#girl is just straight up constantly lying??

[rain-harmonia]

stop forgiving alexstrasza. come on blizzard. you can’t keep giving us characters that she’s wronged and then wave your hands and make them get along

[donatellawritings]

rafe w a brat that he needs to teach how to behave!!

i love love love this scenario :3

usually, you were rafe’s sweet girl, always stretching your swollen lips into a doll-like smile, well behaved, and constantly eager to please and be tended to by rafe. you were naturally submissive to him, much thanks to your slight age-gap and the stark contrast between his undying need to be ‘the man’ and your desire to nurture rafe and one day, become a trophy wife. however, there were times where you would slip a bit too deep into your spoiled side, you had grown accustomed to having rafe’s undivided attention and you’d fallen into a damaging pattern to where you simply assumed that his answer to your every request would be ‘yes’. so, on the rare occasion where you didn’t get what you want, your smile would fall into an entitled frown, your usually bright doe eyes squinting into an annoyed gaze. you played the spoiled little princess role with ease, it was easy for your normally sweet to fall sour when you didn’t get your way.

this time, you’d fallen into a needy headspace, you were obnoxiously whiny and filled with an attitude that made rafe want to knock you upside you pretty little head, but he’d been uncharacteristically calm towards you, brushing off your bitchy demeanor with light taps of his hand against your ass, or chaste kisses to your forehead. rafe could handle you, so much so that it furthered your frustrations, you knew that you could get away with pushing his patience for so long. truth be told, you were just overly needy, maybe it was your hormones skyrocketing from your impending menstrual cycle, but you just couldn’t seem to want to pull yourself away from rafe.

you watched with a displeased frown as rafe adjusted his rolex to fasten securely around his wrist, a concentrated frown now worn on his handsome face as he buttoned up his white dress-shirt. rafe’s bright blues fell on yours as you watched him through the mirror, your swollen lips pulled into an entitled pout as you aimlessly scrolled on your phone, “cut it out already, y’know i have to go to work today — been with you all weekend,” rafe scolded, leaving the top two notches on his shirt unbuttoned. wordlessly, you rolled your eyes with a huff, crossing your arms against your chest as you tossed your phone aside.

“then just go already,” you sighed, your swollen and sensitive breasts expanding against your nude scoop neck bralette as you licked over your dior glossed lips. bratty tears were quick to well in your eyes as you blinked your wispy eyelashes together. a breath of frustration could he heard from rafe as he walked towards the side of the bed where you laid, your eyes glazed over as you stared at the ceiling. “i don’t wanna talk to you,” you whined, lying straight through your pearly whites.

rafe was quick to pinch your cheeks together as he held a bruising grip on your jaw, roughly pulling your face to meet his gaze, “m’gonna knock you the fuck out, quit it already,” he threatened, mushing your cheeks further as you fell short at pulling your face from his tight hold. you mumbled incoherently, your lipgloss smearing, causing rafe to release your jaw, lightly slapping your cheek, “such a spoiled fuckin’ girl,” he muttered, his eyes softening at the sight of two fat tears rolling down your concealed underye, leaving a mascara tinted stream to stain your puffy cheeks.

your matching nude boy shorts rode up into the crease where your thighs and hips met as you hastily stood from the bed, your face instantly meeting rafe’s clothed chest as you lightly shoved him, “go away,” you sniffled, much to no avail as rafe caught both of your wrists, harshly shaking you as you refused to allow your gaze to meet his. you knew that you were being difficult, but you had a rough week with grueling exams — you needed a good fuck to knock you back into normalcy.

“hey-hey! the fuck is goin’ on with you?” rafe shouted, gripping your wrists tighter as you tried to snatch yourself away from his grip. a small cry seeped out of your plump lips as you forced your eyes closed, “y’wanna be a fuckin’ brat, makin’ me late for work — hitting me, yeah?” he moved both of your wrists into one of his hands, unbuckling his leather belt with his free hand as you stood silently, staring at your baby pink toenails.

“papi, i-”

rafe sighed, a non-verbal way of shutting you up as his belt felt to the floor, “can’t believe that my girl, my sweet girl is fuckin’ hitting me now — bend over and keep your arms behind you,” he spat, hastily shoving your wrists out of his tight hold, keeping his eyes away from your tear soaked ones as you meekly spun around, your back now facing rafe as you bent over, crossing your arms behind your back. “i should smack the shit out of you, actin’ like y’dont know who the fuck i am,” rafe continues his rant, kicking your legs apart as he roughly wrapped the leather belt around your wrists, notching it tightly.

fisting his hand into your curled hair, rafe tanked your head up, bringing his lips to your ear, “y’gonna take this shit like my good girl, i don’t give a fuck if you cry — y’understand me?” he spoke sternly, tugging at your hair once more to garner a verbal answer from you.

“i understand, papi,” you cried, your voice wobbly as rafe abruptly let go of your hair, leaving your dolled up face to fall against the comforter, a small squeak leaving your smeared lips as you watched rafe shake his head in disproval.

“i understand, papi — now she remembers who i am, fuckin’ brat,” rafe mutters, mocking your pout as he grabs the band of your seamless boyshorts, pulling them down your legs, leaving them to pool around your ankles as his large hands spread your plush ass cheeks apart, spitting a glob of saliva to your eager hole, before messily spreading the slick around with his fingers. your body jolted as his slick fingers smeared his spit around your puckered asshole, a muffled moan escaping your throat, “should fuck your ass, maybe you’ll calm the fuck down,” he groaned, freeing his hard cock from his briefs, slowly dragging his thick mushroom tip across your folds.

silently, you bit down into the lush comforter, a garbled cry escaping through your clenched teeth as rafe pressed his leaking tip into your puckered hole, “fuck, s’too big,” you mewled into the comforter, your watery mascara and sticky lipgloss smearing against the fabric as dug your french manicured nails into the leather of rafe’s belt.

rafe’s eyes fluttered closed as he filled your tight ass to the hilt, his stomach tight as you swallowed him whole, the tips of your nails ghosting against his hips as you ached to touch rafe, “keep your fuckin’ hands down,” he huffed through parted lips, his hand forcing your restrained wrists to remain firmly placed against your lower back, earning a throaty sob from you as he sent a harsh thrust into the plush of your ass.

once your tight hole became comfortably stretched around rafe’s length, your cries subsided into smiley moans as rafe pushed your head further into the mattress, “look at you — fuckin’ smiling and lookin’ so pretty, shit,” rafe laughed, his jaw slack open as he pulled out, a smirk pulling at his lips at the ‘pop’ sound that came from your slick and puckered hole.

spit drooled out of the corner of your mouth as rafe filled your tight ass again, before he pulled out once more, repeating the process about six times, a blush creeping to your cheeks as you took in the suction of your ass clinging around rafe’s cock. “please, papi, please cum inside of me,” you croaked out, your voice hoarse and raw from your earlier screams of painful bliss. rafe remained silent, aside from sporadic grunts as he lowered his head to yours, his sweaty hips slapping against your ass.

“y’want papi to cum in your cute little ass, huh?” he hummed teasingly, before bringing his index and middle fingers to your mouth, shoving them to the back of your throat as you gagged around his knuckles, slicking his fingers with your saliva. you let out a greedy gasp of air as rafe brought his wet fingers down to your leaking hole, forcing his thick fingers inside of your aching hole. “answer me, mama,” he coaxed, matching the thrust of his fingers to the rhythm of his firm hips.

“yes- yes, please fill me up, fuck,” you cried, a sharp yelp leaving your mouth as rafe lifted one of your legs, a loud cry shortly following after as rafe’s hand clasped around the front of your neck, holding you up to his sticky chest. your swollen lips remained parted as you stared at rafe, the sound of your wet holes squelching around his cock and fingers, now leaving you a cock-drunk mess.

with a few more harsh thrusts, rafe leaned his forehead against the back of your shoulder, letting out a groan through his clenched sharp teeth as his warm cup filled you up just right. his fingers slowly exited your tight warmth as he lazily rested his arm around your waist, holding you steady as he gently pulled his hips away from your ass, a burst of pride blooming in his chest as you let out a pained whine. completely fucked out, you fell into rafe’s arm, letting out a whiny hiss as his filling length slipped out of you.

rafe carefully bent you over once more, stuffing his cock into his briefs as he walked over to you, crouching beside your face as you brought your eyes to his with a soft smile, “y’gonna sit there like a good girl, okay mama?” he cooed, smoothing a sweet hand down your hair as you nodded, before your lips fell into a wobbly pout. your eyes welled with overstimulated tears as rafe soothingly rubbed your back that was sticky with drying sweat, “fuck, let me take this off of you,” rafe’s eyes widened with slight panic as he unbuckled the belt that was tightly fastened around your delicate wrists.

rafe quickly ran his hand through his buzzed hair at the sight of your bruising wrist, before leaning down to your flushed face, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. your chest hiccuped with childlike cries, “you-you didn’t even kiss me,” you squeaked.

rafe rolled his eyes in feigned annoyance, “that was the point, pretty girl,” he sighed, lightly scratching at your scalp as you wrapped a needy arm around his neck.

[hotvintagepoll]

LAST POLL OF ROUND 6

Propaganda

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

This is round 6 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

[ashwhowrites]

Hi! I wrote some in my drafts then it wouldn't let me edit so I had to screenshot the request and start over! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3

Hideout jealousy

Y/N knew she screwed up when she landed underneath her best friend. She got a taste of his lips and now craves it constantly. His body against hers, her name on his lips, and the feeling of him inside of her. But both still called it a friendship. But do friends hook up with each other all the time? She didn't do this with any of her other friends. She wasn't sure what to call them. Friends with benefits sounded too harsh like they barely knew each other. They were best friends, so best friends with benefits?

In many ways, she regretted having sex with him the first time. It haunts her dreams and mind. He's right there all the time and she can't escape him. She saw him as a friend but now he has this glow to him. He has this pull that drags her in flat on her face. She was obsessed with how she felt with him.

Turns out she was more obsessed than she thought. She swore she could feel a fire inside her body as she watched a girl flirt with Eddie. Her bright smile and soft touch on his arm. Y/N clenched the glass in her hand, her ears ringing from Eddie's show just before. A show she was front row for, screaming and cheering for the band. Then Eddie was whisked away, and he hasn't looked back since.

She hated how much she cared, and that the sight of Eddie with another girl made her want to claim him. Claim him right there in the middle of the room. Y/N threw on a smile when Eddie turned around and gave her a small nod. Y/N tried to make it seem like she wasn't glaring holes into the girl's head. She held her breath as Eddie walked over to her.

"Ready to go?" Eddie asked, his hand reaching out. Y/N grasped it and held on to it tightly. They walked passed the girl, and Eddie barely made eye contact with her. Y/N smirked as they walked past. Yeah, she was jealous. But Eddie was ending his night in her bed.

~~~

On the drive home, Eddie felt like something was wrong. Y/N was biting his ear, and his neck, and palming him through his jeans the whole drive. Eddie melted and loved it, but it wasn't like her. She liked it private and soft. But the way she handled him was something else.

Once they made it into her house, her clothes were off and she was eagerly trying to tear his clothes off. His gentle hands stopped her, a worried look in his eyes.

"what's wrong?" She hated how concerned he sounded. She didn't want her emotions to be written on her sleeve.

"Nothing, why?" She asked, her lips on his neck as she tried to get her hands free. But Eddie didn't budge. He dropped her hands, just to cup her face. She tried to get her head out of his hands but he wouldn't move. He kept his hands on her, not hard enough to hurt her but enough that she couldn't wiggle free. She huffed as he kept delaying.

"look are we gonna have sex or not?" She snapped. If he planned to dodge all her touches, she wasn't going to bother.

"Not when you are upset like this," Eddie said sternly. "Tell me what's wrong. Talk to me." He said gently. He released her face, grabbed her hand, and walked them to the couch. She sat beside him, his hands holding hers. She wasn't sure if it was for comfort or to keep her hands off of him.

"I'm not even upset!" She argued.

"Jealous, maybe?" He asked trying to keep the smile off his face. He knew smiling about the situation would make it worse, but he couldn't help but love the ownership she wanted over him. He'd be lying if he said he never thought of their little fling becoming way more.

She felt her blood run cold. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he already knew she was. He wanted her to admit it. She puffed out her cheeks and shook her head.

"jealous? Of what!" She faked and laughed. She tried to keep a straight poker face. Deny, deny, deny.

"The girl, her flirting. Her thinking she even has a chance to make me turn my head."

"Head sure looked turned to me." She snapped. This time Eddie did smile.

"There it is." He sang, a cheeky smile on his face. "It's okay to be jealous."

"I'm not! I just think we hang out, we have sex. Two things you do in a relationship so why is she needed?" Y/N said, shrugging her shoulders.

"She's not needed." Eddie clarified. He turned her head to look at him. He slowly leaned in. She felt her eyes closing and butterflies in her stomach as she leaned into him. "Just need you." He whispered then his lips landed on hers.

She whimpered as his tongue slipped inside her mouth. The kiss she's been craving since the bar. Her hands were free as he let go. His hands moved down to her thighs, his strong hands gripping the skin as she moaned. Her hands dove into his hair, tangling in his curls.

"I love you." He said against her lips. Her eyes shot open, his brown eyes already looking into hers. "Way more than a friend and I want more than sex."

Y/N couldn't keep the smile off her face. Words she dreamed he'd say.

"I love you, I want that too." Her smile pressed against his as he deepened the kiss. Her back against the couch as he pushed her. His body was on hers as his hands moved up her body, underneath her shirt. She shivered as his rings grazed against her skin. The coldness of the metal made her stomach flip.

She moaned as his hands moved behind her to unhook her bra. He's done this countless times but this time felt so different. She felt like it was the first time she ever felt him all over again.

She moaned as he moved fast. Her bra and shirt were gone as his hands twisted her sensitive nipples, the feeling of his warm tongue teasing the bud.

~~~

Lost in the feeling of their bodies intertwined. The gentle and slow thrust of Eddie's hips against hers. Her nails scratched down his back, her legs tight around his waist. She was warm and tight around him, Eddie shivered at the way she clenched around him. She could feel the wetness between her thighs and she loved the way his pubic hair scratched against her.

Then he hit that one spot that sent a tingle up her spine. She wasn't in control of her body anymore. Something inside her snapped as she arched her back. The screams released from her lungs as his name fell off her lips like a prayer. His cock pulsed as she cried out. Tears spilling from her eyes as she grabbed his ass to keep him inside of her. She silenced herself by biting down on his shoulder. The pain and sting made Eddie's eyes roll in the back of his head. He felt her cum make a mess everywhere, and he quickly pulled out of her. He jerked his cock off in the direction of her stomach. He painted her stomach and cunt in his cum as he panted. She tried to hold open her heavy eyes to watch. The way his stomach clenched, teeth down on his bottom lip. His hair stuck to his forehead as he cussed and pumped himself more. He wanted to leave himself empty and leave it all to her.

The sight of her heaving and sweaty body covered in his cum made his balls feel heavy all over again. Almost like if he tried hard enough, he could cover her again.

He watched as her hand smoothed down her body, her fingers smearing his cum further into her skin. He felt himself drooling as she trailed her fingers up to her mouth and sucked them clean.

"Fuck, you are something else, baby." He smirked, and he leaned down to plant a wet kiss on her forehead. She giggled and quickly wrapped her arms around him. Crashing his body down onto hers.

"Now I'm covered in my cum." Eddie groaned

"whoops." She shrugged, a big smile on her face.

"Love you," he said, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Good. Tell the slut at the bar too."

Tags!

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[thegettingbyp2]

Request: Coriolanus manipulates unpopular girl into marrying him for her parents money. She finds out that he manipulated her years later. Coriolanus actually started to loves her but the damage is done.

So Much More

A/N: I loved writing this and will probably write a part 2 at some point if people are interested!

Buy me a coffee :)

Even though you were considered to be a part of one of the richest families in The Academy, you were wildly unpopular with your classmates, most probably due to the fact you were so quiet and tended to avoid your other classmates whenever possible. This didn’t seem to deter Coriolanus Snow though.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Coriolanus always seemed to either save you a seat or sit next to you in class and talk to you. Much to your own surprise, this ended up with you dating Coriolanus and him bringing you everywhere with him, constantly wanting to show you off. When he proposed to you in front of the Capitol while he was being sworn in as President, it shocked you. Even though you were completely head over heels for him, there was always that niggling thought in the back of your head that he was with you out of pity.

It wasn’t until 2 years after your wedding when you overheard Coriolanus talking to one of his advisors that you really understood why he was with you.

‘Look, the money from (Y/N)’s parents pulled me and my family out of the gutter, I’m not about to throw her away now. Why do you think I asked her out all those years ago in the first place.’ The involuntary gasp that left your lips had Coriolanus’s head whipping around to face you, his eyes wide when he realised that you must have heard what he’d said.

‘That’s really why you asked me out? Why you married me, to get my parents money?’ you asked, wanting more than anything for him to tell you that you’d heard him wrong.

Coriolanus gestured for his advisor to leave the room as he stood up, making his way across to you. ‘(Y/N), you have to understand, when we met, my family were on the verge of losing everything. Your family helped my family to climb back up, we wouldn’t be where we are now without them.’ He tried to take your hands in his, frowning when you pulled away from him.

‘So, you were using me?’ you asked, your voice breaking slightly as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

Coriolanus sighed heavily, running a hand across his face. ‘At first I was. At first, I thought that dating you would be the perfect way to save my family because I could just leave you straight after.’ You couldn’t help but flinch slightly at his words, a movements that didn’t go unnoticed by Coriolanus as he stepped forward, this time, placing his hands on your hips as his nose brushed against your hairline. ‘But then, the longer we were together, the more reasons I’d found to not break up with you because I found myself falling in love with you.’

‘That doesn’t excuse the fact that you were using me, Coryo,’ you whispered brokenly, your hands coming to rest on his that were still on your hips. ‘I was madly in love with you from day one, it took me months to accept the fact that you felt the same way, so finding out that you were lying the whole time - ’

‘I do feel that way now, baby. That’s the point I’m trying to make,’ he interrupted you, his fingers squeezing tighter onto your hips. ‘I was desperate, I would have done pretty much anything to save face. When we were at The Academy, I didn’t think you meant anything, but you mean so much more to me than I ever thought possible.’

As he was speaking, you felt tears pool in your eyes as you were hit by a wave of conflicting emotions, your love for him and the betrayal you were feeling being the main two at war inside you.

‘I just don’t think that I can carry on being married to you, knowing all of this, I don’t know if I can trust you anymore,’ you said quietly, letting your tears fall in streams down your cheeks.

‘Don’t say that,’ Coriolanus said, his voice almost sounding like he was begging as his voice cracked. He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, only for you to turn your head at the last minute, his lips grazing your cheek. A single tear traced down his cheek. In all the years you’d known him, you’d never seen him lose his composure like this, even when he was caught out for cheating while he was mentoring Lucy Gray in the 10th Hunger Games. Seeing him like this was making you want to pull him into you and tell him that you loved him and you forgave him, but deep down, you knew that whatever relationship the two of you had was pretty much damaged beyond repair.

‘I should probably go. We can talk more about this when I’ve had time to think,’ you said, trying to free yourself from his grip.

It was as if your words had caused a flip to switch in Coriolanus as you watched his body stiffen and his eyes instantly grow colder. His grip on you tightened even more to an extent that you knew that you were 100% going to have bruises from where his fingers dug into your skin painfully.

‘You’re not going anywhere,’ he said in a cold, almost lifeless tone.

[vetteltea]

congrats on 500 !!!! you deserve it sooo much 🫰🫰

i know you aren’t really a lando girlie….but since you’re so talented,,,can i request strawberry tea w lando & the napping together prompt ? thank you !!!! 🫶 (and congrats again !! 💞🤧)

☕︎ strawberry tea

LN4 and 'napping together'

He’s home. 

Every triple header you can’t attend gets a little troublesome; the apartment feels lifeless, the walls lackluster of laughter bouncing around. The puzzle the two of you had yet to complete lay dormant on the dining room table; a stark reminder that every meal without your boyfriend was eaten curled up on the modular sofa you’d also been sleeping on, the only comfort being a fluffy blanket, the smell of him already fading. 

The door had clicked, the text messages having faded since he had stepped off the plane, obviously more focused on returning back to you than responding to your questions. You didn’t care, not when you reached the entry foyer and saw him; tired, sore but smiling. His suitcase and travel bag faded into nothingness as a choked sob left your lips, running down the hall in sock feet and leaping at your boyfriend, two strong arms holding you against him, hiding his own head in your neck. 

“I’m home.” He’d whispered between shivers, overwhelmed from feeling your body pressed against his for the first time in over three weeks. Between whispers, in regards to how much they’ve missed one another, he’s pressing kisses against your face, your hands finding and threading through his curls, pleading he wouldn’t disappear without you again, at least not for a week.

Lando is so gentle, he can feel you shivering, probably from the lack of sleep and the realization he’s returned. It takes a few moments, unraveling yourself from one another, letting him link your fingers together, guiding you down the hall and back into the lounge. His heart melts when he sees the blankets cocooned into a makeshift bed like you had done oh-so-often for movie nights. 

“Have you been sleeping out here?” He coaxes, shifting from where you had been standing next to him, clamoring into the modular setup, immediately wiggling out of his shoes and hoodie, leaving him shirtless and oh-so-cozy. Lando didn’t miss the blush that tinted your cheeks, both from his toned chest and heavy question. 

“The bed felt…so empty without you.” The whisper left your lips. You hadn’t slept the first night, reaching out constantly to feel his warmth and shattering each time it hit that he wasn’t there. He’d never admit, but Lando had the exact same problem, having to physically exhaust himself into sleep. It would never come out, he’d never want his sweet girl to worry. Instead, he wordlessly raises his two arms, a signal for you to come and join him in the makeshift bed; he really doesn't have the energy to haul the cushions and blankets back to his actual bedroom.

It takes you less than a moment to react, bundling straight into his arms, both of you soft with giggles and gentle kisses. It’s like fitting a piece back together, your head immediately rests against his sternum, arms encircling you and holding you tighter. He’s warm. Oh, so warm and so comfortable that you can’t help but feel your eyes droop, getting heavier with the sleep debt you had gained. Delirium begins to overtake you both, adamant on napping rather than talking, it happened after years together.

“Do you want dinner?” You’d asked, voice teetering on the edge of sleep, only drawn closer when Lando’s hand reaches out, cupping your cheek and pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. 

“We’ll order later. Right now I just want you.” He presses a final kiss to your temple, lying back into the blankets and dragging you with him. It’s less than a few minutes before sleep overtakes you both, eyes heavy with only one thought running through you both, that you’re home. 

part of the vetteltea 500 celebration!

[farfaras]

Part 2.

What if Eddie moved on from thinking Steve and Nancy should get back together when Jonathan came back and saw how they’re actually destined to be together even tho they still have shit to figure out.

I know it’s a popular hc that Eddie and Robin clock each other immediately BUT I still think that as two queer kids in a small backwards town they’re more worried about no one finding out about them so they wouldn’t notice someone else. So worried about themselves that they (like straight people) also fall into the mindset of ‘everyone is straight until proven otherwise’.

What’s the result of this? Eddie seeing how close Robin and Steve are and thinking there must be something there. And because Steve is a little more affectionate than Robin, now Eddie thinks he’s pining after her.

“Why aren’t you and Robin together?”

“It’s not like that. She’s my best friend.”

“I don’t buy it.”

So now Steve has to put up with Eddie constantly going on about how Steve should just ask her out already, what’s he waiting for, she probably likes him back.

It bothers Steve to no end. He wished society had advanced enough to realize that men and women can be platonic friends without having to explain themselves.

A nightmare.

And Steve would never out Robin, so telling him the truth wasn’t an option. And he really wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now, so that was out of the question. What could he do to get Eddie to understand that him and Robin would never happen?

Then he remembered. It seemed so distant but Steve actually tried to tell Robin he liked her once. It was kinda embarrassing to think about now, specially because he saw Robin as nothing more than a friend now. He couldn’t even remember what having a crush on her ever felt like. And maybe he never even had one, shitty friends and shitty parents maybe warped his perception and then he couldn’t see the difference between platonic and romantic feelings. Well, that was for another day. He could tell the difference now. He thinks.

He could just tell Eddie about that moment in starcourt. He would just leave out the part about Robin having absolutely bad taste in girls. Foolproof. Eddie would leave it alone now.

“What? She just rejected you and then you decided to become her best friend?” He looked surprised, like the idea was impossible to understand.

“And I don’t regret it. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re crazy.” Steve didn’t expect that.

“What do you mean?”

Eddie looked at him and his expression was hard to read. “You’re telling me that after being rejected you didn’t need time away? Just jumped to being a platonic friend? Despite your feelings?” He scoffed. “I could never do that.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Now I know you’re lying. You still like her?”

Steve really tried to convince Eddie that he didn’t like Robin anymore. But no matter what he would say he didn’t believe him.

So Steve gave up.

Now he goes along with it. It’s easier. It stopped Eddie from trying to set them up or whatever.

Except it didn’t.

Now Eddie came up with the absolute great idea of making her jealous. Which was so so ridiculous Steve had to hold back laughter. He didn’t mention how much Robin had heard about past dates. This was beginning to amuse him just a little bit.

“How would I even do that?” Steve asked, curious as to what Eddie would come up with.

“You know? Let me think about this.” He made a show of putting his hand on his chin, contemplating. “Show up at work with some marks on you neck. You know, see how she reacts to that knowledge.” Steve knows how Robin reacts to that. Before Vecna, on his endless quest to find ‘the one’ (what a waste) he had some hookups. One time he went into work with one or two hickeys on his neck. Robin wouldn’t even bat her eyes, just would ask ‘who was it now?’ and then ask if he would see her again. The answer was no. Eddie didn’t know this.

“Yeah well, I really don’t feel like going on a date and hooking up with someone just to use it to bait a reaction. Seems kinda cruel to the other person.” Steve thinks that should be enough to shut this idea down.

“Huh. Maybe you’re better than me because I didn’t even think about that.”

Steve doesn’t reply, just snorts. And he thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. There’s nothing else Eddie can really do or come up with. Right?

Wrong.

“I could do it.” Did Steve hear that right? Huh?

“What?” Steve asked.

“Give you a hickey. It’s no big deal, really.”

If you asked Steve why he said yes. Man, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He really doesn’t know! It’s like someone possessed him and he was moving his mouth, but it wasn’t him. Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it fast enough that would convince Eddie.

They were both sitting on the couch so Eddie just leaned in and started on a spot on the left side of his neck. Steve’s hand instinctively moved to the back of Eddie’s head. One wouldn’t think so based on its appearance but Eddie’s hair was surprisingly soft.

Suddenly there were teeth scraping his neck. Steve let out a noise that he hadn’t heard before. He accidentally pulled a little on Eddie’s hair, he was gonna apologize but Eddie didn’t seem to mind, he just hummed.

“Did you just bite me?”

Eddie pulled back and sneered. “Sorry. I let my impulsive thoughts win.” What does that even mean?

Steve was gonna ask if that did it but then Eddie moved to his lap, straddling him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting the other side?” Makes sense? Honestly his mind was getting a little mushy and was only focusing on Eddie’s weight on him. When Eddie leaned in again, Steve’s hands traveled to rest on his hips. Eddie’s on his shoulders to have leverage, his hips hovering now.

Steve tipped his head back to give him a little more space. With more space Eddie seemed to be satisfied with that spot and moved lower, however this next one was sensitive to Steve, he’s always known that. He was gonna say so but he couldn’t, Eddie was already on it. He let out a breathy sound and gripped Eddie’s hips tighter making him slam back on his lap. He thinks Eddie moaned, he’s not sure tho. “Sorry.” He muttered.

He didn’t think he’d enjoy this.

He did.

Maybe he should put a stop to it.

He hasn’t so far.

It went on a little longer. Some hands wandering. Some sounds uttered. Minds getting floaty.

He knew it was coming to an end when Eddie started leaving kisses to soothe the spots, he trailed until he got to his ear. Which he actually licked. It was probably to make a joke but it only made Steve shiver.

“I think you’re done.” Eddie said. He hesitated a second before climbing off his lap.

Steve knew he looked winded. Eddie tried to look casual but he’s known him for a while and could see that it was feigned casualness.

“Uh. Good.” Lame. Steve is lame.

Mike Wheeler was right because Steve Harrington is lame.

How is he gonna explain this to Robin?

[number1jeonginstan]

horny bff han jisung has me screaming oh god !!!! imagine han jisung getting caught taking a pic or jerking off and reader acts really bold towards him saying she/they always knew about that and was ready to give him what he wants

A/N: Hi babe! I'm sorry that this took so long, but I wanted to add my own spin on your request, so I hope you like it (Please send something in my inbox or something if you do because I love hearing responses!!) I personally thought this was fun to write!!

WC: .8k

Pairing: Horny!Jisung x 9thmember afab!reader

Warnings: oral(m! recieving), walking in, cum swallowing, idk what else

It was after practice and you were heading back to the dorms. Jisung had left an hour earlier than the rest of you, saying that he wasn’t feeling well. The eight of you didn’t think much of it, going back to practice after he left. 

You bid the rest of the group goodbye as you went back to the dorm. You knew that it was only going to be you and Jisung since Chan and Hyunjin were planning on getting dinner together and Changbin was at the gym, meaning you could make yourself dinner without any interruptions. 

The last time you tried to make dinner with Jisung and Changbin in the house, you burnt the vegetables due to them constantly distracting you. It was nice to finally be able to make yourself a meal that didn’t include unseasoned chicken breasts straight from a package.

As you opened the door to your dorm, you heard a slight whimper coming from Jisung’s door. He must really not be feeling well you thought to yourself. You decided on making Kimchi-jjigae for both you and Jisung so he would feel better. 

It only took 15 minutes to prepare the meal, thankfully you had cooked rice earlier in the morning, so you quickly plated it on a tray for him, taking it to his room.

“Jisung?” you whispered as you opened his door, only to see him with his cock in his right hand and his phone in his left. 

“Oh fuck, sorry!” you squealed, quickly turning around, trying not to drop the food in your hand.

“Holy shit, Y/N” he quickly covered himself with his blanket, tossing his phone aside only for you to see it was a video of you during one of your dance practices. You remember that day, it was particularly hot, and the video was only to see what you had to improve, so you were only dancing in a bra and shorts.

You quickly set the plate tray down at his desk looking at him, his body a bit sweaty and tissues lying around him. 

“Does Sungie need help getting off? Has to watch a video of his member just to get off?”

He gulped as you began to straddle his legs, slowly pulling down the blanket that lay on top of him. His cock hit his stomach, his tip red and covered with pre-cum, you could tell he was close to cumming before you entered. 

“Aww, look at you, so fucking horny all for me”

“Please” he whined, causing you to laugh. You brought your hand to his cock, slowly stroking it as he whimpered underneath you. “Fuck Sungie, you have such a pretty cock, wonder how it will taste?”

He looked at you in shock as you brought the tip of his cock to your lips. His pre-cum was a bit salty, but nothing you couldn’t bear. You licked his cock, before kissing it while looking up at him. His eyes were shut as he slowly petted your head. 

“Fuck y/n, feel so good” he moaned as you began to take the tip of his cock in your mouth, licking the underside of it as you bobbed your head on it, trying to deep throat him in one go. 

“There you go, be a good girl and take my cock” 

He took your hair in his hand, wrapping it around before causing your head to bob up and down on it. You didn’t expect him to gain control so easily, but he didn’t take you off his cock, basically abusing your throat.

“Fuck, baby, good to know I have a fleshlight whenever I need it” he chuckled as you sucked harder, gagging at the way his cock was hitting the back of your throat. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, you knew he was close. 

You moaned loudly as he came into your mouth, his seed shooting down your throat. “There we go, take all of it”

You coughed as he finally removed you from his cock, still tasting the saltiness of his cum in your mouth. He slowly removed himself from you, pulling on his boxers before walking towards the table and taking a sip of the stew you made him. 

He quickly walked back to you, placing his lips against your forehead “Thanks for the food baby, taste delicious, not as good as my cum though” 

He quickly kissed it before leaving you in your head for a second, trying to recollect what just happened. “Yah! Jisung come back here”

“Can’t wait to tell the guys how you helped me, they are going to be excited to finally have their turns after all these years” 

You were so fucking screwed.

[princesssmars]

hazel falling in love with her childhood family friend is rotting my brain actually.

wc : 1383

sfw and slight nsfw? fem reader. thanking emma and rachel for making hazel rich because i love writing rich people stuff. i’d say maybe a good mix of cocky!hazel and loser!hazel because i love both so bad.

so for the first six years of her life she spends her winter holidays at a beautiful chalet in aspen with her parents, spending the days having snowball fights with her dad and falling asleep by the fireplace with her mom.

just like. she's rich, and her mom seems like one of thos wealthy women who loves to go on vacation to show off her perfect life and her perfect friends, so she or her husband definitely had a vacation house they'd visit every year.

when she turns seven they finally let her start skiing on the bunny slope, figuring it’s better than the little evil genius thing she does with the pots and the tiny snowmen. for a little kid she's pretty good at the sport already, if not taking the pizza and french fry tip a little too seriously.

about an hour in though, she's taking her umpteenth trip down the hill when a four foot mass slams into her right side, going at way above whatever speed limit was allowed in this area. she's lying flat on the ground, her right arm aching and her hound pounding and she's about ten seconds from crying when she looks over to see you, face planted in the snow and your shoulders shaking as you laugh like you're insane.

both sets of your parents rush over to make sure that the both of you are ok, and after you manage to calm down a bit and give hazel a very formal sounding apology that your mom whispered in your ear, you ask hazel if she can help you learn to control your speed on the slopes.

so after an hour of driving her crazy as she tries to teach you how to control your speed, your moms sit at a table watching over the both of you while sipping on their drinks and becoming fast friends.

ever since then, each winter was spent together. whether it was spending time in the snow, (hazel continued to excel at skiing, eventually giving up on trying to teach you), sharing stories of your normal lives over cups of cocoa at the cafe in the ski lodge, and helping each other decorate your christmas trees that you both had to beg your parents to buy.

whenever she went back home the days following new years, she’d count the days until she could see you again. to compensate for the time apart your parents let you send a horde of letters and e-mails to each other, letting the two of you share long phone calls on their phones when you were still to young to have your own.

hazels secret favorite hobby became photography. you couldn’t go twenty minutes without her shoving her polaroid camera in your face. she’ll tell you it’s because she’s using the vacation time to explore and try new things, and not that she constantly looks back over the photos of you with a big smile and a flush to her face.

(she also won’t mention that she’s addicted to the feeling she gets when pj and josie come over to her house and pj goes ona ten minute rant about how impossible it is that a girl that pretty could spend time with hazel without being insane. she ignores the insult because she’s hung up on the fact oh called you pretty.)

now i think hazel was pretty much always aware of the fact that she liked girls, if not because she realized that being obsessed with a certain scene from cruel intentions and always volunteering to play the husband when one of her friends wanted to play house on the playground was, in fact, not straight.

but at this point she’s maybe fifteen, she’s starting to grow into her looks and she’s definitely not ready to admit she might has a crush on you. at this point you both have had your own phones for a while, and she couldn’t even count the amount of times she had fallen asleep with you over facetime.

over the course of that year she often found herself wondering what your sexuality was. dumb ass stereotypes had her believing there was no way you, pretty and popular and preppy you could possibly be gay. and if you were a lesbian there was no chance that you'd like her back.

it was just made all the more confusing when once she had complained about how she hadn't had a girlfriend, let alone a first kiss yet and she was nearly halfway through high school with no experience for the hundredth time that you told her you had a solution for her on your next shared trip.

so you can imagine her shock when three days after landing in aspen you pull her into your room in your lodge and sit her on your bed before telling her you knew the perfect way to get more experience was to experiment with you.

"your first few times kissing and stuff can be pretty awkward, so why not just do it with me? i can show you the ropes and stuff.”

now on the outside she seemed normal, agreeing with an easy smile on her face, but on the inside her brain was playing the loudest tornado siren known to man.

it starts tame, the first few days consisting of you just telling her about your past experiences with girls and how to take it slow and everything. she knows its important but it honestly feels like torture. every time you talk to her she's wondering about what you'll do to start the physical lesson, if you'll set her down on her plush bed and softly touch her, or if you'll finally get fed up with the waiting like she is and press her and take her against a wall.

if you had known you would have prepared, but hazel was a freak in disguise and had decided that she was ready to take things into her own hands. you had invited her to sleep over at yours and drink hot cocoa while watching christmas movies and she had accepted in a heartbeat. what she didn't expect was for you to be wearing really cute pajamas, your legs covered in little hello kitty's and christmas trees with a plain red top and geez she could see you weren't wearing a bra.

hazel was a ticking time bomb, and when the two of you were sitting on the couch and she watched the reds and whites and golds dance across your face and you looked ovver at her with a 'what's wrong, hazie?' she exploded, smushing her lips onto yours in a mess of limbs and teeth.

she can feel your giggles in her mouth as she presses you down into the plush of the couch, her excited hands gripping your cheeks before brushing over your chest and gripping your waist, grinding her hips into yours and groaning when your giggle turned into high pitched moans.

it feels like she kisses you for hours before you reluctantly stop, your hands going to press into her shoulders when her head follows yours to resume making out. "hazel, as much as i'm enjoying this we were supposed to be taking this slowly. since when did you know how to...do that?"

"i dont know i just," she sighs as she tries to catch her breath, starting to get embarrassed about what a virginal mess she must look and be acting like. but you seem to like it, so she starts to not care all that much. "i just really want you. i wanna do everything with you."

you smile and hold her cheek in your hand, her eyes fluttering shut at your touch. you look at the gentle expression on her face, the slowing of her breath, and how her hips still occasionally stutter downward looking for yours, and you cant find it in your heart to deny her. you never really could.

"ok, hazie. we can do whatever you want-"

you're cut off before you can finish, the girl quickly rejoining your lips together and groping at your body once again.

when she gets back from vacation, hazel is less single, less unexperienced, and more than ready to throw this in pj's face.

i kinda lost inspo for this can you tell :,(((( but i thought the idea was cute so take this thing. bye.

[heesdreamer]

ECHOES OF RIOT

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ falling inlove with a rockstar is never easy, especially when he returns to your hometown on a successful tour three years after you lost contact

WARNINGS ➩ this is like straight up angst… romance but mostly angst lol.. drug use, some violence, idk can’t really remember this is ridiculously long

WC ➩ 19.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ well this took me forever lol.. i don’t have much to say i just hope you like it. NOT PROOFREAD normally written at 4am lol the usual.. also side note one of the main characters was chaeyoung and i changed her to heejin for obvious reasons so if you see any of her name left over that’s my mistake and that’s why.

You weren’t exactly sure how you ended up like you did, so meek and quiet to the point that it was an actual hinderance on your daily activities.

If you were born like that, just one of those kids that was too shy to talk to their classmates and hid behind their moms legs on the first day of school, you’d completely understand but you’d actually been nearly the opposite for your entire life.

Maybe it was an accumulation of always feeling like you were taking up too much space, being on the receiving end of quick glares from teachers when you lacked volume control or seeing the hesitance on your friends parents faces when they excitedly asked if you could come over for a sleepover. Mixed with your own sudden self awareness going into high school.

You quickly realized that it wasn’t the loud girls getting asked out on dates and it was an almost immediately decline into self intrusion once you made this discovery.

It wasn’t like you necessarily wanted to be asked out by anybody, physically recoiling as your friends gossiped about the mass appointed hottest guys at your school and turning up your nose when they made sleazy attempts to flirt and court the other girls around you, but it felt embarrassing to be constantly left out of romantic group hangouts or discussions about experiences you’d never had.

Still, you had managed to keep a solid group of friends despite your newfound habit of self isolating and they only halfway judged you for your tendency to stay in on the weekends.

On the other half however, they weren’t so forgiving, hence why you were currently stood outside a low scale concert venue shivering so hard you were worried you’d chip a tooth. You were pulling your zip up hoodie tighter around your body and sending glares to your friends who were chatting animatedly about the band they were going to see.

Apparently it was composed of some boys around your age, not attending your school but well known enough that they had been invited to some of your friends parties and events and eventually your friend group had been given tickets to one of their shows.

You weren’t the biggest fan of crowds in general but especially concert goers and you’d been promised that this one would be chill and relaxing, something you automatically knew was a lie the second you left the cab and saw the attire of everybody around you. The line was buzzing with energy and adrenaline and you could hear the acts doing soundcheck from inside, music loud and heavy.

It was freezing and as much as you were dreading being pushed into a crowd with jabbing elbows and sweat rolling off their skin onto yours, you were ready to get out of the line as more and more snow kept falling down onto the uncaring crowd.

“Aren’t you excited?” Your head was turning at the sound of a soft voice coming from your right and you smiled softly at one of your calmer friends.

“Sure Sunoo. It’ll be fun.” You were replying quickly, not needing them to feel awkward or guilty about bringing you just because you didn’t necessarily want to come. You figured he could tell you were lying by the pity filled look he gave you but he didn’t call you out for it.

He didn’t say anything else for a second and he didn’t get a chance before the doors were opening and the line was surging forward, already getting your tickets checked while you waited and turning into a blob of people and excitement all trying to squeeze into the single door.

You were groaning softly at the feeling of being jostled around but you couldn’t help but laugh at the fact all of your friends were linking arms and declaring to stay together, slightly envious of the pure delight on their faces whilst your heart was starting to ache from the anxious way it was pounding. You let yourself be dragged through the crowd by them, closing your eyes for a second when you pushed through the tightest areas and just allowing them to guide you through it.

The venue was more so just a bar with a small stage but your friends had told you that these were the best types of places to see a show at, intimate and ear shattering loud.

They’d said the last half with an enthusiastic giggle but you had winced softly at the image of how close you’d be to the large speakers that you now saw adorning the stage. It was dark in the building and your shoes were sticking to the floor beneath you, lights turned a deep glowing green and something more casual playing over the speakers to fill the silence.

You’d followed behind them as they found a spot near the bar, safely tucked away from the crowd and planning to wait out the opening acts here to preserve their energy. They all agreed to push into the crowd once the main band came out and try to get as close as they possibly could, looking over at you for acceptance and all smiling and patting your back when you gave a sheepish nod.

It wasn’t that bad and you were quickly getting used to it, the thick cloud of cigarette smoke settling over you and only making you slightly dizzy now.

You felt a bit embarrassed and out of place but everybody else was too excited or drunk to notice that you weren’t exactly in the most appropriate attire. Sunoo had shot you a questioning glance when you’d gotten into the shared cab but you only just now realized you weren’t fitting in with the rest of the crowd or your friends even slightly.

The difference between you and them was even more evident when the owner of the bar was stepping onto stage and excitedly announcing the first artists, all your friends cheering and holding onto each other while you sat and watched from one of the bar stools.

You were still able to have fun as you watched them, smiling softly at the way they kept instinctively moving forward together as the music started and they screamed the lyrics. You didn’t recognize the songs that the band was covering but you knew enough about music to tell it sounded amazing, watching them closely as they skillfully played off of each other and got the crowd properly amped up.

You’d never really understood the purpose behind opening acts but you were getting it now considering you were feeling more and more excited for the main band as you kept watching.

Then more time had passed and the crowd had entered that stage of being too excited and too intoxicated to really understand boundaries and limits, a few fights breaking out that your friends didn’t bat an eye at but you were starting to feel a really deep pit building in your stomach.

It only worsened when somebody was hurriedly, and messily, approaching the bar and demanding another drink as he anxiously looked behind him at where you presumed his spot in the crowd was. You were watching him out of the corner of your eye as he ordered, feeling him swaying drunkenly closer to you and wanting to make sure he didn’t accidentally tip over and knock you out of your seat.

Your intuition was astoundingly accurate considering it wasn’t long before somebody else was approaching the man and leaning into his side, sending the both of them tilting over in your direction.

You’d just managed to hop off the bar seat before they were slamming into it but with the speed in which you’d jumped off combined with the sticky floor underneath you, you were skidding forward and landing roughly on your side against the ground.

Neither man seemed coherent enough to notice you had fallen from the height and you could hear them drunkenly laughing with each other from above you. Your friends hadn’t noticed the altercation either and you quickly frowned at the nasty sensation under your hands before you were standing up and swiftly adjusting your skirt.

You were rushing back out towards the entrance before anybody could notice your disappearance, pushing back through the door and immediately being hit by the cold air as the snow continued to build up on the ground. You were sighing and bending down to pick some of it off the sidewalk, rubbing it in your hands and trying to clean them off the best you could with the wetness.

“You’re going to miss the main act.”

You were jumping at the sound of a voice coming from behind you, standing up swiftly and turning around to see somebody leaning against the building and taking a long drag from whatever it was that he was smoking.

“Oh.. yeah I know I just.. had something on my hands.” You were mumbling out towards him and indicating awkwardly at the snow in your hands, realizing how weird it must’ve looked from his angle.

He was laughing softly at your explanation and your face flushed in embarrassment again for the sixth time that night, taking in his attire and knowing he’d be able to tell right away that you weren’t exactly supposed to be here. He was tall, would be even taller if he was standing up straight and it was especially accentuated by the tight fit of his ripped black jeans. You couldn’t see his face super clearly from where he was stood underneath the shaky lights but his hair was messy and in his eyes and you thought you saw a piercing or two shining on his face.

“Who dragged you here?” He was suddenly asking and you froze up again as you looked at him, eyes darting down to his feet for a second nervously.

“My friends got tickets and I couldn’t get out of it.” You were telling him softly and shrugging a bit. A car was driving past on the empty road and you waited for the sounds of the snow crunching under its tires to quiet before you finished. “From the band actually.”

You look back at him just in time to see his eyebrows lift in surprise and then settle into recognition, your own shifting forward in furrowed confusion. The boy was taking a step off the wall then and flicking his cigarette somewhere off near the road, your eyes following the still burning ember as it flew through the air before circling back to him.

“I’ll see you inside then.” His tone was one of a statement and not a question but you were still slightly confused despite the fact you habitually nodded at him.

You let out a big sigh once he was leaving finally, weirdly going through the alley towards what you could only assume was a side entrance and not the door right next to him. It quickly slipped your mind and you decided to wait for the previous act to finish up before you also headed back in.

You crouched back down closer to the snow and continued to try and clean off your hands and parts of your sleeves that had gotten stained from whatever substances were on the floor. The cold was sending waves of shivers through you but you simply ignored the uncomfortable feeling, especially since you figured you’d warm up quickly once you headed back inside.

Eventually you could hear the second opening act thanking the crowd for their intense energy before the familiar voice of the bar owner was back, this time more excited as he announced that the main band was finally coming out on to the stage.

You sighed softly again to yourself before stomping the slush off your boots and heading back through the door, once again being hit by the tight atmosphere that was a lot more sweaty than when you had first walked in and was now practically buzzing with adrenaline.

It was harder than you had planned for to get back to your seat and you almost gave up and just resided to the back of the building but once the band members were finally on stage the crowd surged forward, a gap in the mass of people slightly opened up and you were hurrying through it back towards where your friends had been. They were gone now but you had expected that, knowing they must likely went closer to the stage.

You were just barely settling back into an empty stool when the band was coming out on stage and you frowned when you realized you could barely see them, sitting up slightly and freezing up when you got a better view.

One of the boys was standing center stage and speaking into the mic, presumably introducing them to the crowd who was cheering the loudest they had all night, but your gaze was drifting a few feet to his right to where one of the guitarist was standing.

You immediately recognized him as the boy from outside, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you remembered how you had been less than enthusiastic about coming and had told him the band invited you and your friends. His surprised expression was making sense to you now and you would’ve turned to face palm if you weren’t stuck staring at him.

He was scanning the crowd for a few seconds and your eyes widened a touch when he was looking in your direction, stopping his wandering gaze as a soft smirk started to build up on his lips.

You were glancing around you to see if there was anything else he could be looking at and then feeling your face heat up alarmingly fast when you realized there wasn’t and he definitely recognized you from your awkward encounter outside.

Then they were starting to play and you were frozen for other reasons, your eyes locked on him and his frame as he started to open the song slow and soft. It wasn’t the type of music you had expected from them just based off of appearance and you were completely transfixed by the way they skillfully moved with their respective instruments, the boys behind the mics voice coming through now.

The crowd was swaying along with the gentle music, calming down into a low buzz like they were being completely controlled by the bands sound and energy.

You sat frozen like that for the entirety of the first song, mouth slightly parted in surprise and watching the boy you’d seen outside as he continued to play. You didn’t know much about guitars but you could tell he was good, his louder than the others and ringing out clear even underneath the distorted vocals.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore because he wasn’t looking at anything at all, leaning back and keeping his eyes shut as he played them through the final half of the first song. He was rocking along with his strums and he seemed just as into it and transfixed as the rest of the building was.

The first song slowed to a stop and you heard the vocalist laugh softly into the mic before he was glancing behind him towards where the drummer was sitting. You watched them curiously as they nodded at eachother in silent communication, amazed at how casual and relaxed they seemed to be in front of all of these people.

“Obviously we know what you’re all here for.” The lead vocalist was speaking into the mic with a small smile and the two guitarist start to build up the intro of the next song. “Watch your elbows and try not to knock anyone out.”

He was laughing as he finished his lighthearted warning but you watched as the crowd surged with excitement and started to move around, coming to life in sync like they were all the same creature and you felt a bit sick at how tight and moving it was quickly becoming. He was starting to sing again in a lower tone and even though the song was still bordering on calm, you could feel it building up along with the energy in the room.

It was closer to what you had expected their music to sound like and although it wasn’t necessarily something you’d keep on during your downtime, you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy at the way the entire crowd reacted to the explosive chorus.

The drummers voice was rasping underneath the main vocalist now and you quickly understand their previous communication, a smile building on your face as you watched the guitarist from outside staring at them with an unfiltered excitement.

They played more songs and you continued to sit and watch them unmoving, your eyes mostly transfixed on the boy with the guitar until the end of their set. You’d never seen somebody play the way he did and you almost felt like you had no choice but to watch him considering how captivating he looked on stage. Eventually they were shouting their goodbyes towards the crowd and accepting thrown gifts and hands reaching out for contact, all except for the guitarist considering he was just watching and smiling at the crowd for a distance.

You were still watching them as they left the stage and disappeared back into the restricted part of the building, not even noticing when your friends were excitedly bounding back over to you.

“That was fucking awesome.” Heejin was wrapping her arm around your shoulder and shaking you enthusiastically, sweat lining her dyed hair now and making her tattoos glisten under the now red lighting.

“Jungwon somehow sounds 100 times better in person.” You turned your head to see Sunoo coming to sit next to you with an impressed look on his face, shaking his head in disbelief and still watching the empty stage like you were a few moments ago. “Plus I didn’t know Jake could sing like that.”

“He sang at that school event remember? Before Jay got him into drumming.” Riki was quickly explaining and taking a swig of a water bottle he was carrying, still slightly out of breath from the tight and hot crowd.

You watched them talk animatedly about the show with a soft smile and fondness, you were glad they had fun even if you were originally hesitant to come out with them. It had been better than you’d expected and you still felt a little rush of excitement under your skin when you thought about how loud and beautiful the music had been. You’d completely forgotten about falling on the floor or any mishap.

“Are you ready to go then? We don’t want to keep them waiting, they’re probably super tired.” Joonie was turning to smile at you and await your response but her grin faltered when she saw the heavy look of confusion gracing your features. “You didn’t ask her?”

She was moving her head to give an accusatory stare towards the others and Sunoo winced softly at the harshness in her glare. Riki was sighing and scratching the back of his neck before answering. “We figured we’d ask her after she saw them… maybe she’d be more inclined to say yes.”

“Say yes to what?” You were quickly butting in, slightly frustrated that they were talking around you like you weren’t sat right there watching the entire thing.

“The band wanted us to come over to their place after the show.” Heejin was answering hesitantly, watching you with an expectant look like she was already prepared for you to shut them down.

You can’t deny that the thought immediately crossed your mind, beyond used to rejecting hangouts instinctively especially ones that were so small and intimate with people you didn’t know.

Then you were thinking about the way they had performed and how you had felt seeing them have so much fun on the stage, like they never cared about taking up too much space and they certainly weren’t concerned with ever being too loud. You were pausing for a few seconds to think about it even though you already felt like your mind had been made up, meeting your friends waiting stares and giving them a soft nod of approval.

——

You had quickly come to regret your accepting nod on your way to meet up with the boys, packed into a cab with your friends who still vaguely smelled like the inside of the venue and conjoined sweat.

They still seemed excited so you were trying your best to not be a visible mood killer but you were getting more and more anxious the closer you got to where you’d be meeting, not even exactly sure what type of environment you were going into.

It got even worse when the cab was pulling to a stop in front of a house tucked neatly in a lower class suburban area, the dread of having to make small talk in such an intimate setting like one the boys house was making your stomach turn with nausea. You sucked it up and followed behind your friends with held breath, listening as the door opened and they excitedly greeted whoever it was that was behind it.

You eventually filed through and when it was your turn to pass through the doorway, you realized it was Jake who had opened it.

You recognized him from school events like Riki had mentioned before, not attending yours but a few times a year the neighboring schools held community shows and events to bring the area closer together and scout for grants and sponsorships. You distinctly remember Jake sitting on the stage a few years back, looking beyond nervous as he softly strung his acoustic guitar and sang a song that had slipped your memory by now.

It was a striking opposition to what you’d seen him do tonight, both the fact he had been singing so hard his voice was scratching underneath Jungwon’s softer tone and the way he was slamming down on the drums so hard you had been worried he’d break something.

He had a certain buzzing energy to him that helped this make sense, watching him now as he excitedly bounced around your friends like a loose dog as he guided them towards another doorway. You figured he was more full of bottled up excitement over any actual aggressiveness and you continued to silently follow behind them.

You were a bit surprised to be led down to a small finished basement, carefully walking down the carpeted steps and feeling weirdly like you’d been transported back to your own home with how familiar the area looked.

There was a small red light connected to the door with tape and you imagined it was to signal that some sort of recording was going on, a small smile playing up on your face at the irony of the devoted after band having such a simple setup. The smile was immediately slipping off when you were hearing your friends start up rounds of greeting again and you paled with nerves.

“That’s Y/N, she doesn’t talk much.” Riki was quickly saying and you were half grateful he had saved you from awkwardly stuttering out your name and half furious as all sets of eyes turned to look in your direction.

You recognized the lead singer first, looking a lot less intimidating now that he was sitting on the sofa in more comfortable clothes and letting his purple mullet air dry from what you could only assume was a post show shower. You knew his name was Jungwon just from hearing your friends rambles and you filled in the blanks for the rest of the names.

Jay was almost more intimidating off stage than he was on it, losing that playful and excited energy that being in front of a crowd brought and falling into an almost scary silence. If it wasn’t for the gentle way he was picking at an acoustic guitar, a stark difference to the black and shining electric one you’d seen him with on stage.

Your eyes were drifting over to the final person in the room who was busy chatting with Heejin and staring excitedly at her newest tattoos, his hands hovering over her skin but not touching directly like an excited child. Sunoo had told you on the way here that Sunghoon played bass and whilst you weren’t exactly sure what that meant, he seemed the most approachable out of the group.

Minus the member you’d already accidentally approached but he was missing from the current area and you felt a wave of relief rushing through you considering how embarrassed you’d felt seeing him on stage.

You almost fell into autopilot and you listened to the two groups mix and talk casually like they were lifelong friends, an overwhelming feeling of envy sitting in your stomach considering the fact they were so easily able to hold conversation with each other whilst you struggled to even introduce yourself.

Jay had gotten up to put on a record at some point and that made you feel slightly more at ease considering there was no more room for awkward silence, something a lot calmer than what they’d played earlier ringing through the room as they all lounged in different places and started to smoke amongst each other.

Your friends didn’t bother offering any to you considering you had a tendency to say no, not necessarily against smoking or being high but the intimacy of sharing a blunt mixed with the performance anxiety as it was passed around the circle almost on instinct. The other boys must’ve gotten the hint without it needing to be said and they also didn’t try to get you to smoke, leaving you relieved that they weren’t the types to poke fun at you or try to pressure you into it.

It was a lot easier for you to just watch them and get a small contact high, sinking down into your spot on the couch more and relaxing as they started to lose focus and definitely lose the ability to care if you were being awkward.

You were pressed against the side of the sofa even though nobody was sat directly near you, still trying to ensure you were taking up as little space on the furniture as possible in case somebody else wanted to sit or you were simply just in the way. You were grateful you’d developed this habit considering the door to the basement was opening again and you froze up as the light shone in from the top of the stairs.

“Finally, the chosen one has arrived.” Jake was yelling excitedly from somewhere you couldn’t see, laying flat on the carpet behind the round ottoman and you could only barely catch a glimpse of his arms being thrown up in mock praise.

You were staring at the stairs as the boot covered feet started to descend down and you knew who it was before he even reached the point where you could see his upper half, freezing even more at the way his eyes scanned over the unfamiliar faces in the basement before pausing on you.

You awkwardly pulled your sleeves over your hands and glanced back over at Sunoo was sitting in the chair closest to you and the couch, talking to Sunghoon about something you couldn’t quite make it out considering anxiety was fully building up now and you were slightly disoriented from the overstimulation in the room.

Much to your dismay and attempts to stop yourself, your eyes were drifting back over to the boy and you almost groaned when you realized he was still watching you.

Heeseung had, according to Joonie on the way here, been the one to originally start up the band and convince the others to take it as seriously as he did. He was the lead guitarist first and foremost but he dabbled in almost everything, including producing all of their original songs and covers and apparently forfeiting his basement as their studio considering the younger photos of him scattered around the walls.

His baby pink hair was in his face even more now than it had been when you’d saw him smoking outside, littered with random blonde patches that told you he had done it himself, and now you were positive he had multiple piercings throughout his face.

It was only getting worse for you when he was making his way over to the couch and taking the empty middle seat, directly next to you.

You were sat with your feet up on the fabric and hugging your knees close to your chest but you imagined if you’d been sat normally then your thighs would be press against his that had lost the tight ripped jeans and were now sporting some more casual black sweatpants.

“You want this Hee?” Sunghoon was saying from where he was sat on the floor besides Sunoo on the chair.

You glanced over to the boy just in time to see him shake his head in denial and a wave of surprise and relief washed over you, grateful you wouldn’t be the only one not smoking anymore. “You don’t smoke?” Riki was asking and Heeseung seemed to instinctively shake his head no.

Jay snorted out a half laugh half scoff and you watched the pink haired boy shoot him a sharp glare before his eyes were drifting over to you, almost like he was checking your reaction. Your eyebrows were furrowed forward in confusion, wondering why he was lying about smoking, he must’ve forgotten the fact you’d seen him outside with a cigarette only a few hours before.

Everybody fell back into their own individual conversations again and you started to relax finally, listening to the music playing softly in the smoke filled room.

“So did you end up liking it then?” Heeseung’s voice was coming from beside you and you looked over towards him with widened eyes, not expecting him to directly address you.

“W-what?” You were stuttering out and then immediately flushing in embarrassment when a concerned look passed over his intimidating face. He seemed nice enough but your closed mind couldn’t look past the piercings and the eyeliner still staining around his large eyes.

“The show.” He was quickly explaining, looking slightly embarrassed himself that you hadn’t understood what he was talking about. “You didn’t seem too excited when you were outside.”

You froze up in your spot considering he was directly referencing the conversation you’d had outside, in which you had told him begrudgingly and in complaint that you hadn’t been able to get out of going to the show that he was performing at. You didn’t respond for a few seconds and you were grateful that everybody was too stoned to keep up with your awkward conversation.

“It was… you guys were very..” You trailed off when you saw the expectant look on his face and you cleared your throat a bit, eyes darting down to the double piercings going through the thin skin of his lips and then back up to his eyes. “It was cool.”

“Just cool?” His lip was curling softly up into a half smirk at your extremely vague answer, shifting in his place on the couch so he was facing you better and you tried not to be extremely weird about the fact his arm was resting on the back of the sofa now and therefore his hand was dangling on the other side of your shoulders.

“Super cool?” You offered in a squeaky voice, wincing as your shoulders curled in on themselves.

He laughed softly at your answer and you were relieved that he found it somewhat funny and wasn’t totally offended that you didn’t have a string of compliments prepared for him. You did like the show much more than you thought you would and if you were able to get ahold of yourself, you would’ve told him how impressed you were as you watched him play.

But you weren’t that lucky and you knew you’d be stuck giving him half true statements that didn’t actually show how you truly felt about the set, turning your head back to face forward so you didn’t have to look at his face anymore.

You weren’t exactly sure why he had come to talk to you out of everybody in the room, knowing he was obviously a lot closer to his band mates and had even hung out with your male friends a few times from your knowledge in group settings. Joonie had told you that she thought the two of you were a bit similar considering he was also rarely at social events but you highly doubted the comparison considering the way he looked performing in front of an adoring and expectant crowd.

Still, you thought about the way he hung back at the end of the final song instead of interacting with the fans like the other members had and the fact you hadn’t been surprised when he wasn’t present in the basement at first.

“Are you two actually talking to each other or just sitting in weirdo silence?” Your head was picking back up to look over at Heejin who was sitting on the other side of the couch, next to Heeseung but leaning far enough away towards Jake and Jungwon that they didn’t touch at all.

You didn’t need to look at her to know who she was referring to but your stomach dropped a little when you met her gaze and confirmed she was referring to you, the others in the room also looking over considering her statement.

Heejin was in no way mean to you and she was actually your longest friend out of the group, knowing her since middle school which meant she was around to watch your social decline. She made jokes sometimes or pushed you too far out of your comfort zone but you always took it as her way of trying to help you loosen up like she knew you could, always stopping whenever you got visibly too overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the presence of people she admired or the buzz of a high settling over her that caused her to make the comment but it clearly crossed a line the two of you had silently established throughout the years, your face dropping at the unwanted attention.

“Heeseung is the master of weirdo silence.” Jake was adding on from the floor again and you could hear him giggling nonsensically, sitting up so you could see his head past the ottoman and frown at him.

“Yeah well I’d rather talk to..” Heeseung was starting harshly before trailing off and glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow. You paused for a few seconds and stared at him in confusion but realizing he was waiting for you to tell him your name, quickly whispering it to him and trying to ignore the small smile he gave you before turning back to look at the others. “I’d rather talk to Y/N than you deadbeats.”

The boys in the room were breaking out into small fits of laughters and instigating choruses of “Oo’s”. Fanning their hands out like they’d been burned and only settling down when Heeseung was rolling his eyes and sinking further into the couch.

Luckily they all seemed to let it go after that even though you were still left with a deeper pit in your stomach because of Heejin’s random dig at both you and Heeseung, roping him in to your anti social behavior and giving his own friends the opportunity to pile on top of it.

You were glancing over at him again from the corner of your eye, hesitantly shifting to try and catch his attention again. His gaze was snapping back to your face when you moved slightly and his eyebrows raised in question again, a lot softer than they had been when he was asking for your name and snapping back at your friends. You watched the way the metal balls surrounding his eyebrow stretched with the movement before licking your dry lips and speaking.

“Thanks.” The word slipped from your lips in a small breath and once again you felt disappointed that it was all you had managed to say, wishing you were able to express your gratitude to him more.

He didn’t seem to mind and his shoulders were lifting in a small shoulder, watching you curiously. “It’s no big deal. I don’t talk much either.”

“Even though you do all… that?” You were asking before you even processed the question falling from your lips and he looked equally surprised as you that you were continuing the conversation without needing prompting.

“Like perform?” His voice was lower now as you started to talk more and you had a feeling he didn’t want the others to listen in and find a way to intervene again. You gave him a soft nod, grateful he had understood your vague wording. “It’s different, I don’t really think of it like that. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m there in front of all those people.”

If you’d heard him say that last week or even this morning, you would’ve not fully understood what exactly he was trying to explain to you. Even now you were still a bit confused on what exactly the feeling was like but you immediately understood what he was referring to, remembering the way he was closing his eyes and leaning with the music like he was in his own world.

You must’ve fallen silent for too long as you were thinking about it and what that could possibly be like, how it would feel to live a life with that sort of overwhelming passion, because he was clearing his throat and shifting again.

“It’s like… well what do you do?” He was starting to try and find an analogy, assuming you didn’t understand and you froze up at the direct question.

“What do I do?” You were repeating back to him for clarification and he nodded earnestly, waiting to hear your answer. “I don’t think I really do anything.”

He seemed taken back by that and you were slightly embarrassed that you’d failed to answer his question properly. You’d thought about it before, being at the age where you should have something you were passionate about or a hobby that motivated you in some way.

You never really did much of anything on your own and you’d yet to find anything that gave you that sort of spark he’d be referring to, the type of spark that would cause you to do what you loved even if it meant pushing yourself past your limits or standing on a stage like you were born for it.

“What are you doing this weekend?” He was suddenly rushing out and your eyes widened in surprise again at the fact his voice had come out much louder now, like he’d forced himself to say it. You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then you were shaking your head to signal that you weren’t doing anything set in stone. “Come to our next show.”

“To your show?” You were repeating in bewilderment and he was nodding his head quickly as he scanned over your face hesitantly, wondering if you were going to reject him. Eventually you were biting the inside of your cheek after contemplating for a while and glancing at him. “O-okay.. yeah sure.”

——

“Y/N, the phone for you.” Your mothers screaming voice was floating up the stairs and you groaned softly into your pillow, laying on your stomach and overthinking the events of the previous weekend like you had been for days.

It was pretty uneventful after your conversation with Heeseung, both falling into a silence or offering small laughs and quick glances as you listened to your friends talk and get to know each other better. He must’ve been telling the truth about not talking much because nobody looked over at him once expectantly although you noticed his band mates keeping an eye on the two of you occasionally.

Eventually you and your friends had left the basement and the pink haired boy had spared you a quick wave through the window as the taxi pulled off.

You’d listened to your friends excitedly talk the entire way back to your neighbors and pry you for details about what you’d been talking about with him, not noticing the bitter expression on your face when you noticed how surprised they seemed that he’d chosen to speak to you.

Now it was Thursday and you were thinking about it all again, replaying it over and over and finding something new to be embarrassed about each time you did. Heeseung was surprisingly soft spoken and slightly awkward considering his appearance but you knew it held no parallel to how terrible you were at socializing.

“Y/N.” Your mom was screaming again and this time you rolled over as you groaned, letting it fill the room before you were getting off your bed and heading down the stairs.

Your mom was standing there with the phone in her hand, watching you with an excited expression and your face was pulling forward in confusion as your steps hesitantly slowed to a stop. “It’s a boy.” She was whispering and pointing at the phone with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

You were snatching the phone away from her and walking around the corner into the hallways, stretching the chord as far as it could possibly go and waving a dismissive hand at your mom when she was poking her around the corner in curiosity.

“Hello?” You were breathing into the phone and it was a heavy silence for a few seconds before you could hear somebody clearing their throat on the other side.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Heeseung.” He was announcing and you froze up at the sound of his soft voice coming through your speaker, clutching the phone tighter in your hand and shifting it against your ear. “Um.. like the guitar guy.”

You were laughing softly at the fact he felt the need to specify, most likely growing nervous from your extended silence. “I know who you are Heeseung.”

“Cool… yeah cool.” He was breathing back and letting out his own nervous laugh, a small smile building on your face at how awkward he seemed now. You liked how different he was in each setting, confident and sensual on stage and casual and calm when surrounded by his friends in a familiar area. Now you were seeing what he was like on his own, mirroring a personality similar to yours.

“D-did you need something?” You tried to keep your tone light so he didn’t think you were bothered by the fact he had called despite your confusion over how he’d gotten your number or what exactly he wanted.

Your heart was racing slightly as you listened to him inhale over the phone, feeling a bit ridiculous over your own reactions but you couldn’t help but think about his soft pink hair and the piercings your mom would definitely disapprove of. She glared at Heejin’s bare skin every time she came over during the summer so you couldn’t imagine her reaction to seeing Heeseung’s group of friends.

“I was just calling to make sure you were still going to the show and Sunghoon said I should tell you to bring your friends.” He was explaining in a low tone and you could hear shushing in the background, your smile widening at the realization he was around some of his friends. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to convince Heejin to give him a tattoo but it would be safer anyways with more people.”

“Alright, yeah we’ll be there.” You were telling him back swiftly and you surprised yourself by how naturally it came out of your mouth, no stutter or hesitation.

“Cool.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice as he said the word again, almost repeating it like he did the first time but seemingly catching himself before he did. “I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah… yeah you will.”

——

“So he like directly invited you.” Riki was asking for the sixth time that night and you sighed softly when he was bumping his elbow into your arm with a smile on his face, clearly excited about the recent development in your life.

“Is it that surprising?” Your tone was stiff along with your posture, somehow once again finding yourself in a cold line outside of a random concert venue downtown.

“Not at all Y/N.” Sunoo was quickly interjecting once he realized you were taking offense to their over excitement, offering him a small tired smile due to his habit of trying to make you feel better. “We are just happy for you.”

You were about to remind him that there was no reason to be happy or excited and that you and Heeseung had just gotten along, nothing else, but you were interrupted by the staff who was checking tickets approaching your group. You watched as he took a look at Riki’s and then his school ID, promptly marking his hand with a solid black X before he was turning towards you expectantly.

He was looking at your ID with a bored expression but before he was able to hand it back to you and give you a similar marking, he paused and did a double take as he looked at the words. “Y/N? You’re on the list.”

“The list?” Your voice was soft in confusion and buried under the sound of your friends excited squeals and laughters, feeling Joonie’s hands come up to squeeze your shoulders and shake you softly.

You weren’t understanding what was happening until you were being moved forward, hearing Heejin clarify that you all were allowed early entry before she was smiling brightly and practically caring you with the rest of them as you entered the venue ahead of everybody else. You felt a flush come up to your cheeks when you realized that Heeseung had clearly mentioned you to the staff of the building and that’s why you were currently skipping the line and heading towards the back of the venue.

It was a different place than last time, bigger and seemingly more concert specific in comparison to the bar you were at last time.

The staff member was leading you down a hallway until you were stopped in front of a door with chipping paint, a piece of paper stuck to it with tape and the bands name in big sharpie letters. You smiled softly at their names all scribbled around the bold font, knowing they must’ve stuck it outside themselves as a mock dressing room.

You felt a wave of anxiety rush up with the employee was knocking on the door twice before turning to head back outside and control the growing crowd but you didn’t have any time to panic before it was being thrown open.

“You came.” Heeseung’s eyes were wide as he looked down at you in surprise and you were parting your lips to answer him before your friends were impatiently pushing into the room, practically shoving you forward into him.

He helped steady you when you made a small noise of surprise and you were glancing up at him in embarrassment, face undoubtedly red considering he was holding onto your arms even once your feet were flat on the ground. “You look…”

You felt overwhelming self conscious when his gaze was dropping down, scanning over your outfit and body before meeting your eyes again. You’d mistakenly let Heejin and Joonie dress you after they practically spent two hours begging, remembering how awkward you felt being improperly dressed last time.

It felt even worse to be in clothes you weren’t at all used to or comfortable with and you couldn’t tell what Heeseung was thinking just based off his expression.

“It looks really good.” He was breathing out finally and you felt a wave of relief at his statement, and then self judgment for caring what he thought in the first place. “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable though? I have a sweater you can wear.”

You froze up slightly as he continued to speak to you in a calm voice, somehow sensing your anxiety over the outfit despite only speaking to you a few times. You were half flattered that he cared enough to lend you some clothes and half humiliated that he could tell you didn’t normally wear things like this.

He must’ve seen outfits like this on hundreds of girls every time he had a show, knowing half the crowd would be dressed similarly to you but wearing it with a confidence and aura that you severely lacked. You didn’t have an overwhelming presence like Heejin or an alluring personality like Joonie and you’d always felt bland in comparison.

You were awkwardly glancing around the makeshift dressing room and pleased to see your friends and the band engaging in their own excited conversations and not paying you any mind.

Then your gaze was landing on one of the mirrors across the room and you were freezing up when you caught sight of you and Heeseung, still standing closer than you’d thought you were with his hands touching your arms. You almost didn’t recognize yourself for a second and despite how awful the clothes felt against your skin, you couldn’t deny that you looked good standing next to him and his similar aesthetic.

“I’ll be alright.” You were turning back to him to answer his question definitively and you tried to hold eye contact with him for a second, easier considering his hair was falling into his face again.

He was wearing eyeliner like he had been the first time you’d seen him outside the venue but it was a lot bolder and messier this time, making his eyes even bigger than they already were but completely changing his energy and appearance in comparison to the version of him you’d seen in his basement.

“Are you nervous?” You weren’t sure why that was the next thing you said to him but his eyes lit up when you whispered the question, staring up at him with wide eyes and saying it so softly he almost didn’t catch it underneath the loud crowd in the distance and your friends behind him.

“I’m excited.” He was responding back and you knew he meant it, no sign of apprehension or hesitation on his face.

You’d never seen somebody look as intense as Heeseung did when he talked about performing, his entire demeanor changing from the awkward boy who you’d been speaking to, almost seeming unsure of himself after every sentence. He didn’t even seem to think at all when he spoke about music or being on stage and you watched him curiously as he rambled on about how it felt to be up there.

You figured he probably knew you wouldn’t ever be able to understand what he was talking about unless you did it yourself but you still felt giddy that he wanted to explain it to you.

He talked about it until another team member was poking his head in to let the boys know that soundcheck was about to start and then the doors would open, also being you and your friends queue to go and get spots in the front row.

“I’ll see you out there then?” He was smiling down at you and giving a gentle squeeze to your arm that he was still holding, your own breaking out on your face despite trying to withhold and you gave him a small nod of approval before he was disappearing out the door after the others.

Your friends were obviously excited for having caught the end of your interaction and although you rolled your eyes as they begun to tease you, you couldn’t rid yourself of the bright grin you were catching between your lips and you started to head back out into the hallway and towards where the crowd would be standing.

You felt okay for now but you were starting to get more and more anxious at the realization that soon the mass of people would surge inside towards you and you’d be stuck in your place against the barricade, white knuckling it as you contemplated heading to the back of the venue and watching from there instead so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by having a panic attack right in front of the band.

“You know..” Heejin was leaning in against your side to whisper into your ear and you felt her hand squeezing your side affectionately. “Jake said that Heeseung’s never invited anybody to a show before.”

She was pulling away just in time to see your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your face flushing a bright red at the knowing look she was giving you. “Not even his family?”

You knew that the bands music wouldn’t necessarily be everybody’s personal taste, especially those of an older generation, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly confused that he wouldn’t ever ask anybody to come watch him perform. He was clearly proud of what he had created and more passionate than anyone you’d met before.

“It’s just him and his dad I guess.” She was shrugging softly and glancing up at the stage as she spoke. “Apparently he’s a huge hard ass about him doing music.”

Your face was falling into a small frown at what she was saying but you didn’t have a chance to respond before the lights were shutting off and immediately being replaced by the same red ones the other venue had put on for their set, hearing the sounds of the doors opening and feet swiftly approaching the stage.

Anxiety was immediately building up as you were getting more and more constricted in the crowd but you felt slightly better knowing your friends were around you, feeling Riki not so subtly shift his position so he was stood behind you and you weren’t going to be subject to any stranger pressing into your body.

You were going to turn and give him a grateful smile but you were cut off by the sounds of the crowd screaming louder than you’d ever heard, confused on what was causing it before you realized the boys were already coming out onto the stage.

They were only silhouettes at first without the spotlights turned on but you could tell it was Sunghoon who had ended up directly in front of you, glancing across the stage to see Heeseung on the other side beside Jungwon again like he had been the other weekend.

Then the lights were coming on, soft enough to keep the red glow but illuminating each member and their instruments. You smiled widely and couldn’t help the scream that leapt from your throat, joining in with your friends and the rest of the crowd as excitement started to fill you. You’d never been in a setting like this before and you were quickly understanding why it was so addicting.

You were already watching Heeseung from the moment he stepped on stage so you definitely didn’t miss the way his eyes were scanning the front section of the crowd, only settling once they passed by you before quickly backtracking as a smile curled up on his lips.

Jungwon was starting to speak into the mic and introduce them like you’d heard him do last week but you were preoccupied, watching the pink haired boy and giving him a small nod of acknowledgment with a soft smile.

Then the show was starting and you quickly realized that what you had seen last time was nothing in comparison to actually being in the crowd, an energy taking over you that you didn’t even know you possessed. You were dancing along with Heejin and gripping Sunoo’s arm in excitement as he screamed and sang along, all the while keeping your eyes on Heeseung.

He was almost like a completely different person on stage, more than just his energy considering the fact even his gaze was new to you. He was a lot more intimidating when he was staring down at you with hooded eyes, the eyeliner more smudge now and thankfully distracting you from the skillful way his fingers moved along the guitar strings.

It was hard not to think about him to the level you’d been trying to deny when he was looking at you for almost the entirety of the show, seemingly checking on you when the crowd got particularly wild and at other times almost looking smug because of how transfixed you seemed. His lip would curl into a cocky smirk that you didn’t even think he could manage and you’d feel your heart thump alive in a way it never had before.

You spent the next few months following this exact routine with him.

Every week, in the middle of it or sometimes as early as the day after a show, he’d call your house and your mom would yell your name up the stairs. He’d softly invite you to the next show and you’d excitedly tell him that you’d be there, despite knowing he already knew the answer and you knowing he just liked to hear you say it.

Sometimes you’d take your friends with you but eventually you got comfortable enough to go by yourself, you’d be let in early with a small smile to the bouncers and you’d always ask him the same question before he got on stage.

“Are you nervous?” You’d say for the dozenth time even though you knew by now that he wasn’t but every single time his eyes would light up with that fire and passion that you’d been so sucked in by and he’d always repeat the same words back in the same tone.

“I’m excited.”

Heeseung liked it best when you came to his shows so you did it every weekend you were free, even when you’d get too overwhelmed and have to sit in the dressing room or behind the stage if it was available, he just liked knowing you were there to see him and he expressed it to you every single time.

You got closer over that time outside of watching him play too, taking longer to get over that awkwardness you both carried outside of the venues when the adrenaline died down but eventually you’d stopped hanging out solely within your respective groups and started to spend some time alone together.

He’d pick you up in his shitty run down car and your mom would glare at him from the living room window, watching his hair go from pink to blue then to a red that had taken you back a few steps with its brightness when you’d first seen it.

“That’s.. a strong choice.” You’d said after you buckled your seatbelt and you were reaching forward to run your hand through it before you even had a second to think about it.

“My dad hates the color red.” Was all he had responded with and you watched the side of his face as he smiled softly and put the car into drive.

Heeseung wasn’t the most stable person to be around at times but you eventually realized that you’d never felt as comfortable taking up space as you did when you were with him, an addicting feeling that you almost had no choice but to lean forward into and you were thankful that he was always around to catch you.

You’d sit in the basement with the boys as they practiced new songs and Jake had even attempted to teach you to play some songs on the guitar, going to him for help because it felt less intimidating than asking one of the actual guitar players.

It was somehow easy to mesh into their routines and hobbies despite how different you were than them and your most fun high school memories all featured your old friends and new ones hanging out together, all packed into booths at late night diners after a particularly good show or getting makeshift tattoos from Heejin in the familiar basement that you’d spent most of the year in by the time graduation rolled around.

Heeseung was a year older than you and already graduated before you’d met him but he’d made sure to attend and watch you and your friends walk, minus Riki who still had a year left.

You’d all rushed out of the ceremony hall and squished in his car so you could drive across town and watch the rest of his friends at their own school, cheering for them all in your different colored graduation gowns and ignoring the embarrassed look on Jungwon’s face when he gave his class president speech at the beginning.

There were a lot of highs but it all came with lows too and those took you longer to adjust to.

You weren’t exactly sure how to handle it when Heeseung would show up at your house late at night, sometimes bleeding from various places on his face or panting like he’d run all the way there. You’d quickly pull him inside and ignore your moms questioning shout asking who was at the door.

Eventually you had sat her down after dinner and told her that sometimes Heeseung had issues with his dad and he didn’t have anywhere else to go, which was a slight lie on your part but you knew it felt true to him considering he never considered any other options before heading in your direction even if it was across town and a lot less welcoming than one of his friends houses.

She never was a big fan of him, of any of your friends but especially him, despite the gentle way he always said hello to her upon entry and his countless attempts to get on her good side. You’d tried to explain to him that it wasn’t anything personal or anything he was doing wrong and it was just how your mother was but he seemed particularly upset about it despite normally not caring what people thought of him.

“It’s your mom, it’s different.” He was stressing his words to emphasize that it was because she was related to you that it mattered to him and you were furrowing your eyebrows and turning to look at him.

You were sat on your bed together, two months before it happened, and sharing a pair of headphones that was playing a scratchy demo of a song he’d been working on. You were popping the tape out of the device so it would stop abruptly as you sat up a little bit to be able to see his face better.

“Why do you say stuff like that?” You were asking him and he sighed softly like he always did when you begun to pry for answers regarding his behavior towards you.

Despite the way you felt around him and the fact you’d practically become inseparable in the summer following graduation, you’d never directly talked about what your relationship was or even crossed a line that would definitely give you an unspoken answer. Outside of some longing glances and hands resting a little too low on your back, you’d remained pretty platonic other than your own inner thoughts and emotions.

“Don’t know.” He was mumbling softly as he looked at you and you squinted your eyes at him in disbelief but eventually you sighed and shifted back so you were resting against your headboard again, shoulder pressed into his tightly.

When it finally happened, you pretty much assumed that your life was going to abruptly end.

The boys had been growing in popularity now that they were out of school and able to do music full time, still underaged but building enough connections with the local music scene and venues to be able to play more frequently and to older and grittier crowds.

Mixed with the rise of the internet and MTV music videos filled with long haired rockstars and half naked women, it didn’t take long for their talents to get noticed by a few different people who swore they were from the next big company and could guarantee to make Echoes of Riot each millionaires respectfully, offers that were all swiftly turned down by Heeseung (with the advice of Sunoo who had begun to fill a management like role within the group).

You’d never paid much mind to what stardom would mean for the boys despite believing to the deepest part of your heart that they deserved it and were more talented than most the people you heard over the radio. For some reason, some childish idiotic reason, you figured they’d spend the rest of your lives being teenagers playing in bars around your small hometown.

Then one night after a particularly long show, all the boys panting and sweaty as they headed back to their dressing rooms, a man had approached them similarly to the way others did almost nightly.

You knew right away that something was different this time and your friends did too, watching silently as the group stopped in their steps towards the back rooms and actually begun to pay attention to what the man was saying. Heeseung’s eyes were flickering up to yours and you raised your eyebrows at him from where you sat at the bar, shifting out of your seat when he beckoned you closer with a quick flick of his fingers.

The rest of your friends followed you and all of you made your way back to the rooms with the band and the man.

He didn’t seem at all bothered by the additional people in the room as he started to repeat his pitch behind closed doors and your heart started to clench nervously when you realized why he seemed so different.

Min Yoongi actually cared about the music quality and spreading a proper message through your work and performances, opening his monologue with descriptions of how he felt hearing and watching the videos Riki had been posting online of the group and you watched as his eyes twinkled with a passion you’d only ever seen before from the boy sitting next to you.

His hand was resting on your arm and draping over your shoulder on the couch but he couldn’t have been further away from you in that moment, holding onto every word Yoongi was saying and leaning forward occasionally to enthusiastically agree with something he was saying.

It was a jarring change after seeing him barely give the other music people a second of his time for the last few months but you understood that they had this connection you simply weren’t capable of understanding, a mutual trust built through having the same dream and passion and by the end of the first meeting, even without anything even halfway confirmed, you knew things were going to change from then on out.

Yoongi didn’t have a lot of money to invest into the boys but he was dedicated to promoting them and helping them with levels of production you’d only get with decades of experience, upping their discography to even higher levels and it wasn’t long before he was proving himself right.

“Tour?” Your voice was breaking around the word Heeseung had just said, continuing his sentence afterwards but you hadn’t heard a thing he’d said after that, your ears ringing as your face paled. “You’re leaving?”

He was faltering at the unexpected upset in your voice and you would’ve felt guilty for not matching his level of enthusiasm but you couldn’t help the wave of panic overwhelming you as you continued to try and process what he was saying.

“Hey, hey Y/N listen to me.” His voice was soft and you could feel his hand reaching forward to touch and cup your cheek, softly swiping his thumb over your smooth hot skin and shifting on the bed so he was closer to you. “It would only be for a few months, then I’d be coming back. We’d all be coming back.”

You’d somehow not processed the fact that going on tour meant the other boys would be also leaving with him and another wave of sickness swept over you at the realization you’d be losing most of your friends in one swoop, the most constant and positive thing in your entire life since you’d met them.

“I don’t want to leave, baby you know I’d never just leave.” He was quickly continuing when he realized he’d made it worse and your eyes shot up to him at the use of the pet name falling from his lips so casually despite never hearing it directed towards you before. He didn’t even seem to notice that he had said it and he was continuing on despite the surprise on your face. “But… I mean this is it.”

His words were vague but you knew exactly what they meant.

This was the end of the road for the life you’d been so happily living because despite how content and happy you were watching them play small and intimate shows, Heeseung had this hunger for more that would never be satisfied in a place like your hometown.

He didn’t mean to break your heart of course and you were definitely at fault for stupidly falling in love with a rockstar, falling victim to the oldest cliche in the book as you sat at the bus station and cried into Joonie’s shoulder. You watched as their tour bus got further and further out of sight before it was turning a corner and disappearing with all of them on it.

Things were the roughest they’d ever been for the first few months the boys were gone.

Your typical routine had been shattered and you were back to existing like a corpse, moving around from one task to the next with no real excitement or purpose. You’d never necessarily gained one but being around somebody as passionate and driven as Heeseung was like getting a secondhand high and you’d been riding the wave of his interest for the last year, now alone out at sea and stuck scrubbing the counters of a coffee shop in the small downtown area of your city.

You tried to write for the first month or two but eventually it got too hard for you to handle and you started to let Heeseung’s letters pile up. He’d still call your home phone but your mom stopped letting you know when he did and sometimes you’d hear her softly telling him that you weren’t feeling good and she’d have you call back later. She never brought it up and neither did you.

He’d call Heejin and Riki too and sometimes you’d hear his voice when you were talking to Sunoo on the phone. He’d went with them on tour after Yoongi had asked him to be their official team manager, giving him more time to handle the business side of things while Sunoo dealt with their personal schedules and issues. You’d listen to your friend lie and say he was talking to his sister and you’d thank him softly as he sighed and asked why you couldn’t just talk to your shared friend.

You didn’t know how to explain that Heeseung was something you needed to get clean from and hearing from him in small doses would make it ten times harder for you to function.

It was too much to say that his letters kept you awake all night crying as you read about how much he missed you followed by random sketches and song lyrics he was writing about you. They wouldn’t understand why you dropped a full plate of food the first time you heard them on the radio at work or why you stayed up all night to see their first actual interview on TV.

Eventually people stopped mentioning the band to you or at least spoke like the main guitarist and face of the group didn’t exist. It was easy enough to avoid for the first six months and then the articles started to roll out.

The boys hadn’t come home after their first tour and they were “temporarily” staying out in New York where there was more of a network and better opportunities. Part of you was grateful Heeseung hadn’t moved back to town, knowing you’d run into him eventually but you couldn’t stop thinking about him regardless considering the news being put out with his name on the headlines.

“That’s his third fight this week Sunoo.” You were spitting over the phone, balancing it between your shoulder and ear as you aggressively scrubbed at a dish that’d already been clean for the past few minutes. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping them in check?”

“You don’t think I’m trying Y/N?” His voice was exhausted and desperate and you felt bad immediately for snapping at him, knowing your real anger didn’t result from him. “I have no idea what to do, I’ve never seen him like this.”

All the boys had been subject to some controversy as they continued to gain quick fame and admirers but like always, your brain was laser focused on Heeseung. He was getting into drunken fights routinely and being reported with multiple women who may or may not be fans who like to kiss and tell, photos of him and the other boys looking worse and worse each passing weekend as their rockstar lifestyle truly blossomed into an absolute disaster.

Eventually you started to find yourself ignoring the news again, becoming accustomed to it and already knowing what it was going to be every time Riki sighed entering your job and slid a magazine in your direction.

Three years passed like this and while you had stopped crying every night from how much you missed Heeseung and your other friends, if you could even consider them that considering the lack of communication over the years, you still felt that empty feeling in your skin as you robotically went about your routines and lifeless activities that didn’t hold any real purpose or grand result.

At the end of the third year, stretching into a point where you’d been away from Heeseung longer than you were ever with him, Heejin had told you that the band was back in town.

She’d called you and hesitantly let you know that she had run into Jay at the local grocery store a few hours ago, citing that she hadn’t thought much about it until she was back at her tattoo shop and thinking about you possibly running into one of the boys for as long as they stuck around this time. You’d thanked her for the heads up and then buried your head into your arms in upset, both at how little distance was between you and Heeseung and also regarding the fact Sunoo hadn’t even bothered to tell you they were around.

Half of you expected it, knowing you weren’t teenagers anymore standing in a cold concert line and he didn’t owe you any update on his whereabouts, clearly not telling Heejin either considering her shock upon seeing a familiar face.

Joonie however seemed to know all about it when you hesitatingly mentioned it over lunch with her and Riki after he’d asked you why you seemed so on edge. “Well it’s been on their tour show list for like four months.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?” Riki was voicing your thoughts before you could and his face was curled up in annoyance and betrayal as he shoved a fry into his mouth, clearly just as caught off guard as you and hurt considering he’d also gotten close to the members before they’d left and he was friends with Sunoo for as long as you.

“You always tell me not to talk about them in front of Y/N.” She was whining out and you glanced at the younger boy who looked slightly sheepish as she said something he clearly meant to keep private.

She wasn’t necessarily wrong and you’d grown to realize being around her was going to be hard considering how big of a fan she remained of the band even after their decline into scandal, simultaneously acting like any other fan girl and somehow also constantly bragging to others about how she knew them personally before they’d blown up. Maybe she had mentioned their return at some point but it’d been years since you started to tune her out.

“So they’re not staying?” You were finally speaking again, your voice weak and curious and she gave you a knowing look before nodding and patting your hand.

You weren’t sure why you felt overwhelmingly disappointed that they’d eventually leave again despite the fact you planned to spend the entire time they were here avoiding them and hiding out in your apartment. It was probably for the same reason she was giving you a pity filled look and Riki was picking at the skin around his nails.

It only took a few days for Joonie to push the limit on how much of her interest in the band you could take, answering her late night call to hear her hysterical as she screamed over the sound of passing cars and told you she’d completely stalled on the highway and was going to miss the show.

You told yourself that you began immediately putting on your shoes and grabbing your keys because you were a good friend and you kept repeating it in your head the entire drive to her location, swearing over and over that it had nothing to do with putting yourself closer to Heeseung. Even after her and her two friends had gotten in your car with his face on their tshirts, you swallowed your tongue and promised your heart it wasn’t for any other reason.

It wasn’t because you wanted to see the thousands of fans outside the arena, the show being on the nicer side of town and twenty minutes away from the venues they used to hold small performances for.

They thanked you continuously as you parked and then Joonie was pulling you aside to guilty whisper that you’d need to get your parking validate to be able to leave and return to pick them back up. A wave of nausea rolled over you but you were still convincing yourself you didn’t care so you swallowed your sickness and gave her a tight smile before following them outside the car.

“The booths over there.” She was telling you once you’d gotten inside and she had a wide smile on her face that matched her friends, clutching her ticket and practically beaming with excitement. “So we’ll see you at 11:30?”

“Mhm.” You didn’t trust your voice enough to speak and not give away how you were feeling so you hummed out a response to her question you barely processed before watching them squeal and walk towards the actual check in and entrance.

You rubbed your fingers together anxiously before glancing to your right and sighing seeing the line of people waiting to get their parking validated, teenage girls who looked like they barely could drive mixed in with dads and boyfriends who looked just as exhausted and irritated as you were starting to feel.

For a second you considered just leaving the girls there and asking Heejin or Riki to pick them up afterwards so you could drink yourself delirious and forget you’d ever been this close to the band but your heart clenched thinking about them having to experience the same thing and you told yourself again that you were trying to be a good friend.

You’d been standing in the line for twenty minutes, holding onto your last strand of patience and curiously listening to the fans around you talking about the boys with so much awe and wonderment.

You couldn’t help but smile at some things, hearing them gush about Jungwon’s cheeks or rave about how sexy Sunghoon’s newest guitar was and you felt a bit stupid for the pride filling your chest. You’d been avoiding them and their music, never listening to anything they’d put out in recent years but you felt happy for them knowing they were still igniting that same excitement in people even if they seemed to have lost the passion themselves.

It was almost exactly twenty one minutes later when you were feeling something tap against your shoulder, whipping your head to the side to see who had bumped into you before freezing up completely.

He had a mask on and a hat almost covering his eyes but you knew immediately who it was, eyes widening as you looked at him and then glanced around your surroundings to see if anybody had recognized him too.

“The fans don’t pay much attention to anyone without an instrument.” Sunoo was saying and you could hear him smiling even if you couldn’t see most of his face, breathing out a sigh of relief and pulling him in for a hug before you had a second to think about it.

He accepted it immediately and you were grateful that he wasn’t being distant with you despite the fact that was all you’d shown each other in recent years, melting into your hold as your eyes pricked with tears considering how much taller and thinner he was now. Sometimes when you thought of the boys, they were frozen in time and still teenagers in your head and you felt a bit dizzy as the illusion broke right in front of you.

“How’d you know I was here?” You were whispering out into his chest and then pulling back to stare up at him in amazement, scanning over his covered face.

“Sunghoon saw the hundreds of messages Joonie had sent… she actually had the guts to ask him to pick her up after her car stalled.” He was explaining and you felt embarrassed for your friend even though Sunoo was laughing like it was something funny. You got annoyed with her behavior but she was still your friend and you almost felt offended for her knowing they’d all been laughing at her attempts to reach out, no matter how baseless her connection with them seemed on their side. “We figured that you would’ve been the one to answer her calls.”

“We?” You were asking the second the word fell from his lips and a flash of regret passed over his face. “Do they all know I’m here?”

“Except for him.” He was explaining and you felt his hand squeezing your arm to try and calm you down, a flash of familiarity running through you at the feeling despite slowly recognizing the boy in front of you less and less. “But I imagine one of them is going to slip up sooner or later.”

You were nodding in understanding but your heart started to thump with anxiety and you were grateful that the arena was so full, hoping Heeseung wasn’t dumb enough to run out into a waiting room of fans to try and see you.

“I have to go.” You were practically forcing the words out and your face was pulling into a grimace as you said them, feeling short of breath and dizzy as your past and present finally started to collide despite your years of effort. “Can you…”

You were gesturing towards the parking validation ticket in your hand and he glanced down at it before looking back at your panicked eyes and nodding softly, squeezing your arm one more time before he was taking it and giving you the go ahead to get out of the arena before your chest exploded.

You didn’t know exactly what to say to him, you weren’t sure if this was a see you later or another long term goodbye and he seemed to be thinking the same thing, nodding again when you smiled sadly at him and took a few steps backwards.

Nearly losing your footing as you turned around, you were dizzyingly making your way out of the arenas main center and pushing back out into the chilled air. Your lungs tried to suck in deep breaths and you hurriedly made your way back to the parking garage but you were failing miserably and you eventually gave up all together, pausing in your quick strides and resting again the building with your eyes shut tight.

It wasn’t at all quiet, fans still gathered outside before the show and traffic beeps and honks as people tried to get in and out of the busy area, but your head felt empty and shut down.

The sound of footsteps approaching you crept into your dizzy brain and you took a deep breath before looking up, somehow already knowing who it was going to be without so much as a glance. He was stopping a few feet away from you when you looked up and your legs felt weaker as you stared at him in silence.

He was wearing a mask and a hat like Sunoo and whilst you’d been disappointed earlier about not being able to see your old friends face, now you were extremely grateful for the coverage. It didn’t help much considering you could still see the most recognizable part of him, his big eyes blinking at you in shock.

“You don’t look that surprised.” Heeseung’s voice was shockingly similar to how it was last time you’d heard it in person, the tone only slightly deeper and the only major change being the lifelessness behind his words as he watched you stand up straight.

He was right, for some reason you weren’t at all shocked to see him in front of you but he was in the same spot as you considering he came to find you in the first place. “Should I be? You’re here aren’t you?”

You heard him scoff softly before he was turning his head to look around the area, handful of fans still wandering around but slowly starting to disperse as they made their way insides to find their seats and buy the merch. He was glancing back at you quickly and then he was reaching up to take his mask off.

He didn’t say anything for a while after he took it off and you just stared at him, scanning over his face and the difference that time had handed to him. His features were a lot sharper now, growing into his nose and ears perfectly and you once again were hit with the reality that you’d been apart for a long time and the boy you knew was long gone.

“Sunoo validated your ticket.” He was starting to speak suddenly, awkwardness seeping into his tone due to your prolonged silent stare and you watched him dig into his pocket to retrieve the crumbled up piece of paper the parking machine had given you. “He got busy so I just brought it out.”

“He got busy?” You questioned and took a step forward away from the building, taking it from him swiftly and wincing when your finger brushed against his. “You’re the one in the band.”

He didn’t say anything to that, clearly lying about why he had been the one to bring the ticket out but making no move to correct himself or attempt to be honest with you. You didn’t really mind considering you were in a similar boat, having no real reason to rest again the building like you had other than buying yourself more time in the area.

“You’re not staying?” He was asking and his voice broke slightly which caused a large frown to form on your face, not sure why he had to even ask considering you both knew you weren’t going to watch his show.

“I’ll be back after to..” You awkwardly trailed off and lifted your hand that was clutching the parking ticket, indicating the reason you were there and watching him carefully. “Are you nervous?”

He tensed up as the familiar words fell from your lips and you felt like the air stopped moving for a second before he answered. He’d heard it asked thousands of times since it last was in your voice in that specific tone but it never bothered him before after the first year.

It was asked genuinely by other people, actually wondering if he was feeling nervous or at times doubting his abilities and using it as a way to get under his skin. Nobody ever made the simple question feel as important as you did and he understood why now that he was older and had plenty of time to think about it. You asked him, not because you thought he was or you figured he wouldn’t be able to handle the stage and the pressure, but because you knew it ignited a fire in him.

You’d ask him just to hear him repeat back in a firm voice how excited he was, to see that passion flare up in his eyes and give him an opportunity to voice some solid self confidence before he got up there to perform.

You knew right away that the phrase brought him back as far in time as it did you but your stomach turned at the blank look on his face, nothing arising to the surface at the triggered memory and instead he almost looked like he was deflating as you stood there.

“I’m just… tired.” He was eventually muttering back and clearing his throat before anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, both of you knowing the weight of his unusual answer and preparing to cripple under it once you were out of the suffocating hold his gaze had on you.

The both of you stood there for a few seconds longer before you could hear the screaming getting louder from inside, his head turning towards the building before looking back at you with a defeated expression. You knew without him saying it that he needed to go and that same feeling you had with Sunoo started to creep up again, not knowing what type of goodbye this was.

“There’s a second show tomorrow.” He was rushing out and then chewing on his lip ring as he avoided your questioning gaze. “You’ll be on the list.”

He glanced at you one more time but he seemed to understand that you weren’t going to give him a definite response, nodding his head in conclusion before he was turning around and jogging back towards the side entrance of the arena.

All the air returned to your lungs once he was finally out of sight and then immediately left again once you broke into a heavy sob, stumbling back a bit before quickly gathering your emotions and trying your best to hold yourself together.

You were quickly wiping your tears and glancing around to make sure nobody had been a witness to your abrupt meltdown, reminding yourself why you were there in the first place and heading back to your car like your world hadn’t just been taken off pause.

——

It had only taken you two seconds after the invitation fell from Heeseung’s lips to decide that you were going to go to the show.

He had said it like it was a question but the look in his eye told you that he didn’t think you’d come, but he still had invited you and that stupid part of you felt like that had to mean something. You’d had Riki pick the girls up from the concert that night and you ignored Joonie’s calls and the countless uploads she’d had from the concert.

You didn’t need to see the boys performing like nothing had happened, like your entire life hadn’t been flipped outside down with just a few sentences from the boy you’d tried your hardest to forget about the past few years.

It was a bit hypocritical considering you were currently back at the same exact place you were running from yesterday, this time walking in the opposite direction of the parking validation booth and awkwardly approaching the ticketing line. You felt like an idiot telling the staff that you were on the list, seeing their annoyed expressions and knowing they must hear it a dozen times a night from fan girls trying to get backstage.

“Nice try but there’s only ever been one name on the list and trust me, that seats never been taken.” The man was talking to you in a bored tone and your heart clenched at the implication of what he was saying.

You wondered if it was something Heeseung had done at the beginning of the tour in case you decided to come to one of the shows but he knew you well enough to know you never would and you certainly would never stride in the place without a ticket expecting to be on the list.

Eventually you figured that he had put you on there with the hopes that one day he’d have the guts to invite you and your heart shattered a bit more thinking about the fact that he never did, never even attempting as far as you were concerned and aware of. You cleared your throat awkwardly and rummaged in your bag to pull out your ID and hand it to the man silently.

His eyes flickered down to it for a second before looking back up at your face and you saw a wave of shock come over him, immediately followed by embarrassment for doubting you in the first place.

You gave him an awkward half smile and then an appreciative nod when he was stepping aside and allowing you to enter the main performance area. You were pausing at the top of the entrance way, eyes scanning over the large arena and feeling a bit sick considering how many seats were there and how few of them were empty.

You were starting to regret showing up and preparing to turn around and head back out before the show started but you were snapped out of your panic when your phone was ringing in your pocket. You were snatching it out in hopes that it was one of your friends trying to calm you down but your eyebrows furrowed when you saw it was an unknown number.

Finger hovering over the decline button, you had half the mind to consider the fact it might be Heeseung and you were answering it and putting it to your ear before you had a second to think about it.

“You actually came.” You immediately tensed up when the voice was filtering through the speaker, different and raspier but you knew who it was from the first word.

“How do you know I’m here?” You were dumbly asking and glancing around you like he was going to be standing in the shadows somewhere, frowning slightly when he laughed into the phone.

“He told them to alert him immediately if you ever showed up.” Jake was saying as an explanation and halfway confirming your suspicions about how long you’d been kept on the list despite never coming or reaching out to them. “And you’re finally here.”

“I’m not staying.” You were saying quickly and a rough edge seeped into your voice, something you hadn’t had last time he knew you but he also hadn’t been so cocky and demeaning last time you spoke to him so you were equal in that sense.

He was sighing softly and you paused at the sound, not expecting him to sound so defeated. You’d spoken to Jake more than the others over the years, only a few times but he had come home once or twice to visit family and it was hard to avoid him considering he actively was seeking you and the others out each time.

You weren’t really sure why he kept coming around and eventually you realized that he didn’t seem to know why either, looking more and more lost and less like himself every time you saw him. Jake was always so carefree and happy to be around that time you’d all spent together, genuinely seeming like he felt lucky for all of you and the music they were making together.

This new version of him was the most jarring to you out of everybody else because he had gotten sad and then he had gotten very very cold, almost angry every time you saw him and always feeling like he was on the edge of snapping.

You imagine that helped him out on the stage and you finally felt like he fit the rough drummer image that had been given to him by fans and media despite never making that connection yourself when you had known him. So to hear him sigh softly hearing that you were planning on leaving before they even performed, you were stopping in your tracks and finding yourself willing to hear him out.

“He doesn’t know you’re here yet and he’s driving himself so insane that he’s sick in the bathroom.” He was saying in a lower tone and you imagined that staff and other members were around him considering how soon the show was going to start. “No one can get him to come out but I have a feeling on who might.”

Tears were filling your eyes as he spoke about Heeseung’s condition but you were shaking your head in denial despite the fact he couldn’t see you, wiping your face with your sleeve before whispering back to him in a shaky tone. “I can’t do this Jake.”

“Please Y/N.” He was quickly retorting back and he sounded so similar to how he used to that you felt floored. His tone was genuine and filled with concern for his friend and you’d almost forgotten what he sounded like when he cared about something. “All these years you haven’t answered him, please don’t leave yet. Atleast get him on stage and then you can go and I’ll make sure he can’t find you for the rest of the time we’re here.”

Your breath was catching at the last half of his rushed statement and you were covering your mouth for a second with a shaky hand. It took you a few breaths to think of what to say and he stayed silent on the other line throughout it.

“Promise me.” You were mumbling out and clutching the device so hard you were worried it would crack, hearing nothing on the other side for a bit as your stomach bubbled with thick anxiety. “Promise me you’ll keep him away from me after this.”

It went silent again and you were almost positive that he had hung up the phone before he was speaking again in a defeated tone. “I promise.”

——

If you had gone back to the week before and told yourself that you’d be standing in a room with all of your old friends, you would’ve probably hid under the counter at work and begged future you to leave you alone.

You were trying your best to not showcase the fact that you were absolutely freaking out and filling with more and more devastation every time one of them spoke in their lifeless and annoyed tones, bickering behind you about the purpose of your presence and debating wether it was a good idea or not to allow you to be the one to try and gather Heeseung.

“He invited her for a reason Hoon.” Sunoo was sighing in your defense but he didn’t seem optimistic about it either, barely sparing you a glance since you walked through the door and anxiously checking his walkie talkie every few minutes to try and update the staff.

“Because he saw her yesterday and it fucked him up, he’s not in his right mind.” Jay was snapping before Sunghoon could answer for himself and you flinched at his loud tone, taking a step back when he was standing off the couch and throwing an arm in your general direction to emphasize that it was your fault.

You were frowning deeply at the accusation, not understanding how it could possibly be your fault that Heeseung was having a melt down especially when they didn’t seem that rare for him, his general anxiety and mental health another constant topic in the tabloids.

They continued to argue and you did your best to tune them out while simultaneously trying to ignore the fact Jungwon was silently staring at you from the corner and Jake was only a few feet away from you with his arms crossed. He hadn’t said much to come to your defense but he was continuously shooting you glances like he was trying to monitor your reactions.

You might as well have been in a room full of amped up strangers, possibly high as they paced and jittered about and a part of you felt like you were grieving now that you knew there would be no way to pretend things were still the same, no more pretending time was frozen and nothing had changed.

“Have any of you been able to calm him down this entire time?” You were suddenly asking from near the wall and it was the first time you’d spoken since you’d gotten in there.

The reaction was immediate and varying from each boy, half of them tensing up and looking more frustrated at the sound of your familiar voice and the others almost instantaneously losing the tension in their shoulders with softened eyes. It was like they hadn’t fully processed you being there until you spoke, talking around you in hypotheticals like you imagined they’d been doing over the years.

You wondered if you were a topic they were supposed to avoid mentioning like Heeseung had become for you. Then you selfishly wondered if they’d missed you at all.

Nobody answered for a while and then Jungwon was shaking his head softly, holding your gaze with a sympathetic look that caused you to nod in understanding. “Isn’t it worth a try then?”

“We have 15 minutes.” Sunghoon was saying in that same cold tone he’d been using but it held some level of defeat this time, slumping back into the couch and saying no form of the objection he had voiced so quickly earlier.

You were being directed to a hallway suddenly by Sunoo and before you could say anything or ask why he was ushering you out, he was hastily pointing to a door and scurrying off back towards the dressing room. You didn’t necessarily need him to explain, hearing the soft sobs and gags coming from behind the door now, but you wished he had given you a bit more time to collect yourself or think of something to say.

You took a deep breath and decided to not stall and try to gather some of the might you had the other night, pushing through the door and pausing once you were on the other side of it.

“If I have to tell you to fuck off one more time I’m going to get everybody in this shitty arena fired.”

Heeseung’s voice was coming from one of the stalls and your entire body locked up at the sound of it, never hearing him quite so angry before but also never hearing him sound so empty and wrecked. He was clearly holding back his sobs now that somebody was in there but you could see one of his leather boots poking into the stall next to his, laying on the floor and most likely clutching the toilet.

You were approaching the plastic door without saying anything and tugging on it softly once you were close to it, your fingers curling around the top of it and pulling it towards you with a small shake.

Heeseung’s words about the arena being shitty weren’t necessarily incorrect considering the lock on the door was immediately budging and it was flying open towards you, revealing you standing behind it to his swollen eyes and allowing you to see his frame curled up on the floor in a sickened despair.

He looked beyond surprised to see you and you were almost worried he was going to throw up again just from the shock of your arrival, his body locking up and then immediately tensing even more when you were taking a reluctant step inside the stall with him. You may have been practically strangers with a heavy history now but you still knew Heeseung better than you knew yourself most days and you felt that same comfort and familiarity as you always did.

So you were sinking to the dirty floor across from him and sighing softly, letting your head lean against the wall of the stall and glancing at him hesitantly.

“You came.” He was finally breathing out and his voice sounded tight because of your close proximity, not necessarily touching but the closest you’d been in almost half a decade. He was struggling to sit up but he eventually managed and stretched his legs out in your direction, both of you sitting in the same position across from each other.

“You invited me.” You whispered back to him with a small sad smile that was slipping away as fast as it came. “I was on the list.”

He didn’t laugh but you could tell he appreciated your attempts to lighten the situation, eyes softening slightly at the way your shoulders raised into a small casual shrug.

“What’s happening Heeseung?” You were asking him but you both knew what it was already and you felt just as sick as he looked as you said his name, almost feeling like a swear word as it fell from your lips naturally. “Why are we here right now?”

“You…” He was pausing as his voice shook and you watched him closely, not missing the way he was avoiding looking in your direction and instead staring down at the shaky hands that were picking at his fingers in his lap. “You stopped answering the letters, you wouldn’t talk to me anymore.”

Your shoulders deflated as he spoke in a hurt voice, clearly being bothered by your lack of communication and not at all understanding why you had done it in the first place. You admit that it was a bit childish on your side to completely cut him off without a final conversation but you knew Heeseung would never just let you go like you needed.

“It was only supposed to be a few months Hee, you said you’d come home and you never did.” You tried to keep your tone less accusatory than his but you were also extremely hurt by what he had done.

You’d spend the entirety of your time with Heeseung making him your source of happiness and that was your first mistake because he was always bound to leave. He was always set after something much bigger than your town could ever offer but you guess a stupid part of you thought that you would be enough for him to stay.

You didn’t want him to give up his dreams, it was the entire reason you fell for him in the first place but you just wished time could stay frozen in that summer.

It’d been years and you still could feel him sitting next to you, never smoking with the others because you didn’t even though you knew he did it when you weren’t around. He was always supporting you like that and even though neither of you ever said it out loud, you knew he loved you too. It wasn’t his fault that he loved music more and you could never compare to the feeling it gave him but you tried your hardest.

Sometimes you thought it was working, when he’d come over after practice and you’d lay together in your backyard with its overgrown grass. You’d feel it tickling against your bare skin when you laughed at a stupid joke he made and rolled in the other direction clutching your stomach.

Other times you were once again hit with the reminder that he was only temporary, you’d see him zone out listening over and over to tracks he’d been producing or his eyes would go wide with amazement any time you went to a show that wasn’t his.

And you were completely right about him being temporary up until now, watching him sit across from you with that broken expression on his face that made you sick every time you locked eyes with him. You weren’t sure what exactly started his decline, you felt guilt for playing a large part in it but you didn’t think it would be much difference if you had stuck around his life anyways.

Maybe you would’ve begged him to come home when he started going to star filled parties, too many drugs to avoid and too much pressure to fit in to not indulge. Maybe you would’ve called Yoongi and demanded for a hiatus, giving you some time to come see him or bring him back home for a week or two to calm him and his system down.

Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up on the dirty floor of a public bathroom where he was vomiting his guts out just a few minutes ago. You could’ve been back in your long grass or pressed next to him on his dads old couch, still just as young and just as silently inlove with the boy with pretty pink hair and eyes so wide and amazed you couldn’t help but drink them in.

“I would’ve stayed.” He was finally forcing out the words necessary to snap you from your thoughts, the words you’d been considering for the past few years. “If you told me to stay I would have in a second.”

“And then what?” You were retorting quickly but your tone was weak and sad instead of bitter and iced over, shaking your head softly and giving him another sad smile and humorless laugh as you considered the option. “We grow old together with you secretly hating me for ruining your dreams, I live with the guilt of making you do that.”

“I could never hate you. Nothing could ever make me hate you, trust me I’ve tried.” His tone was the opposite of yours, aggressive and nasty as he spat out the words like they burned but you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you necessarily.

You let the two of you fall into an unfamiliar silence, giving him time to collect himself before he accidentally said something he’d eventually end up regretting even more than he already was.

He didn’t say anything either and he seemed to understand what you were doing, sighing out a shuttered breath before he was scooting forward across the floor until his knees were knocking against yours. You glanced up at him and your face fell at the exhausted look on his face, leaning forward similarly until you could wrap your hands around his and squeeze them tightly with your thumbs rubbing over his calloused skin.

Heeseung was sucking in a breath at the feeling of you touching him and then he was breaking into small hiccuped sobs that left you feeling heavy and lost on what you could do to help him.

You were letting yourself sink back into the past when you were moving forward even more so you could pull him closer towards you, his upper half practically in your lap now as you cradled his head and softly pet his damp hair that was dyed black now and messily falling into his eyes.

Your own eyes were falling shut and you were resting yourself on top of him, half hugging each other and half just giving up and letting the weight of his body and yours combine into a mess of limbs and heavy sobs. It was making you feel both better and worse, feeling him so close again but not knowing if it was the last time and also holding the knowledge that you’d missed such a large portion of time with him like this.

It wasn’t possible to get back everything you’d missed, it wasn’t possible to rewind and start over and you weren’t sure there was any way to prevent this amount of hurt anyways.

You could’ve asked him to stay with you all those years ago but then you’d never see that light within him again and you know it would always be on the back of his mind, his fingers and heart always aching for more than what you could give him and you’d stay up countless nights regretting making him give that up for you.

Maybe if you had answered his letters, picked up his relentless calls and heard him out when he didn’t come home. He could’ve had a good reason or maybe just hearing him finally say he loved you would be enough for you to handle the impossible distance.

So many what ifs that you’d never get the answer to because you weren’t there and you’d never get back there again no matter how much your heart still held onto the past and your love together.

Instead you were here and this was where the road with him had led you, cradling each other as the crowd cheered for him outside and it fell on your deaf ears. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go and you weren’t going to make him, you weren’t going to make him choose again and you didn’t know if that would be enough this time but you listened to him cry and prayed it would be.

Heeseung sung out a choir of sobs and gasps into your chest and you knew you would stay with him for as long as he needed you too, until his cries died down or your legs went numb.

Until the cheers fell into silence and the fans went home for the night disappointed, at least holding the knowledge that the music would still be there tomorrow.

You still weren’t positive that he was really here with you and he still felt as fleeting and temporary as he did when you first had met him, wide eyed and stuttered conversations. It was only a small flicker of hope and comfort that your love for him was the most permanent thing you’d ever experienced.

And that small flicker was more than enough for you.

[starrykaulitz]

any era tom headcannons!

hi guys! so since i don't have enough time to write full segments of stuff, ill be posting either head cannons or my fav pictures from now on… so sorry for the hiatus i went on with no notice but enjoy these!!

SFW;

he loves it when you sit on his lap. everywhere you go, public eye or not, he opens his legs inviting you to sit on either his knee or on his thighs. depends if you can get home fast enough from wherever you are.

this man is obsessed with public affection. he seriously does not care about what others think when it comes to his relationship. you'll be walking in a crowd of people and his hand will be smack bang on your ass, gripping it, groping it, you get the point.

he sleeps on the left side, always. and he has these reading glasses that have broken MULTIPLE TIMES because everytime he finishes staring at his phone at 2 am, goes to switch of the bedside light, he forgets to take the glasses off and they end up on the floor. he says 'ill get them in the morning', ends up forgetting they are there and steps on them with his fat ahh feet.

his fav cuddle position is def when he can rest his head on your tits, big or small. he loves laying on your chest whilst wrapping his leg around your lower half.

he always needs to be touching something of yours. its almost a subconscious thing, but he has to have his hand or his leg near yours at all times, especially if your in a situation that could make him nervous.

if you knew him from a younger age, growing up together, he would have 100% picked on you more than anyone else around him. you were a girl, its 'funny', but now that hes older, that man will literally kiss the ground you walk on.

your in the car with him? hes driving? horrible idea. he will not only speed to see your scared reaction, but he was also drive with his knees. he does not stop at orange lights at night either, he is going STRAIGHT THROUGH IT, PUMPING THE GAS.

if you were watching a movie and he got real into it, he'd begin just...grabbing at your boobs. not in a sexual way, in a way of "they are there, might as well grip onto them."

NSFW ;

alright. morning sex. all the time. it'd be strange if you didnt have it. he is constantly up against your back, and he'd love having an s/o whos a bit exciting, so extra points to you if you purpusfully gave him one while he was asleep. but god, he would be sloppy in the morning and it would be amazing.

when he finishes, (he would want to do it inside you if you had been dating for years on end, no protection) he bites at your shoulder. doesnt matter what position, hes biting that shit hard as he finishes.

he LOVES licking. idk why, but he does. if your lying there under him, arms stretched to the side, he will take that chance to lick all the way from your belly button, to your neck, up until he reaches your mouth and then continues to shove said tongue down your throat.

he gets pretty aggressive with head i'd say. he loves you doing it, literally his favorite past time, but he would grip onto your scalp so hard and pound himself into you, (ofc, only if youre in the mood for that.)

mirrors? dont even mention them or else he'll have you infront of one and have you begging for more istg. he loves seeing both himself and your fucked out expression as he hits it from the back.

again, toms said this before, but i rlly dont think tom would like you doing the dirty talking, (ofc unless your out at a public dinner on the other side of the table, you send him a dirty msg or sum), but he prefers to hear you scream and ATTEMPT to talk then have you degrading him or sum.

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[uofcosmos]

jean bf hcs

sfw

- you guys only start dating cause you were friends already, he’s too much of a freak around girls hes not comfortable with

- rlly rlly bad flirt so you have to do most of the work, but tells all his friends that his game got you so bad

- if you tell him about another guy flirting with you he would act super mad and overprotective but he lowkey only does that to play a role (cause he actually trusts you)

- tells his friends that you’re so down bad for him but you guys just started dating and he’s the simp

- super into you wearing his clothes he thinks it’s super cute but acts super nonchalant and complains that you never give them back

- if you actually do he’ll get super pouty

- if you tell him you have a fictional or celeb crush he hates on them with a passion

- he’d be rlly into packing you lunch, with fruits cut into hearts and little nonchalant notes to go along with it

“cause i know your dumbass doesn’t eat properly “

- type of bf to have folder of you, specifically pics of you sleeping

- rlly wants your friends to like him, overplays how funny he is

- also if your friend wants to debrief/gossip with you he wants to be there and is always giving his own input and comments

- loves petnames but in the beginning he looks like he’s choking them out cause of how nervous he is

- loves babe!! also says princess but u make him fun of him for it in the beginning cause he always looks like he’s straining while saying it

- big spoon religiously!!! also likes sleeping with his bodyweight on you

- if he tells a joke in a group his eyes zone in straight to you to analyze how much you’re laughing

- if you find him funny he starts doing too much and it ruins the vibe of the function

- also yk the theory where if someone rlly likes you their feet are pointed towards you

- he will be facing the other way and somehow his feet are still directed right at you

- freak…

- rlly wants you guys to have “a song”

- also gets you guys matching necklaces pretty early on

- if he sees you looking at him he’d start playing with his necklace so you’d get “hot and bothered”

- you can tell but it’s cute so you let it go

- he would use his height against you - would grab things and hold them over your head

- arm constantly on you - around your shoulder or on your head

nsfw under cut!! mdni

- very very soft/service dom

-  your first time you giggle a lot and he’d start getting super flustered and insecure but it would end up very sweet after he stopped acting like he knew what he was doing

- after a few times, he’d start researching sex positions to show what a “freak” he is in bed, but he’s pretty vanilla

- he would never say it, but sex is “love-making” to him

- yk that trend where ppl would hit themselves in the face with a necklace and pretend eren was fucking them?

- jean would be rlly into doing that with his own necklace like it would be possessive thing to him esp cause u guys r matching

- type of guy to say he’s a munch 💀💀

- but also he’s not lying, he’d get too into it and you’d have to ask him to stop so you can finally fuck

- wants to see your face at all time, tried back shots once but got rlly sad ab it

- basically does whatever you want while having sex

- SUPERRR into you edging him

- he’d also rlly be into you wearing lingerie and putting on a show taking it off

- always tell you to “make some noise for him” bcs he’s also pretty loud and he doesn’t want to be the only one

- also just into it

- likes finishing on your tits, extremely simple-minded

- no matter how good you are at giving head, he’d always finish so so so into it

- he’d LOVEEE high sex esp after you guys share a joint in one of your rooms….. says that it “heightens all his senses” but he’s actually sloppy

- everything gets very WET

- kisses you every 5 seconds bcs he loves you so much

- aftercare consists of him peppering your face with kisses, wiping you guys down and knocking tf out

[to-thelakes]

Luke coming home one day (after moving in together) and finding reader in bed with a mountain of pillows in his spot so they won't feel lonely when he's gone (Roxy is there too somewhere)

pillow pal

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; luke comes home to you snuggled up to his pillows.

warnings; pure fluff, luke draws a gun bc he is worried but no danger, just pure fluff

notes; just a short little fluffy piece of luke coming home and finding reader asleep in bed. it's so cute, he's so cute, AHHHH

masterlist

It had been a long day and Luke could feel the exhaustion in his bones. He was used to being tired, he was used to being forced to be alert at all times but it was exhausting. So, when he returned home, all he wanted to do was crawl into your arms. When he was wrapped up with you, his mind finally slowed down and he was able to stop being so alert. He could just focus on you, in the present and that’s all his mind was craving.

When he walked into the house, it was quiet. The two of you had moved in together a few weeks ago and so, he had become used to the sounds of you cooking or baking or singing or just simply existing in the space. But it was quiet. His body - still on red alert - went straight to the worst case scenario especially when Roxy didn’t appear. He grabbed his gun from its holster and lifted it up, walking through the house.

He cleared every room but nothing looked out of place. At least not downstairs. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign and so, he headed upstairs. He took the stairs slowly, avoiding the steps that he knew would creak underneath his heavy feet. 

Once he was on the landing, he headed slowly towards the bedroom. He nudged the door open and in the mid-afternoon sun he saw you. You were curled up in your shared bed, your arms wrapped around the pile of pillows that you seemed to be using as a substitute for him. His heart melted and he slipped his gun back into its holster.

You were safe. You were fine. You were just tired. He didn’t blame you.

Roxy was lying on the end of the bed, snuggled up to your feet as the two of you slept contently. But when Luke closed the bedroom door, Roxy’s head shifted up. Her eyes blinked open and Luke smiled softly as he walked over to give her pets and scritches behind the ear.

“Hello, my sweet girl,” He mumbled as he scritched under her chin. Roxy was constantly pushing her head back into Luke’s hands, desperate for any sort of attention from him and when Luke drew his hands away so he could get changed, Roxy stood up.

She jumped off the bed and trotted up to Luke who couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips. He knelt down and while he gave her the proper attention she deserved, you woke up. Your eyes blinked open, barely remembering what century it was, let alone what was going on. Your head turned from side-to-side. The sun was still up but where was Roxy?  The familiar warmth was gone and in your daze, you looked to the end of the bed to see Luke knelt there, stroking her. 

You let out an involuntary gasp of excitement before you sleepily yet quickly clambered off the bed and threw yourself at Luke. He managed to stand up just in time to wrap you up in his arms and Roxy barked excitedly. You chuckled, nuzzling your face into his neck.

“You’re home. I missed you,” You mumbled against his skin as you held him tighter. Your arms wrapped around him so tightly that if it was anyone else, it would have been painful.

“I missed you too,” He muttered. You didn’t want to let him go but when Roxy was still barking and jumping up at the two of you, you pulled back and grinned down at her.

“Your daddy’s home, isn’t he? Are you happy? I’m very happy,” You said to her as you knelt and she pushed her face into your body, wanting attention too. You chuckled and hugged her, stroking her fur as you looked up at Luke. His shoulders had been rigid but they were relaxed now and an easy smile made its way across his face.

“Back with my best girls,” He mumbled. You grinned and nodded.

<3

[iovesia]

MILLION DOLLAR MAN.

keanu mlist.⠀ 𑇓 ⊹ ᳝ ࣪ ⠀toxic!kevin lomax⠀𝑥⠀f!reader.

synopsis: yandere alphabet with kevin lomax.

contents. canon-divergent/milton wins ending?. toxic and abusive relationship. infidelity. emotional abuse. coercion. dubcon. forced marriage. brief smut. 2.3k words.

⋆ 𓂃 ﾟ .⠀josie's little note. here's a short little thing to get me back into writing long fics lollzzz, enjoy :3 template from @/dear-yandere.

𝓐 — ffection: how do they show their love and affection? how intense would it be?

Kevin's a love bomber from the start. Since he's moved to New York —and assuming in this AU, he's embraced the benefits of being the Devil's son— he has tons of cash to blow on beautiful women like yourself. There's always a bouquet of roses on your desk at work, or large gifts of jewelry or expensive dresses on your apartment doorstep. He's a charming rich lawyer, willing to buy anything your little heart desires— it's almost impossible to say no when he grins and asks you on a date to the Four Seasons.

𝓑 — lood: how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Kevin doesn't like a mess, but he's not against getting his hands dirty. With all the connections he has, and the literal Devil on his shoulder, he has the means to get rid of anyone he deems a problem. Some guy at work hitting on you? Next day he's packing his desk. Your mailman gives you a smile? Fired for poor performance. Your male neighbour who helps you carry groceries? He unfortunately tripped and broke his neck down some stairs..

Like an omen of death, once they meet Kevin, they're gone the next day. And he plays the role of ever so caring shoulder to cry on, to a T.

𝓒 — ruelty: how do they treat their darling once abducted? would they mock their darling?

Kevin wouldn't necessarily abduct you, but you can believe that after months or even weeks of love-bombing and obsessively keeping track of you— he'll propose. A normal person would think he's batshit crazy— but the allure of a powerful, rich man who "only has eyes for you" is enough to make you melt. His version of abduction is to just pressure you enough to marry him— a sign of love in your eyes and a sign of ownership in his. You're legally, emotionally, and in all other ways officially his.

As for how he treats you: Kevin's the type of man to follow you around while arguing, constantly talking over you in that condescending manner. He's a lawyer. Can't help it. You can expect a lot of typical mansplaining behavior or just straight of gaslighting. He mocks you just to see you get all riled up. Sometimes you think he sees you more as an irritated little pup, than a grown woman.

𝓓 — arling: aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Kevin's not afraid of coercing you into doing things for him. At this point in your relationship, he's relaxed his mask of charm and instead is letting the devil seep through the cracks. Whether it's sex or something else, he either coaxes you into it, or just pulls a blackmail card.

On a good day, he's gently rubbing his hands on your sides or kissing the back of your shoulder. "C'mon, baby.." he whispers softly, his warm breath on your ear. "Missed my pretty girl so much today.. just lay back, hm?"

On a bad night, you're met with guilt trips and cruel words. "I pay for every goddamn thing in this house— if you're not gonna put out— I'll find someone else who'd appreciate the gifts and the lifestyle, got it?"

He's so hot and cold: one minute he's evilly pressuring you into sex, and threatens to cheat— the next he's moaning softly in your ear about how warm and soft you feel, and how nobody else makes him this way.

"You drive me crazy, honey." "You know I love you."

𝓔 — xposed: how much of their heart do they bear to their darling? how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Kevin’s a damn liar. That’s the worst thing about him. Not the coercion, or the love-bombing, or the constant arguing— it’s the lying that’s the worst. You never really know if he’s telling you the truth or just lying to your face again. His vulnerability is either an act or confession and eventually you stopped telling the difference. 

“You’re my favourite girl,” Kevin often tells you. You are his favourite. You’re just not his only.

𝓕 — ight: how would they feel if their darling fought back?

Again, Kevin sees you as a pissed off little puppy. Trying to win an argument? In your dreams! Kevin's the type to mock your voice in a high pitched tone, or roll his eyes at every word.

Gaslight. Gaslight. Gaslight.

He wouldn't take too kindly to your empty threats of divorce or leaving him, because he knows you won't. Regardless of if you still love him or not, you love the lifestyle he brings you— and he knows it.

"You set a foot out the door and you won't see a goddamn dime," Kevin's cold tone makes you freeze, his grip on your forearms now painfully tight.

𝓖 — ame: is this a game to them? how much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Kevin would love to see you try. You know Kevin would never let the divorce go through— or he'd make it such a hellish process, you might as well not even try. You hope that maybe spousal abandonment would be enough to be forced to break your bond.

You think you're being sneaky, and this is the one time Kevin allows you slip out from under him; when you steal his car and drive out of New York like you're on fire. Of course you're too distressed to realise that he'll just be able to track his car back down and find you.

He lets you have your two or three days of freedom, thinking you've finally gotten away. Until your motel room is raided down by police officers and you're brought back home.

You glare daggers into Kevin as he plays "concerned-husband" and makes you appear crazy to the cops.

𝓗 — ell: what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When you first caught him cheating.

It was the typical routine: secret phone calls, paying for motel rooms, getting more jealous over you (projecting). The signs were all there and it absolutely devastated you. You didn't even realise this was just at the beginning.

Of course Kevin was screwing his co-worker: the seductive, headstrong lawyeress with a body like Mariah and a face like Diaz.

The fight that ensued after you caught him was utter hell. You screamed and cried and threw things around— all while Kevin merely shot down your words.

"You made your bed," You wail, as you try to storm past him.

"And I'm begging you to lay with me in it," Kevin blocks your path.

His fake puppy eyes, and guilty face work wonders on your distressed psyche. Your slaps on his chest turn to gripping his shirt, and your vulgar language filled with sadness and heartbreak,

It was so easy. Too easy.

And this was just the beginning of a cycle.

𝓘 — deals: what kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Kevin wants the picture perfect life: rich husband, beautiful wife, beautiful kids, beautiful home. And he wants it with you. Sure he may screw around with the occasional intern and random whore— but that's all they are: a good squeeze. They're not you: his beautiful wife, and his most prized possession.

Kevin wants the nuclear family with you: to see you swollen with a cute little bump, and a baby on your hip. You're his beautiful, dolled up housewife: that's what he wants, and he'll settle for no less.

𝓙 — ealousy: do they get jealous? do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Of course this little hypocrite gets big time jealous. He knows you're stunning, if anything he shows it off. Like a trophy: they can look, they can envy, they can wish for, but they cannot touch you.

When Kevin's jealous, he tends to be in a pissy mood for the rest of the day. He's sort of just quiet and moody, like a bitchy teenager. That's when you find himself buying you a whole bucket load of dresses and clothes in his favorite colors and styles.

He gives you a beautiful "K" necklace to wear, and that brings him some reassurance.

𝓜 — ask: are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

100%. He is so suave and has so much charisma, that has the women swooning and the men in envy. Kevin's the guy everyone wants to be or be with. So it's safe to say, any of your allegations are carelessly discarded.

No way, Kevin Lomax, the senior partner and top lawyer of New York could be a cheating, emotionally abusive bastard you paint him to be.. maybe you're just being dramatic.

𝓝 — aughty: how would they punish their darling? + 𝓞 — ppression: how many rights would they take away from their darling?

Kevin would cut off your connections to your family and friends. Naughty girls don't get to go out with their loved ones, do they? He wants to make sure you realise how dependent you are on him— that he'll make you go crazy with isolation before you finally beg him for attention— something to stop your sanity from snapping.

He'll also take away your financial resources. Of course the rich culture is that the husband works, while the wife plays. There'll be no more playing for you, until you learn to behave. He cuts off your credit cards and source of income. You want something? New dress? New shoes? Beg him nicely, on your knees.

He punishes you in the most degrading ways. Spanking you, fucking your face, or edging you till you're a sobbing mess and begging for his forgiveness. Until your skin is covered in handprints and his cum, he won't think you're sorry.

𝓠 — uit: if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He'd never truly move on if you somehow slip through his fingers. Whether Milton manages to push you to suicide or you manage to run away for good: he would be devastated.

Sure, he'd get re-married in the next year for the sake of his image: but Kevin's never going to love another woman the way he loved you. He's an evil bastard, he knows.. but that doesn't change his feelings for you.

First thing the tabloids will notice is how eerily similar his new wife looks to you. The same hair, the same clothes, even the same perfume he liked you wearing. He'll pretend he's over you.

He doesn't need you.

He'll move on.

He doesn't want you, is what he thinks as he pounds into a cheap hooker, his eyes shut, pretending it's you creaming around his cock.

𝓡 — egret: would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? would they ever let their darling go?

Kevin's felt guilty once. When you first got pregnant. At the time your marriage was on the brink of survival, and he's just cheated and been caught for the millionth time— so seeing you sitting in the bathroom, quietly crying to yourself over a pregnancy test, tugs at his heartstrings. You're officially trapped with him forever.

Seeing you so upset and devastated over what should be the happiest moment of your lives makes him feel shame for once.

He wants you to be happy.. he does.

But he's just too selfish for that.

𝓢 — tigma: what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

He has always been very entitled. Working in the courtroom and having 64 straight convictions really boosted his ego to the roof. He believes he's owed you. He's a winner, and you're his prize.

Doesn't help that he has Milton Satan constantly in his ear, pushing him to straight debauchery. You can thank Kevin's father for his son's constant persistence.

𝓣 — ears: how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Funnily enough, Kevin doesn't really enjoy seeing you cry. He's not one for dacryphilia, and if anything it's a turn off. Sure he loves seeing you scream and be pissed at him, he loves a fiesty parter. But seeing you sob and whimper, your big pretty eyes all wet and full of tears just makes him deflate.

He doesn't want you to isolate yourself. Be pissed. Be angry. Be mean. But take it out on him— it gets him rock hard.

𝓥 — ice: what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Like the previous letter, I think Kevin seeing you cry would be somewhat of a weakness. It won't make him fold every single time, but trust that it can at a good time.

That's the only time you'll hold power over him: not when you're threatening to leave, or call the cops or berating him. But when you're like a wounded kitten— sad and detached from him. He hates it.

"Oh honey, don't break my big ol' heart like this," he coaxes you out from under the blanket, his hand gently stroking your head. "Let me see that pretty smile.. please?"

𝓦 — it's end: would they ever hurt their darling?

No, not physically. Kevin's gonna pull that "real men don't hit their women" card. Sure.. he's a cheating, lying, selfish, manipulative prick— but he won't put his hands on you.

He's already hurting you with the lying and the emotional blackmail, and that's enough.

𝓧 — oanon: how much would they revere or worship their darling? to what length would they go to win their darling over?

He goes to any length to fulfill your materialistic desires. He'll take you to all the best parties, the best restaurants, the best stores— anything for his pretty little thing. Happy wife, happy life, right?

𝓨 — oanon: how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Kevin hardly considers pining over anyone. One wink and drink usually does the trick. But he's so intrigued by you— whether you're just painfully shy and embarrassed or playing hard to get— you've certainly caught his eye.

He pines over you for a few months, at most a year, before he's practically losing patience with you. But trust he won't let two years go by unless it's with his ring on your finger.

𝓩 — enith: would they break their darling?

No. Shockingly, Kevin doesn't want to break you. He doesn't want you to become a shell of yourself. He loves your fire, your tears, your sadness— everything that makes you, you. If he wanted a mindless bimbo, he'd hire another escort.

He loves you, deep down in his black, devilish heart— and he wouldn't change a thing about you. Don't worry your pretty little head about that.

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© 𝐈𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐀, 2024. do not copy, repost or translate my works.

[silentghosttimez]

Since everyone's reading comprehension clearly just went out the window when the person in the Epstein documents asked about Michael Jackson. The girl literally said nothing happened. And to go into more detail, this was before anything about Epstein came to light and when Epstein was still fronting as one of those financial businessmen. MJ was LITERALLY THOROUGHLY investigated and HEAVILY survellienced by the government/FBI for over 2 decades BEFORE and AFTER meeting Epstein, the FBI REALLY wanted MJ gone from the public eye, they even tried to use his childhood photos and some playboy magazines to prove he was guilty. In the 2000s MJ was in conflict with Sony and was going broke, some people(we dont know who they were yet) recommended he go to Epstein to solve financial issues. MJ dipped out and Epstein never got his number, his name literally was not in that black book. Y'all keep bringing up those false accusations with the boys when if you actually look up anything on it, the boys came forward and said their parents lied, and the bed thing was false because MJ's room was huge and had two beds, he had the PARENTS AND THEIR KIDS sleeping in the beds in his room while HE slept in his own GUEST ROOM.

Stop making shit up when the people who wanted so badly for him to do something criminal literally couldn't find anything at all in all those years that he was looked at so closely to the point he was literally having mental breakdowns from being watched every where he went, during every call, and so on.

(edit: To add to this, people constantly lie about his skin and how he felt about himself and his body too. When for one, his autopsy was right there and literally says he suffered from lupus and Vitilogo and his hair was literally the way it was due to it being set on fire in that one Pepsi commercial, there are literally graphic images of just how badly his scalp had been damaged. He never hated himself or his blackness, infact he actively tried to hide his white splotches for as long as he could. He used makeup and skincare stuff that he was unaware had any bleaching affects in the ingredients. He was very open and loud about being proud of his African heritage, he even was crowned in an African village.

I made this post cause I started tweaking because the singular black breadtuber I was watching was reading the Epstein documents and when he got to Michael being mentioned he and everyone in chat suddenly became illiterate and he was talking some shit like "it would seem he really was that guy if those documentaries, court stuff and articles didn't already convince you" like WHAT??? And chat was agreeing and someone was like "the Twitter stans are still gonna find a way to defend him after this" mind you, if you weren't bread dead and believed all that slander, all the court stuff declared and pretty much proved his innocence and later one people including his own friends and family came forward saying they were forced and coerced into lying. Those documentaries that came out and so many of those articles were straight up slanderous because they were damn tabloids, I don't get why people are still trying to use tabloids as proof when they were known for spreading rumors that often were not true in the slightest. This shit actually has me genuinely heated. Like, the breadtuber didn't bother reading the rest and was just like "well that proves it" even though it was stated right below that Epstein did not have his contact. Then there's the dumbasses on Twitter too making this shit worse. You'd think that most people at some point would bother to actually use their brains and seek out as much info as possible instead of taking lies and running with it, especially if they have a platform where they literally should be doing such a thing but nope. The guy was iffy about the star wars guy and whether or not he was actually a contact in Epstein's list but that same grace was not afforded to MJ.

Another edit:Oh and also it's wild MJ's false accusations are always brought and people say Elvis and Prince are better than him meanwhile Elvis and Prince were known pedos and abusers. Like are you fucking kidding me!!!)