#go follow nyo rn

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? ��💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this��from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[auroracalisto]

ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ

started: 24 june 2020 last updated: 29 october 2020 see what I will write for here want to submit a request?  do it here (:

THIS MASTERLIST WILL NOT BE UPDATED AS OF 18 NOVEMBER 2020.  FIND MY NEW MASTERLIST HERE!

☼ BIRDS OF PREY ☼

roman sionis

Roman’s Girl┆first chapter of multiple┆Roman Sionis gets what he wants. And when he sets his eyes on you, a girl ten or more years his junior, he’ll get you. Lucky for him, despite your shy and flustered nature, you want him just as much as he wants you.

married life┆short┆the two were always at it—now, the reader was in the middle of it. harley doesn’t care for roman, but she wouldn’t dare hurt you. hell, she would kidnap you—and that’s how you ended up here.

hormones and clubs┆one-shot┆the reader is pregnant and begs roman for a chance to go to his club before she goes into labor.  it doesn’t exactly go how she’d like it to go.  

☼ CRIMINAL MINDS ☼

emily prentiss

i love you┆short┆based on the quote “do you still love me?”

my everything┆requested┆by @millipop18​: Hi! I love what you write! Could I request a emily prentiss x reader where she comforts the reader who’s struggling with depression? Have a nice day, much love xxx

spencer reid

not alone, never alone┆requested┆ by @amy-de-l-abc​.  The request was quite long, but the jist of it was having a suicidal reader, but one who isn’t quite able to do anything.  She and Reid start out as friends but the ending will have them getting together.  Fluff on Reid’s part, as he comforts her when she is feeling down.  Reader also feels like she can’t depend on her therapist or her family, and unfortunately, not even a suicide hotline will help (in a very negative way, which is purely for this story’s purpose).  

empty hearts┆short┆in which the reader tries to get spencer to talk to them, but he’s just not listening. 

useless goodbye┆short┆the reader dies right in front of spencer. 

moon and back┆requested┆by @petrichor-ds.  “i loved you to the moon and back, you know.” for spencer when he’s comforting his SO who has been ~going through it~ w depression ??

jack-o’-lantern┆short┆where you carve pumpkins with spencer and he tells you how carving pumpkins became a thing.

derek morgan

something extra┆one-shot┆where you’ve been married to morgan and now you’re expecting your second child (with a little extra surprise).  the team decides to throw you a baby shower.

baby kicks┆requested┆by anon.  hiii, don’t know if ur taking requests rn. but if you are, i would love if you could do an imagine with derek morgan, where the reader is in her 7 or 8th month of pregnancy. and the team is out on the field and the baby kicks and everyone gets so excited, but especially morgan because that’s literally his baby? 

☼ GOTHAM ☼

victor zsasz

forever until the end┆first chapter of multiple┆the reader is falcone’s long lost daughter whose mother fled to washington after an argument got out of hand. she was raised in an abused home where if she even mentioned her unknown father, she would be hurt. a couple of months after turning twenty-one, she’s beaten to the point she packs her things in the middle of the night and leaves. she does everything she can to get to gotham, even going as far as stealing a car. in gotham, she, fortunately, meets her father, along with a man named victor zsasz who was given the assignment of keeping the reader safe while she gets used to the city. zsasz has never dreaded a job more, but he ends up surprising even himself when he begins to like the reader.

imagines:

you being done with victor’s shit.

☼ HAIKYUU!! ☼

sugawara koshi

grey┆one-shot┆you had always wondered why the stripe of color on your wrist was grey. moving to a new school in the miyagi prefecture, you find out exactly why.

rest of my life┆short┆what sugawara would say if you ever asked him if you could spend the rest of your life with him.

tsukishima kei

it’s you┆one-shot┆after watching Avengers: Endgame, you meet your soulmate for the first time.

ukai keishin

Unanticipated┆one-shot┆the reader is an English teacher at Karasuno, who lived in the United States for much of her life. Never did she think she would meet her soulmate; at the age of twenty-four, she had yet to find them. Yet, one day, after a day of teaching, her friend Takeda asked her if she would come to the boy’s volleyball club meeting. She did. To her surprise, she remembered how much she loved volleyball and actually found her soulmate in that very gym.

aone takanobu

jackets┆short┆where aone points out that you have something on your shirt and he gives you his jacket.  

preferences 

how you meet includes hinata, kuroo, oikawa, tsukishima, sugawara, and ukai

☼ HARRY POTTER ☼

draco malfoy

sick┆one-shot┆where draco comes to join you in the common room, coughing his head off. 

☼ HETALIA ☼

russia

birthday surprise┆one-shot┆no one seemed to like Ivan.  except for you and the children where you worked.  with his birthday going unnoticed by your coworkers, you decided to call Natalia up and make it possible for them to celebrate, only asking for friendship in return. 

2p! nyo! america

pissy proposal┆one-shot┆Emily’s worried that you’re going to leave her.  You make sure she knows that she’s the only one for you.  

2p! russia

scared┆short┆our dear reader is pregnant.  and she’s really nervous about telling viktor.

america

cute neighbor┆short┆alfred ran out in just his underwear after the fire alarm went off.  you luckily had a blanket to spare.  

☼ LUCIFER ☼

lucifer morningstar

willpower┆one-shot┆lucifer really doesn’t understand your motives.  he tries to figure it out.  platonic lucifer x reader. 

necessary goodbye┆one-shot┆where the reader loves lucifer, but he’s in love with detective decker.

necessary realization┆requested┆pt. two of necessary goodbye, where the reader is engaged and she brings lucifer her wedding invitation.  after she leaves to return to her hotel room for that weekend, he comes after her. 

imagines:

lucifer preparing to show you his true face.

marcus pierce/cain

poisoned words┆one-shot┆where the reader is in love with pierce and they go undercover together.  reader is poisoned and she goes to the hospital.  after coming back, she tries to talk to pierce about how she feels.  he shoots her down.  i promise, there is a somewhat fluffy end to this.

uncanny resemblance┆requested┆you like the lieutenant.  you cannot figure him out.  it leads to a home invasion and your uncanny resemblance to a string of victims for anything to happen between the two of you.

amenadiel

lost and found┆one-shot┆the reader’s child, leo, gets lost and goes to the police department.  amenadiel and lucifer are there and leo goes straight to amenadiel.  

ella lopez

nerd basket┆requested┆being ella’s significant other is always filled with geeky questions and gifts.  for your anniversary, she has more questions than you anticipated for your early anniversary gift.  

☼ SUPERNATURAL ☼

crowley

fading┆one-shot┆The reader doesn’t know what to do with their self after Crowley dies, right in front of them.  There’s nothing that they can do except grieve.  

sam winchester

imagines

you hate when Sam says, “All Hallow’s Eve.”

☼ THE AVENGERS ☼

steve rogers

101┆first chapter of three┆steve finally meets his soulmate at the ripe age of 101.  his soulmate is 24 and good friends with peter parker. 

tony stark

shut up, stark.┆short┆tony stark is arguably the reader’s best friend, despite the constant jokes.  he would give anything to help the reader with their constant anxiety. 

stephen strange

birthday plans┆short┆It’s Stephen’s birthday.  Tony called and said he was having a cookout.  But you need to make sure Stephen and your little girl, Rosa, are ready for the event itself.

peter parker

liability┆one-shot┆somehow, the reader is in a predicament that only Spider-man can save them from.  But just a couple seconds of Peter not paying attention literally cost them their life.  

stalker┆short┆where the reader is being followed and peter comes to the rescue.  

imagines

peter loves halloween and among us, a little too much.

natasha romanov

cute┆short┆about natasha calling you cute.

loki laufeyson

a little crush┆short┆in where loki is suuuper vulnerable.  fluffy. 

imagines

loki doesn’t like midgard holidays. 

bucky barnes

cynophobia┆short┆where you’re afraid of dogs and it takes bucky to save you from one trapped in your apartment.  

☼ THE LORD OF THE RINGS ☼

samwise gamgee

conceal, don’t feel┆short┆in which samwise doesn’t return your feelings.

☼ THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY ☼

diego hargreeves

replaceable┆one-shot┆in which diego loves lila, you love diego, and you witness the death of your best friend, elliot.  

klaus hargreeves

back to the future┆short┆in which you are in love with klaus.  he returns the feelings, but unfortunately for you, he does not want you coming to 2019 with him and his siblings.  

allison hargreeves

imagines

cuddling with allison.

☼ THE VAMPIRE DIARIES ☼

series:

for the love of you┆the reader is summoned by bonnie, on accident, to the world of the mikaelsons.  as confused as she is, she comes to realize that not only has she found her soulmate, she’s found four soulmates.  PART ONE PART TWO┆more coming soon

elijah mikaelson

The Soulmate Principle┆one-shot┆Dear Prince Elijah should have just left you alone. But with the Soulmate Principle, he just couldn’t help himself. And it just so happened to cost you your life.

hugs and kisses┆requested┆Hello! Can I request an Elijah x reader one shot; just fluff with lots of kisses and cuddles? Btw, love your blog ^^ — Anon

could you be?┆one-shot┆It’s been on Elijah’s mind for some time.  Would you feel the same way?  Would you want him for the rest of your life?  

ocean’s beauty┆one-shot┆Klaus, of course, the traveller he is, decides to take everyone along with him.  You’re a human and you’re married to Elijah.  Oh, and your ship’s hit an iceberg in the middle of the Atlantic—and it’s sinking quickly. 

kiss of life┆one-shot┆polyamorous reader in a relationship with elijah, klaus, and kol has died.  however, she comes back in a revenge plot by a witch who lost her wife due to klaus.  

injury┆short┆where you are injured and elijah takes care of you.  

glitter┆short┆based off of the song glitter, by patrick droney.  the reader is dead, but not entirely gone.  elijah doesn’t know this.

choose me┆one-shot┆elijah has been a bad boyfriend, in the sense that he’s always gone and never takes into consideration how that makes you feel.   

surprise parties┆requested┆Hii! If the bingo requests are still open can you do a one shot of elijah x reader with the birthday prompt it can be like rebekah throwing a birthday party for the reader or just like elijah fluff, up to you <33 — anon

she will be loved┆requested┆Hi! Can I please request an (platonic) Elijah x 3-4 year old fem!child oneshot where when Elijah went to Mystic Falls (when he needed Elena) and when he’s walking, he hears crying and finds her alone on the streets. I’m sure his heart would absolutely break at the sight and he would do anything he can to help calm her down. He obviously wouldn’t leave her on the streets, deciding right then and there that he wants to adopt her, so he brings her home with him. Omggg he would be such a soft (and veryyy protective) dad and all of the Mikaelsons (once they were undaggered) would love her so much 🤧  (Also Elijah would absolutely lose it if the Mystic Falls gang ever brought Y/n into any of the drama) — @kpopgirlbtssvt

a welcome arrangement┆requested┆Hi! If requests are open, could I request an Elijah x Reader where the reader is a vampire and long time friend to the Mikaelson's, and Rebekah and the others try to set her up with Elijah because they know they both like each other? I love your writing!! 💕 — anon

imagines

you adopt a child with Elijah.

klaus mikaelson 

you’re safe now┆one-shot┆the reader leaves the mystic grill with the intent of going home. instead, something distracts her and she’s attacked. her soulmate is the one who saves her life. crazily enough, it’s the same guy who she was staring at just moments earlier.

pretend boyfriend┆short┆ reader is being watched by some creepy guy at the mystic grill. she asks dear klaus to pretend to be her boyfriend.

which disney princess are you?┆short┆Klaus walks in on you taking a Which Disney Princess Are You? quiz on Buzzfeed.  Color him intrigued.  

heather┆short┆in where the reader is in love with klaus, but he loves heather.

endearment┆short┆klaus is in love with you.  but he doesn’t know if you return the feelings. 

kiss of life┆one-shot┆polyamorous reader in a relationship with klaus, elijah, and kol has died.  however, she comes back in a revenge plot by a witch who lost her wife due to klaus.  

forgotten lifetimes┆one-shot┆reader has dementia and has forgotten her children on multiple occasions.  now, she’s forgetting klaus.  

writer’s block┆short┆where the reader is suffering from writer’s block and klaus comforts the reader so they don’t get upset because of it.

silent treatment┆requested┆hi, can you please write an imagine with klaus mikaelson? his gf calls him by one of her close friend’s name (that he don’t like bc he’s possessive like that) and he gives her the silent treatment — anon

one night stands, and then some┆requested┆hi! i just wanted to say that i love your blog! i have a request, for a klaus mikaelson drabble/imagine. where the reade had a one night stand with him (instead of hayley) and now she’s pregnant. whatever else you want to do with that! thank you! ❤️  — @mikaelson-emma

a bolt from the blue┆one-shot┆the reader has recently moved from colorado and finds one of her first cases on the job to be a dead doctor, invited to a ball held by the mikaelsons.  she goes, expecting to find the killer, but instead, she finds that two of the mikaelsons have fallen for her—klaus and rebekah.  

kol mikaelson

take a hint┆requested┆can you do a kol mikaelson one where Caroline is distracting Klaus and she brought the reader with her so she could distract kol? maybe it can be based on the song take a hint from victorious? i’ve listened to it and thought it would be funny and cute! thank you! — @mikaelson-emma

family game night┆one-shot┆where you play Monopoly with the Mikaelson’s and the youngest finds out he’s developed a little crush.

kiss of life┆one-shot┆polyamorous reader in a relationship with kol, klaus, and elijah has died.  however, she comes back in a revenge plot by a witch who lost her wife due to klaus.  

tell me a lie┆short┆loosely based off the quote, “my favorite lie was, ‘i love you.’”  definitely not happy.  reader was cheated on. 

forsaken hearts┆short┆kol doesn’t love you.  what’s his reason?

talks of mortality┆one-shot┆about you trying to talk kol into taking the cure, but he doesn’t want to listen to what you have to say.  

truth or dare┆one-shot┆after a game of truth or dare, you reveal to your friends and siblings that you’re dating kol mikaelson.  

times of change┆short┆an argument between kol and the reader.

imagines

kol pisses you off

rebekah mikaelson

pesky┆short┆using the sentence prompt, “can someone kill him again?”

a bolt from the blue┆one-shot┆the reader has recently moved from colorado and finds one of her first cases on the job to be a dead doctor, invited to a ball held by the mikaelsons.  she goes, expecting to find the killer, but instead, she finds that two of the mikaelsons have fallen for her—rebekah and klaus.  

imagines

rebekah reveals how she truly feels.

damon salvatore

Closure┆one-shot┆a year has passed since Damon and the reader broke up. Damon was with Angie, the reader was a depressed shell of herself. A drunken three AM phone call is exactly what it takes for the reader to get some closure.

by your side┆requested┆Can I get a fluff fic of either Elijah Mikaelson or Damon Salvatore where the reader is going through a rough time (depressive episode) and they comfort reader through it? 😔  — anon

stefan salvatore

only time will tell┆requested┆a stefan soulmate au — @123cvcz 

lovelorn hearts┆requested┆heyyy, can i request a angst fic where reader is damon’s best friend and stefan has a huge crush on her, she overhears damon teasing him about it which leads to his confession, but she’s unsure if she feels the same way and he gets his heart broken all over again? (after elena) thanks, your writing is lovely. — @xoxosinister

miscellaneous 

imagines:

hope hearing stories about you.

☼ X-MEN ☼

charles xavier

happiest year┆one-shot┆although the reader loves charles—although she makes sure he knows that she would do anything for him, he throws it all away. the reader leaves and moves on with her life.

erik lehnsherr

embarrassing moments┆requested┆BROOOOOOO i didn’t know you wrote for the x men … could i please request smth w erik?? smth with mutual pining ~~~ maybe reader is an awkward mutant who’s insecure and can’t talk to erik ……. bro the erik thirst has been REAL recently — @petrichor-ds

sparks fly┆requested┆reader is a cheerful mutant w some sort of electricity ability, and she’s bright until erik comes around.  then she’s removed, quiet, and reserved.  charles has had enough and pairs them up to do training demos tgt (electricity overlaps w magnetism a bit) and then ~romantic tension~ and then reader finally confesses to him after he’s like “why r u so nervous????” — @petrichor-ds

☼ THE 100 ☼

bellamy blake

imagines:

you’re left behind at mount weather, instead of gina.  

[whrejanlstays]

What Kept Me Going (Blogging);

Writing (in any form through daily journals, online blogging, or noted through my phone) keeps me sane. Blogging has been part of my life for more than 8+ years now. I have been sharing all my what-nots, important events and people closest to my life here. It became a therapy for me, yes that beneficial for me, to share my thoughts here, rather than spoken words.

Little did I know that in this little wide world we all have, my safe haven have turned to touch few lives and good souls. I have hoped to hold on dreams full of positivity and faith; and, to live a life full of content, happiness, love and grace. And I wish to spread them all here and to everyone.

To you, my dear, who have been, in any way or another, have been part or have read even a bit of my life or post here, I hope I had at the very least, touched that positive side of you and have hopefully, inspired you. Keeping some of the words of positivity and inspiration I received from great writers and minds, too. I am humbled and even more inspired to keep that fire burning, share good vibes and keep my blog alive and updated.

• Wow! What a wonderful blogs of yours. • There are always + and - in every situation. Reading your blogs? The + side, I like and enjoy it. I really do! • Grabe ka kasi ate, super galing magblog! 💖 • Nakakatuwa. Pero alam ko ganun ka lang talaga. Sobrang positive mo sa buhay. Nalulungkot ka pa po ba? Hahaha. Kaya naman sa lahat sayo lang ako naka'notification pag may bago kang post. Sobrang natutuwa ko sa mga blogs mo kasama na yung mga english mo. Sobrang galing mo. • Informative blog. Following you. 😘 • Thank you for your last blog post. Im struggling rn because of school, fam issues and financial aspects. Thats really helps. ^_~ • Kayong dalawa ni Lara Murallos. Favorite ko dito sa tumblr. Isang future Atty at Dra. Saya lang talaga mag basa ng post nyo nakakainspire. Sobra. • Twinniecheer, I miss you so muchyyyyy!!!! HUHUHUHUHUHU. I’m so happy when I’m reading your posts and I know youre doing your best in your life!!! You are such an inspiration, twinniecheer!! Yay!! Wiiiiiiiiih~ I love you. Happy new year!!!! • Ibang klase yung positivity mo plus a really good heart. Really hope na marami ka pang ma share at ma inspire.

My heart is full to have received these kind of messages from the past months and from my not-so-regular updates on how my life have been, recently. Except for the few snapshots that I post about my Clerkship (more posts to come about this!!!). Thank you, all, for inspiring and motivating me as well. To more memories to share and thoughts to write this year, yes? My #RoadtoMD continues, know me more at #fatejanelle through my #photofolio or #janlwillgoplaces, keep #forthesakeoflove and let’s altogether #findmeaninginlife, every single day!!! :)

[imagine-aph-everything-blog]

Can you please do yandere axis headcanons ❤️❤️❤️

yandere, 2p and nyo are like my favorite things to write for tbhalso i'm sorry i didn't do spain? i dunno why but i just don't feel him for yandere au rnItaly Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas)- He keeps his sweet and bubbly exterior around even his crush. He loves to use his dumb and silly pickup lines around them all the time- He's not one to question his feelings. Trust me. - He's gonna give them cute gifts later on into their friendship- He's not the worst stalker of them all- So he'll leave gifts on their doorstep once he knows where they live- In order to kidnap them he'll invite them over and proceed from there. - He most likely uses chloroform. He doesn't want to hurt them, but at the same time he can't put up with a fight as well as others can. - He doesn't chain them up or anything. Instead he leaves them locked up in a room with no windows, but a comfy bed and its own bathroom, dresser, closet etc- Speaking of which he'd find out their clothing size and fill the closet with clothes that match their taste- Overall, he'd try and make his place as comfy for a hostage as possible. He won't hurt them for no reason but he can and will get physical and psychological - However physical punishment is something he'll save for when they make an attempt to escape. He may use psychological torture at any given time, but he's so sweet his love may not even know what he's trying to do. Italy Romano (Lovino Vargas)https://imagine-aph-everything.tumblr.com/post/158499381472/yandere-romano-relationship-headcanonsGermany (Ludwig Beilschmidt)https://imagine-aph-everything.tumblr.com/post/158785151467/yandere-germany-headcanonsPrussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt)https://imagine-aph-everything.tumblr.com/post/158488460362/yandere-prussia-relationship-headcanons-pleaseJapan (Kiku Honda)- he's like that cringey game Yandere Simulator (kudos to the creator though, programming takes a lot of trial and error and I know he has to put up with a lot of bullshit)- He's able to follow them around really well. He's a quiet and stealthy person. - Like the rest he leaves gifts. However they may not be to his love's liking. He is a degenerate like I've said many times- he may give them 'toys', 'outfits' and... 'exotic pets' with notes telling them to enjoy themselves and that he's watching- Seriously though he probably is watching and observing their every action- How he kidnaps them, nobody knows. - He probably uses white torture with them where he locks them up in a cushioned white room while they're wearing white. He only feeds them white rice on a white plate from a white utensil only wearing white- It's like that for a while. Then he probably treats them like a pet- and not necessarily in a cute way. He sees them as, well, inferior to him. He'll actually like, collar em up and maybe lock em in a cage at night. Loves to dress them up in those 'outfits'- He's gonna get sexual with his punishments- Once they've warmed up to him and love him he keeps the collar and loves to dress them up still, but allows them normal clothes if they wish- Should they escape (he goes above and beyond- locks, alarms, cameras, tracking devices etc etc) he's going to have his way with him and maybe even get one of his tentacle monster 'pets' involved.

[desertbl00m]

SNK OC profile (this is hella long, let me tell you now)

Thanks to @misa-misa-chi for giving me the link for this template: https://alicecantbestopped.deviantart.com/art/Attack-On-Titan-Blank-OC-Sheet-400915409. 

It’s mad detailed and kinda forces you to think hard about who your oc is (kinda). So here’s mine-it’s by no means complete but whilst giving away as little as possible, i think there’s enough to get an idea about Nina’s character:

Name: Nina Were Meaning: Strong, graceful dreamer (not much of one, tho) Age: Almost 20 Gender: Female Birthday: 17th May Birthplace: Base metropolis, somewhere in the southern region of the Alpha-continent. Relationship Status: Single af (she is not good at relationships) Language(s) spoken: au variations of eight European languages, few words of au Japanese and her own native tongue Life-Long Dream: To build a plane and fly off the continent/ around the world Goal(s): Stay alive and get out Like(s): Sleeping, flying, milk, horses, machinery, rain and water in general           Dislike(s): Secrecy/ Deceit, Liars, people who don’t value what they have, the cold, arrogance, black tea, unneeded self-exertion, being talked down to, being touched,                                                                                                            Bad Habit(s): Endless sleeping, eating without chewing, skiving, tunes out a lot, will ignore you completely if she becomes mentally preoccupied/she thinks you’re talking rubbish, chews and gnaws on things to ward off hunger (even when there’s no need), walking around barefoot, popping her joints in and out. Hobbies: tinkering, drawing, cloud-watching, agriculture Fear(s): not knowing what’s going on, people suffering because of her, weakness Personality: (ISTP) seems quiet and unassuming but is in reality brash and upbeat. She can be very blunt and untactful but has an uncanny understanding of people once she gets talking with them. Is actually quite thoughtful and can pick up on true intentions and character very quickly. Has a quick and terrible temper-has a very short fuse except with people she knows well. Even though she gets on with most, she isn’t particularly sociable and keeps to herself mostly. Highly independent and doesn’t respond well to authority-doesn’t like following orders without good reason. Very impulsive, entirely self-driven and can be hard-headed. Is neither a team-player nor a leader-wouldn’t call her a lone wolf either. She’s like a delinquent? Prone to being wild and takes crazy risks. Cannot turn down a challenge. She relies heavily on her own instincts but will listen to and evaluate advice for herself if she thinks the giver has good enough wits. Surprisingly cynical and in rare moments is a real downer-slightly pessimistic.

Favourites Food(s): Sugary food, Milk, Cinnamon-flavoured anything Color(s): Blue, Gold and Green Season(s): Spring (summer’s is good too) Activities: Riding, doing tricks with 3D m-gear, tight-roping Time of Day: Midday-it’s the warmest Appearance- Height:156 cm Weight: varies greatly without almost no visible indication depending how much she eats; she often weighs a lot less/a lot more than she looks (from 47 to 70 kg) Hair style: curly and cropped short fn Hair Color: White, like a wee gran Eye Color: Amber-orange Skin Tone: Tan-brown, yellow/gold and blush undertones Body Shape/Build: Petite, short torso, hips are large in proportion to her body. Legs well built. Birth Marks: Nothing spectacular Scar(s): childhood scar on foot. There is more to be said but aargh spoilers Other: She generally has a sleepy or spaced out/ blank expression on her face Health- Memory (any issues with this?): She has photographic and Selective autobiographical memory-often means she can’t forget past trauma. Her cousin taught her a coping mechanism-‘the box’ where she shuts unwanted memories away. Sight (do you need glasses?): the opposite-vision is perfect and can see fairly well in the dark Mental (Any problems? Example: depression): Has bouts of confusion and withdrawal when she gets flashbacks of her past life. Physical (Do you take care of your body or harm it? Also include injuries): She stretches extensively and several times a day. Suffers from hyper mobility syndrome and sometimes gets joint pains. She would never voluntarily work out though. Forgets to eat a lot. Low stamina. Sleep patterns (how you sleep and how much rest do you get?): She could easily sleep through two straight days if you let her-she can’t get enough of it. Often falls asleep when she’s bored/ in the middle of training and other odd times which she can’t explain Allergies/Other: Nope

Abilities/Statistics (1- lowly skilled, 10- highly skilled and tell why) This is going to be hard-Nina’s performance really doesn’t fit into categories this easily. It also depends if she’s using her sword or using the standard two blades of the 3Dmg 3D Manoeuvring Gear: 8 once she got the hang of it Intelligence: 8-she has high awareness and knows what needs to be done almost instantly but often doesn’t use everything she gleans from a situation. Also doesn’t think of the bigger picture until a bit later. In terms of book work-if she wants to get something, she won’t stop until she’s an expert in that field. Not a classroom learner and isn’t bookish Martial Arts: 9-weak points are like magnets to her and she exploits the hell out of them. Fighting style is similar to Capoeira and good old street brawl. she tires easily though and aims to end fights quickly. Battle Skill: 10-she was top pre-combatant back home (I would say more but spoilers). Excels at ground and internal combat.(this is when using her sword-she is much less proficient with two, smaller blades about a 7) Agility: 8-10 (in terms of flexibility it’s gold, reflexes are sharp too) Strategy: 5-8 depending on her mind-set in the moment. Teamwork: 1 atm (she is awful, absolutely terrible with teamwork-been like this from childhood. I don’t know how to describe this-it isn’t arrogance or just foolhardiness-she’s really that impulsive and can’t think outside her own field of combat- it’s just a part of who she is.) Passion: this can be rock-bottom or 7ish- again depends on her motivation at the time. (she’s not passionate persay-dealing with titans is very matter of fact to her-get rid of them so you can get out) Affiliation: hmm…I sense spoilers Former Affiliation: Base Hunter Status (Alive, Missing, etc.): She alive

Relationships- Parent(s): Maxim Were and Nyo Alam Sibling(s): None Other Relative(s): Cousin-Lindia Were fn Love Interest: LOL Best Friend(s): Isach Hosef and Kiito Wep Friend(s): Nor and Kago Enemy(ies): no one rn (sometimes the whole world) Hero(es): nu-uh, she’s not idealistic like that but she did admire her father Rival(s):we shall see

This may or may not be updated…idk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Template made by AliceCantBeStopped on DeviantArt

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x21 recap

(Aka the one where Sandstorm takes the NYO)

So it’s been like five days and I’m still screaming internally over how FREAKIN AMAZEBALLS this episode was. Tbh if I didn’t have to make sure I survive to see the finale, I probably would have died already. Like seriously, this show is 100% back to its old self, and with a VENGEANCE. Thank god for a guaranteed season three...

Anyhow, more screaming below the cut. 

Aaaahhh nooo my babies, please stop, I mean I know siblings are meant to fight but not like this!! And ughhhh he's really actually trying with the whole killing her thing but tbh I'm kinda proud that Jane still wins? Our girl is the Warrior Queen, no one can defeat her. Not even when she’s pulling her punches like she is now. And ugh she knocks him out just as the detail gets in there-- you seriously need to work on your response time, dudes, though I guess it's good you weren't any earlier or you would have probably shot Roman which would have been completely unacceptable. But ugh he's regained all his memories from this fight, and now knows everything she's done... ughhhhh my baby boy please just think things through, because she really truly loooooves youuuuu. I swear. Also wow his biceps look amazing in this shirt? Ugh but then Jane comes to see him in the now-spartan cell (I guess all his stuff went with him to the safehouse) and ugh she’s all cautious and worried and ughhhhh he literally hates her and no matter what she says he just thinks it's more lies-- and tbh I feel like between this and the whole Emma thing with Weller, Jane is going to be 100% honest for the rest of her life bc she's already experienced too much pain due to lies. But ughhh I don't think I'll ever get over how much Luke just nails Roman's anger and pain??? The prowly way he walks, the deadness in his eyes as he tells her that the more he remembers, the more he hates her?? And then just turns his back on her and ughhhhhh my poor babieeeeesss let me hug you bothhhhhhh. Surely Roman must think about things and realise she was genuine, though? Although I guess he feels kinda like Weller did when it was revealed Jane wasn't Taylor; that just because part of it was a lie, everything must have been. And ughhh my baby is so heartbroken and walks out into the corridor and ugh Weller is right there waiting for her. I bet he escorted her down there in the first place and ugh man I wish we'd gotten to see when he first got there and was briefed on what happened? Like how terrifying must it have been for him to get that call, to think that Jane had nearly been killed by the man that HE had sent home with her? And at the same time he would be devastated for her bc I bet she was literally in shock as she robotically explained what happened and he could already see how much this was going to destroy her. And so when she comes out, he's still hovering there, waiting-- like I guarantee he was ready to go in and pull her out if it all sounded like it was getting too much. And now he stares at her with his big sad eyes and tells her how sorry he is, and then she tells him it's his and Nas' fault, and for a moment he looks like he wants to argue, but he also understands that she needs somewhere to place some of her blame (because god knows she's already shouldering enough of it herself) and so he doesn't try to defend himself, bc he knows she's not wrong. If she needs to blame him, he'll let her. He’ll help her in any way he can. But when her voice breaks as she insists that Roman could still be useful, he knows he has to be tough, and tells her that Roman's dose is wearing off and he's reverting to who he was. He needs Jane to accept that now, before her hope slowly kills her. But ugh it must be slowly killing HIM to see her upset like that and yet not reach for her?? I feel like he was seriously about to do just that when his phone buzzed about Pellington. Ugh, they never get a damn moment alone...

Oohh Zapata has rocked up in the lab, and uh-oh, I bet she's about to embark on her little crusade to break Parker by breaking the rules. And then ooh Reade's there, awkwardly ducking in to say hi since they already saw him going past and he couldn't very well ignore them haha. And Patterson's so happy to see him and so supportive and then he tells them that he put in for a transfer??? What???? And oh god Zapata's face just drops and ugh it's clear he didn't mention this at all last night and nooooo all she asks is how long he'll be at the new position and the answer is FOREVER and ughhhhh she just looks like she just got sucker punched and nooooo Reade you can't gooo! We need the dream team together!!! 

Aaaahhhh Pellington is shutting down Jane's case (again), both the tattoos and Sandstorm-- and Weller looks like he's barely keeping himself in check, which explains why he looks to Jane to steady him, and okay firstly I love that she's actually in here too?? Like I thought this was going to be a meeting just between the Big Boys, but lbr Weller and Jane are kind of a package deal again nowadays haha. And then Pellington says they're going to put a public face to Sandstorm-- Shepherd, AND Roman. Which means that literally every law enforcement officer in the country will be hunting them both. Shit. And he seems undecided about what he's going to do with Jane-- hold on, so, what? You're going to ignore all she's done for the team and turn your back on her? Maybe throw her in jail? And ugh she doesn't even seem to care about her own precarious fate, she just tries to convince him not to turn on Roman, and then she literally starts shouting at him, making Weller panic a little bit bc honey please don't piss off the man who could have you thrown behind bars with the wave of his hand-- but it's kinda lucky (and also unlucky) that she does, bc when she tells Pellington that Roman's regaining his memories, that actually changes his mind. Which is great in that Roman won't be one of the targets of Sandstorm... but terrible bc Pellington now wants him to go to the CIA for 'acceleration of his recall'. Yeah, we all know what that means. And then Pellington is outta there and ughhhh Jane literally begs Weller to help Roman and ughhhh he knows there's nothing they can do and he is hurting for his wifey and wow these guys are having a really bad start to the day aren’t they

And then Zapata gives them one bright spot--- they have leverage on Parker. Devon's pregnant. Wait actually pregnant tho, or did Zapata make it up and then trick the others so that Parker would believe them? I love that all three of them go into the interrogation room and tag team him (I'm very much ignoring Weller's contribution bc it only reminds me of the whole Allie situation ugh), and ughhh Parker tries to brush it off but Jane convinces him and he tells them about the Sandstorm warehouse, but will only give them the exact location once Devon is safely on a plane to London. I can't tell if he's playing them or not?? And they all know it could be a trap but they've gotta try anyway, so when he gives them the address, Weller and Jane take a bunch of FBI dudes, leaving Zapata to keep interrogating Parker. And ugh as much as I enjoyed the 'let’s split up bc you're the only one I trust' thing last week, I really love seeing them enter side by side, guns up and ready. And ooooh here's the structure that Sandstorm has been building-- is it a replica of the NYO, a la Ocean's 11, like I suggested in a past recap?? Ughhhh it is! God this must be so weird for them and aaaahhh they realise it's a training ground (close, guys, but that’s not all it is) and that they're about to take down the real NYO and aaaahhhhh their signal is being jammed so they can't warn anyone. And then just as they're about to pull out to get back to the NYO, a sniper starts taking out their guys. Weller takes him down though bc remember he's Mr Crack-Shot, and Jane notices a weird red X on the floor in the fake-gym. What does it meaaaaan? 

Meanwhile back at the NYO, a couple of Sandstorm guys have already snuck in disguised as technicians and are doing something nefarious with the power grid. Reminds me of Weller in the prison... Not so fun when the tables are turned, eh? Anyway Reade's with Dr Sun, asking her to clear him psychologically so he can take the transfer. And you know what, she actually seems pretty on the ball right now? "Needing help doesn't preclude you from helping others" like daaaamn that's some wisdom right there. And it's definitely true in my own experience-- you know how many doctors I've met who have mental, emotional, or social issues of their own yet still give their all to help others?? And then ugh when she says that he can go, but he'll still be Edgar Reade when he gets there. And wow I am actually impressed rn? This is a rollercoaster in of itself lol

Ugh Jeller are racing back to the NYO and frantically trying to call anyone inside to warn them but it's all still jammed. Which means the attack has already begun. Weller calls the NYPD to mobilise them for help but argh it may already be too late.  And ugh Pellington walks into the lab to demand all the info they have on Shepherd/Sandstorm and hahaha I love that Patterson's first response is to question whether Weller knows about it, despite Pellington being HIS boss and being able to do whatever he wants regardless of how Weller feels about it. Lbr tho man, literally everyone in the NYO would follow Weller over you if it came down to it. And Patterson is belatedly like 'oh yeah you're actually the boss-boss' and so she’s gonna put it all on a hard drive for him-- but tells him it would actually be quicker if she did the data migration she'd already been planning, and all it would mean is that her servers would be stuck in boot mode for 30mins while it was happening. But then their conversation gets derailed by an official emergency alert, and Patterson brings up footage of the bullpen to see active shooters attacking people. Pellington gives the order for evacuation, and then says he'll join the armed response team and take out the shooters. Wow, I think this is the first time I've actually felt genuine respect for you, sir. Nice. Instead of evacuating, Zapata goes straight for the lab, because of course she does. She knows that that's where Patterson will still be, and she won't leave her girl. And then she sees a glitch in the videofeed, realising that it might have been tampered with-- just as Pellington and the strike force get out into the bullpen, which is completely normal and shooter-free. Awkwaaaard. But because the evacuation protocol was initialised, all the external doors were unlocked, now allowing Sandstorm to come in. And ughhh now it really is a showdown-- Pellington and the FBI vs Shepherd and Sandstorm, and for a moment there's just a bunch of shouting about 'you surrender/no you surrender' then some dumb guy knocks over a coffee cup and all hell breaks loose and everyone is shooting and ughhhh Paterson and Zapata are stuck there watching and Zapata is about to run out to help but Patterson won't let her bc it's literal suicide, and so she does the only thing she can and seals in the Sandstorm peeps. Ughhh. Pellington is crawling for his gun, and the rest of his team are dead or wounded. Shepherd calls him by his first name and tells him that that didn't need to happen-- and okay did these two know each other or something?? Like there was the way he called her 'Major-General' and now her using his first name?? And ugh she demands his access code and I'm actually super impressed that he still won't give in, just tells her she's under arrest, and wow this dude actually has way bigger balls than I gave him credit for? Don't tell me I'm about to start liking him just before he dies?? And ughhhh Patterson and Zapata are still there, stuck watching, as Shepherd kills their agents one by one and ugh the tears running down their faces and ughhhhh on one hand I know that Pellington's refusal means the death of his agents, but still... he's protecting thousands (if not millions) of lives by preventing anyone getting access. I feel like Weller would have done the same, though it would have destroyed him. Though if Shepherd had threatened Jane... then I don't know. Maybe he would have given in. Glad we don't have to find out. And ugh Pellington tells them all that this is how they-- the good guys-- win. By staying strong. By sacrificing themselves for the greater good. And then ughhh Briana stands, and tells her she knows Weller's code, and honestly I can't blame her. She's saving her own life, but also everyone else in the room-- friends, workmates. And I don't think she has quite the understanding of just what Shepherd could do with access to Patterson's lab. Who can really know what they themselves would do when faced with that choice? But ughh I actually feel really sad for Pellington, he knows that they have just failed so many civilians and he tried his best and now he's about to die. Dammit, man, how dare you make me respect you right before you die??? I guess I should also apologise now for always assuming you could be a Sandstorm mole... my bad. And ughhhh Patterson and Zapata are feeling so helpless bc Weller's code overrides Patterson's and now Sandstorm has free access to everywhere-- and is heading right for them. And ughhh I love that they know, they already know that they can't win, that they are just heading for death, but they fight anyway-- Zapata's immediate response is to get guns and go down in a hail of bullets, because of course it is. Patterson fights back in another way-- starting the database migration to slow Shepherd down, utilising one of the only tools they have. And then together, they go to the armoury, even knowing  that one of Shepherd's teams is on their way there right now. Sidenote: screw you, Borden, for giving these guys a full blueprint of this place. You traitorous asshole.

Ughhh Jane's biting her nails and Weller confirms that Sandstorm has the NYO-- maybe even for Phase 2. But the NYO is Weller's kingdom, and he knows it better than anyone. He knows that there's a sub-basement access tunnel from previous construction. He and Jane are gonna save their people or die trying. 

Well, Patterson's delaying tactic has worked, pissing Shepherd off. Also dude, it's 5% complete when she arrives, and Patterson said earlier that it would take about 30mins total to complete. To get to 5% would have taken about a minute and a half, which means that's how close behind Patterson and Zapata Shepherd was. Aaaargh. And now Parker's there, saying that 'Remi' and Weller took Devon to a blacksite. Mmmhmmm, way to cover your butt, Mr Slimy. And ugh Shepherd expected Weller and Jane to be there-- what if they had been?? What was her plan for them?? Nothing good, I’m sure. But haha he says that at least now they won't be a problem. Think again, bucko! Meanwhile Patterson's being problematic enough on her own. I'm so proud. But wait they have targets in four timezones?? What and where??? And so they're about to hunt her down (ugh stay away from my baby) when Parker finds Roman on the screen instead. Ugh, stay away from my other baby!  

Ugh my girls in the armoury with their vests and guns makes me simultaneously so proud and also want to sob. My babies are making their stand. And then the door opens and they nearly shoot the intruder-- but it's just Reade, here to stand with them and defend their home. Patterson explains that Shepherd's after the lab, realising that her computers have access to the Homeland Security servers. Which is very, very bad, for reasons I don't entirely understand but I'll take her word for it. And so she proposes going to the server room so she can try to divert auxiliary power and fry her computers before the migration completes, thus locking Shepherd out. Ugh, the sacrifices my baby is willing to make... those computers are HER babies. And ugh her talking about the chances of it succeeding: "80%... 75%... closer to 60 if I'm being honest." and ughh why must even the humour in this show be heartbreaking? But she doesn't wait for permission; she just goes and the others follow. Tbh without Weller (or Jane, the unofficial next in line) there, Patterson is now the team leader, regardless of actual hierarchy. Lbr, the other two would follow her anywhere.

Idk where Weller found this fire-stick thing but I'm happy he has it. They're breaking into the sub-basement now, and ughhh Jane is so worried about the team and what might have happened to them, and she's beating herself up about lying to Roman and causing him to be in that cell right now, completely vulnerable if Shepherd decides to punish him for his betrayal of her. And Weller tells her that she had to lie, because she knew what he was and was scared of what he'd do if he learned the truth. And he looks up at her as he says it, and hmmm this is interesting, bc Jane only ever lied to Roman bc Weller and Nas made her. She was going to tell him the truth. Now who else has she lied to recently that she only did it bc she was afraid? Ah yes. I remember. Well, good to know that Weller understands her choices and is making it clear to her that he forgives her for them. He needs her to hear it, because he knows that one or both of them could be dead within minutes. Ughhhh. And she worries that if Roman's turning back into Old Roman, then will the same happen to her? Will she turn back into Remi (her greatest fear?) and ugh he promises her that it won't happen and that they'll do everything they can to save Roman along with the others and ughhhh. They've broken into the sub-basement-- ew, it reminds me of Oscar's grimy dungeon-- and then suddenly they spot four Sandstorm guys, and ugh they communicate with hand signals and basically pincer-manoeuvre the dudes and take them out in about two seconds because they're badasses. And that would be great, except the dudes were there guarding a shit-ton of explosives (that's the technical term). Well I guess we know where some of that HMX went? And aaahhh Sandstorm is gonna take down the whole building. Well, shit.

Aaaahhh my lil warrior babies are defending their home by destroying their own servers from within, and ugh the lives of SO MANY people literally rest on their shoulders (specifically Patterson's) rn?? Like holy shit if she doesn't get a message through to the DHS, the other sites will have zero warning of the attacks about to take place. Also ugh I've mentioned before how Patterson is literally one of the most powerful people in the FBI, but this proves it-- with her computers, she possesses access to several other major agencies. Literally if she wanted to, she could cripple the entire country at any time. She could have done exactly what Shepherd is trying to do with just a couple of taps of her screen. And she's what, barely past thirty? Like okay I have a job where I have some small measure of power over life and death, but this kind of scale is HUGE. Patterson literally has the keys to the kingdom handed to her, and could be the world's biggest supervillain-- but instead she protects everyone to the best of her ability, even now, when it may very well lead to her death. No one will ever convince me that Agent Patterson of the New York Office of the FBI is not some kind of cult figure in the world of government agencies. I bet her name has even become a common term for absolutely owning something through skill and ingenuity: "I'm gonna pull a Patterson"/"I'm Patterson-ing this biatch". For real, Shepherd, you have no idea who you're up against...

Weller delicately disassembling the cover of the bomb detonator while Jane stands guard over him with a huge-ass gun is entirely my aesthetic. And then he explains how to disarm it-- I love that he knows this, our boy sure paid attention in class-- and when he tells her he'll need her to do it (because of his giant meat-paws, as Rich lovingly named them), she doesn't hesitate. And then ugh he talks her through it and I love that they're BOTH needed for this. Jane wouldn't have known what to do without him, and he couldn't have physically done it without her. They're two halves of a whole, the perfect partnership. And ugh I love that she trusts him to guide her and he trusts her to be able to do it. And ughhhh he compares it to playing Operation and she's all "Weller this is a terrible analogy I've never played that game" and he's all "c’mon honey you can do anything ilsym babe"* (*paraphrasing). No but actually he's so cute with how he reassures her, using humour to settle her, and ugh the little look she gives him like 'you're such a giant dork and god I love you for it'. But don't worry anyway Jane, I've never played Operation either, and I've assisted in actual operations without any issue. You got this.         

Aaand Shepherd's down with Roman. He's heard all the alarms-- I wonder what he thought was going on? I wonder if he was worried for Jane? But anyway he remembers everything, including Shepherd, and ugh she says that everything she's done she's done for love, and tbh that's true. Love of herself, and her own conviction that she is in the right and everyone else is wrong. Newsflash, lady. Pretty much every terrorist who ever lived thought they were the ones in the right. But ughhhh then she says one of the few things I will give her credit for being right about-- that Roman chose Jane over her. JANE, not Remi, because as she says, Remi is GONE. THANK YOU, psychopath lady. Remi ceased to exist the moment the zip coursed through her system, and lbr, that was likely what she intended all along. I don't know the particulars of how or why, but I firmly believe that by the time Phase 1 & 2 were being developed, Remi lost her faith in Sandstorm, and in herself. I'd like to think it had something to do with her surveillance of Weller, and I hope that someday we'll find out. But the fact remains that in the end, Remi was ready to give her life to the cause. Not to Shepherd's cause; to her own, which was to stop Shepherd and save not only her brother, but Kurt Weller, and the country itself. I strongly believe that if Asshole Oscar hadn't killed Markos, he would have been able to fulfill his side of her plan and tell her everything. Maybe if that had happened, though, Jane would have run off with him to stop Shepherd, and Weller and the team would have continued their lives without her ever being more than a blip in their existence. And regardless of all the bad that came along with her, I'm glad things happened the way they did. (Except the CIA part. Screw you, Keaton.) But anyway ughhhh Roman says he chose Jane bc she wasn't forcing him to choose. She gave him free will and agency, whereas Shepherd always tried to enforce her own agenda. You can see though from the fact that she offers for him to rejoin her, that she's desperate for that connection back, for someone she has a relationship with other than that of Commander and soldier. Family. Well guess what, lady, you could have had a loving family and lived a normal happy life, but instead you chose to be a mass murderer. Forgive me if I don't feel at all sorry for you, you human stain. 

Ughhh someone save me from Weller's whispered 'good, Jane' as she slowly pulls out the detonator pin. He can feel how tense she is (after all, she has both of their lives plus the lives of everyone in the building depending on the steadiness of her hands) and he reassures her, staying right there in front of her-- not crowding her, but reminding her that he's there with her-- and then ugh when she gets it out safely he gives her this approving grin and she lets out this huge breath and rests her head against the block of explosives and ugh these two are literally the cutest. Supportive hubby Weller is one of my fave Wellers tbh. But there's no time to rest-- he's certain there's more bombs, and Jane remembers the red X from the Sandstorm training replica. And ugh they don't even hesitate before throwing themselves straight back into danger to protect everyone and ugh I love them so much

I love how much it upsets Shepherd when she discovers that the sub-basement bomb is now offline. Take that, you evil cow! And then she sees Jane and Weller on the monitors, and it's like that's right biatch, you are being thwarted by your two former favourites. Not only will they never follow you, but they will beat you. And ugh she sends a team to kill them and Roman doesn't look at all comfortable with it. I wonder whether that's because he still loves his sister, or-- as has been suggested by others, including in @gypsyscarfwoman’s amazing fic-- that he feels like he owes a debt to Weller for what he did to Emma. Hopefully a bit of both?? 

Ughhhh back in the server room, Patterson knows that all her computers are now back online, and Zapata tells her to go ahead and surge the lab. And ughh she hesitates, and at first it seems like she's just having trouble facing the thought of killing her computers (her babies), and Reade impatiently tells her they'll get her new ones-- but that's not it. Surging the lab would effectively paint a target on their backs, bringing Sandstorm right to them. If she does it, she basically signs their death warrants. And if the bad guys come quickly, she may not get to complete the surge before they're all killed. And then ughhhhh just let me die bc Zapata looks at Reade and Reade looks at Zapata and then Reade tells Patterson that they'll buy her as much time as they can and Zapata looks at Patterson and gives her a little nod and tells her to start it and ughhhhhhh they know they're about to die and that was their goodbye to Patterson-- a 'we can't save ourselves but maybe we can help you save others' and ughhhhhh my baby manages not to break down and instead gets right down to it, further ruining Shepherd's day when she instantly recognises that Patterson is about to out-manoeuvre her. And ugh Parker's already leading a team their way as Reade and Zapata set up a barricade (Do you hear the people sing??) and ugh this might be their final minutes together and Zapata chooses to give him shit about ditching them for Quantico and basically telling him she does not at all approve haha. And ughhh even as she's giving him a hard time about it she's also reminding him what a good agent he is and ugh I love the love these two have for each otherrrrr

So Jane was right (as she so often is) and the other bomb is in the gym. I love their perfectly coordinated sweep of the room, and then Weller crouching to remove the outer cover of the bomb detonator for her while she checks behind the bomb for any sneaky baddies. Nice. And then he hands over the reins and moves to stand guard over her-- the stakes are higher on this one, since they're no longer in a secluded basement with the enemy team already dead. Right now, they're sitting ducks. Jane gets right to it, now a veteran at this, and Weller only glances over briefly to make sure she's going okay, confident that she can do it but ready to support her if she needs it. All is well-- until they hear the kill-team approaching and know that they're busted. Jane makes the split second decision, with Weller instantly following her orders as she tells him to go, to meet the bad dudes somewhere that is more even territory, tactically speaking, rather than as the proverbial fish in a barrel that they are now. And ugh right now she has her hand in the jaws of death and he's about to walk out into the same when he pauses and says her name, and for a moment they lock eyes and ughhhhh "Don't die."/"You too". And ugh that was so THEM? Like they each refuse to believe that this will be the last time they see each other, and they know that they'll both fight like hell to make sure it isn't, because they've barely even had a chance to start the life they're gonna have together and it sure ain't ending here. And then ugh Weller goes into Super Agent mode, taking out one of the Sandstorm dudes before they even know what hit them, then sprinting across the room and body-slamming two of them at once while shooting the other, only to grab one and use him as a shield before beating the crap out of another, then tackling another and wrestling his gun off of him just in time to kill the one who was about to kill Jane. And ugh poor Jane, she had to focus on steadily removing the detonator even as she could see everything that was happening, knowing that any one of the many gunshots could have found Weller, meaning not only that she would lose the man she loves, but that she'd be left alone and completely exposed. But she manages it, disarming the bomb and looking up at a panting Weller, who is da bomb, tbh. Take that, Shepherd! You sent five men to kill one, and he took them all down. Bam! Ugh and Jane's little 'thanks' is so cute, like omg could you two just freakin' dive into each other's arms already, you know you want to!! I mean, let's not pretend that that little 'don't die' wasn't just a shortened version of 'don't die because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I plan that life to be more like 50 years than just the next 5 minutes'?

~~Will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me? Beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see? Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be freeeeee....~~ Okay yes, I did have to pause my recapping to go listen to some Les Mis because of this. I'm just getting a lot of feels (and literal goosebumps) about these two and their sacrifice, okay?? And ugh Parker's team is on them and bullets are flying and they might be dead any second now and Zapata is still snarking about Quantico (while also crouching in tight jeans and heels wow #iconic), and he snarks back about writing her a recommendation letter and ugh I love these two and the fact they both know that the only way they can cope with this is with sass and ugh save me. And then Patterson fries the system and everything blacks out for a moment, and then the lights come back on they reveal all of the Sandstorm dudes are down. Wait, guys, wait! Havent you heard of a term called 'playing possum'?? I don't care if it seems dishonourable, please shoot the crap out of those bodies before you leave the safety of your barricade! And ughhhhhh they juuuust start to grin at each other, almost believing they really made it, when FREAKIN' SLIMY-ASS PARKER SHOOTS MY BEAUTIFUL BABY. HOW DARE YOU SIR, I ALWAYS SAID DEVON WAS FAR TOO GOOD FOR YOU. And ughhhhh the shock and rage on Reade's face as he fills him with bullets is so intense ughhh. And ugh my baby is only concerned about Reade even while she's bleeding and okay okay at best guess the shot looks like it got her in the shoulder? Which in reality could very easily be deadly but in TV land generally means you'll be just fine (let's not forget that both Jane and Patterson have been shot in the abdomen in the last few months and were in fighting form like 2 days later), so I'm not too worried. But ugh speaking of my other baby Patterson, she's all alone in the dark, frantically dialling DHS to warn them because she needs to save as many people as she can, all while having no idea whether Sandstorm has already killed Reade and Zapata or how much time she herself has left to live. Ughhhhh seriously can I hug her rn bc we both need it

Given that we know how pissed Shepherd gets when things don't go her way, I'm very suspicious of her 'meh' attitude towards her plans being ruined rn. What else does she have in store?? And ugh then she uncuffs Roman (keeping the cuffs tho which feels weird? Maybe she's just into recycling? Or souvenirs?) and then even offers him a gun?? And tells him that staying means being locked up alone in a cell for the rest of his life and noooooooo Roman she's wrong! Jane will fight for you! And ugh the first thing he does is aim the gun at her, and ugh SHOOT HER ROMAN. She doesn't love you, she doesn’t even deny it when you accused her of controlling you your whole life. And ugh she says that losing Remi was an inherent risk of the plan that they all accepted. Yeah, idk about that. I mean I totally believe Shepherd was willing, but I doubt Roman accepted it easily. As for Remi herself, well, I already said that I believe she went into it with the hope of coming out as someone new, hoping for the chance to finally become the person she should have been, instead of the one Shepherd warped her into. I think Jane's dream was wrong. I don't think, if her two selves could meet in a dream, that Remi would see Jane and try to kill her, to take back over. Instead, she would just look at her with tears in her eyes and whisper 'thank you'. And then she would look behind Jane, where dream-Weller and Dream-Roman are standing, and she would tell her to take care of them. And then she'd close her eyes and fade away, at peace at last. Because she'd spent her whole life as a prisoner of who she was, and it was only in letting herself be erased and replaced that she could finally be free at last. 

But anyhow that's speculation for another time. With her warning given, Patterson has raced out of the server room to find her friends, initially relieved and then panicked as she sees Reade crouching over Zapata. And ugh she races back to radio for help. And ugh she must just want to collapse in a sobbing heap when she hears Weller's voice and discovers that he and Jane are in the building. Mom and Dad are here. They'll fix everything. The kids have done their best, and now they get to hand over the responsibility to the grownups. And ugh speaking of family bonds, Roman steps out into the hall right in front of Jane and Weller, and she immediately drops her gun, looking as stunned to see him as he is to see her. And then he raises his gun and shoots right at them-- or does he?? Like yes, Weller immediately shoves Jane through a doorway and to safety, but how did Roman, trained sharpshooter, not hit them with either of the shots he got off before that?? Because he WASN'T AIMING FOR THEM. He aimed wide, just enough to look like he was trying to kill them, while actually sending them into cover before Shepherd could fire at them. He knew his side outnumbered theirs, and so did the only thing he could to protect them without having to turn on Shepherd and try to kill both her and her men. He and Shepherd flee into Borden's office while Weller and Jane take out the last of the Sandstorm guys, joined moments later by their own backup team (better late than never, guys, tho lbr these two badasses don’t really need you). And ugh she tells Weller that they won’t surrender, and the understanding passes between them that this will be shooting to kill. He locks his eyes with hers, and tells her to take Shepherd.Her unsteady breath and tiny 'thanks' kills me. He would never make her kill her own brother, and we all know that he's going to do whatever he can not to kill Roman either. And she's right there with him as they go in-- instead of sending the backup guys, they're both through the door first. But seriously dude that smoke is super dangerous for them, obscuring their vision in a way it wouldn't for Roman and Shepherd, meaning that they would be totally vulnerable to being shot before they even see their targets. But actually there’s none there to be seen; I assumed they escaped out the same air vents that Jane and Patterson crawled though in the lockdown ep, since Borden clearly knew about those from that time, but instead, the sneaky bastard had actually cut a hole through the wall behind a panel, pre-engineering their escape. Dammit, Borden, why you gotta keep hurting us even from beyond the grave? I definitely get how Patterson feels rn...

Ugh, the calm after the storm. Jane is standing near Weller-- I have a feeling they haven't been more than a couple of yards from each other since this whole thing happened, a subconscious connection of both protection and reassurance--  as he looks down at Pellington's body, and ugh they may have both had their issues with him, but they never wanted this. And then Patterson joins them like a timid puppy, telling them that Shepherd tried to attack six other buildings all over the country. Their efforts prevented four of them, but couldn't stop the other two-- but all civilians were evacuated in time and the law enforcement casualties were minimal. They're still shaken over it, naturally, but it's a better outcome than they could have hoped for. Jane looks almost near tears as she realises that they saved thousands of lives. And they did. But Weller's right; that's not what people will remember. People always look for someone to blame, and don’t necessarily always care if it's the right person. This poor team has been through hell today, and though they did save thousands, there were plenty of their own that they couldn't save. Lbr the bullpen is going to have a very 'Empty chairs at empty tables' vibe for a long time. 

Omgggggg. They're in the cell and Weller is fluffing the pillow and all I can think is BLUE SHIRT BLUE SHIRT BLUESHIRT BLUESHIRTBLUESHIRTBLUESHIRTTTTTTT. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. IT'S HAPPENING. And ugh Weller apologises that she can't go home-- everyone else can, because they're not in danger of being murdered by their mother or brother (well, as far as we know; maybe they have a complex family situation too). Tbh I feel like Weller is totally fine with her staying; this building is now a fortress, and there's probably nowhere safer for her to be. Plus, he's now kinda the big boss, and will no doubt be staying in his office (not forgetting he'd be a main target too), putting him only moments away if she needs him. And ugh now that they're out of the firefight and reality has settled in, she can't think of anything but how her family is responsible for all of this death and destruction, and how she herself played a role in bringing it about. Not to mention that Roman, one of the people she loves most in the world, turned on her, shot at her, and fled with Shepherd, choosing to be a terrorist rather than stay with her and fight for good. And that's where her real fear comes in-- what if the same will happen to her? What if she's just a time-bomb, ticking down to the moment when the zip wears off and Remi reawakens? What if one day she could suddenly lose all that she has become, could snap and turn on the team, on Kurt, and have no control over it? It's her Remi nightmare all over again, except this time she's faced with the possibility of it becoming reality. Ugh how awful must that be, to live with that potential death-sentence over your head? But ugh Weller won't let her think like that; he immediately reaches out, and ugh her voice hitches almost imperceptibly as his hand covers her knee and she fixes her eyes on his, needing to hear that it will all be okay, and he tells her that they aren't their families and she shudders and looks away and you can practically see the 'but what if I am?' that runs through her head, and he turns to her, voice more insistent as he tells her that he knows her heart (asdfghjkl of course he does, bc it's the match of his own; he knows her as well as he knows himself) and ughhhhh then let me die because he PUTS his HAND over her HEART. Just like she did with his all those months ago; it was her starting point, the symbol of her journey of becoming Jane, becoming the person she truly was. This is her. The tattooed FBI consultant who saves people on a daily basis and whose heart of gold belongs to Kurt Weller. That is who she is, not a cold and calculating terrorist who only wants to watch the world burn. "[Remi] is not who you are,' he tells her, and he's right. She's his Jane, and always will be. And ugh she holds his hand against her chest, head down and eyes closed, keeping him from pulling away, needing that reassurance. Needing that contact. And then she looks up at him almost pleadingly, like she's so desperate for him to be right, and so needing the reassurance of his touch, of his love. And he sees it, understands it, because he needs her too. And he never looks away as he shifts his hand to cup her jaw, and ugh the way her hand covers his and her tear-filled eyes find his and her chin trembles and okay it's super faint but I am so sure he shakes his head just a fraction and whispers 'it's not', and ugh I'm also convinced that he pressed his fingers just lightly against the back of her neck in like a tiny 'come here' gesture and she's barely fighting off the tears as she does, finally letting herself give in and believe that she can truly have him this time, that she can at last give him her heart completely. And ugh her hand lifts from his but falters, wanting to reach for him but unsure for a moment if this is just a comforting peck or if this is an everything-laid-bare, I'm-never-letting-go kind of kiss, and she soon realises it's the latter and curls her hand around the back of his neck as he buries his in her hair, the other gently gripping her arm, anchoring her to him, and ugh this is a kiss they could both happily live in forever; a real everything-out-in-the-open, no-more-hiding-or-pretending kiss, no more secrets, no more ghost-Taylor, just the two of them choosing each other. Just Kurt and Jane, finally kissing the person they're stupidly in love with. And god, part of me so hopes Patterson is still in her lab rn and happens to look at the video feeds just at the right time and is standing there with happy-tears in her eyes and her hands over her mouth to hold in her squeal, because the day had been full of fear and suffering and devastation and darkness and then there was this one tiny bright spark, this one beautiful and happy thing, and ugh I bet she mutters abuse at the secret service guys when they interrupt and is already anticipating the moment she visits Zapata later and gets to tell her about this because if anything makes her friend feel better, it'll be winning the bet that they've had going on since the other night in the bar and ughhhhh this is the first moment of sunshine through the clouds and the first time that she realises that maybe things might just be okay. And ugh back in the cell, Weller is super displeased about the Secret service interruption-- when they first arrive, he doesn't even seem to hear them straight away, bc for a split second when Jane pulls away he seems confused, grip tightening on her like he wants to pull her back in, and then he registers what was said and realises why she pulled back haha, and you can literally see him make a gesture like 'kind of in the middle of something here guys' lol. And then ugh when they say he needs to come with them, his body shifts, and as usual idc that their hands are out of shot, bc I am 100% certain that when he says 'I'm not leaving my people'-- meeting Jane's eyes as he says so-- he closes his hand over hers on her thigh, linking them like he's daring the agents to try to separate them. And then she tells him that he has to go and it's okay, and gives him this adorable little encouraging smile, and he gives a tiny huff like 'alright, wifey, but only because you said so' and ughhh he gets up and moves past her and their hands are still holding onto each other and he gives her fingers one last tiny squeeze before forcing himself to let go and ughhhh he walks out without looking back because he knows he has to go do his ~duty~ and if he looks back and sees her sitting alone on that bed he won't have the strength to leave. But his dedication to serving and protecting others is one of the things she loves about him and she would never want to stand in the way of that. Doesn't mean she won’t miss him like hell until he gets back, though.

Oh boy. Shepherd is all dressed up, medals and everything. I have to say she does look good in a beret. But hold on, this isn’t one of those situations where the person gets in their full military dress before killing themselves, right? Nope nevermind, she's making a video announcement. I'm intrigued by the two empty chairs beside her-- were they originally intended for Roman and Remi? Was this vid meant to be a family affair? And she claims responsibility for the attacks, blah-blahing about how the country is failing and needs to be rectified (look, I'm not necessarily arguing with that, but I sure disagree with her methods), and ugh as she talks we get little glimpses of Weller being taken somewhere unknown, while Patterson stands in the bullpen with tears running down her face, and Reade sits by Zapata's bedside, and Jane sees the R carved on the bed and grieves afresh for Roman. Ugh. Oh right, the empty chairs are for 'those we have lost and those who will take up the fight'-- so, they kinda are for Remi and Roman then. And apparently now is the dawn of a new America, and clearly Roman is as discomfited by this as the rest of us, because that definitely sounded like a victory speech. Given that she wants him to send it to the Times tomorrow, yet said 'Today's attacks', then clearly she has a lot more planned.... #shit

Aaand now Weller is being escorted into a mysterious bunker in a mountainside, having to surrender his gun and phone (noooo, how will you tell wifey you're okay??) as part of the Deputies' Committee protocols. And then we see the flashback to Briana getting him to sign those documents and well, nice work show. Way to plant that little seed early on haha. And now Weller's in the hands of the army, walking into... a giant, fancy conference room filled with official looking people. I love that Weller's focus isn’t on the guy addressing the group; it’s on the bunker doors sealing behind him, cutting him off from his team, and from Jane, for who knows how long. And he already knows that something about this is very, very wrong. And then he hears the words Continuity of Government Subcommittee-- COGS-- and sees the copy of the Truman protocol in his binder. Not to mention the fact that Keaton, Julia Chang of the CDC, and Agent Valentine of the DEA are all there, people who are all in place due to tattoo cases removing their superiors from power. And then he knows. Knows that THIS, the Truman protocol, is Phase 2. They are the new dawn of America, the new founding fathers (and mothers). Shepherd chose them all based on their leadership skills and morality, which is kind of a weird thing to think about when she is the exact type of thing that they will be protecting the country against. It's very ‘be the villain in order to become a hero’ kind of thing? But either way, literally everyone outside this bunker, including everyone Weller loves, is now in terrible mortal danger. And he has absolutely no way to stop it. #Checkmate

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x20 recap

(Aka the one where the team pulls a prison break and a few big secrets are revealed) 

This is one of those episodes that improves upon rewatching (possibly due to being too traumatised the first time around). And with so much of the story revolving around badass ladies, what’s not to love??

So, here’s installment #2 for this week. Enjoy.

Ughhh my baby Zapata is having her mugshot taken and I’m super conflicted about it bc on one hand I’m so worried for her but on the other all I can think is that she looks like a freakin’ model and ugh this is too much for me rn. And ugh she’s being shut up behind bars and she looks so little in her orange jumpsuit and everyone else looks so mean and angry and ugh my precious cupcake ughhh. And oooh here’s Ronda, and it’s actually so weird to see her meekly handing over her toothbrush bc her irl fighting persona is always so (ง'̀-‘́)ง  and just ready to throw down at all times. I love her little jibe about the other chick needing the toothbrush more tho haha– maybe not quite as meek as I thought. And then awww Zapata is like 'here, friend’ and offers her another toothbrush and gets totally brushed off (heh). But dammit Ronda– I mean, Devon– that was just plain rude to my baby, she’s only trying to make friends, c’mon

Ugh speaking of my babies, Jane is being super adorable and talking about needing to fix the radiator (*cough* Weller could probably do it *cough*) so Roman could get a good night’s sleep and ugh she sounds so chipper and I very much believe that she slept very well with some very pleasant dreams (basically playing out the plot of Uninterrupted, lbr) and ughhh she’s on such a high and then sigh Roman brings it crashing down by bringing up The Emma Secret. I’m emotional over the fact it’s tearing him up this much to keep it from Weller though– shows he really isn’t the same as Old Roman. And ugh Jane knows he’s right but she also feels even more trapped by it than she did before, bc since Roman has been allowed out she knows that it will only look worse that she held this back and ughhh she and Weller are in such a good place rn and she so desperately doesn’t want to ruin that, even though she knows she has to 'fess up and do the right thing and ugh my poor baby I don’t like your choices but I can understand them, and I know you are heading for a whole lot of pain and ugh can’t I fix this for you both somehow please

Speaking of my handsome munchkin (who I bet also slept extremely well last night, and possibly even had to do some early morning laundry because of it), Weller has called Patterson into his office because he has reports of her not going home at night– and lollll her sputtering indignation is so priceless. Genius she may be, actor she is not. And he tells her that her keycard log gave her away, which raises two points for me: first, surely she would be smart enough (and obviously have the skills) to erase those logs so no one would find out? Unless she was just too frazzled, idk. And secondly, has Weller taken on the role of checking all the logs so he can spot anyone coming and going who shouldn’t be? Silently watching over his team and his office? Ugh my beautiful protective son. And then he’s so gentle when he asks her what’s going on and reminds her that she has to trust her team and learn how to delegate, because they need her. And she gets in a huff and goes to leave like an angsty teen, but he tells her to wait and follows her and ugh Weller please hug her. Please. But instead he tells her they have to look after themselves and asks her to go see Dr Sun. Damn, would have preferred the hug. But sidenote at least we know that they know about Zapata already? Phew. They’ll get her out, I know it.

Oooh Jane arrives at the bullpen looking nervous, and Weller is literally one of the first people she sees. Ugh and she’s almost a little breathless as she says 'hey, Kurt’ (ugh the first name thing still gets me, though I love that she also still uses 'Weller’) and he’s all cool like *nods* 'Jane’, and her breath comes out on a tiny almost-chuckle which I am very much going to assume is related to the fact that they’re being all cool and casual when like 12 hours ago they very nearly made out with each other’s faces and then proceeded to spend the whole night dreaming about it. But she avoids that topic and asks about Zapata instead, which means she’d already been briefed on it before even getting to work�� and then aaahhh they’re literally making small-talk, with Weller asking her about how things with Roman are going (bet he regrets letting him out a little just bc now he can’t come over for private time at Jane’s haha) and she admits she’s worried about Roman, about how he only ever sees the NYO and the safehouse and ugh I get where she’s coming from but also honey don’t be asking for too much too fast… and then omg this takes an unexpected direction when Weller literally seems to have a lightbulb moment and invites them both over for dinner tonight. Omg. This is literally a date under the guise of a friendly dinner. It’s a date-plus-chaperone. And wow Jane goes from surprised and delighted to terrified to faux-happily accepting all in the space of a second, and then as he tells her the time and turns away, her 'sure’ is barely more than a whisper, her hands moving awkwardly like she literally doesn’t know what to do with herself because shit, she can’t do this, she can’t keep this from him any longer bc in that split second when he suggested dinner she wanted it SO BADLY but she knows she can’t have that connection between her and him/him and Roman until she’s honest with him, and so now a deadline has been put in place. There is never going to be a 'best time’, so the time is today. She’ll tell him today. And ugh as she watches him walk away, she’s completely and utterly terrified that the next time he walks away from her it’ll be for good…

Ugh I love prisons. Why do places that represent such awful things fascinate me so much?? Well, okay, because of my eternal love of Prison Break, obviously. But still. They’re just interesting. And speaking of interesting, Zapata’s about to step into a fight between Devon and the Boss Lady. Boss Lady gets in a good first punch, and Devon looks like she’s about to get her ass beaten, when Zapata walks straight into the Boss and is all 'you’re in my way’. Ooooooh man she may be tiny but she got biiiig balls. But then aaaahhh Boss Lady is kicking her ass and nooooo my babyyyyy I don’t want to see thisssss. She and Devon actually start doing a pretty good job of holding their own, though, and I’m personally really kinda enjoying seeing them team up and kick butts. Oh hold on, Boss Lady is named Liz. That’s easier. Also man the whole no-snitching thing is such an interesting culture– everyone else present knows who’s responsible, but doesn’t say a word, even when they lose their yard time too. And oooohhh noooo Weller’s here to visit now and ughhhh the stunned look on his face when he sees her injuries and the slightly ashamed but also defiant look on hers when she sits down. Aaaaarghhh. And he’s all “what the hell happened” because he’s Mr Protective and hates to see his family getting hurt and ughhhhh. And then lol I love how the camera zooms in as he looks around, telling us that he’s about to reveal a secret. And he does– turns out, this whole thing is all their own plan. And then we get a flashback to the bar– and wait hold on, that was 72 hours ago?? Dammit, that means we actually missed the cutely-awkward morning-after-almost-kissing Jeller interactions? Ugh I’m so bummed. Ah well, I’m going to assume it just involved a lot of quick, shy smiles and carefully keeping their conversation limited to Zapata and other safe topics. But omg okay I’m over my disappointment now bc ughhh in the flashback Weller’s getting teased by the others for offering to pay for the next round– which apparently he never does? I’m kinda surprised by that. Also I feel like they’re a little past round three rn lol. And ugh Jane defends him by saying he bought her drinks once– when she had no money and no ID. And wait this needs to slow down because I have many questions???? When was this drinks-buying?? Who else was there?? And does this mean she now DOES have ID? What name is on it?? And lbr who would think she was underage anyway? Surely no one would bother to card her. But ugh the main takeaway from this moment is that HER HAND IS ON HIS SHOULDER AS SHE SPEAKS. UNNECESSARY AND LINGERY TOUCHING, MY FRIENDS, AND SO RECENTLY AFTER THE ALMOST-KISSING. THERE IS NOTHING UNINTENTIONAL OR INNOCENT ABOUT THAT. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. And then ugh Patterson gets a text with details from one of the shredded Sandstorm documents– she’s found a new name, a new Sandstorm member for them all to track.

So now they’re all at the NYO, wearing the same clothes, and all I can think about is all of them sharing an Uber to get there lol and I so want to imagine Weller and Jane squished up against each other in the backseat with Zapata smirking on Jane’s other side and deliberately taking up as much room as she can, but I feel that logically it would have been the three ladies in the backseat and Weller in the front. Sigh, logic sucks. Anyway they look at the details they found on Devon, who was arrested for weapons smuggling, most likely for Sandstorm. Weller wants to bring her in, but Jane says she won’t talk if they do– so she offers to go undercover instead. Nice thought, honey, but given that you’re kinda the heir to the Sandstorm throne, this is one undercover op you can’t do. And ughhh Zapata’s got her determined face on and says 'let me in, Coach’ and ugh she brushes aside his objections and tells him they need to step things up if they want to get ahead, and ugh he doesn’t like it but looks at Jane and she looks back at him and even without a single word exchanged he knows she agrees with Zapata and so he gives in. Ugh my amazing in-tune babies. But because he’s Weller, he’ll only allow it if there’s safety measures in place, because he needs to protect her any way he can. And so no one– not even the arresting officers– know that this is a sting. So what did they have her arrested for though?? They must have made something up, bc it totally wouldn’t be the Coach Jones thing. There’d be no way to wipe that slate clean. But anyhow back in the present, Weller is still very unhappy about her not calling for help, and she’s all 'dude I started that fight on purpose and could have ended it in a heartbeat if I wanted to’ and ugh he’s so uncomfortable about it and worried about the consequences and tells her he’s pulling the plug– but she calls him out bc they both know they’ll never get another shot at Devon if they stop now. Remember what I said about that understanding she and Weller have? This is a good example of that. He doesn’t concede, though, just compromises, because he’s still the boss and looking after his family is still his #1 priority, even above Sandstorm. And then aaahhh Zapata gets back to her cell and finds her bed on fire, and one inmate tells her she’s lucky that they waited til she wasn’t in it. Daaamn. I think my baby knows now that Weller was right. I bet she wishes she had him (or probably Jane instead, lbr) in here with her rn, someone she knows has her back, someone that would keep her from feeling afraid. Ugh my poor sweet baby is in over her heaaaaddd

Ugh Weller walks back into the bullpen and Jane immediately looks up from her screen and asks him how Zapata is doing. Sidenote though: do these guys not have allocated desks, because Weller’s team just seems to sit anywhere. Maybe they can do that bc they’re the elite lol, everyone else just gives up their spot at a single look from one of the Super Squad. It’s probably considered an honour. But also, what is on her screen rn?? It’s a picture of some kind of room, maybe a kitchen, bc it looks like there’s cabinets or something? Are there cameras in her safehouse and she’s watching over Roman? Surely not, right?? Ugh idk. But anyway Weller tells her that Zapata is as bullheaded as ever, and now hmmm, who does that remind me of lol? And ugh Jane stands but can only nod in response, and then when he heads for his office she takes a deep breath and follows. Oohhhhhhh boyyyyyy. It’s happening. Good luck, honey. And lol I love that Weller is very confused when he finds Jane silently following him into the office, but his first question is if she’s okay. I wonder if he thinks she’s coming to talk about ~them~, especially when she tells him there’s something she’s been meaning to talk to him about? But then ughhh she says it’s about Roman and she looks so terrified, standing there behind the chair, holding onto it like it could protect her and oh man her heart must be racing rn bc she knows how huge this is, and how easily it could destroy them, and ugh she’s so terrified to lose him but she can’t keep lying and so she just says it with tears in her eyes and ugh Weller looks like she just slapped him and she rushes to explain and to defend Roman but Weller is fixated on how long she’s known, how long she’s kept it from him. And ughhhh has it really already been a few weeks? Crap that really is bad. Dammit, Jane, you should have never let more than a few days go by. A few days to process is understandable. A few weeks must seem like deliberate deceit and ugh I can’t deal with the way his face crumples when she tells him that, like it’s almost the worst part of the whole thing and he physically steps back from her and holy shit Sully is killing it because I have actual tears in my eyes watching this scene (and he certainly has them in his) and ugh her voice is getting higher and faster as she desperately tries to explain, and he’s still so silent, reeling, until suddenly he just explodes and advances on her, accusing her of lying to him to protect Roman, to get him released from his cell, and she swears that it was HIM she was trying to protect and ugh she’s telling the truth (yes, she wanted to protect Roman, but I do believe she was trying to find a way to spare Weller this heartbreak too) and she tries to tell him that but he just turns away and she knows he won’t be able to believe it and ugh he tells her she has breached their trust 'as friends’ (mmmm-hmmmm, because that’s all they are) and ughhhh they’re both so close to crying as she apologises again and he tells her that she’s also cost them a lead they could have been following and ugh she tries to fix it by saying she’ll work with Roman and Dr Sun to bring out more details of who else is involved but maaan that was the wrong thing to say and he basically forbids her from doing any such thing and then kicks her out of his office and ughhhhh when he turns away he’s working so hard to hold back the tears and I’m headcanoning that he immediately finds something breakable and dispensable that he can destroy while Jane heads straight for the most deserted spot in the NYO (lbr she knows where all the hiding places are) and just sobs because she must feel like history is repeating and she’s lost him for good this time and she hates herself for doing what she did but she was torn in so many different directions– protecting Weller, protecting Roman, protecting herself– that it all just got away from her and then it was too late and ughhhhh my baby needs a huuuuggggg

Nawww Zapata’s sitting all alone– conveniently at the table closest to the door where people walk in with their meals– when Devon sits down with her and ugh I am kinda really hoping they actually become friends? And ugh I love that we get to hear Zapata talking with an accent again, and telling her fake backstory, but lol honey don’t lay it on too thick about not being a snitch and being loyal to your people and all that haha. And then dude why would you ask about the scar, you don’t wanna seem like you’re prying… but actually it doesn’t seem to matter, bc Devon is actually kinda more wide-eyed and innocent than I expected? Like she’s not all hardened-criminal, which is a surprise. She just admitted some pretty identifying details which I feel like most wouldn’t do. And ugh Liz walks in and Devon and Zapata look at each other like two little nerdy kids who know the bully is about to come for their lunch money and ugh I know they’re both way better in a fight than I am but I still just want to like pull them behind me and protect them lol

Oh dear. Patterson is having some computer troubles, and it turns out that one of her lil lackeys– Stuart– installed an OS update on half the computers, meaning that half are now pretty much useless for a day, which reaaaally pisses her off. Lucky Weller has just arrived, though, so he can defuse the situation before it turns into something unpleasant. Poor Stuart basically runs away, looking like he needs a change of pants. Poor guy. I like him. Hope the update was an honest error and not some sneaky Sandstorm thing. Ugh and then Patterson just launches into her spiel about the intel Zapata sent, not even noticing the crazy amount of tension that fills the room when Jane walks in. Ugh it hurts me how Jane hesitates, looking at Weller, as if she’s trying to figure out if she’s welcome or should leave. But he doesn’t make an indication for her to get out– just turns away– so the two of them just stand either side of Patterson and avoid looking at each other. Patterson’s found the owner of the gun range Devon used to work at, and they wonder if he is also the boyfriend– even though he’s like twenty years her senior. Surely not, though, because she’s just far too pretty to be with a grizzled old thing like him. I much prefer the thought that her boyfriend might be Sandstorm. Weller gives Patterson the order to have the guy brought in, then walks out without a word to Jane– and ugh the defeated look on her face as she turns to leave via the other exit hurts me. Meanwhile Patterson finally picks up on the weirdness– I mean, with just the three of them left of the team, it’s kinda hard not to notice when the two of them that are normally joined at the hip can barely look at one another…

Ugh they’ve brought the guy in but Weller is interrogating him alone. This is normally the exact kind of suspect he would want Jane there for, since dudes (well, everyone, but dudes in particular) tend to like opening up to her. And okay he’s not the boyfriend– he also mentions she was a teenager when she worked for him eight years ago?? Which means Devon is literally around my age at the very oldest, and possibly younger? Ugh this messes with my life view a little bit haha. But oooh he remembers her boyfriend– skinny, pale, cold blue eyes, hell of a shot– and for a moment I’m like ‘wait, Roman??????’ (Bc honestly that’s actually a pair I could get behind) but then nope, Weller shows him a picture of Parker and the guy confirms it’s him. Really?? Really??? Parker is so slimy and strange-looking and unlikable and Devon is so gorgeous and kickass and awesome?? I don’t agree with this match at all, but then again I will admit I am biased bc I’ve definitely got a girl-crush on Ronda and think she’s totally gorgeous so maybe I’m not the best judge. Ugh. Well, I guess if he makes her happy… also lol now Weller and Jane and Patterson are in the bullpen and Weller and Jane are standing waaay further apart than they normally would, and though Jane looks at him when she speaks, he refuses to look at her. Sigh, my babies. But anyway, now their initial plan has changed– instead of just getting to Devon, they need to use Devon to get to Parker. 

Zapata’s on it; offering her phone if Devon wants to call him. Naww, look at these two being buds now. But then oh shit Liz comes with her gang, and someone shanks Devon in the gut. I literally shouted 'noo!!’– and okay lol I think I am maybe a bit too attached to this random guest character. Damn girl-crush. But ughhh Zapata yelling for help is so heart-wrenching, ugh my baby. And then she calls the team later and ugh I love that Jane is using the phone call as an excuse to stand close to Weller (I understand honey, I’d take what I could get too) and lol I also love Patterson’s “Why would you do that?!?” when Zapata says she picked a fight with one of the other inmates. Weller wants to pull them both out but Zapata refuses, saying that will tip Devon off that something is going on, but he doesn’t care, he only wants his friend safe ugh. But omg Zapata’s like 'let me get her out another way’ and Patterson’s 'you mean, besides with permission??“ hahahaha. Yes, honey. That’s exactly what she means. And oooooh this means two of my fave shows are now coming together, because this is totally about to be a prison break woooo. And ugh "I’m not asking you for permission, I’m asking you for help’. Sigh, poor Weller. He’s really being put through hell by his angels today…

Ooooohhh Roman’s in the gym, being watched very closely by his detail (god I hope at least one of them isn’t straight so they can get some entertainment out of this) and oh boy Weller’s walkig in and removing his watch and his tie and uhhhhhhh buddy, the way you’re holding that tie looks a little like you’re about to strangle Roman with it, and you know that that’s a thing you really shouldn’t do, right?? Right??? But thankfully the tie goes away (the camera peeps probably just didn’t want it dangling in Luke’s face in the shot haha) and he offers to spot Roman, then a moment later tells him that Jane came to see him and told him the truth and Roman’s eyes just flicker a little bit like he knows some kind of punishment has to be coming and he’s okay with it. And then Weller pushes down on the bar, pressing it into Roman’s chest, and his detail are all like 'Sir??’ because their entire job is to protect Roman but what are they supposed to do when the person Roman needs protecting from is the boss that gave them the order in the first place?? And ugh Roman apologises and says he should have told him right away and ughhhh Weller asks if she suffered (lbr what kind of idiot would say yes to that) and ughhhhh this is so intense and then suddenly Weller lifts the bar up (ooohh, nice muscles) and puts it back on the rack thing before walking away– but Roman halts him, apologising and telling him he’s not that person anymore since Shepherd erased his memory– and oooh Weller did you just remember that you yourself have forced Jane to lie to someone she cares about?? Mmmm-hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t get too settled on your high horse, given that you were the one that convinced her lying to someone was okay for the right reasons… And then ugh Roman says he understands if he has to go back in the cell, but he asks him not to blame Jane, that she was just trying to do the right thing, and ughhhh I love this sibling bond. They care about each other so muuuuchhh and I believe Roman totally knows how she feels about Weller and just ugh. Weller is still all *angry face* tho and strides out and ugh why must the writers hurt us all like this

Back in the bullpen, Jane and Patterson are going over some details as Weller heads back towards his office, and since Jane can’t exactly say 'hey Patterson, can you call Weller over’ she just steels herself and calls out to him, only faltering slightly when he glares daggers in her direction, before stomping up there like a grumpy bear. Patterson can clearly see the tension now– like Jane actually seems to be legitimately afraid of him rn, which is all kinds of wrong and she knows that something has dfinitely happened. She rolls with it well though– doesn’t really have much other choice– and takes them through the escape plan. And ugh the fact that the infirmary is key to the escape and that they will get out the door by cutting the power is making me kind of emotional. And Weller snarks that there has to be a backup generator, and Jane answers that it’s old and takes a while to kick in. Duh, son, I mean they have been going right through this plan together while you were off terrorizing your future brother-in-law. And ugh just now was the first time he’s looked directly at her since they were in his office and ugh I’m emotional about ittttt

Lolllll Zapata has made a mini-taser from her flip phone and idk why but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Like yeah okay, show, I’ll just take your word for this one. I love that she just tases one guard and then is able to get Devon out. Good thing the girl wasn’t hard to convince. And loollll Weller’s doing a little more roleplay this week, this time as an electrician, getting all awkward as the guard literally stands over his shoulder. And lollll he starts to cough all over his flashlight and then asks the guard to hold it for him, brushing the cough off as nothing and probably not whooping cough like his kids have got. Well that’s what you would get for not vaccinating your fake-kids, fake-electrician Weller! His ploy works entertainingly well though (my boy ain’t dumb, though it seems like the guard is) and the guy all but runs away, leaving him to it. Patterson and Jane are out in a van nearby, and she tells him to look for a labelled switch. Except there’s none of either. Just wires. And they’re seriously running out of time, bc Zapata and Devon are already approaching the door. Patterson works some magic and Weller cuts the right wires– but the two ladies run into Liz and one of her lackeys (I love Patterson’s "This is very not ideal” and Jane’s “No, get to the fence” commentary as they watch on the monitor lol) and then ugh Zapata and Devon go full badass and have a huge showdown with the other inmates and daaamn I love watching kicakass women fight?? And they get out the door just before the power comes back on (man that was a quick three minutes) and are heading striaght for the live fence– but Jane has their backs. She’s outside the van with a massive gun, shooting the crap out of the backup generator just seconds before the two of them hit the fence. Ugh I’m so proud of her. The two are over and out in moments (shouldn’t there be guard towers or something tho?) and Zapata cleverly lets Devon drive, making her think she’s in charge. Weller and Jane follow in the van, listening into the women’s conversation over the comms as Zapata gently manoeuvres Devon into leading them to a Sandstorm hideout. I’m already so sad for the moment Devon finds out this was all a trap bc I really think she already considers Zapata a true friend and ugh I just really like her okay

And then ughhhh Weller starts to tell Jane about talking to Roman (Patterson has headed back to the NYO so they’re alone in the van) and Jane acknowledges his anger but asks him to direct it at her, not at Roman, and he almost laughs at that– ah the mayhem twins, each always trying to protect the other. He has a sister too; he can understand it. But he’s determined to be angry at both. She reminds him that, like her, Roman isn’t the same person he was before the zipping, and asks Weller to look past his previous mistakes the way he did with her. But uhhhh Jane, Weller isn’t in love with Roman. So the two situations can never be the same. Ugh but the way her voice breaks and she looks down as she begs him to give Roman another chance?? And ughhh the tears in his eyes when he tells her about losing Emma, losing the only other person who was as affected as he was by the loss of Taylor, how alone he felt, and now the realisation that she was killed because of her connection to him— that’s the real source of his anger. It’s pain, not only at Jane’s lies, but at the fact that he now has to live with Emma’s death on his conscience as well as Taylor’s. Jane quietly tells him she knows how that feels, because she does– and seriously writers, putting in that Mayfair flashback was super unnecessary. Trust me, none of us have forgotten. And hell, some of us are still holding onto hope of her being alive, so keep that traumatising junk to yourself. But ugh Jane comforts him an promises him that they’re going to get Shepherd, who he’s realising is the real person he should be angry at right now. And let’s not forget, he said himself just a week or two ago that Roman was merely a soldier following the orders of a monster. If he meant that then, he has to believe it now. I mean, I can totally see how hard it would be to focus all that pain on someone firmly out of your reach when a convenient scapegoat– two, in fact– are right there in front of you, but Weller’s not the same guy who arrested Jane that night without giving her a chance to explain or defend herself. He’s learned and grown, and this time instead of turning from her, he’ll turn to her, and together they’ll face down the real enemy. And hopefully with a little bit of making out along the way.

Uh oh, Devon’s bleeding is getting worse– though she insists she’s fine– and Zapata dials up the pressure, asking her how her boyfriend would feel if something happened to her and he could have prevented it. And Devon gives in, calling him and ugh when she says she’s being helped by a friend, Zapata looks away bc she totally feels guilty and ugh my babies I just want you to be BFFs okay?? Parker gives her a place to meet, and Weller gets Patterson to send a team there. Except then Devon pulls into a scrap metal yard and Zapata’s all ??? and Jane immediately tells Weller when the tracker goes off-course, who immediately knows that things aren’t good. They’re only two miles away, but that might still be too late… And then Zapata’s like 'oh shit’ bc Parker is meeting them there instead– Devon used a code when she mentioned that the car should be turned into scrap metal– and so she quickly puts the phone in her boobs, which all women know is the best place for phones to be kept safe. And ugh she knows that the moment she steps out of the car she might be shot and ugh I’m so worried for her, and also miffed that Parker gets to hug Devon like I bet this random actor guy is super excited about getting to play Ronda’s bf (grumble grumble) and ugh anyway Zapata gets out and Devon is all happy to introduce her friend but he’s just like “Special Agent Zapata” and lol I love that he uses her title?? He could have just said her name. I approve of him being respectful tho haha. But ugh then he pulls a gun on her, which is not very respectful, and Devon looks upset that Zapata tricked her (nooooo please still be friends) and Zapata fights back (nice shot to the balls there, girl. I strongly approve) but gets knocked out and ughhhh where are they taking her and what are they doing to her and ugh Jeller arrive too late and then Patterson directs them to where the phone last had a signal and ughhhh Parker is going to use Zapata to lure Weller and Devon looks so sad and ugh can we steal her like we did with Jane and Roman? She could totally be on our side… 

Uh oh. Patterson is trying to turn Zapata’s phone back on– and thus find her and possibly save her life– and her computers start glitching up again, and oh dear Stuart is right in the firing line, and ugh the poor guy didn’t know that they’re supposed to do a bugcheck before installing a new update and omg she literally grabs him and shoves him into a wall and in a way it’s almost comical bc he’s like a lot taller than she is but it’s also super sad bc she’s convinced he’s working for Sandstorm or something and when she’s all “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??” (Ask him three times, honey, then he’ll have no choice but to tell you the truth) and he says “I work for you! I’m sorry!” and ughhh he’s such a terrified lil puppy and everyone else is watching in shock and then she suddenly realises what she’s doing and legit bails from the room?? Like uh honey your team does still need you…? And then Weller tries to contact her, and who takes the reins but Stuart, telling him that Patterson had to step away (such loyalty ugh) but that Zapata’s phone came back on and he sends them the blueprints of the place. Atta boy Stuart! And Jane shows Weller the blueprints and he tells her that when the team arrives he wants her to take half and enter via the walkway to the second floor, and he’ll take the other half via the front. She’s surprised, questioning whether they shouldn’t just go in together like usual, but he shakes his head and tells her that she’s the only one he trusts out there, and ugh he looks her in the eye as he says it and she’s the one that has to look away bc she doesn’t feel deserving of it after what she did and ughhhh save me from this helllllll

Ugh they get to the location and Weller sees the blood in the trunk and ugh he must be so worried for her and he and Jane both immediately split up and take command of their individual teams– I looooove seeing trained FBI agents follow Jane’s command ugh, and she even seems to know at least some of them by name ugh– and Weller reminds his team to take all suspects alive and ughhhh this is so totally a trap and I’m worried. And then omg Zapata screams Weller’s name and god it just makes your heart stop. But she’s okay; she’s just tied to a chair on a tiny little platform– but unfortunately one rigged with explosives. She tells him she doesn’t know where Parker and Devon went, but she sees movement just in time to warn him, and he takes cover as Devon shoots at him. I appreciate that she doesn’t shoot Zapata. Weller pulls some kind of big rolling metal thing to shield both himself and Zapata, and Jane reaches the upper level just in time to draw the baddies’ fire. Trusting her to take care of it, Weller leaves his cover and drags a fridge over to switch out for Zapata– this guy has totally watched a lot of Indiana Jones, hasn’t he. And loooolll she’s almost offended, like 'you think I weigh as much as a fridge???’ and he snarks back that there’s no minifridge around so it’ll have to do haha. And ugh when he tells her his plan– one that could easily get him killed right along with her, she just smiles at him with kinda teary eyes and for once doesn’t argue or give him any crap. She just trusts him, because he’s her family and she knows he’ll do whatever it takes to save her. And Indy would be proud, because the plan works, and they both get to safety. And haha Zapata: 'okay, I guess I weigh as much as a fridge’ hahaha. Well if it’s any consolation, it looked like a really light fridge??

Jane’s lil buddy is going head-to-head with Parker, so Jane takes on Devon, and daaaamn yet another badass lady fight. But it’s an unfair one, bc Jane can’t– won’t– kill her. She manages to pull Devon up as a shield right at the moment Parker shoots, getting Devon in the shoulder, distracting Parker long enough for Weller to get there and take him down. And now they’ve got them both, and ugh I love that Jane is almost hugging Devon, keeping pressure on her wound and preventing her from escaping. Can they become friends too? Devon seemed to know Remi’s name when Parker mentioned it earlier; I wonder if they knew each other before? Would she follow Jane now, like she would have followed Remi then?? Look I just love Devon okay???  

Oooh Weller vs Parker in the interview room. Also I am totally digging Weller’s open collar here?Ugh he just looks so cool and in control and that tension he’s been carrying seems to have eased a bit because they are finally getting somewhere, finally in a position to really take Shepherd down and ugh I am so happy for him. But ugh clearly Zapata doesn’t feel the same; she has no time to wait Parker out, she literally wants to torture it out of him right now. Woah, woman, where’s this coming from?? What has made her suddenly so determined to take down Sandstorm asap? Was it the fact that she nearly died today, bc that happens literally almost every day, so…? I mean she is super angry rn and ready to do just about anything to get Shepherd. Maybe the writers just did it this way just so we can see how steady Weller is now, and how much he’s grown and no longer has that temper he used to? But woahhh Zapata is really getting heated and won’t listen when he says no. Oooh maybe it was the fact that Shepherd’s people are now trying to kill him too?? She’s already without Reade, maybe she can’t face the thought of losing another family member. But ugh poor Weller is confused by all this rage coming from her and he keeps trying to get her to rein it in and ugh poor guy must feel like he’s fighting a losing battle just to keep his team afloat– like Reade is already on the bench and Patterson is burning out and now Zapata is losing it too?? And he can’t turn to Jane right now because he’s just pushed her away– and has to deal with his own feelings in regards to that– and ugh seriously man I think you just need to accept that everything’s going to hell and you need Jane by your side in order to get through this… 

Speaking of Patterson and her issues, she’s talking with Dr Sun (still feel like his is a bad idea) about the way she snapped in the lab, and Dr Sun is asking of she trusts herself and ugh my baby admits she is always second-guessing herself now and ugh she’s crying because she had no closure with the whole Borden thing and ughhhhhh I am so upset for my precious baby like seriously can Weller just call all his girls together and just all have a really big, really long group hug bc ugh all four of them need it really bad

Oh boy. The locker room. Jeller scenes in this room are always a source of either great joy or great pain and I feel like it’s definitely not going to be the former. I can dream though, right? Maybe he’s decided that despite everything he needs her, and maybe they’ll hug??? Right??? Ugh. But I’m curious as to what Jane is searching for in her pockets? Probably just one of those acting things where they have to look like they’re doing something all the time. And then ugh Weller is there and ugh he just stares at her back for a moment and then walks up to her all slow and takes a deep breath like he’s working himself up to it and then his voice is quiet and almost a little thick as he asks her for a raincheck on that dinner and omg this moment is already killing me bc firstly he didn’t have to ask. He could have just said that the dinner wasn’t happening anymore and walked away– or even said nothing at all, and she would have still known better than to try to show up. And then there’s the fact that he said 'raincheck’ which everyone knows means 'reschedule for another time’– like does this mean that the dinner will eventually happen? Tbh it’s really not feeling like a 'I rescind my invitation forever’ and more 'I can’t deal with everything right now but someday I’ll be ready to pick up where we left off’ and ughhhh my baby boy. Jane is all 'uh, yeah, of course’ because lbr she already assumed his invitation had been voided by what she’d done… like literally this conversation doesn’t even need to be happening rn bc the understanding was clear enough that things aren’t the same as they were this morning, but they’re having it anyway and I am 100% certain because there’s more Weller needs to tell her. And then ugh he says her name and steps closer and she looks up at him all wide-eyed like she’s half afraid his next words will be something like 'I’m arresting Roman’ etc, but she also somehow knows that that’s not gonna be it bc she can hear the vulnerability in his voice and ughhhhh he tells her he knows Roman isn’t the person he was before, just like she isn’t, but he can’t just flip a switch and get over this discovery. And it’s strange but it almost feels like he’s apologising to her for being torn up about it, for letting it get in between them? But of course she’s understanding, because she’s Jane and she loves him more than anything, and ugh she tells him she wishes she could change the past and that she would do a lot of things differently and you just know that the list of things she would change and the list of ways that she has hurt him are pretty much one and the same. And ugh he agrees that he would do things differently too, and man I hope that Jane understands– as we do– that he means arresting her and letting the CIA take her, not that he would change the connection between them or how he feels about her. And ugh he says goodnight and walks out and ughhh her whispered 'goodnight kurt’ and the way she’s like clutching her jacket against herself is just so upsetting and she blinks a few times like she’s trying not to cry and ughhhh why must they go through such paaaaaiiinnnnn

Oooh Zapata has gone to Reade’s, and aww he apologises for not having 'anything stronger’– he must have gotten rid of all the alcohol in the apartment and be really cleaning himself up and ugh I’m so prouddd. And she’s there to vent about work and says she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to (c’mon now, Jane would listen– though then again Zapata knows that Jane would side with Weller on this particular issue) and ugh when Reade tells her she has Weller, she sasses that no one can really talk to Weller– except Jane. Ughhh, they really all do see it. They all know. But I feel like she’s being a bit unfair to Weller– he is actually working really hard to support the team, and would never turn any of them away if they needed to talk. I appreciate that Reade pretty much says the same, but that just starts Zapata on her little tirade about how they’re being held back by dumb things like laws and moral codes and should be fighting dirty instead, and oh boyyy this will end up nowhere good…

Aw, Jane comes home with pizza as Roman is preparing a salad to go with it, and I love that they must have discussed this earlier given that it’s clear she’s only just gotten home from the office. So domestic. And ugh she says how Weller mentioned talking to him and she tries to assure him he’ll come around and ugh Roman doesn’t seem angry but he’s still not very happy either as he says 'I’ll take your word for it’ and ugh I wonder if his chest is bruised from that bar? I wonder how Jane would react if she saw it? I think she’d be upset but he’d be all 'this is how men sort out their problems sis’ and she’d kinda reluctantly accept it, knowing Weller could have done faaaar worse things to him and chose not to. Also sidenote, I never realised that her bedroom opens right up onto the kitchen?? That’s kind of weird. And the doorway is really wide– is there even an actual door on it? That doesn’t feel very private. How are she and Weller meant to have sneaky makeout sessions?? But anyhow Roman cuts his finger– surprising for someone who we know is very skilled with knives– and ugh she goes straight into protective big sister mode and literally goes to fetch a first aid kit. I would have been like 'eh there’s a band-aid in the drawer somewhere if you need it’ lol. But aaaahhhh her attentiveness ends up being her undoing– initially he’s smiling down at her, obviously enjoying that someone cares enough to fuss over him– but then the flashbacks kick in, taking him back to when she was patching him up before Zipping him, and oooohhhhh noooooooooo. This is very not good. And then ugh he confronts her about lying to him and being the Zipper and ughhhh she’s backing away from him slightly and trying desperately to get him to listen to her but oh no Shouty Angry Roman is back and then he grabs the knife and holy shit????? Like okay yes we know he wont kill or even significantly injure Jane, but seriously what the hell happens now?? Like does she take him down and have to bring him in?? Or does he escape and she’s left there to call Weller and ughhhh imagine how devastated she is going to be either way and ugh please let Weller see past his own hurt and be able to comfort her because ugh my baby has just lost one man she loves and she needs the other more than ever rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhh