nova-lightz · 2 years ago
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When something reminds me of Cherry Magic:
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yioh · 1 year ago
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thai drama industry was doing so damn well ALL these years creating interesting original content but boom all of a sudden we need to be making all these remakes 😐
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buckys-wintersoldier · 5 months ago
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Stuck with a God | Loki Laufeyson
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// Pairing // Loki Laufeyson x Agent!Female!Reader
// Summary // Loki gets imprisoned by Shield and he loves flirting with you. As much as he annoys you, even more does the Shield technology annoy you.
// Wordcount // 2.488
// Warnings // Explicit Content // 18+, Minors DNI, smut, kind of enemies to lovers, being stuck with Loki, bit of dub-con, fingering, squirting, CMNF, finger sucking / cum eating kinda, bit of housewife kink, praises
// Authors Note // This is my first time writing for Loki, so thanks to my amazing friend @jiyascepter for encouraging me to write for him.
// Events // Slumber Party: Sundae Bar | French Vanilla (stranded, looked in) and Black Cherry (Enemies to lovers) | @the-slumberparty | Bingo of your own | N4 | Stuck together | @thebo3bingo |
// Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson //
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     “Darlin’! Didn’t think I would see you today,” the black-haired man says, his smirk growing as you walk closer to the cell he is in. “Want to see me again before they bring me into another cell, my dear?”
     You roll your eyes, earning a chuckle from the man. Since they brought him into the cell earlier that day, he flirts with you whenever you’re around. Or at least it’s what you think he is doing; maybe he just tries to convince you to let him out and let him rule the world — something you won’t do unless your boss will force you to.
     “Didn’t miss you; I just have to get something, and then I will be back doing my work,” you answer him, walking further through the room.
     Loki Laufeyson, god of mischief — at least what he said — walks up and down his cell, his green eyes following every little movement.
     “Oh, darling—“
     “Stop that flirting and let me do my job. You’re annoying, and I’m done with you, Loki,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief about that man.
     His lips are still curled up, and his eyes are glistening. As much as he annoys you, he has something that makes your knees weak — mystic and magical.
     “My dear, come here. Look at me when you tell me that you’re done with me. Are you done with me, darlin’, or do you only want everyone to think that?” His voice is low, his head falling forward, and he looks up, looking even more handsome than before.
     “No, don't even think that. You’re not that interesting to me,” you groan, frustrated that you’re stuck in that conversation. Too nice to just ignore him and too annoyed to continue talking to him.
     “Not interesting to you? I’m Loki — god of mischief — from Asgard! Everyone wants me. Oh, that sweet maid in Asgard — you should have seen her, darling. She begged me, but she wasn’t interesting to me,” Loki says, chuckling softly at your expression.
     How can he dare to tell you such an intimate story about one of the maids who is working for them? But to finally let him know that you’re not interested in his idiotic ass, you make your way closer to the entrance of the cell. Loki is grinning at you and walking in his cell to the entrance as well.
     When you reach it, he places his hand against the glass, waiting for you to tell him that you’re not interested in him. His green eyes remind you of a snake, staring into yours and glistening mischievously.
     “I’m not inter— How?” You almost shout at him when he is suddenly in front of you — without glass in between you. “FUCKING SHIT! How do— GO BACK INTO THE CELL!”
     Loki laughs softly, his white teeth visible. His tongue darts out, and he slides it across his plump lips before closing his mouth and leaning a bit further down.
     “Make me, darling. I’m a god; you think that little cell stops me from breaking out? How sweet,” he says in a teasing tone.
     You place your hands immediately on his chest, feeling the muscles tensing underneath your soft touch, before you push him back into the cell. Actually, you learned to not do things like that — never touch a criminal or get too close to him — they could use it to their advantage.
     A loud sound behind you makes you flinch, and you look around. The door behind you shuts, and your eyes widen when you realize that you’re stuck in a cell with the enemy. And not just one enemy; you’re stuck with Loki.
     “Stay away!” You grumble, letting go of him to take a step backwards and look for your card, which opens literally every door in a shield compound. You reach your card, finally able to get out of the cell again — you just need to find out how he managed to open the door and walk out of the cell.
     “Darling, don't you want to give me some company? That hurts my feelings; I thought you changed your mind and wanted to stay in that cell with me,” Loki says, his eyes still following every movement of yours while you walk to the door and press your card against the small display next to it.
     His lips curl up when the door doesn’t open. You try again, pressing the card against the display again. Once again, the door stays closed, and you groan frustrated — why can’t the technology work like it should?
     “Doesn’t work, darling? Do you need my help?” Loki asks, his tone teasing, and you roll your eyes once again. At some point, you’re sure you can roll your eyes all the time, but right now you’re just annoyed about the technology and him being such a dick.
     “I don’t need your help! Can you just shut up for a moment?” You ask through gritted teeth. You turn around, wanting to face the black-haired man, but the cell is empty, and you wonder if he broke out once again.
     You hiss and almost jump when you feel a warm breath against your neck. Long arms wrap around your waist, and a broad but small chest is suddenly pressed against your back. You can feel Loki’s nose sliding over the soft skin of your neck; a low chuckle leaves his lips when he pulls you even closer.
     A shiver runs down your spine; you want to lean more into his embrace. His warmth and scent envelope you. Loki feels just so good that you want more of him and more of his touches.
     “You like that, don’t you, darling?” He asks, his breath hitting your skin and causing goosebumps all over your body. It shouldn’t feel so good; you shouldn’t stay in his embrace; he shouldn’t touch you like that — Loki is still the enemy, but the two of you look now like he isn’t just that; it looks like the two of you are so much closer.
     “L—Loki, let go of me. H—How did you escape here? Wh—“ You interrupt yourself when you feel his long fingers moving over your stomach, higher to your chest.
     “I didn’t escape, but I told you — I’m a god, darling. I never escaped here; you opened the door with your card; you pushed just an imagination of mine into the cell. And now that you’re here with me, stuck in this cell, don’t you think we should just continue where we stopped?” Loki asks, his voice quiet, and he presses his soft lips against your neck.
     You shake your head, even though you don’t feel like that. You just can’t be that close or intimate with the enemy. He grumbles behind you, pressing you even closer against his chest, and you can feel his growing bulge pressing against your ass.
     Your eyes widen, pussy throbbing, but you can’t just give in to him, can you? Loki is thrusting his hips forward, chuckling against you, when a soft moan escapes your lips.
     “You like that?” You nod lightly, his fingers gracing over the fabric of your t-shirt to your chest. Loki moves his hands over the swell of your breasts, cupping them in his large palms, and when you look down, your breath hitches.
     His hands are so big, thin, but long fingers — they cause the most filthy thoughts you ever had. You inhale deeply. A moment later, you think about pushing him away, telling him to stop that, and that there are cameras, but you know that they won’t work when the display to unlock the cell doesn’t work either.
     Loki feels you tensing in his arms; he kneads your soft breasts in his hands, causing you to throw your head back.
     “N—Loki, please,” you whine, feeling his hard cock still pressing against you. He thrusts his hips forward, making you squeal. His hands are squeezing your tits more.
     “Changing your attitude is exactly how I like it. What do you need, darling?” His tone is teasing. You nod your head, now knowing what to say. Loki laughs, suckling at your neck while his hands snake back to your waist. “Tell me, darlin’.”
     “L—Loki, please, n-need you,” you whimper. You feel so pathetic, begging the enemy to touch you, to fuck you. His hands and his lips feel like the softest thing you have ever felt, and you need him to continue touching you. You need to know how talented those fingers are.
     “Look at you, melting in the enemy's embrace, needing his fingers, don’t you?” He mocks you, laughing softly when he picks you up. He carries the two of you to the bench on the other end of the cell, sitting down before he places you in his lap.
     Loki’s hands hold you in place, his hard crotch pressing against your ass, and you wiggle lightly, earning a low groan from the man behind you. His fingers are digging into your sides, pressing you further down on him to keep you still.
     His lips trail along your neck once again, and he then smirks miraculously once again. And suddenly… you’re naked in his lap. Your clothes are nowhere around, and you can feel the leather of his suit underneath your sensitive skin.
     “L—“
     “Come on, spread those pretty legs for your favorite god, darling,” he grumbles, his fingers sliding along the inside of your thighs as he spreads your legs apart.
     Loki reveals your throbbing pussy; his left hand is holding your one leg, and he squeezes your thigh, while his other hand inches closer to where you need him the most.
     His long finger slides through your folds, and you moan softly, throwing your head back against his shoulder. Loki circles your clit, pinching it lightly between his fingers before he moves his long fingers further down to your entrance.
     “So wet, ‘s that all for me, dalin’? Pussy’s drippin’ for me,” he says, kissing his way along your neck to your ear. His fingers coated in your arousal, he slowly pushes one finger into your entrance. You moan loudly, arching your back. Loki’s finger slips deeper into your tight pussy.
    “Doing so well; look at you, sweetheart. Taking my finger like you’re made for that, aren’t you?” Loki praises you, pushing deeper into you while curling his finger. He starts pumping it in and out of you, earning soft moans and whimpers from you.
     Your hands gripping his thighs, the cold leather feeling perfectly underneath your hot skin. And having him completely dressed while you’re naked turns you on beyond belief.
     Lokis circles your clit with his thumb, adding another finger to your cunt. Your breath gets heavier, you rock into his hand, and the coil in your stomach tightens with every moment of his long fingers inside of you.
     The black-haired man hits your sweet spot every time, the pads of his fingers sliding over it, causing an intense feeling to build up in your lower stomach. A feeling you never had before, not when you fucked yourself with a toy and never with another man.
     “Doing so well, darling. Squeezing my fingers so good, can’t wait to fuck you, probably. Yeah, that’s what you like? Being fucked by a god, don’t you, darling?” Loki asks; his eyes darken lightly, but since you’re with your back toward him, you can’t see them.
     “P—Please, so close. LOKI!” You almost shout; you're just about to come all over his fingers. You don’t know how you ended up in that situation, but right now you can’t care about that. Everything you want and need is Loki, his fingers curling inside of you and bringing you closer to the edge.
     The sound of your wet pussy and his fingers pumping into you in a steady rhythm echoes through the cell. He speeds up, loving the way your walls cling around his fingers, sucking his thin, long fingers even deeper. “Come on, sweetheart, come all over my fingers like the good girl you are.”
    With that, you do as you’re told, your pussy clenching around his fingers. Loki massages your sweet spot with his digits while you come all over his fingers. Your juices squirt all over his palm and fingers, landing on the ground of the cell.
     “F—Fuck, please, keep going, please, Loki,” you beg, thrusting your hips against his hand while you ride out your orgasm.
     He can’t stop his movements just now; you need him to fuck you through your orgasm — and that’s what he does. Curling his fingers steadily inside of your pulsing cunt, he thrusts slowly into you while you breathe heavily.
     You have been moaning like a whore since he started to fuck you with his finger. But you don’t care; he feels too good to think properly.
     “Didn’t think about it, darlin’. Doing so good for me, gonna keep you and take you with me to Asgard; make you my sweet little wife and fuck you whenever and wherever I want,” he groans, his eyes rolling slightly back when he thinks about that idea. A low moan escapes his pink lips, and he smirks. “You’re already so cock drunk, you can’t even think about it properly. Just say yes, darling.”
     You nod your head, your hips still moving against this hand, while you don’t really notice what he is saying. As long as he keeps his fingers inside of you. “Yes, please.”
     “Whining and begging like a pathetic little housewife, that’s what you are. My sweet little housewife.” He kisses your neck once again, sucking a purple mark into your skin. “All mine, darling, and everyone can see it.”
     Even with your protests, Loki pulls his fingers out of you, holding them up to show you your arousal dripping down his fingers. You blush slightly, watching Loki bring his fingers closer to his face. You turn your head, looking at him while he takes them into his mouth, sucking and licking them clean.
     “Tasting perfect, darling,” he hums more to himself before he moves his hand, and you’re suddenly dressed again.
     Your eyes widen, reality hits you, and you jump off his lap. You immediately miss his warmth, a cold shiver running down your spine while you consider getting back into his lap or staying away from him. This is just a short moment, because as much as you should stay away from him, as much as you crave and need this black-haired man.
     “That’s my girl. Now let’s get out of this cell and make you my pretty little housewife,” he says, smirking at you when your back is pressed against his chest once again. And just as he tells you, he is doing exactly that, making you his wife — and luckily, you’re not the only one addicted to the other one. A god can be just as addicted and craving like a human.
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// Taglist // @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles
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writingmeraki · 1 year ago
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hazy eyes, clear thoughts I
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a roronoa zoro imagine !
synopsis : in which letting your drunken mouth spill your sober thoughts leads you to a very unexpected consequence. ( read: everyone saw it coming except you and **** )
pairing : opla!zoro x gn!reader, idiots to lovers!
genre : disgustingly fluffy fluff, five tablespoons of angst and probable romance.
warnings : cussing, mentions of alcohol and getting wasted, zoro kinda mean, probably terrible humour, shit ton of giggling, also very all over the place but kinda cute? not entirely proofread, also lmk if I forgot to add any other warning !
author's note : well oh well, look we have another totally not self indulgent zoro oneshot/drabble/imagine n e ways I hit a sort of weird point of the series, I'm stuck but i am like 87% done with ch 1?? i hope I'll be able to do it soon enough ^^ tysm for ur patience !! let me know what you think of this! also PART 2?!? ( I need to know if people wanna read this randomness further 😆😅🤣👍🏽)
word count : 4.8k
gif creds !
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 “Oh-kay! I think that’s enough!”
You frowned when Nami took the drink from your hand, whining in protest when she kept it further away which she knew your drunken self would be unable to reach.
“B-but it’s good, it’s making me happy!” You giggled as you pointed at yourself and then pouted, pulling your manipulative tactic, one you did a lot when you wanted something especially one you did when you were shit-face drunk. 
With large doey eyes, you pleaded at her, “You don’t want me to be sad right? I’ll be sad if you don’t give me- that.” You pointed in a direction you thought she placed the beer but of course, it was way off.
“See, you can’t even make out where I’ve placed the beer! I don’t care if it makes you upset and honestly, it was fun to see you make a fool out of yourself, but now it’s just…sad.” She sighed, a tone of sympathy as she finished her sentence,
“I know why you’re drinking and it’s not a good way to distract yourself from your feelings! Drinking worsens the problem!” She scolded you to which you now felt a small anger form within you.
“Well then, how else am I supposed to get rid of this dread and just stupidity huh? Being sober is a constant reminder!” 
“Your feelings aren’t stupid! You like him, I’d say even love! You can’t just assume your feelings are invalid not until you know how the other person feels!” Your best friend felt a rage you’d feel if you saw someone you care about demean their feelings, a sort of anger at them hidden with laces of sympathy.
“He doesn’t fucking care! He only cares about his promises and that’s…that’s his life, his own…way of living so it’s fine!”
“Feelings to him are just…distractions.” You gulped as you recalled the way he replied to Luffy when the Captain was teasing him about falling in love. 
[ a few moments ago ]
“Zoro, don’t you think you should consider finding a partner, don’t you also want to fall in love and experience all the magical things that come with it?” Luffy teased as you all sat around a barrel, deciding to just hang out after a busy day. 
Zoro had a beer in one hand as he took a sip and then rolled his eyes, you’d been seeing his reaction, undoubtedly your heart picking up its pace when you heard the question. 
“I don’t need love, or call it a partner if you will. I already have enough on my plate, all that so-called magical stuff is just a distraction.” He replied, with no hesitation which left no option but for the listeners to believe his words.
Just because he’d spoken his opinion, it didn’t mean it hurt less. You knew it though, from the start that Zoro was a determined individual. Despite having his own goals, he also cared about others like Luffy even though he didn't show it much, less that he said it verbally.
It was what made you like him in the first place. After all, what’s more, better than a man who knows what he wants, is determined to get what he wants, cares for those he considers his friends, and the bonus cherry on top being he was quite easy on the eyes too. 
A whole package indeed. 
And you didn’t even know when your supposed “I admire him as a person to look up to” turned into “Oh, I think I am in love with him.” 
But ah, that’s the beauty of love and all the magical stuff, isn’t it? You never know when you’ll be the one who finally falls into it.
That’s why, after hearing his words, you felt your heart sink just a little. Screw it, you think you felt it weigh a shit ton and sink to the very pit of your stomach. 
Nami, oh Nami, what a friend she was truly, because immediately her eyes darted to you after Zoro’s words and she saw your expression go down just as quickly as Zoro downed his bottle of beer. 
Luffy chuckled, of course, he would, the poor lad was just teasing in the first place anyway to irk Zoro and obviously, he didn’t know about poor old you’s feelings. 
I think I need to go. 
It sucked how you couldn’t refute against him. How you couldn’t yell that love is not just a “distraction”, love is something that makes one feel more…human. Love is a wonderful thing and how if someone were to experience it, it makes you feel….it makes you feel just happy at being in the presence of the one you, love. Just…love is not…it’s not-
“Uh guys,” You piped up after sensing the tense atmosphere, tense to you anyway since you felt like a seashell was clogged up your throat. 
“I’m gonna go…get some fresh air. Yeah uh- I’ll be behind if you need me.” You abruptly got up, smiling tightly at Luffy, purposefully avoiding Nami’s questioning yet pitiful look and harshly blatantly ignoring how Zoro’s attention turned towards you, about to question you too, his face showing the emotions he’d not show before 5 bottles of beer. 
Sighing quietly, you picked up the drink you’d been downing, still having an adequate portion in it and you thought about it, saying fuck it as you grabbed two more from the stack that was in the middle.
“Continue with…your shenanigans,” You turned around and let your emotions finally show on your face, words repeatedly swinging in your head as you tried to filter them out. 
It’s nothing but a distraction.
And now, a few bottles (2) and a whole lot of giggling later, you may have truly begun to take Zoro’s words seriously. 
“I feel sick, perhaps it’s my heart breaking, see it hurts here the most.” You groaned as you looked out into the sea, pointing to your chest, though inaccurate as you held your right side, the sun appearing as a blurry blight light due to your vision becoming hazier as you got more drunk.
Nami sighed at you, realizing you should probably just be made to go to bed, despite it being only a few hours away from actual nightfall.
“Come on, let’s go, you’ve thought enough,” She stood up, having been sitting beside you on a barrel while you’d been sitting on the same.
She pushed her hand outwards towards you, to which you giggled and you were pretty sure your cheeks ached now. 
“Namii~how do you have-” you pointed your finger out, counting the fingers “-ten fingers! On one hand?!” You continued staring at her hand in awe as she rolled her eyes, a small grin on her face, finding your drunken self a tiny bit cute. 
Suddenly you felt your world stumble as she grabbed you and pulled you upwards, you now decided you did not know how to walk and leaned your entire body weight on her. 
Now, Nami wasn’t a weak person but considering how you were more on the taller side than her while also being a bit more buff due to the immense training you did every day to practice your own skills, you did weigh more.
She quickly made you sit back down when she realized she couldn't possibly carry you, she needed help.
"Stay here 'kay? I'll be back." She told you to which you obediently nodded, which made a genuine grin form on her face.
Maybe she did prefer drunk you who'd follow her orders with no protests.
You looked back at the sea, the sun even lower than before, a type of golden shining on the blues that reminded you of a certain someone's earrings and oh, there it was.
Your thoughts slowly getting consumed by the moss head who despite drinking so much to forget was so embedded deep into your memory and probably heart at this point that even the slightest similarity you saw, be it colors or flowers, reminded you of him. 
Ah, that's love and all its magical stuff am I right? 
Sighing, she made her way back to where the rest of them were, the crew picking up on her presence,
"Where's Y/N? Weren't you bringing them?" 
"Well, for one they are SHIT face drunk, I don't think they are even conscious of where they are right now so I'll need to take them to bed but also, I can't carry them alone." 
She rolled her eyes at the stupidity of drowning yourself in your feelings, quite literally but she knew she wouldn't complain to the rest of them or more so she couldn't.
"Well I'm sure, one of us can help-"
"I'll help you carry them." Zoro interrupted your captain who was just about to suggest him. If there was one who could probably carry anything heavy too, it was him of course. 
Nami eyed him curiously, she did know he wasn't ready to do…kind deeds, not unless it helped him in some way. Though, she thinks, you may just be an exception.
He stood up and walked towards where you were, which was at the back, Nami followed suit to which he turned towards her.
"It's alright if you don't come, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to carry them myself." He said it and Nami narrowed her eyes, half out of suspicion and half out of spite after hearing the cocky undertone to his words. 
Proving that was one corner of his lips being turned upwards, forming an annoyingly handsome smirk that if you saw it, you'd probably be more on the brink of absolutely losing it.
"Take care of them and if they are hurt-" Zoro rolled his eyes at the over-exaggeration, and Nami knew that but as your best friend and a platonic soulmate at this point, she felt she had to say something. 
"I don't mean it that way, you know damn well what I mean." She told firmly, to which a slight confusion did flash in Zoro's eyes but he didn't make it obvious as he glared at her, ready to bicker.
"Nami!" Luckily, Luffy's timing seemed impeccable as he called her, to which she turned around, allowing no further talk.
Zoro just brushed off her words and moved to where you were.
Despite, Zoro admitting to never wanting a partner, it didn't mean though, that he didn't feel. 
He cared. He cared enough for Luffy to stick with him. He cared enough to fulfill a promise. 
And he cared for you too as he saw you sleeping soundly, laying your head on the ship, using your hands as a makeshift pillow. 
And yet, he somehow knew it was different. It was different from how he cared for others. 
He gulped as he moved closer, now being able to see your features being highlighted by the afterglow of the sun setting. 
It was as though you were the sun's favorite child at the moment, touching parts of your face softly, careful enough to not awaken you yet enough to rest on it to make it golden. 
The evening breeze couldn't have picked a better time to pass as strands of your hair messily moved, your face scrunching up in disturbance. 
He didn't even perceive how he'd reached you and was actually touching strands of your hair to push them back in place so as to not disturb your sleep. 
He wasn't even a gentle person, but he was using soft fingers with even softer touches to push them back. 
He figured he should in fact take you back to your bed, well shared bed with Nami. 
Deciding there was no need to wake you up, he moved beside you, putting one arm underneath your knees while the other looped just above your waist and below your chest. 
You blinked open your eyes when you felt yourself floating, it seemed like you were floating for a brief second, engulfed by warm clouds and a nice pillow that was-
You looked up and saw the side profile of someone. 
They seemed familiar. 
A glint of gold caught your eye as you put your left arm up and poked the earring, giggling as you saw it move.
"Wow, pretty," You think you'd seen it but your eyes being hazier than before after your mini nap seemed to only make your vision more blurry.
The sudden exhale and whisper down his neck almost made Zoro trip as he didn't really expect you to be up.
He was just near your shared room.
"Where are you taking me? Who are you?" You asked the important questions now, your mushed brain being able to form somewhat coherent thoughts. 
"You- you don't know who I am?" He asked you, confusion in his features and then remembering why you were lost. 
Right, practically wasted. And apparently memory loss due to being wasted.
He pushed the door open, as flimsy as it was, careful to not eventually break it down.
You looked around your surroundings, now even more lost as to where you actually were.
You squealed as he let you down, immediately realizing it was a terrible idea when you almost toppled over, unable to hold your own weight as he pushed his arm around your waist.
You held onto the man's shirt as you tried not to trip and fall.
"Here I'll just- I'll get you to bed." He guided you towards your bed, hand still wrapped around your waist as he looped yours over his neck. 
You plopped down with your eyes shut, your head began spinning when you almost tripped and you groaned in regret.
"Drinking too much was such a bad idea, like all my decisions lately." You put your hand on your forehead as you tried to rub the forming headache away. 
Hearing a walking sound, you peered your eyes open. Half-open anyways as you still couldn't make out well anything.
You could see the supposed stranger who'd help you till your bed was going to turn around and likely go but at that moment, you decided you didn't really want to be…alone.
Grabbing his hand before he moved away, you pulled him back with all your force. It didn't phase his movements much though other than him halting. 
Zoro turned back to you after deciding he should probably leave before he either said something he'd regret or worse, did something he'd regret. 
It wasn't his fault though with how…cute you looked as you plopped down, making him want to ki-
"Stay…please." You whispered to him, still holding onto his wrist as you blinked at him.
A familiar green color sat on top of his head but you figured it was a common color despite being sober you absolutely made fun of it when you could about how uncommon it was but also whined about how unfairly good it looked on him. 
The same him who looked at you in confusion and disbelief,
"You want me to stay, right now? With you?"
“Of course! I feel quite alone right now, maybe the company will make me feel better here.” You let go of his arm, the loss of your colder hand in contrast to his warm skin making him slightly frown. 
You pointed at your chest, surprisingly getting it right this time by pointing toward your left side.
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “Does your chest hurt or something?” 
There was a slight concern in his tone, one which made you giggle. 
“Not- not physically silly, it’s- it’s my heart, it feels like it’s been gutted- wait no too- too gruesome, it feels like someone just punched it and it broke.” As you blubbered about your heartbroken state, your words made him more curious and concerned.
He decided he should probably hear you out, after all despite not being a great talker, he’d consider himself a decent listener. 
Grabbing the barrel you used as a chair placed under your makeshift desk, he moved to sit beside your bed. 
“It’s ridiculous. I should have known there was no chance, but it isn’t like you get a choice sometimes on how you should feel about someone, it just…happens.” You spoke softly, as Zoro turned his attention toward you, wondering who was this person who’d caused you to feel so…sad. 
He didn’t realize it but he felt a slow anger build up, one he excused as frustration due to your mumbling but not one out of simply, probably, jealousy.
Yes, he was jealous of….this person because it sure as hell seemed as though you were deeply in love to have been feeling like this. 
Ironic.
“Why do I even like him?” Oh, he definitely did not want to hear you talk about him, he decided.
Screw being a good listener, he was already in a crisis when Luffy put him on the spot asking about whether he’d want a lover or not, and then him trying his best not to divert his gaze towards you, so instead he chose an option ( one he’d regret later on ) and gave a seemingly believable answer. 
Maybe a while ago, he’d have stuck to that answer, and actually no, he was sticking to it, quite well too.
That was until you stumbled onto the crew or more like in true Luffy fashion, were persuaded enough to stay. 
At first, he didn’t care enough. It was more so he didn’t particularly like you too. You were what he was not. Careless, overly enthusiastic at times, and way too optimistic for your own good. You looked to see the good in everyone, believing that there was always some sort of goodness in everyone.
Zoro found that stupid, knowing how reality was always different. Everyone is and will always be selfish for their own greed. He was too, he wanted to fulfill his promise and that was it. 
That was his goal and nothing else really mattered to him.
It’s what he thought would remain the same till he accomplished it but a sudden diversion came in the form of well…you.
He didn’t even realize it but the annoyance he’d get when he heard your lame jokes turned into him looking away from your silly smile to try and hide his own forming grin.
How he’d always automatically be looking for you if they’d stop at an island, choosing to follow you and dismissing Nami’s suspicious glances by saying you’d likely do something stupid that might put everyone in danger if left alone.
It was funny what this could make anyone feel. He didn’t ever feel like this, he didn’t even want to admit he was close to feeling but how long could a person remain in denial?
He was in love with you. 
He couldn’t simply excuse his heart racing at your presence as simply annoyance, he couldn’t excuse finding pretty flowers and them reminding him of you as well….yeah you get the point. 
That revelation honestly made him spiral into a sort of existential crisis. 
So he decided it was best to do one thing.
Ignore it. Ignore everything and simply wait until it all fades away. 
But silly him, he didn’t know one thing about love and he assumed it was something that fades away, yet there it was, in his gaze as it softened and in his heart as it sunk slowly like an anchor. 
Clogging his throat as if he couldn’t simply breathe when you admitted to being in love with someone, someone who wasn’t him.
Ah love and its magical stuff, yet why does he feel like it's more of a curse right now? 
He opened his mouth, and closed it again, resembling a fish and it felt like he wanted to say everything yet nothing.
They probably don’t deserve you. 
The thought resonated in his head, but really who was he to say so because did someone like you even deserve him?
Turning to face him completely, ducking your hand under your head, you blinked at him slowly, a grin forming on your face as you saw the stranger’s hair.
“You…you remind me of him, your hair, it’s that ugly color.” You softly giggled to which Zoro was left in yet a contradiction of emotions, whether or not he should feel offended or light over the sound of your soft giggles. 
Wait. 
“Come closer, I’ll tell you a secret.” He blinked at you, trying not to show any emotions and wondering if you’d ever even talk to him like this sober.
Deciding to follow what you said, something he’d never do if you were sober, he leaned in, putting one arm as support to hold him due to the slightly uncomfortable position. 
“I- don’t laugh at me first of all, it’s ridiculous, Nami says I’m being too much of a coward not saying it upfront.” You looked at him to which he nodded, in your mind you presumed it was reassurance and agreeing to not find you ridiculous.
Somehow, despite you not knowing who was in front of you, your heart was picking up in pace and you felt a slight nervousness, actually, you almost felt like throwing up.
As if you were just about to actually…
“I think, actually no, I am definitely in love with Zoro.”
…confess to Zoro. 
Good thing, Zoro had quick reflexes because he felt his arm slip and if it weren’t for those quick reflexes, he’d have fallen face-first into the ground. He sat up straighter as if what he heard had physically burned him. 
“It sounds ridiculous, falling in love with someone like him but he’s actually a very loveable person, at least once he begins to get more…more comfortable around you. He talks less, shows emotions or any reactions even less, always carrying around a bitch face- Nami says so- but-but he also cares through his actions like-like that one time he found Luffy’s straw hat when he thought he lost- he spent hours helping him look for it and trying to keep Luffy from crying and then, then this other time he stayed up all night when I got hurt and wasn’t able to sleep. And-and there’s sooo many other times he’s done, the small things, he cares for that.”
“You know. I think that was when I knew I loved him.  When he didn’t need to stay up, yet he did to make sure I didn’t die or something.” You finished with a soft giggle as memories of that day flashed in front of your closed eyes. 
Suddenly he felt way warmer than the room was. 
“I know, I know you’ll…you’ll call me stupid for loving someone who’s already in fact rejected me, not-not to my face of course but indirectly I suppose.”
Wait, what?
Rejected you?
How could he do that when- when he didn’t-
“I hate this! I hate the way I feel, it- it’s making me feel pathetic.” Your words slurred as you whined, using your makeshift pillow to groan into.
“Who said love is magical? It’s pathetic! It makes you stupid enough to have stupid hopes that only make you fly high until suddenly the actual reality crashes you down hard.” You spoke somberly, your words slowly fading out as you gave into the alcohol-induced sleep.
“Love is…pathetic. But- but I love him. So much. I love…you.” The last word came out as a hush as you exhaled, shutting your eyes and letting go of the pillow as you finally got knocked out. 
It pained him to see you call yourself pathetic…all while being the reason you felt that way. 
Zoro was conflicted. The contradiction of emotions making him all do,
Nothing. 
He was frozen. He couldn't say a word, couldn't raise his hand to rub your back to perhaps comfort you. 
His mind was in more chaos, your words replaying like a loop. 
And finally, he came to a conclusion.
I need a drink. Fuck, maybe even three. 
Perhaps if you were awake, it’d be a different reaction. Perhaps if you weren’t drunk, you’d have not said it. 
The idea of you then getting over him, probably because you’d think he rejected you indirectly due to his words. This left a more bitter aftertaste in his mouth and mind than the beer he just downed.
He left your side, deciding he needed a breather to process what he’d just been told. He made sure you’d be in a comfortable position, placing your arms to your sides and even draped a sad excuse of a blanket, one that you brought yourself of an old woman when you had stopped at an island and one you loved, sad excuse because it was very thin but apparently you couldn’t sleep without it. 
He had turned back to you, one more time, about to say something but he just sighed and turned around, walking away to where he was now. 
Now, almost halfway through the crate of beers, he still couldn’t get rid of the confusion. 
Did- did you mean it?
It was conflicting because for one you said it under the influence, maybe you’d even meant someone else and just said his name by mistake. He hated that, so he chose to focus on you saying it solely for him. 
“Why-just why are you trying to die of alcohol poisoning? What is up with you idiots drinking like maniacs today?” A voice said in both disgust and concern as she walked up beside him, facing the sea, and then looking at him, the concern being evident as she saw the conflict of emotions on his face.
She knew he wasn’t one to speak up, it was rather his body language and eyes that spoke what he felt. 
He just sighed, taking a smaller sip of the drink, placing both arms on the side of the ship, and observing the waves.
Nami truly wondered what could have happened until she realized. 
“Did something happen with Y/N?” She cooly asked, observing his expression and surely enough a change of emotion was seen with the way he suddenly stiffened up.
“Nothing remarkable–”
“Oh cut the crap Zoro, you look like someone stole your fucking swords and threw them into the sea.” 
Now he turned towards her, a slight look of horror while he narrowed his eyes at her,
“That’s oddly specific.”
“Won’t deny anything. But, don’t change the topic.”
“They told’ you something?” She figured she should just straight up ask it, put it out in the blue, out of the bad.
Zoro contemplated whether he should spill it, feeling like maybe it would be invading your privacy but even if he didn’t want to admit it, he needed some sort of advice. 
“They- uh told me they lo- well see-” He shifted his attention back to the sea, finding it hard to say it to her face without giving away much. 
Technically you confessed but also you didn’t? You ranted about being in love with Zoro and how you wished you didn’t, you did that thinking you were spilling it to a stranger but it was the man himself so is that a confession? 
“So they finally did it?” He turned towards her raising his eyebrows in question, “They confessed?” 
Now he was surprised but how accurate she was, “ They are too coward- no offense- to do it while sober so ‘figured from the way you look like” She pointed towards his face with her finger “They either kissed you, which doesn’t seem evident from your face not being smothered with lipgloss, they confessed.” 
He gulped from his active imagination flashing a picture of you kissing him and how-
“But why are you so freaked out then? Shouldn’t you be happy your silly little crush is mutual?”
“It wasn’t a confession. More like a rant, they thought I was someone else and they basically spewed it all, and wait what do you mean mutual- I don’t uh-”
“Oh don't give that bullshit now. I know- in fact, even a blind person could see how in love you are with them.” 
Zoro didn’t know whether to get offended or embarrassed if it were really that obvious. He exhaled heavily, clearly not satisfied with the situation still. 
“What if they don’t even remember? What if they begin to ignore me because they think I don’t like them?” 
“Well you did say you weren’t looking for a partner or so on, did you forget that idiot?” Nami shook her head as she rolled her eyes at him.
“I-well- It wasn’t intentional! I panicked!”
“And now this is your consequence. Though there’s a simple solution to this crisis which isn’t a crisis actually, it’s pretty straightforward.”
Now he was curious, a way to solve this whole catastrophe? 
“Since you think they’ll forget by morning, how about you confront them then?”
“In the morning, you clear out your feelings before you dumbasses end up avoiding each other to purposefully brush this aside and I swear! I swear if it gets awkward because you both won’t look past your egos, I’ll force you into the damn cabin and lock you there to talk.”
Nam smiled sweetly, yet a threat underlined beneath her final words and Zoro thought of the only thing he should do now.
“Fine then.”
“I’ll talk. I’ll…confess to everything.”
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christinebloodwrittings · 6 months ago
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To hunt or be hunted #11
Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: Drinks with Alastor turned the heat up! Warnings: Gore, blood, Smut.
Thank you so much to the amazing @hazelfoureyes she's the author of the smut here! She was an amazing help for this, so go to her profile and give her lots of love!! Her masterlist
Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink @sibsteria @cherry-cola-100 @readergirlstuff @phoenixica24 @martinys-world @alientee @jellyroom2 @jewelsrules @ladyzaunis @zealousllamawolf @kittycat246 @shamblezzz @looking1016
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“Alastor, it’s me” An Alastor with a seemingly white tie ensemble only with red and black colors, opened the door to his studio. Red evening tailcoat, It’s not closed entirely, double breasted black dress shirt, high pants held up by suspenders, winged collar and butterfly bow tie, he looked amazing. That was, at your time, the highest and most formal wear for men.
“Y/n dearest, I thought you had forgotten of me” he offered his hand to you, pretending to be hurt, “Never, sorry for the delay, the comedian that arrived a while ago was a blast, made me laugh to tears” as you walked up the stairs he eyed the dress you wore, feeling disgust as he knew who had tailored for you.
With a click of his fingers, his green magic made a flash on your body, flapper’s dress red and black materialized. It had tons of black beads and shiny flowers. Your hands were covered by laced long gloves. Golden medium high heels that matched the golden headband.
“Hey, this is lovely” he smiled proud of his work, “Figured it was better than the ensemble you were wearing” You didn't ignore his bitter tone, but you didn't want to rub it in, instead you rolled your eyes and smiled as he prompt you to sit on a chair near his radio panel.
“I have a surprise for you” he pulled up an album, in between the pages were pieces of newspapers all about the Axe-man of Louisiana, “How did you brought this down here?” he put in your hands, allowing you to pass on the pages. “I have my ways” he was proud, even more so when you started showing signs of homesickness.
“I don’t regret a single one of this encounters, except the crazy as fuck letter that I wrote” which was in one of the pages, a subtle 'oh' from you made Alastor laugh, "Do you know that I read that letter on the radio? I don't know how I didn't laugh while I was doing so, but as soon as it was off the air I couldn't stop” you hit him on the shoulder playfully.
“That was my last murder, I wasn’t in my right mind, the cut was sloppy and I didn’t even reached the brain, it was a mess” he was invested in the story, you could tell by the way his smile looked more relaxed.
“The wife saw me but didn’t said anything, instead she wanted me to confirm that he was dead, as soon as I did she thanked me” part of you was pissed she didn’t felt fear, the other was at peace with that, “It made me sick to see her wounds, but I guess it didn't make sense to think that a bad man could be a good husband” your eye roll and sarcasm put an amused grin on his face.
“I’m not a good man, but I know I can be a good husband” he took your hand, knowing your point but still making his own on top, “Because you don’t abuse little girls Alastor, that’s the line between a bad man and a monster” and he was proud his mom taught him better, “You eliminated all those vermin, how you’re not in heaven?” in his mind no one so well thought as yourself should be in hell just for taking out a contaminator, “Because a life is a life I guess, not matter how worthless” not enough, he needed to make the puzzle you were less of a mystery.
“How did you died?” to him it didn’t made sense, your appearance, “The Axe-man did it” but he wasn’t satisfied, he needed to take the bodies from the closet, “Is this your real face?” taking a better posture on the chair you sternly made him explain, “What do you mean?”.
“You used a mask when you got here, even in life you were famous because you were never identified” he was truly informed, a fan of your ways , “What was my modus operandi?” you asked, eyeing a photograph of the bayou in between the pages, “Axe through the head” he answered,  “Face” you corrected him.
“I did the same with me, what I came to know later was that there was a fire caused by a misplaced candle, took years of deep care to my body to be this soft, but I had no face” that information was new, “I don’t care how much I like you Alastor, but if you try to say this to anyone else my coming back victim will be the radio demon” to be fair, that thought turned him on, just the feeling of your fangs on him again was enough to rile him up.
“Charlie gave me a face, this one-” he placed his hand on your cheek, appreciating the feeling, “For your information, dying by your hand, would be my upmost pleasure” a crack of his chair was heard before he placed a gentle kiss on your temple.
“What made you do a contract with her?” he had thought that question for a while, Charlie didn’t exactly gave him an answer when he approached her, “What will you give me in exchange?” he swayed his hand in the air, the wall turning onto itself.
“The pleasure of seeing me kill him” sat in a chair was your ex-husband, almost unrecognizable in all the bruises and cuts everywhere.
You were speechless, he did that for you? Alastor turned the man that hurt you in his own punching bag, just for you. “I was angry, she wanted to help, I wanted her to die” you admitted, watching closely all the wounds on his body, “The princess will die at the end of this?!” he rose from his chair, green hue surrounding him.
With a smirk you out yourself at his level, “You sound a tad too preoccupied for someone that made her sign a blank contract” his ears pinned down his head, “I have my reasons” he added, bitterly so,  “Too bad she can’t help you with that leash” your fingers grabbed the invisible pull around his neck making him growl, “You’re despicable” he spit, his eyes turning colors, black and red dials, “And you a manipulative narcissist, hungry for power, cannibalistic fool” a growl of your own made him shiver in place instinctively.
Pulling on your hair he took your lips on a kiss, your hands flying to his neck, hugging his shoulders yearning for his touch. His tongue pushed his way into your mouth, an audible yelp got swallowed from your mouth my his.
“You two are crazy” your ex cried from his seat, calling yours and his attention. “My darling, this is one of your birthday gifts” he pointed to all the black ties around his body and the chair, “Car cables, how many watts?” his hands circled your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, wickedly smiling when he uttered “39.9” with a purr, “That’s twice the electric chair, your idea of foreplay is splendid” you kissed his cheek earning a sigh from him.
Your eyes darted towards your ex, “The mobster’s wife drowned our daughter in the river, just so you know” while he started crying his guilt out you walked up to the switch, “Start recording, I want all of hell to hear him later” he pushed a button on his panel “Of course mon cœur”.
As soon as you flipped the switch, the radio electricity that Alastor provided overloaded your ex-husband's body and made it blow into a thousand pieces, staining your dress and some of the walls. “The dress is ruined” you shook some of the blood off, before you were pulled to Alastor’s lap, “You’re a tease” you smiled, “And a manipulative narcissist” he used your own words against you, but with a laugh.
“She can’t help?” he referred to Charlie and his deal with her, “The only one that can has a short sense of humor towards you” you booped his nose, “You’re hilarious” his eye roll made you laugh, “And you…prideful-ah!” he bit you on the neck, “But you like me either way” he knew you liked him at least a little bit, “Guilty as charged” however, he knew he wasn’t the only one.
“But you like him as well” he made your heart beat painfully in your chest, “I went from nothing to have two sources of affection, I became an addict” he pressed his cheek to yours, “I…mmh” he bit his tongue, “I don’t know what I can do, whatever I choose will hurt me, and one of you” he pulled you closer while you spoke, your knees straddling his hips.
“How about both?” he thought out loud, “I didn’t take you for a sharer” ‘If that can overrule the deal, make you stay and arrange it so we won’t lose you, then’ he thought, “I can swallow my pride that far” then his confession seemed so surreal, “Is that my second gift?” he smiled trying to mask his embarrassment.
“I hope it can suffice” he whispered, his hand petting your hair, “I don’t want to seem greedy” could you really date both? “Oh you are, darling, but I bet the king and I adore you either way” head pressed against his chest, felt right, just as much as having Lucifer curl up with you at night.
“Thank you” he hummed in response, “That won’t do” you thought it for a second, “Want me to take the lead?” maybe he wanted a reward for being so good to you, “I already gave you my answer a while ago” ‘Devour me’ you remembered his words, while adjusting yourself on his lap, you could feel his erection, “All this for little old me? How flattering” the clothed friction electrified his senses.
“You know what I found out?” Your breath ghosted along his neck, little bite marks already reddening as your hands found their way to his pants. “You love being in control, but even more so…” you bit gently on his neck, “When I control you” he let a shaky breath escape his throat, making it looked like he had been holding it for a minute now.
“Hands behind your back” you took off his belt, twisting it around his wrists, tightly but not so much, “I want to thank you for the amount of trust you give me” Zipper down, you grabbed either side with your hands and pulled them down with a swift yank.  
“I’ll tear you apart if you…-” tell anyone? No, you were going to have him all to yourself, “Tempting, but I would never” you stopped your movements when you caught a magnetic scent, “Is this a new cologne?” he hummed a yes, “You like it?” you nodded excitedly, “Yes, and though the white tie dressing is sexy, is horribly tedious to undo” the red and black suit was too gorgeous to ruin, but he had that in mind.
“Claw your way through it” he furrowed his brow, “I don’t want to ruin it” the fabric was far too exquisite, “You’ll make me beg for it?” his words made your tail slightly wag, “How far can you swallow your pride?” he laughed in response, “Chérie, please claw your way through it” It was the show of strength that took him by surprise, not that it wasn’t adding to the strain of his cock against his underwear. You ripped the pant legs off in tandem, slowing down as you brought your hand to the curved bulge now open for you to enjoy. Finally, a moment to pause.
His hands wouldn’t be stopping you now, but the way his was cutting into his lip as he bit down in anticipation made it clear you were not unwanted.
A slow drag down his clothed erection, small wet spot forming at the head. “Now this, this is all for me. No denying that, no questioning.” His hips bucked up instinctively, chasing your finger for more friction. A little giggle from you, realizing how much fun you were about to have. 
Leaning down between his legs, you let your nose slid up his length. Hot breath ghosting over his head, that wet spot growing as he twitched.
“Y/N…,” he growled, “Enough.” 
You shook your head and hooked your fingers under his waistband and peeling them off. A hiss as the air hit his precum slicked cockhead. Heavy and hot, you took him in your hands. No stroking, no squeezing. Your eyes looked into his, attempting to look as innocent and confused as you could to counter the small rage overwhelmed by arousal.
“Should I stop then?” A squeeze at his base. Another raise of his hips. 
His head drooped down, a nearly imperceivable shake of his head. “Good boy” Your hand rose up slowly, then back down. Each stroke you rose further and further until your hand was rolling over his head with every pass. Clear and sticky, his precum slowly made a lovely wet sound fill the space between you two. As his breath began to hitch, shoulders tightening and drawing in you, you stilled your hand. A whimper was your reward.
Letting a beat come, feeling that pulse slowdown in the heat in your hands, you only then began again. Taking pleasure in biting at his inner thighs when you noticed his body tensing up with the next attempt to cum, the pain breaking him just enough to let you regain the control. 
You brought him closer and closer each time, managing a third before you finally gave in and let him meet his climax and paint your knuckles and his station floor. “Sloppy” you mocked, letting your finger rub at his slit. Alastor’s knees drew up, hands tugging at his restraints. 
“It’s too sensitive. Up”
“Why are you still so hard then?” Your hand twisted over his head and shaft. His legs were hitting at your ribs, body trying to escape your hand but with nowhere to go.
“You’re pushing your luck, chérie” 
You liked pushing your luck. Watching him hiss and convulse was bringing out the sadist in you. With a second to consider it, you nodded to yourself and swiped your tongue up the bottom of his cock. Salty, bitter, hot. Focused, your tongue edged along the neck of his glans. 
As he squirmed, he realized you hadn’t been made to squirm yet… nor last time. Motivation found; his smirk finally returned in full.
The sound of the leather ripping as his arms pulled them apart reached your ears too late. You knew he could have gotten free at any time but you hadn’t expected him to actually do it. You knew despite his act; he enjoyed letting you be the one pulling his reins.
A hand in your hair pulled you off his lap, another took hold of your waist. The wind was knocked out of you as he tossed you to the floor between the chair and his table. 
Alastor had had enough. You had your fun, you teased, you took control of the dynamic. He warned you, and now he would reclaim the power. 
“Allow me to return the favor. I have a debt to you, after all.”
You hissed a warning that he ignored, ripping through your dress with ease. Unfair, you thought. You hadn’t been quite as quick when you undressed him. Had you known it was a competition you’d have made a quicker order of his pants earlier.
A clawed hand slid down your pelvic mound, two fingers spreading open your lips on the way down to your entrance. “You’re already dripping. You acted so tough earlier, but you were melting.”
“Can it.”
He hummed, both fingers bending and slipping into you with a slight resistance. Though you both enjoyed a little sadomasochism, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. So preparation was a necessity. Not that you minded, hips rutting into his palm to bring his digits deeper. Your hands came to your chest, feeling yourself while his own hands were occupied. 
You hadn’t minded not finding your own release last time, but the promise of Alastor drawing an orgasm out of you made your pussy clench around his fingers.
“Not enough?” The radio static of his normal voice grew as a direct reflections of his faltering control.
 Your hands came between your leg and pull his hand away, “I want you.” Hooking your legs around his waist you dragged his lap to your core and rubbed your slick smeared folds up and down his growing length. “Enough foreplay” you growled, wild and feral expression darkening your eyes.
Happy to oblige though not eager to show it, he took his time drawing back his hips. Already so hard he didn’t need his hands to enter you, Alastor let his claws grip the flesh of your thighs as he pressed into your heat, moving your tail to the side, tempted to grab hold of it, but he ignored it. 
A brief moment passed over his face when his smile faltered, the pleasure of getting back into you breaking his focused facade. He took a breath and that smile widened again, eyes opening to lock on your face as he started immediately into a steady rhythm. He knew what you needed to cum, something from within told him exactly how to work your body on his cock to make your vision white out. A consistent and determined thrusting, the sounds of his hips and balls smacking into your body getting louder as the sweat and arousal was shared skin to skin.
The noises of your bodies hitting together punctuating the restrained moans you were biting back made his ears twitch. Debauched, a moment you let yourself be bested. Rarely did you surrender but for his dick you lied on back for him. Or on all fours. Or… his head fell forward. Hanging there he could hide his uneven smile behind his curtain of hair. He could see himself disappearing into your body. Effortlessly you were sucking him in and gripping with every withdrawal.
The buildup of your orgasm was stalled, your hand coming to your clit to push yourself over the climax. As soon as your handed started strumming at your little bud, your walls spasmed and squeezed Alastor. 
“Y/N, Are you close?”.
You nodded, eyes clenched shut. Your stomach muscles tightened and threatened to cramp your arching back. 
When was the last time you felt good about this? Wanted? Loved even? Was this it, at last you found someone that could match your unique self?
“Me too.” Alastor groaned it out, body straightening. Onto your shoulders were touching the floor of his station now, back bent with the chase of your orgasm and Alastor lifting your ass so he could fuck up into you. 
It was a fact your knees would bruise his sides as you finally came, legs wrapping around him and pulling him as deep as you could get him. It wasn’t enough, you whined with the rare display of desperation to have more of him. 
As if he felt that draw as well, he let your body back down. His body rested on top of yours, the air slightly pushed out of your lungs. With a weak and broken moan into the side of your head, he pressed your body into the floor as he came buried as deeply as he could physically manage.
“I’ll talk to Mr. vertically challenged” he breathed out, “Are you sure?” you saw spots of colors, regaining as little strength as you could, feeling your body being pulled backwards. Soon enough you were in his lap again, curled up against his chest, “You go out tomorrow, I think I can convince him” he looked down to you, with the softest look he could provide.
“Deal” you kissed his chin, he felt how your tail tangled around his waist, it was soft and warm, “Just don’t get killed” he took your lips in a kiss, “I won’t” you gave him an unamused stare, “I’m serious” he kissed you again, as if he could erase your worries like that.
“Now, let’s get cleaned up, cuddle the king so he doesn’t suspect anything” you made a pout which he found adorable, “I thought we could sleep together” he made you and him appear in his bathroom, where his shadow already made a warm bath for you two.
“I’m going to compensate for the other day, but I feel…weird” he was overstimulated, so you understood and rather enjoyed the bath and his delicate way to spread the soap across your skin, rather than object him.
After a good night kiss, you went back to Lucifer’s room, finding him in the same position you left him in. “Luce, Luci” you slid in between the covers, calling him softly to get him to cuddle, in which as soon as he heard you, regained a bit of senses, enough to fit his head in your chest and his arms around your waist.  
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Stay tuned ;3
part 12
258 notes · View notes
jweekgoji · 1 year ago
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kind of headcannons about yanderes, so basic warnings about kidnapping, manipulation, unhealthy dynamics, obsession, overprotective behavior.
I kind of lied about Fern being the best yandere of AT, IMO Betty would be the best choice, girl freaking holds her man like her wifey, punches weird magical creatures she saw for the first time and she doesn't give a F about some big ass red boss baby , ALL FOR A MAN!!!
as for yandere potential, I would have ranked them like this. ↓
Betty/Golbetty is a really dedicated, ruthless and determined person when it comes to saving and protecting people she loves, even as a regular human she does really scary stuff against some powerful beings, all for beloved! I also really like Magicwoman Betty, I like insane yanderes losing their mind over how to save s/o , especially if they were really sweet and caring before all the crazy stuff happened.
Lich is kind of underrated tho, his voice actor really serves, a good villain which would give me god-like yandere villain/human beloved vibes which would be like a pet for Lich. The power difference is tasty, not to mention the size difference. Would wish to extinct all the life in the universe only for you to be all alone with him :P
Simon is not like Betty, even though he totally would do the same as her, sacrifice everything he has only for his s/o, without them he is nothing and pathetic to watch. but I see him as some kind of father figure with fucked up mind. Hates himself for it, thinks he's too old for you, you totally deserve better than someone like him, but not like he is against the idea of you being around him.
Scarab, The Star somehow like Lich, if you are human or just weaker than them, they would treat you as some sort of pet too. Maybe Scarab would taunt you more, calling you pathetic, ugly and disgusting, at the same time he would be the one who bathes you all the time. He thinks he is superior, but actually freak deep inside. But I would give bonus points for the reverse dynamic, s/o who treats Scarab as a bug he is, not caring about him begging for a job as a wishmaster. step on him, squish him like a bug, but he would run to you for more.
Ooo Finn is himbo, funny guy, actually average yandere, but Jake's death really changes his view on life. It's canon that he waits for the day he dies just to see his brother again. I think he would be a really overprotective one, always on your side whenever you go, helping you with whatever you have to do even if it's something simple. I love the idea of the good loyal hero being a little too protective towards their s/o. Most of the time Finn actually can't understand what he is doing wrong, so if you tell them about it, he would laugh it off.
FW Finn is such a cherry. I would pick Ice Finn and adult FW Finn for this. Ice Finn is scary, before he goes crazy, he is a polite and cute young man, but like other crown users, he has a really deep sense of love for the one he loves enough to put that cursed thing on his head just to save them. I see him more like a creepy guy, not like Ice King tho, Ice Finn would be kind of scarier since all those buildings made of frozen people would scare off everyone. He would be a clingy guy seeking human warmth since his body temperature is too low, but don't run away from him or you will add to his frozen collection.
Adult FW Finn are much cooler in both senses, like Ooo Finn he is overprotective, might be even more since Destiny Gang is always around and he can't let his s/o to be killed by them, he already had to lose his wife, so you would be guarded 24/7. Canonically, Finn would totally hear you once you try to leave him, so don't try it. He won't hurt you, but you would lose your privilege to walk.
Minerva just like her son is the one who wants to help people all the time. Even though they don't really want her help. It will be short here, but like I said about Finn before, she is an overprotective one, and her being everywhere literally would make your life a living nightmare since it would be hard as hell to leave her.
I already made headcannons about Fern, so will be short here too. Fern>Finn in yandere behavior, Fern is violent due to grass demon influence, he has low self-esteem, he doesn't think he deserves you since Finn would be much better at protecting you from harm. But his mind is constantly changing, so in the moment of trying to prove himself, he will kidnap or kill whoever stays on his way to get you, not to mention that if you are the person who's in good relationships with Finn, he would not hesitate to take care of Finn and take his place.
Winter King is a weirdo who has too much power. He is affectionate and could mess with the brains of everyone with his charm. Look at him, such a nice and powerful King! How could you not love him, dude?? Money, knowledge, power, love, all he has and he will give it to you. Well, if you are smart enough to see him playing, his mood will turn into a more angry one, showing some traits of the Ice King. So yeah, same old kidnapping Ice King stuff...
For PB&Candy Queen it's obvious, just like Ice Kings, she is a crazy girl, the definition of yandere, but her blender thingie is actually impressive. I don't think she will be all lovey dovey with her s/o, like she could play her songs for you, keeping you trapped, but one day you will be mixed with her together. PB from the vampire world is kind of like a much cooler version of OG PB, I like her character design and how she is portrayed, I just like strong women who would dominate you, that's all.
Can't say much about Hunter, Fionna, PB, Marceline or Phoebe for now. They're kind of chill and too cute, I can't see them doing crazy stuff (for now). For Huntress Wizard, my love, I see her cool and chill too, but this girl would give you some wild presents like when she gave Finn an animal's heart 😭 well, she is a lonely wolf type, kind of don't know what couples are supposed to do and would try to express herself in her own style which would weird you out a little but she still tries!
Peppermint Butler is kind of underrated too, he's a freaking funny guy, no one would actually believe you if you say that this candy guy would do some creepy shit. I mean look at him! Kind of like more the idea where his s/o is some really powerful entity like Death or Vampire King, he would daydream about you, giggling and kicking his feet making weird fanfics about you in his journal~~~
For Uncle Gambald and Patience, I would say they're pretty strong and violent. Don't disobey those two unless you want to die or something, are you stupid?? Patience at least would try to appear like she's actually trying to be good, she wants to know you more and teach some stuff, or tell stories about the past, just don't ignore her. Uncle Gambald is a creep, stay away from him!! He's gonna make you dumb candy citizen too!!
I actually love Prismo so much, but as for yandere he would be really tied up to his work. I mean, he can't do anything with you when you are outside his time room. He is helpless. He can't touch you or feel you like others would, he can't be around you 24/7 like them, he can't give you what most people need from their partners and it is really sad. Of course, he can make you appear in his time room whenever he wants, he can make everything you wish for, hoping that maybe you will stay with him a little longer. I don't think he would appear angry or annoyed by you, he's too sweet and caring. If you want to leave just go, but he would feel like shit without you around, his work is boring as hell, people who came for making a wish are annoying him, his time room is full of garbage. But Prismo's attention focused totally on videos of you from different universes, the only thing keeping him entertained.
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azulsluver · 1 year ago
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Slasher!twst introduction…graphic for those who are sensitive to murder and overall fucked up shit in general.
I do not condone or support this behavior in any way, this is for entertainment purposes and for those who enjoy slasher films (it's where I got inspired off of) and not glorify actual serial killers.
basic tw. murder, human trafficking, abuse of power, clearly unhinged and purposely not good characters, mentions of snuff films, stalking, cannibalism, mentioned beheading.
Note: might come back to add more stuff and fix grammar lolz
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Riddle
A doctor who craves to see his patients insides. Riddle finds everyone to be unique, during his years in the medical field he’s seen it all. Unlike most people he’s intrigued on the human body, almost taking the role as a psychiatrist but it’s nice to be up and personal with a corpse.
He wishes to understand every single aspect of the human body and brain, there is so much to learn and see. He’s kept a couple of his patients eyes in his lab, staring back at his favorites in remembrance of their once living memory.
Hot tempered however. Abuses the power that he’s a doctor, someone you should trust in health and well being. It kinda gets him off. Besides that he can’t stand patients who don’t listen, snobby and lack manners when he’s asking questions. An easy killer to avoid, just don’t catch his attention.
Trey
Did you see it coming? The friendly baker who’s pastries taste so good yet different no matter the brand. Trey is great at avoiding conflict, his victims are loners, people who don’t have much of a name. No one would suspect him because Trey made it his duty to befriend the law, clean from their records.
Trey had killed off a classmate that bothered him or snuck their nose in places it shouldn’t be. Resulting his decision to hide the evidence by making it into deserts. Or better, meals prepped for guests he plans on bringing over. When he doesn’t need to use his unique magic he eats it as it is. Human flesh doesn’t taste as bad as media says.
Calm and friendly. Someone you wouldn’t expect. Probably lures his victims by giving false hope, he can help you with anything you need. Seduction if needed, get you to isolate yourself so no one would suspect he was behind it. Another easy killer to avoid, don’t pry into his business.
Cater
Makes snuff films. Pretty popular for his cherry attitude and quirky kills. Got into this kind of stuff in high school, at first he was disturbed, but it grew on him the more his curiosity got the better of him. Becomes more self aware of people’s likes and dislikes, this sick thought that he can harm someone. Kill, someone’s daughter, son, and baby he could kill. With hopes and dreams, he can take it all.
Two-faced, he’s great at pretending, a little too good at being your trendy friend who enjoys giving his fans what they want. And he does exactly that. It was the attention he never thought he’d be addicted to. The praise and vulgar language, amusing.
Victims range from how popular and known you are, or if you really caught his eye and he thinks you can scream just right. His unique magic makes great use, multitasking on being in places he shouldn’t be, getting information and learning his victim’s routines. Those who love dressing cute, may you never cross this man.
Ace
A shitty killer, does it for fun. There’s nothing tragic for him he just thinks breaking the law is great….when he’s not caught, thanks to a little friend of his. Likes the adrenaline of a fight, resistance gets him off badly. Pants like a fucking dog if you’re bitchy, finds it hot when his victim can bite back. Brings him more of a challenge.
Picks up his victims from diners or the bar late at night. He’s got charm, unlike his high school years he’s learned to bite back his tongue and instead seduce his way through in situations. Here to impress, after a couple of failed attempts he’s gotten rid of he knows how to play his cards.
Gotten away with a lot of things. Like Trey he has befriended the law, the more corrupted side. The one that enjoys hurting the innocent, that understand the power trip of accusing and punishing. Deuce is his partner in crime, the two are almost regularly seen together.
Deuce
Genuinely wanted to help those in need. He saw himself as the savior in the story, he’s doing good by getting rid of the bad guys. But it’s starting to get boring. No matter how many times he’s slapped himself with water or stare at the cells. The way some more of his aggressive officers handle their suspect started to irl him. In a way others would deem normal.
Man did he miss the feeling of slamming his fist into another’s, the crunching sound of his knuckles and their jaw was exciting. Like a rush of youth, their cowering expression brings him memories that he didn’t know existed. Who is he to lie to himself that what he’s doing is wrong, it feels right to put criminals back in their place.
Respected by all. No one would bat an eye regarding his past records of violence during his school years. Deuce is a changed man they say, even when he’s with that play boy friend of his. He’s gotten better at controlling his bloodlust, the law honors a great officer like him.
Leona
It’s gotten rather lonely and boring lately. Leona had gone into some shady places to get the things he wanted. He’s no stranger to things such as assassins and human trafficking. That was something he was interested in, you only live once to do something fun. Such as owning a person. He’s a prince, it’s the least they can do to shut their mouth and let him have this moment.
Just as him, his family is corrupted, turning a blind eye to Leona’s hobby in collecting different types of victims to play with before discarding. Too many times did he wash the blood away and under his nails. Ravishing in their cries and last moments before taking it. Maybe it was the hunt he was after, but thinking about it that way reminded him of that hunter. Possible chance of them hunting together for sport.
No law can touch him. Not when hush hush money is being covered. Every eye witness is ordered to be silenced with threats and a wad of cash hovering above. Leona takes great interest in enthusiastic people, they rub him off in a nice way that makes him want to see them squirm.
Ruggie
Works for Leona. When Leona doesn’t find the time to buy his next toy that’s where Ruggie comes in. Ruggie has a good eye for candy that’s either sweet or sour, didn’t matter as long as they’re warm and breathing. Ruggie had dug himself deep into things he shouldn't at a young age, but the money was tempting, food was scarce so often relied on the dead people left behind after harvesting their organs.
Leona often gives him a treat for a job well done, getting rid of witnesses or naughty toys. Hyenas have teeth that can easily chew through bone, he's basically a garbage disposal for him. Not that he minds. In fact he loves the lifestyle he has at the moment.
This can go multiple ways, Ruggie is either Leona's personal assassin/helper or a cannibal by heart. But he prefers to work in the crowd, working all alone can have it's flaws, no better way than to have easy access. It's simple, when Leona is happy so is he.
Jack
Some sort of vigilant. Unlike the rest, he beats himself up for not controlling his emotions better. His more animalistic side gets the better of him when he sees the weak get pushed around. Multiple times has he actually tried to stop and get help, but his brain mushes and stretches each time he's seen something dead, unmoving, bloodied and crying in front of him. As if it was right to hurt them. There's so many people who are bad, he'll do the right thing by getting rid of them one by one.
This doesn't go as planned, he's built up some degree of blood lust, a need to excuse his behavior. Slowly getting into denial that what he's doing is ok, as long as no one knows. From killing off bad people to taking in those he deemed interesting. It was normal he said, a wolf needed to protect the weak. Whether they want it or not.
Jack isn't dumb but his victims are usually scared shitless to reason with him. But with a more collected person they can try talking it out with him. Jack however can get possessive because said victim has a point. You understand Jack, you helped him with all the burden and worry. He can't let you leave now tho...
Azul
Everything Azul had was all built up from scratch. He's made some unpleasant decisions to get to where he is now. High off of power and greed he cared little. His morals stripped the second he shakes hand with governments officials. They pay large sums to trade, buy, and sell things for the sake of their country. Organs play a great game into his empire, with the help of the twins social net work he was able to be top dog. Yet up in the surface he's nothing but a gentleman.
Azul gets his hands dirty by obtaining illegal substance and trafficking. Getting himself into these types of business opened his eyes to a whole new world, people are willing to do anything to survive, it's horrible and harsh. But it's starting to grow on him.
He's built connections with corrupted officials for the sake of enjoyment, it's nothing but fun for his customers. He's all too happy to supply them with things that'll keep them satisfied. All of this influenced him to have a cute thing of his own. Wouldn't it show just how much power he has?
Jade and Floyd
They work for Azul, he's just full of surprises! Jade and Floyd are kept busy with doing Azul's dirty work, relieving in targeting their newest victim so they can be sold off. Or knocking at a mans doorstep because he didn't pay Azul back on time. It's a sense of rush, the urge to harm and cause chaos among the innocent. Their job is to keep tabs on clients for any potential scammers, snatching people off the street in the middle of the night, sort of like the mafia but worse.
There is a low chance in encountering them or becoming their victim because of connections to their business. Alter egos, well associated with celebrities or people in power. And they're mostly seen with Azul as body guards, the ones actually doing the more "dirty work" for him. Discarding bodies or simply eating them to quickly get the job done.
Jade is interested in keeping something for the sake of experimenting or true relations. Floyd often have quick hook ups with people he finds interesting before getting bored again. Horrible and cruel with their things, none yet to survive, their parents have yet to complain in need of grandchildren and to further expand family business.
Kalim
Has some type of connection with Azul. Not much besides the trafficking. Something much more sinister under all those smiles, either because of his position or he's great and should do theater is the reason he faces no consequences. Family like the Leech are similar when it comes to traditions, keeping those in power satisfied with twisted and inhumane products. Kalim is probably desensitized, because at a young age it was taught to be normal to traffic those paid high enough. No longer seen as human.
Still very kind to others however, just much more aware and less dense when it comes to more darker subjects. Doesn't get his hands dirty, controls what route or person is taken in, receipts and what not. No hard feelings, maybe just don't be poor/jk
Encountering him is hard, must be related through connections or snooping too much. Like Leona, had many playthings in the past almost like a harem of those who passed his test. Nothing but sweet to his victims because he believes they get to experience pleasure before dying.
Jamil
Plays the same role in canon, Kalim's bodyguard/servant. In this AU he has not yet to envy Kalim as they set foot in the same page. Instead understanding each other through words and acts of loyalty. Has killed at a young age in order to protect Kalim, finds it his purpose to enjoy life while he has the chance. Disturbingly enjoys his job because he has an urge for bloodlust, possible sociopath. Helps get rid of unwanted enemies that are after Kalim in revenge.
Taunts his victims a lot, usually uncaring unlike Kalim. Innocent or not he's ruthless when it comes to disposing of them, gives him a sense of adrenaline in hurting those who did no wrong. Power abusing his status and strength for the fun of it. When not protecting Kalim he goes on his way to meet potential clients who wish to buy someone off or have them killed.
Stalks his victims and always a step ahead, interestingly enough if he finds them intriguing he might just keep them alive for a while. It's nice getting to know someone unwillingly before taking their lives, the thought of their future and life in his hands irks him to continue. Until he gets attached.
Vil
A killer who nobody would suspect as well. Vil is a famous and well known celebrity, who knew his hobby was stalking some more attractive fans and committing unspeakable crimes. Started this hobby in high school. Was somewhat detached as a child as he used to kill small rodents and was home schooled by private and strict teachers. As an actor he does an amazing job in not getting suspected of things people wouldn't think he had the guts to do.
With his magic in going undercover the paparazzi have trouble finding him, they're exhausting so he takes out his frustrations by eyeing pretty things that either adore him or unsuspecting. His reasons are fueled with envy towards those who are kind and considerate, a nobody that catches his eye. So he starts going for both.
Money can do a lot to satisfy his killing spree taking those he favorites and keep their bodies somewhere in one of his penthouses. In a room hidden underground, their body is plastered in a way he'd call art, hanging on the ceiling or kept in glass containers.
Rook
Family tradition to take unsuspecting hikers or foreigners as a sport. Instead of hunting for animals they hunt for people. Once a year the Hunt family meet up with their victims to set them free in whichever area was picked to search for them later on. A game of cat in mouse and usually Rook beats his siblings to these types of games. Can get very attached to his victims, finds every one of them beautiful when alive and dead.
He lives rather far from the city, having to move place to place because of his family's games. This gives him more opportunities to meet new people and find potential victims. Like any hunter, he's sharp and gets straight to the point, police have trouble finding the killer that's been abducting random hikers.
Pretty basic to encounter, because he spends most of his times living in the middle of the woods far away from civilization. I've seen the trend of Rook being a slasher like ghostface and I'm here for it, this is just my take on him in this au, much more darker.
Epel
The type of slasher to get away with everything because of pretty privilege. In this au Epel willingly cross dresses to trick his victims. Bias he was inspired to become a slasher because of movies. What exactly spiraled him to get into these type of things was for the sake of petty revenge. Tired of being seen as weak and fragile, he finds it amusing to see the confused and terrified look on their face when he's revealed to be their misfortune.
He gets really into his hobby, deceiving men who assumed he was a girl and easily befriending their families in case fingers were pointed at him. In fact Epel actually has several identities regarding cross dressing. He doesn't stay very long in places and tends to move when he can.
Victims? Majority are men he dislikes when first meeting. It's rare of him to go after girls, at times he will correct them if they misgender him or he plays along. Meaning putting up the act of a girl best friend. This usually happens if he's interested.
Idia and Ortho
Corrupted during his childhood. Had access to the internet and parents just weren't watching what he was looking at. Idia has seen it all, with the murders, snuff films, and inappropriate ads. It stuck with Idia through adult hood, all his years he's lived in guilt and fear, he's more unstable and lets his thoughts get the better of him. And Ortho makes it worse. It's unsure if Idia is seeing Ortho and hallucinating his voice, he blames that he's the source for all of his killings. All of the failed experiment and loved ones that "passed" away.
Ortho is dead in this au, Idia just can't accept that. But this forms him into who he is now, his family cover up whatever shit he's done, in fact they encourage Idia to do what he must if it made him happy. I wouldn't say they are shitty, because they know exactly what they're doing.
Idia had grown an obsession with trying to revive the dead, or make humans stay longer, he already failed with Ortho and is willing to spare more lives for the sake of science. His victims are people he met online, trollers or crushes to be exact.
Malleus
Malleus is a powerful fae who is influenced by his status, with that power comes a tendency for arrogance and a sense of being above the rules and law. This can be seen in his treatment of others in his kingdom, but it's (not) safe to say he prefers to go after humans instead. it could certainly lead to a sense of entitlement and a lack of regard for the lives of others. Additionally, he is a very passionate character who can easily become consumed by his emotions, and if those emotions are negative, it can lead to a desire for revenge or a need to assert his power and authority through violent means.
After years of being neglected only anger was left, he doesn't see people around him as equal rather than pawns. It's due to jealousy does he tend to lash out on those who either wronged him, throwing fits and tantrums when things don't go his way. Malleus has a glimpse of a child-like behavior when consumed by these emotions, having to replace one too many maids when crossed his paths.
He may be attracted to targets that are also powerful or notable in some way. This could include powerful magic users, royalty, or prominent figures within the magical community. Alternatively, he may also target those who have wronged him in some way, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Lilia
war veteran that craves the glory and violence when it came to the human and fae war. He’s not like crazy sadistic or anything but killing when “necessary.” Which is a bad excuse because he doesn’t feel bad when harming bystanders that accidentally trip their way into his business. Also being a war veteran he’s highly respected so no one is on his ass when suspecting.
I’d say he’d miss the way skin goes under his nails, having a life in your hands is exhilarating to say the least. It’s almost comforting to him because of how harsh his days were back then. Headcanon that Lilia fought in war at a very young age, traumatic yet he’s addicted to the very thing that harms him. It’s unhealthy but I think he’s in a position to not care, being highly respected of his status is a free way ticket.
Silver
Not a slasher. A poor unexpecting citizen who’s friends with psychos. Silver is kind of a victim in this AU…? Sometimes Silver finds things he should’ve left behind, but in the goodness of his heart he seeks out the problem of his “friends” disappearance. Because of this Lilia regularly has to keep up with Silver so he doesn’t make those mistakes again. Using magic to reduce his memory of the night he saw a woman get beheaded, his son too kind for this world.
But he can be your friend in here!!! Befriending Silver is almost like a golden token, less likely to be victim depending on who’s eye you’ve caught. Some won’t care if you’re under his protection and Lilia’s. Silver could get attached to you tho, causing him to get unpleasant thoughts of wanting to keep you safe, even by force.
Slasher of a making? Lilia would find this an opportunity to fill his head with scenarios and create a false impression of his doings. He’s right to keep you, it’s for your own good and everyone around him keeps leaving. You’re all he has left.
Sebek
By slasher I mean background character lmaoo. As usual, works with Malleus as his personal guard. You could’ve been so many things to get in a situation with Sebek/Malleus, having been bought or maybe a friend of Malleus that he grows to resent. Sebek knows better then to let anger get the best of him, having blood on his hands are a normal occurrence especially when assassins tend to come left and right. So he’s always alert and very distanced when it comes to forming a relationship.
Some sort of executer, gets rid of any evidence from either within the castle or a good hunt. Much more connected to his animalistic urges but can easily overcome them. Anything grotesque sets him off to harm those around him. His hunger for any sort of flesh is unmatched, worse than any other beastfolk as he consumes it raw and alive.
Sebek would be the last person you’ll ever meet because encountering him is very very random. He’s a busy person who is barely seen in public unless it’s for important events that includes Malleus being there.
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spliffymae · 2 years ago
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WRITTEN OFF.
synopsis: okay, toji learned his lesson, you can come home now. wait—why does he see you across the room? why are you in that dress he loves so much?…who the fuck is the guy sitting in front of you!?
⚠️black coded, swearing, toji gets jealous, lil bit of sukuna x reader
kio’s notes - yk what, i was never a fuckin’ scout anyways. part 5 after this
pts. 1 , 2 , 3 :)
now playing
⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.}──────── ⊰
you never realized just how much effort it took to get ready. you had been slumming it since starting maternity leave. you had no energy to doll yourself up. not when you had a whole infant to care for. where would the time for you be?
“okay, (y/n). it’s just a little outing with a fine ass man. no big deal.” you mumbled as you looked in the mirror. you had been building up the confidence to go out all day.
you had agreed to grab dinner with sukuna, a guy who’s pets you used to watch. he had told geto how pretty you were and being the best wingman he was, geto set you two up on a date.
but little do you know, geto also planned to be there to see how it was going, and to meet a friend.
and which friend would that be? well none other than your dishonorable ex-husband, toji fushiguro, of course.
you hadn’t even noticed it, thst you two were in the same place. you were too busy focusing on sukuna and his recalling of a mission in budapest.
the date had been going well. he complimented the way you looked when he saw you, giving you a hug and mumbling in your ear that “you look beautiful.” you swore if you could show it, your whole face would be cherry red.
you would catch him looking at your breasts here and there, but it didn’t really bother you. the girls were sitting well, and thanks to breastfeeding they were larger than before. you even caught yourself staring after you finished getting ready.
your body had gone through a lot of changes since carrying rin. you had gained more weight in your stomach and arms, as well as doubling up in stretch marks around your hips and thighs. at first you felt like a totally different person. but as time went on you started to be kinder to yourself. you started to appreciate your new body. hell, it created, grew, and pushed out a whole baby. it was magical!
and if anyone knew how magical your body was, it was toji, who had just walked into the restaurant with his hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket.
megumi refused to answer his question about what boyfriend you had, and he ended up just stomping away from his son, mumbling about ‘grabbin’ a drink’ on his way out.
the thought of you moving on was a thought he never came across. why? because he never saw it possible. you two were soulmates, kindred flames that would never be extinguished. so how could you ever move on?
your boyfriend was heavy on toji’s mind. was he as big as toji? was he smaller? did he make you laugh? where did you two meet…the list of questions was a mile long and no end was in sight.
“old friend! why so glum? look like your wife left you.” geto joked as toji joined him at the bar. he was met with a scowl from toji, the side of his lip with the scar lowering in a grimace.
“too soon.” geto mumbled, sending the awkwardness he had created. to make up for it he slid toji a glass of beer. “here, take your mind off it.”
“don’t think i ever will.” toji slumped in the empty bar stool beside geto’s. he took the handle of the glass and brought the rim to his lips to take a big gulp.
“megumi said she got a boyfriend now.” toji scoffed, wiping the foam off his upper lip. “not even legally divorced yet and she went off and found someone else?…fucking bitch.” he shook his head in disbelief.
he didn’t mean it, of course. you were anything but a bitch. but he just hated you right now. hated that you were somewhere giggling at what someone who wasn’t him was saying. toji gulped down the rest of the beer.
“another one.” he spoke to the bartender, pushing the empty glass towards the man, tapping his finger against the glass for another.
geto looked on in amusement, “take it slow, brother. you got kids to go back to.”
toji snorted. “yeah right. i got no one.” the glass of beer was refilled and toji grabbed it. he finished it quick, burping afterward.
geto turned to look behind him, to look at your table. you and sukuna were putting your drink orders in for the waitress.
“it’s saturday night, fushiguro. you’ll find someone.” geto patted his back and turned back around so you didn’t feel eyes on you. toji just rolled his eyes in response.
he would kill to be at the restaurant with you. he hadn’t noticed it until he read the logo on the glass that he was at lovers creek; a family owned restaurant he took you for your first date and proposal.he recognized the place when he pulled up, but the thought of your new relationship weighed too much for him to really process where he’d be stepping back into.
“used to always sit in the booth by the big window with ‘em. megumi would come and sit next to her.” toji traced the logo on the glass. he didn’t realize how bad he’d be hurting being back in this establishment.
“it’s okay to miss her, toji.” geto reassured. he knew toji had a wall around his feelings. an 8ft wall with weapons at the grounds to fight off anyone who tried to come to close. but you had managed to slip through his defenses, and he was infatuated with you for it.
“s’more than just missing her. nothing’s right without her. megumi hates me more than ever and rinny….” toji sucked his teeth, “she won’ even know who i am to her when she’s older.”
geto could see toji’s jaw clench at the thought. he knew how much toji loved his family. how much he cared for you. to lose everything was something he knew toji didn’t want. but he also knew toji wouldn’t fight for you. he knew he was wrong, he knew he hurt you and the kids.
geto sighed, “if you got her back, would shit even change? would you change?”
toji nodded, a burp escaping his lips as he ordered another beer. “would change everything. i’d even try friggin therapy, if it’ll help. i just….i don’t want to lose her. don’t want to lose the little family i have left.”
and geto knew you’d kick his ass for what he was thinking. he knew you would cuss him out and promise to never watch his snakes again, but he couldn’t stand to see toji this way.“ight, if you promise me to change for the better, and to give my goddaughter and nephew the best home and father they could have, i’ll help you get her back.”
toni snorted as he sipped his fourth glass, “and how pray tell are you going to do that?” toji trusted geto about as far as he could throw him. yeah, he was a good friend and great company, but he rarely stood on his words.
geto knew toji had doubts, and he had the smuggest of smiles on his face when he said, “i know where she’s at right now. and i can tell you for a fact she’s with the boyfriend.”
and toji nearly choked on his beer. he sputtered, the liquid hitting his nose and chin, getting him to murmur profanities as he grabbed a napkin to clean himself. “where?”
“do you promise?”
“yes, fuck. okay, i will devote my every last breath to being a better man for my family just tell me where she and that fucker are.” toji didn’t know what he would do when he saw you or your boyfriend. if he were being honest, a part of him wanted to bash the guys skull in—despite not even knowing what he looked like. just the idea that another man thought he could have you, it made him violent.
“table at your six. guy has pink hair.” geto said so casually as he grabbed toji’s glass and finished the rest of his beer. he knew the second toji saw you he would forget about the beverage, so why let a good thing go to waste.
toji turned his body, eyes scanning the tables until he saw his target. and there he was. pink hair gelled up, a tight dress shirt on and tattoos faintly peeking out on his neck, chest and arms. toji looked across at you, and he felt his breath get caught in his throat.
you looked beautiful. your skin practically glowed against the yellow lights of the restaurant, the red dress also aiding in showcasing your flawless complexion. you wore the dress he always told you he loved, the one that you wore the night he proposed.
and as quick as he was in awe at your beauty, he turned angry, jealous. who did you think you were to leave the house like that? for someone who wasn’t him?
he said not a word to geto as he got up and headed to your table.and little did he know, you were desperate for an escape from this date. yes, sukuna was a good looking guy, but there was no depth to him. he seemed to self-absorbed , only speaking when things related to him or he wanted to mention an accolade of his. arrogance, a trait you hated.
you had thought of a plan. you were going to excuse yourself to the bathroom and then come back to say megumi called with an emergency. yeah, that would work. all that had been brought to your table was drinks, so it was too bad to leave.
but as you got ready to get up, you made eye contact with the one person you didn’t want to see tonight. “you have got to be kidding me.” you mumbled in defeat as your exhusband came to your table with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows.
“you think this is funny? coming out to our spot with some guy?” toji was furious. skipping past greetings and getting straight to it.
it had been a horrendous three months for him; guilt, shame, sadness, anger…every emotion possible he felt during the time you were a part.
“whoa, (y/n) who is this?” sukuna was surprised at the sudden interruption. especially considering it was a giant man standing before him, who looked like he wanted to bash the pink haired man’s skull in.
“her fuckin’ husband, the hell are you?” toji gave him a quick glance. he had already sized him up from afar, and if sukuna were to try anything, toji was positive he could take him.
“hey man, she ain’t say nothing about being married.” sukuna raised his hands in defense.
“because i’m not,” you gave toji a warning look, “we’re divorced.”
“separated.” toji corrected.
“and yet here you are.” you sarcastically cheered, earning a glare from toji. sukuna was feeling a bit awkward at the tension.
toji turned around to sukuna, “she tell you she got kids? one sixteen and a baby.”
“ a baby?!” sukuna leaned back in disbelief.
“mhmm, six months old. wants more too. super committed, this one. lucky if she doesn’t trap you.” he dryly chuckled in an attempt to prove the convo was still lighthearted. but anyone with ears could tel it was anything but.
you were gonna say something, but you had no words. you were shocked. you looked to toji with nothing but anger in your eyes. your ex leaned in close to you with a hand on the table. his big frame blocked you from seeing your date and him seeing you.
“get your stuff and let’s go. i’m tired of this, (y/n). you are my wife and we are going to work this out like adults, you understand? now move before i move you.” what was scary about toji’s words wasn’t what he said, but how he spoke. it was calm, concise. he said everything without an intimidating tone but his eyes bore into yours telling you he would stand on his word.
he stood back straight and turned to sukuna, “she has to go now. don’t call her, don’t come to my house, and if i find you anywhere near her i’ll kill you.”
you were pissed! you grabbed your purse and walked right past toji, not even waiting to hear what sukuna’s response would be. you no longer cared. you just wanted to go home and cry in your bed. you pushed open the door to outside and quickly began walking to the parking lot
“(y/n)!” toji followed you, but you ignored him. “damnit woman, can you just wait?!” he called out again, drawing attention to you. something he knew you hated, and knew he would make a scene if you didn’t acknowledge him.
so you stopped and turned to him with a fury burning in your eyes, “what?! what do you want? how the hell did you even know where i was? you stalking me now?”
toji chuckled, “don’t flatter yourself. i got the message loud and clear you wanted me out your life.”
“clearly not enough if you’re still around. what is it, toji? because it’s not about rin. so why the fuck did you do that? y’know how long it’s been since i had a date?!”
toji knew. matter fact, he knew the exact day. “the night after the dinner. i…i took you here to apologize.”
“lie!” you stepped a bit closer to him. he was still a good distance away but you were overcome with rage and wanted him to feel everything. “you took me here to lie, toji! to act like it was saying sorry for being an ass to me but really it wasn’t, huh?”
toji stepped closer, “(y/n)—.”
“—you wanna talk, hm? wanna ‘work this out’? tell me why you did it. tell me what she had that i didn’t.” you folded your arms with hot tears slipping down your cheeks. all you wanted to do was go on a date and get back into the swing of things. toji’s infidelity had did a number on you—on your self esteem, your social life, your mental state. you just wanted a night to reintroduce yourself to the single world.
“she had nothing! how many goddamn times to i have yo apologize, huh? what do you want me to do, (y/n)? you want me to beg? get down on my knees and beg you take me back? i fucked up, i know i did! but for the thousandth time, she meant nothing to me!”
“then why’d you do it?!” you yelled back, your voice shocking s few passerby’s who were walking into or out of the establishment. “i gave you everything! i was the wife you wanted, the mother megumi needed and what were you to me?…missing! you left me to raise a child alone! to carry our baby alone! you. left. me. alone!” and the tears came flowing, your lips quivering and snot slowly peeking out your nose as you stared at him. you hated crying in public—you hated crying in general. but toji couldn’t just leave well enough alone.
he didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest. you bawled into his shirt, arms still folded and in front of you. “i hate you, toji. so fuckin’ much.” you muffled into his chest.
he didn’t speak, he couldn’t. there was nothing you needed to hear from him right now. he just held you as you cried. it was the first time he held you since the separation, and god knew toji would do everything in his power to hold you as long as he could.
he let a couple minutes go by, at most three, before he spoke up. “did you drive here?” he mumbled into your hair.
you shook your head.
“can i take you home?”
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pt.5
1K notes · View notes
absolutebl · 9 months ago
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This Week in BL - It's 2024 & I'm talking about TayNew... really?
(They pretty much told us all to sit down and shut tf up, 'cause they got this. AND THEY DO.)
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Feb 2024 Wk 3
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 9 of 12 - I broke. In my defense, it was Monday, I needed comfort, and TayNew were right tf there. Ya know what? They are great in this show. It's a great adaptation. I might like it more than the JBL live action. You know why? Really, honestly WHY...?
That was a PHENOMENAL KISS. Those boys did Thailand fucking proud. They did fandom a solid. Thank you OGs for reminding us how it's done. I was getting used to SloppyHot. And SloppyHot has its place, but that TayNew rooftop kiss was a top tear class act. It was tender and sweet and respectful and joyful. It was eye work and breath work and years of practice. How very far BL has come while still staying so much the same. TayNew - I salute you!
(Read all about distribution issues here.)
The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - we waiting, I guess? Bah.
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Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - The recipe book thing was so damn cute and I love a claiming. YOU KNOW I LOVE A CLAIMING!
In fact, I love OffGun.
I love food based BL.
I adored seeing a reboot of "the infamous dragging". 
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But I don’t love anything else about this show. Sigh.
1000 Years Old ep 1 of 12 - Finally we get our gay vampire BL from Feel Good Bangkok. Stars Shane (My Engineer) and fresh face Opal, directed by Champ (2gether). It’s kind of odd but enjoyable. A group of teen UFO seekers find a vampire instead. Opal looks a bit like a mix between Newnu + Leo (VIXX) - so cute + edge. Also, nice to see Shane again on our screens after so long. 
Finally, I like the subtle (and sometimes not subtle) presence of ghosts permeating this show. Do the friends know she's there? Do they know she's dead? Is the existence of paranormal accepted but not that of aliens? Or are the two combined? Is this lazy writing or just fun world building? Who cares! It's enjoyable.
For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 12fin - the nail painting bit was very cutie queers and I've not seen it done in BL before, so that was nice. For some reason captions never dropped for me on this last episode, but it didn’t really matter. Not much happened and I understood everything anyway.
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Quick pitch?
From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night based on a y-novel, about a young man nursing a heartbreak who has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. This turned out to be a pulp that wasn’t half as good as it should have been and even less memorable, but not terrible. 5/10 DON'T BOTHER unless you're v bored
City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - Oh it is such a pulp: the acting is not good and the script is terrible. Of course, I’m mildly enjoying it. Very good dream kissing. There's something appealing about these main characters - I think it's the moot crushes. We rarely get to see that. These days everything feels very one sided, this... isn't.
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A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - Khonprot, a third-year hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks maybe a boy has a chance.
I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. I'll catch it grey if I can, since I've rebooted the bootlegging side of my BL life for Cherry Magic anyway.
So this show may stay in this section, or I may bump it down to "it's airing but..."
If anyone is watching it, let me know if it's good?
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 7-8fin - Ugh it was GREAT, despite some pretty telling flaws. I ended up feeling like some of the filming was amateurish (very overworked low angles - director's first feature, I assume), and the narrative is a little disjoined and on the nose, AND the subs are clumsy (which I don't expect from KBL) BUT I still loved it. (FYI - I wouldn't be so harsh on a BL for this kinda thing except one from Korea.)
Quick pitch:
This isekai-based KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. While I found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, this is certainly much better than early KBL in terms of consistency of tone, script, and immersion. Highly rewatchable and charming, which counts for a lot. 9/10
Trigger warning for suicide depicted.
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Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Gosh, it’s so lovely. But I do just constantly want to give them both hugs. 
AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Oh look, Taiwan has created yet another BL where I spend most of the time watching it grinning like an idiot. Surprise surprise. The pet name thing was fucking adorable. Also Taiwan once more proving they come by their "kings of kissing" title honestly. I mean to say. In a week of good kisses this one was just... WOW.
On the other hand, some of the underpinning themes are starting to v worry me (ownership, consent, age), and we only just got started, and I don't trust this production company so... I have concerns.
But also... YAY KISSES!
(I'm made of weak moral fiber.)
Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - Like many other shows on this list. I just enjoy it the most when the two leads are on screen together. So this episode was kind of lacking because they were apart for most of it. I also am starting to agree with the tone of the plot, that maybe they ARE better off as friends not lovers. (And I'm sure I'm not supposed to want that.) Oh Japan, must you?
My Strawberry Film (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Oh it’s good. In the arthouse lane so don’t expect sweetness & light or an HEA. If there’s no cartoon aspect to a JBL, there’s usually no joy. But it is certainly good. Teens uncover some old film and a mystery around a pretty girl. The background music is wildly annoying (and rarely in the background). 
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It's Done
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.
The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.
Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.
7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) - Gave me Luminous Solution vibes have decided not to watch.
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It's Airing But...
Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting. I'm waiting to know how it ends.
Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.
Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.
Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.
Next Week Looks Like This:
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2/24 Unknown (Taiwan Youku) 12 eps - Older brother tough guy breadwinner looks after his sister and defacto adopted little brother. Little bother falls in love with him and is sent away after a stolen kiss. But when he comes back…
Sam Lin has a cameo so even if I wasn't already excited, I'm in. We should be on our guard though, Taiwan will occasionally go edgy, dark, and sad... this could go there.
One assumes GMMTV is filling in the BL time slot with something queer on their YT Channel after Cooking Crush ends, they gonna lose subs if they don't. But I've not been paying attention to the chatter so I don't know which of their line-up it will be. I think G4 are filming/off radar now, and Earth is in that het noona thing? Plus they gotta sort out the IP for MIx-Up and Ossen. So it won't be one of the announced adaptations. They'll hold My Golden Blood for the high season, so I think it'll be one of the lesser known lead-outs. Wandee or Only Boo maybe? But they only just started filming those. Are we getting our long awaited GL? Anything else left from 2023 that I forgot about?
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
Two crawling kisses from Thailand this week. Now this is a fetish I didn't know I had. Turns out, we love this one! (*waves hand in air* I speak for all of us now.)
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Cooking Crush
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City of Stars
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Possibly the best tsundere to cinnamon roll pivot we've had in a long time.
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Also the best asshole to KING pivot. Could we have a whole drama staring this character now? Please?
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And finally our sunshine learning to love himself.
SIGH. what a lovely show.
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And a good SMILEY kiss from a KBL.
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And then some cute cuddles? Korea is spoiling me these days. I'm catching expectations now. What's next? Japan learns to kiss in their light BLs? Ha! I kill me.
(All Love for Love's Sake).
(Last week)
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mattslolita · 3 months ago
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STURNIOLO TRIPLETS as LANA DEL REY SONGS!
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nick!
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🎵.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎶๋࣭ ⭑👾🎵.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎶๋࣭ ⭑👾🎵.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎶๋࣭ ⭑👾🎵.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎶๋࣭ ⭑👾🎵.𖥔 ݁ ˖🎶๋࣭ ⭑
001. white mustang!
002. summertime sadness!
003. ultraviolence!
004. the other women!
005. high by the beach!
006. art deco!
007. cherry!
008. summer bummer! ft. asap rocky, plaboi carti
009. norman fucking rockwell!
010. young and beautiful!
011. video games!
012. fuck it i love you!
013. born to die!
014. carmen!
chris!
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𐙚‧₊˚🧡✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡𐙚‧₊˚🧡✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡𐙚‧₊˚🧡✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡𐙚‧₊˚🧡✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡𐙚‧₊˚
001. off to the races!
002. diet mountain dew!
003. million dollar man!
004. lolita!
005. west coast!
006. serial killer! ( unreleased )
007. doin time!
008. venice bitch!
009. dealer!
010. jealous girl! ( unreleased )
011. radio!
012. black beauty!
013. groupie love! ft. asap rocky
014. cola!
matt!
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✩°🌊⋆⸜ 🎧✮🫧✩°🌊⋆⸜ 🎧✮🫧✩°🌊⋆⸜ 🎧✮🫧✩°🌊⋆⸜ 🎧✮🫧✩°
001. trash magic! ( unreleased )
002. national anthem! ( @angelbrainrot i giggled )
003. ride!
004. body electric!
005. pretty when you cry!
006. music to watch boys to!
007. in my feelings!
008. lust for life! ft. the weeknd
009. you can be the boss! ( unreleased )
010. love!
011. shades of cool!
012. happiness is a butterfly!
013. say yes to heaven!
014. peppers! ft. tommy genesis
( lilly's section 💌 )
i love making these so much, & i love lana so much. anyways i love u guys, u can always request an artist if you'd like !💌
54 notes · View notes
happypotato48 · 5 months ago
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Wandee Goodday EP 7 Unhinged Tangant Thoughts
Welp, i'm back to simping for Ai Phi Ter. god damn it, my hated for him only last a week i thought it would last longer than that. whatever i have no standards for men and and that hindenburg of a person is too much of a hot disaster for me to look away from.
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this is a nice message and all but shouldn't there more set up for this?
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well i appreciated that they tried to destigmatize mental health nonetheless. cause this topic is very much overlooked in thailand. like most older generations will outright tells young people to go to temples or get a grip instead of seeking professional helps.
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Yak it's only been a few months give Dee more time my dude.
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Dude i know you're mad and all but why you did that. go apologize to the poor custodian staff right now!
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Eyebrows is right Dee stop making a mess and go smooch that hunk of a man!
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Oh hi luke. i've never watch any of the shows he's in, but but but i had watched a behind the screen of a underwear photoshoot he modeled for and it was very very yummy :P
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Make out make out make out. WHAT! don't look at me like that i said already i have no standards.
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We are what we remember and liking Ai Phi Ter will always be a part of Dee, you just need learn to live with that baby boy.
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How about you two dress up as a well adjusted people whose talks to each other for one, hmmm!
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i'm still not going to the gym i don't care how many eye candies there is there i still hate exercises that are not walking/running. but also thanks for this shot show.
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*Me when i saw this*
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What with that face lol. i laughed so hard 🤣
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Did you just came here in that outfit? this bitch has no shame.
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If this were me he would already got me at free food. what can i say i'm easy like that.
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Heaheahea that smile got me. he so slimy and evil. anyway what happened with what her face Ai Phi Ter!
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*second murloc noise of the day*
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And i both love and hate you for it you big doo doo of a man.
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Ok this line literal translation is "why do you like to use violence like that" which i think is a better choice than what got subbed.
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Thanks you gay gods and Yak for both giving me this look and for decking Ai Phi Ter in his stupid face.
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You dumb bitches you dum-dums ahhhhhh.
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Ok sorry, but crying over cringy bunny sextume will never stop be funny for me lol
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saving budget bying never leave the room, smart moved but also give me japan god damn it!
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God bless this mess of a man.
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Oh comeon! don't drag this girl into this mess show just leave her alone with that other cute boy.
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*third murloc noise of the day*
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Ok you betted on this match for money didn't you.
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Fucking finally!
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It's not dull alright baby.
That was a hot mess oh my god, Yak feels off in this ep and yes i do think they're trying to go with mental health problems as an explanation but that was too underbaked for me idk. and for Dee i do get it that he still has lingering feeling for dr. devil but why did they made him goes to Ter's room in that outfit and not trying way harder to get out. i feel like they just went with the early draft of that scene with out changing with how much they've changed the characters. anyways i'm manifesting cherry magic th ep 8 energy for this ep and hope it was just a blip in judgement by the director.
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borathae · 5 months ago
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↳ Index [Chapter 05 - Bonding]
Focus on Pairing: Jungkook x Taehyung
Warnings: a romantic picnic date in the forest, Tae is a nervous mess, he is actually a mess in general, so many insecurities and anxieties and signs of PTSD, please seriously someone hold this man, despite these warnings this chapter is so romantic and healing, Kook is the sweetest and most patient person ever, he is so fucking important to Tae's healing journey, they're really bonding <3, they're so cute :(, there is a moment where "smut" could be implied but i can't say more without spoiling the plot, there is no smut though, ah yes there is also talks about being queer and how amazing it is to be queer, i love being queer no joke <3, and i love them :(
Wordcount: 10.4k
a/n: i feel like these warnings are a mess bahahah i didn't wanna spoiler too much, this chapter is definitely the "angstiest" though which says a lot about this story because it's still so fluffy and sweet despite the "angst"
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Yoongi’s softened eyes meet yours as you open them to a new morning. His face lights up, an adoring smile washes over his features. He must have been gazing at you for a while because his cheeks are slightly flushed.
You retort the smile instantly with your pulse speeding up. His eyes are dark brown again, his hair a deep black, and yet, the memory of how they glowed purple last night is still so fresh to you. He looked so incredibly beautiful.
You reach out and caress his cheek, making him flutter his lashes in contentment. 
“Good morning, my beloved”, you speak softly.
“Good morning.”
“Did you sleep well?”
He nods his head and scoots closer to kiss your forehead.
“I love you”, he whispers, making your heart race.
“I love you too.” 
“My love”, he sighs, giving you a gentle hug.
You snuggle into him, giggling quietly.
“Last night was so nice”, you say.
“It was incredible”, he agrees.
“I can’t stop repeating the way you looked.”
“Me neither, my love. Your magic is so beautiful.”
“Yours is just as beautiful.” 
He gives you a gentle squeeze, “my beloved love.”
You giggle, “Yoongi, oh god. You’re so cute.”
You crane your neck, kissing his lips. He smiles into the kiss, purring in happiness as his hand caresses your cheek. 
You break the kiss once you need to breathe, putting some distance between each other so you could gaze.
“I like you so, so much, Boongie.”
“I like you too, my princess.” 
You smile. He retorts it, holding your hand.
“Do you feel normal?” he asks.
“Yeah, just really happy and a little hungry. Why?” 
“Just so. I still can’t believe you let me cum inside.” 
“Yeah”, you agree with a giddy scrunch of your nose, “I don’t regret it.” 
“Me neither”, he squeezes your hand, “if something happens and you change your mind, I will support you. I just want you to know.”
You know what he insinuates, feeling so incredibly safe with him. 
“Thank you so much”, you kiss his hand, “I love you.”
“I love you too”, he answers you and rubs his tummy, “I’m hungry too.”
“You are? Oh poor Boongie”, you go to rub his tummy even if he giggles as a defence mechanism, “should we get brekky?” 
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
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Taehyung and Jungkook are up earlier than you because the guestroom is already empty when you pass it. Yoongi thinks that they are downstairs and so you continue your way to the kitchen.
Taehyung is sitting cross-legged on the floor, freeing cherries from their pits together with your grandfather. Next to them, your grandmother is kneading dough for a pie. Jungkook isn’t present in the room, but the door to the garden is open. They have the radio on, playing songs from a long passed time. 
“Good morning.” 
Their heads turn in sync with your greeting. Their voices overlap as they all greet you and Yoongi. You hug your grandmother and your hug your grandfather, then you kiss Taehyung on his lips and caress his soft cheek. He leans into the touch with sparkly puppy eyes.
“Did you sleep well?” you ask no one in particular.
“I did”, Taehyung answers, “and you?” 
“We did.”
“We didn’t get to see you at all yesterday.” 
“I know, right? Yoongi and I practiced magic for almost the entire day and when we came back for dinner, you guys were still out, painting? Paps said that you were.”
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One Day Prior
“Well then, I don’t wanna keep you from it. See you later, guys. I love you”, you say and send them flying kisses. You are below their window, carrying a picnic basket and a bright smile.
Taehyung and Jungkook catch the kisses you sent them, giggling just as you do.
“We love you too”, they say in unison, waving you goodbye as you continue your journey to the forest.
“She’s glowing today”, Taehyung says as he watches you skip along the path.
“I thought the same”, Jungkook says.
“Do you think that she will find Yoongi?” 
“I bet she will. But even if she won’t, she’ll have a good time. She’ll probably just look at plants and cry over small animals.” 
Taehyung laughs fondly. Jungkook does the same. 
“That is something she would do.” 
“Yeah right?” 
You disappear out of their sight as the forest swallows you. The two men shift their eyes back to the view of the forest before them. Taehyung steps closer to Jungkook and hugs his waist tighter.
“Your heart’s racing like crazy, by the way”, Jungkook speaks softly as his fingers play with Taehyung’s mindlessly. He has his left hand rested on the window sill and Jungkook took the chance.
“Because I am with you.”
“You’re a softie.” 
“I am. For you”, Taehyung kisses Jungkook’s neck gently, “my weakness.” 
Jungkook smiles fondly, “softie.”
Taehyung purrs, rubbing his cheek against Jungkook’s shoulder. He slips his hands from their intertwined fingers and runs them along his arms instead. Once he reaches his elbows, he changes his touch to his stomach instead, tracing the lines of his muscles with his fingertips. Goosebumps cover Jungkook’s skin instantly, soft purrs rumble in his chest. 
“Do you want to spend time with me today?” Taehyung asks in a whisper.
“Do you have something in mind?”
“Do you want to paint in the forest? Perhaps have a picnic as well?”
“A picnic? It sounds romantic.” 
“It is supposed to be romantic. We haven’t truly gone on a date ever since all of this calmed down.” 
“Right”, Jungkook agrees, “mhm, a picnic in the forest sounds nice.” 
“Really? Do you truly want to spend time with me?”
“Sure, I’d like that.”
“O-on a date?”
“Yes, that sounds nice.”
Taehyung exhales shakily and presses a kiss to Jungkook’s shoulder.
“I am so happy to hear that”, he whispers and breaks away from Jungkook, “I am calling dips on the bathroom.” 
Jungkook chuckles, “alright, do your thing.” 
Taehyung keeps the bedroom door open, singing to himself on his way to the bathroom. 
Jungkook tidies the room a little. He makes the bed, puts away yesterday’s clothing and cleans the clutter on the bedside tables. He takes the empty glasses of water and makes his way downstairs with a melody on his lips. The shower runs and Taehyung sings happily. 
The downstairs is empty, but Jungkook doesn’t worry. He knows where you and Yoongi are and your grandparents are definitely in the garden. Jungkook thinks that it is so lovely that you got your passion for gardening from them. 
Jungkook turns on the radio and begins making the picnic. He eats a slice of raspberry pie for strength and sips from his cup of coffee every now and then. Food tastes so good when it actually nourishes the body. Jungkook really loves it. 
Taehyung comes downstairs when Jungkook has already finished two dishes. 
“You tidied the bedroom.”
Jungkook looks at Taehyung. He is wearing beige dress pants and a white linen shirt with strings in the front to close the collar. He has his sleeves down and golden rings on his fingers. His dark hair is styled. 
“I did”, Jungkook confirms.
“Are you making breakfast?” Taehyung asks and comes behind him to hug his waist. 
“No. I’m preparing the picnic. I had raspberry pie for breakfast. I saved you a slice as well.”
“I see, thank you”, Taehyung says, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Jungkook’s neck.
“Tae, behave”, Jungkook warns and wiggles out of the hug gently. 
“I am. I just wanted to smell you”, Taehyung defends himself.
Jungkook scoffs in amusement, placing the cooking towel aside.
“I’m washing up now. Take out the bread once the timer’s done and check on the potatoes. Don’t touch anything you have no idea how to cook.” 
“You are mean”, Taehyung calls after him. 
Jungkook chuckles. The door closes moments later.
Taehyung looks around the kitchen. Jungkook prepared sandwiches with various fillings, as well as rice rolls with vegetables from the garden. He also has potatoes for a salad boiling happily and seems to bake small baguettes in the oven. 
Taehyung straightens up after looking into the oven, scratching his head in thinking. He has no idea what he could contribute to the picnic. He can’t cook and the one thing he can make - sandwiches – Jungkook already made. 
Perhaps. Taehyung’s eyes light up. Perhaps he could try his luck with pancakes again. He must be better at them these days. He just must. 
With this glorious plan in mind, Taehyung begins his contribution to the picnic.
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Jungkook hurries downstairs.
“What’s burning?” he asks worriedly.
Taehyung has his sleeves rolled up by now and his hair dishevelled just a little.
“Don’t look.”
“Tae, what did you do?”
“Don’t come here.”
Jungkook reaches his side, looking at the stack of burned pancakes. He looks at them with big eyes.
“How can you burn them so bad?” he gasps.
“I swear I did everything right. I worked so diligently on getting them golden”, Taehyung says and pouts, “I’m sorry. I know you told me not to do anything, but I still did.” 
Jungkook laughs, patting his butt gently.
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t apologise. At least you tried. And look, you made five nice ones. That’s an improvement.”
Taehyung’s eyes light up, “that’s right. I did manage to make five nice ones.” 
“Good job, Tae”, Jungkook praises and pats his butt, “also, you took out the bread and potatoes at the right time.”
“I even cut them. Can you see?” 
“I can. Good job. They’re cut very nicely.”
Taehyung scrunches his nose.
“Thank you so much.”
“Now can you get me the salt and pepper? We need to marinate this salad. It’s gonna be so good.” 
“Yes, of course. I can get you spices”, Taehyung says and begins working with sparkly eyes. 
Jungkook studies him. He looks so happy and content now that he can be helpful. Jungkook smiles. He likes seeing Taehyung like this. 
“Should I put them in already?” 
“Yes, go careful. We don’t want it to be too salty.”
Taehyung goes careful, sticking out his tongue in concentration. He sprinkles salt over the potatoes, looking at Jungkook once his fingers are empty.
“Was that good?”
“That was perfect.”
Taehyung’s eyes sparkle. 
“Go ahead and put the pepper in it as well, I’m getting the stuff for the sauce.”
Taehyung sings to the radio as he works. Jungkook listens to him with warmth in his chest. He is always the one others take care of, others baby and coddle and try to help. And while Jungkook likes being coddled, he also sometimes really needs to feel as if he could guide someone, as if he is the one being needed. He really likes what he has going on with Taehyung right now. 
He returns with his hands full, looking into the salad.
“And?” Taehyung asks with expectant eyes.
“Looks good. You’ve done so well”, Jungkook praises.
“Thank you, wow”, Taehyung rests his head against Jungkook’s arm.
“Do you want to do something else?”
“Yes. I want to.”
“Why don’t you make a pretty charcuterie box? I’m sure someone like you can make pretty boxes.”
“Yes, oh I love charcuterie boards. Why a box?”
“So we can take it with us.”
“I see. I understand. I am going to make it very prettily. Just you wait, I will work very hard on it.”
“I’m sure you will.”
The two men share lovely silence like this. Jungkook finishes the potato salad and makes little wraps with a savoury filling, while Taehyung works hard on perfecting the charcuterie box. Jungkook also cuts up some fruits and puts grandma’s pie into a container, while Taehyung still works on his box. And as Jungkook fills the picnic basket with the food, cutlery and plates, Taehyung still works on his box. 
Jungkook allows him this time, eventhough he feels stressed about it. He is someone who likes to move fast, work quickly and finish a lot in little time. He would have finished this box ages ago, but he knows not to comment on it. Taehyung needs it. Jungkook knows way better than one might assume, how important such small moments of quiet are to a traumatised mind. 
So he lets Taehyung work and busies himself with cleaning instead. Taehyung doesn’t notice until Jungkook wipes the counter a little to his right. He lifts his head, looking around the room with big eyes.
“Am I taking too long?”
“It’s okay. Take your time.”
“I am sorry, I am almost finished. I, I am trying to get all the details right.”
“It’s okay, take your time. We still have all day”, Jungkook assures him with a chaste kiss to his jawline, “I’m gonna pop into the garden real quick and ask grandma if they have painting supplies. Take your time, okay?”
Taehyung nods his head, lowering it shyly afterwards.
“Take your time, okay? You’re doing well.”
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Taehyung has finished his charcuterie box, as well as finished packing the basket when Jungkook comes back inside with your grandmother. They are talking about painting as she shows him what they could take for their picnic. Once all supplies are packed, they leave the cottage to finally go on their forest adventure. Jungkook carries everything because he finished putting on his shoes sooner than Taehyung. The latter jogs so he could open the garden door. 
“Thank you”, Jungkook says and enters the forest path. 
Taehyung closes the door, then does another light jog to catch up with Jungkook.
“Should I help you?” he offers, trying to reach for the heavy picnic basket.
“It’s okay, I can manage”, Jungkook says as he carries it with ease. It doesn’t feel heavy to him at all.
“At least let me carry the blanket.”
“It’s fine, seriously.” 
“I feel so useless now.”
Jungkook ogles him and gives up with a sigh.
“Actually, maybe you could carry the blanket. It’s kinda heavy.”
“Of course”, Taehyung says and takes it happily. He throws it over his shoulder, giving Jungkook a shy grin. One Jungkook retorts. 
Their adventure takes them past the lake you and Yoongi are spending time together at. The sound of someone cutting wood fills the air. 
“So this is where she went”, Taehyung says. 
“I guess so, yeah”, Jungkook agrees.
The two men slow down and linger in hiding. Yoongi is cutting wood while you are on the blanket reading a book. You and he seem peaceful and truly lost in your own little world.
“Should we join them?” 
“No, let’s give them their privacy.” 
“Very well. Then I want to walk along this path”, Taehyung says and takes Jungkook’s hand to lead him away. 
Jungkook looks at their intertwined hands, then at Taehyung’s face. The latter seemed content and as if the sudden skinship felt normal to him. 
“The sunlight looks especially beautiful on this path, wouldn’t you agree?” Taehyung asks, looking at Jungkook. He flusters and pulls his hand away, “forgive me.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong”, Jungkook assures him in a soft voice. 
Taehyung lowers his eyes shyly and reaches for Jungkook’s hand again. Carefully. Just a brush of his fingers to test the waters. Pull away. Cheeks flush. Jungkook reaches out and intertwines his fingers with Taehyung, making the decision for him. 
Taehyung meets his eyes and giggles. 
“Mhm”, Jungkook lets out and smiles fondly. He never imagined Taehyung to be so timid, but he likes that he is. Normally, Jungkook is always the one who everyone wants to baby and call shy. So it is a very nice and welcome change to feel as if he could be the one babying someone. 
He pulls Taehyung just a little closer, “you said the sunlight looks especially nice here?”
“Yes, I did. At least I think it does”, Taehyung says and flusters again, “ah please forgive me”, he gets out, breaking away to hide his face in his hands and giggles. 
“What’s the matter?” Jungkook asks in a chuckle, nudging his arm playfully, “why are you so shy?”
“You make me shy”, Taehyung says and glances at Jungkook, “stop it, please.”
“Why? I’m not even doing anything”, Jungkook complains in laughter, stumbling slightly when Taehyung pushes at his arm softly. 
“Yes, you do. You look at me.”
“Oh? I’m sorry then, it won’t happen again”, Jungkook teases and turns his head away. 
Taehyung rounds him, but Jungkook turns his head away again. 
“No”, Taehyung laughs and rounds Jungkook again only for the latter to turn his head away. 
Taehyung whines and grasps for Jungkook, “don’t do that”, he is laughing. 
Jungkook laughs as well, feeling happy when he can tease Taehyung one more time by turning his head away as the latter tries to get his eye contact. 
“I didn’t mean it”, Taehyung says and cups Jungkook’s face. They fight each other gently. Jungkook could easily win in this realm, but he lets Taehyung win instead, laughing heartily at his adorable attempts to steal a glance. 
Taehyung pulls him closer and rubs his nose against Jungkook’s. Jungkook keeps his eyes closed on purpose.
“Look at me, please”, Taehyung begs in a whisper as his fingers grasp Jungkook’s face almost desperately.
Jungkook opens his eyes. 
Taehyung melts in giddiness instantly, scrunching his nose. He flutters his lashes prettily, letting out a shy giggle.
Jungkook chuckles softly and steals a kiss. 
“You’re adorable right now”, he says, sliding his hand together with Taehyung’s and tugging softly, “come on, the basket’s getting heavy.”
Taehyung follows him with wobbly knees, hugging his arm. He rests his head against Jungkook’s shoulder, twisting the fabric of his shirt mindlessly. He hasn’t felt this way about a man in decades. He feels so entirely silly for it because in the grand scheme of endless time, he has only been with Jungkook for a very short time. Four months ever since Namjoon was defeated to be exact. The two men didn’t have enough time yet to truly get to know each other. Taehyung shouldn’t feel so strongly for him already, but he cannot help himself. Courting Jungkook makes Taehyung feel like a giddy, young queer again. He hasn’t felt this way in forever.
He keeps these thoughts to himself however because he fears to be too much. That is why he shied away from holding his hand or why he didn’t dare to call it a date. Yes, Jungkook is very openly and proudly bisexual, but Taehyung doesn’t want to be the reason why Jungkook could question it in a negative way. Taehyung truly feels that he could make him question it. Oh, he feels so insecure lately. As if he was a desperate, pitiful beggar asking for something he wasn’t worthy of. 
Taehyung lifts his head from Jungkook’s shoulder, deepening the hand holding. He gulps. They begin again. The painful thoughts. They have been haunting him for months. They keep him up at night and steal his desire to be creative. The once beautiful sunlight is invisible to him right now. Jungkook’s hand in his’ feels like an act of pity. Taehyung wants to gulp, but can’t because his throat is beginning to constrict. 
“Look. What do you think of this spot?” Jungkook asks and slows down on a small clearing. A patch of grass is stretching its green arms to the sunlight. Small forest flowers break up the lush green in specks of white and yellow. The spot is romantic and intimate. Jungkook knows that Taehyung will like it, so he gets worried when the latter doesn’t answer him.
He looks at him. Taehyung is staring into nothingness with glassy eyes. He is at the same time breathing heavily and not breathing at all.
“Tae?” Jungkook tries, giving his hand a gentle shake.
Taehyung doesn’t react, so Jungkook tries again.
“Taehyung?” he says a little louder.
When Taehyung doesn’t react again, he places himself in front of him and cups his cheeks.
“Taehyung, hey.”
Taehyung flinches, blinking his eyes a few times before they finally focus on Jungkook.
“I lost you for a moment. Are you okay?” 
Taehyung grows embarrassed instantly, “please forgive me”, he whispers, trying to lower his head, but Jungkook doesn’t let him.
“Don’t apologise, you didn’t do anything wrong”, he assures him and brushes his thumb over his cheeks, “what’s the matter? Where did you go when I lost you?”
Taehyung shakes his head.
“You can’t say yet?”
He nods his head.
“Is it too painful?” 
He hesitates, but nods his head in the end.
“I understand. Well, I’m glad that you’re back again and if you want to, you can talk to me.” 
Taehyung nods his head and leans into Jungkook’s touch. He closes his eyes and sighs in relief.
“Now. What do you think of this spot? I think it’s very romantic”, Jungkook asks in order to take his mind off of whatever haunted him before. 
Taehyung peels his eyes open and looks around for a bit. His face gains a happy glow as more and more seconds pass and soon, he carries an honest smile on his lips. 
“I love this spot. It is so romantic”, he says.
“Yeah, right? Let’s set up our picnic here. Come on, teamwork. we’ll put down the blanket together.”
“Yes, alright”, Taehyung says with newly found joy in his voice. 
The two men work perfectly together to prepare the picnic. They lay out the blanket, put down a few pillows and spread out the containers of food. Jungkook hands them to him and Taehyung opens the lids. It is truly perfect teamwork and only a few moments later, the picnic is set up. 
Jungkook and Taehyung are facing each other because it naturally happened this way. Obviously, both men have their shoes off. Jungkook leans back on his hands and stretches out his legs.
“Ah”, he sighs contently, “that’s life. Picnics in nature are the best.” 
He closes his eyes and tilts his face up into the sun. The light feels warm on his skin, filling him with a sense of freedom. He missed the sunlight so much. In the real world, he can’t stay in it for too long because his sensitive eyes would begin aching way too much. Jungkook really treasures the sunny moments here.
Taehyung watches him with a racing heart. Every single inch of his face is perfect. His jawline, his chin, his lips, his nose and forehead. The way his eyes look closed and how his cheeks are so soft. Because he is human in this world, Jungkook’s skin finally looks alive again. It is golden in the sunlight. Taehyung doesn’t exaggerate. He truly thinks that his skin looks as if made out of pure gold. 
Taehyung reaches for his paper and gouache paints and begins sketching what he sees. Taehyung imagines everything in shapes of different colours when he paints. Humans, animals, nature and architecture are basically all just made up of different shapes in different colours to him, which he will replicate in his art until it shows what he sees. Taehyung thinks that Jungkook’s shapes are the most beautiful shapes he has seen in a man’s face in a long time. 
Jungkook moves out of the position when he doesn’t hear Taehyung after a few moments. Worry is prominent in his eyes, he must have thought Taehyung was lost in painful thoughts again.
“What are you doing?” he asks him, studying him.
Taehyung lifts his head and widens his eyes.
“Please don’t move. I am not done yet.”
“Are you drawing me?”
“Yes, please move back to how you were before.”
Jungkook chuckles and does as he is told.
“Like this?”
“No, not like this. Tilt it further.”
Jungkook fixes his head.
“Like this?” 
“No, wait”, Taehyung says and gets on his knees so he could reach for Jungkook’s head. He fixes his position in his stead, oblivious to Jungkook’s eyes on him until he goes to fix the strands of hair on his forehead. Jungkook is smiling at him, letting his pretty eyes run over his face. There is fond playfulness sparkling in them.
Taehyung flusters, pulling his fingers away. 
“Forgive me. I didn’t ask for permission to touch”, he whispers, feeling mesmerised by Jungkook’s eyes.
Jungkook stays quiet, which makes Taehyung nervous.
“I am sorry”, he says, “really.”
Jungkook reaches up and brushes the back of his hand over Taehyung’s chin.
“You’re so handsome”, he whispers.
“What?” Taehyung breathes, feeling lightheaded.
“You’re so handsome”, Jungkook says and smiles, tracing his thumb over Taehyung’s lips.
They part. His eyes lower. His cheeks flush.
“Oh god”, Taehyung presses out and falls back with his face hidden in his hands, “please stop it.”
“Why? You’re normally not that shy.”
“Because you aren’t like this normally.”
“I don’t know what you’re saying. I’m just as I always am.” 
“No you are not, you are looking at me.”
“Why am I not allowed to look at you?” Jungkook laughs and closes the distance between them to overwhelm Taehyung. He pushes him to his back, grabbing his wrists to pin them above his head. 
“Ah”, Taehyung moans softly, having to gasp for air afterwards. 
Jungkook is pinning him down, staring so deeply into his eyes, Taehyung feels dizzy. 
“Mhm? Why am I not allowed to look at you?” Jungkook whispers in a slight rasp. 
“I, I”, Taehyung stutters, but can’t think of anything to say.
Jungkook chuckles and places a kiss on Taehyung’s jawline. The latter arches his back and sighs, parting his legs for something which never comes. 
“You’re so cute, Tae”, Jungkook whispers and breaks away to return to the pose.
Taehyung needs a few moments to function again. He lies still on the blanket, staring at the sky with a racing heart. The spot Jungkook kissed is tingling uncontrollably, his stomach is spilling over with butterflies. He is done for, isn’t he? 
In the past, Taehyung was the one to fluster Jungkook, to steal his breath and make him malfunction with just a touch. Not anymore, not when true feelings are involved. Nothing but a look is already enough to mess up his thoughts, a touch truly renders him useless. Taehyung is so done for.
“Are you going to paint me?” Jungkook asks. 
“Forgive me, I”, Taehyung sits up and tries to fix his hair. His fingers shake a little as he reaches for his brush, “ye-yes I am. Please uhm, please hold still.”
Jungkook chuckles, “you’re so cute”, he says and closes his eyes.
They spent quiet like this, but it is never truly silent. The song of birds, the humming of insects and the rushing of the wind keeps them company. Taehyung’s brush makes a faint sound as he guides it over the paper. It doesn’t take him long to finish his sketch. He has been painting for more than eight hundred years after all.
“You are allowed to move again.”
“Yeah? Did I turn out well?” Jungkook asks and tries to look.
“No peeking”, Taehyung says and moves the paper away, “I want to finish it first.”
“Alright, if you say so”, Jungkook chuckles and sits back. He shifts his eyes to the picnic, “you don’t mind if I start eating, do you?”
“No, go ahead.” 
“Mhhm nice. Oh all of that looks so yummy. Mhm what should I take first? Uh gimbap”, Jungkook mumbles to himself as he fills his plate with a variety of foods.
Once his plate is finished, he prepares one for Taehyung as well. He places it next to him, laughing when he moves the paper away panickedly.
“I wasn’t tryna peek, just made you food.”
“Oh. Thank you”, Taehyung says with a blush. 
“Enjoy”, Jungkook says and pecks his pink cheek, before sitting back to begin eating. 
He does so with his eyes scanning over the scenic view. The sunlight breaks through the leaf canopy perfectly so that the sun rays are visible. There are small bugs and butterflies fluttering in the lights. 
“I think I wanna paint the forest”, Jungkook says and busies himself by setting up his painting station. He makes breaks for snacking every now and then.
“The forest is a wonderful motive”, Taehyung murmurs with his mouth stuffed with food. He truly enjoys the taste. Jungkook is a very talented cook.
“Yeah, I agree. Have you been painting for long?” 
“Yes, all my life. Even when I was still human, I painted in my spare time.”
“Damn, then you’ve been painting for forever.”
“I truly enjoy it. Painting, or art in general, brings me great peace of mind. I find myself truly zone out whenever I create art.”
“I get that. My brain sorta shuts off too when I paint.”
“So you paint as well?”
“I do, yeah. Just not as passionately as you.”
“I see. Did you paint as a human as well?” 
“No, not really. I was more of a drawing kinda guy back then. I always loved the sketches I did, but hated colouring them. I honestly still do. I prefer to draw than to paint.” 
“I see. I really love drawing as well, but I prefer painting.”
“It suits you.”
“What does that mean?” Taehyung asks, meeting Jungkook’s eyes.
“Just that painting suits you”, he smiles, “it’s a compliment.”
“Oh”, he flusters, looking away, “thank you.”
Jungkook feels warm fondness in his chest for Taehyung. He is genuinely so cute when he flusters.
“Okay, idea. What are your top five art forms?” he asks because he wants to keep talking to him.
“My top five art forms?” 
“Yes, painting, sculpting, stuff like that. What are your top five? They don’t have to be in order, just what do you love the most?” 
“No one ever asked me that before.”
“I thought it could be fun. Normal date questions can be so boring.”
Taehyung flusters. A date. He is truly on a date. He almost forgets about his answer because of how giddy he feels.
“Well then, uhm”, he begins, “I would say that painting is my most favourite, I enjoy pottery a great deal and the entire process of painting the pieces. I would also consider embroidery to be one of my favourites.”
“Embroidery?”
“Yes, I like it.”
“That’s so cool. I never tried embroidery before, but I think it’s such an impressive art skill.”
Taehyung studies Jungkook’s features. Jungkook doesn’t hate him, does he? He is actually interested in him. Taehyung doesn’t need to feel like a pitiful beggar because there is nothing he needs to beg for with Jungkook. He gives him attention and interest willingly. Taehyung cannot put his feelings into words yet, but what Jungkook is doing right now feels healing to Taehyung. 
“It is so much fun. I really love it”, Taehyung says and takes a deep breath. The air filling his lungs feels so good all of a sudden. 
“You have to show me how to do it one day. I would love to learn.”
“Yes. Yes, I can teach you”, Taehyung says, bouncing on the spot excitedly. 
Jungkook grins, “awesome. I’ll take you up on your offer then. Now back to the question, give me two more.”
Jungkook is so interested in him. Holy fuck, Taehyung feels like finally diving up for air after an endless battle under water. He talks with his heart racing addictingly in his chest.
“I would also say that I enjoy writing poetry a great deal and my fifth thing would be” he thinks for a moment, “does music count?”
“Of course it does.”
“Then I would say that I truly enjoy music. Making it or writing it. I love it.”
“These are good answers. They fit you all so well.”
Taehyung blushes. They fit him. His favourite art fits him. 
“Thank you”, he whispers with a racing pulse. This is what being human is about. Racing heartbeats because of love.
“Now ask me a question. Let’s make a game out of it. We take turns asking questions.”
“Oh, I love this idea. I shall think of a question.”
“Don’t be shy. Every question is allowed. Even dirty ones.”
Taehyung blushes, “don’t say that.”
Jungkook laughs.
Taehyung takes in the sound and puts it into his memory drawer of favourite things. He studies Jungkook for a moment. He wants to get the first question right. Jungkook’s first question was so perfect that Taehyung doesn’t want to disappoint. Jungkook bites off from his sandwich. Food! Taehyung has the first question!
“Have you been cooking for long?” 
“Yes, I liked to occasionally cook as a human, then had to give it up for a while because of my curse, but when I moved in with Seokjin and Hoseok joined us, I picked it up again.”
“That is so wonderful. I never learned how to cook.”
“I can teach you.”
“Oh? Oh no”, Taehyung shakes his head and laughs, “it’s rotten work.”
“Not to me.” 
Taehyung stops laughing. He meets Jungkook’s eyes. The latter smiles sweetly.
“Not to me it’s not. I can teach you”, he says. 
Something inside Taehyung snaps. Or shifts into its rightful place. Whatever the case, Taehyung cannot take the feelings in his chest and so he acts. 
He closes the distance between him and Jungkook, grasping his face to pull him into a kiss. A kiss so passionate he feels tears well up in his eyes.
“Mhm”, Jungkook lets out in surprise, closing his eyes after a few moments of baffled blinking. 
He laughs into the kiss, combing his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. The kiss is so passionate. So desperate. Filled with such urgent pleas. Jungkook soon feels his composure falter. He was never kissed like this before. He was kissed with passion, with desire, with desperation, with warm love and adoration, but he was never kissed with such suffocating urgency before. He was never kissed as if it was the only remedy to an ache unknown, as if his lips carried the only spark of life a dying flame clings to.
When Taehyung breaks the kiss, Jungkook feels just a little out of it. Not in a sexual way, but in a deeply emotional way. His lips still taste his kiss, his scalp still feels the paths his fingers took. 
“Can I be yours?” Taehyung whispers shakily, resting his forehead against Jungkook’s.
“Tae…”
“Please. I, I know I am rushing it. I know that I am too much and that I am not easiest to like, but-”
Jungkook places his finger against Taehyung’s lips. Taehyung exhales shakily.
“Tae, why are you asking this? You’re already mine.”
“I am?” 
Jungkook nods his head, breaking away from him just so he can cup his cheek. Taehyung gazes up at him, holding his breath. The adoration in Jungkook’s eyes is honest and goes so very deep.
“You’ve been mine for months. Do you think that I see this as a casual fling?”
“I don’t know”, Taehyung whispers.
“Well, I don’t. I don’t do flings, I do it seriously or I don’t do it at all. You’ve been mine for months now.” 
“Oh”, Taehyung lets out and overwhelmed by his feelings, he falls around Jungkook’s neck in a tight hug.
Jungkook chuckles fondly, hugging him back.
“I was so worried.”
“I could tell. Don’t be anymore, I want this to be serious just as much as you do.”
Taehyung lets out a relieved laugh and buries his face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck. He sobs softly afterwards, grabbing a bundle of his hair to hold it for support. He needs it. He would be lost without it.
“Hey, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?” Jungkook asks worriedly.
“I haven’t felt like this for a man in decades. I feel so young again. So, so…so…I feel so alive.” 
“You’re so sweet, Tae. I feel really happy as well.” 
Taehyung sits back on his feet, taking Jungkook’s hands. His glassy eyes never leave his’, racing between them in adoring obsession.
“I love being queer when I can feel this way.”
“You do?”
Taehyung nods his head, “I witnessed many phases of humanity and how it handled us. Most weren’t good. But the way you make me feel makes me so happy to be who I am.” 
“Really?”
“Yes. Oh yes, I am so happy. I am queer”, he spills tears, smiling, “I am queer and I am free and I, I”, he falters, furrowing his brows as his lower lip trembles.
“Go on”, Jungkook encourages him in a whisper, thumb caressing his knuckles slowly.
“I am in love with you. I am so deeply in love with you that I could fill galaxies with it. This isn’t desire. I could go without sleeping with you if that is what you asked. I could miss out on sex. I could. I, I truly could be-because what makes me happiest is being with you.”
Taehyung fights for air before he continues.
“You have no idea what this means. I live for sex, I enjoy it, I desire it, I need it. But if we never made love again, I wouldn’t miss it because I could still be with you. I love you so much that I finally know what it is to love.” 
Silence. Taehyung is panting for air. Jungkook studies his face.
“God Tae”, he says “you really held back on a lot, didn’t you?”
Taehyung shies away. His chest tightens. He was too much. Came off as overbearing and as if he wanted to bury Jungkook in love. 
“I’m sorry”, he chokes out.
“No, god I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a negative way. I’m happy that you are letting it out. I wanna be someone you can share your feelings with safely”, Jungkook says and tilts his head up so their eyes reconnect, “okay?”
Taehyung nods his head, feeling the warmth return to his chest. 
“I’m happy to be queer as well, Tae. I grew up in a very conservative, queerphobic time, so to be surrounded by people like us and to have the opportunity to love freely, makes me so happy to be queer.” 
Taehyung agrees with a nod of his head. 
“And I love spending time with you as well. You are cute and gentle and you have a good heart. I know you’re older than me, but I want to protect you and take care of you. It makes my heart race and I know it’s because I’m falling in love with you, I can feel that I am.” 
“You do? You really do?” 
“I do”, Jungkook smiles, “I don’t lie about love. If I say something, I mean it.”
“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and hugs him, “I’m so happy.”
The two men hug for quite a while. They settle back in their places after the hug, but sit a lot closer together. Their knees are touching at all times, sometimes Taehyung or Jungkook reaches over to caress the other’s leg. Taehyung can’t stop sneaking glances at Jungkook and neither can the latter. It feels good to know that the other felt the same.
“Were you in a queer relationship before our poly family?” Taehyung asks and picks his paint brush back up. He can barely paint. He is so giddy that his hand is shaking in a positive way.
“No”, Jungkook shakes his head, “the only relationship I had before our poly family was with my human sweetheart. Otherwise, I wasn’t in any kind of relationship before our poly family. I tried not to kill people by staying away from them.” 
“I see. I am sorry. Life must be so lonely as a Ripper or Glutton.” 
“It really fucking is”, Jungkook says and despite his words, smiles at Taehyung, “but I’m not lonely anymore. I have our family. My past was sad, but my present isn’t anymore.” 
Taehyung smiles, “that is so good to hear. You deserve it.” 
“Thanks. Yeah”, Jungkook says and looks at his painting. He looks just a little shy. Shy, but also content. 
Taehyung studies his face for a little while, enjoying the way his heart races in his chest. He reaches out and caresses his leg. 
“So you didn’t even try anything with Hoseok or Seokjin?” he asks.
Jungkook lowers his paint brush, looking at the trees as he thinks. 
“Not really? Not actual sex at least. I was too out of control, I would have just ended up ripping their heads off.”
“I see. How terrible.”
Jungkook agrees with a nod of his head.
“We did cuddle a lot, but that’s not queer, that’s just being really good friends.”
“Of course. Good friends can cuddle just as well as partners can.”
“Exactly”, Jungkook smiles fondly, “I love them both so much. They saved me. I think I would have killed myself eventually if I had never met them.” 
Taehyung furrows his brows. Jungkook meets his worried eyes. He touches the side of his neck awkwardly.
“I know, heavy stuff. Sorry.” 
“Don’t apologise. Please don’t ever apologise for that”, Taehyung insists, shaking his head, “I understand. You had no support system, killed against your will and had to cope with it alone. Of course your situation drove you to consider suicide. I am so happy that you held out for as long as you did, so you could meet them. This world would have been a sad one without you in it. You are such a strong person, you truly are.”
Jungkook lowers his eyes, touching his chest.
“Well fuck, nobody ever called me a strong person for this. It took so much strength to keep going, so uhm, yeah. Thanks. Seriously, thanks.”
Taehyung holds Jungkook’s hand gently.
“I was truthful”, he whispers.
“I know”, Jungkook whispers as well, lifting his eyes.
Taehyung gazes at him, giving him a shy smile the moment their eyes meet. Jungkook leans in to place a soft kiss on Taehyung’s lips. The latter receives it with a fluttering heart. Jungkook pulls back afterwards, giving him a grin. He picks his paintbrush back up and continues painting. 
Taehyung looks at him for just a second longer before continuing his painting as well. 
“So who was your first ever queer experience?”
“Yoongi.”
“Indeed?” 
“Yeah. God, it’s so embarrassing to think about because I was so out of control back then”, Jungkook says as he has to laugh.
“Really? Tell me about it”, Taehyung snickers as well.
“God, it’s so embarrassing. We didn’t even try a lot. He just touched my cock and I already spiralled. I called him a fucker and tried to rip his jugular out.”
“Oh heavens.”
“Yeah, he had to use force to pin me down and then used his compulsion to calm me down. I kept snapping at him and growling like a fucking idiot. I was such a mess back then”, Jungkook says and laughs.
Taehyung joins him, staring at his lips the entire time.
“That does indeed sound like a very wild time.”
“It was. It really was. God”, Jungkook snorts in amusement, “I felt so bad afterwards and kept crying and beating myself up about it, but Yoongi stayed calm and comforted me. That’s why I can laugh about it these days. It could have become another bad memory, but I look back at it fondly.”
“Of course. It shows how far you have come.”
Jungkook meets Taehyung’s eyes in surprise. He understands.
“Exactly. Yeah, that’s right”, he breathes.
Taehyung smiles shyly, lowering his eyes at his painting. He feels giddy when Jungkook looks at him. He really does.
Jungkook studies his face for a few more moments. He starts to understand what Taehyung means. He hasn’t really felt this way about another man ever and it is a very good feeling. He feels really young and giddy this way. 
“Did you always know that you weren’t hetero?” Taehyung asks.
“Mhm, I don’t know. I don’t think so”, Jungkook says, looking at the trees as he thinks, “I honestly felt really happy in my heterosexuality when I was human and I also didn’t really consider other men as attractive. Of course I could see that some were handsome, but I wasn’t attracted to them.” 
“I see. So you discovered yourself when you were already turned.”
“I did, yeah. And you? You told me once that you first thought that you were just gay.”
“I told you that?”
“Yeah, in the car. After we hate fucked.”
Taehyung laughs, Jungkook does as well.
“You remember this all this time?” 
“Of course I do.”
“Oh”, Taehyung says and lowers his eyes. 
Jungkook watches him with growing worry in his chest. He keeps making himself small with each confirmation that Jungkook feels the same. As if he didn’t want to believe that he was worthy of affection. 
“Is it my turn to ask you a question?” Jungkook asks him.
Taehyung nods his head, still staring at his hands.
“What troubles you lately?” 
Taehyung looks up in shock.
“This is your question?” 
Jungkook nods his head. 
Taehyung looks away. He stays silent for a long time, losing himself deep in his thoughts. What isn’t troubling him? How does he put something into words which he doesn’t understand either? He can’t find an answer in the end.
“Can you please ask something else?” 
“That’s okay, I can do that”, Jungkook assures him, “how many queer relationships were you in before our poly family?” 
Taehyung relaxes again.
“Serious or casual?” 
“Both.”
“Oh heavens, casual way too many to count. I am quite frankly, such a whore.”
Jungkook laughs, Taehyung does as well.
“As for serious, I would say that I had four serious relationships before our poly family.”
“Four you say? Are they still alive?”
“No, they were all human. I loved them all very much. Their loss ached very deeply.”
“I can imagine. I’m so sorry, Tae.”
“I have healed from it”, he assures him and leans in to kiss him.
Jungkook lets it happen with a fluttering heart. He gazes when the kiss breaks.
“What was that for?” he whispers 
“Because I feel so happy to be with you”, Taehyung whispers.
“I see. Then I gotta steal one too, don’t I?” he says and takes Taehyung’s cheeks to use them as leverage to push him onto the blanket. Taehyung falls with a laugh. 
They shove and push the picnic and paintings aside, losing themselves in the kiss seconds later. They will be lost in it for a long time. They will use this time in the sweetest, most healing way possible with tangled limbs and dancing lips, mixing in innocent touches and sighs of each other’s names. 
And they will make each other feel good. It will feel so incredibly good to them that their hearts will beat in sync through it all. And it will be innocent. It will be the sweet, innocent exchange of touches between two people who are so freely themselves when they are together.
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The sun is in the midst of setting already when Taehyung feels the need to share what had burdened him for months. A blanket cocoons them in, keeping their bodies warm in the sinking temperatures. They are on their backs, watching the sky change colours. Jungkook’s body is touching Taehyung’s, sharing warmth this way. Jungkook has his arm stretched to the side, Taehyung is resting his head on it.
“Can you keep secrets?” Taehyung whispers.
“I tend to forget a lot of what other people tell me, so I can definitely keep a secret because I’ll forget it again.”
Taehyung laughs loudly, craning his neck to look at Jungkook.
“I mean it”, Jungkook snickers. 
“I know, I just thought that it was funny.”
“Yeah, I know”, Jungkook grins, “now what’s up? What secret do you wanna tell me?” 
Taehyung rolls his head back into a more comfortable position. Despite his muscles, Jungkook’s arm is very comfortable to rest on.
“I think it is more of an empty talk about my feelings than an actual secret.”
“That’s okay too. I can listen.” 
“I sometimes dream of being controlled. Of being told what to do, how to act, where to sit or stand or lie, what to wear. I dream of it. Dream of having every single aspect of my life dictated.”
Jungkook looks at Taehyung with slightly widened eyes, while the latter is too lost in his rant to notice.
“And the thing is? I haven’t figured out whether it is a trauma thing or not. For many, many centuries I didn’t have freedom and lived under constant mind control. I had someone controlling me, but he hurt me as well. A lot.���
“It’s okay”, Jungkook whispers and holds Taehyung’s hand. He heard the tremble in his voice and needed to be there for him. 
Taehyung speaks easier with Jungkook’s support.
“I shouldn’t want to be controlled again, but I still dream of it. I truly do. I want to put myself into the hands of another and let them decide what is best for me. Is this wrong of me?” 
“You asked me too quickly. I need to think about it for a little.”
“No, please. This was just a rhetorical question, please don’t tell me your stance on it.”
“Why not? It could be good.”
“And if it is not? I cannot bear to be ridiculed, I am not stable enough for it.”
Jungkook looks at Taehyung, the latter can’t bear to meet his eyes.
“Are you currently having a hard time?” Jungkook asks quietly. 
“I think I might”, Taehyung confesses, “it hasn’t been that long since our situation has truly calmed down and I feel very lost these days.”
“You do?” 
Taehyung nods his head, “my life is so different to how it once was. All of our lives are. In the past, Yoongi rarely left his wing, let alone conversed with us, but these days he is spending time with us and talking with us. You, ___, Seokjin, Hoseok and Emma weren’t part of my life either and suddenly you live with us. Peace was never truly lasting for Jimin and me, but now it is our new reality. I am aware that our dynamic changed when we travelled the lands in search for Namjoon, but I feel like we didn’t have time yet to truly bond.”
“We didn’t have time yet to make sense of our situation.”
“Exactly. We didn’t have time yet to truly let it set in. At least this is how I feel. I feel so lost because everything changed so much and now I do not know what to do. How do I live freely? How do I find happiness? How do I…”
Taehyung looks away, touching his chest.
“How do I heal?” he whispers.  
“God Tae”, Jungkook whispers and rolls to his side. He gets on his elbow, closing the distance to Taehyung to place a tender kiss on his temple. He hugs his head gently, massaging his scalp slowly and keeping his lips against his temple. 
“I do not know how to live my life now that I am free and I think that it gives me a hard time. I am restless and nervous and scared to settle. What if I settle and then something ruins it again? What if I make peace with the fact that I am free only to be captured again? What if I allow myself to heal only to be hurt again? What if”, Taehyung gulps, reaching for Jungkook’s chest, “Jungkook, I think I might struggle more than I initially thought. My heart is beating uncomfortably. I don’t like this sensation, my throat is so tight.”
“You’re safe. You’re in the beginning of a panic attack, but you’re safe”, Jungkook comforts him, rubbing his chest in slow circles, “try to follow my breathing. I know it’s difficult, but you’re not gonna die. Promise.” 
Taehyung listens to Jungkook’s comforting words and finds healing in breathing with him. He felt smothered by his thoughts. Small, fragile and incapable of carrying their weight, but breathing helps. His pulse, which once tortured him, becomes bearable again. The rope once tightening around his throat dissolves again. 
“There we go”, Jungkook caresses his cheek, “you did it. I’m so proud of you.”
Taehyung closes his eyes and leans into Jungkook’s palm. 
“How did you know what was happening to me?”
“Experience. I didn’t have the easiest life as a human once I was drafted. I had a lot of panic attacks in the barracks and the trenches and I helped many of my comrades as well.”
“I see.”
“That’s why I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I understand how you feel so well.” 
“You do?”
“Of course. When something changes you as a person as drastically as trauma does, it is difficult to relearn yourself. And it’s only natural to feel restless and lost in calm moments when your life consisted of pain and trauma for so long.”
Jungkook brushes Taehyung’s tears away.
“I know that our traumas aren’t the same, but I also felt like you feel right now when I first had a holiday from the frontlines. Life back home was relatively normal, nobody changed drastically and I should have found peace in resting, but I couldn’t. I had changed. I woke up screaming, crying and throwing up from my nightmares, every loud sound felt like torture to me, my sweetheart’s affection made me uncomfortable and I kept shaking even in calm moments. My family had no idea how to help me and I had no idea how to live a peaceful life anymore because peace felt like mockery to me after everything I went through at the frontlines.” 
“I’m so sorry. Oh Kook, war is terrible. I hate that men never learn. It shouldn’t happen. It never should have. What an awful way to solve disagreements. What an awful, inhuman way.” 
“I agree”, Jungkook says and rests his forehead against Taehyung’s, “but what I want to say by sharing this part of me, is that you’re not alone. Our traumas may have different origins, but I understand how lost you feel in the peace and how anxious this makes you.” 
Taehyung whimpers softly, spilling tears against his will. Jungkook wipes them, keeping close to Taehyung.
“It gets easier, I promise. I never officially returned from the war because I became a Ripper before that, but I still experienced trauma afterwards and when I began to settle with Seokjin, I felt just as lost again because peace wasn’t an option for so long. It gets easier with time, I promise.”
“How long did it take you?”
“A few years.”
“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and sobs softly, “years.”
“It could be different for you. I wasn’t in control back, so obviously I didn’t have absolute peace. But your situation is different and maybe it won’t take you years to be comfortable in the peace. Oh Tae, it’s okay. Let it all out”, Jungkook says and works diligently to wipe every tear Taehyung spills. 
“I don’t know why I am crying.”
“It’s okay. That’s all part of the healing. Let it happen.” 
And so Taehyung cries. He cries in grief for the person he could have been if he had never gone through hell. He cries in relief from being freed of this hell. And he cries in sweet realisation that he wasn’t alone in this, that he had Jungkook offering him comfort. He cries for many reasons and it felt good to do so. 
His thoughts are clearer after the cry, his chest not that heavy. 
Jungkook changed positions by now, resting on his side propped up on his elbow and with his hand drying his tears. 
Taehyung rolls to his side, looking up at him. He stopped crying many breaths ago. Jungkook still cradles his cheek and brushes his thumb under his eyes slowly.
“I feel better”, Taehyung whispers.
“That’s good to hear. You did really well. I know crying sucks, but it’s so healthy for you. Don’t ever hold it back.”
“It’s overwhelming sometimes.”
“That’s understandable. Come to me whenever you feel like crying. I’ll pay you company as you do.”
“What if it happens often?”
“Then I’ll pay you company until often turns into occasionally and sometimes until it finally turns into rarely.” 
“Oh.”
Jungkook brushes his thumb over Taehyung’s temple.
“You’re not a burden, Tae. You aren’t too much or overbearing. You never were and never will be. Not for me and not for our family.”
Taehyung places his shaky hands on Jungkook’s chest. 
“Can you control me?” he gets out.
“I’m sorry?” 
“Please can you control me? I don’t know what to do, but you do. Can you be the one to control me?”
Jungkook’s eyes soften.
“Oh Tae”, he whispers, “no, I won’t. You will always be free with me.”
“Please. I’m begging you. I don’t know what to do.”
“Then I’ll be with you as you walk the unknown path.” 
“Oh.”
“I won’t promise you anything like control, because I don’t ever want to take advantage of you, but one thing you can always count on is me. I’ll carry burdens which are too heavy for you, I’ll show you the way and you can always lean on me, okay?”
Taehyung nods his head.
“Okay”, Jungkook says and kisses Taehyung’s forehead. 
Taehyung exhales shakily, chasing the affection with closed eyes.
“Sweetheart”, Jungkook whispers and kisses his lips gently. He had no ulterior motive behind the kiss, no ill intent. But Taehyung is fragile and confused, lost in a situation he knows not to handle healthily.
Taehyung whimpers into the kiss, he chases it, deepens it with trembling lips. His hands slide to Jungkook’s small waist, his breath is instantly quickened, his heart races unbearably. He kneads Jungkook’s waist, touches it, grasps it. He needs to make sure he stays. He needs to stay please. Taehyung whimpers again, lips shaking against Jungkook’s, and then he slides his hands under his shirt to feel his naked skin. 
Jungkook breaks the kiss with a gentle “hey”, followed by a chuckled, “what are you doing?” 
“I’m yours, please I’m yours so, so claim me.”
“Claim you?” 
Taehyung pushes at Jungkook’s chest to gain space. The younger man lets him, gawking at him in confusion. Taehyung hooks his fingers in his own shirt and pulls it over his head.
“Tae, no wait-” 
He is shirtless, panting heavily but his eyes carried discomfort Taehyung wasn’t even aware that he felt it.
“God Tae, what are you doing?” Jungkook gasps.
“Take me, I-I can serve you well”, Taehyung stutters, presenting himself in an arch of his back. There are tears in his eyes and fragility in his voice. 
Jungkook studies his naked torso for a second, exhaling deeply. He takes Taehyung’s discarded shirt and unbuttons it.
Taehyung puts his hands together and presents them to Jungkook, thinking that he wants to tie him up with the shirt. 
But Jungkook doesn’t. Jungkook cradles his hands and holds them one by one as he slides the sleeves back on. He smoothes out the shirt on his back and closes it again in the front. 
“I don’t understand. Do you not want me?”
“I do, just not like this.”
“Is it because I’m human? I, I can make myself pretty, I-”
“No Tae”, Jungkook cups his cheek, silencing his anxious words, “no Tae” he whispers, “you’re beautiful. So incredibly beautiful.” 
Taehyung lowers his eyes. Jungkook continues with the buttons. 
“But you seem unstable to me.”
Taehyung meets Jungkook’s eyes again.
“Consent is more than just believing someone’s words. It’s about reading the situation and I can tell that you don’t really know what you actually want right now.”
Taehyung sniffles in order not to cry. It has been a long time since someone saw him.
“Let’s drink something for now, okay?” Jungkook suggests, rubbing his upper arms soothingly.
Taehyung nods his head.
“Okay. Do you want lemonade?”
“Yes”, he whispers.
“Okay. Me too. I think lemonade is really yummy. You?” Jungkook asks, preparing the fruity drink.
“Me too”, Taehyung whispers, accepting the cup from Jungkook. 
Jungkook clings cups with him, making him giggle and lift his shoulders to his ears in shyness. 
Jungkook smiles at him, draping his arm around his waist.
“I like hearing you giggle, Tae. You’re really cute.”
“I am?”
Jungkook kisses his cheek, “you are.”
Taehyung whimpers and snuggles his face into his neck, squeezing his waist tightly.
“Thank you.”
“It’s the truth. You’re cute.”
“No. Thank you.”
“For what?” 
“For stopping it.”
Jungkook furrows his brows, tightening his jaw. How many people ignored the signs and took advantage of Taehyung’s unstable attempts to “serve”? He shouldn’t thank him. Not for something that should be the bare minimum. Jungkook is a very protective person. Once he loves a person (in whatever form that love comes) he will literally burn the world for them. He feels numbing anger right now, wanting to hurt whoever took advantage of Taehyung. But he doesn’t let it show for Taehyung’s sake, speaking softly with the mentally fragile man.
“You’ll always be safe with me, Tae.” 
“I know”, his voice is shaky as he speaks. 
“It’ll never change. You’re safe and I’m gonna keep you safe.”
Taehyung exhales shakily and while it was shaking, it carried the first indicator of stableness in it. Just a little, just enough that Jungkook knows that all Taehyung really needs right now is a shoulder to lean on and someone being gentle with his words.
“I don’t think I enjoy being dominant as much as I thought I did”, Taehyung confesses quietly.
Jungkook tries to glance at him as best as possible.
“Not in a sexual context, but in general. I crave to be taken care of. I ache for it.”
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are in a vulnerable mental state. It’s okay to want to be taken care of.”
Taehyung lifts his head, looking up at Jungkook with glassy eyes.
“Will you take care of me? Please? At least this?” he asks – begs – him.
“Of course Tae, I’ll take care of you.” 
“Oh god”, Taehyung chokes out and buries his face in Jungkook’s chest, “this felt so good to hear.”
Jungkook closes his arms around him, massaging his scalp slowly.
“Can we stay like this for a while?”
“Yeah, let’s stay like this for a while.”
66 notes · View notes
waitmyturtles · 11 months ago
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1) CHERRY MAGIC (episode 2) IS SO GOOD, I HAVE TO COVER MY MOUTH AND KEEP MY MEEPS FROM BEING TOO LOUD
2) GOD, TAYNEW! New is SMASHING THIS.
3) The wonderful @so-much-yet-to-learn and I had a discussion a couple months ago about the stylistic and rumored decisions to not have Kurosawa and Adachi (Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji) kiss in the Japanese Cherry Magic adaptation. The rumors (only seen online and not at all confirmed with primary sources) were that Machida's and Adachi's agencies were not supportive of the two having an on-screen smooch. We also considered the public vs. private taboos of public displays of affection in Japanese society and art, which differ from those in other Asian countries (like Thailand).
It's not known if the two actors felt differently about not kissing. At least Machida's agency, Gekidan Exile/Exile Tribe, has provided quite the number of actors in other Japanese BLs who have acted out many more deeds on screen, from Candy Color Paradox to Tokyo in April Is..., and more.
But I think part of the campy gloriousness of the Japanese Cherry Magic adaptation was, in fact, the lack of kissing, and the sensual acting around the indication of that kissing, from Kurosawa's eagerness and his constant struggle to control his emotions, to Adachi's discomfort-to-acceptance-and-happiness journey. There was tremendous communication in their body and verbal language that got them to their happy ending in the series, and to not have the actual kiss was, for me, dramatically satisfying for how that decision was supported through the excellent acting and the painstaking details of the show.
So, for so many of us, as we learned that TayNew would take up this mantle in Thailand last year, we were like -- alright, NOW we are going to get the kisses, right?
And at least for now, we haven't, which makes me wonder a bit. We saw Kurosawa's lips touch Adachi's forehead in Japan,
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and Karan's lips were hidden by Achi's fluffy bangs in Thailand.
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Does New need some texturizing, or was this on purpose? (I'm CACKLING, poor Tay, look at that hair in his FACE, omg.)
If this was a stylistic nod to Japan? Then... well done, because at least I noticed it, and kinda loved it. We know (WE KNOWWWW, heh heh, thank you, Kiss Me Again and Dark Blue Kiss) what TayNew are capable of, and I just loved this little moment of subtlety here in Cherry Magic, because we don't actually know what we're going to get later this series.
Because I am a fucking simp for all things Cherry Magic, I also noted the slight changes in how Karan approached Achi on the rooftop later that night, as compared to Kurodachi. Honestly, I am SO ENJOYING these different approaches, and only note these simply by way of how I'm loving Machida's acting versus that of Tay.
Kurosawa on the rooftop was a ball of NERVES, man.
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Whereas it almost seemed like Tay's Karan was silently joyful, with smiles playing at the edges of his lips, to be so close to Achi and having this conversation about the dinner game.
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These are NOT the greatest screenshots, but if I could gif, I would try to capture how the corner's of Tay's mouth in that last screenshot just uplifted slightly. This wasn't a moment of shock and nerves; this was a moment of OMG OMG OMG EEEEEE THIS IS MY TIMEEEEE.
(EDITING TO ADD: I’m such a dunce! I should have known the gif makers were already on this — and the gorgeous deity @liyazaki captured Tay’s mouf perfectly. That giddiness in the last gif!)
And in their acting? I love BOTH APPROACHES so much. Because both approaches are well within the emotional range of the moment that we're experiencing with them.
We're departing from the Japanese dorama next week in content, and I cannot wait to see where we go. GMMTV gave us some holiday gifts in Last Twilight and Cherry Magic airing on Fridays and Saturdays, no?
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bengiyo · 9 months ago
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Cherry Magic TH Ep 9 Stray Thoughts
Last week sucked. The boss tried to break up the boys, arguing that it harms productivity. Karan insisted on proving their work by meeting an unreasonable sales target, and ended up going back to the client that molested him previously. The boss showed up after a second assault had occured only to throw away the contract because of the humiliation. It was gross and stupid. Anyway, Achi revealed his powers, and Min and Jinta had a really cute moment over a Lego set.
I'm glad we're picking up at the reveal. This power always makes me wonder because I don't think in sentences in my head.
Amazing, Karan. He zeroed in on the most important information: Achi has known how sincere his feelings are for a while, so they can progress.
We are moving into the correct apartment this time!!
Goddamn Tay Tawan is beautiful. I'm having fun with Karan using the powers to touch Achi more.
Back to back ads. At least this one is horny.
This bed scene is so cute. I like Karan accepting the reality of this and just running with it.
Achi wearing the pajamas is still a great costuming choice.
New merch available in the GMMTV store!
Poor Rock. He didn't know!
I really love that Achi and Jinta made a promise to celebrate the success of his work. This is so great.
Jinta being inspired by them is a much cooler outcome. I also love Karan picking up on their telepathy, and Jinta reassuring him that he and Achi are just friends.
Newwie is so fucking big like whoa. Look at those arms. Look at those thighs.
Oh this is a great hug. I like that this version of Achi talks to Karan more.
I love Jinta so much. Like Tsuge, there is no shame in this man.
Yes, Min, chase his goofy ass down!
I still don't like the boss.
Oh, poor Achi. A month isn't actually that long, but this is all new for him.
Now, Rock, you gotta communicate with fujos in terms they understand.
Achi, please tell him about the assignment.
Damn, the boss already took that chance from Achi.
I really love the way Karan knowing about the power is leading to better communication between them, and allowing Achi the equity to express his anxieties.
I'm actually excited about the separation this time!
Oh, thank you TayNew for reminding us that you two are very willing to go there with each other. I have needed to see these two kiss forever. Count your fucking days, Cherry Magic Anime.
I'm so relieved that we came back on a good episode. I was worried about this show after last week's debacle, but this is all really fucking good. I love that the reveal of Achi's powers only helped him in his relationship with Karan. There's something so special about a man being thrilled that his gay love thoughts reached the person they were intended for and received the way they were intended. I love that so much of this episode was about Achi taking a step forward in his life. He expressed his desire to grow professionally and is taking that leap with the support of his boyfriend, and he took a step forward romantically by kissing Karan twice. I love that Jinta was inspired to take a step forward with Min, and Min didn't let him run away before completing the confession. We even got further confirmation that Pai is not romantically inclined at all right now. Fantastic episode.
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impromptu-sketches · 2 years ago
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𝔹𝕃 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚 ✦ 𝕎ℝ𝔸ℙ-𝕌ℙ
Happy New Year! And welcome to my 2022 BL Wrap-Up!
Out of all of the BL stories -ongoing and completed- I’ve read this year, I have a winner in ten categories and four ‘best of’ winners!!
Thank you to all of the writers, artists, and creators out there ♡ published or not, you are amazing, we appreciate you, and thank you so much for bringing beauty into this world for others to experience!
Enjoy!
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✧ - FUNNIEST
And the nominees are...
- Semantic Error
- Killer Crush
- It’s Not Like That
- Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!
- Punch Drunk Love
And the winner is...
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KILLER CRUSH
All these were absolutely hilarious, but Killer Crush was just relentless! The chemistry between them, the ridiculous situations they put themselves in, all of their little thoughts and expressions, and the freaking side couple! ٩̋(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑) I enjoy every second of reading this!
✧ - MOST INTRUIGING
And the nominees are...
- The Ghost’s Nocturne
- Wet Sand
- Stranger
- Coyote
- Night Fragments
And the winner is...
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COYOTE
I recently re-read Coyote before reading the new chapters and it had me captivated again from the very beginning ~~~ I mean, LILI, MARLENE!! Are you kidding me?? ♡♡♡♡♡ They are soulmates ♡o(╥﹏╥)o ♥♡ and the gorgeous art!! The sex scenes..... fUck. I could go on forever ... I don’t care how many romeo & juliet stories there are, this one does it best! Zaria (author & artist) is god tier!!
✧ - BEST KISS
And the nominees are...
- 19 Days
- Sasaki and Miyano
- Semantic Error
- 4 Week Lovers
- Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!
And the winner is...
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19 DAYS
Not even able to show a kiss directly on the mouth but the winner nonetheless!! That’s how l-o-n-g we’ve been waiting and how amazing it was ♡♡♡ We have truly been blessed the last few weeks with He Tian and little Mo!! (⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡♡ My heart is about to burst I swear!!
✧ - BEST SEX SCENES
And the nominees are...
- Dear Door (*2021 winner)
- It’s Just a Dream... Right?!
- Liveta
- 4 Week Lovers
- Pearl Boy
And the winner is...
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IT’S JUST A DREAM... RIGHT?!
Oh my god, I was not expecting this manhwa to be what it was!! But they are just so cute!! 。゜(ノ≧∀≦)ノ ゜。  And Jungoh grew on me so much!! Then the dreams kept going... and things got spicier and spicier (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
✧ - FAVORITE FLUFF
And the nominees are...
- Sasaki and Miyano
- Path to You
- My Love Mix-Up!
- Dreaming of You
- Night Fragments
And the winner is...
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PATH TO YOU
I re-read this one recently and I’m so glad I did because it was just as cute and wholesome as I remembered!! I just can’t get over them. Simply adorable. ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)˚๐*˟ ♡
✧ - FAVORITE BOTTOM
And the nominees are...
- Victor | Liveta (*2021 winner)
- Jooha | Pearl Boy
- Na-kyum | Painter of the Night
- Seo-an | The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace
- Yeonwu | Banana Scandal
And the winner is...
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SEO-AN | THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN AND THE GOLD PALACE
Seo-an is so unique ♥ one of the reasons he’s my favorite is because his character feels so real and relatable. A big part of the plot is dealing with his anxiety and panic attacks and despite that vulnerability he is also so kind, patient, and sticks up for himself and others. I really like his character alone and paired with Woo-won ♥ I’m so excited to continue this story in February - I will be reading it as soon as it drops.
✧ - FAVORITE TOP
And the nominees are...
- Yoonseul | The Third Ending
- Dooshik | Pearl Boy
- Dowon | Full Volume
- Taehee | Banana Scandal
- Woo-won | The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace
And the winner is...
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DOWON | FULL VOLUME
Ahhhhhh!! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ Dowon has my whole heart ♡ He’s so freaking sweet to Beom and yeah this BL is horny af but it’s also super adorable!! Honestly, I was not expecting it to be so romantic but Dowon is just so extra and I love him and I love them together ♡♡♡
✧ - FAVORITE COUPLE
And the nominees are...
- Dooshik & Jooha | Pearl Boy (*2021 winner)
- Taeman & Dahyeok |  Killer Crush
- Coyote/Lili & Joshua/Marleen | Coyote
- Sangwoo & Jaeyoung | Semantic Error
- Woo-won & Seo-an | The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace
And the winner is...
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DOOSHIK & JOOHA | PEARL BOY
They’ve won again! Honestly nothing has changed, they are still so awkwardly cute together and adorable!! ♡♡♡  
✧ - FAVORITE SIDE COUPLE
And the nominees are...
- Daeshik & Yosef | Love so Pure 
- Seolho & Hyunshik/the boss |  Killer Crush
- Shizusumi & Hiiragi | Given
- Hirano & Kagiura | Sasaki and Miyano
- Jihwa & No Name | Painter of the Night
And the winner is...
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DAESHIK & YOSEF |  LOVE SO PURE
Oh my god, Yosef being a gentle giant teddy bear and Daeshik being his cute plotting eager self... I did not love the idea of them together at first, but damn did my opinion change!! And idk why but  Daeshik talking, going on and on and Yosef just listening patiently is my favorite thing haha (*´ ˘ `*) 
✧ - FAVORITE BOY
And the nominees are...
- Taehee | Banana Scandal (*2021 winner)
- Giovanni | Hold Me Tight
- Jooha | Pearl Boy
- Jae-hee | 4 Week Lovers
- Dowon | Full Volume
And the winner is...
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TAEHEE | BANANA SCANDAL
It’s him again!!! I can’t get over how much I love Taehee ♡♡ He had me the second that I read ‘The Power Fruit Girls’ (aka The Powerpuff Girls, which is a real show that I watched growing up)!! Anyway, I love Taehee for so many reasons, one being his introverted nature, the fact that he never tries to be someone he’s not, and always sticks up for his man!! I love how much he loves Dojin!! ♡♡
✧ - FAVORITE NEW BL
And the winner is...
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THE PIZZA DELIVERY MAN AND THE GOLD PALACE
Okay, I was not freaking expecting this BL to become one of my ultimate favorites but oh my god!! It’s so good!! Not that much ‘plot’ happens, but I just love these two so much - individually and together. I also love a good cinderella story, and this one is so wholesome and beautiful!! The slow tensions growing between them, getting to know each other first, helping each other... I cannot freaking wait for them to be together (.づ◡﹏◡)づ. Upi (author & artist) has quickly became one of my favorite authors ❤❤❤
✧ - FAVORITE ONGOING BL
And the winner is...
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TWITTERING BIRDS NEVER FLY
This BL has me in a chokehold lol whenever there’s a new chapter I have a physical reaction because I’m so excited to read it. And it will continue to have me in a chokehold until the final chapter!! I love and hate this slow burn so muchhhhhh (,,>﹏<,,) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ oh my god I love it 
✧ - FAVORITE BL THAT ENDED THIS YEAR
And the winner is...
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CHERRY BLOSSOMS AFTER WINTER
Awwwwww the first BL I’ve ever read has come to an end (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ So cute, so wholesome. It will always hold a special little place in my heart.
✧ - BEST BL OF 2022
And the winner is...
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SEMANTIC ERROR
OH MY GOD, Semantic Error is everything!! The best enemies to lovers slow burn out there! The teasing! The tension! Sangwoo being Sangwoo (✿>ꇴ<) had me cracking up so many times - I can’t wait to read more ♡
I love Semantic Error so much I cosplayed as Sangwoo this year at a local convention - my first ever cosplay costume!! And I dressed my partner up in the iconic red jump suit hahaha ♡♡♡
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Thank you all for reading!
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ohforficsakelibrary · 10 months ago
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You Brought Me Poison Flowers
Chapter 8: Beet - If a man and a woman eat of the same beet, they will fall in love.
prev / series masterlist / masterlist / Lennie's shop ad moodboard!
Series Summary: Joel and Ellie settle into life in Jackson, one more easily than the other, until Joel is reminded of what normal feels like. The kind of normal that he perhaps never had. A series of one-shot glimpses into a relationship (no true plot here, people.) Soft!Joel. Two touch-starved babes.
Chapter subtitles taken from Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham. Although herbal preparations are consistent with historic uses, nothing herein is to be construed as medical advice.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Herbalist!OFC (age-appropriate age gap)
Word Count: ~6.2K (It's a hefty one, y'all)
Warnings: Discussion of past character death, descriptions of loneliness. Please read with care.
Rating: Explicit 18+ / oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, multiple orgasms (f), creampie. Minors DNI.
A/N: Lenora breaks a bit but Joel Miller was a contractor and he's good with his hands.
This took me longer than anticipated to write, but it's a bit of a longer one and it's definitely one that moves them into new territory. Thank you all so much as always for your lovely comments and reblogs. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love these two so much and I sincerely hope that you all enjoy!
A soft knock sounds on Joel's door at 7:30pm sharp on Saturday evening. 
Lennie is on his doorstep, blue linen dress and a soft smile, canvas bag slung over her shoulder. 
Joel grins, checks both ways behind her, and yanks her through the door. He has her against the wall and she can feel the smile on his lips as he kisses her.
And Joel can feel the exact moment she melts into his hold.
“You stayin’ the night?” He quips, relieving her of  the bag on her shoulder. 
“No, Mom just said never show up empty handed.
“You wanna stay the night?”
“Feed me and we’ll see.”
“Kitchen’s through here,” he points, “leave your shoes on, you’re fine.”
“Smells, amazing. Ellie home?”
“Nah, she’s actually at a sleepover,” his eyebrows are arched as he sets her bag on the kitchen island, “for a birthday. She has friends.”
“Shame you’ve just got me.”
“Not a shame at all,” he samples the taste of her again before she reaches into her bag. 
“I brought her this though, had a copy in my collection,” she pulls 2001: A Space Odyssey from her bag, “she’s probably read it already, but on the off chance she hasn’t.”
Joel fits in behind her, pressing his chest to her back. “Ohh, that’s a classic. She’s gonna love that. Thank you, Len.”
She pulls an amber dropper bottle from her bag next, “and Tommy stopped by, said you wanted bitters?”
Joel takes the bottle from her fingers, holding it up to the light. “Tommy did some meddling then. He dropped off a batch of maple whiskey this morning.” 
“Well then, it only seems right to make an old fashioned,” and she reaches into her bag for a bottle of gin, “and you can keep that for whatever you’d like.”
“How the fuck did you make bitters?” One hand rubs at her hip as he places the dropper on the counter.
“Gentian root, ginger, lavender, cherry bark, black walnut, you want me to keep going?” 
“No,” Joel’s hips are pressed against her ass, “I want to kiss you.”
"Kiss me then." 
Joel spins her around, hoists her up onto the kitchen island and fits between her legs, fingers skating up her thighs. She fits both hands to his jaw as he presses soft lips to hers.
Slowly, tenderly at first before he slips his tongue into her mouth, drawing forth a moan from the back of her throat.
And it’s nothing short of relief, this flood of affection from a granite man.
Being left to her own devices these past few days had caused slippage. Even with the rush of him still warm through her blood.
He could still change his mind.
Lennie swallows hard when his mouth moves away, fingers still drawing light circles on her thighs with the flats of his nails.
“Anything I can do to help?” She asks, tucking a curl behind his ear.
A need to feel useful.
“You can tell me how you like your steak,” Joel grins up at her. 
“Medium rare?”
“That a question or your answer?”
“Medium rare.” She says again and he steals another kiss before turning back to the stove. 
Joel doesn’t allow her to lift a finger. 
He fixes them drinks and ushers her to the dining table. 
He dishes out a salad topped with sliced beet and goat’s cheese. 
He places a perfectly-cooked medium rare steak in front of her with mashed potato and broccoli accompaniments. 
He keeps her water and whiskey glasses full.
He offers her strawberries and hand-whipped sweet cream for dessert. 
He doesn’t let her help with the dishes.
Instead, Joel again places her on the countertop, beside the sink this time, and Lennie swings her feet and laughs at his jokes and accepts the kisses he offers while dodging soapy hands.
And Joel thinks what a privilege it is to have a smart beautiful thing here purely to keep you company and not because your back needs watchin’.
_____
“You want the tour?” Joel finally asks, crumpling a dish towel between his hands before he hangs it on the oven handle and dries the backs of his hands on his jeans. 
“Sure.”
"You sure you're sure, you didn't sound sure."
"I am."
"Alright. Thought you'd say somethin' smart," he helps her down from the countertop and places her feet back on the floor, "like 'is this a ploy to get me into your bedroom, Miller?'" He pitches his voice up a hair and mimics her northeastern accent.
"Is it?"
"Do you want it to be?"
Lennie doesn't answer.
He refills their whiskey instead and starts with the bottom floor.  
Joel's home is still sparse because he hasn’t quite filled the space yet. The house had sat vacant for years before folks borrowed trinkets to adorn their own spaces and bartering for replacements had been too low on his list of priorities. 
The pictures of someone else’s family have been taken down and relegated to a box somewhere. 
Joel has none of his own. 
Lennie hangs back as he shows her Ellie’s ‘lair’ and ‘the good bathroom’ with the bathtub, her glass of whiskey clutched in both hands, always sticking to the doorway of each room as Joel guides her through. 
She never quite sets her feet over thresholds.
And Joel notices, but he can’t figure out why.
“You have a record player,” Lennie’s eyes light up when she spots it in the corner of the living room upon their return.
“Not sure if it works, haven’t tried it. But there are a few albums left,” Joel sets his glass down on the coffee table and slumps down on the couch, suddenly aware of the dull ache in his back from being on his feet far too long. 
He notices that she wants to check but it’s like she needs permission.
“Go on, take a look,” he urges her and Lennie sits on her heels in front of the media cabinet as she flips through the small collection. 
She hums to herself, “mm, we don’t have this one,” and he notes the use of the word but doesn’t ask, because she’s holding up a Diana Krall album with light in her eyes and asking if she can put it on.  
“Only if you’ll dance with me,” he stands, ignoring the way his back muscles protest because the need to hold her again is too strong. 
“Didn’t take you for a dancing man,” she takes his hand as the soft sound of jazz fills the room. 
He fits both hands around the small of her back as she encircles his neck.
He can feel the faintest tremor thrumming through her muscles.
And the way she's too conscious of her breathing.
“Hey, Len,” and she feels it rumble through his chest where she’s held tight there, “can I ask you somethin’?”
She hums.
“What’s up? You’re like a— a vampire.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Joel.”
“It’s okay if you are. Just. Warn a man.”
Lennie doesn't laugh.
“I’m sorry.”
“And stop apologizing.” She feels him smile into her hairline. “Len, what’s going on?”
“I’ll try. You made the most beautiful dinner, and damn good old fashioneds, and you have a beautiful house. It’s been such a lovely evening.”
“You leavin’?” Joel pulls back and stares down into her eyes because those are leavin’ words.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Not even a little bit, baby,” he pulls her in close again, swaying her to the music, his tone suggesting what she’s just said is the most ridiculous thing in the world because it is. 
But she sniffs hard against his collar and he leans back again to get a look at her face.
Lennie’s eyes are swimming. 
The gold is lost. 
“Oh, Lenora. No, no, no, none of that. I ain’t kickin’ you out.”
He takes her face in his hands with all of the tenderness he’s capable of. 
Like clutching at a frantic sparrow with a broken wing.
And Joel briefly wonders if the kindest thing he can do is snap its neck.
He can’t. Its claws have already dug into his heart.
“You don’t have to leave, Len. Please don’t leave. Not yet.”
And gears gnash against each other in Joel’s brain because what he wants to say might lead to a flood.
Flood now and rebuild later. 
“I think we gotta clear the air on something though.”
She tenses in his hold even against the soothing of his hand down her spine.
“Yeah?”
“You gotta tell me what’s going on, baby,” he still soothes, keeping her head tucked under his chin.
“You closed up again tonight. M' glasses are gone.”
After a moment, “why the tears when I ask you to stay? And why don’t you ever ask for what you want, Len?”
She breaks from him to stare up into big brown eyes that are soft despite the firmness in his tone.
And the last thing Lenora wants to do is finish this evening by dropping her baggage off at his doorstep. But Joel can read in her expression that she’s about to deflect and his voice sharpens.
“Your honest answer, Len. We can’t do this if we ain’t honest. I may be out of practice, but I know that much.”
“Because I’m afraid to want things, Joel.”
Lenora answers quick because Lenora knows where all of her shit is. 
She just doesn’t know what to do about it.
“Why.” He presses again. Firmly, but far from devoid of compassion.
“Because I’m terrified they won’t want me back.”
“I think it’s pretty clear that I do, though.”
“That’s exactly it. You terrify me.” She’s out of his hold now and he thinks better of pulling her in again. “All of this is terrifying.”
“But why, Lenora.”
“Have you ever felt needed, but not wanted, Joel?” She snaps back.
And Lennie watches the consideration of it ping around his brain.
Sarah, his precious baby girl who needed him for food and shelter and comfort, wanted him for the same from the moment she could parse the two. She loved her daddy. Screamed her head off the entire first week of kindergarten because she wanted her daddy.
Sarah’s mom didn’t need or want him. She made that clear.
Tess didn’t need him. A guard dog has his uses but she could have found anyone. Tess wanted him. Even after they blew up that night. When he screamed “I can’t love you” so loudly that their mismatched glasses shook in their cabinets. Tess still held him at night. Because Tess wanted him.
And Ellie, now safe in the want from the need side of things, still seeks just him out for comfort. She’s fed all day by the folks down at Mess and Mr. Hayes at the farm, and Jess who makes those maple candies. She is safe, her Uncle Tommy sees to that. But she still curls up at his side in lamp light on chilly nights. She chooses him.
“I can’t say that I have.”
“Yeah. It’s all I’ve felt these last few years,” She’s taken a seat on the edge of the couch cushion like she’s afraid to settle in, gaze locked on the rug. Biting back tears. “Needed but not wanted. And not, feeling unwanted, just, not experiencing it—proactively. In the affirmative.”
“People here need me, but I’m a fixture.” Her voice is monotone as she continues. “Permanently cemented to the floor in my shop. They come and go, they take and they give you something material in exchange.”
“They look at me and see through me, Joel.” She gestures at her heart with her hands.
“They seek me out because they need me. But slot someone else with my knowledge behind that bar and really, there’s no difference. Occasionally someone shares a mug of tea or a glass of gin and I love that, I really do.”
She swipes the back of her hand quickly over her cheek.
“But the one person who ever wanted me died in my arms and he took it with him.”
“And I felt so empty, Joel.” Her fragile whisper cracks. “Everything just became so cold.” 
“Tommy told me what happened,” he whispers, “to Andy.”
Lennie looks up at him through tears.
“I didn’t have anyone, Joel. For years. And I forgot what that felt like.”
And in this moment, Joel realizes that he’s never actually been alone either.
He had Sarah.
He had Tommy. 
He had Tess.
He had Ellie.
You keep going for family.
She had no one.
And she kept going anyway.
He can’t say he would have been that strong. 
He wasn’t. That first night without his daughter. 
Without his heart.
“I forgot what it felt like to have someone spend hours talking to you because they want to. To have someone just to sit with in front of a fire. To share a sunset with. To make…fucking dinner with so you don’t have to do it all on your own.” She gestures weakly towards the kitchen.
“To be held and kissed and touched, Joel.” 
Her voice is so small now, rasped through the pain that crushes her from the inside out and Joel wants desperately to hold her again but he settles for clenching his fist and shoving his fingers in his pockets. 
He wants her to let it out.
"And I'm sorry that it breaks me apart like this," she swipes at her cheeks again, angrier this time. "It feels like something that shouldn't even matter, like I should be able to do this on my own."
“Andy left and touch went out of my life. Companionship. This feeling of being wanted. And I convinced myself I didn’t want it anymore. Didn’t need it.”
“And then you came out of fucking nowhere.”
Lenora holds a hand out and stares into her palm, “and to have it placed in front of you like food after famine.”
“Knowing that at any moment you could do something to have it snatched away.”
Her fist closes now. 
“And I feel like I have no right to exist in someone else’s space and I think maybe if I just don’t take up room. Maybe if I’m not too loud, or too headstrong, maybe if I don’t ask, it’ll stick around for just a little while longer. I’ll make that compromise.”
“Because it’s the only thing I want. To have someone want me.”
“And I am terrified of fucking it up, Joel,” her voice is low as she finishes, finally angling her eyes back up at him.
Cheeks wet with tears that flow too fast for her to catch.
And Joel steps around the coffee table to kneel in front of her, noticing how she stiffens with the action of it, not unlike she did when Ellie hugged her in the stables.
How she flinches when someone gets too close. 
Where she melted before, she freezes up again for fear of having said too much.
Of having been too much.
Felt too much.
Taken up too much space here in his home.
Her nerves are still terrified of affection, regardless of how badly he longs to give it.
How badly she needs to receive it.
And Joel pushes the boundary a fraction, brushing a curl that clings to his finger off of her cheek.
Running calloused knuckles as softly as he can down the salty streaks that mar her skin.
“Because it’s perfect?” He asks barely above a whisper, mouch catching on the syllables.
“Because it’s perfect, Joel,” she breathes, relaxing upon her skin’s recognition of his.
His heart jumps.
“Because it’s a taste of everything I’ve always wanted and the last time I had that, my entire world shattered and I’m afraid, Joel.”
“But for right now?” The pads of his fingers trace one tendon of her neck, as his eyes meet hers again, “it’s perfect?”
“Yeah,” she breathes, warm against his skin.
“Then let it be perfect, Lenora.”
And Joel closes the gap that opened between them with his lips. Feather-soft brushes at first before they feel the need to convince her more ardently.
He kisses her until she kisses back.
Until she winds her fingers in his hair and opens to let his tongue slip inside.
Until she lets herself feel his face in her hands and the taste of him in her mouth.
Joel only stops when she breaks for breath, chin reddened from the scrape of his beard.
“For as long as it is, Lenora” he whispers against her lips, “let it be perfect.”
And she clutches his massive face in her palms, searching his eyes.
Receiving nothing but sincerity in return.
She presses her forehead against his, “yeah.”
“Promise me, Lenora.”
“I promise.”
“You swear that’s the truth? The whole truth and nothing bu…”
“Stooop, Joel,” she chides weakly at his poor man's joke, touching the tip of her nose to his before kissing him again.
He smiles and hums from deep in his chest.
“Len?” He whispers against her lips.
“Yeah,” she sniffs, attempting to stuff it all back inside.
“What do you want?" Another kiss pressed to her mouth, "right in this moment, what do you want?”
“No thinking,” he adds, head spinning from having her this close. “What do you want?”
“I want you to touch me.”
“Where?�� Joel breathes against her mouth.
“Everywhere.”
Joel stands, uncaring of how his knees click with the motion, and holds out a hand.
Her small palm is skittish in his hold.
Joel laces his fingers with hers.
“It’s warmer upstairs.”
"Is this a ploy to get me into your bedroom, Miller?" Lennie sniffles and Joel looks her dead in the eyes.
"Yes. Yes it is."
_____
Joel guides her to sit on the edge of the bed, kneeling before her again to slip her sandals from her feet, encircling her ankles gently with each hand before trailing his fingers up the backs of her calves. 
She shivers but not from the temperature.
Joel pulls off his socks before shedding his flannel and t-shirt, tossing both onto a chair in the corner.
He makes himself more vulnerable than she feels.
Her eyes track him around the room before he settles beside her on the edge of the bed, cupping her cheek and turning her face in towards him.
“Are you cold?” He presses a kiss to her lips.
“No.” Heat from the kitchen has risen, warming the whole upper floor.
“Are you sure? I can start a fire.” He nods behind him at the fireplace in his bedroom.
“I’m okay,” she reaches to run a hand down his forearm.
“Whatever you need. You tell me, okay?”
“Yeah.”
His mouth is a quick distraction before his tongue slips against hers. 
Joel's palm fits to her cheek, thumb tracing one cheekbone.
Fingers trail down the side of her neck and skate gently over the front of her throat before his hand flattens over her breastbone, tucking under the collar of her dress. 
His lips break from hers to kiss her neck and suck on her ear as he palms one shoulder.
Lennie reaches down to undo the tie of her dress before Joel asks if he can instead.
Chill bumps form on her skin when he unwraps linen, broad palm soothing warm over her stomach when it’s finally bare.
He shifts with her to help slip it from her form, mouth never far from hers before he lands the dress on the chair over his own clothes. Lennie's hands fly to his hair slipping soft strands between her fingers as she finally turns her body in towards him.
The warmth that radiates from his skin sets her head spinning.
He presses kisses to her collarbone before returning to her mouth. 
“Lie back, Len.” He whispers there.
Joel follows, fitting one knee between her legs. A palm on either side of her head, careful of her long hair.
“This okay?”
“Yeah,” she hums with arms around his neck when he tips his head to run his nose over the lines of ink on her left arm, licking at the sensitive ditch of her elbow before he nips at her bicep. 
The press of his bare chest against her skin when he mouths at one breast through her bra makes Lennie moan and arch up against the solid weight of him.
He shifts lower to trail his nose over her ribs. Inhaling the cedar scent of her soap and pressing kisses to every inch of skin, pulling soft gasps from her throat.
He notes what makes her breath catch. What makes her fingers tighten in his hair and nails sink into his shoulders.
Joel worships down to her hipbones before Lennie grows too impatient to allow him to continue. 
“Joel,” she pants and he angles big brown eyes up at her, “I need you.”
He wraps one hand around the meat of her thigh, shifting on the bed to settle properly between her legs, rubbing at her hips.
He mouths at her stomach before hooking fingers in the waistband of her underwear.
“May I?”
“God, please yes,” she pants.
Joel slips fabric down her legs and off of her toes, hanging her panties off the footboard before his lips trail up her inner thighs.
Lennie trembles.
"This okay?" Joel runs his palms over the creases of her thighs as she nods, thumbs brushing at soft fluff before spreading her open with a deep, needy groan.
One thumb gently starts rubbing circles over her clit and Lennie gasps.
“Mmm,” he growls as he lowers his face and breathes the scent of her deep, exhaling with a moan before his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip.
She’s already slick with anticipation.
Joel tentatively trails the flat of his tongue over her slit and Lennie moans and writhes in his hold. He continues, thumbs holding her open, tongue learning what makes her cant her hips towards his face. 
What makes her moan his name.
His tongue dips inside of her and she keens and fists the sheets, tipping her head to the side as he curls the tip of it before one hand slings a leg over his shoulder.
Joel’s lips latch to her clit and she rolls her hips but one palm holds her firm, splayed against her stomach as two fingers tease before slipping into her heat, the slide made easy by her arousal. Joel quirks them, feeling for that spot where the silk of her gives way to texture before he beckons, coaxing a soft cry from her throat.
He presses his hips into the mattress in an effort to give his aching cock some manner of relief.
“Joel…oh fuu—” she whimpers as the tip of his tongue flicks against that sensitive bundle of nerves before he soothes with the flat of it and repeats. One of Lennie's hands tangles in soft ashen brown curls, raking, caressing, tugging when his fingers become more insistent. 
“Taste so fuckin’ good,” he murmurs against her, rubbing the high bridge of his nose where his tongue just left, fingers still building in pace.
Lennie reaches up with her other hand to clamp it over her own mouth when his tongue starts twirling soft circles around her clit before he sucks hard.
Her hips buck against him and his eyes flick up towards her face.
Cameras are a thing Joel misses.
Lennie’s head is thrown back, resting on a halo of black curls splayed against his pillows, palm doing a poor job of stifling the moans that come from her chest now. 
A chest that heaves for breath.
Breathlessness that he’s causing.
And so he stares for a moment, pressing the image into his mind like a wet flower between the pages of a book. 
One that succumbs to the weight but leaves an imprint of its own against the text.
“There’s no one here, baby,” he whispers, reaching his free hand up to soothe over her sternum, “it’s just me.” He laps at her again, “you can be as loud as you want.”
The hand over her mouth slips down to run across his, holding him holding her as her ribs heave.
“Joel?” She gasps in warning.
“Go on, beautiful,” he murmurs against her heat. “Come for me.”
And she falls apart between his fingers and his tongue with his name lodged in her lungs on an inhale.
She only breathes again when her muscles give up their grip. Joel promptly stuffs his fingers into his mouth, cleaning them with an audible pop.
Stuttering breath catches in her throat before she swallows hard. Joel makes his way up her body again until she tastes the tang of her release on his lips.
“I’m a bit out of practice, but I hope…” he starts.
“Jesus, Joel.” She laughs and rakes her fingers through his hair. “You were…that was.” A breathless whisper. “Perfect. That was perfect.”
He hums and nuzzles her jaw as she basks in the heat of him. 
Basks in his attention as plush lips suck at hers.
And as his tongue slips inside he feels it.
Feels her melting again.
“Joel,” her hand clutches the hair at the nape of his neck before he tips his face to look into her eyes.
“Hmm.”
“I need you inside me,” she whispers.
“Whatever the lady wants,” he mouths at the curve of one breast through the fabric of her bra. “the lady gets.”
She sits up as he leaves the bed for a moment to undress, propping herself up with hands behind her back, knees knocked together.
Watching as generous fingers deftly unlatch his belt. As he steps out of his jeans and hangs them over the arm of the chair, careful not to leave them lying on her dress where the weight of denim would cause linen to wrinkle.
She watches as he bends to slip off his boxer briefs, noting the hole in the hip just below the elastic band from where his thumbs have worn threads away. 
Lennie watches the breadth of his shoulders and the curve of his bum and the strength of his form and the smile on his face when he turns to her again.
She tucks her chin against her shoulder, staring up at him through big, bright eyes before her gaze slips lower to where his cock stands thick and proud against the soft swell of his stomach.
This man. 
This broad, rugged, brutal, yet tender-hearted thing.
Wants her.
“Hey,” the corner of his lips quirk as he settles back onto the bed to sit beside her.
“Hey,” she echoes, tipping her face towards him. His fingers find her jaw and his mouth finds hers again. He feels her smile and it makes his lips spread into a grin, teeth accidentally clacking against hers.
“Sorry, baby.”
She just wraps a hand around the base of his strong neck and pulls him down with her against the pillows.
Joel’s palm splays across her stomach, rubbing warm circles into her skin as his tongue slips against hers, cock pressed against her thigh.
“Skin ‘s so soft, Len.” Joel presses his lips to her collarbone, shifting to kiss down her sternum.
“Mm, you’ve said that before,” she runs a hand through his hair before soothing across the span of his shoulders, briefly fascinated by the size of him.
At how much space he takes up.
“‘Cause it’s true,” he drags his nose against where the underwire of her bra bites into her flesh, “I like it. I like you, Len.”
Joel rubs his bearded cheek down her stomach and she squirms.
“Jesus, Joel that tickles—”
He hums a laugh that turns to a low growl, big brown eyes angled up towards her for permission.
She parts her legs and he settles between them, palms dipping into the curves of her waist and smoothing low over her stomach.
Joel meets her eyes as he rocks his hips, tentatively sending his cock slipping through the slick at her core.
She gasps and reaches for his wrists as he continues coating his length to ease the slide.
Massive palms hitch at the creases of her thighs, one thumb guiding his cock to notch at her entrance.
Brown eyes lock and Joel slowly presses inside of her.
Watching as her lids flutter shut while his mouth falls open. Tongue tracing the inside of his bottom teeth.
He pauses until her grip on his wrists relaxes, starting up a slow rock of his hips as her teeth catch her lip.
He takes his time with her.
Time to adjust.
Time for her to sink into the feel of him. Into how he presses and stretches and pulls and grips.
Time to build. In pace, in pressure, in urgency until finally he lets the reins out.
The way Joel fucks is devastating.
Hard, driving strokes that move her to brace one palm up against his headboard. 
The roll in surprisingly loose hips that causes his cock to catch on her g-spot with every stroke before pressing farther against the deepest parts of her.
Palms that knead the flesh of her hips. Gripping to bruising.
A pace that builds in speed before slowing again when he presses himself deeper, grinding his pubic bone against her clit
Lennie twists in his hold, hands gripping at down and cotton as she sinks her teeth into a pillow that smells of woodfire and Joel and her ponderosa soap.
"Joel," she moans, "wait, I want—"
Immediately he stills, sucking in breath through his teeth.
"Y' okay?" He murmurs, watching her chest heave.
"Yeah," she rakes curls out of her face, "'m gonna boss you around for a minute though."
Joel bites his bottom lip and gently bucks his hips against hers. "Good."
"Move for a second?"
Joel pulls out and they both whimper at the loss as he sits back on his heels.
Lennie turns to lay flat on her stomach before casting an expectant look back over her shoulder.
Joel let's out a soft "oh fuck" and she arches her back slightly, accentuating an ass that Joel just has to touch.
She hums as he palms her flesh before fitting his thumbs into the dimples at the base of her spine.
"C'mon, Joel," she moans, tucking her nose back into his pillow, "don't keep a girl waiting."
"Yes, ma'am," and he shifts to straddle her form before sheathing his cock inside of her again, moving slowly, testing the angle. His fingers dig into her hips as he alternates between hard thrusts and a slow rock that grinds the head of his cock against the mouth of her womb.
And Lennie can't keep quiet now even if she tried.
He smirks when one hand again reaches to steady herself against the headboard and takes it as license to hook a hand over her shoulder to pull her against him when his hips slam forward.
"Oh ff—" She moans from her chest.
“Still with me, Len?” he growls over the staccato of skin on skin.
"You're too far away," she pants and Joel folds to brace his palms against the mattress and press his chest against her back.
The soft swell of his stomach fits perfectly to the curve of her spine.
He envelops her in his breadth and his weight and his heat and finally the wet of his mouth where he sucks at the delicate skin just behind her ear.
"Better, baby?"
“God yes,” she moans, “don’t stop, Joel.” Lennie’s head falls back against his shoulder and he grins.
“There she is.”
And she comes white hot with his name on her lips and his nose buried in her hair.
Joel presses deep for as long as he can before he feels himself hurtle towards the inevitable brink.
The moment he moves to pull out, Lennie reaches to catch a scruffy cheek that's burning with heat.
"Joel, stay," she moans, turning her face towards his.
"'Y— fuck — y' sure—" he grits out, panting frantically against her cheek.
"Want you inside," she gasps against his lips and it sends his hips slamming against hers as he comes with a shout, cock throbbing as he spills himself deep, weight briefly collapsing against her.
"Lenora," he whispers when his senses return.
She hums, boneless underneath him, basking in the way one palm trails down her ribs as he shifts to pull out and settle to one side of her.
Fingers skipping over the damp skin of her back before engulfing the base of her skull.
"Lenora, look at me."
She does, hazy and molten, eyes glittering with low lamp light.
"Can you stay the night?"
And her face splits with laughter before he pulls her in against his chest.
"Yeah, Joel," she nuzzles his collarbone, "I'd like that."
_____
“God she’s such a fucking bitch!” Ellie screams when she bursts through the front door just after 8 o'clock the next morning.
Lennie immediately stiffens, looking to Joel for all the world like the panicked deer that’s jumped out in front of a car. He holds up a hand in her direction and Lennie has no idea what the fuck that’s supposed to mean because she’s sitting at Joel’s kitchen table in nothing but his brown flannel shirt and her come-damp panties and by all accounts she’s not supposed to be here.
“Hey, don’t slam the door,” he calls in Ellie’s direction, her heavy footsteps getting louder as she makes her way towards the kitchen.
“She tore up my fucking book, Joel!” She’s rounded the corner now, “she tore up Will Liv—heeeyyy, Lennie.”
Fucking caught now.
“Hey, Ellie,” she tugs Joel's shirt further down over her bare thighs.
Ellie’s eyebrows are in her hairline, eyes flitting between the pair of them before she speaks after what feels like an hour.
“Good job, old man. You bagged the prettiest girl in town,” Ellie slaps Joel on the back before moving to grab a plate from the dish rack.
“Ellie…”
“Oh shit,” something connects for her as she takes a seat, “that’s where you were the other night. When you came slinking in at like four in the morning.” She locks eyes with Lennie, “your house.”
And Joel’s been struck dumb because “Ellie” with varying degrees of annoyance seems to be all he can bring himself to say as she dishes out bacon and eggs.
“Honestly, though, it’s about time he got laid.” This to Lennie, who’s wide-eyed, red in the face, and certain that she wants to die.
“And there are worse people I could be forced to sit across the breakfast table from,” she shovels a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth. “You know Martha has a crush on him right?" She throws a thumb in Joel's direction. "The school teacher? The ditzy one.”
“Okay, Ellie, room, now.” Joel grinds out.
“What, she does! Everyone in town knows that.”
“Ellie, wha…who is Martha? What are you talkin’ about?”
“Actually, everyone in town does know that,” Lennie murmurs.
“See?" Ellie gestures towards Lennie. "Thank you.”
“Hey, Joel?” Tommy calls as the front door slams behind him. “Jimmy wanted to see if we could help with the barn today and I told him—heeeyyy, Lennie.”
“I suppose this is the first and last time you’ll ever spend the night,” Joel looks over to where Lennie’s clutching the sleeves of his flannel in her hands and covering the bottom half of her face.
“It’s the first and last time I don’t leave before sunrise.”
“Alright, look,” Tommy reaches over Joel’s shoulder for two strips of bacon, “I’ll get outta here, you swing by whenever and we’ll discuss the barn, Ellie, you’re with me kid. Len?” He grins. “You enjoy your morning.”
“I’m not finished breakfast,” Ellie protests.
“Bring the plate. I don’t care. It’s across the way. I got a kitchen table too, c’mon, hustle.”
And to their surprise she grabs her plate and heads for the door. Tommy follows, throwing a wink over his shoulder before they hear the front door swing shut.
Keys jingle and the lock latches.
Lennie’s eyes are wide when she finds Joel’s stare again.
And to her surprise, he bursts out laughing.
The way it shakes his shoulders and rounds out his cheeks is contagious and she can’t help but follow suit. 
When the mirth calms he reaches out for Lennie and encourages her onto his lap. 
“‘M so sorry about that, Len.”
“It’s—" she rubs at his heart over the fabric of his t-shirt, "it’s okay.”
She means it too.
“You know," she wraps an arm around his neck, "I’m actually just fucking you to get back at Martha,” she teases, sucking languidly on Joel’s bottom lip.
And it drags another laugh from his chest.
“Is that so?” Joel nuzzles her neck before kissing a path down her skin. “Sounds like you’re puttin’ a target on your back being here.”
“Make it worth my while then, Miller.”
And he does.
He eats her out again on the kitchen table, right there between the bacon and eggs. Has her coming on his tongue with one of her hands tangled in his hair and the other clamped over her mouth lest anyone hear. 
He’s tempted to rip it away.
Let this Martha know exactly who Joel Miller is fucking.
The prettiest girl in town.
At least the door's locked.
And Lennie's safe here.
She's wanted. Right here.
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