kindness and other things you can expect from your boss ~ trystan x nora
The quarterly honour-your-employees day coincides with Nora's birthday. Everyone wants to be 'best detective/genius' giving Mafalda a long overdue headache. (crimes of passion)
wc: 1.3k, general audiences
a/n: guys guys guys guys guys
the incredible wonderful @stars-are-within-me (I'm literally at a loss for words) with the collective awesomeness of Thia from @oh-so-youre-a-nerd gave me this ABSOLUTE BEAUTY for Nora's birthday which is, well, right now!
I'm still processing this surprise and it's like - I have a lot of thoughts but they're all "ghjkfdfvgbhjkgfdsdfg" so I have no idea how to make sense of "dfghjkjhgfdvbnm" and a lot of pillow-screaming. Instead, I wrote a drabble!
***
“All right, all right, all right.” Mafalda snapped her fingers. “Clearly the idea is to not perpetuate unhealthy working environments.”
“She means you.” Ruby whispered to Nora.
“Hey, I am perfectly deserving of the plaque.”
“You have been competing for the plaque since the plaque was introduced.” Luke wielded his power of statistics. “And have won like a lot of times already, sit down.”
“It was three times, man. You had a five-quarter streak three years ago.”
“C’mon, go easy on him.” Ruby insisted.
“As if you didn’t get the award like fifteen times already.” Luke countered. “I am very proud of you by the way, but seriously babe. You earned boss’s favor ever since you cracked the Darcy Lever and the Sunlight Films conspiracy from thumb prints across beer glasses.”
“It was a slow year for you, Nora.” Mafalda supplied, quickly subverting the topic. “Perhaps the award should go to, erm-,” - she scanned the room, “- the point is, everyone did well.”
“Are you saying my progress matters less because I happened to take care of myself much more in the last quarter leading up to today, and didn’t spend all that time worrying about work in a society that deems itself pro-hustle at the cost of everyone’s mental health?”
“Are you really playing the but-it’s-my-birthday card right now?” Mafalda crossed her arms, eyebrows raised.
“Hey, everyone enjoyed the burger combos on me, didn’t you all?”
Everyone turned their attention to Trystan who had his feet propped up on Nora’s desk, indulging in his first (that they knew of) greasy food exploit. “Mm” - he mumbled, taking quick bites of his cheeseburger. “Thish is one of the besh burgers I have ever had. We had a branch in Drakkos that closed ten years ago.” - he licked the sauce off his fingers before staring at the others who were staring at him. “What?”
“Just because it is your birthday that doesn’t mean you’re getting the plaque.” Ruby reasoned. “Right Mafalda?”
“I hate this.” she responded.
“See? Boss sees reason.”
“But c’mon -- it’s -- what is one more quarter? I just made a place for it on my wall.”
“Look, we all did really well these months.” Luke played the mediator. “Ruby’s faster forensic processing saved us a lot of time. I updated all of our databases so any new information is constantly added to pre-set dossiers. Nora’s gotten pretty good at -- filing, I guess and Trystan’s--”
“What? I did stuff. I did the--” Trystan snapped his fingers, trying to recollect something. “-- the thing.”
“You’re not being helpful.” Nora said.
“Good. I would hate to be of any help.” Trystan tossed a stray French fry in the air and caught it with his teeth. “The whole point of working as a private detective--”
“Consultant.”
“As a private detective-slash-consultant--”
“Just a consultant.”
“And a consultant-- is that it is independent of the trivialities of a cubical-shaped office. No Employee of the Month, none of that.”
“You have never worked in an office.” Luke added quietly.
“The point is- they matter very less to me. I am all about the work. And the fun.” he tossed another fry into the air and caught it at the nick of time. “Mostly just the fun. All right, maybe it is all about the fun.”
“Too bad because the award would have gone to you.”
A chorus of “What?”s erupted. Mafalda picked up the Best Detective/Genius Award from its permanent (now temporary) place on Nora’s desk and handed it over to him. The term was, well, outdated. They couldn’t have “Employee of the Month” considering everyone had unique job titles and it would be weird to equate forensic processing with on-foot investigations. The only thing they could somewhat compare was everyone’s role in a case and how much they were able to contribute towards faster getting-through-the-stack-of-files.
“Oh I love this!” Trystan read the plaque.
“This doesn’t--” Nora started to protest, but quickly withdrew it. “I suppose he deserves it.”
“Not cool, boss, not cool at all.” Luke heckled. “It doesn’t make sense, how-”
“It makes perfect sense to me, Luke. Trystan has learned a lot in his time here, he has used his resources for the good of the job, he is a valuable person on the team - on many occasions risking his life especially with his status as a celebrity-- and well-” Mafalda shrugged. “He is good at what he does. It makes sense to encourage a new team player. And I would insist Nora to give it out. Pass on the plaque from the former winner to the current winner. Ensures teamsmanship in the -- I’m sorry, my Lia just started soccer-- the point is, before I go off on a tangent, please uh, clap. Thank you. Do not make me do this again.”
Except instead of the room erupting with scattered applause, confused murmurs and Luke’s rebuttals just after he had proclaimed everyone was deserving of the award, Trystan pulled open the music app to look up ‘royalty free award music’ and hit play.
“No-- no you are not making it into a thing.”
“I am definitely making it into a thing.” Trystan threw Nora a smirk and unfolded a cardboard crown that the kind people at the burger place had given along with the food. When everyone threw him perplexed looks, he shrugged, “Only coronation I’d get to take part in my life.” and tossed his phone at Mafalda. “Take a picture for me?”
“No.”
“Please, boss?"
She didn't object further.
A good solid ten minutes went by with them figuring out the correct pose. Trystan wanted Nora to pose as if she’s handing him the plaque. Then he decided he no longer wanted a picture and insisted his boss press record instead. A few minutes went by because Mafalda had accidentally clicked on slo-mo and they had to rectify that and ensure the filters were all set right.
They also had to get the lighting correctly, so Ruby had to stand holding the curtain up at a certain angle so the natural sunlight could hit their faces right. Luke was tasked with fishing a coronation mantle out of the box of costumes in the back of the closet, but was only successful at finding a red bedsheet and a fur wrap-around, so that’d have to do.
Fifteen minutes later, with the royalty free coronation music playing its tenth loop, pictures were taken.
“You know what? I am amending it. Trystan shares the prize with Nora.” Mafalda decided out of the blue, because she loved being an agent of chaos like that.
Another chorus of ‘What? What?” ensued. A plot twist? An amendment to the sacred employee code? Can Mafalda (even though she is literally the boss) do that? Is she for real? Luke blamed what he called the ‘birthday bias’. He never got to share the medallion with Ruby on his birthday. It wasn’t fair.
Ruby gave up on the lighting and was arguing with Mafalda over Nora’s five-win sweep. There were shouts to scrap the policy entirely. Some (Nora) argued on behalf of all the present January-born 33-year olds. Some (also Nora) advocated for the inherent sanctity of the all-or-nothing policy behind the ‘Best Detective/Genius’ award - “either one person gets it or nobody gets it! We are not doing halves!”
Forty five minutes later after fervent arguing, with Trystan’s phone charging in the background thanks to the battery draining after playing the royalty anthem a hundred times, the five of them were able to calm down and think rationally.
Clearly Nora deserved the award as much as Trystan did - it was a slow, but rough year for both of them - and well, it was mostly just an incentive to get at least half the people to agree on something and piss the other half off, instead of going 25-75.
Mafalda hated divide-and-conquer as much as the next guy, but hey, you could only turn thirty-three once.
***
A/N: Okay now I can scream.
DFGHJKFTGJHKJLJHDGFSDGHFJKLKJBNVCXDFSGRTYTULJNBMVNCBXVDSGRYRDSXCERVTYBFUNIHNYBTFVDRCXSCRVDTBFYGNUHIKYBJVTDHCSHRVDTBFYGNUHMIJ
This is honestly the most thoughtful thing and like, ugh Stars, how are you the nicest, most wonderful person to ever possibly walk this Earth? It brings me so much joy that you guys show so much love and support to the actual gremlins I write about. Thia, of course, I just -- I just am crying at the details - the funky rings on Trystan's fingers, Nora's scar, JUST THEM, like it's just it is the most touching feeling to like have a piece of fanart that just *gets* your gremlins - not only the bigger details, but the smaller ones that just makes it so incredibly special - I just -- I can't, I'm literally going to start crying again lmao.
Thank you THANK YOU so much for this, I might have to be the Devil and acquire ten million souls to like repay this thoughtful gesture, it is just EVERYTHING TO ME, OKAY? Now brb I'm just gonna continue crying, screaming, kicking my feet in the air and just being the most insufferable person offline about it.
ALSO Fun factoid nobody-asked-for: I was meant to write a Heist fic y'know as a homage to Brooklyn 99 and the "Detective/Genius" plaque but then it got too long and kind of went nowhere at the moment, so I was like "why not write something from mafalda's point of view" so here you go lmaoooo. But seriously, I love the B99 reference - literally one of my fav shows! This is just so sweet, I'm just going to keep screaming about this piece of fanart for like ever and ever
Tagging:
perma: @quixoticdreamer16 @tessa-liam @stars-are-within-me
crimes: @trappedinfanfiction @ao719 @cassie-thorne @peonierose @moominofthevalley @jerzwriter
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