#god this season is so fucking DARK I can’t see SHIT

[toastybugguy]

CRYING SO FUCKING HARD AT THE WAY SCOTT STRAIGHT UP GIGGLES WHEN STILES RUNS AND HUGS HIM… HOW DID I NOT CATCH THIS BEFORE. biting my entire fist right now. tears streaming down my face.

[deathbecomesthem]

Eddie Munson x Best friend!reader | ~1K

Summary: It's the perfect solution. You need a place to stay, he needs someone to help with the rent.

*There be some male masturbation below.

A/N: I don't know. I was supposed to be writing something else. I just think they're neat. Will there be more? Who fucking knows, I certainly don't.

---

It was a stupid idea born out of necessity. All of the most memorable things in life begin that way. You needed somewhere cheap and immediately available and his roommate ran off with the bartender he met less than a month ago. These are the days to remember - early 20s when life can change at the flick of a zippo in a dark alleyway. That’s what got Gareth, the girl that lit his cigarette. He never stopped seeing her in the soft glow of that low flame, and it left Eddie without someone to pay the other half of the rent.

And there you were, broken hearted and bleeding in front of him. In need. And he could push away those thoughts that linger in his quiet and empty bedroom in the privacy of the night. He could make a space for you, he could help you. So he did. It all came together over the hashbrowns and pancakes seasoned by your tears. Your best friend, Eddie, made a proposal that would save the day and be perfect for both of you.

Eddie Munson - your hero with a spare room and the promise of an escape from that motherfucking dickhead that stained your sheets with that girl from his office.

—

It’s the first full day, and Eddie is standing in his own kitchen with his cock pressed painfully hard against his fly at the sight of you bending down to fish the griddle out from the low cupboard next to the oven. He bites the inside of his cheek until the taste of metal hits the tip of his tongue. He adjusts himself and clears his throat while he watches your hips jiggle. The blue and purple wings of the butterfly on the soft love handle above your left him seem to flap with the movement of your arms.

“Uh, when the fuck did you get that?” Eddie’s question startles you. Your head bangs against the shelf in the cupboard your elbow deep into. “Oh shit, are you ok?”

“Yeah,” you back out of the small space and stand with your hand on the top of your head, “I think I’ll make it.” 

The first thing you notice when you look at Eddie is the red at the top of his ears. This is something you rarely get to see because of the way his shaggy curls hang around his face. This morning his hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck, and those hot ears are on full display. You think, I wonder what they would feel like against my tongue,

These are the kinds of thoughts that you’ve been having for Eddie for a long time. Months. Years maybe. These are the kinds of thoughts that make this entire arraignment the worst idea. These are the kinds of thoughts that keep you company in the dark when you chase after secret pleasure in the privacy of your own touch.

“So.” Eddie’s hands are gripping the back of the vinyl chair on the opposite side of the small kitchen table from where you're standing. “So, when did you get that tattoo?”

Your eyebrows pinch together in thought, but your hand travels back to touch the marked skin before your mind catches up. It feels hot at the thought of his gaze scanning across it. You can practically feel the inked skin dancing against your fingers.

“Oh! God, I forget it’s there.” You smile and can feel heat creep across your skin at not only the question, but also in the way his eyes look black. The way he shifts from foot to foot. You can’t help but let your own eyes scan across the inked skin of his arm while you think of how to answer. “I got it a few months ago. It’s stupid. A butterfly? It’s embarrassing.”

Eddie sighs and smiles. He turns his head a little. It’s a shy kind of gesture you’ve seen him do before, but without his hair to obscure his lips you can see that secret lift of his lips. It makes your knees feel weak to see it, and you think about running your fingers across his cheek. You think about his eyes fluttering at your soft touch.

“It suits you. You shouldn’t be embarrassed.” Eddie clears his throat again and turns his head to look out of the small window above the kitchen sink. He doesn’t know that this gives you the perfect view of his long neck. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

“Oh, ok. I’m making some homefries,” at your words, Eddie meets your gaze again and it knocks the breath out of you for a beat. Your next words come out on an exhale, and you want to shrink to the size of a grain of salt so he’ll stop looking at you, “how do you like your eggs?”

“However you make them, Sweetheart. I’ll be back soon.” You watch Eddie spin on his heels and walk awkwardly down the hallway before returning to the task at hand. Coffee, homefries, and eggs as a thank you to Eddie for letting you move in so quickly. You laugh at the shake in your hands and think about how stupid you are for letting your imagination run wild like this. This is Eddie, your Eddie. These foolish fantasies need to chill out. You can’t live like this.

—

Eddie’s head is pressed against the tile in the shower, warm water flows down his body in rivulets. He thinks about the way the purples and blues danced on your skin. The way those pretty lined stretch marks bracket around it. He thinks about the way his fingers would feel pressed into that skin, and squeezes his aching cock the way he wants to squeeze you. 

The water runs down his face. Warm water runs into and out of his open mouth while he imagines the way those purple and blue marks dance under him. The way his fingers feel holding your hips still as his cock reaches deeper and deeper inside of you.

This was the worst idea he’s ever had, but he can’t care right now.

[rklve]

SHOT GLASS OF TEARS | JEON JUNGKOOK - DRABBLE ONE

summary: when eveything falls apart

➣ pairing: jk x f!reader

➣ 1.6k words

warnings: angst.

song inspo: shot glass of tears - jk

I was cold, now I'm freezing stuck in a permanent season and we both know you're the reason I'm not the same as before I don't feel anymore

part one | part two | drabble one

He feels like his heart is being ripped outta his chest. Never thought he would feel this pain. Not this kind of pain, inflicted by you at least. Anyone but you. Feels betrayed, blindsided, backstabbed. No, he can’t even look you straight in the eyes right now. Everything he sees is blur. Confusion. Pain. Tears. “Koo..” you say softly, trying to reach out to him again. Trying to soothe him with your sweet tone. Your sweet touch. Anything. But he refuses to give in. Refuses to let you get away with this. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to us, Bee.” he chokes out, “Can’t fucking believe” “You gotta understand that—“ “I do!” he shouts out “I do understand.” he looks down to you as you shrug on his bed, big eyes glistening full of tears. His favorite eyes. Now he doesn’t seem to know them anymore. He actually feels like he doesn’t know you, the person he spent the past years with. The person he loves the most. His safety zone. His fucking soulmate. Or at least that’s what he thought you were. Before this mess. Before he found out you were planning on leaving him. “What about our dreams?” he babbles out “What about our promises, Bee?” he whispers, words waterlogged, and he feels like he’s about to cry, he really is. Feels sick to his stomach. Feels powerless and overwhelmed. Feels trapped in a nightmare that he can’t wake up for shit. He tries to look at you again, but now you’re the one refusing to keep an eye contact. You’re hurt, resentful, regretful. You didn’t want it to be this way. “It meant nothing to you, right?” he lets out a dark, sour laugh. “Jungkook! Of course they did!” you gasp out, like you’re the one hurting right now. No, you can’t be hurting more than he is. “I applied to it so long ago! It was my dream job! It is a perfect opportunity!” “And why didn’t you tell me that?” he bites back “I was your fucking boyfriend, for god’s sake!” You hold your breath, stomach dropping to your knees as you hear his words. Was. I was your boyfriend. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s breaking up with you. You’re breathless, like someone’s just jabbed right in your gut.

Frozen, you can’t answer him. The words are there, bitting at the back of your teeth, but you can’t say them. Can’t say you wanted to tell him everything. Can’t beg him to not leave you, cause you’ve already hurt him enough.

You really wanted to tell him everything. But you know Jungkook. Know he’d do anything he thought would be good to your future. You were scared he would break up with you months ago just so you could go peacefully to another country. But breaking up with you now? After all you’ve been through. No. You thought he would understand. He would accept. He would at least want to be friends. “Before anything, I was your best friend, y’know?” he whispers under his breath. Like he’s listening to your thoughts. Reading your mind, like he always seemed to do. “I just can’t accept the fact that you did all this behind my back. The search, the application. The fucking interview! Literally, what the hell? What would you do if I never found out? You’d fucking leave without saying goodbye too?” It all feels like a sick joke. You can’t formulate one right sentence in your mess of mind. The words just gather up in your throat and refuse to leave your mouth. It sticks there. It feels heavy, almost suffocating. Your belly is funky, and for the first time in the presence of your favorite boy in the world, it is not in a good way. And it’s all your fault. He just looks at you, paralyzed, in a way too. He won’t let the tears pooling up his eyes fall. He won't look at you anymore. He won’t give you a chance to win him back. He won’t give the million cracked pieces of his heart to you again. To anyone, ever again. It feels like an eternity before he’s able to finally say, “Well, if you won’t say it, I will” he shutters, “Goodbye.”

You're trembling from your head to toe. Can't remeber the last time you were this fucked up. Probably never.

Lola just keeps patting your back, kindly waiting till you calm down so you can explain everything that happened. You don't think you can, tho.

The fresh wound is still very open. Aching, burning, hurting.

Jungkook left you.

Damn, he probably hates you.

And he's so very right to do so.

Just last week, both of you were talking about moving in together.

Like everytime he talks about wanting to spend lifetime with you, you know he meant it. And you did too. You wanted to do it all with him.

But you were so frustrated.

So damn frustrated with work, with your future, with your goals.

You always wanted to fulfill your dream to be an veterinary cardiology especialist. It was your ultimate dream, your ultimate goal, but you couldn't to it here, in your city. And you always knew that.

That's why you applied just as you gratuated for a great study program, where you would work with the greatest in the area, you would learn so much and make all kinds of connections.

But there was a problem.

It was in another country. Australia to be exact. Five thousand miles away. Too far from the bubble you’ve forever been. Far from your friends, your family. Far away from Jungkook.

But still, it was just a dream.

Until it wasn't.

They actually reached out to you. They were impressed with your dedication throughout college and had good feedbacks from your professors and your boss at the clinic your currently working on. They saw the passion within you. Said you were eveything this program was about.

And that's where it led you.

You postponed the pain, and it led you to an even greater fall.

Now you are completely devastaded. Wondering if you did the right thing. Can't get your mind off Jungkook's sad, hurt eyes. You know how he felt, you know him just like the back of your hand, but you still were stupid enough to think it would be better to hide it from him till the last minute.

Exactly a week before the trip.

No, you weren’t leaving before telling him.

You were actually going to his house that day so you could get it out of your chest. Tell him everything. Every little detail. Cross your fingers and hope he'd understand and support you. Tell him you loved him and would be willing to try long distance until you could end the program, then you two would decide how you two would end up. Hopefully happy, lovely and together. Keep on planning on how many kids you'd want. If it'd be better to have a sister for Bamie first, instead.

So many options, so many thoughts. But it’s all gone down the drain.

Gone the moment he openned his computer where you forgot your e-mail logged the last time you went to his place.

Gone as soon as he saw the last e-mail from the program giving you a warm welcome.

Gone the minute he realized you've been keeping a huge ass secret from him. A secret that would ruin his trust, would shatter his heart and would make him doubt all the times you've been together.

All the promises

All the sweet touches and warm eyes

All the i love you’s

He just can’t believe in your love anymore.

He doesn’t want your love anymore.

And that’s your worst nightmare.

“Is he coming?” Lola suddenly says, holding tight on your hand like she doesn’t want you to let go.

You look at her, sad eyes averting from the car window for a second to reply but you are not able to. Your throat is filled up with a huge lump again. Actually, you think it never went away since you stepped out of Jungkook’s apartment that day.

But it’s worst today.

So much worst.

The tears bubble in your eyes again as you unlock your phone searching for an answer that never came.

You | 4:20 PM

my flight is at 7.

in case you want to say goodbye.

It’s 6:15 PM.

No reply. No sign.

You breathe out again.

Breathe in.

You can do this.

It’s your dream.

You can do this.

So you arrive at the airport, check-in, and sit with Lola to wait until you can get on that damn plane.

You’re doing this.

Until you catch sight of the boys from distance.

Your heart skips a million beats.

Did he actually come for you?

But just a second later, the same heart that was running a mile away comes to a halt, is squeezed out of life as you realize,

He’s not here.

As the group approaches, you realize he’s the only one who isn’t. Even Taehyung, who did not seem to enjoy the idea of seeing your face right now came to say goodbye.

Now all of them look at you apologetic, as if it’s their fault the one you needed the most is not there for the farewell.

But you know better.

You’re the one to blame.

So you say your goodbyes, hold back your tears and give them the tightest hugs there is, soak up all the good lucks and try to mentalize again. You want to start this new capther with good thoughts. Need to feel the happiness you are supposed to.

But you're numb.

Cause all you think about is him.

And how you wish it didn't end up like this.

YAYYY I'M FINALLY BACK WITH THE DRABBLES!!!!

i actually started writing a happy drabble, the one of when they've met BUT jungkook leaving me in here all alone took out the angst monster in me I HAD TO BE SOUR SOMEWHERE!!!!

anyways, as you know eng is not my first language so i'm sorry if there are any typos! please leave comments if you like the story, i'll accept requests too <3

taglist: @kooliv @serendipity713 @5seos @pointofviewyugyeom @glitterybreadtimemachine @olimpiiaa @kooklovee @coffeewkth @valwnn @tae-hibiscus @skzthinker @lazyyhooman @sharkipoonis @kiylasstuff @kissyfacekoo @spicxbnny @cookysstuff @somehowukook @bd123sworld @ashleylookatme @kookies-n-spice @pamzn

tysm for supporting rainy days, i hope you enjoy :) xx

[mixtape-racha]

lost in reality | han jisung

☆ part 5/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆

words: 1.70k // warnings: college boy!jisung, basketball player!jisung, rivals to more, sunwoo makes an appearance, angst, suggestive

he had you pinned against a locker, a world of emotions you couldn’t understand swirling in his dark eyes. you couldn’t believe after all these years, han jisung was in the same sticky situation as you.

“i can’t escape you anywhere, even in my dreams. what have you fucking done to me, y/n l/n?”

from the moment you met han jisung, you hated him. you weren’t 100% sure why, but if his his arrogant nature and cocky attitude wasn’t enough to finalize your decision, the way he broke your best friend’s heart was. he was a prick, and you weren’t about to sit back and let him be the student tyrant of the college, running around using people to make himself look better and breaking the hearts of every woman he laid eyes on. he needed knocking off his pedestal, and you were happy to be the one to do it.

he, on the other hand, thought you were pretty. he still did, he wasn’t blind, but he thought you seemed nice at first. he truly wanted to get along with you, to reach out and form a friendship, but it backfired on him big time. for some reason, the second he approached you, you had looked at him in disgust. like he was a monster. like he had personally offended you. you shut down his words quicker than he started talking, and told him if he ever spoke to you again, you’d punch him. it confused him, and he quickly assumed you were just a bitch.

but, oh god, to make it worse, the pair of you ended up pitted against each other at every academic opportunity there was. your test scores meant you were the highest student at the college? jisung’s matched yours. jisung wanted to be student president, and spent 6 weeks planning the perfect campaign? well, so did you, and he would certainly have a fight on his hands. even down to auditioning for the winter musical, or planning field trips for your respective societies. it was exhausting, and only fuelled your hatred for each other.

so when you approached him at a party, telling him with nothing but seriousness in your eyes, that you wanted him to fuck you silly, he was slightly surprised. he wasn’t expecting it at all, but he would be a fool if he didn’t accept - so he did. thats how your arrangement began. when you woke in his bed the next morning, his soft cock still inside of you, at first you were horrified. but then you realized just how satisfying it was, and proposed to jisung that you come to each other for stress relief when you needed it.

the rules were simple: neither of you stayed after you fucked, you were both free to see other people, and no one was to know about your arrangement. simple, right?

and it was going fine. finals season meant the pair of you fucking like rabbits. just like basketball season for jisung, and theater show season for you. it worked, and you were satisfied. sure, you were fucking other guys here and there, just like you were sure jisung was fucking other girls, but it was relieving to be fucking a guy who could actually make you cum.

but the problem was his attitude towards you outside of the bedroom. sure, you both agreed that no one was to know, and if you both became best friends overnight people would be suspicious. but somehow his behavior towards you had got… worse. he ignored you in public, even if you were alone. around people - god, he basically treated you like you were shit on the bottom of his shoe. it was confusing, and overwhelming, and slowly you felt yourself distancing yourself from him.

not responding to his advances when he asked you to come over, disregarding his existence when you saw him around campus. surely, no matter what distaste you two held towards each other, he didn’t really see you the way he acted? you’d even overheard him shitalking you to his friends in the asb classroom before your allocated student council meeting. you’d turned straight around that day, opting to go to the nurse’s office and feign sickness than face him after what you’d heard him saying.

“(y/n)? nah, she’s too far up her own ass. i wouldn’t even go there for a quick fuck.”

“have you seen her, man? she acts like she’s better than everyone else. she’s such an entitled bitch, it makes me sick.”

“she’s not even hot. no, for real. i’ve seen dogs better looking than her.”

tears brimmed in your eyes as the nurse dismissed you and allowed you to go back to your dorm for the remainder of the academic day. you made him sick, huh? not pretty enough, too entitled? how was this the same jisung that you had begging to let him cum inside of you just two nights prior? the same jisung that told you you were the prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on? or was that all just words so he could keep getting in your pants? maybe you were an easy lay. maybe thats all you meant to him.

so, you stood your ground. you no longer hooked up with him, didn’t even interact with him. as far as you were concerned, he no longer existed. you didn’t need his dick inside you, and you certainly didn’t need his presence in your life. instead, you fueled your rage into beating him at his own game - studying harder, pushing further, leaving him shaking in the dust of the pace you were hitting grade targets at.

in all honesty, you didn’t even see him properly again until a frat party almost a month later. your friends had dragged you along, claiming that you needed to let loose instead of holding yourself up in your room all the time. you tried to protest as much as possible, until one of them let slip that sunwoo would be there. sunwoo was known as the campus fuck boy - only interested in hookups or one night stands, and someone who infuriated jisung to no end. you didn’t know, or want to know, what their beef was, but you knew he would be the perfect way to get under jisung’s skin. sunwoo tried to flirt with you a lot, anyway, so it should have been a walk in the park.

and at first it was. you found the boy in question very easily, offering him a drink and reciprocating his flirting easily. you danced with him, swaying your hips against him in an almost hypnotizing way. you caught eyes with jisung across the room from where he was standing with a few of his friends - the one present during his previous bitchfest about you - and look away as if you hadn’t even seen him. in all honesty, you didn’t know why you cared so much. you just knew you wouldn’t let him get away with talking shit about you that easily.

sunwoo was quick to drag you off the dance floor and back into the kitchen, offering to make you a drink while you hopped up on the side, your short skirt fluttering as you did. you graciously accepted, needing as much alcohol as you could get considering how packed the frat house was. it was then that jisung walked into the kitchen, just as sunwoo put his hands on your bare thighs and asked if he could kiss you. you didn’t even think before you nodded, pulling him between your legs by his shirt and slotting your lips together messily.

you heard jisung scoff from behind sunwoo, before the tell-tale sloshing of alcohol that told you he was making a drink. almost as soon as the kiss started, sunwoo pulled away, peppering kisses across your neck as he grasped your hips tightly.

“come back to mine, yeah? we should get out of here, do something fun.”

at that jisung scoffed again, louder this time, causing you and sunwoo both to look over at him - sunwoo confused, you pissed off.

“she can’t, actually. we have an asb meeting at 7 tomorrow, and they want us - the student council presidents - to go now and set up the meeting room.”

“really?” sunwoo asked, looking back at you with furrowed brows. “at 11 at night? damn, well maybe next time, yeah, pretty girl?”

with that he stepped back, a final pat on your thighs as he waved to jisung and left the kitchen. you, on the other hand, were furious. you didn’t even hesitate before you hopped off of the counter and dragged jisung out of the back door by his shirt collar. luckily for you, the garden was empty.

“what the actual fuck is wrong with you, han?” you cried, anger filling your words. “what, if you can’t have me, no one else can? you’re sick.”

he seemed confused by your outburst, and maybe a little embarrassed that you were calling him out on his lie to sunwoo. but nonetheless, he persisted.

“any reason you’ve been completely blanking me, huh? or are you that much of a slut that you’ll hop onto any man available.”

he looked so cocky and proud of himself that you had to wipe the expression off of his face any way you could. deep down, he was hoping you’d take the bait and kiss him so you could both fuck your anger out on each other, so he was flabbergasted when your hand made contact with his cheek. you’d slapped him. and you were on the verge of tears. he was even more confused now, not knowing how to approach the situation now.

“fuck you, han jisung. i heard everything you said about me to your little friends in the asb room. if i make you so sick - you know, being so entitled and so far up my own ass - why are you so set on me not fucking anyone else now i’m not talking to you.”

he seemed shocked by your words, but you didn’t let him respond before you continued.

“i’m stepping down from the student council. i’m not doing it if i have to deal with you,” you spat the words out, making him flinch slightly. “get fucked, jisung. i hope you're proud of yourself. finally top student now, huh?”

and with that you stormed away, leaving him alone in the garden to contemplate his actions, and release he may have lost one of the best things he ever had.

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @skz-streamer @hyunjiins @backintomykpopphaseagain @demetrisscarf

[kitthepurplepotato]

Season 2 Chapter 2: Meet my Menace, you old hag!

Summary: Katsuki brings Y/N over to meet his family. He also realizes that being in love comes with a lot of uncomfortable situations… like ending up on his knees, worshipping a scarred body for instance.

…Wait, what?

Warnings: suggestive, swear words, body worship? (no smut though, just a lot of kisses and dirty thoughts + mentions of problems in the lower region 😂)

Season 1 -> Season 2 -> Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It has been two weeks since the “accident” and to be honest, not a lot of things have changed between you and Katsuki; he really wasn’t joking when he said he wants to take it slow.

The only thing different from your usual behavior is the occasional, short cuddling sessions which Katsuki initiates in the most random of times, fleeting touches when no one’s around, hand on the shoulder, pinkies touching slightly on Katsuki’s desk when you come around to look at his screen. They are small and barely there but they mean the world to you; that doesn’t mean you don’t want to do more, to kiss him in the morning and in the afternoon when you both go home to your own places, to kiss him as a thank you when the blonde brings “too much lunch” and forces you to “help him”, and god forbid, follow him to his flat next door and throw him on his bed to show him how much you miss the burning touches he’s given you on the day you two started dating. It’s a lot and it’s burning your insides uncomfortably but you are way too scared to initiate anything; every time you come closer he moves further away, every time you touch him he frowns like a stray dog being caressed for the first time. It’s maddening but you did know what you’re getting into, so you take what you can get and move on. For now.

“Oi, woman.” Katsuki yaps from his desk after an eventful patrol day; he’s been out an about through his whole shift and just came back to finish the paperwork for the day. You missed him a lot today. Also, he calls you “woman” a lot these days and it’s probably his best try on giving you a pet name. It might sound rude for other people, but you know he means well. “How tired are you?” Hm. You really shouldn’t make a cheeky sexual comment, even though you really want to. “I know what you want to say and don’t.”

Busted.

“I’ve been sitting at this fucking desk for eight hours.” You sigh. “My brain is fried but I’m okay, why?”

“Old hag wants me home for dinner.” He mumbles with a slight blush on his cheeks. He’s so cute. When did Dynamight get so cute?!

“Oh! Tell her I said hi!” You smile at the blonde who only scoffs at your answer.

“I want you to come, you fucking idiot. She invited you the last time, didn’t she?” He rolls his eyes scornfully. Your heart squeezes at the implications.

“Does she know…?”

“Fuck no.” Katsuki looks away, his blush intensified. “I want her to find it out for herself. I ain’t gonna do the whole awkward introduction thing. It’s stupid.”

“But I look like shit today!” You freak out, looking down at your attire; you’re wearing an old, oversized hoodie that’s coming apart at the seams, it’s black color faded to a dark grey from all the washing, basic black skinny trousers and your favorite doc martens which are also not in the best condition.

“You look fine. I can give you another hoodie. I also have dry shampoo.” He smirks while staring at your flat hair that clearly needs a wash. It’s your hair washing day, okay?!

“How chivalrous you are.” You roll your eyes but you both know you won’t say no. You just can’t say no to this madman.

It doesn’t mean you are not freaking out internally.

~•💥•~

This was a mistake. Oh god, Katsuki is in pieces.

As Katsuki and Y/N shares an office, being alone with the Menace isn’t a problem, but seeing her sitting on his bed, waiting for him to give her a hoodie to wear… is a little bit much. His allergy is acting up again, his heart wants to burst out of his chest, his breathing is uneven and oh my god how much he wants to straddle the woman and throw her clothes on the floor one by one, until she’s stark naked…

“Did you just slap yourself in the face?”

Oh yes, he did. There was no other way to stop this nonsense.

“Shut up.” Katsuki mumbles with a red face, throwing his favorite hoodie towards her; it’s an old Dynamight merch designed by his mother; it’s black with orange and green lines in the shape of his hero costume. Y/N stares at it for a few seconds then stands up to get out of his old hoodie; her shirt underneath rides up, making the blonde salivate over the triangle of skin showing; she has a huge scar around her hips. It’s really fucking hot.

Katsuki doesn’t know when he came over and why but here he is, in front of the Menace, sliding his fingers over the scar to feel it while Y/N yelps, surprised, but she doesn’t move away.

“Ahh, that.” She sighs. “I have a few of those, you probably didn’t have time to look at them when we fought.” Y/N rides her shirt further up, showing off a few more scars along her belly and her back. There is a massive scar on the other side of her hips in a shape of an explosion; the scar itself is light, a bit more pink than the rest of her body but it takes up quite a lot of space. It must have hurt a lot. “It’s not too sexy, is it.”

Katsuki looks at Y/N incredulously, trying his best to hide his growing bulge from the sight, because fuck, Katsuki didn’t know he has a thing for battle scars, but apparently he does. The only thing stopping him from acting on his instincts is his allergy; his heart is having a really hard time coping with the sight. He feels a little bit light-headed. He doesn’t know why he kneels in front of Y/N to leave a kiss on the brightest scar, the first one he saw when Y/N’s shirt rode up. Y/N yelps but her hand ends up in Katsuki’s hair, tugging and if he haven’t had a problem until now, now he has. Apparently, hair tugging is also his thing. Maybe everything Y/N does is “his thing”. Oh man, he’s a goner.

He continues peppering kisses all over the scars, loving them the way no one ever did; every single scar makes Katsuki respect his significant other even more. He would also - respectfully - like to see the rest of her body so he can continue his shenanigans until every scar is loved and appreciated.

That was cheesy as fuck, what’s wrong with him?!

“I have a massive scar on the middle of my chest and smaller ones all over my torso and my back, you might have been too busy last time to realize.” He mumbles between two kisses. Y/N doesn’t answer just tugs on his hair once and Katsuki can’t help the animalistic grumble that comes out of his mouth, muffled by Y/N skin. Katsuki really wants to explode something right now. Or do other things to keep his mind off exploding things.

Katsuki has never had a problem with keeping it in his pants. Never. It has been quite the opposite, he usually had a hard time to… well… have the thing up. He certainly doesn’t have that problem with Y/N and he has no idea what to do about that right now.

“Katsuki, stop. I’m quite sure you don’t have a spare underwear in my size laying around…”

“What do you mean…?!” It takes him a few moments the understand and when he does, it goes right to his groin. “Fuck’s sake woman, you can’t just say things like that!” Katsuki moves away as quick as he can, hiding his impressive tent by sitting down on the bed with his back to his girlfriend.

Girlfriend. He could literally just continue and it wouldn’t be weird. He has all the rights to do so.

Oh fuck, he really-really wants to do that but he’s quite sure his heart wouldn’t be able to last for long and neither would he…. Wait, he did not just think that. Oh my god, Katsuki is absolutely done right now and they’ve barely done anything. He hates Y/N so much.

“Put your fucking hoodie on and let’s go.” He mumbles as he makes his way towards the bathroom to freshen up. He didn’t want to take a shower but if he doesn’t take an ice cold shower right now, they ain’t gonna make it to his mother’s house. Bakugou Katsuki isn’t a patient man and it’s certainly showing.

~•💥•~

It’s hot in Katsuki’s flat and your skin is burning; you can still feel his lips on your sensitive scars, you can still feel his soft hair underneath your palm and you can’t even think about the way your body shook when he rumbled against your skin. One thing for sure, if you ever make it to the bed, that shit’s gonna be hot. Fuck the awkwardness of the first time with a new person, the careful touches and all that jazz. You can already see how that’s not going to be the case for you two especially if he riles you up a few more times just to leave you hanging afterwards.

You really need to stop thinking about this right now, but how are you supposed to function after being kissed in such a passionate way? How are you supposed to just move on when Katsuki managed to make you feel wanted while peppering kisses over the scars you are so self conscious about? You’ve never thought anyone would want you with a body like that. You were terrified for him to find out how ugly you are under your shirt yet here he was, only a few minutes prior, on his knees, loving you in a way you thought no one ever could. Katsuki might be harsh and abrasive with his words and deeds but deep inside he’s the purest, most understanding man you’ve ever met. You can’t believe how lucky you are to be the one he cares about. Your love for him just doubled, even though you were sure you can’t love this man more than you already do.

Katsuki comes out of the shower, shaking like a leaf and you wonder how cold his shower was for him to be reduced to a trembling mess like that. Maybe you weren’t the only one hot and bothered by those few minutes. You try not to think about it too much for the sake of your sanity. Katsuki looks at you with a new expression on his face; he takes you in, his eyes stopping when he gets to his hoodie and swallows.

“You look nice in my clothes.” He spurts out, his face red as a tomato. “I mean you look nice in that hoodie. Fuck. Let’s go.”

… and he’s gone. Thank fuck for that because you need a moment to take a few deep breaths after this conversation.

~•💥•~

“Fancy riding a bike with me?” Katsuki smirks as he makes his way towards the parking lot; a beautiful black and orange motorbike stands on the side, shiny and freshly washed.

“Marry me.”

Well, you didn’t mean to say that out loud, but damn, that bike is hot. Just like his owner.

“Wow.” That’s all he says, a massive shit eating grin decorating his handsome face.

“Oh, shut up and let’s go!”

“I said nothin’.” He laughs and the happiness in his voice makes your heart swell two sizes; this all feels like a fever dream, clouded by pink, cotton candy clouds where nothing really matters, just Katsuki and you, alone in Candy land, enjoying your time together, basking in the pink sunlight. The feeling only gets stronger when you snake your arms around your boyfriend, pulling him close, the breeze caresses your cheeks as you two ride towards Katsuki’s family home so he can introduce you as his second half. This is probably the best dream you’ve ever had.

He stops at a beautiful, modern family home in the suburban area, it’s fancy and definitely way too big for a small family like theirs.

“Stop staring and move your ass! We have 2 minutes before they start stalking us from the window!” To make sure you understand, Katsuki slaps your bottom once to urge you to move towards the main entrance; you look at him with incredulous eyes and he smirks; you two must look like misbehaving children as you run towards the door, trying your best to make the other trip on the way there. Katsuki ends up succeeding right before the entrance but he grabs you so you don’t fall; you both laugh while enjoying the embrace, swaying left to right like two cheesy teenagers. When Katsuki looks deep into your eyes with a tiny smile on his lips you can’t help yourself; you close the distance between your mouths, leaving a careful kiss on the blonde’s lips. You can feel the tension in his shoulders so you decide to move away awkwardly; apparently this wasn’t the right time for this. Great.

“I’ll eventually get used to that.” He mumbles awkwardly, leaving a tiny kiss in the corner of your lips as a silent “sorry”.

“Sorry, I should be more patient. I just really wanted to kiss you. I always… want to kiss you.”

I love you - you want to say instead, but you don’t. It’s too soon.

“I… “ Katsuki is about to answer but the door opens up and you both jump away from each other.

Well, this is awkward.

~•💥•~

Mitsuki didn’t expect Katsuki to actually bring Y/N over today. It’s not a problem, far from that; she always makes enough food to last for at least 3 days, she’s just… well… surprised.

She might have been the one to raise the explosive boy but this boy have never listened to her once; she could beg him to meet his friends or brush his teeth more gently, Katsuki always did what he wanted so seeing him actually listen for once calls for a celebration.

When she opens the door her eyes are met with two blushing people, one redder than the other; Mitsuki tries her best to not think too much about why the two look the way they do as she is known to make romantic assumptions about everything; she’s a middle aged woman who enjoys a good romantic movie after a hard day at work and it certainly does things to her mind. It also doesn’t help that she’s been obsessed with Katsuki’s secretary since she’s met her the other day; she’s fierce, caring and so-so perfect for her son! She still can’t believe Y/N managed to make Katsuki say sorry for something. What a legend she is.

“Welcome!” Mitsuki grins and lets the two in; her eyes stop at Y/N’s attire; it’s an old hoodie she designed for Katsuki. “Nice hoodie, Y/N! I designed that!” Mitsuki says proudly, and for some reason, that makes Y/N extremely uncomfortable. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, sorry! I’m just anxious, that’s all!”

“Ahh, don’t be! Being close to my son means you are automatically a part of this family! So make yourself at home! The dinner is ready, I’ll tell Masaru to come down!” She yells and leaves the two alone.

Mitsuki has a weird feeling in her stomach; she feels like there is something she’s missing, something obvious. Hm, maybe it’s just her romantic mind missing the spice… but she’s quite sure that hoodie was Katsuki’s and she’s also quite sure she accidentally interrupted something by opening the door on them before they knocked.

Mitsuki takes a deep breath and makes her way towards her husband. She really needs to went to someone before she can’t stop herself from coming out with her little secret notebook of wedding dress designs she’s made for Katsuki’s future wife.

~•💥•~

“What the fuck are you doing?” Katsuki yells at you for apparently no reason in the middle of the family dinner.

“What have I done wrong? Am I using the fork the wrong way?”

“Don’t be sassy with me, princess.” Katsuki argues, and while the nickname wasn’t an actual nickname, it does make your heart stutter and by the look on Mitsuki’s face, she’s feeling the same. “Your fucking plate is EVEN.” He says, like that makes any kind of sense.

“Yes. It’s how it should be.” You mumble between two bites.

“No.” Katsuki retorts and steals a bunch of meat from your plate and gives you more veggies from his. “This is how it should be. You prefer veggies over meat. The hag just told you to make yourself at home, didn’t she? Don’t be an ass and eat what you like.” He grumbles and goes back to his own plate. The parents stare at their own son like they are seeing an alien and honestly, you can understand them.

You’ll never get used to Katsuki’s rough love.

“Okay, I’m sorry. Can I have your broccoli now?” You look straight at his secret stash of broccolis on the side of his plate. Katsuki looks at you with a shocked face.

“You ain’t getting my broccoli, woman. I’m saving those for last.”

“But Katsuki, you know it’s my favorite part!” You moan, just to rile the blonde up, because you are a little shit.

“No. Nope. Never. Fuck off.” Katsuki even goes as far as placing his plate further away from you so you can’t reach it. You do try though.

“You can have all my broccoli.” Mitsuki speaks up, fishing out the green vegetables from her dish. Apparently that only riles Katsuki up more.

“Tch, you know what? There you go. Have mine.”

“I was just teasing!” You whine after you look at your plate; the whole family decided to give you their sharing. Do these people not joke in this household?!

“With all due respect Mr.Bakugou, you gave me way too much broccoli.” You deadpan, and Masaru just smiles.

“I hate broccoli.”

For some weird reason that makes Mitsuki riled up as well. This family is mental.

“What did I tell you about eating your greens, fucker?! Do you want to die on me?! Do you think I’m gonna live in this massive fucking house alone with my 600 cats 50 dogs, smelling like cat piss and broken dreams?!” The woman yells and Masaru tries his best to become a turtle and push his head inside his body, but his plan fails really quickly.

“Okay, honey, let’s not freak out the guest…”

“What guest, she’s fucking family! Katsuki gave her his broccoli! Don’t you fucking dare call her a fucking guest!” Mama Bakugou yells, her aggressive breathing makes Masaru’s hair move, like it’s blown by the wind. For your surprise, Katsuki only smiles at the whole shenanigan and continues eating his dish.

Now you understand why is Katsuki such a tough cookie to crack if this is what he sees from his parents every day.

“Let me guess, this is the Bakugou version of PDA?” You smirk at the blonde. He rolls his eyes with a tiny smile on his pretty little face.

“Kinda.” He sighs then starts yelling.

“Get a room, fuckers!”

… and this is how the rest of the dinner goes. You are quite sure you lost most of your hearing during this evening.

~•💥•~

The only time the room is silent is when the family decides to watch a movie before bed. There isn’t a single noise in the room as the movie starts rolling; everyone keeps their eyes peeled on the TV, snuggled up into fluffy blankets even though the movie was chosen by mama Bakugou and is definitely not the type of movie the two boys would watch on a normal day. The story is about a girl who’s never been in love before and as always, there is the perfect guy who randomly appears in her life and all the other typical bullshit. It’s not your first choice for a movie, but Katsuki is sharing a blanket with you, so you have no reason to complain.

Around the middle of the movie there’s a really heart-wrenching scene when the main character realizes her feelings and asks for help.

“Lilly, how do you know you are in love with someone?” The main character asks.

“They are the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last when you go to sleep.” Lilly says with a smile on her face. You look at Katsuki and for your surprise he’s looking right back you; his face looks surprised. Somehow, the whole room disappears and it feels like it’s just you two who did not stop moving while the whole world came to a halt.

“Just thinking about their smile can make the worst day a better one and they are the first person you think about when something good or bad happens.” Lilly continues and you are quite sure the main character is having a dramatic revelation on the screen but you can’t stop staring at the blonde man next to you.

“When they are in the same room, you can’t stop looking; their eyes, their lips, just everything about them calls your name.” Katsuki swallows hard at that and puts his arms around your shoulder so you can snuggle closer; and fuck, you didn’t even realize how much you wanted to do that until your heart started to go frantic from his touch.

“Kats…” You mumble into his neck and you look up just to be met with the most beautiful sight the world has ever seen; Katsuki looks at you with pure love and fondness and there is a tiny smile on his lips as he closes the distance between you two and gives you the softest kiss you’ve ever had. You have no idea what’s going on in the movie anymore and you certainly don’t care; you caress the man’s cheeks fondly as you continue to pepper small kisses on his lips.

A sudden noise ruins your moment though; something falls to the floor and it sounds like a mug so you look to your other side… and that’s when you realize you weren’t alone in the room.

Of course you weren’t, you started this movie together with Katsuki’s family!! Oh fuck.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Woah, Katsuki really went for it! :D btw that part wasn’t even in my plans it just happened while I was writing the chapter…

- For those who got confused in the last chapter about Steven: Steven is Katsuki’s pigeon who decided to live on his balcony in season 1! I forgot to mention that for those who started the series with S2, sorry!

- The broccoli thing is a reference to the first few chapters of season one! The story started with Katsuki sneaking broccoli pieces into Kirishima’s secret stash of unhealthy snacks. Y/N was the only one eating them. 😂

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! Tell me your thoughts and feel free to ask questions! 💥

Taglist: @sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat

[laundrybiscuits]

(wait for the season to come back to me tag)

“We still on for dinner this Thursday, or are you gonna reschedule again? Because I swear to god, Steve, I will break into your apartment and set up camp if I have to. It’s been years. Centuries.”

“It’s been a month, Henderson.”

“I barely remember who you are anymore. What’s your name again? How do I know you? We’re actually very happy with our current cable provider, thanks.”

God, that kid is such an asshole. Steve loves the shit out of him.

“Listen, I’ll see you on Thursday and explain everything, okay? Actually, uh—I’m kinda calling to give you a heads-up. Got some big news, so you should, like…brace yourself.”

Dustin’s quiet for a long, worrying moment.

“Steve. You have got to know that that’s the least helpful thing you could possibly say. You’re not even gonna give me a hint, man?”

“Wish I could. It’s not a bad thing, okay? Just big. Like…Upside Down big.”

“Okay, for my own peace of mind, I’m going to pretend you’re completely overreacting about the fact that you, like, got a dog or something.”

“I’m not—”

“Peace of mind, Steve! See you Thursday at my place! Don’t cancel or I’ll kill you!”

Steve’s left laughing into the dial tone. Honestly, he’d mostly called so Dustin couldn’t complain afterwards about not getting an advance warning. There’s just no way to hint at the whole Eddie thing without Eddie being present and accounted for; it would be the worst kind of cruel.

Steve can’t imagine what he’d have done to anyone who tried to tell him Eddie was alive without any kind of proof. It wouldn’t have been good.

“So we’re telling Henderson on Thursday?” Eddie jostles Steve’s shoulder. Steve thinks he’s been doing that a lot more lately.

“Seems like,” says Steve.

———

They take the train to Dustin’s place in Wilmette as soon as it gets dark out. Eddie’s bundled up in a nondescript hoodie and one of Steve’s denim jackets, looking like every other Chicagoan braced against the cool evening air.

They haven’t been going out all that much. Robin keeps asking if Eddie wants to do any tourist stuff, maybe the museums or something, but he always shrugs off the offers. Steve would’ve maybe expected him to want to get out and explore, now that he’s not cooped up anymore, but Eddie mostly seems to want to sleep, read, and watch TV.

Robin’s been on a campaign to educate Eddie about the ten years of pop culture he missed. “It’s essential for rehabilitation,” she says. Steve is pretty sure it’s just an excuse to make them rewatch all of Robin’s favorite movies, because some of the stuff she brings home was definitely already out in 1986.

Eddie draws the line at letting Robin show him music, though: “Nope, nuh-uh, no freaking way. I wouldn’t have listened to that shimmery synth shit if I’d been alive and free every single day of the last decade, and I’m not gonna listen to it now.”

Steve does have a few metal cassettes, but he feels weird about bringing them out. It feels like he’s crossing a line, somehow—admitting to something. So instead, they’d all traipsed over to the Tower Records a few blocks over, and let Eddie roam around sampling things.

To Steve’s surprise, Eddie hadn’t actually picked up that many metal albums. He'd grabbed the new Accept and some Alice in Chains, sure, but he also picked up Nirvana and Soundgarden. He had gotten into a conversation with a very helpful clerk that ended with the clerk scribbling a number on a business card and handing it over with a grin and a promise to make Eddie try some local act called Wilco next time.

Obviously Steve’s happy that Eddie’s making friends and charming people. He’s legitimately fucking thrilled that other people are finally seeing how great Eddie is, because Eddie deserves that. Eddie deserves the world, and if he wants to date some random clerk, he should get to.

It’s just that if Eddie Munson comes back from the dead to start dating some random clerk, Steve is going to have to go live at the bottom of Lake Michigan. That’s all.

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch From Mercury Season 2 Episode 5 Review

- Happy Birthday is forever doomed, and that greenhouse does nothing but destroy relationships. God, I am suffer

- Sadly, Miorine fell for Prospera’s provocation and decided to team up with her, but on the condition that she leaves Suletta alone. But that’s perfectly fine for Prospera, Suletta doesn’t matter to her. She’s just a replacement daughter, and now that Aerial has hit Permet 7 or 8, she doesn’t need her.

- Shaddiq has the worlds most punchable face, but he is playing the game smart. Peil was an obvious wildcard, so he’s decided to partner with them in order to get them out of the way. And it looks like he already got his father out of the way too. RIP Sarius, you were the only good parent.

- Jeturk House is a literal found family and I can’t stop crying. They all love each other so much. It seems Petra and Lauda are dating and Felsi just learned about it. Also, the fact that Lauda loved his brother and wanted to support him from day one is sweet. God I hope nothing bad happens to any of them.

- The callbacks and dark reflections in this episode to Episodes 1 and 3 have slayed me. The end of the episode was an exact copy of the end of episode 1, but this time, Miorine is saying goodbye instead of hello, all underneath a darkened sky compared to the bright dawn we originally saw. The entire dueling room and then elevator-hallway scene was an exact copy of Episode 3, so much so that they reused Secelia’s animation. Since the three main characters this episode were Suletta, Miorine, and Guel, it makes sense to bring back references to the episodes that started their character development in the first place

- also somebody gotta glue Secelia’s ass to that couch cause every time she gets up some bad shit happens

- Guel and Suletta’s scene at the greenhouse made me feel like I was walking on air. Guel has grown so much and has decided to be honest with his feelings, and you can tell just how happy those words made Suletta. But at the end of the day, Suletta loves Miorine, and Guel supports her. He isn’t that selfish jerk we saw in episode 1 anymore. He wants what’s best for others to, not just himself. But also the GueSule shipper in me was crying a bit

- But that beautiful scene in the greenhouse leads to Miorine strengthening her resolve to give Suletta a good life, even if it means hurting her. She’s willing to work with Guel, someone she absolutely hated, because she knows he loves her just as much as she does, and all they want is for Suletta to be happy. The fact that Miorine is willing to sacrifice herself and enter a marriage she doesn’t want is heartbreaking, but there’s no one else she can trust.

- The scene where Guel says there’s no world without Gundams and weapons hurts a whole lot. Miorine and Suletta, despite all they’ve gone through, still haven’t seen the true harshness of the world. Guel, who’s experienced even just a fraction of what horrible things are taking place, can’t see any world where peace is absolute.

- Guel suffering from PTSD makes so much sense. As much as we like to meme that suffering builds character, what it ultimately did was fuck up Guel’s life forever. He’ll always carry the trauma of killing his father, but as we saw in this episode, the impassioned cries of his family is what snaps him out of it. Really, between Chuchu and Guel, I think Felsi has the magic voice ready to heal trauma. Maybe she should hang out with Suletta after this ep

- All right, this is going to be a long fucking section about El5n, because I genuinely have so many thoughts rotating in my head about this failson. First, the greenhouse scene. Seeing the way he so violently assaults Suletta out of desperation is terrifying. He’s being pushed to the absolute brink. He even brought a taser just to knock Suletta out. It’s a large change compared to his usual “just smile and wave” and I think it’s wholly because of last episode. El5n had his mind violated by Eri, the one place that not even Peil could assault and change. And that combined with Belmeria’s whining set off a bomb inside him. He realized in that moment that he will never be safe as long as he plays by Peil’s books. Any more attempts of hijacking the Aerial would continue to hurt the one thing he has control of, his mind, and if he sticks with Peil any longer, he’s going to die

- But what hit me the hardest was his anger at Suletta’s cries for Elan, specifically the line “The man you’re thinking of isn’t here.” It’s a short line but packed with so many meanings. First of which, the simple one being that El5n finally lets the cat out of the bag, stating that he and El4n are two different people. But looking at it deeper, we can see more to this statement. The second meaning could be the intense hatred he possibly feels towards the original Elan. That the man Suletta thinks he is has been hiding behind body doubles and living his life without even sparing a single thought towards her. The third meaning is that El5n is pissed that El4n is dead, and that Suletta’s cries for him just make his grieving so much worse. Fourth, and finally, is the fact that El5n doesn’t want to be a replacement for Elan, he wants to be his only person. All Suletta can see is Elan, not the kid underneath the mask, and that hurts him. The fact that his very identity and status as a person has been torn away is sick, but no one but him knows.

- But before any more of his true self can pour out, Guel comes in to protect Suletta, just twisting the knife further into El5n. He’s had no one to stand up for and protect him, he’s alone from everyone, separated by a mask. And the fact that the one who comes to Suletta’s rescue is a man who’s lived in luxury and hasn’t struggled a day in his life (at least on El5n’s eyes) is even more painful. The final shot was the “What are you afraid of?” line Guel says to him. Cause for the first time, someone has finally seen the pain and hurt he’s going through, and it happens to be some spoiled rich kid. But really, what is El5n afraid of? Is it a physical death or a spiritual death? Is he willing to wear the mask of Elan as long as he isn’t incinerated, or does he not want to lose his true self?

- Ultimately this retrospection El5n goes through is hidden to us, but we see the outcome. In which he’s chilling in a room with Norea and Nika for no reason. Truly a king. The dub said this line, but El5n feels like Norea is a kindred spirit. Someone who can understand what he’s going through and the amount of rage bottled up inside him at the unfairness of his situation. God, I hope these two end up together, or at least as partners. They need to fix each other so bad

- But where does El5n go from here? He can’t hang out with Peil anymore, so will he cooperate with Shaddiq? But Shaddiq is now working with Peil so that would cause some issues. Will he go full scorched earth at the presidential elections and air everyone’s dirty laundry? I think that would be an amazingly funny moment. Will he and Norea bond over their tragic pasts? I want to dig into his backstory so fucking much, but I know that doing so would only hurt me further

- Also small detail but El5n saying to Nika that her friends missed her was pretty sweet. He understands what it’s like to feel alone so he reassures Nika that she isn’t.

- When the happy birthday song came in and Suletta pulled out the big fucking gun, I got scared for Guel. We’ve already seen that thing eviscerate a mobile suit’s legs, so it’d probably have killed Guel if Mio didn’t step in. But still, who the fuck decided to put that song in there?! This isn’t funny anymore Okouchi

- God, Suletta’s love for Miorine hurts so badly. She wants to be properly married and do everything a married couple can, but in the end, it’s taken from her. Suletta’s codependency on her mother, Aerial, and Miorine is not healthy, and she needs to experience the loss of these things in order to grow as a person. But the real question is will she regress or progress? She still has Earth House, who are filled with nothing but the sweetest children, but she could also be taken advantage of by Shaddiq or simply dig herself into a hole. In the end, it’s all Suletta’s choice. She has to find strength within herself

- Miorine hesitated when hearing about Suletta’s dreams for the future. She wants just what Suletta wants, a happy life with the one she loves. But in Miorine’s mind, as long as Suletta is tied to the Aerial, her mother, and her, then Suletta will forever be stuck and taken advantage of. Miorine is willing to play the bad guy, no matter how much it hurts her, because she loves Suletta. She’s become the person she hated so much, her father, and you can feel the pain it’s causing her.

- Guel and Miorine feeling extremely guilty for what they did just means that Jeturk finally took another L. Though I hope Guel will be able to help Miorine realize it’s okay for her to love Suletta

- Ever Eri feels bad for what happened, but it also seems like she’s moved onto a higher plane, possibly within Prospera’s mask. I guess if she really is gone, that means the Aerial is back to killing people status. Or maybe it’ll find a new leech?

Guel claiming a W but still getting an L is perfectly on brand. The lesbians are going through a divorce arc. And I can’t believe I spent that much talking about El5n when he only showed up for like 3 minutes. All of our characters are suffering but Shaddiq, the bastard

[mass-convergence]

I’ll be honest with you - in season 1 of WOT:

I didn’t exactly love what I’m calling the Main Character Squad (Rand, Egwene, Perrin, Mat, Nynaeve). Like don’t get me wrong - I didn’t hate them. I just thought they were … idk … boring? And this may warrant a rewatch, I’ll admit I was not in the best place emotionally while watching the season. But I just felt like they were kind of flat with maybe the exception being Mat and Nynaeve who I was kinda like 👀 what’s going on. Mat had that whole corrupted by darkness thing going on with him and Nynaeve was just a fucking badass and seemed highly motivated to protect her friends from the get go. But idk Rand felt like he was just kinda …… there? Same with Egwene and Perrin.

(This is ending up turning into an essay so I’m gonna put shit below a cut)

They were cool characters and I obviously was rooting for them to get reunited and stuff but I was like “eh???” Until maybe the very end when things started falling in place and the plot became a lot more sticky (as my friend describes plots that suddenly have a lot of competing motivations all coming together)

So I think my main issue was with their writing rather then the characters themselves. I’m coming at this as a complete outsider to WoT - never read the books and even if I did, I believe an adaptation must be able to stand on its own. And what I think happened was that season 1 like *had* to catch everyone up on the lore of the world, why Moiraine was so hellbent on finding the Dragon, what the hell the Aes Sedai were, etc. etc.

And it may have somewhat put characterization on the backburner until the end when they were like “we caught you up to speed now here’s the plot”. I guess they felt passive, like the plot was just happening to them instead of them driving the plot. Like we got hints of stuff - I was confused about what was going on with Perrin, then really intrigued towards the end when the wolves attacked the White Cloaks camp. And then of course the whole Eye of the World thing and Ishamael being released and him cutting Moiraine off from the One Power.

But idk, most of that season just fell flat to me.

The second season however, whooooo boy did I get fucking invested in those crazy kids. I was like “why can’t Nynaeve deliberately channel? [Insert Spiderverse “can’t do it on command” meme here]”, “oh fuck how is Egwene going to get out of this and also fuck you Renna”, “Rand please don’t go crazy”, “Perrin is like spiritually connected to wolves??? I need to know more about how that is a thing”, “Mat I swear to god you better not be evil because I’m like rooting for you”.

And of course I was really invested in the supporting characters - like Moiraine’s journey, Liandrin’s betrayal, Lanfear’s … everything (god I love her).

And oh god was it almost empowering to see their arcs play out.

- Rand struggling with the fact that he is indeed the Dragon Reborn and that male channelers tend to go batshit and kill everyone they love.

- Perrin becoming more familiar with his wolf-powers (I forgot what they were called or if they even had a name I’m sorry) … and being caught between his humanity and his wolf side. RIP Hopper, I’m glad you were avenged almost immediately.

- Egwene first off like: struggling with the fact that Nynaeve was kind of distant (because Nynaeve was obviously dealing with her own issues) but sticking with her friend. And then getting fucking captured and enslaved and like thrown into one of the most disempowering positions one can get into… and she fucking still held her own and never gave in. God I think her arc is like my favorite one this season. Fuck you Renna I’m glad you fucking got what you deserved.

- Mat dealing with the aftermath of the dagger and just having this darkness inside of him. He had been pushed down and kicked all his life, people viewed him as a loser, and he had that attitude towards himself as well. I felt like a connection to him because yeah, that boy is just a touch depressed, and as someone who’s dealt with their own mental health issues and ADHD absolutely making me feel like I’m constantly failing everyone including myself …….. good lord did his arc make me feel some feelings. Like he took that darkness - namely the dagger - and he used it to fight his way out. And then he’s a fucking hero of the horn. That is unironically super fucking inspiring to me.

- Nynaeve not being able to channel on command, being almost afraid of the power she can wield (I think that’s the angle they’re going for at least - though it also does seem to be very attached to her emotions). Out of all the main character squad: I liked her the most in the first season. She was very much motivated to protect her friends. Like I do see her kind of as the mother figure of the group (and not in a derisive way - like she will absolutely fuck a person up if they hurt her friends as we saw in season 2 with that sul’dam), the “heart” in the five man band. Like *almost* like Katara in a way and I really loved Katara so there you go.

- honorable mention to Moiraine because she thought that she had to handle this shit on her own. She had to figure out what Ishamael and the Dark One were planning while protecting Rand and also dealing with the aftershocks of her being cut off from the One Power. Something that Verin very much analogized to being assaulted or raped. And Moiraine just kept trucking, carrying the burden of what she felt like her own responsibilities like she carried those fucking buckets up the hill. The season was her realizing she could rely on others and she didn’t have to be as closed off as she was being. And oh my god once she got the One Power back she (a woman who was already plenty fucking badass during this entire season) like went to fucking S-tier levels of badass. God I fucking love her.

Basically: I’m saying that I loved season 2 very very much and I’m now rooting for these crazy kids to fuck shit up and save the world.

Also I love every single woman in this show who’s not Renna or the Seanchan because fuck those slavery loving assholes.

[mysteriousboo]

(SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW)

im genuinely surprised when i found out that people in the yr fandom give simon so much shit and for what? trying to protect himself from getting hurt when wilhelm denied that it was him in the video after he PROMISED simon that he wouldn’t do that? or trying to move on from wilhelm? when simon got into dealing booze or stealing drugs from his dads, he suffered because of his actions! his friends(rosh and ayub) stopped talking to him, he couldn’t pay for the personal tuition and his mom and sara found out about it and were obviously very mad at him! sara got into manor house, made friends and mostly had a good time in the majority of the second season while she was basically betraying simon’s trust by not telling him who leaked the video and using that fact to get into manor house plus sleeping with the person who recorded and released the video! personally, i don’t think her character can be redeemed in s3! but i see people trying to defend her more than they will with simon and that’s very sad!

or the fact that even wilhelm didn’t have to suffer at the aftermath of the video cause he denied that it was him in the video! i mean, we all know that the internet sucks! imagine, the things simon had to read! and people want him to forgive wilhelm just cause he said he loves him?? i mean how can he trust him? does he not have self-respect? my poor boy prolly thought that he would only be hurt more cause if wilhelm can deny his existence now, why won’t he do it in the future? or how serious is wilhelm’s love for him if he can deny their relationship so easily after he PROMISED that he would do no such thing! or the fact that wilhelm’s doesn’t even apologize to him properly, clearly not realizing how much he hurt simon! i mean the guy keeps asking simon to be his secret? how can simon agree to that? notice how in the first half s2 it’s not that simon denies that he loves wilhelm, it’s more like how can i trust you? and he was right wasn’t he? wilhelm knew that august released the video but proceeds to once again make the choice for simon and keep him in the dark! i’m not saying that he didn’t redeem himself in the latter half of the season! but it definetely felt like only simon felt the repercussions of his actions! both Sara and Wille just got away! and august the guy who should have gone to jail was being rewarded by being the backup or getting the girl! simon definetely sufffered more than august and the fact that some people in the fandom still are annoyed by him is just really disappointing! atleast have a reasonable explanation for finding simon annoying or not a fun character! I mean if you can understand Sara’s action then simon deserves the same! i am not trying to say that simon isn’t at fault, im just saying that why are you harsher towards his character not towards sara, wille, or august!

also, can we not forget that marcus literally gaslights simon into not breaking up with him! like my guy can’t catch a break! i hope that simon gets to be happy in s3! even though he has to deal with his sister basically lying to him the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!!!! my god, i just want both my boys to be happy!

[aanoia]

Believe

John B Routledge x reader

Summary; your ex treasure hunting partner is your future romantic partners dad

Warnings; SPOILERS SEASON 3! swearing, mention of gun, suggestion of rape (nothing explicit, not even the word), burns, Rafe Cameron

Words; 1741

Pt. 2?

Requests are welcome and encouraged! I have an anon submission box and you can ask in comments!

“I can trust you, right?” Kiara asked as we trailed behind Rafe. I was another prisoner being held captive in Singhs estate, and the only way I wasn’t going to ruin their escape plan was if they brought me with them. Which got me here, trailing behind an angry rich man to his boat to get the fuck off this island.

I looked at her, “No. Probably not. But with what I’m gathering, you need me.”

She nodded, “I don’t trust Rafe. You don’t know what he’s capable of. What he’s done. He’s a bad person, Y/n.”

“And what do you wanna do about it?”

“We take his boat, get my friends and leave.”

I snorted, “And how do we do that?”

“Just follow my lead.”

I sighed as we neared the boat.

“Make sure your shoes are off.” Rafe called back as he got on the boat and began untying it. “Okay, we should have enough juice to get us to Saint Lucia, no problem.” I got in the boat, my shoes in hand as Kiara hesitated. “Hey, get in the boat.” Rafe told her. I looked out to the water as seagulls squawked ahead. “Kie!”

“You’re not gonna pull anything if I get in?” She asked.

“No, I’m not gonna pull anything, okay? I’m trying to do you a solid here. You really wanna be back with Singh, or do you wanna be somewhere safe? Can you please help me with the bowline?” She got on the boat and began heading to the front. “Thank you.”

She knelt down next to the rope, “Hey, uh, I can’t get it!” She called Rafe.

“Y/n, you try!” He yelled and I looked at Kiara. She shook her head.

“I can’t either! It’s too tight!” I yelled back. “We need some help!”

“Goddamn, do I have to do everything?” He asked as he came down. She motioned me to go up the wheel and I slowly did so as he went over the rail. Once he threw the rope onto the dock she hoisted herself forward and pushed Rafe as I ran up to the wheel and turned the boat on.

“Kie! Hey! Hey, Kie, Y/n, where are you going?” He yelled as the boat began moving.

“I’ve gotta help my friends!” She yelled and I looked at her with wide eyes.

“Kie,” I said.

“Y/n, please, I can’t leave them.”

I sighed, “Fine.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing! Hey! Shit! I’ll find you Kie! And you Y/n! I’ll find you! You guys are gonna regret this shit!” Rafe yelled, but we were already gone.

As I steered away she pulled out the phone she took from Rafe and texted someone before looking up at me.

“If you push me off of this boat, Kie, I swear to God.” I warned and she just laughed.

“I won’t. You just don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.” I laughed with her.

We sat on the boat which was docked a ways away from where we left Rafe.

“Where are they?” I asked, getting impatient.

“They’ll be here. We just have to wait.” kie said as something caught her attention and she went to the other side of the boat.

I went up to the wheel so we could leave as soon as possible. I watched as Kie hugged the blonde boy who was there, holding a gun. Four more people came from behind crates and the group hugged. I watched them hug and laugh in relief as my heart ached. I would never have people who were that excited to see me. Who loved me like that. Kie was lucky.

I cleared my throat and the group broke apart and looked at me, “I hate to ruin this sweet reunion but we need to go.” I said as the rhythmic sound of bells sounded.

“Who are you?” A boy with dark skin asked.

“Y/n, nice to meet you.” I introduced myself and I looked at the brunette boy who looked at the church on the hill. He seemed entranced by it. He was kinda cute.

I sat at the steering wheel of the boat, watching the roads to be sure none of Singhs men came. Two people, which I had learned were John B and Sarah, were up here too. The tension was thick.

“Come on guys, we gotta go!” Cleo said from below.

“She’s right. We gotta hurry.” Sarah said as John B’s attention was caught by the bells again.

“Okay, you definitely heard that, right?” John B asked.

“The bells?” I asked.

“Yeah, I do now.” Sarah said.

“That’s exactly what my dad would do to call me home. Sarah, that… that pattern, those bells. The ding, ding, ding, ding.” he said in the same rhythm as the bells. “Sarah, that was him calling me home.”

“I know, yeah. It’s really weird. But it’s not him.” She said.

“Okay, but how do you know that?”

“You know why.” I looked back and forth between the two as they talked.

“No, no, no, no. No, listen.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you get beaten enough that you aren’t able to see the miracle right in front of you. I mean, that’s exactly how he used to call me home. Maybe it is him. Maybe the universe is trying to give me a gift, and-”

“Okay.”

“What?”

“Okay, I get it. You wanna go to the tower and go look? Go look.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. But you aren’t going alone. I’m coming.”

John B shook his head, “No, no I’m not asking you to do that.”

“I’ll go. I know this island better than anyone. We’ll be back soon.” I said as I stood up. Sarah looked at me distasteful but didn’t oppose as John B smiled. He began running to get off the boat and I followed with a laugh.

“Hey, John B, Y/n. Where are you two going?” Pope asked.

“We’ll be right back!” He said as he got off the boat and helped me down before running again.

“Hey- what?”

“Be right back!” I repeated.

The setting sun shined on us as we got closer to the church.

“John B, we have to hurry.” I said, slightly out of breath as John B held his hand out. I took it and he helped me over a gate.

“I know we do.”

Once we got to the rock staircase that led to the church John B hesitated and sat down, hiding behind the wall.

I knelt down, “What’s going on? Why are you stopping?” I asked as he looked at his hands. His breathing began to pick up. “Hey, hey, John B, are you okay?”

“I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve never been this scared and I can’t breathe… I can’t breathe.” He said as he gasped for air.

“Sh, John B, hey. Hey, it's okay. John B, it’s okay. You’re dad is up in that church calling you home, it will be okay. Come on.” I said as he nodded and took deep breaths, whispering to himself prayers, begging for it to be his dad.

“Please let it be him.” he whispered with his eyes closed.

“Come on, John B.” I helped him up and we entered the church. “I’m gonna stay down here. Find your dad, John B.” he nodded and walked up the stairs. A few moments later I could hear footsteps coming down the stairs. “Oh fuck no.” I whispered as I saw John, my old partner before he let Singh take me and left me behind.

“Dad?” John B said quietly from behind him. John turned around. “Is it really you?’

“What took you so long, Bird? I’ve been ringing for hours.” His dad said before they hugged tight.

“I thought you were dead.” John B whispered with tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for the Houdini act. It’s a long story, kid. But for another time.”

John B pulled away, “What?”

“We gotta vanish.” John explained and turned around but he froze once he saw me.

I glared at him, “Don’t even.” I said as I stood up and made my way to the exit.

“Pops, talk to me.” John B tried as I stuck my head out the door and looked both ways before I ran out once I saw the coast was clear.

“Come on. Keep your head down.” John told John B.

I carefully looked around the corner.

“Shit.” I said under my breath and turned back to the Johns. “Ain’t going that way.”

“Um, the pogues. The marina. They’ve got a boat. Come on. Follow me.” John B said and they began running. I followed after.

“Good boy. It’s good to see you, kid.”

“Yeah, you too, pop. Come on, hurry up.”

Once we got far enough away from Singhs men we began to walk.

“I think we’re good. That was a close one.” John said as he paused to take a breath. He looked up at me. “Y/n. It’s good to see you’re unharmed.”

Anger filled my body as John B spoke, “Wait, you two know each-”

“Unharmed?” I said, partly in disbelief. “You know Singh. You know what he does to people, what he would gladly do to me! Do you really think I stand here unharmed?”

“Guys-” John B tried.

John rolled his eyes, “Well, you’re able to stand there, and you’re able to whine at me. So yeah, compared to some we’ve seen, I’d say you are unharmed.”

I pulled up my shirt to right below my breast to display the large, angry burn on my side, “Does this fucking look unharmed to you John!? Also, what do you think desperate men do to young girls like me?” John didn’t say anything, just looked at the ground. I took a step closer to him and pointed my finger at him, tears in my eyes as flashes of the nights I spent came to mind. “You’re lucky I haven’t killed you after just abandoning me there.”

“Y/n?” A voice asked from behind me and I turned around as a tear fell from my eye. John B took a step forward and brought me into his arms. I held onto him tight as I cried. “I’m here for you.” He whispered into my hair.

And for once in my life, I believed those words. I believe John B.

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki season two ep 5:

-WOOOO HERE WE GO

-running through the recap

-Im actually scared for this episode srsly

-oooo the almost silent intro

-ALIVE???

-he is angelic fr

-where is everyone???

-did they go back to their timelines??

-Im loving these continued camera shots

-pie room??

-TIME SLIPPING

-oh shit

-:0 double Loki

-hello?

-time slipping is just an excuse for Loki to flip his hair like the hoe he is /pos

-time loop???

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHY IS EVERYTHING COMING APART

-SHIT

-oop there’s the theme

-prison??

-CASEY?????

-WHAT THE HELL

-oh hes escapin

-where are they i wonder

-a boat prison??

-no not again dude Loki can’t handle this

-ALCATRAZ????

-his name ain’t Frank lmfao

-oh it’s the BOAT PLACE

-dude why are we back in the tva

-:0 SHIT NEW YORK 2012

-Aw b15 is such a great doctor I love her

-MOBIUS WHAT ARE YIU DOING

-living his dream

-who tf is don

-also his son??? No thank you

-LOKI GO SEE YOUR MAN

-this is so unserious

-LOKI IS SO CUTE ABOUT MOBIUS

-Mobius is adorable

-SINGLE DAD???

-FUCK YEA

-ooo 1994

-OB!!!!

-hes so silly

-awww he just wants to sell his books

-hes a writer <333

-in his bunker???

-ITS JUST LIKE HIS LAB

-dude ob will believe anything that happens to him

-the sons of who??

-ob is so adorable with his little “hey”

-dammit

-none of that made sense OB

-cannot control the time slipping

-oooo true

-LOKI = TEMPAD

-to save his friends

-oh yea shit kang is coming aint he

-control it Loki!!!!

-nope

-you look like you’re trying to take a shit

-there is no controlling time

-OB WE DONT SHOCK PEOPLE

-OR WHATEVER THAT WAS

-stop psychoanalizing

-go to the pie room

-GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER

-oh that’s actually kind of smart

-ob is adorable and I love him and his tism

-oh fuck there he goes

-TO MOBIUS AGAIN!!

-he sucks at taking the trash out

-yea Kevin

-these kids are literally adorable

-don’t burn down the house pls

-“HELLO”

-these guys are so awkward

-just kiss srsly

-WAIT THEY ARE SO CUTE

-HES SUCH A SALESMAN

-wife long gone????

-cause of the gay

-is he flirting??

-are jet skis flirting????

-mobius really thinks lokis crazy

-OB HI

-none of this makes sense

-awww the way he grabbed Mobius

-dude theyre so gay

-they need to just kiss already fr

-yea your kids will be fine mobius I swear

-hes just a suburb dad

-this is a little heartbreaking but also gay tbh

-IKR IT IS A COOL NAME

-B15!!!! Come with!!!!

-CASEY FUCK YEA

-ESCAPE

-where’s sylvie?

-mobius looks shook

-and Casey trusts no one the little thief

-mobius/don is he flirting with Casey/Frank

-I love sylvie but she always gets angry and fucks shit up

-please leave her out of this one

-WAIT WHAT

-HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOU

-wait till it back

-fuck get that time slipping under control

-sylvie with her lesbian fit and her mullet

-ok but Loki loves mobius and doesn’t wanna loose him

-uncaring queen

-I mean she wants to live

-damnnnnn

-WAIT CALL HIM OUT

-WHAT DOES HE WANT

-FALSE

-HE WANTS MOBIUS SRSLY

-oh come on Marvel be more specific

-of course he doesn’t wanna be alone

-don’t make this romantic again pls

-NO WE ARENT

-his story is with mobius tho!!!

-Casey is such a weird ass hardened criminal

-mobius stop trying to sell shit to people

-Loki you are so babygirl

-NO WHAT ABOUT THE GANG

-I don’t understand anything anymore

-is sylvie flirting with record shop guy??????

-THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

-HOLY SHIT

-literally what is happening rn

-whos this guy in the back

-oh he disappeared????

-why’s shit disappearing????

-NOOOO

-THE TIMELINES DECAYING

-OH GOD NO!!!

-NOT HOT RECORD SHOP GUY

-and she’s gone

-so is the timeline

-Loki is so sad and lonely

-MOBIUS KISS HIM PLS

-HE NEEDS TLC

-NOT TRUE

-a timeline just died for some reason

-Loki was just waiting for this opportunity

-CASEY DAMMIT SRSLY

-OH FUCK NO

-WAIT EVERYONE COME BACK

-NO MOBIUS PLEASE

-OH GOD NOT PLEASE NOT KNTO THE DARK

-THIS VERY BAD DREAM

-oh shit Loki use them timeslipping powers

-GO BACK IN TIME

-YOU CAN DO THIS BBG

-ITS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS

-oh come on dont give me that fuckin cliffhanger

[fanfictilltheend]

You should see me in a crown - Chapter 3 (Y/N Grimes/Negan Smith)

AO3 LINK

Chapter 1 // Chapter 4

Masterlist

A/n: Hi, this is my second story ever and I wrote it like 5 years ago but was too scared to post it lol so if you could give any feedback that would be much appreciated! I have more chapters to this so if you want ‘em ya gotta let me know! Y/N is like 20 in this and Negan is whatever age he is in season 7 so if that’s too much of an age gap please turn back!

Warnings: 18+ smut dn interact if not 18+ afab!you, daddy kink, kissing, age difference, abusive!Rick Grimes, protective Negan,

Summary: Negan and Y/N ride to The Sanctuary.

After grabbing a shirt and a few other things to take with me, Negan invites me into the passenger’s seat of the truck and he gets behind the wheel as the other men sit in the back, separated from us. This is truly the fucking craziest thing I’ve ever done — including trying to kill Negan the other day. But I don’t care. I’m sick of putting everyone else first. Negan pushes a CD into the player on the dashboard and AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” starts playing. 

“You’re so cliché,” I tell him with a smirk. 

I haven’t thought about music in so long...

“ Excuse me?” Negan snorts, clearly amused, putting down Lucille next to him securely and hitting the gas. “Me? Cliché? I’m one-hundred-percent genuine, original, motherfucking badass! And don’t you fucking forget it, kid.”

“Yeah, leather jackets and heavy metal. Really groundbreaking,” I smirk as the wind starts blowing through the flyaway hairs around my face that didn’t quite make it into my ponytail. 

“You are such a little shit,” he growls fondly, jostling my shoulder playfully and my heart flutters, as he keeps one hand on the wheel. I wanna touch him too. It’s like we can’t keep our hands off each other. “Like you’re the soul of originality anyway, huh? Mrs. Daddy-issues, falling for the big bad boy in the leather fucking jacket.”

“Got me there, bad boy,” I shrug, grinning. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek and rub my fingers through his hair, messing it up a little. It’s almost insane how comfortable I feel around him now. His stubble scratches against my lips. It was kind of an impulsive move, but he seems to have liked it. His ears go a little red. I count making him flush anywhere as a personal victory. He looks at me like I’m too sweet as I pull away, a little embarrassed, and he rolls his eyes.

“And I’ll have you know,” he tells me, poking me in the ribs for emphasis, smiling with his eyes, getting back to business. “That my silhouette is fucking iconic, okay? That’s how you know you’re fucking original, right? If you can tell who someone is just from behind? Like with movie characters and shit! You see me from the back, holding my baby Lucille, and there ain’t nobody for goddamn miles around who doesn’t know who the fuck I am and what I can do. But most importantly,” he says, his voice getting deeper, his big hand suddenly squeezing down around my thigh and I gasp in surprise. “Is that there is nobody out there as goddamn, motherfucking bad as me .”

The way he says that makes me giggle, but also tremble a little. It doesn’t help when he starts to rub up and down the inside of my leg. I inhale, trying to calm myself down. It feels so good. 

“Yeah, okay...” I nod, trying to keep my cool, but it’s really hard and I think he knows it as I try not to squirm. “Except I don’t even havta see Lucille,” I snicker, thinking about it, trying not to moan as his big hand moves farther up my thigh. God, I am desperate! “I can just tell by how far back you lean. How do you even do that shit anyway? Like you’re not exactly young and spry anymore, old man. And that’s some true acrobat shit,” I am full-out laughing now until Negan starts to rub over my cunt through my pants. Then I get quiet real fast and he smiles big in a kinda dark way I think is so hot. Fuck, I’m really wet now and my breathing starts to get a lot heavier. I’m such a sucker. The hairs on my neck stand up on end. And then his hand moves over just the right place and I let out a little moan involuntarily. I cover my mouth in surprise.

He chuckles like he owns me, his voice low, in complete amusement. And I’m totally fucked because he so does.

“Something funny, sweetheart?” he asks innocently, his hand disappearing under my jeans, rough fingers trailing over my underwear. And I am squirming for him to do more. God, it feels good how he’s moving against me, and my pussy clenches in excitement as I move against him, but it’s not quite enough! My heart beats so fast. I try not to rut into his big hand greedily. “Always so fucking wet for me, huh, honey?” he asks softly in my ear. I fucking tremble . “Christ, baby girl,” he smirks, seeing how worked up I’m getting. I look over and see the large bulge in his jeans and want to point out that he seems pretty affected too, but the pleasure — it’s too much.

“Please, Daddy,” I whine, surprising myself, my cheeks flush pink as I try to arch my hips into his hand. “ Please.”

God, I’m so fucking needy!

But instead of laughing, Negan just groans quietly in response, staring at me hungrily and for a second I’m sure he’s gonna pull over and fuck me right there on the side of the road, hard, and my heart races. But then he takes his hand away, with a huge amount of self-restraint, sighing, and I groan in frustration. He smiles wide at the control he has over me in the situation. 

“Nah. I don’t think so,” He shrugs, smirking infuriatingly. “You get to cum when I fucking say you can. You ought to know that by now, darlin’. And we’ve got somewhere to be. But God, you are such a fucking good little slutty tease for me,” he grins, slapping my thigh. “And fuck if I don’t I love it!” He reaches up to his parted lips and sucks on his glistening fingers that were rubbing against me a second ago. My eyes go wide, heat curling low in my belly. Ugh, I just wanna ride him! Even his fucking fingers. Whatever he’ll fucking give me honestly.

“Still fucking feel like making fun of me though?” he asks like a threat, his voice getting very low as he puts his hand back on my thigh, his words breaking me away from my thoughts. 

I shake my head demurely.

“N-no, Daddy,” I say even though I don’t really want to. 

“Good girl,” he nods, looking very satisfied. And I bask in the praise. But then he takes his hand away! Again!

And then I can’t help firing off my big mouth. And besides, maybe if I piss him off enough he’ll put it back since being good clearly didn’t get me any further...

“Hey, you know when you lean back like that, if I stood right behind you, do you think I could see your vertebrae disconnect?” I ask, trying not to laugh. “I mean really how do you do it?”

Negan rolls his eyes and slugs my arm half-heartedly, rubbing it before he takes his hand away, his tongue on his lips. But he’s smiling interestedly now, like he’s impressed with my persistence. 

“Hardy goddamn har. You are so fucking funny, kid, I’m rolling all over the goddamn floor. And here I was thinking you’d learnt your fucking lesson,” his voice lowers threateningly and I shiver. “Evidently not . But the lean? That’s a trade secret, baby.” His eyes light back up as he tells me. He licks his lips. “But you know,” he says. “Now that I think about it, I bet you can also tell it’s me from behind from how much time you spend staring at my ass .”

My face goes bright red. 

“Shut up!” I stammer, punching him back in the shoulder, hard. “Oh my god!” Am I really that obvious!?

Negan snickers.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I know it’s a nice ass and all —hell, my wives fucking kiss it all the time —but, Jesus, talk about thirsty… ” 

He’s snickering even more now at the mortified expression on my face. He’s so hot it’s hard to be pissed at how smug he is though.

“ Someone needs to get laid…” he snorts like he can read my thoughts. 

Well, whose fault is that!?

My face is bright pink, but I’m smiling too. I can’t help it. I still can’t believe this is happening. He isn’t wrong...

“Maybe you should do something about that,” I challenge, putting my hand on his warm denim-clad thigh. He’s not the only one who can play at this game. I mean, he’s still hard. I slide my hand closer to the large bulge and he sighs deeply in a way I’d like to hear again. “Maybe you need to, uh,” I channel every romance novel I’ve ever read. “Discipline me…” I suggest with a casual shrug. His eyes look amused, excited, and wanting. “You know, like teach me a lesson?” I try to clarify.

He laughs.

“Oh, baby, you know I—“

He’s about to say something sassy and sexy and promising I’m sure —I can tell by his face and the way he’s looking at me and the way my pussy throbs—but then his eyes wander and he notices my shoulder as we go over a bump in the road. 

“Hey, are you fucking dumb? Put your fucking seat belt on!” he barks suddenly.

“What!?” I stammer incredulously, snorting, literally so shocked that of all the things he could have said to interrupt me touching him, this is what he comes up with.

“You heard me!” he repeats like a pissed-off parent. Is he actually serious? “You are not fucking dying like that. Not on my watch. You’re way too smart and badass for that shit and you’ve got a whole fucking life ahead of you and I have big fucking plans for your cute little sorry ass.”

“What kinda plans?” I ask, getting on all fours and sticking my head out the window to egg him on. Is he trying to tease me? If he wants me to tease him, I will. The wind blows my hair everywhere as I look out onto the forest road, giving him a nice view of my ass. 

“I’m serious, Y/N!” Negan snaps, grabbing my ass that’s kinda sticking out towards him in the breeze and I blush. But he doesn’t even take the bait and try to play with me! He just yanks me back in and my ass slams back down into the seat. Boy, he’s strong. I sorta thought he’d spank me or something more fun. “You could get your motherfucking arms and head chopped off!” He shouts.

“Okay, fine, Dad !” I relent, shaking my head, sitting back down in a huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Jesus, you did say my ass was cute and all…” I mumble a little sheepishly at the pissed-off look on his face in an attempt to explain myself. His face softens. “I was just tryna tease you...” But he was actually worried about me, the big sap! I hope those plans involve a lot of sex. But, like, I don’t think a single person has told me to put on a seatbelt since the apocalypse started. I guess it’s kinda nice that he cares. Jesus, who is this guy? My dad? The fucking safety patrol? A sex god? My personal temptation from Hell? And to think I would have killed him only a few fucking days ago! I reach for the buckle above my shoulder, but when I pull it down, it gets stuck halfway. I pull it again and the same thing happens.

“Jesus, kid, let me fucking do it why don’t you,” he growls, rolling his eyes, and reaches over and slams the metal down into the buckle, but I can see his eyes soften ever so slightly at the expression on my face. 

 “It’s broken!” I pout but cut myself off when I see he’s easily fixed the problem. 

“Broken, my ass. There. Honestly, what the fuck would you do without me, baby?” he smirks, adjusting the strap a little so I’m more comfortable. He looks like he’s enjoying feeling important and authoritative over me. Probably part of his goddamn savior complex he so perfectly laid out for me the other day...

“Alright, alright, I’m good,” I insist, my face a little red from embarrassment at not being able to fucking buckle my own self. “‘S not my fault you’re so fucking strong!” But I like the attention of him doting on me too much and I think he knows it. “Hey, Negan, though?” I ask suddenly, pulling on his shoulder, thinking of our impending arrival. “Hey, are your wives gonna be pissed at me?”

“Pissed? For not wearing a seatbelt? Fuck if I know!” he shrugs, rolling his hazel brown eyes, reaching up to adjust a mirror. “I try not to drive ‘em around too much honestly. Unless we end up fucking in the back. Or if they give me a handy while I’m driving,” he turns to me and winks. “Hell, if they blow me while we’re on the road, they sure as shit aren’t wearing theirs,” he grins devilishly.

“No. Fucking hell. Gross!” I roll my eyes. He smirks. “I mean about me being at the Sanctuary. Being with you. They won’t be pissed off about that?”

“Oh, I highly fucking doubt it,” he tells me with another shrug, rolling his eyes again. “They don’t much care who I fuck as long as they get to keep living the lavish-ass lifestyles they do.” He looks out at the road and not at me like maybe that pisses him off a little. But the look is gone as soon as it came. “Why? You know I’m the boss around there, baby,” he smirks, turning back to me, cocky and confident as ever. “You don’t have shit to worry about on that end.”

“Oh...uh, no reason,” I say quickly, my cheeks turning pink again. “It’s just, —I dunno —if I was your wife, I guess I wouldn’t wanna share you is all,” I shrug.

Sound more pathetic, I dare you!! I think to myself as soon as the words have left my mouth. I shouldn’t have said that out loud, but when I look up he’s actually smiling at me. And it’s not a smirk. It’s a real smile. He looks genuinely pleased. 

“Aw, you are such a fucking sweetheart, aren’t you?” he tells me, as he reaches out and pinches my cheek. I yelp and smack his hand away. And then he’s laughing, but I think he actually looks a little touched. “You are a fucking sassy little shit with one helluva fire in your belly, but sweet and soft as shit nonetheless,” he says fondly, looking me over. “It’s a fucking wonder you’ve survived this long...” he says over exaggeratedly, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling big all the same. “Not too many people like that last in this shitshow…” he says after a moment a little more seriously, looking at me like he really sees me. 

“Guess you’re lucky you found me,” I grin.

“Guess I fucking am,” he agrees as he ruffles my hair and leans in and plants a playful kiss on my neck that turns into a bite and then a small, purple hickey as the wind from outside blows softly through my hair.

“So what the fuck kinda music do you like to listen to anyways ?” He muses. “And if you say that Justin Bieber shit I’ll throw you outta the goddamn car right here and now!”

a/n: FOR THE RECORD I don't hate Justin Bieber I just think that since the apocalypse happened in like 2010 he was a big thing then and that's the kind of thing Negan would say since he was a high school teacher he would have known his popularity, but all the beliebers can feel free to excoriate me in the comments if they so please. PLEASE leave comments or kudos if you want more I have a few more chapters. Do you like how things are progressing? Do you hate it? Let me know!!

Chapter 4

Masterlist

[queenimmadolla]

I’m re-reading all the penny-verse stories that Arygyle is in because I’m so fucking sad that he’s not gonna be in it. I wish so bad that we got a chance to see Eddie and Argyle together. I feel like they wouldn’t really vibe at first but then when the weed starts being passed around suddenly they are best friends who can’t stop giggling.

Also like I feel like stranger things is like 50% dark storylines and 50% comedy. And it seems like the next season is gonna be super dark and sad and it would be such a breath of fresh air to have Argyle who is just like a normal fucking dude who just makes to make pizza, chill and smoke weed and suddenly he’s listening to these teenagers tell story’s about monsters and battles etc.

I feel like there would be 5 minutes in which they aren’t buddy buddy, and it’s the first five mins they meet. It’s awkward. I could see Jonathan introducing them (although now I wanna write how they became their little trio in the pennyverse out) and then being like

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

And then nothing for four minutes and fifty nine seconds until Argyle just voices whatever thought in his head, asks Eddie is his hair is a wig, and Eddie is immediately amused, gets that shit eating grin he had in the ‘86 baby scene.

The start to a beautiful friendship.

But yeah, it was definitely nice to see Jonathan have a friend who made his pretty dark life a little lighter and I’m sad they took that away. He really got to be just some dumb teenage boy with him. He didn’t get that until Argyle was introduced. And god, Argyle was so fucking GOOD. He wasn’t just a stoner, yeah he smoked weed all the time but this fucker cared so much about everyone. And he wasn’t some idiot either, man was making moves. He’s the most realistic portrayal of a teenager who just happens to be a pothead that I’ve ever scene. And his reactions were always so appropriate for the shit they were going through, like some of the people who got roped into the Upside Down shit just immediately kind of rolled with it, and Argyle did too but he was also like, “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE” and I appreciated that.

[wefallforever]

Season 4 and 5 Once Upon a Time Rewatch Reflections

I’m combining the two seasons because my season 4 post kept getting flagged as mature and then I lost my phone which had that write up on it 😔😔

-the dynamic between Emma and Regina gives me heart eyes! They are so fiercely protective over each other it makes me swoon. Honestly they should have kept Hook dead so that swan queen could finally happen. When Henry refers to them as his moms or when they call Henry THEIR son I die!

-thank god Belle finally accepted that Rumple ain’t shit. I know his accent is hot but damn girl stand up!

-It’s good that they gave Ursula a happy ending. I think it’s sus that they killed Merlin off in such a brutal way 🙃 anti-Blackness is too much man.

-Zelena is a dastardly ass woman 😭 getting pregnant so your opps can’t hurt you? Fucking diabolical. She’s in a race with Rumple for worst villain on the show.

-I’m glad they brought Mulan back but her story line still makes me sad :( Asian queer women deserve better than this smh.

-I was shocked that Ruby and Dorothy got an on screen kiss!!!!!! I guess gay shit is ok as long as it’s not the main characters? 😒😒😒 THIS IS MAKING ME SO MAD WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALLLLLL!

-Dark One Emma is incredibly hot ok?! I love how sultry her voice is.

-I don’t care how big a tantrum my kid would throw, there is ZERO chance I would be taking them to the underworld on a mission to save my dead lover. You can stay your ass at home with Granny and Merida! Henry is sooo willful I guess it runs in the family!

-When Cruella called baby Neal chisel chin junior I laughed for several minutes lol.

On a final note, I’m really intrigued by the idea of destiny and how it plays out in the show. I believe there is a path set out for us in life but it can take many routes, twists and turns. We as individuals navigate these routes based on our actions, environment, personal goals and ambition. We can choose to lean into our selfish “evil villain” urges in times of conflict, then change our direction by being compassionate, then turn back to confrontational behavior all in one day! We can choose to let our pain and suffering fester into “monstrous” behaviour, or we can confront it and transform it into our own personal “magic.” We are truly the authors of our fate. Here’s hoping that despite everything the writers put Regina through she has a happy ending!

Also I decided to wait until I finish the entire series to make the astrology post because I want to see everyone’s complete character development before I make my final judgement. I’m almost halfway through season 6 so it’ll be here soon ☺️.

[acourtofsnakes]

Dating Eddie Munson Headcanons

Summary: If you couldn't tell by my posts, I'm obsessed with his man so, here you go ♥︎

Warnings: 18+ - Season 4 spoilers, drugs/getting high, allusions to sex but nothing explicit, one mention of a pocketknife (not in a violent way), a few mentions of being down/low mood, a lil bit of violence

Words: 4.5k+

A/N: Also, a hugely wonderous thank you to @ghostwiththemostbitch for our many, many conversations regarding this man and what he would be like to date😍ily🥰

Permanent Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal @mypedrom @undiscovered-misunderstood @ghostwiththemostbitch @kaylee-krystal @queenofthefaceless @gallowsjoker @kirsteng42 @rosiefridayrogersunday @salome-c @amywritesthings @meganlpie @sgt-morgan

Masterlist

-He’d be really shy when you first get together. Like super shy.

-Partly because he still couldn’t believe you actually wanted to be with him. Eddie Munson. The ‘freak’ of Hawkins.

-But when he realises you’ve been head over heels in love with him since middle school, he has to wonder if he’s had too many drugs and they’ve affected his brain.

-Because you’re gorgeous. You’re stunning. You’re smart and funny and… you love him?

-It doesn’t matter that his friends have been teasing him about it for years (or that yours have been doing the same.) He’s only dreamt of you in his arms since he first laid eyes on you, so being able to feel that… Shit, he wouldn’t be able to take it in.

-I mean, you feel the exact same way about him. To which Steve loves to tease you.

-“So, when are you and Munson actually going to start dating? Or are you just going to keep pining at each other in your game meetings?”

-“Shut up, Steve. We do not pine over each other. I don’t pine.”

-“Uh, okay, yes you do. You pine for that boy every chance you get, we’re not blind. You pine enough to make a whole forest or something. Surprised trees aren’t popping up behind you wherever you go.”

-He always makes you laugh. Always, no matter what mood you’re in. If you’re feeling upset, like the world is crushing in on you and you can’t breathe, all it takes is that soft, “You okay?” of his and he sees straight through.

-Then he makes it his mission to see you smile, even just once. Because someone who shines so brightly should not be suffocated by darkness.

-And he really will do anything.

-He’ll tell you shitty jokes, he’ll reveal stories of his own embarrassing encounters. He’ll dance around whatever space he’s in, with his perfect Eddie flair until he has you laughing at his antics.

-And fuck, that laugh. Your laugh could live in his head and his heart forever. It makes his breathing go funny and his tummy full of butterflies because you have no idea how much he wants to hear that for the rest of his life.

-He still feels like that now.

-When he wakes up to see you beside him, tangled in his covers with your head against his arm and your fingers lightly hooked through his necklace, he reminds himself that maybe he’s finally made it. Maybe this year is finally his year.

-Then he will just watch you, stroking up and down your arm with the lightest touch, watching you dream peacefully in his arms. Because his arms are your safe space, your home.

-Oh my god, he will not stop touching you. He needs to have contact at all times. Partly to assure himself you really are there, that you really are his and he finally has something good…

-But also because he knows how much comfort it brings you. Be it that ringed hand resting on your thigh, or maybe round your shoulders with his fingers rubbing the back of your head.

Or maybe a couple fingers linked with yours on the table, fiddling with your own rings if you have them on.

-He always pulls you into his lap during DND, and always has a hand on your thigh. Whenever he gets excited, or nervous for the others, his hand would tighten a little and his rings would just lightly dig into your skin.

-He would constantly be doodling little patterns on your skin with his nails or even a pen, maybe he doesn’t realise he’s doing it as he talks to the Hellfire Club.

You just hold your arm out to him and he’s there, tracing little absent patterns that soothe both him and you.

-Eddie really likes drawing actually - I mean, he did design the Hellfire and Corroded Coffin logo, right? - and his work and any piece of paper would be covered in doodles. And he’s actually pretty good at it too.

-Sometimes he draws something for you and slips it into your book or pocket, so you can find it later on in the day and be reminded of how much he absolutely loves you.

-Wearing each other’s jewellery.

-He steals your necklaces, or you wear one of his rings on your thumb whilst he wears one on his little finger.

-It’s your thing, carrying a piece of you wherever you go.

-Wayne adores you.

-If Eddie is elsewhere, maybe you’re waiting for him and Wayne is on his way out, he’ll make sure to stop long enough to tell you how much you’ve changed Eddie’s life.

-How he smiles more, laughs more and Wayne can feel it’s real.

-“You’re giving him what he deserves, and that boy would be lost without you. He adores the ground you walk on… So, thank you.”

-Eddie loves to praise you. Be it general sweet praise for something good you did at school or Hellfire… Or praising you. He won’t shut up praising you, actually. It spills from his lips like honey.

-Ooh, but if you praise him? Wow, he’s a mess. He loses his mind instantly and he’s like butter in your touch.

-You wouldn’t think he blushes, but he does. You make him blush quite a bit, actually. Usually when you gush about how gorgeous he is, how clever with his campaigns, how good at guitar he is, with that starry look in your eyes. Or when you catch him unaware and press a little kiss to his nose.

-When you’re both settling after… moments, he gets this soft brush of colour along his cheekbones and nose, which is so damn adorable. Just think about it.

-Laying outside in the ground when it’s thunder storming. Watching the sky turn into a battlefield with the cold rain hammering down on you and it feels so grounding and refreshing, hands intertwined and your heads next to each other.

-Then playing in the rain, dancing around in it, Eddie kicking up the water and soaking you which naturally ensures a play fight where you’re both laughing so hard you end up with hiccups the whole walk home.

-Naps. All the time. All. The. Time. You just curl up in each other’s arms and sleep, because it doesn’t come easy all the time at night so even if it’s brilliant sunshine, you’ll just go and nap outside.

-Teases you all the time. Those intrusive thoughts come out to play, and he’s moving things when you put them down, so you lose them, blowing candles out when you light them, hiding your snacks if you set it down before you sit.

-“Hey, where did that go?”

-“Where did what go, sweetheart?”

-“I literally just put that down right there. Right there! Now it’s gone!”

-“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, are you sure you brought it in?” whilst he’s trying not to laugh.

-Sometimes he’ll just tackle you to the floor – as long as the surface is soft. Or bite you. Or randomly lick your hand.

-Tugging his hair to get his attention.

-Late at night, he’s sitting there by the light of a few candles or the lamp by his bed, hunched over as he so carefully carves your initials into his guitar pick (the one he wears around his neck) with the tip of his pocketknife. He’d have to keep puffing his fringe out of his eyes, his tongue sticking out slightly in concentration. Then the smile that lights his face when he holds it up for inspection, putting it back round his neck and the utter joy on his face when he sees it in the mirror – kissing his fingertips and then patting over the pick.

-Touching it whenever he needs courage, to be brave and not run away. Because you make him feel like a hero.

-Manspreading. He makes it look so good. He sits with his forearms on his thighs, hands dangling in the space in between with all those rings glittering.

-Even better if his head is tilted back against the couch and he has a cigarette dangling between his lips, eyeing you with those hungry, adoring doe eyes as you move about in front of him.

-Letting you wear his Dio jacket. Yep. His beloved baby. “Gotta see my baby in my baby, haven’t I? It looks good on you.” “Really damn good, actually.”

-Any of his clothes really. He gets that warm, puffy chest pride at seeing you in his clothes, knowing that you belong to each other, and besides, you look damn good in them.

-Eddie likes to have a piece of you with him at all times. Be that a hair scrunchy on his wrist, a ring on his little finger, hell, he’ll even take one of your shoelaces and thread it through his own trainers if it means having you with him.

-You end up picking up on his mannerism especially his speech patterns. It’s not till you drop something at the video store, and you mutter. A frustrated, “Jesus H. Christ.” That you realise how much you’re both interlinked.

-He lets you touch his guitar.

-He teaches you how to play too, sitting behind you, legs either side of yours and his chest pressed into your back.

-His arms would be around yours, guiding your fingers to move along the strings, a cigarette between his lips. “Just like this… There you go. You got it, sweetheart.”

-“One day I’m gonna marry you.”

-Late night trips to the diner for milkshakes and fries. Especially if you’d been getting high.

-You hold hands across the table, your hand flat and his laying over yours, nails lightly scratching over the inside of your wrist and palm.

-Ankles linked together under the table.

-Hearing his rings gently clinking against each other, against a glass, or when he absently clicks them along the table and it becomes a comforting noise to you.

-If you love to cook, that makes him so very happy. He’s always hungry, always looking for snacks so if you like to cook? God, he is there. Right there.

-Helping in the kitchen, stealing whatever he can, watching you intently before helping himself.

-He devours every single thing you make, adoring all of it and then looking at you for more with those sweet puppy eyes.

-Especially if you bake something sweet for him. He loves cookies and cake, and… Pretty much whatever you make.

-Takes care of you whenever you feel down. He notices straight away, from the way the light doesn’t shine in your eyes and the way your shoulders turn in.

-He wraps his arms around you, shielding you from your surroundings, one hand on the back of his head and he murmurs into your ear, “I’m here for you, okay? Whatever it is, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

-When you get home, he dresses you in a band t-shirt, knowing how much his clothes bring you comfort. Then he’ll lay in bed, cradling you, stroking up and down your arm slowly.

-Affirmations. Constantly, but especially when you’re down. “I am so proud of you, you know that? So fucking proud. And I will believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself.”

-He might play your favourite song on his guitar until you fall asleep, then he’ll keep an eye on you and guard your dreams.

-Constantly needs to move or fidget with something, but if you put your hand through his or have any kind of contact with him, it soothes him and he plays with your fingers or hair instead.

-That energy of his is constant too, especially if you’re making out or something heavier. Everything in him will want to fall into the moment, to let himself get carried away and worship you but he wants to be slow. He wants to savour it, and you. He wants to show how much you mean to him and enjoy the moment - so there’s lots of hands fisted in bedsheets, or the sofa or wall or wherever you two might have fetched up on your haste to get each other’s clothes off.

-He likes curling his fingers in your hair to gently tilt your head so he can kiss and bite your neck,

-Eddie loves to mark you – with your permission of course. Running his thumb over the marks the morning after.

-He goes weak when you mark him

-Equally he loves when you play with his hair.

-Oh my god, he melts.

-Always asks if you can put it up in a messy bun for him on hot days because he can’t get it to stay up.

-Just take a minute to imagine him with a messy bun. His bangs still falling round his face, the low messy bun showing off the line of his neck and shoulders.

-He will literally fall asleep if you play with his hair. He doesn’t even care if you put little braids in it, he will just leave the trailer and go out with them like that. He doesn’t care. You did that to him and he absolutely adores the braided crown you gave him.

-Not to mention it looks good because why wouldn’t it.

-This man is the best at aftercare, wow okay.

-No matter if the sex was rough and passionate, or soft and burning, he always makes sure you’re okay. Gets you a glass of water, carefully cleans you both up, a snack if you were high.

-“I know you’re sleepy, sweetheart, but you’re gonna get cold. Here, wear my t-shirt, okay?”

-Speaking of which, he fucking loves when you wear his clothes.

-You share his Hellfire T-shirt. Which works out just fine because if he puts it in after you, it smells like your shampoo and perfume and that boy is a mess all day.

-You basically just share his wardrobe let’s be real here.

-Back to this again - He loves touching you in anyway, shape or form.

-Grabby hands. If you’re nowhere near him, or even just a few feet away and he wants to cuddle, he’s sticking his arms out and making grabby hands till you come to his side

-He always leans down to kiss you, pushing his hips gently into yours to duck down and press kisses from the top of your head down to your lips.

-Kisses behind your ear a lot then puffs all his breath out against your ear, so it tickles and makes you squeal.

-He bursts into that soft giggly laughter as you push him away, ensuing a play fight in which he throws you on the ground (gently, his body is breaking the fall) and then you proceed to have a tickle fight.

-He puffs little smoke rings over your head when you’re not paying attention to him. This boy is like a puppy, he needs attention all the time and why wouldn’t you give it to him, huh?

-The first time you get high together, he makes sure you’re okay. Makes sure you’re not going too far, that you’re not having an adverse reaction, always double checking.

-Then when he knows you’re fine, he lets go too, and you lay there together just talking complete shit, laughing at each other’s face, using his hair as a moustache.

-Making out when you’re high, letting it build into fumbling each other’s clothes off because the drugs make your skin so much more sensitive.

-I mean, Eddie is sensitive anyway, so add some drugs in the mix and this man is moaning like nothing else. God.

-Even when you’re not high, he will turn to butter and be in his knees (literally) when you’re taking the lead.

-He loves it when you take the lead.

-Giving him hickeys, biting him, running your hands all over his body - he’d be a whimpering mess, head thrown back, jaw clenched, eyes shut and muttering your name over and over with a few choice curses thrown in.

-Eddie is very vocal. Mm. Let that sink in.

-But when he turns his attention to you - let’s be real, he’s always got his hands and lips on you - oh lord, you’re in for it.

-He would make you fly higher than whatever you were smoking, giving you a night like nothing else.

-The Hellfire Club room is one of the places you both feel most at peace. Sometimes, if the day is too loud, if either of you need a breather, you’ll come here after school, with the candles lit and the low lighting and just… breathe. He’ll sit on his throne, with you curled up in his lap, fingers in each other’s hair and you’ll just hold each other. Settling your minds in a space that’s comfortable to you both.

-And if one of you falls asleep? That’s okay. Like hell would you move until you’re both awake.

-He’s the least mean and scary person you know, but if someone hurts you or goes to hurt you, he’s there, grabbing the person by the collar and throwing them out of the way. Either up against a wall or literally just as far away from you as he can get.

-“You wanna try that again?”

-Come to think of it, he’d also throw you against a wall from time to time. More gently of course, but with his ringed hand on your neck or jaw, with enough force just to gently puff a little air from your chest before he crowds in all close, pressing his body into yours and kissing you long and deep till your knees went weak.

-If he’s nearby, or you’re in the same room at school - maybe the lunch hall and you’re sitting with other friends, he always has an eye on you.

-One because hi, this boy will not stop looking at you. He’s in love. Honestly, he loves you no matter what you look like. You are always beautiful to him.

-Two; he wants to make sure you’re okay. He knows you can handle yourself and he adores that about you, but it doesn’t mean he won’t stop looking at you to keep an eye out.

-Loves reading to you. Rainy nights, curled up in bed with the rain hammering on the windows. The powers out so you just have candles lightning up the space. You’re laying between his legs with your head on his chest, and he’s reading Lord of The Rings, doing all the voices and making it feel so real.

-But he also adores when you read to him.  He lays with his head on your lap and his eyes closed, a soft smile on his lips as he toys with his necklace or his rings.

You’d have one hand in his hair, gently coming through it and twisting the curls around your fingers and a few chapters in he’d be fast asleep.

-But that’s okay, because then you get to trace all the lines on his face, trailing your fingertips across his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, over those lips… following the features that you cherish so much.

-Always makes sure to treat you the way he thinks you deserve. Even down to holding doors open, helping you places, walking on the side of the road. Whenever he served you food, even if it’s just a snack, he always does it with a flourish to make you laugh.

-Mix tapes. Mix tapes everywhere. You two just share one giant collection of tapes eventually but you’re constantly making tapes for each other.

-You get to hear his songs before anyone else. You’re there through the stages of him playing little riffs on his guitar, messily jotting down notes with his legs half spread and his hair falling round his face, guitar pick held between his teeth.

-He learns your favourite songs so he can play them to you, all the time.

-You are always front and centre at his shows. Always. Singing every single word, cheering the loudest, climbing on stage to hug him at the end.

-You will literally fight anyone who has something bad to say about him. You don’t care who it is. But you lose your head the most when it’s Jason and his band of idiots.

-You once nearly got into a fist fight with him after school.

-You and Eddie were with Steve and the gang in the video store, just talking and in walked Jason and his little buddies.

-They took one look at Eddie and started with their usual shit, calling him a freak, asking if he should be allowed in a public place.

-You were immediately leaping off of the counter where you were sat, storming over to him and you punched him. Yep. Just straight up punched the Golden Boy in the face.

-He was surprised enough that he stumbled backwards, a hand lifting to his jaw before his eyes flashed and he started shouting at you.

-Not that you cared, you could more than hold your own, matching him insult for insult whilst defending Eddie.

-It took the combined forces of Eddie, Steve and Robin to pull you away before you started tearing up the store.

-Eddie played it off but inside, he was in bits. The insults bounced off his skin most of the time, falling like rain in the ocean. He was used to it. Sure, it hurt but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before.

-But watching you go defend him like that? He might have to cry about it later.

-This moment though, you were more important.

-His hands came up to cup your jaw, concerned brown eyes, glittering with pride looking down into yours, “You okay?”

-When you assured him you were fine, he took you to the back room with the first aid kit, lifting you up on the counter to gently clean your knuckles and check they were okay. 

“Eddie, I’m fine. Really. I just wished you’d let me go for him again. He shouldn’t say things like that, he’s an-“

-Then he’d kiss you softly, a sweet press of his lips to yours to soothe you, calm you. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s fine, I hear it all the time…” And when that made you frown more, he brushed his lips over your hand, “But oh my god, I wish I could have filmed that! His face!!! You dealt him a crit hit, baby, he nearly went down like a rock.”

-That then made you laugh, lips twitching up as you watched him, “He did, didn’t he. Not so impressive for Hawkins’ golden boy, right?”

-Then he’d grin even more, interlacing your fingers and moving to stand between your legs, “I better watch out for that right hook of yours, you don’t need anyone to defend your honour, sweetheart.”

-“Hmm, I don’t know about that… I think you’d look pretty good in armour, defending me.” Your legs would be wrapped round his waist at this point, giving him a goofy, gooey smile.

-He raised an eyebrow at you, tapping your chin with the crook of his finger, “You think I could get these curls in a helmet?” His eyebrow was still raised, lips twitching with the width of his grin.

-You leant forward, touching your nose to his first, then your lips, “Oh, absolutely.” Then, of course, you’d kiss. Slow, warm, and you could feel his gratitude and love for you in the way his hand cradled your jaw.

-Until you heard Dustin’s voice from outside the door that is, “Alright lovebirds, we’re going now. Stop eating each other’s faces and come on.”

-Eddie is an absolute softy for you if you hadn’t guessed already, and when he’s feeling down, you’re the only thing he needs to make him better.  Cuddling, listening to you talk or read, anything. As long as you’re there.

-He loves hearing about your day anyway. Every single moment, he wants to know it all. Even down to the gossip you heard, or Steve’s failed love attempts, your favourite films - all of it.

-Equally, you love to hear him ramble. About Hellfire, about his favourite bands, anything. Sometimes he’ll look at you, catching himself and go to apologise for going on but you stop him, telling him how much you love hearing him light up and get excited.

-Then he carries on with the sweetest smile on his face, those doe eyes completely molten for you.

-Getting to see him walk around the trailer with a towel slung low on his hips, skin glistening with the heat and his hair dripping water all over his chest. He’d lift a hand to push it back, showing off those gorgeous tattoos and leaving you literally losing your damn mind.

-When he’s in the hospital after… things happen, he wakes up to just his uncle and you in there, either side of him holding a hand. Of course he’s so relieved that you’re both okay but he can’t help but feel heartbroken that the others aren’t there. Then he tries to tell himself that it was a stupid idea for thinking that, because he’s not that close to the others anyway, only through you and it was just the end of the world bonding.

-But you can read it in his face and instead of saying something, you just get this smile and whip out a radio, patching through with, “The Dungeon is open.”

-Then oh my god, everyone piles in, each of them carrying something. The kids have all the DND supplies, Max has music, Robyn has movies she thinks Eddie would like, Nancy and Steve have some kind of clothing ‘for his modesty’, and you bring up a giant teddy bear, with a tiny denim jacket, a bandana and a chain that you stayed up altering to look like him. Not to mention an armful of books and all of you carrying snacks.

-He just looks… so surprised and he tries to carry it off with typical Eddie-ness but no one can mistake the way his eyes have gone glassy and his voice wobbly, even with his sarcasm.

-“Guys, I’m in here for another week, not six months”

-“Shut up and eat your snacks.” Affectionately.

-His uncle goes out to get a coffee, surreptitiously wiping his eyes because his boy finally had a group of friends that fucking cherish him and he’s truly happy. 

-You all sit scattered around his bed, you perched as close to his side as you can whilst you all teach Robin and Steve how to play DND. Nancy chimes in now and then, knowing about it from Mike of course.

-A nurse comes by to do her rounds and nearly has an aneurysm at all of you, and all the things now filling the space. Tells you that you can’t all be in here, it’s only two guests at a time unless you’re all family since Eddie is still in recovery.

-Dustin tells her that you are all family, so she can’t kick you out.

-Robin then jumps up and starts explaining how you’re not directly related, but you’re all second and third cousins twice removed or whatever, but it doesn’t matter because family doesn’t always end in blood.

-She of course starts rambling because she’s nervous, so that’s when Nancy jumps up and loops an arm round her shoulder, effectively cutting Robin off midflow and explains that they won’t be any trouble, but they’ve all missed him so much.

-At that point, another nurse comes by and sees the situation, telling the first that you can well stay, “They’ve been here long enough, let them see their friend. At least they’re not clogging up the waiting room anymore.” But the last bit is said with a smile and warmth as both nurses leave you to it.

-Eddie frowns in confusion, tilting his head back against your shoulder to look up at you, “Hey, what does she mean?”

-Then you tell him how you’ve all been sitting in that waiting room from the moment they bought Eddie in, refusing to leave.

-You told them they didn’t need to stay with you, but everyone just parked up and took over an entire corner of the waiting room, sprawled out like puppies whilst you waited for news on Eddie.

-The nurses tried to move you all at first, but when it became evident it would take a whole army and a bunch of monsters to get rid, they gave in.

-The third morning, you woke up to a box of snacks from the vending machine and a bunch of bottled water, with a sticky note on that read, “Everyone deserves a family like you”. And then that night, spare pillows and blankets appeared too.

-And that day he woke up, everyone else was practically crawling up that door until you gave the okay.

-From the moment you and Dustin waged a two person battle that Eddie was innocent, he’d become part of their ragtag group.

-He was prepared to sacrifice his life to get the others to safety, and he very nearly did. He didn’t run away. He saved them.

-And that meant more to this group than he could ever imagine.

-Eddie Munson was so very loved, so cherished no matter what. He wasn’t Eddie the Banished anymore.

-He was Eddie the Found.

[markantonys]

amol chapters 21-36, though once again contains major spoilers for character endgame fates that still haven’t happened yet as of chapter 36

so asha’man can compel aes sedai with the bond but aes sedai can’t compel asha’man? that’s rancid

“she also wanted to be done with the black tower” mood!

my man demandred shows up with the sharans, being very sexy as always. don’t lie, we all have our FILF (forsaken i’d like to fuck) demandred is mine 100%. i love an evil man with a weird nose and an antagonistic homoerotic obsession with the hero (see: francesco pazzi in i medici season 2). i hope he doesn’t get cut from the show and instead absorbs some of the less sexy forsaken’s plotlines so that he can have something to do prior to the final season lmao

he’s acting like a jilted ex by claiming that he has “crawled through the depths of sorrow and risen up to accept my glory,” asking people if they know anything about rand, saying that leane is beautiful but he doesn’t give a shit because he just wants her to deliver a message to rand. “tell him i will finally have satisfaction.” literally the gayest possible way you could’ve phrased that my dude

“i will slaughter and destroy. i will seize his people. i will enslave his children, i will take his women for my own. one by one, i will break, destroy, or dominate everything he has loved. the only way for him to avoid this is for him to come and face me.” somebody is not taking his recent breakup well! his recent 3000-years-ago breakup. on a more serious note, exhibit fucking A of how stupid it was for bashere to make elayne publicize that rand is the babies’ dad!

i’m laughing about all these gay dramatics because rand is literally about to go face the dark one, he does NOT have time for your shit demandred. he’s gonna hear this message and be like “oh my god why are you so obsessed with me” and then continue on to shayol ghul. the dark one is gonna be facepalming that demandred’s gay dramatics are trying to get in the way of his faceoff with rand.

previously we’ve discussed that demandred is mat’s foil, but he’s also gawyn’s foil: homoerotic obsession with rand that consumes their every waking thought meanwhile rand never thinks about them and has no idea they’re obsessed with him. but gawyn was able to get over his onesided breakup and find closure where demandred couldn’t. although rand DID have that angsty gay thought about how maybe demandred wouldn’t have turned to the shadow if rand/LTT had loved him instead of competed with him, so not quite as onesided as gawyn. we’ve also previously discussed mat and gawyn foiling each other (young extremely skilled military men thrust into leadership positions they didn’t want, wary of being used by aes sedai, complicated relationships with rand), so this is just a nice trio of foils here.

in conclusion, demandred and LTT are that post that’s like “characters that never dated but are definitely exes now”

when perrin vanishes graendal’s balefire in TAR: “the woman started. they always did that. didn’t they realize that nothing was real here except what you thought to be real?” i’m so sick of perrin reading 1 wikipedia article on TAR and then acting like he knows it better than women who’ve been studying it for years (he also kinda did this with the wise ones when they tried to warn him against going in the flesh and then once he did so he was like “this doesn’t feel evil, they’re wrong about that”)

“a warrior who will not strike a maiden is a warrior who refuses her honor.” king gaul!!! and we have quite a bit of both gaul and lanfear shaming perrin for Not Killing Women and perrin himself acknowledging that it was foolish of him not to kill graendal when he had the chance. this combined with lan’s scene in the last chapter chunk, i feel like sanderson is coming down hard on how stupid this rj attitude was lmao bless

lanfear says that graendal was invading bashere’s dreams oh no!!!! what did she do!!!! i’m remembering that min had some kinda Darkness viewing about bashere and biting my nails!!!

well, if bashere is under the influence of the shadow then at least that would explain why he made elayne endanger herself and the babies by making her tell everyone rand is the dad lmao idk if he WAS under the influence of the shadow back at that time, but i’m going to believe he was in order to rationalize that buckwild stupidity.

“[egwene] looked at [gawyn], a cold strength in her eyes, and nodded. light! how could she be so calm when he had to clench his teeth for fear they would start rattling together?” that’s our wife!!

gawyn is using the bloodknife rings oooh sexy

at the shayol ghul group, rand has placed aviendha in charge ❤️❤️ so we could’ve had rand facing off against the dark one, aviendha leading at shayol ghul, elayne leading the armies, and mat maybe helping her lead the armies if he was here instead of ebou dar. power polycule!!!

aviendha sees rand approaching the cavern: “he wore his coat of red and gold, but under it a simple two rivers shirt. what he had become and what he had been, wrapped together in one.” 😭 rand has two swords, callandor and laman’s sword. “he carried that because of her. fool man.” 😭😭 “aviendha raised her hand to him, and he raised his in return. that would be their only farewell if he failed in his task or she died during hers. with a last look, she turned away from him and toward her duty.” 😭😭😭😭😭

randlayne was given priority for a number of chapters, and then in this brief portion avirand got priority - avi is the last one to see rand here, and she’s also the last one who got an on-page Relationship Moment with him (a couple chapters ago when they were standing together after scoping out shayol ghul), not to mention the Romance of her being the one leading the group protecting him outside the cavern. meanwhile min has only exchanged about 3 words with rand in the entire book 😌 fueling my belief that min was just sex while rand was Going Through It and desperate for companionship and she was literally the only one available, but elayne and avi are his endgame. now that the end has come and he’s back with his other loved ones, min has all but vanished from his mind and from the book while elayne and avi are the ones he’s focused on and the ones who have onscreen Relationship Scenes with him. min didn’t even GET an onscreen goodbye with him at all lmao! cadsuane mentioned that rand had given min jewelry as a goodbye gift but we didn’t see the interaction! we love to see it! or not see it, in this case.

we have a battle scene here that i did enjoy because it was wonderful to see avi flexing her leadership AND channeling skills! a perfect culmination of her character arc!

moiraine on the shayol ghul cavern: “this is not the bore, this is not the dark one’s prison.” it’s not? oh. well then...................i don’t know what the bore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask. (update: later on it’s mentioned how the bore is Outside The Pattern. i would very much enjoy seeing the show adapt this whole pit of doom confrontation because it’s hard for me to visualize so far in this chapter chunk.)

so moiraine and nynaeve will be the 2 women to use callandor with rand. awww i really think one should’ve been egwene since she and rand have been foils and two sides of the same coin and complements and yin and yang and co-protagonists for so long. bummer! i think her instead of nynaeve would’ve had more impact bc it would’ve shown how far rand has come out of his paranoia and self-isolation, if he was doing this with 2 aes sedai he strongly mistrusted for a long time rather than with nynaeve who was always the only one he never mistrusted or pushed away. and in fact it would’ve been such beautiful poetic cinema if callandor only required 1 man and 1 woman and it was just rand and egwene going into the cavern together. haha i was also thinking that egwene would’ve been better than perrin doing all the TAR stuff, so i guess my dream last battle would just be egwene doing EVERY task jkfjg it’s what she deserves!

nynaeve is wearing a beautiful dress because of course women be dressing to the nines to go BATTLE THE DARK ONE

i once saw someone say that the dark one’s all-caps dialogue makes them think of an old person on facebook accidentally writing things in all caps all the time and now that is always what i think of jkfgjh

rand is now entering the cave, so he officially has no time to deal with demandred’s gay dramatics and in fact has never even heard about them. god it would be so funny if demandred gets killed without ever coming face to face with rand in the entire series, that’s HUGE gawyn-onesided-homoerotic-rivalry-with-rand energy!

“an empress had to be crafty, strong, and skilled if she was to survive” and we have never actually seen tuon be any of those things, we’ve only been told that she is, so i guess that means she won’t be long for this world yeah baby!

“matrim would never be a rival...was not the prince of the ravens a check upon the empress, to keep her strong by providing a constant threat?” see, if the ship had been done well, i would be swooning over the romance of tuon being puzzled that for the first time she has a healthy relationship and a family member who won’t try to kill her, but it wasn’t, so instead i’m just like “yeah i WISH mat was a rival and a threat to her” (but i can soothe myself that maybe this is a sign that mat WILL someday be her and the empire’s downfall, and she’s just underestimating him here as usual)

wait shit tuon believes that rand knelt before the crystal throne, and now that i think about it he did do so literally and also kinda did do so metaphorically since he let her walk all over him in arranging their “alliance,” but the dragon kneeling before the crystal throne was a marker of the bad future in avi’s visions..............OH NO

tuon can you stop forcibly renaming mat FOR FIVE MINUTES

mat just says “knotai? i kind of like it” because by this point he has been officially slave-broken and happily accepts his new slave name

but again i can soothe myself that tuon naming him this as “a bringer of destruction” is a sign that someday it’ll backfire on her and he’ll bring destruction to the empire rather than to the empire’s enemies, as she believes here

mat tells tuon that they have to go help egwene’s army and has the audacity to be upset that she seems like she either might not help or might use the opportunity to enslave all the aes sedai. “i never thought the leopards would eat MY face,” sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces party.

“you gave your word.” “i signed a treaty. any treaty can be broken, particularly by the empress...the empress cannot be constrained by words on a paper.” LMAO wasn’t there a bit in a past book where she insisted that she was so honorable and always kept her promises? LMAOOO and she’s always pressed about the westlanders not keeping their oaths (that they never swore anywhere but in her deranged mind) and whatnot.

me after violating a legal document that i signed: i cannot be constrained by words on a paper 😌

she doesn’t Actually break the treaty yet because she decides it’s in her best interests to help the ~marath’damane army~ so she can use them to defeat the shadow (with the alternative being go back to seanchan right now, solidify her rule, and then come back to fight the shadow with her own forces. because obviously we totally have enough time for that, tuon, it’s not as if the last battle started DAYS ago or anything.) however, this just proves how fucking stupid and pointless the seanchan peace treaty is - tuon does not consider herself bound by it in any way and WILL violate it the SECOND it inconveniences her.

“the clouds had parted above them - they often did when [elayne] was near, one way the bond with rand manifested” ❤️❤️ romance!

just a week or two ago i saw someone shitting on elayne’s pre-battle speech in this book and saying it was lame, but i just read it and it rocks??? fuck off. elayne says “i am supposed to reassure you but i cannot...doing so would remove responsibility...this is not a day for empty promises” and people say it’s lame and not inspiring, but if she HAD hyped the soldiers up more with false positivity then people would’ve said she was being insensitive of the gravity of the situation and treating war as child’s play. there is literally no winning for elayne among Certain Readers.

“birgitte, i am in command, and you are my soldier. you will obey...i’m one of the few channelers of any strength this army has, and i’ll be drawn and quartered before i let myself sit out the fight. i’m easily worth a thousand soldiers on this battlefield.” GO OFF!!!!!!

birgitte tries to protest about the babies, because as we know those are the people she actually cares about and elayne is just a vessel for them in her eyes, and elayne claps back with “even if min hadn’t had that viewing, i’d still insist on fighting. you think the babes of these soldiers aren’t at risk? many of them line the walls of that city! if we fail here, they will be slaughtered. no, i will not keep myself out of danger, and no, i will not sit back and wait. if you think it’s your duty as my warder to stop me, then i will bloody sever this bond right here and now and send you to someone else! i’m not gong to spend the last battle lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk!” YES!!! 👏👏👏👏👏 CHEERING AND PUMPING MY FIST

also, this is another example of there being no winning for elayne among Certain Readers: she does stuff like this and they complain that she’s reckless and gets people killed and Doesn’t Listen To Birgitte, but if she were to spend the last battle lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk they’d complain about her doing nothing and letting everyone else die in her place.

mark my words, lounging on a chaise and drinking goat’s milk is exactly how tuon will spend the last battle. probably min too.

“an odd sensation came to mind. one of the women was in trouble. was it elayne? aviendha? he could not tell.” when rand senses one of his bondholders is in trouble, elayne and aviendha are the only two he cares about 😌 either that or he doesn’t even consider min could be in danger because she’s not doing anything in the battle lmao

moridin arrives. “you could step aside. if my victory is not assured, neither is your fall. let me pass. for once, make the choice you know you should.” “now? now you beg me to return to the light? i have been promised oblivion. finally, nothing, a destruction of my entire being. an end. you will not steal that from me, lews therin! by my grave, you will not!” and they start swordfighting. poor demandred, he wants what ishamael has with rand. demandred and gawyn shaking on the gates yelling “let me in!” whilst rand is too busy in his intense and complicated *and reciprocal* relationships with ishamael and mat.

also, like lanfear, ishamael hovers just on the edge of being a really interesting and complex villain and character, and i hope the show will bring out his motives and psychology more especially through use of AOL flashbacks. it already did a great job establishing “i just want existence to end” as a motive for joining the shadow via dana.

perrin sees the cavern battle from TAR: “two men, locked in battle. two women, as if frozen.” if moiraine and nynaeve spend the entire battle just frozen and not doing anything i’ll be so mad lmao i guess it’s actually good that egwene wasn’t wasted here

perrin and gaul are attacked by aiel male channelers who have been turned to the shadow. this is so interesting, why the hell is it just kind of a 5-page footnote in the final book of the series? why didn’t we get any aiel asha’man? that would’ve been so cool!

“i killed two of those myself, perrin aybara. one could channel. i think myself great with honor, then you slide in and take two captive. bain would laugh herself all the way back to the three-fold land if she saw this.” aw a tidbit of gaul-bain banter/friendship! it should be gaul and bain who are first-siblings rather than bain and chiad. like maybe bain and chiad are already lovers, gaul and chiad start falling for each other, and bain’s resistance is to taking gaul as her first-brother and sharing chiad with him, and then they get a nice little rivals to friends to first-siblings arc. it would’ve made so much more sense! i’m hoping the show will give us mixed gender first-siblings in general (and first-brothers, getting rid of the nonsense that men are worse at being close friends with each other than women are lmao)

“i don’t like fighting beside those seanchan” king gawyn strikes again! and egwene thinks that she “should be fighting the seanchan with every breath, not allying with them. her instincts rebelled as she approached the gathering of seanchan.” i swear to god gawyn and egwene are the only people who still remember that the seanchan suck (and elayne, i believe she was resistant to the idea of allying with them back in the big meeting?)

“egwene’s chances depended on the seanchan joining the battle and engaging the sharan channelers. her stomach twisted...the seanchan damane were not free women; they could not choose to fight. from what she’d seen of the sharan male channelers, they were little more than animals themselves.” queen egwene being the only one to acknowledge this!

“egwene revised her expectations. she’d imagined fortuona as a spoiled adolescent, the product of a coddled lifetime.” no yeah you were right on the money there egwene no revisions needed

egwene absolutely OWNS tuon throughout this conversation and it gives me so much life!!!!!! it is so goddamn satisfying to see someone FINALLY stand up to tuon, given the way she carries a spine-removal kit around (to use @butterflydm​’s extremely apt analogy) for use on literally every single other character who has interacted with her thus far.

now i am going to take a pause simply to record some epic egwene quotes before going back to analysis mode

when tuon says she’d considered whether it would be appropriate for her to speak to egwene with her own voice: “i have considered myself whether it would be appropriate to speak to one such as yourself, who has committed such terrible atrocities.” OOH

when tuon decides oh so generously to see egwene as a queen rather than as a marath’damane for this conversation: “no. you will see me for what i am, woman. i demand it.” OOOH

when tuon agrees and says that she’s spoken to marath’damane before, as it’s allowed for an empress to speak with her pet hounds: “then i will speak with you directly as well. for the amyrlin judges many trials. she must be able to speak to murderers and rapists in order to pass sentence upon them. i think you would be at home in their company, though i suspect they would find you nauseating.” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH a worthy successor to that epic elaida clapback

“i represent the ultimate proof that your society and empire are built upon falsehoods. here i stand, a woman you insist should be collared for the common good. and yet i display none of the wild or dangerous tendencies that you claim i should have. so long as i am free from your collars, i prove to every man and woman who draws breath that you are a liar.” OOOOOHHH and the other seanchan murmur at this!

there will be more epic quotes coming but now i want to analyze. suffice it to say that this was me throughout this scene:

tuon insists that egwene wouldn’t criticize the collar if she’d known its peace and whatever nauseating shit, and egwene reveals to everybody that she WAS collared and she HATED IT!! tuon is big mad because she didn’t know this so now egwene’s made her look like a fool (and undermined the damane system and her authority) in front of a lot of people.

tuon rounds on mat to demand why he never told her that egwene was collared. he replies, “i didn’t think too much about it. she wasn’t one for very long.” boy i bet egwene wishes SHE was able to not think too much about it! mat has deadass been mooning over the head slaver for all these books with that one time his best friend was enslaved by these people just completely slipping his mind. he also chimes in with an obedient little “may she live forever” when tuon ends a sentence with “the empress” which is sickening.

egwene’s FIRST assumptions when she sees mat among the seanchan are that he’s undercover and they don’t know who he really is or that he’s a captive, that he’s in danger, and that she needs to save him from them. i think this is supposed to be a humorous role reversal of mat thinking these things about egwene being amyrlin when he first arrives in salidar, but it’s absolutely heartbreaking. egwene sees her close friend all buddy-buddy with the people who enslaved her and who have enslaved or murdered countless of her sisters and allies, and she assumes that mat must be there for an ulterior motive or not of his own free will, but nope, he voluntarily threw himself in with them because he was into tuon’s ~mysterious eyes.~ and how can i laugh at egwene ~presumptively~ thinking mat needs a rescue, when he DOES need a rescue before he spends the rest of his life miserable and under tuon’s thumb?

egwene says that their marriage was a result of tuon getting caught up in mat’s ta’veren pull (which tuon denies). “‘being ta’veren never did get me much,’ mat said sourly.” so is he admitting that he doesn’t want this marriage or this life?

tuon is mad at mat for not telling her about egwene’s stint as a damane and says “we will speak of this on another occasion. it will not be pleasant.” and later in the scene when he displeases her, “we will have many words about this tonight” 🚩🚩🚩

“egwene regarded the woman, baffled. light! these people were completely insane.” YES. YES THEY ARE. what a breath of fresh air to see a pov character FINALLY acknowledge this. egwene you’re the only bitch in this house i ever respected.

“oh, light, rand. what did you promise them?” mood

egwene actually makes an effort to get concessions from tuon AND SUCCEEDS (tuon agrees to give up tremalking) unlike rand just going “oh well there’s nothing i can do” the second tuon counters him and mat just standing there silently not even trying. because egwene is the only bitch in this house i ever respected.

me @ every character but egwene, gawyn, and elayne: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

egwene announces that all sul’dam can channel. tuon tells her not to spread such lies. “oh? shall we test it, fortuona? you said you trained them yourself. you are a sul’dam, i presume? put the a’dam on your neck. i dare you. if i am wrong, it will do nothing to you. if i am right, you will be subject to its power, and will prove to be marath’damane...let us do it and test the real strength of your commitment. if you prove to be able to channel, will you do as you claim others should? will you stroll up to the collar and snap it around your own neck, fortuona? will you obey your own laws?” i am screaming and hollering in approval, but then, for some GODFORSAKEN reason, this DOES NOT HAPPEN. at this point being collared and forced to channel is literally the only thing that could possibly force tuon into any sort of character development, so WHY in the name of the light would you set this up so perfectly and then wuss out of following through???????????? what’s the point????????? i’m so mad!!!!!!!!! just when i think tuon might finally be forced to face a consequence for the first time in her life!!!

“‘i plan to live centuries,’ egwene hissed. ‘i will watch your empire crumble, fortuona. i will watch it with joy.’” AND YET EGWENE FUCKING DIES IN THE LAST BATTLE AND TUON’S EVIL ASS GETS TO LIVE!!!! IT’S SO UNFAIR I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!! nobody is going to stand up to the seanchan once egwene, possessor of the sole backbone in the westlands, is gone!!!! i’m sure egwene’s death will be a moving Heroic Sacrifice moment, but my god it’s the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened for the upcoming fourth age. the world doesn’t need rand or perrin or mat or nynaeve anymore after the last battle, but it needs egwene DESPERATELY. if an ef5 had to die, why couldn’t it have been literally any of them except egwene? except i don’t want rand to die because he deserves a second chance at life, and i don’t want nynaeve to die because she deserves her happy ending with lan after they’ve had a Doomed Relationship for so much of the series, and i don’t want mat to die because he needs to overthrow the seanchan empire and then go back to the westlands to marry rand and elayne. so, i will amend my statement: if an ef5 had to die, why couldn’t it have been perrin? lmao (tho i do stand by the fact that rand or nynaeve not making it would’ve been better For The World than egwene even if i would’ve been sad personally, and possibly mat as well unless i really AM meant to believe that he’ll destroy seanchan, in which case he needs to survive to the fourth age too)

mat intervenes and pushes them apart. “let’s be civil, ladies. don’t make me throw the pair of you over my knee.” i am going to strangle him and make it stick this time. my earlier-in-this-book sympathy for mat is over now, fuck post-WH mat all my homies hate post-WH mat. like can you IMAGINE a woman with no political authority saying this to two extremely powerful male rulers/leaders while they’re arguing about serious political and human rights topics? ..........okay cadsuane would absolutely do this, but aside from her.

“the people of the world need you two, and they need you levelheaded, you hear me?” they literally do not need tuon mat they would literally be so much better off without her. “this is bigger than any of us. when you fight each other, the dark one wins, and that is that. so stop behaving like children.” and so we have the culmination of the gross ass “one side wanting to enslave the other vs. the other not wanting to be enslaved being treated as equally petty, selfish, and in the wrong” theme that’s been present ever since COT. i’m fuming!!!! chewing rocks!!!!!!!!

“when you fight each other the dark one wins” would’ve been an effective line to use when the world leaders were squabbling in the big meeting scene or when rand and egwene were arguing, NOT when tuon is threatening to enslave egwene and egwene is saying she wants to see her slaver empire destroyed!

although at least mat does chide tuon a little bit extra and tell her that she needs egwene, and doesn’t say anything more to egwene or try to tell her that she needs tuon, so that’s a small mercy

the meeting ends and egwene returns to “where gawyn waited for her” sanderson couldn’t have gawyn present for/within earshot of the meeting because gawyn would’ve beat mat’s ass for treating egwene like that, and rightfully so. also because he would’ve just straight up killed tuon using his bloodknife ring abilities the second she threatened egwene. egwene wouldn’t kill tuon because she’s too practical and levelheaded, but gawyn would’ve snapped and taken her head off, my impulsive boy.

elayne’s exhausted herself channeling in battle, and birgitte actually admits that elayne was right to want to fight and that she did well and that seeing her fight right on the front lines inspired the soldiers, thank god.

elayne realizes that bashere’s been spreading misinformation, which led to them being taken by surprise by a second trolloc army, and concludes that he’s a darkfriend and fires him from being her general and puts him under guard. lan’s been noticing agelmar making mistakes too, so i’m guessing graendal’s messing with all the generals’ dreams.

i’m sad because i always was fond of bashere, but i’m also thrilled because now elayne is in charge and flexes her military general muscles and puts together a good battle plan on the spot! that’s my girl! fuck perrin and everyone else who claimed she’s only a good leader because she sits quietly and lets the male generals do all the work.

“the one power flooded into her, though she could hold only a trickle. she could act as if she weren’t exhausted, but her body knew the truth. she would lead them anyway.” ❤️❤️

min gets sent as a messenger from bryne to tuon. the aes sedai doing gateways have to make them as small as possible since they need to conserve their strength, and min is annoyed that they make her one so small she has to crawl through it. why don’t you do something useful rather than complaining that other people don’t have enough energy left to do things, min?

she mentions that one of the aes sedai notes her “breeches and curls” do NOT tell me min has been curling her hair even during the last fucking battle????? 💀💀 i hope that sanderson just forgot or didn’t realize that her hair wasn’t naturally curly (and it isn’t - there were multiple times in rj’s books where she mentioned that she started curling it For Rand) because otherwise, oh my god.

she’s been doing odd jobs in the camp for a week. interesting that a week has passed since the day before rand went to the pit of doom. “it wasn’t work that had required her, specifically, but it was better than sitting in tear and worrying about rand...or being angry at him for forbidding her to go to shayol ghul.” meanwhile, avi was briefly disappointed that rand wouldn’t take her but accepted immediately that it was the right course of action. “you’d have been a liability there, min told herself. you know it. he couldn’t worry about saving the world and protecting her from the forsaken at the same time.” at least she admits it. “sometimes, it was hard not to feel insignificant in a world of channelers like rand, elayne, and aviendha.” that’s because you ARE insignificant 😌 like, there are so many ways to pull off “non-magical non-warrior character has strength in other areas” and none of them were used with min. her viewings are useless and the emotional support she allegedly provides for rand is either nonexistent or detrimental 90% of the time.

like what’s going on???? lmao anyway

min was just internally moping about being useless but when mat says “hey i could use you” she gets offended that he phrased it rudely or something??? not sure if you noticed but we’re in the middle of a WAR here min, people don’t have time to waste on making sure their requests are phrased politely enough so as not to hurt your feelings.

min even seems to know about mat’s luck??? you’ve met him ONCE and it was before he had that luck! elayne doesn’t even know about it and she’s his bestie! what’s going on??? i would say rand told her, but i’m not sure even rand is aware of mat’s luck? totally possible that he could be, i just don’t remember.

“they’re insane, min. they’re all bloody insane.” “i’m sure egwene would help you escape if you ask, mat.” “well, i didn’t say they weren’t fun. just insane.” mat name ONE time that the seanchan, infamous war criminals and human rights abusers in whose company you’ve been constantly miserable and fearing for your life and your freedom, have been “fun”

“gritting her teeth, min went down on one knee. the woman was the empress, after all. min wouldn’t bow to mat or the generals, but it was only proper to show respect to fortuona.” literally why??? she’s not YOUR empress!

“who is this one, knotai? she thinks herself high.” “oh, well, she’s just the dragon reborn’s woman.” “how curious. that would make her your equal, knotai.” DJFKGJKJHJKDFHGLJ tuon is calling mat rand’s lover and you can’t change my mind

also, it’s making me completely insane yet again that mat is fully aware that min is rand’s girlfriend and is also fully aware that rand is elayne’s babydaddy and we just do not ever see him have any reaction to that or wonder what’s going on. and we can’t even say “maybe rand explained it to him offscreen while they were catching up” because they didn’t GET one of those catchups like rand & perrin and mat & perrin got.

mat tries to hustle min out: “just keep moving. don’t risk her deciding to snatch you up. she’s not particularly good at letting things go, once she has them in hand.” i was all prepared to feel sorry for him, but then, “he actually sounded proud, saying that.” sigh. “you’re as crazy as they are, min thought.” for once something we can agree on. i am trying so hard to interpret everything as mat having been brainwashed and psychologically beaten into submission, but at times it is difficult.

“i don’t belong to anyone. except maybe rand, and him to me.” compare with aviendha: “he did not own her, and she did not own him.” HMMM. very telling. we now have this, avi shunning the thought of possessive public touching while min drapes herself over rand in public constantly, avi accepting immediately that rand has his duty and she has hers while min mopes over rand not taking her to shayol ghul, avi thinking that she couldn’t be with rand until she knew who she was while min thinks she’ll be whatever rand wants her to be.............the two of them are truly at polar opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of how they view relationships, with min being the end of “painfully insecure, possessive, and monogamous.” “we belong to each other” is probably meant to feel romantic, and if used it a different moment maybe it would be, but the fact that we had avi thinking mere CHAPTERS ago that she and rand don’t own each other really throws this line into sharp relief.

oh wack tuon declares that min is her truthspeaker now. is something interesting and non-rand-related finally happening to min for the first time in 14 books? also, note that it’s something interesting happening TO her rather than her DOING something interesting. that’s the real reason she’s insignificant compared to rand, elayne, and aviendha: not because she isn’t a channeler, but because she’s a passive character. things happen TO her, she doesn’t MAKE things happen.

“loial fought on. this song was not a song of victory. it was a song of life. loial did not intend to die here on this hillside. by the light, he had a book to finish before he went!” 😭❤️

mat is weirdly into min all of a sudden lmao hate that. although it IS further evidence for the “mat is gonna cheat on tuon so fast” folder, and that’s always a good thing. and i guess i shouldn’t have expected anything different when the “thinks of all women in terms of whether they’re fuckable” character and the “exists solely to cater to the straight male gaze” character met up.

“she was with rand, so that made her practically his sister.” so you’re saying that min is your sister-wife, because you are also with rand? also, contrast to in LOC when he was like “elayne is so hot, but i wouldn’t kiss her, not because she’s with rand, just because she’s annoying” mat was 100% willing to homewreck rand with elayne, make of that what you will jkjfgh

mat managed to retain his old clothes and puts them on now! phew

it’s so wild that tuon can just go “you’re my truthspeaker now” and snatch min???? and no one does anything about it???? well min, i guess you’re headed off to seanchan forever after the last battle. sucks for her and i’m not necessarily glad about someone else falling into seanchan hands.............but this DOES clear the way for avirandlayne throuple raising their six (6) babies in caemlyn endgame to happen, it has to be said.

mat mentions that he burned the ugly ratty coat he wore to visit elayne in TOM, aw he was so upset that she made fun of it djkfgj

“mat grinned at tuon, and she favored him with a smile. light, but he liked those smiles.” sigh. though this does absolutely read like a fully brainwashed damane being happy to receive a sul’dam’s approval, which..........well, it sure doesn’t SOOTHE me, but it’s better for mat’s characterization to believe that he’s been brainwashed and slave-broken rather than that he’s just fully bought into all this while in his right mind.

“gawyn stepped up to her side, faithful as always.” ❤️❤️ THIS loyal husband DOES spark joy.

egwene notes that gawyn is looking pale, as if at the start of a sickness. oh no!!!!! i think i remember it was mentioned that you don’t live long after activating the bloodknife rings, but idk if that was just because people only activate them to go on suicide missions or if it means that the rings themselves will actually kill you after a certain point. i do know already that gawyn dies (sob) but i don’t know how or when it will happen (same with egwene’s death, i only know the bare fact and not any details).

lan ousts agelmar and mat ousts bryne later in the chapter. and tenobia dies in the battle, so with her gone and bashere currently unfit to rule, does that mean my girl faile is now queen of saldaea? nice! i mean, rip tenobia and everything, but all hail queen faile.

“‘he seems to be yelling for the dragon reborn,’ galgan said. demandred’s voice boomed across the battlefield right then, enhanced by the one power. he was demanding that the dragon come and face him in a duel.” THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME KJFGKHJ the Unhinged Ex energy of it all! the dragon is a little busy battling the dark one, demandred, read the room! i can’t tell you how much this is making me laugh!!

“mat inspected the fellow through the glass. ‘demandred, eh? has he gone a bit dotty, or what?’” mat watching demandred and going “imagine being so obsessed with rand. could not be me!”

in worse news, mat ends up getting his very own slave due to Can’t Kill A Woman behavior, so that’s fun. (he didn’t explicitly reference Can’t Kill A Woman or give any reason for saving the sharan channeler’s life, but i assume this is the reason.) his response to realizing he accidentally enslaved someone: 1) tells tuon she can have her (because slavery is fine as long as HE’S not the one doing it, i guess), and when tuon insists that the channeler is his, 2) “mat shrugged. what else could he do?” i can think of a few things, mat. just a few. “maybe, if the damane belonged to him, he could let her free or something.” all right that’s something at least. now to see if he actually follows through on that after the last battle or if he simply grows ambivalent enough to let her remain damane.........

“has he punished you for that?” “yes. he returned me to life.” wow moridin needs even MORE therapy than rand does

logain’s contingent arrives on elayne’s battlefied. “we came to you first. the black tower stands with the lion of andor.” fistpump! they may have given up on their deadbeat dad, but they went straight to stepmommy elayne the second they had the chance.

“the woman approaching wore fine seanchan silks, and egwene’s stomach turned at the sight. that finery existed because of a foundation of enslaved channelers, forced into obedience to the crystal throne.” GO OFF QUEEN!!!!! but then it turns out that the woman is min, so idk if that’s supposed to make egwene’s moral rant feel humorous or something? also, the narrative has definitely 100% forgotten that da’covale, aka regular non-channeling people, are also slaves (earlier in this book a westlander referred to them as “servants” which i remember seeing quite a bit in the late rj books too)

“‘you should see the things [the seanchan] drink, egwene.’ ‘i’ve seen them,’ egwene said, unable to keep her tone from coldness. ‘oh. yes. i suppose you have.’” absolute dick move by min here. wasn’t she in falme for a long period of time trying to help rescue egwene?? she should be even more aware of egwene’s captivity than mat! why does everybody have such an easy time just Forgetting that their friend was enslaved and traumatized?

“‘i suppose i’m better off with fortuona. she...knows about a certain talent of mine, thanks to mat, and it might let me help her. and you.’ the statement was laden with meaning.” is min actually going to try to use her newfound influence with tuon to take seanchan down from the inside? now that would be an interesting plotline for her. why didn’t this happen to her 7 books ago? i say, axe min as rand’s love interest and instead send her into tuon’s path MUCH earlier on so that she can use her viewings to influence her into having a little smidge of character development, and plus min has known the sul’dam secret since TGH and so might make more headway with tuon there than mat ever bothered to. then have mat stay with rand instead, being his general and a childhood friend to remind him of who he used to be (since mat actually knows the shepherd boy and min does not). they would both be way more useful in the other’s plotline. hell, we can even switch the romances and make min tuon’s love interest and mat rand’s!

egwene on mat: “a carouser, leering at every pretty woman he met. treating her like a painting and not a person.” i’m probably supposed to think egwene is being unfair to mat and misjudging him, but this is literally exactly how he’s been treating women in his own narration ever since WH and even ACOS. since then, every single woman he meets, he describes in terms of whether or not she’s fuckable. this was not the case in the first 6 books.

“he’d jumped into the river to save kiem lewin from drowning. of course, she hadn’t been drowning. she’d merely been dunked under the water by a friend, and mat had come running, throwing himself into the water to help. the men of emond’s field had made sport of him for months about that. the next spring, mat had pulled jer al’hune from the same river, saving the boy’s life...that was how mat was. he’d grumbled and muttered all winter about how people made sport of him, insisting that next time, he’d just let them drown. then the moment he’d seen someone in danger, he’d gone splashing right back in. egwene could remember gangly mat stumbling from the river, little jer clinging to him and gasping, a look of pure terror in his eyes.” 😭😭😭😭😭

“he was a scoundrel and a fool, but she trusted him. light help her, but she did. she’d trust him with her life.” ❤️❤️❤️ i remember when they parted in LOC being so afraid that that was the last time they’d ever see each other, so i’m so happy to see them interact again in this book! even if their one interaction thus far was mat being shitty to egwene. but i have hope that there will be more and better interactions coming.

once again we have mat fretting over how he married an “aes sedai” and not the fact that he married a slaver

“she was something incredible, though. he felt a thrill each time she gave orders; she did it so naturally. elayne and nynaeve could take lessons. tuon did look very nice on that throne.” 🙄🙄🙄 and once again we have mat gushing over how good tuon is at bossing people around, but failing to provide us with any examples of her showing ACTUAL leadership skills. and gushing over how good tuon is at bossing people around when he constantly shits on the wondergirls for a non-malicious and less extreme version of the same behavior. elayne could take lessons? please. unlike tuon and mat, elayne knows that being a ruler is about more than giving orders and looking good on a throne. mat’s “coming to respect nobility” arc, if it had to happen at all, should’ve been him realizing that being a monarch is hard fucking work, rather than declaring that tuon is Not Like Other Nobles when she embodies every single one of his original negative perceptions of them.

but the good part of this passage is that it gives grounds for mat to have a Queen Elayne kink in a better universe, god bless. getting railed by elayne would honestly do him so much good.

“the sul’dam, catrona, almost choked on the words ‘aes sedai.’ mat couldn’t blame her. those could be tough words to speak.” and once again we have mat showing more empathy for the sul’dam than for the aes sedai they think should be enslaved.

“he didn’t look too hard at the damane [whom he accidentally captured]. mat was responsible for her being captured. it was better than her fighting for the shadow, wasn’t it? blood and bloody ashes, he thought to himself. you are doing a fine job of persuading tuon not to use damane, matrim cauthon. capturing one yourself...” sorry, have you EVER tried to persuade tuon not to use damane? this is literally the first time i’ve seen any indication of that, mat. at least he’s feeling some guilt and sense of responsibility right now, for a whole 3 sentences.

“it was unnerving how quickly the sharan woman had taken to her captivity. the sul’dam had all remarked upon it. barely a moment of struggle, then complete subservience.” AKA EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO MAT IN COT

“demandred - despite continuing to rave about the dragon reborn - was continually testing mat’s defenses.” JKJDFGKJJKH KILLING ME AGAIN rafe please give demandred a canon messy gay backstory with LTT because no other justification for this behavior would be as good.

more lines of mat gushing over tuon’s pretty eyes and how much he likes it when she's pleased with him

mat just referred to the sharan channelers as “marath’damane” ugh. but then a paragraph later he mentions “[the seanchan] had started using the term [aes sedai] instead of marath’damane by mat’s order” so that’s good. maybe the prior line i’ll chalk up to it originally being galgan’s line which sanderson then gave to mat and forgot to change “marath’damane” to “channelers” or something.

“he had an inkling of what tuon might be capable of, if she grew displeased with min. he loved her - light, he was pretty sure he did. but he also let himself be a little afraid of her. he’d have to keep watch so that tuon didn’t decide to ‘educate’ min.” okay this is bone chilling. mat is SO CLEARLY in an abusive marriage and a subconscious part of him KNOWS it and is trying to protect min from tuon, though he’s resigned to the thought that it’s too late to protect himself. but the conscious part of him is insisting that he loves tuon, he really does! heartbreaking.

mat spends a whole paragraph talking about how it sucks that seanchan women’s armor doesn’t show boobs and how he ACTUALLY ASKED the armorer if that should be changed. “light, these people had no sense of morality. a fellow needed to know if he was fighting a woman on the battlefield. it was only right.” i’m thinking that in addition to Objectifying Women and Can’t Kill A Woman nonsense, mat is also afraid he might be like “ooh that soldier’s hot!” and then realize it’s a man jdfkjg just accept it mat it’s okay.

“tuon blinked once, looking straight at min. the room seemed to drop into shade, feeling colder. mat shivered. he didn’t like it when tuon got like this. that stare of hers...it seemed like the stare of another person. a person without compassion.” i mean this is literally how she always is? name ONE time when tuon has displayed compassion. also, more “mat being trapped in an abusive marriage and trying to convince himself that it isn’t so and that this isn’t the ~real~ tuon” vibes here.

really interesting scene between tuon and min regarding min’s viewings. tuon attempts to take advantage of the viewings and prevent them from happening, which is a refreshing change from how everyone else just immediately accepted “ah well they can’t be changed, no point trying.” and min stands up to tuon and refuses to share her viewings anymore if tuon will just use them to execute people she suspects of future treason, which is a refreshing change from everyone else having their spine removed when tuon is in the room. see? these two characters play off each other quite well and this plotline/dynamic should’ve been set up way sooner! my 2 most hated characters in the series, yet when they’re together i actually kinda enjoy their interactions lmao it’s witchcraft! probably because min is finally showing an actual personality outside of loving rand now that she’s been separated from him, and because she argues with and challenges tuon and tuon actually listens to her (to an extent) since she’s her truthspeaker.

“if only min would learn a little respect.” mat is literally so scared of his friend getting abused the same way he is, he wants her to just keep her head down.

i love egwene and mat talking in code about his medallion! “do you still have your pet fox?” “i do. he’s snuggled up nice and warm.” “take care of him. i would not see you suffer gareth bryne’s fate.”

mat says “what does elayne want to do? isn’t she in charge?” king shit! respecting her authority and wanting her input, unlike perrin! and then he asks them to make another gateway to get elayne to this meeting so she can discuss with them!

“elayne strode through, thick with child, eyes practically on fire.” mat shaking hands meme with rand and aviendha over commenting on the fire in elayne’s eyes

“she maintained the posture of a queen, but her disheveled hair and clothing burned in several places indicated what she’d been through.” and his earlier description of egwene: “blood and bloody ashes - if he had a soldier with that cast to his skin and that look in his eyes, mat would send the fellow to bed rest for a week.” see, mat? this is what ACTUAL leadership looks like, while tuon has been sitting cozy on her throne letting everyone else do the fighting.

i love to see mat and elayne making battle plans together!!!! power couple!!!!!! tuon could never (she’s just sitting there silently for the whole discussion)

“now, if only [galad] could right [elayne’s] moral compass. she wasn’t a bad person, but galad wished that she - like other monarchs - could see as clearly as he did. he was beginning to accept that they didn’t. he was beginning to accept that it was all right, so long as they tried their best. whatever he had inside of him that allowed him to see the right of things was obviously a gift of the light, and holding others to scorn because they had not been born with it was wrong. just as it would be wrong to hold a man to scorn because he had been born with only one hand, and was therefore an inferior swordsman.” y’all are really trying to tell me that gawyn is the worse trakand brother when galad’s self-righteous holier-than-thou superiority-complex christian-fundamentalist ass is out here behaving like this??? unreal. galad fucking sucks!!!!!!! and has learned absolutely nothing from what morgase was trying to teach him in the last book - his arc should’ve been coming to realize that his view of what’s right isn’t absolute truth, but instead it was coming to accept that it’s okay if other people aren’t as good and perfect as he is because they have not been blessed by the light like he has. bonkers!!!!

like, this is VERY close to how tuon thinks in her povs. this sense of entitlement and enlightenment, this conviction that they are the only ones who know what’s truly right and they must help the ignorant rest of the world see it too - that is BANG ON seanchan thinking.

“he had stopped worrying that his words offended [elayne] long ago. it seemed he couldn’t claim that a day was pleasant or his tea warm without her taking offense somehow. it would have been nice if aybara hadn’t run off. that man was a leader - one of the few that galad had ever met - that one could actually talk to without worrying that he’d take offense.” galad literally being a rightwinger complaining about how easily offended everybody is these days by harmless little things such as being part of a group trying to take away their rights! clearly, elayne is just a special snowflake who’s too sensitive, it’s so unfair that she’s mean to galad! 

no wonder reddit is on galad’s side and whines so much about how immature and prejudiced elayne’s behavior towards him is

the virgin galad (religious zealot, misogynist, joins a group dedicated to oppressing people like his sister and then complains about how mean she is to him about it) vs. the chad gawyn (respects women, devoted his life to protecting his wife, switched sides when he realized that his original side was actively bringing harm to his loved ones)

in conclusion, fuck galad all my homies hate galad. except all my homies DON’T hate galad and so i am alone being old man yells at cloud meme! wake up, my homies! he’s the worst!

there IS a small moment where he instinctively thinks of the whitecloaks as “the whitecloaks” instead of “the children” and is shocked with himself about it, so i guess that’s something. too little too late!

we catch up with faile retrieving the horn from tar valon! wow i completely forgot about that. their conversation at the beginning of the book where they sent her to get it feels like it was 5 books ago.

and aviendha is attacked by some of the aiel male channelers! turns out that when an aiel man can channel they send him to the blight (i’m sure this was mentioned before, i just forgot) and that’s how they all got corrupted by the dark one.

“mat had run off to the seanchan, talmanes to fight alongside queen elayne. one by one, everyone in this group was being eaten by trees, mud, or monsters. why did they all leave olver alone?” “noal...dead. would mat die too?” 😭😭😭

“i am not spending the last battle clinging to a rock! [nynaeve] thought.” my mood exactly lmao we’re on page 600 and she and moiraine have not done anything yet!

it turns out that alanna is in the cavern and is dying, and rand will snap and go crazy if she dies, so nynaeve has to save her but she can’t use saidar because she’s still linked with rand. oh shit!!! it’s nice to see alanna’s bond with rand FINALLY be relevant and have narrative payoff.

egwene is still so ready to help mat escape tuon and the seanchan 😭

mat complains that tuon wants him to sit in judgment. “mat was not going to order men to be executed, and that was that.” okay so then you should sit in judgment and pronounce them innocent rather than avoid jury duty and let other people pronounce them guilty and have them executed? obvious solution here, mat. he complains about elayne and other nobles (gawyn here in this passage) being entitled, yet when HE is given power and privilege that he could potentially use to help others, he does nothing with it. (obviously he’s too busy preparing for the battle to sit in judgment right at this very moment, so that’s fair enough, but his objection IS that he doesn’t want to execute people rather than that he has more pressing duties right now.)

we get 2 little nuggets of the mat-gawyn interactions i’d hoped for in the previous book and didn’t get and i’m delighted!!! “gawyn trakand was apparently practicing to be an aes sedai sometime, because he kept giving mat glares that would have made moiraine proud.” “‘burn me, first rand, then you [egwene]. is everybody going to chivy me about these days? gawyn, you want a turn?’ ‘yes, please.’ he sounded eager. ‘shut up,’ mat said.” JDFGJKHKJHJFG that’s one of my top 10 interactions in the book so far, why did it make me laugh so hard!! could’ve been even better if mat had married elayne and he and gawyn were now annoyed brothers-in-law!

“he could feel something pulling on him, tugging him northward. rand would need him soon.” “he narrowed his eye. rand was tugging on him.” one more cauthor ta’veren pull instance for the road!

“this is it, egwene. take a deep breath, a last pull on the brandy, or burn your final pinch of tabac. have a good look at the ground before you, as it’s soon going to be covered in blood. in an hour, we’ll be in the thick of it. the light watch over us all.” dun dun duuuuuuuun!!!! and the next chapter, titled “the last battle,” is TWO HUNDRED PAGES so i’m calling it a day for this recap.