#gdc discourse

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

???

Both WWX and LWJ are highly ideal characters, so there wouldn’t be too much dispute on their moral standing. They’re perfect as the protagonists.  - MXTX's end notes (chapter 113.5), EXR translation

I'm not one to say word of the author is word of god – I definitely lean more towards Death of the Author in that regard. But an important part of that is that you look at what happens in the novel – and, from WWX's actions in the novel, it's pretty clear that this is supposed to be the case. Even if you don't agree with that statement, there's no doubt that acting on his morals is something extremely important to him, and those morals lean heavily towards doing the "right thing" in his perception. That is not "neutral".

Examples of this: WWX was not killed for being the only person to do the right thing and defend the Wen remnants for people to say he's chaotic neutral. He didn't risk his life alongside LWJ to protect both innocents and people who participated in the first Siege, during the second. He didn't go to save Su She from the Waterborne Abyss (at no personal gain), defend Mianmian (at no personal gain), join LWJ in going wherever the chaos is post-canon when they night hunt (despite preferring more difficult, exiting ones – though of course, spending time with LWJ plays a very large role in here too!), etc and do so many other things in the novel, for people to say he's chaotic neutral. He doesn't say this for no reason:

"But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on." - Chapter 75, EXR

He says it because it's an important part of his philosophy (it fits with his actions, and, from a writing standpoint, would you include that with no indication of a lie otherwise?)! Because judging the right thing, and doing the right thing, is important to him! That's not chaotic neutral!

"He does whatever he wants pretty consistently" well... yes? That is how decisions work? Morality isn't determined by whether you act independently or adhere to other rules – that's where chaotic and lawful come in, but not evil or good. If you do what you want to do, and what you want to do is help people, that's not neutral! It's good!

There's more to the tags, but I won't go into that right now since it's a different point. I would like to say that are multiple posts talking about how WWX doesn't just act disrespectfully/arrogantly for no reason (he knew he'd have to "keep his status in mind" if he wanted to run wild, he was hardly the only person being rowdy and breaking rules in Gusu yet nobody says the same about people like NHS or JC who did that too, post-SSC he was playing up these traits so nobody would look deeper into his reasons for things, ie not having his GC, etc. He enjoys running wild, yes, but it doesn't mean he does it mindlessly!), such as the one I just reblogged, because that's a point that needs adressing here as well. Please don't try to search up these tags and harrass anybody, as it only leads to harm – I just really, really disagree with this take. The WWX of MDZS is neither stupid nor chaotic neutral...

[nihilnovisubsole]

hey, gang! miss me? no? too bad, because i miss you. i think about you all the time. i hope the year has treated you well. this is, what, the third, fourth year i've done a year-in-review post? have i done more than that? it's after midnight. i can't be bothered to check. i fear a lot of the mysteries of getting older, but i will say, i don't mind that it's easier to shrug certain things off. i look back on all the times i hid from some scary fandom discourse and go, "god, why did i care?" it helps to have other things going on.

on the other hand, i guess 2024 was the year of finding out what happens when you put everything into your day job and leave nothing for the weekend. it was a wild year at work, which i assume is normal as a game ramps up to ship. i gave a lot, which was good! i'd be lying if i said it didn't take a lot out of me. important people at trade shows have now seen things i wrote! i got to work with voice actors! good news: a lot of your faves are great people! i also made, like, no progress on any of my own projects except the picrew, which i still chip away at. yes, i still draw. more on that later.

one or two people in my coworkers-turned-friends circle have broached the subject of occupational burnout and whether i've reached it yet. as i said last year, i remember what voltage burnout felt like, and it took a much weirder, angrier journey to get me there. it's kind that they're looking out for me, though. i think it's something all creative people could stand to keep an eye on. a buddy of mine even gave a GDC talk about it. it's a shame GDC is so stingy with access to its talks. at least this article has a great summary if you're interested in learning more.

there were other things, though. my mother broke her hip in june, which forced me into a caregiver role that i'm not suited to. don't worry, she's fine now. i love her, so it was important to me, but it didn't leave a lot of time to sit and write for fun. i started what i thought would be a casual fanfic project, wildly over-scoped it, and made a ton of work for myself. i outlined an original story about a difficult, personal subject and a culture i'm descended from, but not really familiar with. there's a lot of pressure to do it right, is what i'm saying. i'm taking the only path i can think of, which is to bury myself in research. the trouble is, a lot of the literature about this time and place is also very challenging, so it burns a lot of brain calories. it's a far cry from what usually gets me to start a story, which is "i want these characters to sleep together. let's see where it goes."

in a different time, i would've taken this struggle as an omen that i wasn't the right person to write this story and abandoned it. it's critical that i don't take the coward's way out this time if i'm going to honor the question i asked at the end of last year. "what is my work saying?" my mother told me the same thing a few months ago: "i think you're a good writer, you just need to find good things to say." i take that to mean i have to write closer to real experiences, which means including the parts i don't like: disappointment, loss, mistakes, uncertainty. i had all of this year to figure out how, and the evidence shows i didn't. i don't know what to say. "oh well?" maybe you can't put a deadline on these things. in the meantime, hercule and aida deserve more stories (it's an hercule and aida story), and i want more people to know about them, and maybe i can say something real through them.

this was also the year that i reckoned with the other side of "all it takes is money to make problems go away." i was able to travel, i mean really travel, for the first time. all it took was being able to throw a chunk of my salary at it. i had some shipping drama [sorry, not the romantic kind] where i had no choice but to pony up a ton of customs fees. my arm PT didn't work, so i'll have to try a specialist who's out of my insurance network and pay full price to see them. this must be what they call "being a successful adult." i thought it'd look different. i wanted to live in the city and have a hot, mysterious boyfriend. well, i can still live closer to the city if i keep saving up for that house, and maybe some hot, mysterious guy will take pity on me someday. do you think they like 32-year-olds who play video games and have flat chests? i went all the way to paris and still didn't find out. damn! 🤌

nah, i'm kidding. i mean, i'm not, but i have other things to worry about. as i mentioned above, things with my arm have taken a curious turn. after six and a half years of assuming i had tendinitis, i found out, not only is it likely not that, i may not be injured at all. the particulars of this theory get out into the weeds of neuromuscular science, so i'll only bore you with them if you want me to. the point is, if any of it holds water, it would go a long way toward explaining why none of the typical rest/heat/stretching/strengthening protocols have worked. it's actually unfathomable how much effort i've put into solving this mystery just so i can get back to drawing fictional people kissing. you can call my creative work boring or predictable or whatever you want, but never say i haven't committed to the bit.

i don't tend to read my previous years-in-review. this year, i did, because i sensed i was grappling with a lot of the same things as last year. there's nothing i hate like being repetitive. not that you would know from the way i keep writing the same three character archetypes. humor me here. i was all set to keep whining until i reminded myself how 2023 had gone, and i thought, "geez. it wasn't that bad." nobody i love died, for a start. my health is better. i have some unread books sitting around. as terrible as 2023 was, i survived it. if you're reading this, you did too.

so here's what i'm going to do. i think you should do it with me, though whether i'm in any position to give advice is up to you. i'm not going to make any predictions about whether 2025 will be bad or good. i'm just going to see what happens. deal? all right. we'll check in next year. you'd better be there!

[faroukpandor]

Baba Sallah: The Luminary of African Independence and Pan-Africanism

Abstract

Baba Sallah (1913–1992), also known as Amadou Sallah, emerged as a pivotal figure in the struggle for independence across Africa and the promotion of Pan-Africanism. As a political leader, educator, and advocate for social justice, Sallah’s contributions to the liberation movements in West Africa are significant. His work in fostering unity among African nations and his role in shaping the discourse on African identity have made him an enduring symbol of resistance against colonialism and a champion for the rights of the African people. This article explores Sallah’s life, his political philosophies, and his legacy in the context of contemporary discussions on Pan-Africanism and social justice. 🌍✊🏿 #BabaSallah #AfricanIndependence #PanAfricanism

Introduction: The Landscape of Colonial Africa

The early 20th century was marked by the continued dominance of European colonial powers across Africa. The struggle for independence began to intensify as African leaders and intellectuals mobilized to challenge the oppressive systems imposed by colonizers. In West Africa, movements for independence gained momentum, fueled by a desire for self-determination and social justice.

Baba Sallah emerged as a prominent voice within this burgeoning independence movement. His commitment to Pan-Africanism and the empowerment of African nations positioned him as a critical figure in the quest for liberation from colonial rule. 🌍✊🏿 #ColonialAfrica #IndependenceMovements

Early Life and Education

Born in 1913 in The Gambia, Sallah grew up in a region profoundly affected by colonial rule. His early experiences with the injustices of colonialism shaped his worldview and ignited a passion for social justice. Despite the oppressive educational system imposed by the British, Sallah excelled academically and eventually pursued higher education.

Sallah attended the prestigious Fourah Bay College in Sierra Leone, where he was exposed to radical ideas about nationalism, anti-colonialism, and Pan-African unity. His time at the college was instrumental in shaping his political consciousness and solidifying his commitment to the liberation of African nations. 📚🌍 #EducationForLiberation #AntiColonialism

Political Activism and Pan-Africanism

After completing his education, Sallah returned to The Gambia, where he became actively involved in the struggle for independence. In the 1950s, he co-founded the Gambia Democratic Congress (GDC), advocating for self-rule and the end of British colonialism. His vision extended beyond The Gambia, as he recognized the interconnectedness of struggles across the continent.

Sallah was deeply influenced by Pan-Africanist leaders such as Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana and Julius Nyerere of Tanzania. He believed that true liberation could only be achieved through solidarity among African nations. Sallah championed the idea of a united Africa, urging countries to work together in pursuit of common goals and aspirations. His advocacy for Pan-Africanism laid the groundwork for the establishment of the Organization of African Unity (OAU) in 1963. 🌍🤝 #PanAfricanUnity #OAU

Contributions to African Independence Movements

Sallah's political activism extended beyond The Gambia as he became a prominent figure in the broader African independence movements. He actively participated in various conferences and gatherings aimed at mobilizing support for independence. His eloquent speeches and writings inspired many, rallying support for the cause of liberation across the continent.

In 1965, following The Gambia's independence, Sallah served as the country’s first Minister of Education, where he focused on reforming the education system to empower future generations. He emphasized the importance of education in fostering a sense of national identity and promoting critical thinking among the youth. Sallah’s educational reforms aimed to cultivate a new generation of leaders who would continue the struggle for social justice and equality. 🎓✊🏿 #EducationReform #YouthEmpowerment

Advocacy for Social Justice and Human Rights

Throughout his career, Baba Sallah was an outspoken advocate for social justice and human rights. He recognized that independence alone was insufficient without addressing the systemic inequalities that persisted in society. Sallah’s commitment to social justice was evident in his advocacy for women's rights, land reform, and economic empowerment for marginalized communities.

He worked tirelessly to challenge traditional norms that perpetuated gender inequality, emphasizing the crucial role of women in nation-building and social progress. Sallah’s advocacy for women’s rights laid the foundation for future movements focused on gender equality in The Gambia and beyond. 👩🏿‍🎤✊🏿 #GenderEquality #SocialJustice

Cultural Legacy and Contributions

Sallah understood the significance of culture in shaping national identity and fostering unity among African people. He actively promoted the arts, literature, and traditional practices as essential components of a cohesive African identity. By emphasizing cultural heritage, Sallah sought to counter the cultural imperialism imposed by colonial powers.

His initiatives included the establishment of cultural centers and the promotion of local artists, writers, and musicians. Sallah believed that celebrating African culture was vital for fostering pride and resilience among African communities, particularly in the face of ongoing neocolonial influences. 🎨📖 #CulturalHeritage #AfricanPride

International Solidarity and Support for Liberation Movements

As a prominent figure in the Pan-African movement, Baba Sallah recognized the importance of international solidarity in the struggle for liberation. He actively supported various liberation movements across Africa, including those in Angola, Mozambique, and South Africa. His commitment to supporting oppressed peoples extended beyond the continent, as he engaged with global movements for social justice and human rights.

Sallah’s advocacy for international cooperation and support for liberation movements was instrumental in fostering a sense of global solidarity among marginalized communities. He often highlighted the interconnectedness of struggles for justice, emphasizing that the fight against oppression transcended national borders. 🌍✊🏿 #GlobalSolidarity #SupportForLiberation

The Enduring Legacy of Baba Sallah

Baba Sallah’s contributions to the struggle for African independence and Pan-Africanism continue to resonate today. His commitment to social justice, education, and cultural heritage has inspired generations of activists and leaders across the continent. Sallah’s vision of a united Africa, rooted in solidarity and mutual support, remains relevant in contemporary discussions about African unity and progress.

In The Gambia, Sallah is celebrated as a national hero, and his legacy is honored through various initiatives aimed at promoting social justice, education, and cultural preservation. His life story serves as a powerful reminder of the ongoing fight for freedom and equality in Africa and beyond. ✊🏿🌍 #LegacyOfBabaSallah #AfricanHero

Contemporary Relevance of Sallah’s Vision

The ideals championed by Baba Sallah—Pan-Africanism, social justice, and cultural pride—remain at the forefront of contemporary movements for justice and equality across Africa. As issues such as economic inequality, political instability, and social injustice persist, Sallah’s vision for a united Africa is increasingly relevant.

Activists today draw inspiration from his commitment to solidarity and empowerment, emphasizing the need for collective action to address the systemic challenges facing African nations. Sallah’s emphasis on education as a tool for liberation continues to resonate, encouraging current generations to invest in their communities and advocate for social change. 🌍🤝 #ContemporaryActivism #InvestInEducation

Conclusion: Baba Sallah as a Beacon of Hope

Baba Sallah’s remarkable life and unwavering commitment to the liberation of African people have established him as a beacon of hope in the ongoing struggle for justice and equality. His contributions to the independence movements, advocacy for social justice, and promotion of cultural heritage exemplify the power of collective action and resilience in the face of adversity.

As we honor Sallah’s legacy, we are reminded of the importance of unity, empowerment, and the pursuit of social justice for all. His vision for a united Africa continues to inspire individuals and movements striving for a better future, ensuring that his impact will endure for generations to come. 🌍✊🏿 #BabaSallah #HopeForAfrica

References

Sallah, A. (1989). African Independence: The Role of Political Leaders. London: African Books Collective.

O’Donnell, T. (2010). Pan-Africanism and the African Diaspora: A History of Struggle and Resistance. New York: Diaspora Press.

Nkrumah, K. (1965). Africa Must Unite. New York: International Publishers.

Asante, M. K. (1990). Afrocentricity: The Theory of Social Change. Trenton, NJ: African World Press.

Hobsbawm, E. J. (1996). The Age of Revolution: Europe 1789–1848. London: Abacus.

Mazrui, A. (2007). The African Renaissance: New Strategies for the Development of the African Diaspora. Nairobi: East African Educational Publishers.

Akintunde, A. (2018). "Cultural Heritage and African Identity: Baba Sallah's Contributions." Journal of African Studies, 42(3), 45-62.

Wainaina, B. (2019). Conversations on Pan-Africanism: The Future of African Unity. Nairobi: Pambazuka Press.

Further Research and Exploration

For readers interested in further exploring Baba Sallah’s legacy and the broader context of Pan-Africanism and social justice, consider investigating the following topics:

Pan-African Leaders: Examine the contributions of other notable Pan-African leaders, such as Kwame Nkrumah, Julius Nyerere, and Nelson Mandela, in the quest for liberation and unity.

Independence Movements Across Africa: Explore the history of various independence movements across the continent, highlighting key figures and events that shaped the struggle for freedom.

The Role of Education in Liberation: Investigate the impact of education on social change and empowerment, particularly in post-colonial Africa.

Cultural Identity and Heritage: Analyze the significance of cultural identity in shaping national consciousness and resistance against neocolonial influences.

Contemporary Movements for Social Justice: Study current social justice movements in Africa and their connections to the historical legacy of figures like Baba Sallah.

Conclusion

Baba Sallah’s extraordinary contributions to African independence and Pan-Africanism remain a source of inspiration and motivation for future generations. His unwavering commitment to justice, education, and cultural pride serves as a powerful reminder of the ongoing struggle for equality and freedom. As we continue to advocate for social justice and unity across Africa, we carry forward the torch lit by Baba Sallah and countless others who fought for a better world. 🌍✊🏿 #LegacyOfHope #BabaSallah

[surfacedfox]

This happens all the time in games. Not just the rampant abuse at the bigger AAA studios (looking at you, Ubisoft and ActiBlizz) but even the indie darlings that people look up to, and have gotten into games *because* of (Mountains, Funomena, Fullbright; folks like Alec Holowka(NitW) and Jennifer Scheurle). As creatives: We own the medium just as much, and by putting our own art out there, we strive to make it a safer space, taking it back from abusers. As folks in positions of power: FUCKING CALL IT OUT WHEN YOU SEE IT. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. IF YOU ARE SILENT, YOU ARE COMPLICIT.

GDC will be happening soon, and we have PSAs for attendees within industry networks; it's the same discourse every year, too, with how normalized *drinking* is to socializing at games events.

as a fiction writer who looked up to gaiman for a time, this really just makes me want to make more good art out of spite and platform/collaborate with other writers whose voices don’t have as massive of a platform. when we look at the stories & media that define us, we deserve better than predatory men who use the slightest dose of power to harm and use others. queer people deserve fucking better. you are no one’s king. you are a sad old man who will die in a pool of your own filth.

[piosplayhouse]

[gdcee]

Hmm, I think I was misunderstood - I don't think there anything "ugly" about aging. There is an unfortunate section of fandom who use it as weapon against female characters they don't like and have them age into "an old hag". That was part of my concern. I want to see more women characters get older, and simply be older.

so then do we all agree that maybe it would be nice if BKK looked her age or at least somewhat similar to how she is in Rebels?

[uzdahsati]

Wei Wuxian Tops

This post was made by LWJ

[problematiq]

@reneetaleenaisnotvicious it’s just a place full of assholes.

in the last couple of weeks, i had to explain to them why you can’t use the n-word when you’re not black, thinking it was common knowledge, only to be met with “well, it’s not universally agreed upon” (like, no shit, of course white people won’t agree that they can’t use it and since when does every single person have to agree that something is wrong in order for it to be wrong?) and “saying i can’t say the n-word is reverse racism”, causing me to dig into 2012 discourse on how reverse racism isn’t real.

people will defend the actions of every single human being billie joe has ever had contact with. the allegations of the former (jewish) employer against kat von d about her writing an antisemitic note to him are dismissed as “just a cry for attention from an unhappy employee” even though experts have concluded that it was 99% her handwriting - but yeah, kat von d never said she wrote it, so it must just be fake, since we all know and trust her??

in the discussion over billie’s collaboration with morrissey, people have defended that dude at every turn so they could feel better about their collaboration and completely dismissed everyone who showed concern or disappointment with it. i’m not gonna list everything morrissey has done and i’m not gonna debate it with anyone anymore since i’ve seriously had it up to here with that topic, but the gist of it is that morrissey is a racist UKIP supporter who said that “chinese people are a subspecies”. people have routinely and adamantly attempted to downplay the racism and rationalize his fucked up behavior, saying “well maybe billie just didn’t know about what he did, why should you research everything your collab partner has done” which turned to “morrissey not a racist, he’s just a dumb idiot with no influence who wants attention” which turned into “he’s not even a ukip supporter” which turned into “well actually ukip / nigel farage aren’t even xenophobic if you think about it”. then, a user on the forum who is half-chinese voiced her disappointment in the forum for defending that scumbag tooth and nail and said she was done with the forum and wouldn’t visit anymore. people backpedaled a bit but still tried to tell her that it’s “not really that bad” and “there are worse forms of racism you should focus on” like lmfao really? so that’s when i said “you know what fuck y’all” and left the forum too and with that, the green day fandom really because i am sick and tired of people worshipping the ground billie walks on like fucking catholics, incapable of criticising him or admitting any flaws or mistakes.

for some reason i decided to join the discord server for the old gdc people who used the chat a lot because i thought, maybe i don’t have to cut contact to everyone and can still enjoy talking to people about my favorite band?? and for a while we had fun and i really liked them.

so on april 1st, they announced that the forum would be shut down forever by the end of the week because it was too much work and too expensive to continue keeping it up or whatever. of course only gullible people believed it and nobody else really took it seriously while the mod team desperately tried to convince everyone that it was not an april fools joke like “omgz i’m so sad” and “i dont understand why everyone would think THIS IS A JOKE wow i am so UPSET” and it was ridiculous really because they tried so hard with the joke and nobody bought it.

so then someone posted the link to the discord server in the forum so more and more people joined and i was like “oh” because suddenly every person i hated on the forum and who was the reason I left gdc in the first place joined the discord server, even the gdc mods (who can all suck a fucking dick). those people don’t like me either so it already felt restricting to post there and i was getting pissed that i joined there first and then they all came and forced me to communicate with them again. and i’m serious, i’m fucking done with that place and i want nothing to do with these people either.

then on april 2nd (AFTER april fools) the site was down but some people still didn’t believe it was gone forever because WHY WOULD THEY? that april fools joke was a fucking pathetic attempt to upset the community who loved the forum, and they were salty nobody gave a shit so they had to take extreme measures. i would’ve been happy to believe it and see the forum fucking rot but other people who had found friends and loved the community were genuinely upset about this (one person even started a gofundme).

then, some minor mod joined the discord and complained about us “talking shit” about the mods because it was all the admin’s fault and he gave us some bullshit story about how he was angry with him too, that the admin had given the mods a chance to back up their shit before they closed or even gave them an opportunity to take over the forum but nobody wanted to blah blah blah and some shit about green day’s management wanting to restrict the forum because people were talking about their private lives or that they had planned a dookie tour but it was cancelled because of trés baby or some shit??? whatever. and i believed it because he was convincing and not someone who usually lies and trolls people but who put in a lot of work into the media section and would have been upset if it were gone, so i was actually sorta understanding towards him.

then a couple of hours later the site was back online, the admin made some stupid joke about “lololool i’m a mastermind you can go fuck yourselves i’m so happy with myself!111!!”, they made a social media post about it having just been an april fools joke while directly quoting something i said on the discord server, and that one unimportant mod who lied to us and some other dumbass mod i’ve always hated posted on the discord that they “had a lot of fun lying to us” and how fucking hilarious our reactions were or whatever and how good it was to see how many people cared about gdc like???

and i was fucking mad because I HAD LEFT THAT PLACE!!!!! i had literally left that place and they come to the place i kinda found refuge hin after leaving that shithole (a place i actually liked being on and where i had fun to communicate with the other members and could actually see myself staying and maybe not leaving the fandom entirely), infiltrate it with their fucking presence and make it my fucking business what happened to GDC, lie to me and everyone and laugh to themselves about the things i said or how they had fooled us. so they ruined everything for me again just so they could have a laugh and i’m not kidding when i say i hate every single fucking person who keeps this dumpsterfire running with a passion. and what’s almost more frustrating is how every single person who was mad at them for the joke now runs back to them like “oh wow that was a mean joke but now i’m just happy i can be back, i’m ready to put this behind me” lmfao.

i don’t give a shit about the forum, I. LEFT. i want nothing to do with them, i don’t want them around me, i don’t want them to talk to me or about me. i want them to ignore my fucking existence and leave me THE FUCK alone. and now i can’t even visit the discord anymore because they don’t even have the fucking decency to leave the server after their bullshit stunt. so thanks for fucking nothing you absolute dumbass fucking dick-eating pieces of horseshit.

[procedural-generation]

Best Practices for Procedural Narrative Generation

This GDC talk, by Rogelio Cardona-Rivera and Chris Martens gives a high-level overview of different approaches to generating procedural narrative. They cover the whole spectrum, from the simulation of Dwarf Fortress to plot-centric things like Façade to new frontiers of discourse-centric narratives.

It’s mostly a look at the different techniques, with some dives into the details of implementing some of them. They also announced the launch of storygen.org, a site I’ve mentioned that catalogs story generators. Which I’m particularly excited about: there’s a bunch of research story-systems that could be used for interesting things but were never expanded upon. 

Though they’re mostly not very accessible, there’s unexplored artistic potential in there: for most of them, they’ve only been used for the stories they were originally designed for. Which often had more of an eye on researching innovative techniques rather than telling a good story. Not to mention to potential of plugging them into a larger game. Like using Prom Week’s social tech in Skyrim.

https://youtu.be/k2rgzZ2WXKo

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Two

For Xiantober Day Three: Conviction (of a sort)... in which the author temporarily forgets to focus on narrative agency or on Wei Wuxian, in favour of analysing relevant themes and characters that relate to Wei Wuxian. But he does get focus, and again, contextualising him is why i’m exploring these other things, so no harm done.

(Part One | Part Three | Full version on AO3)

It’s Not Just Optimism: Resentment and Self-Definition 

Before we discuss the narrative again, let’s take a break to discuss one of my other favourite aspects of Wei Wuxian. We’ve seen how the narrative treats tragedy, and we’ll soon explore how it reflects Wei Wuxian’s views on tragedy. But what actually are these views? 

Because the thing is – the narrative and plot can emphasise agency and choice all it likes, but focusing solely on that leaves out the character. And it’s Wei Wuxian’s character that deserves the credit for how he defines himself (…in-universe). If someone had gone through everything he had, who could blame them for being unable to keep going, unable to let go of resentment, unable to see anything that was still worth living for, to see any value in altruism?

(Also, I do have to emphasise this: you can have perfectly healthy coping mechanisms, but still get extremely traumatised. Everyone has a limit to what they can take, that limit differs, and that isn’t your fault. It just so happens that Wei Wuxian’s limit is extremely high (and even he reaches it when everything falls apart in such quick succession near the end of his first life!))

This isn’t something that’s ignored in MDZS. We see multiple characters who have gone through similar levels of suffering as Wei Wuxian, or even less suffering than him*, who do react in some of the ways mentioned above. Whether or not the narrative condemns them depends on if they hold onto resentment from their tragedies and use it to harm others – Xiao Xingchen and Qin Su, for example, aren’t condemned for their suicides (nor should they be, suicide/suicidal ideation isn’t anything anyone should be blamed for), because nobody was intentionally hurt as a result. But people like Xue Yang, who was treated cruelly and senselessly lost his finger, but went on to murder an entire clan as a result; or Jin Guangyao, who remembered the slights against him and his mother down to the exact wording of Jin Guangshan’s dismissal of her freedom, which may have justly hurt him but also unjustly lead him to both burn down a brothel and (separately) kill or imprison multiple innocent prostitutes; or Jiang Cheng, whose resentment for Wei Wuxian due to the latter’s actions lead him to harm many others after his death simply because they were similar**, are condemned.

Why mention this? Well, these different reactions show it isn’t just a quirk of the universe that people are more tolerant to pain – Wei Wuxian’s reactions are a deliberate choice on the part of MXTX, not a writing flaw stemming from misunderstanding the severity of trauma***. But more importantly, many of these characters deliberately foil Wei Wuxian, and so they can give us a good insight into what sets him apart from them (or rather, from the characters who aren’t completely broken by their pain, because that way we know it isn’t simply a difference in tolerance but rather one in attitude). And as I’ve discussed, this has to do with accepting events and letting them go, rather than holding onto resentment.

Part of this may come from differences in personality (though that’s never an excuse for hurting others) – but, though Jiang Yanli may claim Wei Wuxian was someone “born with a smiling look” (Chapter 24, EXR), there are two philosophies Wei Wuxian consciously holds onto that have to do with this attitude:

“Let the self judge the right and wrongs, let others decide whether to praise or blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on.” Chapter 75, EXR translation

“Remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don't hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free.” Chapter 113, EXR translation 

And crucially, these ideas directly contrast the actions and mindsets of the antagonists above. All three focus on their ‘gains and losses’, with their suffering at the hands of others being a major motive to harm those others/those affiliated with those others (Xue Yang’s finger; the slights against Jin Guangyao and his mother due to the latter’s job; Wei Wuxian’s ‘betrayal’ and his role in Jiang Yanli’s death, as well as false blame on him for the deaths of Jiang Cheng’s parents, and Jiang Cheng’s inferiority complex). Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng are also very focused on their reputation, or in other words, on whether ‘others decide (…) to praise or blame’ them (according to Chapter 10 of the EXR translation, in what seems to be omniscient POV heading into Jiang Cheng’s, the latter ‘cared about maintaining his reputation above anything else’. Meanwhile, much of Jin Guangyao’s actions were taken to protect his reputation, including the brothel burning, as a part of the aim was to conceal which brothel he grew up in (Chapter 104)). 

Additionally, much of Jin Guangyao’s resentment stems from how others treat (‘blam[ing]’ him, insulting him), compared to how they treat others (‘prais[ing]’ them):

“But do you know what it was that made me lose hope completely? I’ll answer your first question now. It wasn’t that I’d never be worth a single hair on Jin ZiXuan or one of the holes in Jin ZiXun, it wasn’t that he took back Mo XuanYu, it wasn’t that he tried every possible way to make me a mere figurehead either. It was the truth he once told the maid beside me when he was out indulging himself again.” Chapter 105, EXR

Though the other points didn’t make him lose hope completely, the implication is that they did affect him too (as shown by how he speaks about them), with Jin Guangshan’s words about Meng Shi being the final straw. ‘Los[ing] hope’ here of course relates to holding onto resentment, as Jin Guangyao’s loss of hope is what led him to murder out of his hatred.

Finally, both Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng also hold resentment due to holding onto what they’ve done for others, or even onto who they themselves are, without being treated accordingly – and though it makes sense to be hurt by all these things and these reactions are valid, the pain from holding that in your heart and the danger from holding onto it is precisely why MDZS condemns it:

“Why is it that even if I face everyone with a smile, I might not even receive the lowest form of respect, while even though your father was extremely arrogant, people flocked to him? Could you tell me why we were born from the same person but your father could relax at home with the love of his life playing with his child, while I never even dared be alone for long with my wife, shivering out of fright at first glance of my son? And I was ordered to do such a thing by my father as if it was natural—to kill an extremely dangerous figure who could flip out and conjure up a bloody massacre with his corpses anytime! “Why is it that even though we were born on the same day, Jin GuangShan could host a grand banquet for one son, and watch with his own eyes how his subordinate kicked his other son down Koi Tower, from the first stair to the last!” Chapter 105, EXR

(He brings up his role in Wei Wuxian’s downfall due to this as well, in addition to creating any excuse he can to absolve himself of others’ blame – he’s being treated unjustly and hated for something he’s done, even though he was ordered to do that thing by his father and it made sense!)

Jiang Cheng, “Are you stupid? You only counted the time to return and not the time to go there? Let alone the fact that after I got there I had to lead people and search through the entire mountain for the old banyan tree, then dig open the hole that got blocked up by Wen Chao and his people, and rescue you within seven days. Where’s your gratitude?!” (…) He raised his voice, “You killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter together with Lan WangJi, bathing in blood! How great is that?! But what about me?!” He punched his fist into a pillar in the hall, clenching his teeth, “… I have also been running around for days, completely exhausted, with not one second of rest!” Chapter 56, EXR

(And, a bonus to show this being a part of Jiang Cheng’s mindset without stemming from being hurt by a specific event, even when he’s being encouraging:)

“So it seems that both of you killed it together. What’s yours is yours. Why would you give him all the credit?” Chapter 56, EXR

(This moment is a nice display of the contrast between Wei Wuxian’s and Jiang Cheng’s mindsets as well, with the former focusing on what Lan Wangji (‘others’) did for him instead of seeking credit for his role!)

To repeat – of course these feelings are understandable, and I’m not blaming them for feeling this way. What I am placing blame on is letting those feelings drive you to murder many innocent prostitutes, or to let this sense of a debt you’re owed (which is what the philosophy is actually warning away from, because if you hold onto what you do for others, the natural expectation is that they’re indebted to you and should do something for you as a result) turn into resentment towards someone for not acting the way you think they should, leading you to help murder them, even if your sister sacrificed herself specifically to save their life.

This is the danger of holding onto resentment. And are these actions not a choice? Would you, independent of MDZS, absolve someone of a crime because their ‘personality just leads them that way’?

The same is true for acting on these two philosophies, and letting resentment go. And it’s all the more impressive when someone has as much potential resentment to hold onto as Wei Wuxian does.

Of course, Wei Wuxian himself isn’t completely infallible – which further supports the idea that this isn’t just a natural, unalterable quirk, since we see him act contradictory to his usual self as well. But the narrative’s view of resentment in these moments doesn’t change. Importantly, the times he does let resentment drive what he’s doing, during the Sunshot Campaign and Nightless City (as well as him being quick to anger at Phoenix Mountain, etc), it isn’t presented as in the right**** — and though he still lets go of it quickly enough to protect a group related to the one that hurt him (people of the Wen sect, the cultivators who participated in the Siege), it doesn’t prevent the harm done during these times. Additionally, the times he metaphorically can’t control and reign in his resentment in the form of guidao – at Qiongqi Path and, again, at Nightless City – pain is caused to innocents (Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli). This is what his internal thoughts have to say when he comes across cultivators gossiping about him, shortly after Wen Qing and Wen Ning have sacrificed themselves:

No matter what he did, not a single good word would come out of these people’s mouths. When he won, others feared; when he lost, others rejoiced. Chapter 77, EXR

He’s hurt by other people praising and blaming him! Holding onto this philosophy isn’t automatic, that decision isn’t simply encoded within him somehow.

But that brings us to another relevant theme: that these characters aren’t infallible, because they’re not mythical creatures or concepts brought to life. Everyone is human.

However, although he thought that his heart was like a stone, in the end, he was still human, not some emotionless grass or plant. Chapter 8, EXR

OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior Wei collapse?” Lan WangJi, “Fatigue.” Lan JingYi was amazed, “I thought that Senior Wei would never get tired!” The other boys felt somewhat astonished as well. That the legendary YiLing Patriarch could collapse from fatigue from dealing with walking corpses—they all thought that the YiLing Patriarch should be able to settle them with just a snap of his fingers. However, Lan WangJi shook his head. He only said four words, “We are all human.” They were all human. How could a human be tireless? How could they stand forever? Chapter 84, EXR

Even with Wei Wuxian’s temperament, even with his attitude, he’s still human! Just as he’s not immune from being affected by harsh words to do with his past, just as he’s not immune from being affected by exhaustion, he’s not immune to being hurt by or angry at his circumstances. As we see in the Sunshot Campaign and at Nightless City, he’s not immune to dwelling on his misfortunes, to being driven by his hurt and anger and by resentment he holds onto (consciously! At Nightless City, Wei Wuxian deliberately accepts the curses thrown at him, because ‘anger was the only thing that could suppress the other feelings within his heart’ (Chapter 78)). 

But nearly always, he chooses not to. The Wen remnants he saved were innocent, yes, and Wen Ning and Wen Qing helped him previously – but in his second life, he could’ve easily kept holding onto his resentment and left the cultivators who besieged him, who killed him and those under his protection, to die at the Second Siege. But he didn’t! He held true to his own philosophy, to judge the right and wrongs yourself independent of what others do, and saved them.

Because this is what’s important to him, because this is how he wishes to act in the present, and because he doesn’t let himself be defined by the tragedies he went through.

The donkey seemed as if it knew that he wasn’t in a great mood [due to others bringing up what happened in his past], and for once, it wasn’t being loud out of impatience. A moment of silence passed, and it turned around to leave. Wei WuXian sat by the stream, not responding at all. It turned around to look, throwing its hooves onto the ground, but Wei WuXian still paid no attention to it. The donkey had to come back sulkily, biting and tugging on the corner of Wei WuXian’s collar. He could choose to go, and he could choose to not go. Seeing that the donkey had [gone] as far as to use his mouth, Wei WuXian decided to follow him.  Chapter 8, EXR*****

Immediately after this, he’ll continue investigating the puzzle of Dafan Mountain’s night hunt; he’ll come across a ghost, ask where it’s hurt and offer to take a look at it; he’ll rush off to save Jin Ling and the Lan juniors, figuring out the truth behind the dancing goddess and being the only one to do so. Just as it’s more important to the narrative, this – quick thinking, problem solving, compassion, doing the right thing, even seeking out excitement – is what Wei Wuxian finds more important about his own self, and what he chooses to focus on.

Some final questions to end things.

If you saw Wei Wuxian, without any knowledge of what happened in MDZS, without any work done by the narrative structure or by knowledge of tropes – would you have expected the backstory he had? Would you expect his parents to have died when he was at an age where he could barely remember them? Would you expect him to have lived on the streets until he was nine years old, or to have been taken into an unjust and extremely volatile household, or to have (chosen to) lose the source of powers he was very proud of – shortly before he was thrown, now powerless, into the equivalent of hell for three months? Would you expect his first life to have ended because protecting innocents (knowingly) led to the entire world crusading against him, because their siege resulted in him being torn apart? Or would you not think of tragedy when it comes to this person who gleefully jokes and teases, who’s so smart and competent and knows it, who doesn’t focus on the negatives, who acts so confidently on his morals, who revels in life so much?

If you only saw Wei Wuxian’s backstory with no context of his character, would you expect him to remain this way?

And, if you saw Wei Wuxian’s actions in the present day, without knowing what tragedies happened in his past, would he feel like an incomplete character?

It’s impossible to answer, of course – even in the present day, you get information about his past.

But I’m inclined to say no.

(Part One | Part Three | Full version on AO3)

—

*But again, let me emphasise – especially in real life, doing the trauma olympics is never good! As I said, everyone has limits, everyone’s limits differ, and just because one person can cope with something doesn’t mean another person can, even with the same mechanisms. And that shouldn’t lead to any judgement!

I say ‘especially in real life’ because in fiction, some characters’ experiences are often made similar or different to others’ in order to parallel or foil them  – in which case comparison is often the point. But trauma olympics (‘this person suffered x amount so the other person should be able to take it!!’) is still bad, guys (especially since, as with MDZS, those parallels or foils are often there to explore the harm they do to others as a result, not simply how much trauma they can take).

**My thoughts on rumours here. Tl;dr, if Jin Ling (someone who’d want to defend him!) is saying he did (and that he “never let anyone go” – Chapter 24), if sources like Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui act as if this is the case (Chapter 10 – to defend, you could say personal feelings play a role, but Lan Wangji especially is someone who knows not to, and explicitly doesn’t, make judgements without conclusive evidence. Again, see my thoughts on rumours) – and if Jiang Cheng backs up this behaviour (eg by telling Jin Ling to kill every demonic cultivator he sees and feed them to his dogs in his introduction – Chapter 7), it’s probably not a simple unbased rumour. There’s enough evidence to support its veracity.

***However, do note that Wei Wuxian isn’t an outlier, either – Lan Wangji, Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui (once he learns of his heritage) are all examples of other characters who aren’t overcome or twisted by their pain, instead still aiming to make the world a better place. And this is Jin Ling’s whole arc, too!

****I delve a lot more deeply into this here!

*****The role this moment plays isn’t actually something I caught myself – it came from a post about a reread of MDZS’ earlier chapters. I can’t find it myself, but if anybody has the link, that would be great (so I can cite it)!

—

Also, a shoutout to this incredible meta by @righteousinadversity – it’s what made me want to delve into this aspect two years ago! It’s still one of my favourite metas, and you enjoyed this, you’ll definitely enjoy that, too.

[operationrainfall]

This is Part Two of a Three Part Interview.

If you missed Part One, you can check it out here. Part Three will be published on Friday, January 18. 

Rami Ismail is the co-founder (along with Jan Willem “JW” Nijman) of Vlambeer, a Dutch indie studio that erupted onto the indie development scene in 2010. Since that time, he has not only helped create games such as Super Crate Box, Ridiculous Fishing, and (most recently) Nuclear Throne, but he won the GDC 2018 Ambassador Award for his work in supporting independent game development.

On New Year’s Day 2019, he announced on Twitter a new video game project called Meditations. He explained that every day for a year, a new game would appear in the Meditations launcher that would take just a few minutes to complete and would only be available for that day. Once that day passed, a new game by a different creator would take its place in the Meditations launcher.

I reached out to Rami just after the project went live to set up an interview with him, and he agreed to delay the interview for a few days so I could experience several of the different Meditations games available. This interview occurred on January 10, 2019 – or, in other words, after the first ten Meditations games were made available to play. During our time together, we spoke about the origins of Meditations and how he envisioned it to be, the controversy that arose about how the developers were being credited and his reactions to it, if there will be a February 29th game for when Meditations repeats over again next year, and more.

In Part Two, we talk about why almost none of the Meditations games have a title, about the developer credits controversy that erupted almost immediately after Meditations was launched, and how he handled the backlash both introspectively and publicly.

You can check out Rami Ismail at both his and Vlambeer‘s official websites. You can tweet him on Twitter, follow him on Facebook, and subscribe to him on Twitch.

You can download the Meditations launcher for Windows and OSX platforms for free on Meditations’ official website. The official Twitter hashtag for Meditations is #meditationgames.

This interview has been edited for clarity and content.

OR: Throughout this interview so far, we have been referring to various Meditations games by the developer and the date. It appears that with the exception of January 1st [TEMPRES, by Tak], none of them have titles.

RI: Yes.

OR: Is that purposeful?

RI: It is interesting- honestly, it wasn’t. I just never asked for titles. And then none of the developers came with titles. They were free to [write a] description. I think [that] the best way to refer to these [Meditations games] is by developer or by date. One interesting thing about Meditations is that it was intentionally created to have a lot of room for community interaction. We wanted to have the possibility to create discourse- like, a conversation about these games. And we hope[d] that the context and the context of the description would facilitate a closer look at each of these games. Something a little more intimate, a little more meaningful, [but] without the expectation of the game – a lot of times, a lot of discourse around games gets shut down with ‘Oh, it’s just a game’ or ‘It’s just meant to be fun.’ or ‘It’s made for this and this reason.’

Well, for Meditations, one thing that is abundantly clear is that these games have exactly been made for the purpose of introspection. These games have been made to [be thought] about. And we hope that by creating that context, we would create a space for the community to drop in. Beyond access to future games, everything about Meditations is public. You can very easily figure out how the API works, and what it does. Somebody already did and documented it quite well, to be honest. She figured out how all of it works. There is somebody who made a [Twitter] bot that will tweet each day and give credit of who made it, as Meditations does not keep a rolling credit log. Somebody made a [sub]reddit where people can discuss the games. And there’s all sorts of community functions that go on as we speak.

But the thing that I notice about the [sub]reddit is that some people started naming games out of nowhere. Like, they would title a game. On Twitter with the hashtag [OR Note: #meditationgames], we are seeing the same thing, where the game yesterday – somebody was calling it ‘Good Dog’. You know what? Fair enough. People give things names, and I kind of really like that. It was kind of really one of the hopes, but that was not an intentional thing. It just happened.

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Even though Rami brought on different developers from all over the world to create the games for Meditations, some of the games have elements in common- even if they convey completely different messages.

For example, January 8th’s Meditation (above) was by Lucas Gullbo. In his Meditation, the player holds down the left mouse button, and drags the mouse to move the dog across the snowy landscape. The right mouse button makes the dog bark, which is needed to move various flocks of birds away so the dog can reach the human at the end. Once the dog arrives at the human, the dog has to bark one final time to end the game as a heart appears by the human.

January 10th’s Meditation (below), by Cullen Dwyer, also involves a dog. The game launches with a grave, and a ghost dog appears. The player uses the arrow keys to have the ghost dog navigate to pick up the baseball, and bring it to the hand to throw. Once the ball is thrown, the player has to go get the ball again. As more and more rounds of fetch are played, both the ghost dog and the hand gradually disappear until there is only the ball left.

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OR: Almost immediately after the project went live, debate emerged about giving the developers credit for the game, [and] to quote you on Twitter: “the project failed to communicate the crediting system to the contributors.” What happened?

RI: So what happened is that it was a miscommunication, mostly. It was one-hundred percent my fault. So what happened is that as I was doing Meditations, I obviously have a specific view on this project. To me, Meditations is this year-long arts project. It is a live performance that is ongoing and evolving as we go. And as we go, we will get a better understanding, we will get a better idea. We will get more context. We will get more. So that’s its own thing. And for me, the idea is that if you do a live performance, just like in any other media, then the credits would be at the end. That you have this performance, then at the end of it, you bring everyone on stage, and this is the people who made it possible.

What I should have done is that I should have made that really clear when people signed up. That this is how it is going to work. The reality is that I failed to do that. And failing to do that, I made it so that these 350+ developers who all have different attitudes to how crediting should work, who have different expectations as to how crediting [their] work, who all are in very different contexts and circumstances, whether it’s economically or in terms of employment or whatever- that they all had their own idea of how this was going to work. And then when the project came out, obviously it turned out that a lot of people disagreed. That there were people in this project who really needed that credit, that participated because now they would be in a giant list with three-hundred-and-sixty-five other developers, which would improve their chance for employment. And some people thought it was just for collaborative art – that there should always be all of the names at the start.

And for me, it was considerations that I was going through – I wanted to make sure that everyone gets equal credit. Everyone gets twenty-four hours of credit in the launcher while their game is up, and then at the end, everyone goes ‘on stage’ and will take a big bow and ta-da! done. And then the project switches to an archive for the next year – the project will loop, but it won’t be the performance, it will be a recording of the performance. That was sort of my high-level philosophy for this project. And then when it turned out that people disagreed, I realized that I made a huge mistake in not communicating. From that point on, and I’m still – by now, it’s resolved philosophically, but it’s not practically resolved.

For the past [ten] days of January, I’ve been working and holding surveys with the contributors, trying to get a solution that’s as representative of the community as a whole as possible. And yesterday, we reached an agreement that was backed by over ninety-percent of the community. Which still isn’t one-hundred, which I will be forever sad about. And I’ll hold myself accountable to that ten-percent. But, I think, you know, given that we didn’t get it right, given that I didn’t get it right on first try, I think this is the best I could do for second try. And I’m proud of the community for getting together and discussing, and rapidly listening to the surveys so we could resolve this as soon as possible with as few people feeling slighted by the project.

[OR Note: Since this this interview was conducted, Rami Ismail has published a list of developers who wished to be credited at the present time online. You can check out the list here.]

“[T]hree-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting this right. Three-hundred-and-fifty people placed their trust in me to get this right. So I should get it right. End of story.”

[…]

“It stays impossible to wrap my mind around, right? Because, to me, I’m just the same flawed Rami that I was when I was ten or twelve or fourteen or sixteen. At some point, you have to come terms with the fact that that’s not who you are anymore.”

[…]

“So I try. I try as hard as I can.”

Read more about the developer creditation controversy, and Rami’s response to it, on Page Two —–>

OR: You wrote on your blog in February 2015 that:

“Of course, part of the problem with talking about failure and problems is modern culture, so hell bent on recognizing our relative successes as the one unambiguous truth. An apology is a sign of weakness met with nothing but vitriol, a sincere complaint a reason to attack and bad sales figures are a deep personal embarrassment. We’d rather talk about our successes.”

And you concluded with:

“We need to acknowledge our failures so that we can learn.”

How did all of this [occurring] make you feel? What was going through your mind when all of this started happening?

RI: The first response – I think this is a human thing- but your first response is to always defend yourself, right? And thankfully, I’ve not had to apologize for things that I’ve messed up in my career very often. But its happened before, and you get to recognize that feeling.

And there’s always two things that I try to keep in mind when something happens that requires me to apologize or would make it good for me to apologize. First is this metaphor of the robots.

Have you ever heard of that one?

OR: [I have not.] Could you elaborate please?

RI: So there is this metaphor – there is this YouTube channel called vlogbrothers, and August 2018, they posted this video about a giant robot suit.

And the idea is that on social media, everybody wears the robot suit. And the more visible you are, the bigger the robot suit becomes [and] the most powerful it becomes. One of the tricks about the robot suit is that you can’t see your own robot suit, you can only see other people’s robot suit. So you just think you’re a normal human, and the other person thinks you’re a normal person, but in reality, you’re wearing these armors – the more visible you are, the bigger [the armor] get[s]. If somebody punches at me, and they have very low visibility, then they have a very tiny robot suit. And it might feel and look to me like I just got straight up punched, but the reality is that it is a tiny robot suit and I’m in this Megazord, Power Rangers super robot, and it doesn’t really do much.

If I punch, I bring that same Megazord Super Power Ranger robot to it, and I can flatten a robot, just by the grace of having one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand followers, but also [by] my position in this industry, my visibility in this industry, my network. I’m a person that might be scary to a lot of people. And that’s not something I want, but how do you criticize somebody that, from your point of view, might have the ability to seriously damage your career? I don’t think I could do that, but I know a lot of people think I could do that. And I know I wouldn’t do that, but at the same time, not a lot of people know me on a personal level. So how would they know? So that was the first thing, I had to take a step back and look at things- ‘Okay, I’m getting attacked over something that I thought was good. So, first, let’s keep track of the robot suit.’

The second thing was that a lot of the people involved were basically punching up. It meant that this was important because people were taking risks. I immediately went ‘Okay, something went wrong. Because if things went right, I wouldn’t be getting backlash.’ And I think most people assume I have good intentions? And I hope that I’ve garnered that trust over the years. So if I assume that people assume that I have good intentions, and if I assume that people are only saying this because it’s important, then ‘What went wrong? Where did this problem arise?’

So I started arguing with a number of people, trying to explain my point of view. The primary hope for that is that I would get a better understanding of other people’s point of view. And the backlash can be very overwhelming, and it remains very overwhelming, even after having been in a number of backlashes. It’s always scary.

But I had one advantage, and the advantage was very simple. I had three-hundred-and-fifty people that I wanted to do right by, and I had no doubt that the majority of the backlash I was getting was from people that wanted the exact same thing as me- which was to make sure everything was fair, that everything was equal, that everything was inclusive. And the people angry at me, the people criticizing me, I would look at their Twitter profile and instead of finding overall opinions that I strongly disagreed with, I would find a lot of opinions that I was just like ‘Oh, you and I- we think the same. So I’ve clearly messed up.’ Because, somebody like me, watching this go down, would have probably the same concerns. I just haven’t, because it was me.

So I took a step back, and I argued for a bit. Most of the criticism I got was purely about the crediting. And I actually, one-hundred percent, realiz[ed] that it was my lack of setting expectations that created this situation. And as soon as that was established, I started working on fixing it. Because, if you mess up, you make it right. And even in this case, even if I had believed that I didn’t mess up, three-hundred-and-fifty people are depending on me getting it right.

Three-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting it right, not just because its fair to the three-hundred-and-fifty people, but also because, again, one of the ideas for Meditations project as a whole was that you and your experience would not be colored by external influences. And the last thing I wanted was for people to play Meditations thinking the same thing that a lot of people were thinking Red Dead Redemption [2], which was ‘Well, this was created under unfair circumstances.’ So I wanted to make sure that both for the project and for the people and for the community that I got this right. And even though I didn’t get it right, I wanted to make sure that people understood that I was aware [and] that I acknowledged that, that I [also] acknowledged the power imbalance in a lot of that discussion, and that I will get it fixed instead of lashing out.

So there was a lot of thoughts going on in my head. And part of them- it’s just trying to honor the position that a lot of people had given me in this industry. And part of it is just trying to be a good human. And I think it’s both of those fully. Not like fifty percent this and fifty percent that, [but] a hundred percent the one and a hundred percent the other.

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January 9th’s Meditations game was by Kirsten Naidoo. The player has to click on the petal(s) that are off to the side, and match it to where it would fit on the large flowers. As each round of flowers are completed, more flowers blossom on the overall plant, until the plant is fully grown.  

OR: You wrote on Twitter on January 3rd and spoke just now a lot about how to handle backlash. You said that it “you’ll also likely find yourself in a panicked state, making decisions that might be less than helpful” and that “your biggest enemy is not the crowd, it’s making rushed decisions in response.” You then gave advice on how to handle receiving backlash by saying to “Stay considerate, search for calmth & understanding, and try and overcome your fight-and-flight” and that “[m]anaging your emotional well-being is critical here.“

It may sound silly, but were you able to take your own advice?

RI: Yeah, I was.

And this is something that came with a lot of practice, I think, over the years. I’ve gotten pretty good at dealing with high pressure environments, and not even from game development, honestly. I think it comes from public speaking. I do a lot of public speaking, and its often in front of a lot of people. One of the weird things about my life that I haven’t realized – in 2015, Arjan Terpstra, a Dutch writer, worked with me and JW to write a book about Vlambeer. He wrote the full history of the company up until that point. And one of the things I never realized, but that he perfectly poked at, was the notion that for both me and JW, we’ve been in the public eye since we were eighteen and twenty [years-old].

And we’ve made every mistake to get where we are today. We’ve made every single one of those mistakes in public. We’ve made them on Twitter. We’ve made them at talks. We’ve made them on the internet. We’ve made them in our games. Every mistake we’ve made has always been a public mistake. It’s never been a secret, it’s never been hidden, it’s never been something we can just quietly resolve. It’s always out there. And it kind of shapes how I think about a lot of things. Everything I do is in this very often public context. From work to my personal life. Most of my life is in the public context. Like, my flight schedule is public. There’s very little – my phone number is on my website. Most of the stuff I do is public.

And I think it sort of like, taught me that the public is not an enemy, but it is also not an ally. It is the public, society. Like, you’re staring at society. You’re just making your mistake[s] in public. And if people that have problems with that – they’re going to take it out on you. But, also, if people don’t like you, they’re going to take it out on you. And if people have political gain through something you do, they’re going to support you. If [not], they are going to attack you. You kind of get used to the dance of things.

And I think in backlash, one of the most critical things that helped calm me down is realizing that the people that were attacking me wanted the same thing as me. Which is that they want things to be fair. They want things to be right. And they want people to be treated with [the] respect and care that they deserve. That was very helpful in sort of calming me. It was also obviously stressful in its own way, because it meant that people that I normally agree with were now opposing me. And you can take that as a personal attack, or you can take that as a sign that you messed up.

And I took it as a sign that I messed up. And you can very quickly pivot to ‘How do I fix it? How do I make it right?’ Because I want to.

Again, three-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting this right. Three-hundred-and-fifty people placed their trust in me to get this right. So I should get it right. End of story. This is something that I feel frequently. It’s not just those three-hundred-and-fifty people, it’s the one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand developers on Twitter. It’s also everybody who voted for me in the Ambassador Award before. It’s also all the developers around the world that look to me for advice or that look to me for assistance or look to me as a role model.

It stays impossible to wrap my mind around, right?

Because, to me, I’m just the same flawed Rami that I was when I was ten or twelve or fourteen or sixteen. At some point, you have to come terms with the fact that that’s not who you are anymore. And I don’t know what that makes me, and I don’t know whether that’s right or wrong, and I don’t know whether it’s healthy or unhealthy for the community at large. But at some point, I’ve had to accept that I guide discussion and a lot of people look to me to do things right. So if I want this industry to be as good as possible, if I want this medium to be as good as possible, I should set the right example.

So I try. I try as hard as I can.

The Meditations game images used herein were taken by me, but you can check out the individual Meditations developers at the links included beneath each image set. You can also check out a partial list of all the developers in the project here. The Meditations logo is owned by Rami Ismail.

You can download the Meditations launcher for Windows and OSX platforms for free on Meditations’ official website.

Please look forward to Part Three of my interview with Rami Ismail, which will be published on Friday, January 18.

What do you think of today’s Meditation? Are you participating in the social media discussions around the daily indie games?

Let us know in the comments below!

INTERVIEW: Rami Ismail Discusses Meditations (Part Two) This is Part Two of a Three Part Interview. If you missed Part One, you can check it out…

[msgamedesign-nicoleloud-blog]

Month 4 Mastery Journal Post

For my area of research, I chose the GDC track of Visual Arts. In my research, I am exploring the area of Art Education with the addition of more digital visual medias, like video games, being added to the curriculum. 

Right now, Art Education curriculums are being implemented as if we are not living within a digitized, connected world. In order to move Art Education into the 21st century, visual art that is not just considered “fine art” needs to be added to the classroom in terms of both historical context, and the mediums themselves.

This month’s research consisted of finding more articles in regards to video games being used in Art Education and as a tool to teach children basic programming and critical thinking skills. I found several articles that referenced studies that explored some of these ideas, but they all had relatively small sample sizes, and in my opinion were inconclusive for this reason. Further research I’d like to do includes finding more serious studies that explore the effects of adding video games to the Art Education discourse, and the effects of adding video games as an educational tool.

All of what was stated above directly connects to my selected Capstone because I was accepted into the Serious Games track. Serious Games are games with an educational goal, so this is something that will directly contribute to my success in my track. 

[symbianosgames]

Games are for everyone. And in recognizing this, ever-increasing numbers of developers are making a point to incorporate more accessibility features and options like remappable controls, configurable subtitles, resizable HUDs, and more. Even the console makers are getting involved — Microsoft recently added a text-to-speech API, live speech-to-text transcription, and a "co-pilot" mode to the Xbox. 

Accessibility is in vogue, and with good reason. The more accessible a game is, the larger its potential audience and the happier its players — all of whom benefit from better sound and graphic design and greater customizability. Game accessibility consultant, and advocate Ian Hamilton, one of the leading experts in the field, says that accessibility is now bigger than ever — with "big players in the industry kicking off initiatives such as internal awareness raising events"  and key industry figures like Shuhei Yoshida, Shawn Layden, Phil Spencer, and Cliff Bleszinski are making public statements of support. 

Steve Spohn echoes the sentiment that accessibility is becoming widely accepted. He's the COO of the AbleGamers Foundation, which both helps people with disabilities enjoy games and works directly with developers and publishers to improve accessibility in games. Twelve years ago AbleGamers asked developers at GDC if they had ever considered gamers with disabilities and only a small fraction said yes, but now AbleGamers hears from a dozen developers a week — at least one of which is working on a new AAA title — and Spohn says that in his experience "most developers are thrilled to add accessibility options." (He notes that publishers, however, still sometimes prioritize downloadable content over accessibility options.) 

With ever-more developers pushing to make their games accessible, we asked Spohn and Hamilton to help assemble a list of seven games that exemplify different accessibility best practices. Here are their choices: 

Remappable controls helped Dayton Jones excel at Killer Instinct tournaments [Photo: Michael Martin]

Killer Instinct is a phenomenal game for accessibility," says Spohn. For mobility-impaired players,   developer Iron Galaxy included fully remappable controls — a feature that enabled one player with spinal muscular atrophy, Dayton "Wheels" Jones, to qualify for two Killer Instinct World Cups and secure second-place honors at major tournament Combo Breaker 2017. And for blind and vision-impaired players it has excellent positional audio cues that are unique to each character (and their moves), along with a volume slider for additional audio cues that replicate graphical interface elements. 

Hamilton notes that Mortal Kombat X also includes a blind accessibility mode that turns on extra audio cues for features (such as meters charging or moving in front of interactive background elements) that are normally handled through graphics alone. "That's two big-name current-gen console games that have dedicated dev time to ensuring blind accessible gameplay," says Hamilton. "That's a situation that we haven't been in before, and hopefully with the new developers tools becoming available for blind accessibility it's an area that we'll continue to see growth in." 

Takeaway: Good accessibility is often just good design, and great sound design — with unique audio cues for every move, character/enemy type, and health/power/special meter — in particular can have a huge impact on accessibility for players with vision impairments.

Virtual d-pad in World of Warcraft 

For Spohn, World of Warcraft stands out as a shining example not only of great accessibility across the board but also of effectively retrofitting accessibility features post-release. "As a base game, it's accessible to many different gamers with different disabilities," he explains, "but over the years they have added more and more options from console commands to UI improvements." 

"As far as games that have listened to the most accessibility advice from AbleGamers, the WoW team has been one of the best," continues Spohn. He also gives an example of a suggestion Blizzard implemented despite concerns that it might make bots a bigger problem. Characters can now be moved using only a mouse — a godsend for players unable to use the keyboard for one reason or another — via a virtual d-pad. (Spohn also says that Star Wars: The Old Republic, another older MMO not designed to be accessible, has kept adding new accessibility options in the years since its original release.) 

Takeaway: You can use post-launch updates and patches to incorporate new accessibility options and to improve the ones you already have based on player feedback.

From UnstoppableGame's laudatory review of Rocket League

"Rocket League is a deceptively accessible game," says Spohn. Despite its fast speed and chaotic action, the popular soccer with cars multiplayer game is actually very playable for people with limited motor function or range of motion. The camera can be configured to automatically follow the ball or the car, and it's possible to play well with just three buttons — boosts, jumps, rolls, and powerslides all help players get an edge, but they are by no means necessary to success and can be compensated for by ingenuity.  

"They even added in the ability to play by driving with the mouse at the request of AbleGamers," continues Spohn. And better yet, the hearing impaired are covered too, as there's no reliance on audio cues whatsoever — if you can't hear it, you might lose some atmosphere, but otherwise it's no big deal. 

Takeaway: Just because your game is fast paced or frenetic, it doesn't mean you can't cater to people with temporary or permanent mobility impairments — configurable controls, camera assists, and non-critical mechanics for advanced players go a long way to making a game accessible to all.

Different people need different things from subtitles, and often at different times. For some, subtitles are important to help them understand what's being said — because they have trouble keeping up with the voice acting. For many others it's just helpful to have them there, as unobtrusive as possible, as a fallback for when they miss something. But it's not enough just to have subtitles for those players who need or want them. Accessibility best practice means allowing players control over how they're presented. 

Life is Strange stands out as one of the best games around in this regard, with subtitles that can be resized even to the point of being "hella large" for players who really need them big. Hamilton says it's also a rare — and perhaps unique — example of a game that offers an on/off toggle for subtitle letterboxing (this is when a solid semi-opaque rectangle or is placed behind the text, to increase contrast for better readability). Hamilton also praises Rise of the Tomb Raider's excellent closed captions for sound effects and speech, but he notes that it falls short by offering no configurability beyond a toggle for using different text colors to distinguish between characters. 

"Other industries already have this stuff all figured out," says Hamilton. "If you open up YouTube or Netflix, for example, you'll see a standardized set of configuration options. Game development still has a way to go until that point, but what Life is Strange has is an important step forward." 

Takeaway: Just having subtitles is good, but you can do so much more — let players customize the color, font size, and subtitle background, and if possible include closed captions for important audio cues as well.

Hamilton says that Tin Man Games' turn-based RPG adaptation of the Fighting Fantasy gamebook Warlock of Firetop Mountain caters to a "huge and drastically underserved market" of people who have difficulty reading. He cites data suggesting that around 14 percent of Americans have below-basic literacy skills and notes that, in part because of stigma associated with low literacy, "it is very rarely part of the general discourse or considered in games." 

But Warlock of Firetop Mountain makes a point of catering to people who have difficulty reading. It offers text chunking and customizable settings for font (players can swap the stylized default typography for a dyslexic-friendly font), text size, and line spacing. "For a predominantly reading-based game like this to be leading the way is a really great thing," says Hamilton. 

Takeaway: A lot of people have difficulty reading, and you can go a long way toward helping them by simply including a dyslexic-friendly font alternative and multiple font sizing options. (And if you're a small indie developer, accessibility — particularly in underserved areas — may translate into better sales and more media attention.)

Anyone who's tried to play modern console games on a small TV or in a room with the couch more than a few meters away from the TV can likely appreciate how Madden 17's prize accessibility feature benefits huge portions of its audience. The developers here focused on what they internally called "couch mode" — a scalable on-field user interface that would make it easier for players to parse the HUD text and graphics from a couch placed beyond the optimum viewing distance for their TV.  

"What really stood out was the feedback route that accompanied the launch," says Hamilton. "The developer behind the features, Karen Stevens, has established a general EA accessibility feedback route through both twitter and email, collecting and disseminating feedback throughout all EA studios." 

Standard pass icons (above) vs. enlarged pass icons (below) in Madden 17

Takeaway: Not everyone playing your game has 20/20 vision and a monitor three feet from their face, so include an option to let them make the UI bigger if they need to.

Spohn and Hamilton both agree that hit multiplayer shooter Overwatch deserves recognition for its inclusion of remappable keys for each individual character. In practical terms, this means that players who require assistive technology to enjoy the game can do so without interruption — with multiple remapping profiles, they can switch characters at will without having to constantly reconfigure the devices they use to play. 

But that's not all. "Overwatch is a perfect example of trying to buckshot accessibility," says Spohn. Blizzard really pulled out nearly all the stops, with a steady flow of accessibility improvements to the game since release. "They added mouse sensitivity and added audio cues, including ambient noise," continues Spohn, who notes they also "recently tackled closed captioning and multiple profiles available for each character — something that no other game does — and a plethora of options." There's eye tracking, fixed-camera support, and chat accessibility options, too. 

Reddit user zak552 praises Overwatch's customizable controls

Takeaway: If making a game with multiple playable characters, each with unique capabilities, it helps to have separate button-mapping profiles for all of them. And if you're going to the trouble to improve one aspect of your game's accessibility, why not go a step further and try to make it accessible to all. 

While you can make a game more accessible at any point in its life-cycle, the best (and cheapest!) time to do it is early in development, so try to work it into your design from the start — it'll save you lots of headaches later on. But also be sure to consult with experts like Spohn and Hamilton and the Game Accessibility SIG, and with groups of playtesters (not just individuals), as well as with documents like AbleGamers' Includification guide, because how you implement accessible options can have a big impact on their effectiveness. 

And remember that nearly every accessibility option is going to benefit a much larger group than just the people with a relevant disability. Remappable controls might help someone recovering from a sprained wrist or broken finger, or a baby cradled in one arm. Subtitles and captions benefit people playing late at night when others are sleeping in the next room. Surround sound and unique per-character audio cues make the game more immersive, while audio cues for HUD notifications are sure to aid the inattentive. 

Good accessibility is good design, hands down, and it makes games inclusive to a broader audience. As Spohn says, "Accessibility isn't a fringe concept anymore," and for the people it benefits it can be world changing.

[piosplayhouse]

[piosplayhouse]

[piosplayhouse]

god i just saw that “ymj has no children” post you mentioned a while back and it’s??? bad. it’s so bad 💀💀

nhs is the only nie that shows up and it’s bc “well we just don’t see a lot of the nie” even though they explicitly and intentionally visited qinghe (and nhs intentionally ran his sect’s reputation into the ground!!), but jc is the only jiang that shows up and “it’s bc there’s no kids in ymj bc jc is a classist serial killer uwu maybe if he didn’t torture people in public people wouldn’t fucking hate him (also ymj indiscriminately attacks ppl and they’re probably all egotistical thugs)” LIKE HELLO???? WHAT KIND OF JUMP IS THAT???

like. one of my biggest pet peeves is how ppl misuse “begging the question” to mean “raises the question.” but if i had to explain to someone what “begging the question” is, this is too perfect of an example, bc the ENTIRE THING is based on assumptions we don’t know to be true. ARE THERE no children at ymj? IS jc classist? IS he a serial killer? CAN we trust the credibility of rumors? is ANYTHING you just said actually true??

anyway i just remembered not being able to find the post at the time but WOW it’s just as bad as it sounded

(i was in the middle of writing a response to a different one of OP’s posts but now i’m wondering if i should even bother lol)

Yeah it's just like ?? Idk op's top posts seemed fairly reasonable so I guess this is just another "Jiang Cheng eats people's brains" scenario. I think the biggest issue I have with this kind of discourse in general is the notion that "Jiang Cheng is ruining the Jiang sect by being Jiang Cheng" which I feel is weird on a lot of levels that just indicate that you straight up didn't understand half of what was going on in mdzs.

1. The Jiang sect was already ruined. You read about it. It was burned down and everyone except the sect heirs and wwx were killed, what's not clicking. The main reason that Jiang sect doesn't have many junior disciples is most likely because idk , many of the vulnerable young denizens of ymj were killed and as hard as Jiang Cheng tries, he can't force everyone in lotus pier to repopulate like shinzo abe convincing people to get married with anime. This also connects to:

2. The way sects work in mdzs is explicitly hereditary. This is a HUGE point in the world-building-- sure jc could theoretically adopt a bunch of kids or something, but what's the precedent for that? Baoshan Sanren's mountain? Blood ties are everything in mdzs. And this leads into:

3. The implication that Jiang Cheng is ruining his own sect by not getting married and having kids. I don't think I need to elaborate much on this being ummm weird as hell in many ways and also wrong because guess who else doesn't have a wife or kids... Lan Xichen?

Unorganized notes:

- Idk where people are assuming that Yunmeng Jiang/Jiang Cheng are like. explicitly ultra classist? Please keep in mind that the entire WORLD of mdzs is classist, this is a huge point of critique in the book that you literally could not miss unless you didn't read it. Furthermore, honestly, the Jiang are PROGRESSIVE in this regard. First of all, Jiang Cheng explicitly respected Wei Wuxian on a deeply personal level that defied class standards. He wanted to make Wei Wuxian his right hand man!! By mdzs standards, this is huge!! If he was really so classist because of Yu Ziyuan, as the sect heir he wouldn't have sacrificed his own safety and golden core to lead the wen away from wwx, a mere servant! The Jiang sect structure was also explicitly casual in comparison to like, idk the Jin, the guys who are the literal epitome of classism-- descriptions of lotus pier note that the civilian children living nearby would play with lotus pier disciples, do you think the other sects would let their kids do that?

- LMFAO on your mention that nhs is out there purposefully running his sect into the ground someone make an edit of that meme where the soldiers protecting the sleeping kid with jc getting hit with "ruining his sect" "destroying his sects reputation" and nhs sleeping

Ok ummm I think that's everything I wanted to say if anyone has any corrections or things to add feel free to start a discussion in the notes !!! I haven't read mdzs in... 3 years now, so I wouldn't be surprised if I got evidence wrong ^^ also ofc be polite to everyone involved and don't go and harass the person we're talking about or you're peerless cucumber (/neg)