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#genuinely terrifying. i hate living like this
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hiiii hello do you have any misc. jeremy knox headcanons laying around 🤲 i will offer my jeremy playlist in exchange
hiii yes yes i do!! thank you for asking!!! okay here’s an incomplete list off the top of my head (not sure if my Official Jeremy Theory is counted so i won’t be talking about that):
jeremy used to be scared of dogs as a kid but when he started going to therapy his therapist had a therapy dog in her office (don’t know how much of a thing this is in the us but it happens where i live) and it was the gentlest sweetest old dog and jeremy fell in love and the rest is history
jeremy was approached by david wymack with an offer to join the foxes
jeremy’s sister used to play exy for fun but stopped after The Incident
sometimes jeremy goes to the beach at night and just stands there. and the sea at night is terrifying because you can’t see it so you don’t know where it ends and the sand begins, but you can hear it and it sounds like it’s all around you, and he likes that
jeremy knox is a little depressed. this isn’t why he went to therapy (avoiding talking about my Official Theory is getting difficult help) but he is a little depressed and never thought much of it because he thinks everyone’s a little depressed and it’s his job as someone with means and privilege to help other people and not divert attention to himself
no one, including cat and laila, knows about this. the person who’s gotten the closest to knowing is his butler
jeremy’s family isn’t outwardly homophobic. they never “come around” because they don’t like him enough to make any kind of effort for him, but this dislike isn’t fueled by his being gay
after The Incident at the banquet, jeremy was offered a position with the ravens. he turned it down. this was a conversation between only him and tetsuji, which is why everyone thinks andrew’s the only one to ever turn down an offer from the ravens
jeremy and andrew, if they ever met, would get along like a house on fire in the sense that they would both quite like each other and get along well (andrew likes genuinely kind people with pasts and jeremy likes the people he likes and andrew would be one of them). they would sit together in silence and do their own thing and would have interesting conversations
jeremy had a very long emo phase that he’s very embarrassed about. it doesn’t help that he still likes the music from that phase (predominantly mcr because yes)
jeremy used to be a black coffee guy for the aesthetic but then gave up because he couldn’t get the taste of it
jeremy loves those jelly candy things and also loves caramel. he hates chocolate in cakes and ice cream but likes it plain and in cookies
jeremy also used to be a dark chocolate guy for the aesthetic and then gave up on that too. he did a lot for the aesthetic that didn’t work for him smh
jeremy’s favorite shakespeare play used to be hamlet because rite of passage but is now coriolanus (and sometimes merchant of venice). and he will defend romeo and juliet to death
jeremy first became friends with laila and then with cat
okay there you go, now hand that playlist over
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maybe-im-dark · 15 hours
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🔍 X-Men Origins: Wolverine & X Men 2 - The Cold Manipulation of William Stryker 🔍
Okay, let’s talk about the absolute MASTER of manipulation in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and X Men 2—William Stryker. If you thought this man was just another “mad scientist” villain, buckle up, because we’re about to dive into the layers of how twisted, manipulative, and downright delusional this guy really is.
1. The Ultimate Manipulator: Twisting Truth and Emotion
When Logan confronts Stryker about Kayla's death, we see the FULL extent of Stryker's manipulative skills. He doesn’t miss a beat—looks Logan dead in the eye and says, “I didn’t know it was Victor. I swear on my son’s life.” And for a second, you almost believe him, don’t you? Because he’s just that convincing. But let’s be real: it’s a complete LIE, and what makes it so twisted is that Stryker knows EXACTLY how to push Logan’s buttons.
The thing is, swearing on his son’s life means absolutely nothing to him. Why? Because he HATES his son. In the comics and movies, Stryker’s son is a mutant, and that’s a source of shame and rage for him. He despises mutants with every fiber of his being, even when it's his own flesh and blood. So, in that moment, when he swears on his son’s life, it’s not a gesture of sincerity—it’s an act of cruelty. He knows it’ll manipulate Logan into believing him, and that’s all that matters. Stryker doesn’t care about truth; he cares about control.
Key Point: Stryker’s willingness to use even the most personal aspects of his life as tools for manipulation shows how far he’ll go to get what he wants. He’ll twist any truth, exploit any emotion, just to keep people dancing to his tune.
2. Logan as the Ultimate Experiment
The moment where Logan gets the adamantium injection is the perfect example of how little Stryker values him as a person. When Logan’s heart and brain activity stop, there’s this brief moment where Stryker looks devastated—like he’s just lost something precious. But let’s be clear: he’s not mourning Logan’s death; he’s mourning the failure of his experiment. Stryker isn’t sad that Logan might be gone; he’s ANGRY that his weapon didn’t work. That’s what Logan has always been to him—an experiment, a tool, a weapon.
This man never cared about Logan’s humanity. He never saw him as a person with feelings, memories, or dreams. To Stryker, Logan was just another piece of the puzzle, another project to perfect. And the moment it seemed like that project had failed, Stryker wasn’t heartbroken—he was infuriated. That’s why he doesn’t even flinch when Logan starts to regain consciousness. There’s no relief, no joy, just the cold, calculating realization that his weapon might still be functional.
Key Point: Stryker’s reaction to Logan’s apparent death reveals his true feelings—Logan is nothing more than a tool, a means to an end. There’s no empathy, no connection, just cold, hard science.
3. Stryker’s Fantasy of Being a Hero
Here’s where Stryker’s delusion gets next level. He lives in this fantasy world where he genuinely believes he’s working with mutants to make the world a better place. But let’s be real—Stryker hates mutants. He despises them, fears them, and wants to control them. But instead of facing that reality, he convinces himself that he’s the “good guy,” that he’s fighting the “good fight” to protect humanity from the mutant “threat.”
It’s the ultimate form of cognitive dissonance. He’s not building weapons to protect humanity—he’s building weapons because he wants CONTROL. He wants to be the one who decides how history is written, who the heroes and villains are, and who gets to hold the power. And the most terrifying part? He actually believes his own lies. He’s convinced himself that he’s a hero, that his actions are justified, even as he tortures, manipulates, and murders.
Stryker isn’t just a villain—he’s a man who’s so deeply trapped in his own delusions that he can’t see the monster he’s become. He thinks he’s “saving the world,” but in reality, he’s only saving himself, saving his ego, and building a legacy on the bones of the people he’s destroyed.
Key Point: Stryker’s need to be seen as a hero blinds him to the reality of his actions. He isn’t fighting for a better world; he’s fighting to create a world where he’s in control, where he’s the savior, even if it means becoming the very monster he claims to be fighting.
4. The Warped Sense of Control
Stryker’s obsession with controlling the war against mutants isn’t about “protecting humanity”; it’s about rewriting history to cast himself as the hero. Every lie, every manipulation, every betrayal is just another step toward cementing his own power. He doesn’t care about right or wrong—he cares about winning. And that’s what makes him so dangerous. It’s not that he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong; it’s that he doesn’t care, as long as it means he gets to write the ending of the story.
5. “Only I Understand You, Logan” – The Offer to Join Him Again
In X2: X-Men United, Stryker tries to tempt Logan to join him once more, saying, “You were always an animal, Logan. I just gave you claws.” And there it is—the classic manipulation. He preys on Logan’s fear, his sense of not belonging, and tries to convince him that only he understands him, that only Stryker can help him find his place in a world that sees him as a monster.
But let’s be clear: if Logan had accepted Stryker’s offer, it wouldn’t have been a partnership. It would’ve been enslavement. Stryker would have used Logan’s power, his rage, his pain, and twisted it into something monstrous. He would’ve used Logan to kill his own friends, likely through mind control, and then basked in watching Logan spiral into guilt and self-hatred once he snapped out of it. Because that’s what Stryker does—he takes the broken pieces of people and molds them into weapons of his own making.
Key Point: Stryker’s offer to Logan isn’t about understanding him—it’s about owning him. It’s about taking Logan’s pain and using it as fuel to further his own twisted agenda. And the worst part? He’s so damn good at making you believe that he’s the only one who truly gets you.
When he looks at Logan, he doesn’t see a man—he sees a weapon. When he looks at mutants, he doesn’t see people—he sees threats to be eliminated or tools to be used. And that’s why he’ll never be the hero he pretends to be. Because a hero fights for people. A hero values life. And Stryker? Stryker only values power.
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TL;DR: William Stryker is the ultimate manipulator, using lies, emotional exploitation, and self-delusion to control everyone around him. He doesn’t care about mutants; he doesn’t care about making the world a better place. All he cares about is control, power, and rewriting history to make himself the hero. He sees Logan not as a person but as a weapon, and his disappointment at Logan’s apparent death is the purest reflection of that. Stryker will always be trapped in his own fantasy, unable to see that he’s the real villain in his story.
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thoseyoulove · 3 days
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Hello,Can you rank your Armand favorite relationshipw and why ? (I just love reading opinions , nothing serious)
Hi!
Fistly, thank you for the question! I get sometimes sending messages can be uncomfortable and you may not receive the nicest answers, but you don't need to explain yourself. Whether is a fun or serious question, asking my opinion or sharing your own: I LOVE talking about this universe and always welcome it.
Anyway, now to ranking!
P.S. This is long and contain spoilers. These opinions are based on the sequence from The Vampire Lestat to The Vampire Armand and aren't necessarily permanent.
Lesmand / Armandstat
Favorite relationship on the books as a whole for basically three reasons: it's always interesting (even on its smallest moments), they are deeply mirrored so it provides a compelling dynamic and is often intense. They are two sides of the same coin and parallel one another so much in terms of personalities and experiences. From their first interaction, it already seemed that they knew each other their whole lives because they could read one another like an open book. There is this mix of unconscious, but immediate recognition, understanding, curiosity, care, attraction, insecurity, fear, anger and frustration because they're the only ones that fully get each other. It's one thing to know someone for what they share or you observe, but you only fully comprehend somebody when you have a lot in common like they do. Still, that's terrifying because you're completely bare, vulnerable and forced to confront stuff you want to run away from. They have a lot of sharp dialogue and arguments where they throw the hardest truths on the other's face and they know how to push each other's buttons from day one. Yet, the fascination, affection and protection are still there and they always stay somewhat close. And that results in a lot of first class tension: what brings both together also pulls them apart and they're often fighting so many conflicting emotions (as a duo and individuals) because they keep going back and forth. Obviously, they're far from perfect and have both tremendously hurt one another verbally, physically and with Claudia's death (which Armand's is responsible for). But even then, they were never enemies or rivals. I get why people would use such words, but I think they would need to hate or wish bad things for each other to be classified as such and that's never happened. Even if they did something to give that impression, it wasn't genuine and they made themselves suffer in the process too. There was definitely hate for words said and things done, but for the person it was always love. Through the good, the bad, the ugly and the complicated. This dynamic defies definitions and there aren't enough words in any language I know to fully and precisely categorize or desxribe even it. For better or worse, they're on a league of their own and I've never seen anything like it on books, movies or TV shows.
2. Armand x Bianca
I love Bianca. She's been such a great addition and it's a breath of fresh air whenever she appears. It was so satisfying to see them being friends, connecting and Armand having something that was entirely his own without Marius being involved (though considering the pattern of this book, it will probably change). I also enjoy the fact they met and bonded as humans, you know? There's something lovely and unique about it since most pairings had one or both parties already being a vampire on their first encounter. And another sweet thing is that even centuries later Armand still emphasizes how he'll never forget her. They have become really special to me.
3. Armand & Riccardo
Usually relationships where one is a small or Marius is somewhat involved don't work for me, but that's an exception. Riccardo isn't as developed as Armand and part of this (creepy) palazzo where Marius keeps several teenagers/children in, but you do know enough to grow attached to him. Actually, given the situation these boys are in, I ended up caring about the ones who don't even have a name. And despite the proximity Marius has to them, the kids have friendships of their own. Obviously, this isn't the healthiest environment and they all deserved better, but I'm so glad they had each other and a sense of family (specially because some of them don't even remember their own relatives well anymore). That brings me some kind of comfort. There are these moments when Armand gets emotional thinking about how much he loves them all and would die for them and when he almost does and they're all (with Bianca) crying and Armand is surprised by their reactions because they loved him so much... It really moved me So, I adore them.
4. Armandiel
The Devil's Minion chapter is one of my top favorite pieces of The Queen of the Damned. Its best aspect is seeing Armand on his self-discovery journey and how Daniel was just patient and supportive. And that's so important, because a big part of Armand's characterization is how he has no sense of identity. He's gone through so much trauma since early and formative years and always adapted to please others or even make out alive. This made him lose key parts of his memory and every sense of self and he definitely needed that. So, to see Daniel not tell him what to do, but instead let him try new stuff, see what he loved or not, on his own terms and pace and Daniel just going along with him... It was wonderful. The only downsides is that I believe Daniel deserved more individual development and it was rushed. Twelve years deserved more chapters, probably books plural. That said, I bet the show will take its strong points and only elevate their story. And I can't wait because I've already lost my mind with them on season 2 (they have my favorite scene on the show, by the way).
Honorable mentions:
Armand & Benji + Sybelle
Haven't seen a lot of them, but Armand opened his book saying he was full of love and excitedly talking about these children he took in. There's also this moment he asked David if he liked his kids and he just sounded like a proud dad. It was adorable. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of them.
Armand & his family
There's been very little of them and I doubt there will be more, so I can't talk about their relationship per se, but the chapter they say goodbye is devastating and beautiful. Those recent posts of me losing my mind were because of it. I've never cried so much with art and rarely cried like that even in real life. It was an experience I'd never had before and an emotion I didn't know was humanly possible. I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually touched to the point of exhaustion. It's been the best part of The Vampire Armand, if not of the whole chronicles. And it will stick with me forever.
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scattered-winter · 4 months
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anyone else up feeling utterly overwhelmed or nah
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eternalsilence444 · 2 months
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seeing all the girls who are in denial about the fact that they are hybrisophilacs is really annoying and freaking weird because i LOVE the girls that will just admit that that is what they are, they all have a mutual understanding of why they like who they like or why they love who they love but you'll find the occasional girl who absolutely despises anyone who even mentions the name of the person she like or loves and fighting over them with other girls who like or love them and i just can't deal with that because they're usually extremely mentally ill literally shouldn't be allowed outside probably and are a risk to themselves and you can't sit and tell them they're crazy because it's just awful to do that because they're struggling like what the fuck are you supposed to do genuinely what the fuck get well soon and start being better and admitting that you are a fucking hybrisophilac. that dead criminal is not communicating with you. if they were going to communicate with people they would not choose you for all eternity, they would most likely wanna talk to all the weirdos who think they're in love. very sorry to break it to you but if you're wanting to hurt yourself and getting angry that other girls have a crush on them you are really mentally ill. just accept you are hearing voices and you have a crush on a dead criminal it's nothing more than that. there is a lot more wrong with that than there is being a hybristo because alteast you're part of a community of like-minded individuals and you all can talk about it but if you think their crime has nothing to do with why you like them and that you're soulmates that is so unhealthy
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solace-seekers · 3 months
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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gwyoi · 4 months
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I feel like social media stole my whimsy . How can I dance and sing karaoke in public if I know it can be recorded and then I get ridiculed for being fat and ugly online 😭 it’s easy to say “who cares about what other people think” but when people dogpile and harass you on personal semi private accounts and every move you make is being watched of course you’re gonna care
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rindomness · 10 months
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really fun to talk to people while im in the middle of my "i have no control over my brain and therefore the rest of me as well" mental health crisis who don't experience that. it's like. oh, right, people out there exist who don't feel like an unwilling passenger to their own body and life. most people actually do have control over their brain in some small way. the idea of not being in control of your own existence isn't already mundane to you
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nomairuins · 2 months
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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puppyboyjay · 1 month
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trans-leek-cookie · 3 months
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i don't wanna downplay how lucky I am wrt to racism (even tho I look Asian I'm fairly pale and live in a fairly liberal area so I rarely if ever deal with real life racism) but like. Sometimes sinophobia really fucks me up. And I'm not even a real target most of the time (a lot of it is racism AND xenophobia bc it's directed toward Chinese ppl In China, plus. Half white) but god sometimes it just knocks the wind out of me
#I kinda think it's because like. I am conscious of how I benefit from colorism and living in an area where I'm not confronted with overt#Racism irl that I like. I feel like I understand where I am and then someone online comes on to remind me that actually#People still fucking hate ppl like me and consider us fucking. Subhuman#From. Least bad to worst is the fucking anon hate I got which was AGGRESSIVELY sinophobic to the point it was hilarious#(like. Hi. What are u trying to accomplish) second is the fucking. Smiths lead singer subspecies comment#(like. That's just one of his Racisms but it came out of fucking left field. Not the most upsetting but WILD). third is fuckin. Mmmm#The last post I reblogged I'm glad the poster talked about it so it's not anything against them but still it really hurt to see the kinda#Shit other ppl say y'know? 4. Is ''terrifying evidence of her being chinese'' or whatever the AO3 sinophobes said#About a woman who. Just wanted them to stop having shit that was fucking immoral in every dimension. Like genuinely that fucked me up and#It's one of the things that still just. Hurts every now and again#And number 5 is uh. Mostly ranked for reaction at the time someone responding to the ''place/place Japan/place China'' meme by saying some#Shit like. ''japan has anime and china has a dude who ate a baby'' (it was a 6 mo fetus allegedly and honestly probably a prop which is why#It's a lot less upsetting now) but genuinely seeing that really fucked w my mental health for a period of time. Anyway goodbye 👋#I'm going to think about characters now love y'all 💟
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cogbreath · 1 year
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there is a genuine part of me that struggles to accept and cope with farquaads death
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beansnpeets · 2 years
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Gonna ask my boss for a raise tomorrow I think. I do not make enough money right now. Period. Like I get by okay because Jon is supporting me financially, but if I were to be on my own I'd never get by.
The way prices have been going up on everything is insane. I didn't realize how much I'd been spending on groceries. I'm spending a LOT more than I should have to on just groceries. I'm so beyond frustrated and afraid. I'm tired. I'm anxious. Everything is falling apart and there is nothing I can do.
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autistic-shaiapouf · 2 years
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Live hurricane updates got me like
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eepyjay · 1 month
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bough
#I hate spiraling#I managed to stop before it got worse but now I’m just still in a state from the spiraling and I’m just. I’m so tired of thinking I’m dying#everyday it’s so exhausting and the fear is never ending and the worry that maybe I am really dying and I have no idea bc I’m scared to go#to the doctor and then it’s my fault I waited so long etc. and then it’s like if I am what have I even done with my life? what is there to#be proud of or look at and feel fulfilled? atp in my life I have wasted my life I’ve done nothing and I’m rotting away and it’s like if I#found out I was dying it’s like that’s all I got I wasted so much time etc. and I’m just spiraling out tonight man it sucks I hate this I#hate my brain I just want to be fucking normal and not be scared everyday that I’m genuinely dying and it’s my fault and that I’m wasting my#life away not doing so many things I wanted to and like you think well jay shouldn’t that encourage you to live life to the fullest of your#ability? and yeah I’d love to but then my head just thinks all those things again and the cycle repeats and I just am so terrified as soon#as something in my body hurts or something is off etc. because my immediate thought is just its fucking over man and I’m too scared to go#to the doctor about things and I’m just repeating shit now I’m sorry if anyone Ben reads this far I’m obviously having a night#I’m just talking to the wall with this post but it helps me calm down a little I guess#god I need a therapist I stopped looking but I think it’s time I get back on that and quick because I really don’t think I can keep living#this way anymore it is so genuinely exhausting and I dont know how to help myself with it#sorry if anyone gets a peek at this actually. I obviously need help and this is just an outlet for me rn ig
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forgetmenotsystem · 2 months
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