#fuck me up this is 3 pages in a google docs

[boyslit]

this is going to sound like a completely insane thing to ask but like.

if i get injured at work through very little fault of my own (lifting with my legs, teamlifting when my other coworker is available, using carts and pallet jacks when i'm able) and break the health and safety director's almost 12 months of no injuries streak, she's not allowed to take that out on me and other people, right?

like that's insane behavior. like that's victim blaming? like she shouldn't have been allowed to make my life a living hell because i tarnished her otherwise spotless record?

like i know what the correct answer is too but i still go around and around it in my head because. idk. i know it sounds ridiculous but AITA

[spencerreidenjoyer]

like the back of my hand | spencer reid x reader

wc: 1.8k, rating: explicit/18+

tags/warnings: needy!spencer, boyband reid loml, porn without plot, established relationship, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, mindless pwp tbvh....

a/n: had this one sitting in my google docs for a while so I finally decided to clean it up and post it. was worried about there not being any plot/story to this but my lovely friend meggie encouraged me to just send it. ily <3

You mean this with so much love, but Spencer Reid is needy.

To be fair to him, he is a twenty-eight year old who recently lost his virginity to you, but how eager he is to initiate sex is staggering. 

You’re lying in bed together at the end of a long day, both you and Spencer enjoying the quiet time to wind down. He’s finally home after a gruelling week away from you, all the way in Los Angeles to catch another serial killer. The nice thing about being with Spencer and getting to know him so intimately so quickly is that you feel so in tune with each other – both of you comfortable and content cuddling in bed and soaking in each other’s presence.

You’re sitting up against the headboard of the bed on your phone, while Spencer lays his head in your lap. You usually don’t pick up on things like this, but Spencer’s flipping through the pages of his book much slower than usual – which is still much faster than the pace at which you read, but it still has you concerned.

Your fingers run through his hair, fluffy and messy from having air-dried. “You okay, baby?”

“Hmm?” Spencer hums, sounding rather distracted.

“Something on your mind? You’re reading much slower than you usually do.”

Spencer looks up at you, blinking. His eyes are wide and puppylike, and you want to kiss him. Yet, his answer skillfully avoids your question. “I thought I was the one who usually keeps track of that sort of thing.”

“Well, yeah, but I couldn’t help but notice it. What’s up?”

Spencer sits up, looking away from you for just a moment as he considers what he should say. Then, “I wanna have sex.”

Your eyes grow wide, amused with his bluntness. Spencer usually is a little more self-conscious, a little more socially awkward, but all that seems to go away when he’s asking you to fuck. His one-track mind is fixated on you, especially when he wants you. You’re amused – he’s pushing thirty but he sounds like a monkey-brained college student when it comes to sex.

“Well, romance me first, then,” You say, giving in all too easily, because you often can’t say no to Spencer. Spencer smiles, his stupidly large hand cupping your face, and he leans in to kiss you. It’s sweet, romantic even in the mundanity of your current situation, and you hum as Spencer kisses you deeply. 

Spencer’s other hand trails around your waist, sliding down to grab your ass. You squeal against his lips. He hums, satisfied, pulling you close, grabbing whatever he can get his hands on. You laugh, “Needy.”

“Have you been romanced enough yet?” Spencer smirks, eager for you and your approval. He kisses your jawline, down your neck, like he can’t pull himself away from you.

You shrug. “I think you need to touch me more.”

Spencer’s brows raise curiously. “Now that I can do.”

Spencer cups your breast through your shirt, touching you all over with a reverence, an adoration, a desire that has your cheeks feeling warm. He leans in to press his lips to your neck, practically ravenous as he kisses down the column of your neck.

You’re turned on already, Spencer’s eagerness making you hot under the collar. You feel his hands roam over your body, making you feel special, wanted, desired. You don’t necessarily feel sexy in your oversized t-shirt and sweats, but the way Spencer kisses you makes you feel like you are – or at least, you are to him. 

“Spencer,” you gasp against his lips, as you feel his hands slide underneath your shirt, his calloused hands on your skin, the slight roughness of his fingers making your hair stand on end as he touches you. Spencer flicks his thumbs over your nipples, gropes you just a little. It makes you moan.

Then, Spencer’s hands slide down to your waistband, and he looks up at you for your approval. You nod, shuddering when the cool pads of his fingers press against the warmth of your skin, dipping past your sweatpants and underwear. You sigh, as Spencer easily pushes them off. You get comfortable with the pillows behind you, Spencer easily making his way between your legs. 

He kisses your thighs reverently, the slight stubble on his chin and his lips on your sensitive skin feeling ticklish. Still, Spencer’s hands are firm on your legs, firm in holding them apart. You shudder as you feel Spencer’s breath on your skin. He’s so gentle with you it makes you feel lightheaded. 

“Spencer,” you moan, when he wraps his lips around your sensitive clit. You’re so wet already, heightened by the feeling of Spencer’s mouth on you. You watch his jaw flex as he laps at you, mouth moving as he eats you out sweetly. It’s almost ritualistic, the way his eyes flutter shut, the hypnotised trance he enters as he goes down on you. 

You wouldn’t say you had a high sex drive, at least not until you met Spencer. Spencer didn’t seem like the kind of guy either, his nerdy, slightly awkward exterior making you very quick to assume that he would be a little awkward with sex. And sure, he was, when you first slept together, but now that he’s absolutely comfortable with you, he’s unashamed in wanting sex – wanting you. And his brazenness turns you on, which leads to the two of you fucking a lot.

You dig your nails into his scalp as Spencer flicks his tongue over your sensitive, hard clit, his motions relentless, eager, wanting to push you over the edge. You cry out with pleasure, watching the way he eats you out with a sense of pride, proud that he’s just so into it. 

You feel his hot breath on your cunt, hear his quiet moans as he pleasures you. You watch as he grinds against the mattress, just slightly, using the friction to get himself off too. 

“Darling– Baby, can- Can I fuck you?” Spencer’s voice is muffled against your cunt. He sounds desperate, needy, distracted like he can’t take his mind off of it. 

You whine, pushing your thighs to squeeze his face just slightly, like you can’t bear to let him go. You feel Spencer’s tongue retreat, missing the warmth on your pussy, and then he’s coming back up for air. His face is wet with your slick, and his big, wide eyes are staring up at you. “Please?”

You pout slightly. You can’t deny him, not when he looks like that. 

You tsk, rolling your eyes playfully. “Fine. You better fuck me as good as you eat me out.”

“I will! I will,” Spencer answers enthusiastically, eager as he fumbles with his pants. When his cock bobs up against his stomach, you giggle, amused with how eager he is for this– for you.

“Oh, you want me so bad,” you tease, unable to stop the grin on your face. 

Spencer smiles, sheepish. “I do. So badly, baby.” He cages you in, his tall frame making you feel so small, and his curly hair is messy and all over the place when he leans forward to press his lips to yours.

You whimper when he kisses you hard, eager and needy, and all you taste on his lips is you. Still, the way he makes out with you is dizzying, so intensely hot, and you don’t even care that you taste yourself as he practically eats your face. 

“Spence– Baby–” You barely get the words out between Spencer’s mouth on yours, but you wrap your legs around his waist and try and pull him closer to you, hoping that his horned-up brain will get the message. The motion bumps his cock against your soaking-wet cunt, and the both of you shudder at the sensation. 

With his lips kissing down your jaw, your neck, Spencer rocks his hips against you, sliding his cock along your wet folds, your hole leaking slick to make everything even more messy. His tip bumps against your swollen clit over and over, as he ruts against you like a horny teenager instead of actually fucking you. The friction is delicious, so good, but not what you or him actually need right now.

You groan. “Sweetheart, come on–”

“Mm?” Spencer hums, distracted. He’s never had this short of an attention span, but you suppose pussy tends to slash his genius. 

“Fuck me,” You bite, no malice in your voice. “Properly.”

“Okay, yeah, okay,” Spencer mumbles, only pulling away from you to look down at where your bodies are pressed together. He grips his cock before pressing himself against your entrance, his hands shaking with his eagerness to touch you. Spencer slides in with relative ease, considering how wet you are, and you whimper as the thick head of his cock pushes inside of you. 

Spencer kisses your cheek sweetly as he presses inside of you, the slow drag of his cock against your walls so perfect. He fills you up perfectly, feeling like he’s made for you.  

He fucks you hard and fast and messy, the slick sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you downright obscene. His brows are furrowed and his eyes are squeezed shut as he puts all his energy into pounding into you, desperate to make both of you feel good. When Spencer gets like this, you know he’ll stop at nothing to get there.

Every one of Spencer’s thrusts hits deep inside of you, making you feel so damn full. Your arms come around to cling onto him, shaking with the force of his thrusts. “Spence–! Baby, oh, fuck!” 

He grunts, a needy little noise, panting in your ear. “You’re so tight. Oh, you– You feel so good, please–”

You sob as he fucks into you hard, unrelenting, so eager to make you feel good while he chases his own pleasure. His brows are furrowed in concentration, sweat beading at his temple, and his gorgeous hair is in his eyes, bouncing with each hard thrust. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Spencer rambles, in between fucking you and kissing you literally everywhere, like he can’t get his lips off of you. “You’re so perfect. I love you.”

“You only say that when you’re inside of me,” you laugh breathily, clearly joking. 

Spencer grumbles, a low sound in the back of his throat. His mouth stays on your neck, and you feel his teeth graze against your skin. You feel him suck a spot into the column of your neck. “Don’t say that. I always tell you that I love you.”

“You do,” you giggle, holding him close, running your hand through his hair. “You always tell me how pretty I am too, don’t you?”

“You’re breathtaking,” Spencer says, sounding a little winded, since the only form of cardio he gets is sex with you. “Literally.”

“Okay, I love you so much, but I don’t know if your puns make for great pillow talk, honey,” you smile, kissing his cheek. “Now make me cum, love.”

Spencer grins, absolutely smitten by you. “Yes, ma’am.”

[didyougaming]

Hi, gamers. I know the results of the Sandwich Poll have been gnawing at you. So many people wondering whether they answered correctly, which as a reminder is a very important factor in determining which afterlife you end up in when you die. Please understand that I needed a lot of time to internally process these poll results and also that I've been kinda busy/tired. But the people need to know, so here we go.

In total, we received 372 responses. I also spent a lot of my weekend annoying anyone who would listen to me in person about these questions, but I didn't write those answers down.

Question 1 was fairly non-controversial, as it should be. It is worth noting that 3.2% of respondents chose to write-in an answer, and most of these write-in answers were what scientists would call "bad" and "not really useful." So you can assume a 3.2% margin of error on everything in this survey. That's how statistics works.

Question 2 is where we see a real divide. Most respondents consider a sandwich cut into two separate but equal pieces to be one sandwich. This is a real shame, because it's the wrong answer. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Question 3 considers whether one piece of bread cut in half and used for sandwich-making results in a sandwich, and surprisingly the majority of respondents do consider this to be one sandwich. This is really interesting, because despite ending up with functionally and aesthetically the same result as one of the pieces of the sandwich from question 2, a significant number of respondents believe the results to be inherently different. I wish there was a way to better track how much overlap there was for those two seemingly contradictory answers, but the big Sheets page Google Docs is daunting and I don't feel like figuring out how to parse that data, so we just need to accept that we'll never have that exact number. That's how statistics works.

Question 4 mostly just cements the findings of the previous two questions. I do want to point out the one person who answered "who the fuck does this". Sandwich shops do this. Go to a sandwich shop for once in your life and really watch them do their work. Open your eyes.

Question 5 did not get me a lot of useful data, as it turns out having a question that only allowed for write-in answers was a bad idea. However, there are more or less two camps for people who really took these questions seriously and gave it their all. The first school of thought suggests that intent is the most important factor, and if you deem what you've made to be a sandwich, it's a sandwich. While I appreciate the critical thinking on display here, I believe in the other school of thought, which is that when you put ingredients between two breads that's a sandwich, baby. There is a sub-school of thought here that requires those two pieces to be whole pieces, but that's wrong.

One question that I should have included in the survey I think proves my point. If you order a sandwich platter from a deli and they use a single really long piece of bread (think like a several foot long hero) into multiple sections, you would say that you have sandwiches, plural. If you wanted to grab one, you wouldn't say "I'm going to grab a 64th of a sandwich" because you would sound deranged. Despite being parts of a larger whole, they are still ingredients between pieces of bread, and thus fit the definition of "sandwich."

Anyway, thank you for coming on this non-gaming detour with me. It was extremely important that I prove a friend wrong on this topic, and even though I don't think I did that and I think he's choosing to double down on his incorrect opinions, I'm still choosing to spin this as a personal and moral victory. New actual DidYouGamings will come out as soon as I discover any new facts about video games (right now there's only a couple hundred facts about video games at all and I've basically covered all of them.)

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I'm just going to come right out and say it, I love Kafka Hibino. He's so goddamn cute that I literally want to just eat him alive. This is my first time writing for him - though I've been thinking about it for ages. I hope you like it, @supersecretsaga And I apologize, I'm wholly incapable of writing without it exceeding 1k words. So, SORRY. I proofed this once on google docs and that's all I have in me today. Any gross errors that look like I didn't mean to do them, message me!

C/W ::: Human Kafka, F.reader, not a lot of swearing. I just don't get the sense that Kafka would swear unnecessarily. Maybe I'm wrong. My perception will probably change. Really, who cares. Um, P->V (unprotected), jumping the relationship gun (but, with him, I would, too.)

WC ::: 3,094 (about 7 3/4 pages on G-Docs).

MDNI UNDER THE CUT

Kafka Hibino was simple, through and through. But when he met you that day in the hospital, his whole life changed. He knew he'd never be the same man he was before he was admitted.

You're a nurse. You were great at your job, and you knew it. Though the first time you saw that big, dumb puppy-energy-giving man, you knew that you were a goner, as well.

He was admitted around 2 am. Settled in around 5 am. He was in a lot of pain from the fight he'd gotten into with the Kaiju around midnight. He had 2 broken arms, bruised ribs. A number of different things had happened to him.

Kafka would be in good hands, though. Really, really good hands.

Your hands.

**** 7:30 am ****

"Oh- oh my god. What was THAT!?" You pulled your hand from the large porcelain tub in his bathroom and squeezed the sponge out over his short dark hair.

Giggling, you blinked slowly because you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. And not just between your thighs. No, this was something else entirely. His stupid haircut, his kind eyes and dumbass smile were hammering their way through your boundaries. The same boundaries you'd worked so hard over the years to build to not get emotionally attached to patients.

"You're an idiot, Mr. Hibino. A complete moron. Have you never been bathed before? That was just a little something extra to help loosen up your muscles, a quick massage. My goodness. It's as if you've never been pampered." You stood from where you were on your knees on the floor and shook your hands out, purposely getting water on his face - you hoped in his eyes - so you would have a reason to gingerly wipe it dry.

"Call me Kafka," he said, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you grab the towel and stand over him.

"What?" You were confused. You didn't realize he'd been asking you something.

"Call me Kafka. It's my name, yeah?" He sounded so serious, so sincere. You nodded and wiped his face with the towel, noticing the small wrinkles as he smiled up at you.

Fuck. He's adorable and you're finding it harder and harder to stay professional.

"No. Your name is Mr. Hibino and that's what I'll be calling you. Ok? Mr. Hibino? Now, let's finish this bath and get you back in bed. The doctor will be coming by soon to check on you and he can give you another massage if you need it." You moved your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them as you continued talking. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Hibino. Your body needs to heal."

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tub.

You kept massaging him, not stopping until he was almost asleep.

This sweet, gentle man, had a power over you that no one else did. And you weren't sure how to deal with it.

Quite a while later (sorry, storyline faux pas - I didn’t take into account healing time. But let’s just say that because he’s part Kaiju that he heals exceptionally fast. Ok? Ok!)*****

**** 1 month later, 10 pm ****

You hadn't seen Kafka since the morning bath you'd given him. He was discharged and sent home to continue his recovery. As a nurse, you knew he would be alright. But as a woman, you were left feeling empty and wanting more of him.

You were home that night, exhausted, but unable to sleep. You tried to keep your thoughts away from the big, gentle man who had stolen your heart with his kind words and warm smile, but it was impossible.

Your mind drifted to the way he looked at you as you bathed him.

How his body was perfectly balanced between the hard muscles he'd earned in his training and the slight squish around his mid-section that you wanted nothing more than to run your fingertips over.

His arms were thick and strong. Yet not battle-worn. He didn't have too many scars, though they'd have only added to his appeal.

His legs were muscular, too. Thick and strong, like his arms. His thighs were something else, something you found yourself daydreaming about wrapping your own legs around.

You wondered what his cock would feel like inside of you. You snuck a glance when he was in the tub. You knew his eyes were closed when you looked at it, bobbing away in the water. You're certain he was hard. Otherwise, you prayed he wasn't a grower because any more than that and you'd be the one being admitted to the hospital.

You thought about his hands on your body, squeezing your breasts and sliding between your thighs. You imagined what it would be like to feel his fingers inside of you, massaging you and bringing you to orgasm faster than you could imagine.

You rubbed your clit slowly, gently. You couldn't bring yourself to fuck yourself with a vibrator or even your own fingers. You didn't want to give yourself that much pleasure. 

You wanted it to be Kafka.

You wanted him to be the one to take you, to fuck you, to make love to you.

You rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow as you yelled out in frustration.

"This is ridiculous. This is so stupid. I - I'm not some teenager who can't control herself." You stood and walked to your closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and your purse and left for the mini mart down the street from your house. 

Chocolate was the next best thing you could think of. Other than, of course, Kafka running his hands all over your body. But what are the chances of that.

What are the chances of that?

The night air was cool against your skin. A nice contrast to the heat you'd built up while thinking about him.

You grabbed a pint of chocolate ice cream and began walking back home.

You felt better, slightly, but still very much wanting.

**** 10:30 pm ****

You were halfway through your pint and the movie when you heard a knock on your front door. "Coming, hold on, please." You walked to the door and looked through your peephole to see who it was. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me. What on earth are you doing here, Mr. Hibino?" The smile on your face was causing the back of your head to strain. You couldn't hide that you felt like your prayers had been answered all at once. But at the same time, you didn't want Kafka to see this look of bliss on your flushed face.

"Call me Kafka," he said softly, leaning against the doorway and smiling back at you. "And I wanted to see you again. May I? Come in, I mean. Please?"

You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.

You watched as he looked around your living room. You could tell he was a little nervous, but so were you.

You'd never felt this way about a patient before. Ex-patient, you had to remind yourself. He was no longer under your care. 

"Ok, Kafka." He smiled at the way you said his name. He'd never heard anything like it before. "Would you like some ice cream? I was just sitting here, eating some, watching a bad movie." You chuckled, showing him the container and spoon.

"Sure. I'd love some." He sat down right in the middle of your couch, and you sat next to him.

You handed him the ice cream and he dug in.

You both ate in silence for a few minutes until he said, "This is good."

You nodded and smiled. "It is. Sometimes chocolate, um, well, sometimes it's the only thing that helps. Y'know?" You looked at him, noticing the way his lips had turned up into a smirk. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're just ... you just ... h-here. Can I? There's a little bit of ... right ..." He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip so slowly and then sucked the ice cream off. "... there. You just had a little on your lip. 'S gone now."

You weren't sure what to do. Your body was telling you to jump on him and fuck him until neither of you could walk. Your brain was telling you to wait and see what other kind of sweet nothings he'd do for you. 

So, you waited. You had no idea your self-control was this well-honed. Again, you’d never been tested like this before.

But Kafka was different.

"You're beautiful, y'know." He whispered, looking at the floor like he was trying to burn holes in it with his eyes. He turned his head, leaning in a little bit closer than you were to him at the hospital. His hand moved to rest on your knee. And he said, "I've never met anyone like you before. I thought I was just going lay in the hospital bed until I was better. But you showed me kindness and care. I know you were just doing your job, but I'm grateful that you were there. That you were … you."

You didn't say anything. You were too busy trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest. You're sure if he'd looked, he'd see your tits jumping ever so slightly from the heaviness of the beating.

"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Miss. I don’t know your first name. I’m embarrassed at how many ‘L/N’ households I went to looking for you.”

Your hand shot up to cover the smile that immediately bloomed across your lips. "That's not important. It's Y/N. And you're welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you. I didn't expect you to come here, though. I'm glad you did." You shifted, moving your knee so that your legs were touching. He didn't move his hand. He held it there, squeezing your knee gently.

"I didn't think I'd come here either. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know it's not appropriate for me to be here, but I had to see you again. I wanted to say thank you, in person." He turned his head and looked at you. You leaned in closer to him, your noses almost touching. "And maybe something else. Something that would make you feel as special as you made me feel when you took care of me."

You were so close to him you could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. He smelled like the air before a storm, and whiskey. But a little liquid courage never killed anyone.

"Kafka," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face. You were fidgeting with a small piece of his hair as you rest your forehead against his. "Kafka. I ..."

He sat up abruptly, "Oh shit! You're not married, are you? I should have asked, I'm so sorry for showing up here so late. Without any warning." He bowed to you and started for the door.

"Kafka! I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone right now. Please, come back. Come sit." You stood and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. "I was going to say I've never felt this way about a patient before. You make me feel like there's something more to life than just my job."

He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of dishonesty. He couldn't find any. "So, you don't mind me coming here?"

You shook your head. "I don't mind you coming here at all. I'm glad you did. I was just surprised, that's all. Please don't leave. Not yet." You held his hand tighter and urged him back down on the couch with you.

Pulling him back in, kissing him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting you to do that since the first time I saw you, too. But you in terrible pain when you came in. How did you have the presence of mind to want to kiss me when you were so badly beaten up?"

He laughed, "I wasn't beaten up, per se. I just didn't come out on top." He paused for a second, and then continued, "And the pain wasn't as bad as you think. I'm used to it. It's a part of my job. But being here with you, it's like I can forget all of that. And just be me. Kafka. Nothing else."

You leaned in and kissed him again, this time with more urgency. His lips parted slightly, and you could taste the chocolate on his tongue. You moaned softly, shifting so that your legs were wrapped around him. He pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled him, grinding yourself against his crotch.

"Oh my god," he moaned, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes. "Y/N. You're so beautiful." He reached up and touched your cheek with his thumb, rubbing it gently.

You pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. His chest was chiseled and smooth, his abs flexing slightly under his cute belly as he breathed heavily.

You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every muscle and every scar. You kissed his neck, biting it gently and sucking on his skin. "Kafka, I want you. I want you so much."

He pulled your shirt off and threw it next to his. "I'm gonna make you feel so good that you'll forget all about chocolate."

You stopped, pulling back from his face, and you laughed so hard for the first time in ages. "Oh, that might be the most serious thing anyone has ever said to me. Challenge accepted!"

He pulled you back into him and kissed you, his hands reaching around to squeeze your ass as you ground yourself against him. He picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently laying you on the bed before climbing on top of you.

You unclasped your bra and tossed it to the floor, allowing him to see your breasts. He gasped as quietly as he could manage, running his hands over them and squeezing them gently. "You're so beautiful. You know that?"

He leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently as his fingers worked at your pants. He slid them off, revealing your black lace panties. You'd never felt so exposed in your life. And you loved it.

"Kafka, please," you moaned as he sucked harder on your nipple, his hand moving down to rub your clit through your panties. "Please fuck me. I need you. I need you so bad."

He pulled back, looking at your face. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you cum? Oh-hoh baby, I will. I might even cum before you do! But don't lose faith. It's just, well, it's been a while? I guess? But that's not important right now." He leaned in and kissed you again, biting your bottom lip and sucking on it gently.

"It's ok, Kafka. I want you. I don't care if you cum before me. I just want you inside me. Please, please." You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe you were begging like this, but you didn't care. You wanted him so badly.

He nodded and pulled your panties off, throwing them to the floor. He pushed his own pants down and pulled his boxers off with them, his cock set free.

You gasped at the sight. It was so much more than what you saw when he was in the tub. "Jesus, I-"

He looked down, "Oh. That?" He turned his head away, "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you've seen um, better? But I make up for it in other ways! I promise, y/n. Just give me a chance."

You shook your head and smiled, "That's not at all what I'm trying to say here. There's not a doubt in my mind you won't fuck me stupid, Kafka." You giggled and reached your arms out to pull him down against you.

He positioned himself between your legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit as he kissed your neck.

You moaned, "Ohhh, fuck. Yes. Do that." Your hand moved to his ass, squeezing it as he rocked against you.

He pushed himself inside of you slowly, stretching you out as he went. The slight sting you noticed dissipated as quickly as the onset. You moaned, your nails digging into his back as he started to thrust faster. "Kafka, oh my god. That feels so fucking good. More. I want more,  please."

He grunted, his cock sliding in and out of you as you arched your back, grinding yourself against him. He sucked on your nipple again, his tongue flicking over it as he fucked you harder and faster.

You couldn't believe how much he was making you feel. You hadn't had sex in so long, but this was different. This was something else entirely. He was with you. He wasn't just there to get himself off. You'd been with guys like that before and they, more often than not, left you with a (literal) bad taste in your mouth.

Your breathing quickened, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And the closer you got, the harder your nails dug into his muscular back. "Kaf-hoh shit. Y-that ... pl- fuck. 'M gonna cum ... very … very soon."

He pulled back slightly, looking at your face as you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back. "Me too, baby. Me too. You're so tight, and you feel so good. I can't believe I'm inside of you. Fuck. I'm gonna cum, Y/N. Oh shit, I'm gonna cum." He grunted again, his cock twitching inside of you as he came hard, filling you up.

You came with him, your pussy squeezing around his cock as he kept fucking you, slowing his thrusts until he stopped completely.

"Fuck," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently. "Kafka."

He smiled and kissed you softly. "RIGHT!?" 

You laughed through a yawn at the high energy he had when you first met, despite his injuries, and how he seems now. “Stay? Stay with me. I don’t want you to go. Tonight. Ever.” 

He held you close to him, kissing the top of your head and brushing your hair down as you drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.

"Just try’n get rid of me, y/n." 

@darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa

@arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess

@bakubunny @reiners-milkbiddies

***If you guys absolutely hate this anime or don't give a shit, please please let me know so I don't keep writing and tagging you in stuff you don't care about! Thanks, mooties! <3***

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Shades of Grey

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)

(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always

Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)

TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!

August 2021

The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop. 

“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”

Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”

“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh. 

“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”

“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, ” Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”

Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe. 

“You don’t mean that,” she whispers. 

Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”

“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”

“Watch your fucking mouth-”

“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word. 

Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister. 

“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”

“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”

“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”

“I didn’t lie about anything.”

Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’,  all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”

“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”

“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”

“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in. 

“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”

“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet. 

“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door. 

“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think  I wanna be friends.”

When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken. 

***

July 2023

Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch. 

When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s. 

Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared. 

“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together. 

“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch. 

Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”

“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously. 

“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”

The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days. 

“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant. 

“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”

“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”

It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant. 

“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent. 

“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”

“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”

“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”

“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”

“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”

Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions. 

“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”

“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”

She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out. 

“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”

The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it. 

“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”

Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?” 

Azzi’s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight. 

“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”

Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”

Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-

“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this  random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige. 

“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment. 

Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom. 

There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.

She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”

“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”

“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm. 

“Stop lying,” Paige bites out. 

“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.  

“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief. 

“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”

“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”

“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers. 

Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”

“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.” 

“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”

The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her. 

“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline. 

“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”

Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.

Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine. 

“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine. 

A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm. 

“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them. 

“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants. 

“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”

Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”

It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above. 

“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies. 

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”

Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-

“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately,  against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction. 

“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”

As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw. 

“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together. 

Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s  firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked. 

“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers- 

“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls. 

“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door,  “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”

“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”

“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”

“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”

Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly. 

There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself

“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly. 

“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”

“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.

There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”

Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her. 

“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her. 

“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”

Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart. 

“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up. 

“Paige I-”

“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her. 

***

November 2023

UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury. 

The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have. 

It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins. 

Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little. 

“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.

Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”

They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart. 

*** 

UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.

It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow. 

Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them. 

“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”

“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises. 

“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?

“Right, right, continue.”

“Well now I don’t want to.”

Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary. 

“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously. 

“Fresh air.”

“And?”

Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”

“It always feels like that at the beginning.”

“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you  his hardest battles, right?”

“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”

“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”

“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”

Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right,  and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.

“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”

I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me. 

“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them. 

“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue. 

“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”

“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”

“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”

“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”

“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-” 

“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”

“Paige-”

“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue. 

In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But- 

“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”

The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face. 

The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”

“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”

If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees. 

Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up. 

“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same. 

The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone. 

“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately. 

“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck. 

“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”

“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.

Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch,  “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows. 

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit. 

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”

Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”

Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”

She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.

“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”

Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips. 

“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”

Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress. 

“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge. 

“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer. 

There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles. 

***

Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob. 

She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.

And then she gets up and goes on with her day. 

[cucumber-icepop]

Website spoilers under the cut! Every password I could think to try, being updated as I go

If you input the password "Cipher" it takes you to the Wikipedia page for Triangles, and if you put in "Bill" it takes you to a Youtube video of a Sesame Street song about triangles!

"Billcipher" takes you to the Wikipedia page for the eye of providence

"Ford" takes you to a page written by scientists(?) discussing his hands.

"Euclydia" brings up the text "DIMENSION NOT FOUND" :(

"Alex" takes you to the Google search page for flannel. Cool

"Pines" brings up the text "A GOOD FAMILY TREE"

"Stan" brings up an Ebay page for brass knuckles. (This happens with "Stanley" too!)

"Blanchin" brings up a Youtube video on how to "blanch" vegtables.

"Dipper" brings up a slip of paper written by Bill telling him that he needs to stare directly into the sun to crack some of the codes in the book.

"Mabel" puts star stickers all over the webpage!

"McGucket" brings up the Cotton Eye Joe song on Youtube.

"Soos" brings up a few pages written by Soos about what it's like being the new Mr. Mystery. There's pudding on the page

"Pinata" (a code suggested in Soos' letter) pulls up a video of a Bill pinata being beaten, Alex is voicing him in the video. Get him!!!!

"Baby" pulls up a Bill ultrasound????????????

"Blindeye" pulls up an image WITH CODES!!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOO

"Prism" doesn't work, but corrupts the prism on the screen.

"Gideon" pulls up audio of Gideon singing.

"Pacifica" brings up a letter written by Pacifica (and Mabel!!)

"Season 1" brings up text about "Season -1" of "Antigravity Falls"

"Season 2" brings up "Season 1", and "Season 3" brings up "Season 2". There is no easter bunny there is no tooth fairy

"Divorce" brings up the O'Sadley's logo (the beer Bill drinks) and a zip file???????? The zip file is just the png of the logo

"Wendy" pulls up a page where Wendy tricks the viewer.

"Robbie" brings up a chatlog between him and Thompson, they summon Bill

"Reality" brings up the text "IS AN ILLUSION"

"Universe" brings up the text "HOLOGRAM"

"Rat" brings up text saying "THURBURTS' NUMBER?"

"Weird" brings up A VIDEO OF WEIRD AL?????

"Gravityfalls" brings up text saying "NEVER HEARD OF IT"

"Waddles" brings up a website called "Pig Placement Network". It's a pig adoption website!

"Death" brings up text saying "LIFE'S GOTH COUSIN"

"Life" brings up text saying "LIFE: 72% COMPLETE. NOW LOADING: DEATH"

"Axolotl" brings up text reading "YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS"

"Fuck" brings up a picture reading: NOT S&P APPROVED! WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP" and a picture of soap lmaooooo. This also happens if you type in "Shit"

"Thebookofbill" pulls up text reading "HIDE IT UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE" ??????

"Mason" (I can't believe it took me this long to try that) brings up a page written by Dipper where he writes some anagrams. Ford has written something about a Cryptogram Codex on the bottom of the page.

"Cryptogram Codex" causes another zip file to be instantly downloaded. It contains different fonts for some of the codes used in TBoB!

"Theraprism" brings up this image

Very cool

"Love" brings up an image of Bill's stupid romance novel

"Journal3" pulls up text reading "THE JOURNAL FOR ME"

"Journal2" pulls up text reading "THE JOURNAL FOR YOU"

"Journal1" brings up text reading "THE JOURNAL OF FUN". Journal is looking less and less like a word to me

"Sorry" brings up the full picture of Ford and McGucket in college. What if I cried

"God" pulls up a video of a Bill statue in an aquarium with an Axolotl

"Lies" brings up a long page written by Bill, where he talks about lying and reality. It ends with a short video of flickering text reading "LIE UNTIL YOU AREN'T LYING ANYMORE".

"Scalene" and "Euclid" both bring up text saying "LIFE FORM NOT FOUND" I'm in shambles

I'm going to end the post here, I've been doing this for an hour, and the people running the main codes Google doc already have most of the results down. Aohurz av hufvul dov ylhkz aopz, zahf dlpyk, huk kypur dhaly!

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Kairi

kairi is the third protagonist of the kingdom hearts series and the third member of the destiny trio, alongside fan favorites sora and riku. sora/riku shippers HATE kairi, and will go out of their way to discount her at every turn. the hate for her ranges from typical "she's a boring bitch" to fans of soriku making five-hour long video essays reassuring their fellow shippers that the big bad kairi won't show up in the next installment – to quote one video, "she's in a box. she's on the shelf. four walls, no door." kairi is the greatest bogeyman the soriku fandom has ever known, to the point where most of said video essays and fanon meta posts focus not on why sora and riku should get together, but rather on why they don't like kairi.

Literally has a 100+ page Google doc fan theory writing her out of the narrative and putting all of her (few) canonical accomplishments onto half of the popular m/m ship (soriku). Don't even get me started on how her memory was completely written out of the canon plot of re:coded. KH is a nightmare to explain so dude trust me she is THE victim of yaoi

She is so fundamental to the plot and themes and narratives of game and yet it is near impossible to find anything about her thats not ship bashing pre-mlm with the other two characters. I dont even care if she ends up with one of the main characters i just want fans to see her as a cool character to love or like, anything other than “annoying comphet girl.” You can write your mlm but pleaae stop inventing comphet where it doesnt exist. She does not even get to spend time with sora ever?? Why does everyone see her as a threat and a thing to destroy?? Let her have friends so help me

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I refuse to do anymore work on the group project we already missed the deadline for, but can still submit?

I am extremely tired of being walked over and doing all the work. I'm a 3rd year uni student and multiple times I've been the main person doing group project work. The latest example is what prompted this ask. Our task was to do a discussion and then write an essay based on it, the group consists of 4 people including me. We talked for 10 minutes at the end of last week and a little bit yesterday. We did the majority of the work yesterday as well.

There are 14 points/questions we need to cover. Multiple people not only are advised to, but must cover the same questions so there's substance to be worked with. While the rest of the group covered some, it's insufficient and I did the majority of the work on the first half of the questions and all of the second half. A worked on 4/14 questions (pretty short answers), B also did 4/14 questions (one longer answer, three pretty short answers), C wrote 2.5/14 questions (2 medium length answers, one single sentence answer) and D, me, did 11/14 (mainly long answers with a couple of shorter ones).

After I made a Google Doc to make communication easier, they submitted their answers and basically ghosted me. I asked multiple times for help but was met with silence or jokes about checking the grammar and typos later for me. Again, we don't have enough substances to work with, the essay CANNOT be completed with what we have so far.

And here's where the issues get deeper. I asked for someone to at least look at what I've written down so far multiple times, proofread it if you will. Silence. I know for a fact A and C were FREE and could've continued working on the project, while B might or might not have been at work. Finally C said they'll do it. We were left with less than an hour to wrap it up and submit it before the deadline at this point.

2 minutes after saying that they'll read it, they sent me a "it's great" message. They shameless lied to my face.

I was inside the Doc the whole time and no other users were shown to be viewing the page, let alone reading 3 lengthy paragraphs in 2 minutes.

At some point during the day I was so desperate, I was ready to delete all I've written, comments, intro and first few paragraphs of the essay, everything and beg to join a different group. But a friend managed to calm me down and I didn't go that route.

I can't write to the professor and explain the situation to him, it's just not an option, that's not a practice in my country when the subject only consists of lectures and the professor has to look after 100+ students. My last hope is tomorrow morning those 3 will see the newest messages of me asking for help to finish it and will help me. If that doesn't happen, well...

What I can do is say fuck it and give them the same treatment they've given me – ghost them, don't do additional work on the questions and essay and take all of us down for not finishing and submitting the final project. I don't really want to do it and fuck up our grades (we have no idea how important this homework is for the final grade) but I genuinely see no other way. So WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[azukisoul]

Translation of GinHiji manga/dj: "Together." by 礼央。(pixiv) [non-h]

This was requested on Twitter, a heartwarming reincarnation story :") I loved translating it.

CLICK HERE FOR MANGA LINK | Out of courtesy to the artist I'm not reposting their art here, please visit the page, refer to the translation as you read along, and show the artist some love!

I do not mind uncredited text reposts but please DO NOT use my translation to scanlate/edit the manga and post the edits. Keep it text only and link to the source.

Downloadable translation on Google Docs

Translation

[page 1] S: Hijikata-san! H: Oh, glasses. G: Um, have you seen Gin-san?

[page 2] H: Oh, so you're alive. G: Huh!? G: Is it a bad thing that I'm alive? G: Wait. G: Hold on, you're on break? H: Well, yeah. G: Are you here to see me? H: I'm just taking a walk. G: Hmph. I know you're here to see me, though. H: Die, idiot. G: What have you been saying!? Am I not allowed to be alive!?

[page 3] H: Earlier, H: I saw glasses. G: Shinpachi? H: Yeah. H: He was looking for you, y'know. G: …. H: You… H: What are you H: thinking of right now? G: What's this all of a sudden? G: Is it because of Shinpachi? S: Gin-san has been acting weird lately. S: This morning, too, he said he's just heading out to buy Jump, but… H: Nah. H: Well… H: Yeah.

[page 4] H: He was worried about you. H: Hurry up and go home. G: Pfft. That's why you were surprised I'm alive? G: Hijikata-kun, are you an idiot? H: Shut up. G: Hey, wanna listen to me? H: Sure.

[page 5] G: You know, I… H: Mm. G: I found myself thinking that I'm happy. H: Mm. G: And then I ended up thinking about whether or not I'm allowed to be this happy. G: And then, somehow G: I suddenly got scared. H: I see. G: If I'm at home, G: there's Kagura, and Sadaharu, G: and during the day there's Shinpachi, too. G: It's fun there even if we're not doing anything. H: Mm.

[page 6] G: I ended up thinking that I don't want to let them go. H: …. G: It's silly, right? G: I've never even thought about what's ahead of me or what my future looks like. G: Someday, they all will go to walk on their own paths and leave my side. G: This won't go on forever. I know that, and I don't have a problem with that. G: I'll tell them that I'm happy they all found something they want to do. G: But then I thought about what I'm going to do by myself when that time comes. G: I closed my eyes G: and tried to picture that now emptier room. G: And then…

[page 7] G: I can only see you there, Hijikata. G: Hey. G: Will you live together with me?

[page 8] H: Those words made my heart clench. H: Ah. H: I want to protect this person. I want to be by his side. H: That's what I felt.

[page 9] H: Things progressed surprisingly quickly after that. H: Kondou-san cried and was happy for us. H: The kids welcomed us. H: And then, we H: someway somehow, became a family.

[page 10] G: Hey. G: Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death.

[page 11] G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life H: I'll keep you from being alone again.

[page 12] H: Hey, hurry up!

[page 13] H: You're so damn slow, you fucking perm! You want us to leave together, right!? G: Wa-wait a minute, okay! I'm coming now, dammit! H: Your slowness is gonna make me end up being late! G: Sorry, sorry. *step step step* G: Man, Mr. Public Servant Police Officer here sure is strict about time. H: You're the one who's too loose about it! Also, hurry up and find a job already! G: No need. Right now, I'm trying to think about what I truly want in life. It's an important time for me. H: You'll probably go to the Employment Service Center today, anyway. G: I can't say anything to that! H: Hey. H: You…

[page 14] G: Okay, then. Be careful. H: What are you thinking about right now? H: Yeah. You too. H: What do you see? G: I'm gonna make dinner and wait for you, darling. H: That's freaking gross. H: Are you not afraid anymore? H: Right now, H: are you happy? *clack*

[page 15] H: Me? H: Yeah. I'm here with you, H: so I'm happy.

[page 16] The following is an additional story for "Together." that I drew for REOLOG (my doujin collection). *Depiction of death *Post-reincarnation

[page 17] G: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. G: I don't know who it belongs to.

[page 18] G: G to T… G: G is for Gintoki, I guess? G: Then who is T… G: I have absolutely no idea.

[page 19] G: My mom said G: I seem to have picked it up out of nowhere when I was a baby. G: Even when they took it away out of fear of me accidentally swallowing it G: or threw it away because it seemed strange, G: before they knew it, it always returned to the palm of my hands. G: My mom then had the idea of putting that ring around my neck.

[page 20] S: Heey, Gintoki! S: The entrance ceremony is about to start. G: Yeah, I'm coming. G: I have no idea if this ring even has any meaning at all. G: But, G: when I look at it, my heart becomes calmer, yet also excited, yet also painful. It's strange. G: I'm sure there is a meaning. G: I believe that. H: Haha. K: And then, Otae-san was like…

[page 21] G: Hiji… G: …kata.

[page 22] *glare* *ba-dump* G: Huh? H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. Did I say something? H: Huh? Say something? Nah. You called my name, right? G: N… Name?

[page 23] O: Hijikata-san! What are you doing? H: Tch. You damn perm. G: His name is G: Hijikata, huh… G: Hijikata? I said his name? I did? G: Why? G: …. G: Hijikata.

[page 24] G: Hijikata. G: Who is that? G: Hijikata. G: Is that someone I know? G: Hijikata. G: Who the hell are you? G: Hey, Hijikata. G: Will you live together with me? G: Who?

[page 25] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. H: So that in our next life…

[page 26] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *rustle*

[page 27] G: Hijikata… G: …Toshirou. G: Yeah. I remember now. G: I remember now. G: G to T. G: This is G: the ring I gave him.

[page 28] G: In our next life… G: We met. G: We met, G: Hijikata.

[page 29] -

[page 30] H: I'll go too, soon. H: Wait for me, okay?

[page 31] H: Yorozuya.

[page 32] -

[page 33] H: I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. H: Who does it belong to? H: What shards are these? H: I have no idea.

[page 34] G: And then, Zura and Sakomoto's like… G: Then, Takasugi fell (lol) G: Hilarious, right? H: …. H: Hey, Sakata. G: What is it, Hijikata-kun? H: Which class are you in? G: H (Ecchi) ♥ H: Don't say it in such a weird way. H: And this class is? G: A Class. H: Then, let me ask you this. H: Why are you always eating lunch here everyday!? We're not even on the same floor. H: Furthermore, here in front of me!

[page 35] G: That's clearly G: because I want to be next to you, right? G: Just kidding. *GROSSED OUT* *fidgets* G: Hey, come on! Don't look so clearly grossed out like that! H: Stop those jokes already. G: Hahah. It was just a joke. Don't mind it so much. H: Geez. I really don't date guys, okay? H: ….

[page 36] H: ? G: I know, I know. G: Hahah. H: Sakata Gintoki… H: The first time I met him was on the day of our high school entrance ceremony. G: Hiji… G: …kata.

[page 37] H: Who the hell are you? G: Oh, sorry. H: A guy with lazy eyes that resemble those of a dead fish. H: Rarely-seen silver hair. G: Did I say something? H: It should've been the first time we met, but it didn't feel like the first. H: You damn perm. H: After that day, H: For some reason, Sakata took a liking to me and popped up in my classroom whenever he had the time. O: Oh, it's Danna. K: Ooh, Gintoki, you're here. G: Don't interrupt us. Get the hell away, Gorilla. H: Kondou-san is not a gorilla!

[page 38] H: The guy is suspicious, H: but I don't think of it as strange and end up hating it. H: In fact, that smile H: perhaps even feels familiar to me. *ba-dump* G: Hm? What's wrong? H: Oh, nothing. H: I never knew you wear that thing.

[page 39] G: Oh, this? G: You're curious about it? H: Nah, not really. G: Don't worry. I don't have a girlfriend or anything. H: L-Like anyone even asked about that! G: Come on, just hear me out. G: This is something I've been keeping safe for as long as I can remember. G: I've been holding on to it without even knowing who it belongs to or why I can't let go of it. H: Without knowing… H: All this time? G: Yeah. G: All this time. H: For as long as you can remember? G: Yeah. G: As long as I can remember.

[page 40] H: I was shocked. H: His story is exactly the same as mine. H: The ring in that bottle… H: And his ring… *thump* H: What is happening? H: There's a strange pain in my chest. *ruffles*

[page 41] G: Take your time. H: …. G: I'll wait.

[page 42] H: T to G. H: Does it mean from Toshirou to Gintoki…?

[page 43] H: That can't be the case. H: The first time I met him was on the day of our entrance ceremony. H: I don't think I've met him before that. H: But… is that true? G: I'll wait. H: Could it be that I've just forgotten? H: I want to remember. H: I feel like I have to remember. H: If there really is something to remember. H: Or do I just want that to be the case? H: I don't know. H: On his ring… H: Are there somebody's initials carved on it?

[page 44] H: Sakata. H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Who are you? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: Really? H: Sakata Gintoki. H: I called his name like that?

[page 45] G: Hey, Hijikata-kun. G: If I die first, G: what'll you do? H: Let's see. H: I'll put my ring on you H: and then I'll put your ring in a small bottle along with some small shards H: and I'll carry it with me until my death. G: So we can meet again up there? H: Nah. H: Not up there. *taps* H: So that in our next life…

[page 46] H: So that in our next life… H: I'll keep you from being alone again. *shock...*

[page 47] H: Right. H: I know him. H: I know Sakata Gintoki. H: Something as important as this… H: How could I forget… *grip* G: Hijikata-kun. H: Tch. H: Damn it…! *runs*

[page 48] H: Haa… H: Haa… *ring* *ring* H: Hey, where the hell are you? H: What? H: Heading back home from work? Where!? H: Whatever, just tell me! H: Huh? H: Near the park? Then right now I'm… G: Hijikata!

[page 49] G: Hey, what's up? H: Sakata… H: Gintoki. G: Hijikata? What's wrong? H: Sorry. G: Hm? H: I said I'll keep you from being alone, but… H: Sorry. G: … H: You've been in front of me all this time, but H: I didn't realize. I'm sorry. H: I've never even called your name properly. H: I'm really sorry,

[page 50] H: Yorozuya.

[page 51] G: Hijikata, you… H: Hey, Yorozuya… H: Can you put it on me, too? G: …

[page 52] H: Hah. H: It fits me perfectly. I've been holding on to it as long as I can remember. I don't know who it belongs to. But…

[page 53] G: We finally meet, Hijikata. G: Don't cry. H: I'm just sorry for making you wait. H: Also, I'm not crying. G: You're totally crying. H: I'm not crying.

[page 54] Those faraway memories, bond, love. The miracle of being able to meet again.

[page 55] I won't let you be alone. I'll be by your side. To make you happy. To become happy. From now on, too, always.

[page 56] Together.

[mbm-artist]

Hi there hello, I'm sure you're wondering either

A) Why tf I just reblogged a bunch of stuff in the span of like 30 seconds

B) What's going on in general

C) What's the point of this post you're reading

D) All of the above

Well dear viewer, I'm gonna give you a TL;DR and then under the cut give a more in-depth explanation, I'll even cut it up into different sections to make viewing easier :)

⚠️ Trigger Warnings ⚠️

Randy (duh), a LOT of swearing (duh), suicide mentions, pedophilia/attempted grooming/etc mentions, queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, etc), misogyny, mentions of sexual things, slurs, harassment, general 16+ content mentions

Disclaimer

Randy is a 14 year old minor (allegedly) as of the time this post was made, please DO NOT INTERACT with him, just block him and report him as many times as you want. This post's purpose is to spread awareness and maybe hopefully get him banned from Tumblr. Please do not go after, attack, or interact with him or his (supposed) "girlfriend" (he has her tagged at the bottom of his pinned post). I suggest you block (NOT REPORT) his "girlfriend" too, you can never be too careful.

As of the time this post was made Randy's father and school have been contacted, and we are waiting on an update.

Please offer all the victims of Randy unconditional love and support, they deserve that and so much more for all the bullshit this kid put them through, don't you dare even TRY to victim blame them. I will flame you if you attack them at all in any way shape or form, no excuses, ifs, ands, or buts.

I am also a minor in high school (not giving my age for my own safety), so take that how you will. My pronouns are they/them/he/him if you don't know already :D

One more thing before we get into it (if it wasn't obvious already),

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PAGE AND BLOCK ME IF YOU'RE QUEERPHOBIC (transphobic, homophobic, etc) OR AGREE WITH RANDY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME EVER AGAIN.

Thank you, you may now proceed.

Links

The Google Doc (Alllllll the info about this guy in one place, most reliable source of info) | Randy's "gf's" tag, #proud randy supporter (Second-most reliable source of info, this has a LOT of updates on him in real time) | Randy tag, #randysworld-multi-fandom-fan/randysworld2009 (Second-most reliable source of info, all posts related to him will [hopefully] be here) | Randy's Interactions With Me (proof of him interacting with me) | Google Photos Album (just all of the screenies of proof in one place, I'm gonna tryyyyy to keep this updated as much as I can but no promises)

My response to the 1st ask he sent me | My response to the 2nd ask he sent me (pretty much the same as the first one)

The Short Explanation

So basically this whole fiasco is about @randysworld-multi-fandom-fan or otherwise known as randysworld2009

His crime(s)?

1. Hypocrisy

2. Queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, the works)

3. Misogyny

4. Perversion (being a pervert)

5. Suicide baiting

6. Pedophilia accusations (all of which are false, and carelessly thrown around)

7. Attempted grooming(?) of fellow minors

8. Slurs (need I say more?)

9. Harassment (in case that wasn't obvious already)

Among other things

He's been interacting with accounts in the following fandoms (as of the time this post was posted):

The Amazing Digital Circus (TADC)

Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss, or HV/HH/HB)

Murder Drones (MD)

SMG4 (Super Mario Glitchy 4)

Yo Gabba Gabba (YGG)

TL;DR this guy is a 5yo Gen Alpha brainrotted kid stuck in a 14yo kid's body, and he's been harassing multiple (mainly TADC) accounts on Tumblr for a bit now, and just being a nuisance and damaging people's mental health.

That's the simple explanation, if you're still not convinced you need to block this guy (and his [supposed] girlfriend) and report him until your hands hurt and/or would like to know more thennnnn

The full explanation + evidence is under the cut ✨

The Long Explanation

Okay so I'm gonna be quoting the Google Doc a LOT here, you'll be able to tell which parts are quoted and which parts are me.

"Randy or randysworld2009 is a Tumblr user that appeared around TADC blogs in the beginning of 2024. Since then, he has built a history of harassing said blogs, mostly roleplay/askblog accounts and artists, forcing roleplay and specially spouting misogyny towards women mods and fem leaning characters, transphobic and homophobic towards queer people. At one point he started getting his information messed up, saying that he was super straight and then later on a “half-bisexual”, also often times approaching people with romantic/sexual intent and then getting angry when those same people state that they are not interested or are above legal age, which he supposedly is not. It is believed that Randy is 14 years old, but at this point, we can’t be certain of what information is true or false. For all we know, his blog could be just a troll."

So yeah, this guy is bad news. That was a direct (formal) quote from one of the victims.

If formal isn't your style, here's a more casual one

"Randy first appeared around the beginning of 2024. He began harassing tadc ask blogs then that led to harassing their mods. Eventually others got involved and Randy basically snapped. He got EVEN MORE batshit and started spouting misogyny, transphobia, and dilution. He's chronically online and believes everything is a roleplay. He's obsessed with getting a girlfriend and has sexually harassed many. he is the horniest bastard you could fucking meet omg"

Another direct quote from another victim, this one he treated the WORST.

(Some) Screenshots

There are more screenshots in the Google Doc and the Google Photos Album I made, but these will be a few tidbits of evidence that will hopefully convince you by now if you're not already. (With some additional commentary/explanation from yours truly underneath each screenie✨) Additionally, all the images will have links to their sources. (Please let me know if they don't work, I'll update this with usable links if that's the case)

Exhibit A - The Bastard Himself

(Mb for light mode jumpscare here, even more reason for your eyes to bleed when looking at this immature fuck's profile)

Just his profile (as of the time this post was posted) so you know exactly who to block and report as many times as possible Exhibit B - His Interactions With Me

This is some evidence of him interacting with me, there's more in the Google Photos Album I made of proof he interacted with me

(Mb for light mode jumpscare again, it's the only way I could show the post and the comments in the same screenie)

His comments on my pinned post, if you saw this or this you know I demanded that he delete his comments on here (while flaming the fuck out of him), so here's a screenie of what they were before he (hopefully) deletes them

The first ask he sent me, my response being the awesome giant rant where I DEMOLISHED him (I'm way too proud of it if you couldn't tell)

All his interactions with me from when he initially found me

The rest of his interactions he's ever had with me

Like the first ask he sent, I answered with the same thing, ANNIHILATING this fucker (still way too proud of it)

Exhibit C - Direct Victim Testimonies (to yours truly) These are asks that I sent to the main 3 victims I had gathered evidence from before gaining access to the Google Doc, they're my main sources so far (send all the love and support to them please [especially Sunny's system they've all been hurt the most from what I can see], they're very sweet outside of all this and more than deserve it)

Dia answered first, their answer helped me gain access to the Google Doc and get a HUGE chunk of the evidence I'll be showing here

Second half of Dia's answer, a summary of the wholeeee situation straight from a direct victim

Sunny was the second to answer my ask, this is what I mean when I say clearly Sunny needs the most love and support out of all the victims (as far as ik) cus like how can you not man- also this is how I found out they contacted Randy's father and school, very big piece of lore (and you'll see why they have soon don't worry)

Lilith was the last to respond to my ask, this being how I found out that it was them specifically that contacted Randy's dad & school (which I commend them for, it was a very good move so bravo to them man genuinely)

Exhibit D - Evidence

And now the moment you've all been waiting for, if this doesn't convince you then shit idk what will-

This post was my first exposure to what Randy is ACTUALLY like and wowee what a doozy man, it started me down the rabbit hole that lead me to making this post rn (make sure you look at the notes [both comments and the reblogs] too those also have even more info aside from everybody FLAMING the fuck out of this kid lolol) Also GO OFF ON HIM GLITCH GET HIS ASS WOOOOO

(Sorry for the light mode jumpscare yet again, evidence is evidence)

1. Misgendering. What the fuck. (Dia's pronouns are they/them) 2. EW. Need I say more??? 3. This post is how I found my main 3 sources up until Dia answered my ask 4. You'll start to see that this post and the following posts show that he's SPECIFICALLY targeting fem-adjacent blogs (including blogs that are run by enbies that he assumes identify as femme and promptly misgenders) and generally being a misogynistic and transphobic BITCH

This post is an example of Randy A) Accusing a fellow minor of pedophilia (very carelessly and incorrectly might I add) B) Not even getting their age right? Hello??? C) This kid clearly does NOT know what the difference between slang and genuine predatory behavior is which shows how fucking SHELTERED this kid must be oh my GOD D) Another example of him misgendering and being misogynistic/transphobic

This post is more proof of him being misogynistic and sexually harassing people, and might I add a HORNY ASS PERVERT Rabid is actually someone I followed way before all this dude, I'm guessing that's how Randy found me unfortunately

After this screenie Dia answered my ask, so all the screenies beyond this point are straight from the Google Doc (some had links to their original posts, some didn't for the sake of anonymity which is completely understandable)

This post backs up what I said regarding the other screenie where Randy assumed Lilith was like 20, istg this kid does NOT know what fact checking is holy fuck This was a certified screenie I got from the Google Doc might I add

This post, another one provided by the Google Doc, is an example of him A) Harassing TADC ask blogs (and it leading to harassing the mods) B) Sexually harassing people and being misogynistic in general He just doesn't know when to quit huh

(Sorry again for the light mode jumpscare this is the last one I promise)

This one didn't have a post linked to it so I only found it cus of the Google Doc (so yay ig you don't have to click the links to the OG posts for more info anymore beyond this point), the mod spitting FACTS

Once again lovingly provided by the Google Doc, wowee this kid sure loves slurs

Conclusion

I know this might not get to many people, but I'm hoping it at least has some sort of positive impact, because I want to try my best to warn as many people as possible and keep him from having any more influence than he already has.

To the victims involved in this: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE PLS PLS PLS LMK IF I NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING I TRIED MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO BE AS ACCURATE AND RESPECTFUL TO YOU GUYS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE I'D REALLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK IF I GOT/DID SOMETHING WRONG

Thank you for reading my ramblies on this important news, have a cookie for getting this far and you're an LGBTQIA+ ally 🍪 (plus an additional scoop of ice cream if you're queer 🍦)

And Happy Pride Month, TRANS PRIDE BABYYY

Plus some Anti-Randy spray for the road (lovingly provided by Sunny and Lilith) ✨

(in case of any confusion, the colors kind of mean different things but not really, it's not that important- but red is for trigger warning stuffs/disclaimers and general important things, green is for section titles, blue is for links, and that's about it really-- and yes I did make a subtle RGB joke. Sue me, I wanna be at least a little funny to make light of all this grim dark stuffs. All those super super serious call-out posts can be kind of depressing so I want to find the happy middle ground between serious and lighthearted, it gets the message across and it still feels important without being too much of a downer yanno? Anyway do tell me your thoughts in the comments after dropping a reblog, I would appreciate feedback on what you think of my writing style here :3) (Oh, and if you're wondering what purple means? It's a secret 🥰)

[maximwtf]

request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.

anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 4k

Google Docs Pages: 6

Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D 

Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of. 

After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared. 

AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!

Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3

“A light that never goes out.”

As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face. 

So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.

An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.  

Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.  

You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown. 

So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well. 

You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go. 

Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice. 

“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.

With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after. 

But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit. 

And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road. 

But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either. 

The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd. 

And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward. 

Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….

Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer. 

So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once. 

The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways. 

Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you. 

The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man. 

But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now. 

You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful. 

“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time. 

Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.

You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice. 

You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air. 

His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face. 

You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him. 

But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well. 

As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede. 

The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him. 

But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy. 

You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod. 

You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you. 

[creator-savannah]

Remembered I have a 800 word reaction fic in Google docs that I do not have the motivation to write for so here are somethings I want to include in it but too lazy to actually write

Thames - 40 yr OG!Cale

Kim Rok Soo - KRS during the one year anniversary of soos death

OG!Cale - OG Cale after the plaza incident

-

TBOAH side: *Trying to convince Kim Rok Soo to come to their universe*

Kim Rok Soo, holding a cup of coffee: Why would I willingly subject myself to torture?

TBOAH: TO SAVE THE WORLD AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE?!?!

Kim Rok Soo, taking a sip of said cup of coffee: Sounds like a you problem

-

During the sealed test reaction

Thames: I get that you love your husbands

Thames, pointing at the screen with his hand: BUT WE DID NOT NEED THREE PAGES OF YOU SIMPING!!

-

Kim Rok Soo, watching Thames pour 12 shots of Expresso, three cans of an energy drink he doesn't recognize, and a shit ton of vodka into a glass and drink it in one gulp:

Thames: *fucking dies*

Kim Rok Soo, who just watched his new chaotic bestie die: *shrugs and goes back to doing paperwork*

TCF and TBOAH: what happened? We heard a—

OG!Cale: why the fuck is future me lying on the floor

Kim Rok Soo, not looking up from his paperwork: the caffeine finally killed him

(he's fine dw, he's got that author's fave armour)

-

Thames: Actually *insert scientific thing here* and that's how you can make a bomb with limited resources

OG!Cale: but what if we replace *ingredient* with *ingredient* wouldn't that be better

Rosalyn: Yes but it could also *more scientific things*

OG!Rosalyn: It could affect how *ingredient consequences here*

The four genius redheads: *long ass discussion that lasts hours*

TBOAH and TCF, just watching them and everytime someone speaks they look at the person making it seem like they're watching a table tennis match but it's been the same match for hours:

Kim Rok Soo, not understanding a thing they're saying, internally: I studied law not this bullshit

-

The next day

Kim Rok Soo, who just woke up: *sees Redheads with multiple white boards and blacks boards surrounding a nuke*

Kim Rok Soo, looking at TBOAH and TCF who are just staring at the redheads: How the FUCK did they build a nuke while I was asleep

-

TBOAH and TCF minus OG!Cale, Thames, Kim Rok Soo, OG!Cage, Cage, fighting:

God Of Death: How dare you question my authority! *Chains them to their seats*

OG!Cale: go fuck off you useless god

GoD: Ok <3

Thames: Where the fuck is the alcohol

GoD: Right here my child <3

Kim Rok Soo, in a bad mood because of a chapter they were reacting to:

GoD: What's wrong, do you need anything? I'll do anything for you my child 🥺🥺🥺

Cage and OG!Cage: *cursing out GoD*

GoD: my children are cursing me out 😭😭😭😭

TCF and TBOAH minus them, all having one thought: favoritism

[zeezu-ix]

HII so im starting my own au pretty soon and i want to make a side blog myself but i have NO idea where to start :[ i wanted to ask how did you get started on your au??

i absolutely love the triple stars au and how you have it organized n stuff so I HOPE THIS ISNT A BOTHER JUST A QUESTION SO I HAVE AN IDEA ON WHAT TO DO 😭😭

NOT A BOTHER AT ALL DW!! im gonna be so real im insanely bad at explaining things but fuck it we ball

putting this under a read more because i ramble on for a bit,,

honestly the entire reason i made a side blog for triple stars was because i was too nervous to share more about it on this blog LMAO!! i think this was the right call though, i know for a fact i wouldn't have posted this much if it was on my main. took me like 3 months to even start posting about it wough!!

but as for how i started triple stars, GOOGLE DOCS HELLO!

at first i didn't have a super clear idea for the story so i stuck to establishing characters n their roles in the au and only then moved to thinking about plot and how i want to connect the key characters.

I HAD SOME. THINGS I KNEW FOR SURE, like Eggman being their band manager and a huge dick to them but i wasn't certain on other details like whether Triple S knew eachother before working with Eggman or not and stuff like that

Since i was still figuring things out i quite literally wrote down everything that came to mind. MAJORITY OF MY NOTES LOOK LIKE THIS ABSJHFD. essentially just arguing with myself until something clicks.

Since this doc was solely for me to brainstorm i did not make it organised at ALL LMAO. this thing is a 20 page mess just full of notes but it helped a TON.

anyways!! I had a rough plot line eventually and god. DESIGNS.

took me forever to get round to drawing them (for some reason everytime i tried to draw triple s it just looked. so bad. the universe was against this au for a while).

my thought process for designs in triple stars really just boils down to what clothes i think they'd wear and thats about it IM SO SORRY ABDJFH. still dont know why i gave Silver a tie but it worked out. OH BUT making pinterest boards for inspiration was a HUGE help!! really do reccomend just scouring for a bunch of refs and playing dress up with them.

honestly not sure what else to write here but if you have any more questions im up to answering em!!!

[murmel-malt]

gotta admit, i'm coping with the general sadness of the hedaera verse by thinking of her fleeing with a dragon + saera telling jaehaerys to fuck off when he tries to get her back

It is a bit sad/depressing in the beginning I admit (there’s a reason the Vizzy/Daera plot is labeled ‘the bad timeline’ in my google doc), but it’ll get better (or at least less sad), I promise.

Daera just fucking off when she somehow gets her hands on a dragon has definitely crossed my mind too. She would have left, no looking back, no second thoughts, just ‘poof’ gone one day, heading straight for Volantis. ‘Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a 3rd grader on a sentient nuke running away from having to marry her brother!’

She bonds with her aunt over how shitty Jaehaerys is and just goes into witness protection as one of Saera's bastards. Alysanne keeps writing her letters and for once her daughter is curious enough to actually open and read them. Of course it is just her repeating Jaehaerys’ demands of sending Hedaera back. In a less demanding and more pleading tone ofc but still. They know Daera is with her. The reports of a dragon-sighting by Volantis is pretty damning evidence.

But Saera has taken a page from the ‘Targaryen Textbook of Gaslighting’ and is just ‘idk what you are talking about. there is no princess that fled a forced marriage to her brother, who is boring and far too old for her, and is much happier with her cool aunt and cousins that don’t have a stick up their asses anywhere near Volantis. there is just me and my sons and my recently adopted daughter who is far better off here than with the family that claims to love her but would knowingly have made her life absolutely miserable. also: fuck you <3’

I mean what are they going to do?? Nothing, that’s what. The only other dragonriders at that point are two senior citizens too old to even mount their dragons, the future king that Jayjay will not risk losing and the woman he passed over, who most likely even helped Hedaera disappear.

Are they going to learn from this? Absolutely not. Are they just going to move on down the line of potential victims of their nonsense? Yes, they are. The circle just goes on and on :(

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ♕ This is gaudy as shit and I don't care. Idk. There may be inconsistencies with the story, so, sorry. I've been working on this all day. 8 pages on Google Docs so you're in for a read. Good stuff starts at page 3 (mind you, this is from Google Docs perspective.) I read, reread, rereread, rerereread, rererereread .... until I couldn't. This is a little headcanon-y and a little fic-y. It's just what I was feeling. I know you know what to do if there's anything horribly wrong. For real, though. This is so fucking long I never want to see my laptop again.

C/W ♕ Unprotected P->V, F->M & M->F Oral, M->eating his cum (sorta) from F, kinda rough sex but they like it. I'm so brain dead right now that I can't remember everything. Soft broken Hanma eventually. I like you, no shit? I like you too. Kiss kiss. Snooze snooze. Happy happy.

Funsies ♕ A link of the playlist I made while I was writing this in case anyone wants to check it out. I don't think the read will exhaust the playlist so pick any song you want and it should, theoretically work at any point?

WC ♕ 3,915 (ISH - I change things once I get it here on Tumblr, but it's around that.

♕ You'll never forget the first time you rode on the back of Hanma's bike with him.

♕ He wasn't really keen on the idea of taking you home. You weren't even his responsibility.

♕ But it was a favor for one of his captains.

♕ Hanma put his helmet on you, tightening the strap under your chin carefully so he wouldn't pinch your delicate skin.

♕ He was so pissed when he noticed how pretty your eyes were, staring so intently back into his. He had to shake himself out of the distraction.

♕ "You're not wearing a helmet, Shuji?" You asked.

♕ "This's the only one I have, obviously. And you're going to wear it, got it?" He was so adamant about that.

♕ He got you settled in the helmet and threw his leg over his bike. Looking at you impatiently, waiting for you to get on, he put his hand out and you took it.

♕ You hopped on behind him and wrapped your arms around his straight waistline. And you're not sure if your heart skipped a beat because you were so nervous about being on the back of a motorcycle with him for the first time or if it was how you felt with your cheek pressed to his back

♕ He also noticed how nice your arms felt wrapped around him. He turned his head before he took off and told you you'd better hold on tighter, he doesn't drive like a 30 year old.

♕ Hanma thought he turned his head enough from your line of vision before he smiled. But you saw it.

♕ So you did what he asked and squeezed him tighter, pressing your chest harder against his back.

♕ He started the engine and the vibrations sent shockwaves throughout your cunt body like you've never experienced.

♕ Both you and Hanma thought it wasn't possible for you to get any closer to him, but you both somehow managed to impress the other.

♕ He was at a stoplight about 3 blocks from your house and he reached back to give your thigh a little pat.

♕ "Hold on to me, hana. I'm gonna go like hell when I see that light turn green."

♕ His hand stayed on your thigh even after he took off. Stayed there for so long, actually, that you were getting concerned about the upcoming turn in the road. But he pulled his hand forward just in time to take it with ease.

♕ The wind against your face that carried his scent - which you could NOT place, (Sandlewood? Cedar? It was DELICIOUS to say the least) was starting to make you feel drunk.

♕ You could just barely hear the music playing through the small (but strangely loud) speakers --- Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away), Deftones. You had heard the song before and liked it but now it held a certain heaviness over you. Everything about this moment felt right. The night was warm. The stars were out.

♕ How the fuck had you not realized this before?

♕ Hanma is ... he's fucking sexy.

♕ He pulled up to your place and he stopped the bike, letting it idle while sitting in your driveway.

♕ "Ok, you have arrived at your destination. You're welcome, for the ride of your life." He seemed a little more lighthearted now than when he first was roped into taking you home.

♕ "Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Um, thanks. Do you - maybe ... want some ..." you just couldn't fucking talk. He looked so handsome in the soft yellow lights that lined the street.

♕ "You got some food? I could eat, yeah." He kicked the bike stand out and turned it off and reached up to remove his helmet from your head.

♕ If he missed the blush that washed over your face he'd have to be a blind man. But you noticed a faint smile on him, too. So you think he caught it.

♕ "What do you feel like? I just went shopping and I'm fully stocked." You stood with your back to him, he was in the living room looking around at the shit you had all over your walls. Weird art that made him feel things. Stuff he's never thought himself capable of feeling - not bad things, either. But new things.

♕ And you felt comfortable with all of this. Knowing he was in another room than you. Except, he wasn't in the living room anymore. He was right fucking behind you. You stopped to look up into the cupboard you stood in front of to see what was there, if it was easy and quick to fix up.

♕ He reached out and traced the curve of your waist and leaned in, putting his face to the back of your head. "You going to feed me, y/n?"

♕ Your first thought was who's going to perform CPR on your right now because you're about to die. His breath was so hot on the back of your neck you were able to document the time that your heart actually stopped beating for a second.

♕ Hanma put his hands on your shoulders and ran them down your arms. When he got to your wrists, he pulled them behind your back more roughly than you've ever been touched by any man before.

♕ And he's so much taller than you, so he has to bend over so he can talk right into your ear.

♕ "I'm sure it's ready for me to eat right now. Not much prep is going to be required. I guess, in a way, you could almost call it fast food?" He yanked you so you were standing up straight and your back was flush with his front.

♕ You didn't know what to do with your hands so you just left them where he placed them. He had his free hand back on your waist, squeezing and exploring.

♕ "I don't think I've ever wanted something so bad as I do right now, hana." He said, letting his fingers dip lower and lower. You threw your head back and it fit into the dip between his neck and shoulder.

♕ You couldn't help but think he was such a fucking gentleman, waiting for your permission before he took anything. You leaned back against his chest and turned your head to kiss him. "Then take ... take it. Take what you want, Shuji. Take it all."

♕ Hanma's hand went back up to your throat and squeezed just enough to make you gasp.

♕ He leaned around and pressed his mouth to the corners of your lips, teasing you into giving yourself fully over to the kiss and sliding his tongue down your jawline to your neck. Ending up at your ear once more.

♕ "Good girl, hana. You're so wet for me right now, I can fucking smell it. Tell me what you want me to take. Hm? You want me to take you? You're going to be so good for me. Or maybe not? Maybe you're just going to be a nasty ... little ... bitch. I think I'd like to see that. This sweet girl act you put on. I've seen you walking around like you're just the best thing around here. Well? You going to prove that to me, hana? Huh?" He said, his voice dropping an octave as he ran his hand down your stomach and dipped his fingers into your panties.

♕ He moaned into your ear, "Oh fuck, hana. You're dripping for me. I'm going to fucking ruin you."

♕ He turned you around more roughly than he had to and hoisted you onto the counter, yanking your pants down and kneeling down before you, inhaling your scent. Deeply.

♕ Hanma looked up at you with such fire in his eyes, you couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. He traced his finger over your pussy, feeling your wetness before leaning forward and dragging his tongue over the same invisible line his finger forged on your trembling skin.

♕ You arched your back and gasped as he brushed his lips against your thighs. You could feel how heavy his breathing had gotten. He pushed one finger passed your folds, then two, and you could feel yourself tightening around him.

♕ "Shu, f-fuck. Please, I need ... I need ..."

♕ He looked up at you with his eyebrows raised. "What do you need, hana. Use your words."

♕ You reached down and grabbed him by the ears, pulling him up to your face. "I ... fuck me, Shuji." You kissed him, tasting yourself on him.

♕ Hanma didn't waste a second. He pulled you off the counter and dragged you into your bedroom. You turned around and yanked at his belt buckle, pulling it from the loops all at once and threw it across the room, unzipping his pants and pulling them down.

♕ He leaned you over the bed, spreading your legs and reaching up to squeeze your ass. You looked back at him, wanting him to fill you up.

♕ Hanma rubbed his tip up and down your slit, teasing you. "Shuji just ... just fuck me."

♕ You were so whiny and needy. It was making him so hard. He wanted to fuck you right then and there. To give you what you were so desperately and metaphorically, on your knees for.

♕ But the sadist in him, found it hard to acknowledge your pleas so soon. He didn't want you to work for this, per se. But he wanted to make good and damn sure you wanted him as much as he wanted you. So what if he had to deny himself instant gratification. The look on your sweet, flushed face was already worth having to drag this out.

♕ "You've been so good for me, hana. I'm going to give you exactly what you need. But I don't want you to come too soon." He said, smirking as he pulled you back to your feet and turned you around, pressing his hands into your shoulders until you were on your knees.

♕ Hanma reached down and pulled his cock out of his boxers and he patted your chin a few times. Urging your mouth to open so he could slap it on your tongue before pushing his tip into your mouth. You let him guide you as you took him down your throat. He kept his eyes on you, watching as you struggled to take him all the way in.

♕ "Fuck, y/n. Look at you. Taking me like a good little slut. I knew you were going to act like a little bitch in heat. Choking down my cock like that." He praised you through gritted teeth. Despite sounding so volatile, it made you feel so good to be used by him this way.

♕ He pulled out of your mouth and pushed you back onto the bed, flipping you over onto your stomach. He pulled your hips up and guided his tip into you, slowly pushing himself in until he was all the way inside you.

♕ Hanma held himself there for a minute, feeling you tighten around him. He started moving again, in and out of you.

♕ You felt like you were on the edge of an orgasm with every thrust. The disgusting way he used you for his own pleasure and the way he spoke to you was driving you mad.

♕ "Shuji, fuck ... I'm gonna cum."

♕ He pulled out and turned you onto your back. He spread your legs apart and leaned over you, pushing himself back inside you and pressing his lips to yours.

♕ "Yeah? How close? How close are you?" He dragged his teeth over your ear and on down to your visibly beating pulse point and left a purple mark in his wake. You clenched up around his cock so hard when he did this that he had to stop moving and pull himself together. "Fuck! Hana! Keep that shit up and this is over. I'm fucking finished."

♕ He thrust into you harder, his balls slapping against your ass wasn't helping you hold off cumming all over him. You felt your orgasm building up inside you. You reached down to rub your clit, but he saw where your fingers were aiming and he brushed your hand aside and started rubbing soft circles on it for you. It made you moan - the most whorish, slutty sound you have ever let out.

♕ It was out of your control at this point. His dick pounding inside of you, hitting all the right spots at all the right times was making you more cock-drunk than you have ever felt. If you could even consider yourself aware of anything other than his golden eyes burning holes into yours and the rise and fall of his hips against your spread legs.

♕ Your cunt swallowed his cock so perfectly. The thought crossed your mind that you were made for each other. But that's ridiculous. Hanma hates you. Right? He didn't even want to take you home. So why, then, is he balls deep inside of you right now. Don't fucking ask, you thought to yourself. Doing any and every little thing you could to stave off your imminent crash.

♕ He could see your eyes start to roll back and he knew what was happening. He pressed his thumb harder against your clit and started circling it faster.

♕ "Cum for me, hana. Show me how much you wanted this, how much you wanted my cock inside of you." He sucked on your nipple as he fucked you. Balancing over you on his left hand, his right hand still trifling with your pulsing clit. You tried to buck up against him for any extra stimulation but he only pulled back. "Aht! I make you cum. You ... you let me. Understand, hana? I ... make ... you ... cum." He growled through his clenched jaw directly into your ear. Punctuating each word with driving his hips harder and harder against you.

♕ You couldn't hold it in anymore. You came so hard and you didn't even care that he was watching you so closely. You let your body relax and gave in to the moment. You'd pretty much checked out mentally, but whatever connection remained between your brain and your body was otherworldly. You felt his cock sliding in and out of your soaked cunt. It was so thick and long. Nothing like you imagined it would be by just looking at his tall, thin frame. (But aren't those guys always the wildcard?) It was all you could focus on.

♕ Hanma was ready to cum, too. He pulled out of you and turned you over onto your stomach again. He slapped his wet cock against your ass before pushing back into your pussy, making you moan into the sheets.

♕ You were still twitching against him. As close as he was to blowing his sticky load of cum inside of you, as hard as his cock was twitching, he was so transfixed by how you felt around him. So fucking hot. So fucking soft. So fucking beautiful. Like a goddamn flower. Your pussy made him think of the most beautiful flower and nothing would ever change his mind about that. (And he would never figure out why - but he wondered if it had to do with the weird art in your living room).

♕ "Fuck, hana. Fuck!Fuck!Fuck! You want me to cum inside this pussy? Want me to cum in my pussy, huh? Yeah? Fuck, cumming so fuck- hard, holy shit. Fuck!" Hanma came with such force, you could feel his cum pouring into you. And soon after, seeping out of you from around his cock still inside of your stretched hole. He collapsed on top of you, both of you breathing heavily. He didn't want to move, not yet.

♕ And he felt like it should bother him that he was still here with you. Still, physically, a part of you, as much as you were a part of him. But he couldn't think of a single reason why he should leave. Let alone why he'd want to leave.

♕ "Shu, you ... I ... well," you tried to speak but couldn't form a coherent thought just yet. "Um," it was useless. You couldn't think. So you just laid there underneath him. Feeling more and more empty with each passing second as the sadness of this being over filled you instead feeling full from Hanma. It was not a good placeholder for him. It was not feeling nearly as good as he did. And you felt like crying.

♕ Whether because it was just too much for you or it was just nothing to him. What if it were both? Shit. You're starting to cry.

♕ He felt you tremble underneath him and he rolled off of you, turning you over to face him.

♕ "Hey, what's wrong? Hana? Look at me, now. Did I hurt you? Did I do something?" He looked more concerned that irritated. And that's probably what surprised you the most. You tried to hide your face, but he grabbed your chin and pulled you back.

♕ "No, it's ... it's nothing. I just ... it was too much. You were too good." You said, laughing hard through the tears, wholly embarrassed by your generous assessment.

♕ "Oh, what now?" Hanma smiled and kissed you on the forehead. He reached down and grabbed your hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. "You say I was too good? Were you even here? I mean ... I guess it's impossible for you to feel yourself. But, I guess ... I guess I'm only as good as who I'm with? And, hana," he cupped your face in his rough, slightly grease stained and scarred hand, "you were good, too."

♕ You laughed again, shaking your head. "Don't ... don't be nice to me. I can't handle it. And that's not even ... you don't have to say that to me. I know you don't like me. You can't fucking stand me. I knew all of this when I asked your captain to make you give me a ride. How embarrassing is that. I fucking am so pathetic sometimes." You rubbed your eyes with the heel of your palm. "God. You can go. You don't have to stay. It's alright. I'm ... I'll be ... fine. I always am."

♕ Hanma sat up on his elbow, looking down at you with his brow furrowed. "Hana. I can't believe you're this stupid." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked out into the hallway.

♕ "Shuji! Who the fuck is Hana? And why do you keep calling me that? My name is-" great, now you look sad and insane.

♕ "Chill, crazy. Hana means blossom. And I think, ffffuck. Ithinkyou'reprettylikeaflowerplusyourpussyispretty." His words ran together but you heard every single separate syllable. You're pretty sure you fell in love with him a little bit, too. The fucker.

♕ He leaned over you again, pressing his lips to yours. You moaned against his mouth and reached to grab his cock, but he stopped you. "No. I wanna make you feel good. It's your turn." He kissed your neck and made his way down to your pussy, licking up his own cum that had dripped out of you. You bucked your hips up into his face, reaching down to grab a fistful of his hair.

♕ He looked up at you with wide eyes, smirking. "Hold on, hana. I got you." He sucked your clit between his lips, pressing his tongue against it and making you cry out in pleasure. He pushed two fingers into your pussy and started pumping them in and out of you, hitting your g-spot while he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue.

♕ "Fuck, Shu! Fuck me!" You screamed.

♕ He looked up at you with his eyelids still heavy. "That's what I'm trying to do, baby." He said, chuckling. "Just this time, it's with my mouth. Ok? So sit back and enjoy the ride." He leaned back down and continued sucking and licking and pumping you until you couldn't hold on anymore. You came for him, all over his face. And he didn't seem to mind one bit.

♕ He crawled up to you and laid beside you again. You looked over at him and smiled. "You're such an asshole. But I kind of like you."

♕ He leaned over and kissed you, letting you taste yourself on him. Again. "No shit? I've liked you for a while. But I ... hell, I don't know. I guess I thought you were too good for me or something." He put his head against your chest, subconsciously counting the heartbeats coming from your body. "That's usually what people tell me. The guys and stuff. They always give me shit about anyone I like. Except ... except for you. They respect you."

♕ You nodded slowly, spacing out on the chunk of blond hair above his forehead. "Yeah, it helps having a cousin who's a captain. But Shuji, I do. I really do like you. I just wanted you to know that."

♕ Hanma looked up at you with a softness in his eyes you had never seen before. "I know, hana. I know." He kissed you again, pulling the sheet over both of you. He didn't want you to see him get worked up. Not over you. Not emotionally. Not just yet. But he was pretty sure he was starting to fall in love with you. And that was just something he wasn't prepared for. Though he'd have to face up to it. Sooner, rather than later, he thought.

♕ He turned over onto his back and let you snuggle up next to him, throwing your arm over his chest. He closed his eyes, thinking about how much he'd like to do this again. Just like this. Just you.

♕ You reached over and turned off the lamp, laying your head against his chest and simply being in the darkened room with him. It was so easy, you thought. And you hoped it would always be that way, though you knew better than to believe that. Because Hanma was a very complicated man on the outside and inside. And you wanted to be the one who could be there to understand him. The one who could get to know him. The one who could make him laugh and cry and feel any and everything he ever wanted to feel. You wanted to be the one who'd be there to listen to anything he had to say. Softly spoken or screamed out.

♕ And that's all you wanted. To be there for him. And with him. And with him.

♕ "Good night, little hana." He said, pulling you tighter against him.

♕ "Good night, beautiful Shuji." You smiled in the darkness and drifted off to sleep.

♕ And you didn't care how much you'd regret saying it or how much you'd try to deny it. It was true. You were in love with him. And you knew it would be some time before he could admit he felt the same way. But you would give him whatever amount of time he needed.

♕ He hoped he would be worth it. Hanma wasn't necessarily a good man. He has never been called a good man. Never has he ever really felt like one.

♕ But he heard you talking to him in the morning before you got out of bed to fix the coffee. Telling him how you'd be there for him as best you could. No matter what.

♕ He thought to himself that he hoped he'd never disappoint you. No matter what.

Taglist ::: @katkitkats @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @viburnt @kazutora-kurokawa

[voonydapunk69420]

The Shadows Take Family.

(Warning, this is an alternate universe horror story for Alan Wake 2. I wrote this and originally posted it in a google doc in the Remedy discord. My mutuals should all add me on discord I like talking about Alan Wake and nerd stuff on there.) "FBC Investigation Department Steven Yoke reporting in, Code 7721, More shadows have appeared, and I was sent to investigate." The agent spoke into the ham radio he had in his cabin.It was lit up like a christmas tree and unable to be invaded by the taken. Truthfully the taken were the least of his worries, he killed at least 3 of them when he had gotten here, using a flashlight and a suppressed HK USP to avoid any loud noises alerting the townsfolk. His fears weren’t about the Koskela’s or the taken but instead the cult. Steve though hadn't heard anything recently from the cult of the trees. Just some chatter that a possible leader in their organization had disappeared and was suspected to have become one of the taken. His suspects as to who were short in numbers, Blum, Ilmo, Jaako, Rose, fucking Pat Maine for all he knew. This town wasn't his favorite place to be stationed, the only good thing was the coffee, and even that seemed to be getting worse every time he was there. He would hear something outside of his cabin, a voice corrupted but recognizable from the advertisements in town, a leader in the two towns of Watery and Bright Falls. "And AlL BeCause of your SHIT COFFEE!" An originally humorous line corrupted by the Dark Presence taking him. It was Ilmo Koskela. "They got Ilmo Koskela, the shadows got Ilmo Koskela this is not a drill." He said grabbing his flashlight and gun getting ready to take out the taken, the broken deer mask half resting on Ilmo's face as Steven stepped out. "FBC FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!" He said but before he could shoot, clonk, he was knocked out by something else from behind, he was dragged to the lake. MIA isn't too bad for a man who's probably never able to retire. He would still be reaching for his side arm besides the suppressed pistol, it was a Gen 2 Glock 35 which had a flashlight equipped to it. Before he could even try to shoot the taken though something else had happened. Ilmo and the Taken that trapped the agent both tried to drag him into the water, Ilmo quoting his ads some more. "It's not a-moosing!" As he was speaking more, and more getting close to the lake a powerful light was shown on the two, his brother Jaako wouldn't let him be corrupted for long, Two shots from a pump action shotgun rang out. Jaako got ready for the ritual to kill the taken. "I'm sorry brother." Jaako said as he grabbed the knife and drove it into his brother's chest slowly carving out his heart. It was the ritual, it was something Jaako hated doing to those he knew. But now they weren’t the locals, they were monsters. It sickened him that this was needing to happen but he understood why. "We watch from the trees, We fight the shadows!" The other cult members chanted as they took the heart out and placed it down on the table, pulling out a page of Hemingway's writing and replacing it with one from Rose about the brother dying a death to a cult. They put the clicker in the hole in his chest and clicked. Soon after they got ready for the next one, Jaako was still heart broken. All he hoped was that this would give his brother the rest he deserved.