#giving cycles a try again
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@KAILABRICE: ...ANYWAY! the silk press is silking using sevyn's new "gloss up" line 🙂↕️ coming real soon!
𝜗𝜚 recent episode | watch from the start!
#giving cycles a try again#the only thing i don't fw is how long it takes to render :(#other than that it's great#could be my settings tho so idk lol#pose by afrosimtric#outfit + hair by noirangelz#bag + boots + acc by cocogames#blunt by frxsk0#scene by bella studios#lykaia#my characters#*kaila brice#ts4 render#ts4 series#ts4 simblr#queue
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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the great gatsby / kentucky route zero / koe no katachi / disco elysium / omori / night in the woods / homestuck / koe no katachi / l'étranger / disco elysium / firewatch / john dies at the end / everything everywhere all at once / the subtle art of not giving a f*ck
#MAKING THESE IS SO HARD#i've always been obsessed with them so i wanted to try it out#but there was so much i didn't get to include#wolf 359 minecraft end poem goodbye despair the things they carried... there will be other chances i suppose#the media i consume is an endless cycle of the same themes over and over again which gives me an abundance of ideas for these#yay i'm having so much fun!#🌃#kentucky route zero#a silent voice#disco elysium#omori#night in the woods#homestuck#firewatch#john dies at the end#everything everywhere all at once
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making an astronomy/meteoritics iterator oc when i know fuckall or at least just very basic things about those things was maybe a mistake. Looking up stuff for reference/inspo like haha i like your funny words magic man
#currently trying to figure out if it could work to make them be built in the center of an impact crater#there is one in canada that has a circular lake i might just steal that#still thinking about what even their deal is and what exactly they do.#they probably studied the rocks n minerals in the crater if their creators havent done that extensively already#and analyse any other material brought to them?#i think they would also do stuff about planets n such they observe their cycles/routes or something like that#I dont think they'd be puuuurely scientific i think there would be a lot of religious or spiritual stuff too#they dont just do the science bits but also how it would/could connect to spirituality and such#they are really really old even by iterator standards so sometimes their theories and research can be a bit outdated#“no stones this spiritual theory is wayyy outdated you cant base your calculations on that. No we will not start working with it again -#-just because you refuse to switch to the new model. Stones please we had this discussion already just give me the star charts i requested"#something like that
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grimm – batman: legends of the dark knight #149
[ID: a panel sequence of young Dick Grayson just two months after his parents' murders. He's sulking at the dining table in the grandiose Wayne Manor. The dinner is taking place in front of a lit fireplace that causes the entire room to have a soft, bronze glow to it. The table itself is long and decorated and Bruce Wayne is sitting on the opposite end of it. Alfred Pennyworth prompts, “More mashed potatoes, Master Dick—?” But Dick is too busy thinking about a young criminal he ran into when he snuck out earlier. He quietly mutters the taunt she told him, “‘Spoiled brat in a circus suit’—?” Alfred asks, “Was that a yes or a no?” The pouting child brusquely tells him, ”no,” which causes the butler to clear his throat. Dick begrudgingly corrects himself, “No thank you, Alfred.” Alfred responds, “As you wish, Master Dick.”
But Dick is already uttering another taunt under his breath, “‘Lap of luxury’!” Bruce leans forward slightly and asks if everything is okay but Dick dismisses his concern. He excuses, “I'm... I'm not very hungry, Bruce. Is it okay if I go to my room?” Despite his obvious qualms, Bruce awkwardly smiles and replies, “Uh... Of course. Certainly.” Dick gets up as Alfred tells him the food will be in the refrigerator if he gets hungry later but Dick just ‘uh-huh’s him as he walks away. With the child upstairs, Bruce immediately stands up and paces. He stops in front of the fireplace and stares into the blaze as he monologues his worries, “Maybe this was a mistake. What in the world made me think I could raise a boy? I don't know the first thing about it! I've always been a loner! I don't have the knowledge... or the disposition... to make this work.” Alfred wryly asks, “Are you addressing the fireplace, Sir—or me?” But Bruce stresses his demur without looking at him, “His parents are dead, Alfred! What gives me the temerity to believe I can replace them in his life?”
Alfred solemnly reassures, “I asked myself the same questions once. What in the world did a butler know about raising a young man who'd just lost the two people he loved most in the world? But strangely enough, Sir—I adapted. I learned. I learned because I wanted to... Because I cared. And... despite some difficulties along the way—I think the young man in question turned out splendidly. And I think Master Dick will too.” Bruce doesn't say anything but he his eyes closed in thought as Alfred talks before looking at him with a soft smile. He straightens his posture when Alfred finishes and puts his hand on his shoulder, silently grateful for the man's fatherly reassurance and support once again. END ID]
#losing my mind at this....#bruce worrying and doubting himself and if he can give dick the life he deserves#he loves him. he cares. but he knows love alone wont save someone and his own worries about what if he fails#alfred who started this cycle of caring about someone elses son and trying to raise orphaned children while fearing you arent good enough#you see your own heartbreak in their face and you try so hard to save them because its saving yourself in a sense.#bruce doom spiraling because dick didnt want his mash potatoes....#dicks chubby little face....#alfreds love and support but always with that barrier. he loves & raised bruce like hes his own child but hes always going to be the butler#every ‘son’ being replaced with ‘sir’...#and bruce internalizing that barrier and that layer of separation and distance so he duplicates it because its all he knows#he doesn't want to but its all he knows and hes still terrified of what if he fails them? what if he loses them#by disappointing them and them seeing hes not qualified and good enough to be their father?#but also if he isnt good enough he'll fail them by getting them killed. he'll lose his loved one yet again#just this cycle of fear and doubt and love and trying your best despite it not always being good enough and GAH#also cannot stress enough bruce monologuing and doubting himself because dick is upset and didn't want dinner is so funny#c: batman: legends of the dark knight | i: 149#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#bruce & dick#alfred & bruce#happy sad boy sunday !!!#<- it counts enough only because im posting this on a sunday >:3
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i like garthful it reminds me of sans undertale aus
#im still a 9 year old with an AU phase mentally#except this is worse because im almost 17 now and i desesperately need seretonin in some Way to not go depressive#they dont lie when they say your interests as a kid will go back to haunt you#the cycle repeats and i cannot help but give into consumption... or else iwill once again try to Uhm Erm Um Uh#my lisaslop
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i think... i'm gonna take a little break for the weekend. i'm struggling with energy and focus and, like. autistic inertia. which is making writing (or even opening up my laptop with the intent of writing) difficult. and then i'm putting pressure on myself bc i feel bad about not keeping up with things which makes it that much harder. so i think!! i need to just take a step back for a few days!! remind myself that it's not the end of the world and it's okay to not write if i'm having a hard time!! let myself indulge in the hyperfixation i have for a couple of games rn without feeling guilty for it!!!
could i do this without announcing it to everyone bc who cares if someone you only know online is away for a couple days? yes. but it takes a weight off my chest to explain myself, so!!!! shhh!!!
#this is gonna extend to dms too i'm so sorry adjgksg#it's so hard to explain why talking with people i like about things i WANT to talk about is so taxing#but it is and i think i just need the reminder that it's okay. that i can take as long as i damn well please. that the only one putting#pressure on any of it is ME and that's fucking silly as hell#idk i'm mentally in a weird place bc i've lost my momentum again but i'm trying v hard to not spiral about it#in my usual bs cycle that traps me in my depression & burnout#thanks yet again for all your guys' patience & understanding 💜#i'm not like. actually GOING anywhere. i'll still be online & liking all ur posts n shit#i just need to give myself permission to chill & not write so i'm posting abt it adjgksh#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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something I (with a uncomfortable past like a cyst on my current behavior) didn't understand when embarking on a huge writing project is that. If you get even a little bit chalant it won't work. You can't even get a little bit chalant. Not even a little bit! The non is in there for a reason. To taunt you. You just have to have fun. But you can't force it. You have to pspspsps it out by being genuinely forgiving and. and being a bit dorky.
#i had a really fun night. and i drank with friends and we played destiny and i solved a big chapter in the intermissions#i think. and again this is a dangerous thing. so try it at your own peril but i THINK i might have stumbled upon a solution to my horrible#horrible mental state re: creative endeavors#and that is to genuinely not give a flying fuck.#its great.#(trembling from caring so much) why is this so hard? TELL ME#i have no great point btw. im just. happy.#these cycles will always persist but i will have this little tiny cultivated space where i make the rules and that is more than i could eve#wish for.#.......#MWAH! in these trying times.
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heads up seven up
thank you @space-writes for the tag <3 more dragon wars au because it's been living rent free in my head
Birdie wakes slowly, stretching out languidly on the furs. It takes her mind a moment to catch up with her, and when it does, she freezes, her eyes snapping open to search in the dark for the general. To her surprise, the lantern is still lit--he must have forgotten to put it out before he fell asleep. She can see him splayed out next to her. His face is relaxed in sleep, all the anger and tension drained out of him. He looks younger like this. He's laid out on his back, one arm draped over his stomach. His scarred chest rises and falls slowly, steadily.
For the first time, she's not tied up. And he's asleep.
Her eyes dart to the tent entrance. Then they fall on the sword laying on the ground next to the bed. Her gaze slides back to the general, eyes closed as he slumbers away.
She's never killed anyone before. This is a foolish plan. She doesn't have to reach far to close her hand around the hilt of the sword. She's shaking as she rises to her knees, gripping the sword in both hands. He's killed thousands. He burned cities, villages, towns. She might not end the war, but how many would she save? She lifts the sword over him, her arms trembling. For Raedora, she thinks, but her arms don't move. She stares down at his sleeping face, his voice murmuring in the back of her mind, my name is Fabin.
"I knew it," the general snarls, and Birdie nearly screams, but before she can move to cut off his head, he is sitting up, one hand wrapped around the sword and the other around her throat. He wrenches the sword easily from her grasp, tossing it to the side, and yanks her close. "I knew you didn't have it in you." She glares at him and his grip tightens around her throat. "If you're going to kill me, witch," he says in her ear, "you're going to have to commit to it."
"I'll keep that in mind," she manages to gasp, and he releases her neck, chuckling. He winds his arms around her waist, pressing his nose into her shoulder.
"You are something else," he says softly, and she shivers.
leaving an open tag on this one for anybody who would like to hop on <3
#writeblr#writeblr community#original fiction#tag game#the dragon wars au#the raedoran cycle#birdie#fabin#rb original#birdie: tries to kill fabin#fabin: that's kind of hot actually#birdie: by all means give me a chance to try again
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The Scorned Hacktivist Wrench in Watch_Dogs Legion: Bloodline (2021)
#Crimson's Gifs: Watch_Dogs#Watch_Dogs#Watch_Dogs Legion#Watch_Dogs Legion: Bloodline#Watch_Dogs Legion Bloodline#WDL#WD#WD:L#Wrench#The Wrench#Wrench Blechman#Reginald Blechman#Reggie Blechman#Honestly I wish Wrench killed Rempart after he threatened Josh/Sitara and ESPECIALLY Marcus#Like yeah yeah break the cycle of violence bs but thats Aiden's story not Wrench's.#Wrench's story revolves around realising being someone else to make other people happy never works#I think he shouldve killed him. As a treat#Anyways I finished the DLC and honestly I am once again asking why this isnt the main game and the legion main game isnt DLC#Like they had to nerf the dlc story so people would actually remember the main game exists 😭#im gonna TRY to give the main game a shot but only because I can play as Wrench#I love how Wrench's story with the Pearce family ends on him gushing about what he wants to do for Marcus btw#Like Marcus was barely in this game aside from word of mouth and that one side mission but hes THERE to Wrench#Like hes not There but hes THERE. Wrench literally cannot go 5 minutes without thinking about him.#And that makes me so absolutely insane. The game gave him an ex-husband. and then made Marcus 80% of his mindspace CANONICALLY#and we are supposed to ignore the dots connecting? I see what you're doing *morphs into shane from the watcher*
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how long does burnout last? asking for a friend
#look not to create another post where i rant in the tags but my guys am i feeling it right now#i'm so highkey stressed at work now im fucking exhausted when i get home#i spend 9 hours a day in a state of constant anxiety and then i WANT to crash the second i get home but there's a list of things to do#like my bf's parents moved back in with us and they've taken over the place#can't find my cat or dogs food cus the kitchen gets rearranged on a daily basis + they rearranging the furniture because theyre bored#im just so exhausted and i no longer get my usual alone time to chill out and reset#can't even find myself enjoying my usual hobies for some reason like i'm trying to switch it up but nothing has been sparking joy#except for my doom scrolling on insatgram funny enough#idk if its just me or something but my focus has been complete shit lately#cant find enjoyment in my games or books or writing or music or working out or literally anything at all#like i'm still writing every day because i don't wanna fall into a slump again but most of the time im just staring at the page like =/#cus im at least getting the first draft out of my brain and written but I still feel like im standing on the edge of that slump#been trying to mix it up a little and get into new things but my stupid brain keeps making me feel bad about it#like 'oh you're giving up on this thing now? wonder how long it will be before you come back to actually finish it'#and i just want to tell it to stfu and let me enjoy things#like i bought that expedition 33 game that everyone is talking about cus it was something that was on my radar for a long time#and a gay romantasy book i found on bookstagram since its been a minute since i read anything that wasn't fanfic or a comic#but again my brain is an asshole and reminds me that i've got Trails Through Daybreak to finish before i start Expedition 33#and that i've been carrying around another fantasy book in my backpack for months and have only read the first 50 pages of that#so i need to finish my old stuff first but that stuff has become a chore I need to do before i can actually get to do the stuff i want to#and then i end up not doing it because it drains my energy and i just start the whole vicious cycle over again#might just say fuck it and rewatch apthocary diaries#because honestly that show is the only reason i'm able to make it to every weekend and idk what i'm going to do when the season is over
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Overkill AU is gonna wreck me god
#luna rambles#loop times ten wet cat#themes of self destruction#and LITERALLY breaking cycles#everyone around siffrin wanting them to take care of himself and the time loop is just... making that concept WORSE#ALSO LUPUS LITTLE LUPUS#THE DIRECTOR???? the director is gonna destroy me loop is gonna destroy me siffrin is gonna destroy me#just everything about this au is setting up dominoes to leave me a wreck#just;;;; the themes ultimately being about self care;;;; about letting others go so you can have another day;;;#to trust that they wont leave you behind;;;; you need more time but you cant have it unless you take care of yourself first;;;#you are rotting to the core and the world is collapsing around you but nothing will be solved throwing yourself into meat grinder;;;#if isat/sasasaap are stories made from the isolation of covid overkill is post-covid and trying to live in a world that keeps going despite#the horrors evolving around you#even loop telling siffrin to give up: its fucked up but they also want to save siffrin the pain of going through the death loop again#theres no POINT in suffering SACRIFICE means nothing suffering in silence doesnt help#the director wants this show to go on forever. Keep literally killing herself again and again encore encore encore meat for the meat grinder#and siffrin just needs to choose not to go in without giving up entirely..... and they wont#(unless lupus and dusk can help change things... they already have. Hopefully they can again)#anyway Im Having Feelings good au good au go read the overkill au
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Just started crying in the gym parking lot and I'm trying to turn it into gains motivation
#i have set time to get back to messages today and am trying to do things and Feel Better and help where I can#but I'm also so exhausted and tired and weak and feeling selfish for needing support because. well because I know it's needed elsewhere more#and so again sticking myself in this vicious cycle of trying to help and over extending myself and then getting tired bc I have nothing#to give anymore#anyway like in the midst of everything else this is so small#but I can't ask for Help bc I need to just handle it bc I know most of my network is equally overextended#and anyway. one day soon I'll get over my deep fear of 'being human and needing people to help me' but until then#crying in the pf parking lot and lifting heavy 💪👍
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Month 9, day 7
I'M NOT EVEN DONE YET, BITCHEEEEEEESSSSSS
Gonna add grass and trees and I think a chair to the balcony before we're done :D
#the great artscapade of 2024#art#my art#blender#blender render#blender 3d#cycles render#I have a procedural brick texture I could have made/used#this could have been so much easier#why didn't I just do that#oh yeah because I'm following the tutorial that's why#ugh man I'm sleepy tired#I blame a certain squeaky kitty who woke me up at 4am#actually I blame his dad who SHUT THE CAT OUT OF HIS ROOM WHERE KITTY'S FOOD AND WATER IS#AND THEN PASSED OUT WITH THE DOOR STILL SHUT#kitty was SO HUNGY and VER THIRST and kept pestering me to fix it#but seeing as it was 4am I was (naturally) trying to sleep#so I kept ignoring him#because it was 4am#anyway we had a talk and my roommate told me if that happens again just open his door lol#and now kitty is being obnoxiously squeaky for an unrelated reason but I think it's bc it's way past my bedtime and that's Not Allowed™#so I GUESS I'll give in to the sleep tireds and go beddy bye#nighty night 💜
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AGEON DOESN'T SPEAK VALYRIAN L!!! L!!! MASSIVE L!!! NOT THE KING!!!
#AHDKAJSKA AEMOND GOT HIM!!!! DAMN!!! i hat you still but keep having squabbles over there rhaenyra is still trying to steer her council lmao#give her some time yeah....#also the cycle aegon... watch out for the cycle....#girl!!! hide the evidence!!!!!#crispin with the army and daemon just taking naps and hallucinating.... girl get a grip#daemon as aemond??? hello....#LAENA???!!!!#'what thoughts would you have?' CRITICAL HIT AKSHAKA#jace is shaking in excitement to send a dragon to war akdjsks NO your mother will lmao#nevermind YOUR GRANDMA!!!#jace is going to explode#sunfyre looks so good omg bumping aegon and everything akdhaks so cute.....#RHAENYS CROWN!!!!!#aemond and aegon.... jesus christ....#not again#oh HE MAD!!!#goddamn vhagar is so big#sunfyre..... omg#AEMOND WHAT A BITCH#GET THHEM MELEYS!!! YOU ARE YOUNGER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!#CRISTON DOWN!!! VAHGAR STOMP!!#rhaneys need to burn down as many men as she can bc she cant take on aemond... burn them all and flee my queen#OMG MELEYS!!!!!! AND RHAENYS!!!!!#IS AEGON DEAD??? OMG SUNFYRE CURLED UP AROUND HIM......#goddamn... chills#talking tag#watching hotd#alicent told you to stay put!!!!
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a relationship so terrible you end up questioning your entire sexuality and everything about yourself
#i think i’m genuinely still upset about our ex (i say our because he was dating five separate people)#not even ‘i think’ — i KNOW i’m still upset.#and it’s making me wonder why i keep turning to emotionally unavailable masc people who VERY#clearly are trying to take advantage of me and very clearly demonstrate the fact that they will not be there in the way they should be#because in the moment of those Times i find myself giving people the benefit of the doubt in the way i wish people would give me the benefit#of the doubt. and i find myself forgiving them because that’s how love should be.#but i’m forgiving them for things that are so unforgivable that when i look back on it…. i get upset and angry and want to defend myself and#tell them that what they did is wrong. and they should apologize for it and own up to their shit.#but i know they never will and then i feel like i’m standing in front of my parents begging them to see me and hear me out and treat me -#like they should. i find myself repeating cycles that shouldn’t even exist all because i love. i love and i forgive and i trust and i give#and i confide in people who make themselves seem trustworthy#just so they can get their fresh hit of dopamine from someone new. and i feel like they mean it.#until i look back again and see that it’s all the same. every time. it’s the same thing when i read between the lines of their messages.#i’m not even just talking about one person. it kept happening and i’m always left feeling like i did something wrong because#i just wanted them to love me. and i loved them. or i could’ve loved them in a very real way.#i never know if they leave because they’re not interested or if i’m too much or if they were TOO interested.#i don’t know. but i’m still mad. i’m upset.#perpetually pouting.#if you care.#still gay as fuck obviously. just routinely questioning if i even like men. idk idk idk.#h.txt
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