#god............ hrgh.

[damienthepious]

I am on my knees begging for commentary on tbiohc chapter 21, I would love the part where Rilla gives Arum the flowers or where he bites her hand but honestly any section from the chapter at all would be amazing, please share thoughts!!

aslfjsjfaskfj yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah chapter 21 which caused me to write like 3k words in a single day and made me cry at least twice. :D

im gonna do the bite section but before i say anything else i will mention As Per Your Comment (💖💖💖), Rilla bringing two flowers was, indeed, VERY deliberate. On my part, at least. Rilla doesn't think in metaphors quite as much as me... and damien and arum. MOVING ON.

["Can I- would you let me just-"]

Poor Rilla doesn't have a good vocabulary for what she wants, here. There's a BIG gap between this and what she actually wants to say when she posits her Point Four, but... she wants SOME sort of physical contact with him before she makes her case about... well, informed consent, basically. She wants a connection before she tells him that she understands, and she wants to help him ANYWAY. But she doesn't have the right words to explain that desire, so... she just Reaches Out.

[She trails off, and Arum watches her, his violet eyes vivid and wide and still startled. She leaves her hand hanging in the air between them, just- waiting, and after a few breaths Arum looks towards her palm, swallows, and-]

Arum... I don't know if he fully understands what she's asking for either? But also, i hope this has come through, but in the last few chapters, Damien and Arum have gotten fairly comfortable with some casual touch. touching an elbow, poking each other, brushing shoulders. Since Arum can't talk, touch is just... easier, sometimes, when it comes to getting attention or (as shown earlier in this scene) telling someone to BACK OFF before other guards come in the room.

But that is extremely different from an active, specific request for physical contact from someone else. Even someone who Arum has a burgeoning friendship with via letter. and also. she's not just taking what she wants in the situation either. She's offering him a choice, too. Saying please.

[His face twitches, some strange pain crossing it, and then his jaw clenches for a moment before he- he jerks his face towards her, opening his mouth and nipping at the heel of Rilla's thumb before he shoves his cheek into her palm, his eyes squeezing shut and an expression of pained embarrassment on his face.]

i will say again, As Per Your Comment, you are SO right. Arum is extremely, extremely A Cat. This bit...... it just kinda came to me? i was literally staring off into space and imagining BEING ARUM in that moment, imagining what I would want to do, how I would respond, and... the sort of... despair of admitting how badly he wants what she's offering, and the little bit of defiance to at least pretend that he's going to use his teeth on her before he allows something soft.

And the thing is. He could have drawn blood. He did not want to. There's a little bit of the... like... urge to consume what you can't bear to lose? wrapped up in the gesture? But mostly he just needs to pretend like he even wants to resist them. just a nibble.

[Damien tenses, but- Rilla doesn't respond with pain, her hand looks- fine, and she makes a small concerned noise, moving closer and curling her fingers against Arum's jaw, lifting her other hand to cup his face on the other side.]

Damien doesn't think Arum would hurt him OR Rilla, at this point, but. like. the dude did just lunge and bite his fiance's hand. I'd probably also flinch, regardless. Rilla, for her part, is. having a moment. because she was not EXPECTING him to respond quite so... emotionally? Emphatically? he shoved his face into her hand, so of course she lets her other hand join the first. Of course she cups his face like That.

["Oh," she says, more shaky than Damien is used to hearing her. Arum growls, still carefully low, and he cracks his vivid eyes open to glare at her after a moment.]

I don't want to say that Rilla forgot how bad Arum had it, but... they've been acting like penpals with a secret code for a few weeks now, and... i mean... it's ARUM. he complains, obviously, but... he downplays his own emotional reaction. He describes it dry, if he describes the actual torment at all. Right in front of her, breaking over a simple touch, it breaks her heart, too. And Arum is, of course, embarrassed. Because what's more embarrassing than this? Than falling into her hands, just because she offered?

[Do not ask why I did that, he writes without looking a the page, his handwriting only barely more shaky than normal.]

Universe forbid he expresses himself. Also, i don't think he could in ANY way articulate why the fuck that just happened. He doesn't have the benefit of my perspective as the author, lmao. He'll maybe work out what the fuck is up with himself later.

for now, though, he just... gets to feel her hands on his scales. Deliberate, and calm, and gentle.

so. yeah.

argh.

[flutteringfable]

gives mizuki a lil kiss on the head

[nihiltism]

can you guys take a moment to fully cherish and relish in a world where you don't have a sore throat. for me

[masqueradeoftheguilty]

d’yever remember that diluc is like. meant to be dead.

like. the attack by ursa the drake wasnt by random chance, it was p clearly an assassanation attempt by the fatui on both diluc and his da and the plan was almost certainly to kill both of them.

or. if it wasnt, and the plan was to actually leave diluc alive, then it was a scheme to force him to use the delusion made for him, bcs maybe the fatui realised crepus was never actually going to give it to him.

[racc0jello]

i need to draw. i need to draw. i need to draw. i NEED TO DRAW. i NEED to draw. I NEED TO DRAW. I NEED TO DRA

[featherlouise]

The fabric gods blessed me once for that one Techno drawing I did last year and I've not seen them since 😔😔

[vellichorsdesire]

in another beautiful universe, your f/o is also excitedly gushing about you because they got art of you from their friend

WHATT EH WUWUNWAUAGAGAA HHHRHRGH ??@?@?@.,,&,,@,,@/POOSS ??@??

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

most unfortunate thing ive learned about getting into jr.wi is the overlap with genlo.ssers

[fukounaboy]

It feels like getting a lil pat on the head and i feel so. :3

[crymeariveronceagain]

I am alone, and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be made of the same species, and have the same defects. This being you must create.

--- Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley.

[ospraey]

just so y’all know, i physically cannot stop thinking about this scene.

[dogfagdeathwish]

had a hot trans girl shove my face in her crotch as she pissed on me.

this too is yuri.

[firstginger]

sent out the email to schedule my defense date 😖 it’s getting so real aaa

[insertive-not-assertive]

was doodling a lil tove and had a Realization hes the Heavy to my Medic. unfuckingfortunate

[garlique]

you know the car trouble is bad when even ethan is going 'hm should i get an ebike?'

[incohorace]

∞

CAN I SING THIS TO YOU. GOT A THING ABOUT YOU. AND IT WONT GO AWAY. IT WONT GO AWAY.