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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year

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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times

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simpin-on-noodles · 4 months

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What do you mean this DIDNT happen! Nah this canonically happened-

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sergle · 6 days

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I GOT SOME CATS TO HOCK (ohio edition)

are you in/around Ohio? do you want two of the most perfect kittens in the world? do you want to do me a solid? my friend has these two kitties that she's trying to rehome, and since I've done a few Kitten Rehomings on tumblr, I would like to do it again!! INFO: - green eyes kitten's name is Emmit, blue eyes is July! (you can rename them obv though) - they're both very fluffy and in excellent health - they are extremely, extremely socialized, and they don't want to do anything except be on your face and/or body. they are bottomless pits of love and affection, motivated purely by their need to snuggle. - they love eachother, and need to be rehomed as a pair! which is a pro, not a con, imo, bc they can keep eachother company when you aren't there. if you're interested at all, or you have specific questions, you can hit me up in tumblr IMs! or if you prefer email, use my commission email: [email protected]

reblogs are appreciated! :3

#I've had great luck so far w rehoming kittens to a rotating cast of the lesbians following me #you don't need to be a lesbian to adopt a cat through me but it doesn't hurt #you'll talk to me first but then I'd give you my friend's number if I think you're a good fit for the kittens!#also if you are cool enough then you might be able to come down to the camping property that they live on #you could get a tour of the cabins or perhaps look at their sheeps.#but no promises on that front ALL I CAN PROMISE ARE KITTENS #but while you're there maybe you wanna stay in a cabin. idk #sergle.txt #signal boost

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bamsara · 5 months

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(Making for a post for my friend as she does not have an super active tumblr account, @siren-mortis)

My friend Mika is currently in a bit of a pickle with a several sudden life events having her struggle to pay off some bills. She's handling many on her own, but just found out her two cats have worms (possibly from another animal that visited the house) and one of the cats needs his updated shots.

The vet bill is around $200 total for her cat Tachi to recieve his updated shots, and for both cats to get dewormed. She does not want to put off their care until she is out of the immediate red zone for bills, because it's going to be a long while.

Here is her kofi goal. No obligation at all, but if anyone can spare anything to help, it would be greatly appreciated!

Kitties here in question, Tachi is the grey one and Sabine is the tabby 🐈 🐈

Edit: Mika has since reached her goal and far surpassed!!! Thank you all who donated!! She has posted an update on her kofi here with a cute pic of Tachi if you want to see :D

#Mika is the friend who is helping me with patreon stickers and is the extra pair of hands yall see in stream sometimes lmao #when i stream tonight i might make some sketches for the goal #mutual aid #boosting appreciated!

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cubbihue · 11 days

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Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??

He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.

Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

#fairly oddparents #fop #fop a new wish #fop timmy turner #fop timmy #timmy turner #chimmy changa #asks #raven with a pocketwatch #itty bitties fop au #tw parental neglect #<- ask to tag #using the neighborhood gossip is a very good way to reign in your son when he gets too cocky or proud for your liking.#but its also a good way to boost your social standing!! wow!! the joys of reaping the rewards from someone else's hard work!#by contrast mrs. turner doesnt mention his successes to her friends #which timmy does appreciate somewhat but she also doesnt really. give him much of anything.#so.#cant really tell whats worse. the oversharing or the ignoring.#timmy's parents hosts a LOT of events at their house #so he's usually juggling like. hundreds of tasks at once.#he has to get the drinks the plates the food the clean up watch the kids get more drinks respond to his dad's calls handle 3 conversations #prevent his mom from offering him to clean her friends yards stop that kid from spilling ketchup over the grass catch the loose dog #get more drinks for his dad watch the grill avoid the aunt's mlm scheme pitches reject the neighbor's pitch for a potential girlfriend-#all while picking up work calls and scheduling office hours and fixing his coworkers' mistakes and emailing clients and and-#....which is all to say that timmy does most of the hosting. while his parents partake in the celebrating and partying.#man. you'd think doing this for 20 years you'd be able to handle stress

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findingoblivion · 8 months

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There’s a $500 laptop at the phone store across the street that would let me stream and start making money and building my community again, but realistically I can’t afford to spend that much money in one month, that’s more than my rent.

I know this isn’t the best cause or most important thing ever but I’ve had the same shit laptop that barely functions for 5 years now, and it’s probably going to die soon anyways, in which case I will be completely fucked as I am disabled and can’t make it to most in person jobs, I mostly work from home when I’m employed. Plus you know, there’s that whole thing where my entire life is online and all of my relationships are long distance.

So yeah, if you have a few spare bucks I’d really appreciate it if you could throw some my way. I can also do writing commissions for you for any fandom and premise if that’s something you’re interested in.

My PayPal is [email protected]

If you’d prefer to make a payment through wise or interac e transfer if you’re in Canada please DM me for those details. I can also share my AO3 and some other writing examples if you’d like.

Reblogs are also greatly appreciated!

0/500

#going to try and get a loan from my mother but who knows if she’ll bite #it’s been there for two weeks and I get paid in roughly 10 days #so I’d like to get it when I get paid #it would mean so much #going to set the goal as 500 but realistically even $100 would help an incredible amount #and for my US and UK friends you can give me even a small amount and currency conversion will turn it into nearly double that #mutual aid #signal boost #donations

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gabe-lovebot · 6 months

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councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild #have fun playing toys with him #ultrakill #councilor #councilor ultrakill #3d stuff #obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on #so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks #(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored #i had to add them #to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result #but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but #i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this #i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project #and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going #(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making #but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost #so thank you guys for liking it <3 #i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head #but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe

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lesbianfakir · 3 months

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HE FELL IN LOVE WITH HER AFTER LEARNING SHE WAS JUST A BIRD

The whole show. The whole show. We have this long running character beat of Duck beloved she, as she truly is, is unloveable and once people see her to her very core they will abandon her. But simultaneously!!!!! We have this subtle plot building of fakir, fully aware the girl has feathers, falling in love with her! And it’s so slow it doesn’t come to the forefront until the very end and AAAAAAAAA the amount of times Duck laments how no one would care about her as a bird meanwhile fakir looks at her with the most adoring eyes shut up!! Shut up literally shut up!!!! People will love you for the things you hate about yourself and you’ll have no goddamn idea because you’re so wrapped up in how YOU see yourself!!!!! HE LOVED THAT LITTLE BIRD MORE THAN SHE HATED HERSELF

#going insane I need to go to sleep #not a coherent meta post sorrt #I needed to scream #as I do #constantly #wait I have a smarter post to make in the morning #i have thoughts about needing other people to boost your low self esteem vs genuinely growing to like yourself more because of others #positive impact on you #if that makes sense #idk I’m sleepy #I may have made up a straw man #but I feel like there are people out there who are like well why should she need some guy to feel better about herself #which! yeah she should be able to feel confident with or without him #but she was at such a low point she needed a friend to pull her out #we don’t see her given time to heal #lea talks #princess tutu

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who-is-page · 5 months

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The Alterhumans in Relationships Survey is collecting data on alterhumans and queerplatonic, sexual, and romantic relationships. This survey asks questions about your current and past relationships, and how you feel about relationships and alterhumanity. This survey was made for otherkin, therians, fictionkin, systems, and other people who may call themself alterhuman. But even if you don't use any of those terms, you can take still this survey.

This survey is being organized by Who-is-Page, an alterhuman scholar who has been in the community since 2014. The data collected in this survey will be used for research purposes and may be presented at an online convention (OtherCon 2024) later this year. Depending on how much you write in the write-in questions, this survey takes about 15 minutes.

Survey Link

Your physical body must at least 18 years old to participate in this survey. The survey will close on July 6th.

#otherkin #nonhuman #alterhuman #therian #fictionkin #survey #please signal boost this and send it to your friends!#it will only be open for a very short period of time!#Shoutout to my polycule for assisting me with verbage and beta-testing this SO MANY TIMES #and shoutout to my friends who also were asked to beta test this like twice #ily guys

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crabsnpersimmons · 9 months

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I love the art you drew of DCA wearing a raincoat!! 💗💗

And this is a small gift! ( •͈‎ ̫ •͈ ꢏ💝ꢖ

Haruka!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN! YOU'RE AMAZING!

I love love love everything about your art! The rainbow in the background! The ripples in the puddle below! The flowers and trees! The lighting! The little sun and moon in their raincoats and boots!! They look so cute in your style! And! You even incorporated the textures in moon's hat! Oh my gosh your attention to detail is amazing! Your art is such an inspiration!

I drew a little response from the boys:

The boys love it too! They haven't budged from the fridge all day! I'm not judging, I have this beautiful art set on my phone and my desktop wallpaper. It brings me so much joy! Thank you again, wonderful friend! ♥️♥️♥️

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #dca fandom #ahhhhh I can't say enough about how beautiful this art is!#just know that sun and moon's reactions are 100% my own reactions #I'm just in awe #I have amazing friends #I'm also glad so many of you enjoyed my little raincoat dca doodles #they just started off as a doodle to give me a boost during my course work #but you'll definitely be seeing more of them!#other people's art #crab art

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txxty · 2 months

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he wants that cookie so effing bad

#if i had a friend who looked at me that way id get such an ego boost its insane #will is gods strongest soldier frfr #stranger things #mike wheeler #byler #will byers #byler endgame

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draculestigame · 4 months

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Happy Dracula Anniversary!

On the 26th May 1897, Bram Stoker's Dracula was published.

In honour of the occasion, we'd like to announce the Drâculeşti demo will be available in one month's time.

DEMO COMING 26TH JUNE 🦇

#dracula #draculesti #visual novel #renfield #dracula daily #please boost this tell your family tell your friends tell your solicitors girlfriends friends doctors professor about it

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road-kill-eater · 4 months

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I listed a print of the unicorn drawing up on etsy

#any money i get will go right into ordering more prints #babys first online store #please note: it appears a little darker in person at least to me #my friends say the prints look just fine #but next run ill prob boost the vibrancy a bit

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ruler-of-turtle-kind · 2 months

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Hey, do any of my followers have experience with absconding from their parents' house to a safe place as soon as they're able? Do you have any advice on how to do that? Do you have any advice on what the person they're going to live with should do?

#signal boost #abuse #abuse survivor #abuse survival #a friend of mine is planning on escaping their abusive parents' house to live with me and I want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possibl #and also that I do everything right #I'm planning on bringing my brothers husband mom and two friends when I go to pick them up #so that way we have tough people to help in case their dad tries to keep them from leaving #but I was wondering if maybe I should call the police or something as well so they're aware of what's going on? that way if their parents #try to call the police on us for ''kidnapping'' an adult the police will be on our side #but I'm not sure if that's a good idea because I don't trust cops

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aashiyancha · 2 months

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Hi @faerlumie ! I've got a little present for you for bokumono exchange!

I heard you like Lillian and Oracle from ToTT so I drew a little scene of Lillian hunting down her elusive best friend after a long day of work. Hope you enjoy☆

And then they probably proceed to spend the rest of the day creating very silly potions in Oracle's workshop.

@bokumonoexchange

#harvest moon #harvest moon the tale of two towns #tott oracle #tott lillian #bokumonoexchange2024 #i always feel a little better after a bit of cuddling with my friends after a long day #hope this gives you a bit of an energy boost too!#aashi doodles

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batwynn · 1 month

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Sewing and crafting community!

Anna is at risk of loosing her home and has already lost access to her meds, phone, and internet. Internet issues caused her to lose her remote job, and she is unable to cover the front cost of fabric supplies for orders for her sewing work at this time. She needs $800 in the next ten days just to keep the roof over her and the kitty’s heads. If anyone can help right now, it would be much appreciated!

Her paypal email: [email protected]

(*Note: paypal is slow on the update of her legal name change, but you can find her on instagram at: redleaf.sews to confirm before donating.)

(Plus: the conversion rate from USD to CAD makes even a small donation go further!)

As always, I am more than happy to provide art in exchange for a donation. Please message me a screen shot of your donation, and your request!

#sewing community #crafting community #sewing #crowdfunding #emergancy donations #dress making #urgent #(I will also be boosting other friend’s funds during the day)#(so if anyone can signal boost it would be so helpful!)#(you will be very loved!)#thank you!

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