#from all the stupid shit we had to sit with

[gguk-n]

Fading Shadow (Lando Norris x ex-Reader)

Part 2 of Last Straw Inspired by this request

Summary- Y/N moved on. Lando is still stuck, on what they had and what he lost.

{Reader's POV}

The moment I landed back home, I felt relief wash over me when I cried in my mother's arms. I had been holding on to too much, it seems. My father brought my favourite food and we ate together and we laughed together. This was the therapy I needed. My siblings weren't very happy with Lando since they had seen everything unfold on social media but they were happy to have their sister back. I was happy to be back home. I needed this, I needed my people.

I decided I needed a change of pace, a change of scenery. I had been mourning my relationship while I was still in it. Now, I was a new me, I was going to do everything I wanted.

I applied at the company I always wanted to work at but due to there being no vacancies I was assigned a job in a different country and I was ready to take on the world. I knew Lando would never search for me, he never truly loved me but I still wanted to leave. I needed a fresh start.

{Lando's POV}

The silence after the break up was exactly what I needed, or so I thought. I could leave as I wished. I could go out whenever I wanted. I didn't have to explain myself to anyone. It's so much better to be single then to be tied down.

I didn't think I would ever miss Y/N, but I did. I remember exactly when I missed her for the first time; it was after a difficult race and I had finish decently with the shitty cards I had and I just wanted someone to tell me how well I did; but there was no one; no one who knew what I wanted to hear. I felt so alone even when I was surrounded by hundreds of people for the first time in a long time.

The second time I missed her was when I was stood on top of the top step of the podium. I wanted to have her around so I could share my highs with her. I didn't get a 'do you wanna go out to celebrate?' like the last two times and I aired her both time to party with random girls. Right now, I was in the club celebrating my third win of my career and season and I felt empty and alone. Not even the alcohol helped.

The house we lived in was a stark reminder of the time we spent together. All our dates we had. All the times she would teach me how to cook but we would always end up with a big mess and half cooked or burnt food since I would get distracted. In retrospect, I loved every second of it even though I never admitted it then. I love all the time we spent together or the laugh she would emit when I messed up. I missed her and I wish she was here; I was too stupid to admit it then but I do now.

Oscar was getting sick and tired of me using his phone to check on Y/N's social media accounts since she had blocked me every where. I would end up borrowing the other driver's phone to check, just in case. Until one day, her account stopped showing up for Oscar too. I went through almost everyone on the paddock's phone to see if she had blocked my friends. Turns out, she had deactivated her social media accounts; I realised that after one of the gossip pages posted about her deactivating her profiles, across all the platforms.

I would wake up from dreams about her and I would fall asleep to the thought of her. No woman interested me anymore; I wish I was this loyal when we were dating, when she could see that I loved her, not now when she couldn't even see I had changed.

My PR team was losing their shit when I tweeted that. I had to sit through a stupid meeting after everything. It was miracle I didn't start crying in the middle of the meeting.

People had started to notice I guess, since Carlos approached me. "Cabron, what's up?" he asked while I was lying on my couch after media day. "Nothing" I hummed. "I fucked up right?" I asked. "I can't say no" Carlos said. I laughed painfully. "I didn't know how good I had it until it was all gone. I'm an ass and I deserve everything I'm getting" I cried. Carlos comforted me, hugging me tightly. "I just wish she would talk to me, at least once. So, that I could show her that I've changed. I really have Carlos. I love her so much, it hurts" I cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lando" he said patting my back.

There's a saying, You don't know what you've got until it's gone. I was living that nightmare and I will never stop living it.

[xetlynn]

Twilight- Mortality: Chapter Four, Voices

(Alice X Reader X Jasper)

[Three] [Four] [Five]

I wake up harshly from the sun shining on my face. I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I was laying in Bella's room on her bed. I stare outside the window for a moment. Then turning to check the time. It was 11, my eyes widen. "Shit!" I hurry off the bed, running down stairs and into my room.

"Woah, slow down! Slow down!" My dad yells after me. I say a quick apology after closing my door. I throw on a long sleeve and cargo pants. Trying to do my hair quickly. Knowing it's going to look a hot mess either way.

I grab my shoes on my way out, putting them on as I walk. Looking stupid as I do so. "Be careful, [Name]. Jesus." Charlie scoffs from the couch, his eyes on the tv. "Sorry, I'm late to meet up with Billy and Sam." I grab my keys and helmet. "Jacket, [Name]." He ignores what I said. I roll my eyes, heading back to my room and grabbing the stupid leather jacket. "Tell them I say hi." He takes a drink of his beer as I leave the house.

I throw the jacket on, putting the helmet on, knowing this will securely ruin my hair for the day. I start the bike and speed off.

I get to the Rez, eyes already on me from the people who stand outside or sit in their cars. Just like always. Always curious now.

Not negative like it used to be in my vampire days. I pull into Billy's driveway, kicking the stand down and leaving my helmet on the bike. I jog up to the front door. Knocking annoyingly loud.

The door swings open, "girl, calm down." Billy huffs, moving over so I can walk in. Every Sunday we've been doing these lunches so Billy and Sam can gather information about Hybrids. Learn more for their people. I agreed after the fight with the newborns. Sam and I sort of becoming friends. More, friendly allies. But it's something more than before. Nothing without another pair of eyes though.

"Sorry I'm late, had a last minute date last night. Got drunk as-" I pause as I catch the fact that I'm in front of my dad's best friend. "I got drunk off the fun vibes I had." I attempt to fix what was already broken. He snorts out a laugh. "I'm hiding a lot from your dad, hun. You getting drunk is definitely not my top priority." He leads me into his kitchen, Sam already sitting there. Writing something down. "Finally, you're here." He comments, not looking up at either of us. Just finishing a sentence on the paper.

"Yeah, yeah. Where's the food I was promised." I sit down on one of the chairs, opposite to both of them. "Eaten, you're 30 minutes late." Sam simply tells me, my jaw drops, shocked. "Go get her the dang food." Billy nudges him, my expression changes immediately. The large man sighs, getting up and getting my food from the microwave that sat there to keep warm.

"Thank you, Billy." I nod my head to him before digging into the amazing food. "No thank you to the person who just placed it before you?" Sam questions me with an attitude. I glance up with food in my mouth. Acting like I'm thinking for a moment before shaking my head.

"No." I mutter.

"All right, you two." Billy stops us from continuing. "[Name], has anything new happened?" He asks me, I stare at my food. Wondering if I should bring up the eye thing. Everything has been good lately. So... amazing. "I, I don't know." I shrug my shoulders, finishing up my food. I was hungry after last night. I'm grateful we don't get hungover but it definitely leaves some sort of effect. "You seem to know something." Sam says.

I glare at him then throw my head back. "It's small, means nothing probably." They stare at me to just tell them what it is. "At my sister's wedding my eyes changed color. Don't think it happened again though so. Nothing to worry about." I stand up, taking care of my plate. They didn't respond so I turn around to see them sharing glances with one another.

"Don't tell me it's something that's going to cause me pain. I'd rather die." I hide my face in my hands, throwing my head back dramatically. "No, we- We don't know what it means. Sit down." Billy sighs out, pointing to the chair I was just sitting in.

"Have you been doing anything different? Your diet? Anything?" Sam asks in a slightly aggressive tone, my body stiffens uncomfortable. I've been eating human food along with animal blood. Nothing truly different. I shake my head. "I mean I haven't been able to shift into my wolf form since the fight with the newborns." I bite my bottom lip. Not thinking of what else it could be.

"Why?" Billy tilts his head to the side. "It's uncomfortable. The feeling of being a wolf, also my clothes ripping. I don't have the money to keep dealing with that shit." I cross my arms, leaning back in my seat. Sam snorts out a laugh. "Do you know what color they were changing to?" He asks. I shake my head. "Just a lighter color than the contacts I usually wear." I tell them simply.

Then I hear voices outside, they were almost as clear as day but muffled from the houses structure. "I'm surprised they... along." I hear Embry's voice. I scrunch my eyebrows. Not listening to the two in front of me anymore. "I mean Sam's never.... [Name] just doesn't...." I can't make out what he's saying but I know that was Jacob. "We used to be best friends. I defintely..." I stand up suddenly, looking outside but I don't see anyone. I huff. "[Name]?"

"I'll be right back." I put a hand up, running outside. Where are they and why are their voices so loud. Like it's in my head. Like when I was a wolf speaking to Sam. I search the outside, I see in the tree line there's Jacob, Embry, and Seth but in their wolf forms. I furrow my eyebrows.

Wondering if they just turned or something. "Is their lunch over?" Seth asks and my eyes widen. "Why does she look scared?" Seth's wolf form goes to walk closer but I back up. "I don't know." Jacob says, his eyes piercing into mine. Then his own eyes widen when he sees I looked at him when he spoke. "It's like she can understand us." Embry makes a joke but Jacob huffs at him.

"Woah, what the hell." Embry puts two and two together. I begin to panic and make my way back inside the house. The three were yelling after me to stop but I don't listen. I grab my keys. "I have to go." I say, heading back to the door but Sam stops me. "What happened?"

"My stomach hurts. Gotta use the bathroom." I lie. "Just use it here." Billy interjects but I shake my head. "I need the comfort of my own. Sorry to cut this short." I put my head down and leave the house. Rushing to my bike. Quickly starting it. I look back to see Jacob running towards me but I already sped off. Holding my helmet in my hand. Putting it on as I drove on the road.

"Man, why can't I get a damn break!" I yell, speeding even more on my bike. Gripping the handles. Only slowing down when I know I'm getting close to home. Once I pull into the drive way I turn the engine off, harshly kicking up the kick stand and throwing my helmet to the ground. I start kicking the dirt. I feel my body get hot, the sweat sticking to my jacket so that was the next thing I ripped off.

I want to scream but I don't want my dad coming outside. The only thing that made it worse was the rain that began to fall. My body got so hot it was steaming due to the coldness of the droplets that fell on me. I clench my fists, angrily storming into the backyard then into the woods.

I make sure I'm far enough in the trees and begin swinging at anything I could. Breaking off tree branches and swinging those into rocks, breaking them like they were fragile glass. I was seething. I couldn't calm myself down. I didn't even understand why I was so angry. I feel myself getting hotter as it goes on though. The rain overstimulating me. I throw my long sleeve shirt off, leaving me in my sports bra.

My chest was heaving up and down like I had just ran a mile, it didn't look like it was calming down any time soon either. I think of everything that's been going on lately. I try to think of Alice and Jasper to bring my spirits up but nothing was working. I knew what was going to happen so I took my pants off. I'm just glad I got myself in the woods or I'd look like a fucking weirdo. I still do.

I let my instincts take over and I transform into a wolf. I snarl at the air, I sense two figures coming up on me and I growl turning around. I immediately stop myself seeing it's Alice and Jasper. I was still breathing heavily but seeing them made something in me soften. They were not even cautious as they came up to me. "Hey, it's okay." Jasper mutters, my wolf form whimpers, backing away from them. "You can come back as you, I brought a blanket. I had a vision, I knew something was wrong." Alice lifts a blanket that came from my bed. I close my eyes, calming myself down enough to transform back into my normal body. She instantly covers me and kisses my face.

Jasper grabs my clothes from the ground.

He gives me my shirt first and I throw it on while still covering my lower half. He then hands me my pants and I give the blanket back over to Alice as I pull them up. "What happened?" Jasper asks me, I let out a breath.

"Another stupid Hybrid bullshit thing!" I loudly exclaim. I feel a cold hand move up and down my back, soothing me. "Sorry, it's that eye thing. I guess it meant something." I rolled my eyes, taking my blanket back. Rain was still pouring down on us as we walked to my house.

"What did it mean?" Alice raises a brow. "Means that I can't stop being a wolf or my eyes will change colors and I can hear the pack when they're in their wolf form and I am not. It also means that my anger somehow intensifies which I didn't know could be even worse than it already is." I tell them in an annoyed tone. The feeling of wanting to throw things around came back and I took a deep breath. "I'm so over finding out new shit every few months. I would like to live a normal immortal existence but that's too much to ask for." I snort a laugh, not believing that anything I just said is my actual reality.

"You will eventually. The first couple of years is finding who you are. Certain things. It gets better." We stand in front of my bed room window. I lean against the house, the rain sprinkling down on us. "That's good to know I guess." I sigh out, holding onto the blanket, covering myself with it.

"I knew it's been too good for comfort. Wishful thinking that we could be good for a while." I want to slide down to the ground but Jasper pulls me into his arms. "Let's get you inside, my darlin." He whispers in my ear, Alice opens the window and she takes my blanket so I can climb inside.

I didn't notice them giving each other glances before climbing inside themselves house themselves.

—————————————

This one is shorter than usual lately.

There is sort of a reason for that. The eye thing is just another thing to stress [Name] out. It’s not going to be a huge plot line.

Also super excited for this book. You guys are going to hate me for the ending but teehee :)

Much love.

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A&J M.L.

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[u-know-too-much]

Just an opinion. Although our school is famous for being a powerhouse for really smart and talented kids, I feel like it relies on the raw talent of the student rather than genuinely nurturing them or at least it's very selective with those it wants to nurture (which are usually the already exceptional kids). Which in turn is what makes it famous and gives it its reputation, and gets parents to enroll their talented kids in. It's not apparent bc well, sometimes, the only thing we qanna do is get the tf outta here lmao.

Rarely does it have qualified teachers that specialise in that particular subject, they just get who they can and teach to get it over with, training for comps are rarely formal, we have to sustain and improve ourselves on our own for said comps, then they get to claim all the credit "school that houses great future writers" or some shit. And then they give us the obviojs excuse of letting us be "independent" bc it "prepares us for college", how about let's do simulations first before the actual thing.

I also got one failed grade and one low grade bc of minor subjects. Now they're going to ruin my average. How am I supposed to compete to bigger, smarter students.

It's so tiring, I'm wasting so much time, I'm slowly burning out.

Our school can go burn down, with all my horrid classmates in it. Whatever prowess and prestige it had when I first enrolled here is nothing but rubble now that I'm almost leaving. Now go and watch them improve this trainwreck of a place after we leave :)

[drabbles-of-writing]

Love that Terra clearly had the worst possible understanding of Eda and Raine (thinking they wouldn’t team up to fight her as kids, that Raine wasn’t smart enough to lie through their teeth until the Day of Unity, etc) but even SHE knows damn well those two are absolute fucking losers for each other. Can you imagine how insufferable they had to be off-screen for Terra to openly mock it with zero hesitation. What did she have to bear witness to

[storywestistrash]

i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans

[nicoscheer]

Ending it with Miles 😭🫶🏽🥹 we’re gonna cry so bad.

But also I love this so much cause like obviously the band and the management heard all the hateful ‘fans’ back when they had to cancel Marlay Park because Alex dared to get laryngitis and this; giving them not only one but 3/4 shows with Miles and an access code is so hilarious to me cause like yeah you very fuckin nasty and disgusting but here ya go ya lil shits now what do you say (pretty please) like this makes all those haters look sooo incredibly dumb and childish (like no patience at all obviously they need time to schedule and arrange all the venues and what not, like have some faith in them just lean back and trust) anyways long story short love this move

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I’m having a mental breakdown

Miles via email

[sailor-aviator]

.

[piplupod]

one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????

so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

began sobbing as soon as i got home so i dont think i can show up to class like this lol

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

god im so fucking tired of it all.

i stressed for days and days about this stupid fucking field trip I was supposed to go on, there was a fuck ton of difficulty finding me a ride home and I had to get a friend’s parent to take me and I rushed around getting my stupid permission slip signed…

Only for my teacher to tell me day-of that I’m not able to go because I lost my fucking teacher permission slip.

So now I’m sitting at school with a backpack full of field trip stuff and I had to tell my mom I’m not gonna be going, and it was gonna be really fun we were gonna go shopping and we were gonna see a movie and it was going to be awesome, plus I fucking adore long bus rides and I had my AirPods charged and I was so goddamn EXCITED.

but now I just feel like bashing my head into a pole.

[gender-euphowrya]

googles what kills houseplants not so i know what to avoid but so i can commit premeditated botanical murder

[thetriangletattoo]

what is it about showers and solving every problem you had during your teenage years

[sheerioswifties]

.

[floral-hex]

Another night I feel like my world is ending, so I went for a drive. Tried to sleep earlier. Nothing doing. Took a couple antianxieties. Surprisingly, not much help. Made me a little sleepy, cried a little, maybe a little more relaxed, but still…. blegh.

So, I’ve got my beeg drink, a podcast going, and I’m sitting in the Kroger parking lot because it’s 4:30+ in the morning and I need to see actual humans walking around. I don’t know how to explain it. Seeing other people continue on with their lives helps calm my doomer anxiety.

This sucks.

[29121996]

.

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.