#girl lemme post damn i have like 50 minutes

[dilfhos]

#!WHO; SUKUNA. GOJO. TOJI.

#!CC; fem!reader, spitting, dubcon? (you struggle to swallow it. girl same.) degradation

+this is so lazy but i needed to just write something new. now i can get back to the canva assignment thats been staring at me for like 2 hrs. edit l8er

for someone who recoils at the sight of puckering lips and the white, slimy substance that follows, you sure like it an awful lot when fingers are digging into cheeks and the disgusting sentence is uttered;

“open your mouth.”

Sukuna only rolls his tongue out, letting the spit gather on it’s surface like a dog as he drools into your mouth. his lips are upcurved, a wicked grin on his face as he watches your tongue twitch when it falls. the demon’s spit mixes with your own and your tongue pulsates as you struggle to swallow. you shudder but your cunt tightens wonderfully around his fat cock like a vice. His hand comes down to tap against your clit, before rubbing circles, his pace brutal.

“what a disgusting little whore I have, hm?”

as Gojo’s thrusting into you with finesse, his dazzling features are your sole focus if not the girth stretching your greedy pussy. his thumb flicks against your sensitive clit, hip bones snapping against your ass as you’re fisting his sheets. his eyes then shimmers with something devious. eyes flickering down at his lips, you watch as he opens his mouth, a small gather of foamy wetness at the tip.

“Ah?” you obliged instinctively, compelled by his coo and precise stroke and whimpering as he gripped your chin gently. the sound of his ptoo hits your ears the same as his taste spreads on your tongue. you moan, gazing deeply into his eyes before he’s kissing you, strokes deepening with a a groan.

“…”

Toji doesn’t ask. he just kisses you, his grip firm, not tight, on your jaw. your eyes are shut and he thinks it’s precious until he’s thrusting saliva in your mouth, his tongue lashing against yours as it mixes. his grip tightens when your eyes snap open, brows furrowing in small panic as you instinctively tense. but when you’re suddenly moaning and practically sucking his digits into your sopping cunt like that, it makes him wanna do it again. toji’s thick fingers keep a steady pace thrusting into your drooling hole but he’s added his thumb to your sensitive clit, a lazy but necessary attempt at making you melt in his lap. when he pulls away, he licks the drool on his lips as your twitch in his grasp.

“You look so fuckin’ pretty, all messy-like,”

dilfos. do not reupload or plagiarize my content—current or archival.

[chocolatepancakes]

Mixer.

I’m just thinkin bout it, I’m not gonna do it.

I did it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Selever x Fem Reader

CENSORED CUSSING. Time taken: Idek all I know is i don’t sleep anymore

friending

There’s two endings. This post shows up until the turning point.

romanting

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/N) laid on her couch staring up at the ceiling. It was the middle of July and she was hot, bored, and sweaty. She sat up and reached for the remote, just to be caught off guard by a text notification. Selever. She opened the app.

[Selever] Hey Roachy!

[Selever] my friends and I are going to the mixer

[Selever] come with to even out the numbers

(Y/N) looked at her screen. A mixer huh? Cool beans. It's not like she had anything to do over the summer. She typed quickly as she replied.

[Y/N] cool lemme in

[Selever] lmao you're actually gonna come?

[Selever] okay, well, meet at 401 Dragon Rock Ave.

[Y/N] there's a bar there??

[Selever] lol who said we're going to a bar

[Selever] we gon be going to kareoke b####

[Y/N] OK

[Y/N] what time

[Selever] idk, around 8.

[Y/N] K see ya

[Selever] ciao

(Y/N) looked at the clock. 6pm. She had about two hours to get ready. She set a 50 minute timer and turned on the TV. She had time to burn.

So the time came. (Y/N) ran out her house with her purse in hand. She slid into her car and started it up. Streetlights passed as she turned left and right. A call rang. She picked it up. "Hello, who is it?" She asked.

"Hello, I called to talk about your car's extended warranty," Selever replied. Snickering could be heard. (Y/N) laughed. Why did he always start a call like that?

"Hi Sel," she said.

"Where you at right now?"

"I'm only like, a hundred meters from the place."

"Ha, sure you are."

"Oh hey! I see you! Okay, imma hang up!" She closed off the call and pulled her car into a parking slot. Selever stood waiting for her. He was wearing something pretty different from his normal attire. He had a magenta dress shirt on, and a black suit vest over it. A complimentary black tie and dark dress pants completed his look.

"Woah I didn't think you'd actually come," Selever smirked. "Getting desperate?" He asked.

"Ha, no. Just doing my job as the number-even-outter." (Y/N) replied, getting out of her car.

"Really? Cause you seem pretty dressed up for someone who's just evening out the numbers." He was right. (Y/N) had dressed up a bit for this occasion. She wore a blue one piece with a flower on the head of its belt. She wore a white cardigan, and two strands of her (H/C) hair, tied in braids, met at the back of her head. She wore knee high socks, and Mary Janes completed the outfit.

"Yes really, now let's go in! I wanna destroy everyone's eardrums!" (Y/N) grabbed his hand and entered the building. This one seemed to be slightly different from other bars. Like a Japanese kareoke place? There was a reception area, and you'd go into a room to sing. They ran past the reception and straight to the room at the end of the hall.

Selever opened up the door. "THE LAST LADY'S HERE!" He yelled. In the room were two other guys, and two other girls. Starting with the girls, there was one with blue hair, which was tied back in her pony tail. She had pink eyes and wore a grey turtleneck with a long skirt. The other girl had black hair, which covered her left eye. Red eyes. She wore a beanie, as well as a black shirt. She wore jeans, giving off a relaxed vibe. As for the two guys, a grey cat was among them. His hair? Fur? Was tied back in a ponytail. He wore a yellow hoodie over a suit, she assumed. He wore black pants and wore brown sneakers. Last one was a skull of... a goat? Moose? A demon? He wore a white dress shirt, and brown dress pants. His body and limbs seemed to be invisible, as his head and hand floated in the air.

(Y/N) cautiously entered the room. "Hello.... I'm (Y/N)." The girl with blue hair waved.

"Hi!! I'm Sky!" She held some cards in her hand. "Wanna play Uno with us?"

"Sure," (Y/N) said, sitting down. Selever also sat at the boys' side. A round passed. Then two. Then an an hour, as they ate and sang.

"Kay! Uhhh (Y/N!) It's your turn!" The cat man said, taking the input pad and handing it over to her.

"Sorry Kapi, I'm not too good at singing," she denied.

"You sure? You haven't sang all hour."

"Mmm maybe one song." She took the pad and

scrolled through the songs. Bingo. She entered the code as a upbeat tune started playing. She held up the mic, slightly embarrassed she was singing this. Selever gave her a thumbs up and smiled. She took a breath and sang. The others watched her as she hit every note. When the song finished, she put down the mic and quickly returned to her seat. They clapped for a moment or two. "Woah. You're pretty good (Y/N)!" Sky said. "I'm really not," (Y/N) said. "Oh for f###'s sake, just accept it," Selever rebutted. "You're good and you know it." Kapi stretched. "Okay, I think we're all warmed up." Warmed up?! That was warming up?! For what?! (Y/N) confusedly looked around the room. "Tabi, where'd you put the spinner?" Kapi asked. "It should be with the chips." Seriously what were they bouta do?! Kapi took out a spinner. On each slice was each of their names. Tabi, Annie, Kapi, Sky, Selever, (Y/N), all of them. Kapi flicked the arrow. Landed on his name. "I GO FIRST!" He said, grabbing his phone. He fiddling with it, he got something to play on the screen. His own song. He took a deep breath and started to sing. Annie cheered him on. (Y/N) looked in shock. He was singing his own song. This probably means the others have their own too. Goddammit, no! She prayed for the wheel to never land on her, she didn't have one yet! Kapi's song finished, and the screen read, "Beathoven.mp4 - unknown". "Oh yeah! That felt great! Okay, who's next?" He spun the wheel again. "Uh... Annie! Ya gonna go?" Annie took out her phone. "Hell yeah I am." She took a swig of her drink and got up. After fiddling with her phone, a new song started playing. She bopped her head a few times, until she also started to sing. (Y/N) leaned over to Selever. "You know I don't have a song! What do I do?!" She whispered. Selever leaned back. "It's fine. I can cover you if it lands anyway. Just get one of your weeb songs to play if I can't." As Annie's song finished, she spun the wheel. Sky Same routine. She got up, fiddled around, and sang. (Y/N) paid no attention to it. She was only thinking about what would happen when her turn came. What does he mean he can cover her?! What does he mean play a weeb song?! Did he mean vocaloid? Before she knew it, Sky's turn was over. Kapi spun the spinner. Oh god damn it. "(Y/N)! It's your turn!" He slid the pad to her. She looked at it in fear. "Um- a-" she was cut off. Selever picked up the pad. "M'kay. I'm bored. My turn motherfruskas!" Nobody stopped him. Just sighed and shook their heads. He tapped his phone. A steady beat came out of the speakers. Selever smirked at (Y/N) as he began to sing. It was upbeat. Pretty steady, until 30 seconds in. A sudden tempo change. His song was upbeat. And somewhat fast. As the song finished he put the mic back down on the table. "You had a song?? Wh- why is it so chaotic?! HOW'D YOU EVEN HIT THAT?!" Sky questioned as she, and the others clapped. Selever leaned back with his hands behind his head. "It's was made to fit me, and me specifically. Of course it's chaotic." Kapi put away the wheel. "Okay, since there's only Tabi and (Y/N) left now, I'm gonna flip a coin. Tabs, heads or tails?" He flipped it into the air. "Tails." Tabi replied. Kapi caught, and shielded the coin from view. (Y/N) prayed it was tails. He revealed the coin to be... "Tails! 'Kay Tabi, you're up!" He handed the pad to the floating skull, as a new song started to play. (Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. At least now she could think of which song to sing herself. I mean, Aishite was pretty good, but dark. PoPiPo sounded too idiotic. She could sing partners in crime.... if she had a partner. "So, be honest (Y/N)," Annie said, still keeping her eyes on Tabi. "You don't have a song, do you?" (Y/N) jumped. "I uh..." "It's fine. I didn't really expect someone like you to have one anyway." Someone like me? The hell does that mean?! (Y/N)'s pettiness rose up. She still didn't have a song, but she sure as hell knew which one she wanted to sing. Just as Tabi's song finished,

she snatched the pad and connected her phone. She looked up at the screen. Beeps played as she stood up, grabbed the mic, and waited for the first notes to come. She took a deep breath, turned to look at everyone and sang. "EVERSINCEIWASBORNFROMTHATDAYIHADKNOWNTHATIAMNOTHINGMORETHANASIMULATIONBUTI'LLKEEPLIVINGUNTILLDESTROYED, LIVINGFOREVERYESIAMAVOCALOID. IFFOREXAMPLESINGINGWASJUSTATOYTHATWOULDSINGBACKTHETUNESYOUGAVETOTHEMIDTHINKTHATWASALRIGHT, WHILEILOOKATTHESKY, BITETHISLEEK, WATCHTHESOUPPOURINGFROMMYEYES. BUTEVENSOI'LLDISAPPEARTHATIKNOWAPERSONALITYCHANGINGWITHEACHSONG, EVERYTHINGIWASBUILTONWASN'TSOSTRONG, ALLOFTHEPLACESIKNEWAREALREADYGONE, EVERYONETHATIKNEW, THEYDON'TREMEMBERME. HEARTORSOULIHAVENOTHINGLEFTINSIDEOFMEICANSEETHECENTEROFTHEVOID, YES I AM A VOCALOID!" She huffed as the intro stopped. The others looked at her wide eyed. She smiled. She may have regained a bit of confidence. As the vocals continued, she did too. Hitting every note perfectly as the song went on. At the end, she set down her mic. Selever clapped for her, and the others joined him. Tabi looked at the clock. Holy crap. 2 am. "Okay, I have to go, I have work," he said, getting up. "Actually, we should probably all go now. The time's almost up anyway," Sky pointed out. (Y/N) picked up her purse. They were right. She didn't have anything to do over the summer, but it was getting late. They all walked out to the parking lot, and said their goodbyes. Only Selever and (Y/N) was left now. "So, got anyone you put your eyes on?" Selever asked. (Y/N) sighed. "They were nice, but not really my type, ya know? Would go drink with tho 100%." She smiled. "Besides, I don't think any of the guys really liked me."

[killian-whump]

I'm not the troll anon, but I REALLY want to see your bulleted list of why you hate babies on tv shows... To see how many points we might have in common.

WELCOME TO MY TED TALK!!!!

Sorry, I’m a little excited, Nonny. I’ve been waiting all day to tell everybody why I friggin’ hate fictional babies so I’m just, wow, I’m just really happy you’re here and asking me why I hate those little fuckers.

Alright now, before we get into the bulleted list and everything, lemme first say that there are simply too many babies in the world. They’re everywhere. On TV. In the real world. In @gusenitsaa‘s tummy. In the next room. Wait a fucking minute - WHO THE FUCK LEFT A BABY IN MY GODDAMN HOUSE?!

Okay, really, I just wanted to post that GIF, because I love it, but it really is true. There are way too many babies in the world, and on TV - and especially in Once Upon a Time. I mean, ONE baby is bad enough, but OUAT threw, like, 15 babies at us and none of them ever fucking grew up.

And babies make absolutely TERRIBLE characters. Look out, my friend, because here comes the bulleted list of why they’re fucking awful:

They have no character traits. Hey, tiny human, what’re you about? What do you like? What do you hate? What are your motivations in this scene? Oh, that’s right. You have literally none of these things, because you don’t have a personality that can be defined for an audience yet.

They all look the same. At least toddlers (like Ashley’s kid in 6x03) can wear cute outfits and, you know, have identifying characteristics to differentiate one of them from the next. Babies don’t. They’re either a lump in a pink blanket or a lump in a blue blanket, because babies fucking suck.

They can’t do anything. They are literally a lump, as mentioned above. How do you know who’s the baby in a scene? THEY’RE THE ONE NOT CARRYING THEIR OWN WEIGHT. Literally. They have to be carried everywhere, like a fucking handbag that wails periodically. You can’t give them any lines, and unlike Colin, they can’t close out a scene with a meaningful look.

No one ever uses them properly. If I had a nickel for every time there was a scene where a baby could’ve been used as a projectile weapon and wasn’t... I’d be fucking rich. I mean, that monster chasing you will AT LEAST pause for a hot minute if you throw a fucking baby in his ugly ass face. I promise.

They limit the plotlines for the ‘parents’. Once a couple has a baby, they suddenly can’t go anywhere or do anything on the show without either lugging the baby along or making a throwaway line somewhere about a babysitter. If the ‘parents’ spend too much time off adventuring sans baby, the audience feels like they’re not bothering to raise their kid. If the kid comes along on too many adventures, the audience is left wondering why they brought their 6-month-old adventuring in hell.

They’re used as a shortcut. Wanna show a couple is “true love”? Give ‘em a baby. Wanna show their “happily ever after”? Give ‘em a baby. Wanna create unnecessary drama for no goddamn reason? Give ‘em a baby. Considering how useless these babies are in every possible way (see this entire list), there’s literally no GOOD reason to throw a baby in the mix, other than as a shortcut to drama or emotion that the writers are too damn lazy to actually write.

They’re useless in fandom. Fanfics now have the same issue the show has - what do you do with the damn baby now? Fanartists have less of a problem, since they capture moments instead of plots, but if you’re an artist and you’re not into drawing babies, I hope you’re ready to field a bunch of requests and accusations that you “hate” the bastards. And shipping? No way! Babies aren’t welcome on ANY Bang Trains - unless they happen to be Gideon Gold, who was literally bangable before he was even born. That one’s complicated.

Babies sometimes smell bad. I know, I know. We don’t have smell-o-vision, so I can’t really complain about this, but whenever I see a real baby in a scene, I’m always thinking “please don’t shit right now, please don’t shit right now” because let me tell you, a diaper is nowhere near a solid enough barrier to ever have between yourself and the kind of volcano-like eruptions that can come out of a baby’s bottom. “Do you wanna hold the baby?” No, I don’t wanna fucking play Russian Roulette with that tiny human’s unpredictable anus.

They’re teeny tiny con-artists. That baby ain’t that woman’s baby. Hell, that baby ain’t even that baby! The Olsen twins pretended to be a single baby named Michelle for, like, 50 years or something. Boys pretend they’re girls. 10-month-olds pretend they’re newborns. There’s no one regulating this shit. These fuckers just get away with claiming to be whoever or whatever they want. And let me tell you the worst part...

They’re not even fucking alive. More often than not, they’re fucking dolls. And before you think, “But dolls are cute!” let me tell you, dolls are not always cute. Steve Pearlman posted a picture from the set of Baby Neal in his crib and it was awful. I can’t find it right now, because Satan obviously came and took it back to whatever hell it came from, but I assure you it was the worst thing ever.

And this brings me to my final point: They’re embarrassing. Actors do a lot of silly things, like riding on giant green pickles and biting enormous green donuts... but holding dolls and looking at them adoringly will always be one of THE stupidest things actors get tasked with doing. Like, I can’t see an actor or actress holding (what is more often than not) an obvious doll and take them seriously. I mean, when the fact it’s a doll is hidden well, it can create a touching image... but when it’s obvious? Oh, shit. Second hand cringe. I can’t enjoy it. I feel bad for the actors, honestly, especially when the doll looks like a $5 Walgreens special instead of, like, an ultra-realistic ReBorn doll. Now, I love Colin like it’s my sole purpose in life, but this is some bad fake baby shit here:

But don’t get me wrong. Not ALL babies are bad. Just, you know, almost all of them. Flashback babies can be okay. They’re like, “Hello, I’m here and- Oh, nevermind, I’m now all grown and you never even had time to think about me pooping.” And they’re great for touching family moments, as long as the cast/crew bother to hide the fakeness long enough for a nice screencap. As I’ve said before, I DO love the closing shot of CS and Baby Hope:

And I loved the scene of Hook singing to Baby Alice:

And yeah, I admit that Colin’s presence is the main reason I like both of those moments. Being Hook’s baby makes one of these tiny human creatures somewhat interesting in my opinion... but only somewhat. It’s still a baby, and that still makes it absolutely dreadful in a general sense ;)

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk!!!

[a-mess-of-a-princess]

Hi, sorry I'm on my phone so /format/ and that's why it isn't under the cut. Also RUDE BOTH OF YOU I'M OFFENDED @tragichime @deadpan-sexual 1. Are looks important in a relationship? Yes and no. You need to be attracted to the other person but they shouldn't be the defining factor. 2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes, no matter how they end you will learn something. 3. Are you a virgin? No 4. Are you in a relationship? I'll say yes, but it's complicated 5. Are you in love? Hmm, lemme think about it 6. Are you single this year? No 7. Can you commit to one person? Yes 8. Describe your crush Cute, funny, adorable, sweet, caring, smart, a huge nerd and so so much more 9. Describe your perfect mate Someone I can talk to knowing I won't be judged, someone willing to call me out on my bs without fear, somone who is willing to hold me when I can't do it on my own but won't make me ask them to do it 10. Do you believe in love at first sight? No 11. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe 12. Do you forgive betrayal? Depends on what it is 13. Do you get jealous easily? Eh, maybe 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Technically 15. Do you have any piercings? Not anymore 16. Do you have any tattoos? One, but I won't more 17. Do you like kissing in public? Small kisses, no making out 20. Do you shower every day? Yup, but I don't wash my hair 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? God I'd hope so 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probs not 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Fucking hell yes 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Fuck if I know 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I mean... yeah? 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes, but it was in a manipulative way 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Nope 28. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? My boobs, I want a boob reduction and then a lift. 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Unfortunately 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes 33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yup 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yup number 2 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yuppers 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Again yes 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Hahahaha yeah 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Hahaha oh yes 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Kindq? 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No, I'm not that talented 41. Have you had sex so far this year? No 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Eh, depends on the comfort of my partner but a long time cause i'm /nervous/ 43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 and a half years 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 7?? 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? One 46. How many times did you have sex last year? -shrugs- I was being a hoe 47. How old are you? 22 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? This has happened, I would be supportive and encourage them that they should talk to them. Not like I'm gunna confess anyway. 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Depends on the person cause everyone is different 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? No 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yeah, my brother 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Yes, because they made it clear through their actions that I wasn't worth the effort. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? I don't think so? 54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yes, but not for good reasons 55. Share a relationship story. I'll give a meaningless one from like freshman year. There was this dude who orginally hated me cause I was going through a "emo" stage but freshman year he was basically like: damn girl you cute and we dated for like 8 months or something 56. State 8 facts about your body It's gross, I'm chubby, covered in stretch marks, I'm short, my boobs aren't even, my hands are man hands, but I think I have a nice ass. 57. Things you want to say to an ex Fuck you. Fuck you for making me think I'm not good enough. Fuck you for leaving me broke and dead inside. I hope you choke on the new girls left tit you left me for. 58. What are five ways to win your heart? Be caring, funny, /communication/ open-minded, be real with me 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) (Bastards, its above) 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 3 years 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Physical? Eyes then their laugh 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? COMMUNICATION👏 IS 👏ALWAYS 👏SEXY 63. What is your definition of “having sex”? Idk? Its just sex? 64. What is your definition of cheating? Being emotionally/physically involved with someone who is not your s/o 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Oh man oh man uuuuuhhhhh idk? I don't have one, never really /had/ that v much. Most of my past people were v selfish 66. What is your favourite roleplay? I plead the fifth 67. What is your idea of the perfect date? I'm not a materialistic person. Something heartfelt, just something they thought I would like. 68. What is your sexual orientation? Pansexual 69. What turns you off? Cockiness 70. What turns you on? I /might/ have a praise kink 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? Again. Plead rhe fifth 72. What words do you like to hear during sex? I stg if someone says pussy I am INSTANTLY dry.... that is all I will say even though it doesnt answer the questions 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Play with my hair and sing to me 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? Probs just if they are cute~ 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Surprised me sushi and YOI stuffs when I had a bad day at work 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? I made dinner and bought them gifts and a movie and flowers just cause I felt like it 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? Both people better be 18+ else ima fight 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? My side blog (no I'm not telling you what it is and please I beg don't look for it) 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Hmm... not jealous but protective. My "crush" was telling me about their shitty exs and I got mad. That's the last time I remember anyway 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Probs like 5 minutes ago to a friend xD 81. Who are five people you find attractive? Vanderwood, Hoshi, Shownu, Jimin, Ruby Rose 82. Who is the last person you hugged? God.... I don't even know 83. Who was your first kiss with? This guy I had a crush on freshman year, he dumped me a qeek later cause he realized I was a virgin. 84. Why did your last relationship fail? Lack of communication and mental/emotional abuse 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? Yes

[everythingshawnmendes]

Halloween with Shawn Through the Years (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

talk about last minute halloween fics lmao

4 years old

“SHAWN BABY DON’T RUN YOU’RE GONNA TRIP!”

Two toddlers were running to the next house brightly lit by orange pumpkins. Shawn was dressed up as a fluffy tiger, with a big orange and black striped hood that almost covered his entire head. Y/N was a princess Ariel, with a shirt with purple seashells on them and a green skirt with scales on. The ran beside each other in excitement. Never before in their life had they only had to knock on a door to get free candy! They have also never owned so many treats in their lives. Their mothers scurried behind them, knowing what they got themselves into when they agreed to let Shawn and Y/N trick-or-treat together.

“Trick or treat!” The pair yelled as the owner of the house chuckled at these two little adorable toddlers.

“I got a lady bug shaped chocolate.” Shawn frowned at the sweet he just received as the two walked down the front porch of that house and onto the next.

“It’s okee Shawn, have my caramel.” Y/N grabbed his chocolate and placed her own in his orange bag.

Despite being only four years old, they knew each other extremely well and looked after each other like brother and sister.

They walked onto the next house and Y/N recoiled in fear.

“Mommy I-I’m scared! I don’t wanna go in that one!”

“It’s okay Y/N the skeletons aren’t real. They’re just made out of uh what’s the word pastic (A/N: 4 year old Shawn’s way of saying plastic).”

Y/N was on the verge of a tantrum.

“I don’t want to go.” Tears raising to the little girl’s eyes.

“Come I promise you I will protect you!” Shawn took her hand.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

The pair clutched onto each other as they looked straight ahead, trying not to look at the slightly creepier and more life-like decorations.

10 years old

“Hermione is way better.”

“No Harry is.”

“If it weren’t for Hermione, you’d be dead by the first book.” Y/N poked Shawn’s red and gold tie. “Also, you put the scar on the wrong side.”

“Well Hermione doesn’t actually wear glasses so I don’t know why you have some on.”

“They’re yours, stupid.” Y/N took off the round spectacles and put them back on Shawn’s face.

“Alright my favourite Hogwarts students, go before the Dementors arrive.” Y/N’s mom ushered the two out the door.

“And remember only five streets! And if you get lost go ring a doorbell and ask to use the phone!” Karen yelled after them.

“We got this mom!” Shawn brushed her off.

“Those two make quite the pair, don’t they?” Y/N’s mom smiled watching them race on the sidewalk.

“Yes they do. They certainly like annoying each other, that’s for sure.”

“Well, you know what they say. Sometimes when kids like each other that’s how they show affection.”

15 years old

“Y/N I don’t like horror movies!”

“Stop being a pussy, this one is like the least scary one on Netflix.”

Shawn huffed and plopped on the couch beside Y/N.

“I’ll get it!” He got up when he heard the doorbell to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. “Hey go easy on the caramels will ya, save some for me.” He whispered in Y/N’s ear.

The pair decided to abandon the movie, because honestly Shawn wasn’t going to sit through it anyway. They merely sat on Y/N’s front porch and handed out candy while conversing.

“What do you wanna do later on?” Shawn asked.

“Not too sure. Would like to get into the science field. You?”

“Kay don’t laugh. Like seriously, cause it’s really stupid and practically impossible. But like maybe become a singer?”

“Shawn. I’ve known you all my life. This definitely is far from the stupidest thing you’ve said.” Y/N laughed, Shawn joining.

“So you don’t think it’s stupid?”

“Nah. I see you in Hollywood.” Y/N gazed at him.

“Aw if it isn’t the lovebirds.” The high school bitch exclaimed as she came up the driveway with her friends.

“Aw if it isn’t the dumbass who doesn’t realise a girl and a guy can’t be friends without being in a relationship.” Y/N raised her middle finger.

“Y/N!” Her mom said, as she clambered onto the front porch with Karen and Aaliyah. Shawn snickered at her.

17 years old

“I’d like to thank Taylor so much for having me on this 1989 tour.” Shawn gestured on stage to a Taylor dressed as a snowman. “It’s been great.”

+

Y/N downed the red cup full of beer alongside her friends, all dressed up as cats.

“Hey sexy.” A guy passing by them said.

“Bye.” Y/N waved sarcastically.

“Hey Y/N what happened to that friend of yours? Shawn?”

“You definitely know him. You have his song in your playlist.”

“Wait. Shit. Your old childhood friend is Shawn MENDES?”

20 years old

Y/N smiled at herself in the mirror. A decade ago, she was dressed exactly the same. Gryffindor robe, black skirt, wand in hand. Hermione was the true heroine of Harry Potter. She set out the door into her car and off to some party her friend has been raving about.

Shawn closed the Youtube video “how to tie a tie” as he managed to secure the red and gold Harry Potter tie around his neck. He unwrapped a caramel that was lying on his table then left his condo and over to Andrew’s house.

The pair stood side by side at the bar ordering drinks. Turning around, the both proceeded to say: “Nice costume.”

Their hand then flew to their mouths in shock.

“Y/N?”

“Shawn?”

“Oh my god.”

They hugged each other, dumbstruck. They then proceeded to sit down at a couch and reconnected, talking about everything that had happened in their whirlwind lives the past five years.

21 years old

“Wow cheesy.” Geoff commented on Shawn and Y/N’s costume.

“Shut up it’s funny.”

“Lemme get a picture of you too, it’ll get the media fawning. And the couples who are also wearing a bacon and egg costume not feel alone.”

Y/N chuckled as Shawn looped his arm around her shoulder.

“You’re cute.” Shawn looked down at her.

“As are you.”

30 years old

“THOMAS BABY DON’T RUN YOU’RE GONNA TRIP!” Shawn called after his mischievous four year old as he dragged his two year old sister down the sidewalk, who was barely keeping up with her two tiny feet.

“Shawn that’s literally word for word, what your mom told you when we were 4.”

Shawn grinned at the memory.

“How can I forget? My first trick-or-treating experience.”

“Hey you think we should do that Kimmel “I told my kids I ate their candy” challenge thing?”

38 years old

Shawn and Y/N sat in their kitchen, practically crying of laughter.

“Thomas, Rose come here!” They played a video on their phone of those two eight years ago screaming and pouting.

“Not cool dad, I actually thought you two ate all my candy.”

“I was only 2!”

“It was a joke!” Shawn chuckled. “Although I did steal some of your caramels.”

The pair of siblings left the room.

“We really are bad parents aren’t we?”

“The worst.” Shawn chuckled, pulling his wife in for a kiss on the cheek.

50 years old

“Hey hun look here what Rose posted on her Facebook.”

“Aw cute.” Y/N replied.

“What do you mean cute? She’s half naked! That isn’t a costume it’s lingerie!”

“Shawn she’s 22.”

“Still.”

“Imagine when we were 22. I’m sure you would have liked to see me in that.” Y/N cocked an eyebrow.

“Still do.” Shawn smirked, pulling her in for a hug.

60 years old

“Hi dears come in!” Y/N cried at the sight of her children and grandchildren. “Look at them! You are so precious.”

“What’s up guys.” Shawn opened the door to his son and daughter.

“And Rose! You dressed her up as princess Ariel!”

“What’s so special about princess Ariel?” Shawn said, popping a caramel in his mouth.

“That was my first Halloween costume.”

“Oh yeah!” Shawn remembered.

“And watch how many of those you eat, we ain’t 28 anymore.” Y/N chuckled.

“Not my fault you make these so damn delicious.”

85 years old

Y/N and Shawn were sitting calmly on their armchairs in front of the fire.

“Hey.” Shawn said.

“Hmm?”

“It’s Halloween today.”

“Is it?” Y/N asked.

Shawn got up slowly and disappeared into the storage room. He reemerged into the room with a hat and a pair of glasses. Sitting back down, he placed the hat on Y/N’s head and put the round glasses on himself.

“Harry really couldn’t have survived without Hermione.” He said.

“Only took you over seventy years to figure that out.” Y/N laughed.

“I couldn’t have survived this life without you Y/N.”

Shawn said.

Y/N smiled at him.

“You want me to make caramel?”

ik this aint caramel but honestly i cant find good gifs on here anymore idk why

[hopeymchope]

Yuno? No, you don’t know: Part 1

(Yes, puns. Sorry?)

“My bad!”

It’s weird to me how so much of the artwork/cosplay/text posts I see of Yuno Gasai on Tumblr seem to portray/discuss a character that is at odds with the one I know from reading the manga and watching the anime so many times. Maybe I’m just getting a different interpretation somehow, but... I think I actually have a lot of evidence to back up the version I know and love.

So: HELLO, YOU! Welcome to the first in an informal series of character-study essays where I try to explain to the rest of the world and fandom why I think they’re getting Yuno Gasai totally wrong.

The first one is probably the most common mistake. It’s bolded below, and it’s the central thesis of this first post.

Yuno is the so-called “Yandere Queen,” but note that the Yandere label largely applies to any time anyone threatens Yuki’s life or safety. THIS is the primary trigger that sets her off, with the secondary trigger being “if you repeatedly and overtly try to tear her apart from Yuki by making her seem evil or dishonorable, she will eventually raise your death flag.” The first trigger can easily earn you instant death, but the second trigger takes quite a while to launch. You have to repeatedly attempt to ruin her life before she’ll decide “Well shit, guess I have to kill him/her.”

I could back the above statements up, but that’s not what this post is about. Instead, it’s about answering this question: What about the jealousy that the Yandere trope often exemplifies? Does Yuno threaten everyone who flirts with/shows interest in Yuki or vice versa?

Weirdly, a simple google search of her name would tell you “Yes, of course! Yuno tries to murder/actively murders anyone who even looks at her Yuki!”

Aaahhh. no. That’s the point of my post today.

Yuno does not attack or kill anyone who is attracted to Yuki or whom Yuki is attracted to. It’s just not true.

This is entirely false, and I can prove it using every available example of anyone hitting on Yuki or vice-versa throughout the show/manga.

More character analysis and plenty of animated gifs past the cut.

1) The first character in-panel/on-screen to fit this mold is Tsusbaki, a.k.a. Sixth. Yuno is a startled and displeased to see Tsubaki hit on Yuki in episode four, “Hand-Written,” but it isn’t until she realizes that Tsubaki is actively trying to tell Yuki that Yuno should be ditched that she starts threatening Tsubaki’s life... from a distance. And even then, when Yuno starts making threats, Yuki is like “Jesus Yuno, chill out” and her response is basically to shrug and be like “Fine, okay. But I’m watching you, Sixth.” It barely takes any effort from Yuki to make her just kind of shrug her own concerns off!

In fact, when does Yuno finally flip out on and attack Tsubaki? After Tsubaki reveals her entire plan like a damn Bond villain in episode five, “Voice Memo,” wherein Tsubaki exposes that she only asked them to help her and only tried to be sweet with Yuki so she could ingratiate herself and then kill them both. This naturally trips Yuno’s primary trigger (never threaten Yuki’s life), and she promptly goes medieval on Tsubaki’s ass.

Yuno SMAAAAASH!

2) The first character in continuity (though we don’t learn this story until episode 18, “Crossed Lines”) to fit this mold is Moe Wakaba. This takes place prior to Yuki and Yuno really having much of a relationship, but after the infamous “promise” that made Yuno view him as her only hope of escape from a miserable life. In the flashback ep, we learn about how, when Yuki wants to tell Moe Wakaba how much he likes her, Yuno dresses up in the (iconic!) ridiculous pink bunny suit. Then, while disguised as this unnerving mascot, does her best to block all attempts for Yuki to give over his love letter or for the pair to hold hands.

“Denied!”

In the end, however, Yuki prevails and delivers his admission of feelings to Moe. Despite this, Yuno leaves Wakaba unharmed and even lets her keep the love letter! Yuno just goes home and acts dejected about the experience but ultimately relieved that Wakaba appeared uninterested in return from what she could see.

3) Aru Akise is a big one for many fans. The slash addicts love this guy. He is, of course, the smooth gay detective boy who thinks Yuki is a hottie. The way he initially hits on Yuki in front of everyone doesn’t even earn a reaction from Yuno at all (although later on, she does call Aru a “perv” for immediately caressing Yuki’s face upon their first meeting).

Things move fast in the two-parter where Akise is introduced (episodes 8 and 9). Akise tries to rescue Yuki by bluffing and doing a 50/50 gamble; when Yuno realizes that he’s lyiing, she tackles him and tries to stab him for... what? Is it because of his interest in Yuki? No, she specifically tells him it’s because he was gambling with Yuki’s life. However, when he deflects her attack, she backs down. And when he tries to convince Yuno that he’s there to help by information her that he genuinely cares about protecting Yuki because his feelings for Yuki, are, in fact, lovey-dovey; and Yuno’s only reaction is a befuddled “What? Hold on a minute!” And that’s it.

In fact, it gets better! A couple of days later we see her greet this smooth gay sleuth politely and with open arms when he breaks into her goddamn house in episode 10, “Family Plan.” After all, Yuki vouches for him and he did set her and Yuki up on a pretty sweet date, so she is totally cool with him now in spite of his feelings for Yuki AND his B&E crime! THAT’S HOW LITTLE SHE CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR YUKI. (Sadly, this would be the pinnacle of their friendship for other reasons; please refer to the second trigger for more information.)

And oh yeah, I’ve got more.

In the infamous episode 22, when Yuno and Yuki go to talk to Aru and Yuno is fully anticipating a betrayal from the guy after her unfortunate run-in with him in the prior episode... she doesn’t even try to kill him! She actively tries to keep him alive, which is pretty damn shocking in the situation. First she goes after him by stabbing him in the appendix region (the same area that she will later stab herself in this very same episode, noting that she purposefully aimed for a non-serious wound). The second time she attacks, she uses a stungun.

“High-speed stunneeerrr-aw crap.”

Non-lethal attacks only for the entire first round of someone that’s been trying to ruin her relationship with Yuki for the past eight or nine episodes, holy shit. I just realized this one, myself! Of course, when Aru lays out his entire plan to turn Yuki against her and then see her dead, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

4) Should I even mention Ai, who openly speaks of Yuki’s cuteness and how she likes flirting with him when she pops up in episode 15, “Dual Cell Phones”? No reaction from Yuno to any of that.

My point is that... despite all the artwork and photo collages of cosplay that portray Yuno as someone who will kill any man or woman that goes after her man, there’s shockingly little evidence to back this up.

I mean, come on. Yuno herself doesn’t even understand this widespread belief.

“Huh... yeah... no, I don’t get it.”

What evidence IS there to support the idea that Yuno would attack anyone who threatens her relationship with Yuki? Is there any?

Not a ton, but let’s look at the flip side.

1) She does, in fact, look pretty pissed whenever someone else is either interested in Yuki or vice-versa. She looks particularly cheesed off whenever it’s Yuki showing the interest rather than the other way around. I mean... she doesn’t necessarily act on this rage of hers, but her facial expressions sure seem serious even if she makes no effort to back them up.

"Her name is Moe?! How unbelievably trite!”

2) Yuno is shown to get a rage-induced adrenaline rush whenever someone else kisses Yuki. The thing is, on the only two times that this ever happens, Yuno has already decided to kill the person who enrages her because they previously tripped one of the two triggers I noted at the start; the kiss is beside the point, because she wanted to kill those people regardless of any lip-locks.

3) The biggest moment to support this notion comes when she puts her knife to Hinata’s throat towards the end of “Blocking Calls” (episode 9).

“Lemme borrow your neck for a second.”

Yuno and Yuki argue earlier in the episode about Yuki’s insistence that he can still be friends with Hinata, and Yuno’s counterpoint that, well, she did try to kill you almost all night. Yuno does threaten Hinata with her knife and even openly says that “If you start to like this girl, where does that leave me? So I’ve gotta kill her.” However, this is the only time she ever acts like this, and I think Yuki’s willingness to forgive Hinata’s attempt to kill him is probably a big reason she freaks out. To say nothing of the fact that Hinata tripped trigger #1.

Okay, that’s enough of this. My point is pretty obvious: With the exception of her speech about having to kill Hinata, there’s really nothing that actively supports the idea that Yuno will kill or maim anyone who looks at the object of her affection. That’s just not in the character, even though loads and loads of photo collages, cosplay pieces, and fan art seem to think otherwise for some reason.

I kind of suspect that many of these folks are fans of the “Yandere” concept more than Yuno Gasai herself, who doesn’t actually adhere to every single tenet of the trope.

[easilymakermoney]

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Even Trump Would Signal This Child With His Golden Sharpie

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Even Trump Would Signal This Child With His Golden Sharpie

Holy Moly!

HOLY MOLY!

“Lemme let you know, this report, it’s gonna be huge. It’s gonna be actually huge. I like huge studies, however this one is the most important.” – Trump

It’s this time of the 12 months once more (what number of occasions have we heard this damned phrase?)

Trump can be pleased to approve and signal this report together with his golden Sharpie had been he an affiliate marketer. And he’d be a rattling good affiliate marketer, lemme let you know.

(Sure, he actually has a golden Sharpie, as a result of it’s cool).

STM’s What’s Working in Affiliate Advertising and marketing 2019 report has been formally introduced and it’s going to go stay in just some days time.

We’re speaking 220+ pages drenched in detailed, eye-opening affiliate traits, instructions, secrets and techniques and information of the trade.

We’re speaking ALL the most important associates and companies from the affiliate universe. And the eCom universe, and each different universe.

We’re speaking ALL the most important visitors sources and affiliate networks.

We’re speaking ALL the juicy particulars.

Us associates aren’t identified to be probably the most affected person varieties – there are campaigns to be launched, gives to be examined and lambos to be crashed.

And we’ve been affected person sufficient.

Yearly we anticipate the “What’s Working In 20XX” studies with sweaty palms.

This 12 months’s is nearly to pop up (no pun supposed).

You higher seize a drink and a few junk meals and dig in, the clock is ticking.

This report not solely reveals what’s going to work however it additionally units traits globally for your complete trade.

Additionally, it’s free for all STM members.

The staff has been working their assess off for this to be delivered on time.

It’s the most important one but.

Glue your eyeballs to the display at this location

BIG ANNOUCEMENT #2: Secret Night time Owl Affiliate Nest in Barcelona

Screw it, I’ll simply quote Chaz and his beautiful thread as a result of it’s a must to learn this:

“Okay so what I discussed to you guys earlier on within the Affiliate World Europe – Barcelona announcement has lastly been launched to the general public

I wished to go over a number of different additional particulars/ideas in right here, however primarily simply to be sure you’re all up to the mark on what is going on down.

1) Affiliate After Hours is the Official occasion for AWE

2) We have rented out Pacha Nightclub (Rated #5 in all of Spain & prime 50 Nightclubs within the World)

Three) There are over 30 tables networks/visitors sources/advertisers will likely be reserving… that is room for 100+ of you to persuade your reps you’ll scale with a view to publish up with free gray goose

Four) We have chatted with the primary corporations that host events, we have coordinated for there to be no overlap right here (no skamping/pin-balling vital between events)

One factor we aren’t promoting to attendees is the chance to purchase tables with buddies. Clearly our best route to ensure we cowl prices is having corporations sponsor. However I have been advised selection is the spice of life, so what we did was made positive there have been a number of choices out there.

I do not give two sh*ts when you do or do not however would not or not it’s rad to seize Four-5 buddies and lock in your individual house? The simplest route is the most affordable possibility €3K for 2 tables, two bottles and 10 wristbands. Tooooo straightforward. Solely three of those out there.

Click on right here, hit “Going” and make it identified.

For those who’re feeling additional stoked about STM and AWC’s huge occasion – present us some love and share this hyperlink along with your buds/gals.

https://fb.com/AffiliateWorldC…2328?__tn__=-R

That’s all, go away anyyyy questions right here or simply DM if you need – Chaz”

Click on that FB hyperlink above and invite your pals proper now!

Or go to the thread and ask the person himself if in case you have any questions.

Official thread right here

STM Holds Child Engineer’s Hand To The Inexperienced Lands

One other day, one other worthwhile beginner.

This time it’s an engineer and he’s a number of months younger into the affiliate scene.

He posted a really detailed and effectively organised observe alongside requesting suggestions and steerage.

As traditional, STM mods, specialists and veteran associates jumped in.

It’s like having dozens of coaches on the identical time for lower than you pay to your tracker.

And justinzing7 (let’s simply name him Justin) confirmed us fairly a number of screenshots the place the rows are inexperienced and making benjamins.

And it’s solely going to get higher from this level on.

Child engineers in right here

Round Barcelona in 40 Days

This beginner determined to start out his training with the most secure guess of all of them:

Vortex’s 40-Day Beginner Tutorial

It’s by far the best approach to bounce into online marketing.

And bounce he did.

The income present for it.

And he’s on the brink of safe a spot for the most important affiliate convention on the planet taking place this July in Barcelona.

Affiliate World Conferences is the way you attain the following degree in AM.

Better of luck to “kramnave” – might his ROIs soar and his lambos go sooner.

Maintain monitor of the observe alongside right here

Pop Your Sweeps for Three-Four Minutes and Open Rigorously

It has been a troublesome journey for “nitinsethi”

Filled with traps and setbacks.

A change of technique, nevertheless, and we now see the primary glimpse of hope.

Inexperienced.

He doesn’t have a whiny (however trustworthy) Sam to assist him climb the volcano, however he does have Sauron’s military (STM) to assist. And he’s about to placed on the ring.

One other profitable observe alongside within the making.

Certainly one of many extra to come back.

Worthwhile observe alongside freshly popped right here

One other 40-dayer In Right here

One other one to hitch the massively worthwhile faith of Vortex’s 40-day tutorial.

This one is sort of there with the inexperienced screenshots.

May wanna regulate it.

Working laborious for the lambo

Affiliate: How YOU Doin`? Fb: Slap…Banhammer

This affiliate tried to indicate love and affection to Girl Fb.

All he received was a slap throughout the face and a banhammer.

She let it slide for two days earlier than the banhammer.

He was sending her whitehat love and affection.

The place did he mess up?

This romantic story’s climax you’ll discover down right here:

Affiliate + FB = Robust Love

What The Aff Are You Stacking?

Manu Cinca’s well-known and explosively rising affiliate publication now hatches podcasts.

To cite the grasp:

“What’s up STMers! I assume lots of that I have been busy for a couple of 12 months now with this little piece of day by day goodness referred to as WHAT THE AFF.

Probably the most standard asks from readers was to start out a podcast soooo… we did! It is referred to as the Stacked Advertising and marketing Present as a result of the objective is to stack the advertising and marketing odds in your favour, get it? (not related to STM, by the best way!).”

The podcasts are improbable and have some tremendous huge names – first 2 posted contained in the thread.

Watch them now!

Stacked Advertising and marketing Present by WTAFF in right here

STM’s Jordan Belfort Besides He Misplaced His Tens of millions Three Instances

Kind by Controversial on the very least.

This man’s story is unbelievable:

“For those who’re on STM for a whilst you know I made my first million after I was 22… later I received into mid xx,xxx,xxx.xx figures with my complement enterprise. From zero. With simply two workers. Certainly one of them an fool, and one other grew to become a fairly succesful man (after 12 months of nerve-wrecking coaching).”

He then misplaced all of it.

To make it again once more from scratch.

“2007 – broke to a millionaire (1) for the primary time in web advertising and marketing market being certainly one of prime, record-breaking copywriters on the market. I spent all of it. 2015 – broke to a multi-millionaire (43+) for the second time in testosterone dietary supplements market, making the highest promoting testosterone complement on the internet, instantly. Yup, I managed to spend all of it however a pair actual estates. 2018 – broke to a millionaire (ongoing)”

His “identify” is “testosterone” and the nickname checks out at 100%.

All types of cuh-razy individuals within the affiliate trade with even crazier tales.

You be the decide of this one.

Jordan Belfort is right here

from Easily Maker Money https://easilymakermoney.com/2019/04/04/big-announcement-even-trump-would-signal-this-child-with-his-golden-sharpie/