#god i need to get around to watching Jennifer's body

[jareaul0ver]

Talk Too Much

Summary: You never learn when to shut your mouth, so JJ has to shut it for you.

wc: 1.7k warnings: smut (r recieving), fingering, oral, cursing, semi-public sex (in a bathroom where they could easily be caught) pairings: jennifer jareau x fem!reader

It was a boring day at the BAU. There weren't many days that the team wouldn't have any cases, but today happened to be one of them. You needed to find a way to entertain yourself, so you started bugging everyone.

You tried to talk to Spencer, but he was too distracted with the stack of books piled on his desk. Emily was chatting with Penelope about something "top secret". Dave was telling Derek about his famous pasta dishes, which you found incredibly boring, and you knew well enough to not bug Hotch.

That left JJ as your only option to bother, and that you did. You walked over to her office and smiled at her. "Hey, you."

She looked up from her desk filled with paperwork and softly smiled. "Hey, Y/N. You need something?"

You shrugged and walked into her office, sitting yourself down on the chair across the desk from her. "Not necessarily, no." She flashed you a slightly confused look. "Jayje, I'm bored. I'm going to go crazy if I don't talk to someone."

She sighed but her smile grew. "I've got paperwork to do, but if you want to talk, then talk." JJ immediately knew she'd end up regretting this decision, as once you got started, you didn't stop.

However, she loved the way your face lit up when those words left her mouth. You immediately opened your own and started rambling about complete nonsense.

For a while, JJ thought it was adorable. She loved seeing how excited you'd get when you'd remember a detail to add onto the end of one story, then remembering something from another, making you talk about that.

But eventually, that cuteness that she ever so adored faded. She found herself staring right at your lips, wishing she could just grab your face and press her lips against it. She was getting so lost in watching the way your lips moved while you talked, that she didn't even realize you had stopped.

"Jayje?" You questioned, waving your hand gently in front of her face.

Her eyes darted up to meet yours and she blinked a few times. "Hm?"

"Are you even listening anymore?" You teased her, even though you knew for a fact that she wasn't, and she probably was just zoning out to get through the conversation.

She hesitated for a moment before standing up. She walked around her desk and grabbed your arm. She dragged you up from the seat and out of her office. "JJ, what the hell-" She shot you a look, making you immediately shut up.

The two of you ended up in the bathroom. She gently guided you in before stepping in after you and locking the bathroom door behind her.

"Are you gonna say anything to me, or-"

Her hand flew up and covered your mouth. She breathed out. "God, Y/N, you talk way too fucking much." She moved her hand from your mouth, and it wrapped somewhat loosely around your neck.

Without hesitation her lips were pressed feverishly on yours. You were caught off guard, but once you regained your senses you immediately kissed her back.

Pure bliss spread throughout the both of your bodies, but JJ wanted more. Her body was heating up, and all she wanted in this moment was to take you entirely.

She gently squeezed your neck with her hand and a small gasp left your throat. She slipped her tongue into your mouth and groaned the second your tongues swished around each others. Her hand trailed down your body and landed on the side of your abdomen, her other hand mirroring the placement on the other side.

She squeezed your sides and pulled her lips away from yours. Before you could protest, her lips attached to your neck. You sucked in a sharp breath and leaned your head, giving her better access to your skin.

JJ was careful to not leave any marks on your skin, even though she so badly wanted to. Her hands flew up to the top button of your shirt, and she easily unbuttoned it. She pulled back from kissing your neck and looked you in the eyes, asking silently for permission to continue.

You nodded without hesitation and she immediately pressed her lips back against yours. Her fingers found the next button, and then the next, and the one after that. Soon enough your shirt was fully unbuttoned and hanging loosely on your body.

You shivered a bit at the chilly bathroom air brushing over your bare stomach. JJ placed her hands on your hips and squeezed them tightly, eliciting a whimper from your lips.

You quickly felt the heat growing warmer between your legs, and you didn't know how much longer you could go without breaking down and begging JJ to pleasure you.

As if she read your mind, she kissed down your collarbone, all while sliding her hands up your back and to the clasp of your bra. She unclipped it in a swift and easy motion, and peeled both your shirt, and bra off of you.

Your clothes fell to the floor and JJ wasted no time in bringing one hand to knead a breast, while taking the nipple of the other in her mouth. You clasped your hand over your mouth to ensure that no one but the two of you heard the whimpers that escaped your mouth.

You bucked your hips against her, trying to feel the friction you needed, but it wasn't working. You whined quietly. "JJ, please."

JJ pulled back and her hands dropped to the zipper of your pants. "Please, what?" She tilted her head as she undid your zipper painfully slow.

"Please, just fuck me. I promise I'll be a good girl and shut up." You pleaded her. You almost couldn't take her teasing anymore.

JJ chuckled lowly. "Oh, I was planning on it either way." She swiftly made work of your pants and they slipped down your legs and onto the floor. She placed her hands underneath your ass and lifted you up, placing you on the bathroom sink.

Your breath caught in your throat. All that was left as a barrier between the two of you was your panties. JJ placed her hands on your thighs and moved them up towards the waistband of your underwear.

She kept her eyes on yours as she hooked her fingers around it. You assisted her in pulling them off. She looked down at them before discarding your panties to the floor. When she looked back up at you, a small smirk was playing on her lips. "You're soaked, honey. All for me?"

Your lips parted and you nodded dazedly. You watched as JJ slowly got down onto her knees. She placed her hands on the insides of your thighs and spread them apart. She licked her lips at the sight of your dripping cunt.

"God." She breathed. "You're so fucking perfect." She kissed the insides of your thighs, and you instinctively tried to close them, but JJ's strong grip kept your legs wide apart. You bit your lip as she got closer to your heat.

She swiped her tongue through your folds and a moan escaped both of your lips. You covered your mouth with your hand. The last thing that you both needed right now was for someone to come knocking at the bathroom door.

JJ found herself utterly entranced by your taste. She didn't hesitate to latch her mouth onto your clit and start sucking. A string of quiet curses fell from your lips. She pulled back and looked at you from below. "You're gonna have to stay quiet for me, honey, can you do that?" You nodded but she shook her head. "Use your words." She demanded softly.

"I- I can stay quiet." You shakily breathed.

"Good girl." She mumbled before attaching her lips right back on your clit. She swirled her tongue around it, noting how you bucked your hips every time she sucked a little harder. She noticed every reaction your body had to her actions, and she relished in it.

She brought a hand up and without warning teased a finger into your entrance. She slowly pumped it while keeping her mouth stuck to your clit. You threw your head back and bit your lips so hard you were convinced you'd draw blood.

She slipped another finger in, and started curling them inside of you. The hand not covering your mouth flew to her hair and you gripped it tightly. JJ moaned against your core, sending shivers through your body.

She kept her movements going for a little longer and you felt yourself nearing release. You whined through your hand as your hips rolled forward against her face and on her fingers. "Jayje, I- I'm close." You said breathlessly.

She quickly inserted a third finger and quickened her pace. She sucked and prodded your clit. You were starting to get louder, so she pulled her mouth away. Before you could protest, she stood up and locked her lips onto yours.

You groaned into her mouth at the taste of yourself. She used her thumb to rub circles on your swollen bud. Your moans and noises were getting caught in JJ's mouth.

She pulled back just enough to whisper, "Come for me, Y/N." She pushed her lips back on yours feverishly, and with a few more pumps and curls of her fingers you came undone.

She slowly helped you come down from your high. Your forehead was pressed against hers and you could feel each other's breath of your faces. She gently pulled her fingers out of you, causing you to whine.

She brought her hand up in between your faces. "Open." She whispers, and you immediately comply. She places her fingers covered in your juices on your tongue and you hum in satisfaction.

She pulls her fingers out and leans in to press a delicate kiss against your lips. "Let's get you dressed, hon." You nod and slide off the sink. You let JJ help you get dressed again.

After you've both fixed your appearance you turn to her with a small smirk. "Maybe I should talk more often, if this is how it'll end up."

[moxfirefly]

Rated Some What Spicy.

A little something that came to mind and I’m gifting it to @turtle-babe83

The feeling coiled within his stomach, deep and low to the point that he thought he was going to puke.

One can puke from excitement, right?

Because he was just about to prove it.

There was no anxious mission, no fighting about to start. He was simply existing within himself and probably training his green eyes at you. Watching carefully as you moved about the space. A section of his brain screamed at him to stop, to quit staring and shut his brain off.

But, fuck…

How could he? He hasn’t succeeded in doing so since the first day he had met you. The very second you had smiled up at him, something sweet and innocent that he wanted to eat.

He wanted to eat you.

Not in the full definition of the word, but the spirit of it. He wondered what sinking his teeth into sensitive gentle flesh would feel like. He wondered what the shape of his name would sound like exhaled from your throat. He wondered what the sweat that clung to your skin would mingle like with his seed sprayed against it.

Raph swallowed, audibly, but it proved useless to swallow the metaphorical knot stuck in his throat.

He picked up a piece of candy that April had flung towards Mikey’s direction not five minutes ago. Concentrated on the mundane task of unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. The swirl of his tongue wrapped around t until the gooey centered spilled.

And yet all his brain could picture was your lips, his dick and that atrociously desperate need to see your swallow him whole.

His teeth broke the candy, loud enough that April cringed.

“You alright big guy?” She asked, avoiding another onslaught of Mikey hurling popcorn at her. They had been engaged in a hefty debate on what tonight’s movie marathon genre should be.

Raph hadn’t been mentally present for half of it. He had personally checked out when you had pushed your seat out and gotten up to get the food ready. The whole motion of movement had made your skirt floosh and the faintest reveal of thigh had been enough to send him into his own personal horny hell.

“M’fine, just getting a headache from Mikey defending The Matrix so much” He managed to move his eyes from you to cast a glare at his youngest brother.

“We can’t watch a Patrick Swayze marathon for the fifth time dude, we gotta expand our horizons” He was adamant that Mikey simply wanted to bust his balls.

“One doesn’t get tired of Point Break” Was his final statement before April offered up another trilogy as an option.

The five minute break had helped, the candy had fully melted in his mouth and by the time his eyes found you like autopilot, you had gone to the bathroom by the lack of your presence.

“Keep an eye on the food numbnuts, be right back, and no April we ain’t watching Jennifer’s Body, ya get a weird look in yer eye when that broad goes berserk on them dudes” Her huff made him smile but why were his legs lifting him up and delivering him towards the bathroom that surely was occupied?

Had he finally fucking lost his mind?

He silently prayed he’d trip and perish on his way but much to his dismay he was at the door just as you began to step out. The little jump was endearing, the wide look in your eyes quickly changing before the nervous laugh kicked in.

“Jesus I didn’t hear you” You commented with a giggle.

“My bad, ninja shit and all that” He felt his tongue was made of clay.

“Well naturally you’d be good at sneaking around, so what’s the finale decision for the marathon?” You asked, peaking a glance behind him as the debate for The Matrix had now been swapped for Rush Hour.

Raph swallowed, eyes taking in your small frame compared to his massive one. The concept of how you’d look beneath him punched him in the gut and exhilarated him all at once.

God he wanted to fucking eat you up.

“…Do ya wanna skip the movie?”

It was out of his mouth before he could shove it back down his esophagus.

“What? Like not watch them?” You weren’t taken aback, merely intrigued by his sudden change. But he could tell there was a little beneath your words an almost hopeful want.

It took a great deal for Raph to unglue his mouth, a rattle in his spirits as the adrenaline zig zagged inside of his veins.

“Kinda just wanna hang with ya…just us” He whispered it, a little nugget of information that found itself smacking your concern into a grin.

Why were you grinning?

Oh fuck!

“If you wanna be alone with me all you had to do was ask, is that it? Is that what you want Raphie?” His palms felt sweaty, he felt his stomach do a violent somersaults but your grin, your eyes casted upwards at him didn’t allow him to move. All he could muster was a nod, slow and meaningful enough to make your eyes shiny with curiosity.

Did you know? Could you read every shameful thought that’s ran through his brain all these years?

The aftertaste of the candy still clung to the inside of his cheeks, it mixed with the little saliva he had left from swallowing so much.

“Hey Mike, watch the food, something came up and Raph’s gotta take me home!” There was a muffled yeah yeah yeah from him and before Raph could look back your hand was in his.

Soft skin on his callouses.

“Well, let’s go” You smiled whilst leading him towards one of the exits in the Lair.

He allowed you to tug him, mind too wrapped up still on how your hand felt against his own. That impossible desire to pull back against him, to feel your further against him.

That need to consume you ran through his body like electricity.

What the fuck was he getting himself into?

[chris-continues]

Only for me..

A Jennifer’s Body AU w/ Uncanny Vash

SUMMARY: in which Vash is your part demon boyfriend.. who has a rather interesting diet.

TW: mentions of murder, corpses, cannibalism, blood, light gore, slightly suggestive (you kiss and get close to one another w/ some suggestive touches), mentions of not eating (nothing too heavy)

NOTES: Ray said smth along the lines of “I need to kiss him when he’s covered in blood” and I felt that. Jennifer’s body is one of my fav movies ever (and while I was watching it w Ray and a few other friends he was like “…so uncanny vash-“ AND I WAS LIKE “YES.”) so take this thingy hehe

TAGS: @h4venpha @vashfantasy @lune010 @captaintweet @millionsvash @beanibon

“..I hate that you have to- to lure them in like this.” You were well aware of how beautiful and captivating your boyfriend was, charisma rolling off of him in waves.

He was inhuman.

“..I know mayfly, I’m sorry..” his gaze drifted towards the ground, swinging the corpse around like a rag doll sheepishly. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Blood covered him, head to toe, splattered across his cheeks and even the lens of his glasses.

You stood, arms crossed on one side of the room pouting. “Mm.. ok.” Your foot tapped on the ground of the abandoned house- you’d made it habit to meet with him afterwards, terrified at first but soon warming up to it. He didn’t enjoy it either.

There were days you had to convince him to find food. Starving himself, for the sake of others- which was selfless, and perhaps it wasn’t morally correct of you to cast others aside but you needed him alive. So you compromised. He wouldn’t do this alone. He was eternally grateful for that, really. He much preferred his other, more temporary way of feeding. When the.. incubi part of him gave way to you. He’d never bring himself to hurt you- god no! But you seemed to have your own allure, feeding him in waves. In some irony, you were the dessert he fed from after a meal from one unfortunate victim.

He gently lays the body down on the couch for others to discover later, making his way toward you. His pupils contract unnaturally, stomach probably making room for it’s assumed second course now. A rumble erupts from his stomach, hungry, depraved, even. It's a bit scary to you still, even more so when you'd first found out about his little secret. That the likable tennis nerd in your bio class was secretly a serial killer- not by choice. He was such a sweetheart, despite the feral look glinting in his eyes he held you tenderly against the walls of the rickety house at the edge of town.

"..'m only yours.." He murmured against your neck, nipping gently. His jaw creaked, bones rearranging from the previous tearing of flesh with his teeth. "All mine.." You smiled into his hair, stained a slight pink. "Mm, you gotta shower." Your hand found its way into the strands, ruffling his hair affectionately. The hum he released was rather otherwordly in pitch, content chirps growing closer and closer until-

"Clean your mouth first, uh uh."

Of course you made him use mouthwash before kissing you, duh. Cross contamination was a thing. You truly wonder if that applied to your situation, however either way you weren't too fond of the idea of having his leftovers between your teeth.

He whined, tossing his head back and rummaging throughout his pockets. "Fine, fine..." a cute pout settled on his lips. One you couldn't wait to kiss off. "Hurry up.." you tapped your foot impatiently, "Had to wait so long earlier." "You act like you're the one getting fed!" Ah, the irony. Amusement dripped from his tone as he hurriedly spat the mouthwash out the half opened window. "I'm a very lucky person to be feeding you. Now c'mere." You slung your arms over his shoulders once more, his neck craning down as he dipped you playfully, pressing you to the wall once again. His lips met yours briefly- a warning for what was to come- before he groaned. The demon in him had yet to be satiated.

Vash craved you immensely, and would go to extreme lengths to truly prove it to you. So dutiful. Devoted to you.

Warmth emanated from him, as if he were a heated, weighted blanket. Everything about him made your head spin- although that may be apart of his quite literal otherwordly charm and aphrodisiac. Well, that, and the fact you were head over heels in love with him. "Love you mayfly," he groaned, "Only you. 'm sorry, 'm so sorry.." He whimpered, message to you broken between kisses. Oh god, he was so sweet.

"You're the only one for me." He continued, pressing into you further. His breath mixed with your own, his arms encasing you. He was your safe haven, yours. And he'd do anything for you. Blood trickled onto your shirt, chest pressed to his front. Crimson tinged every article of clothing he wore when feeding, you both had to make routine trips to the thrift store in town nowadays. It made for cute dates out, though, so you weren't complaining. "Love you too.." You breathed out, barely able to get a word out as he kissed you deeper, and deeper, inhuman tongue plunging into your mouth. He seemed to always crave more of you, the taste of you intoxicating. He hummed, hands rubbing up and down your biceps before tightening around you once more. Everything about him was exhilarating, always giving you so much it almost felt overwhelming in the best possible way. A coppery taste still made its way into your mouth, but you'd grown to not mind the taste. Not if it was Vash, the boy who'd cherish you through and through. Who would bite at your bottom lip, practically devouring you with such need as he continued to cling to you in full.

You'd love him through and through, making this all work. You had so much love to give him, pressing back against him in an attempt to match his feverish need in your kiss.

He was yours. And in return? You were his, unapologetically, unconditionally, and that would remain unchanging.

[slytherinlesbians]

Whumptober 2023, Day 14: (alt prompt) Shaking

fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid, aaron hotchner, jennifer jaraeu, emily prentiss | ship: none | trigger warnings: gunshot, autistic meltdown | content: spencer has a meltdown after a case, autistic spencer, team as a family, hotch & spencer friendship, dad!hotch | word count: 642.

When the gunshot sounds, it’s Spencer’s last straw. He practically collapses on the ground, back pressed against the SUV and biting down on his hand, trying not to scream. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries his best to focus on nothing but biting down, biting down, biting down, but the air is hot and sticky and his vest his tight against his chest, the image of the unsub he identified with being shot down is replaying over and over and God, oh God, he feels like he can’t breathe- 

“-pencer. Spence. It’s alright, you’re alright. Can you breathe with me?” JJ’s voice is soft and usually comforting, but Spencer can’t bring himself to open his eyes, to respond. He continues to bite down on his hand, eyes squeezed shut, rocking back and forth. He should respond, right? He should say something, let her know he’s still in here somewhere, despite the fact that he feels so removed from his body. He whimpers. That’s as far as he thinks he can get. 

“What’s wrong with-,” 

“Move-,” 

“Is he-,” 

“You need to give him space, man-,” 

“What’s his deal-,” 

His team’s voices telling the officers on the scene to go away drill into his skull. He’s screwing everything up, he’s sure of it. He whimpers again. After a moment, the voices move away, but they’re still nearby, grating up against his skull, mixing in with the sirens and other noises of the scene. 

“Reid, hey,” Emily’s speaking now, and he nods so that she can see he hears her, and starts to get lost in the motion. It feels good. He nods and he rocks and he listens to Emily as she speaks. 

“How about we go and get into the car? It’ll be a lot quieter there.” 

The car sounds nice. Good, even. 

He lets out a shaky exhale and opens his eyes. It’s so fucking bright. He makes a sound from the back of his throat, something noncommittal, but pushes himself up off of the ground and stands up shakily anyway. Emily opens the door for him, and he slides into the passenger seat, thankful for the tinted windows. She shuts the door quietly and makes her way around the other side. There’s murmuring outside the door, but he doesn’t focus on it. He pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, and he just tries to breathe. In, out, in, out, in, out, in-

“Reid?” Hotch opens the door and says his name softly. Spencer grimaces away from the busy sounds outside, and Hotch slides into the driver's seat quickly, shutting the door gently behind him. Spencer continues to rock in his seat, knees drawn up to his chest and hands squeezed tightly into fists to stop from shaking. “What do you need Spencer? How can I help?” 

Spencer shakes his head, looking down. I don’t know. His cheeks are flushed with shame. 

“That’s okay, you don’t need to know,” Hotch says, his voice quiet and gentle in the way it only ever goes in situations like these. “You take as long as you need. Do you want me to stay with you?” 

Spencer hesitates, then after a moment, nods. He flexes his fingers out in front of him and hums quietly. His hands are still shaking. He shakes his head at himself. Pathetic. 

“That’s just the adrenaline,” Hotch reminds him, and Spencer nods again. “You’ll stop soon.”

They’re quiet for a moment, then Hotch says hesitantly, “I know this case hasn’t been easy on you. Don’t beat yourself up over this, okay? Being overwhelmed is a universal feeling. We all just deal with it differently.” 

Spencer looks up at his boss, who’s watching his carefully, eyebrows creased in concern. 

“Thanks,” he whispers after a moment, and Hotch gives him a rare smile. 

“Of course.” 

[sjsmith56]

How I Really Feel About You

Summary: Bucky’s writer girlfriend moves into the Tower with him. He questions her about her love for Jane Austen’s novels, specifically Pride and Prejudice. For the next movie night he insists they watch Bridget Jones’s Diary and Pride and Prejudice. His reaction and the reaction of the other Avengers surprises her. First person POV.

Length: 3.25K

Characters: Bucky, unnamed OFC, Sam Wilson, Yelena Belova, Kate Bishop

Warnings: Imagine Bucky walking across the field as Mr. Darcy (sigh), implied smut.

Author’s notes: I love Pride and Prejudice and while watching the movie again envisioned Bucky Barnes as Mr. Darcy. This is the result.

The movers were scheduled to arrive the following day and I still had so much to pack for my move to the Avengers Tower. After a year of dating when Bucky Barnes, current Avenger and my boyfriend, finally asked me to move in with him into a larger apartment, I said yes. He was everything I ever wanted in a man; just old-fashioned enough to treat me with courtesy and respect, but modern enough not to be threatened by my career that took me away every so often on research trips as I flew around the world, becoming familiar with places I would write about in my novels. Sometimes, he even came with me for a time, or met me there after finishing his own mission. There wasn’t much writing done during those times but his presence certainly added to the romance of those locations, which always made its way into my books.

Being drop dead gorgeous didn’t hurt either, as I still couldn’t believe this man with the body of a god and the face of an angel, had eyes only for me. I could spend a lot of time listing off my own perceived deficits, but Bucky didn’t want to hear them from anyone’s lips. In his eyes, I was perfect, beautiful even when I was on a tear while writing, had bloodshot eyes and stringy hair, while wearing my sweatpants that were a little too tight, so my muffin top was visible. Maybe it was part of his being a 1940s man, but he seemed to like a little padding on a woman’s body, and he certainly liked mine.

Right now, he was helping me finish packing for the move, something I had procrastinated about for several weeks as I finished a final draft of my latest novel before sending it to my editor for fine-tuning. He offered to pack my bookcases, filled with my eclectic and diverse collection of books, memorabilia, and knickknacks, doing a good job until he came to the last one.

“How many different versions and souvenirs of Pride and Prejudice do you need?” Bucky asked.

He was standing in front of what I called “The Shrine,” my collection of all things related to Jane Austen’s masterpiece. It included several different collector book editions; a hardcover one, in dark brown leather with gold gilded letters, a cloth bound edition in red with silver lettering, a special illustrated hardcover edition with protective sleeve and my paperback edition that I actually used to read whenever I felt the need to resume my acquaintance with my favourite title. There were DVDs of all the movie and television versions, including the special collector’s edition of the BBC/PBS series starring Colin Firth, and Jennifer Ehle. Then there were the literary texts about Pride and Prejudice, followed by the knickknacks, souvenirs, and the photo album with the photographs of the various actors that I always took with me to comic cons, premieres and any other occasion where I might run into one of said stars, in the hopes of getting their autographs. It was my obsession and until Bucky started packing the individual items into boxes, I don’t think he realized how much I loved the book, the series, and the movies that I couldn’t watch enough times.

“Says the man with a bookcase full of Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books and the DVDs,” I replied from the linen closet. “But I’m fine with that because I know you love them and they’re good books, good movies, and your Gandalf action figure is pretty cool.”

He appeared in the hallway, leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed. His face was so serious and for a moment I wondered if he was offended that I brought up his own obsession. From the floor I looked up at him.

“What?” I asked.

“How come you’ve never asked me to watch any of the movies?” he asked. “I know you’ve seen all of the Tolkien movies. Yet, you’ve always saved your Pride and Prejudice movies for girls’ night. Is there something I should know? Are they like Bridgerton and you watch them for the sex scenes?”

“No, there are no sex scenes in Pride and Prejudice although I’m sure there is a porn version somewhere if I Google it.” I shuddered. “I would hate to think what they would do with it. Have you never read it?”

His eyes rolled. “Of course, I’ve read it, well some of it,” he clarified. “What’s the big deal?”

“What do you know about Jane Austen and the times in which she wrote?” I countered.

“Not much,” he admitted. “Enlighten me.”

I stood up as this required my full attention. “She was born in 1775, one of eight children of a clergyman,” I replied, knowing the famous author’s background well. “Well educated, she was also born into a social structure that saw a woman of her status as suitable only to be the wife of a gentleman, and mother of his children. Most marriages of the time were arranged, although her parents were a love match, and a woman was considered the property of her husband. The only women who worked for a living were in the working class. If a higher-class woman had to work because of circumstances it was seen as a drop in her social status, as governess was likely one of the few suitable jobs for her. Jane Austen began writing as a child but by the time she wrote her first published novel in 1811 it is known she had been engaged once but changed her mind and never seemed to be involved with anyone after. It doesn’t mean she wasn’t; it just was never made public. Yet her stories of life for a woman in her social sphere gave a real insight into the pressure women had to marry well, and not necessarily marry for love. Most of her heroines did just the opposite, marrying for love.”

“She didn’t write about sex at all?” asked Bucky, puzzled.

“She didn’t have to,” I explained. “It’s referred to in very genteel terms. A character in Pride and Prejudice runs off with a man who has no intention of marrying her, and although it’s not said that they did the deed, they refer to her ruination, and how that will affect the marriage chances of her sisters. In another novel, there is a reference to a teenage girl who runs off with a man, is discarded by him, and finds herself pregnant after. Because he’s a gentleman, and of a higher status than her, his standing is considered more important than hers. She’s the guilty party even though he sweet talked her into bedding with him.”

“I would have kicked his ass,” said Bucky, his face set in stone. “Talking a young woman into sex then leaving her behind with his child. Too many guys like that even in my time.”

Running my arms around his muscular middle I squeezed him hard until his face softened and he kissed me. He was my knight in shining armour with his still strong belief in how men should treat women.

“There were plenty that would but rich, handsome men of a certain status in those days often took advantage of sweet young girls that they saw as objects to satisfy their desires,” I replied. “It’s a universal truth even now, and Jane Austen was well aware of it. That’s why there have been so many versions of it in both books and movies.”

“How many books did she write?”

“Six major novels, all of them adapted into movies or TV series. There are many shorter novels, I don’t quite remember the number and one of them called Lady Susan was turned into a hilarious movie called Love and Friendship.” I placed my hand on his cheek. “Would you do me a favour and read Pride and Prejudice all the way through? Then, when I’m moved in with you, we’ll watch the most recent movie together. It’s a good adaptation, although it cuts out a lot, but it brings some aspects to the story that I like, and we can talk about the differences. Then someday, maybe on a rainy day, when I’m not writing, and you’re not on a mission we can binge watch the BBC series. It is the definitive version and delves so well into the characters. It’s what made me fall in love with Jane Austen’s writing, and certainly pointed me in the direction of writing as a career.”

That beautiful smile of Bucky’s broke out and he tilted his head at my admission. Ever since we met, and he found out I was a writer, he had often shared his admiration of those who lived by the creation of the written word. Of course, his favourite author was J.R.R. Tolkien, but he was also open to many others, and we often spent time on the couch reading together. One of us would be on their back with their feet or head on the lap of the other; it was interchangeable who was where. It was one of the many things I loved about James Buchanan Barnes, that he considered reading an important part of his life.

A week later, I was completely moved into the large apartment in the Avengers Tower. We had three bedrooms, one for us with our own ensuite, one for guests, as my family liked to visit New York at least once a year, and one to use as my writing office. We had a large living / dining area with a kitchen, although we took most of our meals in the communal kitchen with the other Avengers, some with spouses and significant others. Sam had just made a big pot of jambalaya, and everyone was crowded around with a bowl, eager to get some of the culinary treat.

“So, movie night tonight?” asked Kate Bishop as she walked away with her full bowl. “I’m feeling like we need some action movies.”

“Pride and Prejudice,” stated Bucky. “I want to watch it and then watch Bridget Jones’s Diary.”

Sam nearly spit out his drink and I threw a kitchen towel at him. He grinned at Bucky, ready to unleash his wit on him.

“You want to watch some chick flicks? The human cyborg, former Terminator, the Tin Man wants to watch a couple of romance movies?”

“Asks the man who hasn’t had a girlfriend in how long? Maybe you’ll learn something.”

Bucky didn’t even look at Sam when he said it. But you know when two guys are sizing each other up in the school yard and they begin with low level insults then one says something that the other can’t respond to? We were at that point. If Sam’s skin was lighter toned, I’m sure he would have been blushing. Everyone watched the two of them to see what would be said next. Bucky looked Sam in the eye, almost daring him to say something.

“Alright, White Panther, we’ll watch them,” said Sam. “I’m sure they will both be very informative on how to get a girlfriend. The bigger deal is how to keep one.”

Bucky put his arm around me and with a shit-eating grin looked at Sam. “I seem to be managing quite well in that department as well. Don’t I, Darling?”

I grinned at Sam then gave Bucky a long kiss. “You’re a wonderful boyfriend. Why don’t we watch the Bridget Jones movie first then watch the source material second.” I looked at all the others. “Everyone has to watch both movies. If I have to watch all of the Fast and Furious movies, you can watch two versions of Pride and Prejudice.”

I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting everyone to laugh so much at the Bridget Jones version. They especially seemed to enjoy the fight scene between Mark Darcy and Daniel Cleaver, hilariously critiquing the fighting styles. By the time the movie ended even Sam admitted he had been mildly entertained.

“Take it,” whispered Bucky. “It’s likely all he’ll admit to.”

“What about you?” I asked, quietly. “What did you think?”

“I gained some insights into modern dating that I could have used before I met you,” he said, as he gazed into my eyes. “Maybe I wouldn’t have floundered so much. The double standards certainly haven’t changed from the 1940s.”

We kissed as Kate brought up Pride and Prejudice in the TV menu, noting there was a movie version and a series version. As she looked at the series information, she recognized Colin Firth from the Bridget Jones movie.

“Wait, he played Mr. Darcy in two different versions of the story?” she asked. “Maybe we should watch the series.”

“That’s a whole rainy day of watching that you would have to commit to,” I stated. “It’s more faithful to the original book and it’s best viewed with others who want to watch it with you. The movie is a good adaptation and there is a scene near the end that should take your breath away. If it doesn’t then perhaps Jane Austen isn’t for you.”

“Who’s Jane Austen?” she asked.

“The woman who wrote the original book in 1813,” interjected Bucky. “You should read it.”

I wanted to kiss him again for that. With a shrug she queued up the start of the movie and everyone went to the bathroom, refilled their drinks, and restocked their popcorn and candy. Then Kate started the movie and I let myself become immersed in it.

“He’s hot,” I could hear someone whisper, when Matthew MacFadyen first appeared as Mr. Darcy.

“Isn’t she on Yellowstone?” Someone else asked that when Kelly Reilly appeared as Caroline Bingley.

“Shhh,” was the answer and I inwardly grinned.

When Mr. Collins arrived, there were groans at how awkward and clueless he was.

“Reminds me of some guys I grew up with,” deadpanned Kate, then she yelped when Yelena elbowed her to keep quiet as she leaned forward, taking in everything.

There were some comments at the incredible music score, which I had the CD for, as well as a digital version on my playlist. Finally, we got to the scene between Elizabeth and Lady Catherine. There were whispers of “Bitch” at Judy Dench’s portrayal of Mr. Darcy’s aunt. When Elizabeth sent the old woman on her way I settled back, knowing that my absolute favourite part of the movie was coming. Sure enough, there was Lizzie walking in the early morning mist in her nightgown and housecoat. Intellectually I knew it was highly unlikely the daughter of a gentleman would do that but visually and romantically I could feel the emotions in the scene when she turned to see Mr. Darcy walking towards her in the same mist, his overcoat flaring out as he walked, his chest partially visible through the open top of his shirt. His manly stride was just … perfect.

“Damn,” Sam’s voice was loud enough that I almost giggled.

Several audible exhaled breaths showed the scene had hit the mark and I looked up to see Bucky watching the TV screen intently. There wasn’t even a kiss between the characters while they were silhouetted in the morning sunrise, just them touching their foreheads together. It was magic. When the final scene ended, and the credits began to roll I started to turn around then felt Bucky’s face next to my ear.

“That was good,” he whispered. “We’re going to our room right now.”

Before I could respond he pulled me up and practically dragged me down the long hallway to our apartment where he pressed into me against the wall, kissing me feverishly. It wasn’t until we were both laying on the messy bed after, our legs splayed across each other, that he finally said something about the movie.

“I never knew how romantic it was,” he said, then he shook his head. “It’s not even that. They were so constrained by the morals of the time and the expectations to marry at or above your station, but all of their desires just raged under the surface.” He sighed. “That part at the end when Mr. Darcy comes out of the mist. Did you hear all the gasps? Even Sam was affected. I know that it was in the script but it just ….”

His voice trailed off and I lifted my head, propping it up on my hand as I gazed at him, while running my fingers over his chest.

“Do you remember when we met?” I asked. “I was driving all night to get to New York, and I had the flat tire. There I was, out on the highway, in the dark, the fog coming in and not a vehicle in sight. There was no cell service, and I couldn’t even get the first lug nut off the flat tire.” He raised himself to look at me, propping his head up on his hand and gently caressing my arm with his other hand. “Then out from the dark there you were, dressed all in black in your combat gear, your rifle slung over your shoulder. I should have been afraid, but you just strode right to me and looked at the flat tire.”

“It’s not safe for you here,” he stated. “That’s what I said, isn’t it? I remember. Somehow you had suffered a flat tire right in the middle of our stakeout and I just wanted to get you to safety.”

“Every time I see that scene of Mr. Darcy walking through the mist I’m taken back to that night when you helped a lady in distress. You walked me back to the quinjet and told me to stay there until you were all done with your stakeout. When you had your suspects, you changed the tire and strode through the mist just before dawn to get me. It’s how I really feel about you, Bucky. You’re my Mr. Darcy, in the flesh, except we liked each other from the start. We didn’t have to get through our prejudices to find out that we belonged together.”

“That makes you my Lizzie Bennett, doesn’t it?” He smiled. “My beautiful, smart, incredible girlfriend.”

We slept in each other’s arms, secure in the certainty that we were meant for each other. In the morning, after a quick shower, we headed out to the kitchen and found everyone else already up. As Bucky poured us each a coffee, Yelena came up to us and gestured out the window.

“It’s a rainy day,” she said bluntly. “Perhaps we can watch the miniseries of Pride and Prejudice. You did say it is more faithful to the original book.”

I looked at all the others, who had obviously delegated Yelena to the task of getting our participation. Even Sam was there, looking a little sheepish. But she was right. It was a rainy day and the episodes, if we ran them without interruption would take over 5 ½ hours to watch. There were perhaps better ways to spend the day but to me, there weren’t many. Bucky heated up several breakfast sandwiches for himself while I grabbed a muffin, some yogurt, a banana and a coffee. We settled into a spot on the sofa, as did everyone else. Then Yelena started the playback, the lights dimmed, and we all lost ourselves into the life of a Regency family with five unmarried daughters once again.

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[delta-queerdrant]

Cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking, and I want babies NOW! (Elogium, s2e4)

I get the sense that "Elogium" is an episode that viewers find embarrassing. Maybe I am just projecting my adolescent feelings onto the internet consensus. It is certainly somewhat hamfisted, but it also belongs to a genre that we might call "reproductive health body horror" and, like... I'm kind of into it?

The premise of the episode is, of course, that space alien radiation causes Kes to enter estrus. (Unaccountably the Ocampan word for this is "elogium," which is a real Latin word for something else. Okay guys!)

Let's get the "bad science fiction watch" out of the way: Ocampan reproduction makes no sense from a population biology point of view. If an Ocampan couple can only reproduce once, they need to have a multiple pregnancy to maintain population levels, not the single child Neelix seems to be contemplating. (Also, having kiddos at age five means that grandparents would often not be around to participate in elogium rituals, as the Ocampan lifespan is 9.)

Additionally, it's hard to know what to make of the revelation that Kes hasn't reached "puberty" yet. The show seems to be decoupling intellectual/emotional maturity from reproductive capacity, but we are left with some very awkward questions about Kes's relationship with Neelix. Like, sex aside, what does romance mean for a young Ocampa? This show doesn't dare ask the question, such is its fragile allo/amatonormativity.

Still, I thought Jennifer Lien's performance was strong - emotional and a little weird while still respecting her character's personhood. In an important scene (one that frames her relationship with the Doctor as a parent/child one, thank god), she questions whether she wants a kid and makes a self-affirming decision that I loved to see, though I wish it had been dramatized more fully.

And, like, occasionally, having a uterus does make you feel like you're in a dirt-eating fever dream. I don't know if the alien physiology metaphor will work for everyone but I sorta dug it.

Neelix is, of course, trash in this episode, with the return of his jealousy subplot, his dreadful gender essentialism, and the extremely cliched portrayal of him as a reluctant father. His "should I be a dad" dilemma is fundamentally relatable, but instead of showing a real dialogue between a couple that's been avoiding the question, he and Kes start the episode with gender normative beliefs (she wants a baby, he wants adventure) and switch positions after some extremely light self-reflection. They're never on the same page, and they don't make the decision together.

On a happier note, this one's shippy! The episode starts with Janeway and Chakotay having one of their ridiculous whisper-conversations on the bridge. People are (shock!) hooking up and they need to decide what to do about it. This is very weird and silly because both Starfleet and the Maquis seem cool with fraternization, and they're 70,000 light years from home. Surely there is not even a conversation to be had, other than a need for some policies and mental health supports around breakups? But we do get Chakotay asking his extremely impertinent question about Janeway's personal dating plans, and the introduction of the Janeway chastity vow.

It makes sense for Janeway not to date crewmembers, especially in light of her commitment to Mark (this episode was originally slated for season one). But what about Chakotay? He is also everyone's boss?? I think that even in the 23rd century people should still not date their bosses, but this show does not seem to know this and it bums me out, particularly because of the gendered double-standard here.

(Mollie watch: Janeway is looking at a Mark/Mollie photo in the final scene. The show wants us to believe she's pining for her man, but honestly I think the baby talk is just making her miss her doggo. In my head canon Janeway is the type of person who responds to all child-rearing anecdotes with stories about her dog.)

Ensign Wildman, and her pregnancy, are also introduced, and we get another J & C scene where Janeway affirms the crew's right to have kids (hashtag reproductive justice) and contemplates the possibility of becoming a generation ship (whoa, slow down, lady! Like, of all the ethical questions about having kids while space marooned, assuming they'll continue your mission for you is quite a leap!)

Tuvok's line "It appears we have lost our sex appeal, Captain," sums this one up: despite all the innuendo, this is a very unsexy episode, and I think that's by design. Family planning is often unsexy! I just wish it had gotten a little closer to contemplating the real issues that emerge from our dual natures as people with bodies and people with agency over those bodies, and the push and pull of figuring out what that means for us, individually and in relationship.

3/5 bowls of mashed potatoes with butter (a Terran delicacy!)

[pervertedreams]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝 - 𝐬.𝐡

summary: being the saint that you are, you go to comfort steve when he’s grieving the current lost of his best friend. you need to feed, and he needs to let off some steam. i’m sure you can find a way to satisfy both cravings.

cw: jennifer’s body au, succubus!reader, jock!steve, mentions of death, blood and gore, sexual themes, this is tommy incase you forgot

note: i’ve been wanting to do a jennifer’s body au for ages, i might make this multiple parts but for now i wanna do the forest scene with reader and steve. this can be read alone but i recommend watching the movie it’s definitely entertaining enjoy !

minors go! (not proof read lol)

ever since the recent fire in devils kettle, everyone’s been out of sorts, including you. seemingly you kept it together better than the rest, it’s not that you didn’t care. you just had your mind set on other things. your sandbox best friend nancy was definitely worried about you. after leaving the incident with the local band that played at the bar, she realized you seemed.. different. she couldn’t put her finger on it quite yet, she was on edge just like everyone else and you weren’t making it any better. but nancy’s concern for your well-being was the least of your problems. you were hungry.

the teacher was giving the class a lecture about the events that took place last night, your snarky comments and eye rolling did nothing but piss others off, finding it offensive that you didn’t take the situation as serious, considering it happened last night. nancy stares you down as you reapply your cotton candy lip gloss, your eyes evert to her stare. “want some? you could use it.” your smart comment was executed so sweetly if she didn’t know any better she’d think you were being genuine. she rolls her eyes bushing away your hand, a glimpse of her blackened finger nails makes you cringe.

“god nance, you need a mani bad. you should get this lady i know to buff those beasts.” your give a light hearted chuckle as you lean back in your seat. “people died y/n.”

you give her a blank stare, eyes slowly blinking over her features as you apply another swipe of gloss, bringing your lips together to rub it in. “anybody that we know?”

before she gets the chance to answer, the smell of tears, and sound of a soft sob catches you attention. you watch as the teacher hands said student a box of tissues. it’s steve harrington. you never paid any attention to him before, but the more you watch his saddened heart weaken, the hungrier you got. you wish you could taste the salt of his tears off his cheeks, and fuck all his fears away. maybe you could.

it’s way after school when you meet steve after practice, he’s still in some of his uniform. his cheeks are still puffy, eyes still slightly red. you can tell that he’s been crying all day, he still sorta looks teary eyed. you give him a fake pout by the time you reach him. “i heard about tommy.”

his rose tinted lips form a line as he gives you a small nod. you stare at him for a little, manicured nails playing with the silver heart on your necklace. “y’know i was there when it burned down.” you can’t help the smile that creeps on your face when his hopeful eyes finally make contact with your evil ones. “yeah?”

“mhm.” you nod, “so i was probably the last person he talked too.. like ever.” his face is pleading for you to continue, the more he speaks to you he can’t fight this strange feeling. almost like he’s gravitating towards you?

“yeah he like— told me we’d be a banging couple. it’s weird.” the sentence dies on your lips, when you suddenly realize how much of his pale neck is exposed. “he said banging?” didn’t sound like a word tommy would use? maybe he spoke differently around you, but it seemed out of character. he figures that’s not important right now and decides to push it off. he’s getting ready to ask you another question, but the sudden touch of your hand overtop of his makes him nearly jump out his skin. you were freezing cold, it’s was sort of chilly though, and you were wearing a tiny hoodie and mini skirt.

you bring his heavy hand up towards your chest, watching as his heart beat slowly quickens. it’s clearly not his first time being around a girl, having sex with a girl, and especially not touching a girls tits. but something about you was so intimidating, your energy was strong, and more sensual that usual.

“feel my heart steve, i think it’s broken.” your plead immediately makes steve’s demeanor soften, feeling a sense of ‘connection’ with you. “mine too.” his voice is quavering, tone wobbly and shaken. you could already feel the matching thump of your heart and pussy. little did he know it was all part of your plan as you lead him hand in hand, into the deep woods behind you.

“come with me, just for a little while. it’s what tommy would’ve wanted.” his face scrunches in confusion, but he doesn’t have much time to fully comprehend before you’re pulling at his arm.

—

the kissing is hot and heavy, it’s rushed and sloppy. the two of you are desperate to get to completely different things. teeth clinking into one another’s with desperation, his hands are latched to your lower hips in an attempt to ground himself. you’re pace was quicker for him to comprehend, considering the fact he’d thought you’d be a bit slower, maybe more intimate? but the way you’ve already stripped him from his jacket tells him you aren’t here to waste any time. you place your hands on his neck when you place another messy kiss to his lips. you can feel the thickness of his vains, can feel the way his fresh blood courses through his body. he groans against your lips when you dig your nails in a little too deep in his neck.

he whines pulling back to look at you, hand coming up to his now bruised neck, he can already feel his skin throbbing. “shit y/n, what was that for?” when he places his hands back in your waist, your skin is suddenly super warm unlike before.

you pout in annoyance, this situation taking way longer than you wanted. “m’sorry stevie, you’re just so sexy and-“

“wait— why are you so warm?” he feels a shift, he can’t explain it. it feels almost eerie. the forest is more quiet the usual, he doesn’t even hear the rustling of leaves. he’s snapped out of his wondering thoughts when you place your finger over his lips, “you ask a lot of questions steve.” the bubbly tone in your voice dropped dramatically. eyes low and almost.. lifeless? your tone now hasty, and impatient.

the creaking and snap of a branch makes him jump, the sight of an unknown animal scurrying away makes him pull away from you yet again, grumbling your name. you like the taste of fear on his lips, it’s gonna make this way more enjoyable for you. but right now, his fear is pissing you off. you can physically feel yourself getting weaker, and you need to quicken the paste. you ignore his string of incoherent moans when you finally zip his jeans down and palm him through his boxers. you grin feeling the heaviness against the palm of your hand, “at least you’re hard.”

his eyes snap back to you, brows knitted together and the lines on his forehead deepen. “of course i’m hard, but i’m freaked out too.” you innocently tilt your head to the side before finally pulling him out of his boxers. the cool air from the outside hit straight against his warm length, making him groan. you give his shaft a snug squeeze, looking up at him through your dark lashes. surprisingly his eye contact doesn't break when you start tugging at his cock, the lewd sound of you spitting on it makes him jerk towards you. you dramatically gasp. "jeez stevie, you're so impatient." he's giving you a stupid grin, prepared to respond with a smart remark but he pauses.

the sight of a fox throws him off, then he fixes his eyes on a deer, then a racoon and a few rabbits. before he knows it the two of you are surrounded by wild animals, its fucking creepy. "y/n."

you sigh, bringing the jerking of his dick to a halt. you look around, finally realizing why he made you stop. you shrug giving steve a huffed giggle, "they're waiting." he gawks at you slowly zipping down your yellow and white striped hoodie, soon revealing you had absolutely nothing under it. the sight of your bare chest makes him temporarily forget why he's scared in the first place. you're smiling menacingly at him, lips redder than before. your eyes never leave his when your hoodie falls on the dirt and leaves beneath you.

"ookay?" his words are unsure and dragged, again pushing his questions to the back of his mind when you pull him in for another heated kiss. you waste no time stripping him from his shirt, kissing down his body and back to the previous spot you were at before.

your hands are placed back on his shaft, finally wrapping your warm lips around his tip. he was thick, making it harder than usual to take him down your throat completely, eyes teary when you pull off him with a pop. "do you take steroids like the rest of the jocks? jesus christ, steve." the way you spew your words are sharp, but he ignored your insult, placing his hand on your cheek. "baby if you slowed down, it'd be easier to take." he flinches when you slap his hand off you.

you take him in again without warning, his head falling back on his shoulders, his breath is quickening, heart thumping. you can feel your saliva froth around the ring of your lips, spit seeping through and dribbling on the ground. steve is already hazy, already close to cumming. you're disgusted, its barely been five minutes since you put your mouth on him. you abruptly pull off of him yet again, his head snaps towards you, confusion written on his face.

"do you miss tommy?"

he freezes at his now, dead friends name. he nearly forgot why he was here with you in the first place, so caught up in his lust and fear. you watch how his face contorts as he searches for his words. “of course i do.”

your stare lingers, lips twitching in that same evil smile from earlier. “well you’re gonna see your buddy real soon.”

he’s eyeing you again, blinking over your face to study your features. why the fuck are you bringing that up now? doesn’t seem like the right time if he’s honest, kind of makes this whole situation more awkward that what it already is. “what you mean like in heaven someday?” he shrugs.

slowly nodding your head with a sinister smile, “nope.” your pushing him against the tree behind him, he never realized how strong you were. abnormally strong. you’re walking towards him fast, suddenly an awful sent runs through his nose. his heart is racing with sweaty palms, he’s getting ready to defend himself. that is until he’s sees your face.

your mouth grows wide, the sound of a cracking jaw makes his body jump. your mouth nearly engulfs your face, almost fang like teeth sprouting. your skin is pulling at itself, beads of blood spilling on the corners of your mouth. he shouts in complete terror, he tries backing up to run away but quickly remembers he’s pressed against the tree behind him. but it’s too late.

the last thing he sees is your hair covered breast, and hears a loud squawk coming from the pit of your throat. 

finally, finally you get to feed. felt like you’ve been eating forever when you finally sink your teeth into his chest. ripping him from limb to limb, the warmth of his blood coating your throat deliciously. this is just what you needed, and steve harrington tastes just as good as you thought he would.

[blondie20000]

Green Goddess - Bucky Barnes × Jennifer Walters

Bruce Banner's cousin is...Interesting.

She was cute, funny, sweet but also she had a good amount of humor and is quite a little spitfire when she's angry. However that's only one side of her. That is Jennifer Walters her other side She-Hulk...

Bucky's eyes go wide as Jennifer transforms into the She-Hulk. Her breasts become much larger, her hips become more curvy, her thighs become strong and muscular, and her black hair turns long and wavy. Most would scream monster but to Barnes She-Hulk is a Godness.

A green freaking Goddess.

A few whistles come from the crowd as Walters makes her way over to the superheroes. Bruce already has the next round of drinks ready on the table.

"Jen?" Bruce raises his glass and smirks. "You are going all in I see?"

Jennifer takes the glass and smirks back.

"The perks of being a Hulk, I can drink as much as I like."

She knocks back the drink and swallows. She burps and giggles. Her cheeks show a hint of pink. Bucky watched her with interest. His eyes rake up and down her body. Her embarrassed little smile made Bucky grin.

She really is freaking gorgeous.

"I'll probably regret it tomorrow." Jennifer sighs. "The hangover is gonna be a bitch."

"At least you get to experience a hangover." Bucky sips his drink and shakes his head. "I can't even get a buzz."

"How do you relax then?"

Jennifer leans her elbow on the counter and gives the super soldier a curious look. Bucky cranes his head up. He looks into her wide, green curious eyes. Her eyes are so big he can see his reflection in them.

"So?"

She raises her eyebrow. Bucky clears his throat.

"It depends." He shrugs. "Never really had the time to relax Hell I can't even remember the last time I had a n good night's sleep."

Barnes froze when he realized what he said. Jennifer noticed his hesitation and frowns at him.

"That bad huh?"

Bucky takes a gulp of his drink and nods.

"Sometimes I don't even bother."

His voice is quiet and slightly on edge. He didn't even know why he just said all that he barely knows Jennifer but for some reason Barnes found her quite easy to get along with and easy to talk to its like he has known her for years.

"Okay." Jennifer turns and waves. "Bruce, we need your magic over here."

"What are you doing?" Bucky asks.

Jennifer turns to her cousin and gives Barnes a grin.

"We are gonna relax."

So Bruce severed every combination of alcohol. All the beers, cocktails, shots. Bucky and Jennifer drank and spoke for several hours. Jennifer spoke about her job while Bucky talked about the War. Jennifer listened. She nods and hums as Bucky spoke about the entertainment back then the singing, the dancing. He stops and raises an eyebrow at the lawyer.

"Can you dance?"

"Ah it depends really I mean I can twerk."

" Twerk? "

"Yeah its um..." She shakes her head and smiles at his puzzled expression. "Never mind."

"Well umm..." He smiles. "Do you wanna..." He cringed at his tone of voice.

God he is so rusty at this.

"Wait." Jennifer raises her hands. "Here...Now?"

He then shakes his head.

"Uh no sorry don't know what made me think of that."

Jennifer is already out of her seat. She pulls Barnes out of his chair and drags him to the center of the room.

"Wait, I better umm..." Jennifer gestures to herself. "Don't know if I'll keep my balance though but..."

"You're fine." Barnes wraps his arm around her waist. "You don't need to change. You're..."

This is the part where he would compliment the women, flirt with them but Barnes couldn't get the words out he instead goes quiet and silently curses himself.

He really has been out of the game way too long.

Bucky quickly breaks the awkward silence by doing the first twirl. He goes forward and guides Jennifer across the room. Jennifer wraps her long arms around him and ensures she doesn't step on his feet. There were a few giggles and laughter from people the height difference between Walters and Barnes made them look awkward. Jennifer and Bucky didn't care they ignored everyone and carried on.

At times Jennifer did knock over a table or bump into someone else. At one point Jennifer spins round as she goes round she crashes into Bucky. Bucky gets smacked in the face by her chest. Bucky loses his footing slightly and falls forward. Jennifer quickly caught him.

"Bucks? You alright?"

He responded but Jennifer couldn't understand him. His voice is muffled. It was then Jennifer realized that Bucky's head is trapped between her breasts.

Oh!

"Oh shit Bucky I'm sorry I'm so sorry. "

Bucky pulls himself out. He shakes his head. His hair falls in front of his face. He pushes his hair away from his face and frowns at her. His reaction made Jennifer sigh. She's blown it she's definitely fucking blown it.

Then he laughs.

Jennifer looks down and sees Barnes laughing. Not in a horrible way the laughter sounded genuine, he sounded happy. His eyes shone as he laughs and his face lit up. The laugh was contagious Jennifer ended up joining in to.

"No need to apologize." Bucky beamed at her. "At least I had a soft landing right?"

Jennifer rolls her eyes. Bucky's eyes go back on her breasts he quickly snaps them back up to Jennifer's eyes when she sees he is staring.

"Oh I can see you...enjoyed yourself down there."

Jennifer didn't sound sarcastic or offended like she usually would do instead she huffed a smile and joked with him. Bucky is a gentleman he is not like the other assholes and that made Jennifer feel comfortable around him. She enjoyed his company.

She trusted him.

"You know?" Bucky's hand returns to her waist. His hand didn't go any lower again as Jennifer thought he is gentleman. "We could...get out of here and..."

His tongue rolls around his teeth. He looked awkward. Jennifer might not be an expert in dating but she can see Barnes is way out of practice. However despite that Jennifer found it cute he is trying bless him.

Jennifer is a lawyer she can be quite persuasive in getting this conversation moving forward.

"I've had a lot to drink anyway." Jennifer laughs. "And you have as well...Ha...maybe...maybe we can explore other ways in getting you to relax?

Smooth Jen smooth.

Bucky raises an amused brow.

"You have some ideas?"

"Oh definitely."

Bucky goes closer. A flirtatious smirk spreads across his lips.

"I'm all ears. Lets go doll."

Doll!

Jennifer can already feel the heat travelling down there already.

Fuck!

Bucky links his arms with hers. He sees Sam giving him a thumbs up. Bucky rolls his eyes at him and leads Jennifer out of the room.

Meanwhile Jennifer went out with one thought crossing her mind.

I'm gonna fuck Sergeant Barnes

Might not be Captain America but Jennifer had to admit Sergeant James Barnes is a big fucking win. She looks down at Bucky's ass and hums with delight.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

.......................

After going to the hotel room Jennifer babbled about needing to change again and again joked about not keeping her balance but Bucky silences her and ensures its okay he likes her just the way she is.

"You don't need to hide." He trails his fingers through her hair. "You don't need to be ashamed. You're..."

Just say it Barnes.

"Beautiful."

Jennifer blushed.

"Green must be your favorite color."

"It is now." He smirked.

Jennifer raises her eyebrow.

Very smooth.

"But what if I hurt you? "

"Super soldier darling. " Bucky nods. "You can't hurt me. I can take it. Now come on, don't be shy."

"Shy?" Jennifer snorted. "I'm a lawyer. I'm not shy."

Bucky's hand goes on her arm.

"Then show me."

He growled the last part. His voice is low and deep. His eyes are full of hunger and lust. Jennifer bites her lip.

Fuck it!

She then pulls the super soldier in and kisses him. Bucky responds and pushes his tongue in. His tongue rolls along with hers. They kiss each other passionately. After several moments Jennifer breaks the kiss and goes back with a worried expression on her face. Bucky moaned at the loss of contact. He steps forward but Jennifer stops him.

"Wait!" Jennifer sighs. "We need to set some rules if we are gonna do this."

"Rules? Why?"

Jennifer gives him a look.

"Would you like some Hulk Super Soldier babies?"

"Uh no."

"Then you can probably guess what rule number 1 is gonna be."

Bucky rolls his eyes.

"Where are they?"

"In my bag."

As Bucky is looking through her bag Jennifer lists the other rules. No scratching, no biting, anything that risks cutting her skin is strictly forbidden and condom must be worn at all times. This is Jennifer's first time having sex as the She-Hulk she didn't know the risks or effects and she didn't want anything bad to happen to Bucky. If her blood got into his system...

Well... look what happened to Emil Bronsky.

Bucky suggested she was overreacting and maybe he's right maybe she is overreacting but if anything happened to Barnes she wouldn't forgive herself and she really didn't want to have Super Soldier Hulk babies.

The image of little green babies crawling around made Jennifer cringe.

Hell no.

"Alright, so how do you want to do this?" He asked.

"Umm..."

They decided to take turns removing each layer of their own clothing. As Jennifer points out with his super strength he could hurt her. Her skin is thick and strong but she is definitely not underestimating Barnes she is not taking the risk. Bucky respected her decision and removed his shirt. Jennifer's eyes go on his body.

"Damm." She muttered to herself.

He grins at her reaction.

Jennifer removes her jacket followed by her shirt. Bucky became more hungrier and desperate as she exposes her body to him. He wanted to reach out and rip that bra off her and devour her body whole.

"Ahem."

Bucky snaps out of his trance and removes his belt and pushes his pants down.

Jennifer responded by immediately by pushing her pants down.

Bucky steps forward and pushes his hand down her panties. A chuckle escapes his lips.

"Already soaking wet, you just couldn't help yourself."

"You're the one to talk." Jennifer trails her fingers over his manhood. Bucky groans and closes his eyes tight. "Uh huh." Jennifer smirks. "He is impatient."

Jennifer suddenly gasps as Bucky pulls her bra off. She glares at him but he smirks.

"I was careful."

Jennifer looks at her destroyed bra.

"I just had that made for me."

"Oh..."

"Its okay. I have a spare one."

The couple look at each other again.

Suddenly Bucky pushes Jennifer up against the wall and locks his lips with hers. The impact sent a vase flying of the table. The couple carried on where they left off they kissed each other, they pulled at each other's hair. Bucky tried to go for her panties but Jennifer quickly goes forward and sends them into the opposite wall. Bucky slams into the wall. Cracks form and spread up towards the ceiling. Before Bucky could acknowledge it Jennifer's lips is back on his again.

Bucky then gasps as Jennifer rips his underwear off. She holds up the underwear that are now spilt in half.

"That's for the bra by the way."

He gives her a challenging look.

Jennifer smirks.

Oh he has no idea what's gonna happen next.

Jennifer wraps her big hand around his balls. She then starts to massage his balls.

Bucky grits his teeth and he becomes tense. Jennifer kept going. A smirk forms on her lips as she increased the pace.

"Fuck!" Bucky shakes his head. "Jennifer...Ah!"

Jennifer kept going. She can sense the super soldier is getting desperate he wanted to get inside of her. Jennifer decided to let him wait. As She-Hulk she felt more confident more in control she will decide where this little session goes between them.

He continued to swear and curse her name. She started to stoke his length. Her finger is nearly the same length of his dick.

Holy...

Bucky could fight back. He could get her on that bed right now and fuck her until dawn however Bucky didn't want to. Part of him felt attracted to this strong, domineering side of the She-Hulk he liked being challenged by someone who has similar strength to him. It was hot it was feisty Bucky didn't want this to end.

Bucky felt himself getting close. Just as he is about to reach his climax Jennifer stops and lets go.

"Fuck!" Bucky throws his head back and bites down hard on his lip.

"Not yet." Jennifer purrs at him. "Also."

She throws the condom in his face. Bucky watched as she swayed her hips towards the bed. She turns her head and does a 'Come here ' gesture.

That made Bucky put his condom on quick.

He lies down on the bed. She climbs on top of him. Bucky's eyes widen when she shows her wet, green pussy.

Its huge!

Bucky needed that inside of him right now.

Jennifer runs her large hands over his body. She is in awe as she runs circles around his torso.

"Come to Mama."

She then leans forward and kisses his lips. Then she makes her way down his body. She took her time with his arm. She runs her fingers on his arm. Her eyes are wide with curiosity and fascination. She then kisses his arm it was slow and gentle. Bucky turns his head towards her. She looks up and smiles a him. A look of understanding and acceptance showed in her eyes. She wasn't bothered about his arm, she didn't care about his past what mattered is what is happening now and right now two super powered beings are here in this hotel room making love.

And it is incredible.

Jennifer lifts his hand and puts it on her breast. She gives an reassuring look. Bucky sits up as Jennifer moves closer. He places his other hand on her breast. He squeezes them. Jennifer moans. He kept going. He squeezes her hardened nipples and sends a trail of kisses from her collarbone all the way to the bottom of her stomach. At one point he goes to wrap his mouth one of the nipples but her worried face makes him stop.

So instead he uses his tongue. He licks her rolls his tongue along her abs. Each stroke from his tongue sent a wave of shock through Jennifer. She feels the heat forming at the bottom of her belly again. His little flicks with his tongue especially around her chest made her let out a series of incoherent words.

Eventually she pushes down on the bed. She straddles him. A low moan escapes her lips as she pushed Bucky deeper and deeper inside of her. Jennifer leans forward and lifts her hips slightly before getting Bucky deep inside again. Bucky lifts his hips to allow him to meet Jennifer for each thrust.

A series of noises and moans echoed in the room. Bucky throws his head back and let's out a curse as Jennifer continued to ride him. The couple eventually increased in pace. Jennifer jumps up and down. The bed squeaks under her weight. Each thrust caused more cracks to form on the wall. Ornaments, pictures and mirrors shake then they fall and smash on the floor.

"Bucks!" Jennifer gasped. "I'm close!"

Bucky increases his grip on her hair. He tugs her hair forward and gives her a devilish smirk.

"Same here doll."

" Okay. " She replied with a shaky sigh. "Okay!"

She rests her hands on the headboard and starts to reach her climax. The couple let out a cry as they both let it out. The final thrust causes the bed to tremble. Then the bed breaks and crashes on the ground. Jennifer squeals as she loses her balance and falls on the super soldier.

"Oww!"

She lifts her head up and looks round. Her mouth turns into an O when she sees the damage they have caused.

"Oh we are screwed."

A muffled response comes from below. Jennifer looks down. She then rolls her eyes.

"Seriously?"

She pulls Bucky out of her chest.

"Seriously what's with you and my breasts?"

Bucky gives her an innocent look.

Jennifer shakes her head and rolls to the side next to him.

"You seen the mess?"

Bucky looks round and nods.

"Yeah."

"Well?"

He shrugs.

"We'll deal with it in the morning."

His eyes go on her pool of cum.

"Don't even think about it." She warned him.

"Okay okay." He raises his hands in surrender. "I need to go and get rid of this."

He slides of the bed with the soaking wet condom in his hand. He then feels a hard slap on his ass. He turns round and raises his eyebrow. Jennifer shrugs.

"Sorry I always wanted to do that."

"Fair enough."

He then goes in the bathroom and closes the door behind him. Few moments later Bucky comes back and he stops at the bed.

Jennifer is back in human form and she is already fast asleep.

She turns on her side and snores loudly. Bucky huffs a smile.

Yeah she's gonna have a Hell of hangover in the morning.

.............

The next morning Bucky woke up and quickly got dressed. Jennifer is still asleep. Bucky assumed she will be out for quite a while.

He will be a gentleman and go and fetch her a nice cup of hot steaming coffee and some pills to help with the migraine she will wake up with.

The damages...

Bucky will deal with that later.

The super soldier then slips his jacket on and leaves the room. He finds Sam and Bruce in the dining room. Sam watched as Bucky walks over to the coffee machine and makes two cups of coffee.

"Soooooo." Sam leans on his elbow and gives Bucky a smirk. "How did it go?"

Bucky pours the sugar in and stirs into the coffee. Sam looked like a teenage girl waiting for some hot exclusive gossip. Bucky knew there is no point in denying it Sam will keep pushing for answers. So instead Bucky gives his friend a grin.

"Bit sore in some places but overall I feel great."

"What happened?" Bruce looked puzzled.

"So she's hard work?" Sam asked with a grin.

"Well." Bucky shrugs. "She's a lawyer after all."

Bruce continued to look confused. Bucky grabs a bottle of water and tucks it under his arm. He then picks up the two cups of coffee.

"Wait you are not staying for breakfast?"

"I don't think she will be up for it."

"Ahh." Sam said with realization. "Well tell her I said hi and I'll see you guys later. "

"I'll do that."

"Oh and Bucky."

"Yeah? "

Sam smiles a genuine smile.

"I'm happy for you. You deserve this."

Bucky gave him a small smile. He then turns and leaves the room.

As Bucky went past a specific scent travelled up Bruce's nostrils. Bruce knew that smell.

Sergeant Barnes smelt of sex.

The conversation between Sam and Bucky started to replay in Bruce's head.

Then all the pieces started to click together. Last night, sex, lawyer.

Bruce's eyes widen with realization. Images of his cousin and the super soldier started to flash across Bruce's mind. The images are so vivid and graphic Bruce can already hear the grunts, the moans and the roars.

"Oh God!"

"All good Banner?" Sam said with an amused look on his face.

Bruce looks down at his breakfast.

That disturbing imagery has took away his appetite.

"Banner?"

"Uh I think I need to um...I'm just gonna..."

Bruce stands up and quickly goes out of the room. Sam shrugs.

"Oh well more for me then."

He pulls Bruce's plate towards him and begins to eat.

Elsewhere Bruce spends the rest of day doing various mediation exercises wanting to cleanse his mind from all that X-Rated context.

Then a voice interrupts him.

"Hey Bruce!"

Jennifer waves through the glass at him. Bucky is standing next to her with his arm around her shoulders. Bruce blinks. He then raises his hand and waves back. Jennifer grins and she goes off with Bucky down the hallway. Bruce looks down. The images all come flooding back to his mind.

"Argh!"

Bruce drops his head into his hands and sighs heavily.

Great just fucking great.

The End

[villanevehaus]

Ch XII

Amused but not surprised to find that Eve’s love language is violence. So much kicking.

Enjoyed the “Russian smile” call out. I like thinking that it’s Eve’s way of seeing Oksana, even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she’s seeing.

I’m fascinated with how maladjusted Eve is and am enjoying that we continue to get little morsels about her childhood. Everyone experiences trauma differently, but contrasting her and Villanelle’s memories… it’s wild seeing where they’ve ended up.

Makes me happy to read about the pair of them flirting and playing together. Are they both chock full of cruelty and homicide? Sure. But it’s super cute.

Awkward acknowledgment and gratitude for the body contact/compression. Hopeful for an upcoming perspective swap where we can read how it made Eve feel, if Eve even knows.

Is it weird how much I like their interpersonal confrontations? I feel like fights with Niko centered on Niko’s needs and feelings, but when Eve gets testy with Villanelle, Villanelle pushes back differently. Villanelle centers the dialogue in a way that forces Eve to acknowledge her own feelings—and it makes Eve recognize how she’s treating Villanelle without making her more defensive. Cathartic as fuck.

Another one of Villanelle’s cheeky wordplays. “…fucked the life out of someone… .” Hooo boy, did she ever. Love, love, love it.

Oksana’s breakdown about family. :((( How are these moments so much harder to read than descriptions of fingers digging into intercostal muscle tissue? You know the scene in season 1 where Eve says Villanelle has earned the right to kill whoever? That’s how I feel about Oksana whenever I reread Oksana or Uncle or little moments like this family scene. You go ahead and murder whoever you want, sweet girl. *gentle pat on the head*

I’ll be honest, I have never liked Hélène’s character. Every moment she’s in the show, my brain screams SKIP. But I trust you and look forward to how you’ll leverage her character for something interesting and intrinsic to the plot.

As ever, thank you for a lovely chapter after the last few weeks you’ve had. I have this saying, “One too many rides at the fair”—whether it’s good or bad things, sometimes we experience one too many things and it ends up overwhelming. It sounds like you had a lot of rides at the fair. I’ve had a lot of rides at the fair lately, too, and it was such a kindness to still have a new chapter of TME to read. Really, thank you, haus.

tme anon

Postscript - let me know what you think of The Cell, if you get around to watching it. I triggered my own worms and have rewatched it twice myself since mentioning it.

TME: i am so glad you like their conflicts bc thats exactly what vil (and i) are trying to do! eve may not know how shes feeling but she sure is feeling it.

THE CELL: here are the notes i took while watching it in the dark on my Big Screen:

- JENNIFER LOPEZ

- VINCE VAUGHN!??!?!?

- VINCENT D'NOFRIO?!?!?

- music by howard shore hello???

- what da hell

- "directed by tarsem singh" yea that tracks

- please tell me that [carl] isnt vince vaughn w hair

- i love when movies toss u in and are like good luck!!! :) feels very "this is MY movie and I get to make the sense"

- jlo being frustrated that she cant sleep while in a room that has all the lights AND the television on. girl the call is coming from inside the house!!!

- how is he spiking himself up like that wadda hell

- oh hey its the guy from breaking bad

- oh my god its vince vaughn with hair

- "i thought you were gonna go home, get some rest, clean up" [brushing his teeth in the break room] "i did" - VERY tme eve

- im loving the camera work in this

- oh my god vincent d'onofrio is carl???

- yet again arts and crafts from found materials are demonized </3

- the cinnamontography :D

- i have decided that catherine and the other scientist lady are gal pals

- the water scene??? the baptism w the crane shots?? i go crazy i go stupid

- HORSE GLASS PANES!!!!!!!!!! giving damien hirst (neg) (fuck damien hirst)

- already fucking hard w this movie ngl

- vince vaughn is so bad at smoking cigarettes wtf why are so many of his butts half smoked

- what if we hooked carl and edward up like what would happen beyond Horrible time for edward. dyou think it'd throw adult/god carl off to have another boy in the house

- uh oh [do not remember when this was]

- i GASPED when the new collar came out

- vince vaughn has entered the chat

- as a bitch who Exclusively has lucid dreams i choose to believe i would be excellent at this

- vfx off da fucken CHAINS

- jlo dont chase the rabbit or whatever they say in pacific rim

- vulture :D

- this is one of if not the wildest movies ive ever seen

- cant believe thats vincent d'onofrio disemboweling vince vaughn in front of sexy jlo

- i want props from this

- they simply dont do costumes like this anymore

- or sets

- you guys are idiots obviously the weird shape line drawing thing goes with his back hooks come on man

- theyre girlfriends your honour

- said "whoa" out loud when adult carl's voice came outta child carl's mouth

- dude this movie fucks crazy hard tysm for showing it to me

- as someone who used to have nipple piercings i feel for carl

- me got boy, boy me got :(

- we love pieta imagery!!!

- i am forcing my gf to watch this w me tomorrow

- :(

- :(((

- SHE'S KEEPING HIS DOG i am emotional

- this movie rly said there is no escaping the inner child

i will have better, more succinct thoughts once the worms have had more time to digest and i have shared them w my gf but oh my god i loved it!!! so stylish, so unique, so?????!?!?! SO!!!!!!!! one of the movies of all time truly tysm for reccomending it to me

[bigdickevans]

i watched smile and wrote down my live reaction if anyone cares lol. long story short it was better than i thought it would be, the death/spooky effects were fun but it was kinda heavy handed with the mental health commentary

i went into this thinking it would be funny bad but. goddammit. ok i liked the opening.

the fucking back and forth shots of the main lady and the college girl’s faces, it set me up!!

then when it showed college girl had gotten up. idk man something about how empty and sterile the office is wigged me out even more.

and her cutting her neck was neato

at the title card now and alright goddamn it didn’t have to flash like that yeesh

oh also it sounds like this is just gonna be it follows but with suicide instead of sex

lord they’re trying to do mental health commentary. great.

ugh if i end up liking this movie i’m gonna be embarrassed

that cat’s dead. and nooo i don’t know that because i checked doesthedogdie.com

i was hoping the cat would smile lmao

WAIT THE BOYFRIEND

WHO IS HE

SLKJFLKSDF IT’S A-TRAIN

i’ve decided this takes place in The Boys universe

sorry i got so distracted by a-train that i forgot to say that main lady seeing the dead girl in the dimly lit kitchen did freak me out.

we’re back to the mental health commentary.

why does the cat have such a big fucking bowl

Young cop(?) dude gives me the creeps.

Haha sassy black coworker!! very funny and cool el oh el

ooooo i liked her passing the rooms and having to backtrack

bro is vibing stop snapping

im so sorry but this carl actor has a really silly voice

i feel like this boss also looks familiar

oh he was in designated survivor ok

actually i’ve been kinda constipated so maybe if i watch this on the toilet i’ll shit myself and finally be free

jesus this lady just can’t stop breaking glasses

none of this would’ve happened if you just KEPT YOUR HOUSE WELL LIT

WAIT STOP EVERYTHING

YOUNG COP CREEP IS THE EMO GUY FROM JENNIFER’S BODY

wow what a cast

i sorta missed the whole bit where she listened to the recording and heard stuff, i was unclogging my toilet

main lady and blonde bitch are sisters?? wow that went straight over my head until now. i knew they had to be related in some way? but i kinda thought the husband and the main lady were siblings

dead cat moment

love that they felt the need to clarify it was her cat lmao

when the boy picked it up it looked like really bad cgi

DAMN

TABLE SLAM KO

yeah babe sometimes you just gotta yell it out

SLKDFJLS THE PAIN ASSESSMENT CHART

im sorry… mental health preachy message aside, are you telling me the fiance had to look up the fact that mental illness can be hereditary??

for some reason i feel like the main character’s spiral happened way too fast

but to be fair i guess she does have that trauma with her mom, so maybe even though she works in healthcare she’d still be more susceptible to this line of thinking?

the number of times they say “crazy” in this movie is getting ridiculous

love a good smashed in head, i appreciate they didn’t add a loud noise with it considering the amount of jumpscares in this fucking thing

thank god horrible events always happen to artists so we can have ooky spooky drawings

these “coincidences” are so obviously connected it’s ludicrous that literally nobody noticed until now

I mean cops being inept is nothing new i guess

main character is being? unbelievably unreasonable here?? yes, calling a mental health professional is what you’re SUPPOSED to do when someone around you starts acting like this

i thought one of the whole points of this smile demon thing was that it could look like anyone? they haven’t really been utilizing that as much as i assumed they would which is a bummer

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

loved that moment with the sister at the car

it is kinda neat that the death has to be super dramatic so it inflicts as much trauma as possible

but also couldn’t you just do something traumatic that doesn’t involve murder or suicide?

like pretend you murdered someone or killed yourself in a crazy violent way in front of someone so they believe it happened, orchestrate a big practical joke

the demon voice is goofy

putting a knife that big up your sleeve seems like an atrocious idea

LMAO AWESOME DREAM

it’s like in chainsaw man. the whole door thing with denji. i’m not elaborating bc i don’t wanna spoil anyone.

the mom is kinda hot

lol i like how slowly rose closed the door

ooooooo!!!! suddenly tall mom!!!

i’m a tad disappointed with the monster design :/

HELL YEAH you thought a house fire could kill a demon?? lmaoooo

I TAKE IT BACK THE MONSTER DESIGN LOOKS RAD

rose the throat goat

hell yeah love a good person burning

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e6 golden time (w. meredith glynn)

again the big blowup between cas and dean in the recap, we gonna actually see him this time?

i was getting all dubious over the witch breaking in and tossing rowena's apartment so, glad they had whatever hex-y business kill her eventually :p

little mini aw moment that cas is going by clarence. rip meg

conflicted that they brought back eileen. really disliked how unceremoniously they killed her off to begin with (slash at all). this is the problem with this show, they rack up all these recurring characters and hey we can't keep them all around so we gotta clear the decks sometimes and the good ones get chopped along with the meh ones

and she was in hell? buh. ok.

(wiki)

Dean tells Eileen that she can't go to Heaven because she has been in Hell, mentioning how Kevin Tran recently found this out. Belphegor told Dean and Sam in 15.02 Raising Hell that souls that had been to Hell could not get into Heaven. When Sam and Dean pointed out that John Winchester and Bobby Singer had been in Hell and then went to Heaven, Belphegor concluded that it was because God had intervened due to liking the Winchesters back then.

no surprise here but calling this dumbass edgelord whump shit :p add some new random/cruel rules for no reason other than causing hurt and conflict now

SAM All right, look, if it's what Eileen wants, then... Maybe we can go to Rowena's place and look for a crystal, or something. I've been meaning to go there anyways after, uh... You know. DEAN Great. Do that. SAM Wait, wait. You're not coming with? DEAN It's a milk run. SAM You're... You know what, Dean, ever since God got back, you've been acting like there's nothing we can do, like nothing matters, but we can do this. Man, this matters. DEAN And that's why you're gonna kick it in the ass.

so dean's depressed and being an ass again, just slightly friendlier version i guess

ha, jennifer spence again! i recognized her from a very small part in the killing when she was in 7x14. cas is gonna work a case, i guess

ah, so also another reason to have dean bail on the trip, so sam and eileen can have some alone time

SAM Yeah. I've been there, too... uh, Hell. A long time ago. You try and forget, but it gets inside you. Talking helps. EILEEN I can't. Not yet.

a) so who did/does sam talk to hell about? b) can't help but think that not yet - when, because sounds like she doesn't have much time

so i guess really no other hunters working in the bunker anymore. which i mean, preferable. but :p

CASTIEL Hello? DEAN Cas. Sam's been trying to call you. CASTIEL I know. DEAN Did you check his messages? CASTIEL Nope. DEAN Right. Smart. Why would you? Look, I don't know if you care or not, but, uh... God... Chuck... is back on the board, so watch yourself. And check your damn messages.

10/10 for castiel grumpiness

very cute

ok, so bringing eileen back via spell making her flesh that rowena was working on. sure why not

and sam got hexxed too

ha, and keegan conner tracy who was a recurring character on the magicians who also has been on the show before (2x07 and 4x18), and as a witch -- and! jodelle ferland who i knew from dark matter and twilight eclipse was in 1x19

they seem to be bringing back a lot of actors who were in small parts in prior episodes, but usually i don't notice because i didn't know them from elsewhere. just funny that there's 3 actors this episode that i did a hey i know you post on

EMILY I yelled at her, and she turned my tongue into a snake. I still have the scars where it bit me.

lol what even. since the super special spell is like, special because it works without a body why does this other witch even need it. got a body, just rehousing the soul, no? whateverrr

here i was thinking cool, a jay gruska episode and i haven't complained about the music once! but i think mostly because it's been standard music that i don't particularly like but i know is part of the standard repertoire. but alas, this dumbass showdown of witches/ghosts/hunters in the hallway came with some dumbass music :p

MELLY But now you're leaving. CASTIEL Yeah. If I stay, nothing changes. It's time for me to get back in the game.

cas learned his little it feels good to be helping people lesson so he can go make up with the guys?

very fancy bath situation they got there

well all right then

SAM She, uh... She's asleep. She had a big day. DEAN Well, so did you. Hex bags. New body. So, what, are you some kind of witch now? SAM Nah, I got lucky. DEAN Yeah. I just wish we knew about that spell for Mom. You did good today, man. I did jack. SAM You killed a witch, saved my ass. DEAN Yeah, I guess so.

that spell was way less dramatic than the one rowena did in the field trying to bring back mary. listen dean, if you don't wanna feel bad about not helping enough, then help more :p

SAM You know what, I've been thinking about something you said, about how we don't make the rules, and you're right. We don't. We never have. But that doesn't mean we can just give up. DEAN Oh, come on, man. SAM We have moves to make here, Dean. We do. I mean, you think Chuck wanted me to shoot him? Of course not. DEAN You sure about that? Maybe that was part of the plan, you know? That's the thing, man. I don't know what's God and what isn't, and it's driving me crazy. SAM All I'm saying is we'll find a way to beat him. We will. I don't know how yet, but we will 'cause we're the guys who break the rules. But I can't do it without you. I can't. Just like I couldn't do it today without you. I need my brother.

his disillusionment with feeling like no matter what they do, it's rigged is definitely understandable. but there's no resisting when sam saying he needs him

curious where they're gonna go with eileen, since they set that up as a little bit of a beginning love interest thing with sam before axing her before

[hannahsmusings]

Renee

*my heart feels ready to burst from my chest as I watch her fingers go up to her lips, wondering if this was a tick that she always had or if it was just exasperated by the alcohol and her exhaustion* *I run my fingers through her hair gently as she falls back asleep, smiling down at her as she made sweet little noises* *I turn onto my back as carefully as I can, reaching out to grab my phone off the bedside table and seeing it was already nearly 10, stretching my limbs out and yawning, feeling thoroughly rested and I knew it had to do with the body next to mine* *I carefully extricate myself from her arms, replacing my body with a pillow, giggling as she immediately cuddled into it, going into the bathroom and using the toilet before washing my face and brushing my teeth, knowing I’d have to get her up soon, we had lunch plans at 12 and she’d be moving sluggishly plus needing to corral the other girls* *I walk back out to the room, smiling as I see she kicked the blankets off her and was fully koala-ed around the pillow, her sometimes being a chaotic sleeper but I was used to it, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, hating to bother but I knew I had too* Jennifer, cutie, you gotta get up. *I reach out and run my fingers up and down her back, wanting to coax her from sleep gently* 

________________________________________

*stirs a little as you move, whimpering a little and my face scrunching into a frown, it only relaxing a little when the pillow is put in your place, cuddling around it and letting out a satisfied sigh as I curl up in a ball* *can’t seem to get properly comfortable after you left, rolling around a little and kicking the blankets off as I hold onto the pillow, face still screwed up a little and pouting as I roll onto my front* *your hand movement on my back starting to stir me, furrowing my brow and groaning quietly as I bury my face further into the pillow, trying to hold onto the sleep as long as possible but my back was tingling a little, letting out a whine as your words come to my attention and frowning as I shake my head* Noooooo. *whimpers, head beginning to pound as I push my back into your hands and one of my hands reaching out for you* Don’t wanna....*pouts and huffs a little, voice thick with sleep and only squinting one eye open to look at you, everything a little blurry * My head hurts. *pouts a little and rubs at my head, reaching for you and finding my body cuddling closer to you before freezing, wondering for a moment why I was doing that, it seeming instinctual and it surprising me, pulling my hand back and sitting up a little with a frown, everything coming back to me from last night and realising how needy I’d been, groaning a little and hiding my face behind my hands, feeling embarrassed at how drunk I’d been* Oh god. *groans a little*

[slytherinlesbians]

Whumptober 2023, Day 13: "I don't feel so good."

fandom: criminal minds | characters: spencer reid (centric), aaron hotchner, david rossi, jennifer jaraeu, emily prentiss, derek morgan | ship: none | trigger warnings: gunshot wound recovery, vomiting | content: spencer recovers from an injury sustained on a case, team as a family, dad!hotch | word count: 724.

Everyone breathes soundly for the first time in days when Spencer finally falls asleep on the couch of the jet. Hotch watches the kid carefully from where he and Rossi sit, debriefing the case. It’s been a rough 48 hours; Spencer did an incredible job cracking the case and taking down the unsub, but managed to be shot in the abdomen in the process. There were EMTs on sight, thank God, but it was still touch and go for a minute there. They all stuck around in the hospital, tagging each other in and out like a relay team to go shower and sleep after the case was finally over, unable to bring themselves to leave Spencer alone, even though he’s spent the majority of the last couple of days sleeping. 

They’re finally on their way home now, and it’s like they can all breathe for the first time. JJ, Morgan and Emily, satisfied their friend is safe, are playing a quiet but competitive game of cards nearby. Rossi hands Hotch a glass of scotch and settles in beside him. He sips it gratefully, still not taking his eyes off of the sleeping young doctor for more than a few minutes. 

“He’s alright, Aaron,” Rossi says softly when he notices Hotch’s attention wavering from their conversation for the fifth or sixth time in the last fifteen minutes. Hotch sighs. 

“I know, I know,” he wipes a hand tiredly across his face. “It’s too easy to worry about him.” 

Rossi grins. “Paternal instincts, huh?” 

Hotch glares at him. “I’m sorry, who was the one yelling at doctors?” 

“That was Morgan.” 

“That’s odd. I definitely recall the yelling being in Italian.” 

“Very funny.” 

They quip back and forth for a while, eventually falling into their case debrief with the nearby low hum of Morgan, JJ and Emily quietly accusing each other of cheating in their card game so as not to wake Spencer.

Unfortunately, the peace doesn’t last. Not ten minutes later, Spencer jerks awake with a gasp, eyes wide, skin chalk white. They all turn immediately at the noise. 

“I don’t feel so good,” Spencer chokes out. Hotch and JJ are the first to their feet, the two parents in the team recognising the look on Spencer’s face immediately. Hotch is first to him with a sick bag, which he holds in front of Spencer’s face as Spencer throws up heavily into it. JJ strokes gentle circles on Spencer’s back. 

Spencer gasps and heaves and whimpers, the bile burning his throat and the effort causing hot tears to stream down his cheeks. 

“H-hate it,” he mumbles between heaves. “Hate it, hate it, hate it-,” 

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” JJ says, knowing full well this sensation is more uncomfortable for Spencer with his OCD than most. “You’re doing good, just get it out.” 

“Is that normal?” Morgan asks nervously, watching Spencer heave into the bag. “Do we need to get him to a hospital when we land?” 

“Actually,” Spencer chokes out, “nausea and vomiting are quite common after a gunshot wound to the abdomen. Research shows-,” he cuts himself off, retching again, and the others all wince. 

“Save the statistics for later,” Hotch advises after a moment, when Spencer collapses back down with exhaustion, grimacing at the pain from his abdomen and the residual anxiety he feels from throwing up. Spencer nods, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs, his whole body rigid with discomfort. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Emily says, taking the bag off JJ to dispose of. “It’s okay.” 

She returns after a moment with a bottle of water for him, and Hotch unscrews the cap, handing it to Spencer. “Small sips,” he says, and Spencer nods. 

Satisfied Spencer’s alright, the others go back to their seats, throwing the occasional worried glance at their friend, but reassure themselves to see Hotch still sitting with him. 

“I don’t know if I said it before,” Hotch says quietly as Spencer washes his mouth out with water. “But you did a fantastic job on this case. We wouldn’t have solved it if it weren’t for you.” Spencer gives him a wan smile. 

“Thanks,” he says hoarsely. His eyes begin to droop closed again after a moment, and Hotch helps him get comfortable. “Stay?” he’s already half asleep again, but the request is clear. 

“Of course,” Hotch says.

[billgavemeextrachips]

Chapter Two: A Husband’s Errand

Word count: 2,751

Chapter 1 here

A/N: Not sure how to tag this one, since the overall work will eventually be a Twelve x River babyfic. However, the first two chapters are a kind of prologue, and rewrite of “The Return of Dr. Mysterio.”

**

“Manussan geno-chelation.”

 The Doctor placed the vial gently, almost reverently, on the table. Grant eyed it warily.

 “Developed by one of the most scientifically advanced civilizations in the history of the universe.”

 “Really? Then why’s it got the hospital symbol on the vial?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “They have a thing for snakes. Anyway. Each dose is customized for species of intended use. It identifies nonindigenous genetic mutations, repairs them at the cellular level.” He gestured as he spoke, eyes alight with the glee of explaining something complex and wondrous. “It then flushes the causal agent of those mutations from the patient’s body, via the digestive tract. I’ve managed to acquire a single dose. For human use, obviously.”

 “So you’re saying… I drink this, and my powers will go away?”

 “Not only that; the gemstone will finally pass!”

 Grant felt uneasy. He didn’t like the way the Doctor leaned over the vial, eyes alight, hands poised in front of him like claws. He looked like a scavenging bird…

 And he was scavenging Grant for the gemstone. Grant was sure of it. After all, if this was only about removing his superheroic burden, he could just stop using his powers. God knows he had enough practice at that.

 “Why do you want the gemstone?” he asked the Doctor.

 “Same as I told you three years ago: the restabilize the time field around New York.”

 “That was twenty-four years ago.”

 The Doctor scoffed. “Yeah, for you maybe.”

 “Okay. So, what’s so special about New York?”

 Nardole set down his raspberry crown and piped up. “Well, you see, his wife-“

 “Shut up.” The Doctor fixed Nardole with a glare that could kill small prey.

 “I just think he’d be more sympathetic if he knew-“

 “That’s exactly why you need to shush,” snapped the Doctor. “This should be Grant’s decision only. Unencumbered by the needs of others.”

 As Grant took the vial, he wondered to himself, Is there such a thing? A major decision unencumbered by the needs of others?

 He thought of all the people he’d rescued over the past nine years. Especially the kids. But then he thought of Lucy and Jennifer. What would happen to them if the mob figured out who the Ghost was? Or those creeps at Harmony Shoal? Then again, what if he got rid of his superpowers, and then the baddies discovered his alter-ego anyway?

 But wouldn’t it be nice to finally stop tamping himself down all the time, stop hiding, stop feeling like a freak?...

 Sensing the tension in the room, Jennifer began to fuss and squirm in her highchair. Nardole clucked soothingly and scooped her onto his hip. The Doctor sat and watched Grant think.

 “I’m assuming,” said Grant, “that if I take this, my powers are gone permanently.”

 “Yes. Unless you swallow the stone again, in the same mindset as the first time.”

 “Will it hurt?”

 “I, ah-“ the Doctor blanched. “The vendor didn’t say. But he did assure me that it won’t kill you.”

 Grant groaned, took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s gonna hurt.”

 “What makes you say that?”

 “People don’t say ‘don’t worry, this won’t kill you’ unless it’s really gonna hurt.”

 The Doctor grabbed a croissant and sat back to ponder this. Jennifer’s fussing kicked up a notch. Grant stood and took Jennifer from Nardole. With his free hand, he took the vial and slipped it into the pocket of his flannel shirt.

 “I’ll think about it.”

 The Doctor’s brows leapt out of their furrow, his whole expression opening with relief. “Thank you, Grant. That’s all I ask. Well, that, and could you have an answer for me within the next day or so? I really do need to get home to my wife.”

 And with that, he and Nardole gathered themselves and left. Whether to investigate Harmony Shoal, or to engage in some other time-and-space hijinks, Grant had no idea. They left the uneaten pastries behind as a kind of thank-you. That was nice at least.

 As he tended Jennifer that day, Grant had a lot to think about. But one question kept bouncing into his mind, no matter how much he volleyed it off as irrelevant.

 What sort of woman would marry Dr. Mysterio?

 **

 By that evening, Grant had made a decision. Not about the vial of gene-fixing stuff: that was still way too new and weird to have sunk in. But he’d decided to tell Lucy who he really was. He had it all planned out. Picnic on the roof on a clear June night. Wine and candles. He’d start the off interview/date/whatever-this-was as The Ghost. But he’d be down-to-earth, relatable. Let her know just a little bit of how hard it was to be a superhero. Then, when the time was right, he'd take off the mask, put on his glasses…

 It might have actually worked, if those creeps from Harmony Shoal hadn’t barged in to give him a brain transplant. They tried to unmask him in front of Lucy. He panicked and took off. Literally. Into the stratosphere.

 He’d already turned around to save her when he heard Mr. Brock ask, “Isn’t there a child downstairs?”

 That was when the Ghost discovered that, if his adrenaline ran high enough, he had the power to freeze time.

 In an instant, he was dressed as Grant again, and crashing through the door to the roof. “Nobody touches that child!”

 Clink.

 The vial slipped from his shirt pocket and rolled across the concrete, stopping only at the toe of Mr. Brock’s Louis Vittons.

 Brock scoffed, bent down, picked up the vial and threw it off the roof.

 But that was the least of Grant’s problems, so long as Brock was pointing a gun at Lucy.

 The ground began to shake. A bright light appeared in the sky, then grew larger, closer. And finally, after twenty-four years, Grant heard the voice of his mentor, telling him how to wield his superpowers.

 Although he was far too manic to be Mr. Miyagi. More like a Scottish Doc Brown.

 Grant! Grant! This is the Doctor!  You are the only living thing on Earth that can hear this frequency.  Look up! We’re coming right at you. If that thing hits the ground, then New York is finished. Over to you!

 Grant stopped the bomb. He got the girl. And he completely forgot about the vial until he and Lucy returned from their (first of many) flying makeout sessions.

 They found the Doctor waiting for them in the living room with the baby monitor and a carton of pad thai.

 “Shh!” he cautioned. “Jennifer’s sleeping. Nardole too.” He cocked his head towards his colleague snoring upright in a nearby chair.

 “Oh… hey.” Grant stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. “Uh, you know that stuff you gave me earlier?”

 The Doctor set down his food and rose from his chair in one fluid motion. “The Manussan geno-chelation serum.”

 “Uh, right. That. Brock took it from me and threw it off the roof.”

 “WH-“

 “Shh!”

 “what?” the Doctor rasped, strangling a shout. He grabbed his jacket and made for the front door.

 “Look, I’m sorry-“

 “It’s fine. Fine! The vial’s made of Vinvocci glass, and the brains don’t have the brawn to throw it far. There’s a good chance it landed, undamaged, somewhere within a one-block radius.”

 “But I haven’t decided-“

 “Don’t wait up!” the Doctor called over his shoulder as he ran out.

 Grant turned to Lucy. “I can explain.”

 “Oh, you will.” She gently cupped his jaw and kissed him again. “In the morning.”

 **

 They managed a few hours of sleep, before Jennifer began fussing around dawn. Grant instinctively popped out of bed. Lucy dragged herself up behind him, mumbling about how it would be weird to keep him on as an employee now...

 As he dressed, Grant caught snippets of quiet British banter out in the dining room.

 “Clever name, though, innit? ‘Insomnia Cookies’,” Nardole chuckled.

 “Yes, well, you’d think they’d have the sense to hire perkier night people for the graveyard shift. The cashier gave me the hairy eyeball for having the audacity to walk in at half-past four.”

 Grant opened the bedroom door, and immediately realized what it really was about the Doctor that bothered the cashier.

 “Phwah!”

 “Oh, good morning, Grant! You alright?”

 Grant was not alright. His super sense of smell was causing his eyes to water. “You went dumpster-diving for the vial,” he choked out.

 “I did, yes.”

 “That wasn’t a question.”

 Nardole pulled the Doctor to him and whispered something in his ear. The Doctor’s eyes went wide.

 “Oh! I apologize. I usually travel with my own, erm, amenities, but… Might I use your washroom?”

 “You’d better!” Lucy appeared in the doorway, pinching her nose shut. “In fact, don’t sit anywhere else, don’t touch anything else, until you’ve had a shower. And leave your clothes outside the bathroom; we’ll take them down to the laundry.”

 “Doesn’t laundry take two hours in this century?” Nardole asked. “What’ll he wear in the meantime?”

 The Doctor set down his cookie, rose from the table and gingerly moved to the kitchen doorway, hands up like an apprehended criminal. “Perhaps,” he said, almost sounding sheepish, “I could borrow something of Grant’s? We’re both strapping young men, about the same size.”

 “Sure,” said Grant, although he doubted the Doctor’s last statement. He thought he’d remembered the Doctor as a wiry old man. While that was still generally true, he did have the start of a paunch now. Too many cookies and takeout meals, apparently.

 It was weird, thinking of this legendary figure from his childhood as a man with a weakness for snacks, a knack for baby care, a wife waiting for him back home. Dr. Mysterio had a life of his own, somewhere out there. Possibly in another century, or on another planet, but still somehow… domestic.

 While the Doctor scrubbed off the stench of dumpster, Lucy got Jennifer up for the day, and Grant took the Doctor’s clothes to the basement. The household laundry was still technically part of his job duties, after all. He wasn’t sure Lucy even knew how to work these clunky, finicky old machines. Personally, he would have taken the Doctor’s velvet magician-style jacket to the dry cleaner’s if they had more time. But he remembered the Doctor was anxious to get home to his wife.

 His wife who, for some reason, wanted the gemstone.

 Feeling a twinge of guilt, Grant checked all the Doctor’s pockets for the vial. He found nothing.

 When he returned upstairs, Nardole was setting the table while Jennifer looked on curiously from her highchair. The Doctor cracked the bathroom door open and asked if Lucy could bring him a hair tie. Lucy seemed amused by that, (Grant didn’t know why,) but she obliged. A few moments later, the Doctor joined the rest of them at the dining room table, wearing Grant’s Superman hoodie and one of his looser pairs of jeans.

 There were a few moments of light chit-chat. Coffee was fetched from the Keurig, sugar was stirred into tea, pears were mushed across the highchair tray when they should have been eaten instead. And then, Lucy set Mr. Huffle on the table.

 Oh no.

 “So, what were you looking for last night?” she asked the Doctor.

 He winced at Mr. Huffle before rolling his eyes. “Long story short, it was a kind of medicine that would have removed Grant’s superpowers.”

 “And long story long?” she demanded, her arm tightening protectively over Grant’s shoulders.

 “It’s okay,” Grant interjected. “He wasn’t forcing me to take it, just offering. The thing is, I got my powers by accident. They came from a gemstone that belonged to the Doctor.”

 “A gemstone,” she repeated, skeptical.

 “Not just any gemstone,” the Doctor bragged. He was gesturing his explanations again. “The Hassandra: the ghost of love and wishes. An intuitive micro-computer, forged in the heart of a red hole, drawing on the power of the nearest star to-“

 “You wanted to give yourself superpowers?” Lucy asked.

 “Well, no. The Hassandra doesn’t necessarily give you superpowers,” the Doctor explains. “It gives you whatever you want the most.”

 “Huh.” Lucy regarded Grant for a split second. (They were sitting so close together now. Her eyelashes were lovely.) Then she giggled and ribbed him. “And what you wanted most was to be a superhero?”

 “Hey, gimme a break, I was eight years old!”

 “He swallowed it,” the Doctor grinned.

 “You what?”

 “I thought it was cold medicine!” Grant protested, but even he was trying hard not to laugh. Jennifer was giggling the hardest of anyone. She kicked her feet against the underside of her highchair tray, then babbled directly at the Doctor, who pretended to answer her.

 “Oh I agree, it’s quite hypocritical! But to be fair, he does have your best interests at heart. Doesn’t want you making the same mistake he did,” he said. He smiled at Grant, open and warm and not at all manic for once. Grant found himself asking with real concern:

 “Did you find the vial?”

 “No. I’m afraid it’s lost for good.”

 “I really was considering it,” Grant said. “Giving up my powers. The gemstone was yours in the first place. I know you wanted it for your wife. I’m sorry.”

 Lucy pounced on that. “So, Doctor, what is it that your wife wants the most?”

 He shot her a warning look. She squeezed Mr. Huffle. He sighed and looked down at his Nutella toast.

 “To visit her parents here in New York.”

 “Why does she need the gemstone for that?”

 “Because we live in the fifty-fourth century, and my in-laws live in the twentieth.”

 That was enough to give even Lucy pause. She turned to Grant again, her eyebrows halfway up to her hairline. He just nodded.

 “So you guys time-traveled here,” she said.

 “We did,” Nardole nodded. “It’s not easy, mind you. New York’s such a mess, time-wise. You can only get in and out by vortex manipulator. Nasty little things. Like going from here to Mars in three seconds, in an actual tin can.”

 “Why can’t your wife use one of those?” Grant asked.

 “Usually she can, to stunning effect,” the Doctor said wryly. Then he tented his fingers and bowed his head towards them, pensive. “But right now, she needs a safer vehicle. A bigger one. One that can’t get in and out of New York unless we fix the time distortions.”

 “I’m sorry,” Grant repeated.

 “Ach, don’t worry about it. Your powers might come in handy, now that I won’t be hanging around Earth for awhile.”

 “It’s alright, Doctor. Maybe we still have time to think of something else,” Nardole suggested.

 Maybe we still have time? Grant felt a pit in his stomach.

 “Doctor, your wife… Is she okay?”

 “Pretty sure she’s more than okay,” Lucy said softly.

 The room fell quiet. The Doctor, still leaning over his wringing hands, looked up at Lucy through curious eyebrows.

 “She wants to see her own mom before the baby’s born, doesn’t she?”

 Grant gaped. “The b-? What? Really?”

 As the Doctor relaxed back in his chair, he gave the slightest nod before covering his eyes in mock embarrassment.

 “Dr. Mysterio, you old scamp!” Grant laughed.

 “Don’t call me that!” he snapped. But there was no real bite to it; the Doctor was blushing now. Jennifer was laughing and babbling at him again.

 Lucy hopped up from the table, beaming. “Can you take anything with you when you time travel?”

 “As long as we can carry it on us, yeah,” said Nardole.

 “Great! I’ll give you some hand-me-downs. Oh, and I’ll order you some red velvet cupcakes from Common Grounds. I used to crave them like crazy.”

 The Doctor’s face was now approaching the color of the Hassandra. “Oh you don’t have to-“

 “Already done,” she grinned, holding up her phone. “Just make sure to spare at least one of the cupcakes from your sympathy cravings, okay?”

 Grant’s phone buzzed, and he got up from the table too.

 “Where are you going now?” the Doctor groused.

 “To switch over the laundry. Gotta get you home to-“

 “Professor Song,” said Nardole, just as the Doctor snapped, “Mrs. Mysterio as far as you’re concerned!”

 But when Grant patted him on the shoulder on the way past, the Doctor squeezed his hand. He looked up at him and winked.

 “Thank you, Grant. For everything.”

[smartycvnt]

Bad Girls Have More Fun

pairing: Jennifer Check x Reader

prompt: "I wonder what your boyfriend would do if he knew what you were doing right now."

warnings: smut

A chill ran down your spine as you once again looked around yourself in a desperate attempt to figure out who was watching you. Devil's Kettle was supposed to be safe, but here you were fearing for your life. Yes, you knew that the cannibal was only eating teenage boys for now, but it was only a matter of time before they ran out of options. Besides, it wasn't just yourself that you were scared for. While you walked yourself home, Eric spent his afternoons playing football in the park with his friends. There was nothing stopping this psycho from killing your boyfriend or one of his friends.

"Y/n, hey!" Jennifer Check yelled out of her car. It slowed down next to you to keep pace. "Do you need a ride?"

"It's okay Jennifer, I'm almost home," you politely declined. You didn't trust Jennifer. You'd never trusted her. She wasn't the type to do nice things for people who weren't Needy. Although, if word on the street was right, those two weren't exactly on friendly terms anymore. It didn't surprise you, Jennifer Check was like a parasite who could drive away anyone. You didn't understand why all of the guys seemed to be infatuated with her.

"Come on, it's dangerous to walk around like this. There's a killer on the loose, and like you said, your place isn't too far," Jennifer said. You went against your better judgement and got into Jennifer's car. "Where to?"

"Home, please," you answered. Jennifer slowly pressed on the gas, accelerating steadily until she was definitely going way over the speed limit. "M-maybe you should slow down. You wouldn't want to get a ticket."

"I'm not afraid of a ticket Y/n. You seem scared though, you should calm down," Jennifer told you. Your knuckles were turning white as you gripped the little bar by the door. Jennifer pulled onto a side road that definitely wasn't where either of you lived as she slowed down to a stop. "Seriously, calm down Y/n I was just fucking with you. God, you're such a good girl."

"That's n-not a bad thing," you stammered. Jennifer cut the engine to the car and turned to face you. Suddenly, you got very nervous, and not in a way that you expected. There had been hints of these nerves during your first time with Eric, but they were nothing compared to what Jennifer's gaze was inciting.

"Maybe you're not as good as I thought," Jennifer said, as if she could sense your budding arousal. She reached forward and trailed her hand along your jaw. Your breath hitched when her thumb brushed over your lips. Instinctively, they parted, which Jennifer took as an invitation to lean forward and kiss you. Her lips felt so soft against yours, unlike anything you'd ever felt before. The kiss was heated, but not messy.

"Wait, we can't do this! I have an Eric." You sounded panicked, but Jennifer was unbothered. In fact, she looked somewhat amused by this.

"I wonder what your boyfriend would do if he knew what you were doing right now."

You had an idea or two about what Eric would have done if he saw you kissing Jennifer Check. It was wrong using that to rationalize the urge to lean into Jennifer's embrace. You knew that it was wrong, but that didn't stop you. It definitely didn't deter Jennifer one bit, who slowly kept pushing the physical contact further and further. Still, she kept things from getting too intimate.

"Surprising," Jennifer noted as she wrapped her hand around your throat. She could feel your heart racing as she began to lightly squeeze. Your hips moved forward, brushing your center against her fingers. You let out a small gasp as her fingers moved past your underwear. Just like kissing Jennifer had been infinitely better, so was being touched by her. There was a softness that you didn't know you craved in her body that you doubted you could find anywhere else. You had never cum so easily in your life before, nor had you ever felt so satisfied. Jennifer dropped you off at your house and then drove away with the promise to pick you up from the parking lot tomorrow after school.

==tag list==

@hbkpop @wandas-wife @imlike-so-gaydude

[belovedvenom]

May I please have Nancy Downs, Ginger Fitzgerald, Jennifer Check, Herbert West, and Sydney Prescott with a nb or fem s/o just being domestic. Thank you!!!

a/n: i completely forgot to add Jennifer but i will definitely make a separate post for her <3

—Ginger : The feeling of being watched took you out of the movie playing on t.v. Getting up to make sure your front door was locked, you turned around to the sight of your girlfriend covered from head to toe in blood and gore. “Hey”

“hey?... that's all you have to say?!” you stare dumbfounded before rushing over.

“Oh my god” checking her over for any cuts.

“don't throw a fit. it's not my blood, besides i heal fast anyway.”

Ignoring her, you continue to look her over. Once satisfied, you look at her, not liking the blood caked on her neck and matting her hair. “oh ginge”

“what” taken aback by the worry in your eyes. Why would you worry? it should be the other way around. you're human, she's a werewolf. Obviously she can take care of herself, it's you who needs protecting.

“I'll go start the shower” With that you leave her to her thoughts.

Making sure the water is warm enough, you begin to help Ginger out of her clothes —even though  she doesn't need it.

Your delicate touch brings warmth to her body. Her face turning red.

You pull her into the bath.

It's quiet as you rinse her of all the blood. Washing her hair, she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of you massaging her scalp. Gently scrubbing her skin, pressing a kiss to the areas no longer covered in blood.

When you're done you offer to give her some time alone to finish up but- “no”

you stare at her, head tilted to the side, a softness in your eyes as you wait for her to continue.

“don't go yet. just…hold me for a while.”

Smiling softly, you wrap your arms around her. Head rested on her shoulder as she rests hers on your head.

You stay in each other's arms until the water runs cold, even then, you stay there. Holding her close. Wrapped in each other's embrace, Ginger's body heat warming you both. “I'm always gonna worry about you, ya know. you might be a werewolf but that doesn't mean i won't do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, you mutter against her skin “i'll always protect you. With that she hugs you tighter, one thought in her mind;

We should do this more often.

—Sidney :

You've always been more of a night owl. Sleeping all day, not active til night type of person.

Sidney was the exact opposites, but you know what they say; opposites attract.

So when it's 7pm and you suggest going grocery shopping, she looks at you like you've grown three heads but she's been in the house all day and decides why not, there are somethings she's running low on.

Not even changing clothes, the two of you put on your shoes and head to the nearest grocery store that's open 24/7.

She pushes , while you check things off the list. (you totally don't sneak things into the cart when she's not looking) She doesn't notice until checkout, giving you a look but ultimately not caring.

After getting the much needed foods and items, you stroll through the snack aisle.

“We should make s'mores” Staring at a large bag of marshmallows.

Sidney comes up behind you, arms circling your waist as her chin rests on your shoulder.

“I don't see why not” With a squeal you grab the bag before turning in her arms, pressing a kiss to her lips.

You should go night shopping more often.

—Nancy :

She woke up alone, the side of your bed cold. You had woken up earlier not wanting to disturb her sleep so you let her be. As she's rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she hears music coming from the hall.

Groggily, she follows the sound to the kitchen only to find you making breakfast, singing along to the song coming from your phone.

She can't help the smile that makes its way onto her face as she leans against the wall, crossing her arms —watching you.

“smells good” chuckling slightly as you turn around with a yelp.

“well good morning to you too” hand over your chest as you give her a playful glare.

Nancy comes over, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Why didn't you wake me up?”

“Wanted to surprise you, give you a little breakfast in bed” Her heart swells at that, face heating up.

“Mind getting the pancake mix in the cabinet over there?” You ask while finishing up the eggs. Silently she does as asked, not before taking a piece of egg and popping it into her mouth.

“Wanna help make the pancakes? You stir, i’ll pour?”

“Hell yeah”

Just like that, what started off cute and innocent turned messy, you accidentally got flour on Nancy’s shirt which led to her “accidentally” throwing some on your face.

By the end of it you were both covered in flour along with everything else, no pancakes, a giant mess to clean up.

“Whoops,” Nancy laughs to the point of tears.

“You're lucky I love you, now help me clean this up.”

“Fine, fine. But first” She pulls you into a kiss, hand on your cheek to keep you in place.

No cleaning got done.

—Herbert :

Getting Herbert to leave his makeshift basement lab for necessary things such as food and sleep is one thing and even that's a challenge but getting him to leave ?? to put up Christmas decorations???  You're trying to get him to leave his work... his research… just to decorate

You're better off asking Dan to be quite honest but luckily you have Herbert wrapped tightly around your finger (not that he’d ever admit or acknowledge that fact). So after enough— as he put it, “pestering”, he agreed. One second. You turned your back for one second when you heard grumbling from where Herbert stood. Looking towards him, you were met with the sight of your mad scientist boyfriend caught up in a bundle of not only red, silver, and green tinsel but also Christmas lights. How he managed to do this to himself you have no clue, but it was hilarious to witness. “Herb- honey, how-” You couldn't contain yourself and just bursted out laughing, a laugh that made your stomach hurt and tears fall from your eyes. He looked ridiculously adorable. Eyes wide in a way that resembled a cat when they get excited, lips in a pout, twitching ever so slightly in annoyance. “Yes, I'm so glad you find this amusing.” He stares at you unamused as you wipe the tears from your eyes. “If you're finished I could really use some assistance, this was your idea in the first place.” With a soft smile you walk towards him but not before grabbing something, keeping it hidden behind your back. “Awe im sorry Herbie” Ignoring the way he rolls his eyes at the nickname.  “Let me help you, OH but what's this?” You hold your arm up above your heads, Herbert’s eyes look up to see Mistletoe. With a teasing smile you place a kiss on his cheek before beginning to untangle him. His ears burning red, he swallows thickly. “You missed” You look up, eyes locking with his as his cheeks begin to redden. He leans forward slightly with you meeting him halfway. A feeling of warmth spreads through him at your touch. You pull apart, a goofy smile on your lips; “let's get you out of this hmm.”