#from what i can tell there doesnt even seem to be an “official” ship name for rat and mole and.....

[inthewiiildwoods]

from the little of the tag i've skimmed it doesnt seem like the shipping scene is very robust here. most art also seems to be of the non-human variety. i suppose i must fulfil my duty as The One Guy™

[yuukei-yikes]

hope you dont mind me asking this but since you seem very knowledgeable about the fandom and all i thought it was suitable

why is there so much ship content between sato kido and kano?? are they not adoptive siblings?? theres even some in semi canon (i think) contents like in anthologies too,, i mean not surprised it exists since weird people are in every fandom but its talked so casually here

with momo and hibiya too actually! because of the huge age gap you would think it wouldn't be such a casual ship but it somehow is?? as far as i seen anyways

oh man lollll nah i dont mind. fair question and it's much better to have an answer to this

im putting it under the cut bc it turned out kinda long and into a rant, and also to warn i mention the themes suggested in the ask (incest, age gaps)

basically it's no secret that in japanese media, incest and age gaps are widely normalized even today so just imagine in 2013 when kagepro was at its peak.

back then, kido and kano specifically were a WIDELY popular ship. here's the thing with the weird kano and kido (and seto too but mainly kano and kido) shipping, aside from what i said abt normalized incest and shit. kano and kido (and seto) being siblings is actually... sort of a spoiler? it's not revealed early on.

kano and kido are presented as 2 kids the same age living together and having different names. and they purposefully stop acting like siblings. SO it doesnt register until you get into their backstories. they're both adopted into the same family when theyre like... 7 or 8, and were friends before becoming siblings so people were able to use this excuse: "OHHH THEYRE MORE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS"

but like..... they live together as siblings for YEARS and to be honest im sure 99% of people watch the song mvs FIRST which u can binge in 1 afternoon and if ur watching with any sort of actual interest and attention, you WILL see kano and kido as part of the tateyama family in ayano's theory of happiness. not to mention the anime came out in 2014 which im also sure 99% of kagepro fans have seen. so to me that was always an excuse if it came from a very dedicated fan though i do understand it if it's from a casual enjoyer, like they truly didn't catch that they're siblings

when i joined the fandom i was 13, didnt know eng or japanese, and thought mekatrio childhood friends made total sense for some good 6 months into the fandom until I realised properly. a few months ago, i discovered a very close friend of mine had a kagepro phase in 2014 or something and told me he really shipped kano and kido and when i told him they're siblings he was like WHAT!!!!!!!

and another thing abt kano and kido. they're indubitably the queerest characters. THEY LOOK THE FUCKING GAYEST. there is Something abt pushing the gay characters together?? kido is constantly mistaked for a guy. kano the poor thing had ANOTHER popular ship going for him with ayano because people decided he is that way to shintaro because he actually had a crush on ayano. yeah. this was the fucking consensus with kano, shintaro and ayano. like i mentioned i DONT KNOW japanese and only ever read the translations of the novels and i also dont Know what jin was thinking when writing kano and shintaro. But. dear lord it reads fucking homosexual my dude. jin does this by accident a lot though. look at kido and momo. momo calling kido beautiful 1000 times but she's like Well as a woman i am jealous i wish i was that pretty. bruuuh ok anyways moving on Ill GET to jin again in a second.

like you said, semi official stuff like the anthologies are very heavy on this ship and also.... sorry, the manga which is an official media. is Heavily into this ship. for jin's stance on it, i am not sure. i do think he laughs it off but he NEVER intended to write them that way. in the seventh novel theres a whole bit where kido's telling kano you shouldve never hidden this from me im your sister we are family. even shintaro who is the pov ur reading from is like wow what a nice brother and sister AND THATS THE SECOND TO LAST NOVEL WHICH BY THEN THE SHIP WAS SUPER POPULAR SO TO ME THAT WAS JIN'S WAY OF REMINDING EVERYONE THEYRE SIBLINGS. personally i think jin truthfully intended to write kano and kido as siblings but doesnt care people ship them otherwise he wouldnt have had the manga written by someone who shipped them

so basically what happened. kagepro was confusing and people sometimes missed they are siblings. in japanese media its super normalized. it is 2013 so here it is also normalized in fandom spaces. fanart ensues, even official or semi official content teases it, and yeah. boom its popular

another big part of it was, EVERYONE GETS A PARTNER!!!! kagepro content has A LOT of Shipping Pieces if that makes sense. idk what to call it but like god, pixiv entries with 1 shinaya, 1 harutaka, 1 setomary.... and 1 hibiya and momo and 1 kano and kido. god awful. if any golden year kagepro fans follow me they will KNOW what im talking about.

now that i mentioned it. hibiya and momo. ough. idk man. people were properly weird with this one. because with kano and kido they at least made up a damn excuse. with hibiya and momo there was nothing. but the thing is, jin is entirely to blame here. absolutely fucking disgusting bro. unlike with kano and kido, with hibiya and momo he actively wrote it. in the third novel their chapters together or any of hibiya's chapters are actual fucking torture to read. i wont go into details if u havent read it but like there are Reasons i never recommend kagepro to people.

its good to give jin proper respect he IS the creator of my favorite characters ever in the whole wide world and the writer of the story that makes me the happiest ever in the history of life. but. that doesn't mean i dont hold him accountable for being weird as hell in his writing because he absolutely is

back in the early days of this blog i had my very own Gets Send Deaths Threats arc by some people who shipped these guys or people who were mad i criticized jin (i always suspected it was like. the same 1 or 2 people. with a lot of time in their hands) soooo honestly answering this activated my fight of flight a little bit but tbh i havent seen Any content here on tumblr (i do have everything blacklisted to hell and back) or gotten ANY rude messages here in years, so i think we're good👍

hope this was helpful and i hope ur not grossed out of kagepro though I'd understand. u kinda need a strong stomach not only for its themes but sadly kagepro does the gross anime thing animes do :(

[destinyc1020]

For 2024 I have a few wishes for the Jacob Elordi fans:

1. Create your OWN blogs. Yall pop into Austin, Z, and Tom focused blogs, say your insults and leave. If you have your own blog focused on JE you can say whatever (inults and all), quite simple tbh.

2. Im aware Jacob and Olivia have a private relationship but the way almost NONE of his fans mention her name (even casualy) and still focus on his past relationships is wild lol he is with her and him being with a woman with her background is very telling to how he is as well.

3. Z doesnt want Jacob now, I REPEAT Z doesnt want that man lol Jacob doesnt want Z either. If they wanted to be together they couldve lasted or got back together by now but havent. They didnt even last a year lol goes back to point #2 where they dont even mention his current gf bt love to ship him with Z. I guess cuz Joey is officially married they feel lik that shipped has sailed and nobody gave af about him/Kaia, but just cuz Z is THE it girl dont mean she gotta b shipped with him. She has her own mind as does he.

4. People dont care for Jacob becuase of some of his cheating "antics" but more about some of the things he said in interviews-he can come across as pretentious, ungrateful and just arrogant. Im aware he is a multideminsional person, like the rest of us, so that may not be what he is like 24/7. Again goes back to #2 where his fans ignore Olivia or just dont get why hes with her- Jacob is probably ALOT more similar to Olivia than his fans think. People can not care for his personality because a lot of the main headlines where his name is included dont paint him out to b the best, due to his own words.

5. There are enough white men in the industry that can succeed at the same time. Like folks been saying Jacob is a colead, and has seemingly been doing well in those roles tbh. But a lot of the actors his fans are comparing him to- Austin, Timmy or Tom- have done more lead roles. It dont even make sense to compare him to them cuz if they were all nominated for something they would be leads and Jacob would be a supporting. Again, dont even make sense for his fans to pit him against them.

ALL of this... 👏🏾

TOTALLY agree w/Point #1. It's a very easy solution honestly.

Can you repeat Point #3 LOUDER for those in the back?? And ewww...I had no idea some people were still shipping Z with JE. 🤢 Umm....he's 2 gfs removed from Z already soooooo..... Like, let's get real.

The fact that she left him and went BACK to her ex is actually very telling.

TOTALLY agree w/Point #4.

And AMEN to Point #5! 👏🏾 JE stans are punching above their weight class right now, trying to compare JE to other actors who've actually done LEAD roles, and have had good box-office films, or have actually been nominated for prestigious awards. Like, seriously.... Maybe one day you all will be able to fairly compare JE to Tom, Timmy, Austin, Barry, Paul, etc... But as of right now?? Ummm....Yea, NO. You can't even compare JE to Michael B. Jordan, Jeremy Allen White, Daniel Kaluuya, or even John Boyega and Kelvin Harrison Jr.

ALL of those other actors have either:

Done lead roles

Been in a huge blockbuster film (in a lead or co-lead role)

Won or been nominated for serious acting awards

Been a box-office draw (as lead)

Right now, JE has done NEITHER of that. So, until he does at least ONE of those aforementioned things, I can't (with a STRAIGHT face) be comparing him to ANY of the actors above.

I'm sure JE will get there one day (he certainly seems hungry enough for it), but that day is not today. 🤷🏾‍♀️ And until then, his stans need to chill....cuz they're looking a little dumb rn.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

im gonna be a little harsh, please excuse me in advance. im not really into ships, though i like jikook and jihope interactions (i see jihope purely as strong friendship, as for jikook... i have some doubts, they dont really look like brothers, well, not always; jimin is sure to have a soft spot for jk - always had - and jk sometimes looks... obsessed with jimin?). i used to love yoonmin some time ago (not just as close friends but i smelt smth romantic between them), but 3 or 4 years ago they "died". i dont know what exactly happened between them but it even seemed to me that they hated each other. now they are just ok.

so now about the topic i want to elaborate on. jungkook and jimin. jungkook and taehyung.

we've seen taehyung posted a lot of stuff about him and jk and i have an opinion he did it on purpose. as if he wanted to boost his popularity? no hate there - each celebrity does smth like this - but he did it with clear aim. he knows what ship is most popular in the fandom and he knows that majority of taekookers are tae-biased. so he went and did it. probably - if his relationship with jenny is true - to camouflage it.

now about jungkook. he didn't talk about taehyung much but he mentioned jimin a lot. no, A LOT. probably he doesnt approve taekook or he just understands that tae's efforts are pretty much enough. though i thank him for being such a supporter for jimin (i thought that was only about support, not some jikook boost), now as i've seen his photos i have this strange feeling... was it also on purpose? it just doesnt go OK in my mind. whether it wasnt him who chose the outfit (questions to company then?) or he just did the same thing taehyung did. i mean: what can be more earthshaking then pressing on one of the most popular ships? and we know that (UNFORTUNATELY) today's fandom is more about shipping members with each other than about their music.

all in all, i have a feeling now both jk and taehyung are up to smth not really healthy. im very jimin-biased and i dont like what's happening now. everything jk and tae do have some consequences for jimin and most of them are bad.

what do you think? if we talk about these things not from romantic side (ex awwww jk misses jimin so much he wants us to know they are together kyaaaa blabla), but from antiromantic/business reality.

sorry for mistakes, english not my first language and i practiced it about 5 years ago ahah

Hi anon,

I understand what you are saying because the concept photos are a hard thing for me to understand as well and that's coming from someone who think jikook is together and a hardcore Jimin fan.

If we take out the jikook lens and are completely objective, none of this makes sense.

We now know that Jk told the stylist what he wanted to wear and was specific with things such as mud in the pants.

If we were to look at it from a business point, we can say that Jk copied Jimin because Jimin's concepts and album were cohesive and successful. By emulating what Jimin did, he would attract attention and people would be interested to know if his music is also somewhat related to Jimin therefore he increases numbers.

But also, would the "outside world" really notice the similarities? Or is that a thing that only solos, hardcore fans, and shippers notice?

If we look at this from a jikooker point of view, we can say they thought of this together and they are trying to tell the world that Jk and Jimin's journey was together.

But then the same question arises, would the "outside world" really notice the similarities? Or is that a thing that only solos, hardcore fans, and shippers notice?

I think Jungkook doesn't get anything out of either scenario other than approval from jikookers. And we know Tae has done things, on a much much smaller scale to get approval from taekookers. I don't think it's fair to compare because it is one thing to name drop on a 2 minute live and another to do an official photoshoot.

Since I believe jikook is together, I don't think that Jk is doing this to hurt Jimin although his actions, such as fans service, have resulted in hate for Jimin. But I see why people who don't ship jikook are apprehensive about Jk.

Ultimately, we probably will never know why this was done. The only person who could ever explain this would be Jimin and I doubt he will.

If this continues, and Jimin also does this with his next music, then we can conclude that this is more of a pattern since it would be both showing us something instead of just Jungkook.

I don't think I answered your question lol because there is not really an answer!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[bluelockednyx]

thoughts on lunasae? u have them listed in your pairings, i was wondering if u could elaborate on them more specifically. i'm still conflicted on the pair myself. sometimes, i think it'd be a cute and funny ship that id love to see more content for. other times, it feels like it'd be wayy too draining to put anyone in a relationship with luna (probably just my own personal biases speaking though. it's tiring to deal with people who are so… backhanded. but i feel sae would probably handle his personality better since he doesnt really seem to take shit passively). i can see them as a couple… but like, one that's gonna break up in the future? or just a relationship where they just have the occasional hookup or sumn? idk, thats why im so interested on what u may have to say abt it. im also curious as to why u may like it over something like shidousae

An ask for my other shipping log in Blue Lock!!!!

As always, a ton of rambling, so it's behind the read more.

On Shidou / Sae: they're on the lower end of my ship interest ranking, simply because there’s nothing in their interactions that particularly compel me towards them (those superbly gay lines to each other aside), and there’s not much of Shidou’s character design that interest me. My initial impression of him was some sort of spoof on the gyaruo subculture, and it really hasn’t changed much, hypersexualisation included. If there’s more stuff between them, or more development of either of them in the future I might get more invested, but for now I think that Lunasae could have a far more interesting dynamic and narrative, even if the authors don’t take it to where I think they could.

I get why you say that Luna is possibly tiring to deal with in a relationship. The way he talked to Rin? Not everyone can accept that kind of sarcasm and way of talking. But there’s quite a bit more to his character, even in his very, very brief appearance in the manga. It could really just be me overthinking things as usual, but I don’t think so. There’s some subtlety both in his character design and depiction that suggests that he is a character that has been given a fair bit of thought by the authors, so I’m running off of that. This is gonna be a little all over the place, so bear with me.

As a very, very minor character, there’s not much screen time for Luna, but there’s a ton of stuff we can extrapolate from his very brief appearance.

His interactions with Rin in the vs World 5 miniarc is really fun from a writing perspective. On the surface and in a quick skim through, the impression that he gives off is that he’s sarcastic and rude, but his actions with Rin in the mini arc tell a different story. He first deescalated Rin’s provocations (to Rin’s benefit, might I add) and neatly keeps Dada, Pablo and Adam from Rin after that by turning Rin’s attention, and Rin’s ire, onto himself. And how does he do it? By talking about Sae, praising Sae, even, to Rin’s face and saying he’s looking forward to see how Rin does.

During the match he gives Rin valid criticism and points out his weaknesses, and towards the end after Isagi and co. have given up on winning the match, while Rin is still trying to win, he even goes so far as to say he’ll face Rin sincerely. After he scores the last goal, he immediately reassures them as well, reminding them that this is an evaluation, and that they were never expected to win. He even tells them (foreshadows?) to meet in an official match next time. All in all, I think Luna has a sharp tongue on the surface, but he’s also pretty subtly caring with a certain level of emotional maturity and astuteness at handling conflict. Also seems to be a bit offbeat, judging by how Loki had to point out that he was being rude for him to apparently notice it.

I’m gonna dive a little more into meta about character design, since there really is so little we have about him in the story right now.

I’m going to start off with his name: Leonardo Luna. Luna was the part that really jumped out at me first, because one of the most common uses of Sae’s given name, the Japanese kanji, is to describe nights and shine, e.g. 冴えた夜、冴え輝く, both of which well, can be easily linked to the moon, thus Luna. The moon shines brightest in a clear night, after all. :D

For Leonardo, the meaning is lion-heart, and there’s a ton of positive connotations with the name of course, mostly to do with bravery, but I also like the implied meaning of a lion at the head of its pride, caring for the cubs and its pride members etc.

Then Leonardo’s nickname: the Noble of Real Madrid. Probably something in there about how he’s probably noble-hearted, tying into his given name, but there could also be something about Leonardo being a Madrileño and perhaps a legacy player of sorts, with older family who had made names for themselves in the sport too.

I’ve said before that I like them as an asshole x asshole ship, though in all fairness that’s pretty much all of the Blue Lock characters and ships. Just thinking of the both of them being judgy assholes together is hilarious to me, along the veins of Sae outright insulting someone to their face and meaning it, then Luna at first seeming to come to the other person’s face, then delivers another backhand insult way worse than Sae’s without intending to be rude is a comedy bit for me.

From what little we’ve seen of Luna, he seems to be a little fond of teasing people. Maybe a bit fond of leading people around the nose, with the way he played against Rin that time. I think that Sae is okay with that. Sae doesn’t give Shidou a hard time for any of it in the U20 match, even going along with it, somewhat. The only time he got pissed was when Shidou leapt onto his back without permission after Shidou got his second goal. When Oliver outmaneuvered him, Sae too, went along with it and continued playing in the match.

I think they both appreciate the hard truth, and have a pretty level-headed view of things overall (arguably you can’t get far in competitive sports without being able to do that, but y’know). Leonardo certainly doesn’t hesitate to say that he believes a Spanish guy could win in sumo more easily than Japan could win the World Cup in football, and its the same poor opinion that Sae himself has about Japanese football. They’re both also pretty decent at guiding/giving advice to others – I’d even say that Leonardo and Sae had some parallels to each other when they were with Rin and Shidou in the World 5 miniarc + U20 arc respectively, talking about Rin and Shidou’s weaknesses and how they needed to get better.

They’re both also more subtle with how they care for people, and we can see it in how they treat Rin. I just talked about how Luna looked out for Rin in the World 5 miniarc, but Sae is similar too. I’ve talked about how Sae treated Rin badly, but he’s still mostly a good brother to Rin: he didn’t scold Rin when Rin interrupted his match when they were children, he played and pushed Rin to be better with him, before he went to Madrid he was worried about how Rin would do without him since it’s implied Rin has never played without him up till that point. He would have ditched the U20 match after seeing Rin score, even saying that he has ‘seen what he wanted to see’, which strongly implies he just wanted to see Rin doing well with the Blue Lock project. He also thinks very highly of Rin’s capabilities, and his word choice shows as much when he talks about Isagi to Rin at the end of the U20 match (RIP Rin for not understanding the subtlety and having better insight to Sae’s thoughts).

Luna mentioned Sae specifically to Rin. It could be simply a minor detail more to distract Rin than anything, but I’m inclined to think that Luna has watched, or maybe trained a bit with Sae before despite the age gap. It’s not unlikely, since Sae is one of the best young talents around within Real’s Youth system. Clubs try to train up their own people irl and move them up if they have potential. There’s probably some level of regard he has for Sae there. On a more speculative note: I wonder if the authors are implying that Luna took the part-time job with Blue Lock because he was interested in Sae’s interest. Sae cancelled his return flight to Spain just to observe the Blue Lock project. It would have made some buzz in Real, especially if Sae is a core figure of Real’s youth team and that well-regarded, which I believe he is.

Also, Luna’s a world-class player, I can’t imagine Sae considering his butt as unattractive lmao.

Beyond that, I think Luna could be a fantastic foil to Sae, if the authors take it that way. Given the name etymology I discussed above, it would be amazing to have their stories paralleling each others: Leonardo, as a true blue Madrileño, growing up and achieving international success in his hometown and home team, vs the struggles that Sae had to go through while living out the basic immigrant story: of searching for greener pastures overseas to fulfill his dream, the hardships from living in a very different culture etc. Potentially quite a bit of drama, such as microaggressions, racism + bullying, the need to work twice as hard to prove himself to get at the same starting point others already are, the child exploitation that exists behind the whole sports youth system; basically a side commentary of a ton of social issues, which, again, I kind of doubt they’ll dive deeply into. It’s a bit too heavy, I think, for your average shonen sports manga, but who knows.

Then there’s the whole bit of the career paths both have chosen and are succeeding in: Luna as a world-class forward, and Sae as a genius midfielder part of the current generation's world-level players. There’s a fair amount of conflict and, well, story that could be in there too. We have nothing yet about the full reasoning behind Sae’s decision to change his dream, so *shrug* imagination, here I come.

Also I wonder why all the forwards Sae's been shown to play with, besides Rin, are blonde. Hmm?? Hinting at something, Kaneshiro-sensei??? Does Sae have A Type beyond the butts???

On the shippier side, I do believe they can have a pretty easygoing dynamic going on between them. A lot of easy banter, not quite like Shidou and Sae's conversations in the U20, but similar. They both definitely like the high life too, and I wouldn't put it past them to be the type who'd have super expensive dates and have them on a whim too, like, idk, a spur-of-the-moment trip to Paris or something.

And there's the typical drama involved with an age-gap relationship, plus the side dishes of navigating an interracial relationship, and a queer one, in a pretty homophobic environment overall. Especially when you remember that Sae himself is a perfectionist. It's an excellent bedrock for all sorts of character and ship dynamic explorations. All fun stuff to explore and think about.

TLDR; I like their individual aesthetics. I like what we’ve seen of their individual personalities. I like the potential they could have, both their commonalities and their differences. There’s a lot of story that could be there between them, and I have a ton of fun imagining dumb shippy and not-so-shippy stuff between them. So that’s why I ship Lunasae.

[fandomsnstuff]

Angus figures everything out and fucks up Lucretia’s whole Thing AU

Lucretia hires angus, innoculates him, and is like this is the deal with those missing people cases you were investigating

Angus says oh okay! This totally and completely satiases my curiosity :)

Internally angus says this is sus as hell

So he does what he does best, he snoops

So angus is snooping and somehow, cause he's a little crime boy who can sneak around real good, he finds the starblaster

He's like what the fuck is this

He gets in, and it's.....odd. he doesnt linger in any one room too long, he just kind of pokes his head into the bedrooms and moves on (he figures he shouldnt stay here too long, lest he get caught)

But the most peculiar thing is how lived in this place looks. There's mismatched furniture with throw pillows and blankets in the common area, a chore chart on the fridge, the bedrooms are all cluttered with knick knacks and clothes, beds unmade, theres a lab with papers scattered around tables and taped to the wall

But one room catches his attention

It's... fairly simple, and emptier than the others. Bookshelf with some books missing, a bare desk, but what catches his attention is the pile of red on the bed

He goes to investigate and finds robes and jackets, all with an odd patch and names embroidered on them

He finds, in this order:

A robe with "lucretia" embroidered on it

A jacket and robe, together as if someone had been wearing them at the same time, with "lup" and "taako"

A jacket with "davenport"

A robe with "merle"

A jacket with "magnus"

(there’s no barry robe cause he fell off the ship with it, these are the robes/jackets lucretia took off of the crew members as she sent them off to their new lives)

Now. This is after crystal kingdom and angus was at the candlenights party. He knows the director's name is lucretia

He knows who Davenport is

He knows who taako, magnus, and merle are

This is pre-LUP incident, so he doesnt know who lup is

Angus, appropriately freaked out, puts them all back and BOLTS

Angus vacates the premises

Runs back to his room

He tries to figure out what this all means, but his thoughts dodge around the obvious conclusion that's right in front of him

Hes too nervous to go back, it's not until the L U P incident that he decides okay. I have to go back

So he goes back. He goes into the room labeled Captain's Quarters (although "captain" has been scratched out and changed to "cap'nport". Angus doesnt think too hard about what that means)

In the desk he finds some folders with the same weird logo as the robes and jackets. He doesnt look in them. Not yet. He can do that back in his room. He cant spend too much time here.

Then he goes to the lab. He doesnt know what hes looking for, but he grabs ones that seem important. A notebook or two. Some papers clipped together. He just grabs and shoves them into his bag and he fuckin bolts again

he looks at what he grabbed and some of it he can read, some of it he can't

They lived in that ship. They were going on a mission for something. They made the grand relics to stop something. Theres a lot of notes on the planes.

Angus recognizes the way some stuff is redacted, and he kind of figures out that there must be another voidfish. And if the directors name was on one of those robes, maybe she has it.

Refuge mission comes and goes

Angus, cause he's so fucking good, is able to sneak back into lucretias personal quarters and finds junior. He fills a water bottle with the ichor and gets the fuck outta there

He gets back to his room, innoculates himself and is like AAAAAAAAAA

Cause he can finally put it all together properly

And he basically pieces together the whole hunger situation himself with the notes he grabbed

The stuff he grabbed from davenports room was the crew's like profiles or whatever from when they got hired on to the mission so angus now knows who lup is

So angus is like oh i GOTTA fix this

So he heads down to the reclaimers dorm with his bottle of ichor

Angus: i need you to drink this Merle: what is it? Angus: voidfish ichor Taako: *laughs* hate to break it to you kid, we already drank the voidfish juice. Angus: just- please? Magnus: yeah alright

So magnus drinks it. His breath catches and he kinda goes weak and he's shaking and he drops to his knees. After a minute or two (or more) he looks up at angus. "Holy shit," he says. He grabs the bottle from where he dropped it and holds it out to taako and merle. "Drink it." He says.

"Yeah alright," merle says. Same deal as with magnus.

Once merle collects himself, they both turn to taako.

"Yeah, alright. Sure. Let's get taako in on this weird party," he says, taking the bottle and drinking

This time, magnus is ready and he catches taako when his knees give out

"Im gonna fucking kill her," taako mumbles into magnus' shoulder, his knuckles white as he grips his shirt.

"You're not gonna kill her."

"Im gonna fucking hit her so HARD, i swear to god."

Taako keeps his face in magnus' shoulder, but magnus and merle watch as angus crosses the room to where taako had left the umbrastaff, and he walks back over to magnus and taako on the floor

"Sir?" Taako looks up at angus. Angus holds the umbrella out, "i think i know where your sister is."

(Lup, meanwhile, in the staff: HEEEEELLLLL YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)

It takes taako a second, but he realizes what angus is saying and scrambles out of magnus' hold and to his feet. He takes the umbrella and lifts it, about to snap it when angus says, "wait!"

Taako glares at him. "Ive waited ten years, kid. Make it snappy." "Madame director had a holy symbol in her office. I think it would ward against your sister, if shes a lich." "Uuugggggghhhhhhhhh LUCRETIAAAAAA"

The four of them go down planetside under the guise of a magic lesson and not wanting to burn any more "cryptic messages" into the walls

Taako snaps that fuckin umbrella as soon as his feet hit solid ground

Lup's back!

Lup does some magic shit to summon barry, so barold shows up, happy reunion, and then a Discussion on what to do re: davenport not being innoculated and re: lucretia

Their plan boils down to this: thb and angus will go back to the moon and act as if this never happened. As far as lucretia knows, thb are still under junior's influence

As soon as they can get davenport alone without rousing any suspicion, they bring him to their room and innoculate him. Once he's got his memories back, he'll be powerful enough to a) get his bracer off/disable the tracking spell in it and b) get off the base undetected

Davenport will definitely not want to go back to playing butler, so he'll sneak off the base and hang out with lup and barry until lucretia sends the boys to wonderland

When the boys get sent to wonderland, theyll meet up, get the bell all together, and THEN confront lucretia, cause at that point theyll have the whole light, and they'll have Options

So they do just that. They go back and innoculate davenport a few days later, a week at most

A panic ensues once everyone realizes davenport is missing

AND the tracking in his bracer is turning up nothing

Lucretia's blood pressure has never been higher

But everything goes as business per usual

Lucretia, oddly enough, suspects nothing re: the boys ‘cause surely they wouldve confronted her if they remembered

The boys get sent down to wonderland. They meet up with blupjeans and dav at the entrance. With the six of them with all their memories and full access to their skills they take edward and lydia down in like 30 minutes. Tops.

So edward and lydia get their asses thoroughly handed to them by the six of them

(Davenport has the time of his LIFE)

They head back to the lich cave, barry gets in his new body and gets innoculated (the boys brought some ichor with them for him)

Lup possesses barry, then barry-with-lup and dav get in the pocket spa and back up to the moon they go

Lucretia is in her office when avi comes knocking "Uh... director? The boys are coming back." "Already?" "Yeah." "Are you sure it's them?" "Yep."

Lucretia is.... stunned. It's been... an hour and a half. Two, maybe. She has full faith in the boys but they took down wonderland in two hours?????

Not even two hours

She goes to meet them, highly suspicious

But they arrive and, sure enough, it's them. No magic. No tricks. It's them, for sure.

taako has the bell and hes just holding it casually from the top as if it isnt one of the most powerful magic items in existence. And she can tell he isnt thralled, that's just how hes decided to transport it.

Lucretia: ive got to admit, you boys took care of that...much faster than i expected Magnus: ah, it was no big Merle: piece of cake! Taako: yeah, luce, shit was easy. Dunno what you were talkin' about earlier.

And lucretia just freezes. Luce. Thats what taako called her. It’s what they all called her, really, but it’s the nickname Taako took 4 whole cycles to give to her, officially cracking the door of friendship open to her. And she looks him in the eyes and she knows that he knows. And she looks at merle and magnus and she can tell they know, too.

And taako gives her a venomous smile, all teeth, and says, "why dont we go have a little chat, madame director" and she flinches at the way he spits out her title

She doesnt know what to do but nod and turn to leave. As she turns, there's angus, looking up at her with a determined set to his brow, and she knows he knows too

They head back to her office, and taako pulls the pocket spa out, and before lucretia can ask him what hes doing, out walks barry and davenport. And barrys eyes have got that red glow about them, so she knows lup's here too.

"Take down the lich ward, lucretia," barry says.

She does, and now there's a firey, red robed lich among them.

Now this is where things get a little iffy for how they work out but here's what i got

They have a similar confrontation as canon where theyre bickering about staying or going, shield or no shield, and im thinking this is where taako has his "there's a third option" realization

And, because they did extreme wonderland speedrun, and they didnt take a whole extra day to travel to the lich cave and just used fuckin magic to get there, theyre a whole day ahead of where they were in canon

The hunger is close enough at this point tho that they can enact the plan like. Now.

But magnus insists on returning Fisher's baby to them first

As magnus takes junior, lucretia works on getting the base secured and getting the bureau members ready for if the hunger touches down before they can cut it off

Magnus goes down to fisher with the baby, he takes his axe and swings, breaking the tank open

Johann, still alive and now soaking wet, is like dude wtf

Magnus returns the baby and out goes the story and song

Now johann is REALLY like DUDE WTF

Magnus is like im off to save the universe. Peace.

So since theyre a whole day ahead of the hunger, all seven of them go up in the ship

And then they fight and they win and they cut the hunger off and it's rad

The end

[incorrectsnkships]

OKAY OKAY OKAY! I CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION LAST FUCKING NIGHT! CONNIE THE MOTHERFUCKING SPRINGER IS GAY!

So at first I just thought he was a really confident and comfortable heterosexual, y'know? BUT NOW! NOW!? oh no, no, no!

Reason numbrero uno! He has feminine hips. Straight boys don't strut like that, straight boys don't fucking be flexible like that.

Reason numbrero duex! He says bitch waaay to much. So if you don't know the history of the word bitch, bitch was also used a a gay slur for y'know twinks. You don't see Jean or Levi OR EVEN EREN going around going bitch, bitch, bitch, fucking crazy bitches. Sure maybe once in awhile, but Connie use it like a sister y'know?

Reason numbrero drei! Look at who the fucking hell he's hanging 'round with! Ymir; the fucking bitch lesbian. Christa/Historia; the lesbian or bi girl dude. He's the fucking second lesbian protector (next to Eren). You see that gay ass gay homie grab in like what season 3? Or was it 2? He's friends with Sasha, who does she hang out with most of the time!? Ymir and Historia! Sometimes Jean and Mikasa. Speaking of Jean, he ain't sleek either! Connie hanging 'round with a fucking bi-saster a bi disaster! Not to mention Reiner and Armin! We see him worry about Reiner and Bertholdt when they “missing” asking someone to check on them to see if there alive! Man looking out for his gay homies! Also in one of the games he asks Armin why he spends so much time with Eren, to which Armin shoots back with one of the most gay awakening responses, “Hm well what about Ymir and Historia, or Reiner and Bertholdt?” Like yo.

Reason numbrero shi! He mom picks out gay ass fucking names! Sunny, Martin, Connie. Fucking gay dude. (everyone seems to think Sunny is a girl but judging by there titans I actually think Sunny was a boy dude. That’s just a hunch tho~)

Reason numbrero five! He seems like the kinda guy who would wear jewelry. Not really necessarily gay BUt~ I think earrings would so be he thing, and if he we’re to come out he’d probably start wearing one earring!

Reason numbrero six! Look at the kind of shit this man does! He fucking carried Armin princess style, put him down like a prince, bruh he fucking CHOSE to he CHOSE to. He knew what he was doing. And that one official art where he’s wearing that blonde lopsided wig with makeup on. That dress with the fake boobs in it!

Reason numbrero 7! My mama always say, that if a boy is best friends with a girl he will almost always usually fall for her. Connie is close as HELL with Sasha. And while I LOVE springles. This know discovery is D A W N I N G on me! Connie don’t really seem to show that much interest in women. But not necessarily to men either. And that factor being. I think bby Connie is shy!

Overall I think he’s a great fucking character! I love Connie, but this just made me open a whole new chapter for him. I’m currently rewatching AOT with my mom ‘cause she done wanted to watch it and I couldn’t let her watch that cringey dub so yee. I’ll be paying attention for other Easter eggs and clues. I never researched Connie to much but now that I have I’m made some pretty interesting discoveries! In conclusion Connie Springer is probably fucking gay. SO in other words you were RIGHT! ATTACK ON TITAN IS FUCKING GAY! 😍

( j u s t l i k e m e l o l )

srry for the late reply, but you’ve actually convinced me

mans comes across heterosexual but he definitely had a crush on every single male member of the 104th. literally every one. and like many others, one of the older scouts was his gay awakening. and im not saying that connie had a crush on them or anything, and this is definitely not a ship post between connie and any adult in the show, but im just saying that he admired them. a lot. too much. and had to look away when they got changed in front of him.

“connie why do you offer to go kill titans with captain levi whenever we have a mission?”

“i admire his skills!”

“connie, you do realise that erwin doesn’t have time to have tea with you right?”

“no i know i just wanted to talk about stuff with him. professional stuff. as a soldier.”

“connie, you know that moblit doesn’t need an assistant right? he is the assistant”

“WELL SUE ME FOR WANTING TO BE HELPFUL JEAN-“

he’d simp for armin so hard. every week he has a crush on someone new, and then it goes in a loop. and he’d “practice” kissing too. like he’d occasionally bring the topic up in conversation and then go from there based off of the persons reply. “hey uh, jean, so like- have you had your first kiss yet?” and then jean would tell him no and connie would go full internal gay panic. “o- oh yeah, thas- thas cool, um, well, i havent- had mine either so like- would you wanna practice? it doesn’t count-“

connie would have his first everything with jean and it would be so funny because it just happens all at once. like hed get asked if hes ever kissed someone and hed just glare at jean and be so flustered

connie finds it so difficult to tell romantic and platonic feelings apart and thats why hes fallen for all of his friends

armin: oh, connie, thanks for doing that favour for me! i dont know what id do without you!

eren: wait! hurry, where do they keep the extra blades?!

connie: in the cellar!

eren: great- connie, i love you!

marco: see connie? if you just fold the paper a little more, youll get there :) youre a pleasure to teach and i love spending time with you :)

also why do i feel like connie and marco dated for a little while? not even dated then, had a thing going on for a bit. like besides from jean because he doesnt count, but connies first romantic encounter was with marco, fight me

and i definitely feel like connie went to hange for some advice about his sexuality. he was so confused and liking everyone at the same time, so who else better to go to than the person who tried to convince erwin to start an lgbtq+ youth club right?

but when eren and armin announced that they were officially dating, that was an eye opener for connie and it made him realise that its okay to be yourself

and it took him a while to actually realise that he was gay. hence the fact that hed physically gag whenever someone suggested for him to date sasha, and all those times in the boys changing room that hed have to turn around or leave completely

so yes, i can see where youre coming from, and i agree with you. but if we were to list the people connie has simped for from most-least?

marco

armin

jean

eren

levi (not really simping, more fanboying/celebrity crush)

reiner

moblit (same as levi)

bertholdt

[bluescluelessly]

Deception arc AU where Anakin, desperate to avenge his brother, horribly mains or even straight up kills “Rako Hardeen”

[Rating: Mature] || [tw: mild body horror/gore, canon-typical violence]

He isn't stopping.

Obi-Wan's heart thuds in his chest as Anakin stalks towards him, the dark side of the force shrouding him. He's so lost to his anger, he can't even feel it when Obi-Wan tries to reach out, to tell him who he really is without words.

The mission comes first. If Anakin isn't getting a hint, Obi-Wan can't afford to say the truth out loud, not where Cad Bane and Moralo can hear. He'll just have to make Anakin back off some other way.

He takes a few shots, not at Anakin, but Ahsoka instead. Anakin would take a hit if he needed to; but he'll protect Ahsoka with his life.

"Back off, Jedi dogs!" He snarls, making sure not to aim anywhere that woukd leave any lasting damage on Ahsoka. He knows she can block them easily, but he doesn't want to be sorry just in case she misses.

It goes against every fiber of his being to attack either of them, but he has to do something. If Anakin knew, if he knew what was at stake-- Palpatine, his friend-- he would understand. He will, eventually.

Ahsoka easily dodges and parries, as he expected. He reaches out to her in the force, projecting his shots to make it easier, and he thinks she understands. Hopefully she'll know, and she can tell Anakin the truth.

He's distracted by her, so when Anakin does the unexpected, he isn't ready.

He's so close, backing away to the ship. Almost there.

But as Obi-Wan-- or rather, in Anakin's eyes-- Rako Hardeen, changes targets to his padawan, it's like something in Anakin snaps.

Darkness clings to him like a cloak as Anakin sticks out his prosthetic hand, gripping 'Hardeen' with the force so harshly that Obi-Wan feels as if he can't breathe. He can't so much as twitch a single muscle. Even his eyeballs feel frozen in place.

A vicious shout leaves Anakin, and he hurls his lightsaber at Obi-Wan.

The undercover Jedi can't even close his eyes or try to brace himself, just frozen and forced to watch the spinning blade of light fly toward him.

This is it, he thinks. It's over.

A searing pain cuts through him, and he screams through locked teeth. Ahsoka shouts something, but Obi-Wan doesnt make out what she says through the star-bright pain lacing through him.

He wishes he could fall unconscious.

Instead, he feels it as his body thuds to the ground. Anakin's aim, in his blind rage, was off. He feels it as his left leg buckles, and the stump of his right leg slams into the hard, unforgiving durasteel. He feels the shock as his cleanly sliced bone and muscle hits the surface, and then the rest of him topples over.

The ship takes off, leaving him behind. He almost laughs as he realizes he's definitely off the mission now... but he doesn't, because the next second, Anakin is there, hauling him up by the front of his disguise to face him.

The lightsaber is held to his neck now, and Obi-Wan wishes he had the strength to form words.

Anakin is yelling at him, spitting his anger over the death of his master, how Rako Hardeen deserves to die like the filth he is.

"Anakin-" Obi-Wan manages to gasp out, fighting for focus.

"Don't you dare say my name!"

"Anakin!" This time it's Ahsoka shouting, and just in the nick of time, she stops him, pulling on his sword arm to keep his saber away from Obi-Wan's neck. "Master, stop! Look at him, in the force, don't you recognize him?"

Anakin growls, looking unhappy to be interrupted from his revenge. "Of course I recognize him! I don't need the force to know he's the the karking e chu ta that killed Obi-Wan!"

"No, look! He is Obi-Wan, can't you see?"

Anakin blinks. He looks back at Hardeen's face, and when Anakin's force signature reaches out for Obi-Wan's, he drops his shields, even though it means Anakin will feel his pain too.

His teeth are grit in pain, and he shouts again as Anakin drops him, letting him fall back to the ground as his former padawan reels back in shock.

He's safe, for now.

With that thought, and the smack of his head against the ground, he slips into unconsciousness.

°|●.*•

When Obi-Wan next opens his eyes, he's in a bed. A sterile white one... a medbay.

It takes him a moment to remember why, but the metal limb attached to his knee is a pretty good reminder.

He runs a hand over his face, and can tell that his features have been returned to normal. The mission is over then, for him at least.

Seconds after he manages to sit up, his door swings open, and Anakin comes storming in.

The younger Jedi looks to be equal parts apologetic, frightened, and angry.

"Why didn't I know?" He demands, tone just short of accusing.

And well. Obi-Wan is officially too tired for this. "Because, Anakin," he starts harshly, "as you demonstrated so thoroughly, you can't follow simple orders."

Anakin wilts under the weight of Obi-Wan’s disappointment. "Simple?! Was I just supposed to let your killer go loose? Where's the justice in that?!"

"Yes, Anakin!" Obi-Wan states, exasperated. "You need to learn to let go. You need to trust the Council's direction!"

"I can't!" Anakin shouts back, his voice breaking. He's right in front of Obi-Wan now, gripping his arms. "I can't. Not you, Master."

Obi-Wan... he wants to be upset. He wants to tell Anakin off, he wants to push him away, the man who sliced off his leg and nearly killed him.

Instead, for Anakin... only for Anakin... he gives in. He sighs, reaching up to put one hand over Anakin's flesh one.

"Padawan," he starts, more gently this time. "I'm grateful that you care. But you must learn restraint, and you must have more faith in the council. They told you not to go after me, and now you see why."

Anakin looks down, feeling like a student again under his former teacher's firm tone. "They don't care about you like I do. It seemed like they just didn't want to waste the effort." He drops his mechanical hand from Obi-Wan's arm, most of his anger drained. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Obi-Wan huffs slightly, leaning back. "I had to infiltrate a collection of deadly, suspicious bounty hunters suspected of hatching a plot to kidnap the Chancellor. If I was to fake my death, it needed to be believable, Anakin, and no offense, but you're a terrible liar."

Clearly, Anakin wants to dispute that, but doing so would mean he has to reveal his "secret" relationship with Padmé, so he decides against it.

Obi-Wan is tired. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, wanting to stand, but the new, much heavier leg is already putting him off balance.

"We match now," he jokes dryly, reaching down to knock on the metal.

Anakin has the decency to look ashamed.

"How did you even find us?" Obi-Wan asks, baffled. "No one should have known my location but the Council and the Chancellor, and neither of them would give me away and risk the mission."

Anakin looks a little struck. "Wait, the Chancellor knew you were undercover?"

Obi-Wan blinks, assuming that Anakin is upset about someone else knowing that wasn't him. He's careful as he responds. "Well, I didn't personally tell him, but I assume so. The mission was devised to protect him, after all. I can’t imagine he wasn't informed on the measures being taken to interfere with the kidnapping plot."

Anakin looks troubled. "... Palpatine is the one who told me where you were."

Obi-Wan frowns in confusion. "That makes no sense. Why would he send you after me, jeopardizing his own protection? If he knew my location, he must have known the plan as well..."

"Why would he send me to kill you?" Anakin asks, looking even more troubled. "He said I could get revenge..."

They share a look with one another, the earlier fight forgotten in the wake of this new, strange revelation. Something doesn't add up.

"I need to talk to him." Anakin decides.

"We will," Obi-Wan agrees tentatively. "Together. Now, help me stand. You're my designated crutch until I can walk on my own, as penance for cutting off my leg."

Anakin does, without complaint. "I am sorry."

"Sorry doesn't get my leg back, unfortunately," Obi-Wan barbs his friend, not seeming all that upset about it. "My kicks are going to hurt quite a bit more now, though."

Anakin smiles a bit, and he knows it's going to be okay.

Everything will be fine.

[faerielleart]

GIRL GGFJFJVGDJD OK UMMM let me see... what do you like about levihan? or do you have any unpopular opinions? or headcanons!

oh boi i hope i won’t rant too much, i don’t want this answer to be a thousand miles long i don’t want to seem boring-

OKAY let’s start

What i like about levihan: i have to start with a lil background a say that levihan is my longest ship i’ve ever had, it’s the only one who survived time and the only ship i have never stopped shipping/lost interest into, which is kinda rare for me since i switch interests a lot and go through hyper-fixations, so i tend to lose interest quickly in something once i’ve found something else to pay attention to

this, however has never happened with levihan: started shipping them when i was 12, still trash 7 years later skdjdjfjf i didnt start shipping them for special reasons tho, at the time aot was my first ever still on air anime and i was completel new to the community, plus i didnt really speak english well and the first episodes i watched confused me A LOT. However, amidst all that confusion and trying to remember names and plot points, episode 9 came, i got introduced to this character who apparently is named levi, the first information the scene gives the watcher is “this guy is a grump” based on his reaction to the crowd, the second information the scene gives to the watcher is “this person next to him, despite him being a grump, isn’t afraid to tease the shit out of him and we still don’t even know their name” which i found ??? Cool??? I immediately paid attention to this lil dynamic, then the next scene was the hairgrab scene and,,,,,, yeah my 12 year old braincells went into overdrive and i was completely sold

i just needed them to interact once and BOOM

but OBJECTIVELY i still find extremely telling, years later, how these were the first informations of these characters. In a narrative, character’s introduction is absolutely crucial to the story, you can understand millions of things just by the way a character is presented and says their first lines and honestly choosing to introduce levi and hanji together was imho very, very telling of what role they’d play in the story/what role they play in each other’s lives.

isn’t it strange that the very first infirmation we get of these two is that the grumpy one is okay with this person teasing him? that means there’s gotta be a level of familiarity among them, right? and the hairgrab? requested by isayama himself? in the official book of season one it also says that the scene was added to “show their relationship”??? i mean 2+2 is 4 where i’m from 👁👄👁✨

so yeah my dumb 12 year old brain had FORESIGHT apparently-

as i picked up the manga and read through the uprising (and got older and my english got better) i noticed more and more things about them and i just really freaking fell in love with their relationship okay it wasn’t “oh cool grumpy and sunshine who teases him”, more like “holy fuck grumpy has a sad backstory, seems unapproachable but is the kindest person ever, just wants to be a hero and save everyone, has the most tender heart, sunshine is a multi dimensional character who has fears and doubts and they work so well together despite being polar opposites but at the same time their oppositeness results in somehow them being completely in sync with each other and almost thinking with the same brain as if they were one person split in half”.

since they’re grown adults and they’re so close, their relationship has something that i always seek and almost never find in other ships, which is emotional maturity. You never see them purposely tearing each other down just to hurt the other, they work out their problems and C O M M U N I C A T E ✨ they don’t act childishly around each other, they tease and bicker but it’s completely different than full blown arguments where both parts disrespect the other just to prove their point. They are willing to listen to what the other has to say and their judgment is precious and welcomed, since the basis of their relationship is complete trust. levi is rough with words, but he means something else entirely despite what he conveys, as seen during the aftermath of eren’s first hardening experiments, and hanji totally understands what he wants to say, which is why they never reprimand him or take offense to what he says.

what i’m trying to say, i believe in a way that nothing is half-assed about how they were written in the story as a pair, despite how i disagree with certain narrative choices *ahem*; as much as i would have wanted them to have more screentime and more interactions, i believe it wouldn’t have been “in character”, lemme explain because i realize it sounds weird and my wording probably doesn’t help: their relationship is subtle and as such it should remain subtle and in the subtext, simply because it is none of our business as readers. Show, not tell, but show in a way that it is evident only if you pay attention. levi is blunt when he speaks, but at the same time his words have another meaning than what he conveys and his actions are subtle.

isn’t it obvious with how often it was remarked that the only person who is able to understand levi completely is hanji? and this is where chapter 132 comes into play with this amazing analysis post that i’m sure we all read a thousand times and screamed over it

all this “ambiguity”, all this subtlety, all this subtext, all this wordplay, words that have more than one meaning, i believe are all indicators of one thing: us readers are not able to understand comple what levi wants to say and his words result ambiguous to us and not 100% clear, simply because the readers are not hanji. but fortunately, i believe that hanji understood that levi too wants to “stay in the forest”. this is not the reaction of someone who is confused by a sentence, this is the face of someone who finally had a realization:

what kind of realization? it’s not up to us to know (tho we know *wink wink*), because we’re not hanji and we can’t understand what levi says.

plus, 心臓を捧げよ, “dedicate your heart”, can hold a million different meanings. 心臓 is heart, を is a particle that denotes the object, 捧げよ is the verb “to offer, dedicate, devote, sacrifice”, there are no adjectives that indicate possession as you can see; levi using his own left (not right) fist and placing it on hanji’s chest instead of just taking hanji’s hand and placing it on their chest is ambiguous too. i interpet it in different ways but the conclusion is one, and i can’t honestly see it in any other way. one of the interpretations i like the most is that levi is implying that they both share the same heart, which is why he used his own left hand, meaning that both of them are dedicating their hearts in that moment to humanity, because they are actively choosing to put their desires aside to live a peaceful life away from everything (as jean too has wished in chapter 127, as hanji has expressed in 126 but in 127 too and jean seems taken aback by their confession) since they’re soldiers and duty comes first.

so yeah if i have to choose something i love the most about levihan, it’s gotta be the subtlety and the ambiguity that at the end of the day, is absolutely not ambiguous at all. everything is expressed for a reason, if an author actively chooses ambiguity, in this specific case of a relationship, he intends the result not to be ambiguous. it sounds like a brain fart but i blame it on my inability to articulate my thoughts well, i hope what i want to say can be understood 😭 and in a way, this can be considered as an unpopular opinion i think?

meaning that i get that commonly someone might want an explicit declaration that leaves no room to doubt and I honestly wish for it too, but I don’t think it would be in character, and the ambiguity (if we can call it that, i’m calling it that just to avoid backlash and controversy jshfsjdjmd) in this case speaks enough volumes to me considering both of the characters we’re dealing with, the story as a whole, the interactions with other characters.

ALSO going back to their bond, i want to copypaste something i posted on twitter regarding chapter 126 and the blush: it doesn't make sense, character-wise, for Hanji to feel in any way embarassed around Levi. They have no filters whatsoever around each other. They are close, closer than anyone in the series, the author hasn't shown any embarassment between them. Back in Uprising, when Hanji was hesitant and wanted out, Levi was the one who encouraged them. So, this thing has in a way already happened, since back then they admitted to wanting to abandon responsibilities to Levi's face and didn't blush. So, in 126's context, it doesn't really make sense for Hanji to blush "only because they were embarassed at being caught wanting to run away". It happened once already and there was no blush. So yeah, the blush means something else. And that something else is definitely much, much, MUCH deeper than "embarassment". 🙌

since smartpass stories can absolutely be taken as part of the canon universe as they’re supervised and approved by isayama and published with the manga, i am adding the rain story as further proof of what kind of relationship they have. also levi being a 30 year old tsundere is adorable but movING ON

SO YEAH MY FINAL TWO CENTS ARE : i love everything about levihan and there isn’t a single thing i would change, because wanting aot to be a huge slice of life of them doing the most random things just to watch them interact doesnt count sjdjfjdjdjfjsmdm, my unpopular opinion is that i find the subtlety and the ambiguity KEY to doing justice to what they have because it’s none of us readers’ business because only they are able to understand each other and i fucking LOVE that, my headcanon is that they totally kissed once during the timeskip, maybe on the first anniversary of the battle of shiganshina, i see them not being able to sleep alone and finding comfort in each other and in a moment of weakness and vulnerability they kiss, but pretend it never happened because things are messy and they can’t afford to get involved because again, duty first, but the YEARNING™️ and the PINING™️ only intensifies after that, but they manage not to make things awkward and they are close as ever.

my GOD i rewrote the odyssey, sorry 😭

[tinysatansierra-blog]

Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment. 

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt 

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place  next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition  “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them  so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit.  so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety.  another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said.  now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people)  they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content  and im going to repeat this point  IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite  and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people  and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored  https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

[drifting-mindspace]

Things we deserved to get from the Naruto manga and anime that we never got -

• JONIN NARUTO -

We followed him around as the lovable Genin knucklehead. Now it goes without saying that him being a Jonin is just a rank and honestly doesnt mean much. Rescuing Gaara, going after Kakuzo, Mount Miyaboku were all A & S-rank missions.

But I would liked to have seen him doing missions post war in a slightly more mature yet typically knuckleheaded manner instead of the passing phrase he made tonShikamaru about being too busy doing missions for the next 6 months.

We grew up with Naruto and now that he's older and stronger we dont get to see him in action.

• A Happily Married Kakashi & Shizune- 

Hatake Kakashi has led a deeply traumatic life. His mother died when he was very young, his father committed suicide when he was 6 causing him to distance himself from everyone around him. The first person he opened up to and formed a bond with died moments later protecting him, the girl he deeply cared for and probably harbored feelings for which he was too afraid to confront died at his hands as he desperately tried to protect her, a year later his sensei died protecting the village. When he became a sensei to Team 7 he felt he was on a path to finding inner peace by ensuring these children avoid his traumas but his prized pupil went rogue shattering that hope. After all this I’d hoped he would’ve finally found a happy ending.

Why Shizune? Well I considered him and Kurenai getting together and him helping raise Mirai but Shizune has always felt like the only Kunoichi in Konoha who has her shit together. She is perfectly at peace with where she is in life. She is incredibly mature and level headed as she helps run the village with Tsunade. Someone who is at peace with herself and her aspirations is the perfect anchor for a man with a whirpool of trauma brewing in him.

Alas it seems like the showrunners have no intention of a romantic arc for Kakashi and the Hatake name will die with Kakashi.

• The Uzumaki Clan

Within a span of 3 months Naruto meets 3 Uzumaki clan members. Nagato, Karin and his own mother. While speaking with Kushina he finds out about the dark fate of the Uzumaki clan. How they were blessed with unimaginably high chakra reserves and were gifted in Sealing Jutsus, longevity and how it led to them being targeted by those who feared them leading to their village being wiped out and scattered across the shinobi world.

Instead of turning the Naruto saga into the Uchiha Chronicles Id have preferred a deep dive into the Uzumaki clan. Maybe even have a Sasuke-like venegeful figure who wants Konoha to suffer because they failed to provide aid to the village they called their strong allies in their greatest hour of need.

Like Sasuke this villain would’ve witnessed his fellow clansmen cut down, unlike Sasuke however he wouldn’t have had the likes of Naruto, Itachi or Kakashi to anchor him in the light leaving room for redemption.

This could have been the one villain that was so far gone in his pain and hatred that no amount of 'talk no jutsu' could have changed his mind and would've pushed Naruto to the very brink until he finally had to choose between killing his clansman or protecting his village.

Naruto would make the ultimate sacrifice for Konoha and this would all the more set his resolve to pulling Sasuke back from the darkness or dying with him.

An Uzumaki villain gifted in Fuijutsu and the use of the Uzumaki Kekkei Genkai, the Adamantine Chains along with massive chakra reserves would be the perfect power scaled villain for Post Pain Arc Naruto.

Instead we got Uchiha chronicles where everyone did whatever the fuck they thought of doing and chakra limits were all but history. This one really disappointed me. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

• Naruto Killing a Villain

Now I know it seems like an odd hang up. Naruto? Kill? But he is so fixated on redemption. That is exactly why I wanted this to happen. The series has gone out of its way to make sure Naruto hasn’t killed a character. The worst of it was against Kakuzu. The kind of attack unleashed upon Kakuzu SHOULD by all means have killed him. Yet somehow he was left in a ‘dying state’ and Kakashi was the one who did the deed. 

Naruto being forced to kill a villain as a last resort and making a choice between saving someone dear to him or tainting his hands with blood was the ultimate moral conundrum for a shinobi whose biggest goal was rescuing his best friend from the dark. It would take him back to Itachi’s words where he asked Naruto what he would if Sasuke decided to destroy the village.

Instead we saw Rasen Shuriken and Rasengan getting scaled down to a point where they always injure and opponent but not kill him. For an S-rank jutsu, Rasen Shuriken happens to be quite lenient.

• Neji beoming the head of the Hyuuga Clan

This pisses me off the most. Neji was supposed to be to the Hyuuga was Naruto was to Konoha. I always expected Neji to overcome all the obstacles and get recognized by Hiashin who would then redeem himself and disband the branch system once and for all. Hiashin as a character was never redeemed. Here was a man who let his brother get executed to avoid punishment (albeit he was against it but it did happen), constantly abused his kind daughter and belittled her for being too soft and put her down to a point her personality was underdeveloped and she had deep seethed confidence issues.

Disbanding the branch system and making Neji the leader would redeem him in the eyes of the readers/ viewers and would clean up the Hyuuga clan.

Instead Neji was scrapped aside to give Naruto and Hinata a bonding moment. They had a bonding moment, it was when she almost died saving his life. Neji didn’t have to die for them to get together ffs. What a wasted potential.

• NaruSaku

Now I’m not a fanatic shipper. In fact when I read and watched the original series I absolutely HATED Sakura. My hatred for her reached it’s peak during the Zabuza arc when Naruto ran at the S-rank villain, got kicked away and got up to show he went in for his forehead protector. “What do you think you’re doing Naruto? Even Sasuke-kun wasn’t a match for him.” I just wanted Naruto to turn around and tell her to stfu in that moment. As the series approached the time skip I was well and truly content with NaruHina.

But Shippuden changed things. The hints towards Sakura’s changed feelings were sprinkled all over the series. One moment that stands out for me was the Clone Training arc where Sai tests her by abusing Naruto and she goes on a rage rant about how great he is. Let’s not forget that in her darkest hour, as she saw a ruined and destroyed village the only person she thought of and cried out to was Naruto. Not because she felt he could save the village (she was as shocked as Shikamaru as she found out he was facing pain alone) but because when things when bad for her the only person who she felt comfort around was indeed Naruto and that is indisputable.

She goes as far as ruining her friendship with Naruto, a bond she truly cherished as it was all she had left after Sasuke abandoned the village, and confessed her feelings to manipulate him. Yes manipulative, scheming and downright a bitch of a thing to do. But it was all she could think of to make Naruto stop chasing after Sasuke. She, more than anyone wanted to see Naruto become a Hokage and realize his dreams and dying while rescuing Sasuke was a risk she couldn’t take and she decided she’d have him hate her than die. Wrong yes. But oddly noble.

This combined with all the blatant attempts to establish her being like Kushina and Kushina saying she wants Naruto to find someone like her changed my mind from NaruHina. I still adore Hinata. She is a wonderful character. But organic plot progression is far more important to me than my ships being canon.

A Naruto-Sakura family would’ve been incredibly entertaining and the dynamics would be perfect. We’d see a Minato-Kushina couple on screen for the next series. Which brings me to my next disappointment.

•HinaShino

I don’t know if that’s the official name for the pairing but I always felt these 2 would make a great couple.They are both people of a few words and are both incredibly intuitive and understanding individuals. Shino would accept Hinata for who she was and vice versa. Being with someone who was happy with the person they were would go miles in helping them come out of their shells.

Altho this isn’t a massive disappointment for me. I’m happy that Hinata ended up with Naruto. But like I said organic plot progression matters to me and if Naruto ended up with Sakura I’d prefer Hinata to end up with Shino.

•Hiraishin No Jutsu

Sadly as the series progressed Naruto had become so OP that not letting him master his father’s improved version of Tobirama’s jutsu was a great decision. It would’ve just made him senselessly OP. 

However instead of giving him all those God Tier power ups which he just gains in single training sessions I’d have preferred him working hard to master the Hirashin. Instead of sending him off to an island and treating him like a fucking idiot and asking him to survey animals I’d have preferred if Tsunade gave him an impossible task.

“You can’t fight in the battle. But I will only allow it if you can master your father’s jutsu.”

It was a period of 6 months between Danzo’s death and the start of the shinobi war. Ample time to show him training hard to learn a jutsu that for once required him to study. Hiraishin deals not just in physical acts of speed but also mastering seals.  Seeing his friends go off to fight in the war as he was left behind would have only added to his frustration and motivated him more.

Showing Naruto training hard like they showed him training for Rasen Shuriken would’ve only made us cheer all the more harder when he’d make a badass entry on the battle field as Tobi came close to killing Kakashi and a three pronged Kunai swished between the two, an orange flash appeared and Naruto kicked Tobi away.

Sadly this was swapped for Pokemon evolutions where arc after arc Naruto levels up just like that. The show’s entire premise was based on hard work and guts.

Sasuke was the genius who gained his power through natural ability. Sure he trained hard but his strength came to him with ease. Naruto had to slog. He manged to make the Rasengan after nearly 15 episodes of training and even then he had to get stabbed to be able to use it. It wasn’t until another 10 episodes that he properly used it. His training for the Rasenshuriken took an entire season to yield results and even then he didn’t learn to throw it until he trained for another 3 seasons till the Pain arc.

Post pain all this is tossed aside. He sits at the waterfall twice and beats the darkness. He sits in the room once and tames Kurama. Later Kakashi and Guy are in trouble, he has an inner dialogue with Kurama and suddenly he mastered the two man team with no prior training. Rikkodu Sennin touches him once and suddenly he’s learnt how to grow eyes, stop death and fly just like that.

The series stopped being the Naruto series we grew up with post Danzo and it saddens me.

• Naruto Sensei - 

And finally my last and greatest disappointment of all. Not seeing Naruto as a sensei. We’ve seen glimpses of his nurturing side in his interactions with Konohamaru but I’d have loved to have seen 40-50 episodes of him leading his own squad of genins. A perfect combination of Kakashi and Guy as he’d wow them with his brilliance and equally embarrass them in day to day interactions with his goofy tomfoolery. His genins would be in awe of him. Naruto Sensei - the hero of the war. 

His students could have an arrogant son/daughter of a feudal lord who insisted he be trained by the war hero, Naruto and Kakashi had to cave in for diplomatic reasons. Naruto refuses to take anyone who doesn’t work hard to get where they are but after the bell test sees potential in the child. A child with no ninja background. His parents were farmers outside of Konoha who were very poor. His sole aim is to be a ninja so strong that he’s always assigned big missions that will help him ease his family’s financial burdens. A genin from the Inuzuka clan (or any other clan, maybe even Hanabi if the show wanted to push more Naruto-Hinata interactions) who thinks he’s better than the other 2 because of his family background but is taught humility by Naruto.

Sadly another development in Naruto’s life we were denied.

Well that’s my rant essay. I know a lot of people won’t agree with what I had to say but I wanted to get it off my best anyway. Why? 

Because I wanted to dattebayo!

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

I think about Zelink in each game and I seriously give Nintendo props for creating a compelling dynamic between the two no matter if it’s purely platonic or has romantic undertones or is just blantantly spelled out as soulmates.

OoT Zelink has romantic undertones. Don’t even try to argue with me if ya feel differently. It isn’t spelled out plainly enough that we could say it’s practically canon, but it does have that bond between them that’s undeniable.

In the game, you can literally go back into the castle as Young Link and show Zelda the different masks Link acquires through the side quests. And the entire idea of Link sneaking pst all those guards to show Zelda some mask is hilarious and adorable.

After the time jump, Sheik then accompanies Link and it’s 10000% obvious that he’s fascinated with them. Link wants to spend as much time with Sheik as he possibly can. Water Temple aftermath scene anyone? That made it obvious (for me) that OoT Zelink are soulmates, because it’s their souls pulling them together and creating this attraction. Gender has no say. (It’s also makes Link 10000% bi in this game since Sheik is considered a “guy” to everyone else and I live for this headcanon). No matter who they’re disguised as, the chemistry and attraction is THERE. Plus, in Kakariko when they’re attacked by the Shadow. Staying by the others side. Trying to protect each other. Please let me live.

And the final battle. Oh this poor bby. He sticks his arm out to protect her. He’s so loyal to this girl. He found out she was this person guiding him the entire time and she’s separated from him as soon as she reveals her identity. Foolishly banging on a crystal to free her? Desperate boy wanting to save the girl he cares so much about. Link’s entire life ends up revolving around Zelda in this game. She is the one person he truly truly cares about on a deep level.

I love Malon and all, but I never saw the connection. I’ve always headcanoned the idea that Link comes back from MM’s events and goes straight to Zelda and legitimately just grows up in Castle Town under Zelda’s orders and is trained for the Guard and eventually becomes the head of the entire Hyrulian Army. I also headcanon that OoT Zelink both die young, but not before they have a child who is then given to their trusted friend Malon to raise. (I know it’s a dark headcanon but hey I think it makes sense)

Twilight Princess, on the other hand, gives off much more platonic vibes. Partly because Zelda is barely in this game. I do love Midlink in this game too, but as an endgame, nope. The thing about Twilight Princess Zelink is that it could POSSIBLY happen after the game’s events. But during the actual gameplay? This Zelda and Link play their respective roles to ultimately defeat Ganon. It’s more professional.

People can debate about this one, with Link’s attention whenever Zelda is in the room being solely on her and all, but I see that more as a ranch hand meeting royalty for the first time and being awed by the regal and natural beauty she exudes. I have said that I can see them happening through a friends with benefits type of situation, but only after.

In game, the story pretty much implied that Ilia is the love interest and not Midna or Zelda. Tbh, I didn’t love her character but I knew for a fact that Link did so I went with it. But I’m replaying the game now and BOYYY it seriously points to Ilia and Link being an item. And it makes perfect sense too. But after everything, I’d see Link sticking around Zelda more because she at least understands. But again, in game and from the canon events, Zelink is more platonic than anything.

Skyward Sword is completely platonic. Idk how y’all got “soulmates” from this Zelda and Link, I mean-

Yeah no do I even have to talk about how this game is blatantly romantic? Its not even UNDERTONES like it’s full out “I’m doing this to save the girl that I love”. They’re literal soulmates and started the kingdom of Hyrule and I couldn’t be MORE PROUD! The first Zelda and Link happen to be in love and they managed to get cursed so in every incarnation they’re bound to meet each other and I think that’s beautiful (despite the angry third wheel that reincarnates with them). But otherwise, this game is legit a love story between Link and Zelda with a bit of action and adventure sprinkled in. Good quality and excellent eyeliner.

Breath of the Fucking Wild people. I know I already did romantic undertones but would I be me if I DIDNT go on a little rant about the beauty of this Zelink??? Didn’t think so. It’s also not even undertones. It’s also not blatantly romantic. It’s heavily implied.

So, you get the hate to love trope, the princess and her knight trope, AND the amnesia trope. All three in this very special pair. The memories play these two very well. The actual story to the game may have been a bit underwhelming, but Zelink’s story is MASSIVE. The memories show us a very complex Zelda, a mute Link who is loyal to a fault, and an epic love story between the two. This isn’t even a theory. It’s actually canon. (Thank you Kass, ily bby)

Now Link’s perspective isn’t fully fleshed out, but that’s the thing. It’s not supposed to be. But what we do get is a few pieces of information that makes you go “oh so he does have feelings for Zelda”. First being the Journal Entries. He wants to save Zelda ASAP so he can see her smile. He wonders if she will be pleased with how far he’s come. He is determined to save her after gaining all his memories of their relationship back. This Link only truly remembers Zelda. The Champion’s have some place in his mind, but he doesn’t remember like like he remembers Zelda.

Second being the little moments in the memories, like him staying by Zelda’s side in the castle to just hang out with her, listening to her ramble on about science things, being Extra Asf when the ground shakes and he immediately goes to make sure Zelda doesn’t stumble, turning around when Zelda begins to doubt herself, sheathing his sword despite being chased by murder bots. It’s just all those little things that makes you THINK.

Third being the flowers. The symbolism. It’s all too real and I won’t even get STARTED on how Nintendo gave us a canon ship name for BotW Zelink and we had the audacity to IGNORE IT!!!

Fourth being the fact that they practically debunk Miphlink after giving it the potential to become official. Stay with me. They painted Mipha as the typical childhood friend that falls in love with the protagonist. Except, I can say with certainty that it’s 1000% one sided. In the game, Link goes to Zora’s Domain as a kid and Mipha heals kid Link’s wounds because she a kind and gentle soul. There’s nothing romantic about that given the fact Mipha writes about it before she writes about the feelings she develops.

When Link goes back, she writes about how he looks past her, doesn’t open up to her, but still remains the kind soul she knows him to be. This in and of itself tells us that Link has no feelings for her whatsoever. He’s a knight and he does his best to protect whoever is in need. But he doesn’t truly reconnect with Mipha as a teenager because he remains closed off and in her diary, Mipha confirms the fact that he doesnt give her the same attention that she gives him. She makes the Zora Armor, yeah, but she didn’t present it to Link AND she prayed to Ruto. Ruto being the Zora that fell for Link but that relationship never happened because Link didn’t have feelings for her whatsoever. That in and of itself gives the impression that this relationship is also one sided. The thing that always stood out to me was how Mipha never presented the Zora Armor and how she realized Link and Zelda would grow closer because all the time they had was spent with each other. My theory is that Mipha saw Link and how he seemed a bit less weighed down. And it hit her that the Zelda is also more carefree at this point. And she puts two and two together and realizes that Link and Zelda have opened up to each other and gotten much closer as a result. Hence, why she didn’t give him the Zora Armor since she saw where Link’s heart truly lies. That’s just my own personal idea and theory on her not giving him the armor, so don’t judge lol.

But BoTW Zelink is so COMPLEX and is heavily implied to be canon after the events that I cannot wait to see how the sequel treats their relationship. It’s definitely going to be fun to watch and play.

OKAY SO MY POINT WAS

Nintendo provided all thes unique takes on two characters yet never gave them a toxic relationship, but always one where they can rely on the other when they needed to. And I think that’s beautiful.

*please take note that these are more of my personal opinions and how I view the relationships which may differ from others but that’s okay since LoZ is supposed to be a franchise where you are Link and so whatever you love, he loves. I’m just a slut for Zelink 🤷🏻‍♀️

[superemeralds]

ive had my own idea for a sonic movie that would still be live action and a generic child-friendly action-comedy just like the “real” sonic movie is (presumably) gonna be

IN SHORT!

The main character that makes a duo with sonic for the majority of the movie is a young girl named June.

The overall plot is very similar to sonic x, but altered to fit the time span of the usual one and a half hours movie length in movies like that.

detailed description, explanation of the pictures and character info under the cut!

Through a mal-induced chaos control eggman and sonics friends get transported into the real world. this time space rift causes some really weird stuff to happen and June gets seperated from her dad, who was just on his way to bring her to school.

at first she thinks its cool to meet a talking blue hedgehog in a really pretty nature-y place and skip school to play with him, but soon they notice that they are not alone. Eggmans robots got transported to our world too! June gets captured because she is seen with sonic and therefore identified as a threat by eggmans robots! Sonic runs after her towards what seems to be eggmans base.

meanwhile the dad was transported to a really high place, whihc is bad cos he’s  got fear of heights. Luckily tails and knuckles appear and offer to help him down

both teams start looking for eachother, but get interrupted by various obstacles. June and Sonic get hold off by eggmans schemes, while Dad and Sonics friends stumble upon amy, who just escaped a military research facility. she hoped that cream would be with the others, but it seemed that they had to go back and save her. the Dad used to be a hobby boxer, but since he’s a lawyer he doesn’t really do that much anymore. it surely helped him when taking out those government officials. its funny how a lawyer breaks the law, right? there’s many jokes on that and his character development goes from strict father figure that doesnt allow fun and insists on obeying the law to a wild and free man who does what’s right, even if  he has to break rules. (also he screams “sorry” every time he KOs someone because hes that kinda guy)

June and sonic manage to infiltrate the egg carrier that was transported into our world and set it to crash and render all his stuff useless!

However, the ship is on course for the city which they didnt realize until it started losing height. eggman pretends that he can still stop this if the people are willing to make him their unquestionable ruler, but sonic and june are determined to stop the ship themselves. sonic keeps eggman busy while June is in the command center trying to find a way to make the ship change course and go crash in the ocean.

in the end everything is exploding and falling apart and eggman is fleeing, June managed to change the ships course and runs up to sonic telling him he needs to run, sonic says that she doesnt have to tell him twice and they go.

sonic gets blown to the side by an explosion and trips over debris, making his knee bleed a little (u cant see blood bc this is kid friendly hes just hurt like theres dirt or smth lol) and he tells june to run and not worry, but she comes back and lifts him on her back and is determined to run as fast as she can to get outside

when she reaches a door she screams because she’s scared. they are close to the ground, but not close enoguh to make it alive if she jumped... then sonic hugs her from behind and says “jump on my command” and shes like. no way. but he says “trust me we’re not gonna get hurt if we hit water” and shes like “but i cant swim that well” sonic chuckles “me neither” and then she gets the memo and is all determined and ready and they make it and its magical

they might also have a scene thats a nudge to 06 where sonic is very Positive and gives good life advice.

while everything seems like its perfect eggman is starting plan B of his conquer the others were all alarmed by the crashing egg carrier and therefore came speeding in the modified car tails rebuild for Dad (it can turn into a fucken plane. Dad and June are finally reunited and he thanks sonic for watching after her, and sonics like nah ur daughter totally watched after me shes a hero.

and then they work together to stop eggmans final boss robot and save the city.

at some point they all found chaos emeralds somewhere. and sonic can turn super to finish eggman off. yeah that sounds cool.

that also makes him and the others fade back into their own dimension, bc hes Got That Power

in the end its just him, June and Dad iin midst of a park in the city with debris and shit and June is like. sonic dont go we jsut became friends

and sonics like. treasure the memories you make and live life to the fullest bc u only got this one shot and u gotta make the best of it. n her dad is all agreeing and shakes his hand and is like. thanks sonic

and June hugs him and cries but smiles and sonic says nice smile bc im kinda getting emotional writing this all out and then he disappears in a flash of light and in that moment it cuts to the mom on the side of the park in her car with the window down going “what the-” and credits roll

thanks for reading

okay i know most of this was really silly and unfinished but granted i was making this all up as i went on and on about this and like. yea. i brainstormed this in like. 2 horus time completely from scratch, only using sonic X as basis for the plot and the humor of popular and successful action comedies as inspiration for the tone of the movie

as for the characters i just thoguht a carefree girl thats tired of being stuffed into a mold meeting sonic and learning that its okay to be herself and do what u think is right, learning that kindness really is the most powerful thing on earth and that friendships are precious??? hell fucking yeah!

also child character is more relateable than a fucking cop. kids will be able to relate to June, while adults (long time fans most of all) will be able to see their past self in her.

as for the dad, a lot of adults might see themselves in this dad role who just wants the best for his  kid, while being stuck in a boring job that doesnt really fulfil them, but pays the bills and the lifestyle the family has.

I also really wanted characters that you have not seen before. Whenever i see a black dad he has a shaved head and thats kinda boring its just. basic. nothing agianst dads with shaved heads but why is Every Single(black) Dad Bald/Buzzcut? so i gave him dreads because why not? looks cool when he does action shit. whoosh whoosh

i knew i wanted a kid and i knew i wanted a girl. im really fond of puffy pigtails and i decided to go with a black girl just because! it was the very first thing that came to my mind when i was looking for an adventurous girl that wants to go on adventures with a blue talking hedgehog.

plus loving black dads that lov their girls rly rly need rep u_u

as for sonics design, i tried to compromise with the movie’s need for a more realistic sonic by making him overall fluffier to hint at texture, but keeping his core design and proportions.

the same goes for all the other characters.

I’m still very thinking emoji about eggman, I think it would be best to have him be either played by a fat person. Like Really Fat Person to resemble his original design (hes fat okay who cares abt slanky legs) or have him be CGI/partially CGI due to the fact that he’s from another dimension.

and uh. that’s all i have to say for now! it’s 1am and i should get to bed!

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY S7E4 Livewatch

BiFucAnd once more unto the breach...this time, maybe we’ll get to see something cool from Mantle!

The more I see the opening the more I feel like its half Teen Titans, half sitcom. 

Also the mention of a “lightning bolt” makes me think of either Nora or my unknown OC Marasco, which pleases me

Amnity Colleseum sees your sins...and it JUDGES YOU. “Pathetic”

Also cool, Atlas has military trucks. Good.

LAMB FAUNUS! SHES SO CUTE! Wonder who the dude is.  Ohhh that bird symbol. These are Robyn’s crew aren’t they? That bird must be some kind of pheonix. Mantle rising from the ashes... Seriously though that thing looks like the fuckin UNSC eagle emblem and I could not be happier about it. 

Hold up, those trucks have the same bodyshape as the cattlecar that RWBY was in on their way to the school. Modular component system? Swap in wheels or wings...cool!

Wait why does Qrow get to walk out with the Ace’s? Is RWBY just not supposed to be there?

Marrow walking like he’s in The Right Stuff. 

Lancaster momennnntttt. And then NORA. Oh. Just fanboying. 

“Ace Ops are hand-oicked to perfectly compliment each other”. Interesting. So there is SOME planning involved. These guys must train like motherfuckers...

Elms weapon looks so much like Olivia’s Im kind of wondering if RT is stealing my ideas right out of my head. 

Nora: I can’t decide which I like more, your muscles OR YOUR HAMMER

God fucking dammit Nora. 

So apperently Nora can now break time and space and become PERFECTLY STILL...that or Solitas finally froze her solid. 

Also the “we’re not friends” thing is...amusing but at the same time pointless. Soldiers make friends. It happens. They call each other “buddy” for a reason you know...so, one mark towards RT for not knowing how soldiers work. 

I get the feeling the whole “no friends” thing is indication they’re trying to say “oh if we have to sacrifice them for the mission we will” which...I guess works but. Eh. 

“Only the boring parts”. So your telling me Mistral has more INTERESTING places? Like...some kind of giant weapons factory maybe? Ehh? Eh. 

Also the sudden divergence of RWBY’s coherency is...interesting, and I feel may be forced by them fighting alongside the Aces. 

So Atlas has the exact same salute as most military's. What is it with that hand to the forehead that makes it so universally deployed. 

Marrow showing off to that Huntsman is amusing to me.  Also, Ironwood specifically calls the Aces “Huntsmen” here. Which I find intriguing. So, even here, its proof; they are not soldiers, they are Huntsmen first and foremost.  And THAT is all I need to know. 

Oh, so that’s who Tyrians killing. People who speak out against...Atlas... Oh well now. CLEVER. They’re trying to make Mantle rally and knock Atlas out of the sky aren’t they? I am honestly of two minds of this. We’ll see how its handled.

Ironwood is being really hard to hate for me right now. 

Looks like Winter’s ship was a Schnee model like the book said, just with flappy streamers cause...why not.  That being said the sharp four-nacelle design really does look good. 

The back LITERALLY looks like the fucking shuttle from Star Wars VI. Its literally a Lambda Class but BACKWARDS. 

GET HIS ASS IRONWOOD. BITCH SLAP THAT PASTY MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT INTO THE MINE. DO IT. DO IIIITTTTT.

Also, yes, Schnee, you know how the military works, right? I mean I wouldnt be surprised if you DIDNT since you know NO ONE ELSE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET SEEMS TOO. 

Upcoming election. Ohhh so he’s on the council too. Guess that makes sense.  ...Hmm. Interesting. Most interesting...

Ohhh the sudden SILENCE as he see’s Weiss. Rug tugged...and PULLED.

What the fuck was he doing with his finger there...looked like he was typing something. 

Blake and Yang look ready to fry and eat the fucker and I couldn’t agree more. 

Blah blah blah politics blah blah whatever. You DO realize if Mantle goes sour (like it probably will) they’re coming for YOUR ass too right Mr. J? And last I checked, Ironwood has friends.  I wonder if someone in Remnants invented a guillutine yet. 

Also I love the “yes I am holding hands with a faunus, eat shit dad” look on Weiss.

Interesting landing pad design. Must have been for lifting cargo containers, that dropship barely even sat on it fully. 

(And as Penny hits the ground we hear Double Kill, Triple Kill, OVERKILL) in the background)

Penny’s smile gives me life. 

Also she doesnt really STOP so much as “slow down”. The purity of her emotions are...pleasing to my jaded heart. 

Also how fitting of Ironwood to do a military parade ceremony for RWBY and JNR. I hope they get medals. 

Well, not quite but...they get official licences now if I had to guess. That’s cool too. 

It went by a bit too quick for me but I bet theres a reference somewhere in Ren’s licence number there under his name. 

Class L must mean Licensed. Interesting.

“Brothers know.” Ahhh, good, more reference for religios terminology

So now RWBYs fully deployed. Hell yeah. 

Adorable Irondaddy is adorable. 

I was about to say the cake is a lie but...there it is. Cake. Which Penny cuts with her blades (which are back I should notice, minus the wires as far as I can tell)

Good stuff all around...and here we go with the mental stuff with Ruby. SKIIIIPPPPPP

Wait no info on Summer yooo. And she went out on her own volition fucking good stuff

“Its an app now”. You’re...a couple years late with THAT joke, RT.

Penny 2.0.exe has stopped working please restart 

Marrow being the cocky asshole, as usual. 

Vine and Ren seem like they’ll get on well.  (Aw, we’re not gonna see Mantle at all are we...)

Marrows intentional mispronounciation of Jaune’s name is amusing but also forced.

Mantle has sewers. MANTLE HAS SEWERS.  OHHH FUCK YES METRO HERE I COME!

Also why is everyone laughing at Jaune, its a legitimate question. 

Biggest fucking ice cube in the history of ice cubes.

The look of fear on Jauque’s face gives me life. 

Ah so they know each other. I smell backstabbing slash... Oh. Oh ho...could it be they’re RELATED? Jauque Watts...

Intereting and more interesting.

And thats that.

[ai-adler-blog]

My thoughts on the 5th POTC movie, Dead Men Tell No Tales:

Shouldn’t Jack be around 60? He certainly doesn’t look 60. But then again, this is Johnny Depp we’re talking about.

Why is Will all fishy? Has he not been doing his job? In the “10 years later” scene from At World's End he looked normal...

How come this is the first time we hear about the Trident? I know it was just made up for this movie, but still...

So, On Stranger Tides happened fifteen years after At World's End!?

Who the hell is that witch? How come everyone knows her but she completely disappears from the movie after her introduction?

That's not how buildings work. And Jack must have burned off his pants and legs now.

Carina, reputed science woman, believes in the Trident.

What the hell is that red moon?

Jack has officially become a cartoon version of the character he used to be. Whatever happened to cunning Jack from the first movie?

How the hell does the compass free the ghosts?

Tia Dalma was the one who gave Jack the compass, not some other guy.

"Well, I wonder what epic tavern fight scene they'll engage in to get the compass back" "Oh doesn't matter the witch got it back right after he gave it away, somehow."

Seriously, Jack. What happened to you, man? Is it senile dementia+alcoholism? He's being getting dumber through the series.

The crew is just there to make sex jokes, isn't it?

If this was the Jack we all know and love, he would be trying to flirt with Carina, not tease Henry about liking her.

If that guy is the one that named Jack captain, shouldn't he also be the one to give him his nine piece of eight?

If every member of the crew gives him something for his outfit, it ruins the whole mystery of it.

Just because you throw a random piece of clothing to distract the sharks, doesn't mean they're not going to be distracted from it by you two going into the water.

The only moment we see the voodoo sword come into play is when they restore the Black Pearl. One would've thought it would become an important item to outrun or battle the ghosts.

Also, that's it? That's how you get the Pearl back? I hoped the adventure would center around it, being the fastest ship on the sea, as it could be the only one to face the ghosts, kind of how Will wanted the Pearl to get his father back... but nope.

Besides, it seems as if every ship now is as fast as the Pearl.

Of course Carina would turn out to be Barbossa's daughter... but when was she even conceived? She's around Henry's age, so she must've been conceived around At World's End, but at the end of it Jack and Barbossa parted ways and didn't meet again for many years... so how did Jack know Carina's mother?

So, Barbossa left his daughter a map leading to a treasure because he didn't think it was that important, and just wanted her to have the ruby?

If they let us know now that he has a daughter, is because they're gonna kill him in the end, isn't it?

That guy who's always with Salazar seems like he's just there for exposition.

I would've enjoyed the fight between Salazar and Sparrow a lot more if it wasn't so dark I couldn't distinguish between them.

How come Jack started going by Sparrow if Salazar gave him that nickname just before he died? How did he learn about it?

That magic island was kind of silly. What's the story behind it? We'll never know.

Carina and Henry flirting slightly is going to mean they're totally head over heels in love with each other at the end, isn't it? sigh.

Their legs should be bleeding after sliding on those rocks.

"Oh no, Henry's possessed!" "Oh wait now he's not."

That's a bit of a leap of faith to take, believing that by "dividing" the Trident every curse will be lifted.

I wonder what sort of epic fight will take place between the ghosts and the living... oh wait no Salazar just splashed Jack with water and Carina and Henry broke the Trident in two... that'll do it.

Of course Barbossa had to die. Once you're a parent in a Disney movie there's no escaping.

"Oh my God, you're my father. Oh my God, you're dead."

Weren't there other ways to get rid of Salazar? Jack we've seen you fight in the middle of a maelstrom, I'm sure you can fight on an anchor. You could've given us the epic battle this movie lacked of.

She says she's a Barbossa like she's all proud of it. BITCH YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

Seriously, Carina and Barbossa barely talked in this movie. There was no bonding between them.

If ghosts can possess humans, why didn't they possess someone to kill Jack while they were on that island? Was it because they can only possess at sea?

Jack could've told Henry more about his parents and their adventures. I guess Elizabeth already told him most things, but c'mon: "well, there's that one time your mother killed me..." "Wait, what!?"; "and also your father betrayed me..." "Wait, what!?"; "Aye, I married your parents" "Wait, what!?" The comparisons between Henry and his parents is a wasted oportunity. They didn't even say anything when Jack pulled out his gun when Henry drew his sword at him in what was a clear parallel to the first movie.

Who's going to tell Carina now that her father used to be an undead creature? And literally dead once before? And killed by Jack?

Uh... that slap...

Finally, Will! Where were you when the ghosts were about to kill your son? I need an explaination...

Will's not going to acknoledge Jack, who's on a ship next to his, after everything they've been through and helping save him from his curse?

Where's Bootstrap Bill?

"The Dutchman must always have a captain", but not anymore, I guess. After all the time they spent reminding us in the original trilogy...

What happened to Will's heart? Did he grow a new one? What happened to the one in the chest? Did it die? Did it turn to dust? Seaweed? Is his old one still beating in the chest and keeping him alive? Did it return to Will's chest somehow? Is Will a different kind of zombie now? If that bit at the end means Davy Jones is back, is his heart the one in the chest at the moment?

Will and Elizabeth made me cry. It's been ten years for me but TWENTY ONE FOR THEM. They were the only thing I enjoyed about this movie, aside from the slapstick from the guillotine.

Didn't Elizabeth use to be blonde?

You're not even going to wave farewell at Jack?

Davy Jones is back... somehow.

[dukeofriven]

Fun Jade/Rose Facts (Well... facts.)

Note: These facts are divided between “In-Comic” (Everything from Page 1 of Homestuck (A young man stands in his bedroom...) to page 8128 (The End) and “The Credits” (Pages 8129-8130). If I update this after the Epilogue, we’ll... cross that bridge when we get there.

In-Comic Jade/Rose Facts

Jade and Rose have only five conversations in the entire comic.

1 2 3 4 (2 pages) 5 (2 pages)

Conversation #4 is repeated. We see it first from Jade’s POV, then from Rose’s.

The number of conversations goes up to six if you count GrimBark Jade saying “Bark” and “Hey guys long time no see” to the assembled group in Act 6 Intermission 5 - but since Rose says nothing back, I am not counting this as a conversation.

You may do so if you wish.

After removing dialogue tags (like “TT”) and Pesterlog archival data (“ceased pestering” etc), their shortest conversation is their fourth at 80 words long.

Their longest one-on-one conversation is their third at 571 words long.

Their longest conversation is their fifth. It features Doc Scratch, and runs some 1,170 words long.

All told, about 2,711 words are exchanged in one-another’s chat windows. Discounting Doc Scratch’s intrusion into their final conversation, they speak 2324 words to one-another.

If you are counting the Grimbark conversation, add another 7 words.

6 if ‘BARK” is more of a sound.

By contrast, this single one-page Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory exchange between Dave, John, and Karkat runs some 2188 words - over a thousand words longer than any single Jade/Rose conversation, and only some 136 less than their entire conversation history.

Rose never speaks a single word to Jade aloud.

Rose never uses Jade’s name in conversation with her.

Jade and Rose "share the screen” 15 times during the comic. (I have excluded both Caliborn’s ‘Homosuck’ cutouts and his Plasticine maquette because A) they are facsimiles of an event recited by an even-more unreliable narrator than usual, not the real thing, and B) Seriously: Fuck That Guy)

One of these on-camera appearances was ret-conned out of existence.

In only seven of these appearances are both Jade and Rose conscious.

Here are all their on-camera appearances:

Act 6 Intermission 5

(Don’t think I ever noticed Gamzee hiding in the background before.) Act 6 Act 5

Act 7

(It’s tough to tell but I think the above photo is the closest Rose and Jade ever get in the comic.)

Rose never speaks to Jade again after their fifth conversation in Act 5 Act 2.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 6.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 7

Going off “page math” alone. here are some fun facts about Jade and Rose conversations:

5% - or about 1/20th of the comic - passes before Rose and Jade speak.

Rose and Jade spend 39% - 39/100ths - of the comic “in-touch” with one another.    

They spent the remaining 56% of the comic not talking.

Rose and Jade spend approximately 61% of Homestuck not in-contact, not in-touch with one another.

Counting the repeat conversation and a single still panel, there are only 9 pages in Homestuck where Rose and Jade are talking.

0.11072834645669291% of Homestuck - 5,536,417,323/5,000,000,000,000ths - (5.5 milliard billionths of the comic - 5.5 billion trillionths for our American readers. ~11/10000) is devoted to Rose and Jade’s “on-screen” relationship. And that’s counting a repeat conversation and a silent panel.

Rose and Jade “share” the screen - either while message-conversing or literally “in the same shot” in 20 pages of Homestuck.

That’s 0.24606299212598426% of Homestuck. About 24,606,299,213/10,000,000,000,000 (~1/400ths) of the comic.

Homestuck contains about 817,612 words.

Jade-Rose conversations all together comprise some 2779 words, taking into account that the fourth conversation is repeated twice.

Jade-Rose conversations comprise approximately 0.33989227163984875% of Homestuck’s text.

That’s 8497306791/2500000000000ths

Credits Jade/Rose Facts

There is no canonical evidence that Jade attended Rose’s wedding.

Seriously - she’s not there in the pictures. When all the kids are lifting the bride and bride up on chairs as part of the “thing done during the horah that isn’t actually part of the horah guess who just did a deep dive into the history of the horah did you know it’s from Greece via Romania and only dates back to 1930 as a traditional pan-Jewish custom it’s kind of like clan tartans in that it’s a cultural touchstone that feels ancient but isn’t” she’s... absent. Jake is in the picture twice once at the top, once in trickster mode on the bottom. Jade Harley: had better things to do than go to Rose’s wedding?

Jade and Rose are the only two kids to never be shown with Trickster modes.

This following photograph is the only conversation Rose and Jade ever have in-person in all the Homestuck franchise. It is their only moment of contact after Act 5 Act 2. We have no demonstrative way of proving that they ever conversed in-person before John’s 18th birthday party on Earth-C:

This is their only verbal conversation, and their only conversation to go textually unrecorded.

We have no way of proving that this is not Rose and Jade burying the hatchet after a... four year feud after Jade clumsily let Rose know her mother had been brutally murdered. 

This is 1.3297872340425532% of the entire credits video.

That’s 664893617/50000000000ths of the entire credits - because the only good joke is a cumbersome running joke.

BONUS: Snapchat Jade/Rose Facts

Welcome to the land of dubious canonicity. [Update 23/04/19: I’d like to note that I used this phrase before the Epilogues hit. Also, these are now officially outside of even the broader Homestuck meta-canon as far as anyone can tell. Radio silence on this remains aggravating. What were these and what did Andrew Hussie actually want?]

Do you remember the Snapchats? They didn’t stop being a thing or anything.

... well, they did, actually. Who knows if they’re canon any more. [Again: they are not]

That’s why this section is a bonus - its demi-canonical!

Man, remember when we were all excited that the future of Homestuck was going to be snapchats?

We were going to get so many snapped chats.

So many you guys.

Sigh.

Please no walking on the grass. That grass is only semi-canon. We are liable for damages with the rental company.

Jade and Rose appear together in one (1) snapchat photo:

I’m pretty sure this is the only Beta kids group shot in the entirety of Homestuck!

This Jade/Rose interaction comprises 1.5151515151515151% of all the snapchats.

That’s 946969697/62500000000ths.

That’s really all there is to say on the matter.

FAQ Will you cover the Epilogue?

I will, of course, update this most important resource if/when the Epilogue gives us any more Jade/Rose content. Statistically speaking, it won’t take up much space. You missed interaction [X]! Can I tell you about it?

Yes please! Thanks for letting me know, I will add it right away and update my maths.

You missed interaction [Caliborn’s Master Plan]! Can I -? You may not. This seems elaborate and kind of pointless - why would you do this? Because Jade/Rose is a ship and talking about the Jade/Rose friendship is a thing and I... uh... I didn’t get it. But now having done all this work I... ... I still don’t get it. I always questioned Jade/Rose because I said to myself “they don’t really interact much,” and now that I’ve sat down and run the numbers they really don’t interact much. Now if you’re wondering “did you run though every single conversation looking for the times Jade mentioned Rose or Rose mentioned Jade” the answer would be “ha ha ha that would be crazy of course I did.” I am very tired. And... they don’t talk about each-other much. I mean ‘actually’ talk - I’m not counting all the “hey do you know what Rose/Jade is doing” questions asked between the kids or the trolls (though there’s not that many, really) - I’m talking about actual conversations, like when John talks about how he feels about having to marry Rose according to the Shipping Chart or Karkat mutters that Jade maybe kind of meant something to him once. Jade has this to say about Rose - talking to, of all people, Eridan: GG: rose? GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!! GG: why would you think that?    CA: oh CA: wwell fuck CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you    GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others GG: just because you tend to hate and/or hit on everyone you meet doesnt mean everyone else is that way GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best!  It’s a very Harleybert sentiment. And sadly it doesn’t add up to anything. At the very least, Rose doesn’t think that much about Jade. Take it from me: a guy who literally went through every conversation Rose and Jade ever had with and about each other: Rose doesn’t think much about Jade. When Jade shows up sleeping at the end of act six lots of people talk about her: Rose’s only comment is to make a crack about Jade ending end-game ships when she wakes up, and also to note that there was Bird Dave and Dog Jade and Cat Rose but No [Animal] Egbert. That’s it. The most Rose ever has to say is the “she has the karma” conversation all the way back in Act 3 - and it’s still really about Dave. When GrimbarkJade shows up on LOLAR... Rose makes no comment whatsoever. Jade does not take the time to go see Rose when she wakes up in the ret-con timeline. Jade discusses Rose with John only in the context of John and his shipping chart destiny. Rose never seems to have anything to say about Jade to Dave or John. If these kids had had a normal sibling existence in the same high school and John had been hit by a car Jade would have remained friends with Dave but she and Rose would be revealed to not be all that close - their common point of friendship is John, not one-another. Rose talks about so much shit - but not about Jade. Jade might say Rose is “the best” but it’s Harley hyperbole more than anything: she didn’t even get Rose a birthday present because she says Rose is hard to shop for! Rose LaLonde is hard to shop for? What?

There. It’s an Emily the Strange t-shirt with Charles Dutton’s head. it took me ten seconds to come up with it you are welcome Jade. You want to ship Rose/Jade? Fuck yeah, man - go for it! You want to write an eighty thousand word fan-fiction on Rose and Jade: BFF Treasure Hunter Essayists? Sounds fucking rad please write that. You want to say that, canonically, Jade and Rose are great friends? I’m going to have to disagree. Homestuck is a story about four friends - it is not a story about four equally friendly friends. Maybe it was meant to be: not going to lie, I like Act 6 and the ending of Homestuck a lot but even I concede that Jade gets shafted in the “having shit to do” department - the fact that she sits out the big Giant Talky Session at the end of the comic? Weird as shit. If she was up and awake and had any kind of conversation with Rose where they seemed friendly and in-touch I would change my opinion in a heartbeat: I’m not some crank who hates Jade and Rose being best of friends because I’m a weirdo. I mean I am a weirdo but for other reasons, not this. No, I just don’t agree with the idea because it’s not supported by the text. Five conversations in seven acts? Less than 3,000 words exchanged in a document running into the hundred of thousands - and some of that repeat, and some of that the words of a giant cueball tool? If Andrew Hussie wanted us to believe that Jade Harley and Rose LaLonde are particularly close friends, he put no sign of that into the text. If I missed something please - tell me. Argue it with me, even, if you disagree with my assessment - or my math.I am not great at math. Regardless - reach out. We should talk about this more. Edit: Updated 10:38 EST April 12, 2019: corrected multiple typos, changed “dismissed” to “questioning,” clarified point about the horah to sound less weird.