#getting through when ive spent the last 14 years almost living on top of her as she was the old host.

[princessmyriad]

.

[edourado]

Together, ch iv

Here’s chapter four, because I need something light and fluffy, to help me stomach the world. I’m sad, I’m angry, sick to my stomach, I am legit losing faith in humanity, I burst out in tears at any given moment. And I don’t want to lose my mind, so here’s me coping. 

This is nothing, its a silly piece of fluffy fanfiction, but it’s for George Floyd, for Ahmaud Arbery, for João Pedro, a 14 year old black boy from Rio who was shot by police while playing inside his home, for every black individual who died because they were black, for their families, for the protesters. This is nothing, nothing, nothing, but it has a little of my heart in it, so it’s for them. 

I hope it makes you smile.

------- 

It wasn’t long until Frank got cabin fever. 

Staying inside all day was not at all like him. How long had he been spending most of his days outside, moving, doing something, or just looking at the people walking around the street?

To Karen’s amusement - and delight - he cleaned the entire apartment, top to bottom, and was even able to remove the touch stains on the light switches. He did something to the fridge, and by the time he was done, the shelves and the door were gleaming as if had just arrived from the store, brand new. 

But the apartment was not big enough to keep him entertained for long, so he started ordering things online to improve on little stuff, like the shelves she needed for her shoes, since she had needed to make room for his, or these fancy magnets to install on bottom of  the doors, so they would stop banging shut whenever it was a little windy. He spent a whole afternoon on the phone with David Lieberman, deciding on the best cameras to install around the place.

Reading only took him so far. He went through four books before he found it hard to keep still, and it was even worse with Netflix. 

Then, one day, the masks they bought from the neighbor from two floors down were ready, and she texted to let them know she had left them at their door. 

“I thought they’d be much worse”, Karen said, after they wired the neighbor the money and collected the neatly packed masks. “These are good, look!”

She put one on and they were, indeed, much better than they both had expected. Not fancy or in any way tech advanced, but a simple cloth mask that covered mouth and nose without leaving gaps. All of them black. 

“I think I’ll order more”, Karen mused, while Frank put one on. As far as masks go, this was not the worst he had ever worn, not by a long shot. 

That night, Frank lied awake in bed, his finger twitching, unable to sleep. They had cooked a big dinner together, looking for something to do to spend the time and use the things they had on the pantry, trying to avoid spoiling food. 

Karen had also stayed awake for longer than usual, but now she breathed slowly, sleeping by his side, and Frank had given up keeping his eyes closed, and now stared at the ceiling. 

After what seemed like forever, he looked at the window and noticed that the sky was starting to become a tad lighter. When he checked his phone, it told him it was 4:34 in the morning. With a glance at Karen, he got up, careful not to wake her. 

After silently dressing, Frank picked up his phone from the bedside table and carried his shoes to the living room, stopping to pick up one of the masks they had washed before starting on dinner. The radiator had dried them all completely, leaving them warm and crisp feeling. 

Closing the apartment door silently behind him, he locked it and then moved quickly down the stairs. 

He couldn’t take a proper breath in, with the mask covering his mouth and nose, but the fresh air that made it through his lungs when he inhaled deeply were enough to make him feel better already. Looking at the empty street before him, Frank set off for the first jog he had in years. 

Ever since he came back from his last tour, he favored other ways of exercising. Jogging was neither possible nor efficient after the whole mess, but it felt good, it felt natural, to run without hurry and from nobody, not chasing anybody. Run for the sake of running. 

He was on a break by the river, almost an hour later, when his phone pinged. 

“Ok”, said Karen’s text, in reply to the one he had sent her before he left the apartment, letting her know he was off for a run. “Have fun”, and then, almost as an afterthought, “Be careful. Don’t touch anything and don’t take off your mask.”

“Yes, ma’am”, he replied. 

Frank ran for a good while. Not counting the time, or the miles, or his heartbeat, he just ran, took breaks, walked and then ran some more, looking as the morning made the city brighter, noticing how strange it the streets looked, so empty, even this early. He ran and he wished he could take off his mask, but he didn’t, happy that at least he was able to breathe some fresh air and not see any walls around him, for a change. 

The sun was up when he turned to make his way back, at 7:15.

There was a bakery one corner away from home, and the smell of fresh bread lured him in. A man in uniform, a mask and gloves told him they just took a fresh batch out of the oven, and Frank bought a few, along with cheese and two cups of coffee (which they had at the apartment, but he figured these people were risking themselves to provide food for the neighborhood and try and keep their business alive, so what’s two cups of extra coffee?)

“Thank you so much for your support” said the guy, handing him the bag and the cup holder through a window. 

“Thank you”, Frank replied, happy for this little slice of normal. “You guys open tomorrow?” 

“From seven to seven.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Name’s Frank.”

“I’m Ray. See you, Frank. Have a good day.”

He walked the rest of the way, and had to balance his purchases in one hand while taking the key from his shoe, towing said shoes off and unlocking the door, walking in in his socks.”

“Frank?” Karen called from the bedroom.   

“I’m here” he called back, starting the new strange process of cleaning the things he brought home with him. 

After putting the warm bread on the designated bread basket and disposing of the paper bag, he transferred the cheese to a clean container and the coffee to the coffee pot, where Karen had not yet pushed the button to brew. 

After his shower, he walked to the bedroom, feeling much, much better than he felt before getting up this morning. 

Karen was still in bed, phone in hand, and smiled at him when he walked in. 

“Hi”, she greeted, and he walked to her. “Enjoy your run?”

“Hmm”, was his answer, lying down half on top of her, kissing her gently, closing his eyes when her hands caressed his hair. “I brought breakfast.”

“I can smell it”, she said, softly. “That show we wanted to watch is available on Netflix. Wanna eat on the couch and watch it with me?”

He made them egg sandwiches and brought it to the couch while she cued the new show on TV, and when he settled down to watch it, he didn’t feel restless or that itch that made him want to get up every five seconds. 

What a difference, a run made. 

.:.

He came back to the apartment on the fourth day with croissants and the usual coffee, sweating profusely, since he had not made any stops this time, nor did he walk, and the jog was just straight up sprinting.

“Kare?” he called from the kitchen.

“I’m here!” she called back, and he saw her hand waving at him through the window. She was in the fire escape. 

He had to deal with the sanitizing of the shopping and then a shower, so it was a few minutes before he walked to the living room window. 

Before he got to the ledge, she popped her head inside and smiled at him. 

“I got you something.”

When Frank ducked to climb out to the narrow fire escape, he saw what she had gotten: a hammock. 

Cream colored, she had tied it on the iron bars above head, it hung a good few inches above the floor. She had placed two throw pillows in it, plus a heavy blanket. 

“You’ve been feeling so cooped up, I thought this would maybe help a little.

Turning to her, Frank smiled and moved to kiss her. 

“You didn’t have to do that”, he said, a hand caressing her hair. 

“I wanted to. I’m only sorry it took so long to arrive, I ordered it almost a month ago.”

Frank looked at the hammock, swaying lightly in the wind, and thought that this small act, this simple purchase for his benefit made him a little more sure that she meant it, when she said she loved him. 

It was silly, he knew that, but there still was a little part of him that expected her to wake up one day and realize that all she thought she felt for him was nothing but the thrill of the danger, the forbidden, the very ill advised act of rebellion, or even misinterpreted feelings of concern and worry and gratitude.

The fact that she didn’t run away from him after they slept together for the first time, or asked him to stay after the second third fourth and so on, asked him to move in, gave him a key, made room for his things, made room for him, bought him a hammock. It all told him that yeah, she was serious about that love. 

“Maybe we can have breakfast here?” he suggested, and she beamed, nodding. 

“So you like it?”

“I do”, he said against her mouth. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Settle in, I’ll get the food.”

 They ate the croissants and drank the coffee while sharing the hammock, after adjusting the height a little bit. 

“This is so good”, she said around a mouthful of warm croissant, taking a sip of coffee, looking out at the street below them. 

Frank watched as the morning light caught in her hair, how it made her eyes shine just a tad bluer, accentuated the few freckles she had on her nose.

“Yeah, it is”, he agreed, squeezing her foot under the blanket, thankful that, if he had to be stuck inside, at least it was with her.  

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

part vii

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

Welcome back, friends! I know it’s been a long time since I updated, and I’m sorry for that - I just finished up my junior year of college, and combined with all of the protesting an unrest going on in the US (where I’m from) it’s been hard to write on schedule. On that note, I want to say that as a person and a writer I unequivocally stand with the Black Lives Matter movement and those protesting for an end to police brutality, the demilitarization and downsizing of the police, and equal rights for all - noting especially that these issues particularly affect LGBTQ+ people of color, particularly Black trans women. I am always striving to keep myself as educated and informed on how to be an antiracist, and encourage everyone to take a look at https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ for resources to educate yourself, donation links if you’re able, and petitions to sign. Breonna Taylor’s murderers still have not been arrested. I love writing, and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. Please reblog as always, and pop into my inbox and let me know what you think!

part vii

February 14

Dress like I’m going to a diner? Cass was more than a little confused as she pulled one leg through the pair of her good jeans (the ones without ripped knees, she wore them out with Mat and to less-important meetings and even to church once or twice when she was feeling particularly daring) as she slipped into her pea coat, toying with the button by her wrist as she opened the door to the crisp February air. It wasn’t snowing, but it was cold enough that her hands were still jammed firmly in her coat pockets. She could see her breath when she breathed out. Matt pulled up a few minutes, an apologetic look on his face as he slammed his hazards on and scrambled over the chair to push her door open. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Mat said breathlessly. “Parkway was backed up.”

Cass waved him off. “It’s not a big deal, just crank the heat up.”

“I know you said you didn’t want anything too fancy, so I hope you like it,” he added hesitantly, looking in between her and the road as he turned a corner. 

Cass squeezed his hand that was hovering just above the gear shift. “I’m sure I’ll love it, Mat.”

It really had been hard for Mat to figure out what to do for Valentine’s. He was leaving the next day for a weeklong road trip, but it was still, you know, Valentine’s, and he wanted so badly to get it right. So he tapped Jordan, called Tito, even somehow got ahold of her roommates to ask them what they thought she might be interested in. He wouldn’t admit it, but there also might have been a text or two back home to his sister for a second (third? fourth?) opinion. He wanted it to be perfect, but even more than that, he wanted it to be her. Dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant and a Tiffany’s necklace might be all well and good, but it didn’t really matter if the proverbial shoe didn’t fit. The handful of Valentine’s dates he’d gone on in the past had mostly been the standard roses-and-chocolates type, and while Cass did love chocolate, this evening meant so much more to him than any previous attempt. 

He didn’t want to do anything to mess it up, anything to jeopardize what was hands-down the most meaningful and serious relationship he’d ever been in. He’d dated girls for longer, sure, but there was something about what he had with Cass that made him feel like she had been in his life forever, like she was already a permanent fixture who made everything else make sense. They drove down the island of Manhattan, his thumb running back and forth over the palm of her hand until he pulled into a hotel parking lot. Cass looked at him quizzically. “Easiest place to park,” Mat said by way of an answer. 

He parked, opening Cass’s door and helping her out. “Where are you taking me?” Cass said with a small laugh, looking across the street at the dozens of couples taking an early dinner. 

Mat held up a finger. “It should be...right up here,” he said, double-checking his phone. “Ah-ha!”

A dusty green awning and flyer-covered window greeted the couple. It was a pizzeria, and it was perfect. It wasn’t just the fact that, like any sane person, Cass loved pizza, but the fact he knew what she wanted and prioritized that over any expectation or preconception about what the “right” way to celebrate was. And she could really go for a dollar slice. 

They squeezed into a two-top table in the corner. Cass hung her bag on the back of her chair, scooping back to go order at the counter. When it came to food, Mat was a simple man with simple tastes. He liked pepperoni. “I got us garlic knots because it’s Valentine’s day and I love you,” she said, setting down the trays, “and also because I’d willingly murder a man for garlic.”

Mat picked one up, biting in and nearly moaning. God, these are good. “Babe, you’re going to be a lawyer. You can’t just go around getting yourself arrested for murder. I don’t think your garlic defense would go over well with the judge.”

Cass shrugged. “I can get myself off.” Mat raised an eyebrow. “Ew!” She threw a packet of red pepper at Mat, promptly hitting him square in the chest. “Get your mind out of the gutter. There are children present.” To be fair, aside from them the restaurant was filled mostly with high school students, nervously holding hands and sipping each others’ Cokes while they tried desperately to make small talk. And to be fair, she could get herself off. 

“Are you finally going to tell me what we’re doing?” Cass asked, biting into the last bit of her crust. 

“In a minute,” Mat said, twisting around to rustle through the pocket of his leather jacket. He pulled out a small, flat square box, sliding it over the table to her. Cass traced the edges delicately with a finger. 

Mat smiled softly at her. “Open it.” 

Cass tapped the box against her palm until the bottom fell softly into her hand. Inside, nestled in a cloud of cotton, was a beautiful silver bar necklace. It was simple, elegant, not too flashy. But it was her, and it was hers. 

“I know you don’t like me spending money on you,” Mat shrugged, “but you deserve nice things. You deserve to be treated well.” He reached over the table to tuck a curl behind her ear. 

She picked it up, touching the chain, clasp, pendant. “Turn it over,” Mat said pointedly, with a smile on his face. Cass flipped it. There was an engraving on the back — well, two, really. 10-28-20. That one she knew. That one was their anniversary. WWRD. That one she didn’t know. Glancing back up towards Mat with a confused look on her face, she raised an eyebrow. “What would Ruth do,” Mat supplied. It took Cass a moment, and once she realized, she almost fell over, dissolving into peals of laughter. What would Ruth do? “I know I’m nothing but a filthy Canadian,” Mat started, “but I also know you love her and look up to her. You don’t just have a mug with someone’s face on it for no reason.” That was true. For Secret Santa last Christmas, Ryanne had 100% gotten Cass a mug with Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s face on it. And she 100% used it every day for her morning tea. 

“Plus, I read on Wikipedia that before she was a judge, she was a lawyer and did a lot for women’s rights and stuff. Which is really cool.” Cass nodded. That’s sweet, she thought, he actually did his homework. 

It was Cass’s turn to turn to Mat, leaning forward and cupping his cheek gently. He leaned into her touch. “It’s beautiful, Mat. I love it.”

“Let me put it on for you?” Mat asked. Cass nodded, he stood up and shuffled behind her, delicately grabbing the necklace and brushing her hair to one side. Cass shivered at the touch of his fingertips. After a few seconds, he managed to clasp it, leaning down and brushing a kiss on her shoulder before walking back to his side and grabbing his jacket. “You ready to take off?” His eyes flickered down towards his watch. It was nearing 7:30. “We’ve got to be somewhere by 8, but they said to get there early.”

“Who’s ‘they’?” Cass asked curiously.

Mat cracked a grin, sliding her hand into his as they walked out of the restaurant. “You’ll see.”

Two minutes of walking later and Cass was staring into the lights of Broadway. Even living only a few hours away, she had only been once before. The Lion King, in 5th grade. Her little sister Eliana was more of a theatre kid than Cass; field hockey and lacrosse kept her too busy in high school, any spare time she had between sports and work study was spent spending time with friends or reading old books. Eliana was four years younger than her, and when she got the lead in Heathers, Cass had never been happier to live only twenty minutes away from home. El killed it, she got to have a night at home, and was able to make pancakes with her mom in the morning. It was a win-win-win scenario. But Cass still loved musicals, listened to soundtracks while she studied, tried to make the drive once a year to Boston  — Eliana was at BU — to see a winter or spring show.

So when she was suddenly looking up at the ten-foot-tall poster for Waitress, her mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. “Do you like it?” Mat asked hesitantly. “We can find something else to do if you’re not into it, I know —”

Cass cut him off, squeezing his hand tightly and standing on her tippy toes to press a kiss to his jaw. “It’s amazing, Mat. I just didn’t know what to say. I still don’t, really. This is such an...unexpected gift. But I love it.” Mat relaxed. He genuinely was nervous about the choice; her roommates had told him that she liked the soundtrack and she had recommended that Sara Bareilles album to him way back in October, but he didn’t want to assume that meant she’d want to see it live. Mat was glad that he was wrong. 

Mat gently pulled the tickets out of his coat pocket, flashing them to the usher and handing Cass’s to her. “You ready for a show?”

---

“So, what did you think?” Cass asked as they walked out of the theater. 

“I liked it!” Mat said. And he really had liked it. Some of the music definitely confused him, and he didn’t understand how quick changes were physically possible, but it was good. “Earl’s a class-A dick, though. Jenna’s much better off without him.”

Cass nodded. “Correct.”

 March 4 (thurs)

 Cass glanced down at her watch, making sure it was a good time to call. It was just after 6 in New York, which would mean it was...5 in Winnipeg? Was that right? Mat probably hadn’t gotten to the arena yet, or if he did, it was more likely dinner than training or warmups. Clicking on his contact, it rang for less than ten seconds before Mat picked up. 

“Hey babe! You good?” It wasn't per se unusual for them to call each other — especially during road trips, they tried to talk or FaceTime every day — but it was usually Mat who called first, and usually just after games. So it was understandable that he was a little confused. 

Cass giggled. “I’m good, really good. Got some good news, just wanted to hear your voice.” 

“Awww,” Mat teased, “you loooove me.”

Cass didn’t really blush, but if she did, her cheeks would be scarlet. “Yes. I do. Shut up.”

Mat let out a laugh. “Just teasing you, babe. Good news, eh? What kind? Did you hear back from any of the places you applied yet?”

“No,” Cass huffed. “Not that.” She had sent out her résumé to somewhere around ten different firms and nonprofits, mostly in New York, but some as far south as D.C. and as far north as Boston. She had also sent in an application for a clerkship at the Supreme Court months back as some sort of pipe dream, but hadn’t heard anything back and had long since abandoned it as a lost cause. “I’ve done a few interviews, but nothing permanent. It’s still pretty early, though.” And that part was true  —  out of everyone in her circles back at school, there were maybe a handful who already had jobs lined up after graduation, most of them having evolved from summer associate positions they’d taken with some highbrow firm in Manhattan. Or D.C. One was even going to London to do something very intellectual-sounding with trade negotiations. 

“I know you’re probably a little nervous, and I totally get that. But don’t worry, Cass. You’re incredible and so smart and so qualified and someone’s going to see that, even if it takes a little longer than expected.” 

“Thanks,” Cass said, breathing out deeply and smiling softly. Mat was getting good at reading her, so good that he could tell when something was bothering her even without being face-to-face. And he gave damn fine pep talks. 

Mat cleared his throat. “So. Good news?”

Cass screwed up her face. “Good news. Right. I just got out of the office, and you know how I said I was almost done with my hours?” It had taken Cass longer than usual to finish her experiential requirement, since nearly all of her peers got it knocked out in a summer and she, obviously, was a little more busy when it actually came to term time. “Mhm,” Mat responded. “I just got done with the last of them today!”

Mat was confused. “So...your good news is that you’re finished? I thought you liked working with Chris?”

“Right, yeah, I do.” Cass tried to backtrack. I should have explained. “Chris told me I’m welcome to stay on, and I’m going to. I genuinely like what I’m doing. Since I’m not doing it for school anymore, he put in a request for a status change with HR, and it just got approved. So,” she paused for dramatic effect, “the good news is that now I’m getting PAID.” 

“Awesome!” Mat said. “You’re going to be the one making the big bucks now.”

“I’m making 16 dollars an hour. It’s barely above minimum wage, but it’s nice to finally get something back.” 

Ten minutes later, after they had hung up, Mat leaned back in his hotel bed. He really was proud of Cass, unbelievably so, but hadn’t yet admitted to himself just how nervous he was. Not about their relationship, really, but about where things were headed. He absolutely saw them together as a long-term thing and at least from what Cass made it seem like, so did she. But they hadn’t really spoken about where they saw this whole thing going, or what it would look like, or really anything beyond vaguely discussed plans for the summer after her graduation. The uncertainty wasn’t really concerning him. Mat’s new contract locked him in through 2026, so he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. And he wouldn’t want to, he loved hockey and loved New York and loved his team. 

Cass was a whole different story. She was probably the smartest person he’d ever met, and Mat knew that she could and would be able to go just about anywhere for a position. She didn’t have to stay in New York if she didn’t want to. And sure, New York was a pretty good place to be a lawyer — it didn’t take a genius to know that — but the worry kept popping up in the back of his mind that she’d get an incredible offer somewhere like California or Chicago or even somewhere international and would leave the city. Leave him. Mat would never dream of holding Cass back from her dreams. It would be a dick move and she’d worked way too hard to let everything go to waste. But the idea of doing something long distance, like true long distance, scared the shit out of him. It wasn’t just that he’d miss the sex or seeing her in the stands at games or early morning coffee dates, but Mat thrived on closeness, he thrived on intimacy of all kinds. It would terrify him to have to be away from someone who meant so much to him for so long. But this was Cass, his Cass, and if he’d go through it for anyone, it would be for her. 

I’m overthinking this, Mat thought, as he flipped his phone over and over in his hands. Don’t make up problems where there are none. 

 March 13 (sat)

Cass tapped her fingers nervously as she walked through the doors of the Islander’s practice rink. It was family skate, and Cass couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t quite belong. 

“There you are!” Mat said, his bag slung over one shoulder as he greeted her with a kiss. “You ready? I know Tito and Paige are already down there and they’re starting to get on the ice.”

“Yep!” Cass said brightly, forcing a smile and grabbing his hand a little too quickly. 

Mat raised one eyebrow. “Alright, what is it?”

Cass dropped the face. “It’s just...this seems different than all of the other things I’ve gone to. It’s not like when I’m in the box at games or we go out with the team or I hang out with the girls when you guys are on a road trip. It’s like,” she let out a huff, “this is small. This is close. This is meant for family, wives and kids, and I’m not...I’m not family. I’m your girlfriend, sure, but…” She trailed off. 

Mat squeezed her hand. “I plan on keeping you around for a long time, Cass. You’d better get used to it. And besides,” he said, looking at her softly, “wives have to start somewhere.”

Luckily, Cass didn’t have time to get too into her head, because she was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug from Paige. “I know we got coffee on Monday, but it’s been too long, Cass. I swear, you’re working too hard.”

Mat chimed in. “Tell me about it.” Cass swatted at him. “She’s been studying and editing and sending in her résumé to every office she can get her hands on.” He sat his chin on top of her head, arms crossing in front of her chest to hold her hands. 

“Alright, Mr. Clingy,” Cass giggled, twisting her head to look up at Mat. 

“But you looove your clingy boyfriend,” Mat whined, leaning down and softly kissing Cass. 

She scrunched her nose. “Regrettably so.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “You ready to go out on the ice?”

“Yeah.” Cass nodded, taking a pair of skates from the rack. By the time she had unlaced her boots and set them to the side, Mat had already tied his hockey skates, an extra pair he kept in his practice bag. 

“Let me,” Mat said, gently taking the skates and kneeling down in front of her. 

Cass rolled her eyes, but her cheeks heated all the same. “If you insist,” she said, holding her left leg out. 

“Okay, Cinderella,” Mat chuckled, holding her ankle for support as he wiggled her foot in, pulling the laces tight and tying them. “Double knots are more secure,” he said, blushing, as he finished the second skate. 

“You’re cute when you blush,” Cass said, pinching Mat’s cheeks, which only made him go more scarlet. 

He straightened out the knot, reaching out a hand so Cass could stand up. She steadied herself on the skates. “How much skating have you done?” Mat asked as he led her to the door. 

Cass shrugged. “A little? I went a few times as a kid and the girls and I go to Rockefeller Center around Christmas every year, but not a ton. Skating’s an expensive enough sport as it is, and my parents were already having to deal with coming up with the fees for Noah before he started working.”

Mat grimaced. “Yeah, I get that. I hate it, how cost prohibitive the sport is, and I try to help out back home when I can, but knowing that there’s so many kids who love the sport and could be so good,” he took a tense breath, “but aren’t able to because their families don’t have the means. It’s really shi—” He cut himself off, noticing his teammates’ children skating around. “It sucks.”

“It does.” Cass nodded. “But I know you have a good heart, and I know you’re helping where you can.” She gave a half-smile as they stepped onto the ice, her hand gripping his forearm as she tried to find her balance on the slick surface, which had been passed over by a zamboni right before the group’s arrival. “Wipe that smile off of your face,” she said, sticking her tongue out. 

“Yes ma’am,” Mat said with a grin, pulling her along. 

---

After an hour or so of skating, Cass had gotten the hang of it enough to where Mat was good to step off the ice for a few minutes and talk to some of the boys. “They have goldfish,” he had mentioned. “I think the snack table’s supposed to be for the kids, but I’m not above theft in situations like these.” So Cass skated around with Paige, Lauren, and some of the other WAGs, nearly all of whom were much, much better skaters than herself. 

“For someone who grew up on hockey, you’d think this would be way easier for me than it is,” Cass grumbled, tentatively pushing off from the sideboards. 

“You’ll get it eventually. I believe in you,” Paige said, poking her cheek. 

She grimaced. “Hopefully. I can see the Athletic’s morning headline now: ‘Cassidy Cabrera Shaw, Girlfriend of 2018 Calder Trophy Winner Mat Barzal, Falls on Face While Attempting to Skate.” 

“Sue them,” Paige suggested.

Cass laughed. “That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Wish I could.” She stuck her hands in her jacket pockets. “No grounds for defamation if it’s true.”

“Laws are dumb.” 

“They can be,” Cass admitted, looking over to the bleachers. “You want to go get drinks? I think I saw Whiteclaws in the adult’s cooler, and I know how you feel about those.”

Paige was already halfway across the rink. “Only if all the limes haven’t been taken!”

Cass shook her head, turning like Mat had taught her and skating over to the benches. Paige had gone over to sit with Anthony, a lime Whiteclaw successfully in her hand, and it took Cass no time to find Mat. He was sitting in the second row next to some of the other guys, and he was holding a baby. A very cute, very small baby. She gingerly made her way over to the group, catching Mat’s eye. He beamed at her as she took a seat next to him. 

“And who’s this little cutie?” She asked, smiling at him. 

“This is Milo,”  Mat said softly, turning him slightly so she could wave at him.

Cass absentmindedly remembered asking whose son it was — an offseason trade from Colorado, she vaguely recalled processing the contract at work — but she really couldn’t say which one. But she stroked Milo’s face with one finger, puffed out her cheeks at him, and suddenly he was in her arms and everything else fell away. She bounced him for a few minutes, easily falling back into her old routine — she was an older sister, after all — before handing him back to Mat, who was clearly having some separation anxiety. 

Lauren sat on the edge of the bench, gently touching Cass’ shoulder with Collins on her hip. “He looks really good like that, doesn’t he?” She asked. Cass’ cheeks burned. She didn’t know anyone had seen her looking over at Mat and Milo. “Yeah, he does,” she said, a soft smile crossing over her face.

 March 26 (fri)

 A steaming cup of tea in her hands, Cass threw her head back against the couch, knocking her reading glasses askew. She straightened them with a huff. There were two days until the deadline for the law review, and she still had two articles to get through for last-minute edits and spelling checks. It was just past 11, which normally wouldn’t have been all that late for her, but she had been staring at her computer for hours and it was beginning to take a toll. She had been at the library until 8 or so, making more than one trip to the coffee cart in the lobby before she realized that she wasn’t going to get anywhere sequestered away in a cubicle on the fourth floor. The Islanders were playing that night, so Cass shot Mat a text that she was headed over, packed up her bags, and headed over. 

He had just given her a key the week prior, and it was her first time using it. Even though he constantly told her she was welcome to go over, whether he was there or not, she had more than her fair share of nerves as she jingled her keychain, thumbing over her apartment key and mail key and car key and key to the house back in Connecticut before she opened the door. She set the kettle to boil and grabbed the little-used box of English Breakfast from the cabinet before crashing on the couch, where she had been pretty much ever since, save for a bathroom break after a thrilling review of a paper on recent intellectual property rulings of the 2nd Circuit Court. 

The doorknob turned and Mat walked in, shower-damp hair, still clad in his gameday suit with his duffel slung over his left shoulder. “Hey, babe,” he said, dropping the bag and walking over to the couch to plant a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “Still at it?”

She nodded ruefully, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah. I ordered takeout earlier in case you’re hungry, there’s an extra gyro in the kitchen,” she pointed to a bag on the counter, “and they threw in free baklava if you’re still hungry.”

His eyebrows perked. “Baklava?” Cass had discovered early on in their relationship that hidden beneath his curated meal plans from the team nutritionist and smoothie kits was a surprisingly committed sweet tooth. She was a stress-baker, and Mat had been more than willing over the past few months to serve as her taste tester for cookies, pies, and anything in between. 

Cass giggled. “Yeah. Better get it before I steal the last piece, though.” 

Mat returned later with the pastry on a napkin, shrugging off his suit jacket and collapsing onto the cushion beside her. “Anything else interesting happen today?”

Cass shrugged her shoulders. “I had yoga in the morning like usual, which was fun. I tried a hot yoga class today, though, and you would not believe how much I sweat. It hurt my soul.”

“No pain no gain, baby,” Mat chimed in. Cass rolled her eyes at him. 

“But then I had law review and my Entertainment Law seminar before I headed over to the office. Pretty normal, they had me looking over some leasing agreements for the next season. Called my grandma, she’s shipping my serape stole over next week and needed my address,” Cass added.

“Serape stole?”

Cass adjusted her position on the couch so she was facing Mat. “It’s a Mexican thing. You know how graduation gowns usually have stoles for the school or whatever?” Mat nodded. “It’s pretty common to have cultural ones too, Black students will often wear what’s called a kente cloth stole and Mexican and some other Latinx students have serape stoles. Give me a sec,” she said, grabbing her phone and scrolling through her photos. “Here’s a graduation photo of me and the girls from UConn, Ryanne’s in her kente stole and I have mine.”

Mat looked bewildered. “Why are you wearing so many of them?”

Cass laughed, realizing which photo she pulled up. “Okay, fair enough. So there’s the normal school one on the bottom, then I had one for the honors program, then on top of that is the one from my sorority, then on top of that is the serape. Most of the other photos it’s just one or two, like in the ones when I’m with the sorority or the Mexican Student Association or whoever. We thought it would be fun to take one where we’re just drowning in stoles and leis. Made us feel fancy.”

“You do look very fancy,” Mat said, leaning his head on her shoulder. “You also look very tired, Cass. You need to go to sleep.”

Cass scrunched up her nose. “I’ve only got the two papers left to look over, and I’d really like to get them done before I head back. Get them all knocked out, y’know?”

“Stay here,” Mat said easily, as if it wasn’t even a question. “Stay here, you can finish reviewing them in the morning. Plus, I’d feel a lot better if you weren’t taking the subway alone at half past 11.”

Cass sighed. He had a point. “Fine,” she said slowly, “but you have to promise to wake me up if I don’t get out of bed by 8. Okay?”

Mat gently took her laptop, setting it on the coffee table. “Okay. Now go take a shower and hop into bed, pretty girl. You’ve had a long day.”

“Thanks,” Cass said, smiling gratefully and padding down the hall to the bathroom. Shedding her clothes, Cass stepped into the shower, expecting to use Mat’s Old Spice shampoo — which, to be fair, didn’t smell half bad — when a white floral bottle caught her eye. She had mentioned offhand once that she was picking up a new bottle of shampoo, and Mat must have been listening more than she gave him credit for. Because, without asking, he had gotten one too.

[rawmeanderson]

bring you back to me ― part iv

ft. jeff skinner plot: when your high school sweetheart gets traded to the same city where you now live and work, your best friend just can’t mind her own business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ warnings. swearing, drinking, a lil bit of steam~  word count: 6.7k notes at the end!!!

You weren’t sure that time had ever passed so slowly as it did as you waited for Sunday.

Friday night after Jeff left your place, you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as you replayed the kiss over and over in your head. The longer you thought about it, the harder it was to fall asleep. Jeff was so much more confident now, the difference was obvious, and that made it even harder to get him off your mind.

To say you fantasized about him that night would be putting it lightly. You hated that just kissing him for that far too short moment seemed to completely ignite your libido, leaving your mind absolutely stuck on his mouth.

Saturday dragged on and on, and you were restless as you forced yourself to run some errands, to clean up a bit around the house. Jeff texted you here and there between practice and spending some time at the gym, and you toyed with the idea of inviting him over. You’d always considered yourself to be independent, and you liked your alone time, but now, all you wanted was for Jeff to be there with you.

Lydia showed up unannounced with pizza and wine sometime in the evening, which turned into the two of you watching Great British Bake Off and bitching about work. It was a nice distraction after having spent most of the day in your own head, and to your surprise, she didn’t bring up Jeff but you were willing to bet that she desperately wanted to. You felt rather sly, Snapping and texting back and forth with Jeff while you and Lydia relaxed, like it was your own little secret.

Lydia stayed late, until you were both practically dozing off on the couch, before heading home, and when she asked what you were doing the next day, that’s why you let it slip that you were seeing Jeff again. She was impressed that you’d kept it quiet, and offered a wink on her way out the door that of course had you rolling your eyes.

With the house to yourself again, you took the wine glasses to the sink and left the empty pizza box on the counter to take out to the trash later. You’re feeling drowsy, but you force yourself to wash your face and throw a load of towels in the wash before getting changed for bed. Your phone buzzes on the end table as you’re tugging on a pair of sweats, and when you reach for it, a grin slides onto your face after seeing that the message is from Jeff.

You climb into bed as you read his message, pulling your blankets over your lap. He’s asking if he can call you, and without bothering to reply, you instead lift the phone to your ear to call him. As it rings, you chew on your bottom lip, feeling slightly nervous for some reason. Jeff answers quickly though, and your heart leaps the second you hear his voice.

“Hey, I’m glad you were still up,” he says, sounding rather tired. You wonder if he’s in bed like you are, and part of you wishes the two of you were on FaceTime so you could see him smile.

“Yeah, Lydia took off about ten minutes ago, so I’m just now climbing into bed,” you tell him, your free hand coming up to push your hair out of your face. You settle into bed a little more, sinking back against the pillows.

“I’ve been watching TV in bed for the last hour, it’s been pretty nice,” Jeff says, letting out a quiet breath of laughter. “A couple of the guys tried to talk me into going out tonight, but I really just wanted a lazy Saturday night.” His words get a laugh out of you this time as well, and it’s honestly just so nice to hear his voice, especially with how soft and warm it was right now.

“I think Lydia and I managed to watch almost half a season of Bake Off tonight, and I don’t know why I let myself binge that show. Every time, without fail, it just makes me want to bake like crazy, even though I’m not really that good at baking.” You feel like you’re rambling a bit by then, but it makes Jeff laugh.

“I remember when we tried to make a cake for your parents’ anniversary the one year and it somehow was hard as a rock,” he teases, laughing after he’s finished speaking. You scoff before laughing along with him, shaking your head at the memory.

“Hey, I still maintain that that was Logan’s fault somehow,” you say, still trying to defend yourself all these years later. Your cheek are flushed, and really, you’re just so happy to be talking to him, even when it’s just this playful banter. “Besides, even if I did manage to fuck up the cake that badly, I’m sure I’m a lot better at baking now than I was at 14.”

“I dunno if I believe you, honestly,” he says, obviously just trying to bug you by then. You hate that it’s working, and you can imagine that he’s grinning, quite pleased with himself. It doesn’t take long before you’re scoffing again, quickly changing the subject.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to call you, or did you just want to drive me insane all night?” you ask, trying your best to sound irritated but it doesn’t quite work.

“Believe it or not, there was a reason,” he says, and you can practically hear his grin through the phone. “I, uh, figured we might want to iron out some plans for tomorrow.” There’s a sudden nervousness to his voice then, and it bleeds right into you, making your cheeks burn in the dark.

“Oh...yeah,” you pause to exhale a laugh. “That’s a good idea, actually.” He laughs with you then, and he clears his throat before speaking.

“So, I’ve kind of got something planned, but I wanted to run it by you first, to make sure it wasn’t...too much or anything,” he explains, that nervousness settling into the tone of his voice again. “There’s this Italian place that a couple of my teammates are obsessed with, and it’s pretty fancy, like I don’t think I can even pronounce the name of the place, and I―”

“Jeff, please don’t feel like we have to do anything over the top,” you interrupt quickly, biting your lip afterwards. You sink down into the mattress more, shifting between the sheets in an effort to get comfortable.

“I know that, but after all of those cheap dates I took you on in high school, I feel like I’ve got to step up my game now,” Jeff tells you, and immediately, both of you are laughing before he continues on a moment later. “I’ve got a couple good back up ideas too.”

“No, no, I’m totally on board with the fancy Italian place, trust me,” you assure him, still grinning widely to yourself.

He exhales then, sounding rather relieved, and you laugh again. “Okay, good,” he says, and you can all but hear him relax. It still amazes you that it’s so easy for him to make you feel like a nervous, lovesick teenager all over again and it’s becoming more obvious at least that you have the same effect on him as well. “Do we wanna do dinner at 6 then?”

“Uh, yeah, that works for me,” you tell him, voice rather soft then as you feel excitement bubble in your stomach now that plans are set in stone for tomorrow. You’re quite for a moment as you chew on your bottom lip. “Any chance I’ll be able to talk you into hanging around at my place for a while after dinner?”

“You’ll just have to say please,” he teases, making you roll your eyes, because of course he won’t just make things easy on you.

“Oh, well, we’ll see if I’m up for that tomorrow then,” you respond, trying to sound as noncommittal as possible, even shrugging to yourself for dramatic effect. Jeff thinks it’s funny at least, and he laughs softly. You can damn near imagine him smiling at you, and just that thought has you exhaling a quiet sigh.

“What are you thinking?” he asks a moment later, and there’s a gentleness to his voice that makes you want to curl up into him and never move.

“Nothing really, just that I’m excited to see you tomorrow,” you tell him, picking a piece of fuzz off your shirt idly as you try not to think about how warm his hands had been when they were resting on your waist last night.

He’s quiet for a moment, almost to the point that you feel antsy. “I’m excited too, trust me. I’m glad we’ll finally just get to spend a good chunk of time together all at once,” he says, and by that point, you’re smiling so hard that your face hurts.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” you respond, trying to ignore the warmth that’s settling through your body in response to his words.

The two of you end up talking a while longer until you can’t stop yawning, and one of the last things Jeff says is that he can’t wait to see you the next day. You doze off easily, thinking about him and how eager you are to have him to yourself for several hours.

By early Sunday afternoon, you’re kicking yourself for thinking Saturday had passed slowly, because today, waiting for six o’clock to arrive it actually felt like time was moving backwards. Jeff seemed just as impatient, really, and the two of you spent most of the day texting, stemming from the good morning text you woke up to. Lydia texted you a few times as well, mostly just to bother you about the date. Now that she knew about it, she had no problem being nosy it seemed.

Jeff showed up a little earlier than you’d anticipated, and because you’d been in the bathroom trying to make your hair look decent, you’d missed his text that he was heading your way. As soon as you heard the knock on the door, you were cursing under your breath as you try to get your earrings in, padding barefoot down the hall to let him in.

“You’re super early,” you say as you swing open the door, and it’s a good thing you started speaking when you did because seeing him standing there in a suit makes your mind go blank.

You’d seen him in suits after the games you’d been to, but now? Damn, he looked good. He’d gone without a tie, and his shirt wasn’t buttoned all the way up. Just as you realize that you’re practically staring at him, you notice that his eyes are on you just as much as yours had been on him.

“You….look incredible, wow,” he murmurs eventually, eyes lifting to your face as he flashes you a grin. You feel your cheeks heat up as you grin, stepping to the side to let him step into the foyer. His eyes are still on you, taking you in, and you try to ignore the heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“I’ve only got one earring in,” you respond with a quick laugh, trying to sound modest as you remember that the other is still in your hand. At least putting the other earring in gave you a short distraction from how good he looked. You’re dressed at least, which is better than nothing. After worrying about what to wear to such a fancy place, you opted for the classic little black dress, deciding that simple was the way to go.

“Well, I trust me, I wasn’t looking at your ears,” Jeff says, clearing his throat a second later and stuffing his hands in his pockets like he’s worried what he’d said came off weird. The words make you snort though and you grin, your hands smoothing down the front of your dress as you look at him. You meet eyes and you’re both quiet for a beat, both of you grinning at each other like you don’t know what to do next.

“I, uh..I should put some shoes on, uh, then I’ll be ready to go,” you tell him, stumbling over your words a bit. He nods, biting his lip and you see his eyes drag over your frame again. You’re about to turn away from him, to run back to your room where your heels were waiting, but instead, you step toward him.

He must be having the same thoughts as you then, because as soon as you’re close enough, his arm is settling around your waist to pull you even closer. “I missed you,” he tells you, the words half whispered as you look up at him with a grin.

“I missed you too,” you reply, loving the smile that spreads across his face in response to your words. The dimple is driving you extra crazy today for some reason, and you tilt your head up enough to kiss his cheek softly.

You’re about to pull away when he says your name quietly and you look at him through your eyelashes. His hand comes up to cup your face, and his eyes move over your features slowly, leaving you feeling a bit impatient. Just when you’re about to say something, he kisses you, soft and almost lazy as the two of you stand there in your foyer.

You raise an arm to settle it around his neck in an effort to keep him close, your other hand resting against his chest as you lean into him. He’s warm, and you can smell his cologne, and you’re already feeling so weak for him that you’re not sure you’ll be able to handle looking at him in that suit all night. Despite the burning need in your stomach, you manage to keep the kiss slow and easy, and you force yourself to pull back after sliding your tongue along his bottom lip.

“I should go put some shoes on,” you repeat with a breathless giggle as you try to pull back. His arms still tight around your waist though, and he’s grinning, cheeks flushed, as he keeps you held in place close to him.

“Yeah, you should,” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your mouth. It’s short, but firm enough to have you practically melting against him, and just as quickly as he’s pulled your body to his, he’s letting you go. “Otherwise, we’re gonna end up missing our reservation.” He’s grinning at you then, biting his bottom lip, and there’s a mischievous look in his eye that leaves you feeling weak in the knees.

You use the time it takes to grab your shoes from your room to try and slow your heart rate, hoping that somehow you can forget about just how sexually frustrated you are and get through dinner without wanting to tear that suit off of him. With your shoes on, you leave your room a moment later, and find Jeff looking around your living room, particularly interested in the photos on your bookshelf.

“Glad to know the NHL hasn’t snapped you out of your nosiness,” you tease, and he jumps like he hadn’t heard you coming. A flush colors his cheeks quickly as he turns to face you, and a smile slides onto his face.

“I’m in this picture!” he says, pointing to one and sounding rather happy about it. Realization washes over you, and you feel a little guilty that you’d forgotten he was in one of the photos you’d had framed and on display in every place you’ve lived since college.

“Honestly, I forgot you were in that one,” you admit, smiling nonetheless as you shift your weight from one foot to another.

“I see how it is,” he murmurs, shooting you a skeptical look that makes you roll your eyes with a laugh. He’s grinning again a second later, his attention leaving the photo frames to move toward you again. “You ready now?” His eyebrows raise as he speaks and you practically beam at him, nodding. “Good.”

For the majority of the ride to the restaurant, Jeff held your hand, and it was impossible not to think back to the days of quick ice cream dates between school and practices. It felt good to have time though, to know you got to be with him for more than an hour or two. You talked a bit, mostly just small talk, but you both just seem happy to be in the same space together.

The restaurant far exceeded your expectations of just how fancy it would be. Jeff was certainly enjoying it though, having the opportunity to treat you to something so nice. He ordered a bottle of wine for the table, and as soon as the waiter walked away, Jeff looked at you with a bit of a grimace.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I butchered the name of that wine,” he says, shifting in his seat with a wide grin, simply shrugging it off. His words make you laugh, and glancing around, you feel far underdressed and out of place, but being there with him is worth it.

The two of you blow through a few pieces of small talk, sipping at wine and enjoying the fact that you were together. Of course, the food was incredible, and when there was a slight lull in conversation as you were finishing up, you sat up in your seat a little more.

“Wanna know a little bit of a secret?” you ask, biting your lip as you lean forward slightly. You know it’s terrible manners, but you rest your elbows on edge of the table as you look at him.

“Always,” he says, looking intrigued as he reaches for his wine glass. He takes a sip, then mirrors your actions, leaning forward so his elbows are on the table as well.

It’s impossible to stop yourself from grinning widely at him then, and you can only imagine how odd the two of you must look to the other diners. Clearing your throat, you feel your cheeks flush slightly, but you hold his gaze.

“So, you remember that first game Lydia took me to, and I said it was a last minute thing?” you start, clearing your throat as you pause.

“Yeah, I think I might, why?” he responds, and the snarky grin on his face makes you nudge him under the table with your foot teasingly as you roll your eyes. His grin only widens in response to the contact, and he responds by nudging your foot right back.

“It’s not really much of a secret, I guess, but Lydia knew about our history before you even came to Buffalo. I mean, she texted me in the middle of a meeting when you got traded for christ's sake,” you say, laughing rather nervously as you shake your head. “She bugged the hell out of me about trying to reach out to you, but I dunno, I guess I was just scared, so she took matters into her own hands. The day of that game though, she talked me into going to eat downtown, but then sprung it on me that we were actually going to the game.” You pause again, taking a deep breath. “Long story short, I guess, the devil works hard, but Lydia works harder.” Jeff is grinning then as you laugh with a shrug, leaning back in your seat now that you’ve finished speaking.

“Well,” he starts, letting out a deep sigh as he watches you. “Guess I should probably clue you in on my own secret then, since we’re on the topic.” He pauses, pushing a hand through his hair and you look at him expectantly, eyebrow raised in curiosity. “I, uh..I knew that you lived in Buffalo. That was the first thing my mom told me when I said I got traded, that you lived here.” He was blushing like mad, just like you surely had been when you were talking about Lydia’s meddling. You’re about to jump in to ask questions about what he’d just said, but instead he continues on. “Every time I was out, I felt like I was looking for you, hoping we’d bump into each other somehow, but I guess now I owe Lydia a massive favor or dinner or something for making my life a lot easier.”

His words make you snort softly, and you shake your head. “She made both of our lives easier, honestly, but if we ever tell her that, she’ll never let us forget it,” you tell him, grinning as you bring a hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear. Jeff laughs as he reaches for his wine glass, and you can see a soft flush coloring his cheeks.

“My lips are sealed then,” he says, nodding as he nudges your foot under the table again lightly.

When dinner is over a while later, Jeff’s arm settles around your shoulders at the valet booth as you wait for his car to be brought up. You lean into his side easily, enjoying the warmth of his body and the smell of his cologne as he kisses your temple before letting his nose nudge at your hair lightly. When you have to pull away a moment later, you glance up at him and lean back into him enough to press a short kiss to his mouth.

On the road a few minutes later, Jeff glances at you before reaching for your hand. “Does the offer still stand to hang out at your place for a while?” he asks, brushing his thumb over your knuckles lightly as you lace your fingers with his.

You turn your attention to him, raising your eyebrows slightly. “What, you’re not gonna make me say please?” you tease with a wide grin, squeezing his hand.

“Nah,” he says, looking at you again as he comes to a stop at a red light. There’s an almost shy smile on his face, and he shrugs a second later to make you exhale a breath of laughter.

“Don’t worry, the offer still stands,” you tell him, feeling giddiness creeping into you then as Jeff nods.

“I was never gonna make you say please, y’know,” he tells you, his eyes moving back to the road when the light turns green.

“I know,” you respond, enjoying the fact that he’s still grinning even as he’s watching the road.

The last few minutes of the drive are quiet, and you’re impressed to see that he remembered the better route back to your place. He doesn’t let go of your hand until he’s pulling into your driveway and reaching to turn off the car. Turning toward you, his shy smile is back and you’re pressing your lips together as you unfasten your seatbelt.

“C’mon, let’s go,” you tell him, reaching for the door handle. He nods eagerly, clearing his throat as he steps out of the car. You’re expecting him to approach you, but instead he opens the back door to grab a bag from the floor.

He catches the rather surprised look on your face and shrugs with a rather self-conscious smile. “What, did you expect me to lounge around in a suit all night?” he asks, reaching for you hand once he’s close enough.

You exhale a soft laugh, shrugging back at him then. “I dunno, I really didn’t really think about it, I guess,” you respond, giggling as you tug him toward the front porch. You’re fishing for your keys then, letting go of his hand once you’re close enough to unlock the door. As you fit the key into the lock, your hands are shaking from the feeling of having Jeff’s eyes on you, and you let out a soft breath of relief when you get the door open.

Jeff closes the door behind him once he’s followed you in, and he slips past you as you nudge your heels off easily. They certainly weren’t the most comfortable shoes, and you were glad to be out of them now. When you turn to Jeff, he’s still watching you, looking like he’s waiting for instructions on what to do next.

“I, uh..I’m gonna go get changed in my room. There’s a bathroom off the kitchen if you didn’t want to just disrobe in the living room,” you tease, taking a step toward him as you grin. He smiles back at you, nodding as he motions for you to come closer to him. It’s impossible to say no to that smile, so you step toward him, which only makes his smile widen.

“Hi,” he says, slipping his arm around your waist as he pulls you into him.

“Hi,” you repeat back, biting your lip in an effort to hide the eager groan that slid onto your face so easily as you looked at him. His hand is resting flat in the small of your back, and you’re suddenly feeling very aware of everything that’s happening as your heart races in your chest.

When his other hand comes up to cup your jaw, holding your face gently, your eyes drift closed as you relax into his touch. Everything’s still and quiet for a brief moment, then he’s kissing you, so soft and gentle that it makes your knees shake. Your hand comes up to grip the material of his suit jacket, half to pull him closer and half in fear that your knees would give out if you didn’t have something to hold onto.

It would be so easy to just give into the desperation that’s vibrating through every inch of you, but instead, you pull back before the kiss gets any firmer. Instinctively, you lick your lips nervously, and when you meet Jeff’s eye, there’s a darkness there that makes your core start to ache. Letting out a soft breath of laughter, just trying to break the sexual tension, you look away from him as you feel your cheeks burn.

“I’m really dying to get out of this push up bra,” you say, just blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. You need to put some distance between the two of you, otherwise you’re going to end up giving in to just how badly you need him.

Jeff blinks at you before cracking a grin, and he nods before untangling himself from you easily, motioning for you to take the lead out of the foyer with a laugh. You point him in the direction of the bathroom, then move as quickly as you can to your own room.

More than anything, you wish you had the time to take a cold shower before joining him in the living room, but you don’t. Instead, you take a few deep breaths after closing the door behind you, trying to at least bring your heart rate down. Eventually, you change out of your dress and that awful bra, tugging on a bralette, along with a pair of leggings and long sleeved shirt from college.

Tugging at the hems of your sleeves nervously, you return to the living room where you find Jeff stretched out on your sofa, clearly making himself at home. The remote is in his hand and from the looks of it, he’s trying to figure out how to turn the TV on. He’s in a Sabres shirt and grey sweatpants, of course, as if you weren’t already having trouble keeping his dick off your mind.

“You look cozy,” you say, grinning as you sit down in the opposite corner of the couch, already curling your feet under you. You’re trying to put as much space between the two of you as possible right now, and from the way he looks at you, you’re sure that he’s onto you.

“Yeah, it feels nice to be out of the suit, that’s for sure,” he says, grinning at you as he looks up from the remote. “And I bet you’re happy to be out of that push up bra.” His tone changes a bit and it gets a laugh out of you as you nod.

“Trust me, I am,” you tell him, hand coming up to push your hair out of your face as you pull a blanket into your lap. “You wanna keep trying to figure out how to work the remote, or do you want me to take over?” Your words come with a soft laugh as you grin at him widely, only to be greeted with an exaggerated eye roll out of him. He tosses you the remote a second later with a sigh of defeat and it’s taking everything you have not to laugh at him teasingly.

Silence settles over the two of you for a short moment as you turn on the TV and open Netflix, your eyes stuck on the TV before you glance at him. You find that he’s looking at you already, and you feel your cheeks heat up as you clear your throat. You’re about to open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.

“Why are you all the way over there?” he asks, sounding like he’s doing his best not to sound too needy.

“I dunno,” you respond with a quick laugh, pushing your hair out of your eyes again nervously as you force yourself to stare at the TV. “Just trying to behave, I guess.” Your own honesty surprises you and you let out a quiet snort of laughter that he echos a moment later.

“Come over here,” he murmurs, already sitting up slightly as he reaches to tug at your hand. It’s impossible not to give into him, and you both shift easily. He stretches out along the length of the couch and pulls you into his lap easily so you’re leaning into his chest.

It’s a lot closer than you’d anticipated, and you can smell his cologne and feel the warmth of his muscular frame through his clothes. You look up at him and he’s all grins as his arm settles around your waist comfortably. Your cheeks are flushed, you can feel it, and it takes a moment before you relax into him easily.

“That’s better,” he says softly, bringing a hand up to run over your hair before rubbing your back gently. Snuggling into him is so easy, and you can’t help but press your face into his chest for a moment and just nuzzle there.

“What do you want to watch?” you ask a moment later as your head rests against his chest, just wanting to have something else to focus on as you search for the remote again. He makes a sound of indifference and you scoff quietly, grinning to yourself as you scroll through the recently added movies idly.

From the way you’re laying, you can hear his heart beating in his chest, and you can feel the way his muscles move as he continues to rub a hand over your back idly. Eventually, he gives some input on what to watch, and after you press play, you lean to put the remote on the coffee table for safe keeping. When you move back to him, there’s some distance between your bodies as you lean over him, and he’s looking up at you as his hand slides over your waist easily.

You’re both silent for a moment, just looking at each other from this new angle, and before you can stop yourself, your eyes drop to his mouth. He mirrors your action, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth before he’s leaning up enough to kiss you. It’s slow at first, and given the fact that you’re still hovering over him, it’s nice to still feel in control.

His hand settles in the small of your back again, this time holding the fabric of your shirt lightly in an effort to keep you close. The kiss is easy, light, but when he sighs quietly against your mouth, you let your body rest into his a bit more. You’re taking your time, knowing that you’ve got all the time in the world right now. Everything still feels so new, like you’re getting used to each other again despite the fact that you’d grown up together.

You’re starting to get stuck in your head about everything, you can feel it, but your mind goes blank when Jeff’s tongue drags along your bottom lip. The motion somehow takes you by surprise, and you groan into his mouth as his free hand comes up to hold rest on your jaw like he’s worried you’re going to pull away. Tired of holding back, you shift so you’re straddling him and he moves along with you, hands immediately gripping your hips.

The kiss deepens and his tongue slips into your mouth, making your clit throb between your thighs. You’re suddenly very aware of just how wet you were already, and it’s a struggle to keep yourself from rocking down against him. When your body tenses with the effort of staying still, his hand on your jaw moves to thread his fingers through your hair as he pushes it back out of your face.

He breathes your name, making you shiver, and a second later, he’s pulling back to look at you. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are searching your face as you blink down at him.

“What is it?” you ask softly, licking your lips quickly.

“Nothin’, just wanted to look at you, I guess” he murmurs, a slow grin sliding onto his face as you roll your eyes at him.

Immediately, you’re leaning into him again, kissing him hard enough that he groans into your mouth. His fingers tighten in your hair, his nails just barely grazing over your scalp, and the hand in the small of your back moves higher, rubbing over the fabric of your shirt easily. Just when you feel like you can’t breathe, Jeff pulls away to kiss along your jaw, his breath hot against your skin as he moves down your neck.

You’re panting by then, biting your bottom lip as he sucks at your pulse point. Whimpering his name, your hand slides into his curls, and you give into your desperation for friction, your hips grinding down into his. The sound that leaves him does nothing to help the soothe the throbbing between your thighs, and you’re already turning your head to seal your mouth over his again.

Somehow, this kiss is even more heated, and both of Jeff’s hands move to your hips. He squeezes you there, letting his fingers just barely slip under the hem of your shirt as he pulls your hips down to meet his again. It’s your turn to whine, realizing then that his cock is half hard, and when he bites at on your bottom lip, you grind down against him again eagerly.

Jeff exhales a curse against your mouth, hands still tight on your hips, but this time, he’s pushing you back slightly. “Fuck, we need to stop,” he murmurs as he pulls back, chuckling a second later. You nod in response, grinning as you feel your cheeks flush. The face that his mouth is a little swollen is quite distracting, and you’re having trouble tearing your eyes away from his lips.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” you respond, despite leaning to press another soft kiss to his mouth. “We missed the beginning of the movie.” Your words are followed by a soft giggle that makes Jeff grin as he shrugs.

You shift so you’re not straddling him anymore, moving back to sit at the opposite edge of the couch, just until you’ve both cooled down. Jeff keeps stealing glances at you, and fifteen minutes later, he’s sitting up enough to reach for you, pulling you back toward him to rest against his chest. Committing yourself to behaving, you nuzzle into his collarbone briefly as you settle into him.

Your eyes are on the TV, but you’re hardly paying attention to the movie. With your head on his chest again, the sound of his heartbeat is relaxing enough that you’re having trouble even staying awake. It’s barely even 9pm, but you’re so cozy and Jeff is so warm. He’s rubbing your back idly and toying with the ends of your hair, even kissing the top of your head a couple times.

The sound of Jeff’s voice is what wakes you up, and as you come to, you feel him rubbing your back still as he says your name. When you stir, you grumble under your breath, turning your head to bury your face in his chest. The motion makes Jeff chuckle quietly as he pushes your hair back from your face. It seems a lot darker in the room now, and when you open your eyes and look at the TV, you see that the credits are rolling.

“It’s time to get up, baby,” he tells you softly, nosing at your hair lightly. You stifle a yawn into his chest as you nod, exhaling a heavy sigh a minute later as you sit up.

“Sorry I fell asleep on you,” you say, trying to smooth down your hair and hoping that you don’t look too terrible. Jeff only grins, sitting up to lean toward you before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t mind, trust me,” he assures you. “I almost fell asleep too, if that makes you feel any better.” His words make you smile and you turn your head to look at him, immediately leaning a bit closer so you can kiss him softly.

It’s not hard to tell that he’s holding back, not letting the kiss get too deep. You hate that you know you’ve got to say goodbye soon, and as your mouth easily against his, you take his hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Can you stay here tonight?” you ask quietly when he pulls back. You’re still leaning into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body.

“I wish I could,” he tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead softly. “I’ve got an early practice tomorrow, and we’re heading to Chicago straight from there, and I haven’t even packed yet.” His words come with a soft laugh, and it’s impossible not to grin at him. The sleepy part of your brain wants you to beg him to stay over, selfishly wanting to just stay curled up with him all night.

“Shocking,” you tease, making him scoff before he kisses you again.

This time, the kiss is a little firmer, and his arm slips around your waist to pull your body closer to his. Your hand settles on the back of his neck as your mouth curves into a smile as you lean toward him. When you lick into his mouth, he makes a high sound that leaves you squeezing your thighs together. He pulls back a second later with flushed cheeks, and his eyes move over your face quickly.

“Yeah, I gotta go,” he says quickly, and the two of you laugh in unison as you nod. You both know that if he stay any longer, it’s just going to be harder for him to leave, and you’re the first to get to your feet.

Clearing your throat, you offer him a hand as you nod toward the door. He grins widely, taking your hand and pulling himself to his feet before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Jeff lingers with you in the foyer for a bit longer, stealing a few more kisses as you hold onto him. Your arms around around him as you lean into him, all but desperate to keep him from leaving as if he’ll be gone for longer than a couple days. When you finally let him go, he kisses you a few more times and promises to call you tomorrow before the game. The door closes behind him a moment later and you sigh, pushing your hair out of your face as you realize just how in love with him you are.

pour one out for the last safe for work chapter y’all 🥳🥳🥳 i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I’m so sorry it took so long for me to get this written, but I’m trying to make it up to you by finishing part five within the next ten days, so we’ll see how that goes, i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ as always, comments and messages are always appreciated!!! i’ve been trying to figure out a way to do some sort of comment board of sorts bc I know a lot of people don’t reblog fic so idk. if y’all have any ideas, I’d love to hear them!

[ericahitshawaii]

From the land

Today I am leaving the ocean and heading to the land.  The Big Island is even more biodiverse than Maui.  It contains 11 of the 14 climate zones in the world.  They even have snow on their tallest peak, Mauna Kea.  Today I am heading south og Kona to explore a Chocolate Farm, a coffee farm and a bee apiary!

Chocolate Farm

The Original Hawaiian Chocolate factory is the only chocolate producer in an industrialized country that processes the chocolate from the plant all the way to the final product.  Most chocolate producers start with the dried cocoa bean.  The beautiful estate grows cacao (the pod that chocolate is made from), macadamia nuts and coffee.  The entire operation is run by only eight staff, including the owner (Bob) and his wife.  (American Ex-pats)

Above are the tree that the cacao pods grow on.  They are about the size of a large eggplant when fully ripe.  Iniside these pods there is a fibrous membrane (like in a squash) that contains seeds.  These seeds have to be fermented and dried to give them the chocolate flavor.  This produces chocolate nibs which are ground to make cocoa powder, which becomes chocolate.  (More or less, you can google it if you want to fact check me on this one.)

Cacao pods growing in the trees.  This variety will will turn a bright yellow when they are ripe. 

Ripe cacao pods.  They grow in a variety of colors.  For example green pods turn yellow when ripe, maroon pods turn candy apple red when ripe.  Other colors include purple, orange and rainbow!

These are the seeds (or cocoa beans) inside of the pod.  They are covered with a bitter coating that will help ferment the seeds.

After they have fermented, they are cleaned off and left outside to dry on these racks.

Cocoa beans on the drying rack.  These will be ground to make the cocoa powder used to make chocolate!  This chocolate farm only makes milk and dark chocolate.

Fun fact:  White chocolate is not actually made from the solid bean, it is made from cocoa butter, which is extracted from the bean.  Since there are no cocoa butter extractors on the island, they are limited to milk and dark chocolate only.

It was really interesting to see this done as a small operation, given the extremely unjust conditions that many cacao growers face in developing countries.  At least one aspect of eating chocolate was guilt-free today! m On to cofee next!

Coffee Farm

There is a oot of coffee grown in Hawaii so I had lots of options for a coffee tour.  No one will be surprised to hear that I chose the Kona Historic Socity’s Living History coffee farm!!  YEA!  The nerdiest of an already nerd activity!

So...the Kona Historical Society has preserved one of the early coffee farms on the island that was run by a Japanese family.  It was purchased by the Ushida family in 1913.  The Ushida’s had immigrated from Japans and decided to take up farming.  However, they had no experience farming coffee when they bought the coffee farm in 1913.  The spent the next few years learning from local farmers how to grow it.  This was the beginning of what we know know as the Kona coffee industry, which was led mostly by Japanese immigrants.  The Ushida’s were one of the first Japanese families to do it and encouraged and inspired many other to take up the trade throughout the 20th century.

Fun fact:  In the 1940s 50% of people living in Hawaii were Japanese.

The Ushida’s tore down the small farmhouse that was on the property when they purchased it and built a traditional Japanese home.  The Ushida’s had 5 children, who all shared a three room house (a iving area, bedroom and kitchen).

The Ushida farmhouse, built circa 1917.

To be totally honest, I had absolutely no idea how coffee grew.  I knew it came from beans, but that was about it.  Well...it grows on trees.  Coffee trees can live and produce coffee for hundreds of years, in fact.  Coffee beans actually form inside of these cmall round berries.  (They sort of look like cranberries.)  They are green when unripe and turn a bright red color when ripe.  Inside each berry is a small amount of flesh (similar to grapes) and in the center is a coffee bean.  In order to make coffee, the berries have to be picked, the skin and flesh need to be removed, the beans need to be dried and then they can be roasted.  Coffee beans are harvested 4 months out the year from September - December.

Coffe tree.  The base of this tree is over 100 years old.  The branches are trimmed every few years, but the base and root systems can remain for hundreds of years.

Coffee berries.  These are small because the are yound.  They are about cranberry sized.  The will grow to be closer to grape size when it is time to harvest next September.

The Ushida’s also grew other plants for subsistence farming and to sell at local markets.  Although the weather in Hawaii is perfect for growing almost anything, it can sometime be difficult to farm because of the lava rock that covers most of the land.  Plants that do very well in Hawaii have extremely strong root systems that can actually break through the rock or grow within cracks a crevasses in the rock.  (Like coffee, cacao and pineapple).

It’s a baby pineapple!  It’s one of the only plants, where if you plant any part of the pineapple it is capable of growing a new one.

This may look like a cucumber, but it is actually a plant that grows bath loofahs.  Yep, for real.

See!?!  I didn’t make this up.

During the 4 month harvesting season, the Ushida men would wake up at 2:30 to start harvesting and finish after sunset.  The women would wake up at 4:30am.  The entire family, including small chilren, would harvest the beans.  The most difficult part of the process was removing the skin and flesh from the beans.  It is only since WWII that most farmers had a mechanized process to do it.  For centuries it was done by stomping on them with your feet.  Like grapes.

Once the beans are removed from the berries, they need to be dried, which can take up to 10 days.  The Ushida’s would leave them out in the sun to dry and bring them into the shed when it rained and at night.  At any given time there would be over 1000 pounds of beans drying.  (On average, an adult could pick 150 lbs. a day).  In the 1940 the Ushida’s developed a brillant idea to create a drying platform on the top of the barn/shed that had a sliding roof, so that they could cover the beans at night or during rain and not have to carry the beans in.  Genius.  This is the original roof and the sliding mechanism still works perfectly!

Kona coffee is still an institution in Hawaii.  Descendants of the Ushida family lived in the original house until 1994.  (They never modernized the house, it still had a wood burning stove and outhouse/outdoor bath house)  The historical society bought it and preserved it.  It is still a working farm today.

Lunch

L&L Barbeque is Hawaiian fast food institution.  I stopped here for lunch and was not disappointed.  Many of the things on the menu reflect the Asian and Japanese heritage of the island.  I ordered the chicken lovers platter, BBQ chicken,  Chicken katsu and...something else delicious.

Chicken Lovers Plate

Bees

My last stop for the day was Big Island Bees.  A bee apiary.

Big Island Bees, Kona

I have always been obsessed with bees (and colony animals in general, like ants) so I was SO EXCITED about this.  I have probably told many of you this, but the U of M refused to let me volunteer at their bee lab and I am still really bitter about it.

Kim, the master Bee keeper, gave us free samples and showed us the hives.  They have several sites across the island that produce different kinds of honey.  There are two ways to get flavored honey.  One is to infuse a flavor into already created honey, like pepper or cinnamon.  The other is to place the hives in a area where they have access to only one or prodominantly one kind of flower.  Their bees make three kinds of honey.  One from Macadamia Nut trees, one from the Wilelaiki blossom on theChristmasberry tree (introduced in Hawaii from Brazil) and the rareist type, the Lahua blossom honey, which comes from the Ohi’a trees.  Ohi’a trees are found only on Hawaii and grow out of lava rock.  The honey is naturally white.  (Apparently you can buy Big Island Honey at costco!)

So I learned a lot of cool stuff about bees.  I could write for hours about it, but I’m just going to give you my favorite fun facts.  If you want to know more, let’s hang out!

Fun fact 1: Queens can live for 1-5 years, where as the rest of the bees in the hive only live 4-8 weeks.

Fun fact2:  All of the worker bees in the hive are female.  The only male bees in the hive are called Drones.  Their only job is to mate with the Queen, so when the food is scarce or the hive is in trouble, the female workers bees evict the Drones by biting off their wings, pushing them out of the hive and leaving them on the ground to die.  Sorry fellas, they don’t have time for freeloaders!  I love bees!

Fun fact 3:The worker bees go through four different jobs in their short lives 1) Take care and feed of the baby bees, which hatch in the cells in the hive, feed and take care of the queen, protect the hive, and forage for pollen.

Fun fact 4: Bees are super ruthless, if the queen is not doing so hot, the hive releases special pharamones (sp?) so that the queen will give birth to her own replacement and then they will kill the queen once she’s born.  Total mutiny.  

Not so fun fact 5: Bees are in trouble because of a small hive mite that has starting taking over the hives, laying eggs in the cells and eventually forcing the bees out of the hive.  Hives have to be checked and treated regularly to keep from being infested by these small invasive beetles from Asia.  Boo!

Beekeeper Lisa

One hive.  It contains both the cells for honey and for making baby bees.  This hive has no drones, because it is a slow honey producer, so they opted to kill all of the drones until they have more honey.

The queen is in here somewhere..

Lastly, bees can make art.  Their so cool and talented.  I am ecited because my goal for this spring and summer is to plant a pollinator friendly yard.  I applied for a grant to do, I will know shortly if I got it.  My eventual goal would be to have a hive in my yard, but it is really hard to overwinter bees in Minnesota, so I might have to work up to this.  Future goals...

Honeycomb sculpture (Real honeycomb that the bees constructed over a metal frame)

That’s it for the day.  Tomorrow: Travel along the southern coast of the island to visit the Place of Refuge National Historic Park and one of only 4 green sand beaches in the world.

[duskodair]

so I’ve just spent several hours compiling my eurovision top 41

it will probably change but bc i’ve done that, its going on here bc what else am i meant to do with it?

it also contains more words than i’ve written for the essays ive got due in soon but oh well

1)     10 – Norway – Spirit in the Sky – Norway have written themselves into song. I love this song so much. When the beat drops I’m never ready for it, so it always blows me away. The joik part is exceptional. Alexandra has the most beautiful voice. The northern lights aren’t the only things dancing. I could, and I have, listen to this song on repeat for hours. Every time it has the same effect as the first time.

2)     9.5 – Iceland – Hatrid Mun Sigra – this is funky from the outset. It makes me wish I spoke Icelandic. I love the juxtaposition between the rough growl and the almost angelic singing. I love the lyrics to this, I think they’re a very bold message.

3)     9 – Spain – La Venda – Whenever this starts, I automatically start smiling. This is happiness in a song and I’ve loved it since I first heard it at the national selection. I love the way he performs, you could see and hear how happy he was to be singing it. I’m not too impressed by the revamp but I do like the emphasis they’ve added to the drums.

4)     9 – Switzerland – She Got Me – this has got me dirty dancing. I love the way this sounds. I love practically every element to this song. I like the little echoes and repetitions of lyrics. I also enjoy how it is stripped back before there is a clapping section.

5)     9 – Malta – Chameleon – this is funky, and I love it. I’m not quite sure what she’s saying for most of it, but it doesn’t matter, I’m too busy dancing to it. I like the noise of the muted trumpet. I like the clapping bit.

6)     8.5 – Greece – Better Love – this is great from the start. I love her voice. I love the almost whispered backing vocals juxtaposed with an almost choral sound. This is a really good song.

7)     8.5 – Russia – Scream – another powerful ballad. He has a great voice. It’s a very dramatic song, which I can appreciate. I like how it builds as the song continues.

8)     8.5 – Albania – Ktheju Tokes – this is a very powerful song and I love the use of language in it. I really like the message behind it. It’s very intense to listen to but all the elements mesh together well. Her voice is so strong. I like the backing singers that were added in the revamp.

9)     8.5 – Israel – Home – he has a strong voice and it really fits this song. You can feel the power of the emotions behind the lyrics and I love the background singers harmonising with him. I like it.

10)  8.5 – Belgium – Wake Up – I like the tambourine. This is a nice pop song but its not exceptional. I like the way it builds through the verses. He has a nice voice. The variation between the verse and the chorus is quite nice. You can clap to it so that’s good.

11)  8.5 – Denmark – Love is Forever – I love this song – its so catchy and I love the use of language – she has a very nice voice – I also like to sing along with this one. I like the use of pizzicato in the music. Its nice to see Denmark back on their favourite song topic, love.

12)  8 – Italy – Soldi – clap clap. I like the speed with which he sings and that he varies it throughout the song. Its not as good as the last two years’ Italian entries but its still strong.

13)  8 – Netherlands – Arcade – he has a nice voice. The song sounds nice but its not especially special. His voice sounds right for the song, unlike others. I like the different levels of sound. It’s a very dramatic song. I like the clapping bit.

14)  8 – Azerbaijan – Truth – I like his use of falsetto. I also enjoy the emphasis put on ‘shut up’, that sounds really nice. It has a really good beat. I like the pause before the chorus begins.

15)  7.5 – Poland – Pali Sie – I love this song. It’s funky and I keep getting it stuck in my head. It’s a shame that they made it bilingual for Eurovision. I like the way their voices interact with the music before coming into a sort of unity for the chorus.

16)  7.5 – San Marino – Say Na Na Na – this is funky from the start. It makes you want to dance. I like all the small references to other Eurovision entries ‘love all colours of this life’ and ‘say yay yay yay’. It’s very hopeful and uplifting and I hope this does well.

17)  7.5 – Ireland – 22 – this is funky, and I’ve enjoyed it since it was released. It makes me want to dance, and I really like her voice. I like the background string instrument. The background singers are used well.

18)  7.5 – Cyprus – Replay – this doesn’t do much for me. Its fun to listen to but it reminds me too much of last year’s entry. I don’t feel anything special when I listen to it. Yes, I can, and do, dance to it but its not really for me.

19)  7.5 – Hungary – Az En Apam – He’s back! This has a cool chill feel. I like the use of language here. The whistling fits in well too. I like the unity between Joci and the backing singer for the chorus. Na na na na na…

20)  7.5 – UK – Bigger than Us – a strong power ballad. It needs a bigger start to get it away but once its going, does it go. I like the choral sounding backing vocals. I keep hearing ‘cry no more’ in it but I think that’s also just me.

21)  7.5 – North Macedonia – Proud – powerful ballad, meaningful message, great voice. I can get this stuck in my head

22)  7 – Romania – On A Sunday – it’s a chill song and I like listening to it. It has a good beat that comes in. her voice fits well with it. I like the use of echoing in the song.

23)  7 – Czech Republic – Friend of a Friend – its funky and you can definitely dance to it. I like the woman saying, ‘I’m only a friend’, I think she’s the best part of this song. It’s catchy and I think it will quite well at Eurovision.

24)  7 – France – Roi – its grown on me, but he needs to work on his live singing. It’s a shame its not all in French. This has a great message and I do like to sing along to it. He’s clearly very emotionally invested in it and the crowd love it, so good luck to him.

25)  7 – Serbia – Kruna – I like the use of Serbian in this. She has a very strong voice and I like how she alters it through the song. I like the use of the guitar to build up to the chorus.

26)  7 – Germany – Sister – I like their voices but they sound rough sometimes. I do enjoy this song though and frequently find it stuck in my head. I like the way it builds as well as the twinkly music box instrument noises.

27)  7 – Armenia – Walking Out – She has a strong voice, but I feel like this song doesn’t go anywhere. Its excitement is wasted. Even the strong chorus is futile, the song finishes and then I instantly forget it. The parts don’t feel entirely unified. But I do like the choral feel to the later parts of the song.

28)  6.5 – Austria – Limits – she has a very unique voice. I like the quiet start to the song. I like it when the background music comes in and the song begins to build, before dying back down. It puts a lot of emphasis on her voice. I would prefer if the song built up to something bigger. The small climax is nice, but is it big enough for Eurovision?

29)  6.5 – Australia – Zero Gravity – this is an interesting song and its grown on me. But the high note, for that high note she’s just screaming, and I don’t like that at all. It’s catchy and I can sing along but I’m still not attached to it. Its weird and I’m not sure if it works.

30)  6.5- Sweden – Too Late for Love – fun pop song – format feels overused Sweden – please get a new one, I’m finding it hard to differentiate between your songs – he sings well though – I like the backing singers

31)  6.5 – Slovenia – Sebi – I like the use of language but the song doesn’t really do anything for me. It has an interesting sound. It doesn’t feel like the singer particularly cares about the lyrics. I could get this stuck in my head though.

32)  6 – Finland – Look Away – I’m not sure about the singer’s voice. It just doesn’t sound right for most of the song. It’s a funky and catchy song, though, so I enjoy listening to it. Darude’s bit is very good, so that brings this song up.

33)  6 – Moldova – Stay – she has a powerful voice. I like some of the notes particularly. It builds up quite nicely.

34)  6 – Latvia – That Night – I like the melody of ‘lo-o-o-o-ve’ but some of the vocals are rough. Nevertheless, some of it is catchy – I keep mishearing ‘there is a house in New Orleans’ from the house of the rising sun in it but I think that’s just me. Quite repetitive.

35)  6 – Lithuania – Run with the Lions – weird falsetto singing in parts – catchy in parts – it’s a nice pop song but doesn’t really go anywhere

36)  6 – Croatia - The Dream – I like his voice and the bit in Croatian but he’s always singing flat out – it would sound better with variation – I do like to sing along though, which I don’t do for other songs

37)  6 – Estonia – Storm – this is quite a generic pop song. It reminds a lot of Sebalter’s song ‘Carry the Light’ and it just doesn’t do much for me. It’s more a piece of background music for me rather than a song I’d actively seek out.

38)  6 – Belarus – Like It – lots of ‘oo’. Slightly repetitive. Its an ok party pop song. I’m not enamoured with it. The chorus is quite catchy however. I’m not sure about her voice.

39)  4.5 – Portugal – Telemoveis – discordant and fragmented. I don’t understand it. It doesn’t come together as a whole for me. The pizzicato strings are interesting, but this song is just not for me at all.

40)  4 – Montenegro – Heaven – its much better with the revamp but this song still isn’t great – the new instruments move it always from the realm of total generic-ness but it’s still not ideal

41)  2 – Georgia – Sul Tsin Iare –I like the use of language but I just don’t like this song. It feels very clunky and forced – that one judge seems to love it though

[dirt-goth]

answer all the numbers

[stevedonnellyfaith-blog]

Penance at Discharge (Post 111) 10-14-15

                        Last Wednesday evening I traveled from work in Youngstown to Cleveland to pick up Stephen and take him home after the completion of his week of testing for epilepsy.  I decided to work the full day and arrive at around 5 PM because I believe I had previously tried every conceivable pick-up time at John Muir Medical Center and a dozen other hospitals and have always still found the hospital staff woefully unprepared to discharge either Pam, Nick, Abby, Stephen or Natalie on almost every single occasion.  Because I spend my professional life using Lean Manufacturing tools to carve minutes and seconds out of processes to achieve savings, unnecessary hospital discharge delays always grate on my nerves. Luckily, in a former life, decades ago, I wore the uniform of our country and am hardwired to tolerate circumstances where a “hurry up and wait “outcome is assured.

Upon arrival in Stephen’s room, I was greeted by mysteriously mixed signals.  Stephen was already garbed in sweatshirt, sweatpants and sneakers like he was ready to head home, but he still had an IV visible on his hand.  Usually when a person is being discharged after a serious illness, removing the IV is nearly the last precautionary order of business.  Stephen, though, had checked in for testing in a relatively healthy state and had not had any unexpected issues during the tests.  His nurse soon arrived to dispel my confusion; he let me know that Stephen would be ready for discharge immediately after completing an MRI, for which he had waited all day.  Evidently, University Hospital’s policy is to assign the highest daytime priority for MRI, CT, Ultrasound and probably every other possible test service to outpatients, because, theoretically, inpatients can stay all night.  We left the hospital about three hours later at 8 PM. Not the most customer pleasing denouement to our visit, but otherwise Stephen was treated very well.

If I were a cradle Catholic, I probably would have remembered to offer up the entire experience, but, in actuality, Stephen’s hospital room was equipped with a passable selection of cable television channels so I think I passed the time treating my senses to an electronic barrage following the entertainment fasting conditions we have been living under since we moved out of my parent’s house.  I can’t remember what I watched.  Maybe I didn’t watch television at all and instead scrolled through Facebook, but I don’t think I could have whiled away three solid hours weaving through all the pages of what my friends have posted.  Usually I can only take so much Facebook as the recycled memes are often very repetitive.  Also I have a number of Libertarian, atheist and Pro-Choice friends that rake my scrolling sensibilities with morally questionable material or untruths that I generally try to identify and pass by like the doggie deposits that Natalie’s pets have peppered across my lawn – mowing my lawn is somewhat like hopscotch. For instance, I am friends with one of my high school football coaches, with whom I seem to agree and am able to “like” for less than ten percent of his posts. Luckily he has children and grandchildren, but I digress.

By Thursday morning I had largely forgotten the ordeal of disembarking from UH the previous evening. Natalie and I shared a last breakfast together as I planned to return to my regular morning schedule of 3 AM reveilles and 4 AM departures on Friday morning.  The work day proceeded and ended without significant event as I prepared notes and outlines for a leadership course that I intend to teach for supervisors this week upcoming.  At the end of my shift I felt quite relieved to be headed on only an hour commute home to Streetsboro instead of orbiting onward for an extra forty five minutes north eastward through Cleveland and only back to our cozy two-story after visiting Stephen. Normality seemed an alluring flavor after a week of passing time in extra driving and all too familiar clinical surroundings.

My phone buzzed as I was pulling into a gas station to top off my tank near the on-ramp of I-76, my tollless thoroughfare of choice from the Eastern border towards north central Ohio. I thought it would be a receptionist calling to provide information for Stephen’s follow-up appointment, but instead I recognized the heavy accent of my son’s neurologist who was calling to provide the results from the forgotten MRI.  I made her give me the date and time for the follow-up appointment first as we were both surprised that no scheduling information had been provided at discharge.  She then let me know that they had found something abnormal on Stephen’s MRI.  It was a sunny afternoon, but my soul seemed to darken with her words.

There was an unusual but small spot on his scan, that hadn’t activated with contrast so she thought it was unlikely to be cancer.  I asked clarifying questions with the concerned detachment of a person used to the responsibility of interpreting medical information for others including the patient.  The spot was not in the vicinity of the locus of Stephen’s epileptic activity as determined by a PET scan during his hospital stay.  The spot was being termed an “incidental finding” to be monitored by a follow-up MRI before Stephen’s next neurology visit in November.  The spot was consistent with the lesions often found in the brains of people who suffer from migraine headaches.  Stephen doesn’t get migraines.  The phone call ended and I resumed my drive.

As I drove, I slipped back into long practiced habits.  I finished my Divine Mercy Chaplet for the afternoon and offered a few extra prayers accepting whatever the overall outcome might be but also with hope that Stephen’s continued bad health not lead us down the cancer trail into a terminal cul-de-sac.  Then I picked up the phone and gave Pam’s mother the first call as I drove.  It is not the type of phone call that I relish making, but I prefer to give correct and realistic information directly to Barb rather than have her hear half-information from second-hand sources. I called my brother Sean next because I’ve found that giving several key people complete information is much better than giving lots of people partial information.  I called Abby as well and repeated almost verbatim what I had told Sean and Barbara.

I knew that none of them would splash the news onto Facebook, but all would be able to provide clarification once the news did hit social media.  Everything eventually ends up on Facebook.  Nicholas, unfortunately, found out that his mother had died via social media while he was on break at Straw Hat.  I hadn’t considered that possibility when I informed several family members of Pam’s death, but chose not to tell Nicholas for safety reasons. I didn’t want him driving home in a condition where he couldn’t pay attention.  I have since remembered to consider the possibility of a Facebook spill with sensitive information.

By that time I had arrived my parent’s house to pick up Natalie.  (The bus drops her off there in case I am held up at work.)  I let my parents know about the spot on Stephen’s MRI face-to-face.  That is my preference for difficult news, but personal conversations are not always possible once the pebble has dropped into the pool in our information age.  With both sets of grandparents dutifully briefed, I drove the couple of miles remaining through Streetsboro boulevards and avenues so that I could pass the bad news to Stephen.  I expected that he would have questions.  My son is in a much better place now with regard to paranoia, but I remember some very bad times with him after Pam’s death.

Instead Stephen smiled at the news and asked me why I didn’t remember watching Nicola Tesla.  At first I thought he was talking gibberish, but after several minutes of further conversation, I realized that Stephen had remembered a forgotten incident from a decade previous back when we lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  

A bi-polar child misdiagnosed as hyper-active, Stephen’s made a long promenade through various unsuccessful treatment plans until eventually a doctor decided that Stephen needed a brain MRI.  In preparation for the scan Stephen had to stay up all night the day previous to his test. I stayed up with him.  At about 4 AM we ended up watching a long documentary about the imminently brilliant and simultaneously wacked-out physicist Nicola Tesla.  I had totally forgotten about the entire experience.  Nothing to help Stephen’s condition was found by the MRI, but Stephen did remember being petrified by the discovery of an “incidental finding” of a spot on his brain that was not immediately dangerous but should be monitored in the future.  I guess I forgot to do so.

I spent the next half an hour reeling back in the thread of incomplete information that I had earlier cast out.  It made me chuckle to have finally found the missing bookend of experience to complete the short-lived horror from all those years ago.  An incident that had appeared to be random and pointlessly scary until its import made its comet-like return to my solar system at a time so remote that only my most distracted son remembered the original occurrence. Because there is a God, I know that everything in my life has a purpose and a reason even when the mosaic of occurrences appears too close to be deciphered from my vantage point.

Unhappily, I was reminded that life can be hard to understand in a different way on Sunday. A 16 year-old daughter of a good friend from my youth died unexpectedly from a brain hemorrhage at Saturday field hockey practice at a high school in New England. I could see no purpose to the death of a young girl within a close proximity to her teammates.  I have seen the impact of that type of situation on servicemen and can’t fathom how a bunch of young women will suffer the impact of witnessing the loss of a friend in those circumstances.  Unfortunately, my imagination is probably sufficient to paint the details of the scene in my head if I try to do so:  a teary-eyed teammate sprinting for help, an adult coach working to revive or fix something in a little girl’s body that cannot be repaired, a collapsed collection of sobbing teenagers left at the scene after the ambulance has departed.  I can make no sense of what has become of the poor girl’s short and seemingly glorious years – she tutored underprivileged kids.

While there is a Mass card for her waiting for pickup in my mailbox, I have no adequate words to send to her teammates or family.  Yet I do know that flowers of love will sprout from the death of Casey Dunne in Braintree, Massachusetts just as good things have come from Pam’s death years removed and a continent away.  That does not mean that I am happy to have lost my wife, Barb’s daughter and the mother of my children.  I accept the experience and understand that good was achieved through God’s plan. While I am very happy that it does not look like Stephen will need a craniotomy, I am no longer naive enough to believe that Pam’s death was the last tragedy that I will experience. I do know that I will accept what comes and trust in God’s goodness even when my human understanding is insufficient to grasp the providence of a horrifying situation.

[thewidowstanton]

Dangerous Steve, outdoor showman, comedy actor, Sideshow Illusions performer

Dangerous Steve is the stage name of Steve Collison, who was born in King’s Lynn but grew up near the Buckinghamshire village of Middle Claydon. He had the most extraordinary childhood and started living up to his name by doing dangerous things at a ridiculously young age. He was billed – by agents such as Bernard Woolley, TB Phillips and Temple’s Gala agency – as ‘the World’s Youngest Motorcycle Stunt Rider’. As well as touring internationally as Dangerous Steve, he has also worked with Magic Carpet Theatre – where he is company manager – for 30 years. And he regularly performs with Jon Marshall’s Sideshow Illusions and Dr Phantasma’s Amazing Ten in One Show.

Steve is married to fellow Sideshow Illusions performer Alexandra Collison, who was my first Widow interviewee, under her maiden name of Boanas. Alex, who is a trained soprano and has an MA in performance, often plays Yvette – the Headless Lady, Miss Elastina and No-Middle Myrtle, as well as Romana the Gypsy Queen on the Ladder of Swords. They have two children, Flossie and Winnie, who are almost destined to follow in their parents’ showbusiness footsteps. Steve chats to Liz Arratoon.

The Widow Stanton: When and how did you start stunt riding? Dangerous Steve: My dad, Peter, was the butler at Claydon House stately home in Buckinghamshire. At Christmas when I was five, Sharon, my sister, was getting lots of presents and I almost started getting a bit teary because I noticed I wasn’t getting as many. Then I was taken into the other room where there was a big present. Somewhere I’m on Cine film; there’s me unwrapping a motorbike, and apparently I just stood there shaking for ages, which was very funny. I started off just riding round the estate for a while but dad wasn’t very impressed with me just haring around on a motorbike, he wanted me to do tricks and stuff like that.

As a child, to be brought up at Claydon House… I was the only one on the estate as my sister went away to boarding school as a dancer. Sometimes I just wanted to kick a football around with my friends; on the other hand I did go around the estate thinking how lucky I was and how amazing the views over the lake were on summer evenings. We used to live in the courtyard. There was a swimming pool and stuff like that, which Sir Ralph and Lady Verney never really used, so I had my own little swimming pool. They were like my grandparents. I’d go round there on Christmas day and open presents with them.

I joined The Spirit of Britain junior motorcycle display team, which was run by a guy called Gus Scott, who used to train Eddie Kidd. I was with them from when I was five years old to seven. They were based in Luton and I toured around with them, but because I had so much space at home and they could only meet twice a week, I started practising all the tricks alone. My dad was thinking, ‘Well, he can now do all these tricks himself’, so he started taking me to do all the galas and carnivals around the country to perform on my own. Your dad sounds amazing. What sort of dad would give his kid a motorbike? Did he want to be in showbusiness himself? Yes, he did. He was very different. He managed to get an Equity card and had done some extra work and been in shows doing whatever he was asked to do. I think people are now quite interested in butlers and stately homes. My mum was very proud of me but would only watch me once I could do the tricks without falling off. I hurt myself but I never broke any bones with the motorbike. My dad was very good at starting off with quite basic things and was very strict on making sure I did things the right way. How much fun was all this for a kid? It was very exciting. I couldn’t sleep the week before a show. We’d go away in a big lorry and it was like a holiday, apart from I used to have to map-read. Some of these country fairs are in the middle of nowhere and one wrong turn, you could end up backing the lorry two miles down the road in the way of tractors… I soon got very good at map-reading because otherwise I’d get into so much trouble. I was doing tricks jumping over fire and through fire at seven or eight. Dad was very good at building props and made a tunnel of fire. Once we’d got the frame with all the fire straw in the middle of the park – we’d found a field without any sheep on it – I remember saying to him just before we lit it, ‘Dad, when we light the fire, what if I don’t want to do it?’, and he said: “You will do it. Now I’ve built it, you’ll do it.”

Once they were built, there was no going back and I’d practise and practise and practise. As I got older, people expected more from me, so the ability went up with my age; bigger jumps, bigger fire, pyrotechnics… because it was only me, whereas some of the bigger army display teams, like the White Helmets, would fill the stage. I had a load of publicity when I was awarded The Star newspaper Best in Britain award, presented by David Essex. I was sponsored by National, the petrol firm who used Smurfs to promote their brand. Sharon joined the act. Later she became a dancer and choreographer and now runs Claydons Academy, teaching dance and drama, but then she was a Smurf! Were you paid appearance fees? Yes. Once when I had a three-week tour in Scotland, the whole family came up there because it was in the summer holidays. We all stayed in a tent and it rained for most of the time. I can remember waking up one morning floating on an airbed. I didn’t realise until I put my foot outside the sleeping bag into a load of water that the whole family was floating! I’d get paid every week and we’d accumulated quite a bit of cash. The Leeds Building Society was doing deals at the gala that if you were a child you could open a bank account with £1 and you got a money box and a bag and stuff like that. Mum and dad decided the safest thing to do with the money was to go to open up an account. I was about eight. They were expecting me to give £1 and suddenly I had this wad of cash. They must have wondered where I’d got it from and just thought I’d stolen it or found it.

Did you ever go to school? I did. The school was very good and if ever there was a school fete or anything like that they’d always ask me to do my motorcycle stunt show. I was filmed on my motorbike for children’s TV with Anneka Rice, who once came to school. We had a mock school fete and she was lying down and I ended up jumping over her. What happened next? The motorbike act stopped when public liability insurance started getting really expensive. I was about 14. Then my dad and I toured the Crazy Brigade – a comedy fire brigade, very much Keystone Cops, very visual – round country shows and big galas. It was a comedy car act that drove on its own and fell apart, but it was more like a stunt comedy act. There was a lot of water! My dad built a human cannon and we thought, ‘Oh, we need an act for it’, especially when he’d taken a picture of it and sold it. We had ten shows booked in before we even had an act.

I used to worry; we had a prop, a comedy cannon, but no show. It blew up at the end and I went flying out of the end of it but not a great distance. I never got to the net on the other side of the arena. But we did it in the end and it was very successful. I knew Martin Burton of Zippos Circus from the galas and carnivals, rather than as a circus contact. When I was 15, in my last year at school, he kindly said I could do work experience on their theatre tour. Other people worked in the local bakery. I went to Wales and Carlisle and never went back to school.

What does Dangerous Steve actually do? It kind of depends where I’m booked to do it. If it’s in the middle of a town centre early on a Saturday morning with a few people walking past with shopping bags, the last thing they want to do is get stopped to watch a show by some nutter in the street. I try to make my show very entertaining and try to be likeable on stage. If it’s indoors and the audience is put there for me, it’s the same show but I have to work in a different way. I do ten things; I start on my motorcycle monowheel. It builds up a big crowd straightaway. I sit inside the wheel – the engine is inside it – and it’s a very difficult bike to balance and ride. I’ve spent the last three years learning how to do a new trick on it; a double loop the loop.

I then go on to my motorcycle sidecar, which I ride round, introduce myself, and then stand on top of the seat and juggle knives. Then I do some fire. With outdoor shows I try to make it really very appealing at the start to distract people from the funfair and the stalls by doing fire tricks and some big fireballs with fire whips and things like that…

Fire whips? Yes, they create a massive fireball. I go from there to the unsupported ladder, so I’m up high, talking to people telling them what they’re about to see, and if they don’t want to see it now’s the time to leave! I’m very proud of balancing on top of a ten-foot ladder. It’s scary, as I don’t like heights! Then I then do a giant rola-bola, so I’m on a tower, on top of a beer keg on its side and on top of a board, and then I go through a fire hoop. Then I juggle a chainsaw, and do my giant unicycle, which is bigger this year, a ten-foot unicycle, and then into a blindfold motorcycle stunt. I set two chainsaws going – possibly four this year – on a frame, and I ride round blindfolded and through the frame with a steel shield on my face and a hood over my head, which I get the audience to check. And, you know, hopefully I don’t cut my head off.

Has anything ever gone wrong? When I was learning, I broke my arm just before doing a show in a school hall. I thought, ‘That really hurt, I think I’ve damaged my arm’. In the first part of show I had to play the drums. Oh, my goodness, every time I hit the drums it was excruciating. 15 years later I finally learnt to do the trick I was trying when I broke my arm! I did a show in Scotland last year and before I went on, they announced that they were having a dog show and they’d put a big marquee in the corner of the arena, which made it quite narrow. I was driving my monowheel but I tipped over too far and the foot peg stuck into the ground and I went right over doing a somersault in the wheel, I flew out of it, got back on it, and carried on and the crowd loved it! [Laughs]

Then I got on my sidecar to juggle the knives and I went over a bump and one of the knives went into my face. I had blood running down my face. I looked at the organisers who were looking at me, like, ‘What have we booked, some cowboy?’, but actually, afterwards they loved it and they want me back. [Laughs] So it pays to hurt yourself sometimes.  

How did you learn all your other skills? Because I’ve been involved in so many shows over the years, I kind of picked up all these skills individually. It was a bit of watching others and trial and error. My show is very different to anyone else’s on the outdoor circuit. I don’t know anyone else who does some of the tricks, but I’ve seen someone else doing others and I’ve thought, ‘Oh, that would be perfect for my show’.

Do you have a natural ability to pick things up? Probably not. It’s practice, and a lot of the things I’ve learnt to do, I was a teenager. If you’re a teenager you don’t mind falling off so much. It doesn’t hurt so much. I must admit some of the time now, when I’m trying new stuff out, I do think, ‘Am I a bit old for this?’.

I believe there’s one motorbike stunt that I’ve done that you haven’t… [Laughs] Yes, yes. The Wall of Death! It’s a dream and an ambition one day to do it.

It was horrific but you would love it! I’m going to contact Jake Messham and try to arrange it. I should do it September because it’s always a little bit dangerous trying new tricks out just before you get really busy for the summer season.

And the Globe of Death, do you fancy that? I would love to try. I’d try anything really.

How do you divide your time? We’re trying to stay busy all year round and it is really busy. The summer is now crazy with Dangerous Steve, so every weekend and Bank Holiday and there seem to be a lot of agricultural shows in the week as well. Last August I went from Orkney to Guernsey, doing shows on the way down as well. Summer season now… outdoor shows seem to be really good, really healthy and a full season of shows, like the olden days, really. When that quietens off in September, we go into Magic Carpet theatre shows and December, we’re sold out in schools performing a theatre show.

How did you come to join Magic Carpet so young? After Zippos the school let me go off on more work experience with Jon Marshall, who I’d worked with in the galas and carnivals when he was The Man with the X-ray Eyes. Magic Carpet is his children’s theatre company that tours schools, art centres and theatres up and down the country and occasionally we get to go abroad. The shows are very visual, good fun and exciting. It’s a comedy play. We don’t have any big message; it’s just a great way to introduce children to live theatre. They laugh all the way through and if they haven’t seen much before, they come out absolutely buzzing. Jon is very good at making it exciting and understandable. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster with highs, but we also bring them down again. We know when the dangerous bits are coming up where the kids might shout out, but no one needs to be on edge as we’ve got them under control.

Do you feel you sort of owe your career to your dad, really? Yes, very much so, dad and Jon. All through my childhood I had so much respect for my dad and so much help, hours and hours of dragging me round the country, which I enjoyed. I enjoyed where I lived at the stately home, and also the travelling around at the same time. He would be working after I’d gone to bed out in the workshop, building props for me and I’d be practising with them after school the next day, probably falling off, breaking it, and he’d be back in the workshop again mending it and telling me not to fall off again.

Do you think your experience could happen to a child these days because of health and safety… It would be very difficult. Even now with Flossie, if she falls over, the first thing that goes through your mind when she goes to pre-school, they’re going to see a bruise and it’s going to have to go in a report and they ask how it happened. They also ask the child as well to see if the stories match, whereas when I was a child and did The Spirit of Britain, I remember we were doing some practising and I set off the wrong way round the arena, ending up colliding with another bike, fell off, the foot peg went into my foot, I ended up in hospital, and then a couple of days later it was all forgotten. I wouldn’t want Flossie to hurt herself and there are ways of learning tricks with protection, but I wouldn’t put her off doing what I did. I try not to be too pushy with her because I think slow and steady will win the race.

Not like yer dad then? [Laughs] [Laughs] To be honest she’s only four, a little bit younger than I was when I started. But she is very keen on running onstage at the end of the show and she likes to go in the blade box, with blades in it. I’ve got a motorbike and sidecar and last year in Poynton, near Manchester, she sat on the sidecar.

Did you ever imagine that this would be your life? No, but later on in school everyone was talking about what they were going to do as a career, and I did think, ‘What the hell am I going to do?’. Then I thought, ‘Well, actually, I quite like what I do now. At the age of 15 I’ve already got quite a few years’ experience behind me. I’ve learnt how to do things and how not to do things’. So it would have been a waste not to carry on, and I’m so glad I stuck at it. When you’re a teenager sometimes the grass is always greener on the other side. When I was getting towards 19, some of my mates were earning quite good money doing other things, and I was thinking, ‘Oh, should I change what I do?’, but obviously I’m so glad I didn’t. I love it more now than ever.

Dangerous Steve will be appearing at Kimpton in Hertfordshire on 4 May, 2019 at the start of his summer season. Check his website for details.

Picture credit: Ian Spooner

Steve’s website

Twitter: @DangerousSteve1 @sideshowmagic

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

[skittles-pixie]

85 statements

R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people

I was tagged by the always wonderful @essentiallychaotic​

I would like to tag: dude idk if I know 20 people to tag but ill try... if I tag you and you don't want me to please tell me @iridescentautistic​ @mybloodyplacemats​ @wanderer-and-muse​ @standswithpotatos​ @alaskanomad​ @melodychanges​ @happydance416​ uuuuuuh idk that's 7? lol @everyone that works right?

Part 1: the last:

drink: Twist up its a lemon lime soda... idk I asked my boy for a drink and that's what he brought me

phone call: My mother she woke me up two days ago

text message: to me- my mother.... from me- my coworker

song you listened to: Brittany spears toxic started playing on the radio when I got home from work

time you cried: Last night... combination of hormones and touchy feely movie... hormones suck...

Part 2: Ever:

dated someone twice: uh ive been on more than one date with my boy... otherwise my dating history is a little unclear... several guys who acted like we were dating and then refused to actually call it a date... so yeah idk...

kissed someone and regretted it: ooooooooh yeah.....  alcohol is bad for you kids......

been cheated on: nope... ive only been in the one relationship and I have a very loyal boy

lost someone special: yes... both in passing away and by loosing touch....

been depressed: been? as in passed tense... lol try still depressed... ive learned how to handle it though, and it helps to have an outlet that's not controlled by my mother, and people who care about me. and to not be told how terrible I am every 5 minutes.

gotten drunk and thrown up: I had a crazy 21st birthday.... after that I try not to get that drunk... but it happens on occasion... lol

Part 3: Favourite colours: ALL OF THEM!!! I really like colors.. though green, blue, and blood red are prolly my top colors...

Part 4: In the last year have you:

made new friends: yes.... more like my boy made friends and introduced me, but yeah I always meet new people

fallen out of love: Naw  I love my boy too much

laughed until you cried: yeeeeah.... I laugh a lot lol....

found out someone was talking about you: yeah apparently people talk about me a lot “oh yeah I know who you are” is a phrase I hear a lot when meeting people... also I guess my boy talks about me? but from what I hear people usually say good things

met someone who changed you: yeah ive spent some time getting to know myself better

found out who your friends are: yeah.... and in the process ive lost almost all of them, but I'm done trying too hard to get people to like me. I want to be invited out not just kinda sorta included but only if somebody else takes me. So yeah... long story short I found out that my friends are simply not....lol... I do still have the good ones though....

kissed someone on your facebook list: don't have facebook.... if I did it would prolly be yes though lol....

Part 5: General:

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: yeah still don't have facebook

do you have any pets: Theyre not really mine, but I live with 2 doggos

do you want to change your name: when I was little I wanted to change my name... I wanted something more pretty like rose or diamond.... but now I'm pretty happy with my name... would only change my last name if the occasion called for it....

what did you do for your last birthday: If I remember right I went to my physics class and then chilled in the empty cabin.... my boys aunt and uncle were visiting from Germany and got me a cake and a couple of presents... but on the actual day of my birthday I was pretty much alone... but birthdays are gross anyway

what time did you wake up: 1 pm lol... I'm too much of a night owl

what were you doing at midnight last night:  I was finishing my movie and playing with my phone... I wanted to snap about how the sunlight in Alaska makes fireworks a bummer for the 4th, but I was too lazy lol  

name something you can’t wait for: not having schoolwork.... I'm so glad to be done.....

when was the last time you saw your mom: may when she came up for my graduation... it wasn't too bad... she only put  me down once....

what are you listening to right now: bobs burgers.... my boys watching it

have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes.... I have a friend named tom.... we don't talk very often... but hes still my friend....

something that is getting on your nerves: my one coworker.... he pisses me off...

most visited website: tumblr.... or Netflix....

hair colour: blonde... which is kinda an ombre cause I dye it lighter and then let it grow out and then repeat so its always lightest on the bottem lol... though I'm trying to let it grow out for a bit...

do you have a crush on someone: my booooooooooooy (please read that in a super cheasy sappy sarcastic tone)

what do you like about yourself: that's a tough question... lol... But I like my ability to be stubborn... It helps me work hard to get what I want and be a better person.... and I get to prove people wrong which is great because so many people have told me that I would never really succeed because the odds were too stacked against me...

piercings: don't have any... have considered earings.. but nah....

blood type: yeah... no idea

nickname: cece ce Cebu skittles pixie.....

relationship status: dating and hopeful for the future cause this is a very good one...

zodiac: leo

pronouns: She/Her

favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls, buffy, charmed, x files.... idk I watch a lot of shows...

tattoos:  I absolutely love them... but my fear of needles and my indecisiveness mean that I don't have any nor any plans to get one... but I love henna... 

right or left handed: right handed when it comes to writing... but ambidextrous for just about anything else...

piercing: no.

sport: uuuuh I don't follow any major teams or anything... but I'm always down to watch baseball, basketball, hockey, or soccer... ill gladly play any sport but I'm sorely out of shape lol and I don't always know all the rules... football still confuses me...

vacation: everywhere lol.... but right now Germany, Ireland, las vagas, japan, or just taking time off to travel around Europe in general, are all at the top of my list.....

pair of trainers: ????? idk????

Part 6: more general :

eating: Most food is good... I will prolly die if you ever feed me spicy food tho

. drinking: water, iced tea, hot tea, coffee, some soda but not very much or very often, milk, alcohol...

I’m about to: prolly go to bed so I don't  die working the morning shift tomorrow

waiting for: it to be dark at night again lol...

want: my degree, a job that utilizes that degree, my own place.

get married: one day. ive got some time before anything happens... but I found my person....

career: Chemistry.... in Alaska.... man I'm still piecing that one together.... but environmental chemistry is super cool... and id love to work with the Alaskan environment, to keep it safe and clean and to better understand how it works

hugs or kisses: both... but mainly hugs... I'm a very touch oriented person....

lips or eyes: lips...  idk why cause I love eyes too... but I'm fascinated with how peoples lips look.... like I never understood those superhero masks that just cover their eyes because I always recognize people by their lips and how they talk

shorter or taller: taller....... when I'm around tall people I feel smaller and that makes me happy... plus like.. they can reach the shit that I cant lol...

older or younger: I'm sooo old...... not really but sometimes I feel like it so idk lol

nice arms or nice stomach: arms... always.... especially shoulders...

hook up or relationship: uh before my current relationship I was totally all for either though I focused mainly on hook ups... but now I'm content with the relationship thing....

troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker... definitely... but usually its a good thing.... I never much cared for rules...

kissed a stranger: oh yeah... many times...

drank hard liquor: yup... do it a lot... but life in Alaska....

lost glasses or contact lenses: forgot where I put them a few times... but always found them... break glasses a lot tho....

turned someone down: yeeeeah... guys usually don't respond well... I know... big surprise...

sex on the first date: yup... i love sex....

broken someone’s heart: yeah.... it was terrifying... i vaguely knew him through mutual friends and similar activities...  he asked to be my valentine when id told him that id never had one before ... valentines was about two weeks away... we saw each other for like a week... he had my entire future planned out for me... and i couldn't get passed the fact that he was 14 years older than me....  when i told him things weren't gonna work he broke down bawling.... and our mutual friends told me how bad he was after the conversation....

had your heart broken: yeah... and then toyed with... it was fuuuuuun.......

been arrested: no I'm an good kid who can do nothing wrong... and anytime ive done anything illegal i was always with people who took all the attention off of me....

cried when someone died: yeah... ive known too many people that have died....

fallen for a friend: yup... it didn't work out

Part 7: do you believe in:

yourself: Its a work in progress lol.

miracles: yes. This world is not always as terrible as the people who inhabit it...  

love at first sight: you know... i never used to believe in it... but then i met my boy and i swear to god it was like i saw the puzzle pieces of my life fall into place around me... we were pretty drunk but to this day i still cant explain why i had such a strong urge to meet this man. why i insisted that he had to play pool with us... we already had more than enough people to play... but he had to be there with us.... and from that moment on my life has just gotten better and better....

Santa Claus: I guess... more like i believe that once upon a time he exsisted....

kiss on the first date: yes... again I'm a very touch oriented person....

angels: I think theres a lot of things out there that we do not understand and we are not ment to... so yeah i think angels exist...

Part 8: Other:

current best friend’s name:

Mckenzi is my go to... but Daniel is also my best friend.... I have a few others too like maddi... but if i named everyone then id be naming like all my friends and that would make me sad because I'm too social to have such a small social group lol....

eye colour: blue....

Favourite movie: depends on my mood... but i can never really pick a favorite...

[tuberc-leo-fics]

stay, little valentine: 14 wontaek drabbles for valentines day

14 drabbles under 214 words for cafe wontaek’s 3rd annual Valentine’s Day event. See original post HERE.

see drabbles under cut

1. Alone on Valentine’s Day (214 words)

 Taekwoon sat against the wall at the ramen restaurant, huffing as he glared at all the couples giggling around mouthfuls of noodles. Singles deserved better than watching couples be couple-y on Valentine’s Day, and Taekwoon was over it already.

 When his ramen came, and let’s face it, if he was alone on Valentine’s Day, he might as well order two bowls, Taekwoon dug in, steam heating his face against the chill of the opening door.

 The man who walked in was tall, around Taekwoon’s own height, and the thing that made Taekwoon immediately like him was the fact that he didn’t come in with anyone. He did, however, sit next to Taekwoon, which was a negative.

 “Girlfriend ditch you?” the man asked suddenly, staring at the two bowls in front of Taekwoon. Taekwoon just glared at him and pulled both bowls closer, making a show of eating a huge mouthful of noodles before turning his head away.

 “Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” the man said. “I’m Wonshik, who are you?”

 “Taekwoon,” he mumbled around his noodles.

 Wonshik smiled. “I figured, since we’re the only two singles in here, we should band together. Fight the masses.”

 Taekwoon stared for a moment longer before passing his second bowl of noodles to Wonshik.

 “I like how you think.”

   2. A long-awaited return (214 words)

 Taekwoon bit at the edges of his nails, tearing bits of skin off while he tapped his foot, concentrating hard on the doors in front of him. Wonshik had been gone for three weeks, working with artists in LA and helping with the recording of an album, and Taekwoon missed his husband. Immensely.

 His plane had supposedly landed half an hour ago, but there was still no sign of any of the passengers making their way to baggage claim, and no text from Wonshik saying that he had made it through customs, even though he promised he would.

 “Excuse me, sir,” he felt a tap on his shoulder accompanied by a deep voice. Taekwoon whipped around and through his arms around the man, clutching at his back.

 “I’ve missed you,” Wonshik whispered in his ear, hugging him even tighter. “I recognized your back from across the airport. As soon as I spotted you, I power-walked over here.” He pulled back from Taekwoon and gave him a large smile. “Seriously, never again.”

 Taekwoon nodded and sniffed a little, holding back his feelings at seeing his husband again. “Let’s get you home.”

 He grabbed Wonshik’s hand and pulled him toward the exit. It took them two minutes to realize they left his luggage on the carousel.

   3. Cupid & his target (213 words)

 Wonshik has always believed in true love, and always believed that everyone deserves to find that one person who would make them happy for the rest of their life. Looking back on this now, that might be why he became a cupid upon his death.

 “Jung Taekwoon,” Wonshik murmured to himself, squinting at the next name in his Cupid Book. “And he’s currently… in a bar. Good.” He teleported himself to the outside of the bar, making sure not be seen by any mortals, then quickly stepped inside.

 Wonshik instantly zeroed in on the piano player playing the live music, his head bent forward to squint at the music in front of him. His immediate thought was that those cheekbones could kill a man, and his second thought was more than just a thought, it was an intense feeling he could almost drown in. Desire.

 Without meaning to, Wonshik found his feet taking him to the bar, coming behind the man as he took a break for some water. His hand reached out on its own and gently touched Taekwoon’s shoulder, who jumped slightly as he turned.

 “Hello?” he asked, his voice soft.

 Wonshik licked his lips. “You-you play beautifully.”

 “Thanks,” he received a shy smile in return.

 I’m doomed, Wonshik thought. Doomed.

   4. Arts and crafts together (212 words)

 “Why did we decide this was a good idea again?” Taekwoon asked, his paintbrush in one hand and a glass filled to the top with wine in the other. He squinted at the person at the front of the room demonstrating how to mix the paint for the exact shade required for the leaves. Taekwoon looked back at his painting and sighed. His tree looked nothing like a tree.

 “Come on, it’s fun!” Wonshik said, nudging him slightly with his elbow as he added a little more brown paint to the green. “Besides, it was my turn deciding what to do for our date night. I’ve missed art. I used to be quite good, you know?”

 Taekwoon rolled his eyes and took up his paintbrush again, mixing the paint with his brush until the bristles were entirely soaked, making Wonshik wince.

 “Taekwoon,” he started, grabbing his boyfriend’s wrist. “You’re doing it wrong. You’re only supposed to get the tip wet.” Wonshik stopped talking at the accidental innuendo. “Nevermind,” he mumbled to himself.

 “Sorry,” Taekwoon said, taking a big gulp of wine. “I just suck.” He then proceeded to paint the worst leaves imaginable.

 At the end of the date, when they were back home, Wonshik proudly hung both paintings on the wall.

   5. Put your heart into it! Literally. (214 words)

 “Are you ready?” Wonshik asked quietly as they stood, hand-in-hand, in front of the swinging doors of the hospital. Taekwoon nodded once, gaze determined as they strode inside, hands still firmly clasped. They walked up to the desk in the waiting room and stood, frozen, waiting for the nurse to notice them.

 “How can I help you?” she asked, peering over her glasses at the two of them. They glanced at each other.

 “Um…” Taekwoon started before gathering up his courage. “We are here for our appointment with Dr. Hwang for our half-heart transfer.”

 The nurse nodded and called someone on the phone. It wasn’t long before a doctor came to see them. They both put on hospital gowns and sat quietly, still gripping hands, until the doctor came back in, carrying two clipboards.

 “Now,” he said, “I know you have already signed a bunch of paperwork, but this is one last thing you have to go through before we can get on with the surgery.”

 The doctor didn’t need to tell them twice before they read and signed the papers, hearts beating faster with thoughts of what was to come.

 “I can’t wait for part of me to be with you forever,” Wonshik whispered to Taekwoon as they were fixed with IVs.

 “Same.”

   6. Accidental Valentines (211 words)

 Somehow, every year since debut, they found themselves spending February 14th alone, together. Usually it was in the company building, where Wonshik would find Taekwoon in his own workroom, practicing the piano or composing, headphones secure around his head. One year it was in the dorm, when a bad snowstorm encouraged the two to stay inside while the other four had a schedule. They watched a movie together then went back to doing their own thing.

 “Here,” Taekwoon said, thrusting a box toward Wonshik, who just looked at him over his laptop with a raised eyebrow. “This is for you.”

 “You know it’s not my birthday until tomorrow, right Taekwoon-hyung?” he asked. “I mean, you’re not that old yet.”

 Taekwoon’s cheeks just pinked and he put his hands in his pockets once Wonshik had grabbed the box. “Just open it.”

 Wonshik did, pulling on the ribbon that was tied artfully, unlike anything Taekwoon could do normally. He opened the box and glanced up, confused.

 “We’ve spent the past 5 Valentine’s Days accidentally spending time together without anyone else,” Taekwoon said toward the floor. “I figured I might as well…” he trailed off.

 Wonshik just smiled and plopped a chocolate into his mouth.

 “Sure, hyung,” Wonshik said, teasingly. “I’ll be your Valentine.”

   7. A Valentine’s Day confession/proposal (214 words)

 “Do you know what day it is today?” Wonshik asked Taekwoon as they were eating dinner. Whenever they had time, around their busy work schedules, they would try and cook and eat together.

 “It’s Valentine’s Day,” Taekwoon deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

 “Yes,” Wonshik said, slapping at Taekwoon’s hand as he reached over for some of the food on his plate, “but it’s also our 2000th day together. Coincidentally.”

 “Yes, I know,” Taekwoon said, raising an eyebrow. “And what’s your point? It’s just another day. We didn’t do anything for our 100th day, or our 500th day, or 1000th, or any other big milestones.”

 “Yeah, yeah, I get it, we suck. But come on, 2000 days is huge.”

 “So what do you want to do?” Taekwoon asked. “We have, oh let’s see, 4 hours left in the day and we are both homebodies. We don’t like to do anything.”

 “Let’s get married,” Wonshik said quickly.

 Taekwoon just raised an eyebrow. “I think all the government buildings are closed by this point of the day.”

 Wonshik blinked in surprise. “You aren’t going to say anything else?” he asked.

 “No, let’s get married,” Taekwoon replied. “Obviously not today, but soon. Definitely soon.”

 Wonshik leaned over and planted a kiss on Taekwoon’s lips.

 “Love you.”

 “Love you more.”

   8. Serenade Me, my Valentine (212 words)

 “You know,” Wonshik said, linking his arm through Taekwoon’s as they walked through the door of their apartment building, “There are only, let’s see, 25 minutes left of Valentine’s Day, and I still have yet to hear you sing for me.”

 Taekwoon brought up a hand and patted his cheek several times, the last one a little closer to a slap. “I never promised you anything like that.” He gripped the skin on his boyfriend’s cheek and tugged slightly. Wonshik retaliated by licking his hand.

 “You said last night that you hadn’t bought me a gift for Valentine’s and that you would do whatever I wanted, and I want you to sing for me.”

 Taekwoon groaned and unlinked their arms. “Can’t I just do that tomorrow?”

 “Stop,” Wonshik said, slapping him lightly in the stomach. “Besides, tomorrow is my birthday and I expect a different present then. Come on, Taekwoon,” he said, staring at him in a jokingly sensual way as he licked his lips. “Serenade me.”

 “Row, row, row your boat gently down the-” he was cut off by Wonshik’s lips and a strong tap to the side of his hip.

 “Anything else,” he said, laughing. Taekwoon leaned in for one more kiss before starting again, this time getting it right.

   9. A ruined Valentine’s day (214 words)

 “What… is this?” Taekwoon asked, standing in their destroyed kitchen. There were pots and pans everywhere, and not an inch of the counter or table was clear. There was also an undefinable splat of some kind of food on the wall that used to be white, but now looked brown with how much it had smeared when it had attempted to have been wiped away.

 “I’m so sorry, babe,” Wonshik replied from where he was, laying on the floor. “I really tried to clean this up before you got home, but then I got distracted and I couldn’t clean the stain off the walls and this is our new apartment and we won’t get our deposit back and then I started panicking and-” he cut himself off when Taekwoon sat on his stomach leaning forward for a kiss.

 “It’s okay, Wonshik,” he said when he pulled back. “I’ll clean.”

 “No, Taekwoon, it’s okay. I’ll clean it up. It’s Valentine’s Day and I was trying to make you dinner, and chocolate, because you always do all the cooking around here and you love chocolate, but I… suck,” Wonshik said, pouting. “Sorry.”

 Taekwoon just leaned down for another kiss. “Come on,” he said. “Get up and I’ll order take-out. We can clean this all up later.”

   10. A forbidden love (213 words)

 The first time Kim Wonshik, high warlock of Jamsil-dong, laid eyes on Jung Taekwoon, he didn’t even notice the marks on his skin signifying he was a shadowhunter; he noticed his intense eyes and the strength in his body as he moved across the room, bow trained on a demon. Now that he thinks back on it, that probably should have given it away. And oh yeah, he found him ridiculously attractive.

 Shadowhunters and warlocks, historically, didn’t get along. The shadowhunter community never approved of any downworlder, even if they worked with the clave without complaint. But Taekwoon, and his parabatai Hakyeon, and the other young adults in the Seoul institute didn’t seem to have the same prejudices as the older generation.

 “Would you like to come over for drinks sometime?” Wonshik asked, having worked up the courage for weeks just to ask one simple question.

 Taekwoon gave a small smile before glancing back at the other shadowhunters who were still cleaning the street of evidence of any battle that had just occurred.

 “Yes… I would like that. But…”

 “I understand,” Wonshik said. “For now, it’s a secret.”

 Taekwoon gave him another smile, a little wider this time, and turned back to his duties. Wonshik grinned to himself as he portaled back home.

   11. Secret love letters (214 words)

 Taekwoon sighed when he looked in his locker, finding the 8th note that month stuffed between his notebook and his shoes. He grabbed it tight in his hand while he slipped on his shoes, making sure to toss it in the garbage on his way out of the school.

 It’s not that he didn’t like Valentine’s Day, he just didn’t like secret admirers, thinking that people should just confess their love. Not that he ever would, as he was gay as anything and didn’t want to ask someone out and find out that they were straight and a douchebag who would then proceed to out him to the entire school. Besides, he just wanted to focus on playing soccer.

 When Valentine’s Day actually came around, Taekwoon was very happy to find that there was nothing in his locker, even if he was a little upset there wasn’t any free chocolate from his admirer.

 “Hey, Taekwoon-hyung,” a voice called from behind.

 “Yeah?” he asked while turning, Wonshik coming up to him from behind.

 “Here,” Wonshik said, thrusting out a small box. “I figured I should give these to you myself instead of just putting it in your locker. You like chocolate, right?”

 Taekwoon nodded as he took the chocolates.

 “So, are you free this Saturday?”

   12. A very scary Valentine’s Day (213 words)

 Wonshik knew he shouldn’t have let his friends convince him to do this. A night alone in an abandoned house was enough to make even the bravest of people wet their pants, and Wonshik was a coward. But, a promise was a promise and he couldn’t back out now.

 The first four hours went by quickly. Wonshik played on his phone and ignored the creaking of the house, and the loud wind. However on the fifth hour mark, things started to go wrong.

 It started with his phone suddenly going blank and restarting, which was accompanied by a soft voice singing. At first, Wonshik assumed it was coming from his phone, that he accidentally pressed play when fumbling his phone, but that thought quickly left his head when he remembered his phone was in the process of rebooting. That’s when he started to panic.

 “Hello?” he asked warily, voice barely above a whisper. “Is anyone there?”

 The singing stopped abruptly and after a few moments the soft voice spoke back. “Can you… can you hear me?”

 “Yeah, where are you?”

 Suddenly a form appeared in front of him, and Wonshik screamed, startling the man who just appeared.

 “No, no, it’s okay, my name is Taekwoon. Who are you?”

 “I’m Wonshik.”

 The man smiled.

   13. “Dance with me?” (214 words)

 Wonshik held his hand out, a smirk set across his face.

 “Dance with me?” he asked Taekwoon, who just rolled his eyes back into his head, snorting not so elegantly. But he stood up anyway, grabbing the hand.

 “Just letting you know that if it wasn’t required by basically everyone here tonight,” Taekwoon started, grabbing onto Wonshik’s waist, “I would just stay seated here, sulking.”

 Wonshik laughed before kissing him deeply, smirking at the slightly dazed look in Taekwoon’s eyes when he pulled back.

 “Come on,” he said, leaning toward Taekwoon’s ear. “It is our wedding, after all. Our moms would kill us if we didn’t dance at least once.”

 “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Taekwoon asked before he leaned his head on the shoulder in front of him, both arms circling around his husband’s waist.

 They stood there for a while, softly moving in time to the music. Eventually, other people joined them on the dance floor, their moves a little more excited than the newly married couple’s. After a few songs, they made their way off the dance floor and walked around the room, hand-in-hand, trying to thank all their guests for coming.

 “One last dance?” Wonshik asked when their guests started leaving, the hour late.

 Taekwoon smiled. “Of course.”

   14. February 15th: The Aftermath (212 words)

 “Who… are you?” Wonshik asked the man in his bed blankly. The last thing he remembered was his (ex-) girlfriend slapping him when he said he wasn’t planning on proposing to her, and she left him alone at the bar. At no point does he remember meeting this man.

 The man gave him a soft smile. “My name’s Taekwoon. I figured you’d be a bit confused this morning, but I couldn’t just leave you alone when you were so drunk…” he trailed off and mumbled a bit.

 “Did we… sleep together?” Wonshik asked, voice going a little high at the end. The man – Taekwoon – rubbed at his nose a little and grimaced.

 “Yeah, sorry, I was pretty drunk too and I don’t think we made great decisions, but hopefully I can make this up to you?” he asked. “I made you food.”

 “Thanks, I guess,” Wonshik said before he got his first good look of the man. He was handsome, and honestly exactly Wonshik’s type. He could tell why he decided to go home with him.

 “You can stay, Taekwoon,” he spoke up suddenly. “We can get to know each other.”

 Taekwoon left three days later with a new number programmed in his phone and a new boyfriend to call his own.

Loved writing these, hope you all enjoy them. Happy wontaek valentines.

[wiltking]

1 hi wilt. im starting university soon and everyones so excited but im trans and im dreading it more than anything. im trying to get inclusive housing but theyre not making it easy and i realized im going to have to debate with them on the phone several times in order to even begin to convince them to do this. and they still might not. i have crippling phone anxiety, i get choked up making phone calls to ask store hours so idk how ill do this. and on top of that in order to get inclusive (cont)

housing and to get my name/gender changed in the records i need my parents permission, parents who have been denying my gender for years despite me explicitly telling them im trans over and over. and hrt doesnt look like its gonna happen anytime in the next couple of years. im such a wreck and i really just dont want to deal with this. society makes being trans so fucking hard like it just punishes us even though we didnt do anything wrong. anyway i just wanted to let you know that your blog makes me feel better bc it lets me know that im not the only one fighting the system. sometimes society almost convinces me that im being stupid and ridiculously demanding and i should just give in and kill myself bc im not obviously not wanted. but then i remember that people like you are out there. its comforting to know that not everyone hates me just because of who i am. and your art is so incredible and i love the representation and trans positivity. it has inspired me to make my own trans ocs and i found that it really helped make things more bearable to have characters like me to write and draw and dream about. keep up the good work and i hope one day things work out for the both of us. i apologize for being long winded and venting, i just wanted to get my feelings out and let you know how grateful i am for the work you put into this community

hi anon, sorry for taking a little while to reply. this just hit me in a number of ways and i didnt know what to say. ive definitely heard horror stories about universities disrespecting trans students. it really does suck. i hope you wont be the first trans person thats requested housing and they have some experience with it... but if they continue to refuse, maybe you can make a fuss about it. file some kind of complaint. because you deserve better. sometimes it works, sometimes not. maybe you’ll be able to pave the way to make things better for trans students who come after you. 

i dont have much experience with that kind of thing though. i was out when i went to college but.. quietly. instead of requesting a name change on the records i would email my professors and request to use my correct name in their classes. it wasnt ideal but it was all i was brave enough to do at the time. because ive had so many horrible experiences with telling people im trans, i automatically assume bad things will happen. but i think ive already experienced the worst possible things from my home life, so now im somewhat jaded. and have the ability to be way more assertive. because whats the worst that can happen? something ive already lived through and survived? bring it on. it awful but i know i can deal with it. 

and yknow, sometimes people are decent. yesterday i got my name changed on my drivers license and the nice lady at the dmv told me what i had to do to change my gender marker (even though i told her i wasnt doing that yet). so i think not all hope is lost for us folks. its true i feel hopeless 98% of the time but i think its always worth it to try our best. sometimes that means taking matters into your own hands and demanding certain treatment, and other times it means gritting your teeth and putting up with a bad situation for a few years. i wish i had more positive things to say here but it sounds like you know how ive been through the wringer. im wishing you all the best with your university situation though. let me know how it goes? i also have atrocious phone anxiety and have to call my insurance tomorrow about covering my transition this year so we’ll both be suffering :’)

ive heard trans people on hrt say that the time spent pre-hrt will seem like nothing once you get the goods, and i find that hard to believe. ive known hrt was right for me since i was 14/15 and i still wont be on it by the time im 20. the only upside to having to wait so long is that my need for it is absolutely solidified. my mom has fed doubt into my head for these entire 5 years but the jokes on her i still want it! and im getting it this year no matter what! the #1 thing that really got me through to this point was focusing on my own completed goals, no matter how small. things like buying my first pair of men’s pants, telling a friend i was trans for the first time, requesting hrt from my doc when i was like 16 (i got turned down, but the point is i tried), and every time i stand up for myself is a victory. i wont lie to you, its extremely shitty to have to wait so long for treatment, but there are still little things you can do. 

im also super glad youre making trans ocs!! thats absolutely my #1 way to cope and process gender shit. its literally like therapy for me. really glad to know its helping you too. sorry this got so long; last thing i want to say is that anything bad or difficult that happens to you will make you stronger. 

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

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I haven't had any health insurance in a year. My husband can add me to his health insurance in Dec. Baby is due on March. Will they cover me? I live in SC and I am worried they will have a long waiting period. What should I do. We make too much for Government help.

What does my comprehensive and my collision deductible have to do with my car loan?

I just received a letter from Capital One Auto Finance saying that my new insurance policy is inadequate. I upped the comprehensive and collision deductible from $500 to $2500, which saves me over $400 dollars a month. According to Capital One, this is too high and has to be lowered back down to $1000 or less. But I would sooner become an employee at the Bunny Ranch, before I pay a $600 monthly car insurance bill and a $365 car note. Hell, I would have to become an employee at the Bunny Ranch if I had to pay a $600 monthly car insurance bill and a $365 car note. I feel like as long as I'm giving Capital One their money, my deductible should have nothing to do with them.""

What is a good health insurance for age 19 and up?

at the moment i am 18 but will be turning 19 in 10 days...and i was wondering what is a good health insurance to apply to. i have Anthem Blue Cross Healthy Families. I am looking for something similar or almost similar...if someone could please help me. thank you soo much. ps if this helps i live in california....thank you again!!

I got car insurance and it allows me to drive other peoples cars on my insurance?

if i were to buy another car, 2nd car will i be able to drive that without registering to any insruance company? i wont be selling my 1st car, it will still have the insruance, and the insruance it has allows me to drive other cars, but im not sure if the other cars also need insurance from a company""

Would abortion be commonplace and covered by insurance if men got pregnant?

I think it would be.

Why is my car insurance so expensive? Give me a GOOD reason why.?

I have my driving test tomorrow, looking forward to it, but car insurance for a car which is worth 200, the car insurance comes from 2500 - 4000. Why on earth does it come to this??!! Insurance companies are all sharks. No wonder so many people are uninsured.""

Insurance costs on a Range Rover?

I'm only 14 right now but since I am a massive car fan I have already come up with a selection of cars. Most definetly euuropean though. My idea was the 3.5 litre that Land Rover had in the Range Rooney (Top Gear reference) I hear insurace is higher for SUV's and convertibles. I think a Rage Rover could be good for practicality, and even though they are slightly unreliable I was thinking put in a new engine. But I also had ideas for a used Mercedes SL hardtop (if they had any). I also like the VW beetle (original). I would think my budget would likely be $4000-5000. I just remembered I also wanted a 1997-99 Jaguar XJ long wheeelbase. So if u can please make a suggestion for a European car with 6 cylinders or more preferebly British or German and tryy adding what insurance might be pllease. Thank you.""

What is the average monthly insurance cost for a Box Truck or Commercial Vehicle?

I'd rather not give any companies my personal information, so can anyone give me an monthly estimate for box truck insurance?""

Did you know that Geico could save you 15% or more on car insurance?

Did you know that Geico could save you 15% or more on car insurance?

Should I switch to a $20/month health insurance plan?

Alright, I have health insurance through my employer and I pay over $100/month. My friend has an individual policy and only pays $20/month. He thinks I should switch to have the same health insurance as him. What's the catch? Should I change health insurance policies?""

My Insurance auto accident settlement?

I was recently in a car accident where a Nissan truck ran into the back of another car that then ran into the back of me causing $2000 worth of damage to the rear of my infiniti. I received moderate whiplash to my neck and had to be taken to the hospital. I checked out without any broken bones and was prescribed medication. I went to see a chiropractor and he has been working on my neck for a couple days which makes it feel a better. Im 100% not at fault and the insurance company has taken care of my car repair, rental, and medical bills. They ask me How much do I think I want for this accident for pain and suffering. I believe I am entitled to at least $3500-5000 for my suffering I live in NC. I believe $5000 is a reasonable consider the circumstances. I could have lost my life, broke my neck and been paralyzed for life. Thank the lord that I received only a whiplash. The stress that I am undergoing, the constant pain in my neck is a reminder of the accident, which I feel fearful of driving. The time I spent recovering could have been spent enjoying my life. Besides getting behind in my school work, I am absent from my student organization at school which I am a key figure ( president AGC). I don't enjoy waking up with cramps and headaches nor do I like to take prescription pills, and therapy. I don't want to be compensation a insufficient amount that wont even cover pain and suffering I went though. It seems like you people are on the side of the insurance company and not the victims in this situation. I wonder if any of you have ever been in an automobile accident and if you have must share some sort of empathy of what I am reiterating.""

About how much will insurance increase if you lightly rear end a car but you just got your license at 16?

Someone i know has Geico insurance and turned sixteen in August. He got his license a few months ago and really lightly rear ended a car today. I mean you cant even tell its hit unless you analyze the back. So about how much do you think the insurance will go up?

How much does car insurance cost for 17 years old driver?

My parents have their policy from travelers and i tried getting quote online. What it showed for 2002 NISSAN MAXIMA that i have to pay 600 for month and for liability insurance 450 I think thats wrong information because my friend is 16 and pay 186 for 2 full coverage insurance and one liability. Any one had experience or know some information about 17 year old insurance rates please help me. THANK YOU.

""My friend backed his motorcycle into my car, who's insurance covers it?""

My friend backed his motorcycle out not paying attention and backed into the side of my car leaving 3 deep scratches from the pegs on the side of the bike. Also, the bike and the car were in his driveway. He does not have insurance on the bike, but we both have liability on our cars. How do we go about getting this issue resolved?""

Car insurance for another person?

Hey guys, so I'm gonna get a car soon. I turned 18 back in January. My mom is going to buy me a car soon, but only if the insurance isn't that high. So, seeing as I really want the car I have in mind, I need to know some things about car insurance. My mom has gotten into an accident before also, plus the car in mind is a sports car. A Nissan 350z to be exact. So my question is, can I get insurance for that car even though it's under her name? I've never gotten into an accident before, and plan to get my license soon. Thanks!""

""My Daughter starting driving lessons, { she 17 } where is the cheapest place for insurance for when she pass?""

I drive , could she go on my insurance ? would that go up? I have 7 years no claims. Thanks .""

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 16 year old male?

I wanted to buy a klr650 or drz400 but im worried about insurance cost and if i could afford it. Also will it affect my family's insurance and raise it?

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Does the official DMV website offer a free point insurance reduction program?

my friend recently complete an online 6 hour class to reduce his insurance rates by 10%. he told me the class was free and that he found it from the dmv official website. but when i go on the website, it only directs me to classes from private companies that aren't free. does the dmv website offer a Point Insurance Reduction Program (PIRP)??? http://www.dmv.ny.gov/broch/c32a.htm thanks!!!""

Insurance adjusters?

I'm looking for a school in southern california that offers training in insurance adjusting. i'm trying to obtain my license in california and want to take a course

""Im 19 with a permit, can I register my car and insure it? Price Estimation?""

First I have a 1999 Acura Integra...I believe over 100,000 miles...no driver side airbag, no alarm system YET...and its fast...BUT I drive safe...I dont believe in street racing because It claims to many lives, especially innocent ones such as families that are not even involved with the idiots racing... Im 19 with a learners permit, have wayyyy over 4 yrs driving experience, I plan to get my license this month [or this week], as I just got my permit today, can I register my car and insure it? What would an estimated price be for... 1. My Registration and Tag [whats better temporary or permanent for now? 2. Insurance [Who should I go to for insurance?!] Thanks""

How much will car insurance give me for my totaled car?

made a bad decision basically and after losing control and flipping into a pole im left wondering what I'll get for my car. 2000 honda accord ex coupe 3 liter v6 83000 miles leather powered seats moon roof etc...

Motorcycle Registration Cost?

So I bought a 2004 GS500F yesterday with a Stage 1 Dyno Jet kit. Ive got my insurance and everything figured out, I'm just wondering how much it will be to register it? I live in Valdosta, Ga""

Insurance or no insurance?

My husband told me he wants out. We have been married for a long time. He doesn't want to tell anyone and he keeps saying he is leaving but he's not. (I don't want him to go so that part is fine.) My problem is my company has been our families insurance, I pick up the premium through payroll deduction. Now is the time to make any changes and I only have til the first of July to do this until next year. Should I drop his coverage and let him fend for himself or do I just keep paying for the family plan as always.""

How much is a car and everything for a 17yo?

How much is a car, insurance, lessons, test, tax etc.... Everything! For a 17 year old Guy. Just for a cheap second hand car ie. Peugeot 106 (second hand) But how much will it all come to? Thanks""

Employer health insurance?

When you have employer health insurance is there a waiting period for maturnity coverage to start?

What would be the best/cheapest place to get moped insurance through?

I live in Edmonton, Alberta and I just bought a little 50cc Honda Jazz to use to commute to work with. I can't seem to find online quotes so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on a good place to go to for reasonably priced insurance for the moped. Also, would I have to pay for a whole year up front or could I pay month-to-month?""

What is the best source to compare the insurance costs for all model of cars and trucks?

I am looking for a list that has the average insurance rates for different model of cars. I need makes and models listed all together in a single source, and don't have the time to compare just 3 or four models at a time, nor go on line and check out one at a time. I need something in a spreadhsheet, or that I can cut and paste into a spreadsheet.""

Making 40k a yearm take home 2500 monthly after taxes and insurance. How much rent can I afford?

Can I afford 750 amonth making 40k a year? I have a car note of 300, cell phone, car insurance no credit card debt. It's really nice and I've looked it has black appliances, ...show more""

Why would the insurance companies be against the affordable healthcare act?

Why is this new healthcare law suppose to do and why are the insurance companies against it for.

""I'm under GEICO in NJ. If every member of the family is insured, how much cheaper w/ safe driving course?

Three members in the family. How much cheaper will insurance get if we all take the Safe-Driving Course?

Does anyone know how much insurance would be on a Toyota Celica ?

This is in ireland but england cant be that different. I would be a new driver and only 17 years old and it would be by myself (not a named driver). And I'm a girl if that would change anything. Thanks xx

How much would i pay for car Insurance?

How much would i pay for car Insurance for cheap car that cost me honda accord 2000,I am 25 Years old, never been in any accident,I got my license 7 years ago""

Car Insurance for teens.?

What car insurance will give a 15 year old car insurance for a sports car?

How much does a million dollar insurance policy cost?

I was intersted in buying a million dollar insurance policy. How much would that cost me? I make about 65 thounsand a yr. Any ideas/

State Farm Full coverage Auto Insurance?

Ive been with mu current insurance company for about 5 years now. My policy will be ending soon. I have a good driving record except for one speeding ticket back in 2009. Im proud to ...show more

Insurance company have sold My car without my consent / pay out? what can i do?

My car has been written off by the insurance company back in January and i have not still been paid out due to me not agreeing with the offer. They have submitted me evidence justifying their offer but this was current market value and not prior. I have referred this matter to the finanical services ombudsman who are still investigating (long wait as they go by order of complaints received). I have just found out the insurance company have sold my car off to a salvage company who have sold it to another individual. What can i do? what is my legal standing point? can i claim against the insurance company? can i claim my car back? I am still in receipt of the V5, keys, service booklet and receipts for the car. I have not signed over ownership or given the insurance company concent to sell the car. I have assumed to date that the car is in storage at the repair garage. I have still to recieve full agreed final settlement for the car from the insurance company. HELP!!!!""

How do the payment work if a bunch of people are being sued by a auto insurance company?

1 insurance company is suing another insurance company, and 6 people. If the 1 insurance company wins how do they split of the amount sued for? If they do at all... I need answers please""

Cheapest car insurance rates for older car/no record/liability only?

hi- if anyone knows chespest company, i did a online quote for progressive, but dont want to take the time to go through all companies. if anyone knows cheapest rates-company, please let me know""

Average cost of insurance?

what would be the average cost of insurance for a 16 year old male in georgia with an 09 mustang? with a honda accord? with a dodge ram? i guess really with a safe new sports car (cause the new mustangs are 5 star in all but one thing where they hav a 4 star in safety), with a new sedan, and with a new truck? thanks. and also how much might taking extra classes help lower the insurance? i mean defensive driving classes. and would being an eagle scout help any? i really don't know so im just thinking of things that might help. thanks""

""Where can i find out when my home was built, for insurance purposes. uk?

Just needed for home insurance quotes.

Do you need to have car insurance of your own to rent a car?

I don't have a car right now so I don't have insurance, will I need to get insurance to rent a car? In Canada""

How much would a 1995 dodge dakota be roughly for insurance?

i was going to tailgate off of my parents insurance (i just got my lecense and i wanna pay what my parents pay til the dmv tells my insurance company) both of my parents have a clean driving record and have been on the road for 30 years. i just wonder how much insurance would ROUGHLY be

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Can i get full coverage insurance with a suspended drivers license?

Can i get full coverage insurance with a suspended drivers license?

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

How can a medical group charge different prices for people with insurance and no insurance and medicare?

is this legal to charge people with medicare a higher price to go to the Doctor than people that don't have medicare, I thought that medical groups are to charge less so medicare don't go broke and people with insurance, so there monthly don't go up higher""

I'm 20 from London what insurance companies will let my 17 year old brother be on my policies?

Me and my 17 year old brother want to buy a 50cc gilera dna 1 for me and 1 for him. I have a full UK drivers licence and revived insurance quotes for around 400 a year......where as my brothers cheapest. Quote was 550 a year. He doesn't have any sort of licence but was hoping to get a scooter license this coming January's. So the question is would he be able to be put on my insurance policies I'm 20?? And what insurance companies will do that? Thanks ;).

When will my motorcycle insurance lower?

i live in florida im going to start riding soon probly start out on a ninja 650r but i wana move up 2 a zx14 after a while(my dream bike) but the insurance is nuts on it like 800 a month now on the 14 the 650 is like 120 with amazing insurance and 250 deductables when will my insurance drop? does it go by age or experience?

Will it be more expensive to get health insurance in January?

When I did my income tax they said starting 2014 there gonna start charging a penalty fee for not having health insurance I'm looking for some right now but I'm not working right now and my employer dosent provide insurance so I was thinking in January when I start working Will it be more expensive because there's like a lot deadlines for insurance right now in December

Where should I go for medical and financial aid?

I've lived w. my mother all my life and gradually she has gotten more and more unorganized leading to disgusting living conditions. I have always kept my room together and received good grades to move on and out of my mothers house. In 2008 during my first week of college , I was diagnosed with a disease called Lupus. I was removed from the Boston College campus and forced to take time off of school. Since this, my return to school has been an long and difficult process. I am now 20 cooping well with the disease and attending night school. I have very little income and I was denied SSI as well as state insurance. As I am in the process of reapplying I find it hard to remain in my mothers living conditions in that no matter how I keep my things separate I have still accumulated unsanitary conditions. I dont know where to go for help and I am afraid of the stress I am experiencing causing me another flare and long hospital visit. I live in Rhode Island and have tried the welfare and community health care route. The only success I receive is hospital health care and a few doctors who are willing to discount my mandatory visits. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that is keeping me health is my faith and religion. As my relationship with God grows stronger I also find my self stuck in my situation. I know I would do well living on my own and getting into a regular routine I would just need a small boost of medical and financial support through any means available in the area. Any suggestions will help :) God Bless.""

Is my insurance company liable?

My insurance company offered me a policy to cover a de restricted scooter which I agreed to take out, but in order for this policy to take effect I had to give up 4 months of cover totalling around 160 and pay a 80 deposit on the new policy. Last week I was sent a letter notifying me that my insurance was cancelled so I called them and was told that I had to return a copy of my CBT certificate. I rang on Sunday and was told a completely different story and that was that the company they placed me with had decided that they were not going to cover me even though the whole point of changing them was because they specificity dealt with my type of vehicle . They have now offered another policy for 515 pounds with is 100 pounds more than my previous and I am not willing to pay this as they lied to me and told me that I was insured to ride around even though they knew that I was not covered. I have copies of the insurance certificate to prove that they sold me the policy and all other relating documents. Please advise on what I can do.""

Can you insure 2 cars with different insurance companies and have the no claims bonus on both cars?

Can you insure 2 cars with different insurance companies and have the no claims bonus on both cars?

Will I be able to drive my mom's car without my name on the insurance?

I live in Canada, and I am listed under my dad's insurance on his car as an occasional driver, but not my moms because it is more costly. My parents are on vacation and left me both vehicles. My dad's car won't start, so I need to drive my mom's to get to and from work. Will I be okay to drive it even if I'm not listed as an occasional driver on her car, but I am on my dads? They both have the same car insurance company""

Pulled over with no insurance in my friends car?

last night i got pulled over in my friends car and i got citation for having expired insurance since he hadnt payed it how do i pay this off?

""Bought a new car, but now is too expensive. How do I trade in for a cheaper car?""

I bought a 2013 Ford Focus S, I love it but its starting to cost me alot. I still owe 18,800 on it. I make about 1300/mo Car payment is $320/mo Insurance is $230/mo And I have a few other bills.. So it leaves me like $150 for 2 weeks every paycheck. Which, isn't enough. I want a Wrangler, and I found great prices on then and insurance believe it for not is cheaper on it, but the problem is.. Is the equity on the trade in. I made a mistake on this car, and now.. Really I'm trying to get rid of it as soon as possible, so I can start saving for my Wrangler. What do you suggest I do? Thanks. (by the way, I'm 19 and in the Navy)""

""Flipped over my car, how much will insurance be now?""

I'm 16, I got in a big car accident.. I flipped over my car twice. Fortunately, I was untouched and I was the only one involved. Naturally, I was taken off the insurance policy and lost my car. Before, I had the good student discount so we paid $350 for half a year as a full time driver. How much would I have to pay to be a full time driver now after the accident? My dad said $2000 for a full year but it can't be that much? Will they strip me of my good student discount? How much will it cost to be put on as a part time driver now? Will it go down after a year? Will the insurance go up a lot? It won't go up as much as it would otherwise since I was the only one involved and there was no property damage, right? I don't understand how it could happen to me, I'm a model student, I have straight A pluses in all advanced and AP classes and I was even following the law when I had my accident. =/""

Can a ticket for no insurance be reduced?

Friend of mine got a ticket for no insurance 9 yrs ago.....i know long time......but after all this time is there anyway a good lawyer can.get the ticket reduced to a lesser one?

Insurance on bentley?

I got a bentley continental already and I want to know were Is the best place for bentley insurance before/soon as I turn 18 next year jan.

Car insurance trying to be cheap on repairs?

I was recently in a car accident. The other driver T boned me and he's at fault. I have my car towed to a certified BMW repair shop. The insurance adjuster assessed my car and approve the repairs.I later found out that they are going to repair my car with piece meal parts from used car from a junk yard. Half a door and part of the frame will be welded. Is this acceptable? BMW said it will not fit there standards but it is what the insurance paid for. Is the insurance trying to cheat me or is this standard practice? Do I have any say on this? Should I get a lawyer?

How much do you pay for your auto insurance per year?

Is it true that the more expensive your car is, the insurance will automatically go up, too? Isn't the older car need more insurance cover since they are more easy to get into accident? I don't know much about auto insurance, so you can share some of your knowledge would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! =D""

What would be the cheapest insurance company for a 125cc motorbike?

i am a 17 male living in the uk.

Can i get insurance with a temporary license?

i'm here in cali but i failed my behind the wheel test but they gave me a temporary license to drive all by myself. can i still get insurance?

Anybody know of low cost health care in AZ?

I have a sister in AZ who has diabetes, high BP, retinal detachment, and something going on with her woman parts. She is 48, menopausal, and has no health insurance. Her medications are making she and her hubby quite short on $. He doesn't have med. through work. Disability does'nt help. He makes too much for public assistance. Any ideas?""

How much is a Car for a 17yo?

How much is a car, insurance, lessons, test, tax etc.... Everything! For a 17 year old Guy. Just for a cheap second hand car ie. Peugeot 106 (second hand) But how much will it all come to? Thanks""

23 & Auto Insurance...never had any in my name?

ok, so i haven't gotten my new vehicle yet. I won one through the company i work for. I will be getting my new ride in about 6-10wks. Cheverlot Equinox 2010. I have never had car insurance in my name, my dad always took care of this kind of stuff for me. well since this car will be in my name, i was wondering do alot of the insurance companies go based on your credit score? i don't have good credit at all and worried my rates will be very high. I would like some companies listed that you know is cheap but also has discounts for my age with kids. I have 3 kids and i am 23, someone told me State Farm will give me a discount for my kids. Anyone heard of this? Or any other companies that do this. Thanks ANY information about AUTO insurance will be greatly appreciated. As far as the coverage also, i don't have a clue about any of these deductibles they are asking about when i go to some of the sites online for quotes! Thanks""

Renters insurance for apartments?

When renting an apartment at a complex or apartment building, is renters insurance always mandatory?""

How much would the insurance be for a 16 year old with a v6 2010 camaro?

My mom is either giving me her car which is a 2006 Lexus gx 470 which she bought for $50,000 or she will buy me a 2010 v6 camaro. Would insurance be lower if I recieved the lexus or camaro?""

Car Insurance Company have had my car for OVER A YEAR.?

Ok, so this is a little complicated... Oct 2008 I had a car accident. My car was written off. My car was towed to a garage and was held there while the insurance company evaluated the damage. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW MY CAR. Because the size of my excess (800) and the amount of damage matched the value of the car (800) I was advised it would be pointless to claim on the insurance and it was written off. The accident was my fault and I held my hands up and admitted it and the other party walked away with everything sorted. No suggestion of fraud and certainly nothing fraudulent on my part. Towards the end of 2008 my insurance company started falling off the radar, not returning my calls or my emails, letters etc. I repeatedly asked what I was supposed to do next (I'd never had an accident before and the whole process confused me because they kept giving me conflicting info) and where my car was. I was ignored (or given incorrect info). In the end I declared a SORN on the car and had so much going on in my personal life, I forgot about it, knowing the car was off the road. Anyway, I'm now trying to track the car down as the SORN is about to run out. Insurance company are still off the radar and refusing to answer. Now they're saying they have no record of me, my policy OR my car. So I've lost my car, I don't know who's got it and yet I'm still liable for it. What can I do? Can I get the police involved? Trading standards? ANYTHING? I don't care about the car, whoever has it can keep it! I just don't want to be liable for it! By the way, the insurance company involved is SwiftCover.com, in case anyone is thinking of going with them because they're cheap. They're cheap because they're RUBBISH.""

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Who pays $200.00 for car insurance?

I just got a Nationwide quote for car insurance and it was over $200.00 for the monthly payments. Im just now getting my own car/car insurance(in my name), Im a female in my mid-twenties, had my first two speeding tickets last year. Plan on getting a 2007 Pontiac G6, and I will be driving it to work and school. is $200.00 a normal monthly amount to be paid for me?""

Car Insurance?

What is the name of the car insurance I could get, that covers any one who drives my car but who is not on the policy? Thanks""

BEST AFFORDABLE MEDICAL INSURANCE FOR NEWLYWEDS (NO KIDS)?

HUSBAND MAKES MORE, SO NOW NO LONGER QUALIFY FOR MY INSURANCE. WHICH IS THE BEST INSURANCE FOR PEOPLE WITH NO KIDS, AND WHICH IS THE BEST WHEN WE DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS? AND WHY? THANKS SO MUCH, THIS IS A PAIN IN THE REAR...""

Suspended Registration in California due to Car Insurance?

My registration was suspended because I didnt show proof to the DMV that i had car insurance. I recently bought car insurance but I cannot show proof to the DMV until I receive my Insurance card in the mail which the insurance rep said it may take 2 weeks! I already paid my fee to the DMV to reinstate my insurance but i have to wait until the insurance card come inorder to submit my insurance to the DMV. I have my temporary insurance card and my car registration in the car. What would be the consequences if i get pulled over by a cop? Thank you in advance.

Piaggio ape 50cc Insurace Please HELP?

Okay I'm 17 and looking at getting a Piaggio ape 50cc to drive around i live in a town in the uk, I have looked for a number plate to get a example of cost on insurance as if its loads I wont be able to get it! I'm pretty sure I don't need full licence to drive just CBT as I don't have full licence!""

Why has car insurance gone up?

I insured a VW Polo about 3 months ago. I got a good quote of 41 a month. We moved house to better neighborhood, and I can now lock my car in the garage overnight. Also the car is now less in use as I have access to a newer car which I use for commuting etc. The polo is for when the family really needs to make two different journeys at the same time. A spare car if you will. Now my cheapest quote is 85 / month!!! WTF? Why has car insurance skyrocketed in 3 months?""

HOW CAN I GET CHEAP YOUNG CAR INSURANCE ?

Hi, please anyone know how or where can I get cheap young car insurance? I am 19 years old, I got pass plus certificate already, at the moment my quote it's 2300 per year I am looking for less and that thank you.""

Renting a car for the first time- do I have to buy insurance bc my personal car insurance is not in my name?

My car and car insurance are under my fiancees name. I will be renting a car on my own. Do I have to buy the insurance because it's not in my name?

Where can I get non-owners insurance in New Jersey?

I dont own a car, but I rent about once a week, and would rather not have to take out liability insurance each time.""

Monthly car insurance?

I need to find the cheapest car insurance for one month of coverage. I am working to get my car re-registered after being salvaged, so I don't have a lot of money to spend on car insurance this month. Since I live in CA and need to drive the car to get inspected, it needs insurance. All of the places I've checked have monthly rates, but I have to put a lot down and I can't afford it. Please advise.""

Why do i need car insurnace?

give me 7 reasons why i need car insurance

Why is it important to carry car insurance if the odds of a major accident are quite low?

Its a stats question

Which insurance companies will let me drive other cars whilst fully comp at 21?

Which insurance companies will let me drive other cars whilst fully comp at 21?

""How Much is Car Insurance going to cost for a 1997 corvette, if I am 16?

Is it true that the older cars cost less to insure?

How long do you have to have SR22 insurance? It's really expensive and my case was settled over 2 yrs ago.

How long do you have to have SR22 insurance? It's really expensive and my case was settled over 2 yrs ago.

Do i still have to pay my car insurance?

i just started driving and i had a small crash im 3rd party insurance i scrapped the car couldnt afford the insurance and mot ect ,i still have to pay insurance for the year so i mite as well have kept the car is there anyway i can cancel as im in financial hardship""

How much will it cost me to insure monthly a Porsche Boxster 2.5 2dr Roadster 1998.?

Saw a very good one, will like to have an idea of how much it'll cost me before i dive in. Thank you.""

Can you remove yourself from your parents' health insurance voluntarily?

I just would like to know. Is it possible? Thanks.

Washington State Car Insurance?

I am 21 years old, and I just bought a vehicle, and transferred the title and everything. HOWEVER I only have a Learners Permit. Is it possible for me to buy insurance for the car, to use it to learn to drive prior to licensing? I don't have a spouse or parent with a car or auto insurance, so that is out of the options.""

Subsidized health insurance for age 55+ in California?

Is there a subsidized health insurance program for people age 55+ in California? I used to live in Massachusetts where my father-in-law has MassHealth insurance coverage. Any program similar to that in California? Thanks!

Insurance on a Blackjack?

One drunk night I managed to crack the screen on my (orginial) Blackjack. I bought it in June of last year and its on a 2 year contract, but i do have insurance on it. What does insurance do? Fix the crack on the phone i have? Send me another blackjack? Can i get a different phone? I dont want another blackjack when theres a blackjack 2....anything you know will help.""

Car insurance Michigan?

Im 23 i will be trying to buy a car. I have the down payment but its the insurance that the dealers are scaring me with. One dealer told me it would be about 400 to start a policy. My question is do i havr to pay that whole 400 to get my car off the lot or will it be like half and then the other half later that month

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

Can my husband be on his parents insurance with his car and be on my own insurance with my car? Because right now he is on his parents and I just got a car and I dont want to have both cars on my insurance plan.

Life insurance quotes make me save money?

Life insurance quotes make me save money?

Approximately how much would car insurance cost for a teenager in NJ?

Approximately how much would car insurance cost for a teenager in NJ?

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

Moody Texas Cheap car insurance quotes zip 76557

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