#genuinely believing i dont know why i exist. no one will ever hire me for a jov

[anervousmirrorball]

why is it easier for some people to think they're good at what they do and harder for other people to believe they have something of value to offer? im struggling and i don't know why

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior. 

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!! 

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like. 

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun. 

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above. 

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history. 

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine. 

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series. 

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY. 

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night 

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of  “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing. 

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask! 

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

[fallingsunflower]

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

[thequeenb]

A Deal With The Devil

Pairings: KamilahxMC

New York. The city where everyone dream to visit and admire its beauty. The busy streets overpower the voices in your head, the thousands of people walking by dont care who you are and the skyscrapers were higher than my hopes.

It was the perfect city for me. My parents got divorced five months ago and i needed a fresh start, a place to be who i always wanted to be. But how responsible can a 20 year's old girl can be?

I was naive enough to leave as soon as i could. My mother's words echoed through my mind "This city hides its danger behind its beauty" but back then i just laughed it off thinking it was her way to keep me close to her.

I am not from a big city. We lived in a barn a couple of miles away from humanity. I wasn't experienced in working but i helped my father with his finances enough to know what i love to do.

When i laid my foot in New York my breath was taken away from me. The skyscrapers covered the sun, the one higher than the other. People didn't give second glance at you because they were to busy to care. Back home everyone knew who i am, a shadow of my parents.

This was my chance to find myself and start over, no rules, no yelling, no stress. At least that's what i thought. Young me didn't knew that finding a job in a city this big was hard. My applications got passed to every possible place i could work in until i settled to a coffee shop near my apartment.

Luckily for me Lily was looking for a roommate and we loved eachother since we exchanged glances. She lived in a small place but we made it ours. She was usually playing video games in the living room when i was coming home and we always ate leftover pizza trying to beat eachother in Mario kart.

3 years ago I wasn't sure what life had in store for me, but be sure i didn't knew it would turn out this way.

It was a quite evening and me and my friend from work Lucy were about to close the shop when we heard the door bell ring, an elegant woman approaching. I sighed trying to put on my best smile trying not to give reasons for my boss to fire me.

She was on her phone texting god knows who but she was so consumed that she didn't even look me in the eyes when she ordered.

"One black coffee, and make it quick" she spoke like she owned the world, and i knew right away that i hate this person, at least thats what i thought at the time.

"I am sorry but we dont serve attitude" i responded quite proud of myself because my words were enough for her to get her eyes off her phone.

She smirked mischievously making me question if i should be scared but her eyes were so intense that everything slipped off my mind. They were caramel and bright. Her suit looked expensive and so did the neckless that hanged beautifully on her open blouse

"You don't know who you talk to do you?" She said not breaking eye contact

And that's when Lucy came to save me "Here's your coffee" she said handing her the cup but she didn't bother to look at her, she was to busy eating me with her eyes

"Why thank you, try to be more like her, at least she knows her place" and like that she flipped her perfect brown hair and left the store

"Ugh who does she think she is?" I rolled my eyes

Lucy looked surprised and i could tell but when she was about to say anything our boss came from her office furious

"I dont pay you two to chat, now go clean the counter before i think twice about keeping you here" she was a bitch if you couldn't tell yet but i needed the money.

___

Two weeks had passed since i was fired. I couldn't help but put my boss into her place. I knew i risked my job but my days haven't been the best. Each night i see weird dreams of people screaming of people dying, of blood being spilled.

Lily said it was all the horror movies we watch on the weekends and i believed it trying to avoid the reality that they felt to real to be just nightmares.

Losing my job was a slap on my face waking me up. I wanted to be more than a girl who worked on a coffee shop. Back when i was younger i was always handling my father's finances and i was quite good at it.

Maybe i am stupid to even send an application in one of the biggest Financial companies but i was desperate to prove anyone who doubt me wrong, let alone the payment was better than any other job

I honestly didn't believe that i would even get an interview but i did and it was today.

"Girl relax, its just a job interview" Lily tried to reassure me but i was to anxious to calm down, i really needed this job

"Yes, with one of the biggest companies that exist, honestly maybe i should cancel and--"

"Hey hey hey, calm down i am sure you will kick ass" she said smiling "but not literally"

I cracked a smile appreciating the effort but i just grabbed my coat and left not wanting to be late and make a bad impression

"I will call you when i am done Lil, Love you!"

___

As soon as i stepped out of the taxi my stomach turned. I was a nobody trying to be someone in the wrong place. I am sure qualified people from all around the world would kill the have this position but here i am outside of the big building scared to even enter

A kind gentleman opened the door for me and as soon as i got in i was greeted by a woman

"Are you Miss Parker?" she asked kindly

"Yes i am here for my interview" i said trying not to panic at the thought that in some minutes i will be talking to the most successful woman in the finance industry

"Well Miss Sayeed is having a meeting right now but it wont take long, please have a seat"

As i sat down i immediately relaxed. This sofa was better than my bed. Miss Sayeed sure had an expensive taste considering the lobby decoration, i wonder how her office looks like

And then it hit me, i didn't even looked up to see who this woman is and now i am sure i will fail miserably and--

"Miss Sayeed is waiting for you, the office is on the 100th floor, good luck" she said looking at me pitifully like she could read my thoughts.

The elevator was going fast yet slow, enough for me to try to think of an escape but it finally came to a stop and the weight of the situation sank in my stomach

There was a long hallway and on the end of it there were two big wooden doors. Surprisingly there wasn't any secretary desk or anything, just an empty bright hallway.

My heels clicked on the expensive marble floor and with every click that echoed on my mind my anxiety was becoming worse. When i reached the door I wasn't sure if i should knock but i did even though she was expecting me

"Come in!" I hear from the other side, and i could swear that voice sounded familiar.

I opened the heavy door as my heart was racing. The office wasn't as i expected it to be. Everything about it was unique and beautiful. There were artifacts everywhere accompanied by expensive vases and a desk in the middle of it all

The papers she was holding were hiding her face but she somehow sensed my hesitation and gestured at me to sit down

I sat on one of the leather chairs that were Infront of her desk and i could feel my heart beating fast on every part of my body.

She finally let the papers down and my breath was caught "No way" i managed to say looking stunned

"Oh my! I know you from somewhere" she said looking skeptical

I wanted the earth to swallow me whole the moment i looked into those familiar caramel eyes

"That's right, you are the girl from the coffee shop" she smiled but it was anything else than genuine

"I- yes i am.. i am Amy Parker" i said folding my hands trying to look as professional as i could. But it wouldn't matter, she saw me with a pathetic outfit on a coffee shop that i didn't even treat her good at.

I sighed but then i saw the amusement in her eyes, something that made my blood boil

"Well this should be fun, why don't you tell me what are you doing here, you couldn't get enough of me?"

I smiled sarcastically, god she was so cocky and it only had been three minutes

"If i knew you are this CEO everyone talks about trust me i wouldn't even send an application here" i said rolling my eyes but she didn't look mad, just curious

"On a serious note, why do you think you deserve a place in my company" she suddenly turned to serious in a blink of an eye

"I- um i am not as experienced as anyone here but i helped my father back home with the finances and i managed fine" i said proudly sitting straight to the chair

But her serious face broke as she started laughing "Oh wow you made my day, you think handling a small business and the world's biggest company is the same?"

My heart stopped at the sight. She was actually making fun of me and it felt familiar considering the opinion my parents had for me. Without realising it i frowned looking at the floor and Kamilah noticed

"I am--"

"Save it, i knew coming here was a mistake but thank you for confirming it" i said getting up in hurry, putting my coat on. I don't know why i even bothered dressing up for someone to insult me in my face.

"You think everyone is below you just because you have a company?" I crossed my arms as she looked at me surprised, like nobody ever questioned her words

"Excuse me?" She now stood up reminding me that she is much taller than me

"Excuse you yes, i heard all kinds of things about you but i never bothered to look who you were, and guess what they were right you are cold, heartless and so damn cocky"

These words came out of nowhere and i quickly covered my mouth scared that i would say worse things

She gazed at me with her intense eyes never leaving mine "Is that right? And you believe everything you hear?"

"I just saw it in the way you talked about me, forget it i dont belong here" and like that i walked towards the elevator only for four words to make me stop my tracks

"What about a deal?"

I turn around only to see her approaching me dangerously close "I will hire you, and if you prove me you are worthy i will take back everything i said"

How could she even make this a deal? Maybe this is how business people apologize but maybe just maybe this was my opportunity to show everyone my worth.

Her hand was extended studying my features to find any hint of hesitation but i took it in mine shaking it hard

"Game on Sayeed" i said with determination in my eyes

Tag list: @scarlet-letter-a0114 @sayeedbound @wildsayeed @amorettemcsky @trouble-with-the-curve @littlemissgreen97 @nydeiri @gavryllo @ilovetaylor13m @vonda-b-real @la-guera-69 @blackphenix9527 @potato-kai-mona-sayeed @thepotatobleh @mrskamilxh

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Ok now before i get into my rage induced rant i just want to clear some things off: 1 if this isnt allowed remove it, i just simply need to vent 2. I know this sub is for dating advice, but i have litterally nowhere else to vent to 3. I know the first thought you'll have after reading this is "no wonder girls dont like you", in otherwords, im not at all surprised that my attitude explains my bad luckHere it goes Why the fuck does every girl seem to just look at me like pond slime? Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to point out how single i am and treat me as less of a human being because i have never had a girlfriend? Why does almost every girl out there ignore me and not give me the time of day when i talk to them? Why does every guy i meet feel the need to bitch and whine openly despite having a girlfriend (the only people i vent about this issue to in person are my parents) ? Everyone just assumes im some emotionless arrogant prick, they see me and think "ew why does that walking text to speech application exist". Why does everyone just look at and assume i want nothing to do with anyone simply because i lack social skills? Why is it that when i ACTUALLY TRY TO IMPROVE MYSELF nothing happens at all? Everytime i step out of my shell and try to be social people give me weird looks. And most of all WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE SUGARCOAT EVERYTHING? I swear i see the same shit being preached "oh we are friendly" "oh girls wont be mean" "oh be yourself" "oh just act natural" "everybody is acceptful" "oh girls dont mind being approached" "looks dont matter" (if lying were punishable by death more than half the human population would go extinct) I can tell you from personal experience (ex: saying hi to a group of girls and getting laughed at) that this is a load of horseshit, litterally everytime i see or hear someone preaching that they dont care about cliques i want to slap them up down and backwards. Cliques exist, and as much as we like to sugarcoat everything and say that we are friendly, we arent, i have tried to fit in with multiple types of people and i just get excluded. Most advice i hear is also the same repeated bullshit "oh you'll find someone" "oh just hit the gym" "banter with the girls" "dont be too nice" "fake it till you make it" (this one pisses me off the most) i have tried all this advice and none of it fucking works. Another thing that really pisses me off is that everyone assumes i only want a girlfriend for the sex and status. Um if that were the case ID HIRE A FUCKING PROSTITUTE WOULDNT I? believe me when i say that i feel so lonely and unloveable.i dont want a girlfriend just for the status, i want to feel loved, i want to feel like i matter to someone, i want to feel like i am capable of making someone feel special, but nope Everyone just sees me as some emotionless robot. Nobody ever stops and thinks "hmm maybe that weird white kid just wants some appreciation and love and care?". Everyone just assumes i am some weird reserved kid, and when i try to prove them wrong by being social with them i just get shit on. I get told im good looking by people outside of my family, but i dont see it for shit. I never get looked at, girls never talk with me, and i never get the flirting signals, while all other guys do. Girls think im pondslime, and no ammount of self esteem and ego boost can fix that, whatever i tried didnt work. At the same time i try not to be resentfull of women, its not their fault that they like who they like. They have the freedom to chose who they want, i shouldnt be developing such a hatred for girls simply because of their preferences, but ... At the same time i cant just blame myself and beat myself up all the time, since i havent listed my flaws i'll list them Shy, ugly, socially disabled, never had a female friend, way too left brained (or whichever one is the logical and less artsy one), i suck at lying and faking genuine feelings, i have an ugly voice, i dont know how to flirt, i lack conversation skills, the list goes on and on. It frustrates me so much how misunderstood and lonely i am. Everyone thinks i have no emotions, all cause of my boring ugly voice. Everyone thinks i hate society and want to be left alone, all i want is to feel appreciated and loved and valued. I want to know what its like to feel loved by a girl outside of my family. Also, i am 16 so before you guys start saying "blah blah you have time blah blah", im sure the real life 30 and 40 year old virfins were told the SAME FUCKING THING when they were my age, so dont even pull the "you are young you have time" bullshitAnyways, i just needed to vent, take it down if you must, maybe some of you can relate, who knows. Also i know alot you will say "seems like your mind is made up" i didnt ask for advice, i just wanted to vent via /r/dating_advice