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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

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Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

#symphogear #recap #anime #comedy #sponsored by taco bell

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 5 years

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just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)”

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class”

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!!

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

#vent #rant #i sincerely doubt anyone will read to the end of this but whomst knows #besides it feels nice to just scream

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journeysintowebcomics · 7 years

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Homestuck Liveblog #170

UPDATE 170: Dave Gets His Epiphany

Last time Hussie had decided it was time to pour even more dialogue onto the readers, since last time it hadn’t been enough, hah! Ten different dialogue options – presented linearly, in a subversion of how this usually goes. So let’s continue with what may or may not be the last chance these characters have of talking to each other before the fights.

So I heard that hovering over the options one already cleared would show images, and that was right! There are images. It seems Dave and Dirk continue just...lying around awkwardly, and Vriska and her ghost are arguing while Meenah fantasizes about varied stuff. There’s more than can be done, although the very next option is Roxy being alone. She’s still trying to create the matriorb. Calliope is sitting right in front of her, in silent support role. Roxy channels the universe and Alternia’s complicated state of matters, and...

Well! Mission accomplished! That was easier than I thought it’d be, even with Calliope’s silent help. I suppose there wasn’t more time for delaying this any longer. Kanaya is going to be immensely happy the troll race will be resurrected now. This was a short detour, completely devoid of words but with a significant development – at least to complete quite some part of Roxy and Kanaya’s arcs and goals in this story.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Roxy and Calliope leave right when the bizarre combination that is Jasprosesprite arrives to hassle Jane for a while longer. I’m crossing my fingers this’ll be quick and painless.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Miss me Rose? JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you know I love you?? Weird thing for me to say and you to hear, probably! JASPROSESPRITE^2: I inherited the adoration our cat had for you, which now strangely is directed with the exact same intensity at myself, because I'm you! JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funnily enough this manifests itself in a particularly acute form of narcissism, which is something we were already sort of afflicted by, and so was our cat by the very nature of the sort of animal he was! JASPROSESPRITE^2: The bottom line is I'm pretty twisted up inside in all the most beautiful ways and it's wonderful. ROSE: It really isn't.

Haha, okay, that one was actually pretty funny. She’s not wrong, Rose, you do tend to have slight traces of narcissism in your personality. Guess that all the increased narcissism in this sprite is what makes it have absolutely no brain-mouth filter, what with having an inflated sense of the self and what one says. Being a cat can’t help that either.

Now that Jasperosesprite made the customary hassling towards Rose, she gets straight to business about the battle plan. She has to arrange with Jane how it’ll be done, after all. This is achieved by taking Jane away without even giving her a moment to prepare. There’s someone she needs to meet, somebody in Jane’s planet.

Ah, true, the denizen. The New Wonderkids’ session was rather lacking in information about the denizens, especially since this session was meant to do pretty much nothing. Given Hussie’s track record so far, I’m almost completely sure that Jane’s talk with the denizen will happen off-screen and the characters will talk about it once it’s done, so...no more option than waiting until this is done!

Damn it , I have been bamboozled! Well played, Hussie, you had me fooled, I admit it. This could be good, though, not everyday you meet a senior version of yourself that’s dressed as a clown and...is the mother of your father. This is time-travel-gone-wrong levels of weird.

Aw, come on, Hussie, I wanted to see this! But nope, just when Nannasprite got in front of Jane the section ended and went to the next. Oh well. I’m really hoping I’ll have the chance to see how this goes, but I’m not going to hold my breath over it. The scribbled images of what the rest of the options are doing show John and Terezi discussing how Rose could have a black romance status with, uh, a version of herself. Yeeeeeeah no, let’s not do that. Doesn’t seem healthy – just ask Karkat, it’d be a headache.

About Roxy and Calliope, they just arrived to what I think is Jade’s planet, and Calliope is told to stay with Jade. I had completely forgotten Jade is still asleep. It’s once again said that it’s nice to have Calliope around. And...that was it! I just summarized around six or so pages in this very short paragraph.

I think that goes way beyond the realm of kismesis behavior Rose...and out of the realm of sanity as well. Stay away from any copies of the Sassacre book, resist the temptation. Anyways, Dave and Dirk are still here. Going to try to talk again? They’re focusing more on the battle to come than on anything else. Hah! No progress on the heartfelt conversation front, apparently.

DAVE: hes got lord english powers tho

It could be a way to know how well a fight against Lord English would go, then. Sure, Union Jack is completely different, less bulky, has no time powers, and presumably has one single personality in that noggin of his instead of being a weird amalgamation, but it’d be a way to see if they are ready to fight against Lord English. Think of it as having training wheels on your bike.

Swords can’t help you solve problems with people, who’d have thought. Dirk and Jake are the closest example to how someone who has spent their formative years alone and without the presence of people around would behave: with no social skills at all. Jade got very lucky in that regard, she is very well-balanced for someone who grew on an island and only had a dog for company. Then again, her Dreamself must have been of help, the Prospitians must have helped her have some people skills.

DIRK: ... DAVE: ...

Nothing has changed here.

It takes a few pages more before Dirk takes the plunge headfirst down the emotional cliff, with all the grace of a novice. It does get the conversation going, mostly about how this isn’t how he pictured the meeting going.

DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew.

These two are much more similar than they each realize. Their upbringings aren’t that different, heck, I’d say that Lil’ Hal fulfilled the role Bro had, just with less sword attacks. Other than that it was pretty much the same, an isolated life with an aloof person/glasses in the vicinity. Come on, Dave, admit you idolized Bro. That’d be a great step towards turning the page in your life and bonding with Dirk, you can do it!

DAVE: ive got to say DAVE: meeting you DAVE: its not rockin my world here DAVE: or upending any paradigms or whatever DAVE: listening to you and looking at you DAVE: it really really just DAVE: reminds me of him

Close enough! I’m a bit downtrodden there was no exchange of words between Bro and Dave so I could have a reference on how similar this actual situation is to how they got along. I imagine Bro wasn’t that different from Dirk.

DIRK: Things, between you and me, from your perspective, um, DIRK: Are we like, not cool? DAVE: ..................

I’m not sure if it’s telling or not that there was no ‘yeah’ or similar quick response.

DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok?

...

...okay, that isn’t how I thought it’d go. I suppose there’s a difference between idolizing and actually liking a person. Good for you for saying it aloud, Dave. It must have been very difficult to say to anybody, even more to a version of your brother.

After a sequence of images meant to show how little time passed between Dave going “I don’t want to talk about it” to “okay heres what im saying” he finally starts...and boy is it tough.

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me DAVE: but thats not how it was

That’s pretty much how kids and teenagers are, they complain and don’t realize sometimes such complaints aren’t about things as bad as they could be. Leaving behind such behavior is part of growing up. Dave didn’t realize how badly he was being treated, though, he just saw no difference between his life and the lives of the rest of his friends – at first.

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?! DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof" DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me

...hated you? Hm...honestly? I don’t know. Bro’s way of raising Dave had a lot of things wrong, and I really don’t know how to interpret it. I’m interested on knowing how other people interpreted it. Would you mind telling me your thoughts, everyone? I really don’t know what to think about this.

Dirk actually sounds horrified about what he’s hearing. Perhaps he doesn’t like the thought of his equivalent doing this all?

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot

Haha...you know what this brought to mind? What went through my head right when I read this part?

TT: Don't worry, that's normal. TT: Upon activation he goes into Stalking Mode. GT: Stalking mode?? TT: Yes. He will stalk you in the jungle and strike when your guard is down.

It’s exactly that. Dave pretty much described the robot Dirk made and sent to Jake. It’s pretty much the same in terms of how Dave was raised! Wow, Hussie, did you do this on purpose? I think you did this on purpose! Dave may as well have been raised by the brobot thing, and just like Jake – who dreaded encountering it and once he had to fight it didn’t precisely have loads of fun – Dave now doesn’t want to fight. He wants to avoid this fighting thing, and hates that he has to be the one to grab the sword and slay the villain.

You seriously screwed up here, Bro.

Dave even brings up that maybe things would have been better if Lil’ Cal hadn’t been around. Maybe! The influence of Lord English can’t be an ingredient in a healthy household – even more since part of Lord English is once another version of Dirk. Hah! Life sucks for the Striders. It’s...it’s rather depressing, actually. I wonder if at the time they had to cram Caliborn into the puppet Dave realized what Lil’ Cal was. Even if he did, I doubt he’d have any kind of reaction when anyone was nearby, but at that moment I imagine many things clicked in Dave’s head.

Would Bro have been any different if that puppet of the damned hadn’t been around? Uh...I dunno. Maybe it really was a poisonous influence of some sort, influence Dirk was lucky not to have. It’s all up to interpretation, I’d say.

I think now that the epiphany is complete I can stop the update and continue next time. This, though, this is exactly what I was hoping the Striders would do, that at least one of them would unload this heavy emotional baggage, and it’s for the better! I’m glad it’s actually happening.

Next update: three updates

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

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argaliaofficial · 7 years

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i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked.

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs.

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends.

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids.

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew.

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever”

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!”

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me.

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened.

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal.

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that.

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic.

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky.

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

#av talks #text #THIS IS HEAVY #rape mention #abuse mention

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krykir-blog · 8 years

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My Experience With Transitioning

fuck me im just copying and pasting what I’ve done up until now

Info already so right now i think im nonbinary but i think i might be completely trans idk (edit later in time: i can say for sure I am completely trans, not just nonbinary.), ive felt this way for a while and my bud sen helped me figure it all out bc i was hella confused and i felt very masculine. A year and a few months ago I cut my hair super short and realized that this was how I've always wanted it because oh my god if i ever grew long hair again id want to die, i hate it and i hated how I looked. So that was that and i was like that for a while and I think sometime during the summer of 2015 i figured out what I wanted to be called (ryan). I started out w/ having people on the internet call me that and it was awesome, but kinda weird having people in real life call me by my birth name and it was really odd. Then October came and my stepcousin was getting married- during that wedding was when i told my dad and stepmum i wanted to be called ryan so I consider that to be the time when I actually started transitioning. It took a painfully long time to get my mother on board to be honest, her boyfriend (who is now her ex) was actually down with it right away but of course he didn't call me or my brother that because it would've been awkward, but we had some late night talks about it frequently. When they broke up it was kinda iffy but I think it was soon after that happened that she started calling me and my brother by our preferred names. At a party my parents went to one night they told all their friends about me and my brother and we've been enrolled in a study, which is 6 MRI's total. I've already had 3 MRI's and let me tell you, they suck, but I think later next year I'm gonna have to get my next round- just basically contribution to help trans people or anyone taking hormones to transition. This year I got into high school and I'm going to a place that's pretty far away from where my last school was, so no one there knows me or that I'm female- I'm completely authentic and I think that's pretty cool, it's what I wanted. So far I think that's all you need to know lmao if I have more info to put down i probably will. Thank you guys for the support, i love you <3 8/29/16 First injection of testosterone. No changes yet ofc, but I found that I was hardly hurt by the needle so now I'm a lot more excited lmao. (Dose amount is currently 0.1 ML) 9/5/16 Second injection. Of course, no changes yet, so there's not much to say except this was my first time doing it at home. stepmum did it tbh, it still surprises me at how much it doesnt hurt lmao 9/12/16 Third injection bois. No really noticeable changes yet however i think i have a bit more hair growth from where the bellybutton is down to the nether areas which is still something and I'll take it xD I'm starting to think I prefer shots in the arm tho. Surprisingly they don't hurt as much as far as I can tell?? it's pretty neat lmao 9/19/16 Still no noticeable changes. I can now say for sure that shots hurt less in the arm than the leg, surprisingly enough at least for me lmao one month b o i s 9/26/16 (sorry for being super late with updating this one) still no noticeable changes yet, dosage is still small as all hell >> 10/3/16 No noticeable changes that I can identify, but I have a friend who told me that my voice is deeper. regardless of that, it's not at all by much at least to me and there's still nothing super noticeable and it's rather irritating. 10/7/16 Not a shot, but my first MRI after getting the three baseline scans before I got testosterone. I got my blood drawn more than I ever have and it got to the point where my vision became brightly dotted and my ears started ringing like mad, it was awful, i thought i was gonna pass out. But the MRI itself was actually a lot better than my last three scans, theyve made so many improvements to make it less anxiety inducing. 4/6 MRIs done, 1/3 blood draws done. 10/10/16 SEVENTH SHOT OF T I'VE BEEN OVER THE MOON TODAY THO 'CAUSE I'M GETTING MY DANK ASS FRIEND A BINDER AS fOR the actual T, I haven't noticed any super big changes but my friends are like "yeah jesus christ ur voice is deeper" so I GUESS THATS THAT I also started recording my voice after the sixth shot so ill keep up w/ that too as much as I can 10/17/16 Still no noticeable changes to me, however we got new needles and the measurements are different and it's weird but ye nothing super exciting to say I guess hhh sorry for being so slow at updating this rip 10/24/16 This time the needle really hurt and idk why but oh well. Still no noticeable changes besides more hair growth on my legs and the happy trail area. I compared my voice now to my 6th shot and there's no distinct difference >> i really wish my dosage was higherrrr Also for some reason I keep having dreams of me with longer hair?? it's really not okay :'D I don't recognize pictures of myself with long hair anymore tho so I guess that's something. 10/31/16 -ok so i dont remember getting a shot this day but w/e, im late to updating it- still no noticeable changes 11/7/16 SO I GAVE MYSELF A SHOT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WAS AWFUL 1- I PRICKED MY FINGER AND IT STARTED BLEEDING A LOT AND IT STILL HURTS 2- WHEN I ACTUALLY PUT IT IN MY ARM I DIDNT PUT IT IN DEEP ENOUGH SO IT ALL STARTED COMING OUT AND I WAS BLEEDING A LOT IM SICK FROM SCHOOL TODAY AND I HAD DETERMINATION TO DO IT BUT I DIDNT DO WELL 11/14/16 soRRY FOR BEING AWFUL AT UPDATING i had a really shitty monday this most recent monday but its ok my friend brought their trans bf over and watched me and my borther put in our shots and it was chill no noticeable changes to report i dont think 11/21/16 Nothing special to report, the needle kinda stung tho oddly 11/28/16 AAAND MY DOSAGE IS NOW 0.2 BOIS I GO BACK IN 3 MONTHS AND ITLL PROBS BE UPPED TO 0.3 BUT IM EXCITED I loved the nurse who drew my blood lmao she was really cool, i love the people who work in that office so much. They're all so nice ;v; I have a bit more acne and my doctor said my voice sounded a bit deeper, so I guess I'll take it. Things should hopefully speed up at 0.2. 12/5/16 Second shot on 0.2! It didn't hurt as bad as the last one which is good~ I've been noticing more acne on my face nd shoulders which is also hella //well in progress terms it is 12/12/16 YOU GUYS MY VOICE IS GETTING MORE RASPY AND I CAN CRACK IT ALL OVER THE PLACE EASIER THAN I COULD BEFORE ITS NOT SUPER NOTICEABLE YET BUT IM GETTING THERE IM EXCITE SORRY FOR BEING SHITTY AT UPDATING THIS ITS OK 12/19/16 BREATHES NOTHING SUPER NOTEWORTHY BUt my voice iS noticeably going down- not a ton buT AGAIN ITS GETTING THERE ;V; My arm really hurts tho for the first time after and idk why 'cause the shot iddnt hurt at all 12/25/16 Not a shot but just a lil random update ;;v; MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ERRYONE BY THE WAY, I HOPE YOU ALL HAd a great day! sO onto the stuff Today I got an assload of money and I'm deciding to spend a lot of it on a packer and a packing harness. I already bought the harness but I'm gonna have my dad order the packer since there's no good ones on amazon hhhh buT YE IM PUMPED ILL HAVE A BULGE 12/30/16 HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS MY VOICE IS GETTING REALLY NOTICEABLY DEEP IM LITERALLY SCREAMING [link] 1/5/17 I GOT MY PACKER MOTHERFUCKERS ITS HUGE AND ITS GREAT AND IVE GOT A DICK NOW 1/9/17 This is the day I officially became male. This is the day I officially became Ryan. I never have to write my birth name ever again. I am so fucking happy. The judge was super super nice and I was anxious as fuck but it ended up super well. Voice is still getting deeper and im getting hairier in some places, it's great~

#transgender #transitioning #ftm #femaletomale #testosterone #updates #lgbt

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howlofwinter · 4 years

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Why I left the band

1) Issues with IRL meetups and schedule. This was before lockdown mind you throughout 2019. X basically couldn't reliably leave his house for practise, nor guarantee gigs even in our town. We turned down a gig that was in the next town which at the time me and Y hated. Meanwhile Y was technically living in a different city (something he did without consulting us) and while he was in town for three days a week he wasn’t a “free agent” who could do sessions whenever. He could normally only do one evening session. It just seemed very impractical to be a band that couldn’t meet to write, rehearse etc. At the same time X and Y were both adamant that it was totally fine and it still could work. While I felt there was a big disconnect between what they said that wanted to be as a band and their actual ability to meetup. Our last gig I had to basically beg for more rehearsal time because I’d barely played through the song with the band all the way through with all my parts written. There was also this idea that we could be “an internet band” where meeting was more of an additional activity, rather than a primary way of exchanging ideas. I really hated this idea. I can see it working for some, especially electronic acts etc. But we weren’t good at working in our own time and this was something before 2019 that we had highlighted a lot. Additionally my mac was pretty slow and we’d all need the same plugins for it work smoothly and I was confident that my mac wouldn’t keep up. Much of making music together is being in the room and exchanging ideas on the fly. Trying things again but in different ways. Change the chord scheme, change the dynamics, change the bassline etc. This new method only allows us to use recorded ideas. I was very close to leaving in 2019 because of this schedule issue. I even wrote an angsty email to our acting manager about it. They just didn’t seem to want to be in it anymore in terms of dedicating time. 2) It became too metal. And creative differences. I wrote about 10 tracks that just was never used. At a certain point when your input is rebuffed and denied - it stops feeling like a band you are equally a part of. X and Y wrote songs that we didn’t work on too, and so this wasn’t unique, but I felt like I didn't have anything to offer that they were really interested in. Even stuff I was proud of and very happy with, they didn't want to appropriate it or rework it etc. While some of the finished tracks weren’t really my style to begin with I still wanted to work on other people’s ideas. I felt like this wasn’t returned to me. It was less about them rejecting a certain amount of my ideas, and more that I felt like I wasn’t really of use to the creative process. Why would I want to stay in a band where my output isn’t valued. 3) Intrusive thoughts. I found it difficult hearing about Y’s girlfriend (Z) all the time and I was having intrusive thoughts related to that whole saga. We would be in session talking about this and that and my brain would be elsewhere. I had desires to lash out verbally at Y all the time and answer questions sarcastically turning unrelated questions back on to Y about the Z saga. So yeah this really tipped the scales from being unsure about whether it was the right band - to knowing that it wasn’t for me anymore. I told X about this and how I didn’t want to do this anymore and he basically encouraged me to quit now rather than later as it would be easier for them. And so that was that - I left. I still feel awkward with Y now, and I feel like our friendship was strained too far because of what he did. Time and distance seemed like the only thing that would repair things. I’d already given it a year and things weren’t getting better so I don’t regret leaving when I did. 4) Those are the primary reasons. Here are some additional things that were bothersome but weren’t direct reasons I left - more observations/concerns. I just want to write them to get them out of my system. i - Money. I didn’t have money to actually invest in studio time. While X was very kind to offer to pay it for me, it would probably cause issues later down the line. Studio time is vital, as is money to tour. I didn’t have that money so I didn’t see how I could stay. ii - Ability. We started writing a couple of tracks that I couldn’t play, and much like my other band that I left, rather than simplifying it - I was just expected to get better. I learnt one of them but the other one I never got. iii - Fashion. We had lots of discussions where X would try and show things he wanted me to wear on stage. I felt like I was being told to pretend to be someone I’m not and I really didn’t like the ideas and style he was interested in. Skinny jeans and black tshirts. I felt like it was quite generic and boring. Our acting manager gave other ideas like “be aggressive, bold, memorable” which I could understand a lot more. Regardless there were lots of gigs we did where I didn’t like what other members wore. I think we had clear differences in what stage wear is and what the aesthetic we wanted to have. iv - No replacement member. We never replaced our original guitarist. We didn’t really want to in a creative sense, but it limited what we could actually perform. Compositions needed to work within 4 tracks (guitar/drums/bass/vocals) or they were essentially a waste of time. When we did want to find a replacement it proved too difficult. We had three suitable candidates and none could sing. v - Direction. When we identified our scheduling issues in 2019, my idea was to take gigging off the table and to simply write an album of ideas that we were happy with. However once we finished working on our two new ideas, immediately there was desire to record it. X argued that it would avoid us fading into obscurity. And while I saw the logic behind it, if we knew we couldn’t gig, why were we investing into a product that couldn’t be sold. Spotify is great, but it doesn’t actually pay anything (at least in our case). This was a huge investment and I wasn’t that hot on the songs in question so I had two strong motives to disagree. But to make matters worst I really disliked the sound of the producer we decided to get into contact with - but I had no alternative option. When I heard a work in progress bounce of the song they’d worked on with the producer - I felt like it was so removed from the band I once was in, despite working on said song only a few months ago. This was positive to me because it showed that leaving was the right thing to do and that even if I had stayed that I wouldn’t be happy with our newest song/product/investment. vi - Gigs with bad pay. I will make a separate post about this because it really was infuriating. Selling out a gig as the headliners, and making £60 just felt like a robbery. Most venues took either ALL the money from tickets and drinks, or they gave you £1 or £2 per ticket while keeping the remainder. If you bring 60 people to a gig, and they all buy 3 drinks, you’ve made that venue (roughly) £900 on drinks. Assuming they make £5 per ticket thats another £300 (£1200 total). Of course that's not direct profit and I don’t claim to understand the finances of venues. But when you’re the reason that people left their home to come to the venue - why do we get £60 for 60 tickets and you get £1200. And that was a best case scenario. Most venues didn’t pay us anything. Some would offer us fuel money at most. But what could we do. We needed to perform and none of us knew how to negotiate better deals. But it did feel awful to do everything right and to put on a good show for a bunch of people and have nothing to show for it. vii - Y’s poor communication and poor planning. This was something that we did address from time to time but still was annoying. There were a couple of times where he left the country entirely and only told us about it once he’d left. One event that made me quite angry was when we spent a few hundred pounds on a video which required us to perform to a metronome. We knew this before we booked it. Our acting manager additionally reminded us. The video editor told us about it. On the day he didn’t use it because he thought it was more important to have an MP3 play off his phone for our intro - than use a metronome for the video. Yet he never thought of mentioning this to us and we didn’t know until the video editor told us. The video isn’t great, and I attribute that entirely to the lack of metronome. I wouldn’t care that much if it was a free video, but it cost us a lot of money and it was essentially a huge waste of both the money and the opportunity. There was also just the way we’d start a session, get things rolling and he’d suddenly go and cook dinner. Sometimes this was only 10 minutes and it wasn’t a big deal. Other times he would cook stuff from scratch. When he had Z round he would spend time speaking to her every time we walked past the room. It wasn’t uncommon for our sessions to have 30 minutes cut out of them where he was eating. I have no problem with having a break but at moments it felt like he was wasting my time and it wasn’t something he was committed to. Another thing is while Y is a fantastic musician, it was very obvious when he hadn’t been practising at all because his tempos would be incredibly sloppy. There was only so many times I could bring this up without being rude so at some point I just stopped. viii - No photographer. We asked so many different people to take photos of us. We even payed one of them. They almost never came out good. This made our achievements go largely undocumented. To me it was always really clear that our image of being a band is more important than actually doing the ground work - but again we never fixed the issue. There are little to no images of us even playing in our home town. As far as our facebook page is concerned we hardly did any gigs ix - Time required per song. It became very obvious from an early point that we were slow at writing songs. We were together for about 5 years or so, and in that time we gigged maybe 12 songs. Before almost every gig we’d talk about how it was ridiculous and how we should write more and stop being fussy. But actually putting that into practise never happened and it became increasingly obvious that our creative process was hurting our own momentum. While I think we were all happy with the work we did together, you can only do the same gig so many times. This was made even worse by point 2. There was plenty of ideas to work on. But instead people would write new ideas, that were very often deemed unfitting for us as a group. So on one hand we have a large amount of raw creative output and potential songs, but on the other hand we have very few finished ideas or even ideas deemed worthy to complete and as time went on this was a theme of the band. In reflection I just wish people worked on other people’s ideas more rather than writing it off without even trying to rearrange it. x- Style and writing method change. I did mention this with the second point but just to go into more detail. The project started as a progressive rock act. Our goal was to write interesting rock music with meaningful lyrics. We would work on songs by improvising entirely, or working on chord schemes and ideas would slowly evolve over time. We would add our own parts/layers individually and it was very fluid with sections being added and tweaked over time. But conversely this meant songs were somewhat up in the air for a while and it was hard to judge the merits of a project - meaning time could be invested into a project for no pay out. At a certain point X decided that it would be better if we brought more finished ideas to sessions and then allowed the band to appropriate them and I agreed. But in hindsight I think it was stupid to commit to this being the only viable way. While it was easy for people to play along to other people’s ideas and make a song in the process, it was slightly different when the bulk of song is done and you are required to learn their parts. or re work their parts, or rework their song. X would bring songs in their entirety and I guess it was often hard to see them as something I wanted to invest time into adapting to our own tastes. Even on the ideas that made it - usually sections got boycotted and new ones had to be created. So the writing process moved out of the rehearsal room where we each commit our own parts - into DAWs and people coming up with their own songs - only for us to delete most of that song and write new parts and sections. So did it save time? I doubt it. While there were tracks where this method worked out well, I know our former member felt like they couldn’t contribute with this writing style and I suppose I agree somewhat. The entire point of being in a band is to collaborate. I hate to think about how much time was spent collectively - working on entire songs on our own, just for the rest of the band to veto the project. In terms of batting averages, Im certain that even X had more projects that were discarded by the band than they were used. An interesting question is would these ideas have been veto’d if they were brought to the band without being “finished” by solo members. On a similar note to this is X’s prevalence in creative control. Generally I enjoyed working with X and I have no hard feelings towards him. But something that our departed member mentioned (W for now) is that the the longer X was in the band the more more control X had, the more control X had the more things turned away from making prog rock, and more into metal. And thus, W and to a certain extend myself felt alienated and that our ideas weren’t fitting with the bands image. But really it was X’s image of the band that we weren’t fitting. While we were happy to go along with his ideas, he often didn’t return the favour. To some degree I think everyone should be able to say that they don’t like a song, and to be able to veto an idea if they really don’t like it or see its merits. But by the end of my time in the band we had so many veto’d ideas that it was ridiculous Something Y suggested was that we stop veto’ing ideas on work on songs we don’t really like that much so that we have content. To diversify the band’s style. But again X didn’t want to actually do this. I think ultimately X wanted something different out of the band than I did (and that W did). While I don’t mind doing some more metal esque songs, there has to be balance. And overall there really wasn’t. Now that I’m outside of the band, I can see that very clearly. Looking in iTunes I have the bounces where I spent time working on my own ideas that weren’t used. There was about four ideas that I worked on with Y that we liked and we wanted to use but ultimately they were shelved because they weren’t metal. And what makes this even more frustrating is that we even cited that we needed more variety in our songs in terms of mood and atmosphere. That a good set can’t all be aggressive. That actually downtime, and calmer tracks would make the more aggressive tracks stand out and be more effective. But this was never achieved. Unfortunately I do think X is largely to blame for that. If I give you a song and you don’t like that song, how can I change that song so that you do like it. Really that work has to come from you.

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kkoehn17 · 6 years

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Last week I released my list of goals for 2019, but before I can truly dive into those new ones, let’s see how I did on my goals for 2018.

1) Do a handstand

COMPLETED

While I can’t say I can walk to work in full handstand while carrying my purse with my feet, I have come SO FAR from the beginning of the year.

2) Take a kickboxing class

COMPLETED

Guys. Seriously, take a kickboxing class. I mean, I figured I’d like it. Love it, even. But I didn’t realize it would be therapeutic. I genuinely worked through some things while I was punching and kicking that damn bag. So it’s safe to say that I will definitely make my way back to some classes in 2019.

3) Visit (at least) 20 museums in Los Angeles

WILL CONTINUE IN 2019

I only ended up making it to 8 museums this year, which is a bummer, but not that surprising when I look back at how busy my 2018 was. Instead of just letting it go however, I decided to make finishing this goal one of my goals for 2019. Hopefully this year I’ll find some more spare weekends to get out and see some ‘seums.

4) Get CPR certified

COMPLETED

That’s right, folks! According to the certificate that was emailed to me by the Red Cross, I am officially CPR and First Aid certified! I can officially save your life (if you’re having a minor crisis that was covered by the training)!!

If you’re interested in getting certified, you can find more information here.

5) Shoot (at least) 1 roll of film per month

(ESSENTIALLY) COMPLETED

I fell off a little at the end, but I shot 13 total rolls of film this year so I’m calling it good. I absolutely love that I set this goal and the pictures turned out SO COOL. Here are a few of my favorites:

6) Complete the 104 things to Photograph book

NOT QUITE

Yeahhhhhh. I just didn’t get around to this one, to be honest. I thought it would tie in really well with my film goal, but I just didn’t put in the effort to take pictures that corresponded to the prompts in the book. As of now, I could probably fill half of it, and while I will continue to fill it, I just couldn’t do it in one year.

7) Visit the sea glass beach in Fort Bragg, CA

FULLY PLANNED

I have worked out all the details needed to take this trip, and my roommates and I have thrown out potential dates. So while we didn’t take this trip in 2018, I think we will definitely make time for it in 2019.

8) Go to the dentist

COMPLETED

Yes, I went to the dentist. No, it was not fun.

9) Watch 20 documentaries

COMPLETED

This was another goal that I loved more than I thought I would. There are SO MANY documentaries out there that cover SO MANY different topics. And since I’m already someone that loves dropping fun facts, watching these documentaries this year gave me more material than I knew what to do with!

If you’re interested, these are the ones that I watched. I put my favorites in bold!

Happy (Netflix)

The Mortified Guide (Netflix)

The Mortified Sessions (Netflix)

Minimalism (Netflix)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (Amazon)

Three Identical Strangers (Amazon)

Amanda Knox (Netflix)

Icarus (Netflix)

Evil Genius (Netflix)

The White Helmets (Netflix)

Tiny Shoulders (Hulu)

Conor McGregor: Notorious (Netflix)

The Mind of Jake Paul (YouTube)

Zion (Netflix)

Seeing Allred (Netflix)

Ballet Now (Hulu)

Becoming Bond (Hulu)

The Barkley Marathons (Amazon)

Blue Planet 2 (Netflix)

Batman & Bill (Hulu)

10) Perfect an omelet

DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO ANYMORE?

Yeah, I don’t really know what to say about this one. I mean, I had every intention of learning to make an omelette and I constantly mentioned buying a new pan that would help me do so, but then I just kind of…didn’t want an omelet? I don’t know. I guess I was really craving them in 2017, craving them enough to make perfecting them a goal for 2018, but here in 2019, I just want hard boiled eggs in my lunch box and fried eggs on my burgers. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11) See (at least) one movie in theaters per month

ONLY MISSED DECEMBER

Similar to the film goal, I did fall short at the end on this one, but I think I more than made up for it the rest of the year.

Here are all the movies I saw in theaters this year. And again, my favorites are in bold! 🙂

I, Tonya

Call Me By Your Name

Maze Runner: The Death Cure

50 Shades Freed

Red Sparrow

I Can Only Imagine

A Quiet Place

Book Club

Incredibles 2

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

Three Identical Strangers

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again

Eighth Grade

Skate Kitchen

Crazy Rich Asians

A Star is Born

Bohemian Rhapsody

12) Read 20 books off the Time’s 100 List

COMPLETED

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it one thousand times: AUDIOBOOKS. They are the only reason I made it through this goal, and since finishing Time’s list is on my 30 Before 30 list, I’m sure they’ll be the driving force behind completing that as well. #teamaudiobooks

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Dear God, it’s Me Margaret

On the Road

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie

Lord of the Flies

To the Lighthouse

The Day of the Locust

The Great Gatsby

To Kill a Mockingbird

Never Let Me Go

Revolutionary Road

The Painted Bird

Red Harvest

The Big Sleep

Mrs. Dalloway

The Moviegoer

Housekeeping

A Clockwork Orange

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold

1984

13) Pay off credit card

MAKING PROGRESS

About halfway through the year I had to pull the plug on this one because I just didn’t have the resources to continue, but I’ve since got back on track and am making progress slowly but surely!

14) See 3 WRLA’s

COMPLETED

While on a trip to Seattle and Canada in March, I was able to complete this goal, seeing the World’s Largest Cowboy Hat & Boots in Seattle, WA, the World’s Largest Paper Airplane in Mukilteo, WA, and the World’s Largest Tin Solider in New Westminster, BC, Canada!

15) Volunteer (at least) 5 times

COMPLETED

After what seemed like a promising start, I once again found myself scrambling a little bit at the end. I did get my five slots in, but it wasn’t without a little sweat and frantic planning. The main charities I volunteered for this year were Food Forward and Children’s Hunger Fund. Check them out!

16) Donate Blood

COMPLETED

Yes, I did it! Was it my favorite thing ever? No. But will I do it again because it’s an easy way to help out? Definitely!

Find out more about donating blood here.

17) Do the 1 second/day video challenge

COMPLETED!

This was probably the most stressful goal for me because I was constantly having to remember to film a second for each day, but I genuinely love how it turned out. Shout out to everyone in the video! You are all reasons why this video/year turned out great because you were part of some of my favorite moments of 2018 🙂

youtube

Overall, I’d say this was a very successful year! It was a little crazy, a little blurry, and a little bit overwhelming, but I’m very thankful for all that it had to offer.

Now we’re off into the mysterious world of 2019!

I hope it treats you well and that you feel inspired to go for it! Whatever it may be for you. ❤

You can read more about the goals I set for 2019 here.

And if you’re looking for inspiration on goals you should set this year, check out this post!

2018 Goals Final Wrap Up Last week I released my list of goals for 2019, but before I can truly dive into those new ones, let's see how I did on my goals for 2018.

#blogging #fun #goals #goals for 2018 #Goals I&039;ve Set #inspiration #journal #life #motivation #new years resolutions #personal

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shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog · 6 years

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Car and Insurance for Teen driver?

"Car and Insurance for Teen driver?

I'm 16, turning 17 this year living in Houston, TX I have had my license since August of 2009 and Insurance twice from August to November I think, and from January I believe, until now. I never had any accident, finished Driver's Ed., and have 3.6 GPA. I'm getting my own car now, and I'm looking for low price car with good reliability and low insurance cost. Which car and which insurance company would be the best for me? I'm looking for something cool, sporty. I can drive manual.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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My vehicle was vandalized two weeks ago. I was not satisfied with the way my insurance company handled my case. I'm thinking about switching to another insurance company, any recomendations?""

What is the cheapest 50cc Moped / scooter insurance for a 16 year old ?

I have been look everywhere for cheap moped / scooter insurance and the cheapest I can see is 320 for third party only. I wanted third party fire and theft, but it doesn't look like I'll be able to afford that if third party is so expensive. The scooter I have is from Direct bikes. It's the sports DB50QT-11. I'm from Scotland and have no convictions. Answers really appreciated. Thanks :)""

Do car insurance rate drop when one turns 25?

If so, how much? I'll be 25 in 3 weeks.""

Insurance cost for jeep patriot?

I am currently thinking of buying a 2008 jeep patriot. I am worried if the unsurance cost for it would be high?

How much is the average price of veneer on your teeth ( average price)?

Only done to the front two teeth.

Farmes Car Insurance?

I had a accident on the freeway a girl hi tme from behind and she had farmers insurance are they good at fixing other peoples cars when their cutomers are at fault

How Much Is Car Insurance? Please Help?

Ok See im 16 and i have a 1990 Pontiac Firebird and I have a Junior License Year: 1990 Make: Pontiac Model: Firebird Trim: Engine: 6-Cylinder V-6 Trans: Auto Fuel: Gasoline Color: Black Interior: Grey Miles: 170000

How much for Health Insurance?

I am turning 18 in 4 months. I am most likely going to be moving back with my father. I am currently under my mother's health insurance but it's only for certain doctors and I will be living in a different state as her, so I will need to get my own health insurance. How much would it be for Health Insurance for me. I have diabetes so I need to get it. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks.""

Car insurance do i have to tell them ??

am trying to fill in a form for a quote, i was involed in a crash which wasnt my fault, the other person admitted responsability, do i have to declare this as a claim ?? or do i not mention this, am trying to get a quote for this years car insurance Thanks""

Insurance for a cheap car?

Hi all, i am living in NYC which has notoriously high car insurance rates. I'm looking to purchase a second beater car to work on as a side hobby. This car would run anywhere from $500-$2000. Is there anyway to insure this car without it being $100/mo? Because those are the quotes i am currently getting for just liability insurance. Seems a bit ridiculous seeing how the cost of insurance would go over the value of the car in just a year or so.""

Cheap car insurance I mean cheap?

Just passed my test and found insurance is massive, I need some kinda voucher or something to get to insure my car. Any ideas. UK ONLY""

How much would motorcycle insurance be for me?

I am 16 years old and have had my driver's license for only a month. I want to get my motorcycle license. I live in California, so I have to take that CHP motorcycle safety course. I was looking at getting a Triumph Bonneville. One that is less than 15 years old but not newer than 5 years. Maybe like a 2001 or something. On craigslist they are going for about 3-4k for what I'm looking for. What would my insurance be about? Just a broad idea is okay and just say a price, not to go on some website to get a quote cuz I don't want a quote yet.""

Live in FL need to know were to get low car insurance rate for my daughters 2001 saturn sl1?

She is going to need comp and collision because she owes on the car she is 22 and has 1 speeding ticket cost per month now is approx 170.00 any help would be great she has progressive now

Is there a website for seeing what class of car you have for insurance to see how much it wil be.?

I know insurance have classes of cars based on a number. Like my old school might be a 7. but my Escalade might be a 20 or something. Please help.

""Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old, impossible?""

I need insurance for a job & i can't afford insurance.. So expensive atm, last year was about 1700 now its 4000 for 1L? What they playing at, anyone insured anyone recently with cheap car insurance at 17, i don't want to know why it is expensive thanks!""

Can you get a car without insurance?

b/c im getting a car without insurance

Can I drive my car with full insurance on a provisional licence?

I have bought full uk licence insurance on my car. I pay fully comp price's (500 a month), But, Im still on provisional licence.. Can I keep my full insurance and drive with my L plates on with a driver with a full UK licence who's held it over 3 years in with me still? They are also named drivers. Thanks!""

Car insurance question?

I have a 2000 Landrover, and right now I'm on my moms insurance policy and the car is in her name. I think its stupid that I have to pay insurance when the car isnt even in my name, but everytime I ask her to put it in my name she gives me some bull about it being like $200 to transfer titles and that it if its in my name ill have to get off her insurance. Is any of that true? And if so, how much does it cost to get your own policy? My insurance is 160 right now if that makes any difference. It's kinda high because I had a wreck about a year ago.""

Car Insurance for any Car in USA?

I am a Senior Indian Citizen of 73 with a US Green Card in Parker, Colorado. I have an international driving permit. Can I get a Car insurance for driving any car hired or private?""

""Where can I find affordable dental insurance, that I can use immediatleywith no waiting period???

Im in the State of VIRGINIA :)

Why is classic car insurance more?

For a teen I mean. I know these types of cars need special insurance companies but these special companies don't take 18 year old drivers. I'm currently parting out a 76 camaro with a tired 250 v6 so it's not fast in any ways. Though it is still called a sports coupe . so I was curious and got a quote and they quoted me $550 a month. strange thing is my friend drives an 04 rsx that's standard (the camaro is auto) and pays the same rate monthly under his parents. What are the factors that determine these rates? safety? engine size? the amount of damage they do? I had a 03 civic coupe (standard) briefly and was paying $260 a month under my parents insurance. According to the insurance company, all these cars are considered sports cars and therefore have higher rates however they would not tell me the reasons why and that is what I am here to ask.""

16 year old insurance drive sports car?

I have found a Toyota Corolla that I REALLY love! It's the perfect car for me, cheap, low miles, good mpg. My only concern is it's a sports version. It will be my first car, so I have NO insurance right now, and I am wondering if they will even insure me for this. My brother has a ford mustang Coupe, and he is under liability. But I'm wondering what my place would be if I got a Toyota Corolla. Will I be able to be insured or not? Thanks for reading!""

Insurance questions?

I have a 99' silverado LS 5.3 liter truck. It was hit in the parking lot by some fool at work and now all the body panels on the passenger side are dented. I took it to a dealer to get an estimate (since the guy has insurance) they quoted it at 7500 dollars worth of damage. I know that the truck doesn't actually book for much more than that. The truck still drives fine just that it is beat up on one side and the door won't open. I still owe about 3k on the truck. I have yet to get an adjuster to come look at it from state farm. Do you think the truck will be totalled? What are my options and how much will they sell the truck back for if it is a total? If it is a total what value will they go off of and how much should I expect for my truck which was in fair condition? Will the adjuster make a check out to me or will he send it to my bank or both? Any help with this from someone that has had a vehicle totalled by someone else would be greatly appreicated..I really don't know.

Car and Insurance for Teen driver?

Help understanding insurance card?

I have us family health plan and online I need to fill something out for school if not they will charge me for insurance when I already have it. What I need is Insurance company Policy number Group name Group number What is on my card: Member id number Group number Rx group number Copay. Can you help me match what I have to what I need

Medical insurance?

Im looking for medical insurance in connecticut that covers ivf treatments completely and consultation fees please help!! Thanksss :)

Car insurance quote?

I am a 17 year old boy in Texas I just bought a white 1999 Pontiac Grand Am GT 2 door Paid with Cash I've never had a ticket or anything on my record Does anyone know about how much my insurance will run?

Are insurance payments for turboed cars high?

I am 17 and I am going to get a car soon. I want to get a '95 Nissan 240sx with a sr20 swap from my dads friend. I know it seems like a lot of car for a 17 year old but I've driven turboed cars before and can handle the power, so please no rude comments. I really want this car but the only thing that concerns me is the insurance payments. Will they be really high because it is a turboed car? And because I'm only 17?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for a 19 year old female?

I am soon going to buy a used Toyota Corolla and I live in North Carolina. I am just starting to get my driver's license and I was wondering what auto insurance is cheaper? Would it be cheaper if I was on my parents auto insurance?

Medical Insurance too expensive?

Currently I am paying $514.03, every WEEK to cover my family of four. Our employers do NOT cover a huge chunk of the costs. I am completely ignorant to this new Obamacare, but I am also starting to learn about it. The only thing I seen happen with Obamacare is yes my insurance got better and stronger (Open Network), but it also increased over $200 a week. I am not kidding it is about $2,064.00 a month. I can't afford to go to the Doctor and pay the Co-Pays because of my weekly payment!!!! It almost seems better for my husband to lose his job and we can collect welfare/medicaid! What is out there for us? Please don't tell me to shop around because I have and its very expensive. I can save $50 and some even increased over $100. Nothing in our medical history to cause expensive insurance either. What does Obamacare do for this situation? Who can I call to get some help?""

How much does car insurance cost if i wanna pay it every 6 months?

It would just be me on the insurance (Full Coverage).I also only want to lease cars.I feel it's better to pay insurance twice a year as oppose to paying for it every month.

How much does liability insurance cost? How much coverage do I need?

I am planning a day camp this august. I know I need to purchase liability insurance just in case, but how much do I need? There will be a maximum of 140 girls, 55 leaders, and 30 younger siblings (of leaders), (thats 225 people). The minumum would be roughly 50 girls, 25 leaders, and 10 siblings... I just need a guestimate as I am working on the budget and am trying to figure out how much to charge the attendees.Also, how much coverage do I need?""

19 Y/O searching for health insurance advice?

I am 19 years old, I will be starting college in late August/early Sept. as a full time student at comm. college. I am not employed and my mother supports me. unfortanatly, she ...show more""

""Im learning to drive, do i need insurance?""

I'm 17 and i'm learning to drive. If my parents take me out to teach me, will I need insurance? How does it work? And if i need it where can i get it cheap.""

Classic Car Insurance for Young Drivers?

Always been a fan of Old Minis. Always been in the family. Uncle has had various Mini projects. I've read so many different things about classic car insurance. I'm 17 Years old, recently passed. I've heard that you get get classic car insurance at this age for close to and under 1000. I may not be driving until i turn 18. Won't be driving much. Odd weekend's and to Sixth form a few late days when i can't get a lift off my parent. My Sixth form has it's own car park and the car will be parked on the drive. Just wondering how true the claims are of the cars being cheaper to insure. If so which companies should i go about contacting, and is it best via website or phoning them. Also i would be looking at any Mini, would prefer a 1275 GT. However realise this would cost more. Not bothered about having a Mini 850 or a normal Mini 1000, as i know the Special Eds will cost more.""

Cheapest car insurance for 17 year old?!?

I'm looking at car insurance and the cheapest i can find is around 2000, that's 166 a month and i can't afford that :/ I'm looking to get a renault clio, corsa or a ford KA, anyone know any really cheap car insurance places i can look at?! X""

Do you have to pay for insurance when you start a driving job?

A staffing agency is requiring me to pay a $150 refundable deductible before I start the job, does this sound legit?""

""24 wanting a first bike, 125cc to start with. How much for a cheap one with insurance?""

Wanting a motorbike, starting off slower though to get the hang of it before getting a bigger engine. Going to be using it for going around the dales on a weekend. Would 1000 pounds be enough for bike and insurance? Any models to look out for on my search too""

Would I get a good insurance price for a 1.8 liter car?

Me and my dad are talking about my first car and I was looking online and I see one that I liked but it's a 1.8 liter is it a good idea and if it does matter it's a mercedes ce 300 1995 also would it come under classic insurance

Does anyone know about kit cars and insuring them?

I am a younger driver and was told my insurance wouldnt be as much if I was to buy a kit car. Anybody know about this?

Is there a way to decrease my Car insurance coverage?

i recently just bought a 2004 jaguar x-type for 12,800 with warranty included.payments is 250 a month.but car insurance is 480 a month! is there something is there a way of avoiding paying that much pay that much in car insurance..im 21 and i would like to no if i really need my car to be fully covered or can i just put the car in under there coverage. Plus i don't have the best driving record.""

I'm a first-timer with cars and insurance?

I was trying to research car insurance and taxes but came up with no clear answer. My probem is that I am looking to see how much it would cost for me to buy a cheap car (preferably a Mini or a Beetle) and what the insurance would cost. Can anyone point me in the right direction? I'm trying to work out how much I have to earn this summer so I can own my first car.

How much will 1 point affect my car insurance???!?

I got a right turn violation about 8 months ago and i took traffic school so im assuming that my insurance won't penalize me. Now i got another ticket(stop sign violation), how much would you estimate the percentage of my insurance? I live in California btw and im 20 years old.""

What can I do when a cap on my tooth is breaking away and I cannot afford insurance and not enough money?

""Recently hit by another driver, got estimate for his insurance company. Not sure I should repair for that cost""

My car is a 1994 Lexus ES300 with 125,000+ miles on it. I would say it is in good or fair condition, the leather seats are cracking badly and it has a few scrathes, etc. I'm just wandering if it is in my best interest to repair this car or for it to be totaled out. The estimate for repairs in $3500.00, which could always go up once repairs start for unseen damage. I'm just not sure the car is worth repairing for that amount considering its condition. The damage is to the drivers side rear panel which is now rubbing something when I turn either way or go over any kind of bump in the road. The estimate does not consider repair for that since that could not be seen by looking at the vehicle. They are also saying the paint can't be matched perfectly because of the fading caused by sun and weather over the years. With everything considered my resale value is not good. I did want to sale this car at some point and get newer car.""

Will my insurance premiums go up from this situation?

This is 2 weeks after the accident (today). After the guy talked to his insurance they said that they will cover his damages and my insurance won't be affected. This morning the guy I hit said he was still going to bring his car in for an estimate in case I still want to pay for the damages because he said he talked to an OPP officer and the officer told him that his insurance company will come after my insurance to have the damages paid for, resulting in higher insurance for me. Should I just tell him to go ahead with the repairs it and deal with my insurance when it happens....if it happen?""

Month to month insurance question?

I am about to sell a 2003 Chev Silverado that hasn't been driven, registered, inspected or insured in several years (I am in Texas, if that helps). I am getting everything up to date as far as inspection plus some repairs that need to be done before completing the sale, so I will need temporary insurance. I have been shopping for just the next month, and have even googled month to month insurance in Texas but keep coming up with insurance companies that only quote a full year. Since I don't currently drive or have any reason for auto insurance, I don't have the option of adding it to an existing policy for a month. I do have an active license so I am eligible to get insurance, but I don't want to pay a huge down payment on the premium and lose it once I cancel after I have handed the truck over in 2 weeks. Are there any companies or websites designed specifically for temporary or month to month insurance? What are the options?""

""If I am 27 and single, do I need to be paying for life insurance?

I have been paying for life insurance for a few years now and I am convinced that I shouldn't be. I do not have any children or plan on any in the next few years. My father says it is so I am locked into a premium. Does that really matter?

MICHIGAN NO FAULT INSURANCE?

I was in an accident today and the other person left the scene, cops came and got all of my info... my car is REALLY banged up.... i have michigan no fualt insurance becuase that is all i can afford... a $500 deductible ..what does this mean? how much will my insurance company cover to get my car fixed? thanks""

Car and Insurance for Teen driver?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/mr2-spyder-insurance-rate-micah-beaudoin"

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crashgirl111 · 7 years

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umm so i saw my cute boy today and i need HELP and ADVICE im literally my icon and im confused as hell

(i bolded things for myself to add them up dont fcking worry about it) (or just read those it can be a tldr)

ok first of all. he works at this drive thru taqueria in my hometown i always go to when im not at school. hes always paid progressively more and more attention to me. i think it started my second semester of senior year, and now ive figured out through my #detectivework that he was actually a year behind me in school. i NEVER noticed him at school, i always thought he was a few years older. but now im starting to think he may have been noticing me the whole time, its kinda hard to miss the girl w the huge forehead and also i have nice tits and ass lol. and if he likes shy girls, ive got that and he knew it. he maybe even knew i took ap spanish so that could make him more attracted to me maybe possibly

every time i see him its a lot of intense eye contact that i used to avoid bc it made me nervous, smiling a lot (like his face brightens when he sees me i love it), and theres always just this energy that he HAS to be feeling too. i felt it even before i was that into him.

since ive been in college, every time i come see him hes talking to me a lot. one day i came home (my gps was set to the taquiera lol i miss the food) and he was like “oh i havent seen you lately, good to see u” or whatever and i was like “yeah ive been at school.” then ANOTHER time hes like “oh did u get a new car” (months since hes seen me, so i feel like he shouldnt have noticed that much?? and even commented about it?) and i said yeah and he said it was nice or something. always the same energy, always him lighting up then staring. hes always talking to me each time now, those are just the examples i can think of. teasing me a little bit sometimes, smiling constantly.

and i have a memory to compare these to. one time i was with my abuser and we came to get rice and beans. i looked a mess, i was just kind of laying back chilling in the passenger seat of my own car. when we got to the window and i saw my boy i got really nervous, bc if my abuser noticed ANYTHING he was gonna hurt him and/or me, probably just me bc hes a weak little bitch who beats up women bc he cant beat up men. he looked at me some, his face was regular didnt brighten up didnt make eye contact w anyone didnt smile the entire time. i felt embarrassed that he was seeing me like that but the next time he was back to just being really sweet to me.

now that im typing this out it seems so silly and unlikely, but ive been noticing these things for a while and just took it as a lil confidence boost, its only very recently in the last few months i got feelings like this. so i dont think its me projecting feelings onto him or anything. and the feeling in the air is so real, he has to feel it too, he fucking creates it.

TODAY i went and oh man. i heard his voice on the speaker and i was like thank u god and jesus. i always know its him bc he says something really fast in spanish that i cant figure out. im looking good, this is the first time ever i got ready before i came to see him. tits out, lipstick on, hair perfect. i wanted to try to do a lot of things but all i managed was to smile a bit more and watch my posture. i order a coke w my meal even tho i have it at home just so i can ask him to open it for me. i pull up, he lights up as usual, is like “hey!! hows it going” then says “i already opened this is that ok” and i was like “yeah” and like thats kind of sweet right that he already knows? before he opened the window and was getting everything ready, him and this man (probably uncle dad cousin brother idk) were talking, the other guy kept glancing at me and kinda smiling like he knew something. he gives me my food, i give him my card, i think he said something i forget. staring, smiling, energy, the whole thing. while im signing the receipt, hes talking about how i started getting tacos instead of burritos lol, i told him i like both, and i really think he said “i like them more than u” but also i was too nervous to really pay attention but also like what lol thts some awkward thing u say when ur nervous. i hand him the receipt, his voice gets a little deeper/serious/sincere and he said “you have a good night” or "I hope u have a good night" deep eye contact.

i feel like its real bc i felt it even when i didnt want it to be happening and wasnt interested. the way he makes me feel makes me like him, but how do i know if he acts like that w everyone or its supposed to just be good customer service lmao. so in summary im a crazy delusional narcissistic bitch and i feel things for this boy that i think he might feel for me but i cant be sure. someone PLEASE give me advice/feedback like go on anon and tell me the truth because my sense of reality is so fucked from my ptsd and i need an outsider to tell me what this is and means. i dont wanna like be w him, just for the summer free weed and dick. he has a gf but shes a whole country away and men are generally cheating trash. my next step if i convince myself its real is im gonna add him on fb and be like “oh sorry if this is weird lol u came up in my suggested friends thing” bc we do have 5 mutual friends.

im probably forgetting important things bc in addition to my sense of reality my memory is also fucked. and really im just trying to get fucked here and im waiting for outside clarification to go for it.

???

#advice #relationship #anyone out there lmao #plz #this looks so dumb omg but i promise the feelings are so real an d present in these moments

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gaberoothekangaroo · 8 years

Text

this is kinda going to be long.

my dad gets so fucking worked up about things and it fucking drives me bonkers because hes just being an ass about it. like we were watching transformers on tv and it had some extra interviews and it talked about the differences of opinion between shia and michael bay on how to do a scene. so my dad is spouting off about how ‘directors are lazy and complacent and they need to learn from others successes’ and on and on and on. and im like ???? there are like only a handful of series that go from one movie to the next??? and so we got into it. like i explained to him that this is a recent thing in the past ten years to have movies that all link up to one another that tell a whole story, rather than having a story that has a beginning middle and end and then adding on a sequel. cause lets be real most sequels suck cause theyre trying to recaputre the glory of the first movie and they dont live up to it.

so hes just fuckin goin off about how this that and the other. and i point out to him that the marvels movies started out as flops. like iron man was pretty good, then two just was in the toilet. well it was the first of its kind. they closed the doors on the first movie. it was a little hard to try to reopen things they had already closed. so they learned and the third movie was pretty good. then we have all the other movies in the franchise that build off each other. yeah they make mistakes, but these guys have all learned and built off each other.

NOPE. hes like hauling off about laziness and they need to look at other peoples successes and failures on working in series. and im like ?????? asshole, do you not realize there are not that many series out there???? and so we just keep fighting over it and it gets to the point where im like ‘dude, its a fucking novel that theyre taking from a script and turning it into a visualization. you have a problem with their lack of continuity or their characterization, thats where your problems lie, not with the producer’

so then hes just like freaking out hardcore and hes like ‘movies and books are different’ and im like how? how could they possibly be different? world building, characters, a plot, a beginning middle and end. like how are they different aside from the fact one is visual and one is text based? and he just cant see that theyre literally the same thing. and so he keeps freaking out.

and im like ‘if i were to write a book on xyz, i wouldnt go look at the other successful authors that wrote something similar. thats fucking stupid.’ and hes like ‘thats not what i was saying’. um yes it is. if youre talking about looking at something and trying to base it off its predecessors successes and failures, then...wouldnt you have to...idk find something that was actually similar before you can make comparisons???

idfk. he had an issue with the fact that michael bay is a jackass and wanted ‘to do things his way’ and wasnt going to let shia do something he wanted to do. yeah okay creative differences, still made a fairly okay movie. not the actors fault that theres four of these stupid movies. but he was raging hardcore over the fact that the director was ‘lazy and complacent’. so what is his laziness? is there some sort of standard hes following? what is his complacency? like i? dont? understand???

the complacency youre talking about is he wanted a fucking paycheck. the first one was successful and he probably won awards and there was acclaim. so whats stopping him from trying to make a second? a third? he has the characters. he somewhat has the world. its not his own idea, no, because hes taking from an already fairly successful source. but hes moulding the characters to his needs and purposes. same thing with his screenwriter.

i have more anger directed towards the screenwriter than the producer because if the script/characters suck, its on them. they wrote the fuckin thing. if you dont know how to worldbuild or write a cohesive character outside of a single individual film, thats on you and your creativity, not the producer. but nope, he couldnt see it that way. and he kept yelling about how i was putting words in his mouth and this that or the other. like jesus fucking christ man.

im so fucking over how he cant see another point of view. he does this shit with everything. like i need to move fucking far away again. i cannot do this shit. it drives me near up the wall.

he gets so mad that im ‘so literal’ ‘all the goddamned time’. okay well...im not yelling every five seconds that the english language is being destroyed and cant accept change. ‘i was taught all the rules and exceptions’. bullshit. if you were, youd speak worse than a goddamned textbook. you wouldnt sound human. you wouldnt fit in to your social environment. you would be stiff. yet whenever you hear a new word, jesus lord almighty the world is coming down around your ears. its bad when others say it, but you dont mind when we do it. righto.

he makes me so mad. he just doesnt want to look outside his viewpoint. as understanding as he is, he doesnt want to learn. he says he likes learning, but he doesnt actually. if it goes away from what he was taught or something hes stood by for forever and a half, he doesnt want it to change. its like tough luck asshole, thats how things happen. if you dont want change, move to a cave. i dont like change either, but im not yelling from the rooftops about it. nor am i blinded by my viewpoints.

the dumb thing about all this is, is that i dont have anyone i can talk to this about. none of my friends really wanted to stay in contact after we grew up. i havent made too many strong relationships after childhood. the ones i have made, i dont want to feel like im bothering them. i dont want to feel like im incessantly talking nonstop and only about myself and my problems. so i bottle it and then it explodes and then after im done writing it out or talking it out, im still angry. my anxiety is still high. but im over it. im done talking about it. i could get riled up again, but it just tires me out.

like i feel like i used to have a good relationship with my dad, but then i moved away. i learned some new things. i saw some different view points. i aligned myself with others that were abroad. i try to look at things differently. and now that ive come back, its like hes exactly where i left him. he didnt change, but i did. he doesnt want to learn or grow. he thinks hes done, that this is the most him he can be.

it makes me really angry because i want to share things with him. i want to talk to him about the things that excite me, that i think might excite him cause we share a lot of common interests. but then all i get is push back and anger and confrontation and it just makes me tired. it makes me angry too, but i just want to be done and over with it. i want to be away from it. from him.

when i left, i didnt know mothers werent supposed to be that way. now that ive learned thats not how any individual should be, i can see how dads shouldnt be that way either. im not saying hes abusive like my mother, but hes nearly there. belittling and jeering and outright testosterone fueled meanness when things dont go his way or i dont perform to his standards. theres even a disparity between how understanding he used to be and how understanding he is now. the older i get and the further i get away from who i used to be, the less understanding he seems to be. it makes me sad. it makes me angry. it makes me want to leave and not come back. it makes me want to go and to go and to go. at the same time, i live in a constant state of existential crisis. life is short and nothing has meaning. all that stuff. so theres fear, true panic inducing fear that dominates my line of thinking for a few days before i get it under control and so i dont want to lose my relationship with my dad. he is probably one of the closest people in my life. but he also keeps getting more distant as time progresses.

nights like tonight just make me want to cry. i go from anger to sadness/panic to exhaustion. like ive ranted, ive changed the subject a couple times now, but i dont feel better. theres still a low simmer of anger in my chest thats constricting in the way anxiety is constricting.

i dont want many more of these situations. i guess its time to move. i dont want to do it permanently, but it looks kinda like it might have to be. and if it is permanent, that means i leave behind my grandmother who means the world to me. it means i leave behind one of my best friends, a friend i believed would die and i wouldnt be informed of his passing a few years ago. i already left some close friends behind in my last state of residency. i read a lot because i choose to escape from things. i have a hard time facing things. like facing the fact that my dad is probably not going to change as a individual and will continue to be confrontational and a hypocrite. i really wanna cry but my depression doesnt allow it.

#gabe does the talk #gabe does a rant #i dont know why i have so many problems functioning as a human being #i need some pets and a good movie and somebody to cuddle with

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