#god ok. I think I need to write a whole doc because this is so many words and there's still so much I'm leaving out

[headslikekites]

omahgah \ ( ~ O ~ ) /

I didn't want to be creepy or weird so I've been avoiding spam liking and commenting but please know that I felt the same way a teen girl would at witnessing Elvis when I first saw Peregrine.

[ What is she based on? Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children? The Peregrine? Please I need to know if I have to read up on the lore of the peregrine the bird to understand her ]

( Is she a part of a faction or mostly rolling by herself? )

[ Bsd intro info! Age, likes, dislikes, and stuff ]

( What's she like in terms of personality? Any miscellaneous things about her that isn't all that important to plot or lore, but still there? )

[ Is there anything you want to/already do/want others to associate her with? Like a song, quote, style, philosophy/mindset, color, flavour? ]

Please don't mind the colored brackets/parenthesis; I got a little mad when the white text felt like they were melting into each other. If I may be so insolent, then maybe you could bless her with some colors? Please, I need to know if she has any pere-green (hehehe) Anyways, she's really cool (and so are you) and anything about her would be really cool

ok I'm answering that last part first because the rest is going to be loooong her final design doesn't have any green but she can wear a little as a treat sometimes (she'll get a full proper ref soon probably,, especially with artfight approaching)

the rest will be down below the cut because I love RAMBLING!!!!!

1. [Inspiration] my BSD ocs are actually based off old/abandoned story concepts ! peregrine is based off an animatic I envisioned in my head while listening to Monster Town by Go! Child like 5 years ago. it involved two kids getting lost in a haunted themepark one night, wherein one gets possessed/bodysnatched by a ghost and the other tries to save her. I consulted The Archives to try & find old sketches ↓

her name is Peregrine because the way I name my ocs is by going to behindthename and scrolling through names of the first initial I want until I find something that fits to me. a friend once told me I name my ocs like victorian children and I had no defense because it's lowkey on purpose

2. [Faction] former guild, flying solo now after its disbanding. I imagine she wasn't actually with the guild for that long, and mostly kept to herself for the time she was there.

3. [Intro/Info] Peregrine R. Paisley! 19 year-old private investigator and anonymous magazine columnist. also lesbian

Ability: House of Mirrors- Allows the user to see the spirits of the recently-departed in any reflective surface. Likes: Bright colors, cats, asking questions, skateboarding Dislikes: Prolonged quiet, receiving questions, cops Birthday: June 15th

she joined the guild at age 18 following the murder of her ex-bestfriend/non-reciprocal situationship (ignore the notes they're a little outdated)

4. [Personality/Misc.] outgoing, but very surface-level. she's not one to form deep personal connections, but enjoys keeping a wide network. she learned sign language to communicate with mirror ghosts but most of them don't know it so she ends up just playing charades or writing notes. her favorite color is yellow. every time someone asks about her middle name she gives a different answer.

also she's besties with keaton and I could go on a whole other ramble about that because they way they mirror eachother and bring out certain buried aspects makes me soooooo normal

5. [Associations] she's like playing early 2000s edutainment games with plastic-looking cgi at your family's antique solid-oak computer desk adorned with old photos and various knickknacks. but for more general things she is so very arcade carpet patterns to me. also mirrors.

song-wise. I am limiting myself to one because I don't want to be here all day. Crushed Out on Soda Beach by The Scary Jokes. the bright, crunchy instrumental backing melancholic/mournful lyrics is so very her.

thankyou for enjoying her :)

[kaliforniahigh]

Can you write about Noah and super short reader? I'm 4'11 🥺. Maybe he walks in on reader either climbing on the counter to reach something or standing on the counter looking for a snack. He starts keeping step stools in every room.

She wears his shirts like a dress with fishnets and doc martens on the regular.

Maybe they do the tiktok trend of 'showing my dog places they've never seen' but it's you being lifted by him to see above the fridge and other high places 😂

Ok, so a good while back I wrote about this exact same thought and someone made a drawing of Noah picking reader up so she can look over the fridge, but I can't find it for the life of me :((((( Anyways, I love this concept soo much!!!

Warnings: this is just fluff!

WC: 1.4k (a shortie, like the reader)

My requests are closed for now!

Noah has walked in on you climbing on things to reach somewhere or something way too many times. He's always made a mental note to keep a little step stool for you, to avoid the risks of you falling, but he actually never got around to it.

Deep down, he knows it's because he loves helping you. Loves thinking that you can rely on him to always do this one thing for you.

But, one day, he had to draw the line. You were cleaning his room, dusting the shelves and the frames he kept on the wall. The thing is, he hung them too high for you to reach, so, without thinking twice, you rolled his computer chair to where you needed it, and stepped on top of it.

You were humming some random tune under your breath, when you heard an alarmed voice behind you.

"Are you out of your mind?"

You got startled and felt the chair start to swivel and roll to the side, making you lose balance. Before you could fall to the floor, Noah was beside you, grabbing you by the hips and landing you on the ground safely.

"Oh my God! Why did you have to scare me?", you scolded him, giving him a little slap on the shoulder, trying to regain your composure after almost faceplanting on the floor.

"Why on earth would you stand on top of a rolling computer chair?", he questioned you, voice exasperated and eyes still wide from your almost accident.

"I was trying to clean the frames", you pointed to the various frames on the wall to get your point across.

"I saw that! But you need to be more careful. God knows what would've happened of I didn't catch you", he was still agitated, and that was agitating you.

"I would've been fine! I almost fell because YOU scared me!", you gestured with your hands, voice becoming a little louder.

Noah sighed out loud, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

"Ok, maybe I shouldn't have startled you, but your idea was not the brightest", he tried to reason.

"I'm used to doing this. I've had to climb stuff my whole life to reach certain things", you turned around to resume your cleaning when Noah grabbed you by the hips.

"I'm sorry, ok? I don't mean to be a dick", he put both hands on your shoulder and started to massage them. "It's just that I worry about your well-being"

You relaxed into his touch, the tenseness leaving your body instantly.

"I know that. But the word is a very different place for someone who's 4'11''. You're 6'4'', things are way easier for you", you didn't mean to complain, but you did huff a little when you said this out of frustration.

"I know, I know", he pecked you on the lips. "I'm sorry, ok?", he looked you in the eyes, wanting you to know that he was being sincere.

"It's ok, I forgive you", you circled your arms around his middle and rested your cheek on his clothed chest. "I'm never standing on top of a rolling chair ever again".

"Not, you're not. Because I'm getting you a step stool instead", said and you whined.

"Noah, no. That's embarassing", you frowned at the ideia. You weren't a 12 year old anymore.

"What's more embarassing, a step stool, or going to the hospital, looking like a fool, because you fell from a chair?", he raised both of his eyebrows at you, as if to challenge you. You thought for a minute, but you knew he was right.

"Ok, you can get me a step stool. But it has to be foldable so I can hide it, and I won't step on it if people are watching", he smiled at your remarks, but actually impressed that you gave in so easily.

"I'll still grab things for you when I'm around", he put both hands on your back, rubbing them up and down.

"You better", you rested your head against him once again. "I'm tired of cleaning, you stressed me out. Let's go lay on the couch".

He laughed at your jab at him, but grabbed you by the hand, leading you out of the room, switching the light off and closing the door behind you.

"Let's go. I can grab you some snacks from the top shelf", you slapped him lightly on the back, as he expected, and his laugh only intensified. He couldn't see you you, but you were also sporting a big smile on your face.

"I want the Doritos"

Everything has been going well since you made your deal with Noah. The day after the almost accident, he went out and bought you the step stool, and you've been biting your tongue to admit that it was actually a great decision.

One day, when you were laying on the couch, casually strolling on your phone, you heard Noah coming down the stairs. He was working on some songs on his computer - or that's what you thought he was doing - and you usually left him alone for that.

He stood in front of you, and you looked at him over the top of your phone. He didn't say anything, but he had a smile on his face that you weren't sure if you liked. Locking you phone and dropping it on your lap, you asked:

"What?"

"I saw this trend on TikTok and I wanted to do it with you", he had an expression on his face that told you you might not like this.

"Noah, you don't even have TikTok"

"I have a TikTok", he said this a little lower, hoping you wouldn't hear it.

"You have a TikTok?"

"I do", he averted his gaze from you.

"Since when do you have a TikTok?", you asked. He was unbelivable.

"That's not important right now. Have you seen this trend where owners pick their dogs up to show them places they haven't seen before?"

"Yes, I have. It's adorable", you answered and side-eyed him at the same time.

"I wanted to do it with you", he said and waited for your answer. You just looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"Are you comparing me to a dog?", you deadpanned, and saw his expression change immediately.

"No, baby, of course not. I just thought it would be cute"

"Yeah", you hummed, as if in thought". "It would actually be cute", you agreed.

"So you'll let me do it?", he asked, but was already opening his camera app on his phone.

"Yeah, I will, but we won't post it", you said, getting uo from the couch.

"What do you want to see first?", he asked.

"The top of the fridge", you walked to the kitchen and he followed after you. You positioned yourself and Noah propped the phone on the wall behind the fridge, the phone sitting on top of it.

"Ok, so I'll grab you by the hips and lift you up", he instructed and you nodded.

He tried picking you up the first time, but you started giggling, remembering the dog videos you watched. The movement threw him off and you landed back on your feet.

"What's so funny?", he asked, looking at you.

"I'm just remembering the dog videos. They look so confused, it's so funny", you giggled once more.

"Ok, I'll try it again", he picked you up once more and you were finally able to see on top of the fridge. When you saw it though, you let out a big gasp.

"What is it?", Noah asked you.

"Oh my God, Noah. It's so dusty up in here. I need to clean this right now", you exclaimed, running your finger over the top and seeing the trail of dust it left behind.

"You gotta show me other places right now, because our house is dirty and I didn't even know it", you said and made your way to the bathroom. "C'mon, you gotta show me the top of the bathroom's upper cabinet"

Noah didn't even know what to say, he just followed after you, with a smile on his face at how absolutely adorable you were.

So the day went by like this, him showing you the top part of places and you insisting you clean them. But he didn't let you use the step stool this time, adamant on holding you, using the excuse that he didn't go to the gym, so this was him working on his biceps.

You were more than happy to feel the tight grip of his big hands around your waist.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: I'm just going to come right out and say it, I love Kafka Hibino. He's so goddamn cute that I literally want to just eat him alive. This is my first time writing for him - though I've been thinking about it for ages. I hope you like it, @supersecretsaga And I apologize, I'm wholly incapable of writing without it exceeding 1k words. So, SORRY. I proofed this once on google docs and that's all I have in me today. Any gross errors that look like I didn't mean to do them, message me!

C/W ::: Human Kafka, F.reader, not a lot of swearing. I just don't get the sense that Kafka would swear unnecessarily. Maybe I'm wrong. My perception will probably change. Really, who cares. Um, P->V (unprotected), jumping the relationship gun (but, with him, I would, too.)

WC ::: 3,094 (about 7 3/4 pages on G-Docs).

MDNI UNDER THE CUT

Kafka Hibino was simple, through and through. But when he met you that day in the hospital, his whole life changed. He knew he'd never be the same man he was before he was admitted.

You're a nurse. You were great at your job, and you knew it. Though the first time you saw that big, dumb puppy-energy-giving man, you knew that you were a goner, as well.

He was admitted around 2 am. Settled in around 5 am. He was in a lot of pain from the fight he'd gotten into with the Kaiju around midnight. He had 2 broken arms, bruised ribs. A number of different things had happened to him.

Kafka would be in good hands, though. Really, really good hands.

Your hands.

**** 7:30 am ****

"Oh- oh my god. What was THAT!?" You pulled your hand from the large porcelain tub in his bathroom and squeezed the sponge out over his short dark hair.

Giggling, you blinked slowly because you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. And not just between your thighs. No, this was something else entirely. His stupid haircut, his kind eyes and dumbass smile were hammering their way through your boundaries. The same boundaries you'd worked so hard over the years to build to not get emotionally attached to patients.

"You're an idiot, Mr. Hibino. A complete moron. Have you never been bathed before? That was just a little something extra to help loosen up your muscles, a quick massage. My goodness. It's as if you've never been pampered." You stood from where you were on your knees on the floor and shook your hands out, purposely getting water on his face - you hoped in his eyes - so you would have a reason to gingerly wipe it dry.

"Call me Kafka," he said, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you grab the towel and stand over him.

"What?" You were confused. You didn't realize he'd been asking you something.

"Call me Kafka. It's my name, yeah?" He sounded so serious, so sincere. You nodded and wiped his face with the towel, noticing the small wrinkles as he smiled up at you.

Fuck. He's adorable and you're finding it harder and harder to stay professional.

"No. Your name is Mr. Hibino and that's what I'll be calling you. Ok? Mr. Hibino? Now, let's finish this bath and get you back in bed. The doctor will be coming by soon to check on you and he can give you another massage if you need it." You moved your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them as you continued talking. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Hibino. Your body needs to heal."

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tub.

You kept massaging him, not stopping until he was almost asleep.

This sweet, gentle man, had a power over you that no one else did. And you weren't sure how to deal with it.

Quite a while later (sorry, storyline faux pas - I didn’t take into account healing time. But let’s just say that because he’s part Kaiju that he heals exceptionally fast. Ok? Ok!)*****

**** 1 month later, 10 pm ****

You hadn't seen Kafka since the morning bath you'd given him. He was discharged and sent home to continue his recovery. As a nurse, you knew he would be alright. But as a woman, you were left feeling empty and wanting more of him.

You were home that night, exhausted, but unable to sleep. You tried to keep your thoughts away from the big, gentle man who had stolen your heart with his kind words and warm smile, but it was impossible.

Your mind drifted to the way he looked at you as you bathed him.

How his body was perfectly balanced between the hard muscles he'd earned in his training and the slight squish around his mid-section that you wanted nothing more than to run your fingertips over.

His arms were thick and strong. Yet not battle-worn. He didn't have too many scars, though they'd have only added to his appeal.

His legs were muscular, too. Thick and strong, like his arms. His thighs were something else, something you found yourself daydreaming about wrapping your own legs around.

You wondered what his cock would feel like inside of you. You snuck a glance when he was in the tub. You knew his eyes were closed when you looked at it, bobbing away in the water. You're certain he was hard. Otherwise, you prayed he wasn't a grower because any more than that and you'd be the one being admitted to the hospital.

You thought about his hands on your body, squeezing your breasts and sliding between your thighs. You imagined what it would be like to feel his fingers inside of you, massaging you and bringing you to orgasm faster than you could imagine.

You rubbed your clit slowly, gently. You couldn't bring yourself to fuck yourself with a vibrator or even your own fingers. You didn't want to give yourself that much pleasure. 

You wanted it to be Kafka.

You wanted him to be the one to take you, to fuck you, to make love to you.

You rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow as you yelled out in frustration.

"This is ridiculous. This is so stupid. I - I'm not some teenager who can't control herself." You stood and walked to your closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and your purse and left for the mini mart down the street from your house. 

Chocolate was the next best thing you could think of. Other than, of course, Kafka running his hands all over your body. But what are the chances of that.

What are the chances of that?

The night air was cool against your skin. A nice contrast to the heat you'd built up while thinking about him.

You grabbed a pint of chocolate ice cream and began walking back home.

You felt better, slightly, but still very much wanting.

**** 10:30 pm ****

You were halfway through your pint and the movie when you heard a knock on your front door. "Coming, hold on, please." You walked to the door and looked through your peephole to see who it was. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me. What on earth are you doing here, Mr. Hibino?" The smile on your face was causing the back of your head to strain. You couldn't hide that you felt like your prayers had been answered all at once. But at the same time, you didn't want Kafka to see this look of bliss on your flushed face.

"Call me Kafka," he said softly, leaning against the doorway and smiling back at you. "And I wanted to see you again. May I? Come in, I mean. Please?"

You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.

You watched as he looked around your living room. You could tell he was a little nervous, but so were you.

You'd never felt this way about a patient before. Ex-patient, you had to remind yourself. He was no longer under your care. 

"Ok, Kafka." He smiled at the way you said his name. He'd never heard anything like it before. "Would you like some ice cream? I was just sitting here, eating some, watching a bad movie." You chuckled, showing him the container and spoon.

"Sure. I'd love some." He sat down right in the middle of your couch, and you sat next to him.

You handed him the ice cream and he dug in.

You both ate in silence for a few minutes until he said, "This is good."

You nodded and smiled. "It is. Sometimes chocolate, um, well, sometimes it's the only thing that helps. Y'know?" You looked at him, noticing the way his lips had turned up into a smirk. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're just ... you just ... h-here. Can I? There's a little bit of ... right ..." He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip so slowly and then sucked the ice cream off. "... there. You just had a little on your lip. 'S gone now."

You weren't sure what to do. Your body was telling you to jump on him and fuck him until neither of you could walk. Your brain was telling you to wait and see what other kind of sweet nothings he'd do for you. 

So, you waited. You had no idea your self-control was this well-honed. Again, you’d never been tested like this before.

But Kafka was different.

"You're beautiful, y'know." He whispered, looking at the floor like he was trying to burn holes in it with his eyes. He turned his head, leaning in a little bit closer than you were to him at the hospital. His hand moved to rest on your knee. And he said, "I've never met anyone like you before. I thought I was just going lay in the hospital bed until I was better. But you showed me kindness and care. I know you were just doing your job, but I'm grateful that you were there. That you were … you."

You didn't say anything. You were too busy trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest. You're sure if he'd looked, he'd see your tits jumping ever so slightly from the heaviness of the beating.

"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Miss. I don’t know your first name. I’m embarrassed at how many ‘L/N’ households I went to looking for you.”

Your hand shot up to cover the smile that immediately bloomed across your lips. "That's not important. It's Y/N. And you're welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you. I didn't expect you to come here, though. I'm glad you did." You shifted, moving your knee so that your legs were touching. He didn't move his hand. He held it there, squeezing your knee gently.

"I didn't think I'd come here either. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know it's not appropriate for me to be here, but I had to see you again. I wanted to say thank you, in person." He turned his head and looked at you. You leaned in closer to him, your noses almost touching. "And maybe something else. Something that would make you feel as special as you made me feel when you took care of me."

You were so close to him you could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. He smelled like the air before a storm, and whiskey. But a little liquid courage never killed anyone.

"Kafka," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face. You were fidgeting with a small piece of his hair as you rest your forehead against his. "Kafka. I ..."

He sat up abruptly, "Oh shit! You're not married, are you? I should have asked, I'm so sorry for showing up here so late. Without any warning." He bowed to you and started for the door.

"Kafka! I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone right now. Please, come back. Come sit." You stood and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. "I was going to say I've never felt this way about a patient before. You make me feel like there's something more to life than just my job."

He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of dishonesty. He couldn't find any. "So, you don't mind me coming here?"

You shook your head. "I don't mind you coming here at all. I'm glad you did. I was just surprised, that's all. Please don't leave. Not yet." You held his hand tighter and urged him back down on the couch with you.

Pulling him back in, kissing him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting you to do that since the first time I saw you, too. But you in terrible pain when you came in. How did you have the presence of mind to want to kiss me when you were so badly beaten up?"

He laughed, "I wasn't beaten up, per se. I just didn't come out on top." He paused for a second, and then continued, "And the pain wasn't as bad as you think. I'm used to it. It's a part of my job. But being here with you, it's like I can forget all of that. And just be me. Kafka. Nothing else."

You leaned in and kissed him again, this time with more urgency. His lips parted slightly, and you could taste the chocolate on his tongue. You moaned softly, shifting so that your legs were wrapped around him. He pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled him, grinding yourself against his crotch.

"Oh my god," he moaned, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes. "Y/N. You're so beautiful." He reached up and touched your cheek with his thumb, rubbing it gently.

You pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. His chest was chiseled and smooth, his abs flexing slightly under his cute belly as he breathed heavily.

You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every muscle and every scar. You kissed his neck, biting it gently and sucking on his skin. "Kafka, I want you. I want you so much."

He pulled your shirt off and threw it next to his. "I'm gonna make you feel so good that you'll forget all about chocolate."

You stopped, pulling back from his face, and you laughed so hard for the first time in ages. "Oh, that might be the most serious thing anyone has ever said to me. Challenge accepted!"

He pulled you back into him and kissed you, his hands reaching around to squeeze your ass as you ground yourself against him. He picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently laying you on the bed before climbing on top of you.

You unclasped your bra and tossed it to the floor, allowing him to see your breasts. He gasped as quietly as he could manage, running his hands over them and squeezing them gently. "You're so beautiful. You know that?"

He leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently as his fingers worked at your pants. He slid them off, revealing your black lace panties. You'd never felt so exposed in your life. And you loved it.

"Kafka, please," you moaned as he sucked harder on your nipple, his hand moving down to rub your clit through your panties. "Please fuck me. I need you. I need you so bad."

He pulled back, looking at your face. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you cum? Oh-hoh baby, I will. I might even cum before you do! But don't lose faith. It's just, well, it's been a while? I guess? But that's not important right now." He leaned in and kissed you again, biting your bottom lip and sucking on it gently.

"It's ok, Kafka. I want you. I don't care if you cum before me. I just want you inside me. Please, please." You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe you were begging like this, but you didn't care. You wanted him so badly.

He nodded and pulled your panties off, throwing them to the floor. He pushed his own pants down and pulled his boxers off with them, his cock set free.

You gasped at the sight. It was so much more than what you saw when he was in the tub. "Jesus, I-"

He looked down, "Oh. That?" He turned his head away, "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you've seen um, better? But I make up for it in other ways! I promise, y/n. Just give me a chance."

You shook your head and smiled, "That's not at all what I'm trying to say here. There's not a doubt in my mind you won't fuck me stupid, Kafka." You giggled and reached your arms out to pull him down against you.

He positioned himself between your legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit as he kissed your neck.

You moaned, "Ohhh, fuck. Yes. Do that." Your hand moved to his ass, squeezing it as he rocked against you.

He pushed himself inside of you slowly, stretching you out as he went. The slight sting you noticed dissipated as quickly as the onset. You moaned, your nails digging into his back as he started to thrust faster. "Kafka, oh my god. That feels so fucking good. More. I want more,  please."

He grunted, his cock sliding in and out of you as you arched your back, grinding yourself against him. He sucked on your nipple again, his tongue flicking over it as he fucked you harder and faster.

You couldn't believe how much he was making you feel. You hadn't had sex in so long, but this was different. This was something else entirely. He was with you. He wasn't just there to get himself off. You'd been with guys like that before and they, more often than not, left you with a (literal) bad taste in your mouth.

Your breathing quickened, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And the closer you got, the harder your nails dug into his muscular back. "Kaf-hoh shit. Y-that ... pl- fuck. 'M gonna cum ... very … very soon."

He pulled back slightly, looking at your face as you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back. "Me too, baby. Me too. You're so tight, and you feel so good. I can't believe I'm inside of you. Fuck. I'm gonna cum, Y/N. Oh shit, I'm gonna cum." He grunted again, his cock twitching inside of you as he came hard, filling you up.

You came with him, your pussy squeezing around his cock as he kept fucking you, slowing his thrusts until he stopped completely.

"Fuck," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently. "Kafka."

He smiled and kissed you softly. "RIGHT!?" 

You laughed through a yawn at the high energy he had when you first met, despite his injuries, and how he seems now. “Stay? Stay with me. I don’t want you to go. Tonight. Ever.” 

He held you close to him, kissing the top of your head and brushing your hair down as you drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.

"Just try’n get rid of me, y/n." 

@darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa

@arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess

@bakubunny @reiners-milkbiddies

***If you guys absolutely hate this anime or don't give a shit, please please let me know so I don't keep writing and tagging you in stuff you don't care about! Thanks, mooties! <3***

[fromdove]

im so curious abt ur shifting experience! can u just like.. talk about it. like have you ever succeeded, is ur script all cute. anything, i wanna know.

OH my god i’m so glad you asked this, anon… you beautiful invisible angel… you glorious mystery being… i’m literally releasing a cloud of doves in your anonymous honour as we speak. they’re circling the sky. flapping dramatically. cooing your name. it’s a whole thing 🕊️🕊️🕊️💌

anyway. uh. anti-shifters? can you like. not. ☹️ go drink water or stare at the sun or something idk. just don’t be weird. if ur mean i will... block you...like instantly. no discussion. no appeals. bonk. banned. this is not a democracy. you do not have freedom of speech here. im the dictator and manager here. sorri ok bye <3

disclaimer warning sirens etc: i hate using the terms “cr” and “dr” 😭 they make my brain itch. but like. what else am i supposed to call them. also i dont know how to use some terms now.....because recently ive been reading so much on non dualism and stuff now im just like....confusion. i tried. i gave up. if i said anything wrong then correct me coz guys....im new to non dualism ok .... frown face. language is fake

OKAY so basically… i used to be completely unwell about scripting. fully. obsessed. i had an entire system. made my own CR script template too—super cute, all baby pinks and blues and beach-summer ahahahah. if anyone wants it lmk bc she’s still tucked safely away in the notion vault mwahaha

BUT nowadays??? i truly do not gaf. not writing all that. there are too many realities i wanna visit. too many ideas. too many lives calling my name. and honestly, my consciousness already knows what i want. i don’t need to give it a 47-page doc. i have stuff to do. like.... shift. LMAO

like YES i know you don’t have to script that much, but i love detail ok......? i love making it pretty and organized and and and. but the list of realities i wanna shift to is so long it’s laughable. it’s soul-deep. i can’t be writing a mini-biography for every version of me out there. it’s too much.

recent update: i’ve been moving away from full-on LOA (law of assumption) and into non-dualism, but i still dabble in LOA stuff. i’m not married to any one framework rn, just learning, testing things out. exploring. walk with me.

soooo i have this concept of a waiting room—like a base i’ll shift to. haven’t scripted it, (lol, theme of the day), because like i said, miss pure consciousness will do it for me because i dont care. buttttt i’ve got a clear-ish version in my head. a rough copy of it in my mind. it’s a central hub that links to all my drs. each reality has its own (huge cutesy) room. i walk through a door, im in the room, theres a portal, if i wanna go that reality i will enter the portal and boom: reality shift. clean. easy. the portal thing is kinda extra but i think its cute

the whole thing’s in this techy-modern disney princess castle. holograms and sparkle. very futuristic. in each room i’ll be able to see all my dr info—faceclaims, lore, backstory, whatever—floating around like glowing holographic tabs. and i can update them whenever i want....prob wont need to tho

some of these realities will be based on existing media, but a lot won’t. some will be entirely original, made by my consciousness from scratch. whole new lives, new people, new vibes. like made from scratch nara smith style (see why i said i cant script for all of them......like some dont even exist in any media here) . i honestly love that kind of freedom.

in the waiting room, i’ll always be 15 (bc i love this age + i am 15 rn), but in the DRs i’ll grow and age normally. the waiting room’s kind of like my “cr” if we must call it that (we mustn’t. but we do). it’s where i come back to.

and it’s not plain either. ofc its not. hello do u know me. it’s a castle. like a CASTLE castle. modern. big, cozy, cinematic. massive bedroom. cinema room. walls of books. every streaming service. and whenever i crave something to eat it just. shows up. logic doesn’t apply. doesnt exist. comfort does !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah. that’s kind of the rough idea for now. my consciousness will handle the rest tbh. i trust her. anyway. hope this made sense. bye. i’m gonna go eat now <3

[kinki-cami]

Mmmm this bed really comfy ill write again after i wake back up mmgmggfhgfgmmgdgfgggm

Ughhh awake again and i cant seem to fall back to sleep lllllllhhh...

Wait. Arent i supposed to be on a ship? Ib war? The bed was horrific to sleep on, or at least should be. Oh gods. Ive been caught. Shit ok. Uhh so is this how they fuckin like consume people or something? Or like attempt to like innterogate? Because lemme tell ya the affini aint getting nothin outta me, i wasnt even paying attention, i didnt even memorize the name of the ship! (It was all really boring, like being back at school) so L affini i guess. Ok. Its really quiet, luckily marsh is here

"Marsh," i whispered, "should we look around? I mean its probably best to ensure my diabetes is in check, at least make sure theres food or sugar or somethin. Oooo or fruits i love fruits <<<333"

The bed was pretty tall i definitely couldnt just stand up i had to like literally hop down, wasnt too bad though. I made sure to keep marsh on me, i wouldnt want them getting lost, or be lonely in an unfamiliar place. It was pretty spooky but it was practically dead silent, or at least as dead silent as you can get with (as far as im aware) one person living in a fully functional living quarters (so like vent noises). As i walked around the bed i saw myself in a mirror and wow. These are really cute pajamas, shii if i could afford these back home i would have bought something like this. I checked myself out for a little, these would look cuter if i had a bigger butt, but thats neither here nor there. Shit do they have a bathroom? I dont wanna haveta pee on houseplants, that would be uncomfortable. So what bathroom first then food? No food first low blood sugar could kill me and I could just use the bathroom elsewhere if i MUST go. Ok i wanna look around this room first. Theres a closet and a wardrobe, not opening either incase theres something in there, like spooky things. Not that i could open it considering i just woke up so incredibly weal right now. Some decor, not super interesting but GODS its big i would estimate like average living room size.

Freakin massive hall too. Ok first things first, find the kitchen. Theres gotta be food there. Gods damn this is like the size of a cafeteria, for like a whole ass kitchen and living room, damn holy shiitt. Ok focus cami. Lets look around the living room half first, if we hear ANYTHING thats not me we are bolting back into that room and pretending to be asleep. Pretty big couch, its like how you would sit on a table to get up there tho, sheesh. Tall lamp, coffee table, still pretty basic. Needs some art, just like a big portrait would really brighten the place up. Maybe make a cat poster (love that old timey stuff). Anyway speedwalking over to the kitchen, im probably slowly running out of time. Aight we have counters you cant really see over, sorta understandable for a freaking giant plant. Uhh like counter in the middle of the cooking area, probably to serve and cook nearly simultaneously, and an island, what looks to be an electric stove, nothing else really that interesting round here. The cabinets are all too high for me to reach so there might be food in there. Theres a weird ass microwave looking motherfucker thats like built into the wall. Uhh ok, that was fruitless. Time to find a bathroom. Gosh this is so large. I presume this door next to the hall is locked considering its not opening. Heck that may even be the way out, but hell im dead anyway, so no use trying to escape now. I could still hide but maybe they wont kill me if they think im asleep. Fuck ok uhh ok cant go into a depressive spiral right now. Fuck ok. Its all hitting all at once now fuck. Ok fuck the bathroom. I wanna say goodbye to everything. Fuck i dont know where doc kirb is shit. Ok thats ok. Marsh can say goodbye for me, yeah. Ok yeah im going to go come to terms with- What was that??? Fuck. Ok marsh get on that bed. Ok.

Pain to climb up. One foot on the frame and just there. ok. Marsh come here we gotta pretend we're asleep. Ok. Fuck i dont wanna die. God i think the plant's comin closer. God im going to die alone and unloved... besides for marsh.

[harleyj23]

Hey love! If this would be possible it would be amazing!

Do you think you could could write a little fic about reader and their experience on antibiotics after being in hospital because oml I feel so unwell after taking them 🤣 but if you could do that with bucky or derek that would be amazing, just some fluff and comfort when she’s about to get discharged whilst she’s in pain meds and her having to sleep them off and derek/ bucky getting worried because she’s basically been knocked out since they got home, it’s just comfort fluff helping her get her appetite back and her meds finished 🫶🏻🫶🏻 thank you

I hope you’re doing well too!

Omg this is such a good idea! Gonna do it with like a pre teen/early teen daughter because we love Dad Derek

Hospital stays and side effects

Derek Morgan x daughter! Reader

Warnings: mention of hospitals, medication side effects, fluff throughout

Derek stood by his daughters hospital bed as the doctor finished his examination, she’d been admitted three days ago after Derek thought her appendix had burst, the thought of that day made him shudder, seeing his daughter writhe and cry out in pain, clutching her stomach and sobbing, “make it stop dad please” she begged as he drove to the hospital, foot through the floor.

Turns out it was just a nasty kidney infection, and a three day intense course of antibiotics and they were about to be discharged. “Now” the doctor began, “these are the antibiotics, you need to continue taking these for seven days, and make sure you eat before you take them” he said, handing Derek the box of pills. Y/N groaned, the meds had made her feel nauseous and lethargic, “I can’t eat they make me feel so sick” she groaned at the doctor, “we can prescribe you some anti sickness medication, but they will make you sleepy” the doctor replied and Y/N nodded.

After signing lots of paperwork Derek was finally able to take his daughter home, he wheeled her out to the car and helped her into the front seat, draping a purple fluffy Sherpa blanket that Garcia had bought for her. He quickly returned the wheelchair and jumped in the car, “ok all set babygi-“ he looked over at his daughter and she was already asleep, those meds must have kicked in, he thought.

Y/N slept the whole drive home, her soft snores making Derek chuckle, he gently scooped up Y/N and carried her inside, laying her on the couch and pulling the blanket back up to cover her and pulling off her black converse she got for her 11th birthday. He quickly grabbed her bags from the car and set them down in her room for when she woke up.

As he walked back down the hall, he noticed Y/N was still fast asleep, he crouched next to her and was relieved when he saw a piece of hair blowing gently as she exhaled, thank god she was breathing, but Derek still wasn’t happy, he called the doctor, “hey doc I know we’ve only been home a couple hours but Y/Ns been sleeping the whole time and I don’t know if this is normal or if I should bring her back and-“ the doctor cut him off, “it’ll be the medication, she’s fine Mr Morgan, let her rest as long as much as possible, she’s fighting off a nasty infection, her body needs as much rest as it can get” the doctor said, Derek breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the doctor before hanging up.

He looked at his phone and realised it was time for Y/Ns afternoon medication, he walked over and gently shook her awake, “hey kiddo it’s time to take your medicine” he said, Y/N groaned and rubbed her eyes, “you gotta eat first though, I’ll make you a sandwich?” Y/N shook her head, “don’t wanna eat dad” she said and buried her head in the blanket, “come on baby there’s gotta be something you want?” He asked pulling the blanket down and moving some hair out her eyes, “no” she said blankly and pulled the blanket tighter, trying to go back to sleep.

Derek sighed, suddenly he had an idea, he ruffled Y/Ns hair lightly and walked back to the kitchen, pulling out his phone he looked for Rossi’s phone number and dialled it, “hello?” “Hey Rossi it’s Derek” “oh hi! How’s the kid doing?” He asked, “she’s ok but I can’t get her to eat, she needs to eat so she can take her medication but It’s having some side effects that make her sick and I can’t get her to touch anything, I thought you might have an idea?” He said, his voice laced with desperation, Rossi chuckled, “have you tried something simple? When my wife was undergoing chemotherapy the only thing she would eat was spaghetti with butter and Parmesan cheese” Rossi said, Derek thanked him and got to work boiling some pasta, he decided to make some tea as well, tea makes everyone feel better.

Once the food was ready he put it on a tray and brought it to Y/N who was sat up, the blanket wrapped around her as she watched the tv, “so your uncle Rossi gave me an idea” Derek said as he placed the tray down, Y/N peered over at the food, it did smell kind of good, she picked up the fork and twirled a small forkful of spaghetti, she ate it slowly, ok she didn’t puke, that’s a good start, little by little she ate the bowl of pasta, and felt a little better for it. “Attagirl” Derek said kissing her forehead and passing her her medication with a glass of water, Y/N grimaced but took the medication. “I just gotta do some paperwork ok? I’ll be in the office if you need me” Derek said turning to leave, “wait dad” Y/N said, “ can you stay with me? We could watch a movie maybe?” She said giving him puppy dog eyes, Derek sighed and smiled, “of course I can babygirl” he said and sat next to her on the couch, Y/N lay her head in his lap and his hands went straight to her scalp, massaging it gently as she scrolled through Netflix picking out a movie to watch.

Maybe being sick wasn’t so bad

Sorry I kinda ran with this and went slightly off track but it’s fine

[thegeminisage]

I was going to ask about mermay and then I saw zutara, hello!

wow THANK YOU and also you're in luck!! someone else asked mermay and here it is. as for zuko can't come in the igloo:

this one is sort of a group hallucination me and my social circle had back when we were all watching atla and lok together (though for the record i first watched atla as a teenager and lok as it aired). this was in the summer of 2020 so you can imagine uh, where we were all at mentally. in like february or march of last year, right after the live-action atla dropped, i realized i had never written any of it down in any capacity and it was all languishing in chat logs. so i made a google doc* to write down as much of it as i could possibly find/remember. partially in case i ever wanted to turn it into a proper fic one day (unlikely), but mostly just so that the idea wouldn't be lost.

this going behind the cut 1. bc of length 2. it's fucking insane and 3. bc there is minor aang/kataa//ng critical content (I LOVE HIM THOUGH don't get it twisted i just think lok is the bad timeline in a way that i find fun and enjoyable and stimulating) and idw piss anybody off. if you click on this and get mad you did it to yourself!!

*i could be convinced to send a copy of this doc to interested parties if we are not strangers. this here on tumblr is the truncated version and it's still really REALLY long.

ok. the basic premise of this is that after katara and zuko get together, her family is MAD about it, and hakoda specifically will Not let him into their home because the last firebender who walked through that door killed his beautiful wife and katara's mother.

this was largely born out of frustrations with katara/aang in season 3 of atla and in lok. to be clear, even though i preferred katara/zuko, i thought katara and aang were perfectly cute and fine until season 3 and wasn't really that mad that they'd probably end up together. then all the sudden aang is kissing katara after she specifically told him to chill, her emotional needs are getting put aside to support his, he keeps LEAVING HER BEHIND when she's got abandonment issues...let me not get started. also he asked her to FORGIVE THE GUY WHO MURDERED HER MOM LOL??? like yes definitely discourage this fourteen year old girl from killing a man in cold blood i get that but FORIGVENESS? bro. that was the worst thing that ever happened to her. also, i was willing to forgive him for burning her hands before season 3 but not after.

and then in lok, katara has been basically reduced to a Mother...she stays behind with the kids that Aren't Airbenders (noticed how they stopped having them after tenzin was born), raising them in republic city away from her home and family and BROTHER, and we never see her do any bending but healing...remember when she railed against the sexist practices of the northern water tribe? the implication in that ep being that the southern water tribe defers to their women or at least sees them as equals whereas the northern water tribe does Not. ik a lot of people don't like the way katara spoke to an elder in that episode and that is completely understandable, but you dip a toe into the comics for even a hot minute (i did not read them all but i read Enough) and you realize the northern and southern water tribes are verrry different and that man was not necessarily Her Elder in that way. actually the northern water tribe is kinda shitty overall to the southern water tribe but we don't have time to get into all that.

we also got really mad at the idea of aang making katara a betrothal necklace to REPLACE HER MOTHER'S WITH?? until we realized that was (thank god!) fanon and not canon because the south clearly doesn't know about that trandition at all, it's obviously a northern thing, and the mixup of their cultures is outrageously insensitive to katara. (smash cut to kya having one in lok jesus christ whatever.) anyway we had this whole thing where like in the southern water tribe they found it appalling that men would try to put collars on women like that and if hakoda had found out aang had made one for katara he would have hit the roof at the unintended implications

katara is a survivor of genocide just like aang - she is the last southern waterbender, and while there is something to be said for her not literally being the only bender of her element on the entire fucking planet like aang is, her culture has still been lost (the entire point of the episode with hama), and she wanted to have little waterbending babies just as much as aang wants to have little airbending babies. and yet, hmm, aang goes on airbending field trips while katara raises their daughter in a place that's not even their home...aang's not necessarily doing anything bad but a person in his position quite literally can't put katara first and she deserves to be put first

ANYWAY, the point being, aang is no good for katara in the longterm, even if she might be good for him. it's totally understandable that he has to prioritize airbending culture and make airbending babies and i don't blame him at all for that but i just don't think katara's wants and needs specifically get addressed there. it's especially sad because when they first met katara had been forced to grow up too quickly and aang helped her get back in touch with being a kid and having fun...but as katara gets older and has to decide what she wants to do with her life, her goals and aang's just don't align, and the part of aang that refuses to grow up and be mature (AN ADMIRABLE TRAIT IN A WORLD TORN APART BY WAR) will eventually become her burden

anyway in this au, slightly altered from canon:

in the southern raiders, katara WANTS to kill the firebender but can't bring herself to do it and zuko explains it's because she's not a murderer like they are. i am ripping this off from fullmetal alchemist - when winry confronts her parents' killer she wants to shoot him but can't and feels ashamed, and ed comforts her and tells her it's because she's a healer, and her hands are meant to help people, not kill them. katara isn't a healer the way winry is, but i wish the episode had been a bit more nuanced at the end than it was.

zuko finds his mom on his own instead of with the gaang's help because everybody went their separate ways. also he writes reparation checks every month because i think that would be funny like it would piss off a bunch of people he hates and make a bunch of people he likes happy and what is he gonna do with all that blood money anyway. zuko the commie lib

anyway zuko and katara write letters while she's traveling the world with aang on appa, working to restore the airbenders without really being a part of her own culture's restoration. also at some point during this she realizes she can't have kids NO AIRBENDING BABY FACTORY FOR YOU AANG more on this in a sec. but aang eventually does make her the necklace and she breaks up with him but can't bear to go back home yet so she goes to ba sing sae to get it together.

meanwhile, in the fire nation, zuko has had a lot of time to think about this and has decided whatever freak mental illness lives in his fucking family he wants no part in passing it on. he does Not want kids. and then he's like well then how tf do i pick an heir that i KNOW will do a good job and do it the way i would. and then he realizes even having a biological kid can't guarantee that because look at him and ozai. at which point he realizes that monarchy is bad an unreliable actually and accidentally invents democracy [nobody liked that]. that takes like 5 years and then he's freed from firelord duties but still important enough to make sure the reparation checks don't stop. and everybody's like, boo, zuko, we liked how it was before! and he's like whatever man and fucks off to ba sing sae

and then he and katara run into each other and one thing leads to another and they get together and katara is like ok i'm ready to go home. and then they do go home but hakoda is like you're dating WHO? absolutely not this man is not welcome in the igloo.

herein lies the actual actual conceit of this hypothetical fanfic, wherein everybody in the background has an opinion on zuko having to use his breath of fire to sleep outside and not die:

sokka is anti zuko in the igloo because firstly he thinks it's funny and secondly he liked zuko better when zuko wasn't dating his sister

if toph and suki are there (i believe in toph/suki/sokka though the logistics are a nightmare) toph is anti zuko at first bc it's funny and then she changes her mind because she feels bad for him. suki is pro zuko because she feels bad for him since the beginning

gran gran surprisingly pro zuko because she sympathizes with katara choosing a man her family disagrees with, even though she also disagrees with the man katara has chosen. master pakku does not get an opinion because gran gran already dumped his ass once. happy life happy wife.

some other details:

katara really ashamed of being in love with a colonizer but he makes her feel so safe and heard and respected, unlike aang. NO HATE ON AANG IT ISN'T HIS FAULT they just weren't compatible longterm.

hakoda DARING zuko to force his way in (he totally could) and zuko turning down this obvious bait

zuko is really zen and chill in this. he already did his character arc and he's passed through his anger and become A Good Man. Very Humble. really only here for katara to lean on and hakoda to yell at (this replaces therapy). no hate on zuko either it's just that katara needs this

zuko never argues with hakoda no mater how much hakloda tries to provoke him (to "prove" he can't be trusted) and doesnt even firebend inside the village (aside from breath of fire) UNLESS hakoda starts in on katara and then he's like hey no you're really angry with me get angry with me. even though everybody knows hakoda is really angry at the guy who killed his wife and also himself for not being able to prevent it

katara abandonment issues + zuko not leaving the igloo all night even though he hates winter and isn't allowed inside = yum

directly from the chat logs: "the juxtaposition of a firebender marched into my home and more or less killed my mother right in front of me when i was a baby vs i feel safe in this firebender's arms and i think hes very handsome"

at some point hakoda is like let's go ice fishing and zuko doesn't realize hakoda could totally kill him when they're alone way out there until it's too late but hakoda doesn't kill him. he's testing zuko to see if zuko is gonna kill HIM. it's a very uncomfortable trip. it does not gain zuko entry into the igloo

that booby trapped ship from the pilot. zuko cleans it up. hakoda is like :/ fine he did a good job cleaning it up. he cannot come into the igloo.

zuko's self-doubt arc where he's like omg maybe hakoda's right maybe i SHOULD dump katara and then he's like no i would Never Abandon Her she already has abandonment issues i will stay unless she asks me to go

zuko and katara sneaking out of the village to watch auroras and canoodle or whatever and hakoda catches them canoodling but not in like a creepy way. like in a watches-katara-wake-up-from-a-nightmare-and-feel-safe-with-zuko kind of way. visual confirmation of katara feeling like a more whole and supported woman around him

i think it's so fun if unlike the northern water tribe the southern water tribe men defer to their women bc it's like a matriarchy or whatever and hakoda being like :/ that zuko also without anybody telling him seems to naturally defer to his woman

hakoda finding out katara feels Shame As A Woman not only for loving a firebender but for being infertile makes him check himself bc southern men don't treat women like that. bc they're fucking feminists, alright

hakoda always like katara my daughter you should have gotten together with aang not some pissbaby firebnder and katara finally snaps and is like aang IS a firebender dad he burnt my hands once and also tried to give me this necklace and hakoda shuts up about aang real quick. this may be a major turning point in the fic esp if he also finds about how zuko handled the southern raiders episode soon after. and maybe also about how zuko got the burn scar

on the southern raiders: hakoda mad at first until he realizes yeah no his 14yo killing people in cold blood would have been bad. however he does bully zuko into giving him this man's home address and then disappears for a few weeks

hakoda undergoing the journey of learning to think of zuko as someone who was hurt by the fire nation too (it doesn't cancel out that he is PART of the fire nation but it still matters)

ANYWAY, eventually zuko does get to enter the igloo. a few possibilities:

zuko enters the igloo without permission, but he does it in order to save hakoda or katara's life (maybe katara needs mouth-to-mouth 😏) from um whatever threats there might be…oil-grubbing norther water tribe assassins or something (those guys really want their oil, it's a whole thing). zuko of course exits immediately after this

zuko COULD save their lives by entering the igloo but still waits for permission, which is given. he is probably about .5 seconds from doing it without permission anyway in this scenario zuko saves hakoda or katara's life somehwere outside the igloo and is THEN invited to come inside

zuko carries hakoda on his back through 20 miles of frozen tundra zuko carries hakoda AND katara through a snowstorm somehow and it's his firebending specifically that keeps them all alive and he gets to the igloo and he's like hey i can't carry you in there without permission to come in and hakoda is like NO and katara is like dad i will kill you myself and hakoda is like ok fine

zuko goes ice-dodging and becomes a man in hakoda's eyes which finally gains him igloo entry

zuko disappears with hakoda so hakdoa can have his field trip with zuko and he helps hakoda kill that firebender. this earns igloo entry or, finally, hakloda simply goes to pieces when he finds out zuko has proposed but not with a necklace. however southern water tribe men do it. great job, zuko!

anyway, after that everyone in the southern water tribe basically uses him as a little matchbook all the time and katara is like is this fine with you and he's like yeah man your dad is so nice. and katara is like ??? before remembering he is comparing it with his own dad. who is technically her inlaw. so she got the shitty end of the inlaw stick and he knows it. so he's fine with this. and they live happily ever after until katara gets the itch to travel again and they spend 6 months in the south and 6 months elsewhere and eventually she adopts a bunch of southern water tribe war orphans to pass along their traditions to. the end.

thank you for asking.

WIP ask game

[solarfyn]

author's note

hellooooo minsung ficathon readers! i feel like i'm a Pretty Niche skz author, so if you're new to my page, hello and welcome! i'm a multishipper and lover of character explorations, serious and Unserious. sometimes i like to do these horrifically long authors notes for my fics because i spent a long time writing them! and i love to break down my thought processes, so hopefully you find this somewhat entertaining sldkhfliwehflishdf

first off, this fic would not exist without the movies Everything Everywhere All At Once and Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse (and ofc the first spider-verse movie). the concept of traveling across the multiverse in the name of love is something so beautiful to me and i really wanted to capture that and really hone in on the "soulmate" concept that minsung seem to fit so well into! so if you haven't already, i highly suggest you check those movies out <3

now for the actual writing process...

god this fic fought me so hard. fun fact, this was one of the very first fics i started for minsung! way back in i think--what was it, april 2024? i originally picked it up as an off-season prompt from round 4, and then took way too long to complete it, and then abandoned it for about half a year, and then changed my mind and resubmitted it as a self-prompt for round 5, so it took me exactly a year to finish it!!!! it's been shuffled through about 4 significant google doc drafts hahaha

i had so much trouble writing this one, just because it encompassed so many different minhos and jisungs, and i didn't really know how to explore that in a fic. one of my biggest struggles was i spent far too long in the spinoff universes, trying to establish those, instead of focusing on the Reason why jisung was out here fixing things up in different worlds.

what is jisung prime's goal? why is he going out of his way to do all these things? the real center of the fic should be jisung, figuring out that running away from his problems by conveniently being whisked into a bunch of universes is Not the move. that he needs to focus on himself back Home too. i realized this about uhh. a month before this fic was due? so Far too late in the game. LSKDFLSKF anyway it turned out fine so remember everyone... trust your gut and trust the process...

because i've spent so long on this fic, i ended up doing Heavy editing and some serious rewrites for the first half of it because i was learning how to Write Fanfiction the past year, and so the beginning draft was. so rough. please see an excerpt from the original document below...

i wrote this bit in april of 2024, and at this point i was Extremely aware that my writing didn't meet my own expectations. i didn't like the flow, i didn't like how robotic jisung's thoughts were, and i didn't like how it was so short! i think being able to write 11 (!!!) fics and 7 drabbles since last year helped me a lot so i could come back and finish this one :)

it took me a little while to find my footing within this fandom especially because it's so big!!! but eventually i found my friends and they've inspired me so very much so i'd just like to shoot a short thank you to everyone i've met-- you guys make me love writing <3 and it's been amazing to bounce ideas and skills and advice off of each other!!

in another life is my longest fic to date, spanning across a grand total of 28,395 words. if you know me, you know that wordcounts are my ENEMY. before this, NONE of my fics have crossed 10k, and more often than not, i'm out here cranking out so many ideas in the form of drabbles, and just never expanding on them. so to create a fic that took a whole year of my attention span on Top of being 28k words is pretty cool. that's an accomplishment that i'll pat myself on the back for!

ok now let's pretend we're having a conversation.

you: so, with this many universes, i'm sure there are... ones that got Rejected, right? me: yeah do you want to see them here you go enjoy

unfortunately i did have to cut some universes out from the final lineup for length and time purposes... in an ideal world this fic would have a gazillion different situations for jisung prime to prance around in, but at a certain point, he's not really doing too much in them anymore! the more mini stories i add, the more it takes away from the main "point" of the fic... so i had to cut it short to one of each "category" for jisung to learn from

jisung prime's world, canon compliant

canon divergence

childhood friends to eventual lovers

spiderhan. there's no explanation to this i just really wanted to write spiderhan

QUEERBAITING!!!!

inspired by eeaao's rock scene, but i wanted to make minsung a couple of cosmos flowers <3

(+ a secret nct one that my good friend and beta hal suggested HAHA it was perfect and so funny and i just had to add it to the fic)

also canon divergence, but with a Big Regret

now for the rejected ones and Why...

this idea spawned from when i was deep in the trenches of my bridgerton hyperfixation (around when season 3 was released). i did not have the capacity to figure out how regency era minsung would have used english... that's it... that's the whole reason... but here's a little snippet from my comments....

2. so... big news.. i actually repurposed this and created an entire universe inspired by teen wolf!!! unfortunately for some of you it is vaguely implied poly ot8 (they're a wolf pack!!! they're gonna do wolf pack things!!! sometimes it includes a little polyamory!!!), so if that's not your thing, i am sorry and please only read the first installment of the series, which will be minsung-focused, found here <3

3. coffee shops are cute, but i don't think it would've added much to the story unfortunately... maybe in the future i could write it as a standalone?? no promises though!

oh yeah! a final note... one of the biggest of the small details was that i made sure not to let minsung kiss a single time until the very end. as mentioned above, i wanted to make sure the end goal of the fic was for minsung to get together in their Own world. and so if jisung got with minho in a different universe, that's taking away the attention from jisung's original goal. does that make sense? i hope that made sense. feel free to dm me if it doesn't at any point hehehe.

man these blog posts always get way too long and way too disorganized. it's fine, we'll get better with every post hahaha that's always how it is... stick with your passions friends! they will reward you <3

[daincrediblegg]

Hey egg can I ask for advice? You're vehemently against AI right? Like chatbots? I'm writing something and I had an idea that has multiple options. My brain is telling me to ask an AI about its opinion because I am so afraid of talking to a real person that doesn't give a fuck about what I'm writing. Like I'm like "no ill go ask my friend on Discord but they don't care about this they have their own shit to think about I shouldn't bother them with this" but the AI has no feelings its just a tool. A game doesn't care if you don't play it for 3 years. If you don't talk to a friend for that long that friendship is over

Ok. Let me lay it on you true and straight and tough but with love: literally there is no way AI could help you. Period. The thing about generative ai in particular and something that has always been true of chatbots even 10 years ago when I last looked is that while the language may have changed and the programming may be slightly more robust they literally cannot form their own honest to god opinion and therefore can never be helpful in endeavors of the human spirit.

Problem is that well dude? I’ve been where you’re at too. A lot of the time I actually feel also like “well nobody gives a fuck about what I want to say with what I write so why bother” about my own shit- and not even in a “once and long ago” kind of way like? I have days where (even when I know for a FACT that it’s not true!!!) that the whole Lady Terror novel that I’ve spent 2 years of my free time creative effort might not be worth it! And that’s even with lots of support from other people (which I’m of course greatful for!) but like. That’s how it is sometimes. Even writing partners or friends (which is a HUGE boon when you find such creative collaborators) get busy. Life happens to people and it can feel like they don’t care. But experience is yours: a lot of the time that isn’t the case. And it takes a lot to reach out- god knows I have trouble with that part. But I know if anyone just popped up in my notifs to chat even if it had been years I’d be thrilled to talk, and if I feel that way myself then it must be true for others. Don’t ever let anxiety win on that score my friend it ain’t worth it. My mom has had friends where she hadn’t talked to them in literal DECADES and picked them back up like no problem. Trust me it’s not a big deal.

But here’s ANOTHER secret where my experience is yours: you don’t necessarily need other people to solve your problem, sometimes you just need to figure out how to get over yourself with a writing problem. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mulled over a creative problem with myself like the one you have, but the thing is like 99% of the time with those, if there’s multiple options, I kindof usually already know the one I’ve really picked out as the one I actually want in my head, and I need to talk to someone else to get myself to admit that. Now I know how tempting that might be to feed it to a chatbot and see what comes out because like I know for me I’d probably see what it allegedly “opined” and know if it was a shit idea or not instantly and the problem would be solved. But professionally I gotta tell ya: don’t feed a chatbot ideas or it will give them to someone else. You don’t want that.

So here’s my advice; ofc you can phone a friend, who cares how long it’s been. Better than nothing. OR, if you’ve got too much anxiety for that- I’d say sit down with yourself. Write out your options. Doing it in a notebook helps me a lot (nice to have the slowed down, tactile sensation of actually putting pen to paper. Helps you mull over a bit longer than you might have otherwise), but if that’s too expensive/not your speed/you prefer digital space, haul up a new doc specifically to write it down. 9 times out of 10 it helps me figure out what I really want to get out of a narrative that I’m plotting out. And you know what? It’s a legitimate skill that writing a chatbot cannot teach you, hell I’ve even had creative writing professors who can’t teach a damn about this. Developing the skill of figuring out what kind of story you want to see, what you haven’t seen before, what a story needs. It’s instinct that comes free but developing it is worth its weight in gold.

Don’t outsource a skill you can have to a dipshit bot. Ever. That is all. Good luck 👍

[morning-sun-brah]

Okay so I've just GOTTA know... how the hell do you write the way you do?? I haven't been able to get sucked into any written work since high school, trauma brain and all. I used to live in books so it's been hell, but your writing got me back into reading, and makes it so I can get lost into that little world again, which I've craved but been able to have for like... so long. Writing is something I've always been into, but I let my fear of failure and need for perfection stop me. Just... do you have any advice for beginners?? It would mean the world to me, but I understand if it's an annoying ask! Thanks for reading no matter what!

Well I am just a mess reading this (in the best way possible).

First of all, thank you so much omfg. And of COURSE it isn't annoying! This is so flattering I'm about to cry my dude.

As far as tips on writing, I feel like I am not the person to ask because I'm just this little weirdo on the internet who likes turtles lol. But!! In an attempt to try and give real advice here is my response... and it got a little wordy so it's all under the break lmaoooo.

~Gin's rambling attempt to give writing advice~

Practice! Literally the only reason I can string coherent words together is because I've been doing this as a hobby for like two whole decades.

Also!! Read! Consuming other fics and books really helps. Sometimes you find a way of saying something that sticks with you. Sometimes you sit and think "I would have done it this way/said it this way." Sometimes you come out on the other end and go "Wow I am a hack that was amazing." Sometimes you finish something and go "Wow that was fucking terrible I'm amazing." Sometimes you read something and it fires off your brain, and you are left itching to write your own story. But however you feel, it's all GOOD FOR WRITING. It helps you grow! It literally helps you find your voice!

Other little things; When I write, I truly immerse myself. I am playing out in cinema format what is happening in the "scene." How is this person reacting? How do they look- down to facial expressions. How are they feeling? Is this something they would say? (would they fucking say that??? is something I think to myself every time I open a doc) And when I write it all down, I try my very best to convey that "scene" that played out in my head. I try to capture that character's voice, their mannerisms, their habits.

Does this even make sense? I sure hope so.

Also, flow. Make sure we're moving right along. Keep track of where hands, legs, and torsos are. If they were sitting when the scene started, and you need them standing to kiss or fight or do a thumb war, at some point you need to make sure you say they stood up. If a hand was on a cheek, it can't suddenly be on an ankle without telling the reader what happened.

I also just think adding little details helps with immersion. When we talk to people, we don't just stand around. We fidget. We pick our nails or scratch our arms or shuffle our feet. All those little details can add to that immersion (or I think so, I'm no expert). "He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck before saying..." - Wow, what an awkward little shit. "They scrunched their nose and gave a near-violent eye-roll" - Oh ok they are annoyed! "She shifted her feet and replied"- cool she's being a person, I shift my feet too, neato.

Anyway, nothing I wrote 20 years ago is as good as it is now. I'm highly convinced that I'll think the same thing in another 10 years, about anything I've published recently. But it is getting better, and it's because I keep at it. Having friends in the fandom and beta readers really helps. Make sure you find someone who you know will be positive but honest. And remember, YOU are always going to be your own worst critic.

God why did anyone ever let me have access to a computer. Why the FUCK is this so long? Does it even make sense? Jfc, I'm going to post it and eat a fucking cookie.

I believe in you anon. Also, I love you and thank you so much for making my whole week. I'm going to be so obnoxious about this shit, everyone expect to hear from my ass an annoying amount (kidding, but seriously I'm so fucking flattered thank you so much. This kind of shit makes me wonder what the fuck you're all reading because I swear I am just a silly gal with seasonal depression who needs a haircut).

((Also, anon, I wish you nothing but the best. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that I am sending you like a million hugs))

[devondespresso]

1, 25, 81, 94 for the fanfic ask game! <3

KOKO HELLOOOOOOO ad thank you so much for the ask 💕💗💖💞💝 i went a little wild and had to reign it back in a bit and its still pretty long so apologies in advance

(ask game we're talking about is here but i also have questions next to the answers)

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

for the vast majorty of my fics i think i have a pretty good idea of where its going to go, i think because i get the ideas of these cool scenes usually set in act 2 or 3 or i at least the vibe i want from the start and The Point is usually clear the second i put thought into it. currently the only exceptions are 1) this super secret (woooo~~~) ficlet im working on that came from a prompt so i had to spend like 3 or 4 days writing it to properly understand the direction i wanted to take it, and 2) the steve henderson au, which is fucking massive already and it's even bigger in my head stnzgns. that one you obviously know how it ends y'know, it aint the steve henderson au if steve doesnt become a Henderson, but for all the arcs i have along the way it took a while to properly figure out what i doing and how to do that and im just now figuring out what that looks like for the first major arc.

so tldr: usually i know, sometimes i gotta figure it out, but i do need to have it figured out before it can really take shape

25. what’s your revision or rewriting process like?

oof ok so i tried writing this and good fucking god explaining everything i do in editing took up so much space. so this is the short answer for convenience but if anyone wants a long answer im foaming at the mouth to talk about writing stjsnystn (the rest under the cut)

the majority of my process is editing and sometimes first drafts are literally unrecognizable from the final. a lot of how i edit line by line is intuitive/vibes based, and whole scenes/arcs/pacing/flow/theme etc etc is based on a really deconstructed thought process for storytelling, to put it as briefly as i can (because this is one of the parts that got really long) its about The Why of everything going into the story. Picking details or making decisions not based rigidly on formula or trends but instead whats best for the kind of story you want to tell (and then making sure to implement it in a way that actually does that in the story).

for small works i prefer to just change shit as i see it and not worry about doing focused passes through the work, but in the steve Henderson au i literally cannot its too fucking big smhdmyxyn so in that case i do passes that span like whole writing sessions just hyperfocused on this one thing. one of my favorite passes is in-character passes where i pick one person (often dustin bc hes a main character), rewatch them a ton to get in their headspace, and go back and make sure everything they say or do fits them as if they were the sole focus if the story. I'll also do passes to focus just on medical accuracy, passes for a specific character duos to keep their story progressing and consistent, passes for ideas that stay between the lines making sure they stay consistent and understanding how much information im conveying, character's specific mindsets that their arc is about and making sure they dont have any unintentional exceptions, literally if its a thing in the text i probably need to do a pass for it so i know its consistent

also more lighthearted stuff tends to need wayyyy less editing time and its a more balanced half solo half beta process. the easiest was the claudia henderson drabble because it was really just a backstory with an active scene or two all rooted in her outside persective.

also sometimes i just start from scratch halfway through, like mr crayola henderson has one previous half-complete version in my doc fhdlas tho i guess thats how drafts are supposed to work

and this is the tldr im sorry i dont want to cut it down any more just read this one its my favourite fdhaskl

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

honestly i wouldn't have much to tell them. i didn't start writing fanfic until july of last year?? something like that and i started with the steve henderson au. maybe don't write that one about the triggering thing lol.

actually wait no. id tell them its okay to abandon projects (and maybe tell them not to make some purchases dgnxngsyn) but ye i spent a while mourning projects because they felt like they ceased to exist, but i had several screenplay outlines that probably helped me a ton. in my writing and those experiences never leave me so their existence still had a purpose and value

tldr: dont write your very recent triggers silly goose, dont cry over abandoned art

94. do you prefer dialogue or description?

i definitely prefer dialogue, and with it action descriptions because i still think in movie-medium (tho i am getting better at understanding how the FUCK prose works and especially prose pacing oh my god why can't i just hold on an actors face for several seconds of silence gAAH!!). i like saying things without saying them, i like subtly building towards something body language until a snap, i looooove making blocking relevant in a medium where you're not even seeing the movement with your eyes, and i love getting into a characters head so far that each person has a different way to word something or a different detail they focus on or a certain tick that tells the other character whats in their head.

but i struggle with internal monologue sooooooo hard, its a practiced skill im actively working on to write a characters internal logic about something but still keeping it from being too on the nose about whats really going on. like i can do it but i struggle to fill page time with it because exploring ideas at least for me usually leads to the source and thats decidedly not where the characters going! its a tuesday afternoon! they're not unpacking shit they're trying to have a third coffee!! i also struggle finding the best words for the reader to feel the text, like idk man maybe im using the onelook dictionary wrong but it just does not get me what im looking for in under three looks zgnshnsyn

tldr: dialogue and blocking, good description is witchcraft

_

but yee thank you again for the ask dude!! this was so much fucking fun i fucking love talking about writing and the logic process behind everything. thanks anyone seeing this for actually reading this far 💕

[silver-wield]

I want to wash my eyes, today I saw for the first time the indoctrination files c/rith gives to their audiences. I saw a new player waving it around as proof. Selected ultimania quotes and of course, essays. I like how they write down ways to argue with clotis and zeriths. Such as, "if they say C isn't himself as soldier C, tell them A is the only one who can bring out the "real" him as shown in part 1". They keep repeating the "real" part again and again and trying to emphasize the appeal of the crackship which is ~healing~

No wonder they thrown toriyama away for directly stating C only shows his real self with T ONLY and unlike them I'm not going to put " marks on the word real. And no wonder they hate T with a burning passion because she actually does heal him.

If they include AC and say she heals there? First, C's ultimately the one who forgave himself of his guilt, let's not forget that because they like to erase that part and that everyone, T, A, and Z are part of that process of reminding him that it has to be him. And geostigma is her direct responsibility as a steward of the planet nothing singled out there.

They like to manipulate and rely on the player's laziness to look for information (what are they? Fucking Jenova?). Even to give ways to "fight" back. No wonder they all sound the same. Ugh I just realized the existence of LTD and ship wars in FF7 is giving the illusion that nothing is canon even if CT have more sources than any other ship in FF franchise. It gas lights them into thinking nothing is canon even if it's quite literally right in their faces.

P.S. I fcking hate with a burning passion how anybody gives interpretation essays as proof. Or media tropes and fan service as proof of canon. No wonder sometimes I see some former C/As getting angry at their creators because what they have are only interpretation instead of in game content.

Yeah they all have this weird shared doc they use to argue from that's basically just more lies and bullshit because it's all incorrect info and shit translations they skewed in their favour.

At no point does it say anywhere that aeri brings out Cloud's real self.

It's this quote they lie about. They claim Cloud being "conscious" is him being his real self while Tifa wants a soldier or whatever garbage they make up to ignore the proper text.

I could go into a whole thing over AC using the script and ultis to show what those idiots claim is total bullshit, but the short version is Aerith didn't do fuck all except trigger Cloud's trauma. She wasn't actually present for most of the film, even in the scenes she's shown in, and she didn't cure geostigma.

Ideky the devs put those stupid ribbons on everyone for someone they knew for three weeks two years previously. It makes no fucking sense to be mourning still.

I really want a rewrite of AC. It needs fixing so badly.

I'm honestly so tired of people acting like Aerith is bigger than god and nobody's allowed to say anything bad about her. She's not even a good character. She's selfish, spoiled, her job role in battle can literally be taken by every other character, she doesn't listen to anyone, whines, acts like she's the leader and everyone should do what she says because she exists, she harasses Cloud in ways that are so not ok but because she's a girl and "cute" she's somehow exempt from consequences, and people constantly put their feelings on her feelings alone on Cloud and turn him into a two timing pos douchebag because they and she refuse to fucking listen to the literal protagonist.

I'm actually annoyed we're stuck with her for the entirety of Rebirth. I was hoping we'd get rid of her halfway through at the most, but nauuu we get 40hrs of stupid ass sidequests that include flower picking because the devs think that's good content and one way or another they will make us put up with her.

Well, I ain't putting her in my party and I ain't doing her shitty sidequests, and lucky me, idgaf about trophies so it won't even matter that I don't platinum the game 🤷

[happyk44]

[Text ID: 1. #literally #i stopped posting because no one engages with my fics at all #it's not a pleasant feeling #i don't want to have to join fucking discord servers or some other forums just for the off chance that people might be discussing my fic #you have to leave comments on fics #or else what is the point

2. #how infuriating to know there are people saying nice things about you who won't say them *to* you

3. #i remember finding out once #that a group of mutual fandom acquaintances had an entire roleplay server based off one of my fics #meanwhile it was sitting at 50 hits 3 likes and 0 comments #then they got upset at my for shelving the fic like #what did you expect

4. #yeahhhhhhhh #every day my desire to write again is knocked down by shit like this

5. dude feed your writers and your artists #making art is lonely and we share it to find community

6. #ao3 #fandom #i struggle with the lack of comments so much #like I legit feel like there's no point in posting sometimes might as well just keep shit in the google docs

7. #my non-secret AO3 account's been updated recently and there hasn't been much engagement #it kind of soured me on updating those stories for awhile

8. why is there this weird push to make fandom less accessible to OTHER FANS?

9. #writing #i get kudos nearly every day and it's lovely #but i get comments like #once every few months #people are reading but not leaving their thoughts and ngl that kinda sucks

10. #How are writers supposed to know you like their work if they CANOT see it??? #How are they supposed to stay motivated and write more if they cannot see how many people actually like it??? #I am writing 13k - 15k chapters; do you know how LONG that takes??? How much time and effort??? #It's why I reblog the chapter index as much as I do; I NEED people to tell me if they like them #Otherwise it just feels like I'm posting my stuff on a brick wall that nobody is looking at #It's SO demotivating; to the point where I start to wonder if it's even worth continuing at times

11. #Brb literally crying at the very idea of how cheated I would feel if people did this for my fics

12. #(I keep discovering people that have - according to them - been gushing about my writing on discord) #(often I didn't even know these people existed because they never left me a comment) #(sometimes it's only months later through discord that I learn lots of people loved a scene that I thought totally flopped-) #(-because nobody ever once said anything about that scene in my comments.) #(if nobody says they liked it - I assume nobody liked it. please tell me if you like it.) #(you can tell your friends too but I'm gonna get more out of it than they are.)

13. #yeah I got six kudos the other day on a 150k fic from three years ago #and i was like ok clearly someone has shared this in their discord group and they've all read it and that's lovely! #they must have said really nice things about it for the whole group to presumably have about it a lot (it is 150k of fic) #wish a single one of them had said that in a comment instead of me having to just imagine the situation!

14. #fics literally need comments to survive like #yeah it's for yourself and for the job of creating #but it's a STORY #with detail put into it and plot twists and things that I want to #i'm TELLING YOU a story #of course I want to see how the people I'm telling the story to think lol #PLEASE comment

15. #i tried to get back into writing fic #but the sheer lack of comments made me feel less motivated #kinda need feedback or i feel like my writing is getting lost into the Void #so i deleted the fic and gave up

16. #this #like my god why go to such lengths to NOT tell the author you liked their fic #this sort of thing leads to despair and to writers quitting #please let writers know you appreciate their work #please #why must we beg for crumbs

17. #yeah #I try to avoid being driven or encouraged by comments too much #no matter how much I deeply love and appreciate everyone who DOES take that time #because people are tired and busy #but that feeling of if I stopped 10000 people would take my place #that hit kinda hard today

18. #I had this experience #people were talking about my fic on a server I wasn't on #meanwhile I was having an existential crisis because no one was commenting on the fic itself #i was ready to abandon it until someone told me about the server #only a few years ago i could expect at least 20 comments on each chapter #now if i hit double digits that feels like a win #fic writing woes

19. #please do this #writing is hard #[left arrow] prev tags #Ain't it #I see people rave about my stories on rec lists or see lovely comments in the bookmarks #You're already writing all that down #Why would you not tell ME #You know I am a human person right? #I publish these this for you to enjoy; I want to SHARE them with you

20. #sometimes i will get half a dozen kudos on the same fic in one day #(my fics are not popular so this is notable for me lol) #and it does make me wonder if the link just got posted in a group chat somewhere that i'm not part of #i did once get added to such a group chat and i was like... why didn't any of you comment?

21. #yeah I had dozens of docs on ff.net #ao3? 2 #what's the point of writing fanfiction when it can stay perfect in my head and I get the same level of engagement anyway #I posted to find people to talk about the stuff I liked #nobody wants to chill so I don't post anymore

22. #THIS #I'll randomly get an uptick of kudoses on an older fic and know someone shared it in a group chat #But no comments :/

23. #jfc that just makes me want to scream #hey kids guess what - if you create these little book clubs and exclude fic authors #you won't get any more fic #i can't tell you how much the comment count on my fics has gone down over the years #because this generation of fans think that kudos or inbox-squeeing or DMs is a substitute for an actual comment

24. I've been told by a reader "they love your fic in my server" and like oh.... Okay, guess I'll never find out. Oh well.

/end ID]

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they’re starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they’re reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there’s 10,000 other people that will continue…but if you participate in a fic “book club” server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don’t rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit “post”

[letmejustletmejustletmejust]

Ahem.

Hi, Beau!

I used to have a Chromebook. A chromebook, you know, where everything started. I had everything on there. I had words on IT homework, I had old drafts, I had the letter I wrote to Noah.

Yeah, I've fucking lost it all. I logged back in today, after a year of not using it, and all the files are fucking gone. I don't know where to find them. I still have Noah's letter, because I (stupidly) downloaded the damn thing and sent the text doc to him. Idiotly. You know. As you do. So I've got that if I ever want to cringe at past me.

Or, well.

I fucking would have had the shit I wrote about you too if I hadn't fucking. Lost it. FUCK.

I'm irrationally angry about this. Simultaneously more than two years & two years to the day, I'm still somewhat in love with you however the fuck I put it, and I'm irrationally angry about it. Fuck, man. Why did I find that Pin that Monday the 13th, why didn't I just stick to homework or some shit, like I'm completely not doing right now, why did I actually think this was a good idea? Why did I queue up the Discover Weekly playlist, why did I discover that goddamn fucking song? Why did I think it was you? Why do I still think it's you, however much I fucking... yeah ok whatever I'm just. Pissed.

Two years ago, on Monday February 13th, 2023, I penned a little letter. Or, well. It wasn't a letter. It was a trace of a playlist cover wrapped up and folded into a pretty letter, adorned with blue and pink highlighters I still use today and slipped into my blazer pocket just in case. Well.

I don't think I need to remind you what happened next. You guessed it all on your own.

Now, of course. This letter is about that day. But, of course, with everything about you, it's always about so much more. Even today. Especially today. Not necessarily today, today, but today as in a couple months ago the world was turned upside down and I'm still feeling it. Are you still feeling it? (What am I saying it? Of course you do. Even a little.)

You see, I can't- god, I can't think about you two without the other. And it's painful. It fucking hurts. And yet I still love her and miss her and yet I still think too hard or too little when I'm around you like it's early 2023 and I haven't fucked everything up.

But yeah. I'm just. I fucking lost the Chromebook files. I was going to read them again, as a sort of occasion, you know, two years ago I did a thing and it emotionally charged all this writing... but no, it's all fucking gone! God fucking damnit!

I feel like someday I might see this as a good thing. That it's me stepping away. Do I want to? Not really. It still feels good, even under all of the grief and angst and embarrassment and guilt. It feels good to love someone. It feels good to be some way shape or form in love with you.

I've never really written that. It's been the point this whole time. I've been able to do this, I've managed to keep myself relatively normal about this, because I know that it's not something that will go away. I was, am, will be until some point in the future, in love with you.

You're an amazing person, and you deserve the world. You don't need me to do any of that, but I'm fucking cheering for you anyway because I am in love with you.

It doesn't change my actions, really. It's just a thing. That happens. Even when I'm bombing math about a semester from now, it won't change how I feel about you. Maybe on the surface, I'll be chill about it, I'll be able to control how I feel about all of it, but underneath, it's always gonna be there. I guess... yeah. I guess I'll just live with it.

Anyways. I hope you don't ever need to read this, and I hope you don't ever need to think about what happened back then. I maintain that that was the worst decision I may have ever made in my life. Ever. My god.

Doesn't really stop how I feel, though.

<3

[vitaminwaterreviews]

S.E.S. - Sea & Eugene & Shoo

Yeah, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I guess this is what I should’ve expected. It’s very 1st gen, slow jams and decent dance-pop. Dreams Come True really is that song, the rest just doesn’t hold up. That said, this first half was much better than the second half, there were some good songs in there. It is crazy though how much they sound like they do in Remember, despite the 20 year difference. Average score of 7.2 which feels maybe a bit high but oh well.

This is just notes, so I’m not gonna type anything fancy about the whole project. I’ve got another doc with other notes, and I’ll end up writing a proper post at some point, too. If you happen to be reading this, thanks for scrolling this far!

I think it’s very fitting that this is the last album I get around to. For a while, the only 1st gen song that I knew was Dreams Come True. So let’s end this whole project with the associated album.

Shy Boy

Okay, this beat is doing some cool stuff here

Haha the bass is a bit fuzzy

OMG is it unnamed male rapper time??

And now we’re synthy and hype

Haha Jesus Bada chill out

Like, a single rap line

Nmixx change up

This rap sounds familiar

Nmixx change up

And now we’re back here

What? It just ends there?

8/10, definitely a vibe but I’m kinda confused

Dreams Come True

Currently #14 on my Favorites playlist, but that might be a bit high

Oh this does have a music video doesn’t it? Let’s see

S P A C E

That is exactly what the song sounds like tbf

Oh wow this song has Choreo, alright then

10/10, gorgeous

Snow, X-Mas

Synth

Bass

Here we are, here are the christmas bells

The beat does Not match the bells at all haha

Lol WHAT the “aye aye aye aye” part wtf

The screams I stg

Needs more bells

…No, I didn’t say it needs more slap bass, I said it needs more bells

Yeah there we go

Slow it down now

Really mixed emotions for this song

7/10 

I Love You

Oh no, that synth

Oh no, these percussions

Oh ok, it’s not as slow jammy as I was expecting, that’s nice

This synth is doing some cool things in the background

Random unnamed male rapper time, because of course it is

Bro, two raps from this guy? You literally have a rapper in your group, use her!

Three. Three raps from Mr. Unnamed Male Rapper I stg

7/10

Feeling

Piano with a jam

Bit of distorted vocalizations

Now we’ve got claps, some strings

And here’s the beat

This is really nice actually, I love the build up here

That bass is making itself heard and I’m here for it

Woahhhh okay, I hear you Bada

8/10, solid song, good song

Elegy

Well if “Elegy” isn’t the title of a ballad then I dunno what is

OH MY GOD

iTS FUCKING

WAIT

GENIE??

Okay wait pause the slow jam I need to hear this now

Even the footsteps are the same wtf

And the car door too

Okay, it’s not exactly the same. But there is a 100% chance that Genie is referencing this song with that part.

It’s not the guitar solo you expect when you hear the words “guitar solo” but it sure is the guitar solo that you got

6/10, not bad, but the only part that really caught my attention was the intro

Find A Lover

Back to funky, back to unnamed male rapper

Or is this two dudes?

I really like the rap verse here, with the background vocals over the rap

“Yeah yeah yeahhh,” and actually the background vocals in general doing good work

7/10 I guess, maybe that’s a bit high but 6 for the last one was probably a bit low

For You

I’m waiting for this slow jam to do something that all the other slow jams haven’t done yet

I’ll probably be waiting a long while for that

Oh okay, whispering over instrumentals is new I guess

Sexy male rapper whispering ooooh

Spotify doesn’t have lyrics for this one, damn, didn’t catch the English

6/10, kinda boring, but you know my taste

Kiss

Oh the vocals, they’re so bubblegum

The horn hits are alright

Nmixx change up

Did I just hear a meow?

Mr. Unnamed Male Rapper, this time with guitars in the background

Haha he just said “And now, back to the subject”

People really acting like Nmixx are something new when S.E.S. were doing this shit 25 years ago

7/10

Eternal Love

Apparently this song is also a cover of Nylon Beat

Unfortunately, it happens to be a slow jam

The little bass “vroom” before the chorus is so cute

They always give Bada’s voice this dramatic echo when she hits a high note. Like, c’mon, I can hear her just fine, I don’t need the echo to emphasize it

6/10

[gatzbright]

3 4 & 11 🫶🫶

BELLA hi !! :D ♥️🫂

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

oooo ok okay. for fics usually like half the time it honestly starts with a title, because recently that will come from a song that has inspired the vibe or story i wanna write. i love pretty lyrics and they just jump out at me straight away and i'm like THAT NEEDS TO BE A FIC TITLE. then i start writing but a lot of the time i write random scenes that come way later bc i am impatient in my writing, but also entirely all over the place, and i just have scenes come to me in full force and i have to get them down. this is also not helpful when i have a 5k doc and only like 1k of actual coherent and Chronological fic. but yeah it gets written in the end after much chaos (hopefully. i mourn my fic graveyard on the daily ... shout out to australia fic. goodbye goodbye goodbye u were bigger than the whole sky and u will be missed). my attention span is also nonexistent on a bad day (adhd is so fun) and i will repeatedly find myself zoned out and staring at a wall. but then there's good days and i DO write :D i very much have to be in the mood to write too, and i am also a slow writer, but each to their own ya know! we are all writers n people and we are all different, and that's what makes life so fun. don't be hard on yourself guys bc u have ur own way of doing things and u ROCK (trying to convince myself that slow writing is fine. we will get there. whew). then comes posting time and i both love and loathe doing tags lmao. i love writing the free random tags but then remembering what people may Actually search to come across my fic is hard and annoying pft and i usually just get my previous fics up and look at their tags or the ones for other fics i know are similar. summaries and formatting and links also suck so bad. my god. i usually copy paste all of it over from my previous fic again and change where necessary. but yeah that is it and then i hopefully have a coherent and fun fic to post :D

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

i answered this one in the post before this so if anyone wants to read it is there :)

5. Link your three favorite fics right now

OOOOOO MY GOSH. YES. love this lets go (heads to my email to zero in on the fics i Know made me sob endlessly). house of gold (rated m) by tippysleeps is one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching fics i have read lately, if ever, and i sobbed at the end very hard into my pillow and made it extremely damp. this is so pos please read it i am yelling. it's like george moves to florida n then lots of domestic slice of life moments almost vignette style but still so in depth, and it reached into my chest and squeezed my heart n slotted right in next to it and there it shall stay. tippysleeps is a genius everyone needs to read his fics go go go. asystole (rated e; no minors) by womanhunt is incredible and i also cried while reading this fic (shoutout to bella !!!). dream and george go to london and george is experiencing being back there for the first time since his move, all alongside seeing dream in the city he grew up in. it's fluffy established relationship, while also making ur heart ache, alongside some flashbacks that i adored, and entirely full of love—it is love and dnf captured in a few thousand words. instigate the paradigm by nervouswaltz (also rated e; minors don't interact) i loved this fic so much it tore me to pieces when i read it. bird is such an incredible writer (ily birdy) who's words are always so visceral and he ties love and life and the experience of being human all together into every fic he writes. this one is a bodyswap fic and i think it's a very important read to make u think n see yourself from another persons eyes, and is all about learning to love yourself. it's so beautiful guys :( buh. please check out birds fics !!!