#get sad spend money wooo

[enevera]

someone should buy me smth so fucking nice for this

[kiaranovastar]

Kimiko-ko! planned episodes

~ = Needs more

Introduce delinquent girl sooner? When she's been designed?

Update! Since the writer made this on a whim, she had to update the reference sheets! Now you can do better fanart! But since so many people think the bottom of Kimiko-chan's skirt is pleated while mine is even, these will become our new official designs! ........ Just kidding!

Draws a line. Yes it's finished!!!

Meerkats

M Hey look, a giraffe!

K takes pictures

M Hey look, meerkats!

Kimiko throws Mio into meerkat enclosure

M cries Heeelp!

Hanako1

Mio Special

A man going around being aggressive. Cute!!!

I'm a wolf! Wooooo! Mio: wooo

H2

Achoo! Each time she does one it gets bigger until the whole world blows away

H3

Visits Ireland. Ahh the breeze! Until she gets blown away

A lesson about skirts

Alright! Listen up! I have to tell you something. Lifts skirt up. Gets looks. Shorts underneath. Always wear shorts under your skirts girls. So you don't get oggled by perverts like this! Kicks a man underneath her

Mio ep

H4

Crossovers

Area 9: This is another crossover! Meet Taishi and Bomb. Bomb kicks him out of the frame. No, just Bomb!

Lost Land

Time Wanderer

H5

Fanboys, how much do you love me? Rips t-shirt off and shouts I love you!!

Kimiko tries her hand at being a therapist but fails Graduates from a top university Says something simple Huh? That happens? Manager You're actually a complete idiot!!!!!

I'm gonna be a therapist!

Goes to college

Gets a degree

Patient: And when I spend too much time alone I get sad.

Huh? That happens?

You're actually a complete idiot!!!

Mio ep

Teenagers need a lot of sleep! Zzzz... 3 days later wakes up Ahh what a good night!

H6

I spent my entire life on this piece! It's the only thing I ever painted! All day long every day! A picture of Kimiko with a mustache "Ehhhh????!!!"

Tap tap tap tap Taps phone then different people

?

Every time she taps her phone she transforms into a different person

Most boring story ever: Kimiko goes around accomplishing everything instantly

H7

Mio ep

Bug on another bug

Kimiko says to Mio pointing Look, he's cheating!

Stretching

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

5 hours later still stretching

The sea is mine! Hahahaha! Spinning in rubber ring in pool wearing crown

An ad for Kimiko: She's so cute it's illegal!

It's Halloween! It's my only chance to eat junk food! Hahahhah! Explodes in pink

Someone tries to take Mio's money

If you could be a high-schooler does that mean you could be 18? Yes. Smoking

Introducing new character

The haters say this isn't a real manga. What do you mean this isn't a real manga? It's just a crappy webcomic. Look, it's just fluff with no real substance. And also they hate that you're Japanese schoolgirls. Kimiko or Mio enraged

Kimiko giving herself orders Kimiko, stop bossing yourself around! Tilts head in a cute way Oh wait, that's me!

Kimiko holding a street sign

Kimiko and Mio shooting up to space

Brains

Change- From now on Kimiko-ko! will be drawn in this style. (super realistic with scratchy lines)

Just kidding!

M: K, the haters are oggling me!

K dropkicks one

It's not appropriate to talk to some people about certain topics

kimiko lying on a red sofa wearing sunglasses: Let's talk about drugs

Headphones

I got new heaphones

Starts yelling abuse

Takes them off Huh????

Kimiko doing her beautiful singing while a room of haters is throwing junk at her

Say, why does everyone hate my singing but the birds?

Spinning theme park ride, then goes out of control spinning rapidly and non stop

Mio shy laugh I'm not helping.

Someone says something K: So?

Keeps saying thing k always replies with So?

Close up SO???!!!!!!

Episodes where K and co play roles throughout history

Blood, blood, blood

Yay, I got my new headphones! But they were very expensive. What do they do? Hi Kimiko! Starts talking Cool!

Go over to the kitchen and make me some toast.

Ok!

Alchemy

Talking potato

Potato in suit with orange hair on TV: Uh, potato, potato, potato. Potato potato? Potato! Making gestures

Kimiko: turns around Mio, what the hell is this potato talking about?!

Kimiko vibrating when she's excited

This is for the perverts

なんてやらしい！なんてやらしいー！なんてやらしいーー！Kimiko just standing there normally and fully cloathed looking irked

WHAT?!

K and M alternative universe! Twins

I was born a few minutes earlier than you, and so, I will die a few minutes before you. Noooo Mio! (as grandmas)

Cat staring at the ceiling. It's Kimiko sticking her tongue out!

Plane battle

And sworn enemies get into a fight

You ate my fries!

And you killed my goldfish!

This is war!

Clash

Mio lying in a destroyed city

K comes down from the plane

I will pick you up

Shot from below of Kimiko as if she's a savior

Kiss

I love you Mio

I love you Kimiko

Kimiko saves Mio

Flashback!

Bully: You're always so quiet and stuck up! Do you think you're better than us?!

N-no, I-

Hey, you stop right there!

How do you intend to stop me?

Starts making weird moves

That's it, I'm outta here!

Are you ok?

My savior!

Mio: How come no one knows whether we're middle schoolers or high schoolers?

K: Hmmm something is very strange here!

Kimiko behind a line of ghosts

Shivers

This is weird...

Mio, why do you have no body in that character sheet?

Head floats

I'm a ghost!

Cheerleader

Go, go, Kimiko! Kimi Kimi Kimiko! You're the best!

Turns around vainly

I'm the best.

K Once I met a rapist!

M What did you do?

K Oooh, you wouldn't want to know

K Kicking a censored bloody mess

M Wow Kimiko, you're so cool!

Hanako: I admire you!

Look, it's the pervert!

What pervert?

All I see is a pool of blood on the ground.

Hiccups

K hicks

M pat pat

K hick

M pat pat

K BURRRRP

M gets blown away

Kimiko on a scooter-

2D video game style

Knocks over Mio and Hanako

Plays flute and Mio comes out as a ghost

Kimiko, do you want a boyfriend?

Hmm yeah, but he needs to have

Huge list of qualities that touch the ground

You'll never find all that!

What do you do to gropers?

Karate chop!

Guy flies into distance

Kimiko and Mio turn into cats

Cat day out

Mmm this tea is delicious

Mmm this coffee is delicious

Mmm your tail is delicious

Kimiko and Mio go to a club where Hanako is performing

She's rapping

Budumdum ch! Rrrrrr!

A fight breaks out

Karate girl

Kimiko: I'm a karate girl! Hya hya! Wahhh!

Breaks a rock

Mio is behind it

Kicks her

Wahhh!

Sorry Mio!

Speedy driver

Kimiko swerving doing crazy moves

Mio and Hanako Whoo whoo! We love you Kimik-

Wahhhhh! Gets hit

Ah, the flowers are wilted!

Throws them in the bin

Hmm, I think I'll put them back on the window sill!

Kimiko and Mio visit Doomin Valley

But they're delinquents!

Hey hey! You wanna fight with me hey?

Doomins having tea

They flip the table

Doomin sinks them at sea

Doomin: We had to kick them out.

Hanako time!

Alright alright. Listen up

You look at me?

I beat you up.

You say hi? I beat you up.

K Hanako hi!

H Kimikoooo!!!

君の名は

My name is

Ki-mi-ko-ko Ki-mi-ko-ko

Crowd

Mio turned into a gangster

Mio, what happened?

Dunno. Just gimme your money

H That's it. I've decided. My best friend is Mio, not Kimiko.

Mio episodes

Kimiko cuts Mio's hair into a bob, she cries, Kimiko apologizes. ~

Mio turns into a Gundam robot

Aghhhhh!

Pat pat

Picks her up, brings to face

'It's ok.'

Exclusive Mio episode

Joke about naming her Meo because she liked the names Mei and Mio (Mayonaise with her (Mio's) head on it)

Is Mio rich? No, she's completely average! Mio- A little bit. What about you? Oh, I'm rich! No, you're a little bit below average. Cute laugh

Delinquent girl episodes (Hanako)

Intro episode where they run into her (for the first time)

Delinquents Were beating you up!

Kimiko Ahhh no thanks.

You don't have a choice in this you idiot!

Hanako beats them up

Let me be your best friend!

Sorry, my best friend's Mio!

K with M And as I was saying, he totally fell for it!

Huh?

It's the hater

Hanako throws poop at hater

Cops

Hater edition

Hater video games

1 Good: I'm gonna fill the world with chaos and destruction Bad: I will stop you! Kimiko What kind of games do these guys play!

2 Eating a carrot makes you a slut. Then why are you eating a carrot you slut

3 X? If you see a child you are a pedophile, a sexual predator and a- Sees Kimiko Kimiko beats him up

4 Couple being lovey dovey 'You, no you! No you!' THAT's A SIN YOU SLUTS NO IT"S NOT kicks him

5 Hater tries to take pic of kid, Kimiko takes pic of him then beats him up

6 There's something pervy about teens too!

7 It should be illegal to draw a girl with with such a short skirt looks at skirt with arrow Kicks him LOLICON!

Safari

Safari trip!

We see all the animals

Woahhhh

Hanako pretending to be a tree

Do not cross! Or I'll beat you up with my branches!

Hanako, what's gotten into you?

Episode with a talking tree

Kimiko in Wonderland

Pots and pans guiding her along

Kimiko is a geisha samurai

To the people of the future

To the bullies

Crowd jeering

Yeah I'm awesome!

Miss Kimiko, the rope walker

Woah! She's very skilled

Hohoho. I'm glad you like my performance, my dears

Mio takes pictures

I'm your biggest fan!

Mio chan, do you want to try walking the tight rope?

Puts one foot on the rope

Wahhh! Falls

Senpai notice me!

Theres a new girl in school

Mio

K wahhhh!

Follows her around

Takes her shoes, opens the door for her, makes her bentos

You're like my bodyguard!

Flicks hair

Hanako comes along

Hey, you, hey you! You shouldn't be following her around, I should be following you around!

The three are walking in a line k holding ms things and h holding is things

Kimiko the Star Warrior

It's Kimiko! I travel the stars throwing stars at people and fighting the evil planets!

Evil planet comes along

Hoo!

Let's fight!

Star battle

Mio topples in

Her moonshine aura breaks up the battle!

No, Mio, why did you do that?

Sakura

Kimiko playing a flute with sakura in the background

Geishas, Mt Fuji, Hanako?!

Hospital

Hanako Nurse! Nurse!

My heart broke out of my love for Kimiko.

Superhero

K and M are superheroes

M K, I will always be behind you

Dunununununununu Kimiko man!

M Miaow! Miaow miaow!

K shoves Mio and Mio falls

Tea

And so I was saying

Puts tea down

Puts tea down

Mio

Kimiko is a musician

Goes to recording studio

Hanako and Mio are there

Congratulations on your newest album! We're your biggest fans!

M Um, I was wondering if you could sign...

My hair.

Goes off with signature in her hair

Thank you!

Hanako

Can I have your autograph?

No.

Can I have your autograph?

No.

Can I have your autograph?

Shut up girl!!! Punches

Genderbent episodes

Madame Egg intro

MKimiko, what do you think of men?

K I hate men because all they think about is sex. Im never getting a boyfriend!

Head on a man

M Way to go Kimiko!

Sword fight

And so, the battle begins.

Between two sworn enemies.

K I said I want strawberry

M I said I want chocolate

Clang

Cling

About to clash again

Hanako gets in the way

Kimiko, my plaster fell off...

Slaps it on Kimikos face

You can have it! Its my gift! Grin

Introducing Madame and Mr Egg

K and M go on a trip to the sea

Ah, what a fresh breeze!

Bumps into an egg

Huh? I didn't know eggs were so big!

Madame and Mr Egg turn around

Madame Hello dears.

Mio Bites I love eggs!

Mio Kimiko, how do you deal with hate?

I just laugh it off. I'm tougher than that. And I know I'm the cutest!

Kimikos the lollipop lady!

Yes, come through, come through!

Madame Egg topples and falls on Kimiko

Balloon on Kimiko. She detaches from it

whirrrrr. Whirrrr

mio oooh

They do a weird dance

Hanako comes and pecks at the ground

Madame Egg rolls down and crashes on them

Fry pan. Frying an egg with Mio in the middle

Car add. Skids and runs over Hanako

Techno world

The techno wizard is mixing tracks that spread evil

Kimiko looks cyberpunk

She sets off shocks

Lightning

Technowizard turns into lightachu

Be my mommy!

Men

Hi!

I want sex with you.

Ah, no thanks. Slaps and walks off

Boo!

What's that I hear?

Boo!

Thanks!

I know you all love Kimiko.

Dun dun dun dun

Mio as a shark

Look, Kamaku, it's our baby!

Sup

Sniper

Hanako shoots out and hits Kimiko in the head

ボウズ

Kimiko, Mio and Hanako as a gang

Kimiko in car. Flips, spins

Music starts

You spin me right round baby right round

Mio went to war

ended up in hospital

cute ghost comes out of nose zzz

K pop

Kimiko lives in Japan 2. Like Japan but has magic and all haters look like this. Kimiko is a sword fighter. Hanako is a professional gangster. And Mio is Miss Japan. Enjoy our country!

Leaning tower of Piza

Kimiko goes to Africa to find a gemstone

Call Kiara a whore and?

Hater is being punched into the sky

Isekai

Mahoushoujou

Hanako every day is the same sitting on bench smoking cigarette dog jumps onto face

Pocky

I got pocky!

Sticks into Mio's eyes

Wahhhh!

Zelda parody

Kimiko Princess of the cherry blossoms flute. Wears regal kimono

Samurai Mio Princess Kimiko, there is a dragon ravaging our lands. I come from afar. I offer you the magical incense to defeat the dragon.

K Samurai Mio, I thank you for the incense.

Hanako the wizard appears, uses わたくし and acts very mysterious and mature. Has a starry cone on her head and a blue robe

Turns Mio into a frog

K You tricked me!

H Hahahahaha! That's what you get for being so gullible!

Well how would you like it if I opened up a packet of your favorite snacks!

Noooo don't eat them!

K eats slowly

H That's it! Take her! And give me those snacks!

Turns M back, wolfs down the snacks

K Hands in sleeves Now will you help me defeat the dragon with the magical insense? I'll give you more snacks!

H love hearts in eyes Yes please!

Clouds and rocks

D Fool! You think I should stop ravaging the lands? How stupid can you be?

Fidgets

I'm on my period.

K M H A WOMAN?!

H She has a man's voice...

Now you will pay for bothering me when I'm narky! Take this!

Battle scene ensues

H pant pant pant

Dragon pant pant pant

H Stomach growls

K Hanako, how can you get hungry at a time like this?!

H Like I can control it!

Wahhh!

Dragon hits them with her tail

Now you're finished!

D's stomach Growl

K Here, why don't we have some snacks?

Everyone is having a disco party

Kimiko the late schoolgirl EvanKimiko

I'm late I'm late late!

Toast in mouth

Bumps into Mio

Both Out of my way!

Madame Egg shows up in the car park on a motorbike

Class Woah

ME Takes off sunglasses

Comes in I'm your new teacher.

Woah, she's so cool

Madame Egg Class, today we have a new student

Mio walks in

Both Points It's you!

Mio, sit behind Kimiko please.

Class in session

Mio blows thrpugh a straw and hits K in head

Ow!

K Grrrr....

The tension is rising.

M hits her again

and again

and again and again and again and again-

K Stands up That's it, I'm ruining your life!

Giant Eva's head appears

Eats the school

My Robot Mio

Here, I stole Hanako's crisps, eat some!

Eats

M Malfunction! Malfunction!

Goes on a rampage

Beats Hanako into the ground

Cracks Madame and Mr Egg wide open

K Stop! You'll have to get through me!

M shoots her through the chest

Kimiko is lying down, M just goes over to her

M Oh no, what have I done!

K just sits up, makes a heart sign with her hands Kyun!

M Heart comes out of chest, explodes

Sonic

Wrestling K vs M

TV keeps repeating itself

And now we introduce to you, The Lost Land!

Aota Grins Bye Nima!

Hey!

K doing the Levan Polka

Slaps everyone in the face

Accidentaly slaps herself in the face

K International Woman of Mystery

Dancing dressed as Austin Powers

Mio Hearts in Eyes

K Standing over M with hand on wall

K Yeah baby!

Hanako joins the bousouzoku

Aliens

Detective Kimiko Part 1

Mr Egg was cracked!

K Don't worry, Detective Kimiko can help!

Did they kill him with a sword, a knife or a melon?

Melon!

Smashes lemon

So, in Britain, apparently you can't take a selfie in a polling station.

K Cheese!

Cooking with Mio

Ping pong

K ping ponging with M's head

Further storyline

Hair dye

Mio K, why don't you dye your hair a different color?

K Ok!

GOTH KIMIKO

High quality

Long cowboy episode

Kimiko arrives in South Korea

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph! First, thank you for everything you do for this fandom!! I don’t know what we would do without you!! ♥️ I am looking to start my first novel length Johnlock fic. I found your list, and was wondering if you had a specific one to recommend to start off with? I’m looking for something that won’t make me too sad (the world does that on its own), and of course, lots of Johnlock!! Any recommendations would be appreciated, thank you!! Sending love!! *hugs*

HI NONNY!

Hmm, this is tough, because Novel Length is anything over 50K words, but some people don’t want to read “novels that short”. So I get a lot of requests for Epic novels over 100K, so like WOOO HOO LOL.

Hmm. How about I give you a few recs varying lengths, based on your requirements, and you can decide how long you want to go, since I list all my word counts on my recs?

First off, for when you become obsessed with the lengthy fics like I am now LOL:

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 3 [MFL’s] (Dec 2020)

Next, here’s something for each range between 50 and 100K+ <3

BUT BEFORE I BEGIN: honourable mention because it IS my fave fic ever, and it fits your criteria minus the length so SORRY but please check it out:

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

--------

Okay, now the main event, of more-fluff-than-angst:

NOVEL LENGTH NOT-SO-ANGSTY FICS FOR NEWBIES

Spare Change by Ermerness (E, 51,966 w., 14 Ch. || Rich Holmeses AU || First Kiss / Time, Holmes Family, Virgin Sherlock, Anal, First Meetings, Bossy Bottomlock) – The Holmes family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. Sherlock spends his time flying around the world on the family's private jet drinking a lot and shopping at expensive boutiques as a way of trying to alleviate his endless boredom. His mother decides it's time he settles down with someone powerful, wealthy and well connected. John Watson happens to be none of those things.

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Post-TRF, Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasm Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay, Anal Beads, Tickling, Dancing, Dry Coming, Romance) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking, Massages, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Group Therapy, Past Loss of Child) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (E, 81,665 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Talk, Threesomes, Light Dom/Sub, Sex Club, Experiments, Anal, Mildly Dubious Consent, Rimming, Cheeking, Double Penetration, Mild Kink, Porn Watching, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – They’d never talked about sex in the year they’d known each other. Well, that wasn’t quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

Uphill by scullyseviltwin (E, 84,945 w., 18 Ch. || Olympics AU || Sherlock POV, Skier!Sherlock / Medic!John, Rivalry, 2014 Olympics, Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes is striving for gold in this, his fourth and final Olympics as a downhill Alpine racer.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w., 13 Ch. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Mise en Place by azriona (M, 161,004 w., 28 Ch. || Restaurant (Kitchen Nightmares) AU || Sherlock is Gordon Ramsay / Celebrity Sherlock, Restauranteur John, Harry Plays Prominent Role, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, Cranky Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn) – John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn't have much choice. There's only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes. Part 1 of Mise en Place

-------

Hope you enjoy those!!! <3 PLEASE read them all, though, and THEN READ ALL THE ONES ON THOSE LISTS. Because once you start long fics, you get REALLY INTO THEM. Hah hah <3

[justkpopjokes]

Vampire!Minghao || PART 2

A/N: I’M BACK WITH VAMP!HAO!! Also this was almost vampire politics lmfao

Requested by: 4 anons + sunflower anon + @riptidethepen + a blog I can’t tag (y'all sent in asks wanting for a pt.2!! this is dedicated to you♡)

NOTE: for those of you who have read my Vampire!Mingyu AU, the lore is changing! There’s new canon since that au was written so long ago. It’s just small details that are changing, the end of that au is the same👍

part 1

Imma pull some Incredibles 2 shiz with the start right after part 1 stuff

Are you ready? no? too bad

Minghao is red as blood once you lean away from ur kiss

He's having an internal meltdown like hhhhh they agreed to that 2nd kiss

y'all just take some of his knitting stuff and get back to your room so you can cuddle learn how to knit

Mr. Xu is abt to walk in but then he yeets himself outta there after seeing y'all cuddling knitting v close together

For the rest of the week, your teeth grow out a bit more and Mr. Xu teaches you how to use ur fangs properly

Basically biting into apples n other foods for practice

Mr. Dad (ik what I wrote) also makes Minghao practice because this boy turned you into a vampire from not being able to do this properly smh

After that practice is done, you get oddly sick to your stomach again, meaning ~the transformation is almost complete~

(Wow finally it's been like 2 months now)

Minghao just stays next to you as long as he can to make sure you're feeling alright and don't bite yourself

You have to get smth like a mouthguard so you don't bite ur lip in ur sleep

And after that passes…

Congrats! You've graduated from Vampire school👏

VHS'19 go bats!🦇 my new instagram bio

The whole process wasn't actually as painful as it sounds, but it's just… what do I do now

Well Minghao surprises you by dragging you outside

WOOO FINALLY OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THE 1ST TIME IN MONTHS

Minghao trains you more (rip), but it’s fun this time bc you get to run around with super speed

and climb trees!!

mainly bc you remembered Twilight vaguely and were like “wait hao can we do that stuff”

the answer is h e l l  y e a h

Yea so you climb trees and run around, essentially playing tag with hao

Until he tackles you to stop you from running

“y/N WAIT DON'T GO THERE!!”

he barely manages to stop you before you get onto a forest trail leading to some buildings

You: “Wow… we're far from your house...”

Hao: “Yeah. Let's head back home.”

“Minghao, do you think… Will I ever be able to go back?”

“What do you mean?”

“To the city”

“Well, you won't have too, don’t worry. My dad arranged your stuff to be kept somewhere until he can pick it up”

“But what if… what if I want to?”

Minghao gets a little confused because he doesn’t understand why you’d want to go back

he thought you loved it here?

confused boy is like “wait what's wrong with the mansion??”

“Nothing, Hao. I just miss home.”

it’s a little hard for him to understand, having lived in the mansion his whole long immortal vampire life…

But he doesn’t want you to be sad, so he asks his dad if he can take you to Vampire Square!

which is just the vampire night market lol

Also,,,, Minghao has a plan to make you even happier ;)

so before you wander off, he takes you to this tailor who takes your measurements

Then you go out to explore the market/square w/Hao while the tailor sews up a surprise

Minghao treats you by trading books for some cake since you can finally eat sugary stuff!! also coconut water since your body has enough blood in it again

((I realize I never really explained shopping in my other vamp au, but they don’t really use money lol they trade objects or favours since everyone knows each other))

it’s a small, chill night market, so there are lights everywhere and you get to watch tiny vampire kiddos and spot a few other creatures roaming around

it makes you realize how… human they are

yknow… hahah… just humans… who have to drink blood or coconut water… and have superhuman abilities… yeah

After ur nice cough cough DATE with Hao, he takes you back to the tailor who has prepared some fancy clothes for you!!

The tailor is like “a stunning outfit for a stunning vampire! I assume it’s for the ball, yes?”

and ur like. what ball lmao

Minghao answers for you and explains to you what the ball is on ur way home

Which is via CAPE TELEPORTATION btw!!

(some capes allow for teleportation and other capes help you turn into bats, etc etc (it’s how Mingyu teleported in his vampire au btw))

So every year around Halloween, there's this Vampire Ball™ for all the vampires at the Vampire Prince’s castle, aka JUNHUI’S CASTLEEE

Btw if you haven't read my Vampire!Mingyu series, note that Jun isn’t king bc his mother is technically queen still but she’s in hiding rn

he’s coolio but anyway

His Royal Highness is a bit mad that Minghao bit someone on the streets since it’s illegal

...but with Mr. Xu’s lawyer skills and the fact that Jun is a nice person (also the fact this has happened recently but was resolved well *cough* Mingyu) you were allowed to live!

and that’s how this almost became vampire politics akjfdh anyway

The night of the Vampire Ball, the 3 of you in the Xu residence change into formal clothing

Hao looks so fine, he’s got a suit on that’s accented w/a red carnation in his pocketand of course he’s got his cape on bc he looks heckin c o o l with that on

functional and fashionable eheh

he has a real proud dad who’s like omg did you get y/n a matching outfit? (yes)

you’re the last to get ready and do that slow walk down the stairs to where Minghao & Mr. Xu are waiting

Hao is obviously like o shit okay okay don’t panic don’t pani—

“…wow”

Mr. Dad: “Minghao, your jaw is physically dropped, please be polite and close your mouth”

Eventually, you get to the castle, which has been decorated w/shades of red

it’s real fancy and all these vampires are dressed up and have nice accessories,

it’s like you’ve been transported back in time to another century!

there are vamps playing classical music and everything

like oh is that a dude on double bass?? hell yeah, you fine sir

and Prince Junhui proposes a toast to another year of living!

Mr. Xu goes off to talk business with some older vampires

So you get to spend time with Hao and dance!!

he was able to get you to ballroom dance with him uwu

Finally, you could be at peace and live in a dream

but peace doesn’t come that easy around here…

there’s obviously gonna be some wine, and you get kind of intoxicated oops

you get a bit moody and start thinking of home back in the city

as much as you love being here with Hao, it’s probably caused so much trouble with your friends/family who’ve likely reported you as missing at this point

Hao notices you looking sad and looking up to the moon in the centre of a garden of roses

he steps next to you and takes your hand

a section of the roses starts to glow, but he ignores it bc he just wants to understand

he can’t really know firsthand what it feels like to be far from home, but maybe you can help him understand that?

maybe then he could feel human?

so he wraps his cape around you and teleports you somewhere else

When your eyes adjust to the dark, you see city lights and trees

Hao just whispers to you, “We can’t be here for long, stay close to me”

you’re at an empty park at the edge of the city, sitting close to Hao on a bench

“Wha—Minghao why are we here?”

“I want to know what it’s like to be far from the mansion. This is the deepest part of the city I’ve been in… And I thought you’d want to be closer to home, too.”

“Thank you, Hao”

You sit silently with him, slowly falling asleep on his shoulder until he has to take you back to the garden

When you return, there’s a small crowd gathered around you

Mr. Xu is in shock or smth, “Minghao did you—was this you?”

You’re obviously like. uh what

but there’s a whole prophecy or something and because of your little trip to the park,,, you’ve got another scheduled appointment at Vampire Court™

but don’t worry, you’ve got a vampire lawyer and a vampire boyfriend by your side~

[themluckyfew-moved]

Uh Oh I Thought of Some Sad Stuff

Sad Stuff under the cut since it talks about gore and... its sad hng :’’)

OKay... so I thought of the reunion between Ross and Kieran during chapter 4 and I

I ‘ m  n o t  o k a y

I have not openly spoken about what actually happens to these two in my narrative, and while it isn’t as bad as what happens to Kieran in the game (Fuck you R*) It’s still bad stuff and affects them both significantly 

A while after Jack’s party in chapter, Ross and Kieran are out in the swamps to get away from camp for awhile and spend time with one another. While they’re out and about they get jumped by O’Driscolls and captured. When they get taken to the O’Driscoll hideout, Colm is being a huge fuckin’ asshole and mocking Kieran, telling him he remembers him and how he quick he was to turn his back on the O’Driscolls. 

Ross doesn’t like that and starts hissing and cursing Colm, which causes Colm to turn his attention to Ross and light up. 

“Ohhh. I know you too. You’re the little thief. The one who kept us trapped up there in that frigid mountain while we tried to earn back the money you stole.” 

Ross says he doesn’t regret what he does and spits in Colm’s face. Colm wipes his cheek and growls, saying that Ross will regret it soon and then... the bad stuff happens. 

For those that don’t know... In the game when Kieran gets captured, he was tortured and killed by the O’Driscolls which is what gave away your camp location to the enemies in chapter... I’m getting rid of the whole killing thing, but keeping the other stuff. Only now its wor s e because Colm can use Ross and Kieran against each otHer- They just have to sit there while the person they love is subjected to physical and mental pain while Colm and the O’Driscolls try to get the information they need from them. And then Colm decides, “Hey, instead of keeping them both in the same area, I’m gonna be an even bigger asshole and separate theM” so now they’ve been separated and have no idea what’s happening to one another 

While apart, Ross manages to get free and sneak out,but he has no idea where Kieran is. He does, however, recognize what area he is and he knows he’s close to Shady Belle, so he finds his horse and starts the ride to escape. The O’Driscolls hear him riding away and they give chase, and when Ross is getting closer and closer to Shady Belle, Ross is shot off his horse and attacked. He fights back the best he can and knocks the gun away from the O’Driscoll that shot him, but ends up getting his throat cut. Not deep enough to kill him, but deep enough that he is seriously injured. He gets the knife out of the assailants hand and kills him, which allows him to ride back into Shady Belle and start the shootout that usually happens after Kieran’s death. 

Ross gets taken into the house during the fight and tended to, with Mary-Beth and Sophia (this narrative includes my pals inserts as well wooo) trying to stop his bleeding. He keeps saying that someone needs to go back for Kieran, and when the shootout is over he’s sobbing and begging them to let him go back for Kieran. No one lets him go, but Kaity says she’ll go and she rides out with Arthur and a few other members of Ross’s group to save Kieran. 

They find Kieran in the hideout, and after they clear it and get Kieran untied from his wall, they see he’s missing an eye. He wasn’t missing an eye when Ross rode away earlier. COLM CUT OUT HIS EYE AFTER ROSS ESCAPED- So when they bring Kieran back Ross goes feral and feels terrible about EVERYTHING. he just left his boyfriend ther e  and he feels like  s h i t  about it. He had full intentions to come back for him, he did. He wanted to get help from the rest of camp, but he still feels fucking awful about it. If he had tried to free Kieran then he wouldn’t have lost his eye. He wants nothing more than to see Kieran and apologize and tell him that he loves him, but the two are still too hurt to really move, Ross especially since he has a pretty large neck wound and too much movement could reopen it

When Ross has his neck stitched and bandaged and Kieran has his eye cleaned and covered the best it can be, Ross goes to see him and just breaks down. He rushes and hugs Kieran as tight as possible, crying and apologizing and telling Kieran how much he loves him and how stupid he was for just leaving him. Kieran breaks down as well, hugging Ross back just as tight and telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he loved him and that it was okay. 

Just... Ross and Kieran sobbing into each other’s arms while promising that they’ll never let anything bad happen to one another again. And they don’t let anything bad happen again, because when things start falling apart in chapter 6, Ross and Kieran are one of the first ones to leave, heading west into New Austin where they start new and better lives. Listen, its almost 3am and I’m feeling things so if this didn’t make any sense, it will when I write the fanfic that describes all of this properly 

[ryan-the-whisk-taker]

New Mission Chapter 17

(Like chapter 5, this chapter will be longer than most other chapters in the story. But this one does not contain any possibly triggering content.)

Big City Livin’

A few months later, Jade, Greg and Steven were on their way to Empire City, so Jade could get a surprise for Garnet. “So, what’s this place like?” Jade asked Greg. “Loud, busy, crowded, fun.”

“Like Homeworld?” Greg shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve spent most of my time here on Earth, but if that’s how you’d describe your home planet, then sure.” Jade looked out the window at the bright lights and sighed. “What’s wrong?” Steven asked. “Well, I guess I’m just a little sad. This place is so much like Homeworld, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda miss that place.” Steven looked at Jade with a concerned look on his face. “I understand. Pearl misses space, too.”

“It’s not just space, it’s the entire Gem empire I miss. Sure, Garnet’s here, and so are you and my other friends, but I had friends back there, too… I might’ve even had a Pearl of my own!” Jade took a deep breath. “But, I’m happy here. I have more friends here than I had back there, and I don’t have to listen to a tyrant Gem like Yellow Diamond.” Greg laughed. “I’m glad you like it here. I’ve been here forever, but Homeworld doesn’t seem like a good place to live.” They continued to drive until Steven said, “Ooh! There’s the jewelry store! Didn’t you need some rings or something, Jade?”

“Oh yeah, I did. Um, if I tell you what the rings are for, do you promise not to tell Garnet?” Steven nodded. “I’m planning to propose to her, so I need to buy rings for Ruby and Sapphire,” Jade whispered. “Cool! I’m sure she’ll be surprised, as long as she doesn’t use her future vision to see it.”

“I sure hope she doesn’t see it coming,” she said as Greg parked the van in front of the store. Greg got out of the van and opened the door to let Steven and Jade out. “Thanks for taking me here, Mr. Universe.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jade opened the door and let herself into the store, Steven and Greg following. “Welcome! Are you looking for anything in particular?” The woman at the front desk asked. “Actually, yes I am. I’m looking for two engagement rings, for my girlfriends.”

“Oh! Well then, you should look over here.” Jade followed the woman over to the display case filled with rings. “So, were you looking for any specific stones?”

“Stones?” Jade asked. “Right, I hadn't even noticed that you're a Gem. These are gemstones made here on Earth, but they don't have projected forms like you. We have almost all gemstones here for rings.” The woman handed Jade a list of gems, cuts and ring styles. “Hmm… Maybe, two cubic zirconia rings, circular cut, and this style. Could you do that?”

“Of course! Let me just see how much that'll cost you.” The cashier punched a few numbers into the register, and the price $100 appeared on the screen. “Wow, that's cheaper than I thought it would be,” Jade said. “Would you like to pay now, or after we fit the rings?”

“After. Oh wait, how are we gonna fit the rings if Ruby and Sapphire can't find out?” Steven looked up at Jade. “Can't you just shapeshift your hands to look like theirs?”

“Oh yeah!” Jade proceeded to shapeshift her left hand to look like Ruby’s hand. “I forgot Gems could do that…” the cashier said. “You know a lot about Gems, it seems,” Greg replied. “Yeah, my ancestors were friends with a Green Opal.”

“Cool! I don't know if I've ever met a Green Opal,” Jade said thoughtfully. “So, are you ready to fit the rings?”

“Yep!” Jade held out her left hand, still shapeshifted to look like Ruby’s, and the cashier measured her finger. “Okay, I have the measurements for Ruby, now I just need Sapphire’s.” Jade shapeshifted once again, this time making her hand the same size as Sapphire’s. The cashier measured again, and wrote down both measurements. “Okay! And can I have a phone number? If you have a phone, that is.”

“Um, Steven? Would you mind if I used your phone number for this?” Jade asked her friend. “Of course not! Go right ahead!” Jade gave the cashier Steven’s number. “Thank you! We'll call you when the rings are ready for pickup.” Jade smiled and summoned a stack of money from her gemstone. “Thank you!” She said before she left, Greg and Steven behind her.

“That was easier than I expected.” Jade said with a sigh of relief. “Yeah. By the way, where’d you get all that money?” Steven asked. “Um… Amethyst gave it to me. But I’m not sure where she got it,” Jade answered. “Oh, okay. So, should we head home, or do you want to spend some more time here? I mean, it’s a pretty fun city.”

“I guess we could spend some time here, if you want,” Jade said to Steven. “Okay! Dad, where should we go?”

“Hmm… Maybe we could go to the hotel we went to once with Pearl? I still have plenty of money left over from that,” Greg said to his son. “Okay! Jade, you’re gonna love it there! The room we got last time was huge!” Steven said with a big smile. “I’m sure I will,” Jade said and ruffled up Steven’s curly mess of hair.

Greg pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the hotel he stayed at last time he had been in Empire City. “And, we’re here!” Greg said as he parked the van in front of the hotel. “Woah…” Jade said while looking out the window at the massive building in front of her.

The three of them walked into the hotel, and the man at the front desk recognized Greg as soon as he saw him. “Mr. Greg!” He cried. “Welcome back! I see you brought your son with you. Oh!” The man noticed Jade standing behind Steven. “And who’s this lovely lady?” Jade blushed. “Um, my name is Jade. We’re just in town looking for some rings for my girlfriend,” Jade explained. “I see. Well, I hope you three enjoy your stay!” The man said after Greg handed him a stack of bills and walked away. “Thank you, sir!” Jade called. “Just call me ‘Ricky’!”

“Okay! Thank you, Ricky!” The three of them walked into an elevator and went up to the top floor.

“Steven, this place is amazing!” Jade exclaimed when they exited the elevator. “Yep! It even has a pool!” Steven replied. “A pool? What’s that?”

“Well, it’s a big pit-like thing filled with water, and you can swim and play in it! It’s really fun.”

“Cool! I think Blue Diamond has something like that on Homeworld. Although, no one except her, the other Diamonds, or their Pearls have seen it from the inside,” Jade said thoughtfully.

“Huh. Oh, you also have to wear this thing called a swimsuit, and it’s pretty waterproof.” Steven pulled out his phone and showed Jade a picture of a girl in a swimsuit. “Hmm… Like this?” Jade started glowing, and when she stopped, she was wearing a lime green, one-piece swimsuit with circular cutouts on the sides. “Yeah! Just like that! It’s a good thing I packed my swimsuit, too. I had a feeling we’d be staying here for the night. I’ll go get changed!” Steven said before running upstairs with his hot dog duffel bag.

When he came back down, he was wearing a pair of yellow swim trunks. “Ready!”

“Great! Now what do we do?”

“Well, we can either jump or climb in, or… We could use the water slide!” Steven ran over to the large slide leading to the water and climbed up the ladder, Jade hesitantly following behind. “Are you sure about this, Steven?” She asked. “Yeah! It’s really fun. Do you wanna go before me?”

“Um, sure…? But can you tell me what I’m supposed to do first?”

“Okay! First, you need to sit down, then you push yourself forward and then, you slide!” Jade followed Steven’s instructions, and sat down. “Now I just, push myself?” Steven nodded. “Yep!”

“Okay…” Jade slowly pushed herself forward, and suddenly got caught by the water. Then she slid down the slide into the pool. “Woah! That’s cold!” Jade shouted after coming back up. “Yeah, it takes a little bit to get used to. But it feels nice after a while,” Steven said before he went down the slide. “Wooo hooo!” He slid down into the pool, and swam over to his friend. “You seem to really like this!” Jade said and Steven nodded in response. “I guess it is pretty fun,” she agreed.

Jade and Steven stayed in the pool for about half an hour more, then got out and changed. Steven changed into his pajamas, and walked back out to the main room. “I see you’re ready for bed!” Jade said to her friend. “Yep! I know you’re a Gem, so you don’t need to sleep, but are you going to?” Steven asked. “I’d like to. I mean, I did have a bed in my house on Homeworld. But where would I sleep? From what I’ve seen, there’s only one bed.”

“Hmm… I’m sure you could sleep on the couch in the bedroom, if you wanted to. Dad and I were gonna sleep on the bed.”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the couch. Besides, you two need to sleep and I don’t. So if I wake up in the middle of the night, I hopefully won’t wake you guys up.”

While Steven and Greg slept, Jade sat on the couch, thinking about her home planet. She sighed “Why do I keep thinking about her? I’m a Crystal Gem now, I shouldn’t think about her.” Then she stood up, and walked over to the balcony. “I shouldn’t miss her. She was cruel… Alexandrite is right-She probably just replaced us…” Tears started forming in Jade’s eyes. “She doesn’t care about us… She probably wishes I had never even been made!” Jade yelled and slammed her fist into the wall. The sound of the impact woke up Steven, then he slowly and quietly walked over to his friend. “Jade? Are you okay?”

“N-no… I’m not okay…” Jade said to Steven. “I woke up, and I was thinking about her… Y-Yellow Diamond…”

“I understand. Peridot used to be like that. She still felt loyal to her. I know why you’re thinking about her-You’re still not used to being on Earth, and you still feel kinda loyal to Yellow Diamond. I’m sorry, Jade,” Steven said. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna work. Like I said on our way to the jewelry store, I really miss Homeworld. It’s, where I was made. The first time I had left Homeworld, was for the war…”

“You fought in the war against Mom?” Jade nodded. “Yeah, I did. I was one of the soldiers fighting on Homeworld’s side. I got poofed a few times, and I was nearly shattered by a Bismuth, but everyone said I was a tough fighter.” Jade chuckled. “It was actually kinda fun, fighting all those rebels. I never thought I’d be on the other end of the fight. I was actually there when your mom, y’know, shattered her own Diamond. I didn’t meet your mom, but from the day the war started, I was taught that I should never trust a Rose Quartz. But now, I can.” Steven smiled. “Yes you can. I’m glad you’re my friend, Jade.” He then hugged Jade’s waist tightly. “I’m glad you’re my friend, too, Steven. You’re a better friend than Emerald or Diamond were. Although, if I had completed my mission, I might’ve gotten my own Pearl, like the elites. I had a dream where I got a Pearl, the day before I accidentally, poofed myself…” Steven thought for a moment. “You said a Bismuth almost shattered you. Do you remember what that Bismuth looked like?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I know a Bismuth, who wanted to shatter Homeworld Gems. We might be talking about the same Gem.”

“Did she look like this?” Jade began projecting an image of a Bismuth. She had tattoos of stars, and rainbow dreadlocks. But most importantly, she had her gemstone in her chest. “Oh, my, gosh… We are talking about the same Bismuth! She made this weapon called ‘The Breaking Point’, and she wanted to use it to shatter Homeworld Gems, especially Pink Diamond. She and Mom got in the fight, and Bismuth ended up getting poofed, so Mom bubbled her away in Lion’s mane. Then, I accidentally popped her bubble and she reformed. She stayed with us for about a day, training, watching tv, cooking pizza. But then she showed me the Breaking Point, and I told her that shattering Gems was wrong. She starting saying I lied to her, and that I was actually my mom. I ended up poofing her again, and I told Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl what happened. She’s been in the burning room ever since. I didn’t know that Mom had shattered Pink Diamond at the time.” Steven noticed Jade staring at him. “Wh-what?” He asked.

“You, took down a Bismuth? I could never do that! The closest I’ve ever been to a Bismuth, was when she almost shattered me. You’re amazing, Steven!”

“Heh… It’s nothing, really… I was just defending myself.”

“Still! Although, you are half Quartz, so I guess it shouldn’t be too shocking. But I still can’t believe such a young Gem could take down a Bismuth who fought in the war!” Steven blushed. “Well, she did try to shatter me, but I understand why- She thought I was the one who bubbled her. I’d be upset too, if the mother of my new friend lied to me.” Jade yawned. “I think you should get some sleep, Steven.”

“What about you? You seem sleepy, too.”

“Y’know, I think I will get some sleep. We have a long trip home tomorrow, after all.” Jade walked Steven back to the bed his father was still sleeping on, and gave him a hug before walking back to the couch.

The next morning, Steven and Greg were ready to go by the time Jade woke up. “Good morning, Jade!” Steven said when Jade walked into the main room. “Hmm? Oh, morning, Steven…” Jade said groggily. “Did you sleep well?”

“Not really. I wasn’t too comfortable on the couch.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe we’ll get a second bed if we come here again.” Jade smiled weakly. “Thanks, Steven.”

“No problem! That’s what friends do, right?” She nodded. “Yes, it is what friends do.”

A few minutes later, Jade, Greg and Steven checked out of the hotel and walked to the van outside. “This was nice. Thanks for taking me here, Mr. Universe.”

“No problem! I haven’t gone on a trip with a Gem since I came here with Pearl, but this was fun! By the way-” Greg looked at Jade. “Good luck with Garnet. I’m sure she’ll be really happy when you propose to Ruby and Sapphire.” Jade smiled at Greg. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.” They got into the van and drove back home to Beach City.

[huangfilms]

Florist!Donghyuck

summary: hi i really hate this person and i saw your sign that you make personal bouquets and i would like you to make one where it gives the message of how much i hate them if it isn’t too much to ask for 

requested by: a lovely anon!! thanks love❤️

(A/N) ajsdhgf okay so She Is Here!!! i don’t know what i wrote!! i always never know what i write cause when i write sometimes i just black out and suddenly its finished but i hope this is what you wanted you lovely anon!!! thank you for requesting <333

okay so you just recently went through a break up

that fool was the biggest asshole ever and you don’t even know w hy

so you broke up with them !!! good for u sis !! 

honestly they cheated on u with a close friend of yours and you just,,, didn’t care anymore

well you didnt care That Much Anymore

u still care to the point where u are 2day

and thats going to a florist to passive aggressively say how much u hate them in flowers

i mean u saw a sign that says ‘we make personalized bouquets!!’ so u hope they can just do this For You

so you walk in a lil angry 

and you have This Mad Face and the florist currently working thinks its the cutest thing

the florist is donghyuck

and he just sees you fuming and you look?? like a lil baby munchkin so adorable omg

and so hes just waiting for you to say something And Eventually You Do Say Something

he didnt expect this rant to come out of ur mouth

‘my s/o just cheated on me like a week ago and Yes i am still mad about it and i saw your sign about making personalized bouquets and i just wanted to ask if you can make the most Passive Aggressive bouquet so i can tell them that i hate them without actually telling them i hate them??’

and you say more but at the end of your little rant donghyuck is just trying to hold in his laughter because youre so adorable omg

and hes all like,, ‘sure sweets,,, also,,,,,,, do u need to talk about it? i can have it done by the end of the day and i could use sum company since ill b the only one on duty’

and u get shocked cause LMAOOO this cute ass florist really b out here! making ur heart beat fast! just by asking u to keep him company!

___ don’t fall for the first person to b nice to you since ur break up challenge [FAILED]

so ur like,,, ive got no plans so sure

and you just hang around and look through all of the flowers

and while youre looking around youre just asking him what each flower means

and some beautiful flowers have the most unpleasant meanings LMAOOO

and hyuck is just living for this cause you are just so adorable lkdfjha

it becomes like 5 PM so suddenly and you needa go home cause yo mama will b wondering where u been for the last few hours LMAO

so you tell him that hey,,, you gotta leave but youll come back tomorrow to pick up the flowers!!!

‘it was nice meeting you donghyuck ! im y/n’

and u see him melt from u saying his name

its the cutest sight omg

and so you just leave and hyuck is just in awe because wow ! youre adorable t h e

so he just spends the rest of his time making the bouquet of hatred

its not that much time, he closes the store at 7 since hes got a lot of stuff to do like hw since hes in his last year of highschool

but anywho

you come back the next day bright and early on saturday

and hyuck is there bright and early

and you just greet him with a big smile and then u remember why ur there and ur smile is g o ne 

so you asking him if the bouquet is done and how much it is and all that jazz

and he says that ur total comes out to an even $11 so u give him exact change and then u ask what kinda flowers he included

so he goes into detail about each of them (i know nothing of flowers just the most basic info like red roses mean a deep love or whatever LMAO)

then at the end of his explanation you just evilly grin and ask him to write on a card very nicely of the names of each flower he included

he does just that and then he gives you a big smile ! the actual sun? yes.

and you tip him some money and then you wave him goodbye! and then the actual sun is not shining anymore cause you left

when you give your ex s/o the bouquet, you tell them ‘here, search each flower that was written on this card and find out their meanings, have a nice life.’

and you just leave cause!! wooo frick them! u r free !

then u miss donghyuck even tho u met him like yesterday

smh

like he was real witty and funny when u guys talked

u just go home nd ur all like ‘SIGH’ and ur mom is just wondering if your okay LMAOO

but the next day u plan on seeing him just cause

but to make it not loo k like ur just trying to see him,,, u buy a SINGLE flower

when hyuck sees u walk in the shop he Lights Up omghhshs

The Actual Sun Im Telling You

‘hey hyuck!! how r u!!’ and he MELTS

YOURE SO DJSJJD AADORABLEKFJS

well anyway you guys chat for a while and you decide youre going to buy a carnation or something

‘just a single flower?’ and he shyly grins at u

you turn the cutest shade of pink abby uwus her way thru this headconnon pt three

then he chuckles a lil and you laugh a bit with him

while hes totaling up your single flower, you chat with him some more

‘here’s your flower, have a nice day!’ and he smiles His Smile u all know what im talking about

and youre Sad Again

this continues for weeks

you buying ONE flower, him being the sun, u guys pining talking

you guys get to know each other more and more over the weeks go by

and suddenly you have these???feelings??? for the sun??? yes.

but of course you dont Say Anything cause he might not like u like that and u would still like to talk to him even if its just as friends

but sis,,,, u have No Idea that donghyuck has been Pining Over You Since Forever

cause sometimes you ask him to pick your single flower for the day and its him confessing his feelings through flowers but you dont need to know that

the Cutest Shit I Know

but then he just sighs when you leave and he feels the hurt of unrequited love

hyuck bub,,, chill out sweetie

IF YALL WOULD JUST OPEN UR FUCKIN EARS THEN YALL WOULD BE TOGETHER BUT I MEAN I G U E S S

literally everyone is rooting for you guys,,,, i cant--

everyone sees The Eyes whenever you guys look at each other, but the other isnt looking at you

sometimes hyuck even turns Red just by looking at you, like you dont even catch him or anything he just turns red

but hyuck is just like,,,,, hnnngg maybe they like me,,,,,,,,, so he picks out an aster and tells u to search up the meaning for this one this time

(its a symbol of love/daintiness) 

and when u do your heart absolutely Soars

because!! he likes you too!!! what !!!

when you come back the next day you just find him and pull him into a hug and say ‘i like you too’ and hyuck turns pink and its dshalkadorablejdf

and so he asks you out on a date and its cute cause you say yes!

the day of the date he takes you to a flower field and he picks small flowers and sticks them in both your hair and his

ITS ! SO ! CUTE !

and many dates later hyuck finally asks you to be his! and u! yell ! yes!

saldkjhflakjsdh

OKAY BUT hycuk finding the most beautiful flowers to give you

like a red or white camellia !! (red means: youre a flame in my heart, white means: youre adorable!!)

and he just tells you the meanings cause you deserve to know and he wants u to hear it from him

ONE DAY HE GIVES YOU A BOUQUET OF DAISYS ! (innocence ! loyal love !) and hyuck is always shy when telling you the meanings

few months into your relationship, he gives you a red chrysanthemum,,,,, sister !

and you understand this one because you are IN LOVE with these flowers because they mean--

‘I love you.’

you then look up with a few tears in your eyes and you say--

‘i love you too, hyuck’ and you give him the biggest hug ever!!!

everything is soft everything is cute

im always soft whats new queens

but anyway!!! end!! hyuck as a florist would be so cute??? but him as ur bf AND a florist??? EVEN CUTER!

so! end!!! hyuck deserves the whole world omg

Masterlist

[awkwardshanandagins]

It’s A Good Day To Feel Sorry for Myself

Friday, June 30, 2017, was a day I’ll always remember.  I wish I was saying that because something amazing happened in my life, but unfortunately, it was not amazing.  It was, however, life changing.

My lovely friend and hair dresser, Julia, worked me into a 7:00 a.m. appointment.  I told her a few days before that I was going to postpone getting my hair done since I’m not working and I don’t know if or when short term disability will kick in.  My pubey gray hairs were popping out all over my damn head but without knowing if I’m going to be paid, I didn’t want to spend money where I didn’t have to.  She wasn’t having it.  She knew how terrible I was feeling and told me I would feel better with pretty hair. S he convinced me to still come in and said she wouldn’t charge.  She’s one of my people.  She’s one you know will lift your spirits when you’re having a hard time crawling out of your black hole.  Not only was she not charging me, she worked me in when she didn’t really have an opening.  So 7:00 a.m. it was.

I always enjoy my time with Julia.  She is friends with my sister and my parents and she knows everything about our family.  She’s easy to talk to and always listens while I bitch about my problems.  Hair stylists are also therapists so if you can’t afford both, pick a hair stylist, you’ll get therapy too!

I was a nervous wreck on Friday.  It was day three into my three to five day wait for my MRI results.   Were they really going to make me go five days? That means I would have sat all weekend long just letting this shit eat away at me.

I had a doctor’s appointment that day at 10:10 with my OBGYN.  It was the post op to the laparoscopy I had the month prior.  I got there early, per usual.  My whole life is pretty much me showing up early to things and waiting.  It’s a problem.  Anyways, I’m checking in at the little kiosk Kaiser offers now and my phone rings. I could tell by the number that it was Kaiser calling me.  Dear lord, here we go.  It was Dr. Miller, my optometrist wondering if I had a few minutes.  I continued to check in while his voice rang through my head.  Honestly, I don’t even know how I checked myself in, I was not even paying attention to what I was doing.  Lucky for me, I’ve been spending so much time at Kaiser it was like second nature.  Dr. Miller informed me my MRI results came back and he did find white matter on my brain.  I’m using the term “white matter” loosely here.  I feel like that’s what he said but I don’t fully remember.  Basically, he found lesions throughout my brain.  He said he’d be referring me to a neurologist and they’d be calling me to make an appointment.  The lesions are what they look for to diagnose MS.  Don’t worry he assured me, it doesn’t mean I have it and the neurologist would be able to give me more answers.  Don’t worry? Okay sure.  He was able to diagnose the optic neuritis from the MRI so that was a definite.  Wooo!  One answer.  Finally, one definite answer. Also, don’t worry? You, sir, can suck it!  How do you not worry?  If anyone can answer that about any situation ever, I would be eternally grateful.  Anyone?  Bueller?

How do you not worry when so far you have every symptom of MS that you’ve seen.  First sign, optic neuritis?  Check!  Lesions on your brain shown in a MRI? Check!  Every other symptom I’ve been reading about for the last week and a half?   Check check check! It’s MS; I’ve already diagnosed myself.  Thanks, doctors, for starting to catch up.

I felt like I was punched in the gut.  I was now standing by the elevator which would take me up to my OBGYN appointment, only I wasn’t getting on.  Nope, instead I was standing in everyone’s way not realizing I was being the person I hate.  I cannot stand when people act as if only their presence matters and you can fucking walk around.   Once I realized I was blocking a man in a wheelchair, I stepped out of the way.  “So do I have it or not have it?”  I’m sure I sounded completely panicked and breathy.  It could really go either way he said.  He ended the call by telling me to write everything down because the neurologist would pretty much interrogate me.  He also informed me he couldn’t fill out the FMLA paperwork and to take it to the neurologist.

My boss had pretty much forced me into taking time off earlier in the week.  I’m pretty sure it was God working through her.  He knew I needed to not be working and that I wouldn’t step back myself so he shoved me into it.  Not working relieved stress over the past two days, but dealing with HR and FMLA added it’s own level of stress.

Checked in for my appointment, I sat down in the waiting room as far away from people as I could.  My eyes were welted with tears and I’m sure my face was as white as a sheet.  I sat there thinking what this means for my life.  Should I call my husband? Or maybe text him? I was frozen. I didn’t do anything.  I just sat there, staring at a wall, mouth half opened with a glazed over look in my eyes.  I definitely looked crazy at this point.  That’s okay, crazy keeps people away.

The nurse, Lisa, probably the kindest soul I had encountered in some time, called me back. “How are you?”  I’m okay. Lies! I was far from okay but it is not socially acceptable to verbally diarrhea all over someone when they ask how you are. They are asking to be nice, not because they actually want to know. “Well, how have you been feeling?” She looked back at me, which by this time we were under some awesome fluorescent lights which make everyone look like a fucking nightmare and said “oh, you don’t look like you feel well.”

I completely broke down and not just because we were now standing next to the scale I knew my fat ass had to get on.   Poor Lisa.   She was so kind.   She got me kleenex while waiting for me to pull my shit together.   I somehow got a few words out and let her know I just got some scary news and hadn’t had time to process.  She rubbed my back while I sniffled and snotted all over the place for a few more seconds. It’s not unlike me to cry in public.  I’m a fucking disaster like 90% of the time.  At least this time I had good reason.  I let her know the news I had gotten and her face looked genuinely sad for me.

The table was unusually low to the ground this time.  I thought to myself that Dr. Barton would have to kneel if he was going to get face to face with my vagina. How odd.  We went through the normal questions while tears continued to stream down my face.  I had at least pulled myself together enough to talk.  She told me to get undressed from the waist down and the doctor would be in shortly.  I thought today was just for talking, but lucky me, I get to unleash the vagina.

Dr. Barton came in and immediately patted me on the back.  He said Lisa informed him of what’s going on and that he was so sorry.  He sat in front of me, which I was at like chest height from the damn table being so low.  Awkward.  He told me how his mom had MS and that if she were alive today, she would have been a different woman with all the advances they’ve made with treatments.  We talked about my pain I was still having.  Pelvic pain has been a constant in my life so I assumed the surgery just didn’t do what we had hoped.  He was concerned there were other issues.  He pushed around on my abdomen while giving me the ol’ one-two POW.  You know, the two finger exam.  Everything hurt.   Everything. He got the cold metal rod out.  My favorite.  That felt like a fucking dagger being jolted into my uterus.  I had my head turned towards the wall, tears still streaming down my face.  He told me he wanted to look at my ovaries since he did the ovarian drilling; he wanted to make sure they were healing appropriately.  Out comes the giant wand.  I seriously wanted to cry just looking at it.  Oh that’s right, I was already crying.  Holy balls that thing hurt.

“Well you have a large cyst on your left ovary.”  Cool.  Do you want to just punch me in the fucking face while you’re at it?  Just add it to the list of reasons I’m feeling sorry for myself and let’s move on.  He let me know it definitely wasn’t there during surgery and had developed since.  He assured me this is good news because tumors don’t usually show up this fast so it had to be a normal cyst.  He said he’d watch it to be sure but he was almost certain it would go away on it’s own.  If not, it would require more surgery.  That’s a fun thought right now.  I really hope at this point, you can read the sarcasm in my head.

Not only was the cyst present, he was sure I had a uterine infection from the surgery.  He apologized that he caused that but said sometimes it just happens, even with the sterile room and tools used during surgery.  He felt genuinely bad.  He knew it was just adding to my sadness.  I assured him it’s not his fault, simply what my body does.  I got an infection when I had a uterine biopsy as well.  That PA let the infection go for a few months though.  At least he was catching this now.  He said my pain is from a mix of the cyst and the infection.  He ordered an antibiotic shot to give me for the infection and quickly realized he couldn’t give it to me because of my penicillin allergy.   Instead, I got a lovely 14 day supply of doxycyclene.  Fun!  Now I can’t even drink my problems away and to top it off, a yeast infection will be in my near future no matter how much yogurt I eat or probiotics I take.  I’m convinced at this point my body hates me.

Finished up the appointment with a urine test and a super long line at the pharmacy.  Dr. Barton scheduled me an appointment for the following Monday to check in on the infection.  If I am still in pain by then, he’s going to add another antibiotic into the mix.  The optometrist’s office called and had scheduled me a follow up appointment as well, for the end of July to check my vision.  The neurologist’s office called me while I was in line at the pharmacy. They scheduled me for July 17th.  Why in the world would they make people wait that long?  I’m pretty sure they are here to torture me.  Too dramatic?

I had a lot of time just sitting by myself throughout the 2+ hours at Kaiser.  I tend to be a dramatic person, I’m aware of this.  Usually by now, I would have texted and called all my family members to tell them what is wrong with me but today was different.  This was a lot.  I needed time to process and gather my thoughts.  I still had that panicky dumb face on throughout it all but it kept people far away from me so I didn’t even try to change it.

As soon as I got in my car, I let go.  I let the tears gush out.   There had been a very slow and steady trickle but now it was like fucking Niagara Falls.  I pulled it together quick.  There was a cute little family by my car looking around for their car.  They had no idea where they parked.  I sympathized.  I’m usually that person.

First call I made was to Paul.  I told him what was going on while I sobbed. Sobbing, driving, talking on the phone, all with only one eye.   I’ve gotten pretty good at this over the last week.  By the end of the call, I could hear him crying on his end.  This shattered my heart.  I cannot stand to hear my husband cry.  He has the softest and kindest soul of anyone I know.  I hate that he was hurting.  I assured him I would be okay and everything would be fine.  I like taking care of other people, it helps take the focus off myself.

I called my mom next.  She and my dad had just recently retired and were on a trip to Maine with my aunts and uncles.  They almost didn’t even go because of everything going on but I assured them they needed to go and have some fun.  There was absolutely nothing they could do so there was no point in canceling.  My mom was so sad at everything I had to tell her.  She wept on the phone and promised me she didn’t do cocaine while she was pregnant with me.  This has been an ongoing joke in my family for sometime.  We have sick humor.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I cannot handle when my parents cry.  It breaks my heart to hear them so sad.  I promised them I would be fine and they needed to enjoy the rest of their trip.

I called my sister and told her what was going on.  She and my parents are my biggest support after Paul.  She told me she’d be over to pick me up shortly because I needed to get out of the house and be around people.  As much as I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, she was right.  We went and walked around Olde Town which is only a few blocks from my house.  We took her two youngest to the candy store and she and I got coffee at this cute little place called Global Goods.  We sat and talked and laughed.  My sister and I can always laugh.  We are our own biggest fans.  We find ourselves hilarious.  We went to the Army Navy Surplus store where I bought a pair of sweats I wanted to live in for the next few months.  I won’t actually allow myself to.  However, I am wearing them at this moment.  We all need a good pair of fat pants.   Then we headed to the library to check out some books and movies.  The library is my favorite place again.  I stopped visiting the library when I was super young.  I had been buying books I want to read over the past couple years which is so dumb. Why buy them when you can check them out for free?  Especially now that I’m not working.

I checked out a book on MS.  My sister opened it up and just so happened to start reading at a point where it said “it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself.”  Phew! Good thing because I’m in that stage hardcore.

I’m thankful my sister picked me up.  I didn’t know how much I needed her but I did.  She also ended up waxing my eyebrows which I didn’t even know how much I needed. They were quickly turning into a uni.  I spent the rest of that evening crying and shoving my face with pizza.   Probably should have eaten healthier at that moment but cooking was the last thing I wanted to do.

This has definitely not been one of my better weekends.  As much as I’ve been keeping myself busy, the crazy and usually depressing thoughts just pop back up at the most inconvenient times.  I know it will all be okay and in a sense, I am relieved at the news.  I have not felt well or even right for a few years.  Doctors have made me feel crazy as they’ve continually told me that I’m fine because my blood work was normal.  Obviously, not everything shows in your blood.  I should have pushed harder.  You definitely have to be your own advocate when it comes to doctors and I had let myself down the past couple years.

As devastating as the news is, I can see the silver lining.  There is now light at the end of this very dark tunnel.  I had given up hope that they would ever figure out why I always felt so terrible.  I had accepted the fact that I was probably just crazy and a hypochondriac.  I had accepted the fact that I was just always going to feel this way.  I no longer have to accept that.  With a diagnosis comes a treatment plan.  I can feel like a normal person again and that is something I never thought would come.

This is just yet another bump in the road on our infertility journey.  Life has some unexpected twists and turns but we’ll ride it out because we know God has good things in store for us, even though we may not understand his timing of it all.

[markleetrashh]

Body Positivity;Johnny

Request: girl.. you already know who i’m gonna request for the body posi series (my sweet giant) 😂😂💜

aye im back with another body positivity post!!

im glad some of you actually read the winwin one

i know how many of you are weak™ for johnny so im gonna write it in such a way that it can help boost your confidence

hope this helps!!

let’s go

okay knowing johnny, he’s 101% positive and always encouraging/supportive

he’d do ANYTHING just to ensure you that you’re perfectly normal and have no flaws at all

says “i love you” every other hour

followed by kisses and hugs

sometimes it’s all warm and sweet, his soft lips just brushing lightly against yours

other times he gets a little aggressive, pushing them harshly onto yours and as his hands would touch each and every one of your curves

not because he’s angry,

because he’s frustrated that you can’t see the same about of beauty he sees in you

and it makes him sad that you feel insecure at times

but don’t worry, he’ll get over it quickly

and probably shower you with lots and lots of compliments

“my queen”

“forget wearing makeup today, you look gorgeous”

“anyone seen an angel before?? because i see one everyday oh my god”

“and she’s beautiful”

when he’s in the mood too, he loves kissing and pecking each and every inch of you skin

as his fingers trace them lightly too

“god babe you’re so beautiful”

“it’s a blessing to be with you”

and when you get all shy and deny

he denies it even more and tries to convince you to love yourself

which always helps because he’s just too sweet to reject??

“see!! so many people were staring at you today, your beauty attracts too many people”

“what if they were staring for another reason?”

“please babe, there’s nothing else on you but pure beauty?? what do you mean?”

“johnny you’re being so cheesy right now”

“just saying the truth”

worships you like an actual queen

always complimenting you and making comments/sounds to boost your confidence

“oh damn”

“wooo”

“that’s my girl”

“ahh!!”

/claps hands excessively/

and this sight is too adorable to watch you end up just feeling all fuzzy and 10× better about yourself

is even more open about pda and always has his arms around your hips, waist and shoulders

and every piece of clothing he sees, he’s try to compare it with you

“this dress is nice… but you know what’s better? if you wear it”

“please babe i dont think i’d look good with it”

“try it on, trust me”

and you do because it’s johnny™ and his fashion evaluation skills

and as johnny mentioned you actually look stunning

so he ends up buying it for you

which is also why he spends lots of money on clothes that can help boost your confidence

but at the same time he also plays a major role in helping to push if up too

thanks to his sweetness and convincing words, you’re now much more confident about your body and how you look

whatever insecurities you have, johnny would help get rid of it for you

because he loves you

with all his heart

and all he wants is for you to be happy

[dippedanddripped]

It’s been a bad week in the fight between fast fashion and the planet. First, Missguided came in strong with the big ‘fuck you climate breakdown’ that is their £1 bikini, which, despite some serious online backlash, sold out almost instantly. Next up, the Environmental Audit Committee confirmed that the government has rejected every single one of the recommendations in its ‘Fixing Fashion’ report they released earlier this year.

Their ideas to tackle issues such as waste, pollution, modern slavery, and over-consumption within the fashion industry included a tax of 1p per garment to be paid by retailers, a ban on incinerating and landfilling unsold stock, environmental targets for companies with an annual turnover of £36million or more and an ‘Extended Producer Responsibility’ scheme that would force retailers to take responsibility for the waste they produce.

All solid ideas that would make big, sweeping changes and transform the industry for the better. But, the government wants to keep their pals rich, so it looks like we’re going to have to sort this shit out ourselves. Here’s how.

CONTACT YOUR MP

The government might have rejected the recommendations, but it doesn’t mean the case is closed (and we all know they love to perform a dramatic U-turn on the big stuff every now and then). After a lot of protest and action, parliament finally approved a motion to declare an environment and climate emergency earlier this year, proving they can and do bend to pressure (even if it takes years). The fashion industry contributes around 10% of global greenhouse emissions and produces 20% of global waste water, meaning it’s closely tied to the issue of climate breakdown – which is proving harder and harder for politicians to ignore. Contact your local MP and tell them it’s important to you, tell them it will sway how you vote, and ask what their intentions are. Make this too hard for them to ignore too.

nobody: missguided: sHOp ouR £1 biKiNi!! fUcK thE enViroNmenT! bUy iT jUst fOr tHe sAke oF iT! fAst faShiOn woOo

25 people are talking about this

CONTACT OFFENDING BRANDS, PUBLICLY

Since sustainability has become a buzzword, brands have scrambled to tell the world how green and ethical they are – which would be great if it was true. But once you do a little digging, their claims are normally pretty flimsy and nothing more than greenwashing. Instead of letting brands set the narrative with carefully chosen words, contact them publicly (aka @ them on Twitter) about their ethics, factories, fabrics, and garment workers. Even if they don’t answer, their silence might just say it all.

KEEP YOUR CLOTHES FOR LONGER

The idea that individuals can fix an entire multi-billion pound industry all by themselves is obviously insane, but there are a few things that most of us can do that will genuinely help. Keeping your clothes for longer is a big one. As in, literally make zero effort and leave the clothes you have hanging in your wardrobe instead of getting rid of them.

We spend less money on clothes as a percentage of our household income than we did 20 years ago yet buy 400 per cent more items of clothing and keep them for half as long. Extend the life of your clothes by just three months, and it will result in a five to ten per cent 10% reduction in their water, carbon, and waste footprints. Make that nine months and the figures increase to 20 to 30 per cent. And after you’ve waited for a few weeks, you’ll probably like them again anyway.

BUY FEWER CLOTHES

We know it sounds obvious, but seeing as shopping is practically a default part of living for most of us it can be a difficult habit to break (check out our guide to tackling this). With over 100 billion garments produced every single year, there’s already more than enough to go around, but the massive turnover of trends (plus feeling sad, feeling happy, celebrating, commiserating, being stressed, being heartbroken, being bored…) keeps us buying more and more.

If the fashion industry carries on producing at its current rate, it will account for a quarter of the world’s carbon budget by 2050 but if we slow down, we might just be able to avoid it. It’s worth noting, though, that as much as 30 per cent of clothing made is never actually sold, so supply and demand aren’t always proportional. As individuals, with this in mind, we can only do so much really do need some input from brands and government on this one.

CHOOSE SECONDHAND FIRST

By now, pretty much everyone is over the whole ‘but what if someone died in it?’ horror when it comes to secondhand clothes, so when you do need to buy something, and you’re able to do so, make second hand your first port of call. Scouring charity shops, vintage stores and markets, eBay, and apps like Depop, Vinted, and Vestiaire, before you given in and buy new: not only will it extend the lifespan of the garment and therefore reduce its footprint, it stops another garment entering circulation. And that’s before we even get started on the £££s you’ll probably save.

VOTE FOR CHANGE

Sorry to break it to you (okay fine, this is likely news to no one) but fashion is a huge, dirty, complicated, massively unregulated, multi-billion pound industry. It’s fun and creative and expressive but it’s also 100 per cent serious enough to have a place in political discussion and if you care about its impact, you should vote for change. It’s a pretty new issue on the political mainstage and not that many MPs are speaking up on the subject, but people like Mary Creagh and Caroline Lucas (who are both on the EAC) are stand-out examples. Oh, and the ones who rejected the EAC’s recommendations? The Tories, duh!

ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS

There’s one key difference between brands who are genuinely sustainable and brands who aren’t: the brands who are love to answer questions and the ones who aren’t absolutely hate to. If you’ve gone to the trouble of carefully selecting a sustainable cotton farming co-operative or setting up a fairtrade factory, you’re going to want to talk about it. If you’ve cobbled together a half-arsed paragraph about trying to be ethical wherever possible, you’re probably not. So ask questions all the time. Here’s a few to get you started: Who makes your clothes? Where are they made? What are they made from? Where are your factories? What is your waste policy?

No 1p garment tax, no ban on incinerating/landfilling unsold stock, no environmental targets and heavy reliance on SCAP's voluntary scheme (run by WRAP which has lost 80% of its government funding since 2010). So disappointing. https://twitter.com/CommonsEAC/status/1140861798268252161 …

We have published the Government's response to our #sustainablefashion report. Read the full response here http://bit.ly/2wXZo4T #EACFixingFashion

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SUPPORT AND BOOST LEGISLATIVE CHANGE

While we’re waiting for our government to get its act together, you can support and signal boost legislative change elsewhere. Not only will this prove to our government that moves like that are actually popular, it will show other people what’s possible on a wider scale. The Bangladesh Accord, set up after Rana Plaza to keep garment workers safe, garnered massive public support which helped it gain 220 brand sign-ups. And more recently, surging support for the Greens around Europe prompted France to ban the destruction of unsold consumer goods after the governing party made eco-credentials a major part of their manifesto for the European elections. Spread the message on social media! Tell your friends! Shout it from the rooftops if you feel like it! But make it known: change is needed now.

SHARE FACTS, BUT DON’T SHAME

The sustainable and ethical fashion movement is growing fast, but it’s built on privileged foundations and thin white women wearing linen on Instagram have basically become the face of it. Despite the ultra-curated facade, there’s a plethora of obstacles that are often overlooked. Not everyone can afford to start buying organic cotton clothes at five times the price they’re used to paying, for instance, and it’s difficult to find affordable, ethically made clothes that go above a size 16. It’s easy to point the finger at people who shop at Primark, but for the movement to work it needs to be inclusive and understanding. Share the shocking facts and talk about the problems with the industry, but don’t shame individuals. We need to work together on this one!

[dogon779-blog]

See you soon

Today is the day, the day when I finally get my surgery. I been waiting months for this so much pain has been built up I'm ready to be free of pain. Me and my girlfriend Ash talked about this day and thought how good life was gonna be. So May 4th I went in for my surgery, I was ready but I also was terrified but it seems like I wasn't alone as my parents and Ash were crying too. “You guys are such cry baby jezz” Said quietly with a chuckle but without knowing a tear was going down my face. Dam I was trying to keep my tears in, I didn't want them to worry about me. “Says you” My dad jokingly said, I'm just glad I'm not the only jokester. (Wooo) the door opens suddenly and the smell of a hospital floods the room like a storm. “Hey parents and mr and Ms” He laughed but his smile left fast as it came. Things got surios he went on and on about doctor talk, It only made things more scary. *Knock knock* ”Bradleigh are you ready to go?” A nurse asked. My mind went crazy I still had so much to say and so much to do all my emotions came out at once and I didn't know what do you. “Okay say your goodbyes and follow me please, Father you can come too” I followed quietly behind her not knowing where to go, Then she turned into a room *prep room* “Okay if you may just lay down on the bed for me please” she said so openly like this was the best bed in the world!? More doctors came in, I felt overwhelmed and started to panic but got myself in control. “Ok we willl put a mask on you which will make you sleepy” One of the doctors said. “ Take big breaths in and outttt, there you go just like that” “Hey can I get a bucket of chicken after this” The room filled with laughter……. *12 hours later* I was still under in drug indouced sleep I don't know how long I been sleeping but it felt like forever. My eyes creeked open very slower I must have fell back to sleep 20 times. I finally got the strength to move my head to my right and I seen my mother. “Ahinruoebeijsh” I tried to speak but I was still to sleepy to speak clearly. My mom laughed at me then I started to cry not because I wanted to just because I did. It's like a baby being born if they don't cry then something is wrong so it's a good thing I was crying it ment I still felt my back and pain. But of course my mom freaked out and ran and got a nurse, His name was Tyrone. He put medication in my iv to help the pain but before I knew it I was back asleep again. I didn't wake up until tomorrow morning but that's only because they woke me up and aslo I smelled bacon so I was ready to wake up lol. The breakfast cart was coming out and giving out breakfast, I got well my dad got me bacon, eggs and sausage. But little did I know how hard it would be to eat snice my whole Spain is in allot of pain and sensitive. So I got like 25% of one piece of bacon down before I quit. Then before knowing it I was asleep again all the way until 12 tomorrow. Let me just say these medications are very strong and they kick my ass like a kid playing kickball. So another day where I still don't know what's going to happen. But I was awoken by two lovely nurses, Jae and rox. Apptly they want to move me from my bed to a chair but remember I can barley move as is. “Okay bradleigh we are going to lift you up slowly, tell us if it hurts.” I was about to scream before they even moved me just because I was scarred. But secretly they amped up my meds just for this moment, So they started to move and I didn't even feel a thing thankfully. So eventually the nurses got me into the chair. Lucky me there was fooodddd!!!!! So in the end I was happy. But little did I know it would be my last day at that hospital before I got transferred to a rehab hospital. This is when everything went downhill, after eating and getting back into my bed. I finally decided to ask where Ash has went? My mom replied “She left shortly after you went in” I was confused because she said she would spend the whole weekend with me so why isn't she here. So I asked for my phone back and it's my first time using it snice the surgery. *Samsung startup screen* I waited for it to start then boom it's up, I was expecting a message or a missed call but there was nothing. So I was gonna sen*Knock knock* “Coming in bradleigh, Sorry for the interpurten but we moved your transfer from tomorrow to today within two hours” I didn't want to leave or move yet but I couldn't do anything about it. So my mom packed my bags and they took me to the ambulance for transferring. To be honest I was nervous again but I didn't have anyone there to support me. After a long 20min ride that felt like a lifetime we finally arrived to the rehab hospital. The doors on the ambulance opened them soon after my cart start to move. They are moving me to my new room. Where I found out I had a room mate, His name was hybob he was a Indian kid probably 9 years old but I couldn't tell why he was there, no real obvious reasons. Little later we were all set in my new “Room”. I was too tired to do anything, that trip from hospital to hospital had wore me down. So I went to sleep once again not knowing what to expect when I wake up.i slept until 5 in the morning I wanted to flip to my other side but I physically can't sense my Spain. So I lied there for about 2 hours before my dad woke up which then he called the nurse to flip me. But then they also start giving me self indouced medication instead of iv. It's so dam nasty like I wanna throw up it turns my stomach so bad. I couldn't eat because of it. So when I did eat I would eat a salad, Which is healthy but for me I don't need healthy rn. So day by day my stomach was getting worse and I ate less but I tried my best to make sure no one knew. To make everything worse my girlfriend wasn't answer, But to be honest no one was answering not even my best friend. I just needed someone to be there for me, I was struggling my mind was getting to me. I left voicemails waiting for a reply which never came, Until the very next day when my girlfriend finally called back. “Hey baby, Everything okay I haven't heard from you in a while” I said sadly “Oh sorry I didn't notice, I was busy….*in a faint voice which grew louder then boom laughter* (Male voice)” Haha I gotcha now” “Um I got to go bye” she hung up before I got the chance to even say anything. Who was that? I feel like I know that voice, Just shut up don't worry everything well be fine, i thought to myself. It was time for therapy anyways so I had to focus on getting better, We we're working out for about an hour before he let me go back to my room. As I was wheelchairing myself into my room I heard my ringtone, maybe that's my girlfriend calling back but soonly realized it wasn't a call it was a notification from Instagram. Someone sent me a video, I heard of this kid before but never really talked. So I clicked on the video and my heart stopped I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My girlfriend was making out with my best friend…. How could they, I trusted them why me, why now, just why. Its my fault I'm in this hospital, It's my fault I had to get this surgery, All of this is my fault. If I wasn't here then none of this happened but now it's to late *Grabs the iv bag line and wraps it around my neck* No one will get tthe chance to hurt me again *Wraps it tighter and throws myself off the bed making the iv choke me* I don't wanna live to tomorrow I wanna die Fuck tomorrow, I'm dieing tonight, My own life is like my kryptonite, I know this isn't right, but I lost this fight, So fuck today I'm not living tonight. No time to ask if I'm alright so just goodbye and goodnight…. *Beeeeeeeep*”Nurses to b11 we've a 212” The nurses come in and are shocked to there soul, They never ever seen something like this “Check his pulse”......”Hes gone, Wait what are these?” “ They look like cuts, Go check his file and see if he has any mental health issues” *2 mins later* “Been struggling with depression for then yeah*Ringtone blares* It was his girlfriend calling, one of the nurses pick it up “Hello?” The nurse cationly said “Umm is Kenny there? I need to talk to him” she said but Kenny isn't alive anymore, The nurse didn't know how to tell her other then just coming out “Ma'am I don't know how to tell you this but, Kenny took his own life today” The nurse mumbled. It was complete slience “Hey baby hurry up the movie is starting” Came from the background of her phone “um I will call back later” she said. The nurse yelled “Fucking hell because of you he's dead, All he needed was a friend but instead of being there for him you decided to cheat on him with his best friend” Then the nurse hung up but then suddenly “Kenny I'm here” a girl named McKenzie showed up holding flowers with such a beautiful smile which disappeared and quickly was joined with tears flowing down her face. She ran towards Kenny until one of the nurses grabbed her “KENNY NO PLEASE NO” McKenzie screamed. She was escorted out the room and taken to the waiting room. Little did Kenny know McKenzie saved up money to buy flowers and a taxi ride to get all the way there to spend a whole week with him. Now it's to late for that, He's gone forever now. *A week later at Kenny's funeral* “Kenny was a light hearted funny person, He never wanted to hurt anyone but only to help. So to see someone go through so much pain just to make other people happy, Makes me proud of him but also sad that no one wanted to make him happy. Today I wish he was here just to here his corny jokes, Knowing him he would have climbed into the casket and said “Well it's nap time see you tomorrow” *Laughter* But today is yesterdays tomorrow and he isn't here. So let's not forget him ever because he never got a tomorrow.” Kenny's dad said. “Hey Kenny's dad” McKenzie said “ Oh hey what a nice surprise, McKenzie right?” “Yeah but how did you know?” “Well Kenny talked about you and always told us stories about yall. He was grateful to call you his friend” “Aww I didn't know that, But should've knew he always liked talking”.... *Funeral ended* McKenzie stayed behind to say her final goodbyes at his grave, She talked and talked about there life and what they've done. But it ended in tears. “ Well the sun is going down so I should go home, See you soon kenny” McKenzie said. Later that week her mom went into McKenzie room but couldn't find her but noticed a letter to Kenny on her desk. Which read out “Dear Kenny I can't believe your gone, I wake everyday excepting your good morning text with a light but generous conversation. I go to school and walk the halls waiting to see your face or hear your voice but all I get is a emptiness slience. Everywhere I go and everything I do, I think about you and think how we used to do stuff. It's really hard to see everyone act like life is normal and nothing happen, But to me life will never be normal again. I still have so much to say to you but I won't get the chance too. So I will put everything in this letter.. Kenny you showed me so many beautiful things in life and gave me unforgettable memories which I will hold close forever. I always had a crush on you but you were dating Ash so i just kept it in. All I wanted is for you to be happy and if it meant letting you date Ash then let it be. So I tried my best everyday to make you smile because little to be known you had such a amazing smile which complemented your blue eyes.. God your eyes there were so filled with love and life I never get tired of them. Damnit Kenny I loved you and always wanted to tell you but I was sacred now I regret not telling you. Now I have to live with knowing I won't ever get the chance to… You were the best thing in life I had and it got taken away, I really miss you Kenny and I'll see you soon I promise” ~Mckenzie Her mom was crying by the end of the letter but wondered where she was *Woolsh* a cold breeze flew by her neck. She looked behind her and seen a open window, Her heart sunk. It took everything to walk to the window and look down to see her precious daughter laying completely face first 27 floors down on the road. McKenzie took her life at age 16…. The end

[quonit-aceattorney]

3-3 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

Q: Got to the next one. Funny name.

Q: Hey this is like the game over thing :0

Q: Didn't even start and I lost already

Q: What did I do wrong Gumshoe

Maya shut up

Q: The hell happened

Q: Crap how and why would anybody dress as me

Q: MAGGIE

YOU HAVE HORRIBLE LUCK

Q: Idea: killer was also phoney me

Q: Wow this place is fancy

GQ: MAGGEY TELL ME ABOUT THE DRAWIN

Q: The fancy place reset :0

OH MY GOD

This place is great

Q: Where the HELL did my magic rock go D:<

I don't see it in my inventory!!!

Q: Oh thank you locks for still appearing

I was very worried a bout it not being in my inventory

FUCK SO IT IS GONE

Q: ...to the park?

Q: Mr what is that red thing on your nose I think you should stop touching it

Q: Doves are usually grey too

Q: Apples are good. Let's talk about that. What is your favorite Apple phoenix? I myself like granny Smith's and pink ladies

Q: Iell I didn't get the old man to talk but it seems the newspaper I got landed Maya a job so

Q: Wow Maya is actually gone. Guess it is time to examine everything again

Q: Well it seems the detention center has reset so that is good

Whatever she isn't here

Office reset

Haha I should really be more upset when Maya leaves

Whatever she is fine

Q: Yay the police station reset!

Gummy!!!

Whatever godot is fun

Q: Of only somebody pointed out one of the many many differences between me and the phoney that trial

Q: Godot I give you passed on a lot of things and I like you but I really wanna know why you hate me

Q: Alright were going back to fancy restaurant

this part was great actually

BF: Hahaha

And then Maya was kidnapped by the effeminate restauranteur, the end

Q: oh hey the restaurant reset. Examine everything?

oh no there is a person here

hell other your head looks like it had been hurt :(

goodbye i guess

HI MAYA

Maya: So how do i look? Phoenix: ... Phoenix: I think you should quit being a spirit medium. yes

let's just take a break and eat food sounds like a plan

i duno if i even have that much on me

oh crap well i guess i am getting lunch

i don't have 50$ on me Gant can i have 50$ oh ya you're in prison/dead

Q: Maya eat my lunch

dammit maya stop taking my money

COME BACK HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD

Eh maybe some other random person why enjoy it

Q: examine everything

the magmenta!!!

I missed it so much!!!

it's probably poison

Q: gonna take a break for around 40 minuets

Q: that took so much longer and it is partially my fault

Q: Also I did a stupid redraw of one of Zarla's drawings from like 2007 and it looks good but ack i redrew a thing she drew in 2007. Once i feel like it i'll send a picture

i think we may be done in the kietchen. We got some stuff and it may be important so something somewhere may have reset

hey the police department reset!

yesss gumshoe

present him stuff

Gumshoe is this poison

tell meee

wow that's a lot of money

have to go again

Q: finally back and i have muffins to munch on while I play

Q: i remember this music

this is matt's theme whatever

to the other rooms

hey the park reset

there is a motercycle here now

STOP SCREAMING

WHY ARE YOU YET

WHY IS HE RED

Hey he said crap woo another close to swearing word

why are there so many weird people in this trian

trial

Q: case

whatever the fuck

im also saying that dipshit isn't phoenix write

OH FUCK

how did nobody suspect anything about him???

and if they did, WHY DID NOBODY SAY ANYTHING?

OLD GUY phoeny me left and i am mad i didn't punch him while i could

Q: 

i think they were dressed alright enough

locks woo

i am so glad i have the magmenta back

Q: examine everything?

at least there aren't as many rooms

Q: got back to game and decided to see if i can break the locks

Q: i wiiiiin

Q: MIA

OH MY GOD

she is using her boobs to her advantage

i forgot her completly now

*forgive

MIA I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID I THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Q: Phoenix she is giving up her dignity for you thank her don't judge her

Q: time to move

wooo it reset

Q: iii wiiiin

noooo phoenix this guy can't be the killer

it's that moron red skinned phoenix impersonating asshole >:(

SHIT GODOT

NO

STOP

I AM WINNING GO AWAY

Q: i usually give you passed but not now GO AWAY

Q: that red dude might've put the winning tcken in her pocket when he ran off

i hate red guy

save music

GUMSHOE

Q: well judge, THAT GUY WAS A FAKE FROM HELL

aw he called me trusty

BF: Lol Tigre? XD

quonit-aceattorney

yes

we didn't learn his name yet

Q: but i am amusing that is his name now

BF: Ooooh sorry

Q: it is fine i don't think it was a big spoiler

BF: Yeah Hahaha, he’s not exactly subtle

Q: WHY DID NOBODY QUESTION HIM

he was probably too intimidating but really one person had to right?

"MY OCCUPATION IS DICK GUMSHOE"

BF: Lol think of this whole case as like...one of those old Saturday morning cartoon plots where the good guy gets a really really obvious double

Q: pffft

BF: Like the double has bolts sticking out of their neck and they constantly yell about how evil they are

Q: i can imagine this.

BF: And yet you still have that scene where they are standing side by side and all the good guys are like HOWEVER WILL WE TELL THEM APART

Which one is the real one how can we be suuuure

That’s basically what this case is, haha

Q:

hehe

stoooooop

Q: I wonder who in the end will get to use the ticketyQ: maggey didn't do it mr tigre didQ: HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BLOODSTAIN JUDGE GUY.

I say this like it was obvious and makes sense to anybody in the game stupid spoiler i pretend is a headcanon keeps proving itself to be true

Q:

Phoenix: You don't need to be told! Just look at it! SHUT UP PHOENIX >:( THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID HEADCANON. whatever let's ignore that and get back to figuring out the bloodstain. sry godot

no there is other stuff

LIKE THAT TIGRE GUY

Q:

Phoenix: Is it possible that somebody could've put the bottle in her pocket? Me: YES Gumshoe: ya! Happens to me all of the time! Me: REALLY

well if i had my phoeny's profile i would but nope sorry godot no evidence yet

Q:

Everyone: :talking about old man guy throwing seeds: Godot: Hah! It was nothing. I caught every single one of them with my teeth! impressive. DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CLAIM???

Q: i mean empty bags can have meaning why not?Q: well the stuff inside the bag was empty

hey that worked!

nice im cool now

Q: no he didn't put his medication in, red guy didQ: BUT WOO i am winningQ: we all died a little bit inside

maggey he was doing what he was supposed to do and was relying on me to figure out what was wrong with it. he didn't do anything.

Q: old guy tell us your occupationQ: don't lie that she put something in it

IT'S 2019 IN THE GAME NOW YOU SHOULD GET USED TO IT

also wasn't he looking at a sports paper right he was listening to the radio right

Q:

Phoenix: Did she really put that in there?? Phoenix you know not to trust this guy he is wrong she didn't

Q: MR I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS "WASTING". I MEAN HE DIED AFTER TAKING A SIP.

Q:

Phoenix: Congratulations. You have earned the title of Battiest Man To Grace A Courtroom. I love sarcastic phoenix

Q:

Phoenix: Anybody could've word that outfit! Even me! Judge: Mr.Wright please spare the court of any further mental anguish from that image hahahahaha

Q: the bow was blue but whatever. also that is still part of the outfit.

the bow was ORANGE

EDGEWORTH IS PURPLE AND THE BOW IS ORANGE NOT RED. I DON'T CARE IF THE GAME SAYS OTHERWISE IM RIGHT

Q:

Old guy: This is harassment! I mean what are you doing?

REALLY

Q: how about the apron? Like the godamn bloodstainQ: doing lots of stuff in game i should document it moreQ: coffee cupQ: it woooorked

LEFT HANDS AND RIGHT HANDS

ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR THAT

IT IS A VERY COMMON THING IN THIS SERIES

now you have to sing. sing for us now.

who cars about your age dammit

respect the coffee kudo

the eye lense is TEAL NOT GREEN UGH THIS GAME CAN'T GET ITS COLORS RIGHT

Q: AND SOMEHOW POINTING THAT OUT GOT ME A WIN

and his ear whatever but i still win

Q: HE IS SINGING THE PIDGEON SONG AND EATING THE BIRDSEEDS WOOO I WINQ: back to investigation?

no? okay

Q: but godot finished his coffee! How can we continue now???Q: but he didn't knock over the vase? look at the photo he didn'tQ: your memory is completly unreliable

goooooddbyyyyyyeee

Q: think i can be done for nowQ: game because working is dumbQ: let's bring up that jerk again why not

RED GUY WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Q: Maya: Introduce me next time, Nick! I wanna meet Xin Eohp too!

no

Q: to the detention center

dammit

nvm then

hey gumshoe!

Q: don't be sad gumshoe there are still lots of people that love you and maggey will probably be fine with you againa fter this is overQ: dont lie to me gumshoe i can ee right through it

unless it's in court the locks don't work in court

i win

Q: Maya: I wanna try it!

Phoenix: Then buy a ticket! With your own money! See Phoenix is smart

Q: no im not going tot the park i don't wanna see him right now i wanna talk to gumshoeQ: 2019: The year of gumQ: SEE GODOT KNEW THAT THAT GUY WAS A FAKE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SEE HIM FOR THAT

GODOT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ANYBODY

Q: nniiiiice we can go visit his work nowQ: what do you mean the color of your coat looks more detective-y

also im still confused about if franz sent back the coat and kept the evidence or if gumshoe just got a new coat.

to blue screens because i don't wanan see red guy

wtf is with her

Q: I would say this isn't 2019 but i have no right to say that yet because i have never lived in 2019Q: at least she is letting me examine evidence

Trigre >:(

future from 2004 or future from 2019

Q:

Phoenix: Computers are only as smart as the humans who use and make them are ...you know nothing...

Q: im about done here

to the park

Q: the scooter is backQ: well he isnt here that is fine

oh hey that girl is here

is she threatening to kill him or

Q: great so tiger is also involved in not only impersonating me, but also killing glen, and this guy's money problem

to the office

gumshoe you just left go to your meeting

Q: well im headed to where i was going again

hi girl again

imma go touch the desk

Q: of course it's the same color as my suit he used it to pretend to be meQ: HI TIGRE

WHAT DO YOU WANT

Q: well at least i can talk to her now

no maya

Q: if you want coffee just ask godotQ: im to go look in other placesQ: see mr kudo is giving us information it's a ll good

Q:

Phoenix: maybe he's trying to avoid us?" It always feels that way when i try to find somebody in this game and they aren't there. None of them have ever been trying to avoid me but i guess if you think that that guy is trying to avoid you he is

hey maggey is back

Q: i have the cd~

Q: took a minute to fix the sound

why am i How-aceattourney

stupid tumblr

BF: TumbllllllrrrrrQ: oh ya the creepy womanQ: and she wont react to the profile so i guess im gonna leave now

wonder what is going on at this police station

Q: more game.

oh ya i was stuck

hmmm

go talk to people and investigate things

oh ya i still have gumshoe's lunchbox

Q: i know you're mad at him but pls

:shows paper badge: oh hey is that your badge WOW DOES MY BADGE REALLY LOOK THAT SHITTY

Q: ALSO DON'T BITE MY BADGE >:( AND IF IT LEAVES TEETH MARKS IT IS REAL.Q: dammit no new conversation topics

wonder if something else updated though

niiice the police department! I doubt that anything will be there though

how much does that guy at the desk get paid

GUMSHOE :D

oh damn that sounds bad. Wonder if it is from a specific somebody i hate or his girlfriend

Q: it's obvious what lady mayaQ: I was gonna ask what computer virus but asking what one is is dumb

though this did some out in 2004... nah still unacceptable. This is taking place in 2019.

GUMSHOE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ONE IS

it's 2019 guys get with the times

Q: so much of this game has already happened i feel so uncomfortable now that this is taking place in the future

OH THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME OKAY

still bad but

and not only that they're more scary when they are attacking the POLICE

i mean mr.godot is a highly specific example but sure if i was sick and sneezed on him he might get sick too

oh so they are using that specific example to make fun of me again har har so funny guys

Q: OH SO THE GUY MADE A VIRUS

WELL SCREW THE VITIM IM HAPPY HE DIED

he probably had a reason for it but i don't believe it

Q: ya that family sounds dumb we should arrest themQ: i am angry right now

more stupid last names

ya guess who im going to stand up to

IM BRAVE

IM STRONG

I THINK IM PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED

I'VE RUINED SOME PRETTY EVIL PEOPLE'S LIVES

IF THESE GUYS ARE EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

IF THEY AREN'T EVIL I WILL TAKE THEM ON

I AM NOT SCARED TO MAKE BOLD CLAIMS LIKE THIS

Q: oh uhhhh maggey still hates you and we had to eat them. Sorry dude... how about you go do something that will make you happyQ: eh if anything goes wrong and she doesn't eat them we can just threaten her with a gun. Always does the trick for me.Q: when did maggey leave whatQ: well i need to sleep now. Lost again but im lost at a different point

Q: "I'll stop spamming you now"

:opens Ace Attorney:

Just trying to get unstuck i don't think much will happen, only got 30 mins

lets see where am i

don't think i can get any locks but i don't think there is much harm in trying

can't break one lets look for another

Q: im still stuck imma go try againQ: found a thing in my inventory i think this is important

I love my magic rock

:00000 it worked

well ya your dad is the stupid c long name thing so of course that has to do with you

oh hey i broke a lock

from the looks of that cutscene that looks like mr tigre

one more lock

Q: I BROKE IT

WOOOO I AM UNSTUCK

Q: she crying :(Q: ugh no room is updating

i need to get the other locks i bet

Q: i win. That was easier than thoughtQ: why are we discarding so much stuff

:o a room reset

DAMMIT TIGRE GO AWAY

i swear if he tazes me

SO HE PUNCHED ME

I'm done with people assaulting me in some way and then taking my evidence

GUMSHOE

Q: GUMSHOE

SAAAAVE MEEEEE

thank you gumshoe

that improved my opinion of him greatly. There was nothing negitive but now there is more love to give

Did phoenix even every tell anybody about that time von karma tazed him and ran off with the letter

alright i need to sleep and there is a savepoint. yay! Also! GUMSHOE SAVED ME!

Q:

haha

at least he is dead and his daughter is better

alright i am sleeping now

Q: I can't sleep sadly

Not because I am too tired but for other reasons. I'll keep playing

MAGGEY do you think I can predict ANYTHING that will happen in a trial at all

I'm only play because of how Gumshoe saved my butt back there

Hey Gumshoe :D I am forever in your debt because of what you did back there

Q: Looks like we found the medicationQ: Oh ya I forgot about GodotQ: (He just called the judge a loser)Q: Oh so that guy will testify. One of the people who almost helped with the repeat of what happened with the letterQ: OH now I know he is covering up the existence of tigerQ: Phoenix your cover up swears suckQ: This game is so obsessed with left and right being contradictionsQ: How dare Godot say I shouldn't existQ: Playing a bunch not saying much though

I am Winning and godot is still making weird metaphors

Q: LOUD RUMBLEQ: I hope I can make tigre suffer

Save point. I think I can sleep now

Q: maya just because tigre is coming to the stand doesn't mean we are gonna win

gumshoe!!!

Q: well usually we have no idea what the trump card is

(fuckin letter)

Q: sense when have I lost a case?

Making matt guilty isn't loosing

making him fuck off was the true prize i won that

back to trial

Judge do not be intimidated. He's like 9 feed below you.

Q:

Tigre: WHO DA HELL CALLED ME TO DIS HOLE WAS IT YOU Phoenix: No it was the Judge Judge: :hides:

Q:

Godot: :makes Tigre shut up: Phoenix: T... Too cool... hahaha

Q:

Tigre: That lowlife ain't no lawyer! He just punches away at stupid details til he wins! i feel called out

okay so question: People hate 2-3 so much and one of the reasons  is Moe's testimony but there are SO MANY THINGS IN THIS 3RD GAME LIKE THAT

Q: not only that but this game is a lot more vague on "hey hey you were supposed to do this you are on the right track"

Q:

Godot: I hear it can be pretty hard to set up appointments when you're dead

BF: hahaha I think 3 tends to get forgiven most because the overall plot is VERY well constructed.  Also I think the alleged hate against 2 is overblown.  2-4 is such a beloved case after all

but you'll see what I mean about overall plot in a bit.

4 tries like HELL to do what 3 did, I think, but it gets tripped up a lot along the way.

(and yes 3 is hard. I'd say the only thing it does that's more forgiving that 2 is that IIRC, it doesn't penalize you for screwing up Magatama sessions.)

Last Friday at 11:31 PM

Q: ahhh alright. I'll be waiting for the 3 plot. Also it doesn't get mad at your for screwing up magatama sessions?? I have not noticed such a thing.Q: but he was there because 1 other people say he was and 2 why else would that guy tell him to go thereQ: problem with having so much evidence is that i can't remember what is what and what proves what or that it even existsQ: oh hey these matchesQ: HUH

wooo

wooo it worked

oh boy more things that are very close to swearing from him

Q: so many things wrong with this next testamony

WHICH ONE DOES THE GAME WANT ME TO DISPROVE

Q: heeeey it workedQ: I am winning :DQ: it's the tigre guy obviously >:( He impersinates a lot of people

phoenix hiding under his desk

Q: obviously it was that girl

internet not working dammit

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOBODY COULD PULL OFF A STUNT LIKE THAT THERE HAVE BEEN WEIRDER THINGS

:Shows paper badge: Judge: It is an insult to think anybody could be fooled by that well then maybe you should reevaluate your life choices

guuuuumshoooooeeeee

where are you man

YESSSS GUMSHOE IS BACK

THANK YOU DUDE I WAS WAITING

GUMSHOE YOU ARE GREAT NEVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU ARE VERY USEFUL AND WE ALL LOVE YOU

heeey maaaggggeeyyyyy can you cheer gumshoe up for me he's being sad

quonit-aceattorney

OH SO YOU KNOW HOW THE BOTTLE LOOKS DO YOU :)

WELL I WIN!

he yells

hahahahaha glowey mask thing hahahaha

oh fuck you stop throwing coffee at me

why do you hate me so much i am not a criminal

hey gumshoe i won!!!

maybe maggey can be happy now

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i feel neutrally tired about all of this. you know, i’m not angry or sad or stressed, i’m just kind of tired of this whole routine. it’s become glaringly obvious that this man is very very spoiled and ungrateful. 

yesterday was a fine day. he took me to the farm to get a pumpkin like i asked. he bought me food and was overall really nice and in a good mood - he was focused on pei and the things he would do or need for his trip. i felt comfortable and relaxed despite not even having weed and not having much sleep. 

this morning when we woke up, we had sex and i went about my morning - made a tea, had a smoke and he had a shower. he asked his mother for the survey plans for their cottage in pei so he knew what to prepare for when he wanted to build this garage (the whole 6 month master plan’s goal). she said she would have to look. this set off a chain reaction - he went to look for a crock pot the family owned but he had never used ad couldnt find it immediately, when his mother offered cookig advice he freaked out ad then when she asked him about a few set of chores he was supposed to do, he freaked out again.

at this point i had literally spoken no words from when we had sex. i was just passively floatig throughout the house, gathering my things just to be organized. i went to look at what he was actually making and he said something like “i’m going to drive you home after this i want to do my own thing and i dont want to be around you”. to be fair, he couldve said “people” - i’m ot entirely sure what i heard but it more likely sounded like you. i simply turned around, got my bag from downstairs, got my stuff from outside and walked home. i did not even reply or say goodbye - theres not even a point. like i would get either some argument about how he said he would drive me home or a grunt goodbye; both still equally rude replies. 

but i was kind of proud of how i reacted very immediately and without hesistation. i didt think like ~what would he want or ~whats appropriate to do. i just did what i wanted to do which was leave. it wasnt like oh i think id like to sped the day alone, do you wat a ride home - it was just ‘fuck off’ without being ‘fuck off’. and i don’t deserve that. 

on top of this, during sex he asked outright if anyone else has touched me. not like ~oh no one else ca touch you or ~would you let anyone touch you - just outright ‘have you let anyone’ and its not a light thing. its not joking. if i said yes it would hurt and we’d probably stop. but the parameters he stil puts forth is that he “cant” cheat. but what about me? and why am i used like this? i literally spoke _no words_. 

its very unhealthy. and i dont believe its about me. i’m glad ive come so far in personal relationships that i am able to seperate myself from them and not take things personally.and like i do feel “used” but its not like this is the absolute worst part of it. he said to me, “you havent been around long enough - this is what i do, im excited about something until im not and then i drop everything and go to the next thing” -- as if i havet been witnessing this the entire time weve been together. its all one exciting thing to the next and nothig is ever what its hoped to be. 

and hes very negative. which i guess is a bit ironic coming from me. but everything - everything sucks. and like to its greatest pit of whatever terrible thing it could have. you know - “king of the losers”. acknowledging that “i’m” okay but its really just being on top of a pile of shit. 

its just.. its getting too hard to remain optimistic about a future with him. whatever my life is doesnt affect him nearly as much as his does me. my whole life is built around being available to him and i was okay with this becuse it was like “investing” in a future i wanted to have. or i do want to have. i want a partner. some “family”. but i just dont feel optimistic like this is going to lead to idyllic happiness. not the way he sees it. and why should i spend my time following such a volatile perso who is unable to commit to anything. i guess it was easy to walk away because i thought like - what if i was across the country? what if i coulnt just walk away from this rude person and i was _stuck_? i dont want that and i guess if i dont want that, i dont want him. i’m just... too scared to live with him. like i want to live with him. i reall really do but everything in my being says omg no. no no no no. anyone i told that this was a thing would tell me absolutely do not move across the country with this person. its not like.. dont change. dont live somewhere else. its that this particular person is very ... not the right person to do this with. maybe i need to be a ifferent person too. maybe i need to be a very strong indpendent individual who works super hard and hustles lots of cash an then its all just fun and games and wooo life. but i cannot be dependent on this person. they are not dependable in any way shape or form. they are a fucking prayer. and in order for me to make such huge changes in life i would be very dependent on this person. especially right now. maybe in two years ill be a better version of me but the me right now would need a lot of hand holding an encouragement to make such drastic life changes and decisions. 

if it was plausible to just get a nice apartment in this city together - great. thank you. not even long term, lets just exist with each other before making giant life decisions. thats a marriage. with no commitment. i cant. i just cant. 

and you know - i’m very sympathetic. i know exactly what it feels like. to have no fucking clue what you want, where to go, what to do, who to be friends with, who to have a relationship with - i get it. i’m really confused too. and this is such a shitty time - i dont know if other times have been more shitty but this seems like a pretty shitty time after society going through so many wars in the past 100 years that have grown more powerful under the advancements and like we, collectively, are different people from 50 years ago so what was “right” and “good” 50 years ago is not relevant to today and we are floating without guidance. how do we survive now? weve evolved to a different mental state and we dont know how to nourish this. its like falling into great advancements with no mental capacity to understand their affect on the social psyche. 

theyre right.  the colective “they” - your parents have little to do with your chances. their social standing and coping amongst evolution to bring them to such standing has a lot more to do with your chances but if along the line you figure out your way of coping in evolution then you may rise above or find your own level of “happiness” which is mostly fulfilling basic personal needs. but when evolution continually transitions through different ways to fulfill these basic needs or possibly gives you even more ways to do this, it becomes more difficult to realize how you will find your way to cope in evolution. milennials are realy seen as weak and a joke; like re-branded hippies but focused on mental health and emotions, “refusing” employment to ‘feel better’ in life when there was a time when people just took any job because the only way to cope within that evolution was to exhance your service for money or boarding itself. thats not the case anymore. society evolved in such a way that this generation is capable of fulfilling may basic personal needs sometimes by just existing; perhaps their parents pay for food and shelter and provide them with clothing well into their “adult” years. many older generations started working to SURVIVE at 12 - 14 years old. our generation worked because “thats what you do” or to save up for an iphone. most of our grandparents worked to buy bottles of milk or to help the family or for their own vehicle but why save for one when your parents let you drive theirs anyways?

and again - it’s not the parents fault. it’s now easy in society for parents to do this. a large majority of parents, nd the majority leads the collective society. could my parents? no. but a lot of people around me did have parents that did this and my parents cared for me in other ways. society allowed them to breed children who would become introspective because they were no longer in such dire straits for survival. and older generations are upset about this - dont you know they had to want to die regularly to survive? why shouldt we? 

so as we gain this introspective into ourselves and “new” psychological ideas come up and vast people are “diagnosed”, it becomes harder to accept things which harm our psyche. so we get a big rise in racial inequality and gay rights and things which seem “liberal” but is simply termed this way because some people - maybe a large amount even, could not refuse employment and worked to survive even in this era. that was the generational hand down - exchange your service for money or starve. and theyre not “in the wrong”. other things affect how you build your coping tools - where you live, the climate of politics etc. maybe you realy just had to do that and there wasnt time to invest in this modern evolution of introspection. you dont have time to look within when youre starving on the outside. so this resentmet and bitterness builds between these two sides which may even exist in the same generation but neither of them is wrong. should one work to survive? probably. animals hunt most of their lives. we should probably work to survive. no one can just be handed food ad shelter forever unless you’re a very unique and special person in royalty. and 99.9% of us are not. but should we also kill our psyche? animals dont deal with smart phones and insurance rates and credit scores and bankruptcy. they just go out and take what they want and our society has evolved past this. so we cannot just assume you just work to survive when survival has been complicated. it takes a higher level of thinking which wemay not fully even comprehend at this stage in the evolution. 

i think psychology is very important because we dont understand why people are people. we dont know. we know why the sky is blue but we dont know why we are people. and not just psychology but science and the belief of how our being, our physical being on this planet came to be. we collectively have not agreed despite the very obvious misgivings of current theological theories. 

how or in what way should you survive on this planet? why are we required to exist as we are in this society upon birth. like all of these rules and obligations an responsibilities of being a “good human” are placed on you for the rest of your life and all you did was be born. all you want are basic needs fulfilled but you cant even do that until you acknowledge the land you were popped out on to does not belong to you so you abide by these rules now whether you want to or not. and thats just government and law but on this deeper spectrum its an obligation to be a ‘good child’ a ‘good citizen’ - pay your taxes, go to work, have children, buy a house; these are the quest objectives. but why? i think our generation is not the first to ask why but the first in a very long long time to ask why are we doing it this way. not so much why are we here. many of us have decided for ourselves. but why are we livingin society in this particular way and what can we do to survive in a society which is not designed to really benefit anyone. its not about that homeless man geting up and feeding himself, its about taking responsibility to feed that person. animals do a better job at this and we feel we’re in evolved thinking. 

society has become very convoluted and confused which has bred confusion in its most recent generation. ive lived a very unique life and yet feel the same way abou these things as my peers because the “temperature” of the environment is the same. its hot, we all know its hot an we’re trying to figure out ways to deal whether its running through a sprinkler, going to a public pool or looking ridiculous in a kiddie pool on your front lawn. it’s gross, it’s not a good time, no one wants to do anything and we’re not feeling it. and this evolution is like climate change. there is absolutely still people capable of coping under this stress, farmers still work, lumberjack still cut wood but theyre fucking miserable and they do it because theyre used to feeling like they want to die to survive. but its getting hotter and its getting harder and even though they feel it the only thing they know is to keep working until they cant anymore then die crippled and miserable. being popped out inexperienced and then thrown into a change which even the experienced are struggling with creates a lot of unrest. a lot of anxious and depressed people. 

what do we do? what should we do? you cant change society you can only follow the ebb and flow like flock of birds or schools of fish. this is how we cope as humans, to live as a society. and if society is in upheaval it directly affects the ability to easily obtain our basic needs. 

i used to feel envious of stupid people. like atleast they didnt ~know this shit. because this felt depressing. like being stupi would be easier and id be happier but those who choose to remain ignorant or passive hurt a lot and they struggle through some of the barest traps society has created durig this shitty time and now i feel sorry for them. spinning your wheels over and over, dragging yourself through the mud, throwing away money, living extravagantly and ignorantly but going absolutely no where. not going up, down, side ways - no where. i’m there too. i’m right there too on the train stopped at the station waiting to fucking go and we’re here nd we’re buying shit from the dining car and we’re chatting and excited but we’re not goig and we’re not really sure why and we’re all talking about why we’re not going but we’re still not going but hey atleast hey still got cookies. 

no one person is driving the train either. its like a group effort where everyone on the train has to believe youre moving forward for it to start but if one jack ass thinks youre not, then its a complete halt. 

life is hard but i dont think alot of people realize exactly how hard it is. im trying to learn to appreciate the little things. people with greater minds who had better understanding and less luxuries of the era coped with appreciating little things. taking bike rides in the fall in the nice downtown streets; it’s been a highlight of the season. painting in a studio this week; sure it was not glamorous or anything but i actively went out and created art with others. my room is neat and clean and organized. i did laundry with ease on my own time for free. 

i wasnt upset i “had to” walk home. i apreciated the fall weather & buzz of halloween approaching, time to think without screens of distraction, exersize and activity, the ability to buy cat food & cat litter. im not angry about it. i’m tired of being angry about a train im not really driving. if i can never truly conceptualize what i want because of society why keep trying. why cry over spilled milk.