#funny christmas 2022 gift idea

[thomasdaniel91]

It's Fine I'm Fine Everything Is Fine Christmas Tree T-Shirt

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[toruandmidori]

Put the bleak into somebody’s mid-winter this Christmas with our new range of vintage, creepy and darkly funny Christmas cards. 

Featuring photos of unnerving antique Santas and grim “festive greetings”. A cool, unique alternative to trad Christmas cards. 

Great Christmas gifts for friends and family with a warped sense of humor. 

Check out Toru and Midori’s full Christmas card range here, individual links below: 

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

YOU BETTER NOT CRY

HE’S WATCHING

HE KNOWS

[petar1989]

(via Rottweiler puppy with a Santa hat Toddler Pullover Hoodie by Petar1989)

[mediredbubble]

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This cool drawing or illustration is perfect for physical health training workout coach or instructor or trainer this winter season. This graphic art style is a great X-mas gift for boys who love dabbing through the snow on a Merry Little Christmas eve https://amzn.to/3UtP391

[johnnydany]

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[frankiecatphotography]

Cats and Books Coffee Mug - on sale!

[clobberbox]

AH, IT MUST BE ITALIAN! 

Part of our range of Christmas movie inspired ugly Christmas sweaters. Introducing our A Christmas Story inspired design! Featuring a hand drawn replica of the iconic leg lamp and a classic quote from the movie. 

Available to buy online in a range of colors at our Teepublic store: 

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[leasstories]

Lea’s advent calendar day 23 – You’re the worst

@writerthreads writing prompt for Christmas (2022), prompt 19 :

["I'm going to buy/make the worst secret Santa gift humanly possible"]

Eddie x gn!reader

TW: NSFW, fwb

WC: ≈ 0.6K

December 1986,

Your friends and you had the brilliant idea to do a Christmas Santa, and you drew none other than your not-so secret friend with benefit: Eddie Munson.

Okay maybe you would like to be in an actual relationship with him, but you are to chicken to tell him, so you are content with what you got and do not want to ruin it with your feelings.

You found funny that you drew him and so you decided to by him the worst secret Santa gift humanly possible: something sex related.

You even went as far as to go to the only Sex Toys shop in Hawkins, and you were really embarrassed when you went to the check out when the cashier had to scan the bondage harness and cuffs. You blushed from embarrassment and left the store as fast as humanly possible. You then went home and hid it under your bed, so not parents can’t find it while you rush downstairs to find wrapping paper. You quickly wrap your two gifts and hide them in your closet.

You really can’t wait to see Eddie’s face when he’ll open the gift in front of all your friends. You know how embarrassed he will be, but you really love teasing Eddie. You became friends with benefits when you started nursing his wounds after the Upside-Down events, it started when Eddie was painfully hard and needed a blowjob, you happily gave him that and then it became recurrent. You love to pleasure each other once in a while and Eddie is the god of aftercare, even after you’ve experienced BDSM things. Your well being has always come before his and you really love that about it, it doesn’t just want to have pleasure, he also wants to give you pleasure.

A few days pass and it’s finally the day of your Secret Santa with your friends, you anxiously drive to Steve Harrington’s house. Thank god it’s just a party amongst the older ones from the group, how would you have explained to the younger ones your gift?

You park on Steve’s driveway and anxiously gets out of your car; you’re wrapped gifts clutched in your hands. Steve and Robin welcome you with a huge smile and a big hug and you go sit on the living room. A few moments later, Jonathan and Nancy arrive and the it’s Eddie’s turn.

You all sit crisscross on the ground and start exchanging gifts. The person who drew you was Steve and he gifted you a VHS of the last movie you’ve been keeping rambling on for days.

It’s now your turn to give Eddie your gift and you give the two wrapped paper to him, Eddie shaking with both anxiety and impatience.

Eddie takes his sweet time opening your gift and when he finally sees what it is he quickly hides it, glaring at you.

“You’re the worst!” he exclaims.

You burst out laughing while Steve tries to see what you bought to Eddie.

In the end, no one succeeded in seeing what you bought to Eddie. Once everyone left except Eddie, Eddie led you to your bedroom.

“Now we have to try them.” Eddie says smirking right before kissing your neck.

And you and Eddie did try the bondage harness as well as the bondage cuffs on him that night and you had the best sex you’ve ever had. Eddie even discovered that he liked it when you are dominant in bed and your neighbors probably heard that the two of you had an amazing time, but you couldn’t care less.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Domestic Established Relationship Masterlist

2009, 2012, 2019, 2022 (ao3) - OliveTheHobbit

Summary: “Most people have like yearly photo books, we have this weird ass videos” - Daniel Howell, some bloopers from phil is not on fire 10.

Some of the memories they gathered along the way got fresh in their minds at the moment they decided to buy a photo album.

In celebration to Dan and Phil’s 10th anniversary.

A Day in the Life of Dan and Phil in Quarantine! (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Phil posts a Day in the Life video of a typical day in quarantine.

Baby Names - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil arguing over baby names, very domestic.

blankets, coffees and afternoon naps (ao3) - zsunsetz

Summary: Blankets, coffee and afternoon naps have become the new normal.

Coming Clean and Kisses on Screen (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Dan and Phil are finally ready to make the news of their marriage and their new family public.

Dan and Phil and DOG (ao3) - nivi_chip

Summary: It’s Phil’s birthday, and Dan gets him a gift that’s long overdue

dan buys a skirt (ao3) - baroquen

Summary: Dan is thinking about buying a skirt. Phil thinks this is a very good idea.

Doing Nothing Often Leads To The Very Best Of Something (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: based on this (x) and a lil imagine i wrote (x) and expanded on so thanks to the lovely anon who originally sent "that pic phil posted of dan for his bday i think where dan is making a funny face and theres a nearly empty wine bottle in the background hhhhh that makes my demon heart drop" and to the lovely anon who asked for more!

Forever Home (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil’s wanted a dog for as long as he can remember, and now that he and Dan are moving into their new house, it’s the perfect opportunity. But there’s just one problem: Phil’s allergic to dogs.

Home For Good (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil gets drafted for World War III. Dan and their daughter, Emily, try to maintain a normal life while Phil is away.

Let's Be Alone Together (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: There are times when Dan and Phil feel so much like a married couple, that they forget they aren’t actually married. However, neither one of them are complaining about it. (Also known as the most domestic and fluffy fic I’ve ever written).

Look what I made the birthday boy (ao3) - phandemigods

Summary: Dan made a super sweet video for Phil's 30th birthday and they decide to post it. It's just a pile of domestic fluff

Noted (ao3) - whisksandplungers

Summary: Dan liked to leave romantic notes for Phil. Most of the time, Phil loved them. And sometimes, Phil would be left staring at the note, absolutely clueless.

Share A Bed, Share A Life (ao3) - JenCollins, WordsAblaze

Summary: Having a child is a stressful, time-consuming, argument-inducing process but, naturally, Dan and Phil ride the ups and downs together, ending up just fine. Fulfilling prompts 'age changes' and 'sharing a bed' for the phandom fic fests, enjoy!

Sugar Rush (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Phil shouldn’t have had so much sugar before bed, now he’s a hyper little shit and Dan really just wants to sleep.

the stupid sushi bubble bath fic (ao3) - itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)

Summary: dip and pip cuddle and eat sushi and take a bubble bath like the nerds they are.

They Were Forever (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: While keeping everything soft and sweet their kiss quickly grew into more as Dan's hands slid their way up Phil's loose tee, pushing it up while his explored his lover's soft skin. Phil let out a gentle gasp into the younger's mouth at the feeling. Dan's touches were soft, feather light, enough to send a shiver up Phil's spine and raise goosebumps where Dan's hands had once been. ~ aka the fic where dan and phil have a casual night at home that ends with them passionately making love

Today Is For Us (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: Dan and Phil take a day for themselves in between the tour ending, planning for their premiere in Brazil and the upcoming Christmas Holidays. Lots of Fluff and a little smut.

Told You So (ao3) - flymetomanchester

Summary: Neither really care about the holiday. but when they move in together Phil can’t help but care about thanksgiving. It has to be perfect. Nothing can go wrong right?

Worth the Wait (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: It's pretty hard to stay mad at Phil, even when he's forgotten date night.

[the-fiction-witch]

Dec 15th Gingerbread Boy

Media Accused 

Character Jake Murry 

Couple Jake X Reader

Rating Sexy 

15th Of December 2022

I sat on the sofa head deep in my video games when I heard keys in the door, so I paused my game unsure who to expect given my mum wouldn't be done with work for hours and my gran was off out with friends. The door opened and I smiled at the adorable sight she hurried in from the snow in her little fake fur lined red lace up boots, thick black leggings with a pair of thermal tights over them, a sweet red plaid dress and her black button down coat with fake fur collar covered in snow, her little red knitted hat on her head so with the fur you could barely see her gave but her pink cold nose, the little knitted puffball on top of her head, her arms full of the little reusable cloth shopping bags she takes everywhere as well as her little backpack on her back. "Awwww hey, how was shopping?" I asked getting up to take some bags to the kitchen for her but the only sound that came from her honestly just sounded like Kenny from South park "uhhhhh yes?" She then tugged off her coat and he'd hat revealing her cute face "I said, it went okay. Had to substitute a few things but that's all" "Good, I missed you" I cooed giving her a hug as we unpacked the shopping "Aww I missed you too Jake" he giggled "I got us some popcorn and ice cream for the movie tonight?" "Ummm aren't you just a sweetie" I smiled "oohh it's the one with polar bears!" "Well yeah it is snowing, we are watching a Christmas movie" "Very appropriate" I smiled "oh did you manage to grab what I asked for?" "Sort of. There was an issue in the store no shampoo, no bodywashes, I couldn't get your normal one so I had to get you this little pack just for now till we can get some more" she explained handing over the small holographic bag clearly from the gift section with a bar of soap, a lofa, bottle of shampoo and shower gel. "Eh soaps soap. Thank you sweetie"

While y/n got our movie set up I went for my shower taking the little set she bought me as I was put of all my other ones, I ran myself a hot shower and climbed inside grabbing first the shampoo but I didn't bother reading the label just got myself a bunch and started rubbing it into my hair... Hu. Smells kinda odd. Sort of sugary. Maybe a lot spicy. No idea what it's meant to be but I will say it's good shampoo once I had rinsed it all out I grabbed the lofa a nice brown colour with some purple little balls on it and got a good layer of the body wash it did lather good and had that same kinda spicy sugary smell to it but I was clean so whatever honestly most of my nose was filled with y/n's sugar scrub that also lives in the shower as I could smell that lavender sugar thought the tub it's in. Once I had scubbed myself clean I grabbed my towel wrapping myself up and heading across the hall to my bedroom sitting on the bed while I got warm and dry y/n already on our bed in her PJ's and as soon as I arrived she looked at me funny "What?" "You.... Smell... Wrong" "What?" "This is not your usual scent" "Well no, I had to use that new soap you got me today" "Oh" "Yeah I did say I was completely out" "It was just unexpected. Not your usual smell" "Do I still smell nice?" "Really nice" she's smiled cuddling me closely and nuzzling into my neck "sugary, and spicy, and lovely my life gingerbread boy" "Ohhh it's gingerbread shampoo" "Yeah?" "I didn't read it I was trying to guess. But it's good shampoo I'm clean and I do smell like gingerbread" "Ummmm gingerbread boy" she giggled giving my neck and shoulders some kisses "Y/n." "Ummmm" "Y/n. You better not do what I think your gonna do" "Nom" she giggled biting my shoulder "Y/n!" "Hum?" "Excuse me?" "Um?" "Your biting me!" "Ummm hummm" she nods "I smell like gingerbread. I am not made of gingerbread" I said pushing her away and getting my PJs on climbing into bed she gave for a cuddle but I pushed her back "But.... But Jake... Don't you love me" "I do love you very much that doesn't mean you can bite me" "But you still love me?" "Very much darling. Now come on let's what our movie"

[toruandmidori]

Spread some dark, dystopian vibes this Christmas with our new range of cool, cozy and grimly funny Christmas sweaters.

Put the bleak into mid-winter with our new range, available in a range of colors and styles over at our Redbubble store. Check out the full range here, individual links below: 

HIS SANTANIC MAJESTY

OBEY OBEY OBEY

SANTA IS LORD

CONSUME

ALWAYS WATCHING

HAIL SANTA

[junebugjules]

20 december 2022

i visited your grave yesterday, to be sure none of the flowers or cards or panda figurines had blown away. mom still hasn’t ordered a gravestone, i think because it’s just hard for her to deal with it all by herself. in place of it, you have a plastic encased photo card of a screencap from The Wind Rises, which i know was one of your favorite movies. i bought a few gifts for you for christmas and wrapped them near the make-shift shrine we have for you in the house. every time i look at big panda i think of how we fought every year to see who would gift him to who, and you would always win me over by stealing him and wrapping him in some atrocious wrapping paper on christmas eve and placing him deep under the tree, hidden from my view. each time i thought it was funny because he’s so obvious to spot in such a big piece of wrapping paper. sometimes when i stare at the panda too long on my bed it fills me with such intense dread and sadness. i miss you so much, you have no idea. dad came into my room last night to talk about you. he burst into tears and begged you to come back. he sleeps a lot of the time and gazes off at dinner. this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to deal with, and i’m so sorry i wasn’t home to be with you. i miss you so intensely every day, and i’m scared of it never getting better.

[hangingfire]

Yuletide 2022

Another Yuletide fic exchange has come and gone, and now it's time for the reveals post.

First: my wonderful gift. It's the Christmas special The Bear deserves; funny, moving, sharply observed. It is, as Sydney Adamu would say, fire.

Sunday Special Author: LearnedFoot Fandom: The Bear (TV 2022) Details: Rated T, Gen, 2073 words Tags: Sydney Adamu, Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto, Richard "Richie" Jerimovich, other characters make appearances too, Friendship, Found Family, Christmas, Post-Canon Summary: The Bear stays open for Christmas.

Second: my recs list for Yuletide 2022, a work in progress. It's an eclectic bunch of stuff right now, including Stand By Me, Piranesi, 17776, Ask a Manager, and more.

And finally, my works.

Below the Waves for rueckenfigur Fandom: Polar Explorer RPF Details: Rated G, Gen, 1813 words Tags: Francis Crozier, HMS Terror, Historical, Sailing, Franklin Expedition, Ross Expedition, POV Inanimate Object Summary: "A ship can have favourites; sailors know this in their bones. And Crozier—quiet, steady, respectful—was hers." Notes: This isn't a Terror fic per se, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't heavily influenced by that show. I mean, I went and stuck a quotation from the show in the epigraph, and Lt. Little in this story maybe owes something to Matthew McNulty's portrayal in the show. In any case, my recipient had asked for a story about Francis Rawdon Moira Crozier, and after a speed-run through assorted works of nonfiction, this is where I ended up, telling his story from the point of view of his ship, HMS Terror, who still dreams of him as she lies 21 metres below the surface of Terror Bay. The title is from Heidi Berry's song of the same name, and the mood of the story is basically that song as well.

Bell, Book, and Candle for BeccaLee Fandom: Control (Video Game) x Piranesi - Susanna Clarke Details: Rated G, Gen, 1533 words Tags: Emily Pope, Original Characters, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Found Documents, case files Summary: Correspondence relating to OOP27-UE. Notes: I wasn't sure if I was going to manage to write anything other than my assignment this year, but I'd been listening to the audiobook of Piranesi while doing some long pre-holiday drives. So I went poking around the prompts and found that BeccaLee had requested both Piranesi and Control. I did very much like the idea of mashing up the House and the Oldest House, and also the idea of there being other Oldest Houses. There's not really a plot here per se; it's more of a vibe, and in particular the shared vibe of both canons that suggests something Larger and More Powerful At Work. And of course the characters from the world of Control would see Piranesi's House as something creepy at best, and outright dangerous at worst.

The Cunning of the Goose is Immeasurable; Its Mischief Infinite for Lielac Fandom: Untitled Goose Game x Piranesi - Susanna Clarke Details: Rated G, Gen, 1133 words Tags: Piranesi | Matthew Rose Sorensen, The Other | Valentine Andrew Ketterley, Goose (Untitled Goose Game), Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Prequel Summary: Entries for the Fourth Month in the Year the Albatross Came to the South-Western Halls. Notes: Lielac had requested Untitled Goose Game fic and their prompt offered a blank cheque for crossing the game over with literally anything. And, again, since I had Piranesi very much on the brain, I thought, well, why not have the Goose pay a visit to the House? What if the Goose is an agent of mischief and chaos that transcends space and time? Once the idea formed, the story practically wrote itself. I also constructed it such that it is set a month before the beginning of the novel, which averts spoilers of any significance. I'm tempted to expand on it—probably the only reason it's not longer is that I literally wrote it two days before the collection went live, and I wanted to get it done. But really both Piranesi and the Goose deserve more shenanigans together before the Goose buggers off to wherever it came from.

[johnnydany]

Chillin With My Snowmies Funny Snowmen Classic T-Shirt

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[impossiblebird]

Another year has passed on Earth; meanwhile Pluto still hasn’t completed a single rotation around the Sun since its discovery, whether it be by Newt or by Clyde William Tombaugh (those americans, they always think they discover everything 🙄). After all, Sonya’s grandmother was right in a way; Newt came back from Pluto just as young as he was when he left. The universe has a funny way to do things. To celebrate, here is one last glimpse behind the scenes of Pluto! 🪐 (or is it?)

- originally, thomas and newt were supposed to have sex on christmas night after sharing their first kiss. but this is your gift, and i know just how much ace thomas means to you and to so many others (and to dylan!), and how much he has come to mean to me as well in a way i didn’t expect, so I scratched the love-making and let thomas and newt decide themselves how to define their love and how to express it to each other, and i think it’s so much better this way 🤍

- you need to know that newt and thomas sharing earbuds and holding hands was directly inspired by your airport fic, like a lot of what i wrote here (but i don’t think it comes as a surprise, does it? i do believe this whole story of mine screams of yours. what can i say, except thank you for inspiring me)

- you may also have noticed that i dropped a specific clue for you to make you guess who i am…it was just way to tempting 😳

- the quote “gravity is matter’s response to loneliness” isn’t mine (sadly), it comes from the movie the half of it. i would definitely recommend it!

- i wrote the shotgun scene while drinking a pumpkin latte, i wrote the scene of thomas and brenda meeting and bantering at the stables while drinking eggnog, i wrote the whole christmas yule ball (until the kiss) while drinking a golden chai latte. it was a journey made of hot drinks!

- the shipwreck in which lizzy’s baby father allegedly died is a real shipwreck, that of the HMS Serpent

- you asked who delivered lizzy’s baby if thomas didn’t, and honestly? i don’t know. let’s imagine that, since the pregnancy went on for longer it happened way more smoothly and harriet, brenda and teresa were able to handle it by themselves!

- Newt positively melts when he sees actual pictures of Pluto for the first time and notices the “heart” on its surface

- i did intend brenda to be understood as trans/nb but i wasn’t sure which one to go with, so i left it to interpretation ✨ i’m so glad you enjoyed that detail!

- i made the conscious decision of writing 2022 in the past tense and 1890 in the present tense. no reason, i just thought it was funny. (and i had a tough time explaining to my beta reader that it wasn’t an error in coherence)

- newt and thomas grow old together. once they get tired of city life and retire from their jobs, they move back to the isaacs estate, turn the music studio back into stables and live a quiet and happy life

- i was extremely happy to get to write for you 💗

🥺 happiest of new years to you, my lovely santa <3

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you knew how much ace thomas meant to me?! honestly that makes me so happy to hear because i thought all their intimate scenes together were PERFECT 💛💛💛 you did an incredible job and i really appreciate you keeping in mind my love for ace thomas even though i know i didn’t mention it on my wish list <3

MY AIRPORT FIC INSPIRED YOU?! oh my god. the idea of anything of mine inspiring such a beautiful and incredible story just blows my mind…. 🥺

A CLUE?! i’ll be on the lookout for that in my next reread then 🫡

thank u for the movie rec!! with such a beautiful line i know i have go check that out asap

that sounds like a LOT of coffee santa 😳 that coffee shop was blessed with the presence of genius ;)

omg it was a REAL ship. a fun fact indeed

okay phew i’m glad they were okay without thomas there <3

AAAAAAAAAAH PLUTOS HEART. i absolutely adore it and i know newt would too. i’ve put a photo of it on the cover of the playlist of songs you suggested for this fic btw 💛

TRANS OR NB BRENDA WAS INTENDED OMFG

YOUR MIND 🤯 galaxy brain fr <3 that’s completely amazing and i am once again in Awe

THEY GO BACK TO THE ESTATE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER OMG 😭😭😭

stop do you want to make me cry MORE?! i’m so glad you were my santa and it makes me unbelievably happy to hear that YOU were happy to write for me 😭💛 i cannot thank you enough for such a beautiful story, and for going the extra mile to leave me these messages in my inbox <3 *mwah* i adore you

[thebuckblogimo]

A Christmastime memory in one take.

December 17, 2022

I'm going to mix two ideas here today: a holiday memory from my teenage years and the concept of "writing fast." I'll describe the way it was when some friends and I would shop for Christmas gifts during our high school years, while putting it all down in rapid fire. You see, I usually write these things quite deliberately--the intro one morning, the body the following morning, and the conclusion the morning after that. During that time I'm always reading and rereading my stuff to make edits.

Not today. I'm going to complete the whole thing as quickly as I can, read it over to make some tweaks, and then post it to my blog site. Let's see what happens...

I think it was during the lead-up to Christmas during my sophomore year in high school (1962-63) that I and a couple friends, Bo and Garry, took the Tireman bus downtown to do our Christmas shopping. The following year we all had our licenses, and my folks let me use the family car so the three of us could go to the Northland mall to shop.

We enjoyed shopping downtown the most. Woodward Avenue was bustling in those days. Cars and buses continuously made their way up and down the slush-covered street. People by the score entered and exited Hudson's department store; Albert's, a clothing store for young women; Woolworth's and Kresge's, the two "dime stores" on the avenue; and many more. I recall that being in the midst of all the shoppers, coming and going, made me feel as though we were in the movie "Miracle on 34th Street."

I also remember the Christmas music. Johnny Mathis' first Christmas album had been out for a few years, and we sang songs from it--"Sleigh Ride," "Silver Bells," and "Winter Wonderland"--everywhere we went. During our junior year President Kennedy was assassinated, just before Thanksgiving. Shortly thereafter, the 4 Seasons released their first Christmas album. Bo and I loved it, especially the group's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Funny how stuff like that sticks with you.

Anyway, although we shopped for gifts for our parents, our main goal was to score just the right gifts for our girlfriends. I recall walking through a revolving door out of Himelhoch's, the local chain's flagship women's department store, after having purchased a creamy white mohair sweater for my girlfriend at the time, Leslie.

Ohmygawd. She loved it. And, oh, how I loved hugging and kissing her when she wore it...especially when she also wore my favorite perfume, Jungle Gardenia. Talk about raging hormones, but I digress...

So, as I said, we were walking out of Himelhoch's when I was stopped by a short, young black guy as I approached the sidewalk. He was holding something close to his hip and stealthily exhorted me to have a look. That's when he said, "Hey, man, wanna buy a watch?" and put a sales pitch on me.

It was a man's wristwatch. With a gold band. And red jewels of some sort on the face. He told me it was worth a couple of hundred dollars but that I could have it for 20 bucks. I countered by mumbling something and bought the watch for $10. I thought I'd made one of the greatest deals of all time.

That night when I got home, not considering how my parents would react, I recall standing in front of the TV, and showing it to my Mom and Dad. I was startled by their reaction. My mother was quite upset that I had purchased what, according to her, was surely a stolen watch. My Dad just laughed, "It's a piece of junk," he said.

How could that be? I wondered. It was gold. It had red gems. They could be rubies, I thought.

On Monday I wore the watch to school. I showed it to all my friends. I bragged about the great deal I had made with a guy on Woodward.

About three weeks later, I recall sitting in a class one day taught by Sister Hilda. I was feeling bored when I looked down at my watch to check the time. That's when I noticed that the "gold" was pealing off the band and the area surrounding its face. My heart sunk.

My Dad was right. The watch was junk. After the holidays my pals and I went back downtown. We walked down Woodward to the entrance of Himelhoch's where I had originally purchased the watch. I spied the street to see if I could catch the eye of a young teenager, someone 13 or 14 years old. It didn't take long.

I approached the kid with the watched cupped in my hand at the hip, looked to my left, then to my right, and said, "Hey, man, wanna buy a watch?"

And got my $10 back.

ADDENDUM: So the above piece took me about 40 minutes to write. I went back right after knocking it out and made a few edits. I'm reasonably happy with the result. But, of course, it was a simple story, easy to write. Having reviewed it, I wonder whether I should have added a few additional details. I gave thought to including something about my late childhood friend, Brian Flanigan, who became the ace crime reporter for the Detroit Free Press. Brian could write really, really fast. Also, I considered including an anecdote about my late friend Garry that has stuck with me for all these years: We were in the women's department at the Northland Hudson's when Garry went up to a clerk and asked, "If I was the men's room, where would I be?" To which she replied, "You'd be just beyond that pillar near the escalator." (Or words to that effect.) For some reason his approach knocked me out on the spot. And I have used it hundreds of times since. Just the other day I was at Home Depot and said to a female employee, "If I was the area with cardboard packing boxes where would I be?" To which she said, "You'd be down aisle 10, near the midpoint of the store." Stupid, silly stuff like that has a tendency to stick with me. By the way, I almost always think of Garry when I ask the "Where would I be?" question. Now, let's post this thing...