#gillian is skeptical

[preposterousgreen]

There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about what SOLDIER treatments do to a person’s body, some of which are started and/or perpetuated by SOLDIERs themselves.

When visiting home, Genesis exploits one such myth to get out of having to eat anything with bell peppers in it, while Angeal invents one of his own to avoid being fed beets.

[chamddy]

(made on procreate btw)

Draw of Mulder and Scully because they’re too nice 👽✨

[sakuraswordly]

Let me continue from vole-mon-amour

As you can see Mulder is soft and starts to care about Scully not because is love at first sight but because it is the relationship between partners (Start with Season 1). Mulder knew no one understood him even Scully but Scully as a partner, chose to not leave him even though at first she did not believe in aliens. The relationship between them at first is just like Demi Lovato and Simon Cowell on the X Factor. In Demi's view who calls Simon a grumpy old man, this is the same thought as Scully at first.

As you can see in the X Files Bloopers- Seasons 1, if you compare to that picture scene, what Mulder did here or his feelings, this is the real Mr David Duchovny for Miss Gillian Anderson in season 1. At first, Miss Gillian tried to learn her role and it was super hard for her at first but Mr David Duchovny taught her and always be with her(Until today they're the best(just forget chemistry that they're doing-_-;)) That's why I watch only season 1-4 because that jerk Mulder is the real Mr David Duchovny in his role.

[lesbianmarrow]

the thing that really blew me away about scully when i first started watching the x-files was how inward-focused she is. i had expected someone who speaks her mind more; after all, she is the skeptic, constantly questioning mulder’s theories. but so often, scully doesn’t say what she’s thinking. she’s got a million thoughts running through her head and she’s not saying a single one until she feels the time is right (and gillian anderson, bless her, communicates this so clearly without words). she loves to quietly observe and assess and analyze. i had expected someone who commands a room and takes charge, and scully can do that when she needs to, but in the early seasons especially she seems most comfortable letting information and experiences wash over her instead of forcing them to go a certain way. she’s really not trying to make the facts fit a particular agenda; she genuinely wants to find the truth. this also makes the scenes where she listens to victims’ stories very compelling, because she listens to them with compassion and a focused intensity, and often it seems that she’s the first person who has listened to their stories in that way. she’s quiet but not shy, receptive but not passive, intelligent and calculating and solitary. i adore her.

[is-on-its-way]

I have heard the whispers on reddit for a while about how Chris Carter kept the script from GA until the very last minute and how he let Duchovny read it before her. And I have always been skeptical because, like, who would be that much of a high school type bully?

Im sad to say after a solid trek through the wayback machine and a ton of broken links I found it. Please excuse the retelling of old news, I just got here...

The same old will they won't they nonsense masquerading as pseudo intellectual pretension. It would've been less invasive to the plot to just have them be an old married couple.

Imagine watching Gillian Anderson act out that final scene like she was hanging on to the last thread of her sanity and thinking, these two people are more emotionally connected than ever because Ive impregnanted a 53 year old and yeeted the son she's been traumatised about for 20 years?

sooo? they got back together because in retirement and old age they needed a caretaker? Oh thats not...

ah yes the pillow talk where Scully worries Mulder would leave her for a younger fertile woman. BROTHER EUUUGH

This is insane. it's just absolutely insane. it's downright bullying. letting DD read it but keeping GA in the dark bc he knew she'd have issues with it. not trusting Gillian Freaking Anderson to know how to act. No you know what? Knowing your script is so corrupt a world class one in a million actor wouldn't be able to act this out without being able to hide her simmering rage if she had a chance to internalise it.

Im not so unbiased that I can't give him props for this one. Its so sad he couldn't let go of the same plot hes regurgitated over and over and made that the overarching plot of the revival bc it could've been epic.

Link for the whole thing

[randomfoggytiger]

The X-Files: the Madonna-Whore Complex

(Credit to @cecilysass, whose comment got these thoughts going.)

I have a theory.

In the fandom, the Madonna-whore complex is often attributed to Chris Carter's handling of Dana Scully. And, while I didn't give it much weight at first, going through his old interviews gave me pause.

THE CHRIS CARTER ANGLE

From 1993 to 1998 (where I stopped reading), Chris repeatedly stated that Mulder and Scully were (are) both sides of himself: “I’m equal parts of both characters,” says their creator. “I’m a skeptic like Scully, but I’m also ready to be enraptured, like Mulder.” Mulder represented his want to believe (and inner darkness-- which he doesn't outright state... but doesn't dissuade others from thinking, either) and Scully represented his skepticism with the paranormal or faith. A lot of his personal details leaked through into their lives-- Hegel Place, California childhood, a sunflower seed habit-- and his personal philosophy-- “Trusting people, generally, is bad,” he says with a slight smile-- became the backbone of the show. He used interesting turns of phrase when discussing his characters' names: "I grew up in L.A. where Vin Scully was the voice of God. Dana is just a nice soft woman’s name I like" and Carter gave The X-Files’ Mulder his mother’s maiden name.... And, as we all know, the repeating 10/13 and 11/21 are his (and Mulder's) birthday and his wife's birthday, respectively.

It could be as simple as a showrunner incorporating himself into his work... or it can make a lot of sense regarding Mulder and Scully's sexual misadventures.

Does this point to Chris Carter being a "puritan", shunning all sexual allusion? He seemed to be willing to hint at more-- letting Tea Leoni suggest a naked Gillian be cheek to cheek with David Duchovny, and teasingly gazing at David's deleted rear shot-- and was even persuaded to leave in the Millennium and Existence kisses (not to mention writing or cosigning the I Want to Believe "scratchy beard" scene.) But does a little lip-locking or a little nudity knock down the "never-nude" angle?

Ultimately, I think speculations on CC's "quirks" are fruitless: unless the man himself sits down and gives a clearer "yes" or "no", it would be equivalent to shooting blanks in the dark. Besides, the parallels don't need to be directly tied to his personal life to inform the decisions of (and for) his characters.

The parallels, though, can't be denied.

MADONNA-WHORE, SCULLY-MULDER

To draw back to the main point: both Scully and Mulder had complicated sexual hang-ups.

Scully wasn't "allowed" to definitively have sex with Ed Jerse while Mulder was only "allowed" sex under duress. Scully was "allowed" to go on normal dates while Mulder was only "allowed" porn fantasies (Chinga, Kill Switch, First Person Shooter) and an on-call phone sex operator. Scully was "allowed" past healthy relationships (except for the one Gillian created, ahem ahem) while Mulder wasn't "allowed" to have anything resembling joy or stability in his past.

All this to say: I think Mulder and Scully are two sides of the Madonna-whore complex: Scully is the Madonna, Mulder is the whore.

It makes sense, too: Scully followed the rules and was "too smart" to get entangled with people who degraded or hurt her-- which made her a little inhuman (according to Morgan, Wong, and Gillian.) Mulder too easily blurred professional lines-- which made him easily seduced by those who intended to harm him. Phoebe Green-- as written by CC-- mentioned Mulder's illicit past activities to draw him back in; and Never Again-- as vetoed by CC-- kept an element of denial about Scully and Jerse's bedroom activities.

(Scully herself was compared to the Virgin Mary once in canon-- though it was not, it appears, Chris Carter who gunned for the imagery; nor was it the writers' and director's intent to be anything other than a metaphor that was "on-theme" for the seasonal episode:

March 14, 1998

Q #16 – Hi, my name is Deborah. Two of my favorite episodes from this season are “Christmas Carol” and “Emily” and I found myself in some heated discussions with other fans who felt Scully was turned into a mere victim, that the religious iconography was heavy handed, being beaten over the head with the Virgin Mary / Scully kind of thing. None of which I agree with. I wondered if you could talk a little about the religious iconography in those two episodes and how you work that kind of thing in and was it as self-conscious as everyone else thinks it is?

FS – ...When we began again, we also took the Dickens story, A Christmas Carol, as our lead. So suddenly the story came together very fast and actually was one of the most satisfying to write for the three of us.

The use of the manger at the very beginning of “Christmas Carol” was deliberate. The idea of a “virgin birth” was conscious. I think the one image in that two parter that people really felt was heavy handed or was laying onto Scully as Virgin Mary idea was at the end of “Emily” there is a very slow dissolve to the stained glass and that was an image that the director chose to use because it was there on the set that day and all of us liked it. But I don’t think that we meant to suggest that she was anyway equivalent to the Virgin Mary and simply thought that, you know, it was a Christmas story and those parallels deepened the story we were telling.

Still.)

The Madonna-whore/Scully-Mulder complex explains a lot a lot a lot about their complicated sex lives.

If that be the case (whether consciously or subconsciously), it makes sense why Chris Carter only wrote a kiss for them after the world didn't end. Biblical mythology and fate were always his favorite tools, after all.

A RUN DOWN

The Jersey Devil-- written by Chris Carter-- is the first episode to tackle the boundaries of this theoretical complex.

Mulder introduces the theme with a porn magazine, at work.

Scully has to drive back to a birthday party, and Mulder immediately balks over the idea of her on a possible date.

Scully considers "a life", agrees to go out with Rob to a perfectly respectable establishment, and dances around the topic uncomfortably with Mulder later.

Mulder wants her to cancel-- not out of romantic jealousy, but because their working relationship might be hindered if her interests were divided elsewhere.

"Unlike you, Mulder, I would like to have a life"/"I have a life" brazenly slaps that motif down; and Scully on her respectable date, Mulder drawing nude jersey devil women at work, Mulder forming a charmed connection with a wild woman, Mulder getting peeved over Rob's call, and Scully leaving Rob for a place by Mulder's side continues to nail it home.

Mulder lunges for the lurid, the alluring, the impossible, with nothing but empty promises and unfulfilled expectations to show for his efforts. That pattern holds for romantic-- Fire, 3, War of the Coprophages, Syzygy (to a degree), The Field Where I Died, Kill Switch, Amor Fati, First Person Shooter-- and platonic-- Deep Throat, Krycek, CSM, Diana Fowley, sundry allies in-between-- relationships. "You think he [Deep Throat] does this because he gets off on it?" he challenged Scully, stunned when she responded, "No. I think he does it because you do."

Scully strides expectantly towards the normal, the stable, the predictable; and leaves all unsavory entanglements before they besmirch her dignity or self-worth (including the unconsummated romance with Daniel Waterston, according to Gillian Anderson.) Ed Jerse is an outlier, a symptom of how out-of-control Scully felt her life had become-- a rebellion against her expected or self-imposed or self-inflicted Madonna pedestal. "Hard to imagine, this day and age, someone having sex with a perfect stranger" played well with the medical concern of the AIDS epidemic and her distaste for losing control completely in the throes of passion.

When the Genderbender detective stated, "Guy blew an artery-- must be some roll-in-the-hay", Scully was annoyed immediately while Mulder looked a little too amused and intrigued.

CONCLUSION

I rest my case, Your Honor.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 15A: Dreams

Wilmington, North Carolina

Labor Day Weekend, 1988

I'm hung up on dreams I'll never see Help me baby, or this will surely be the end of me…

 - Dreams, The Allman Brothers Band (1969) [click here to listen]

“I’ll be upstairs in just a few minutes. Did you finish your reading?”

Ten-year-old William MacKenzie shook his head. “I was going to, but that’s when Daddy arrived with Jamie and Claire – I mean, Mr. and Mrs. Fraser. And then it was time for dinner, and then - ”

Gillian Duncan MacKenzie bent to kiss her son’s forehead. “All right then. Why don’t you get yourself all caught up?”

William’s eyes darted over to Claire, seated across from his mother at the kitchen table, sipping sweet tea.

“Jamie and I will be here all weekend,” she smiled. “You’ll have plenty of time to talk with him about music tomorrow.”

His face brightened. “OK! See you in the morning!”

Claire couldn’t help but smile as William darted out of the room, footsteps quickly thudding on the stairs.

Gillian turned to face her guest. “He’s so excited. It’s not every day that a bona fide rock star is here in sleepy Wilmington.”

“Thank you for asking him to not tell his friends at school. I’m used to the attention now – ”

Gillian raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Are you?”

Claire shrugged. “Well – no. I don’t know if I ever will be. But one thing that won’t change is how much we value our privacy. So – thank you.”

“Of course, Claire. Privacy and discretion are what I do professionally – how could I not extend the same courtesy to you, when you’re a guest in my home?”

“Still. Thank you.”

A beat. Claire sipped the sweet tea Gillian had made – the same recipe she’d grown to love, those months at The Ridge. Gillian gently pulled Claire’s left hand across the table, studying her rings.

“You said this was his grandmother’s engagement ring?”

Claire nodded. “He inherited it when she died. His sister Jenny kept it for him, until he asked her for it. Called her the day he got home from The Ridge, and went to see her the next day. He gave it to me a few weeks later.”

“A man who knows what he wants.”

Claire smiled. “And I’m a woman who knows what she wants.”

Gillian returned the smile, then focused on the wide band next to the engagement ring.

“I love how solid and simple your ring is. Silver?”

“Platinum. His is the same. Wide enough for an inscription on the inside.”

“I do,” she had whispered. Smiling through the tears. Thinking he looked just a bit ridiculous in his suit. Sliding the band inscribed “Forever My Love” across his knuckle.

“I do,” he had whispered. Eyes burning, full of awe. Agape at the simple gray dress she had chosen, his mother’s pearls around her throat. Sliding the band inscribed “Forever My Heart” onto her finger.

“I am so pleased to…” Professor Quentin Lambert Beauchamp loudly blew his nose into a polka-dotted handkerchief. “Excuse me. I am so pleased to pronounce you husband and wife. Jamie, you may kiss your bride.”

He did. To the applause of the ten dear friends gathered in Joe and Gail Abernathy’s Boston backyard.

“That’s beautiful.” Gillian lay her own left hand on the table, adorned only by a thin gold ring. “Dougal never gave me an engagement ring, and he insisted I have the gold band for our marriage. His is silver. He had just sunk all of his money into building The Ridge, and we couldn’t even afford flowers at the reception.”

“That’s beautiful, too, Gillian. And I understand why you wouldn’t want to upgrade. Because what you have now, is that much more meaningful.”

“I was sitting here, when Joe and Gail staged the intervention.” Jamie looked over at his wife – his wife!! – gazing up into the arbor behind the house. “The vines were heavy with grapes. I remember thinking, how appropriate that I’m looking at what could be wine.”

He pulled her closer against his side, and kissed the top of her head. Careful of the tortoiseshell combs that Jenny had so lovingly placed in Claire’s hair as she got ready this afternoon.

“Ian confronted me in a hotel room in…Sacramento, I think. I had been so wasted on stage the night before, slurring through half the songs. Jenny had come to see Ian, and she was so scared for me. She had already done the research, made a few phone calls. I puked the whole flight across country to North Carolina.”

“It’s always the ones we love who we hurt the most,” she murmured.

“I’m never going to hurt you, Claire. You know that, right?”

She turned to face her husband – her husband!! – and smiled. Reassuring.

“I do. And you know I’m never going to hurt you, Jamie. Right?”

He nodded. Couldn’t help but kiss her.

“Ah!”

Dougal MacKenzie and Alec MacMahon turned the corner, and cheered. “Here you are! Come on – don’t let us have all the fun without you. Can’t miss your own wedding reception!”

Gillian nodded. “I don’t need it. I have the life we’ve built together, and our son, and a man who somehow thinks the sun rises and sets with me. I’ll never understand it.”

Claire swallowed.

Of course Gillian noticed.

“Don’t ever doubt how much he loves you, Claire. I’ve seen you two together – you’re so natural with each other. That’s never going to change.”

She clenched her hand into a fist. Centering herself.

“It’s…it’s just so…intense, with him,” she whispered.

“We don’t have to tonight, Jamie. We have forever, now.”

His hands shook as his thumb softly, softly traced down her neck, across the pearls, and settled into the cleft between her breasts.

“I want to, Claire. I want you so much I can scarcely breathe. I just…”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gillian asked gently. “I can be your therapist, or I can be your friend. But I will listen.”

Claire took a deep, calming breath. “Being on tour – I see now how he developed the addictions. Every aspect of it is so stressful. He feels so much pressure to lead his band, to write music, to live up to the fans’ expectations. And he has to deal with the label and the tour manager and the production guys, and do media, and somehow find time to eat and shower and sleep on top of all of that.” Her thumb twisted her wedding ring. “He’d use the drugs to come up, and the alcohol to come down. And the women to just forget about everything for a while.”

“Are those groupies?”

Colum had organized a small gathering for the band and crew to celebrate the first show of the acoustic tour. No alcohol or drugs in the room – though Claire quickly learned that the rules by no means extended to hallways and bathrooms and storage rooms at the venue.

Jamie squeezed her hand, standing side by side in the corner, both of them holding a can of Tab.

“Yeah. I can ask them to leave, if you’re feeling uncomfortable.”

“No need.” She dropped his hand and quietly approached the four women giggling on the other side of the room.

“Ladies. I’m Claire Beauchamp. I’m with him.”

She turned slightly, looked at Jamie over her shoulder, and then turned back to her audience.

“So?” A girl wearing a strategically ripped Def Leppard t-shirt popped her gum. “That’s not what I heard about the last time he was here.”

Claire’s eyes narrowed. “That was then. This is now. I will say this only one time. If you even think about flashing a boob, or smiling at him, or trying to get him alone? I will end you.”

The girls gaped.

“Tell all your friends here in Albuquerque, please. Are we clear?”

“And now, that you’re there with him?”

Claire smiled. “He’s eating and sleeping a lot better. Has a lot more energy. He so desperately wants to do everything right. And I’m not going to lie, Gillian – seeing him perform the songs he wrote for me at The Ridge, and then being there when he comes off stage, all keyed up from singing and playing the guitar…”

“It sounds like in many respects he’s replaced his additions with you.”

Claire looked up, meeting Gillian’ gaze. “Of course he has. The album and lead single will be called She’s My Addiction. Doesn’t get any more obvious than that.”

“And how do you feel about that, Claire?”

She lay her hands flat on the table. “I’ve never felt more…loved, and cherished, than when I’m with Jamie.”

She frowned and opened her eyes when he stopped brushing her hair, one morning in Minneapolis.

“What – ”

The pads of his fingers swept the left side of her neck, still a bit tender from his kisses after last night’s show. “I bruised you. I’m sorry.”

“Hmm. I’m not.”

She swallowed. “But it’s so, so hard sometimes. He loves me for who I am, but I don’t want to do anything to fuck it up. And he stresses over so much that he doesn’t have to. Gillian, he’s been having panic attacks all tour.”

“My God. Is he seeing anyone to help with that?”

Claire sighed. “You’re looking at her. Thank God I did that psych rotation when I was in med school. I’ve helped him recognize the signs, and he knows enough to tell me when it’s happening so that we can get away and I can help him through it. But I’m not a psychiatrist. I can’t be everything he needs. He has to do a lot of work to explore what’s triggering him, so that he can manage that. Because after we take the break at the end of the year, we’ll be on the road for most of ’89. The label has booked more than a hundred shows.”

“And you’ll be with him?”

“Of course. He’s the air I breathe. I know this sounds insane, but we want to try for a baby next year. That way he can be off the road, off touring, to be with me if the timing lines up.” She sighed. “So I’ve talked to him about bringing a therapist with us on tour. He needs to have that kind of support from someone other than me. Especially when we’re in Europe and he’s playing soccer stadiums and dealing with a next level of bullshit.”

“Do you want some recommendations? Between Dougal and I, we can definitely help you find someone.”

Claire smiled thinly. “That would be wonderful. It has to be someone we both trust. Who can deal with all the craziness.”

Gillian nodded. “Consider it our wedding gift to you. I – we – really want to help you. You know this, Claire – getting sober is hard, but staying sober is so, so much harder. It does and doesn’t get easier with time. Dougal would say the same thing.”

“Do you ever miss it?”

She settled her chin into his shoulder, nestled securely in his lap. Together they watched the cornfields of Iowa glide by, thousands of feet below.

“No. Not really. The pills helped me deaden the pain. And my life doesn’t have that kind of pain at all, now.”

The private plane had four clusters of four seats, two seats on each side facing each other with a table in between. Jamie and Claire always had a cluster to themselves. Ian, his bass tech, Jamie’s guitar tech Arch, and Angus’ drum tech always sat together. Colum kept to himself. Leaving Angus in the final cluster – which he shared with the two groupies he’d been surprisingly faithful to since Albuquerque. He hated flying, but the girls certainly made it easier for him – plying him with snacks, rubbing his back, squeezing him between them in the big seat.

Claire turned slightly, and inhaled at his temple. Kissed his earlobe as he shivered. “I know you miss it, Jamie. And it’s OK.”

His grip tightened on her hip. “You taste so much better,” he whispered. Eyes far away.

Claire wiped the corners of her eyes. “I just love him, Gillian. So fucking much.” She took a deep breath. “I’m so proud of him, for everything he’s done, and for the man he’s worked so hard to become. I’m not going to lie – sometimes it’s so damn hard to deal with everything. With all of his past shit, and how he still lets it mess with his head. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve told him that none of it bothers me. Not the drugs, or the alcohol, or the destroyed hotel rooms, or what is probably hundreds of women. I can’t let any of that bother me, because that’s not the Jamie I know. But Gillian…”

Gillian reached across the table and took Claire’s hand.

“He makes everything so fucking hard sometimes. He starts to spiral, and he worries that I’ll have had enough and walk away. But then we just take a deep breath, and we look at each other, and all the bullshit is gone, and it’s just so easy again.”

“You need a day off!”

Jamie rubbed his hands over his face, exasperated. “I do have a day off tomorrow, Claire. You know as well as I do that there isn’t a show.”

She huffed, hands on her hips. “Not the point, Jamie. I saw the call sheet for tomorrow. You’re meeting with the label, and then with Colum to talk to the merch guy, and then the lighting team, and then you’re doing some local radio spots. That’s NOT a day off!”

He shrugged. “At least we can get dinner together and it won’t be shitty venue food.”

She pursed her lips, trying so hard not to scream. “Do you not remember the panic attack last night? You were sobbing in my arms, Jamie. It was really, really bad. And then you were so exhausted, but you wanted to be a hero and do the show anyway, and then you tripped over your fucking amp when you went on stage and could have broken your arm. Where would that leave us, hmm?”

He reached out to her – and she stepped back.

Not done with him yet. 

“You need rest, Jamie. Your body is going to shut down. And that won’t be good for anybody.”

“Is that your medical opinion, Dr. Beauchamp?”

A hint of a smile. Good.

“Yes. I’m your personal physician. I’m prescribing a day in bed, sleeping.”

He smirked. “OK. But only if you’re in it, too.”

She shrugged. “I’m not making any sense.”

“Yes you are,” Gillian smiled. “You said it’s intense between you – there’s no way it couldn’t be. Set aside his being a musician, and being in just about the biggest band in the world right now. Think about how and when you met. What had happened to both of you beforehand. All the changes you’ve made in both of your lives, in a relatively short timeframe. It’s overwhelming. And being on the road with him this summer had to have just upped that intensity.”

“We’re together non-stop. Which has been great, because we have so much time. We have what nobody else has, and I treasure that, I really do. But it’s also exhausting sometimes.” Claire paused, considering. “Nobody else knows what I’m about to tell you, but it’s another factor. We…we didn’t…” She closed her eyes. “We waited until our wedding night.”

Gillian’s silence was a gift.

“We were both so scared. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I think we were worried that…that it wouldn’t be good, for some reason. And it was good, Gillian. So fucking good. We both cried.”

“You’re everything.” He kissed her nose and cheeks and forehead and mouth over and over and over again, his tears mixing with hers. “My heart is going to burst.”

She hugged him tighter, nails digging into the flames tattooed on his shoulders. “Love you,” she whispered, breathless. “Love you love you love you love you…”

“I don’t need to tell you this, Claire, but I will anyway. It’s been a really good decision to spend so much time together, to really get to know each other, before you were married. Both of you deliberately wanted your relationship to be different from anything you’d known or done before. And now that last barrier is gone between you. So everything has changed, am I right?”

Indianapolis. Married one week. He couldn’t stop smiling at her, standing side stage during the show. She couldn’t stop giggling when he found her after the encore, threw her over his shoulder, and ran to his dressing room. His breath hot against her lips, breathlessly pleading for her to stay quiet, as they loved each other on the sofa and the techs and roadies and catering people and production staff bustled by the locked door.

“It has, Gillian. But in many ways it hasn’t. It feels like yesterday, and it feels like forever.”

New Haven. Married two weeks. The morning after a powerhouse show at the Coliseum. A penthouse suite overlooking the water. She had slipped out of bed in the dark, opened the curtains wide. Watched him watch her as she returned to bed. Held his gaze as they loved each other, dawn breaking over their faces.

“I get that. You’ve introduced another layer to your relationship. Probably the most complex layer that there is.”

Providence. Married two weeks and two days. Holding each other in a bath, Jamie’s hand splayed across her belly, Claire’s nose buried in the curtain of his hair.

“So, be patient with yourself, Claire. Cut yourself a break.” Gillian reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “And just enjoy yourself! My God – what an incredible life you have.”

Claire’s smile was the widest Gillian had ever seen.

“Holy shit. I married a rock star.”

“I heard that!”

And then Jamie was there, smiling, and kissing Claire’s smile.

Dougal hung back in the doorway. Exchanging smiles with his own wife.

“Come on, rock star. You said you’d help me hook up the new CD player.”

Jamie pulled back. Rubbed his nose against Claire’s.

“Hey, Dougal?”

Dougal crossed his arms. “What?”

Jamie stood. Squeezed Claire’s hands. Kissed her wedding ring.

“Love is a much better high than any drug.”

Dougal rolled his eyes. “I’ll put that on the new pamphlets we’re printing up for The Ridge. But the stereo won’t install itself. Help out, and I’ll even let you play that new stuff you brought.”

[cecilysass]

Scully the ice queen?

I often see people talking about the “ice queen” trope in XF fanfic from the 90s as an example of fanon becoming ubiquitous in fanfic. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is it in a nutshell: basically, fanfic in the 1990s began to make reference to Scully as a perceived “ice queen,” both at work and in her personal life, meaning that she didn’t express her emotions, that she was repressed and cold. And then that became a thing, a standard trope that other fanfic writers drew on.

My theory is that the “ice queen” / Scully association didn’t actually come from specific works of fic or from specific individuals.  I also don’t think it necessarily originated in fic and then crossed over into fan perceptions of Scully. I think it’s easy for 21st century fans to get the causal arrows mixed up on this because we're missing some historical context. I believe many viewers in the 1990s—not just fanfic writers—actually interpreted Scully differently than viewers now because they interpreted female characters differently. I think people in the 1990s were simply much more likely to interpret women serious about their professional lives as “ice queens.” Especially if their professional lives involved science.

Consider the below female scientist (P.K. Newby) writing about her graduate school experience in the 1990s.

Of course this still happens today, and of course it didn’t always happen in the 1990s. But I think it’s important that this impacted actual women living their lives in the same time period, because it’s reasonable that this also affected TV audiences’ perception of a character. 

I give you this message from the Usenet discussion group alt.tv.x-files, the first season of the show, from before the fanfic Usenet group was even created. This user characterizes Scully as an “ice queen,” claiming to notice a change after Darkness Falls, and even associating it with her skepticism specifically.

(This is me showing you the whole message with the date, then showing you parts close up because it's so tiny. I'm very dedicated.)

So in this (very early online fandom) conversation, we have a fan who already read her as an “ice queen” on their own without the filter of fanfic to sway them.

Now please don’t get me wrong. Fanfic definitely took hold of the Scully / ice queen thing and ran with it. There are many examples in the Usenet group during the 1990s of people asking, “Hey, which episode was Scully called ‘ice queen’ again? and people saying, ‘Oh never, ha, that’s just a fanfic thing.’” It was a well-established trope by at least 1997. See below.

I just want people to consider that it didn’t have to be one writer, one fic, or one incident that led to the popularization of this piece of fanon. This would have been something people understood right away because it already was culturally out there in the interpretation of the character and in associations with professional women. And like the person asking the question in the above message infers, it probably did come organically from several people at once. 

That said, some 1990s fans actively questioned it, observing it didn’t seem to fit with their interpretation of the show.

Notice that in the below conversation, Scully as ice queen is mixed up in perceptions of GA as ice queen, too. 

(Side note: I mean, you can totally get where that person was coming from, right? Gillian Anderson was TOTALLY giving repressed, cold, virginal saint in 1997.)

As a prolific reader of fanfic, old and new, I think it’s also important to add this: it seems to me that fanfic writers more often made “Ice Queen” a hurtful nickname that Scully was called by other people (like Mulder being called “Spooky”), not an actual characterization of her personality. And actually, especially given her mostly-male workplace, this seems not unrealistic in the 1990s? Some fanfic writers may even have been writing from experience. (At least, I think I'm right in saying that tendency was true. I'd be curious to know if other readers of old fanfic think Scully herself is characterized as an "ice queen" more often than I'm saying.)

I’m an Old Person. I’m ashamed to admit that in the same time period, I had a high school friend who always studied really hard in school and prioritized grades over social life, and sometimes we jokingly called her an “ice queen.” There was no male equivalent term. So unfortunately, I know this was most definitely a thing outside of Scully and the XF fandom. Fortunately, it does seem to be something we see less of in the 2020s. (At least I think?)  I just want to point it out because it’s one of those things you could think was just a little fanon quirk concerning this character or this show when really I do think it’s about gender perceptions overall. 

Very interested to know, though, if others think I'm wrong.

(actual Ice queen)

[deathsbestgirl]

txf twitter threads

diana fowley is the worst and you should hate her <3

gillian anderson + chris carter

david duchovny + chris carter

ddgacc

m+s/relief

pusher

firewalker

millennium kiss

conduit/paper hearts

wotc

wotc2

pilot

tunguska/terma

struggle + skeptic/believer

apollo keychain/thread in a thread (quoted a thread)

fire (mini)

two fathers/one son

names

el mundo gira/never again

cancer arc

they're insane

memento mori (ddga kiss)

jersey devil/all things

til forever falls apart

dance of instead

unruhe (irresistible)

scully hates men

when scully's mad at mulder

x files/fringe crossover

patient x/the red and the black

scully is not normal

what 3 is really about

tiny she's a rebel

field trip

ddga nycc

txf killers

pendrell

mini twitter post (threads, screenshots, mytharc)

hollywood a.d. (having a Great Time)

firewalker/irresistible

m+s/revival

[tallaxia]

Writer James Wong and director David Nutter talking about X-files s01 e13 "Beyond the sea"

Cinefantastique #26 - 1995

“Dana, open yourself up to extreme possibilities only when they’re the truth.”

—Mulder

Beyond the Sea

Gillian Anderson and Scully come into their own in this first-rate script by Glen Morgan and James Wong. Scully’s personal and professional lives collide when, shortly after her father's death, she and Mulder interrogate a psychic death row convict named Boggs (Brad Dourif) who may hold the key to finding a serial killer and his latest victims. In a fascinating twist, Mulder for once is the skeptic, and Scully the unwilling believer, when Boggs claims he can locate the killer—his former partner—as well as give Scully some final words from her father. Director David Nutter drew scorching performances from Dourif. and a deeply moving one from Anderson, whose Scully tries mightily to repress both her grief and her belief, and his orchestration of the prison confrontations is masterful. The sholwhere the door closes behind Anderson, leaving Dourif centered perfectly in a narrow windowframe is quite unforgettable. The teaser is a study in how to communicate family tensions and emotions not spelled out in dialogue. Don Davis and Sheila Larkcn as William and Margaret Scully make an indelible impression.

“Beyond the Sea” originated from a number of sources, one of which, said James Wong, was “a book Glen had read which said that 75 percent of widows within three months have a vision of their husband, and 35 percent of mothers see their sons.” And comments from fans that Scully needed humanizing played their part. “Gillian needed a show to show off her talents,” Wong said. Added Morgan, "It was time to grow Scully’s character, because she was doing the same kind of thing too often.”

The character of Boggs grew out of Morgan’s desire to “do a psychic thing. And you start thinking, well, this guy’s got to have something at stake. Capital punishment was one thing I always wanted to write about.” The network executives were not high on the idea of a Scully/Boggs faceoff, and Chris Carter had to back the idea twice before the they gave the go-ahead. “They said it was too much like SILENCE OF THE LAMBS,” said Morgan, “so in order to not do Hannibal Lecter, this kind of cool intellectual, we had this manic high-strung cracker. I was directly trying not to write Hannibal Lecter.”

Noted director David Nutter, "Brad Dourif came in, and my job there was to create a setting where he could be what he really wanted to be. I would just tweak this and that, but basically I let him have the stage. In a sense, it was a static episode and it was important to let his performance be the moving element. I was also very happy with the work that Gillian and I did together. I thought she really proved herself to be quite a talented actress.”

Religious symbolism is a guiding clement in “Beyond the Sea.” The teaser opens on a Christmas tree angel and the statue of an angel also provides an important clue to locating the serial killer. Mulder's lack of faith in Boggs results in his being shot near a wooden “white cross” which Boggs had warned him about, a contrast to Scully’s evading death when she avoids a painting of a blue devil about which she had received a similar warning. “Scully has that Catholic background,” said Morgan. "I’m not a very organized religious person, but we got a lot of letters from people saying, ‘I need to see my religion portrayed positively.’ So you try to have somebody who was raised with that faith.”

The tattoos on Boggs’ hands which read “kiss” and “kill” are reminiscent of Robert Mitchum’s “love” and “hate” tattoos in NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, but Morgan said that although Mitchum was in the back of his mind, the words themselves came from a song by the band X. “There’s a lyric which says, ‘It’s kiss or kill.’ I was trying to think of something other than love or hate and I thought that was kind of neat.”

[novasjaneway]

I adore thee....

Kate Mulgrew as Kathryn Janeway

Janeway came into my life just this year and she basically wrecked my emotions in the course of a week, FULL SPREAD, no mercy, I never saw her coming, and im loving it! There i was, just minding my own business and then BAM, I'm in deadlock and she's got me feeling so confident and brave because she exhibits so much of these traits herself. Here she is in her 40s and so am I and we've both had alot of life behind us by now so she becomes an amazing mirror to myself as i am today. She's not about to be used as a sex symbol as captain and she's following her own compass in life, ON SCREEN and off, mistakes and all. I'm immediately drawn to her grace, her intellegence, her tomboyish ways. Both Kate and Kathryn had become an inspiration to me. But oh, then in pops Seven of Nine to butt heads with Janeway and her chemistry with this woman is sizzling and she's amazing and they create something so beautiful together. I love her self confidence and determination, her authenticity. Fun fact: According to her memior, her mother called her Kitten Kat when she was a child and that just melts my heart.

Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully

Scully came into my life 26 years ago when I was 15 and she burned in my soul for years to come, still to this day. She seemed so much older to me than she really was, defintley smarter than me, and I fell for her totally. She was THE REASON i loved X-Files. To listen to her talk, to hear her monologues, to watch her agonize over mulder or write her field notes or to rationalize all of mulders crazy suspicions only to turn around and follow him into danger. She showed so much love and devotion for a character who kept herself so guarded. Another mirror to my own at the time. She played the role of faithful skeptic so well that she left an impression on me that led me to quietly take interest in anything she knew. My vocabulary expanded significantly during my teens because I had to know the meaning of every word she uttered. Fun fact: Gillian speaks with an English and American accent and I just love that about her too!

[wilsonpussyindulgence]

extremely 2000's posting but season 8 of the x-files was sooooooo crazy

david duchovny leaves the show to go try to be a movie star, and they bring in famous character actor robert patrick as by-the-book asshole agent doggett (terrible name) as his replacement

they lean back in heavy to monster of the week and shake that up in ever crazier ways, half the episodes are about only scully or about only doggett, and there's an episode told backwards with them in it for only about five minutes total runtime

NOTHING about this should work - the move of scully from skeptic to believer, throwing in another guy who's less attractive and intentionally way less charismatic than mulder, losing THEE dynamic of your leads that makes the show popular, and getting sooooo Wild & Crazy Kids with the very format of your show, and yet -

it fucking slaps. not a single episode is rated in the bottom fifteen worst episodes of the show. it's a complete breath of fresh air i've never seen so late into a show's tenure. gillian anderson gets some real ass shit to sink her teeth into. you're genuinely rooting for doggett and also robert patrick's acting circles around david duchovny (who must have been soooo fucking gagged). it's unhinged. it doesn't make sense. it's an incredible season of television

[invisibleicewands]

Hello! I really love your film/series reviews! Could you provide your insightful look into "A Very Royal Scandal"?

Hi, Anonymous!

Well, thank you in advance for your trust, I'm not sure I can provide an interesting opinion to be honest, but since I've managed to watch it I'll try to tell you my random thoughts.

Honestly, when last year I first read the news of a movie with MS about Prince Andrew I was very skeptical. Not only for the topic, of course, but for the fear it could be a product like Vardy v Rooney.

Now, although I’ve found the movie not so essential (especially after another similar one at the beginning of this year), I think it's one of his best movies of the last decade. Maybe worthy of an award (finally!) with a bit of luck.

I had already seen the Netflix version “Scoop” months ago and I had found it good, well made, catchy. But compared to A Very Royal Scandal, I can say that Emily Maitlis was right saying that the Amazon version is 'another beast'. Not just because Scoop was more focused on Sam McAlister's research of infos about Prince Andrew's scandal than on the interview itself, but because in the Amazon version there is a deeper analysis of the main people involved in this interview, of their thoughts, of their worries, of their mindsets. Let's say that Scoop was more a kind of glossy "Working Girl", while AVRS is a mix of Frost/Nixon in The Crown environment, a real drama.

I really liked the suspence, the storytelling, the photography, the attention to the details. The story is never boring and goes forward flawless, with rythm, wisely built, even if the subject is delicate to handle, and this is not something that is so obvious nowadays. Then, the actors. All impeccable, not just Michael and Ruth but the supporting ones too. If I have to find a fault, I would say that Netflix probably chose actors more aesthetically resembling to the original characters (Keeley Hawes was a better choice for Amanda Thirsk for example), but fortunately this time the talent of the cast managed to compensate that part. Ruth really captured the essence of Emily, her grit, her spirit, her dedication to the work, more than what Gillian had done I think. She was really great, she gave a powerful performance not just as Emily but as a woman in general, brilliantly managing the responsibility of sending a strong message to the audience in the end.

And Michael. A professional as usual, never doubted. He played the role at 360 degrees, unsparingly, using all his art, his tricks and his experience, you can see it. He handled the part masterfully, with confidence, without wavering or shame. He portrayed the character brushing him with all those shades that only him can give. And here lays the problem, for me. The shades. Because even if it was necessary to give a certain meaning to the story, I think his character, Prince Andrew, didn’t deserve or own a so profound introspection (I know, he said he didn’t want to show his judgement about him, but I’m not so merciful, sorry). From this point of view, I found Rufus’ impersonation more suitable to describe the character attitude. Cold, superficial, creepy, rude, arrogant, egomaniac, frustrated, vapid, childish, stubborn and opportunist all at the same time. Maybe it’s because of his cute nose (a prosthetic would have been useful here, more than the weight he gained, true or false it can be…) but honestly Michael gave him a sense of compassion and a frailty that Prince Andrew doesn’t seem to have. The result is that I saw more Michael Sheen than Prince Andrew in this movie. I saw parts of his previous Bill Masters/Brian Clough/Roland Blum/David Frost/Aziraphale there (also a bit of Nye, though I didn’t really watch it) mixed together. Even parts of himself in real life, like during Staged. I could imagine him saying some of those lines in his real life, living some of those reactions for real. He felt so ‘transparent’ in some moments, and this is not a good feeling when you watch an actor in a story like this (funny, because, on the contrary, he said “the more different you look, it really does help psychologically”, so this means that he felt he looked different from himself here, which is not the case to me). I suppose it’s because I’ve seen too much of him now that I’m not able to separate him from the character anymore. Don’t know.

I don’t deny it, his performance was great, brave, perfect and everything, especially considering the effort to make a movie like this while he was preparing for a 4 months long stage tour on theatre. But I can’t say it was a part that left me mouth open, like the one in Dirty Filthy Love, Fantabulosa, Frost/Nixon or MoS, for example.

Anyway, I still hope he gets some recognition (and that Amazon decides to show the series also in Europe), because it’s a crime that international audience can’t see what an amazing quality actor Michael is.

P.S.: There are some lines that looked like easter eggs, specifically chosen by MS. "Wait and see", "Nixon"... Coincidences?

[pjstafford]

Scully’s Journey to All Things

In my current rewatch of The X Files, I have paid closer attention to how episodes which are not considered part of a specific arc and are considered “Stand alone” episodes fit together as if they could be a mini arc of character development.  The season seven episode All things, written by Gillian Anderson, certainly seems like it is the culmination of something important even if, in typical X Files fashion, it is shaded and couched in maybes.  At the end of this season, Scully is pregnant, and the viewer certainly believes it is Mulder’s child.  Many people believe it’s because they consummated their love in this episode. Also, Scully, the skeptic and Catholic, attempts to use holistic medicine to cure a man whom she once loves after praying in a Buddhist temple and having a vision.  How did we get here?  The episode is sometimes criticized that Scully does things out of character.   It is my impression that if we look at the three episodes which precede All Things, we can make an argument that Scully’s journey has intensified to a point to make her decisions in All Things perfectly in character.

It is worth noting that during the filming of season seven, there was widespread speculation that it would be the last season.  Both David Duchovny and Chris Carter had contracts which were ending and David Duchovny was in a lawsuit with Fox over syndication rights. It must have been a difficult task between trying to bring an epic, beloved series to a successful closure while, also, leaving the opportunity open for additional seasons.  The series did continue, but season seven does have the specter of the end hanging over it.  

Mulder had always been on a quest for the truth of what happened to his sister.  He gets that in the episode 11 “Closure.”  What has Scully been on a quest for? She was assigned to provide scientific analysis of Mulder’s work and began to believe in his work while always trying to use a scientific method.  She has seen things which tested her faith but has always returned to her Catholic upbringing.  She has been tempted to leave the X Files, but stays and there is no doubt about her devotion and commitment to Mulder. There is, also, no doubt that she has been annoyed by his inability to maintain a work/life balance.  The will they/ won’t they dynamic has been drawn out too long but in Millenium there was a New Year’s kiss and they certainly have seemed a bit more flirtatious in this season which some fans have called “The Season of Secret Sex.” 

Theef is a an episode where Mulder and Scully continue their flirtatiousness and, also, where she is more open to extreme opportunities.  Initially she questions Mulder as she has so many times about why the case is an X-File.  The fact that Mulder and Scully joke about the expectation that she is going to ask him indicates that in this episode there might be a shift.  Quickly she pivots to “hex-craft.  I’ll buy that as the intent here.”  Does she mean it or is she teasing Mulder when she follows up with “I’ll always leave you guessing”? Regardless of her openness at the point of that conversation, Scully goes temporarily blind in this episode due to voodoo magic.  The last scene shows Scully questioning whether or not Peattie could have saved his daughter’s life even though medical science could do no more than ease her pain. That is quite the shift for Scully and leads to Mulder saying under his breath, after she leaves the room, “You do keep me guessing.”  This is an aside because I have to - the way in which Mulder says this line rises to a new level of yearning and appreciation.  

Theef leads so well into En Ami.  This is another episode where if there is a delay between watching the episodes, a viewer might scratch their head and wonder why, why, why would Scully run away with the villain of the show. “Thee f” has made Scully question her faith in traditional medicine.  The cancer man offers her information which is the cure for all cancer and she is aware that her cancer was cured by a mysterious chip in the back of her neck.  She would never happen have left with CSM if she was not at an odd crossroads in her life, but people do odd, out of character, risky things when at odd crossroads in their life.  Also in En Ami, the cancer men talks about how he has “studied her for years...you’ve drawn to powerful men, but you fear their power.”  In All Things we will become aware of another powerful man in Scully’s life she walked away from.  It is not unreasonable to think the CSM knew about this part of her life as well.  

Chimera is an episode which forces Mulder to experience domestic life and its unpleasant aspect.  It is a Mulder focused episode.  It is important to note though that Scully is in a stakeout and is unhappy about the assignment.  She solves the case without Mulder’s assistance, but it probably leads to her feeling so out of sorts at the beginning of All Things.  

So these are the three preceding episodes with which we arrive at All Things.  

We begin with Scully getting dressed in Mulder’s bathroom while Mulder lies naked in his bed.  (We will come back to this).  The voice over is important.  Scully is pondering her life decisions big and small.  The next scene is 63 hours earlier.  

The scene is in the basement office with yet another slide show and Mulder trying to get Scully interested in crop circles.  It reminds me of Never Again where the agents aren’t in a heated argument, they are just not in rhythm.  (One of my favorite parts of this episode is the emphasis on rhythms of life like ticks of the clock).  Scully is done.  She is, perhaps, still fatigued from Chimera.  She has just done an autopsy.  She has no interest in going with Mulder to England to see crop circles.  The fact that Mulder simply shrugs, says he will cancel her ticket, and still plans on going emphasizes their differences and what her life will be like if she continues with him in her life.  

Then we have the coincidences of life stepping in.  On her way to the hospital to pick up autopsy results there is a mixed up in the envelopes and she finds out an once powerful man she loved is in the hospital seriously ill.  Along the way in this episode she will administer life-saving medicine to him only to see him in a coma.  We find out that he was married, she was his student in medical school and that she left.  She is forced to consider the life she might have had if she had stayed.   Is that the life she wants now?  The life she would never have with Mulder.  On the other hand a part of her wants to walk away from Mulder.  What will she regret then? What is the right path?   Then, there are a bunch of other coincidences and occurrences.  Eventually she ends up with a holistic healer trying to bring Dnaiel back out of his coma.  He comes out.  Perhaps it was her holistic help, but Daniel, the doctor says no.  I think this decision to try a different approach goes right back to Theef and the recognition that modern medicine is not all and that in En Ami she was willing to take dangerous steps to find other paths.  It’s in character for her at this point in her life. It might be out of character in another week.

Back to the Mulder and Scully relationship and did they have sex in All Things.  I say it doesn’t matter.  Maybe.  Maybe not.   She was asleep on the couch at the end of the episode.  Why was she in the bathroom?  He only has one and she needed to go first thing in the morning before she leaves?  Why was he naked?  its his place, its how he sleeps, Scully has seen him nude before.   To me what is more significant is that they have begun a serious conversation about their life together and all they mean together, She has made a decision.  One which he was just waiting for her to make. 

[unreal-unearthing]

This may be just a function of the fact that I started watching x files for the first time around the same time I started watching nancy drew, but does Kennedy McMann (the actress who plays Nancy) look a lot like a young Gillian Anderson? Maybe it’s reddish hair and the skeptic-turned-reluctant-believer role they both occupy in their respective first season but…..

[navsstuff]

Yuucas post Canon hcs pt 2

After a whole lot of skepticism Lucas finally agreed to get a bionic prosthetic for his arm, as they were getting the money Yuugo stole a mannequins arm to gift Lucas for his birthday as they were getting broke trying to get the real deal

Gillian helped attaching it with tape