#girl!lando

[bmondza]

Girl! Landoscar

(Cookie for anyone who finds the little easter eggs)

[mctwinkdom]

Omfg your essay on your rule 63 Landoscar I think I died and went to heaven it was soooo good!!! So the way you described each of the girls in the verses is how they are in your lesbian fic? Seriously can’t wait to read your girl versions of these boys it’s legit CHEFS KISSSSS

Thank you!!! And indeed, the way I described girl!Lando and girl!Oscar in my essay is roughly how they are in my lesbian fic (Lando's a bit more masc and a damn pervert, Oscar is a bit of a comp'het, and they're both losers but endearingly I think).

As for visuals... forgive me for using faceapp but I don't know how to edit pics better than this. Here's a vague idea of how I see them (too much makeup on Lando but it's not too bad)

(they fuck nasty at the end)

[freeuselandonorris]

I wish you’d write a follow up to the girl!Lando squirting universe bc them being unhinged and horny is just peak writing

unhinged and horny, you say? i got u bb 🫡 happy friday everyone x

some girls you wanna see shiver

(girl!lando/oscar, 3.8k, explicit)

She’d been dreaming, that was the issue. Right before her fucking phone alarm had started beeping incessantly and torn her out of it. Dreaming of Oscar. His hands, his mouth. His whole body, really. The things it’s capable of.

It’s not like she can come in her sleep or anything — she’d had a friend who could do that, back in high school, like a girl version of wet dreams, and she’s always been jealous of it — but she’d been turned on as hell. The bed had been so warm and soft around her, the memory of Oscar holding his body over hers, three fingers deep and breathing hard into her mouth so vivid she swore she could feel the ghost imprint of his skin against hers. If she’d had the time, it would have only taken her a few minutes to get herself off.

But she didn’t. Because she had to get up. For a fucking 9am comms strategy meeting.

Max always tells her off when she says things like this meeting could’ve been an email, says those memes are for the poor fuckers with real jobs, but Lando doesn’t care. She could’ve stayed in bed and jerked off, and now she can’t, and she can already tell she’s going to be making it everyone else’s problem.

read more at AO3 (archive-locked 🔒)

[wisteriagoesvroom]

For the girl!Lando ask a word that should definitely be in there: eyes.

set in an engineering meeting, and oscar is distracted…

———————

Oscar exhales sharply through his nose. The rest of the room’s been waiting for him to answer.

“You always make that noise when you’re stressed. Am I stressing you out?” Lando asks.

“Nope.”

“So are you following?”

Right. The team. Engineering upgrades. Fighting for a potential championship. Over two decades since the last one, if you don’t count ‘08. A drought longer than the time he’s been alive.

The team’s been good this season, momentum building from the last, but still, not good enough. Lando, in her fifth year, is pushing the team to be more than good enough. There’s a reason why they’re all here.

Focus, Oscar tells himself.

“Yeah. Think we’d be fine with that front wing adjustment. Reduce the drag into turn 5.”

Lando narrows her eyes, satisfied. Acid retreating a bit. “Good, good.”

No. Oscar thinks to himself. This is actually not good. Very, very not good.

—————

thank u for asking lo!!

[f1-disaster-bi]

I would imagine Lando ending up getting hurt or to hospital because of Gabriel, or ending up getting hit and that's where George comes to rescue

Ooo those are definietly some good options!

I know I've posted some backstory little prompts before about Lando and Gabriel and the way he treated her, and how George hated him. So did Alex, but Alex was more focused on Lando while George actually did try to confront Gabriel about the way he treated Lando.

If he saw them together again, and saw Gabriel being rough or rude with Lando, and Lando just...taking it, George would absolutely see red because again, he knows he has no rights after he fucked up but he still loves Lando and cares for her and he won't let her be treated like shit

[ham1lton]

ik lando is somewhere steaming like ‘why is jude bellingham allowed to hit on yn without lewis terrorizing him in the comments’ 😔😔😔

author’s note: the second spinoff from dream girl!! also judeyn. assistant yn is actually so fun for me to write! i’m glad you all seem to enjoy it!!

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, maxverstappen1 and 98,728 others.

yourusername: assistant duties 😒

view all 23,887 comments

user4: roscoe ate in that pic. his model era.

-> yourusername: the true influencer <3

yourbestie: not the emoji 😭

-> yourusername: girl i hate working 😔 i’m looking for a man in finance.

-> landonorris: what about a man in f1?

-> lewishamilton: reported this comment for harassment btw.

-> landonorris: WHY???? 😭😭😭😭

-> lewishamilton: felt like it.

user1: yn ur so sexy

user2: my fav f1 assistant !!!!

-> user3: do you even know any other assistants 😭

judebellingham: 😍😍

-> landonorris: lewishamilton HOW COME HE CAN SAY THAT AND NOT GET REPORTED ??????

-> lewishamilton: just cause.

-> user5: side bitches beefing with other side bitches 😭😭 coleslaw vs potato salad 😂

judebellingham: gorgeous girl 🫶🏾

-> yourusername: gorgeous boy 🥰

-> landonorris: NO LEWIS???

-> landonorris: 😒

user6: yn can u adopt me

-> yourusername: no sorry. kids are too permanent and i like to cut people off fr.

lewishamilton: did you finish the list of things to do?

-> yourusername: … yes?

-> lewishamilton: you’re playing the sims again aren’t you.

-> yourusername: i made a mini you!! and a mini roscoe!!!

-> lewishamilton: after you show me, you’re fired. then you’re rehired tomorrow at seven.

[oscarcito]

Drive to Survive S6E10

[lexiegreynorris]

lando norris x girl bestfriend!reader texts

⭐ you and lando are back at being each other's annoying friend! how exciting!

⭐ i am back? idk yet but i’m so excited to at least post something after weeks of being MIA hehe. i hope you like ‘em! like and reblog if you do! ✧⁠*｡♡

lexiegreynorris ©

[bmondza]

Landoscar and Lestappen at the red carpet ✨

[mctwinkdom]

Would you write Landoscar rule 63 where only one is a girl? What would that verse look like for you if you did?!

As you may know, I'm currently writing landoscar rule 63 where they're both girls. But only one of them being a girl? Hm... I won't say never, because if I get the motivation for it, why not! but it's not planned as I've never written a heterosexual relationship before lmao

I still have a very clear idea about them as girls so here's my essay about both verses :

With girl!Lando:

I really, really want to explore the idea of a masculine girl Lando, with short curly hair and a idgaf attitude. She dresses masc and baggy on normal days, especially on the paddock, but she wears tight leggings and shorts when she works out and can body a dress at social events like she's a full time model.

She's the same height (because I don't see the point in making girl versions smaller... 1m75 is not unrealistic for a girl) and has the same musculature as irl boy Lando, only with a smaller waist (if that's possible) and small tits, which means she can't be bothered with bras and she gets harshly criticized by the media when her nipples are visible through her fireproofs or her team polos but she doesn't careeee, she loves pissing the media and the macho fans off. Oscar feels Hella guilty about stealing way too many looks at her chest and the way her hips sways when she walks. Girl!Lando is quite the revelation for him since he has to admit being very much attracted to muscles on girls. He's also wrestling with the fact all his instincts wants to protect girl!Lando, to defend her, to shield her from any negative comment, but he feels silly and sexist for it because he knows she's strong enough to stand on her own, she has been standing proud and brave for years now, way before he was even in F1, and she certainly doesn't need his protection or help.

Except she does, but not in the way he expected. With Carlos and Daniel, she always made sure to be as loud as them, as bright as them, so she wasn't made to be small and helpless next to them. But with Oscar, she learns to let her guard down, she lets herself be quiet and soft. She lets him do things for her, even as small as opening snacks or water bottles, not because she can't, but because she knows Oscar doesn't see it as a sign of weakness but of trust.

She's very flirty in nature and she relishes in the way Oscar gets flustered by it. She loves how level-headed and composed Oscar is, how smart he is despite being a pure idiot sometimes when he fails to see the first clues she's clearly interested in him, and she loves how she can make him laugh so easily. Oscar loves how lively and adventurous Lando is, how quick and witty her answers are, how silly and utterly stupid she can be sometimes.

It's a long relationship of mutual respect and admiration turning into fondness and trust before they can develop feelings for each other. Girl!Lando waits for him to take the first step but Oscar can be fcking dense sometimes and he fears to make her uncomfortable so she eventually has to pin him to the wall and kiss him square on the mouth to put a end to this cat and mouse game they have going on, and it all clicks into place from there, Lando fitting perfectly into Oscar's big arms and against his broad chest. Girl!Lando both consciously and unconsciously wants to challenge gender norms in her everyday life but she has to face it... she loves being the little spoon. And she whines about Oscar having a better ass than her.

She's also a raging bisexual, and she hates that the media speculates on her sexuality and sometimes goes as far as assuming she's a lesbian only because of her short hair and because she's an agressive driver. She had one girlfriend before, very private relationship because she doesn't feel like being out. Not before she accomplishes what she wants in her career. She comes out to Oscar, though, before they get together and it's a big deal for her because, among the drivers, only Max and Carlos know about it, and Oscar is so happy she trusts him enough to tell him.

NSFW // she's a lot more vanilla that Oscar was expecting for some reason. Very high sex drive though. She doesn't give blowjobs, arguing she's too much of a fussy eater to take a whole dick in her mouth. Oscar is fine with it because she gives the best handjobs known to man and because she rides him like a pro. He loves how confident she is in her body, how she wears Victoria Secret lingerie beneath her baggy masculine clothes, and how she gets all soft and whiny and clingy when Oscar pushes into her. She doens't like it rough and Oscar is a gentle lover so they work perfectly together <3

With girl!Oscar: girly Oscar is... basically the same bloke as irl boy Oscar if we're being honest lmao. She has long wavy hair, falling below her shoulders, but she can't be bothered with combing it, barely making the effort to tie it into a low lazy ponytail before putting on her racing gear. She then has the audacity to complain about her hair getting tangled. She's tall for a girl and is a bit insecure about it. She secretly loves when female fans call her "mommy" on social media because of her thick thighs and big breasts. She fcking hates it when male fans do it. Except one. Well he's not really a fan. He's her overly excited puppy temmate. He doesn't call her mommy of course but Oscar is not stupid, she can see him glancing at her boobs and her ass when she's wearing shorts, which is often. Lando doesn't quite feel guilty about it because he convinced himself he's not being a pervert if he doesn't look more than 10 seconds at a time.

Girl!Oscar is obviously very strong, she has the same dry humor and laid back attitude as irl Oscar, she's very calm and rarely complains on the radio. She fcking hates when male fans compliment her composed personality because she knows they would find a way to be sexist if she was only 10 % more expressive and they only like her because she's naturally reserved and doesn't complain and that's what they want if a woman is in F1: for her to be quiet. And she fcking hates it, she hates it so much, but it's her personality and she won't change it to prove a point, so instead she does what she does best: she interacts with other drivers in a joking manner, she throws subtle shots at other teams (one in particular), she makes her quietness a strenght in the way she doesn't get shaken by anything happening on and off the track, proving everyone how strong and unflappable she is, more mature than a lot of older more experienced drivers. Lando admires her a lot for it.

At first, he saw Oscar as a weird specimen. He didn't meet a lot of strong girls before, and he got a bit grumpy when he realized she's a bit taller than him (that will change quickly). The thing is... he tragically doesn't know how to act around Oscar. He's used to date models, skinny girls with great hair and nice clothes. Oscar... Oscar doesn't really take care of her appareance: she dresses practical instead of flattering, she doesn't wear makeup, doesn't style her hair, she's the most natural girl Lando has ever met and he's going slightly Feral about it. The way he's attracted to Oscar is so primal and strong and blinding it scares him a bit sometimes.

Oscar herself is very embarrassed about her own crush on Lando. She's been crushing on him for years, since they were teens. She's so infatued with Lando she laughs at everything he says and then gets embarrassed when she watches the clips on twitter and fans teases her about her "heart eyes" and "zendaya laugh". She does kick her feet when she sees interviews where Lando publicly praises her, and she still blushes on camera when Lando calls her "Osc" or "Osco". She feels like a basic bitch when he sports the fuckboy look and she likes it a bit too much. The problem is, she's not as unbothered as people believe when she's alone and safe, and she has a lot more insecurities that she leads on, so she sadly doesn't think Lando would ever be interested in her, considering his dating history. So she locks her feelings away and simply tries to be a good teammate and a good driver and maybe a good friend. She's not stupid enough to ignore Lando's eyes on her, of course, but she assumes it's normal, just a boy looking at boobs because that's what boys do. However she is stupid enough to not realize how Lando treats her incredibly gently, how he softens his voice when he talks to her, how he trusts her entirely and really cares about her opinions and wants to spend more time with her and get to know her.

It's a classic case of "she fell first but he fell harder". Even if it's only physical attraction at first, Lando quickly gets enamored because she's so smart and gentle and confident in her own skills and that's super hot. She makes him feel calmer, more relaxed, and he wants to keep her close all his life.

Cliche straight relationship from here: Lando asks her out, not really saying it's a date but it totally is and he wears a fcking suit to drive her to an expensive restaurant, and Oscar wants to die from embarrassment because she completely misunderstood the situation and she's wearing fcking jeans and sneakers, so Lando pours some wine on his white shirt: that way they both look ridiculous and out of place and they laugh about it so much together and they sloppily make out in Lando's car afterwards like a couple of horny teenagers and they live happily ever after yada yada yada.

NSFW // they're more kinky than girl!lando and boy!oscar for some reason. Girl!Oscar is not necessarily insecure about her body but she's not confident about it either, so she really feels the heat when Lando spends hours worshipping her body from top to bottom, and praises her constantly about how pretty and cute and hot she is. He's very much obsessed with her boobs, always find a way to stick his face in between, he also loves eating her out even when Oscar is shy about it at first and it takes him a few weeks to convince Oscar to sit on his face. He almost dies from happiness there (and suffocation but he doesn't tell Oscar not to freak her out so she continues to ride his tongue more and more confindently). When he asks her if he can f*ck her in the ass, she thinks she's so smart for replying "only if I can f*ck you in the ass, too", but the problem is: Lando is like "yeah why not" and poor Osc didn't plan for this so she gets incredibly shy again and it takes them months to get there. It's a lot of experimenting and kinks exploration with those two, and they have a lot of fun with it! They don't like everything but that's okay, because they're grossly in love and always find a way to make each other feel good.

I love my girls man......... Like I said, it's unlikely I wrote any of it but! girl!Lando and girl!Oscar are eating each other's pussy as we speak, so. Yeah.

[freeuselandonorris]

good game

Fuck, it’s been too long.

Alright, it’s been six days, but that — that feels like forever, when she’s premenstrual and aching for it, feeling blood-hot and swollen inside. What’s wrong with that dildo I bought you, Oscar had asked yesterday via text when she’d whined about it. And the ridiculously expensive vibrator, can’t they do the job? 

No. They can’t. Not like Oscar can.

— good game (rated explicit, 2340 words)

hey you know i said i might write a sequel to the girl!lando squirting porn? yeah, i did.

cw for rule 63, squirting, wet clothes, sexting/sending explicit videos in semi-public settings, general elements of kink in public (but not in a way the public could notice).

[wisteriagoesvroom]

'sizzle' ! and if that's not there then 'sizzling' ! and if that's not there then 'kombucha' . or 'iron' ? 😘🥰 (and if all else fails: 'soft' ! )

hello most precious xiaoluclair! i surprisingly didn't have "iron" in the girl!lando draft but i do have "ironic"?

----------

“They named me Lando because it means tall hill, apparently.” Right. They’d been talking about names. Or rather, Lando had plopped herself down next to Oscar, and launched into a think-aloud about the origins of place and personal names, with no preamble.  It’s kind of nice, actually, Oscar thinks. That Lando considers herself comfortable enough with him to do that.  “Ironic, innit.” Lando continues. She likes to slip into South London slang sometimes completely unprovoked. Oscar is not entirely sure why. “‘Cus I’m short.” There is a pause, which Oscar recognises is where he’s supposed to be offering something in the conversation.  “Oscar means friend of a deer. Or something.” “Or something. Such a man of words.” “My A-Levels were all science, alright?” “Nerd. Anyway, doesn’t that make me the deer?” Lando mimes antlers, wriggling her fingers.  Oscar blinks. “We’re friends now?”

----------

(this is me surfacing from editing to post yet another snippet, and who knows where we're at with the overall story, because i keep going back in wanting to add stuff. but i think we're getting somewhere... gradually...)

[f1-disaster-bi]

Girl au, yes Lando's ex coming back after George fucks up! Lando losing herself a bit there and the ex manipulates him? Perhaps it's George who saves her

That's along what I was thinking! 👀

Lando being vulnerable after what happens with George, and when she meets Gabriel again, maybe she starts to think he was right in what he said to her. Maybe he apologises for the cheating and toxic behaviour and maybe she decides to give him another chance because "I might be remember wrong. It wasn't that bad with Gabriel" (it was but rose tinted glasses...)

George wouldn't even be heartbroken seeing her with him, he'd just be worried for her. He remembers what she told him while drunk on her birthday. He remembers how Gabriel treated Lando like an object to control and not a person, and he knows he fucked up. He knows he has no right to tell Lando it's a bad idea, but he would 100% try be there and chase Gabriel away while going "I'm not doing this to get you to forgive me. I'm not doing this to fix things. I'm doing this because you deserve better, and I can't watch him hurt you again. I have no right to say any of this, I know that, but you deserve better"

[lunarlando]

girl dad lando doing his babygirl's hair (she has his curls for sure hehe)!! he struggles a little but does a decent job at the end ~ maybe following a tutorial video or wifey is guiding him but creative freedom to you ❤️

so cute, thanks for the request! x

feel free to request more :)

“You’re in charge of one thing before we have to leave for brunch with your family.” 

Lando glances up from where he's laid out on the carpet tickling a wildly giggling Estelle to see you with your hands on your hips. 

You’re still one of the many shirts of his that you’ve resorted to using as pajamas since your currently seven month pregnant belly has popped, and you’re looking at him very pointedly, but he still smiles fondly at the sight of you. It’s just an unconscious thing that his face does, that it’s been doing since the day he met you. 

“Mama!” Estelle squeals, pointing at you excitedly. 

“Hi, my darling!” You wiggle your fingers at her, beaming at your little girl with enthusiasm.

“What’ve you got for me, babe?” 

“Be the best husband ever and do your daughter’s hair.” 

“Pretty sure I already am the best husband ever, but alright. Reckon her hair looks just fine the way it is, don’t you think?” He aims a sideways glance towards the toddler. Estelle’s hair is an exact replica of her father’s, tight curls that like to do whatever they want, as evident by the tornado of brown framing her chubby cheeks at the moment. Lando smacks his lips together, bobbing his head understandingly. “Yeah, okay, I’ll try my best.” 

“Thank you, love.” 

He scoops Estelle off the floor with an over-exaggerated grunt, climbing to his feet with her slung over his shoulder the way she always loves to be held by him. She shakes with peals of cute toddler giggles, patting him on the back surprisingly firm for a one year old, making him groan. “Woah, you’re getting so big and strong, Stell! C'mon, let’s go do your hair.” 

You press a grateful kiss to his cheek as he passes you, booping Estelle’s nose playfully before they make their way down the hall to the bathroom. 

Lando sets Estelle down on the bathroom counter, squinting at the items you’ve left next to the sink for him. A few combs, a small brush, a tiny water mister thing that he has no idea what to do with. 

As if you sense he’s confused, you call from the bedroom, “D’you need some help getting started?” 

“No, no. I’ve got this,” He calls back, grabbing a comb off the counter. “Dada’s got this, doesn’t he, lovebug?” 

Estelle is too preoccupied with looking at herself in the mirror to hear him, though if she did, she probably would’ve said no. He has no idea how to do her hair. Sure, he knows how to do his own hair (barely), and hers is similar to his, but it’s different. 

He pulls up the photo album he’s got on his phone of pictures of Estelle—ones he’s taken, ones you’ve sent him whilst he was away—hoping one of them will help him draw inspiration for today’s look. 

One that particularly catches his eye is a photo from the mini holiday you all took during summer break a few months ago, where Estelle’s springy curls are pulled into two bunches towards the top of her head. From what he remembers, those bunches quickly ended up smeared with applesauce, but they were adorable while they lasted. 

“Think this might be the one, how ‘bout you?” Lando turns the phone towards Estelle, showing her the photo. She aims a gummy smile at him, wiggling around happily. “Yeah, s’cute, innit? Alright, here we go.”

—

“Babe, would you c’mere for a second?” 

Lando’s voice rings out from the bathroom after twenty minutes of silence, save for the occasional giggle. You’re all done getting ready, and as much as you want to pop your head in to see what’s happening, you’ll give your husband the benefit of the doubt. You pad down the hallway as fast as your pregnancy waddle will let you, not knowing what to expect. 

“How’s it going in here, my loves?” 

Lando stands back with his hands propped on his hips, head tilted. “I think I did pretty decent, no?” 

Estelle’s got two tiny sort of space buns on her head, a little messy, but better than you were expecting, given Lando’s inexperience. She leans in your direction upon laying eyes on you, making grabby hands at you until you scoop her up. You shift her in your arms so she can see herself in the large mirror. 

“Look, baby! Who’s that over there?” You coo encouragingly, pointing at her in the mirror with a big smile. Estelle mumbles something unintelligible, patting herself on the chest happily. “That’s right, it’s you! Dada did a fantastic job with your hair, didn’t he? You look so cute!” 

Lando tosses the comb he’s holding behind his back and up over his shoulder, catching it and pretending to run it through his own curls in one smooth motion. “Call me Stell’s personal professional hairstylist.” 

He’s serious about it too, giving a straight face until you manage to come up with a response. 

“Is the racing not working out for you? Had to find another job?” You joke, chuckling lightly. He scoffs, bumping your hip with his. You reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek, then hold Estelle up too. “Give dada a kiss?” 

Estelle knows the word kiss very well. Execution, not so much, but she tries her best as she plants what has to be the world’s wettest kiss to Lando’s cheek too. A younger Lando might’ve wiped the slobber away immediately, but dad Lando has no problem with it. He’s changed a lot since his younger days, especially since becoming a first time parent. 

You’re both still navigating that journey together, but you’ll have a year and then some more experience once baby girl number two makes her arrival in t-minus two months time. But for now, you’ll cherish every moment with Estelle before your focus is split between two kids. 

“Oh, thank you for the kiss, lovebug!” Lando chirps, booping her nose gently. “Usually I’d charge top dollar for a mint hairdo like this, but I’ll take that as payment since you’re so cute. You get it from your mum, don’t ya?” 

“I dunno about that,” You hum, leaning into him. “Her dad’s pretty cute too.” 

You don’t have it in you to tell him one of Estelle’s bunches sits higher than the other, not when he’s smiling down so proudly at the two of you like you’re his world.

[ham1lton]

YN on tiktok: hey guys! can you watch my boss for a sec? Lewis: 🤨

author’s note: omg spinoff four. i promised to take a break. i apologise 😔 feel free to send more scenarios/ships u wanna see with assistant yn! i might even start doing texts as well as these mini ig posts. whatever you guys think is best.

liked by bestie, maxverstappen1 and 873,213 others.

yourusername: lewis be like ‘yn get off that damn phone, stop taking pictures of me and go do your job!’ but he doesn’t even know i run a successful ig page with tons of hot sexy bad bitches who follow me.

view all 20,737 comments

user1: girl do u ever do your job? 😭

-> yourusername: yes ofc i do. looking after my baby roscoe and ignoring the other guy, whatshisface.

-> lewishamilton: yn…

-> yourusername: i know… fired again 😔

maxverstappen1: you look gorgeous.

-> yourusername: i appreciate this, but i post for the bad bitches only.

-> maxverstappen1: i am the bad bitch you speak of.

-> yourusername: my bad 😔💔

bestie: i look so cute in the second picture fr 🥰

-> yourusername: ur always sexy bae 😍

user3: where did u get that shirt omggg!! so cute!!

-> yourusername: stole it from lando’s closet. that’s why it’s so small on me.

oscarpiastri: i took that second photo btw 📸

-> yourusername: we know, and we love you for it.

-> oscarpiastri: 😁

user2: i am one of yn’s sexy bad bitches 😍

*liked by yourusername.*

user4: ROSCOE PIC!

user5: lewis looks so cute in that pic 🥺

-> yourusername: don’t let the babygirl appearance fool you.

user6: where is jude???

user8: i miss seeing yn and george interact 😔

-> user9: all she did was bully him and flirt with his girlfriend??

-> user8: exactly 😔

user10: i love your tiktoks!! lewis’ face when you put the camera in front of him was hilarious.

-> user11: he was like ‘yn wtf u making me do now??’ 😭 he is sick of her shenanigans

-> user12: no literally 😭😭 she be putting his ass through it. you’d think she was the merc admin.

-> user13: don’t disrespect her like that omg. that shady ass admin.

*liked by yourusername.*

user7: are her and lewis dating?

-> yourusername: lewis said if i start dating rumours i’m fired but i think i’d be a sexy wag 😍 we’re not dating though. that man signs my paychecks x

-> user7: you’re a prostitute?

-> lewishamilton: NO. she’s my assistant. stop letting people think we’re in some sort of pretty woman relationship yourusername

-> yourusername: but it’s fun 😔 and i’m bored 😔

-> landonorris: you wouldn’t be bored with me yn

-> yourusername: not now lando

-> landonorris: sorry 😔

[satoryuuu]

I REALLY NEED NICO ROSBERG TO GET HIS FKING ASS BACK INTO THE COMMENTARY BOX BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH ANOTHER F1 RACE LIKE AUSTRIA GP 2024, I WILL RIOT IF I DO NOT HAVE AN UNHINGED BRITNEY TO TETHER ME