#fuck yeah cheat da system

[2000s-music-tourney]

Here are the entries to the 2000s tourney:

Pokerface by Lady Gaga

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Toxic by Britney Spears

Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne

All my Life by Foo Fighters

American Idiot by Green Day

1985 by Bowling for Soup

Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand

Somebody Told Me by the Killers

Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees

Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz

Sugar we're goin down by Fallout Boy

Brave as a noun by AJJ

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) by Beyonce

The Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine

Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down

She Hates Me by Puddle Of Mudd

Stacy's Mom by Fountains for Wayne

All the Small Things By Blink 182

Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Hurt by Johnny Cash

Hey Ya by Outkast

Rehab by Amy Winehouse

Stan by Eminem

Do you realize by The Flaming Lips

Sexyback by Justin Timberlake

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) by Train

Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Fireflies by Owl City

TiK ToK by Ke$ha

Gives you Hell by All American Rejects

Paper Planes by M.I.A.

Can't get you out of my head by Kylie Monogue

I write sins not tragedies by Panic! At the Disco

Short Skirt/Long Jacket by CAKE

Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Bring Me to Life by Evanescence

Before he cheats by Carrie Underwood

Vida La Vida by Coldplay

Photograph by Nickelback

99 Problems by Jay-Z

Hash Pipe by Weezer

A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

Love Story by Taylor Swift

Unwell by MatchBox Twenty

Yeah! by Usher

Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

My Hips Don't Lie by Shakira

I gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani

Watcha Say by Jason Derulo

Drop it like it's Hot by Snoop Dogg

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

Numb by Linkin Park

Umbrella by Rihanna

Crazy in Love by Beyonce and Jay Z

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Get the Party Started by P!nk

Survivor By Destiny's Child

Everytime we touch by Cascada

Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston

Bad day by Daniel Powter

Chop Suey By System of a Down

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk

Chewing Gum by Annie

Lollipop by Mika

It's gonna be Me By Nsync

Low by Flo Rida

Fuck the pain away by Peaches

Misery Business by Paramore

It's my life by Bon Jovi

The Past Is a Grotesque Animal by Of Montreal

Work It by Missy Elliott

Butterfly by Crazy Town

Caramelldansen by Caramell

In da Club by 50 Cent

4 minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake

White Flag by Dido

Beautiful Day by U2

Fallin by Alicia Keys

All for you by Janet Jackson

Bootylicious by Destiny's Child

This Love by Maroon 5

Milkshake by Kelis

Smooth Criminal by alien Ant Farm

I'm a Believer by Smash Mouth

Sandstorm by Darude

I believe in a thing called love by the darkness

Float On by Modest Mouse

[roboromantic]

hm so the nurse gave me an rx for one month of t which I got, then once I did the bloodwork she sent in another one w/1 refill. I got a message saying I could pick up this rx too even though it's been like. 1 week since I filled the first one

so yesterday I went over to see if I could in fact just grab it now and yeah, it seems that since it was a different rx I could (and did) just go ahead and fill it then. (The 3rd month's worth I can't get until next month, but that's still a month before I'd actually need it)

then today I got a text from cvs saying "hey you still have one refill for your t prescription, want us to fill it?" and given that

I tried and failed to have it sent elsewhere, so I kinda would HAVE to have it filled there

I can actually log in to their desktop site for fucking once to order the refill

cvs always interprets the rx as being for 2 months' worth for whatever reason (which is why I had enough to be able to wait this long to figure out how to get a new rx w/o insurance [and actually still have ~half a pump left from that, so I have a total of 2.5 months' worth of t on me])

I can use the goodrx gold free trial to fill this for slightly less than what I just paid for the 2 months I already have I was overly optimistic, they are in fact pricing it as a two month supply which means I'm gonna have to pay $194 instead of $94 😔🤡😔🤡😔

and post-hysto I would absolutely like to continue to have some extra Just In Case

I will probably just. go ahead n at least try to get it filled. It means I'm gonna have spent WAAAAY more this month than I woulda liked but also I can afford it, and the sense of security I'll get from having reserves is absolutely 💯% worth it

[phcking-detective]

Love Letter

Gavin compares the handwriting on the signed confession form of Detroit's latest—and now, thanks to him and Nines, former—serial killer to the handwritten note slid under his apartment door.

The g's don't fucking match. The a's look different too, and it's not just in the creep's signature. He had to write out where he'd buried the last three men to get a plea deal with the DA, so Gavin's got plenty to compare.

Technically, he could have faked his handwriting or something for the note, and none of this would be admissible in court, and he's serving life anyway so it's not like he'll come back after Gavin or anything.  The detective doesn't even especially fit the profile of the other victims—he's masc4masc, not a twink, thank you very much—but someone had to have sent that note.

Fuck it. He'll stop being a big stubborn baby about it and take it to Nines. Let the android hack the security cameras in his apartment complex or something.

"Hey."

Gavin hops up to sit on the counter while Nines waits in front of the coffee machine. They've got the room to themselves, so he holds up the note. Nines simply looks over, then continues staring at the coffee maker. What, an RK model isn't curious about something?

"Do you know who sent this?" Gavin asks.

The question comes out kind of like an accusation because he is always, always an asshole in everything he does and also Nines won't even look at the paper. That shit's rare these days and instead of examining it, the android's avoiding eye contact like a cat refusing to look at a destroyed roll of toilet paper.

"Yes," Nines finally answers.

He doesn't elaborate. In fact, his LED powers down, he clasps his hands behind his back so Gavin can't see them, and he keeps staring dead straight ahead at the coffee maker like it's his long-lost cousin.

"Did you write this?" Gavin asks.

Nines pivots and walks away.

"Hey!" Gavin jumps down from the countertop and grabs his arm. "Hey, I’m talking to you, motherfucker!"

"As a criteria," Nines says. "people who have fucked your mother make up almost half the population of--"

"Yeah, yeah, fuck off."

"Yes, detective."

Nines turns again to try to leave, but Gavin hauls him back. Or maybe, technically, whatever, the android allows himself to be pulled back. Gavin waves the note at him with his free hand.

"Did you write this?"

Nines clasps his hands behind his back again and stands at military attention. "If my conduct has been inappropriate or fostered a hostile work environ--"

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Gavin interrupts.

Nines stops. His voice just cuts out, his mouth belatedly closing a half second later because he doesn't actually use it to speak. Apparently, it's "inefficient" when he has a voice box—does that mean he also has speaker? inside his throat??—and he just lip-syncs along for human comfort.

On the bright side, his LED comes back to life. Gavin doesn't give a single fuck if it's cheating, his partner is so hard to read he'll welcome all the help he can get.

But the bright side is illuminated by yellow, and that can mean anything from concentrating, to nervous, to confused, to literally just processing data. At least Gavin's dumbass was smart enough to verbally ask his partner for consent instead of just doing it. That probably would have made him leave for real.

Or reboot.

"Kiss?" Nines asks.

His head slowly cocks to the side, and Gavin mentally gives a victory whoop. He's got him curious, now he just has to reel him in.

“You said you wanted to catalog my skin and analyze my tongue, right?" He grins and steps closer. "I could kiss you."

"Kiss me."

It's hard as fuck to get a read on his partner. He sounds like he's reading a menu, all bored flat intonation. But that's literally how he always sounds. You have to pay attention to all the other little shit to figure out what's actually going on in that android processor of his.

And his LED is still yellow, not red. He hasn't tried to leave again. In fact, he's looking at Gavin's lips.

"Yeah." Gavin licks his lips just to watch the way Nines's eyes track the movement like a sighthound. "How 'bout at seven tonight?"

Nines's eyes snaps up to his own. "Clarify if that would be considered a date, detective."

Gavin grins. "Yup. I'll take you to a bar-b-que joint you'll like."

"I do not have a digestive system," Nines says.

He shows a little expression by frowning, as if Gavin forgot that little factoid. It's not that the android can't eat. Technically, he can taste, chew, and swallow. There's just not much room for it to go to after that. Only a little storage component meant to hold excess thirium to form saliva and "joint lubrication." Not big enough to hold more than a dozen bites, and Gavin will admit manually cleaning out soggy chewed food after would be pretty fucking disgusting.

"Yeah, but you can drink stuff," he replies. "They've got like, ten different sauces you can try, and their chocolate lava cake has this melted chocolate in the middle that will seriously make you deviate."

"Unlikely," Nines immediately replies like the machine snob he is. "But I suppose I should test that."

"For science," Gavin says.

"Yes." Nines looks at his mouth again. "I will have to conduct many experiments … for science."

"Baby, you can analyze me all night long."

[2ofswords]

9, 14, 17 :)

9. Do you prefer to write AUs, canon divergence, or canon-compliant fic?

That’s a difficult one! It depends on fandom, I think. I am investing most of my time in my long Hungergames AU but if I am part of a fandom I am writing pretty close to canon. Deliberate canon divergence is complicated for me because sometimes it feels like cheating (though I am not faulting anyone who uses it, it’s just for me personally!) and changing one thing to go from there can be a bit... stale if one is not careful, so I guess the choice is between AU and canon-compliance... Tbh. most of what I enjoy writing the most falls into neither category. It is either post-canon (which is neither divergent nor compliant I guess?) or vague fic that comments more on themes than action... But the last category is something I also write rarely because it needs a real stroke of inspiration. I am always a bit sceptical when reading AUs but man... a good AU can be something so beautifully amazing...  I am sorry but I just can’t decide. I think it really is about execution and I have seen some brillant work in all three of them. I am now also thinking about missing scene and how that can be kind of amazingly and smart canon divergence and... gah, all of these handling of canon can used in very interesting scenarios! But yeah, If I write I either stick to canon or just use an abstract system/theme of the fandom and change everything else up. There isn’t really an inbetween. 

14 If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

Which fandom are we talking about? If we talk about Hungergame OCs I am choosing Meena and Astrid. Both could be fun to hang out with, they have some survival skills and I think we could get along. Honorable mentions go to Coal just for being Coal (probably?), I kind of wanted to take Alon with me but I don’t trust him and also Kallix is probably friendly and useful but just a bit too extroverted to endure...  And just to talk Pathologic as well... Lara and Rubin. Again, we need some survival skills here because I cannot carry anything and having a medic actually sounds really good (not good enough to carry freaking Velenor with me in the Hungergame’s version though) and... I don’t know I trust Rubin most with my well being. (Sorry Artemy, you are great and I almost chose you but your emergency solutions are sometimes a bit too murdery. Rubin at least has the decency to wait till I am dead before he will extract my life force...) And Lara is capable as well and I want to hang out. Honorable mentions go to Eva for emotional support!   But yeah, nothing really wild here. A mix of skill and being okay to get along with are preferred over extravagant people I want to party with.

17. What fic are you most proud of?

Hm... I think I am really fucking proud about how Blank Rune is turning out but that fic isn’t done yet and I still have enough time to fuck it up. “Nur ein Spiel” (English translation: Just a game) is great as well but is kiiiind of already getting a bit overshadowed in my mind...  I love “das Glasperlenhaus” (English: The glass bead’s shack) and think that the fragmented buildup of the story, metaphorical horror and character introspection work really well together... (maybe I should actually translate this one, even if it is not part of any fandom...) I also love the new “How to play - A dramatic text in three acts” for Pathologic just for how many actual theatrical and philosophical theory I was able to cram in while still sounding like a fic and not a lecture... It just has a very unique style and I am proud of how well if works. I am sorry for going on about my fics. I think, I am still most proud of “Nur ein Spiel” since it is over 250 000 words long, finished, and I still find it really good. It just shows a lot of endurance as well and you can see my improvement as a writer in the story itself, which is a nice touch.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)

Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:

Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.

“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”

“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”

Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.

No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.

“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”

Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.

“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”

“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”

“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”

“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”

Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.

“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”

“interesting theory. how many ya got?”

“ZERO!”

They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.

“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”

Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.

“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.

OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW

IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT

THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE

KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE

AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING

SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE

AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS

AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME

AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE

AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!

AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA

AND HIBIKI IS NONE

THE

FUCKING

WISER

SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!

Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.

Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:

“i dunno”

Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.

This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.

“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”

Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.

“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”

“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”

Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.

“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”

This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.

Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:

“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”

“yeah”

Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.

Meanwhile...

“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”

“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”

“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”

“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”

“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”

“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”

“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”

“FOOD. NOW.”

Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.

“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”

“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”

Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?

“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”

“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”

“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”

“dont you have a girlfriend?”

“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”

“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”

“more friends...”

Meanwhile, a crisis develops.

Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.

She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.

“how the fuck is she even flying”

“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”

“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”

“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”

“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”

“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”

I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.

Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.

“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”

Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.

“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”

Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.

“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”

“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”

The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.

These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.

“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”

“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”

“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”

“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”

“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”

Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...

“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”

Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.

“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”

Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.

“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”

“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”

“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”

“JUST DIE ALREADY!”

“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”

“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”

“WITH PLEASURE!”

“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”

“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”

“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”

“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”

“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”

“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”

“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”

“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”

Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.

“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”

“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”

[itsmkjones]

Warning: May Come with Protection

Warning: May Come with Protection

Content: A little bit of angst with a pile of FLUFF

Request @savingpeoplepuntingthings: Hi! I was wondering if you could write a fic where reader is Dean's teen daughter and just had her first breakup with her cheating boyfriend and feels really insecure and is blaming herself so Dean comforts her. Suuuuper fluffy please. Thanks so much you're writing is amazing!!! 💘💘💘

The metal chimes hanging on the porch frame jingled as the front door slammed. The abrupt act of violence churned a fraction of the anger boiling in every deep crevice in your brain adding a fleeting relief of pleasure. You stomped up the stairs throwing an exasperated growl to the dark and empty living room. You didn’t care that the noise was embarrassingly immature. You were sick of acting mature, of shouldering the responsibility of moral obligations all the time. You reached your bedroom door, hand strangling the unsuspecting knob with brute force, retching the wooden panel behind in reckless abandon. Your bookcase shook, despite being over labored with an abundance of books. A framed mirror tapped against the wall with shock waves, a picture dislodging from its flimsy hold and fluttering the ground. Your smiling blushing face stared up at you, head tilted to the side, hair pressed on his cheek. Dejection slammed against the fury inviting an onslaught of self-deprecating thoughts to replace the blank rage. You scooped up the photo wiping away the welling tears with the back of your sleeve. Feet dragging across the floor, you threw yourself across your bed.

Pain mingling with wretched sorrow pushed at the lump in your throat. Disembodied judgments swam amidst your thoughts; teenagers cry at everything, so dramatic, so stupid... You pulled your pillow beneath your face, burrowing deeply until your nose hurt and breathing strained.

“Just this once…” You whispered as the first sob broke past your lips, “I get to be weak...”

The pillow did little to muffle your weeping and you refused to restrain as the tears rolled into unabashed bawling. A mixture of moisture slickened your face sticking to the pillow, but your chest throbbed dryly. Lost in your grief, you missed the roar of an engine thundering down the driveway and the crack of the front door opening.

“What the-” You heard your father exclaim from below. He nudged your backpack from the middle of the room with his foot. “Y/n! What did I tell you about leaving your backpack in the middle of the floor?”

You sat up desperately pushing your hair from your sticky face and trying to stifle the uneasy sobs with measured breaths. A hiccup caught a shuddering gasp combining into a strangled cry that betrayed your efforts. There was shuffle at the door.

“I better, uh,” Uncle Sam spoke softly, but sound always carried from the vent in the living room to your room, “get going.”

“Yeah, see ya man.”

There was a patter of movement from the two men coming followed by the door closing and Dean’s heavy boots hitting the steps. Your bedroom door eased open revealing your father. His brows were knit in concern as he scanned your room, his green eyes widened as they landed on your flushed face.

“Oh, hey Daddy,” You wiped a palm under your eye and into your hair in what you hoped seemed like a natural movement. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” He repeated incredulously. He moved into the room quickly tossing a glance over the space before focusing completely on you. “You look like you lose the first grade spelling bee all over again. Remember that?”

“I didn’t lose, I was robbed.” You attempted to joke offering a bright smile that disintegrated -lips spasming until they peeled open in mute grimace, nose and forehead wrinkled.

“He- hey, hey, hey…” Dean rushed to the bed taking a seat beside you. His arm instinctively wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you close. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

You twisted into his warm embrace, clutching to the familiar scent of old car leather that stained his skin and provoked a sense of safety. His hand cupped the back of your head gently, holding you in place. If the world crumbled at that very moment, there was no doubt in your mind that your Dad would keep you safe. He was your rock and it never occurred to you to keep anything from him.

“I b-broke up with T-Taylor!” You sniffled back a river of snot.

“You bro- you broke up with Taylor? You broke up with Taylor. ” He blinked down at you, slowly registering your words and correlating them with your current state. “Why? What happened? Is everything okay? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Do I need to go kill him? Y/n, tell me if I need to go kill him. I will go right back outside, get your Uncle Sam and find that sorry son of a bit-”

“Da-daddy! No!” You stopped him from leaping to his feet.

“Well what happened?” He searched your puffy bloodshot eyes. “Something must have happened.”

You gulped. The movement sent a harsh indicator that your throat was raw and tender. A shaky exhale left your lips, eyes lowering to the ground. Logically, intellectually you knew what happened wasn’t on you, but a deep ugly thread of guilt and worthlessness needled down into your core.

“I went over to surprise him ‘cause my club got cancelled and…” Your lungs shuddered. “He said I could come in through the side gate any time ‘cause his parents didn’t care, so I did and I got up to his room… just in time to see him and Alexia Brady-”

You broke off gesturing indefinitely into the air choking back the words.

“What?” Dean asked looking between your vague gesture and face urgently, “Kissing?”

You shook your head.

His features contorted, lips pressing together as he spat out the word. “Boning?”

You nodded, a puff of air bursting from your lips. “Yes! And, and I guess I made a noise or something because the next thing I know they’re both looking at me still… moving! And he’s shouting at me to “stay right there a minute” and to “hold on” “give me one more second”.”

“Are you freaking serious?” Dean looks towards the door, disgust pouring from every muscle. “He didn’t even stop?”

“No… I just turned away and started to leave. I made it to the door when he caught up to me and grabbed my arm.”

“Oh, tell me he put on some freakin’ pants…”

You shook your head slowly and Dean dropped his head against the flat of his palm.

“He said is was my fault because I wouldn’t have sex with him and that he was so horny that he couldn’t take it any more.” You wrapped your arms around yourself tightly as you replayed the scene in your head.

“That’s bullshit!” Dean gestured into the room angrily with one arm, his fist tightening on his thigh.

You smiled weakly, “That’s what I said. Then, he said something about how men have to do it or their system backs up. And I called bullshit again, so he rebutted with saying that I never care about what he wants and how he’s so nice to me all the time and I never do anything for him in return.”

“Didn’t you cook him an entire dinner once?” Dean asked as more of a fact of point than needed reminder.

“Yup.” You clipped back tight lipped. “So, I screamed at him. Something about how he should have broken up with me if he was unhappy- not cheated on me and how dare he try to freaking blame me for having sex with another girl when A. He’s never initiated sex with me and B. He’s standing there wearing nothing, but a nasty ass yellow freaking condom. Then, I told him that he should go to hell and fuck off, we’re done.”

You paused sucking in cool air. It washed over the painful thudding in your chest and eased the heat suffocating your lungs. Dean stroked your back in easy circles, taking time to slow and rub his thumb back and forth. His lips were pressed tight, muscles tight, but he kept quiet knowing you weren’t done. You shivered as you remembered the next part.

“Then, he pulled me back when I started walking away. His gross nasty business almost hitting my leg… He said that I couldn’t just break up with him ‘cause he didn’t do anything wrong and I was an uptight bitch and that I should give him a second chance. I told him to let me go and that if he didn’t do anything wrong why would he need a second chance?”

“Good point.” He praised with a thoughtful nod. “Stupid kid.”

“Then he grabbed my other arm and kinda shook me-”

“Woah, wait!” Dean turned on the bed, hands sliding over your shoulders barely touching. His eyes raked over your appearance once more searching for any indication. “Did he hit you?”

“No… Alexia came down the stairs and saw him. She said “What the hell?” and he let go. She got so freaked out that she bolted out the front door. He turned back on me before I thought to move and started getting mad at me for giving her the wrong idea and saying now he was going to be in trouble and it was all my fault…”

“That sorry son of a bitch!” Dean shot up from the bed taking a step forward. Every inch of his body was primed and ready with murderous intent. He wiped his mouth in the palm of his hand, forefinger and thumb trailing behind. “I swear to Go-”

“Daddy… hold on…” You pleaded, “I’m not done.”

“I’m sorry…” He exhaled spinning on his heel to face you. He dropped before your knees, resting his forearms on your legs and peering up into your face. “You’re right. Go on.”

“He looked so mad that I panicked. He was coming right at me with this terrifying look and… and before I knew it I punched him.” You tapped the small slope between your nose and upper lip. “Right here.”

Dean’s head dropped for a second, then he looked back up at you, a proud smile brightening his visage. “Right where I taught you.”

You nodded fighting off the urge to grin proudly and trying to maintain a doleful guilt that was better suited to the situation. “Yeah, his head snapped back and he passed out right in the middle of his kitchen. I made sure he was okay, then booked it back to here.”

Dean laughed heartily bouncing off his heels to plant a warm kiss on your forehead. “That’s my girl!”

“No, Daddy! Stop it!” Your words lost their edge as you met his delighted eyes with a matching smile. “That was bad!”

“No,” He disagreed evenly. He tucked a hair behind your ear before coming to his feet, “what’s bad is what’s about to happen to that friggin’ moron.”

A light knock interrupted the conversation. Dean spun moving out of the line of sight to your bedroom door. Sam lifted a bright red sweater out, peering into the room from under his brows with a guilty expression.

“Sam? I thought you went home.” Dean questioned.

“Hey, Y/n.” Sam smiled gently. “I found this on the driveway and thought it was yours…”

He tossed it to the white wicker chair near the vanity table. You sent him a smile that was equal parts grateful and embarrassed to be caught looking horrendously disgusting. Dean tapped Sam’s chest with the back of his hand.

“C’mon, I need you to come help me kill a kid.”

“Yeah, I heard…” Sam sunk his hands in his jeans pockets offering an apologetic grimace. “I kinda overheard your whole explanation.”

“Overheard and stuck around?” Dean pointed out.

“Okay, fine.” Sam admitted. “I was worried about Y/n! So, when I saw the sweater I eavesdropped. Are you happy?”

Dean shrugged. “I’ll be happier when we’ve made that Taylor kid’s life a living hell!”

Sam stepped in front of Dean as he stepped forward, hands raised placatingly. He glanced between you and Dean before placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, let me handle it, okay?” The corner of his lips twitched as a knowing and exceedingly confident gleam enter his eyes. “You just… stay here with Y/n.”

They exchanged a look. It was the type of look, you had learned, that silently exchanged a wealth of information that you would never be able to guess at. Dean nodded finally, slapping Sam’s shoulder.

“You got it.”

A flicker of something darkened Sam’s smile, but when he glanced at you it was the normal gentle sympathetic smile that your Uncle was known for. “See ya, Y/n. Feel better.”

“Will he be okay?” You asked as Sam disappeared.

“Sam? Yeah, it’s Taylor who’s in for it.” Dean chuckled to himself, cocking his head to the side once.

“But Uncle Sam…” You tilted your head in confusion. “He’s so nice…”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about your Uncle Sam, kiddo.” Nostalgia colored Dean’s tone. “Now, c’mon, pie is the cure to any broken heart. Let’s get you to the nearest diner!”

“I thought it was ice cream that’s suppose to help.” You teased pushing off your bed and grabbing your sweater.

Your father frowned pointing at you with emphasis as you slipped on the cardigan. “You know who says that? Pie hating lobbyist who want to see this fine country burn to the ground. Are you a part of this insane anti-pie hate propaganda who wants everything good in this world to die?”

You grinned, “Na uh, no way. Let’s go get some pie!”

You hurried to Dean, his arm outstretched to hug you close as you reached the door. “Damn right we’re gonna get some pie.”

[the-wintry-mizzenmast]

My thoughts on Mass Effect: Andromeda

My overall impression is that I enjoyed playing the game because the combat system is really smooth, and easily the best out of the Mass Effect games so far. So, yeah. A+ combat experience, lots of fun, cross-class capability and flexibility. The maps are generally very similar to Dragon Age: Inquisition with the forward stations (camps), obvious quest markers, and ability to set waypoints, only a way more massive scale as like the sprawl of Los Angeles, it is impossible to get around on foot, so you have to use your car, the Nomad. The Nomad is a vast improvement over the previous Mako, both in its capability and it’s near-indestructible handling ability. Apparently they got in some devs from the Need for Speed series to consult, and it shows. In a good way.

Despite all the griping of other reviewers, I do not feel that it’s a waste of time. It was fun, I enjoyed it. I could have enjoyed it a lot more, as there were a LOT of things that bugged me that detracted slightly from the experience. It is not the best Mass Effect game, and it is not the best BioWare game, but also probably not the worst. I don’t regret paying for it, and I think it has a lot of promise that might be fulfilled in either the DLCs or a sequel, though I feel slightly cheated because BioWare said it was supposed to be a standalone game and it’s very clearly not. 

Now more detail into the Andromeda world, spoilers ahoy for ME:A and Dragon Age: Inquisition which I’m comparing it to.

ANNOYING THINGS

I’m going to start off with the things that annoyed me, the things that I felt could be done better. They are mostly narrative related. There are a lot of other pieces out there on the internet on why they failed so hard at animation (this tumblr post is a great place to start), so I won’t get into the details.

There’s nothing new about the Andromeda galaxy. Some of that is fine, because I never really felt that Mass Effect was all that groundbreaking in terms of science fiction world building, but the original trilogy was a really good execution of already existing science fiction tropes, like battling an ancient cosmic evil, biological life vs. artificial intelligence, etc. But it is kind of disappointing when you go to a new galaxy and you still find that the aliens are humanoid bipeds with an emotional range that’s the same as humans. Like, the Angara are supposed to exceptionally emotional…but you hardly ever see anything that is NOT a human-like acceptable emotional expression. Sure, when Jaal is pissed he gets really pissed, but there is never a moment that’s, “Wow, we have different ways of emoting, and what you just did would have been totally inappropriate in our culture” or something like that. Languages are easily decoded, and the Angara even have binary gender that correlate directly with our gender binaries. Worst of all, Jaal is straight, and that blows my mind. Like, he has a preference? Really? Despite humans being literally so alien they’re from another galaxy, Jaal prefers Sara over Scott Ryder? By the time you’re going xeno it’s so far away from what is probably your standard sexuality that I have no idea what rational basis his preference would be based on, but it enrages me that Jaal is apparently straight. I’ll get back to the subject of romances a little later, but… I’ve seen more originality in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and that aired in the late 80’s to mid-90’s. The Kett are essentially biological Borg, and they’re given such a laughable “bad guy” design that I just…*throws up hands* Some of the reasons the Angara are so similar are because you want to emotionally identify with them, and there is some base level of humanness that you need in order to romance Jaal for it not to feel weird. Like, I get that it’s less skeevy-feeling to fuck something that looks like Jaal instead of an octopus or sentient slime. Okeydokes, but I feel like that more could’ve gone into making Andromeda truly creative and they really just didn’t.

Your crewmates are boring. They are just so dull. It’s not that they’re bad people, in fact you get the impression that most of them have their shit together. But they’re all…good people, and that makes them tearfully boring. They have stupid little quirks that it feels like somebody filled out a character generation sheet in a tabletop, but they’re not even as fleshed out as somebody playing a one-shot would make their characters out to be. Everyone is fundamentally a good person, and lacking the darkness or the ongoing tribulations and trials that made your crew in DA:I so interesting. I’ll go through them one by one:

CORA is a snoozefest. I find her insufferable. At first she’s kind of stand-offish because she was supposed to be the Pathfinder, which I would imagine romancing her as BroRyder really weird because of her close relationship with your father. Then she reveals herself to be some sort of Asari-aboo, in the worst sort of weeaboo fashion. She refers to herself as an Asari Commando, and worships one of the Asari Commandos on the Asari Ark, and she just comes off as one of the creepiest weeaboos ever. Couple that with her “I need people to tell me what to do” character arc, and I just…tried to avoid her as much as possible. Do the loyalty missions even do anything? I might just skip hers and see if that kills her in my new playthrough. SO BORING.

VETRA is kind of sweet, and I like her relationship with her sister Sid. She has a rough background that makes her not a Turian citizen, but it’s kind of hard to feel especially bad for her because hey, she’s got her new start in a new galaxy and all that is behind her. Great! …there’s no darkness, no moral greyness about her. Sure, I’m sure she’s involved in all sorts of shady requisitions dealings, but she doesn’t even have the interesting quirks or usefulness that is Josephine in DA:I. I relegate her to the sweet, and I like her, but not romance material.

PEEBEE is annoying as hell. She’s like the manic pixie scientist girl who just won’t shut up, and her absolute commitment phobia is just…BLEGH. She’s like that flaky friend that depends on you for everything, and once you need help she’s all “NEW PHONE WHO DIS.” I feel like she’s supposed to be the fun Asari character who’s the opposite of Liara, and that managed to include her being a million times more insufferable and annoying. She also has that “I’m not like other Asari” that bugs in the same way that people go, “I’m not like other Asians” or “I’m not like other girls” that smacks of internalized misogyny or racism and…yeah. I had a one night stand with her with my first playthrough as an Asian Sara Ryder, and that was enough, thanks. :/

LIAM is a sweet nerd. His loyalty mission was fun. I have no idea why he doesn’t like Vetra. He’s fun to have around, but he mostly seems to have his shit together. He’s a good dude, he’s got my back. …and he does nothing interesting or fun or has anything interesting in his backstory whatsoever. So he’s really into nerd stuff and takes on the duty of first contact and culture sharing with Jaal and the Angara and he fucks that one up a little…okay, anything else? Nope. Snoozefest.

JAAL is supposedly all about emotional stuff, but so often he clearly just suppresses his emotions? He’s got like…a normal sensitive guy range of human emotions and the game is trying to tell me he’s amazingly emotional and I’m all like, “No, that’s just a healthy level of human emotions, yo.” He’s probably your second most interesting romance option, but he’s still in the running for the “pretty bland” title which is not saying much. He’s got a little more to chew through in terms of the Kett/Angara revelation, and the fact that he’s seen war and a lot of death, but yeah. …good friend, great skills as squadmate. Not interesting. Also not sure why straight. SOMEBODY AT BIOWARE JUST MAKE HIM BI ALREADY.

DRACK is the most fun of all your squadmates, because he’s this ancient Krogan but he has so much left to give. He is full of humor and fun and Krogan loyalty, and HELL YES DRACK is great. I wanted more Drack in this game. I am still disappointed that they don’t let you romance Krogan or Salarian. :/ Bummer.

SUVI is also a snoozefest. So she’s a religious lesbian scientist who keeps wanting to eat things in Andromeda. There is literally nothing else about her to write home about.

GIL bothers the hell out of me. He is the only gay male romance option on your ship, and that is not cool. He’s not a squadmate, and frankly, his story arc which is his best friend, Jill, pressuring him to have a baby with her smacks of the heteronormative narrative of homosexuals being problematic because they are stealing away reproductive opportunities. That is so regressive, that it bothers me. I’m not sure if they were trying to go the “gay parenting, yay!” route, but with Sara Ryder, it just smacks of gay conversion therapy because he does end up going to his female best friend to have a baby with her. EW. WHAT THE FUCK. I am told this narrative doesn’t go away if you are romancing him as Scott Ryder, so…DOUBLE EW. WHAT THE FUCK.

Again, these are all fundmentally good people. That means there’s nothing interesting about them as characters in a Mass Effect world. It’s not like in the DA world where you have this great representation of troubled and morally grey characters (e.g. Zevran, Anders, Fenris, Cassandra, Dorian, Iron Bull, Solas), so everybody is just boring. The only exception to this is…

REYES VIDAL and thank fucking god because he single-handedly (single-voicedly, perhaps, as he’s voiced by Nicholas Boulton, who is known to us DA fans as Garrett Hawke) saved the Andromeda experience for me. He is actually interesting because he is this morally grey character trying to make the best out of a shitty starting experience in the Andromeda galaxy, and he is put into situation where he makes hard and oftentimes not squeaky-clean decisions. AND I LOVE HIM. He’s very clearly from Antiva, and the Zevran Arainai school of charm, flirtation, and bisexuality, but DAMN am I not pissed at BioWare that because he’s a supporting character and therefore never joins your crew or becomes your squadmate, your interactions with him boil down to about 20 minutes of some 90-hours of gameplay. And he cuts off your other romance pathways as well (as I discovered the hard way), so I felt kind of ripped off that I am apparently exclusive with some mafia kingpin that I’m in a long-distance relationship with. No sex scene, just a couple of make-outs and a kabe-don.

…WHAT.

If I don’t get more Reyes Vidal in a DLC I’m going to flip a table.

More dangling threads than a Project Runway disaster. There was real potential with a lot of the background plot that was going on, but NOTHING is resolved by the end of the game except for the most urgent “where we gonna live?” plotline.

Things that are dangling and aren’t even sewn up before hitting the runway are: - Ellen Ryder is still in cryo? - Who is the Benefactor and who murdered Jien Garson? What is up with the shady shit behind the Initiative anyway? - Who created the Scouge? - Are the Remnant still around? Why did they just abandon Meridian? - The Kett are still at large in the galaxy… - What caused the course deviations in intergalactic space about 300 years ago? - What’s happened to the other arks?

NOTHING IS RESOLVED. I thought I was getting a standalone game, and it’s actually a bait and switch. There are more questions raised than answered, which bodes well for a sequel, but I’m not sure if I want Bioware Montreal to be the people making this game.

Hardly any of your choices matter. I feel more rail-roaded in this game than I have in a modern BioWare game, DA2 included. At least in DA2, while Hawke had absolutely no agency in the events surrounding them, at least your choices decided who you fought against in the final battle, and there was also the very real and very common possibility of losing one of your friends. If you didn’t play your cards right, Isabela could’ve left, you could’ve given Fenris back to Danarius, you could have killed Anders, your surviving sibling could’ve died in the Deep Roads, you could have killed Merrill, you could’ve lost the allegiance of Aveline…literally the only person who can’t leave you is Varric, so it feels like a real accomplishment when you do go through the game with everyone intact. The same is somewhat true for ME2 as well, as the final mission you can potentially lose squadmates if you don’t assign them the correct tasks and have their loyalty missions. Even in DA:I you can make choices about certain characters in their arcs that change them and their interactions with other characters, as with the Cole human/spirit decision, and the choice of whether or not to work with the Qunari and whether to keep Cullen on the lyrium which both have the potential to come bite you in the ass in the Trespasser DLC. DA:I overall had more meaningful choices that affected your experience, as in the choice of mages vs. Templars, but also the end world state of your game, as in who you picked to be Divine, and the fate of the Inquisition and so on.

You are almost never asked to make a hard choice in Andromeda. There’s no equivalent of whether or not to kill Anders, of picking between Kaidan and Ashley. The closest to the former is whether to pick to side with the krogan or save the krogan over the Salarian Pathfinder, and that doesn’t seem to change the ME:A experience much. You are never asked to pick between a squadmate, and the only meaningful close choice there is the choice between Reyes Vidal and Sloane Kelly (which, let’s be honest, is a real no-brainer because Reyes in the only interesting romancable character in the entire game and Sloane Kelly is a thug through and through. It’s like, pick between this gang leader and this smooth mafia boss; yeah, this is pretty clear). Everything else is…minimal. And that’s really, really sad. I’m expecting, throughout the game, to have to make that hard call between say, whether to leave the Warden or Hawke behind in the Fade (in my first playthrough, it was a real rough one because that was a choice between Warden Alistair [who was coupled with my DA:O warden, Lyna] and Marian Hawke [who was coupled with Anders]), and while that was awful and painful, it was also GREAT. There is no equivalent in Andromeda and that makes me really sad. The stakes are just lower overall, which narratively makes for a way more boring game.

The gay options suck. This is less sucky if you are a lesbian, but if you are a gay bloke, you’re kind of out of luck. As I stated above, Gil undergoes conversion therapy to have a biological child with a woman, and your only other option is the amazing and charming space ZevranReyes Vidal whose single downside is treatment as a SECOND-CLASS ROMANCE. If you want to get the Matchmaker achievement where you romance 3 characters across 3 different playthroughs, it is currently NOT POSSIBLE to do that with male characters without having to do something hetero. That’s so not appropriate.

Aside from awkward facial expressions, the fact that there’s one face for all the Asari, and relatively shallow interactions with other NPCs, those are my major ME:A complaints.

GREAT AND AWESOME THINGS

The Nomad drives so well. I hated the Mako from the first game, and I love, love, love the Nomad now. Driving across Voeld makes me feel like Dominic Toretto in that custom Dodge Charger running from a nuclear submarine in Fast & Furious 8 good.

Reyes Vidal. I don’t need to say more here than Garrett Hawke and Zevran Arainai had a lovechild and his name is Reyes Vidal.

Combat experience is smooth as silk. Which makes the new game + more awesome because diversifying skills and quick profile switching is FUCK AWESOME. It’s kind of a pain to set up, but once you’ve got going, you’re going good.

That trope where everybody you’ve encountered in the game comes and helps you at the end of the game. That brief moment during endgame in front of the vault on Meridian where the krogan you’ve saved and Reyes Vidal and the whole damn cavalry come to assist. YESSSSSSS I love that trope so much and it hit all my happy buttons.

Jump jets. I am never going to be able to go back to a game where I can’t jump.

Movie night was cute. It was adorable.

Low grav asteroid/planet was amazing and fun. I’m really surprised it look this long to execute that. I wish it were bigger? It was smashing fun to drive around on.

Asians in space. I’m finally glad to see some goddamn Asians in space, knowing how many damn Asians exist in this world, I am so glad to finally see myself represented? One of the Asian default Sara Ryders is also super cute and we played as her and it was SO FUCKING NICE TO FINALLY SEE SOME ASIANS IN SPACE THANK YOU.

[darkvalkyria]

Arc V Episode 2 - Timeline

- 00:00 - yuzu enthusiastically narrating about yuya reinventing himself (my babies)

- 3:14 - digital miami city pans from reiji's control room reading discovery of pendulum

- 4:30 - yuya attack sequence, odd eyes orb glow - 4:50 - another yuya attack sequence, Chronomancy Magician Inverse Gearwise effect

- 5:20 - another yuya attack sequence, Astromancy Magician Horoscope Divination - 5:45 - pan out from yuya's eyes to riding odd eyes to odd eyes jumping in air and attacking - fav

- 6:00 - more odd eyes orbs & detailed 'reaction force' - 6:25 - pan up from odd eyes to yuya, yuya wins, "winner: yuya sakaki" digital board

- 6:35 - stunned silent crowd - 6:40 - "did he win?" "yeah" "whoa his blodd was boilin" - no background audio - 6:50 - slow pan up on greyed out, blurred (& confused) yuya - 7:04 - "you won! you won against Strong Ishijima for your father!" - yoko       - "it was awesome yuya!" - yuzu - 7:11 - audience appaluds along with words of encourgamenet and wonder  about pendulum, yuya egao

- 7:44 - FUCKIN CONFUSED PRECIOUS YUYA WITH THEM EYES AND CUTE FACE!! who dont know that he pendulum summoned

- 7:50 - LDS building pan and amazing drammatic reiji entering sequence with light rays and scarf in the background, reiji crossing legs

- 8:02 - pictures of goofy yuya with yuzu on screen, yuya profile including duel record

- 8:16 - reiji lower face with eyes faded out - 8:34 - yuya talking to reporters & yuya reflection in reiji's glasses - 8:52 - reiji pan from lower waist to hair - 8:59 - kids lined up in front of you show duel school; yuzu handling enrollment

- 9:30 - shuzo crying over new solid vision system - 9:45 - "as expected, big brother yuya saved You Show Duel School!" - ayu       - "yeah, everyone admires him! the pendulum summon was amazing!" -futoshi

- 10:15 - gongenzaka appears with cute shiny teeth glint adorable; ayu and futoshi push him out

- 10:49 - shuzo speech about history of You Show Duel School, kids uninterested - 11:05 - "ladies and gentlemen! welcome to my One Man Show today!" cute ass fucken gorgeous egao yuya appearance with spotlight and wink and pose honestly fuck me up

- 11:14 - yuya yuzu hippo bitch slap - 11:20 - yuya has jealous fangirls that aren't me "she's terrible for beating up Yuya-kun" "FORFEIT!!"

- 11:28 - angry yuzu pretending she's evil but she's really fucken adorable okay look at that face she's gonna kick some ass

             - "Yuya, don't go and get a big head just cuz you're a bit famous now! I'm gonna beat the tar outta you!"

- confused yuya - yuya being enthusiastic and entertaining - Miss Strong Ishijima - yuya cute egao but he gon get his ass BEAT watch and see - 12:10 - gongenzaka, futoshi, and ayu - 12:29 - clouds, river - 12:40 - yuya duel disk activation, yuya & yuzu action duel chant, yuya snap - 13:10 - yuya cute hippo summon - 13:15 - kids narrating yuya's summon - "okay! so everyone in the audience understands? then i end my turn!"

cute yuya sequence, riding hippo - 13:32 - yuzu calls an attack and looks good doing it - 13:45 - yuya's eye in split screen - 13:55 - yuzu uses an effect and looks good doing it - "resonate wave" effect, circular burst of wind across grass - yuya and hippo go flying, yuya rolls on ground - "hey this isnt the time to be sitting on your butt. you have to keep

being "cool" after you went and decided i should be the heel here." - yuzu - no background audio - fav

- 14:35 - kids chant pendulumu - "look, everyone's expecting you to do it!" - yuzu - oh look more yuya lookin fuckin adorable - yuya cute ass pose with hippo - "otanoshimi wa kore kara da!" yuya catchphrase - 14:59 - yuya's eyes - 15:17 - yuya does the thing - pretty pendulum scale set from different angle - kids, ayu, futoshi chanting pendulumu - 15:37 - shuzo, ayu, futoshi, gongenzaka, yuzu, with epic light rays on their faces

- 15:42 - "error" on duel disk, yuya pan from faaaar back with clouds and wind rustling - fav

- shocked, silent audience - 16:10, 16:24 - yuya's eyes, epic blink - "maybe it's a special move you can only pull off if you're in a pinch" - 16:30 - the greatest fucken egao in the world im telling you guys omg the egao is too powerful; smug yuya

- "now, yuzu, come on and attack me!" - 16:45 - nice action shot of shuzo - 16:55 - it's yuzu time bitches, prodigy mozart pretty summon and effect - 17:55 - "now come yuzu!" - zoom out yuya pose - yuzu attacks with prodigy mozart - air spiral across grass, yuya versus wind with jacket fluttering - "yeah! now i'm in trouble!" tries and fails pendulum summoning again - puzzled yuya face and yuya crash landing - 19:10 - yuya looks sad and cute again what a surprise - he's cute - yuzu takes his deck so kids can see pendulum monster cards - "that's not fair! did pendulum summoning even exist?!" kids accuse yuya of cheating "he really is the son of a coward"

- 19:45 - deflated sad yuya, puts head down and covers eyes with goggles - "yuya" - yuzu - 20:00 - "big brother yuya isnt a cheat! he fought Ishijima fair and square, and beat him! i thought you were amazing, bringing all those people togetherwith a single duel! i also want to have a duel like that! a duel like yours!" - tatsuya

- "yuya! doesn't it bother you that your first fan has to talk like this?!" - gongenzaka

- "my first fan?" - yuya - 20:55 - ishijima duel flashbacks - "i also... want to have a duel like that once again. in front of a large audience." - yuya

- yuya clenches fist - "you already remade yourself during that battle, into a man that doesn't run away! so do the best for your fans!" - gongenzaka

- GONGENZAKA EGAO WHY DONT WE FOCUS ON THIS MORE - all yuya's friends support him - 21:35 - yuya removes goggles - "guess an entertainer can't let down his fans, huh?" - yuzu turns to yuya and returns his deck, their hands touch - "im definitely gonna master this pendulum summoning! yuzu! gongenzaka!take me on!"

- cute drawn shot of them running off - 21:57 - game shop with darts, dartboards, and cryptic sawatari throwing themat yuya's cute ass face in a magazine

- "so i just gotta steal them?"

[argaliaofficial]

i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more 

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked. 

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs. 

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends. 

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids. 

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh 

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew. 

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol 

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever” 

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school 

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!” 

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me. 

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened. 

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal. 

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that. 

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic. 

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky. 

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

[2000s-music-tourney]

Here are the polls as well

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera - Bootylicious by Destiny's Child

Sugar we're goin down by Fallout Boy - Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Low by Flo Rida - Love Story by Taylor Swift

Get the Party Started by P!nk - I gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas

Chewing Gum by Annie - I write sins not tragedies by Panic! At the Disco

Do you realize by The Flaming Lips - Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz - Sexyback by Justin Timberlake

TiK ToK by Ke$ha - It's my life by Bon Jovi

A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton - Misery Business by Paramore

She Hates Me by Puddle Of Mudd - Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) by Beyonce

Butterfly by Crazy Town - All my Life by Foo Fighters

The Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine - Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani

Lollipop by Mika - Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk - Gives you Hell by All American Rejects

Milkshake by Kelis - My Hips Don't Lie by Shakira

Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne - Bring Me to Life by Evanescence

This Love by Maroon 5 - Stan by Eminem

Fireflies by Owl City - Fuck the pain away by Peaches

1985 by Bowling for Soup - Float On by Modest Mouse

Pokerface by Lady Gaga - 4 minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake

Fallin by Alicia Keys - Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston

It's gonna be Me By Nsync - Umbrella by Rihanna

Drop it like it's Hot by Snoop Dogg - Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland

Paper Planes by M.I.A. - Rehab by Amy Winehouse

In da Club by 50 Cent - Work It by Missy Elliott

Numb by Linkin Park - Before he cheats by Carrie Underwood

Survivor By Destiny's Child - Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Chop Suey By System of a Down - Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley - Sandstorm by Darude

White Flag by Dido - Short Skirt/Long Jacket by CAKE

Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz - Toxic by Britney Spears

Caramelldansen by Caramell - Hurt by Johnny Cash

Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers - Everytime we touch by Cascada

Watcha Say by Jason Derulo - Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus - Smooth Criminal by alien Ant Farm

I believe in a thing called love by the darkness - All the Small Things By Blink 182

Photograph by Nickelback - Hash Pipe by Weezer

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World - Stacy's Mom by Fountains for Wayne

All for you by Janet Jackson - I'm a Believer by Smash Mouth

Yeah! by Usher - Beautiful Day by U2

Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) by Train - Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

Unwell by MatchBox Twenty - Bad day by Daniel Powter

American Idiot by Green Day - Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Brave as a noun by AJJ - The Past Is a Grotesque Animal by Of Montreal

Somebody Told Me by the Killers - Crazy in Love by Beyonce and Jay Z

99 Problems by Jay-Z - How to Save a Life by The Fray

Can't get you out of my head by Kylie Monogue - Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down

Hey Ya by Outkast - Vida La Vida by Coldplay