#friends of the orson family

[simulation-machine]

As a tween, Esme's thing is strawberries.

Her hair is also a bit longer, and she has her ears pierced (finally!)

[facts-i-just-made-up]

what are the card suits?

The card suits as commonly known are Spades, Hearts, Clubs, and Diamonds, but is was not always so. Various decks for many games and purposes have different suits including:

Tarot Cards- Swords, Cups, Wands, and Pentacles

Uno Cards- Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue

Credit Cards- Visa, MasterCard, Discover, and American Express

ID Cards- Driver's, Insurance, State, and Social Security

Sports Cards- Baseball, Basketball, Football, and Calvinball

House of Cards- Democrat, Republican, Independent, and Whig

Score Cards- Golf, Mini-Golf, Bowling, and Witcher Romance

Punch Cards- 100100100, 10101011, 10010, and 1001000101010111

Pokémon Cards- Electric, Grass, Poison, and Planeswalker

Orson Scott Cards- Ender, Alvin, Homecoming, and Ravenous Homophobic Bloggings That Sully His Entire Body Of Work

Hallmark Cards- Thank You, Happy Birthday, Condolences, and "Sorry I Got Semen In Your Eye" (yes I know that was a cake)

Alu Cards- Castlevania, Hellsing, Waverly, and no joke, my friend Alucard J***** from when I was in college at CU Boulder. We met because you could look up people by name on the school website like pre-facebook and spam bots and see their info and email and I looked up the name as a joke and there was one guy and I emailed him like "Dude your name is Dracula backwards!" and it turned out he's related to Bram Stoker and goes to these meetings of his family in Ireland each year and I went with him once and met this girl named Ryann and we hit it off and walked around talking way late into the night and then she turned into a bat and left and I never saw her again and when I went back to tell Alucard, there was no trace of him at college or anywhere else and it turns out Stoker's family all died off in the early 1900s. True story.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Quand Tu Voudras

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: ~7.2k

TW: kissing, angst, blood, burns, cuts, bruises, arguments, crying, depression, mention of EDs, panicking, explosions, drinking, self-image issues, mentions of addiction, mentions of drug use, mentions of Maeve

A/N: Third and Final Part babyyyyyy let's GO. I'm actually excited to watch each part get its own vibes, but also be a cohesive story. I really hope you all enjoy it! Thank y'all for doing me on this crazy journey!

Dedicated to New Lovers , You're Keeping Me Down

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” ~Orson Welles

It was the most beautiful you had ever looked. 

Shopping for a wedding dress was one of the most terrifying experiences you had ever lived through, and you had been shot multiple times. 

But being surrounded by your closest friends and family members as you tried on dress after dress kept you going. 

You finally found the perfect one in a small shop outside of the DC area, hidden in a little suburb where life wasn’t as rushed as it felt. 

You tried on only three dresses at this little boutique. The second was almost perfect, and you were about to “say yes to the dress,” but someone was reorganizing the front rack, and that’s when the one you were currently wearing appeared, sent by the higher powers. 

It fits you perfectly. 

You started to cry when you saw yourself in the mirror, which caused Garcia to start crying, which caused Emily and JJ to cry, and the rest of your family quickly followed. 

So it was only natural that staring at yourself in the mirror right now made you tear up again. 

“Oh, Babe, no.” Emily was quick to fan your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the tears melt back into your eyes. 

“I can’t help it.” You grumbled, eyes wide as you tried calming your breathing slowly. “It’s just so pretty…” 

“I know, I know. My money is on Derek crying first.” 

“Oh, please. We all know Rossi won’t stop crying the second he takes his seat.”

You had decided that the only people you wanted at the ceremony were close friends and family. That meant the team, their little ones, and each of your parents. Small. Peaceful. Intimate.

Derek was over the moon when you asked him to officiate your wedding, wanting him to be there for you in every way since that’s always been his role. 

You had taken him out for coffee under the very real guise that wedding planning made you want to rip your head off and chuck it out to sea. 

“Okay, baby girl, talk to me.” 

The ice was melting in the cup from the warmth of your hands, making your hands wet with the condensation, hiding the sweat from your nerves. 

“Do you know how much flowers cost?” 

Derek chuckled and shook his head. “No. I don’t think I do.”

“The government doesn’t pay me enough for the amount of flowers I want at my reception.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have picked the Peabody Library as your reception location.”

“In my defense.” You furrowed your brows. “You were with us when we toured it. It’s perfect, Derek. Don’t tell me it’s not.” 

“No, it’s perfect; I just don’t understand why you need that many flowers.”

“Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even know me, Derek Morgan.” 

“He’s going to cry first.” Emily smiled, lightly dabbing under your eyes with some of your powder foundation to show that you weren’t almost crying. 

“I will buy you a whole bottle of Möet that Rossi will cry first.” 

As JJ entered the room, you and Emily shook hands, giggling like school girls. “Almost ready?” 

You nodded, glancing over at yourself in the mirror. 

Honestly, you had never thought this day would come. Your wedding day. After everything you had been through, all of the heartbreak, all of the confusion, all of the traveling and running away. Everything you could possibly think of going wrong just went wrong. Suddenly, the flowers weren’t delivered, and then no one showed up to the reception, and then you were left at the altar, abandoned and unloveable again. You couldn’t breathe; your chest was seizing. It was too tight. There wasn’t enough fresh air in the room. Your heartbeat was too loud, and you couldn’t look away from yourself in the mirror. This wasn’t real; Everything bad happening was in your head. 

Or maybe it was an awful dream, and you need to wake up before it gets too far and your heart gets shattered again. 

JJ whispered your name, reaching out for you, sending a shock of electricity through your arm when she touched it. 

You jumped. 

“I want to talk to him.” You blurted out, looking over at JJ. “I–I need to talk to him.” 

“You said yes.” 

You nodded, staring down at your wine glass, pondering if it was the right decision. Emily was wondering the same thing. 

“I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to go back to—”

“It is.” You cut her off, not harshly, just firmly. “I haven’t been the same since I left the BAU, and I left for perfectly valid reasons, Em, I know. But….”

“But?” 

“But I miss it. Don’t you? It flexes my muscles in ways I couldn’t replicate, and I was so good at it. I felt smart and useful and not lost, wandering the islands of Greece.”

If you didn’t know her so well, Emily’s fake gasp could have easily been mistaken for a real one. “We had a fantastic time, and you know it.” 

“Yes, but I also know that I was feeling so unfulfilled intellectually that I went off and got a Ph.D. Like, come on, I never wanted a PhD before I left; I just didn’t know how to challenge myself.”

“That is fair. I just think you need to consider the fact that you’d be working with you know who.”

“You can say his name, Emily. He’s not some dark lord; he’s just an idiot with an IQ of 187.” 

“Yeah, Yeah, look. I have to go, but we are not done with this conversation, okay? I’ll need a full PowerPoint presentation with all the pros and the cons.” 

“Yes, ma’am, I can do that. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

You heard the click of her line going dead before there was a knock on your door. You quickly pressed play on your movie, letting one of your favorite rom-coms (When Harry Met Sally) play in the background as you scrounged around for where you had left your wallet. 

Clad in an oversized shirt you’ve had forever, plaid pajama shorts that were once part of a Christmas set, and your comfiest fuzzy socks, you slid over to the door once you had found your wallet. 

You opened the door. “How much…”

His eyes met yours, and you took a small step back. 

“You are not the pizza guy.” 

“No. I’m not.” 

His answer caused you to laugh a little bit, filling his chest with a warmth he hadn’t felt in over two years. 

“Can I–” He gestured into your house, and you moved to the side, allowing him to enter. 

“I, um….” You bit your lip and eyed him up and down. “As long as you’re okay with When Harry Met Sally playing in the background.”

“Time for the annual rewatch.” He smiled at you nervously, but a very small part of yourself enjoyed the fact that he remembered. 

You headed back towards the couch, casually trying to clean up as you went to give the impression that you were cleaner than you were. 

“Shoes off before you get to the couch.” You called over your shoulder. 

The door closed behind Spencer with a soft click. 

“Honey, you said you don’t want a first look.”

“We don’t have to look at each other—I don’t know, like a corner or something. I just..I-I-I.” 

JJ watched as your panic started to bubble over, and she took your hands in hers. “Want to call him first?” 

You nodded. “Y-Yeah, let’s try that.” 

JJ handed you your phone off the vanity, watching as you dialed the number, panicking even more when it wouldn’t connect—there was no service. 

Spencer had asked you to play chess with him that night, and you obliged. Something about falling into an old routine felt good; it felt right. A movie you chose in the background while playing chess against Spencer. Some things were always meant to be. The night was filled with laughs, small talk, and contentment–life feeling like it should. 

A familiarity shrouded you both, mocking the comfort you once used to feel.

When you won, he was a bit baffled. You had only beaten him a few times, and he was focusing on all of the outcomes. How could he not notice—

“You can’t win every game, Spence.” 

His heart lodged in his throat at the nickname, and he looked up at you, that goofy half smile on his lips. 

Lovestruck. He looked lovestruck. 

And then you exhaled. “We can’t avoid it forever. I know that’s why you came here in the first place.” 

He blinked away the love, replacing it with guilt, hurt, fragments of something you both had grieved in your own time. 

“Y-yeah. Let’s um, let’s talk about…”

You redialled the number only to be met with the same beeping as before, eyes wide as you looked at JJ. “There’s no service. JJ, I can’t–he won’t…” 

Emily handed you her phone–it was ringing, thank god. 

“Hey Emily, is everything okay?” 

“It’s me.” You said simply, but the wobble in your voice said everything he needed to hear.

“oh–Honey, talk to me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

“I-I…” You swallowed your tears and looked over at your two friends—you gestured slightly, silently asking them to leave the room so you could talk to your future husband alone. They obliged, letting the door close. It was nice of them to pretend like they weren’t running over to see if they could eavesdrop from his room, but they were just met with Derek in the hall, who had also been booted out. 

“Is she okay?” 

Emily shook her head. “No idea. She was fine one moment, and she was about to burst the next. Like a complete shift of personality.” 

Derek sighed. “I’ve never seen him switch so quickly either. He was all nervous one minute, but the second he heard her voice….he almost sounded like Hotch doing damage control.” 

JJ laughed slightly at that, glancing back at the door hiding you behind it. 

“Do you think she’ll go through with it?” Derek whispered slowly, making sure no one was around to hear him. 

Emily fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist. “She’s terrified he’s not going to.” 

“Look, Spence, I get it. Shit happens. But you don’t know what it was like, coming home one day and you were laughing with someone else. You hadn’t laughed for months, almost a year, before then.”

“I know. I’m so–”

“Say sorry one more fucking time. Sorry isn’t explaining…or talking to me. I know you have trouble expressing whatever bullshit is going on in your head, but you have to try. It’s me, for fucks sake, Spence, And while I am willing to wait, I can only be so patient for so long with no actual explanation—” 

“I was terrified of you.”

“What…” 

Spencer stood up, pacing back and forth in front of your coffee table, trying to find the right words. “You were so far gone when Em died, and you had sunk into this pit of despair, and I was scared of watching you push down this path, destructive and–and; I didn’t know who you were, and I was so scared to watch you go down this path so I turned away instead.” 

“Spencer, you ran to JJ. You just left me here, alone. And then, when she comes back, you fucking threaten the fact that you were having Dilaudid cravings?”

“I think he’s even more mortified that she will back out on him. He knows everything she’s gone through. I mean–I love her, but she’s got major commitment issues.” 

JJ slapped his arm and glared at him. “And for good reason, Derek.” 

Derek grumbled an ‘ow,’ rubbing at his arm. “I’m not saying it wasn’t justified–I completely side with her on it--I’m just pointing out what we already know.” 

Spencer closed his eyes. “I don’t love you anymore.” 

Your heart leaped into your throat, or maybe it was vomit, you weren’t sure, but all you could do was stare at him from across the kitchen countertop. 

“Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…”

You hadn’t even spoken yet, shaking your head. “Stop. Spencer. What.” 

Your head was pounding, hands gripping onto the counter to try and steady yourself.”

“Sorry.” He whispered. He couldn’t even look at you. He was just staring at his hands, almost unsure about what he was saying. 

“Sorry?” You laughed, tears starting to track down your cheeks. “Spencer, this has to be a sick fucking joke..” 

He shook his head. 

Behind the door, You were just pacing back and forth, listening to his voice, trying to erase this memory from your mind and find a new one to replace it, barely listening to the man on the other end of the line. 

“Hey, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. If you want to call the whole thing off, everyone will understand. If it’s not right—.” 

“No.” You responded immediately. “I–I, I want to do this, I want to marry you…just…”

“You just needed some reassurance. I know.”

You nodded, not realizing he couldn’t hear you nod, but somehow, it felt like he did. 

“I love you.” 

You smiled, exhaling shakily. “Good.” 

His laugh bubbled through his lips, causing you to take another breath.

“I’ll see you out there?” 

“Can you just stay on the phone for another minute or so? I just need, like—”

You could hear him nod over the phone. “Anything you want.”

Somehow, you were back in that fucking elevator. Again. 

But this time, it felt like a homecoming rather than a curse you were trying to break. 

When the doors opened, you saw your family leaving little presents on your desk—flowers, balloons, chocolate, even cupcakes from your favorite bakery. They were all so busy setting it up that they didn’t notice as you walked up behind them, peering over their shoulders. 

“Looks good, guys.” 

“You think—” Derek did a double take and clutched his chest. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 

You laughed and smiled at him, dropping your bag onto your chair. “It looks wonderful. You guys didn’t have to do anything for me–”

“Actually, we did. How could we not? I mean! She’s home! She’s back solving crimes in sexy-looking outfits!” Garcia wrapped her arm around your shoulders, resting her head on yours. 

“I love it, guys, thank you.” 

JJ briskly walked past you all, giving you a brief smile, almost running up the stairs and into Hotch’s office. 

“Well, looks like you’re getting thrown right back into it.” Derek sighed. 

Hotch came out of his office and smiled at you before nodding at the others. “Wheels up in forty, everyone. I’ll brief you all on the plane.” 

“Good.” 

“Just breathe y/n. Okay? I’ll be the one at the end of the altar with the incredibly well-tailored suit and those flowers you like so much pinned to my chest.”

“You’re gonna cry.” You whispered jokingly, taking in a deeper breath than before. “I look so good in this dress. I actually was crying about it before I made Emily call you.” 

“It’s like you’re trying to kill me.”

Derek knocked on your door, leaning his ear up against it, trying to hear what you were saying. He called out your name, and after about a minute, you told him it was unlocked. 

“Can I come in?”

“If you want Derek, it is entirely up to you.” 

He opened the door, tears welling up the second he saw you. 

Hearing him enter, you faced him, smiling softly at him. 

All Derek could do was take you in for a second, unable to really think of what he was about to tell you. This felt a bit ridiculous since he was there when you picked out the dress, but watching you now, ready to actually wear it for its intended purpose, was a whole different ball game. 

“You look…..”

“Right.” You whispered, walking over and squeezing his hand. “I’m ready. Let’s do this thing before shit goes south.”

______________________________________________________________

“Y/n, You are the love of my life, and I could give you an eternal list of every single moment of my life where I felt nothing but complete and utter adoration for you. But then last week, you picked the movie you thought we should watch: a nineties rom-com, obviously, with big romantic gestures and a heroine who doesn’t need to be tamed. And those two inspired me to give you instead a list of the ten things I hate about you.” 

Spencer had gotten a good look at you for the first time in a long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve and that you had broken up. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly, Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore. He hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”

He just nodded at Spencer. “I know, Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation would go any better than that.” 

Reid just nodded and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash. 

Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” with that, Hotch walked past Reid and down the stairs toward where he had assumed you had run off to. 

Reid just returned to his desk, sitting and staring at your now empty desk. Hotch had fulfilled your request, letting you move across the bullpen so you didn’t have to sit next to him anymore. 

Some part of the thought that you couldn’t even look at him anymore caused his gut to lurch, causing his hearing to burst for a moment. Maybe this was too fucked up. Perhaps he had been wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go, not weighing you down with all his own bullshit, but he realized he had failed to pay attention. 

Spencer thought long and hard, trying to piece together everything he had thought about in the past couple of months when it came to you, and that’s when he realized it was every day. He thought about you every day. 

But he had ignored you. He had failed to notice as you crumbled to nothing in front of him. 

“Number ten is that I hate the way you fold laundry. It’s incredible how you manage to fold every single item in a completely different manner. It baffles me. One of the great mysteries in this world that we might never have the answer to.” 

“So you two spoke?”

You held up your finger as you finished the prosecco in your glass. Once you finished, casually, you picked up the bottle and poured yourself a second glass, only beginning to speak when the glass had been filled to your liking. 

“He came over to my apartment, Derek. I had already opened the door, and what was I going to say—”

“How about no?”

“It’s rude to interrupt Derek Morgan.” Penelope elbowed him and took a sip from her own glass. “But he’s right, Y/n. You could have said no and slammed the door in his face.” 

“But that’s not who I am. You know I’m a sucker for closure. You know I wanted to talk to him anyway. I just wasn’t expecting the discussion that ended up happening….”

Derek raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Do tell Princess.”

You shrugged and took another sip. “We talked about Maeve.”  

The looks you received were exactly what you had expected, only because it was how you felt about the conversation. 

“Number nine. I hate how you pick out what we will watch each week. You just skim through every single title on every platform until the one with the right ‘energy’ calls out to you. And they’re never the same. You manage to match a film to the night perfectly, and I hate how well you can pinpoint that about me. 

“Eight. I hate the way you drive. You manage to be the safest and most dangerous person on the road. There’s nothing more to that one. You terrify me.” 

“I cannot believe you, Spencer Reid. You have the audacity to come to my house, lose at chess, and then accuse me of being the reason our relationship ended!?”

“That’s not what I said.” His voice was desperate. “I’m not blaming anyone but myself, okay? I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I just—You were so–”

“I was so what, Spencer. What about me was just soooo fucking terrifying to you that you decided you didn’t want to propose to me anymore.” 

“That’s not fair.” 

Your jaw dropped. “You’re fucked in the head if you think the part that isn’t fair is me calling you out on that.” 

Spencer paced around, running his hands through his hair. He was going to wear a path in your carpet the way he was pacing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

“Seven. I hate how captivating you are. Whenever you tell a story, there’s no use in getting any work done because all anyone can do is wait for the story to be finished. If there’s no ending–I’ve watched Morgan sulk at his desk until you returned from a meeting because you were running late and didn’t wrap up the end of the story for him. Something about the way you speak, the way you capture people’s attention, is one of the most dangerous weapons I’ve ever seen on the planet. 

“I hate—oh, sorry–Number six.” He smiled at you and squeezed your head. You were shaking slightly as you rapidly blinked away tears, trying to inhale and exhale through your nose. It wasn’t working. Every word this man said made you one second closer to jumping onto him and kissing him senseless. “I hate how smart you are. It’s ridiculous. You can argue so beautifully and eloquently that it makes anyone arguing against you look like a fucking idiot. You speak four fucking languages, making you invincible and even more aggravating since you’ve decided to start learning a fifth one. You have started to beat me every other game in chess, which is actually humiliating for me, and I can’t figure out how you’re doing it. You read everything under the sun and still manage to have a life, friends, and family. I don’t know anyone in the world who could compare to your intellect.”

“Five. I hate how you steal my chocolate-covered pretzels. I bought you a whole fucking cabinet’s worth, and somehow, mine still got eaten.” 

You watched him give you a bit of a stink eye for that one, causing you to kiss his hand lightly. “My apologies.”

“You don’t mean it, and you know it.” He grumbled, flipping his page so that he could keep reading. 

“I hate how beautiful you are. It’s distracting. I can’t work near you anymore because all I want to do is daydream about you. I want to watch you smile for the rest of my life if I can help it.” 

“Three. I hate how much you care. It terrifies me how much you care about other people. I have seen you at your best and your worst moments.” You squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I have seen the worst outcomes of cases we could ever imagine, or the best, and yet you put the same amount of effort and care into all of them. It’s infuriating because you put your life on the line constantly to be able to give people a chance, whether that be to save them from others or to save them from themselves. You are the most considerate person in the world, even to those who might not deserve it.” 

This was not a good case. 

It was never a ‘good case,’ but this one just sucked the absolute life out of you. You had been back for only a month, and it was going too well. You were on top of your game. You were better than ever—but you knew the other shoe would drop.

And it did. 

You were never a big fan of getting shot at, but you would prefer that rather than have to escape a burning building. It was one of your biggest fears, and here it was, being realized. 

You had managed to crawl down to the first floor before everything started to go black. He had sealed the windows. He had sprinkled broken glass along the stairs, causing you to rip open your legs and hands as you slid down the stairs. The more significant shards of glass shredding the back of your pants. It was fucking painful. But you had managed to make it to the kitchen. 

That’s when you saw the firefighters bursting through doors, trying to contain the fire surrounding you. You could feel the burn on your skin as they pulled you out of the building, blood dripping down your legs and hands. 

You must have been one fucked up sight for Hotch to drop everything he was doing and run over to you. But you wished he didn’t because the building behind you exploded. The flames must have hit the gas line, and the house came crashing down. 

You were thrown back from the force, causing you to land on your back. Nothing was broken, nothing was sprained, but adding road rash and hearing loss to your ever-growing list of injuries was not fun. 

Spencer and Hotch, who were shoved to the ground by the blast, scrambled over to you, where you were just lying on the ground, facing the sky, trying to breathe. 

Maybe they were yelling your name or just trying to speak to you, but your head buzzed with the remnants of the explosion. 

You watched as the sky above you filled with smoke and flickered with red hues. At some point, you saw Spencer come into your line of view. He was definitely mouthing your name. 

Just then, like a wave crashing over you again, your hearing came back. Overwhelming could barely describe the feeling of shock running through your body. Your eyes widened as tears sprung to your eyes, your lungs gasping for air, and your mind flooded with adrenaline, with panic. 

“Y/N. Hey. Listen to me. Hey.” Hotch had been trying to get you to sit up. He was going through his own internal panic attack—this scene was a little too close to NYC, to Kate. 

Ambulance sirens blared, and you could hear a beam crash down and spur on the fire—” It hurts. So. Bad.” You finally managed to whisper, still gasping for air. 

Reid wasn’t sure you were even registering that you were sobbing and that tears were racing down your cheeks. 

“Can you sit up?” 

“My hands.” You mumbled. “There-there was glass…so much…” 

You flinched as Hotch yelled for a gurney. 

“I need you to try and sit up, okay?” Spencer was next to you. He was on his hands and knees, slowly trying to gain your attention. There is a gentle touch on the arm here and a brush of your hair out of your eyes. He was just trying to give you peace, a breath amid everything going on.

“Spence.” You whined, flexing your hand, wincing when a tiny shard of glass shifted in your palm, causing even more pain. 

“I know.” He said to you, gently taking your hand and wincing as he saw the microscopic shards scattered across your palm. “I need you to sit up for me.” 

“Please don’t make me get up, Spence.” You whispered. 

Hotch had moved away from the both of you, trying to clear a path so two EMTs could reach you. 

“Once you sit up, I promise you won’t have to do anything else.” 

You closed your eyes and let out a cry. It felt so relieving to just let whatever tension you had left in your body. But the thought of not doing anything sounded even better, so you slowly made your way to a sitting position, leaning against Spencer’s chest as he kissed your head and carefully ran his hand up and down your arm. 

Spencer’s entire body relaxed into yours. He had never been more grateful that you could make it out of that building before…he didn’t want to think about what else would have happened. The two of you had just started talking again. You were hanging out. He would have never forgiven himself if he left things the way they were. 

It felt wrong for him to be grateful at how much you got hurt because all of your limbs were still intact, and you were still conscious, still breathing. But he was thankful as he held you on the pavement, in the middle of the road, while everyone ran around you both. 

You, on the other hand, were not happy to be sitting up. The adrenaline started to wear off, and your body was no longer buzzing. “Spence.” You whispered to him, trying to get his attention. You were nauseous, and the world was spinning. Everything was phasing in, and out of clarity, you could actually feel the earth rotating. 

“Spence.” This time, it was said with more urgency. And it caught his attention. “I need to lie back down.” 

“You can’t—”

“I’m gonna vomit.” 

“Shit shit shit, okay, nausea is usually a sign of a concussion, a really bad one, most likely in the red zone—”

“Spencer, please.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and slumping against him, trying your best to hold down whatever you felt slowly creeping up your throat. 

“I can’t let you lay back down.” He mumbled, turning you in his arms, prepping for whatever would come out. 

Luckily for both of you, the two EMTs and Hotch had made it back over, bucket in hand, because Hotch had told them you most likely had a concussion. And god bless that stupid bucket because it managed to save some of your dignity by not throwing up all over the street. The EMTs had checked you out, flashing that stupid fucking light in your eyes, looking at your hands and doing their best to pull out some of the larger chunks of glass, and then helping to get you onto a gurney, and eventually into an ambulance to be shipped off to the nearest hospital. 

Spencer was the only person you would allow to come with you in the ambulance. 

“Two. I hate how well you know me and can read me like an open book. I have never met someone who knew me in the same way you could. You know things about me before I could even fathom the possibilities. You have been there for me in some of the darkest times of my life, and I would not have survived if it wasn’t for you. You picked me off the ground countless times, more than I could ever repay you for.” 

“And last but not least. I hate how I can’t live without you. I hate that if you’re not in the same room as me, I can’t breathe. I hate how you manage to make my days filled with comfort, support, and love when sometimes I don’t deserve it. I hate when you go away to conferences, and I have to wake up to an empty bed, and the only thing that motivates me is the fact that I know you’ll text me as soon as you’re awake. I hate how you are the last person I want to see at night before I go to sleep. And I hate that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

You were fully crying, tears tracking down your cheeks, as you squeezed his hand tightly. You laughed slightly, trying to wipe away one of the stray tears, but he beat you to it, using his thumb to wipe away your tears gently. 

“Did you just quote When Harry Met Sally at me?” 

He smiled cheekily, handing the paper back to Derek, who put it in his pocket. “What else would I be able to quote at you? It was playing that night…” 

You shook your head, unable to stop the smile across your face. You heard him whisper, “I love you,” but it still made your heart ache. 

“Okay, Doctor Reid. Work your magic.” 

“You make it sound like I’m performing a spell or something. I’m literally just fixing your computer.” 

You snorted and shrugged. “Isn’t it you who always said that physics and magic are basically the same thing.”

“Okay, yes, but—”

“And computer science is a science, right?” 

Spencer just rolled his eyes, realizing he would not win this argument, and began to futz with your desktop. 

It had crashed on you while you were in the middle of a report. At home. In your pajamas. 

This was a practice that was familiar to Spencer. Whenever you were working on something that was not classified or very sensitive information, you had gotten special clearance from Hotch to bring it home. So Spencer has seen you write up preliminary profiles for cases around the country in nothing but your pajamas many times. 

Except he hasn’t seen you in just pajama shorts and a tank top since, well. 

He was supposed to be focusing on the desktop, and that is what he is going to do. 

“I really appreciate you coming over at like 10 pm, Spence. I really do. I’m sure you were busy, so I really appreciate it.”

He shook his head and looked over his shoulder at you. “It was no trouble, really. Besides.” He turned back to the screen with a cheeky grin across his face. “I know how you get when something breaks.” 

Your jaw dropped slightly, and you leaned against the kitchen counter. “Spencer. Are you…flirting with me…”

His face turned slightly red as he quickly faced the computer screen again. “And so what if I am,” he mumbled, focusing on the task at hand. He wasn’t sure how you managed to freeze your computer this badly, but he was determined to work it out. 

You shrugged and checked your phone, looking at the text from Emily that you had chosen to ignore. Maybe she told you not to ask Spencer over. Maybe she had warned against moving too quickly with anything. 

But you were a grown adult, you could make your own choices. You could—

“It’s, uh, it’s all fixed for you.” Spencer had stood up and was nervously fiddling with his hands. He hasn’t been like this towards you since you had both started dating over seven years ago. 

You bit your lip and casually turned your phone on DnD. 

“Thanks, Spence. I really appreciate it.” 

He nodded, doing his best to stop eying you up and down. 

The two of you stood there, unsure of how to continue on with one another. 

The tension was thick, almost like a humidity in the air that covered your skin and ruined your hair, just by stepping into it. 

Spencer eventually broke eye contact and wiped his hands on his pants. “Well, I’m going to uh…Have a good night.” He quickly grabbed his bag from the counter and shut the door behind him. 

Your hands dragged down your face as you sighed and shook your head. Maybe it was for the best that you two just stayed friends. Maybe it was for the best that you two never were in a relationship again. You remembered what happened last time. Maybe you should just finish the report and go to bed. Or maybe you should run after him. It wouldn’t be that embarrassing, considering he was staring back at you, right? 

Who said you didn’t deserve to make a bad decision every now and again. 

You grabbed your keys and slid on your slippers, not even bothering to grab a coat. You opened the door and came face to face with an out-of-breath Spencer just about to knock on your door. You took one look at each other. 

And that’s when he reached down and brought your lips to his. 

Emily reached over and gently handed you your vows.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” You whispered, causing everyone around you to laugh softly at you, desperately trying to stop crying. 

“I said I was going to try not to cry during his, and that obviously was not the case.” You slowly exhaled your lips, taking his hand and smiling up at him.

“Hey.” You whispered, causing him to whisper it back to you. “So–um. I wrote my vows a long time ago. Like, a while back. And I was looking for them and almost couldn’t find them. But I remembered that I had written them in that really small brown, leather journal thing that you got me for one of my birthdays that I kept losing because I always put it down and never remembered where.” 

The small, collected group laughed together, watching you turn the page in that small brown leather journal. 

“I didn’t know where I wanted to start when writing my vows. I knew how I wanted it to end, though. I’ve always known how I wanted my life to end and everything to go. So that’s what I did. I started at my endgame and worked my way backward. But shit happens, and life never goes according to plan. Never.” 

He squeezed your hand. 

Those weeks after were fucking brutal for you. 

Relaxing was something you were never fantastic at, so having to take two weeks off to recover from your concussion, burns, cuts, and bruises was excruciating. 

Maybe it would have been worse if a certain someone wasn’t basically living in your apartment with you, doing anything and everything to be there for you. 

You woke up to freshly brewed coffee, sometimes breakfast if he wasn’t away on a case. Sometimes, he’d be home in time to make you both dinner. It felt oddly domestic for you, reminding you of before Maeve, before everything that had gone down over the phone. 

Once the two weeks were over, he might have visited to check up on you. There would be nights where he would stay over just in case your head or back started to hurt again. It took more convincing for Spencer to let you go back to work than it did for your actual neurologist. 

“Need I remind you I’m a doctor too, Spencer. I’m going back to work on Monday, meaning two over one, majority rules.” 

Spencer scoffed and crossed his arms. “The lights will cause headaches, and staring at screens and files will only add to that. It’s a bad idea, y/n. Especially if we have to go somewhere, traveling across the country in a plane. You might as well knock yourself out because the air pressure would kill your head and ear drums.” 

“Always the one for dramatics, aren’t we.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I’m not being dramatic. I just care about your well-being, apparently more than you do—”

“Spence.”

“What.”

You kissed him softly. Just to shut him up. There were no ulterior motives. None. 

He hummed, hands sliding around your waist, keeping you close to him as you broke the kiss. 

That was another development you were keeping under wraps. The two of you might have decided to give it another shot. It had been over a month since you rejoined the BAU, and even before you got severely injured, Spencer had been doing everything he could to apologize. Whether that be his apologies or through his actions, he was stepping up. 

But both of you had yet to outright tell the others. Emily knew something was going on, especially when you showed up to work in the same outfit two days in a row, but she had assumed you had seen someone else, not your ex. 

You didn’t mind, though, when he took such good care of you when he bought you fresh flowers every week, when he kissed you past the point of breathing when he would—

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer whispered, interrupting whatever spiral you had started.

“What book I should read next.” 

“Liar.” He squeezed your sides, laughing softly and kissing you again. 

“There’s not much I can say about how life doesn’t go as planned since everyone here with us understands and knows how quickly life changes. But I realized that I need to have you by my side regardless of how it changes. I don’t want to be back in a place where I’m not with you because it just didn’t make any sense.” 

“My vows are short because I would never make it through them if they were any longer.” 

This caused another ripple of laughter throughout your friends, giving your fiancé a moment to wipe away another stray tear on your cheek. 

“All of this to say.” You cleared your throat, but it didn’t stop the tears from clouding your vision. “Shit. Give me a second.” 

Emily gave you a tissue, which you used to wipe under your eyes. You shook your hands slightly, trying to calm yourself down and shake out the rest of the emotions so that you could at least finish saying your vows. 

“Having begun to love you, I love you forever—in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself.”

Spencer beamed joyfully, realizing you followed his same path, quoting something you knew the other loved. 

And suddenly, the stars aligned. A soft breeze picked up, and the world was quiet. 

Everything was alright. Everything was okay. 

And for that beautiful, brief moment, you had everything you could have ever asked for, and there was nothing you would have changed, nothing in the whole world that was worth the love and happiness you felt in this moment, beaming at Spencer as you both said

I do. 

“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @gubzgirl @onlyspence @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @mynameisnotokay @kalulakunundrum @academiareid @lilsunshine1092 @brilliantreid @shqwqrma @cluelessteam @lockwoods-coat-and-reids-vests @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @r-3dlips @lilrios-world @hereforfun22-blog @mega-kittyglitter-1

[liamlawsonlesbian]

what book I would give each current formula one driver to introduce them to the joy of reading

an intellectual exercise no one* asked for

Max Verstappen: Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond - if you are nd and have read this book, you may understand me. otherwise just trust me. the impetus for this post

Checo Perez: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White - this is an excellent read-aloud book for Sergio Jr.'s age, and there is nothing as wonderful as reading a compelling book to a kid you love, imho

Charles Leclerc: The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman - he is on the record as a Potter enjoyer. also, I think he would enjoy having a little animal friend

Carlos Sainz: Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood - okay yes this is partially a joke about the title, but this is a hilarious and wonderful memoir, about weird families and Catholicism, and I think Carlos would enjoy it.

Lando Norris: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett - in my mind Lando is a little bit like @bright-and-burning but less cool, so this fits. also, the combination of high number of jokes/page + action/mystery seems like a good fit

Oscar Piastri: Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie - this book has the kind of mystery that really draws you in, plus I think Oscar would dig the questions about AI it digs into. I choose to believe with zero evidence that he would be interested in the funky gender stuff

Fernando Alonso: Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell - look me in the eye and tell me this book wasn't written for Fernando Alonso

Lance Stroll: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - yeah

Lewis Hamilton: Die Trying by Lee Child - Lewis deserves to read mildly trashy thrillers <3 plus there's a Tom Cruise movie

George Russell: Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith - as a proud Brit, George should be reading one of the premiere English authors of the 21st century. her first book of essays is a fun and readable place to start

Yuki Tsunoda: Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel - I don't have a Yuki-lore explanation, I just want to give him one of my favorite books

Daniel Ricciardo: The Gunslinger by Steven King - The Dark Tower series is Lord of the Rings-esque in scope but Western-inflected in aesthetic and written by The Horror Guy, I think DR would enjoy

Alex Albon: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee - I say this with so much love in my heart, but Alex wants to be seen as smart. this book is brilliantly written pop science

Logan Sargeant: Bloomability by Sharon Creech - yes this is a book for tween girls, but it's about boarding school in Switzerland, and Sharon Creech is a genius. if I could convince him to read it, I think he would love it

Valtteri Bottas: The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien - what are hobbits if not humanoid moomins?

Zhou Guanyu: Piranesi by Susannah Clarke - a fun, exciting, stylishly written book for a stylish guy

Kevin Magnussen: Watership Down by Richard Adams - rabbit warfare <3

Nico Hulkenberg: A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles - Hulk SEEMS like a Dad Who Reads Historical Fiction, even if he isn't yet

Pierre Gasly: Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - I almost said A Game of Thrones but I don't think that would be good for him. so, Six of Crows. he likes heists!

Esteban Ocon: City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty - a superhero origin story of sorts for Mr. Spiderman

Bonus: Liam Lawson: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - lesbian from New Zealand. let me have this

*ro asked for it, take it up with them @oscarpiastriwdc

[animalsalvationassociation]

A.S.A. Octonauts Headcanons:

Pt. 2.5 — Barnacles:

Childhood & Younger Years . . . ft. Barnacles’ sister Bianca

His full name is Barnacles Dour Seaver II, he was named after his (now) late father.

Bianca’s real name is Sedna Denali Seaver and was named after her great great grandmother. But when she went to college in the UK no one could pronounce it so she changed it to Bianca.

Her mother happened to do the same thing at her age because of the social standards of having a “normal” name.

Barnacles respects his sister’s wishes to call her Bianca, at least in public, so Sedna has become more of a family used name.

Barnacles grew up in their family Lighthouse with Bianca, his mother Beatrice, as well as their father and grandfather. The lighthouse was built by his ancestors to help wayward boats up north and has been cared for, for over ten generations.

Their family actually has native blood running through them, and have always lived quietly beside the ocean. Only when the lighthouse was built did they officially settle down. Before that they were travelers and participated in special hunting traditions and ceremonies.

In order to continue those traditions Barnacles’ family, as well as many others, meet together once a year to hunt on the sea ice.

Their father was a trades/fisherman within the markets of the north. Unfortunately one year their father’s ship disappeared in a horrible storm when Bianca and Barnacles were only seven.

Their grandfather eventually died some weeks later from heartbreak. That’s when their Auntie Juliette decided to come live with them. Their mother got very sick due to her own ailing heart, forcing the twins to grow up faster than they should’ve in order to take care of their mother.

Natquik, in his own way, became the father Barnacle always needed and was always there when it was most important, especially when it came to the rest of his family. It’s because of Natquik that Barnacles was inspired to join the military (or in this case the navy).

Natquik was the one to teach him how to play the Accordion.

A few months after his father disappeared Barnacles fell into the ice hole, it was a very vulnerable time for him. It took several hours for the scouts to get Barnacles out, even then they were still forced to get their scout leaders because of how unstable the ground was, as well as the lack of supplies. He was always grateful to them, especially his sister who refused to leave him behind.

Because of where they lived they had very few friends growing up, and most of them were polar bears. Boris was the first friend he ever made that lived in the ocean, sparking his curiosities about the world beneath the waves.

He did his best to work hard in his studies, hoping to grow his knowledge on the ships that sailed past his little island home.

Barnacles and Bianca made a pact when they were kids that they would always be there for one another no matter where they went in the world. And they keep that promise to this very day.

Barnacles joined the navy as soon as he was old enough while Bianca went off to study English and Social Sciences in London.

By that time a Professor by the name of Lwazi Ntuli had created specialized suits for creatures who otherwise wouldn’t be able to breathe/function in places that weren’t their natural territory. And to test them they were given out to those who earned scholarships from out of the way places such as the Arctic, Antarctic, the seas/ocean, etc, etc.

While studying abroad Bianca rekindled her relationship with an old friend (another polar bear) who was also studying in London at the time. After some odd years they fell in love and married, he eventually became Orson and Ursa’s father.

Unfortunately only a few months after Bianca announced that she was expecting the two got in a car accident and he passed away within an hour of arriving at the hospital.

Barnacles didn’t find out until after the twins were born when he and Peso came to visit and hunt with them. That was the first and only time Barnacles and Bianca had stopped communicating and he vowed that it would never happen again.

Bianca and the twins now live with her mother Beatrice and Auntie Juliette in the lighthouse. Bianca now plans to raise them as she works on her novels. While Barnacles is set to protect the world, Bianca is preparing to take on the role of lighthouse keeper to protect the ships that her ancestors were so keen to watch over.

Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 ,

[vintage1981]

The Life and Deaths of Christopher Lee Kickstarts Deluxe Blu-ray Edition

The Life and Deaths of Christopher Lee mixes traditional documentary with a dash of fantasy. It is narrated by Christopher Lee himself... in the form of an elaborate marionette, voiced by Peter Serafinowicz. The marionette was custom designed and built by Arch Model Studios, who made all of the puppets for Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox, Isle of Dogs and Asteroid City and Tim Burton's Frankenweenie. 

The film combines new, exclusive interviews with filmmakers, including Peter Jackson, John Landis and Joe Dante, friends and family members with animated flights of fantasy from a wide variety of artists including 2000AD's Simon Coleby, award winning stop-motion animator Astrid Goldsmith and the legendary illustrator Dave McKean who directed, scored and animated a whole chapter of the film himself. 

Spanning eight decades and almost three hundred films, Christopher Lee became famous for his iconic performance as Dracula. But he was so much more than just the Hammer Horror roles he is so fondly remembered for. His career took him from uncredited parts in 1950s swashbucklers with Errol Flynn, through famous performances in 007 and Star Wars films, cult hits like The Wicker Man and The Return of Captain Invincible, right up to a lead role in cinema's biggest event - The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Along the way, he worked with everyone from Orson Welles to Mario Bava, Jess Franco, Tim Burton, Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg. 

Yet his story is so much richer than just his career. Lee was born into Italian aristocracy, with a military career shrouded in secrecy and kept his private life closely guarded. Some of his ventures and adventures seem highly improbable yet, as the film reveals, he often found himself in unexpected situations - he witnessed the last ever death by guillotine, was cousins with 007 creator Ian Fleming, he met Tolkien, performed with the classic Saturday Night Live line-up, was a friend and neighbour of Boris Karloff, he was the oldest person to ever get on the Billboard music charts (with his own Heavy Metal album), was an expert knife thrower, professional opera singer and a Nazi hunter. And somehow, he also managed to appear in almost 300 films of both the highest and lowest quality imaginable. 

The film is finished and producers Jon Spira and Hank Starrs want to share it with you by producing a top quality Blu-Ray with great extra features and a really amazing LIMITED/NUMBERED EDITION COFFIN-SHAPED BOX SET, full of goodies, which will look killer on the shelf of any discerning cineaste. The jewel in the crown of this box-set will be a 3D 'death mask' of Christopher Lee designed and produced by Arch Model Studio exclusively for this set. They also want to host some screenings - both online and in real cinemas - so we can all experience it together and you can get to meet some of the people behind it.

Making this film has been a fascinating journey - producers excavated the British Film Institute archives where they hold Lee's personal collection of scrapbooks detailing his career in his own hand, been given access to personal photos from the family archive, they met and interviewed his closest friends and family from all over the world and we've worked with some incredible artists, puppeteers, animators, musicians and filmmakers to bring his story to the screen in the most cinematic way. Whether you're a fan of Horror, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or just cinema history in general, we think you'll be delighted by this revealing and eclectic documentary.

Risks and challenges

The film is fully edited and ready to go. This Kickstarter is to fund the final bits of post-production and the production of a fantastic Blu-ray and deluxe collectors edition box set as we're all still committed to physical media. Please note that all illustrations of rewards are designs/prototype images. The final items might differ - we hope they'll actually be better.

[runningthrough-if]

[ intro post ]

Silas Barclay, Jr.

Name: Silas Casten Barclay II (Jr.) Age: 28 Highest Education: Bachelor’s in Environmental Science Star Sign: Aries Moon Sign: Aries Rising Sign: Sagittarius Hangout: Graves (Bar) Favorite Things: E’s signature Old Fashioneds, bow hunting season, gambling, talking shit, and his best friend, Jasper Barclay. Least Favorite Things: His father, beer and hard seltzers, {redacted}, and anyone who’s ever said, “Hunting is a job?”. Fun Fact: Never understands any modern references or memes Jasper tries to show him. Personality: Silas is known around town for his brash and aggressive attitude, and while he is those things, he’s also incredibly observant and perceptive. However, the later are traits he’d rather hide away as his father enjoys calling them ‘sensitive attributes’. Even when he shouldn’t be, he’s conscious of his family’s wishes and does his best to fill the mold they’ve laid out for him. Appearance: 6’1. Tan skin. Dark brown eyes. Long, black hair (with a gray streak at the font) that’s normally pulled back in a bun. Wears dark jeans, plain t-shirts, and simple tennis shoes a majority of the time.

Nell Valez

Name: Nell Maria Valez Age: 30 Highest Education: Associates in Funeral Services Star Sign: Pisces Moon Sign: Virgo Rising Sign: Pisces Hangout: Vonn Swamp Favorite Things: Ethical and sustainable taxidermy, Joyce Carol Oates’ short stories, foxgloves, and jazz music. Least Favorite Things: ‘Aesthetic’ witches, those who hunt for fun rather than necessity, and gender stereotypes. Fun Fact: She only buys clothes that are black, white, or green. It started when she was a teenager and just kind of stuck. Personality: Nell is known for being down to earth and friendly. She’s got an calm demeanor about her which seems to naturally attract people - even though she would prefer to be alone, outside of her coven. Appearance: 5’4. Umber skin. Light brown eyes. 4A (slightly coiled), black hair that falls at her shoulders when styled. Wears lots of lace and layers no matter the season. Has a double nose piercing on both sides that she adorns with gold jewelry. Minimal to no makeup.

Ellis/Eve Van de Ber

Name: Ellis/Eve Montgomery Van de Ber Age: 32 Highest Education: Bachelors in Public Relations Star Sign: Leo Moon Sign: Aquarius Rising Sign: Virgo Hangout: Bambi’s (Trailer Park) Favorite Things: Top shelf whiskey, {redacted} behind the bar, and 70’s pornos. Least Favorite Things: Being a ‘Van de Ber’, those they assume are prudes, and Willow’s Rest. Fun Fact: Once stole a baby alligator from Vonn Swamp and set it loose in the bar for shits and giggles. No…really. Personality: E is know for being the life of the party; whether or not that’s a good thing depends on the day and the party. Despite their constant need for attention, they tend to keep people at an arm’s length. It’s fine to talk to each other at the bar, but no, you’re not getting their phone number and no, they’re not adding you on any social media. Despite their flaws, those who are able to get close to them see someone who cares deeply not only for their personal relationships, but someone who holds theirself to an impossible standard. Appearance: 5’8. Golden skin. Green eyes. Shoulder length brown hair that’s cut in a wolf cut. Black and white, traditional tattoos covering 95% of their body. Multiple ear piercings and a lower lip (black hoop) piercing on right side. Usually wears black jeans, a black tank-top, and black combat boots (with a leather jacket in cooler weather). Heavy makeup (Eve).

Orson Barclay

Name: Orson Archer Barclay Age: 29 Highest Education: Bachelors in English. (Missing 3 classes from his Library Science Degree.) Star Sign: Virgo Moon Sign: Virgo Rising Sign: Libra Hangout: Landry’s Rowe Library Favorite Things: Anne Rice, visiting his parent’s graves, shots of espresso, and fishing at Vonn Swamp. Least Favorite Things: Willow’s Rest, rush hour at Able & Poe, and hot tea. Fun Fact: Recently began working to re-open the shut down movie theater near the edge of town. (His parent’s were working on this before their passing.) Personality: For a man who runs the most popular restaurant in town, Orson is still a mystery to most of the locals. He’s polite and level-headed while working, but aside from small town gossip, not many know much about him. Appearance: 6’3. Tan skin. Dark blue eyes. Dark brown hair cut short and clean. Wears glasses. Has one tattoo to memorialize his parents on his right arm (upper). Typically dressed in simple, dark slacks, button downs (of various patters and colors), and loafers.

Vernon/Verena Hart

Name: Vernon/Verena Reese Hart Age: 31 Highest Education: High School Diploma Star Sign: Libra Moon Sign: Cancer Rising Sign: Aquarius Hangout: N/A Favorite Things: Horror movies (slashers and creature features are their favorites), collecting funky mugs, volunteering at animal shelters, and film photography. Least Favorite Things: Pretentiousness, art schools, and their anxiety. Fun Fact: Can play guitar and would be a musician if not a photographer. Personality: V is known for their expansive creativity; they see the world as a canvas ready to photograph, narrate, paint, etc. To the world, they may be bubbly and fun and a bit too self-centered, but you see a different side of them. With you they’re more attentive and caring; it’s less about them and more about your needs and feelings. Appearance: 5’8. Pale skin. Green eyes. Curly, long (light coppery) red hair parted in the middle with curtain bangs (Verena). Short on the sides, long on top, curly, red hair styled messily (Vernon). Freckles across their nose and cheek. Double ear piercings. Both dress rather casually in jeans, pullovers, and simple shoes.

Cash/Cassandra Landry

Name: Cash/Cassandra Riven Landry Age: 35 Highest Education: ??? Star Sign: Sagittarius Moon Sign: Scorpio Rising Sign: Taurus Favorite Things: Leading the church, polaroid photos, communion, and baptismal sessions in Vonn Swamp. Least Favorite Things: {redacted}, {redacted}, their parents, their sisters, and Orson Landry. Fun Fact: Has tried to re-write the bible on multiple occasions. Personality: Cash/Cassandra are known for being a little odd, but they still manage to draw people in with an easy charisma. They’re the epitome of understanding how to make you feel like you are the most seen and important person in the room. Despite their long-winded, religious rants, people still line up to talk to them when they come into the heart of the town. Appearance: 5’10. Pale skin. Light blue eyes. Long, straight blonde (platinum) hair that they normally wear down. No piercings or tattoos. Often seen wearing their ‘Sunday best’, monochromatic white outfits.

[the-modern-typewriter]

November 2023 Book Rec

Fraternity by Andy Mientus

Queer, Historical YA (USA, 90s,)

Dark Academia vibes

Demons

Multiple POVs

Found family

Note: period typical homophobia/racism, bullying, AIDs crisis

In the fall of 1991, Zooey Orson transfers to the Blackfriars School for Boys hoping for a fresh start following a scandal at his last school. However, he quickly learns that he isn’t the only student keeping a secret. Before he knows it, he’s fallen in with a group of boys who all share the same secret, one which they can only express openly within the safety of the clandestine gatherings of the Vicious Circle – the covert club for gay students going back decades. But when the boys unwittingly happen upon the headmaster’s copy of an arcane occult text, they unleash an eldritch secret so terrible, it threatens to consume them all. A queer paranormal story set during the still-raging AIDS crisis, Fraternity examines a time not so long ago when a secret brotherhood lurked in the shadows. What would Zooey and his friends do to protect their found family?

TMT notes: It wasn't what I expected when I picked it up, but I loved it! It's a dark, unique book, lightened by the genuine-feeling connections and love between the main cast of complex characters. Despite the paranormal elements, it felt very real to me. The narrative voice is distinctive and rich. I personally had an amazing time from start to end :)

(Previous monthly recs here)

[impossibledial]

i’ve always found it odd that clara says, “i have to be with danny pink” in dark water.

to preface this, let’s discuss the difference between “need to” and “have to”:

“i need to” - usually refers to a necessity.

“i have to” - usually refers to an obligation.

i would be remiss if i did not acknowledge that the two can be and often are used interchangeably. that being said, doctor who is a work of fiction and has writers. in my opinion, the line sounds unnatural in the context of the scene. i would think steven moffat would be aware of the connotations belonging to each phrase.

clara says this line in response to danny saying, “you have your life. you have your whole life to live. you have to stay there.”

unlike with clara’s response, if you replace what danny says with, “you need to stay there” the meaning behind the words would still remain the same. so, why does danny say she has to?

well, let’s think about clara’s obligations; clara has a family - her father, her grandmother. friends - she takes care of angie and artie as an obligation to her friend that died in series 7, the doctor. and, of course, a life to live - the life her mother always wanted for her.

let’s not forget one of the key character traits the doctor admires about clara, she doesn’t run out on the people she cares about.

in listen, we discover that danny grew up in a children’s home. he has no family to speak of - any family that he knows of, anyway (moffat mentioned his father has an estranged brother which explains the existence of orson pink.)

now, i’ve seen people mention orson pink. meeting him may have lead clara to believe that her fate lies with danny.

but, i don’t think it’s that simple.

i think meeting orson is one of the reasons that lead to clara going to danny’s apartment at the end. but, clara was already forcing the date to work out. she had already asked the doctor to send her back in her timeline to fix it. this is probably due to her need for control as the date didn’t go as planned.

there’s also no ignoring the fact that clara loved danny - although, she wasn’t very good at it. but, was it love of the self-sacrificial kind? not before dark water.

the episode starts off with clara making a promise to danny - a promise to be faithful to him. she does this to make up for all the bad things she has done over the course of their relationship.

now, it’s easy to make the lies she told him all about the doctor because in a way, they are. but, they’re also about herself - she could never be open with him about who she was.

and, that’s not because of danny. it’s because of clara’s need for control. she wants to compartmentalize the two different lives she is leading. she wants to be two people at once but in doing so, denies her true character.

during this entire dialogue, clara continually asks danny to stop saying i love you. she even says, “i love you means nothing right now.”

she may just be referring to the words here but in the context of the scene it could represent a whole other aspect of their relationship. it’s interesting that danny couldn’t find anything to say that could convince her that it’s really him (he doesn’t even know her mother’s name if you read the script).

her love for danny means nothing here but her obligation towards him does.

shouldn’t the fact that he asks her not to sacrifice her life for him be enough of a giveaway? throughout their relationship, we saw that there was a lack of trust and sincere communication, and, this is the culmination of it.

[duckprintspress]

10 Books for Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day!

May 24th is Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day, so make sure to say hi to your pan friends before they’re invisible again! We’re celebrating with (shock) book recommendations! Explicit pan rep is hard to come by, and in cases where it’s implied, the difference between interpreting a characters as bi versus pan is often down to personal perceptions of the character and the sexuality/romanticisms in questions. With that in mind, we present 10 titles we loved with either explicit or implied pan rep! The contributors to this list are: Nina Waters, Tris Lawrence, boneturtle, E. C., and two anonymous contributors

All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries series) by Martha Wells

“As a heartless killing machine, I was a complete failure.”

In a corporate-dominated spacefaring future, planetary missions must be approved and supplied by the Company. Exploratory teams are accompanied by Company-supplied security androids, for their own safety.

But in a society where contracts are awarded to the lowest bidder, safety isn’t a primary concern.

On a distant planet, a team of scientists are conducting surface tests, shadowed by their Company-supplied ‘droid—a self-aware SecUnit that has hacked its own governor module, and refers to itself (though never out loud) as “Murderbot.” Scornful of humans, all it really wants is to be left alone long enough to figure out who it is.

But when a neighboring mission goes dark, it’s up to the scientists and their Murderbot to get to the truth.

A Fisherman of the Inland Sea by Ursula K. Le Guin

The award-winning stories in A Fisherman of the Inland Sea range from the everyday to the outer limits of experience, where the quantum uncertainties of space and time are resolved only in the depths of the human heart. Astonishing in their diversity and power, they exhibit both the artistry of a major writer at the height of her powers and the humanity of a mature artist confronting the world with her gift of wonder still intact.

Commit to the Kick by Tris Lawrence

For eighteen years, Alaric has lived under the cloying politics of family and his Clan community. His freshman year is supposed to be a chance to explore a world where Clan and his shapeshifting Talent isn’t central to his life. But when his inner bear bursts forth during his first football game, endangering those around him, Alaric realizes that it’s not so easy to ignore his past, or his own internalized anger.

In his quest for anger management, Alaric begins to train in taekwondo, and makes new friends in both sports. He finds that he is creating his own small community, where Clan, Mages, other Talents, and even humans come together and build their own found family.

When Alaric receives news that something has happened to his brother Orson, he must return and deal with his Clan and his place in their world. He discovers that old prejudices are still strong between Clan and Mage communities, but that both may be in danger from a creature long thought to be only a legend. Alaric must figure out how to move forward and prevent a war and protect both his home and newly built communities, his found family with him every step of the way. 

Count Your Lucky Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur

Margot Cooper doesn’t do relationships. She tried and it blew up in her face, so she’ll stick with casual hookups, thank you very much. But now her entire crew has found “the one” and she’s beginning tofeel like a fifth wheel. And then fate (the heartless bitch) intervenes. While touring a wedding venue with her engaged friends, Margot comes face-to-face with Olivia Grant—her childhood friend, her first love, her first… well, everything. It’s been ten years, but the moment they lock eyes, Margot’s cold, dead heart thumps in her chest.

Olivia must be hallucinating. In the decade since she last saw Margot, her life hasn’t gone exactly as planned. At almost thirty, she’s been married… and divorced. However, a wedding planner job in Seattle means a fresh start and a chance to follow her dreams. Never in a million years did she expect her important new client’s Best Woman would be the one that got away.

When a series of unfortunate events leaves Olivia without a place to stay, Margot offers up her spare room because she’s a Very Good Person. Obviously. It has nothing to do with the fact that Olivia is as beautiful as ever and the sparks between them still make Margot tingle. As they spend time in close quarters, Margot starts to question her no-strings stance. Olivia is everything she’s ever wanted, but Margot let her in once and it ended in disaster. Will history repeat itself or should she count her lucky stars that she gets a second chance with her first love? 

Maneater (Monsters of Moonvale series) by Emily Antoinette

If something ever seems too good to be true, it probably is. That’s how the “friendly” invitation to join a new coven turned into a surprise demon summoning. At least it wasn’t a virgin sacrifice. Then I really would have been screwed—and not in the way they plan for with the succubus they’ve bound. 

When I help free her from the bindings and offer her a ride back to work, things get even weirder. She tells me she wants to see me again. This captivating woman wants to see me—a nerdy witch who spends his free time playing D&D. 

There’s no way she means it. Because that’s definitely too good to be true. Still, there’s no way I can resist the opportunity to spend more time with a goddess like her. 

There’s Magic Between Us by Jillian Maria

A diehard city girl, 16-year-old Lydia Barnes is reluctant to spend a week in her grandma’s small town. But hidden beneath Fairbrooke’s exterior of shoddy diners and empty farms, there’s a forest that calls to her. In it, she meets Eden: blunt, focused, and fascinating. She claims to be hunting fae treasure, and while Lydia laughs it off at first, it quickly becomes obvious that Eden’s not joking-magic is real.

Lydia joins the treasure hunt, thrilled by all the things it offers her. Things like endless places in the forest to explore and a friendship with Eden that threatens to blossom into something more. But even as she throws herself into her new adventure, some questions linger. Why did her mom keep magic a secret? Why do most of the townspeople act like the forest is evil? It seems that, as much as Lydia would like to pretend otherwise, not everything in Fairbrooke is as bright and easy as a new crush…

Fire and Flight (ElfQuest series) by Wendy and Richard Pini

The forest-dwelling elves called the Wolfriders are burnt out of their ancestral home by vengeful humans. Betrayed by cowardly trolls, the elfin band, led by Cutter, Blood of Ten Chiefs, must cross the Burning Waste to find a haven they’ve never seen before. Can the Wolfriders survive? If they do, what surprises await them at Sorrow’s End?

Fledgling by Octavia E. Butler

This is the story of an apparently young, amnesiac girl whose alarmingly unhuman needs and abilities lead her to a startling conclusion: She is in fact a genetically modified, 53-year-old vampire. Forced to discover what she can about her stolen former life, she must at the same time learn who wanted-and still wants-to destroy her and those she cares for and how she can save herself.

Final Draft by Riley Redgate

Laila Piedra doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and definitely doesn’t sneak into the 21-and-over clubs on the Lower East Side. The only sort of risk Laila enjoys is the peril she writes for the characters in her stories: epic sci-fi worlds full of quests, forbidden love, and robots. Her creative writing teacher has always told her she has a special talent. But three months before graduation, Laila’s number one fan is replaced by Nadiya Nazarenko, a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist who sees nothing at all special about Laila’s writing.

A growing obsession with gaining Nazarenko’s approval–and fixing her first-ever failing grade–leads to a series of unexpected adventures. Soon Laila is discovering the psychedelic highs and perilous lows of nightlife, and the beauty of temporary flings and ambiguity. But with her sanity and happiness on the line, Laila must figure out if enduring the unendurable really is the only way to greatness.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their tiny snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. But as Kyra starts to struggle with her bipolar disorder, Corey’s family moves away. Worried about what might happen in her absence, Corey makes Kyra promise that she’ll stay strong during the long, dark winter.

Then, just days before Corey is to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated–and confused, because Kyra said she wouldn’t hurt herself. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying Kyra’s death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she’s a stranger.

The further Corey investigates–and the more questions she asks–the greater her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets–chilling secrets. Can she piece together the truth about Kyra’s death and survive her visit?

You can also view this list on the shelf on our Goodreads, or visit Bookshop.org and check out this list in our affiliate shop! Note: due to the difficulty of differentiating a pan characters versus a bi character unless which they are is explicitly identified in canon, we have put bi and pan characters on joint lists – so these lists linked are bisexual and/or pansexual character lists.

What are your favorite books with pansexual and panromantic characters?

[andorerso]

A YEAR IN FICS - 2023

I'm a little late this year but I wasn't gonna miss out on my favorite tradition. Here we go!

you fit me better than my favorite sweater: Jyn has a gift for Cassian for Christmas, but she's worried about his reaction. (1/1) Written for the Rebelcaptain Trees exchange

give me a lifetime and then fifty more: Cassian comes home after a prolonged trip and only wants to see his family. (1/1) Written for the Rebelcaptain Trees exchange

i think i'm falling back in love with you: Twelve years after the last time they saw each other, childhood best friends Jyn and Cassian cross paths once more... (1/1) Modern AU.

Blood Red Rose: 1920, London. An unknown creature dubbed 'the Beast' is terrorizing the streets at night. Vampire hunter Jyn Erso and recently turned vampire Cassian Andor might just be the city's only hope to catch the monster... (23/27) chapter 23 written in 2023

let the cat out of the bag: Jyn's cat really likes her new fuck buddy. Jyn's not quite okay with this. (2/2) Modern AU. chapter 2 written in 2023 for a prompt

don't say you love me: Jyn's been in love with Cassian for eight years, but she never thought he felt the same. Right? Things get a little interesting when he asks her to be his fake girlfriend for a weekend... (3/6) Modern AU. Written for the Rogue One Crew exchange

objection, your honor: Cassian Andor hasn’t lost a case in two years, but what he doesn’t know is that neither has she. And Jyn decides he needs to be knocked down a peg or two.It’s so much more satisfying to win as the underdog. OR, Jyn and Cassian are rival divorce lawyers who also sometimes hook up. This can only end well, right? (1/2) Modern AU.

but will you return? i came looking for you: She didn’t need a weapon, she would slaughter them all with her bare hands. She just needed a location. (1/1) Written for the Rebelcaptain's Whumptober 2023

fear conditioning: There was something wrong with Cassian. Something that made him look at her like she was a monster. (1/1) Written for the Rebelcaptain's Whumptober 2023

left behind: Rule number one: you didn’t fight a horde. You ran. (1/1) Zombie AU. Written for the Rebelcaptain's Whumptober 2023

tragedy in your blood: If she pretends it’s not happening, if she pretends she’s somewhere else, safe and warm in Cassian’s arms, it’s not real, right? (1/1) Major Character Death warning. Written for the Rebelcaptain's Whumptober 2023

Amas Veritas: Jyn's a young witch who's just trying to keep her head down. But when Orson Krennic returns to town years after he allegedly killed her father, she can't help feeling like this is her chance to get some payback. What's supposed to be a harmless hex quickly turns deadly, and Jyn must now make sure no one ever finds out what she did or risk going to prison. But the pull she feels towards Cassian Andor, the private investigator the Krennics have hired complicates matters, and it doesn't help that she's sworn off love years ago due to a nasty love curse that sits upon her family. On top of it all, Krennic's ghost might be haunting her... This Halloween is shaping up to be the worst one Jyn's ever had. (6/7) Practical Magic AU. chapter 6 written in 2023

so much for stardust: Nobody would be surprised that Galen Erso’s daughter and Director Krennic’s ward liked to do things the unconventional way. OR, Jyn grows up on Coruscant but that doesn't mean she won't fight the Empire (1/1) Written for the Rebelcaptain Secret Santa exchange

Prompts, requests and drabbles:

College AU

I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere

Total works: 15 (12 new ones)

Total wordcount: 72 494

Yeah, not as good as in previous years, but I was expecting that. Still better than I thought it would be so I'm quite satisfied! These little fandom events helped tremendously <3

[simulation-machine]

PROOF THAT I AM ALIVE

Look! I re-did the Kibo apartment! I also made Parker (unpictured) join the Computer Club and got them Bo-Bae, the adorable princess that is by @pugownedplaysthesims-blog (the Birman kitty made in May 2023).

The Kibo apartment is the first of five lots I'm completely re-decorating for teen years, and while I'm kind of excited because each place is going to have very different vibes, and vibes that I don't plan on utilizing in my legacy home at all, it's going to take roughly a billion years.

So, the next week or so is going to be screenies of that process, and once that's done, I'll be back to playing the Orsons.

Health + mom + life update (all positive!) behind the cut:

I'm basically totally fine. I get winded very easily and wake up congested af but that also might be being late-30s and living in a state that is the always-winter version of Narnia

My mom was finally allowed to return home this afternoon! It took so long to figure out what was causing her to have allergic reactions and heart freakouts, but they did it, and she's feeling better! Once I'm totally okay, I'll be visiting her probably next week

Also, on Thursday, I'm turning 37 years old (!!!). At this point in life, birthdays are little more than an excuse to eat Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast and the longest bubble bath ever, but my partner did get me a bunch of edibles and will be making me butter chicken as a birthday meal (!!!!! he's so good at cooking btw)

School so far has genuinely been rad as heck, one of the classes I'm taking is basically just taking a bunch of cognitive tests, submitting the results, and writing papers? EASY. So glad to be done with generals tbqh

[bigmouthlass]

@sam-is-my-safe-word

Okay, you asked for it-- my semi-organized heart-eyed rant about the glory that is Dean Winchester.

First of all, he is almost inhumanly gorgeous. Like, Michaelangelo would've wanted to sculpt him but might not have felt himself worthy of the job. Not just in a generally attractive sense, but . . . my celebrity lust objects include Ewan McGregor and Chris Evans. I have a type and Mr. Ackles fits it almost exactly.

Secondly, Dean and I have a few things in common. Raised in poverty by an overwhelmed and undersupported single parent, forever feeling overshadowed by our more intelligent and more accepted younger siblings, didn't fit in with our peers or really thrive in school despite being constantly told how intelligent we were and how we had so much potential. We're both oldest siblings, both Aquariuses (Aquarii? his birthday's the 24th and mine's the 28th), and both of us had adult worries when we should've been preoccupied with friends and grades. (In the interests of fairness-- my family wasn't nearly as badly off, my sister wasn't so young she needed babysat, and I didn't handle being the mature one nearly as well as Dean did.)

Thirdly, there's a lot about Ackles's performance that just rings true to me. Constantly assuring himself that his father's the greatest man ever despite knowing full fucking well he wasn't, having a complicated relationship with his own exploitation, even the way he's trained himself to live without hopes or dreams. The cognitive dissonance he uses just to keep himself from going crazy feels correct in a way that in Sam sometimes rings false.

There's a bit in Orson Scott Card's afterward to his novelization of The Abyss, in praise of Ed Harris's performance as Bud Brigman. "From the moment he steps on screen, Harris's Bud is alert and alive. Harris gave Bud gestures, mannerisms, turns of phrase. Harris opened up Bud's soul for me." That's what Ackles does for Dean, and it's frustrating that, because professional awards are allergic to fantasy fiction that's not Game Of Thrones, he never got the recognition he deserved.

And Castiel called it in his famous final scene-- Dean's mistakes are made from a place of genuine caring. Even when he lies, it's out of a sense of protectiveness most of the time. Dean doesn't beat himself up over the enemies he can't defeat; he kills himself over the people he can't save.

A quick side-note-- I think people read a lot of Dean's subtler mannerisms as repressed bi- or homosexuality. IMO, those habits aren't exclusive to people who grew up queer in a queer-hating environment (John being a child of the 50's and ex-military, it wouldn't shock me at all if he was the type of father who made it clear men in same sex relationships was Not Fucking Acceptable). What they are characteristic of is someone who lives in eternal doubt of their right to just exist, and that's Dean all the way to the fingernails. Ever since he was four, the question, "Why Mom and not me?" would be quivering in the back of his mind. The incident with the Shtriga when John blames Dean for his own failure as a parent (which by the way if Dean had fired that shotgun he would've hit Sam, fuck you John Winchester you should never have left them alone in the first fucking place) and how Dean never accepts any kind of rebuttal on the subject of guilt-- Dean's defined by survivor's guilt and an eternal sense of failure, and his Hunting life can be read as an open courtship of death because he sees himself as an uncorrected mistake.

I could go on but those are the high points. Course a lot of those same points could be made about Sam. The ridiculously awesome thing about Supernatural is both the leads -- and this can be applied to most of the supporting characters, just about everybody is perfectly cast -- embody their characters so perfectly, everybody can catch something to care passionately about.

[realhousewifeofcoruscant]

Chapter 2

Notes: I still don't have a title. I also don't know how holoprojectors work so just go with it...pretend what I've written makes perfect sense in cannon. Chapter 3 will be out in a couple days!

Orson Krennic x Fem!reader

Summary: Rebel gangs have been kidnapping family members of imperial officers. Several high ranking officers have had their wives or children taken in recent weeks. The Empire is trying to track the rebels down and rescue the victims. Orson is incredibly worried his wife will become the next victim.

Word Count: 905 words

Warnings: Mentions of murder/death. No smut in this chapter, just some angst/comfort between reader and Orson.

Read Chapter one here

Chapter Two

Orson was gone for three hours. Three long, agonizing hours. A million scenarios swirled around in your head. You kept thinking about Admiral Sloane's wife and son. They must be terrified. Admiral Sloane was probably losing his mind with anxiety and grief. He was such a sweet man, he and his family didn't deserve this.

Orson said the rebels planned to continue the kidnappings until their demands were met. What demands? Who would they target next? You began pacing around your quarters picking at you finger nails.

Finally you decided to call your friend Zanta. She was married to the captain of the Star Destroyer Manticore which was currently stationed in the mid rim sector. Perhaps she had heard what was going on. You needed someone to talk to before your anxiety morphed into a full on panic attack.

You sat down at the kitchen counter and pulled out your holoprojector. You dialed her comlink and within a moment her blueish gray form was projected in front of you.

“I was wondering when you were going to call me!” Zanta said teasingly.

“So you’ve heard then?” You asked.

“It’s all anyone is talking about here aboard the Manticore! Kidnapping an admirals family is absolutely ludicrous! I knew the rebels were scum but this is a new low.” Zanta huffed. “Anyway, I’m sure you know way more than they are telling us. What has Orson said about the situation?” She inquired.

“He left three hours ago for a meeting with Tarkin. He’s not comeback yet. I was hoping you had heard something beyond the initial report…I’m going insane sitting here alone. He forbade me from leaving our quarters!” You said slightly exasperated.

“That seems a bit extreme! You’re aboard the largest battle station in the galaxy! There is nowhere safer!” She chuckled.

“I know, but this is Orson we are talking about. He would put a tracking device on me if he thought he could get away with it.” You laughed.

Just then the door to your quarters opened and Orson strode in. He looked relived to see you sitting at the counter, as if he half expected you to not be there. You met his gaze and gave him a small smile. His expression was grave.

"Orson's just come back. I need to sign off. I will contact you soon. Stay safe, Zanta." You clicked your holoprojector off and jumped up from your chair.

"I've been going mad in your absence!" you squealed. "Tell me everything! What happened? How is Admiral Sloane holding up? Have they found the rebels responsible for this? What are the rebels' demands?" you were nearly breathless after your questioning.

Orson said nothing. He sat down on the couch and motioned for you to come and join him. He stuck his hand out for you to grab and he pulled you onto his lap. His expression was vacant, distant and a little sad.

"Are you alright, my love?" You asked in a whisper.

"The details...I can't bear to think about it.'' Orson said expressionless.

You stroked his cheek gently with your thumb. He was clearly shaken by what he'd learned in the meeting. After a few quiet moments he met your gaze. "His family is gone." He said matter-of-factly. "Their bodies were discovered in a trash compactor on Jakol."

"What?!" you screamed. "Oh my...how awful! Maker! Poor Admiral Sloane!" You said as hot tears began to form at the edges of your eyes.

"The rebels sent the emperor a list of demands, as well as a list of potential next targets." Orson's eyes flashed with anger. "You and Tarkin's daughter are on the list of targets." Orson's voice was dripping with venom. "The emperor refuses to negotiate or engage with the rebels. He's confident the Empire will track them down..as am I...but in the meantime..." his voice trailed off.

"In the meantime what?" You probed.

Orson grabbed your firmly around your waist and shifted you to sit next to him. "I think its best if you go to Coruscant. You can stay in our home there until these rebels are caught. I can't have you in open space with this threat looming." He wasn't looking at you. He knew you would protest.

"Absolutely not!" you said firmly. "Surely I am safer here with you. Please, Ori don't send me away." you begged.

He stood up and began pacing the room. "Did you not hear me? Admiral Sloane's family is dead. His wife is dead. His son is dead." Orson's voice was getting louder with every word. "You will go to Coruscant. End of discussion!" He barked.

You stood up and walked over to him. "Sweetheart.." you began "I don't mean to be argumentative, but I'm scared. I don't want to be alone on Coruscant with these rebels running around." You grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I only feel safe with you." you whispered clutching his hand in yours.

Orson's gaze softened. He pulled you into a tight embrace and buried his face in your neck. He inhaled your scent deeply and then spoke. "I can't lose you. I can't. I can't. I can't" his voice was soft, as if he was quietly begging the galaxy not to take you from him.

You clung to him tightly. You knew he was only trying to keep you safe. You wanted him to feel safe too, so you agreed to go to Coruscant.

[deadpanwalking]

Introduction by Anthony L'Abbate, Preservation Manager, Moving Image Department and Caroline Yeager, Associate Curator, Moving Image Department

The announcement that Orson Welles’s missing (and unfinished) film Too Much Johnson had been found and preserved, sent a pleasant shock wave through cinema circles in 2013. Discovered with a group of other film materials in a warehouse in Pordenone, Italy, in 2003, Too Much Johnson survived by a quirk of fate. Mario Catto, an enthusiastic cinephile who often collaborated with Le Giornate del Cinema Muto (a film festival devoted solely to screening silent films), was told by a family friend about a crate full of potentially dangerous old film that had been abandoned years before in his shipping warehouse. Catto suggested that his friend donate it to Cinemazero, a highly regarded film society in Pordenone. Cinemazero accepted the films and began the laborious and years-long task of examining and identifying the mixture of 35mm and 16mm film elements on both safety and nitrate based film stocks. The films turned out to be the works of Orson Welles.

Prominent Welles scholar Ciro Giorgini positively identified nine nitrate reels as being Welles’s lost film Too Much Johnson. A tenth nitrate reel was decomposing and it was not actually verified as being part of the film until it was sent to a laboratory for preservation in 2013. Cinemazero recognized that the nitrate reels of Too Much Johnson needed long-term conservation, and so, nearly ten years after Catto first saw the crate, the nitrate positive work print of Too Much Johnson was consigned to their colleagues at the Cineteca del Friuli, also in Pordenone. Preserving Too Much Johnson now became the crucial issue.

Because the film was both nitrate and American, funding for full preservation would prove difficult to obtain in Italy. In January 2013, Cineteca del Friuli contacted the George Eastman Museum to discuss preserving Too Much Johnson, as well as providing permanent conservation for the 35mm nitrate master. The Eastman Museum agreed to accept the nitrate film and through an emergency grant arranged by the National Film Preservation Foundation, the nine identified reels of Too Much Johnson would be preserved. The tenth, decomposing reel, was preserved separately and joined the other reels prior to the film’s world premiere.

Produced by the Mercury Theatre, Too Much Johnson was meant to introduce each act of William Gillette’s stage play of the same name. Even in its unfinished state, the film shows all the hallmarks of Welles’s cinematic genius. Starring Joseph Cotten, Edgar Barrier, Arlene Francis and other Mercury Theatre actors, it is a lively, vibrant, funny, and exciting homage to silent film comedy and stands on its own as a cinematic gem. The new score provided by Philip C. Carli, was inspired by Paul Bowles’s score for the Mercury Theatre stage production.

[enaelyork]

[Headcanon] Orson Krennic Past life ~

I've always felt frustrated that we don't know much about Krennic's past. So, as always, I felt compelled to think about it.

This is my point on view only, i'm so sorry. [Thats inclued Galen Erso's friendship]

🌔He did not come from a dysfunctional family. He grew up in a loving home where the constant anxiety of surviving hovered over their heads. He no longer counts the number of times he caught his parents calculating on the credits how they were going to make it through the month by hugging each other.

🌔I think Lexrul is an extremely poor planet where survival is difficult. Therefore, I am convinced that Krennic experienced extreme poverty. Although his parents both worked, their salaries were probably not enough to support them. He knows what it means to be hungry, deprived, sleepy and cold. I'm even sure he ended up on the street.

🌔It was in these extremely urgent situations that Krennic understood that he should not expect anything from others. That the problem with being on the wrong side of the line is that everyone around them is too and has a good excuse not to reach out to help them out. He comes to the conclusion that to succeed in life, he must first think about himself, his interests and no longer rely on anyone.

🌔He was always very smart and his parents quickly realized it. Living in such conditions pushes us to adapt quickly and well. They placed all their hopes in him when they sent him to take the entrance exams for Republic Futur Program. It was with this immense pressure on his shoulders and the deep conviction of being better than everyone that he grew up. Perhaps it was when he no longer believed in anything, when he and his family found themselves on the streets again, that he learned that he was accepted. It must have been a consecration that he perceived as a sign of destiny.

🌔Although he keeps in mind all the sacrifices his family made to get to this point. Krennic realizes that his life is light years away from that of adolescents his age and falls into all excesses. Money? Not a problem ! He is intelligent and cunning enough to blend in and manage to make enough friends to not worry about what he consumes. Its natural charm does the rest.

🌔The unlikely friendship he forms with the young Galen Erso is what is most authentic in his life. He won't admit it, but the way others taunted the math genius made him come to his defense. Galen will never know that if no one bothers him since he met Krennic it is because the latter obtained peace by beating a leader of the program in a clandestine betting game in a bar in Brentaal IV. (And maybe also by giving a few well-placed blows.)

🌔Everyone tries to see the best in the other. The complementarity of their relationship makes them a formidable duo. Galen often lectures Krennic on the way he acts and tries to restrain him when he is too impulsive. He teaches him to use his intelligence and his ability to bind people together while Orson teaches him how he must understand the world in which he lives and to sort out his parasitic thoughts.

🌔Galen's naivety and sensitivity touch him in a certain way. Sometimes he wants to preserve them, telling himself that he never had the chance to be able to do so in his life. Like a window open to a world that he will never know but that he can contemplate discreetly.

🌔Many people on the show wonder how a guy as quiet and shy as Galen Erso could be around the rambunctious and insufferable Orson Krennic. Galen, above all, thinks that no one sees what lies behind the ice cap that Krennic has erected around him and feels honored to be the only one to have a glimpse of it.

🌔Besides, he has already caught Krennic doing a good deed. Several times. It’s like a carefully kept secret that seals their deep friendship.

🌔Galen understands that Krennic is bluffing about his life and tries to help him discreetly. Not out of pity. But he believes that Krennic has proven enough to him that he has a good heart to strive to make his life better.

🌔From the moment he left the program to move up the ranks, he made sure his family didn't want for anything. He never mentions it, but his parents have had a solid roof over their heads since the day money stopped being an issue for Orson.

🌔He, more than any officer/employee of the Republic, is aware of how lucky he is to be where he is. He will not give up his place to anyone and will do everything possible to be worthy of this destiny that awaits him.

🌔Krennic wants to be first everywhere. All the time. He doesn't just want to be a part of things, he wants to be the best at everything he does. He probably only lives through the eyes of those who can bring him this prestige. He constantly needs reassurance about his performance because he is such a perfectionist that nothing ever satisfies him. I think that when you have fallen too far down the social ladder (and this is his case), the need to climb back up is no longer enough. You have to constantly be on top of the world and observe the universe from afar to feel safe.

🌔As a boss, Krennic is as much feared as he is appreciated. I am convinced (from my reading of Betrayal and the way Ronan describes it) that Krennic can be kind, fair and correct with his employees. He probably does it to put himself forward and obtain praise or for his performance. But whatever, the result is there.