#going 2 get a new wig + ears later this year but i still think this is cute...

[lesbianb]

a gentle soul with a mysterious origin among the stars, soraka protects the team on their perilous missions from behind the frontlines. despite her fragile appearance, the second-year carries immense healing power[.] her unprecedented command of the starlight and willingness to put everyone else’s needs ahead of hers has earned the team’s trust and respect—the ever-humble warrior, soraka only shyly accepts her responsibility. […] she has a special connection to the stars, though she and her team do not fully understand it yet.

[jasgirl-creations]

My Summer plans are ruined by my big sister's HUGE cock!

By Jasgirl (Part 1. Part 2 coming soon, hopefully!)  (Tags: Transgirl, Futa, Sister/Sister Incest, Drugs, Breast Growth, Weight Gain, blowjobs) (Note: I’m mostly posting my stories on Ao3 now. So please follow me there!) I had a lot to look forward to this summer. I had just graduated from high school and was still getting used to the idea that I was now an adult. I had the whole summer ahead of me, and even though I had some major life choices to make I was excited to really relax after a very stressful senior year. 

You see, during the last year I decided to come out as trans. At least to myself. So far I’d only told one friend, and he was keeping my secret. Usually I would confide in my big sister, but she had left for her first year at out of state college, and for the first time in my life I was home alone with just our Mom. Of course I loved Mom, and I knew once I figured out how to tell her that I would be living as a girl she’d accept me completely… but… well, I’d been trying to figure out how to tell her for months. I had decided I’d finally come out after my graduation, but after the graduation ceremony Mom announced that she was going on a summer long trip to Greece with her new boyfriend. Honestly, I was pretty relieved knowing that I’d have the whole summer to figure out what to say. Even better, my big sister Melissa would be home, and we could spend the summer together. I knew she’d be able to help!

Melissa wasn’t due for a day, and with my Mom gone I had the house to myself for the first time in months. I decided this would be my first official day living as a girl! I didn’t have any girl clothes of my own, but my sister’s closet was still full of outfits she hadn’t bothered  to take with her to college. I picked out a few that I liked and went to the bathroom to try them on.

I quickly stripped of my clothes and admired myself in the mirror. Really, I thought I looked pretty feminine. I was  the same height as my mom, and with the same slender Asian build that she and my sister had. My hips weren’t as wide and of course I had a boy’s chest, but I thought my long legs were sexy, and my slender neck and high cheek bones were very girlish. I’d grown my short black hair out just a bit over the last few months, and with a little styling I thought it would look very cute.

I knew it wasn’t just my hair that would look cute. A few months ago, just after I decided I was going to be a girl, I decided to try out my new “look” at a costume party thrown by some of my popular friends. Melissa’s old cheerleader uniform was the perfect costume. I found a cheap white Lady Gaga wig that my sister had used for a Halloween costume a few years before, and spent a few hours watching makeup tutorials and shaving my legs. The results were supremely convincing! I looked a LOT like my sister, but with white hair. I didn’t bother padding the sports bra I had borrowed from my sister's underwear drawer, since Melissa was nearly as flat chested as I was.

I was at the party for nearly 20 minutes before anyone recognized me. My friend Tessa let out a shriek and pulled off my wig.

“Jeff! OMG everyone, it’s Jeff! Look! Look! Jeff, you look so cute!”

It was a little embarrassing, but a few minutes later I was dancing with my friends with a beer in my hand and everything was just fine. Except as the night went on I noticed a bunch of the guys were checking me out. At first I thought I was imagining it, but Tessa confirmed my suspicions when she drunkenly whispered in my ear.

“You’re so hot, Jeff. Everyone thinks so. Bill Winslow thanks so.”

A few minutes later I found myself upstairs in a bedroom with Bill. I don’t remember how it happened. He was the same year as me, but looked about 5 years older. We weren’t friends, but we had known each other since freshman year. I was a little tipsy. Bill was drunk, and kept saying that he was and that he’d never, ever do anything with a guy, except I was so pretty and… and then his pants were down and his big, thick dick was in my face, and it was just so much bigger than anything I had ever seen. My own cock was throbbing in my sister’s borrowed panties.

 I stared at Bill’s dick with wide eyes, not sure what to do. I had decided that I was a girl, but I hadn’t ever really thought that I liked boys or had any interest in their dicks at all. But with a big, pulsing dick right in front of me I quickly made up my mind. I leaned forward and opened my mouth, letting Bill’s dick sink between my lips. I closed my eyes and felt a shudder go through my body as his meat pushed deep into my mouth. I was a cocksucker. In that moment I knew it. 

I wasn’t  sure if I was into boys, but I LOVED their cocks!

It didn’t take long for Bill to fill my mouth with cum. I loved that too! Not the taste. Oh god, not the taste! But having my mouth filled with hot, thick cum. Having it drip down my chin. I loved it! Bill passed out on the bed and I escaped to the bathroom to spit out a mouthful of spooge, then out the back door and back home, where I spent the rest of the night masturbating in my sister’s cheerleader uniform. If Bill remembered anything that happened he never said a word about it.

I never got the chance to dress as a girl in public again, and I was never brave enough to seek out any dick, even though I desperately wanted more. Instead I decided to play it cool for the rest of the school year, and transition into my new life starting in the summer.

I slipped on the outfit I had borrowed from my sister and looked in the mirror again. I looked just as cute as I had hoped. Tight pink short shorts with a white stripe on the side showed off my long legs and cute ass. None of the women in my family had much of a butt, but I had been doing squats and other exercises in my room for months and was beginning to see at least some results. I knew if I kept it up I’d eventually have a nice bubble butt to show off!  A plain white crop tee over one of my sister’s bras gave me the illusion of having at least small breasts. I had chosen a matching pink hoodie to wear if I decided to go out, but around the house the tee would be fine. Pink ankle socks and white trainers completed the outfit. I found a matching pink hair band, and once it was in place and I applied light makeup from my mother’s makeup cabinet I looked perfect. A cute 18 year old Chinese girl, out for a job or picking up a snack! I doubted that anyone would think I was a boy.

I spent the rest of the day just enjoying being a girl. I watched tv and did some chores, took some selfies and sat up a new instagram, snapchat and tik tok profile. I did decide to walk down to the corner deli for takeout. I had been there hundreds of times, but the owner didn’t recognize me at all, and as  left I could tell he was checking out my ass! I skipped home, excited to know that I was cute enough to attract that kind of attention!

I woke up the next morning on the couch in the living room. I had fallen asleep watching Netflix and my chin and neck was sticky with drool. My panties were sticky too, and I could tell from my hard cock that I had jizzed myself in my sleep. As I cleaned myself off in the shower I tried to remember the sexy dream that had left me a gooey mess, but my foggy brain couldn’t remember any details. Just as I was climbing out of the shower I heard a noise from down the hall. I froze. Was someone in the house?

I slipped on my bathrobe and slowly crept down the hall, following the noise until I was outside my sister’s room. The wet, slapping noise was coming from inside. Had she come home this morning while I was still asleep on the couch? I suddenly went cold, realizing that Melissa would have seen me dressed as a girl. Dressed as a girl and passed out on the couch with a sticky boner! I stood perfectly still in front of my sister’s door, desperately hoping that some maniac had broken in and was planning on killing me to save me from embarrassment!

I worked up my nerve and knocked on the door, expecting to hear my sister’s voice answer.  But there was no response, except that the noise grew louder. It almost sounded like someone was masturbating, but the kind of masturbating you see in porn. I had watched enough porn with big lubed-up cocks pushing their way in and out of tight fleshlights and sex sleeves over the last year to be very familiar with the sound, and the more I listened the more I was sure some guy was jacking off what I imagined must be a huge dick in my sisters room. Had she brought a boyfriend home from college for the summer?

I took a deep breath and knocked again.

“Melissa? Are you home? Is that you?” The wet noise stopped suddenly, and I heard the sound of my sister’s bed creaking as someone climbed off it. I stepped back , not sure what to expect, but when the door opened I was more surprised than if there actually had been a murderer behind it waiting to kill me.

“S-sis?!! Is that you?”

The bedroom door was barely opened more than a crack, but what I could see of my sister was shocking. Melissa had changed. No, changed isn’t a strong enough word. My sister had transformed!

You have to understand that Melissa was a very ordinary looking girl. I don’t mean she wasn’t pretty, because she was. I thought that I made a cute girl, and that was because I looked a lot like my sister. But you wouldn’t call Melissa sexy. She was slim and fashionable, and had always been popular. When she came back from college over thanksgiving we had all been surprised that she had cut her long, glossy hair short. I had actually been upset, since I had always been jealous of her hair and had just decided to start growing mine out. But cutting her hair was the most radical thing I had ever expected my sister to do!

The woman on the other side of the door looked like my sister’s evil pornstar twin! Everything about her had changed. I looked her up and down, not sure where to start. Her black hair was even shorter than before, and shaved on one side in a punk look that was so unlike Melissa that I couldn’t believe she had chosen it willingly. Except that it was the LEAST radical change. My sister looked like she had packed on 30 pounds of muscle in the few months since I’d seen her. Her formerly skinny body had thickened in a distinctly feminine way. Her hips were wider and her thighs were thicker, and the black crop top she was wearing showed off her firm stomach and strong arms.  As far as I knew she had never worked out a day in her life and always dieted like she was terrified of gaining weight, but somehow my sister had transformed into something like a punk fitness model since the last time I saw her. But what was even more shocking was her breasts. My sister’s barely-there-doesn’t-even-need-a-bra A-cup boobs had swollen into enormous fake looking stripper tits! They were the size of footballs and looked absolutely obscene straining against her low cut top. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her nipples were enormous!

Her outrageous new body wasn’t the end of it. Melissa’s formerly perfectly pale skin was an even dark brown, as if she had been tanning for months. Her thin lips had plumped up into soft, fat pillows. She wore heavy eyeshadow, which only partially disguised the fact that she was obviously exhausted. The combination of fatigue, makeup, darker skin and her new lips almost made her look like another person. The pretty Asian girl I had known all my life had been replaced by her sexy, drugged out evil twin.

“I….wha… what happened to you, Melissa?” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. But my sister just stared back at me, as if she didn’t understand the question and wished I would just leave her alone. “When did you get home?” I asked. I was still afraid she had seen me dressed as a girl. I had planned to come out to her this week, but on my own terms.

“Few hours ago. Didn’t want to wake you.” She slowly looked me up and down, a strange smile spreading across her face. I was dressed just in my white bathrobe, and my longer-than-strictly-masculine hair was still wet from the shower. “You looked so cute, all sticky in my old clothes.”

I immediately blushed. “Uhh…. I… I’m actually…. I’m… I’m transitioning....” My voice was shaking, and I felt terrified. “I… I feel like I’ve always… I’ve always been a girl… and so…”

Melissa cut me off. She reached up and stroked my cheek. Her hand was warm and sticky. “Thats hot. You make a hot girl.” She smiled again. She looked sexy and scary. “Now leave me the fuck alone, little sis!”

She turned and shut the door, locking it with a loud click. I stood in the hall, stunned, confused, horney and upset. What the fuck had happened?  How the hell had my sweet, pretty big sister changed so much in just a few months?  I reached up to touch my cheek and my fingers came away sticky. I extended my tongue and tasted something familiar.

Cum.

I rushed to my room to change. All of my girl clothes were borrowed from my sister, but I didn’t want to dress as a boy. Not now that I had just come out to Melissa. Not ever again! I quickly slipped on a pair of dark grey yoga pants with a pink stripe, a tight black tanktop and the pink hoodie and white trainers I had worn the day before. I tied my hair back in a ponytail and quickly put on light makeup. Studying myself in the mirror, I wondered if I’d look good with heavier makeup like Melissa. Her new look was… intimidating, but…. It was also very sexy.

I realized what I was thinking as I applied darker, heavier lipstick and eyeliner. My sister looked sexy. I had always been attracted to her. I knew I wanted to look like her, and part of that was because of how pretty she was. But there was a difference between the simple beauty of Melissa of last year and the raw porn star sexuality of Melissa today, and as shocking as she looked, my sister was really, really hot! I made myself a simple breakfast and sat in the kitchen, nervously waiting for Melissa to emerge from her room. I had so many questions! What had happened to her in the last six months? How had she changed so much? Why? I also wondered where the guy was that she had brought home with her. My sister had someone's cum on her hands, and had left it on my face. The way she looked now I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had brought a guy home to fuck all summer. The old Melissa would never do something like that… but this new Melissa… I nearly jumped as I heard a door slam and Melissa walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a robe, just like mine (our parents had given us matching robes for christmas), but it was tied loose, and underneath I could see that my sister was nearly naked. She wore thigh high black socks with white stripes (a pair I had planned to borrow) and pink panties. Melissa opened the fridge and helped herself to the milk, drinking directly from the jugg. Something forbidden in our house! Our mom would have a fit! My eyes were glued to her exposed breasts as she gulped down nearly half the jugg. They were so big and so round. I had never seen breasts like that in real life. Of course she caught me staring. Melissa leered at me as she walked around the kitchen’s dining island, until she was leaning over me. “What's your name? Your new name? Have you picked one out?” I looked up at her. She had planted one hand on the island, and was standing so close that when I turned my head it brushed against her breast. “Umm… I… please… please call me Jenny. Or… or Jenn…” I couldn’t believe how nervous I felt. Our family was big on personal space, and I could barely ever remember my sister standing this close to me. Especially not naked! “Jenny is cute. Really cute. It suits you.”

She ran her finger down the side of my face to my chin, then lifted my chin so I was forced to look at her. I was blushing fiercely. Her big breasts were fully in my field of vision. “You actually look really cute in my outfits. I should have guessed you’d turn out like this. I think I like it. Having a cute little sister will be fun!” The way she said ‘fun’ made my heart skip a beat. There was something aggressively sexual in my sisters voice. “Do you have a boyfriend yet? Or a girlfriend? Mmm… Noako always thought you had a crush on me.” I blushed even deeper and my entire body went tense. Naoko had been my sister’s best friend all through high school, and she once caught me going through Melissa’s panties. Melissa noticed my reaction, and let out a laugh that sent chills through my body. “So you DID have a crush on me! A crush on your big sister! Oh Jenny, how perverted! Well what do you think?” She stepped back, planting one hand on her hip as she leaned on the island. Her enormous breasts were fully displayed.

“What do you think of your big sister now? Pretty fucking hot, huh?” I nodded my head, but I was too nervous to say anything. I had never seen my sister naked. I had never heard her say ‘fuck’ in my entire life. My cock was rock hard in my borrowed yoga pants. Melissa leaned over me again, wrapping her arms around me, pressing her breasts against my back. Her hand slid down my body and brushed against my crotch. “I can tell you think I’m hot. I can tell how turned on you are, little sis. What if… what if we have some fun this summer?”

Again, the way she said ‘fun’ made me tremble, and I knew she could feel it. Her hand brushed against my crotch again, lingering a little longer this time. “Mom is away all summer. We have the house to  ourselves. You’re so cute, little sis, and I’m so fucking sexy… why don’t you…” She leaned close, whispering into my ear. “Be my girlfriend.” I pulled away in surprise, my mouth hanging open. “I can’t… I mean, we… we can’t…” Melissa laughed, and reached down to my crotch again, rubbing my cock through my tight yoga pants. Of course we fucking can. We can do anything we want, Jenny. We have the whole summer. So you’re going to be my cute little girlfriend and…” I suddenly remembered my suspicion that Melissa had brought a guy home with her from college. “But… but what about your- your boyfriend?”

My sister suddenly looked confused. “Jenn, I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t like boys.” I was just as confused. “But,,, but I heard! I heard you in your room. You were… jacking off some… some guy…” I had neve been so embarrassed in my life, and it was even worse when Melissa started to laugh. She cackled and slapped her hand on the kitchen counter. “Jenn… oh my god, Jenny. I don’t have a boyfriend! I didn’t realize you were listening at my fucking door, you little pervert!” “I know what… what I heard!” I was trembling with embarrassment. Melissa laughed again and reached down to undo the belt of her robe. It came apart easily, and for the first time I had a full view of my sister’s body… And her enormous cock. It was barely contained by her pink panties, semi stiff and nearly purple in color. Even semi erect it looked huge. I let out an audible gasp.  I was trembling. My sister had a cock. Melissa had a cock! I knew for certain, I was 100% sure, that she hadn’t been born with one. I looked up at her face and saw she was grinning. “Come on. Come here. I want to show you.” She took my hand and tugged me into the living room and onto the couch, where she sat with her robe open and her legs spread wide. Her enormous dick was still half hard and threatening to burst free from her panties. It twitched and throbbed while I watched. I couldn’t look away, but I also couldn;t stay quiet. “H-how!??” I was exasperated, confused and turned on. Melissa laughed. “How? Drugs. Duh! You’ve heard about them, right? The new sex drugs? That can give you bigger tits or a dick? They’re all over campus. Everyone was using them this year.” I just stared at my sister dumbly. I hadn’t heard about any drugs that could do this. My sister was taking drugs? “But… but drugs are… drugs are bad…?” I felt like an idiot the moment I said it. How lame could I be? “Oh my god, you sound like mom. Drugs are awesome. You’ll see when you get to college. Everyone uses them, and these new sex drugs are the best! Look at this!” She pulled down her panties and her gigantic cock flopped free. I watched with wide eyes as it slowly throbbed to life, stiffening before my eyes until it was swaying in front of me. It was nearly a foot long, and thicker than my wrist! “I didn’t know… that dicks could be so big…” I had never seen such a huge cock in my life, even in porn. My heart was beating so fast and my entire body felt hot. “Do you want to touch it?” I nodded as if in a trance. I was already leaning forward, without even thinking about it. I did want to touch it. So bad. I had spent most of the last year remembering Bill Winslow’s cock. How it throbbed in my hand. How it smelled. How it tasted. I had fantasized about sucking it again. About having it fill my mouth. I had thought about it every day for months, and now…. Now my sister’s enormous cock was right here. Right in front of me. And it smelled… it smelled so good! Pungent and strong. Sweaty. I broke my trance and looked up at Melissa. She just grinned. “Go on. My girlfriend HAS to be a cock sucker, and I can tell you want it!”

I couldn’t help myself. I leaned forward, one hand on my sister's naked thigh, the other reaching for her stiffening cock. I actually let out a sigh as my fingers wrapped around it. Melissa laughed and called me a slut, but I didn’t care. I’d been craving cock for months. My mouth found the tip of Melissa’s dick and I gently kissed it, then parted my lips and pushed my head down slowly, letting her cock gently fill my mouth. I had practiced so many times on the rubber dildo I had ‘borrowed’ from our mother, but my sister’s cock was so much thicker. It stretched my lips and filled my entire mouth, and there was still so much more of it! I felt Melissa’s hand on my head, stroking my hair as she encouraged me. “You can do it. I should have known you’d be a natural cock sucker. You look so cute on my dick. Keep going. Keep going. You’re going to take it all. You were born to suck my cock.” I closed my eyes and focused on sucking, bobbing up and down on my sister’s dick, taking as much as I could into my mouth, then pulling back, then pushing down again. Up and down, in and out.Over and over. Filling my mouth with cock felt so good. I wondered why I had waited so long since that party. I could have been sucking dick all year. I could have been on my knees in the school restroom, eagerly swallowing cock. I wanted to cry, I had wasted so much time! Melissa pulled my head back, her cock falling from my lips. I gasped and sputtered, drool and spit dripping from my mouth. “Wha… w-why…. Why did… you stop me? I looked up at her in confusion and saw my sister take a bottle of pills from the pocket of her robe and shake them in front of my face. She twisted the cap off and poured them out on the coffee table. About twenty brightly colored pills. “You’re such a good little cock sucker, but before I give you my cum you need to take your pills!” Melissa pushed me off the couch and toward the coffee table. I hesitantly picked up one of the pills. “You want real titties, don’t you? You don’t want to be a flat chested girl, do you? Take your titty drugs!” I didn’t. I had thought about my transition lot this year. I planned to go on hormones. I planned to get breast implants, since I knew none of the women in my family had very big breasts. I had never considered going large. A B-cup, or maybe a small C. I thought anything bigger would be embarrassing… even though I always liked large breasts. But my sister's breasts were enormous! They were huge and fake, and she seemed proud of them! I had no idea what size they were, but if melissa could have giant breasts, maybe I could have at least large ones/ I looked up at my sister nervously as I pushed the pill into my mouth and swallowed. It was slightly salty and a little sweet, and had the chalky texture of children’s vitamins. I looked at Melissa for approval. The look on her face was unnerving. “Why don’t you take another?” I did. I reached out and took another pill from the pile, placing it in my mouth and swallowing it. “You should take another, Jenn.” I looked over at the pile of pills, then back at Melissa. Her eyes were wide with excitement. I took another pill, swallowing it quickly. “Now one more. Go on.” I took another. I didn’t want to say no to her. “Just one more, Jenny. Just one more.” I reached over to the pile without even looking and fed another pill into my mouth. They were easy to swallow. I was already used to the taste. I looked up at her, then down to her cock. It was throbbing hard, and glistening with my saliva. I really wanted to go back to it. To wrap my lips around it again. Instead I looked back up at Melissa. “W-was that enough?” I had taken five of the pills. “Do you think it's enough?  I like busty girls. Big titties, little sis! Do you think that was enough, or do you want to take a few more?” I reached over again and took a handful of pills. 4 or 5, and pushed them into my mouth. Swallowing before I could stop myself. Melissa seemed pleased, and pulled me toward her, pushing her throbbing cock into my face. It only took me a moment to wrap my lips round it again, to fill my mouth with my sister’s thick hot dick again. I closed my eyes and began eagerly sucking, taking as much of my sister’s thick dick into my mouth as I could. But this time Melissa was pressing my head down,and I could feel the head of her dick pressing against the entrance to my throat. I wasn’t sure I was ready to try to take a cock all the way down my throat. This was only the second cock I had ever sucked,and it was so big I could barely get it in my mouth! Melissa didn’t care if I was ready, and I was too eager to have her cock in her mouth to do anything to stop her. Before I knew it her dick pushed into my throat, and my eyes went wide as she forced me to swallow inch after inch of thick hot cock meat. I tried to relax my throat, I tried to swallow. I had practiced with a dildo before, but never anything so huge! I was shaking as Melissa pushed my head down, forcing her cock deep into my throat. Every inch was a struggle, but finally it was all inside me. My face was pressed hard against her,nearly  a foot of thick girl dick deep in my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I could barely think. But Melissa just recessed my head down, refusing to let me up as she ran her fingers through my hair and whispered to me. “Thats it… t-thats it. Just a little longer. Your throat feels good. Its good, Jenn. Oh god, I’m going to l-love training you to take my dick. Ohhhh fuck, Jenn, here I come, here I come!” She exploded down my throat, hot cum gushing into my stomach and back up into my mouth. I pulled back, coughing as her cock slid out of me, followed by a torrent of cum. There was so much of it. I spit out a mouthful, only to cough more up. It was thick and hot, dripped from my lips and chin in gooey strands. I sat on the couch coughing, clutching my belly that felt like it was full of a half gallon of hot cum. Melissa stood and leaned down, wiping a stray strand of cum from my chin. It didn’t help. My face and hoodie were plastered with sticky jizz. “You didn’t expect that, did you? I bet all the little cocks you’ve been sucking at school only came a little. Just a tiny spurt.” I blushed. “A-actually, there was just… just one…” She was right though. Bill Winslow hadn’t cum like that! Melissa took me by the hand and pulled me up, leading me back to the kitchen. “Come on, we have to feed you. You need calories!” I was confused and in a post cock sucking daze. I was only just realizing that my own dick was rock hard in my yoga pants, and I desperately wanted to stroke it. My sister went to the fridge and started pulling out items at random. Leftover chow mein, lunchmeat, pudding, sweet pork, cheese, the rest of the gallon of milk and a half gallon of cream, a gallon of icecream, grapes and more. I sat at the kitchen island and watched in a stupor, gently rubbing my belly. “W-what are you doing? Melissa?” She turned to me as she moved from the fridge to the pantry, a grin on her face. “The drug activates your growth, but you need calories. All that tit fat has to come from somewhere! The more you eat over the next 24 hours the more you’ll grow.” She heaped an armload of food from the pantry on the island. Chips and protein bars. Cans of chili and baked beans. Soda and dried fruit and cookies. It was half the food we had in the house, and enough for a week’s worth of meals. “Cum helps too. I discovered that on my own. Feeding a slut a belly full of hot cum after she takes her pills activates the growth faster.” She came over to stand behind me as I sat on my stool, pressing herself against my back and reaching around to grope my flat chest through my sticky hoodie. “You’re going to grow fucking fast, little sister. And you’re going to be huge!” I was still dazed, but I looked up at her. “How… how big am I going to grow?” I suddenly had visions of myself with breasts like my sister’s, full fake looking tits stretching my hoodie. I had never thought I wanted breasts that big, but suddenly being that huge seemed really appealing. “Will I be as big as you?” Melissa laughed, and squeezed my chest again. “As big as me? You’re going to be way fucking bigger, Jenn! I told you I wanted a girlfriend with big titties. You took like 10 pills!” I counted in my head. It had been about 10. “H-how many did you take?” “Two.” I suddenly felt very cold and went very still. Melissa had only taken two pills, and her body had transformed so much. I had taken… 10. Melissa could sense my fear and shock. She wrapped her arms around me from behind and held me close. It was the first bit of tenderness my sister had shown me since she had reappeared yesterday. She whispered into my ear. “Don’t worry, little sis. I’m going to take care of you now. I mean it. You’re my girlfriend now and I love you. I’ve always loved you, but now you belong to me. We’re going to be really happy together, I promise. You’re going to love your new life. I shook my head and realized I was actually crying a little. Melissa took a dish towel and wiped away my tears and most of the drying cum from my face. She gave me another hug, and then a long, passionate kiss. My cock was still stiff in my yoga pants,and now it began to throb again. “Okay, here’s what you’re going to do! You see all this food?” She motioned to the mountain of cans, boxes, jars and bags she had set out on the kitchen island. “I want you to eat as much as you can. I want you to eat  fucking all of it if you can. Force yourself if you have to. This is ALL you're going to do today. Eat it all and then take a nap. You’ll need the rest. I’ll be back to see you tonight, and we’re going to have some fun!” “But… but where… where are you going?” I had thought I was going to spend all day with my sister. “I have some fucking stuff to do, little sis! But don’t worry. I’ll be back tonight. And I plan to fuck that ass, so make sure you get plenty of rest!” She slapped my ass and then disappeared toward the hallway. A few minutes later I could hear the shower. I stared at the enormous amount of food set out for me. There was no way I could eat it all. It wasn’t even a meal. Just random stuff! I reached out and opened a bag of chips, and pushed a few into my mouth, absentmindedly chewing and realizing that my mouth still tasted like cock and cum.  I went to the sink and poured myself a big glass of water, first swishing it around in my mouth and then spitting out the collected cum and saliva into the sink, then drinking the rest. I followed it with a tall glass of milk, which I could now actually taste! I suddenly realized I really was hungry. Very hungry! I had just swallowed a huge amount of cum, and before that I had eaten breakfast, but now I felt like I could eat another full meal! I took a big plate from the cupboard and loaded it up with chow mein, meatballs, fried rice and baked beans, and put it in the microwave. While I was waiting for it to heat I opened the tub of pudding and dug into it, eating directly from it with a  spoon. Chocolate pudding was my favorite, but I usually avoided it because of how fattening it was. But by the time the microwave chimed I had eaten half the tub, and brown pudding was smeared across my lips. I put the pudding aside and took the plate from the microwave, sitting it on the island as I opened a bottle of soda and poured myself a glass. As I was eating Melissa stepped back into the kitchen. She was showered and dressed, wearing short black shorts that showed off her toned legs and a low cut black tank top that was very much like the one I was wearing under my hoodie, except for the words “Big Dick Energy” in blue across her breasts. She slipped on a black leather jacket and a black ball cap. I noticed she was wearing the same trainers I wore yesterday. “See, you’re hungrier than you thought, aren’t you? I fucking told you, your body needs the calories. Make sure you eat as much as you can even if you have to force yourself, okay?” She leaned forward and kissed me, then wiped chocolate pudding from her lips. “I’ll be back tonight. I’m going to spend all night fucking you!” Melissa was out the door and I was left with an absolute mountain of food and a growing hunger. I had already cleaned one plate, so I decided to prepare another, loading it up with chicken strips, chow mein, meatloaf, ham and mushrooms. I found a box of corndogs in the freezer and stuck a half dozen of those on my plate too before I set it in the microwave for 5 minutes. While I was waiting I finished off the milk, put a double sized tray of brownies in the oven and stuffed nearly an entire sleeve of oreos in my mouth. I had never eaten so much in my life, and I felt insatiable! My body felt warm and I was sweating a little, and my cock was rock hard and drooling in my tight yoga pants. I heard the microwave ding and I took out my plate, then put the rest of the corndogs in its place. I carried the plate and a 2-liter bottle of Rootbeer over to the couch, then came back to the itchen for another bottle, the bag of chips, 2 packs of cookies and a box of pop tarts. Then came back again for the corndogs when I heard the microwave ding, and grabbed a gallon of rocky road ice cream too. By the time I sat down in front of the tv I felt famished, even though I had eaten more in the last hour than I usually did in a whole weekend! I watched anime as I ate, but I wasn’t really paying attention. My head was still swimming with 

thoughts over everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. I had lived my first day as a girl, discovered that my sister was some kind of drug addict with a pornstar body and a huge cock, sucked my sisters cock, taken body transforming drugs and was now stuffing my face like I hadn’t eaten in weeks! And I was so horny I felt like I might pass out! The only reason I wasn’t masturbating was because I was so hungry that I couldn't stop eating!

I finished the entire tub of ice cream and tossed it aside, reaching for the bottle of rootbeer and gulping down nearly half of it in one long breathless swig. I was panting now, and thirsty as if I had just come back from a run. My forehead was damp with sweat. In fact my entire body was sweating! I stood and stripped off my hoodie, and then my tight yoga pants. I was left in just my tight black tank top and white panties, both borrowed from my sister.  

I took another long drink, gulping down most of the rest of the bottle. I felt feverish, and so horny! I sat back down, slowly rubbing my cock through my panties as I watched some nameless anime heroine bounce across the screen.She was cute and busty, and I wanted to look like her. I wanted to wear tiny skirts and thigh high socks and have big titties that wobbled and shook as I skipped across the room. And I would! I would, as long as I kept eating!

I grabbed a handful of chicken strips with my free hand and shoved them into my mouth, barely chewing at all before I swallowed them down. I was so hungry! I pushed a corn dog between my lips, then tossed the stick aside and reached for another. My cock was out now, and I was lazily stroking it while I fed, feeding both my arousal and my hunger. It felt good! So good! My entire body was sweating now, and I felt light headed, but I couldn’t stop! ---

I heard the oven’s timer chime, and I blinked my eyes.My head felt groggy. Had I passed out? I had set the timer for an hour. Had it been that long? The tv displayed a “Would you like to keep watching?” message. My right hand was inside an empty bag of chips, and my left hand was wrapped around my cock, which was still very stiff but sticky. My belly was sticky too. I had cum on myself. A lot! My bare stomach and tank top were covered with cum, and food too. Crumbs and chips and chinese food. I had made a real mess! I stood up on shaky legs, dropped food falling off me as my cock bobbed in front of me, dripping cum onto the floor. My plate had tipped over onto the couch, but it was mostly empty. All that was left of my feast was a few cookies, and I munched on those as I waddled over to the kitchen and the beeping oven. My stomach felt heavy and swollen, and my cock bobbed in front of me as I moved, dripping cum onto the kitchen floor.

The brownies were completely done. I had used two boxes of mix, a half dozen eggs and an entire jar of peanut butter. They nearly overflowed my mom’s largest baking pan, and probably could have fed an entire party. I knew I was going to eat them all standing right there at the counter. I smeared an entire container of frosting on them, and without waiting for them to cool I began shoving gooey chocolatey squares into my mouth! Even though my stomach felt so full, as soon as the first brownie was in my mouth I realized I was still ravenously hungry. Melissa had said I needed calories, and she hadn’t been kidding. My body craved them! I stood at the counter, leaning over the pan as I fed myself with both hands, barely chewing as I swallowed and swallowed. My belly was distended, and I could hear it groan as I force fed myself, but I didn't care. My body needed calories to fuel its drug induced transformation,and feeding it was turning me on. I thought about Melissa and how different she looked now. Not just fit, but curvy. Busty. Not just sexy, but hot. Like a pornstar. And now I was going to look like that too! I had always wanted to be pretty, but now I knew I wanted to be fucking hot! I had taken so much more of the drug than Melissa. 5 times more! What was I going to look like when this was all over? Part of me was actually really scared. What would my mom think? My friends? I hadn’t even come out as a girl to anyone but my sister, and now I was turning myself into a pornstar bimbo, and I was going to be my sister’s girlfriend! What kind of life was I going to have? But mostly I was too turned on to care. I was dripping in sweat now, my mouth smeared with fudge and crumbs and my belly so full that I looked pregnant. My cock was absolutely throbbing, and I was so horny that I felt like I was on the verge of cumming again, even though I hadn’t even touched myself! As scary as this all was, it was so exciting to. Like a deep, secret dream that had suddenly come true! I finished the brownie, and desperate for something to wash it down, drank an entire carton of mocha coffee creamer too. Finally full and suddenly very, very tired, I waddled to my room and fell into bed, cradling my building belly with one hand while I slowly rubbed my drooling cock with the other. I quickly drifted off into a deep food induced coma. ---

There was pounding on my door. I slowly opened my eyes. The room was dark, and my brain felt… soft. Warm. Mushy. I tried to blink the sleep from my eyes. What time was it? What day was it? The door shook again. “Time to get up, slut!” My sister was back. I slowly rolled over and sat up in bed. I wasn’t sure how long I had slept, but I was still tired. Exhausted. I felt like I had just come back from a track meet. My entire body ached. And… and I was hungry. So hungry! I stood and stumbled across the dark room for the light switch. But as soon as I took a step I knew something was different. My body felt different! Heavier. Fuller. Unfamiliar mass wobbled with each step. I clicked the switch, then let out a surprised shriek. TITS! I had tits! TITTIES! BIG FAT TITTIES! I stared down in amazement, mouth open. Big, round breasts hung from my chest, stretching my tank top, which clung to them with sweat and dried cum. I suddenly realized I must have cum on myself again in my sleep, but I hardly cared. How could I? TITS!!! I pulled my top up, gasping again as my new breasts bounced free. They were ENORMOUS! Full, fat and round! They wobbled on my chest, gently bouncing as I stared down at them. I cupped them with my hands, lifting them slightly. They were heavy and firm, and were so big and round that they almost looked fake. They didn’t feel fake, but I had never actually felt a breast before, and wasn’t sure what they were actually supposed to feel like. I just knew mine felt good! I let out a soft sigh as I squeezed my new tittes.Very good! I didn’t have a mirror in my room, so I hurried down the hall to the bathroom, cupping my new breasts to keep them from jiggling and anxiously looking back and forth for Melissa. My sister had fed me drugs and cum down my throat, but I was suddenly nervous to have her see my new tits. I at least wanted to check out myself first! The changes to my body were…. a LOT more than I realized!

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, mouth hanging open like a moron, totally shocked. I hadn’t noticed in my bedroom. The darkness and my sleep haze (and my rockin’ new tits) had distracted me.  My entire body had changed. I looked like I had gained 20 pounds while I slept!

I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t exactly sure what I had expected, but I thought the changes would be similar to Melissa’s. My sister had gone from slim and athletic to a toned pornstar body with enormous fake looking tits. My new breasts were also really big (maybe bigger than my sisters, although it was hard to tell), but where Melissa was fit and toned, I was plump and curvy. Not fat. Not even chubby, exactly. But I had been thin all of my life. All the women in our family were, and most of the men too. So this sudden layer of new fat, this plush padding, was unexpected. But it was also sexy!

[theficplug]

Taking Erik To The Beauty Supply Store 2 / Barber Shop With Erik

Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Warnings : mature/sexual conversations?

it's a regular day in the stevens household. going to the beauty supply store again & the barber shop but hey it's fun cause it's you and your man.

First taking Erik to the beauty supply store fic:

“I could beat the brake off her lying ass. First of all, I should’ve known something was up cause she asked me if I’m natural. I said yes. She said well I normally do relaxed hair.. Then said you got to have your hair washed and blow dried already… Talking about she was going to have me serving 90s Nia Long. This bitch got me looking like big momma when she came home for that motherfucking party.” You continue your rant as Erik moves around the room looking for your body butter and your fluffy shoes to put on for the day.

You wanted a cute 90s pixie cut to go along with the theme of the maternity shoot which was like the cheesy 90s mall style set with the faded backdrop.

180 dollars and a lopsided , almost a golden bob later and you are still thinking about snatching her out of that salon.

“I’m gonna try and trim it up myself and dye it before the maternity photos tomorrow. But I’mma get two wigs just in case I mess up.” You explain to Erik as he begins to spread the body butter up your legs leaving a golden glow on your skin.

“Not you down there cackling after getting some hang time on the locs you been growing since high school... It’s quiet, ain't no back talk.” You banter with him and he stops massaging your legs to give you a look and laughs softly before giving you a retort of his own.

“You got a lot to say for somebody that can’t even lotion they ashy lil knees.”

“Your daughter been pushing against my organs for 8 and a half months. I don’t wanna hear nothing unless its about my push present. You know that I like rings… My engagement ring looking reeeealll lonely.” you say to him as you dangle your hand in front of his face.

“You look so fucking good today baby… Say, Big Fine, lemme get your number… I’mma eat the f-” he trails off kissing your legs and letting his tongue trail up it and you grab his chin softly.

“Boy if you don’t come on before you be late for your appointment… Can I stop and get a blue raspberry slushie first though?” you ask him and he sighs softly before giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Yeah, hold on let me grab your shoes and purse and then we can go.”

“And obviously yes when we come back before I install that lace front you can beat, duh.” you reply to him before giving him a peck to his lips.

After he grabs everything and helps you down the stairs. And with his help of putting you into his big ass truck you two are on your way.

“We’re going to get my hair cut first cause I already know you’re going to want to go to 2 different stores and it’s only gon’ take him about 15 minutes at the most to line me up.”

He wasn’t lying with the way that you liked to scan every section of the store before you left because to be honest where else were you going to get a pair of skittle shorts, bomb ass lip glosses, and a cute little panda hand sanitizer holder all in one place?

“Okay, sounds like a plan.. The way that I was supposed to have a hot girl summer this year and ended up with a damn its too hot for me to even put my clothes on mom summer. You really were not playing about trying to start a family on your birthday.” you joke as you crunch on your goldfish and look over at Erik.

“I think you just got finer through this whole thing. Watching my baby grow my baby is something surreal. In the beginning watching you go through all of the morning sickness and the body aches and stuff. I felt so bad you know not being able to physically take on all that was going on with you. I aint gon’ never not be appreciative and awe of you.” Erik replies with a serious comment that you were not expecting and you’d be damned if the hormones aren’t doing their thing.

“I really did not expect you to say that. Baabbbee, come on. You know I cry about everything right now. Love you.” you lean over to wrap your arms around him gently and kiss the side of his face while he’s focusing on the road.

“I love you too…. I think I’mma get my locs cut off soon. I don’t know why I’m ready to get a fade and just call it a day.” he questions before looking over at you briefly

“Either way you still gonna look good. I knew you before you even got your locs so you’re gonna look even better now because you grew into your head. Dee be cutting the fuck outta your hair even though he been bald for a good 40 years.” you say and it causes Erik to let out a loud laugh and shake his head.

You eventually ended up ordering a blue raspberry lemonade slushie, a hotdog and fries because Sonic basically took all of Erik's money at this point in your pregnancy.

The rest of your ride was chill as you both swayed to the music or turned it down for a little chat every now and then.

In public was always very protective of you but especially since becoming pregnant he has been hovering over you like a lion waiting for someone to even look at you for too long.

He hops out of the sleek matte black truck first to help you out and sling his arm around your waist with a hand resting on your belly.

You feel some eyes on you as you walk through the door. Your multi-coloured sundress that showcased your back, flowing with you.

Some of the men, new to the shop you assumed, were eyeing you down before Erik looked over their way and nods at them and they pretended to check their phones.

“What's up E? Damn lil sis look like she’s about to pop! How you feeling baby girl?” Dee greets you and Erik as you both walk in and some of the regulars in there say hey to the both of you.

“I’m alright Dee. Baby is just really ready to see the world. She has been kicking up a storm at times. I think we might have a little athlete here.” you reply and you watch as the greyed man with freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose eyes crinkle as he finishes cutting the man's hair sitting in the chair.

“I remember when I became a father for the first time. Shits wild because you think that you know everything there is to know and then when you actually see your baby take that first breath. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” He continues as he shows you a photo of his 4 children and you give him a small smile.

“Ooh, they’re beautiful.” you compliment him as you settle into your seat and scroll on your phone on your phone waiting for Erik to be next.

Some time went by and the men seemed like they were trying to keep their conversation in a hush and you can see some eyes on you as they talked back and forth.

“I’m just saying if you want a threesome with your girl and you expect her to be okay with letting another woman into her bed. You need to match her energy. Could you imagine your girl asking you to bring a whole nother man into your room if that’s not what you’re into? Instead of asking for it. Maybe try bringing toys into the situation. Could spice it up a notch and be in both of your comfort zones. Personally, couples vibrators seem to do the trick just fine.” You advise as you look up from scrolling on your Pinterest feed.

The little huddle of them in front of you stopped talking and immediately looked up at you in silence before Dee’s laugh broke it.

“I don’t know about bringing another man in. That ain't my thing but I get what you're saying. Which ones would you recommend?” The one named Leron asked and you notice Erik is now paying attention , looking from you to them to make sure they stay respectful.

“You better let them know , baby girl! That’s how that baby popped into fruition. She got you with the tantric breathing, huh E?” he jokes and Erik cracks into a smile, his golds gleaming as he looks at you.

“She not wrong. Engage in what your woman like too. Yoga, talking during sex, giving as much as you receive from her, all that. ” He says casually and shrugging and you give him a small smile cause this man done come so far from when you met him.

After he finishes lining up his beard, Erik pays and you’re on your way to one of your favourite places.

“You look so sexy. Your beard is all lined up crisp and stuff. I told you that beard oil was gonna even it out.” you say to him and kiss him below his ear . His hand gripped your thigh gently and you repeated it again.

It didn’t take long before you were at one of your favourite places.

You turned to Erik and asked him to buy a stocking cap for you to try on the wigs that you liked and wanted to see before you purchased it.

You slid on the stocking cap over your hair before grabbing a cute little 27 piece pixie cut wig just to try it on and see what it was giving . You finger combed it and turned to Erik to ask him how it looks.

“Like you finna start singing “Truth is i’m tired. Take me to the king. Here’s my offering-” .” You hold in your laugh as you push Erik’s chest and he grabs your hands.

“I can’t stand your ass !” You say cracking up and Erik grabs the stocking cap from his pocket that he brought himself and slides it over his locs.

You watch as he grabs one of the bobs from the mannequin and sits it half cocked on his head before shaking it side to side.

“What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. You know what to do doooo. You know what to doooo.... This is your grand daddy. This is your grand daddy.” Erik starts acting like Andre 3000 and Mr. Brown. You swear this man was gonna make you push out this baby with how hard you were laughing at him.

“Why are you moving your lips like thaaat? What’s your name? B.O.B, so they calling you Bob? Stop playing nigga you know that I’m known for the bob.” you sing the nicki minaj lyrics to him and both of y’all get a good laugh before he takes off the wig and places it carefully back on the mannequin.

He looks over at the one that looked the most like your hair before you got it cut and slides it on.

His expressions changed and he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his hand on his stomach.

“Whew, my god E. You did this to me and for what? My ankles looking like cornbread huh? Look at this shit bae! If my nose swells for real in these next months, we fighting. Damn, I’m getting thick. I look like I'm pregnant in the front and the back. Can you get me two shrimp po’boys and some fries on the way home? ERIK, wake up- You our baby look like Stitch in this ultrasound? Stop playing , im for real.” he sounds exactly like you and mimicked your expressions to a t.

You giggled softly and snatched his wig off leaving him standing there looking crazy in the cap.

“You wanna fight?” You ask him before walking up on him like you’re on bad girls club and swinging the wig at him.

He helped you put the wig back on the mannequin and kissed both of your hands before continuing through the aisle with you.

You both ignored how many times the employee passed by or watched you as you grabbed some of the products from the shelf and put it into your little cart that you wanted to try.

“You wish this was you, huh? You wanted to be Future from 8 Mile so bad, huh? ” you ask Erik , laughing as you point to the full lace faux locs wig that’s in front of you and he shakes his head.

“She got you down bad. This you?” he asks you as he points to the lil gold church wig that’s sitting on the top shelf and you suck your teeth at him .

“You wanna dip dye your hair for tomorrow? A pretty auburn colour would look so good on you or even a baby blue?” You ask him as you move away from the wigs after deciding to put a off black lace front straight wig in your cart and another in sandy blonde with deep waves.

You scan the shelf of dye as Erik wraps his arm around your waist and takes a look.

“This one looks good right here.” He adds as he hands you a colour called Electric Blue.

“This is gonna look so good on you bae.” You compliment him and he leans down to kiss you softly.

“You only tryna compliment me cause you want me to help you install that wig. You think you slick bae.” he calls as he walks off towards the hair care products for his locs.

“Well, if I’m finna use the little energy I have to retwist your hair you could at least extend the helping hand!” You call after him.

“I haven’t tried peppermint oil yet but it should be good to add to my mix? Look, I found this small ass bonnet. She’s gonna be able to match us.” He says walking back to you and showing you the lilac bonnet in his hand and you swear you were about to tear up again cause all 3 of you were gonna have matching bonnets and durag.

“If she takes after both of us she’s gonna have a head full of hair. To cover that melon from your side.” You tease him

“Come on and grab your butterfly wings for your eyes so we can go home and finish our show. I’mma cook them snow crabs for you too.” he says to you and you can see him watching you like you hung the moon in the sky yourself as you venture off.

You grabbed the edge control, lashes, a new lipstick, earrings, glosses, Got2b spray, and some accessories for Erik’s hair before meeting him at the counter.

It took him all of two seconds to pay for your beauty supply store addiction and you were off on your way back to the crib to love on him.

Erik was currently standing behind you while you sat in the chair in his old large tshirt and held down the wig to the Ghost Bond glue.

You were talking him through helping you finish the install because you just didn't have the energy to do it.

“Okay you gon’ take a lil piece and wrap it around the wand. But please be careful baby. This one goes from like 0 to a 400 degrees so fast.” you warn and watch in the mirror as he takes the first piece and follows your instructions.

You watch him for a while focusing on your head and asking if you liked the way that it’s turning out. You smile softly at him and nod.

“I'm so grateful , you know. “ you say to him with a pout

“Damn, I was just about to send you a do you like me back yes or no text after this too.” he jokes and you shake your head.

“I’m tryna be serious and appreciate you-” you are cut off by him leaning down and pushing his plump lips out for a kiss from you

“I love you too. 2 more weeks and I get to have my two babies in my arms. What more could I want? ”

Tag list: @doublesidedscoobysnacks

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@imayhavemisunderstood

(Long post. Sorry I'm still learning how to do the read more thing! Sorry for being gone from here for so long. This one really helped me ease back into writing especially after how much love the first one received!)

[monstas1ut2]

(2/2) Sanji Vinsmoke (Smut Warning!)

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

She is a thot and you want to cuff (Huh?) She-She is a thot and you want to cuff (Huh?)

The water that was sliding down your throat ever so softly, happened to be caught and then hard to swallow when Sanji decided to say that sentence.

"Huh...?"

Sanji's face kinda faltered as he sighed, just shrugging a little. He'd done something kinda wild, well it's not necessarily wild for someone's boyfriend to buy them things but you aren't used to clothing items..

"I brought you a dress... and I just know you'll like it... I know you'll look gorgeous in it too.." Sanji was firm in his wording, just really wanting you to at least feel happy in your body just a little.. Yeah.. he definitely figured out the problem that was being slipped under his nose... and eyes for that matter.

Sanji also looked to Nami for explanations. As much as she wanted to keep it under wraps, Sanji seemed so distraught. She also knew you would take years to speak on the issue..

"Where is it.." you mumbled out, fiddling with your water bottle as your eyes gazed to the floor. Sanji's words always made you feel.. lifted. Though they could never push you over the edge.. so instead of wanting to feel that.. you decided you'd suck it up...

Sanji's funny, but cute eyebrows had raised up a little as you asked that. He himself almost forgot where he put the dress. Though he remembers putting it on the table in your closet. Your closet was adorable, it had an island in the middle that held your purses and jewelry.

"In the closet..." Sanji's face started to light up ever so gently when he told you where it was. Your form disappearing from his vision as you went upstairs... honestly Sanji couldn't believe it.. he just knows he's going to die when he sees you in it..

His heart was racing just like the first time he'd seen you..

(Sanji went to McDonald’s for Luffy…)

"Your total is $50.75 sir..."

"Oh my, you're beautiful ~~~!"

"Are You Ight...?"

That happened to be the most one sided conversation ever... you both were quite different. You both are still different in a sense, but definitely not as far apart. The both of you are in love with each other.. and seeing you come down those stairs slowly with those black heels and that dress that stuck to you like peanut butter... his nose started to bleed..

"I-.. I actually like it.." you whispered out to him as you tried covering your breasts just a little. Staring at Sanji who happened to be blushing like mad. His eyes continuing to stare oh so lovingly at you and your figure... he just had the urge to touch and give you every thing you wanted.

"I told you... you're just.. beautiful... beautiful in everything..."

"Sanji..-"

"No... really... now may I please have the opportunity to show you off..?" Sanji's voice almost sounded like a purr. Standing up, he'd walked over to you ever so gently and you watched with your lips parted. His lips pressing gently on the back of your brown skinned hand. It was always pretty to see his lighter hand against yours... not to mention how his hand was Damn hot.. hand kink maybe...?

"Let me take you to the restaurant... like we were supposed to do the other week..."

As much as you loved this dress, were you ready to leave the house with it? You felt as if Sanji set you up kinda, he was standing here looking scrumptious ... and now, he has you standing here radiating the same energy... there was no excuse now...

"You sneaky lil boy..." you grumbled playfully as you tried to hold back a smile, pointing at Sanji as he started to softly smile. Of course he knew he was sneaky... only to make you happy though...

"Fine... I'll go..."

"(Y/n)-swannnnn~"

"Mhm..."

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The place of course was beautiful, it's Sanji's restaurant. The place was filled with so many people that your anxiety was rushing towards the top. So many people were also staring because you were hand in hand with Sanji. The owner of the restaurant.. the 5-star restaurant.

Swallowing your nerves, Sanji squeezed your hand gently. Causing you to look up at him as you both were sat at the best table. The water was pretty, you could see it as you sat gently with Sanji.. the man who was inching his hand over to you... it was odd to feel his hand on your thigh, but you decided to touch his bigger hand. That definitely caught him off guard, his eyes kind of widened, especially when you gently leaned your head against his shoulder.

Sanji's love language is exactly this, being able to touch and caress every curve.. every imperfections you hate... he will definitely love.

"I know you like (f/f)... do you want that (y/n)-Chan..?" It was odd how Sanji still remembered such a little thing. You loved (f/f) and especially from his restaurant because the cooks were amazing. At the same time though, you really didn't want to add any more weight to yourself..

The look on your face was obvious to Sanji and oh so suddenly he looked sternly at you when you had removed your head from his shoulder.

"You can eat... and if you don't I'm taking the lace back."

"*gasp* you Ass-.."

"Get the food and eat it." Sanji said simply and honestly, this was the most serious you've seen him. He threatened to take your wig back, like come on he's serious... All you could muster up was a little mumble but Sanji gave you this look... he was really serious about you eating.. and it was kinda hot.

Of course though, minutes later, you were served your (f/f) and it tasted like heaven. At the same time though you were kinda quiet because of Sanji.. he's just trying to love you and the fact is.. you weren't letting him.

So today you were going to do something you'd never done before.. it's a new page.

Putting your utensil down, you gently cupped Sanji's face. He kinda widened his eyes and he could feel your acrylics.. he loved them a lot.. his favorite color is just plain white by the way..

Anyways, he could smell your gentle scent as you got closer and your lips were a centimeter from his ear. To be honest he felt himself already getting heated for nothing... though he couldn't help it.

"I love you... and thank you fa dealin with me...I can't really give you anything but... I could give ya dessert..." the air tickled his ear as he listened to your erotic whisper. Watching as you moved away and let go of his chin. Smiling at him once more before continuing to eat like you've done nothing...

Oh you've sparked fire..

The rest of the date was soft and romantic, it consisted of Sanji wanting to devour you right then and there.. but you obviously refrained that. Taking a little sip of that wine that was offered to you. God you looked irresistible, your back just arched so well and your thighs spread like butter when you sit down... that's talent.

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The ride home was quiet, a soft quiet, the aura was quite tense though. The way your heart was racing was like a person on a broken rollercoaster. The feeling of Sanji's hand against the smol of your back when you both walked into the house was more of a warning.. the warning that this was going to get a bit messy.

"Sanji!" You gasped out in surprise.

Feeling the air swift past you, it's just something you couldn't believe. Sanji just picked you up...

The blonde simply threw you over his shoulder and he even carried you up the stairs.. your legs slightly flailing as your heels were being taken off by him. You could see them in the hallway when he passed by them. The destination being the bedroom, and that wasn't far... he stepped through the frame and in seconds you were plopped on that bed.

"Sanji are you crazy!?" You spoke with shock, just kind of propping yourself up with your elbows. Staring into the male's much darker orbs. Immediately shutting up when you saw him loosen his tie with his slender finger. Staring you down with the energy of a bull. The tie being slid off and dropped to the floor..

"I want my dessert now (y/n)-swan..." Sanji gently teased, his hands taking your ankles and gently slid you downwards towards him so you could be at the edge of the bed. You legs being lifted and your dress being slid up to your waist... all you could think was that Sanji was going to gag..

This man was going to see the stretch marks and the odd fat... and.

Actually... he was at loss of words... his nose actually started to bleed too... though he wiped it away. He didn't want to pass out now.. no...

"May I please.. continue (y/n)...?"

"Mhm..." humming this, you were amazed and surprised at the fact that he still wanted to continue.. what you failed to realize is that Sanji loved your thickness... and he wanted to bite a chunk..

Getting your consent, Sanji felt this rush of excitement. Pushing your thighs forward with his hands and your knees were now to your chest. Feet dangling in the air as you saw Sanji slowly start to go down... where was he going...?

The sudden cold air hitting your soft, pussy lips that weren't like anything he'd seen before honestly. Though they looked like soft brown marshmallows.. your panties hitting the ground as you let out a loud gasp. Throwing your head back from the wet feeling of Sanji's tongue.

"..My ..god-..." Sanji heard those two words from your throat,  his smirk not visible to you but you could sense it. He literally had his tongue lick up your slit.. something you thought would never happen to you. It was so overwhelming.

"Ngh! Sanji! S-Slow down, baby..." you whimpered out, your eyes staring down at the blonde. His eyes staring right back at you... he could taste every inch of you, your juices were leaking all on his goatee. Your brown thighs enclosing him... he didn't care... he didn't care if he couldn't breathe..

Though this was technically your doing, as much as it hurt to let him see your body.. you've finally let him and now he's a cheetah... a lion.. a tiger.. anything but Sanji right now.. especially since you teased him in his own restaurant.. wearing the tight dress and those heels.. he'd just do anything to see your pretty (e/c) eyes rolling back because of him.

The feeling of his lips sucking gently at your folds, caused the pit of your stomach to form butterflies. Just staring up at the ceiling when you relaxed.. tried to at least.

His nails somewhat digging into your hips, it may have felt harsh but you liked the feeling. Being unable to move anywhere else just showed how dominant he wanted to be tonight. Your hand slowly sliding down as you slipped your fingers through his blond locks. Gripping at his hair ever so gently.. simply trying not to hurt him.. but the way he was passionately kissing at your pussy was sending you off the edge.

The lewd slurping sounds echoing as your toes curled, panting out loudly.

"You taste like heaven, (n/n)..." Sanji purred out, the vibrations of his talking giving you this shock of pleasure. He could hear the soft jiggling of your anklet near his ear. He remembered buying that for you... it simply says : S + (your initial).

The power he held was starting to make you twist and turn, trying to move away from his grasp. The dress being such a cockblock at the moment. You just wanted to see him a bit more so you took the rest of it off... eagerly.. Your breasts being shielded by the bra you had on.

"S-Sanji-.. fu-..Fuck... right there, m'gonna cum.. m'gonna cum~..."

Your gasping and pleads weren't making Sanji push away either. His tongue slipping inside of you for the thousandth time as he felt your pussy pulse and ache for something more to push you over that edge. His slender fingers sneakily prodding at your entrance. The slick and wetness of your pussy just made it so easy to slip a finger in. This causing you to jolt and your body shook with a pleading sound.

Sanji could tell your orgasm was here, the tight hold on his finger making him smirk against your lips.

"F-Fuck... don't touch-.. touch it anymore.." You whined out, immediately closing your legs when Sanji moved his head from between your legs. Your (e/c) eyes were closed tightly before slowly opening them again, watching as Sanji started to remove his own clothing.

Considering you were at the edge of the bed, you sat up slowly and your pretty face had a little bit of drool on the side of your mouth. Not to mention how your hair was a bit frazzled.

Staring up at him with lust and love, Sanji chuckled and decided to bend down and kiss your glossy lips. The lip gloss still stayed... not surprising... that Broadway is no joke-

The kiss was deep, the taste of your pussy was mixed in with what the two of you had at that restaurant along with cigarette smoke.. an odd combination of things, no lie.. but it was addicting to taste. A little moan releasing from your throat as your kiss started to become sloppy, your tongue swirling around Sanji's as he started to unbuckle his belt.. though what he didn't expect you to do was push his hands away. Your pretty hands slowly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants.

Slowly breaking the kiss as the saliva was still connected. Sanji's pants being shuffled down by you as you continued to stare up at him. His eyes in slight disbelief, though more of a blush.. watching you take out his hard cock.. your hand gently wrapping around it as you leaned down more and wrapped your pretty lips around it.

Sanji doesn't know what you do to make them so pretty, that dark lip liner mixed with the lip gloss.... He dies, especially since it's around his cock. His precum making an appearance, but dripping in your mouth already.

Tasting him, he seemed to taste salty more than anything. Moving your hand and slowly sucking him in deeper as you moved your head up and down. Your (e/c) eyes looking up to his softer ones. He just looked so cute and hot, so why not give him the gawk gawk 5000? You may be new to sex itself but you're not that much of a saint.

"A-Ah...s-slow down (n/n).."

The same words you told him, now being said by him... pitiful...

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The smell of erotic pleasure turned up to 100%. Your breasts being softly sucked on by Sanji. They were just like Hershey kisses. His hands almost nailing your wrists beside your head as he felt your pussy pulse around him. He deflowered you and now he was going to give you the time of your life..

"Sa-Sanji~... why you so big~..."

The male had to hold his nose because lord knows he couldn't take that. The words and the nasty things you were saying were going to be etched in his brain forever... he just hopes he doesn't think of things like this when he's working... he'll die..

"You have such a naughty mouth my dear..."

"Then spit in it..."

Lord... Nope, Sanji couldn't take it, giving you your first taste of a thrust. Your breath being kicked out of you as your eyes rolled back gently.

"I-... Sanji, keep doin that..." you softly pleaded, your thighs jiggling each time he'd thrust inside of you. Sanji was staring down at his cock continuously disappearing inside you. Watching as you swallowed him just the way he likes it. Call him crazy but he didn't even think of a condom. He didn't want it... he it wanted raw, you wanted it raw...

He needs... quote, needs you to have his babies for sure...

Your breasts was bouncing all wildly when Sanji started to speed up. Your moans not getting any quieter. The bed was being beaten into the wall.. which he'd definitely have to get repaired..

"A-..agh! S-Sanji, daddy-... cum w-with me.. please!"

That nickname slipped from your mouth as your insides clenched around him. Almost trapping him inside as your eyes squeezed shut, feeling Sanji continue to push his way. His loud moans sounded so hot... he was shameless in telling you that this was amazing...

"Damn-... I'm cumming..." Sanji groaned as he watched your pretty eyes once you'd open them again.. the feeling washing over both of you as your nails attached to Sanji's back. Scratching down it with love. The white cum actually overfilling you, a total creamepie... it was so sticky. Your legs trembling a little from the impact.. and you could barely breathe.

Swallowing your butterflies, you figured it was over.. though out of the blue... Sanji was now smoking another cigarette and you just blinked.

"We're not done yet, my beautiful (Y/n)"

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

[tohruhondaismydaughter]

Just had some headcanons about Machi pop into my head that I wanted to share with yall. So we know this poor girl struggles with "perfect"/neat things right? Well I was thinking about some healthy coping mechanisms she could develop to replace the whole 'breaking property/living in a dump' thing & here's what I got so far -

1. She always tries to wear odd socks (unless she's invited somewhere nice)

2. Ayame & Mine help her find cool asymmetrical stuff to wear, how to make clashing colours/patterns work for her & teach her how to sew up her old clothes in a more "punk rock" way (after Yuki & Kakeru explain some of her issues with perfection)

3. Tohru gently points out that she dosn't have to tie her laces the same way on both shoes if she dosn't want to

4. Haru & Rin (awkwardly on her part) teach her the power of acessorising (ie. wearing only one earing, putting on an uneven amount of bracelets/rings/necklaces, adding paper clips of different sizes & colours to your clothing & Machi later ends up adding stuff like buttons to her outfits/belongings as well which Haru & Rin are tottally surppotive of despite thier difference in style) & hair/makeup which (thanks to Yuki's advice) they make sure to keep slightly messy (Kimi laughed at it at first until Momiji made her feel bad after he told her that Machi had gone to the bathroon & wiped off all the make up & undid the hair style so Kimi bought her some limited edition Mogeta merch, after asking for Yuki's advice, in apolgey & started referring to Machi's new hair/makeup style as "punk chic" whenever anyone tried to mock Machi about her new look)

5. her & Momiji go on a crazy tie dying adventure (much to Hatori's grumbling & Mayu's amusement)

6. Kormaki gets her into collecting second hand fridge magnets which she then later uses in her work (my version of post-serise Machi is an artist) once the magnetism finally wears off

7. Kagura teaches her how to fix up old plushies (Machi likes creating Mogeta inspired characters) & gives Machi all her old cat ones to work on (Machi descides not to ask why Yuki's cousin was seemingly once obssesd with orange cats because she looks rather embrassed & a little sad when she hands over her collection)

8. Kyo reluctantly teaches her how to cook a few simple dishes (Tohru comes over as well & Yuki insists her food is better but Machi prefers Kyo's simple style of presentation so it's eventually descided that Kyo & her will do the cooking & Tohru & Yuki will deal with the cleaning which Yuki agrees to becuse cleaning is still difficult for Machi but Kyo says it's actually because no matter how much Tohru tried to train him rat boy knows he would never be able to do anything in the kitchen but burn water)

9. Kakeru teaches her the skills of 'excessive badge & sticker decorating' as well as giving eachother fake tattoos (Kisa congratulates Hiro on not saying anything rude to Yuki's girlfriend about her appreance after they first meet her)

10. Cuts her hair short (she delibretly makes it very choppy) once she enters university, where the rules are less strict about your apprence (at least it is if your at art college), & she also regulary wears diffrent coloured wigs (her favourites being a dark red one & a rainbow one) whenever she wants to temporarily change her appearance (beacuse she didn't want to commit to just one look, still wanted to have the ability to quickly "become invisable" again & she heard from Kimi that exsseive hair die-ing could permantly destroy her hair & scalp) it takes her until she's 30 to try out shaving all her hair off (she worried she'd look sick/crazy or not feminine enough) & everyone's really surppotive (though Kimi dose cry a bit, Rin & Haru aren't there when her hair is being shaved & Kyo is a slightly confused as he'd always thought women liked having longer hair then guys) especially Ritsu (who's growing out thier hair again) & they all throw her a big party (Haru & Rin are there for the party bit just not the hair removal bit because it brought up some bad memories) where Kakeru films it & posts it (with Machi's permission) & they give her cut off hair to a charity chosen by all thier followers (despite her disbelief Machi has manged to gain a small group of loyal fans from all her art stuff & her apprences on her loved ones social media), Kakeru also later uploads a video where they help Machi rainbow dye her buzz cut, (she later explores many diffrent types of buzz cut patterns such as flowers & geometric shapes but, at Kimi's insistence, gets them done by a professional)

11. She recycles & D.Y.I's like crazy (Momiji started singing Do Re Mi from The Sound Of Music after she told him that her new dress was actually made from curtains & Yuki cried when she gave him a little rat plushie made from felt, after he came clean to her about the curse)

12. She almost never wears an apron while working on her art because she likes getting messy

13. When her & Yuki go out to eat she loves things like fondoe (both the chocolate & cheese kind), eat N mess & is genreually just a fan of finger food & it becomes a tradition between her & Yuki (& later Mutsuki) to go on a stroll through the park after thier meal & (if it's autumn) look for piles of leaves to jump in (Machi & Yuki also like playing a game where they try to look for the weirdest looking leaf to give eachother & whoever wins gets to pick what they'll eat for dinner that evening & the looser has to cook it, Mutsuki is the "impartial" judge)

14. Machi is amazing at scrapbooking & collarge making (Tohru is more of a dream journal kind of girl)

15. When it's Summer her, Yuki & Mutsuki go down to the beach to see who can find the weirdest looking rocks (the less impressive ones often get used in Machi's art work, the coolest ones Mutsuki gets to keep & any that are too perfect get tossed back in the ocean & Mutsuki likes to score the splashes they make on how big/loud they are)

16. She loves helping Yuki out with gardening for lots of reasons (it's therapeutic & she loves seeing Yuki happy) but she can't deny it's also just fun getting muddy

17. Machi, thanks to Kakeru, devolpes a love of paint ball (but instead of using guns they just throw the paint at eachother like in 10 Things I Hate About You because apparently the gun pellets actually hurt) & will bring it up as an activity idea to her loved ones any chanse she gets

18. Decorates as much of her flat (& later her home with Yuki & Mutsuki) with Mogeta merchandise, random things she collects & her own art work as a big fuck you to her bitch "you have 0 personality/hobbies or talents" of a mother

19. Kisa (happily) & Hiro (reluctantly) introduce Machi to the magic of glitter

20. Machi & Rin eventually become proper friends due to bonding over being abounded by their asshole parents & one of the things they like to do together is work on thier seprete art peices while listening to music (Machi dosn't do any of her "aggressive" art, like plate smashing, around Rin though thanks to Yuki & Haru warnings)

21. When stuff gets to be too much & none of thier other coping strategies are working (like watching Mogeta stoned- which Kisa, Tohru & Momiji do not partake in) Machi & Haru bond by going to rage rooms together to destroy shit & scream (Haru obviously dosn't want Rin around for any of that though so Momiji, Tohru, Kagura or Hana will often take the opportunity to hang out with her, one time Yuki offered & it wasn't bad but it was definitely awkward as they had never really hung out without Haru before & Haru teases her for ages afterwards about her ending up liking Yuki once she actually spent some time with him which, like the precious tsundere she is, Rin will forever deny)

22. (I actually made a whole seprete post about this ages ago but now it seems to have vanished so in case other Machi fans are unable to find it l'll add it here) on the days that it's supposed to snow but dosn't Yuki takes her (& later Mutsuki) skating so she can enjoy scratching up the perfectly smooth ice (they would have gone on double dates with Tohru & Kyo if Tohru wasn't freaked out at the idea of having blades on her shoes & Kyo hadn't claimed to "not trust" ice, he's dislike comes from all the times Kagura had forced him to ice skate with her on the lake near Kazuma's place in the winter when they were kids, so they would instead go with Haru & Momiji - they had thought about going with Haru x Rin & Kakeru x Kormaki once but he proudly revealed that he'd been banned from thier local ice rink years ago for trying "perfectly safe" Olympic level stunts in he's attempt to recreate one of he's favriote episodes of Power Rangers, much to he's fiancee's anger, & Machi reminded Yuki that though Haru & Kakeru were fine with eachother Rin isn't reall able to stand Kakeru for longer than 5 minuites)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

On set visits; Queen x reader x Borhap boys pt. 2

*Author's note*

And here is part 2. And that's all I've got of the Rock Angel for now. Hope you all enjoy this special binge read of the series. Soon enough the story will come to an end after a few more chapters (I've had the last chapter written for like 2 years now) but I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well as the binge reading I have provided for you all. Until next time, stay healthy, stay safe, and anyone getting their vaccines GOOD LUCK!

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@simonedk

@waddles03

@ixchel-9275

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@bohemiansweede

@queendeakyy

@queen-paladin

@geek-and-proud

@isabella-bby

@labessieisallama

@5sos-wdw

@onebigfangirlworld

@wormzteef

@ssa-sadboi

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

___________________________________________________________

*Meeting the new Rock Angel. Filming continues*

A few days later after bonding with the actors playing my boys, I came to any day of filming I could (outside of my album recording and touring with Queen and Adam). Now the boys promised me and I knew they would follow up with it, the young actress they got to play me in as a cameo for the Live Aid sequence.

I was talking with Miami when we both heard a knock and that's when Graham King came in.

"I've got her."

"Bring her in." I said. He opened the door wider and soon came in the young woman came in.

"You wanted to see me Mrs. Kline?"

"Yes my dear come in." I said. She came in and took a seat on one of the producer's chair. "I wanted to speak to you guys privately about some things that have come up. But first I would like to know your name my dear girl."

"Ashley. My name's Ashley Johansson. But my friends call me Ash."

"Lovely to meet you Ash, from what I saw up there you—you blew me away."

"Uhh thank you. And can I just say I've been such a big fan of yours. My mum always played your first album on repeat every day when she'd take me to school. But I thank her for that cause your story has just been such an inspiration to not only me but her as well."

"I'm flattered Ash. I'm always happy to hear that I inspire people, even when I feel like I'm not really doing anything. All I do is just bring my music out into the world and try to give voice to things that other's don't deem important."

"That makes you an inspiration Mrs. Kline." She said.

"Oh please Ash darling, call me (y/n)."

"Okay....(y/n)."

"Now then straight to business. As you know Hollywood's always wanting to create biopics of anything and everything. And while I've been aware of both Queen's story as well as Elton's life being made into films. I've always been reluctant in getting my story out, but from what I saw a few days ago I feel like I might've found the right team to do just that. So my dear Ash, tell me this; who do you trust the most in Queen?" she looked at me confused but she soon realized just what I was doing.

"Brian was asking me tons of questions but that was the only question Roger ever asked me."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him, that.....All the members of Queen are my family. But if I had to pick, Roger has always seen each side of me. Whether it was the happiest moment of my life, or the darkest day. He's seen my true colors that none of the other band members had seen." I smiled softly and said.

"What happened after you said that?"

"He—he might not have wanted anyone to know but—I could swear I saw him wipe a tear from his eye." I smiled and lowered my head.

"That's my papa lion alright." I muttered. I looked back up to Graham and Ashley and continued, "After seeing the hard work you all have put into Queen's story, I've come to the decision along with my manager and former boss Miami, that I'm willing to sign off the rights to the film to you Graham King. And I want you my dear Ash to play me." They both looked at me in surprise.

"You're—you're serious? You-you want me to play you?"

"I can think of no other person. My uncle and father figures chose well. They—after all knew me better than I knew myself." I heard Miami chuckle softly.

"Thank you (y/n)."

"But there are conditions that I seriously must emphasize on."

"Whatever you want."

"Okay first; I will be heavily involved with the project."

"Done." He said.

"Second, there are some events I will allowed to be shown. But I absolutely refuse to have the stalking episode I was forced to suffer with be heavily shown. It can be touched on but I want nothing else about it in the film. It was hell for my family and my children were scarred for almost ten years, especially my daughter."

"It was horrifying. In my Folklore and true crime class, someone actually did a story on him in the aspect of why celebrity stalking should've been taken more into consideration." Ash said. I closed my eyes heavily trying to compose myself when I felt a hand grasp mine.

"If anything more is spoken about in regards to my Angel's stalker, the project will immediately be terminated." Miami said. I turned to him and he looked at me and nodded firmly as he patted my hand comfortingly.

"The writer's will be informed on it immediately."

"And in regard to Queen's casting, make sure that those four young boys are involved with the project. I love all four of them, they are—everything I remember when I first worked with Queen."

"It shall be done. After this film wraps up and the premiere at Wembley Stadium, you and I can meet at Abbey Road to discuss further more on the project and all the rights that need to be signed." Graham told me.

"Graham King, you've got yourself a deal." We both shook on it. A pact forged that a movie about the Rock Angel would come to place.

Months passed and I was busy touring alongside Queen and Adam for a time, up until Brian decided to pop in on set for a surprise visit. He told me that the boys were now filming the Rockfield farm studio scenes. Now this was one filming session I definitely didn't want to miss.

Brian and I drove up to the location in Hertfordshire, a charming little place known as Stocker's farmhouse and cottage. Since the real Rockfield farm studios wasn't suitable for filming, and ridge farm closed down back in 2003, Stocker's was the only place left.

Coming up onto the filming location, I began to see it looking sorta similar to what Rockfield was when I had used it earlier in my career.

"The studio definitely chose the perfect setting I must say." I said to Brian who was driving.

"Indeed. When the lads and I first came to Rockfield farm we couldn't believe that that was what Fred had in mind."

"But the wide open spaces sure do provide little to no distraction. Guess that's what made a Night at the Opera so successful to you guys."

"You really think so?"

"I know that's how it was for my first album. Plus why do you think your 5th album is the most talked about in regard to your earlier works."

"Suppose you do have a point." He shrugged. After about ten minutes of driving through the country roads, we finally arrived at the farm and the barn house there made me think of the real Rockfield farm studios.

"Not quite the same but the atmosphere of it just brings back memories doesn't it?"

"It does indeed. Shall we go surprise them?"

"Yes, lets." He shut the car off and we both exited the car. We walked towards the barn house where the guys must already be filming right about now since there wasn't really anyone outside. Once we got up to the door, Brian slowly and quietly opened the door but gestured me to go in first.

"Oh lady's first." He said.

"Thank you." I walked inside and Bri followed behind me. Inside I saw some of the crew walking around setting some stuff up. All around it was like the actual recording studio Rockfield farm had. From all the pictures I remember seeing in either magazines or even Brian himself, it was like I was transported back in time to when Queen recorded "A Night at the Opera".

"You know some of those amps and even Roger's kit we used at the time are here."

"Really? So you and Rog donated some of the actual gear?"

"Yep. Since the fans will be nitpicky about certain aspects it's just a fun little way to give them a taste of some of the real equipment. Even Red's here."

"No way. No wonder why you've been using those Red special copies throughout the tour. But Bri are you sure it's okay? I mean I know how protective you are of Red."

"She's been in the best of care."

"Right, right with your mini-copy. I swear even out of the wig and the clothes I can still see you in Gwilym. Are you sure you didn't have another child with a different woman besides Chrissie?"

"I'm positive." He assured me.

"Oh and speak of the devil there's your clone now. Why don't you go say hi while I go find the rest of the little rascals." I patted his shoulder and walked off. As I walked along I saw a familiar figure wearing a long blonde hair sitting next to another young man wearing long auburn hair that went past his shoulder.

I shook my head and walked up to them saying.

"God I swear it's like I transported back in time to 1975." They looked up and proclaimed my name. I was soon tackled in a sandwiched by Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were touring?" asked Ben.

"I was. But Brian decided to do a little surprise visit so I figured since I missed seeing you four so much, I figured I'd tag along and see how it's coming along. So what all have you done since I was last here?"

"We did a scene in Miami's office to represent Queen getting back together before Live Aid, a concert at Madison Square Garden, and the recording studio scene with Mike Myers." Joe explained.

"Now for the next couple of weeks we'll be doing some of the Rockfield farm recordings as well as the Bohemian Rhapsody music video, when Freddie joins Smile, and the "I want to Break free music video." Ben finished.

"Oh now that last one I've got to see for myself." I said grinning ear to ear. "I'll bet you four are gonna rock the drag look just like my boys did. Especially you Ben." I teased as I gently pinched his cheek.

"Yeah Benjamin I can't wait to see you in that skirt." Joe teased as well pinching his other cheek.

"Alright, alright you two enough." He said brushing our hands away and trying to contain his blush. I giggled softly.

"When that day comes, do I got some stories to share with you all about that day."

"We look forward to hearing them." Said Joe.

"And I look forward to telling them. Just let me know if you boys ever get bored of an old woman ranting on about the past."

"Never (y/n). We could never be bored of you. We love having you here, you've given us a lot of support and advice for playing your coworkers and family members." Ben said as he leaned his head against my shoulder.

"Yeah. We could never get bored of you. The day we get bored of you is the day the four of us stop being Queen fanatics. And this movie only keeps increasing our fandom tenfold each and every day." Joe said as he leaned up against my other shoulder.

"Aww you boys are sweet." I kissed Ben's cheek first which made him blush and softly chuckle.

"You lucky dog! I wanna Rock Angel smooch!"

"Then pucker up Joey dear." He puckered up his lips and I leaned in but at the last second I kissed his cheek which made him pout like a child. I laughed and said. "Sorry my dear, but my lips are reserved for one man."

"Can't blame a guy for trying though right?" he asked hopefully.

"No. I guess not. Now Benjamin, if you'll come with me real quick I would like to spend a little one on one time with you." I wrapped an arm around him when Joe said.

"Better not seduce him away from me!"

"Please Joe dear like I'd ever steal a man from you!" I cried back at him. We walked outside and walked towards the cottage. "Ben I've been wanting to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"When we first met; I had mentioned that I was looking forward to seeing you play the drums, but I noticed that you seemed a bit—tense." He froze right there on the spot. I turned towards him and stood in front of him. "Benjamin. Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

"Well I—uhh.....when I, when I went to auditioned I—might've said that I......knew how to play the drums. But I've....never drummed a day in my life."

"So you lied? You lied and ended up getting the part of playing my only father figure in the world?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry (y/n) I just really wanted the job. But I worked hard and trained over ten hours a day in the 8 weeks rehearsal time before we shot Live Aid. I just love Queen so much and I—"

"Ben." I pressed my finger to his lips. "Relax. I knew you lied the second day of filming. Roger told me."

"Did he mention the prank that Rami tried to pull on me?" I nodded as I hummed. "Damn rat."

"Oh trust me. When it comes to certain secrets, Roger cannot keep them forever. Especially when his lion cub gets involved in wanting to know." I removed my finger and cupped underneath his jawline. "But when I saw you perform the entire Live Aid sequence, it hardly seemed like you hadn't drummed a day in your life. While I don't condone for liars, I appreciate that you took the time to study just how exactly Roger drums."

"It wasn't easy. But he was supportive and he even gave me a mini drum lesson. Of course he had to step back and say 'alright. Show me what you got'."

"That's exactly like Roger. He always did the same to me whenever he gave me a drum lesson. I remember when he taught me how to play 'Don't stop me now' back when I was an intern and he told me to play it all the way through."

"Jesus that's rough."

"Depends on how you look it. Guess I got on the lighter end than you did cause he's always had a soft spot for me. But his heart's always in the right place when he mentors. Just ask his son Rufus. That boy takes everything after his father. Not just his looks but his talent too."

"Yeah. Roger has given me some good pointers on how to strike the cymbals on a certain song. Or how to properly spin the drumsticks."

"Knowing how to keep the heartbeat going. The drums are the center of the band. If one beat is off, the entire song can go to shit."

"That was always his number one rule to playing the drums. Drilled that into my head every time." I sighed reminiscing the old days of my tutorial sessions with my dad. "So he really was like your father?"

"Yeah. Out of all the members of Queen, Roger was the one I was drawn to the most. It also helped that he loved me just as much as I did him. Always there to comfort me at my lowest moments, but there to celebrate and keep me grounded when I was higher than a kite. Roger Taylor has and will always be my papa lion."

"That's so cute you guys called each other that. Anytime you came up in conversation, Roger always called you his lion cub."

"Either that or his lioness. Lioness is more for the moments when my true strength comes into play and I do something world changing. Lion cub is like a private thing between us. God I can't believe I confessed to him being a lion to me when I was drunk. But if I'm being honest, I don't regret it."

"I can see you don't, my little lion cub." I looked at him and he just gave me Roger's cheeky grin and that familiar twinkle in his eyes just made my heart flutter.

"Cheeky." I grinned. He smiled and shrugged playfully.

Yeah I know he may not look exactly like Roger when I met him but there are some mannerisms that Ben has that just made me think of my adoptive father.

We continued to walk into the cottage cause I wanted to see what they did to the inside of it. There I saw Rami sitting by the piano in the now wearing the long black hair that Fred had at the time. Jesus without the tache, he looked more like Freddie than I could ever imagine.

However that happiness soon turned to dread and absolute disgust as soon coming right beside Rami was a young man who looked like someone who I had loathed my entire life. The one man who made my life a living hell throughout my years with Queen, the poison who nearly destroyed Queen and exposed my secret to the boys.

It was Paul Prenter.

Rami and Paul were chatting away with each other and I felt sick to my stomach.

"(Y/n)? You okay?" Ben asked me.

"Excuse me." I muttered as I passed him. I trudged right over towards Rami and shielded him. "Stay. Away. From him you snake!"

"E-excuse me?" he asked confused. "I don't know what you're talking about." Typical Prenter.

"Don't play games with me Prenter! You might've fooled Freddie once but you will not do it again! I lost him because of you. You ruined his life! And I swear to you I will make you pay for it. I'm not that little girl anymore!"

"(Y/n)! (Y/n) calm down. He's not really Paul Prenter." Rami tried to reason with me.

"Freddie please I'm doing this to protect you!" I then gripped the collar of Paul's shirt and dragged him aside. "You lying son of a bitch! How dare you show yourself again!"

"Wait! Wait I'm not Paul Prenter!"

"STOP LYING TO ME!!!"

"(Y/N)! (Y/N) (M/N) KLINE LET. HIM GO!!" I turned to see Brian as well as Joe, Gwilym and Ben along with some of the crew staring at me. Brian stomped towards me and pulled me away from Paul and he said to me in a stern voice. "The real Paul Prenter is dead. He's been dead just as long as Freddie has. That's an actor playing him. Alan Leech."

My adrenaline came down and when I looked at 'Prenter' again to see that it wasn't the Paul Prenter I knew. For one thing this guy was much younger, the tache wasn't as thick as Paul's was, and his eyes weren't as cold as I remembered Prenter's, they shown with absolute fear.

Oh god.....what have I done? I collapsed to the ground trembling with regret as tears formed in my eyes. I buried my face into my arms as I softly wept. It was then I felt Brian's arms wrap around me, his head gently resting on top of mine as he rocked me slowly while I wept.

*3rd Person POV*

Rami, Joe, Gwilym and Ben looked at each other before turning towards Allen who spoke not a word but was just as worried as the four main ensemble cast was. Rami first tried to approach (y/n) but Brian looked up at him and put his hand up and shook his head.

After she went silent, Brian helped her stand up and he walked her over to the car. He allowed her to just sit there and have some time to herself. Once he shut the door, the young actors walked up to Brian and Joe asked.

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"With time. Allen I apologize ever so much but you can't blame (y/n). The real Paul Prenter he—put her through hell when she started off as an intern. One thing he did was extremely unforgivable that I don't see why we ever kept him around."

"Brian, she uhh—I know I shouldn't say this but when she was trying to defend me from Paul, she—actually called me Freddie." Brian sighed solemnly and said.

"She still blames herself."

"What do you mean?" asked Gwilym.

"Come with me lads." Brian led them over to the cottage porch and all of them sat down along either the railings, the porch swing or on the two chairs that were out. "As you know everyone in Freddie's life suffered after his death. Some of us still grieve the way we do like Roger and myself. And there are some who became so fragile like Deacy. (Y/n).....she's always lied on the in between stage. She misses Freddie beyond anything no mistake about that, but then there are days when she blames herself."

"Blames herself?" Rami asked.

"Yes. See, when Freddie first told us that he was diagnosed with AIDS. He wanted to keep it away from (y/n), because her career was skyrocketing, plus she had her own family to look after with Kelly and the twins. Freddie didn't want her to worry about him, but one year when we were all in Montreux recording our last album Innuendo, (y/n) allowed us to stay at a vacation house of hers that she had there. That's when she began to deduce just what was wrong with Fred. He told Roger and myself that the poor dear had blamed herself for not being there for him. Because—well truthfully there was a fallout with Queen and the Rock Angel for a time. Now whether we make that into the film is unknown I know writers are always doing rewrites. But she felt like had she stepped up to Prenter or held onto Freddie just a bit longer before turning her back on him, he would've been alive today."

"Jesus." Muttered Ben.

"Poor lass." Allen muttered.

"But she couldn't have known. None of you did."

"And we didn't. Because Fred didn't want anyone to know. It was his personal business and his alone. And although (y/n) says she accepts that it wasn't her fault, there are some days where she says it is. And any reminder of it just sometimes makes her snap."

"I don't blame her. I—I know exactly what she's going through because of my dad's illness. Anything regarding glioblastoma and I just freak out. But—thanks to these guys I.....don't know where I would be."

"We're here for you mate." Gwil said as he patted Joe's knee.

"So you see guys, this film is bringing back a lot of memories for her. Good and bad. So Allen I really hope you don't take offense to what just happened."

"Not at all Brian. Besides after hearing and probably thinking what the real Paul Prenter did, no wonder why she would get defensive around Rami. I hold no grudge against her."

"Thank you. Just—give her time to cool down and then you all can go see her." The five boys nodded in agreement and took the guitarist's word.

*My POV*

After a while once I calmed down and decided I needed to find young Allen Leech and apologize for my erratic behavior. I got out of the car and dapped my eyes with a handkerchief and walked towards the barn.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Kline. We're—not sure it's a good idea for you to be here right now." Said one of the crew members. That's understandable, I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"It's not that we don't want you here it's just that, well after seeing what happened between you and Mr. Leech. We—think it'd be best if you were to not be on the set for a while." I sighed and said.

"I understand. I was way out of line. But—can you please express my deepest apologizes to Mr. Leech. As well as the boys."

"You can tell me that yourself." An Irish voice spoke up. It was then I looked up to see the five boys themselves.

"You're not going anywhere." Said Rami.

"Mr. Malek, we....."

"We heard what you said dear. Now step away from our Rock Angel so that the six of us may talk." He came up and took my hand and the boys took me into the cottage.

We came into the kitchen area and Rami gestured for me to sit down. Joe pulled out a chair and I sat down while the boys surrounded me.

"Boys; I—what you all had to witness, I have no excuse for my behavior. I am ashamed that you all had to see me act like that. Especially you Allen dear. I—hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me."

"I do. Seeing me remind you of someone who—was just known to be such an arsehole and black sheep in Queen's circle, I can see why you acted the way you did. I would've done the same thing too had I seen someone I hate come back and standing before someone who was once a dear friend of mine." Allen said. He came up to me and extended his hand.

"Why don't we forget this whole mess ever happened and start over? Hello Rock Angel, my name's Allen Leech." I looked up at him and smiled as I took his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Allen darling. And please like I've told these guys, call me (y/n)." he smiled and that's when I stood up and hugged Allen and he hugged me back.

"Aww now that's sweet." Rami cooed.

"We're all friends now." Joe said with a smile.

"Yes. We're all friends. Now get in here you lot, group hug boys!" they all laughed and cheered as we all came together and group hugged each other. Forming a new bond and a new start with one another.

Thankfully the studio actually managed to let me stay the rest of the day after that whole fiasco (all thanks to the boys but mostly Allen for agreeing to not press charges on me for assault). Of course they warned me that with another outburst like that, not only would I not be allowed on set again, my consultant position would be taken away.

So I was more well behaved than usual after hearing that I would be kicked off the set.

Right now the lads were recording Gwilym's bit for the guitar solo, but what was cool was that the crew decided to allow Brian to play the solo for the fun of it. So as the playback of Freddie's voice came on, Gwilym stepped aside while Brian came in his spot and began playing his guitar solo.

I stood beside Gwilym as we both observed Brian playing the famed Bohemian Rhapsody guitar solo. I even took my phone out and took a video of what was going on. After the solo, Gwilym walked over to Brian and I made sure to get both of them in the shot.

"That's brilliant. I love that." Rami's voice spoke as Freddie from the other side of the recording studio.

"So now what?" asked Gwilym.

"The operatic section." Said Rami. Both Gwilym and Bri nodded. A grin spreading across Gwilym's face as he muttered.

"Ah-huh. The operatic section. Good."

"Of course." Brian said. Jesus just seeing them like this and hearing the same voice come out of them, it really was like we took Bri back from 1975 and brought him here.

When Dexter Fletcher called cut, I stopped my video and said.

"Oh man Jack's gonna flip when he sees this."

"Is he ever gonna come by for a visit?" Brian asked me.

"Yeah I myself would like to meet the famous Jack Kline." Joe said from the other side of the booth.

"Well unlike us where we know when our schedules begin, law enforcement doesn't get days off. Especially when he's going for the Chief's chair. But who knows maybe he might come by for a day if not a few hours."

"I hope so. It's been awhile since we've seen that husband of yours." Brian told me.

"Yeah, I know. Jack misses coming in every day just like the old days."

"I'll bet he does. Or he just misses seeing the love of his life perform and rehearse. Back in the day when you kids first started dating, he'd always have that puppy love look in his eyes as he watched up on stage. Remember the time in Seattle?"

"That was in Houston, Bri. If you're meaning the time he was so distracted by watching me that he almost ended up tripping over the stage, that was in Houston, Texas."

"Oh yeah that's right."

"Alright we've had our fun, now let's do this for real. Gwilym get to your mark. Brian and (y/n), gonna have to ask you both to get out of the shot frame please."

"Good luck Gwilym dear." I said as I gave him a peck on the cheek for luck as Brian handed him his original red special and we both walked out of the frame and stood behind the camera.

The day continued on filming the boys recording the famed song that this movie was named after and I swear to you, it was like I was seeing history happen. Like I was transported back in time to the summer of 1975 and seeing my boys (just five years before they even became my boys, back when I was just one of their millions of fans) record one of my favorite albums.

And even seeing the struggle and perfectionism that Freddie had for this song. Rami truly brought Freddie's perfectionist behavior right onto the camera and it just—had me bewildered. It was like I was seeing Freddie again, hard at work on his masterpiece.

After a long day's filming, Brian and I unfortunately had to head back to the city to actually record an album together that he was helping me produce. Since touring was over for now, the boys and I (yes including Adam) we were all focusing on our solo stuff now till the next tour came around.

And since Bri had some free time after working with a talented young woman, I had asked him to come help produce my latest album 'Resurrection'. Ever since hearing about the Queen film and also hearing that Elton as well was going to make a biopic film, the title was named in honor of their upcoming films.

Because it would show a whole new generation of audiences what their stories were and show them that like a phoenix, Queen and Elton will resurrect because you can't keep down true legendary artists.

So for about 2 weeks Brian helped produce the album and of course he and I would post on our Instagram accounts both pictures of brief videos of some behind the scenes stuff of our partnership together.

"And there she is. Working diligently as ever." I heard Bri said. I looked up from my I-Pad to see him holding his phone, probably taking a video for his collection package he likes to do on certain events on his Instagram.

"Yes and I thought you'd be helping me too."

"I am. I'm your publicity for now, then I'll go back to being your producer." I smiled and laughed as Brian chuckled. He turned his phone onto him as he spoke to his Instagram followers, "As you can see we're both working extremely hard. Now we can't give too much away, but you can expect this album to be just as powerful as her previous albums in the past."

"But we unfortunately have to go now, our special guest on the album has just arrived and like Bri said, I never give away spoilers." I said as I came in the shot now.

"Okay well you heard the Angel ladies and gents, this is us signing off till next time. Bye."

"Bye!" Brian turned off the video camera and exited his account. And just as he pocketed his phone away, my special guest came in through the doors.

"(Y/n)!"

"Pink, my sister how have you been?" Yep you read right. I had reached out to the one and only Pink to come sing a duet with me. For years since she came up on the market, people have confused our voices cause she and I had the same powerful low range vocals.

Our first time doing a duet was—oh gosh I wanna say very early 2000's. I wanna say even just shortly after the 9-11 attack. I wanted to bring up an album that would spark some life and hope into the people of America, my in-laws especially cause when we lost Jared and Gen, the whole family felt like it was gonna come apart.

I auditioned several young female artists to sing along with me but their voices just either weren't right for the album or they sounded too nasally. But when this young woman at the time, an artist barely known came along, it blew me away at how our voices could mold well together.

So with me singing in a higher range and her taking the low range we launched the song 'Death by bombs, (live by hope)'. It was at the #1 charts in America for the entirety of the New York cleanup and became a national anthem. Pink and I were even asked for several years to sing the song every 9-11 for about 9 years.

Now here we are again six years after our last collaboration.

"You ready to do this?" I asked her.

"Angel, I was born ready. Anytime to sing with you is always gonna be a good one."

"Alright then ladies, step into the booth and let's get this song rolling."

"You got it Brian." Pink said enthusiastically as she and I walked with an arm wrapped around each other's shoulders and we walked into the booth together to begin our work.

Another week passed and when I received a message from Ben Hardy telling me that they were about to start filming my all time favorite music video 'I want to break free' I was on the first flight back to England (since I was recording the album in America) to see the shooting for myself.

I walked through the studio and everything came flooding back. The extras in the cow patterned leotards, the design of the music video set but it wasn't until I saw Joe dressed in the same granny attire that Deacy wore that hit me with pure nostalgia.

"Oh my god nana Johanna I did not know you were still alive." I said exasperatedly.

"Yeah, yeah hahaha very funny." Joe sneered.

"No, no Joe don't take my comment as an insult. You look—every ounce from what I remember Deacy looking like the day I came by with my wedding invitations."

"You were passing out wedding invitations during this music video?" he asked me. I nodded with a hum.

"Jack and I decided to come by to see the guys cause I wanted to deliver their invitations personally. And also ask them to walk me down the aisle since—well you probably know."

"Yeah I get it." He said as he came up and placed a hand on my shoulder. "So you really think I looked exactly like John did?"

"Absolutely. All that's missing is a crying girl crying out 'where's daddy! Where's daddy! That's not my daddy'."

"Okay this could be my dirty mind but that sounded—" I playfully slapped him in the back of the head.

"You're right to get your head out of the gutters young man! I was referring to his daughter Laura. I mean I wasn't there to see it, but Veronica had told me just shortly after the shoot that she had brought the kids over to see their father. Of course Michael and Robert were hysterical with laughter, but poor little Laura who was only 4 at the time was crying cause she didn't recognize her dad."

"Awww well if you wanna recreate it, I can call my sister and get my niece on Facetime to see if it'll work."

"As much as I would love to see that, let's not scar your niece up for life. But yeah, Laura kept denying that the old granny was her dad. Until he took off the wig and she recognized her daddy's fluffy hair."

"That is literally the most adorable thing I've ever heard."

"I know. Laura was a sweet kid. She was the one most attached to me when I first met her. She even recreated a bit of my song for my birthday when she was just 3 years old."

"Okay (y/n) seriously stop you're gonna give me cavities at this point." I laughed and said.

"Alright now show me the rest of the boys, I want to see them."

"They all look amazing. Except for Ben." I looked at him skeptically but he just took my hand and led me towards the kitchen part of the set. There I saw Rami by the table in the pink shirt and leather black skirt, sporting the 1950's hairdo and nails that Freddie wore that day. Gwilym by the fridge in the pink nightie and bunny slippers, along with the curlers, and of course Ben in the 'Rogerina' getup.

The same style wig, the schoolgirl outfit with the leggings, the heels. Wow he looked more of a Rogerina than the real Roger did for this music video.

I let out a wolf whistle and that's when the three of them turned towards me.

"Rogerina has returned. The women who makes men drool at her feet and women turn for her. And if my son Freddie were here, honey you would most certainly turn him."

"God (y/n) please stop embarrassing me." Ben whined.

"I shall not. My cousin Rogerina was the talk of the town back home. Of course along with Aunt Brianna and Fairy godmother Frida."

"Is that what you really called the guys when you saw them like this?" asked Gwilym.

"Who do you think started the trend names? Freddie's was—kinda last minute since....well due to certain things going on at that time. But really you guys, I love each and every one of you."

"I'm still disappointed in Ben's look." Joe bluntly stated.

"And why's that?"

"His thighs are too big. Too much rugby."

"Yes Joe I know. I've been trying to slim down as best I could but these thighs man!"

"Not everyone can please everybody Ben. But trust me when I say, fans will love this and will love you as Rogerina. Plus I think you look absolutely beautiful."

"You really think so?"

"Hell yeah. You're still prettier than I am."

"Oh come on now that's never gonna happen. You are an eternal beauty."

"That's what I've been telling her for years." A voice said behind us. No way. It—it couldn't be. I turned around and my ears weren't deceiving me at all.

Dressed in grey shirt with a dark color blazer and dark blue jeans, the greying of his once blonde hair but those warm eyes of his were unmistakable. A wide smile spread across my face as I laughed out and walked towards him.

"Jack!" I hugged him and he hugged me back. I separated but kept my arms wrapped around his neck. "What are you doing here?"

"The case got solved so I figured might as well put some time off and see just what you and Freddie were talking about. So I called up Roger and asked him where the filming was at, and here I am."

"Ohhh you." I leaned forward and we gave each other a loving kiss.

"Awww." We separated from each other and I cleared my throat.

"Whoa. Okay did we just transport back in time?" asked Jack.

"No love. Boys, I'd like you to meet my husband and the love of my life for over 30 years, Jack Kline. Jack, this is Rami Malek, Gwilym Lee, Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy." I pointed to each of the actors individually.

"It's a pleasure to meet you boys." Jack said with a wave.

"Believe us, it's an honor to meet you Mr. Kline. Brian, Rog and (y/n) have told us many stories about you." said Rami.

"Oh god, if Roger was telling the stories he made me look bad didn't he?" I playfully slapped his chest.

"Not all the time." replied Ben.

"In all seriousness, I must say.....wow this is....."

"I know right? Oh darling just wait till you see the Live Aid sequence Brian managed to record. Don't they just look the part?"

"Yeah. So much so that it's almost scary."

"Ohh and Jack dear, you remember back when George and Jackson were obsessed with Jurassic Park?"

"Lord do I ever. They practically ruined the tape." He said with a groan.

"Well—Joe here, played the young boy Tim in the film." I then saw Jack's jaw drop as he turned towards Joe.

"So you're—you were....."

"Yep. I was little Tim Murphy in Jurassic Park. My first major gig that got my name out there."

"Wow. And seeing you now dressed like this it—you look so much like him." Jack said in awe. I turned to Joe with a 'told you so' look.

"Yeah it was scary to see just how much I looked like him. I even asked my mom if she was up to anything around 1983." Jack laughed.

The rest of the day was spent seeing the boys perform the music video, as well as a couple more stage concerts from both the 70's and 80's. When Jack got to see these four young actors in full Queen costume and hair/makeup, he was blown away. As we were in the back of the extras who were the crowd, Jack kept his arms around me as we watch in awe.

His head leaning against mine as we watched Rami literally become Freddie with every strut, head turn and bent back, se saw Gwilym play a model of the red special guitar just how Brian is known for, Ben working hard in the back with the drums literally playing just like how Roger is known to play. But I know that out of the four of them, Jack was beyond amazed at seeing Joe Mazzello play his former mentor and idol John 'Disco' Deacy.

His bass playing and even doing the funky little moves that John as known to do on a more upbeat song like 'Fat Bottomed girls,' or 'We will Rock you'. We clapped along with the extras and cheered for them. I knew that with what I've seen so far, this movie was going to be—sensational. Just like the band themselves.

Later that night after wrapping for the day, Jack and I were now at home getting ready for bed.

"So, what did you think of it?"

"They picked the right actors. And the right team to work on it. You were right (y/n)."

"Of course I am." I teased.

"Don't get cheeky with me love, you know what I mean. This movie it—it's everything I hoped it would be. I just wonder if—he would've loved it." I looked at my husband empathetically and said so

"He does." I looked out towards the window up at the stars and continued, "They both do." I felt Jack wrap his arm around me and the two of us cuddled up close together and fell right asleep after a long and busy day.

[jamespotterthefirst]

October 31st (Ethan x f!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.3K Warning: Language Premise: Ethan Ramsey doesn’t do costumes... except maybe for her.

A/N: A pointless Halloween fic

A/N2: For Day 28 of @choicesoctoberchallenge2020​. The prompt is “Costume”.

1. Intern Year

Ethan resisted a groan as an atrocious, remixed version of The Monster Mash blared through the speakers, eliciting a cheer from the drunken crowd. Characteristically, he pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut as he wondered why he decided to venture out on the worst night of the year. Perhaps he needed a drink that badly after another full day of dealing with interns.  

“Time for a refill, Dr. Ramsey,” a voice said over the music.

Ethan hated the way his pulse quickened at the sound.

Doing his best to appear collected, he shot what he hoped was an impassive glance at the figure now standing beside him at the bar, the floral notes of her perfume already caressing his every sense. One single glance at her, however, was enough to shoot all efforts of appearing aloof straight to hell.

She leaned casually against the bar, clad in a sensuous, forest green number that molded to every curve of her body and ensnared every bit of his attention. Dark green leaves embellished every surface of the sinfully short dress, tapering off into delicate, curly vines along her exposed shoulders and arms. Her glossy, dark hair was hidden away beneath a cascade of long, auburn waves that made her eyes appear greener still.

“Wig,” she explained with a small laugh when Ethan continued to stare.

At last, he pried his eyes away, feeling his neck flare with heat. Unsure of what else to say, he feigned indifference as he asked, “And what are you supposed to be, Rookie?”

Aside from fucking irresistible, his idiotic, addled brain added on impulse.

He could see Lilac's jaw go slack in a way that was almost comical but somehow managed to be entirely too adorable.

“You're kidding, right? I'm Poison Ivy.”

Ethan had known that. He had been, after all, a comic-book obsessed teenager once. If someone had told him back then that he would one day witness the sexiest version of the character imaginable, his head would have caved in on itself. Adult Ethan, it seemed, was no better because his eyes fell on her once again, unable to resist her magnetic pull.

Lilac, however, was too busy looking at the dancefloor. She nodded toward her group of friends, dancing, laughing, and contributing to half of the noise in the bar.

“We were all supposed to be Batman villains but Bryce and Landry got lazy. They put on a Thing One and Thing Two shirt and called it a day.”

Ethan followed her gaze to where the young surgeon had peeled off the aforementioned shirt, relishing in the attention that decision was earning him from a gaggle of girls nearby. The other one Lilac had mentioned stood awkwardly off to the side, too pale and and gangly to ever be Lahela's counterpart.

“More like tweedle dee and tweedle dum,” he muttered.

Lilac met his eyes at once and to his delight, she laughed, the sound sending his stomach into a dive. It was already maddening enough that the sound was entirely too attractive, but Ethan felt a swelling sense of satisfaction at being the one to inspire it.

When she sobered up, her green eyes remained on his, humor melting into a pensive expression. She continued to watch him with the conviction of someone discovering a new secret. He would have given anything to know what she was thinking at that very moment.

“What about you?”

“Hmm?”

He had been distracted by her full lips and by how fitting the damn costume was. Much like every weak-willed man in his comic books, Ethan would have risked absolutely everything to kiss her.

“No costume?”

“God no,” he spat, inspiring another little laugh.

“Never say never,” she told him in a sing-song voice.

“I can confidently say never.”

______________

2. A year later.

They paused outside the door to Bryce's apartment, the muffled sound of music and laughter making its way to the hall. Ethan briefly wondered if his neighbors would complain enough to derail the whole affair. It would mean he could go back to the peace and quiet of his home.

As if reading his mind, Lilac turned to face him, a knowing smile pulling at her lips. God, he loved it when she looked at him that way.

“You're not getting out of this,” she reminded him, her fingers moving to play with the orange Ascot tie she had forced him to wear.

“We're well into November. There was no need to dress up.”

As usual, Lilac rolled her eyes lovingly.

“It's hardly dressing up when all we did was put you in a white sweater you already owned, babe,” she explained for the hundredth time. Ethan tried to scowl at the pet name, but he was beginning to enjoy it. Instead, he relaxed into her touch, trying his best not to follow the lazy path her fingers made on his chest. “You wouldn't even wear a wig, so it doesn't count. As for the party being this late, it was the only night we all had off. And we'll be damned before we let a whole year pass us by without dressing up.”

She finalized that sentence with a searing kiss to his neck. His hands banded around her waist reflexively, pulling her soft body flush against his. In their time together, he had avidly learned the many ways to drive her just as crazy.

“You and I can still dress up,” he murmured darkly against her ear.

Lilac shivered, to his immense delight.

“Are you suggesting role play, Dr. Ramsey,” she returned in a poor attempt to mock him.

The formal mode of address, uttered in a low, breathy voice against his ear, made his blood buzz for her. More maddening still was the short, purple dress she wore along with the auburn wig that made a reappearance after a year.

“Got a thing for redheads?” she asked, correctly guessing the contents of his thoughts yet again.

Ethan smiled crookedly down at her. “I got a thing for you.”

The words rang with sincerity and an overwhelming sense of relief at finally being able to say them out loud, without any fear of consequences.

Lilac, for her part, looked as though she wanted to shove him against the wall and kiss him fiercely, but the erupting cheers from inside the apartment interrupted their exchange from advancing further.

“Mystery Gang in the house!” Bryce, dressed as a pirate, hollered as soon as they walked through the door. Everyone else cheered and hooted, the sounds no doubt fueled by the contents of the many red solo cups around the room.

“You guys look adorable!” Sienna commended over the music, greeting each of them with a friendly hug. “Fred and Daphne makes so much sense for you two.”

“Because we solve mysteries for a living?” Ethan asked, voice deadpan.

“Nah, because those two were a thing long before any of the others found out,” Elijah said as he joined them.

Lilac laughed out loud, the sound teetering on the edges of relief. She had been nervous, just like Ethan had been, that her friends would be awkward around them now that they knew of their relationship.

By the way they easily joked with him and included him in conversation throughout the night, their concerns had been for nothing. They even helped Lilac pressure him into dancing a modern pop song he had heard many times on the radio. Not that he needed much convincing when he would gladly do anything just to see her radiant smile directed his way.

By midnight, the party had dwindled down to drinks and board games. There was a raucous consensus to play Clue, which caused Bryce to roll his eyes.

“Of course the diagnosticians want to play the nerdiest game.”

Ethan rolled up his sleeves in preparation, which earned him a coy and borderline lustful look from Lilac. “You're just bitter that we're playing something other than beer pong, scalpel jockey.”

Elijah let out a surprised yet impressed laugh, wasting no time to high five Ethan. Even Bryce couldn't help but grin.

“Trash talk all you want, old man. I'm more than just a pretty face.”

When it came to Clue, however, Bryce had no chance against Ethan, who analyzed every player with sharp precision and correctly guessed the murderer, the room, and the weapon. Several games later, Ethan easily proved victorious while Bryce only laughed graciously, raising his palms up in defeat.

When even the board games ebbed into quiet conversation at the end of the night, Lilac sat on his lap, circling her arms around his neck. They sat like that for minutes, enjoying the nuances of being that annoyingly cute couple at a party.

“Thank you for dressing up for me,” she said as she pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Even that sent his heart into a tumultuous rhythm.

“Only for you,” he murmured. “And as a one time deal only.”

______________

3. Many years later.

Ethan plastered the fur-lined hat on his head, a perfect complement to the fur-lined everything else he was currently wearing. Luckily, fall time in Boston was cold enough that the ensemble would prove to be practical as they walked the streets. He stepped into the hallway, not bothering to check his reflection. There was no doubt he looked utterly ridiculous.

But he didn't care.

He would do anything for her and for the unbridled joy in the eyes he loved so much.

Lilac was already waiting when he entered the living room, her smile impossibly wide as she glanced him over. It was the exact reaction he expected and he couldn't help but grin too.

“Is this how it's supposed to look?”

“Yes!” she all but shrieked in delight. The magenta cape of her costume fluttered behind her as she rushed to him, her body crashing against him in an overjoyed hug. “I love you so much for doing this.”

The words still sent a thrill through Ethan, as strong as the first time he heard them. Heart thundering wildly at his chest, he leaned down to kiss her, just because he could.

When they pulled apart, she watched him through half-closed eyes, her teeth catching her lush bottom lip. All Ethan wanted to do was carry her to their bed and tear off the costumes they had spent so much time perfecting. Inwardly, he marveled at how everything had changed over the years, but there were some things that remained the same.

Instead, he captured one of her plaits between his fingers. “These people we're dressed up as,” he started, gently trailing the ridges of her braid. Lilac watched him, captivated by his every word. “Do they end up together?”

She allowed a laugh. “We've watched nothing but that movie for a week straight.”

Ethan shrugged, allowing a sheepish grin. “I tune it out thirty minutes in every time.”

More laughter and Ethan decided then that he could hear the sound forever and not get enough.

“Don't let Dolores hear you say that,” she warned with one final kiss. She moved to break apart from their embrace but he stopped her.

His wife looked at him expectantly and Ethan frowned, suddenly doubtful.

“Do you think she'll like it?”

Lilac's curious expression melted into a fond smile. “She's going to love it,” she assured him, leaning in to press a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose.

Not surprisingly, Lilac had been right because moments later, a delighted shriek of laughter announced the arrival of their toddler daughter. Her godmother trailed close behind, crouching over in an attempt to fix the blue tulle that trailed along the floor as the child ran towards her father. It was futile and Sienna sighed in defeat, shooting Lilac an amused look.

“It's pointless,” Sienna laughed. “There's no stopping little Lolly when she sees her father.”

Proving that point, his daughter flung herself into Ethan's arms and cried, “Dada!”

“Hello, princess,” Ethan laughed as she pressed her version of a kiss on his cheek.

“I'm Elsa,” Dolores corrected sagely.

“Yes, babe,” Lilac added with mock seriousness. “You are in the presence of Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Have some respect.”

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” Ethan said to his daughter with such formality that the child laughed. Sienna watched the exchange with a watery smile, failing to repress a squeal.

A loud roar coming from the threshold informed them that their son had joined them. Sienna laughed as Jonah ran around the room, the antlers of his costume bobbing wildly as he moved. At last, he stopped right before Lilac, who picked him up in her arms.

“I didn't know reindeers roared,” she laughed, swaying her son in her arms.

Jonah roared again to demonstrate that reindeers could indeed roar formidably, at least when impersonated by a five year old. “I'm a Halloween reindeer,” he explained. “He roars to be spooky, but just for today.”

The adults laughed. “You're a good big brother, Jonah,” Lilac informed him with a kiss, closely followed by a tickle.

“Lolly wanted to be Elsa so bad so I wanted to help,” their son said through a giggle, as though it was the most obvious explanation in the world.

It was for Ethan.

As Sienna ushered them together for a picture, Ethan looked at his family, everyone smiling radiantly and far more beautifully than the moon itself. Little Dolores clung to him, laughing and looking happier than he had ever seen her.

His wife caught his eye and shot him a knowing but proud smile. Ethan knew she was remembering the cynical, jaded version of himself who had confidently proclaimed he would never do this.

Ethan had never been happier to be proven wrong.

______________

A/N: I HC they name their daughter after Dolores and nickname her Lola/ Lolly

Once upon a time I used to write for another pairing who canonically dies on Halloween. You have no idea how happy I am to write for a pairing who’s alive and well lol.

Thank you so much for reading! I love these time hop fics so much. I wrote another one for Ethan x MC a long time ago that I will publish on my birthday in November :)

Finally, Chapter 10 of the Pictagram is coming soon. It might be two parts... Yikes. Thanks for waiting so patiently for it! Life has been crazy over here

_______________

tags: @openheart12​​​ , @takeharryandgo​​​ , @trappedinfanfiction​​​, @aestheticartsx​​​, @aworldoffandoms​​​, @paulfwesley​​​, @myusualnerdyself​​​,  @rookie-ramsey​​​, @ohchoices​​​, @colossalpainintheass​​​, @enmchoices​​​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​​​, @choicesfanaf​​​, @openheartthot​​​, @octobereighth​​​, @nazarihoe​​​, @utterlyinevitable​​​, @kites-in-our-skies​​​, @maurine07​​​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​​​, @doilooklikeiknow​​​, @snesdudes​​​, @kingliam2019​​​, @perriewinklenerdie​​​, @cinnamonspongecake​​​, @choicesstan1​​​, @queencarb​​​, @ethxnrxmsey​​​, @missmiimiie​​​, @jens-diamondchoices​​​, @adamsdumortain​​​, @apphia12​​​, @kalogh​​​, @lucy-268​​​, @binny1985​​​, @queenbirbs​​​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​​​, @newcolonies​​​, @lilyvalentine​​​, @rigatonireid​​​, @interobanginyourmom​​​, @parkerattano​​​, @custaroonie​​​​, @nikki-2406​​​​, @lilypills​​​​, @chasingrobbie​​​​, @nooruleman​​​​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​​​​, @ruinedbypixels​​​​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​​​​, @tsrookie​​​​, @mvalentine​​​​, @professorkingslay​​​​, @drakewalkerfantasy​​​​, @casey-v​​​​, @helloblueeyedcat​​​​, @mysticaurathings​​​​, @blossomanarchy​​​​, @thegreentwin​​​​, @togetherwearerapture​​​​, @rookieoh​​​​, @ramseysno1rookie​​​​, @rookiemarsswiftie​​​​, @natashajaniphil​​​​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​​​​, @hatescapsicum​​​​, @choices-lurker​​​​, @kiara-36​​​​, @junehiratas​​​​, @danijimenezv​​​​, @macy-ray85​​​​, @adrex04​​​​, @canigetanawwjunk​​​​, @sanchita012​​​​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​​​​ , @scorpiochick8​​​​, @skylarklyon​​​​, @starrystarrytrouble​​​​, @mercury84choices​​​​, @drariellevalentine​​​​, @ethanrcmsey​​​​, @lion-ess24, @aarisa-frost​​​​, @kaavyaethanramsey​​​​ , @udishaman​​​​, @a-crepusculo​​, @quacksonlover​​

[honeysorwell]

(a very unprofessional) game changer

Pairing: Audrey Tidall x fem!Reader x Diane Sherman

Summary: Audrey Tidall ends up conquering the role of the protagonist in the expected film that marks the great director and screenwriter Diane Sherman return to the film market, Run, that the blonde one desired really much. The filmmaker has only managed to return now since she left her job almost twenty years ago to take care of her daughter. She has no real plans other than finishing the film that will mark her return, but her nonpeaceful coexistence with Audrey during the filming, along with the loneliness that consumes her personal life ends up instigating an unexpected affection - and that grows every day - for Y/N, the costume designer for Run.

What Diane did not expect, when giving Y/N anonymously flowers during the recording months, is that the costume designer has been in a secret relationship for more than months with Audrey. However, the feeling of indifference and disdain that the director feels for the actress gradually dies after a heated argument between the two, leaving an unnamed tension in the air, while Y/N searches for her secret admirer with her girlfriend.

[gif by @sapphiclesbian​ ]

[gif by @cherry-jimin] 

A/N: I was extremely surprised when I posted You rush into my life, stay a little while (I know that we can have it all), and in less than a month I got +50likes (after all I barely know how to use tumblr and I discovered these days how and where to look at the followers that I have lol). And thanks to that, I will use (a very unprofessional) game changer as a social experiment, to see if you guys really like what I write, and if the answer is also positive, I will open requests to write things in my free time. And yes, my first language is not English so maybe something might sound strange.

I had this idea as soon as Run was released, thanks to Diane's passion for films... And since Audrey is an actress, I thought it would be good to combine these two...

I can say that this is a big AU because Diane is a lovely mother, and no one from Roanoke dies (because I don't have time to develop any of this shit).

Hope you all like it!

Synopsis of the story + Chapter 1 ,  Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 , Chapter 9 , Chapter 10 (final one)

Chapter 1

Chapter’s summary: Audrey and Y/N get to know each other thanks to Diane, and even though they are about to start recording Run, they decide that it is worthwhile to continue with their relationship. Even if secretly.

Warnings: In this chapter at least, none. Just implicit mentions of smut, it's not really something!  

Word Count: 1,2k

In theory, when someone wins an award as important as The Saturn, their career between movies becomes more likely to invitations to productions. Films, miniseries, or even theatrical productions. But that didn't happen with Audrey.

There was a voice in her head that said it was thanks to her age. But since none of the actors in Roanoke's cast, especially women, were so different in this aspect, Audrey continued to ignore that voice.

Everything was relatively ready for the British woman to participate in Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell, however after her breakup with Rory, the blonde one preferred to focus on something new. She quickly fell in love with him, but when the red-haired man asked about marriage, everything was clear to Audrey. Their paths and thoughts were so different, even with the significant feeling between them, that it was better to break their love relationship before their friendship was affected. And this was what she did.

It was audacious. Refuse a proposal for the same program that gave her fame and awards, to audition for a new film that she barely knew would happen. Some people would call her crazy, but the email she received from her agent was enough to give her courage.

Or rather, four words from that email. Directed by Diane Sherman was what caught her attention and prompted her to try to venture out to take the test.

She can still remember. Years ago, while she was still fighting for a minor role in any theatrical production in England, Diane Sherman was already acclaimed worldwide for the grandiose films with unexpected endings that she produced, even at a young age.

All the films of the woman with a reddish tone between her brunette hair strands became hits. But in the midst of it all, Diane decided to take a break from her career, and less than five months later, a pregnancy was announced.

After that, twenty years passed and no film was released, no interview, no magazine cover. Such a gloriously famous woman disappeared from everyone's view with her baby. But only up to now.

That test was probably the one that tired Audrey the most in her entire career. To portray in a few minutes the pain of the life of a woman who is obsessed with her daughter to the point of making her sick was difficult. But she did, and so, while her former co-stars were locking themselves up in a seemingly haunted mansion, she was getting a call from her agent saying that she got the lead role.

Everything worked well when the blonde received her script and started working with Diane on how they would like this character to be seen by the audience, but as the conversations flowed, Audrey understood why all of the woman's films were such a success. She was a perfectionist and her authority was clear.

Everything needed to be perfect. Including the costume.

And so Audrey met Y/N. A beautiful costume designer with so much talent to spare to the world.

The first time they saw each other, Diane was not present, after all, it was just a date to take Audrey's body measurements. As the story was about a housewife, movable and comfortable clothes had to be designed, which did not force Audrey to strip naked to have her measurements known by Y/N, even if an unprofessional part of her wanted to.

Quick encounters followed, some with Diane briefly present, just to define new color palettes or to approve and disapprove something. The director never stayed more than twenty minutes with the two women, but thanks to Y/N's perseverance, in producing everything exactly as Diane wished, and Audrey's free time, due to her mind being ease in memorizing lines and just a few friendships outside England, the two woman became relatively close.

When the costumes were all designed and in the final process of being made, Diane decided that she would like Audrey's hair to be longer. Some wig tests took place, but a joint decision was made.

The film would be postponed in five months from there, so that the blonde's hair would grow.

It was frustrating, to say the least, and maybe that was the trigger for Audrey's disapproval with Diane, but one thing was good. The time now acquired has started to be spent on Y/N.

Always at discreet lunches or afternoon teas in their homes...

Y/N thinks it might be extremely inappropriate and absolutely unprofessional to get personally involved with a co-worker, even outside the set, and even though their work on Diane's film was relatively distant. But, after many glasses of wine and random conversations, nothing made more sense to Y/N than Audrey's lips against hers.

A one-night stand. That was what they thought they were born to be. But the skin on Audrey's stomach was so smooth that Y/N didn't know if she wanted to kiss her until she moaned or laughed, confused as she tried to understand which one of the sounds was the actual responsible for her heart beating faster.

A one-night stand. Because Audrey didn't feel ready to start a relationship after such a recent breakup. But there was nothing more beautiful than Y/N's face full of pleasure while she was being touched, or her face concentrated on redoing a crooked seam, even if she was the only one that noticed the defect in the piece.

A one-night stand. That turned into two, three, ten, thirty... and when they noticed, Audrey's hair was long enough for the film to start recording and their mind was unconsciously bought each other's favorite foods at the supermarket.

And on one of those nights, when they were both lying on Y/N's bed and Audrey was drawing imaginary flowers on the bare skin of her right hip, a whisper escaped the actresses lips:

"I don't want this to end because we are going to work together... Does that make me unprofessional?", The moment the question escapes her lips, she raises her face towards Y/N and looks deeply into her eyes.

"Well ...", the costume designer starts and stops, distracted by the beauty of Audrey's brown eyes and a lock of her hair - now longer - that is hindering the Y/N view of the blonde's cheeks, but that soon puts the hair strands behind her ear and continues - "Count me in because I don't want this to end either..."

It is a smile so beautiful that it takes hold of Audrey's lips, that the courage to take possession of Y / N's body and one more phrase escapes her lips.

"I think I'm in love with you."

The word think sounds so low, it's like it's not even there. Because Y/N's mind knows that she is sure, even scared and that is why Y/N's eyes focus on the whole room, except the face in front of her. Until delicate fingers touch her chin and direct her to see brown eyes bathed in tears, amid the same glorious smile of seconds ago.

"And I don't know how you didn't notice that I fell in love with you too."

And so they come to an agreement. Nothing will be explicit while they are on set. At work, they will be just friends, close friends if the distance wraps their stomachs, but still, just friends.

For the sake of their reputations, their jobs, and the Diane Sherman film they will be just friends.

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 18

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 8,466

WARNINGS: ANGST?, Vivid Murder Scenes, Cursing, “Fluff”

Summary: It’s been three months since Aliena was hired by Cassie’s father, Dom to be an assassin. Now she has to juggle her side job, a social life, and her main job. How will take take a toll?

MASTERLIST   CHAPTER 17  CHAPTER 19

A/N: So, if you’ve haven’t realized by now. Things are starting to get “bloodier”/ more violent. SEASON 2 STARTS NEXT CHAPTER!! I think I started this story this June or July, so this story isn’t even a year old yet. It sure feels like it! Well, Happy Holidays everyone and let’s hope 2021 is a better year.

The smell, oh, the smell was pungunt. 

The scent of overwhelming iron surrounded me.

My hands were covered in it. The mixture of fresh red and dried reddish-brown made the color of my skin unrecognizable.  

With wobbly legs, I made my way into the barren street. There was this continuous burn from overexertion in my thighs. The night breeze blew my hair around me and into my view.

With confident strides, I made my way to the kitchen counter. The air was humid from the oven and I was attempting to reach my destination in a timely manner, so that I can wash away this stickiness for my hands.

Then a loud whiz...passed by my ear/breezed passed me.

I sighed deeply before pivoting toward the direction of the bullet. 

I exclaimed in surprise as John's children ran around the kitchen, passing me by with enough speed that caused me to be concerned.

I bent down, reached for my gun, and fired at the person.

I shouted at them, “Guys, get out of the kitchen and play in the living room! I don’t want youse gettin’ hurt.”

With my grip firmly around the collar of the unknown man, I drew back my fist and punched him over and over again. Daylight blinded me, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was making sure this man didn’t get back up.

With the back of my hand, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and kneaded the dough over and over again. Then, Ada came in, scolded me for doing more work than necessary, and passed me the rolling pin.

A new day and I was staring out a window, the man had an arm wrapped around my throat. Even though I was in a chokehold— I wasn’t worried. The wind that rattled the leaves of the tree outside was visually pleasing. I extended my arm and then drove my elbow into his ribs. He loosened his hold around my neck, I gripped his arm, and threw him to the ground. Without hesitation, I grasped my gun from my thigh holster and fired. 

I carefully placed the rolled out dough on the platter and started smoothing it out with my fingers. 

Killing is more work than I thought, but I didn't mind it. I held it in par with making this cherry pie. 

I dusted my hands off before wiping them on my apron for good measure. 

I wiped the blood on my hands on the guy's own face. Not like he could care. Stabbing someone without stopping would take feelings like discomfort away.

I bent down and shoved it in the oven. 

I bent down as I dodged a right hook. I sprang back up and returned the favor. I grabbed the stunned man, quickly elbowed him in the face, and flipped him on his back. While still having a grip on his arm, I snapped it, dropped it as he screamed in pain, and then put a bullet between his eyes. 

I watched as the life drained from his eyes. 

I watched as the pie, slowly, began to brown.

Another day, another “mission.” I can’t tell you how many people I’ve killed since I’ve began in May. Three months have past, and I have to admit— it felt like I was completing a job every other day. I know I’m exhausted, but this thrill—! It was like a drug and I’m an addict. 

The burning in my lungs hardly bothered me anymore as I was chasing down my latest target. He sniffed me out. Paranoid, he was, just like it said on the profile. He was just quicker than me. Noticed when I was pulling out my gun. The squirrely bastard!

I need to get this done quickly ‘cause I have to make another pie for Ada. She wanted one for her family ‘n said mine tasted too good to get one bought. I sympathized with her given her situation, and caved. Freddie was getting worse, no sign of getter any better. Despite that, he was still up and about. 

I stopped running, stilled my body, steadied my gun, and fired. He crouched, flailing his hands in the air while crying out in fear. I groaned in frustration, my cheeks puffing out. The chase resumed. 

It didn’t take long ‘til we were running across the hills. I noticed that his pace slowed and I decided to slow down with him. He was still running while I was speed walking. More like marching because of the steepness. I fired again and he fell to the ground.

Not a millisecond later, he was wailing loudly. Meaning, he was still alive. I rolled my eyes and marched right up to him. He was cradling his leg, blood seeping through his hands. 

“God, you fucking bastard. Why’d you have to run?” I moaned. I let out a loud exhale, as I tipped my head back, and shook my arms. 

He stuttered. “Please! Please don’t kill me!” 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I felt disgusted by his actions. I mean what kind of person do you have to be to get a mark on you, and then snivel like a little baby. It’s not just him. There’s been like six other guys who've had the same reaction. Oh, and two women.

Women targets don’t happen often. I’ve only received four orders to take out a woman. So far…

“You see. I might have had some mercy if you hadn’t fucking ran!” I said mockingly. 

“Oh, god! Someone! Someone help me!” 

I widened my eyes and began shaking my head. I took a deep breath and picked up my head. “Help! Somebody help him!” I shouted. I looked back at him and shook my head. “Nobody is out here, William.” 

“Please.” He stuttered again. “I have children.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “And…”

“I-! I have to look after them.” He cried out.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Why should I care?”

He shook his head. “No! No!” He held up his blood soaked hands, covering his face while scurrying back.

I just watched him with a blank stare. 

Then, he stilled and said. “Wait, wait! I have money!” He swallowed harshly. “I can give you money. I have… a lot of money.”

I prodded my cheek with my tongue before I asked. “How much?” I raised my eyebrow while lowering my gun.

He stammered for words. “200 pounds. No! 400!” 

I dramatically blinked and waivered the aim of my gun. I was getting 23,500 for this guy! ‘I’ma fuck with him.’ I thought.

I smiled and said. “Alright, let’s go get it.” 

I saw his face contort in relief. “Really?” He shouted.

I nodded, still smiling.

He struggled to get to his feet, and once he did— he glanced down at my gun.

I let out a little “oh” and pretended to tuck in the back of my pants. “You first.” I motioned him with my free hand, and watched as he hobbled past me.

I let him walk a few more steps until I felt like it was time to stop playing. I raised  my gun again and pulled the trigger. My head cocked slightly to the side as I watched his body fall to the ground. 

I sighed audibly and walked over to the body. I kicked him to face upwards and crouched down. I stared at his figure. A bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Eyes open. He was kind of handsome. 

“What a waste.” I muttered to myself. I rose back up and tucked my gun in the back of my pants. I took the guy’s coat off and laid him on top of it then used it to pull his body back to the car. It wasn’t my car. It was his. Dude thought that he was getting lucky tonight.

I posed as an upper class citizen at some horse meeting event. I wore a blonde wig and some equestrian clothing. I acted posh and nobody noticed a thing. This man liked his women on the bossy side and that’s what I gave him.

Anyway, I had to get to the nearest payphone to tell Dom that the job was done. He would send someone to get rid of the body along with my payment. Then, I would get a ride back home.

And that’s exactly what happened.

I was stitching up a jacket of Finn’s while watching my pie bake. I can’t express how tired I am. I keep sticking myself with the needle, but… I needed to fix this up. Finn only has so many suit jackets and most of them were hand-me-downs.

My sleeping schedule was thoroughly fucked. The adrenaline from this morning's events was wearing off and that meant exhaustion was going to take over soon. 

 I covered my mouth as I yawned before I finally finished up the last stitch. I threw both the needle and the jacket on the table, and then rubbed my eyes violently. I rested my elbows on my knees as the palms of my hands were digging into my eyes. I wasn't causing myself any pain, but I was aware of the pressure it brought. 

I sniffed loudly before rising to my feet quickly, making the chair screech. I turned off the oven and then walked away. I read somewhere that if you leave your pie in the oven to cool down for around five minutes, then it does something to it. To this day, I don't know what it does. All that matters is that it lowers the risk of me getting burnt, and I have a few extra minutes to finish or start my next task. 

I walked back to the couch where I continued to fold clothes. I would have to deliver the boys' laundries to their respective homes. Tommy moved out as did Arthur. The family had enough money for it. The only people left in the main house were Polly, Finn, and myself. 

I didn't have time to adjust to the change. I'm just so tired by the time I walk into my room. The feeling of security Tommy brought with my knowledge he was just in the room over, was gone. My insomnia and paranoia would have acted up, but like I said- once I step into my bedroom, I practically black out. 

I moaned while dropping my arms and my head while closing my eyes, a shirt still in hand. I craved sleep so badly. I huffed as I quickly folded up the shirt and threw it into a pile.

The Shelby’s had no idea, to the best of my knowledge, that I was taking long breaks for well, my “missions.” I took every opportunity to do work outside of the shop, and even lied to them. Told them that I had a date or two. Sometimes they were even successful, and so far I’ve had two imaginary beaus. We always broke up, though. One was because the dude was boring, and the other because he said my heart wasn’t in.

The only reason I was allowed these “dates” is thanks to Polly. Tommy argued against letting me have them, but they had a private talk ‘n well… You know who won.

I marched over to the oven, put on my mitts, and pulled it out. I carefully removed it from the mold and onto a plate. Then, I covered it up with some napkins. Ada would pick it up when she dropped by, or Polly would use it as an excuse to go and see her. 

Speaking of Polly, I have to run and tell her that the bloody thing is done! I jogged into the shop and shuffled quickly over to Polly.

“Pol, Ada’s pie is done. I’ve left it on the counter.”

“All right, I’ll be taking it over to her flat when work is done.”

I nodded. “Well, I’m gonna get back to the laundry.”

She nodded. “Okay, love.”

I nodded one last time before marching back into the living room and began finishing up folding. I let my wander aimlessly as I did so. 

I recalled my latest kills and daydreamed about my stories. Some of them involved Tommy. He was always the anti-hero or the straight up villain. 

Also, since I have less time to myself— I’m not drawing, painting, or writing all that much. So, all of these plotlines are just in my head. They get so scrambled ‘n loud ‘cause I don’t have music to really express them. 

I heaved a sigh as I threw the last pair of pants onto a pile. I sorted the piles into their respective baskets, threw on a coat, and then began my journey. John’s house was first. I didn’t do his laundry all the time. However, this was one of the rare times that Esme wanted me to work for the family again. 

It would irritate me so much that she was practically working at the betting shop full time with John and would leave the kids running around at all hours, but now— I had my hands full. It would seem Katie is back to being a mum to her younger siblings. 

When Katie opened the door for me, I was bombarded in kisses and hugs. It really did make my heart swell. I stayed for a chat ‘n then left. I still had to deliver Arthur and Tommy’s laundry. And cook dinner as well! For both Tom and the main house! 

You’d think with how exhausted I am that I would just make the scran and scurry off to my room, but my body wouldn’t let me. I’d rather eat and it tastes like nothing than go to bed with an aching, empty stomach. 

John lived in the opposite direction of his brothers which made the walk longer and my annoyance grow with each step. I tried taking calming breaths, but— that almost never works. 

I knew he wouldn’t be home, but I knocked out of courtesy ‘n waited outside for like ten seconds. I put the basket down, scrambled to get the key to his flat, unlocked the door, and slid his basket in. I locked back up, picked up Tommy’s basket, and then went on my way.

I let out a big yawn as I walked. I covered it with my hand as best as I could. Didn’t want to be seen as improper! Believe me, I wish I wasn’t self-conscious about when I yawn, but there’s trauma behind it. 

Teachers should really mind their language when correcting a child that isn’t theirs. God, it infuriates me even now the way I was treated. They had no right doing what they did. Saying what they did!

I rolled my eyes and felt my annoyance rise along with the presence of a headache. I grumbled under my breath.

‘Idiot, now you’ve gone and given yourself a headache!’ I thought as I began to quicken my pace. 

I knocked at Tommy’s door, again out of courtesy. I knew he wasn’t home. I grabbed his key, unlocked the door, and walked right in. I ran up the stairs and into his room where I set his basket down on the bedroom bench. I dusted my hands and hurried down the stairs. My breasts bounced as I did so. 

Look, I was just painfully aware that they did so as I made my way down, okay?

I walked right to the kitchen and checked his refrigerator. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that he had eaten the dinner I had prepared for him the night before. 

It meant that I didn’t have to throw out good food. 

I studied the ingredients in his fridge, that I jam packed, and settled on fish and chips. I took out the ready-made fish cuts, grabbed a bowl, filled it with hot water, and then set the cuts in there to defrost. I left the hot water running. I grabbed a couple of potatoes, washed them, and then began peeling. 

It would take me quite a while to get this done. And, I was expected to make dinner at the other house too!

God, I want to go to sleep! 

A whine slipped out as I stomped my foot. 

What we do for things we want to do, eh?

By the time I was done cooking, the sun was down ‘n my stomach was attacking itself. I sighed heavily as I used the tongs to place the chips on his plate. I twirled around to place the pan back on the stove, wiped my hands on a napkin, and then grabbed the salt shaker. I turned back and sprinkled some more salt on the chips. Then I stood there. I stood there and looked at the meal I made for a man who might not even eat it. 

I bit my lip and started wringing my hands tightly. After a grueling, ‘should I, should I not,’ I sat down in front of the meal abruptly and dug in. I don’t know why, but the meal tasted so much more flavorful than usual. I haven’t had fish and chips in ages, but it wasn’t that. Maybe it was the exhaustion or the fact that I made this meal in mind of another person, but the flavors just popped. 

I’m just glad that my serving sizes reflected my mother’s. Which basically meant that I cooked enough food for, at most, another two servings. When I finished eating, I washed it all down with a cup of water then I had to plate again, and wash the plate I ate from. 

When it was all said ‘n done, I made a beeline for the couch and flopped down on it. I grunted from the impact and groaned even louder. Everything ached!

I flipped ‘round, kicked off my heels, and let my hair down. I carelessly threw the pins on the little table next to me, and brought my knees to my chest. I tucked a couch pillow between my head and arm, the hand of this arm would be tucked under the pillow as my arm would rest on top of that one. Basically, the fetal sleeping position with a hand tucked under the pillow. 

This was usually the only way I could go to sleep.

I let my eyes flutter shut and made a promise. ‘Just for a few minutes.’

“Ali.”

…

“Ali!”

I sat up with a sharp gasp. My heart was poundin’ out of my chest. It felt like a panic attack. I looked up at Tommy, who was standing over me. 

“Have a nice nap, Ali?”

I just focused on getting my heart rate down.

While rolling a ciggie across his bottom lip, he asked. “There a reason why you’d be so tired? Who was it that you’re dating now? Brian? Henry? No, James! That’s his name.” His tone sounded so sarcastic that I found it to be cruel. 

It felt like he was judging me.

I scoffed as I rubbed my eyes. “His name was Joseph and we broke up like a week ago.” I watched him sit down, his elbows resting on his knees. “You know what, why do you even care?” 

I couldn’t even get my point across as he interrupted me with a sharp scoff. He took a short drag before saying, “If it affects your ability to do your job, then yes, Aliena. I care.”

I averted my eyes and replied through a semi-hidden pout. “But it hasn’t affected my job.”

“What else do you call this nap?”

My head snapped toward him and I threw him a look of pure confusion. “I was tired, Tom! Why else does one take a fucking nap?”

“Why would you be tired?”

I raised an eyebrow as I scoffed. “I had-! I didn’t sleep last night, okay! I-I’m…” I groaned as I threw myself back against the couch ‘n threw an arm over my eyes. 

It was a big lie. I was asleep for like three hours! I had to get everything ready and exercise in preparation for today’s target. Time passed quickly and before you know it I had to make breakfast ‘n then work in the shop for a little.

I knew I won this little squabble when I heard a sigh. I barely managed to register it by the way, but I heard it, nonetheless. 

“Right, well. Today it’s your insomnia, but tomorrow it can be because of something else.”

I squinted my eyes as I tried to decipher what the fuck he just said to me.

“Perhaps, it would be best if you put off dating for a while. Seems like you’re having bad luck as it is. Focus more on your job.” He heaved as he rose to his feet and began walking to the kitchen.

It was like his words finally registered as I rushed to my feet and shouted after him. “Hey, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing is up with me, Aliena.” He replied as he was pulling out his chair and sat down.

I noticed that he hadn’t poured himself anything to drink. I groaned loudly raising my arms as I did so, and marched back into the living room. “Yes, there is!” I shouted. “You’ve got a cob on ‘n you’re taking it out on me.” I poured him some whiskey and walked back to the kitchen. “You know what, you’ve been cross abar me goin’ on dates from the beginning! Why? You and the rest of the family were beggin’ me to find a fella ‘n now— what? You’ve had a change of heart.” 

I slammed the whiskey down in front of him. I placed my hands on my hips and asked teasingly, a smile on my face as well. “Do you not like the idea of losing me, Tommy? Is that it? Afraid I’m going to be whisked away by some fella? Or! Do you want me to be more independent? Thinkin’ more modernly, lately, or what?”

Tommy had raised the glass to his lips, but set it back down by the time I was done talking. He gave me this deadpan stare that did not help my giggling. 

We continued to stare at each other. While he was donning an emotionless expression, my dumb-arse was flinching up a storm. Whether it was twitches from my head or my hands. Plus the incessant laughing and ever changing facial expressions. Eventually, when my face and stomach began to hurt— I nipped my bottom lip harshly and took a deep breath.

It was then that I noticed that his jaw was clenched. I couldn’t figure out why for the life of me. I averted my eyes and took a seat. My eyes kept drifting back to Tom as I waited for him to say something, but he just kept his stoic expression for a while more. Tommy sniffed and cleared his throat as he removed the napkin covering his food, and took his utensils into his hands. 

I wanted to scoff, but something was telling me that he didn’t say anything for a reason. 

‘Maybe he refrained from humiliating me?’ I thought, trying to rationalize his behavior.

I took a deep breath before saying, “Well, fine, Tom. You win. I’ll lay off the scene for a while.” I crossed my legs and pulled my dress down. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hand. 

Tommy took a swig of whiskey before he said. “Polly rang and said that you didn’t have to worry about making dinner. Said that you looked pale when you came back from your break this evening, and that she had a suspicion you would doze off at one of our flats.” 

I chuckled as I drummed my fingers on the table. “Am I that predictable?”

Tommy looked me in the eyes and said. “Yes, you are.” 

I sat up straight, my smile falling from my face. 

Silence enveloped us, and I felt the urge to run and cry in more room grow by the second. I cleared my throat and rose to my feet. “Well, I better be heading back. Good night, Tommy.” I turned around and began making my way to the entrance.

However, I didn’t get ten steps in before Tommy called after me. “Wait!” His chair scraped along the tile loudly behind me.

I stopped where I stood and slowly faced him. His head was hanging and he was holding himself up by his arms. 

Tommy looked up at me and tsked. “Stay. … For a little while more.” 

I scrunched my eyebrows. “Did you need something, Tommy?”

He breathily replied. “No. Just. Want you to stay a little while more.” He hung his head again by the end of his words.

I gave him a small smile. “Okay, then. I’ll stay.” I walked back over to the chair and sat back down. As did he. 

I figured he wouldn’t like me just watching him as he ate, so I resorted to talking to him about my days. Just like old times.

I guess I managed to loosen him up a bit because he brazenly began to ask me about my romances. I, of course, told him the exact same things I’ve told Polly. To the T. I couldn’t afford to add on since they probably talk about this with each other, as they did with everything else.  

I managed to make him laugh twice. And, of course, it was at my expense. Bastard.

I noticed that Tom was done eating, so I rose to my feet while reaching for his empty plate. “All done, Tom?” I asked as I walked around the table and to the sink.

He let out a quick, “Yeah.” 

So, I cleaned the dish. There was a short comfortable silence before Tommy stood beside me ‘n cleared his throat. I wiped the plate dry while glancing at him through my peripherals.

Tommy took an audible breath before asking, “How is Freddie?”

I averted my eyes at the question. I sniffed. “He’s… He’s not getting better, Tom.”

Tom took the plate from my hands, which made me stare up at him. Emotionless, he was. “Tom…”

He cut me off, asking, “Has Ada told you anything? Or have you heard about his condition from the doctor?” 

I swallowed as I watched him put away the plate in the cupboard. “They, uh…” God, I was awful at this. And because I was talking so much, my fatigue was up again. “The doctor said that Freddie has a more severe case of the disease, and that he has anywhere from six months to a few years. Can’t tell, he said.” I crossed my arms and hugged myself. I muttered. “Said you can never know with tuberculosis.”

Slowly, Tommy leaned on the sink. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack. He looked vulnerable and… heartbroken. It broke my heart to see him like this.

Before I could even utter a word of my sympathies, I was being pulled into his arms. His breath was tickling my neck, so I had to bite my tongue harshly to prevent myself from giggling. 

The last time he was like this, he found out that Grace had been the traitor. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting Tom to be so affected by Freddie’s illness. The two had just been so cross with each other that the fact they used to be best friends completely went over my head. They were childhood friends, at that. Maybe if I’d seen the relationship they had, I’d be more sympathetic, but… I can’t say Freddie’s illness bothered me to this extent. He was simply sick...and dying. 

Freddie only lasted a season, so there wasn’t much time to get his character development ‘n such. Even if he had, I’d doubt that I’d grow an attachment to ‘em. Freddie was borderline abusive, in my opinion. He reminded me of my sister’s ex-boyfriend, the one who touched me. I’m not saying Freddie is capable of molestation, but from what I remember about the day Polly went to see him at his mother’s grave— everything he did after that didn’t sit right with me. Plus, the time where he took his anger out on Ada while she was pregnant. 

Nobody is a saint, but those actions spoke volumes to me ‘n I grew wary around him. I’m not saying that he deserves to die. He doesn’t. But, nor do I care much about his ailment either.

I ran a hand through his hair, bringing him closer to me, and he did the same to me. I can’t deny that I shivered from the action, his cold hand running through my hair. We were hugging so tightly that I could hardly breathe. 

“Tommy!” I gasped out. I waited for a response, but he gave me nothing. I called his name out again and again and again. 

“Please.” His lips smacked. “Just-! Just a little while longer.”

I hummed and rubbed his back. 

Tommy let out a sigh before saying, “Nobody came back the same. Nobody. Freddie… Freddie took a bullet for me ‘n what have I done, eh? What have I done with that chance he gave me?”

Though, I wanted to respond. Though, I wanted to comfort him and silence the noise in his head. I knew better than to interrupt someone in a rant.

“We-We used to be so close, you know. He was my best mate, but I made a promise to meself that I’d change. I’d change this family for the better. I’d protect it better. Freddie! Freddie wanted to change the world, still. Still wanted revolution. But a war like that takes time and- and connections and money.” He scoffed. “It’s not happening in this lifetime, that’s for sure. Status, money, and violence is what makes the world go round. Not justice and pretty words.” He laughed, dryly. 

He couldn’t see with my face hidden in his neck, but my face contorted harshly. I felt like crying from his words. His tone was so strained and full of pain.

“But, it seems that there was still some part of me that hoped that he could do it. That he and Ada could change the world. And now, now… I’m losing him to the same fucking disease.”

Greta, he was talking about Greta.

My mouth moved before I could stop it. “Greta, right?” His hold on me loosened, and funnily enough— the separation allowed for some fresh air to squeeze in.

He hummed in confirmation. “Who blabbered to you about her, eh?”

“It was Freddie, actually.” He held me tight again. When he didn’t say anything else, I took it as my turn to speak. “You know, Tom, you’re right in acknowledging that you all came back different. You focused on the small, your family while Freddie focused on the big, the government. Nobody-!” I sighed while averting my eyes. “I don’t blame you for that. I’m sure you both actually held the same dream.”

“What dream would that be?” He whispered.

While I didn’t break the hug, I shifted us around so that I could cradle his face. “To protect your family.” His eyebrows furrowed and his lip quivered before he left out a snicker. “What!” I exclaimed. “Okay, maybe not just your family, but you know what I mean! Families all over.” He was still snickering as he bent down and hid his face in my neck. “Oh, do one. You know what I meant, Thomas Shelby.”

Once his snickering was under control, I added. “You know, it’s not too late to make amends. He’s still running around London, preaching of his revolution. Plus, there’s always the chance-!”

“No, no there’s not, Ailena.” His head shot up and his hands held my face. My hands, on reflex, went to remove his grip, but I took a deep breath and rested my hands on his. “He’s not miraculously gonna get better. You said it yourself. The doctor said his condition is severe.”

I hummed and muttered “is right”. There was a silence that dropped between us again. But this one was different. His eyes kept glancing up and down, but at what? ‘Was there something on my face?’ I wondered as I was admiring his eyes. I could never get tired of looking at his baby blues.

But then reality interrupted as he cleared his throat and dropped his hands from my face. We both took a step back, and I shyly hung my head. Then, I started rocking on my heels till I made finger guns as I walked into the living room. 

Tommy said. “Thanks for…” 

 I cut him off. “You don’t have to thank me, honestly.”

“Well, then. At least let me take you back to the ‘ouse.” 

I chuckled loudly. “Fine then! But I’m warning ya now, I’m super tired, right now. That means I’ma talk your ear off!” I grabbed my coat off the hanger as he opened the door for us.

Tommy scoffed while holding the door open, his head tipping back and a grin on his face. “Like I’m not used to it.”

“Ha!” I shouted while twirling around to face him as he was locking the door. “Az if! It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with me at night.”

“Sure, but doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the experience. That sort of damage lasts a lifetime.” 

I gasped and smacked his arm.

I was thinking about Tommy’s smiling face as I traced the rim of my martini. 

I didn’t focus on the lavish scene around me. I was wearing a black wig that had the cut of a bob in a red dress. I was standing at the bar of this hotel. People were seated in tables behind me, their conversations were loud over the soft music playing. There were a few people and couples standing at the bar with me, but they were far away from me.

Ever since Grace, he’s been more serious. Keeps more things bottled up. I mean I don’t blame him. Probably feels that he needs to be more guarded since it was so easy for Grace to infiltrate, you know? Maybe I hurt him too. 

I laughed to myself, a hand hovering over my mouth. I took a couple of stumbling steps, making sure it looked like I was having a hard time standing up straight. While I was playing the part of a drunken damsel, nothing could break the concentration I had on my black clutch.

Tonight’s target was a poor excuse of a human being who liked to take advantage of women. Rough sex, rape, the whole fucking sha-bang! He’s been known to take a drunk woman up to his room and have his way with her. Practically gloated about it.

“Hello, pretty lady. All alone tonight, are you?”

I let out a soft, “Ha!” I took a swig of my drunk before facing him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” My words were purposefully slurred.

“I would very much.”

God, he was so not my type. I was gonna have to put my mouth on his. He has a mustache too! Well, if Tommy looked like Cillian did in Free Fire— I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

I scoffed before giving him a sultry smile. “Well, I am. Alone.”

“Ah!” He drawled out while closing the distance between us.

He smelled rancid. I bit my tongue to stop my face from contorting in disgust.

“How about I buy another round for us, huh?”

I kept my smile as I replied. “That would be great!”

I had to entertain this guy for a while till he suggested that we should do somewhere more private. That meant going up to his hotel room. I accepted and “drunkenly” walked with him to the elevator.

I did nothing as he slammed my limp body against the wall of the elevator as basically inhaled my mouth. I let him grope my body and my only solace was knowing we would be in his room any second and the grip I had on my clutch. 

The elevator finally stopped and he took a step back from me. I panted for breath as I covered my mouth. He looked down at me as if he’d won something. As if he was saying, “There’s more where that came from.”

He yanked the gate of the elevator back and tugged me forward. I said nothing and followed him. I clinged to his arm as he led us to his room. Once he opened the door, he was on me again. 

I could feel him bend down and his hand tapped my thigh. I jumped on his command and wrapped myself around him, clutch still in-hand. He walked us into the room, slamming the door shut using his foot. Then, he walked us over to the bed and threw me on it. 

I groaned on impact and I let my clutch fall to the ground. He climbed over me, pressed his mouth on mine, and started to hike up my dress. My hands clawed at his. I desperately tried preventing him from hiking up my dress. 

‘I am still in control.’ I thought.

I did a quick maneuver, so that I was on top of him.

“What the fuck!”

“Please.” I said. “Let me take care of everything.”

In an instant, the look of anger vanished from his face into a shit-eating grin.

“You want me this badly, huh? Well, go on. Get to it.” 

I kissed him a couple of more times before I began to unbutton his shirt. I left a trail of kisses behind. Then, swung my leg off of him. I rose to my feet. I pretended to take off my heels, but I was really picking up my clutch. 

I could hear his exciting panting which told me he was focusing on the pleasure and not on me. I quickly opened my clutch and took out the syringe. I let my clutch fall to the floor twice to mimic the sound of shoes falling to the ground.

I walked to the end of the bed, keeping the syringe hidden by holding it vertical in my palm against my arm. I placed it carefully by his feet and then began taking off his shoes. 

When his feet were bare, he finally spoke. 

“Hurry up, will you? For fuck’s sake.”

I uncapped the syringe, stuck it between his big toe and the second, and then emptied its contents. I watched as horror contorted his face. His eyes went wide as his jaw slacked. 

I cleared my throat as I wiped my mouth. I walked over to where I left my clutch, picked it up, and laid it on the bed. I could hear him let out pathetic little gasps. I leaned over his face, his eyes looking up at the ceiling. 

“Don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon. In a few minutes, actually.” I looked at him and felt nothing. With my finger, I stroked his cheek. “I’ve been ordered to make your death look natural. I don’t know why nor do I care to know. However-!” I gripped his chin and made him look at me. “I know you were a very bad man who did very bad things, especially to women.” I smiled and while pursing my lips I said. “See this as your karma.” I chuckled while letting go of my grip on his chin. 

The same time I rose to my feet, I could hear the laughter of men.

‘What the fuck? What were they planning a gangbang?’

I reached down and slid out the knife I hid in my heel. I quickly turned around and slit his throat. He instantly started gurgling. Two men entered the room, not altered. They came in while talking to one another. I held out an arm to steady my aim and then threw my knife at one of them. 

The man fell to the ground while barely clutching his chest. 

I made work of the armchair between me and the man still standing. While he had taken out his gun, it wouldn’t help as I launched myself from the chair, my knee hitting his chest, and knocking him down. 

I took the gun from his grasp, turned ‘round to the man who was holding my knife, and fired two shots. One to the heart and one to the chest. 

I looked down at the man with my heel on his throat. “Are there more coming?”

“Fuck you.”

I pressed down harder. “Are there more coming?” I shouted.

“Yes.”

I shot him in the head, hurried over to the door, and then crouched down. I could hear men approaching. They were talking loudly, probably exchanging orders. I waited until one came into my view. 

There were two of them. I grabbed the one closest to me and his gun went off. He turned to me to which I did not waste the opportunity to shoot him twice in the chest. The other guy used that time I was focused on his partner to grab my wrist and move my gun away from his head. With a grip still on my wrists, I grunted out in pain as he began to deliver blows to my side.

I whipped my head forward and then back. He cried out loudly. I fought to free myself from his grip. I managed to twist myself around in his arms and send a blow to his inner thigh that had him buckling. I gained some control just in time to shoot the man who was walking in, but his grip on me was still strong. He rose to his feet, threw my arms on top of the armchair, and disarmed me. 

I quickly elbowed him in the face and his head flew back. I composed myself and readied myself for his next attack. He tried punching me, but I blocked it. He attempted it again, but I grabbed his wrist in time to notice the figure creeping up in my vision.

I made the decision to flip up onto the ground, effectively avoiding machine gun fire. I kept my grip on his arm tight to the point where he was moaning in pain. I guided us up and used him as my shield. My focus was completely on the man holding the machine gun. 

The man I was holding was begging his comrade not to shoot, but I was more concerned by how close he was getting. I walked us forward, threw him to his friend, and quickly sent the man who was holding the machine gun— a punch to his face. I quickly latched onto the machine gun.

The man I threw, sprung back up and before he could attack, I sent him flew back with a kick to the chest. I elbowed the man holding the machine gun again which made him hold onto the trigger. I aimed to gun at the other man, killing him. I couldn’t help but smile as he was sent back with his hands flailing in the air.

The man who was attached to the gun got a grip on my hair. I grunted in pain as he twirled us around to a different airchair in the room. I got a better grip on the gun and drove it into his chest. He let out sharp yelp. I hit him with the gun again, this time in the face.

Though I felt an arm wrapped around my neck, I kept my cool and drove my elbow into his torso. He groaned. I gripped the arm that was wrapped around my neck and then used my other hand to get a grip on the back of his neck. I flipped him off me and onto the armchair. Which he fell off of. 

I didn’t waste anytime retrieving my knife back, kicking the body off of my blade with a disgusted cry. Once I slid back in my knife, I hurried over to the body, scooped up some of his blood, and smeared it on my face and chest. I, also, grabbed a gun and finished off the other two I had knocked out.

I walked into the hallway and when the voices of men were near my proximity— I began crying out for help. 

One of them held me in his arms. I tried my hardest to appear distraught and pleaded with them to help the man I had killed. The man holding me led me to the elevator and promised to get me to safety. 

As we were on the elevator, my hands skimmed over his second gun in his waist holster. 

‘That’ll come in handy.’

When the elevator ride was over, he sat me down and ordered me not to move. As he turned away, I took the liberty of relieving him of his gun. I was on my feet not a heartbeat later. I blended in with the stampede of people who were rushing to get out of the hotel. 

When I separated from the herd, I reached down, tore a piece of my dress and hopefully, wiped away the blood on my face. I ran down two streets to nick a car.

It would be an understatement to say that I’m angry.  

I yanked off the wig I was wearing as I was driving, pins ‘n all. I ruffled my hair out while huffing. My eyes drifted to the middle of the car, looking for a clock. I groaned when I remembered what time period I was living in. 

With one hand threaded in my hair and the other on the wheel, I just focused on getting to the mansion as fast as I could. 

I was going over my conversation with Dom in my head before it happened.

Was I going to accuse him of not giving me all the Intel on purpose? Was I going to swallow my anger and just demand proper compensation for the additional kills? Would I even be  docked pay because the hit was ordered as a natural death, and it ultimately was very fucking messy?

I huffed and finally placed both of my hands on the wheel while increasing my pressure on the gas. 

I pulled up to the mansion with a screeching halt. I ignored the henchmen that came toward me and tried to prevent me from storming the place. I made a beeline to Dom's office and hurt anyone who got in my way. 

I pushed open the double doors so harshly, they slammed against the wall. 

"We need to talk." I demand. 

I could hear the beginnings of spluttering behind me. "S-Sir! We tried to stop her, but the orders and sh-she fought back."

Dom didn't turn around as he continued to gaze out the window. A glass in his dominant hand. With a flick of his wrist, he said. "Leave us."

His henchman attempted to plead so more, but Dom repeated himself— louder this time. 

With a clear voice, I said. “There were other men.” I let out a huff and sucked at my teeth for showing my emotions so blatantly. “He orchestrated nonconsensual orgies! I took out the ones that posed a threat.” I let my voice trail off as I began to rub my wrist incessantly.

“How many?” He asked.

I swallowed silently as I tried to recall. “Not including the target, seven extra kills.”

“Were you hurt?”

I furrowed my eyebrows at the questions. Of course, I had to fight for my life. Of course, I was hurt. “Uh, yes. I was dealt a few blows but I didn’t sustain any slashes or gunshot wounds.”

“No, Aliena. Were you hurt?”

There was an insinuation behind his words that I understood perfectly. “No.” I whispered. “No, I held my own.” 

Dom finally turned around and I could see the anger in his face. It was subtle.

I remember a time where I swore I could never read faces. But I don’t know ever since I woke up here, my body hasn’t been the same. Maybe it was this body, or perhaps it was all that time I spent with Tommy.

He slammed his glass down, which made me flinch, and then leaned against his desk. He let out a shuddering breath before he sniffed loudly, stood up straight, and pointed at me. “The target was an important one for which you would have been paid 25,500. However, now it will be 43,800. Now, leave. I’ll have Richard give you the payment tomorrow.”

I was stunned for a second before I bowed and left the house as fast as a cat running out of a rainstorm. It wasn’t until I was out on the road that I realized that I had bowed to him as if he were some fucking king!

‘Damn you and your kinks! You bloody better beaut!’ I thought. My actions spurred on my “tics” or fidgets, I call them. I was repeatedly flicking my nose, scrunching up my face, and smacking my hand over my mouth. They calmed down after a while. Exhaustion was eating me up as was pain in my side.

The fucker really got me there.

Usually, I would have ditched the car a few cities back and just run on back home, but I was so tired. I ditched the car down a hill where I knew there had been water at the end and marched back home with my wig in hand. 

When I was finally standing in front of the flat’s door, I groaned to myself. I slapped my cheeks repeatedly as I prepared myself to get back into stealth mode. I made sure to step on certain spots on the floor to decrease their squeaks, and open and close doors at a snail’s pace. The stairs were the hardest. Switching between taking one and two at a time. 

By the time I entered my room, I’d ripped my clothes off me and thrown them and my wig aside. I carelessly put on a night gown and settled myself into bed. Fortunately, soon after my head hit my pillow I was asleep.

“Aliena, love! It’s time to get up!” Polly shouted as she pounded her fist against my door.

I shot up and realized I was awake now. My face contorted as I began to sob, my arms crossing over my eyes the same time as I threw myself back down on my bed.

I whimpered out. “I’m so tired!”

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

[jj-lynn21]

SUMMER BURN: starring Bill Skarsgard as Brian ch.1

I got this idea from a game going around in which you pair the last picture you saved and last song you listened to. Mine was Bill as Clark in those short shorts with Taylor Swift's You Belong with Me being the song.  

Warnings: Not much for the the first chapter other than if mean bitchy girl is a trigger for you. There will be smut and killing later. Mutilated bodies possible. Let’s see where this goes. Original character. One played by Bill Skarsgard.  

Tagging: @bskarsgardlove92

read ch 2 click here

College was done for the semester. I had no reason to start up for the summer term because I was ready for some good times with friends. The fun, the sun and skin that most seemed to enjoy showing in the summertime. My body might not be perfect from how I see it, but I put on a new bathing suit for the first beach day with friends.  

It was unusually warm for May when they picked me up in the loud pink safari jeep Jess, got as her high school graduation gift. It was a bit flashy but so was she with a romper that matched the jeep over her bathing suit. She was an instigator. A rebel. The group leader if the group really acknowledged that. It was her idea to go to the beach that day. It was even her that started the beautiful nightmare that was summer.

Melissa and Tami were my other besties. They were game for whatever Jess suggested. I guess I was also, most of the time. We were settled in on that beach sunbathing and chat when he walked by on his cellphone. His thick and wild hair on the longer side. He was the only one that was still sporting a beard. He looked like the guy from the Bee Gees my mother had a crush on when she was my age. But what really got my heart fluttering was his legs. Damn his short white tight shorts did not leave much to the imagination.  His legs long and lean with powerful thighs. I was practically salivating along with most of the others on the beach that day.  

“You belong with me.” I whispered.  

Jess smirked as she took her eyes off the handsome stranger looking my way instead. “You want that? I can get it for you.”

“What?” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment.  

“If you cannot just walk over there to talk to him, I can.” She got up.

“He is on the phone.” You shook your head in protest. “It would be rude to interrupt...”

“Well, he just got off the phone.” She rubbed her hands together to get the sand off. “I am not spending another summer of you pining over someone right in front of you.”

“No, you shouldn’t bother...” It was too late for you to stop her.  

Tami and Melissa giggle. “You know there is no stopping her when she gets an idea in her head.” Tami reminded you.

“Besides you could use somebody this summer since the rest of us all have dates.” Mellissa reminded you.  

You did not need a reminder you were the only single in the group. It had been that way for two years. You would go with them for group outing and sometimes one of their dates would bring a relative that was in town to occupy you, but mostly you really did not like the set ups. If you did, they always left after their visit with no contact after.  

“What’s up butter.” Jess said as she stood in front of the stranger stopping him from walking away. “I’m Jess.”

He smirked. “What’s up with you?”

“Well, you see.” She started her spiel. “My friend over there hiding her face with her hands wants to, let’s say get to know you. I told her it was a done deal unless you are some asshole that walks around in white short shorts thinking he is too good for her. So, are you?”

“Am I what?” He held back a chuckle at the brash girl. “Am I an asshole? I can tell you I try not to be.”

“Good so you will come meet her?” Jess grabs the stranger's hand to pull him over to you and your other friends.  

He stopped her in her tracks with one rough tug. Jess glared at him. “What the fuck, dude?”

“I can’t join you right know.” He glanced at his buzzing cellphone. “I’ll catch you later.’  

“What are you a drug dealer? Hired killer?” She yelled after him joking.

“Something like that.” He grinned winking towards me. I could have died on the spot.

“Can we get your name short shorts?” She called after him.  

“Brian.” His deep voice echoed in your mind as he left the scene.

Jess skipped back over to you and the others. “His name is Brian. He could be a serial killer but do not let that stop you sis.” She laughed. “I bet he will be at the bonfire tonight so of course we are going.”

“Of course, we are.” Melissa and Tami sang in unison.

“You would set me up with a possible killer?” I asked in all seriousness.  

“You are desperate, and you like the way he looks.” Jess laughed. “I was joking. He is probably just a sale person. You can find that out for yourself later tonight.”

I through daggers at her with my eyes silently scolding her. It was early in our beach day, and I had already had enough of her ways. I swaer she could easily drive a person crazy enough to kill her without even knowing it.

“What?” She laughed uncomfortable. “I think we need to cool off in the water girls.”

“I need something to drink.” You started walking toward the beach bar in the distance. “I’ll be out after.”

“Suit yourself.” Jess and the other girls took their cover-ups off and ran towards the crashing waves.

I made my way trudging through sand in flip flops to the bar. The bar tender was so annoying as he flirted with another customer as I tried to get his attention for a drink. “You want me to take care of him for you?” A deep smooth voice offered in your ear. You did not recognize him at first. His beard and most the puffy wild hair were gone. But you couldn’t help but recognizing those legs in the short shorts and the tight striped shirt that hugged his broad chest as you looked him over.

“Sorry about Jess.” You figured if she wasn’t going to apologize you might as well. “I could just kill her.”

“Strangle to death in her sleep.” He added.

You both laughed uncomfortable. Brian snapped his fingers between the bar tender and his mark. “Two mimosas over here before you end up dying horrible tonight.”

The bar tender jumped to attention to get the drinks. His eyes were wide like he took Brian seriously.  

“That made him jump to it.” I smiled. “I guess threatening him worked.”

“Most of the time it does with anyone.” Brian smiled back. “Don’t you think?”

“I do.” I said coyly playing with a little piece of hair. “How come the fake hair and beard when we first saw you? Are you hiding from someone? How did you even remove it all so quick?”

“Whoa there little Miss interrogator.” He put his hand palm up between the two of you as the bar tender served the drinks. “Can I get your name before you accuse me of anything? My name is Brian. I enjoy my job even though I need to pretend to be other people sometimes to get done what my clients need done. My wig and beard are in my bag.” He pointed to the duffle bag laying on the sand at his feet.

“Sorry.” I looked down biting your bottom lip.

He stuck two fingers under my chin to lift my eyes to his gaze. His green eyes were bright and forgiving. “You don’t need to be sorry. You have every right to be curious, but I have every right not to tell you everything. Things can get dangerous when you get to know people too quickly. You understand sweetheart?”

I  shiver. That feeling of want warming in my core as I attempt to just nod yes. He held my chin in place with great strength but care in his stare. “Use your words that you understand me.”

“Yes, I understand.” I reply dreamily. No one had ever told you not to say, sorry. Or held your gaze so long. It was chilling and exciting. Goosebumps started covering your body.  

He let go of your chin before finishing his drink. “I have a few people to take care of this evening. I will see you at the bonfire when I am finished. Would you like that?”

“Yes.” You muttered.

Brian smiled as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. “Finish your drink slowly. Your friends are about to join you.” He pulled away walking off towards the docks as your friends came up behind you.  

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s Year End Wrap-Up

Hello everybody! We’ve finally reached the end of 2020. While I’m glad to leave this miserable year behind, one of things that undeniably got me through it was the vast amount of awesome music we got. In past years I’ve made favorite album and EP lists, but this time around I’m going to tackle them all in one go, giving reviews on the projects that had some significances to me over the course of the year. I’m going to make a post for my favorite songs too, so keep an eye out for that in coming days. Now, without further ado, let’s get started, shall we?

folklore by Taylor Swift: This was an incredible year of growth for Taylor Swift. As much as I’ve enjoyed her past music, the way she constantly felt the need to address what people thought of her always irked me, (though after watching her documentary, I do understand why she did it.) It wasn’t Taylor Swift the public persona that was most interesting, I thought. It was Taylor Swift the artist, the songwriter, the storyteller. What I wanted was an album focused on that. This year, I got one, (well... more on that later,) and it’s my favorite project she’s ever done. The tales Swift spins on folklore span across love triangles, heiresses, and battlefields, and she nails each and every one. While the chilly indie-folk influence from the likes of Aaron Dessner and Justin Vernon is prominent, Swift’s warmth and charisma always cuts through the fog like a beam of sunlight. So yeah, this is my undeniable album of the year.

Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: I only started listening to Fiona Apple last year and had thoroughly enjoyed her music, but this album cemented her as one of my favorite songwriters and performers of all time. Everything about Fetch The Bolt Cutters is so idiosyncratic yet fits together in just the right way, like watching an entire house being dropped from the sky and falling perfectly into place. It is a testament to the creative process, emotional honesty, and breaking free from all the cages you may find yourself in, whether they be societal, personal, or those of your own making. And in a year that was so isolating, it felt like Apple was whispering everything I needed to hear right into my ear, just when I needed it. In short, my boltcutters have been motherfucking fetched. 

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers: When Punisher was announced, I had no clue how Phoebe Bridgers would match the quality of Stranger In The Alps. Upon first listen, I wasn’t sure she had. By the fifteenth time I was listening to this album and every lyric was hitting like Cupid’s arrow to the jugular, I knew she’d surpassed it. Punisher presents a sonic scope that both comforts and crushes all at once, like with the upbeat yet mournful horns on “Kyoto” or the cathartic swell on standout “I Know The End.” In my opinion, Bridgers is one of the greatest songwriters of our generation in the making, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings for her. She may know the end, but she’s far from it. 

SAWAYAMA by Rina Sawayama: This is the album I see becoming a new shorthand for the true potential of pop excellence, a cult hit that never got its time to shine but is beloved by pop music geeks to the ends of the earth, like EMOTION by Carly Rae Jepsen. SAWAYAMA so effortlessly blends diverse genres and influences like disco, nu metal, and arena rock, and it yet it remains cohesive due to Rina Sawayama’s sheer strength as a performer. She deserves a spot on the pop girlie hierarchy, and one near the top. 

Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa: I really enjoyed Dua Lipa’s debut album, but even I didn’t expect her to come through with such a fully realized, consistent, downright fantastic follow up. Future Nostalgia is a pop album that feels studied, like Lipa did her research of pop’s past as she made it. The result is an album that synthesizes several different sounds under her vision, one that is always trained ahead, and it simply slaps. In a perfect world, nearly every song on this album got spun off into a hit single. 

evermore by Taylor Swift: 2020 was already my year of listening to Taylor Swift, (I went through her whole discography, cultivated a favorites playlist, and at the end of the year I was in the top 2% of her yearly Spotify listeners.) evermore was a lovely cherry to top it all off. While folklore enchanted me with its stories, evermore captivated me with its melodies. I haven’t been able to get snippets of this album out. of. my. head. for weeks now. It’s a bit less consistent than it’s older sister, (and likely to live in its shadow,) but there is still so much to love. 

I’m Allergic to Dogs! by Remi Wolf: This EP is so much goddamn fun. It’s a blend of many different sounds, indie pop, electronic, maybe hip hop, I think reggae at points? It’s such a colorful, textured, quirky listen bristling with energy and undeniable hooks. “Woo!” conquered my Summer, and months later the bridge of “Photo ID” conquered TikTok. Keep your eye out for Remi Wolf in the coming year, she’s going to make a big splash. 

Good At Being Young by Charli Adams: Good At Being Young was the first EP this year that I could not get enough of. It drifts through dreamy indie-pop sounds, with melancholic guitars and cloudy synths, and Adams has a deep vocal timbre that delivers tales of adolescent tribulations with just the right amount of wistfulness. Overall, it builds the perfect soundscape for a late-night drive.

Cape God by Allie X: Allie X has been keeping us FED with content. It seems like only yesterday that Super Sunset came out, and yet her output remains impressively consistent. This album has impressive highs, some lower moments, but the danceability, duets, and enticing darkness under its shiny pop veneer make it a record you won’t want to skip. 

La vita nuova by Christine and The Queens: Perhaps the biggest flex of 2020 was Christine and The Queens dropping a fantastic EP and accompanying short film right out of the gate. The grooves on this are infectious, wiry, and air-tight, (the Caroline Polachek feature was another added bonus,) but that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of emotional weight too. 

Lighter by Donna Missal: This was one of my most anticipated albums of the year, and it’s hard to determine whether it disappointed or not. I think the only thing holding Lighter back is that This Time was such a formative album for me, (my favorite of 2018, to the uninitiated.) In fact, this album flows way better than This Time, more cohesive with its storytelling and more consistent in folk-rock sound. And, of course, Donna Missal’s vocals stun on both the bangers and the ballads. 

SURF by BLACKSTARKIDS: There was no record this year that was more instantly likeable than this one. The blend of low-fi indie pop and hip hop makes for a whirlwind of sunny fun and youthful malaise that would make the perfect soundtrack for a road trip to the beach. Standouts include the opening track “SOUNDS LIKE FUN,” the chill “WIGS,” and blissful title track “MUSIC TO SURF TO.”

The Baby by Samia: I’ve had my eye on Samia since “Milk” dropped years ago. Seeing her live sparked my belief that she was an indie darling in the making, and The Baby confirmed that she definitely was. The lyrics on this album mix quiet contemplation with just enough sardonic wit and raw emotion throughout a varied selection of sunny rock bops and gut wrenching ballads. If you enjoyed Punisher, then I can’t recommend this enough.

Season 2 by Nasty Cherry: Nasty Cherry is a group that I will not stop rooting for. Their EP from last year showed their potential for nailing monster hooks, but this sophomore effort shows just how versatile they can be. This EP covers everything from Dylan Brady produced hyperpop to early-2000s reminiscent pop rock to emotional balladry, and they pull it all off flawlessly. 

A Little Rhythm and a Wicked Feeling by Magdalena Bay: This album became a fast favorite way late in the year, there is such a sweetness to Magdalena Bay’s music that makes it stick in your brain like a piece of blue raspberry bubblegum. This EP is spacey, catchy, and filled with electronic synthpop mastery, with countless catchy hooks that’ll make you feel like drifting and dancing all at once.

Miss Anthropocene by Grimes: The bubblegum bombast of Art Angels fully redefined my taste in pop years ago, so I was fascinated to see how Grimes would follow it up. On Miss Anthropocene, she leans into darker, more industrial textures, but also anchors it back to Earth with acoustic touches and some of her most introspective lyrics to date. Grimes painted a version of a world on the brink of disaster on this album, a picture that was hypnotically beautiful. And in a year where the word was a certified disaster, that was strangely comforting.

Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus: I’ve been wanting Miley to go rock for so goddamn long, Plastic Hearts was bound to make this list by pure validation alone. But what can I say? This breed of glossy 80s rock suits Cyrus’s rougher voice so well! I hope she stays in this lane a bit longer, but as we know, she’s one of pop’s most chameleonic figures. Only time will tell. 

Where Does The Devil Hide by Zella Day: I have been patiently awaiting new Zella Day music ever since getting hooked on Kicker back in 2017, so this was one of my most anticipated releases of the year. This EP sounds nothing like Kicker, and I couldn’t be happier. It shows Day leaning even more into her influences from the past, (the 60s/70s vibes are intense with this one,) but also breathing a refreshing new life into them. 

SOUL LADY by Yukika: When I imagine the ideal of pop music, what it would sound like in a perfect world, this is what it sounds like. SOUL LADY is full of pristine, glossy production and catchy hooks that feel like they’ve come down from the clouds. I’ll admit that I can have trouble forming a connection with music when I don’t understand the lyrics, (it’s something I’m working on,) but this album cleared that hurdle with ease. If you’re curious about city pop or K-pop this is a great place to start. 

Heaven Is Without You by Love You Later: Give me lush pop production and heartbroken lyrics finished off with a heaping helping of nostalgia and I’ll eat it up with a spoon. Love You Later has been feeding my addiction to this genre for years, and this latest helping is particularly sweet. 

IN A DREAM by Troye Sivan: Troye Sivan has always supplied the bops, but it was about time that he started experimenting with his sound a little bit more. This EP offers some harder-hitting electronic textures, but also the addictive hooks that’ll keep you coming back for more.

Ungodly Hour by Chloe X Halle: These women are so TALENTED! If there is any word I’d use to describe this album it would be “effortless,” the harmonies, grooves, and chemistry between Chloe and Halle feels so natural and free-flowing. Charisma just rolls off of them in droves, I see full-blown stardom and several Grammys in their future.

Watching You by Robinson: This EP was one of the first on this list to arrive this year, and it still hits months later. Robinson’s confessional lyrics work wonders over the buoyant pop grooves, and “Don’t Say” remains one of the best pop songs of recent years. 

Manic by Halsey: I respect Halsey for dipping her toes into a myriad of different genres, (synth pop, rock, hip hop, and acoustic balladry,) but it does make for a jumbled listening experience. Still, I appreciate that this album features some of Halsey’s strongest tracks and writing to date, offering greater experimentation and emotional imtimacy than album’s past. 

We Don’t Stop by Aly & AJ: Should this count? It’s more a compilation of their past EP and singles... I don’t care, I’m counting it because there’s some new stuff too. This is an excellent display of Aly & AJ’s pop prowess in recent years, the hooks, vocal chemistry, and shimmery production are undeniable. 

Under My Influence by The Aces: The Aces returned in 2020 with a more laid-back, groovier record than their debut, exploring a wider variety of sounds. They’re as magnetic and likeable a group as ever, each member giving it their all, but I think I’ll return to the debut more often. 

Strangers/Lovers by Dagny: I’ve been anticipating a longer Dagny project, as she’s been drip-feeding us singles for a while now. This was a lot of fun, with Dagny pairing her upbeat earnestness with stories of romantic tribulation. While the hooks aren’t as memorable as her past offerings, there is still so much to enjoy. Lead single “Come Over” and “Let Me Cry” are my favorites.

DUALITY by Tatiana Hazel: I came across this via recommendation on Tik Tok and it’s a solid pop record! The music is swooning, synthy, and tinged with disco and Latin influence. The record doesn’t waste a second of its runtime, clocking in at less than half an hour and grooving the whole time.

After Hours by The Weeknd: The sonic palette of After Hours is so engaging, a neon-drenched blend of synthwave, electropop, and R&B. I’ve always felt lukewarm on The Weeknd’s musical persona of brooding, villainous party monster, so the strongest moments on this album tend to be when he subverts that in some way. Still, in full, this album is an undeniable force of smash hits, stadium-shaking ballads, and cinematic flair. I can’t wait for his Super Bowl performance. 

Petrol Bloom by LAUREL: It’s no secret that this year was chock-full of 80s revival albums (there’s what, five others on this list?) LAUREL wasn’t an artist I was expecting to go in that direction after the brooding folk pop of her debut album, but her deeper timbre works great alongside the synthy soundscapes. 

positions by Ariana Grande: I’ve just come to expect that nearly all of Ariana Grande’s albums are going to be growers to me. My first listen to positions was underwhelming, but the songs have grown on me more and more. This album feels like being let in on a giggly, fun slumber party with Grande and her friends. I wouldn’t call this her strongest album by far, and while I tend to prefer when she favors the more powerful parts of her range, (and her enunciations could still use some work,) there is a lot of good material here. 

THE ALBUM by BLACKPINK: We may just have to stan. I checked this out after watching their Netflix documentary, and while this breed of cacophonous, in-your-face electropop isn’t something I can listen to all the time, the hooks and charisma are undeniable. It certainly makes me feel like a bad bitch whenever I’m working out. 

Kid Krow by Conan Gray: Conan Gray burst onto my radar offering dreamy tracks rich with teen malaise and suburban restlessness, and a good amount of that initial appeal carries over onto this album. Kid Krow has both a larger instrumental scope and more stripped-back moments. In the end, it still feels like Gray is finding his voice as an artist, but he's giving up great bops to jam out to as he does.

Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams: Hayley Williams is one of my favorite vocalists, so seeing her venture out for a solo project was exciting. This album offers a mixed bag of danceable jams, emotive moments that showcase Williams’s powerful voice, and a few skips. But overall it showcases Williams’s strength as a performer as she tackles her past with vulnerability and versatility.

Apart by LÉON: Oh, man. This one was kind of disappointing. For context, LÉON’s self-titled debut was my favorite album of last year. This follow-up is by no means bad, but every song on her first album was instantly memorable. This one, not so much. LÉON’s vocals are beautiful, and there are some stand-out tracks, but I don’t see myself returning to this nearly as much. 

Blush by Maya Hawke: Maya Hawke’s Blush was to my 2020 what Tōth’s Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary was to my 2019, (and that makes sense, as they’ve collaborated in the past.) This album is so blissful and nonchalant, and Maya Hawke has a gentle, soothing voice that feels wise beyond her years. While the writing isn’t as hard-hitting as, say, the Phoebe Bridgers album, sometimes I just want to listen to something that could rock me off into a dream world. If you like folksy, down-to-earth ballads, you’ve got a solid collection of them right here. 

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen: Of course Queen Carly would pull through with B-sides for Dedicated, did we expect anything less? Jepsen’s brand of controlled yet carefree shimmery poptimism drenched in 80s nostalgia that never fails to put me in a good mood. This album has some lusher, more tropical instrumentation than Dedicated proper, but works great alongside it.

Missing Person by Kelsy Karter: To the Plastic Hearts fans out there, your homework now is to give this record a listen. This rock album presents pop hooks, but a lot of reckless rock fun too. Kelsy Karter has so much irresistible swagger and carefree spirit as a performer, speeding through the emotional highs and lows like she’s burning rubber in a cherry red Cadillac. 

how i’m feeling now by Charli XCX: I’ll admit, this album was a bit abrasive to me on first listen. But tracks like “anthems” and “forever” made me return, and it’s a huge grower. If you listen closely, you’ll find the sugary-sweet hooks and relatable sentiments nestled deep in the crunchy hyperpop textures, begging to be discovered and eventually loved. 

Jaguar by Victoria Monét: If you enjoyed positions, then check out the debut from one of that album’s most prominent co-writers. Jaguar’s concise collection of silky R&B slow-burners show that Victoria Monet’s is a superstar in her own right. 

Some great albums I listened to that didn’t come out this year: Blue by Joni Mitchell, BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA by BLACKPINK, I Need to Start a Garden by Haley Heynderickx, Plastic Beach by Gorillaz, Out in the Storm by Waxahatchee, 7 by Beach House, Dummy by Portishead, Lovers Fevers by Babygirl, and Red by Taylor Swift. 

Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it. 

What were your favorite albums from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard it. 

Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year. 

[milkybunbuns]

smile → kita.s

I’ll make you smile - 3

w/c: 1.2 K

warnings: swearing, raging at atsumu and tricking him owo

SMILE MASTERLIST

-

you sat in the back corner of the classroom, staring out the window, with the sun illuminating your face, patiently waiting for your desk partner to turn up. it had turned out that this year osamu was put in a different class, so you got atsumu as a worse replacement. from what you knew, the only thing that identified them as twins was their looks and their love for volleyball, otherwise, you wouldn't really be able to tell that atsumu was osamu's twin. osamu was the sweetest foodie who was mostly kind to you, but sometimes he did do a bit of teasing. atsumu, on the other hand, was crazy, loud, attention-seeking, rude and mean. how were they even related?

"morning y/n-chan", osamu entered the room and plopped down beside you.

"huh? osamu what are you doing here? aren't you in class 2-3?"

"about that, they made me change classes since they accidentally mixed up mine and 'tsumu's marks."

"oh that's great! now i don't have to sit next to that annoying piece of shit, the gods have taken pity on me."

"don't you feel a bit bad for 'tsumu though? he's so handsome, smart and beautiful and is obviously the best twin."

"uhm, are you okay osamu?"

"yeah, i'm perfectly fine, what makes you think that?"

"you're acting really odd, complimenting atsumu? you sure you're not sick?"

"of course i'm not, but i want to say that I've loved you for a really long time, ever since we met last year."

"uh-"

"'TSUMU, GIMME BACK MY ONIGIRI!!"

"huh? What's happening, why are there two osamu's?", the three of you stared at each other, before the gaze was eventually fixed on the 'osamu' sitting beside you. 'osamu' started to sweat intensely, murmuring things other his breath. you could barely make out a 'please, i'm too young to die.'

3..

2..

1..

"ATSUMU/'TSUMU!!! YER IDIOT!!!", both you and osamu yelled in unison, tackling atsumu onto the floor and repeatedly kicking him.

"AH AH AH, PLEASE, I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!", his pleas were ignored as his carbon copy and yourself continued the assault, making sure to get him all over.

"NO, NO, NO, STOP IT. I'M SORRY. PLEASE."

"PLEASEEEE!!!!"

"I'LL BUY YOU FOOD!"

"WHAT? IS THAT NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY YOU TWO!?"

"NO!!"

"OKAY OKAY FINE! I'LL TREAT YOU BOTH TO AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET AFTER SCHOOL!", with those words, the assault stopped, as atsumu panted, taking a few moments to catch his breath. rip his wallet.

"yer better not pull a stunt like this again", you frowned at his pathetic state, arms crossed over your chest.

"yeah, or we won't be afraid to do this again", osamu stated, ripping atsumu's grey wig off his head and rummaging through his bag for the stolen onigiri.

"ughh, i can't believe i got fooled by this bastard."

"at least we get free food, isn't that right 'tsumu?"

"yes yes! of course, whatever you want!"

"great..."

----

volleyball practice had ended and it was time for the promised buffet. osamu, being a great genius, had decided to go ahead and invite almost everyone from the volleyball team to the buffet, saying that it was a 'toast to yui before she left hyogo'. of course, 'tsumu would be paying for everyone and there would be no way that he could say 'no' since it would be absolutely disrespectful to turn down guests. even though atsumu was a huge jerk, there was a limit to that jerkiness.

that's how it all led to what was currently happening. atsumu had no clue that he had invited every second and third year from the volleyball team.

"samu'! why did you invite all of them? i'm going to go broke!", atsumu whispered hurriedly in his twin's ear."

"of course, that's the point of this."

"what! how can one be so mean!?"

"shush, keep it down. you don't want the guests to hear."

"i thought this was just going to be me, y/n-chan and you."

"well, since you're so reluctant on them coming, why don't you kick everyone else all out?"

"i can't! that's just rude and they've already arrived."

"well deal with it then."

"come on 'samuuu, please pay for yourself at least?"

"hm? I'll think about it depending on your behaviour."

"what the heck? are you my mom or something, i'm not a baby."

"well, you sure do act like one."

"hey! rude."

despite that little shenanigans, the dinner went relatively smoothly, with atsumu on his 'best behaviour', which was also terrible.

----

"y/n-san, you need to eat more", kita looked over at you, who was currently on their phone on social media with a basically empty plate in front of her. on the plate there were a few pieces of chicken and one slice of lettuce.

"don't worry about me kita-senpai, I'll eat later."

"it's my job as team captain to make sure everyone is healthy, including our new manager."

"ah thank you, but honestly you don't need to worry about me, just enjoy your time. 'samu and 'tsumu will get food for me."

"i can't, i need to make sure you get a good meal", kita used a spare pair of chopsticks and put some of the food from his plate to yours. he gave you a few pieces of assorted sushi, a bit of rice and a few vegetables, "it's important to have a balanced diet. that", he pointed at what you had chosen, "is not balanced at all."

"thanks, kita-senpai for the food", you smiled at him, "you seem to know a lot about being healthy."

"my grandma teaches me about it."

"i have a question for you."

"proceed?"

"do you ever smile?"

"i have, but that was a long time ago."

"well, then it's my job to make you smile. being happy is an important part of being healthy!"

"y/n-san, what makes you think i'm unhappy with my life?"

"i've never seen you smile, you always have that stoic look on your face. it looks...distant..."

"i love all my teammates, i would never trade them for the world."

"if you're happy kita-senpai, you need to express it more. smiles make this ugly world brighter y'know?"

"alright, if that's what you would like to do, then I won't stop you y/n-san."

"thank you kita-senpai, I'll take it upon myself to make you smile before you graduate."

"i look forward towards it."

"let's enjoy this dinner for now shall we?"

"certainly."

"toast to yui!", you smiled, raising a cup of softdrink/tea/coffee/juice/water (whatever drink you want, just no alcohol cause the reader would be underage in this story hehe)

"toast to yui!", the others repeated, raising their cups to smash, sorry, tap against others.

a few sniffles were heard, "I'M GONNA MISS YER GUYS, EVEN THE MIYA TWINS STUPID ANTICS", yui burst out in tears, hugging everyone tightly. suddenly, you felt guilty, finally realising that yui was going to be leaving soon and that you would never see her again. the happiness you had put up around her broke, tears freely flowing down your cheeks as you gripped her even tighter. yui still wouldn't be leaving for a good, 3 days? so fast, huh? a week really passes quickly, doesn't it. you could feel the guilt eating at you, for all those times you had rejected yui's offers to take you around. maybe, if you accepted  them, you would be able to spend more time with her. but now, in three days she would be leaving. you were determined to make those 3 days, the best days of her life.

previous - next

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Vol. 2 Chap. 28

Summary: N’Jobu and Califia take Erik back to Sau Paulo, Brazil after major changes in Oakland...

"This world is still afloat No, not in Noah's boat We've only lost the vision Of the stars we're meant to be

Another broken heart Another lesson learnt Another harvest eaten Another night is gone A new day's begun Even your dreams they can be real"

Zero 7—"This World"

Califia watched her son write furiously in his journal.

Erik spent time sitting at their kitchen table most evenings writing and sketching just like his father. He was excited and antsy and she hadn't seen her son this happy in weeks. Sitting across from N'Jobu, Erik seemed to be in a world of his own.

When N'Jobu sat Erik down to give him just a tiny bit of their future plans, their son beamed with satisfaction. They both had no idea that the boy was unhappy with Oakland and his life there. Every day Black life wore Erik down, and instead of dealing with a child sad about leaving behind friends and family, Erik was eager to go far away. N'Jobu didn't tell Erik the possible troubles that awaited them. That would come in time. He was only told that they would be moving out of the country in a year and that he should not talk about it with anyone, not even close family.

Califia wanted to reveal their plans to her father and grandmother when they were closer to leaving. Nana Jean's health was a consideration for travel, and Califia had to prepare herself for the reality that she would possibly have to leave her and Dante behind if Nana was not up to the drastic change.

Erik was watching her.

Califia caught Erik's eye at the table as his busy hand paused in mid-scribble.

"Erik?" she asked.

N'Jobu stopped writing and stared at their son too.

"I want to go march for Auntie Lia," Erik said.

N'Jobu's eyes regarded Califia's.

The anniversary march.

Activists in Sao Paulo planned a huge memorial march for Negra Lia with the blessing of her family. Soliel and Aunjanue were part of the organizing happening there, and Califia wanted to attend that march too but there was the possibility of them moving at a moment's notice if this man N'Jobu trusted acted sooner. What was his name? Klaue?

N'Jobu put down his pen and looked at Erik.

"Are you sure you can handle going back there?" he asked.

Erik nodded.

"I want to be there. Marisol is going to march. I want those killers to know we aren't afraid of them."

N'Jobu glanced back at Califia.

"And you?" he asked.

"I feel ready to go back. That's our family. It will give us some closure," she said.

"I might not be able to go with you if things happen…I would like to be there too, but if I get word-"

"It's okay-"

"I can't say that I like the idea of you both being there again. I understand why you want to go, but…"

He stared down at his journal.

"If I am able to go, I will do so," he finally said.

Califia sauntered over to the table and sat on N'Jobu's lap. She kissed his forehead, and he raised his head up and pressed his lips onto hers.

"Aw, man…," Erik whined.

"What?" N'Jobu said.

"Should I leave?" Erik asked.

"Boy, what?" Califia said.

"You two start kissing and then…eww," Erik teased while making a face at them.

N'Jobu grinned.

"One day, Son, you will be grateful to be able to do this with a woman," he said.

"Y'all do it too much though."

"Mark my words," N'Jobu said.

His lips gave tiny smooches all over her cheeks and nose. Erik rolled his eyes and continued writing.

The house phone rang and N'Jobu continued kissing on Califia.

"I guess I'll get it," Erik said sliding off of his chair and padding over to the kitchen wall phone. Califia slipped N'Jobu a little tongue while Erik was gone.

"You keep doing that and we'll have to go upstairs," N'Jobu whispered in her ear as his tongue traced the curves of her left ear.

"Promise?" she said.

"Mom!"

Erik's voice made Califia jump off of N'Jobu's lap.

"What is it?"

Erik held the wall phone to her.

"It's Grandpop, Nana's in the hospital," Erik said.

###

N'Jobu watched Califia pace the floor outside Nana's hospital room. Dante and Erik sat on chairs against the hallway wall.

"Babe, sit down," N'Jobu said patting the empty chair next to him.

Califia kept checking her cell phone.

"He should've been here by now with them," she said.

"Junie probably got caught in traffic…Califia, please, sit," he said.

Nana's doctor came out of the room.

"You all may go back in. She may be a little lethargic because of the painkillers."

Filing into the room, they surrounded Nana and her hand reached out for Erik.

"It's okay, Nana," Erik said.

His son stood close to her bed and held her hand tight. Dante stroked his mother's forehead.

"They're downstairs! I'm going down to help bring her things up," Califia said.

"I can do that," Dante said.

"It's okay, Daddy. Nana, I'm going to be right back."

Califia leaned over and kissed her grandmother's cheek. Nana touched her arm, and her feeble hands shook. Califia stroked the woman's fingers and left the room.

"N'Jobu…"

Nana's soft voice propelled him to push a chair to her side. Erik stayed standing next to him.

"I'm here Nana…right here," he said.

"Come closer."

Her eyes struggled to focus, and when she finally held his gaze, she gave him a weak smile.

"…tried to stay as long as I could…"

"Nana, just rest. Save your energy."

She blinked several times and her head lifted, her eyes looking above him.

"Nana," Erik whispered.

Her eyes returned to N'Jobu's.

"Take care of my babies—"

A heavy cough shook her thin frame and Dante leaned over from the other side of the bed with a handkerchief. He wiped a bit of spittle from her lips.

"Ma, just rest," Dante said.

Dante clutched her right hand as N'Jobu hung on to her left hand.

"You were always a good son, Dante. I'm so proud of you," she whispered.

Dante's head dropped low and he wiped his watery eyes.

"N'Jobu…"

"Ma'am," N'Jobu answered.

Her breathing grew ragged.

"Take care of them all…please…and, JaJa…"

Erik pressed his face close to hers and N'Jobu let him take Nana's hand. She whispered in Erik's ear and held his hand in a firm grip. Her brow was covered in a light sheen of perspiration and Erik gave her affirmations of "Yes", "Okay", and "Uh-huh."

Eric finally pressed his forehead into hers and she kissed his nose.

"It's okay, Nana. It's okay. I'll tell her…Nana?"

Nana Jean's eyes closed.

Her doctor came back into the room with a nurse by his side. Dante still held Nana's hand.

Califia arrived with Junie and their other cousins.

"Wait! Wait!" Califia shouted.

N'Jobu touched her back as Dante pushed his face into Nana's covers and wept. Erik still held his great-grandmother's hand.

"Nana…Nana…I love you…"

Califia's voice grew soft and they all heard the heart monitor go flat. Nana's doctor turned it off.

"I shouldn't have left…I thought…"

Califia's wet face crumpled and Erik reached for her hand.

"It's okay Mom, I held Nana's hand for you and she said that when I hold her hand on this side, our family who passed on holds it for her on the other side. So when she let go here, they hung on there. See? Don't cry, Mom. She just went over there…to wait for us one day. She told me to hold onto your hand and Baba's too."

"Califia, hey…come here."

N'Jobu held her as she wept in his arms. The crying spread throughout the room and when Erik patted her back, she was able to face her grandmother once more.

"She looks peaceful, doesn't she? "

"She does," N'Jobu replied stroking her back.

They all sat with Nana for over an hour until Dante insisted that they allow the doctor to care for her remains.

"I have calls to make…I need to let the church know…" Dante said.

"I can do all that, Daddy," Califia said.

Dante nodded and they all left the room.

"Give me a minute," Califia said.

She went back into the room with Erik and the Doctor let her hug her grandmother one last time. He watched her touch Nana's thin hair as Erik held Califia's waist.

When she returned to N'Jobu, her spirit had lifted.

"Babe?" he asked.

"I'm good. I just wish I was here when she slipped away. I just needed her to know how much I loved her. How much everything she did for me all my life was…she…she saved me so many times. I tried to thank her every time I visited her these last few days. It didn't feel like it was enough. I wanted her to know my heart was always with her."

"She knew that Mom," Erik said.

Califia nodded and wiped her face. Dante slipped his arm around hers and they left the hospital in a solemn mood.

Erik did his best to cheer Califia up, and it worked. He had her laughing by saying Nana was only upset that she couldn't wear her best wig for the cute doctor.

"Only Nana would worry about looking cute," Califia said.

By the time they made it back to Nana's house most of the family who lived in town had arrived at the home.

Califia and N'Jobu greeted everyone and the family listened to Erik repeat the last words of Nana Jean. There were plenty of Nana stories passed around, and much laughter sprinkled throughout the tears. Dante had a difficult time with the realization that Nana wasn't coming home from a hospital visit this time and Califia rose to the occasion with Junie helping relatives ease into her absence. Phone calls and soft knocks on the front door occurred as neighbors came to pay their respects and give condolences. The Pastor from Nana's church arrived with fellow church members and Junie ran out to buy chicken and sides from a local restaurant to feed the house that was now stuffed with mourners.

A few hours later, N'Jobu went looking for Erik among the hustle and bustle of relatives crowding the house. He found him outside on the steps.

"JaJa."

He sat down next to him and patted his shoulder.

"How are you doing, Son?"

"Fine. I thought I would feel sadder, but, I dunno. Nana made me feel good. Is that weird, Baba?'

"No. Not at all."

"I know Mom is upset that Nana left without her saying goodbye, but I think Nana did that on purpose. Maybe she tried to make it less sad for Mom?"

"Maybe."

Erik looked out onto the street.

"Is there really a heaven, Baba?"

"I believe there is an afterlife, yes. I was raised to believe in a beautiful place. The ancestral plane. You die and return to your ancestors…spend eternity with those who helped create you."

"Even God?"

"Even God. In my country, Bast is a great cosmic energy that is infused in all living beings. You will see Nana again."

"And Lia?"

"She is family. So yes. All of your loved ones who have transitioned will be reunited."

Erik's eyes were shiny, and finally, the tears came. N'Jobu pulled his son against him.

"You were so strong for your mother. Do you know that? You helped Nana cross over in peace."

"I wish she could've stayed with us longer."

"She was very ill, Erik. And in a lot of pain."

"I know. Can she see me right now?"

"I'm sure she can."

"That means no matter where we go, she can be there with us, right?"

"Yes. In spirit."

Erik's chest shuddered. More tears fell.

"Can we move sooner?"

N'Jobu sighed and watched his son's face.

"Soon enough."

"I want to go to Wakanda, Baba. I don't want to live here."

"There will be a lot for me to do before I can take you to Wakanda, Son."

"I know. But I'm ready. Anyplace away from here is good. Will you tell Grandpop now?"

"Your mother will decide that. Now that Nana has gone, I don't know how your grandfather will feel about leaving Oakland."

"I will miss Walter. And Nevaeh."

"They will miss you too. But hopefully, in the future, you can visit with them. There will be so many changes and sacrifices son. There is so much more for you to know in due time. Thank you for being patient with me."

Erik threw his arms around N'Jobu's neck and they sat quietly together. Holding his son, N'Jobu felt emboldened.

"Can we go home now? I think Mom is ready. She looked tired," Erik said.

"C'mon. Let's go check on her," N'Jobu said.

N'Jobu walked back into the house and Califia slipped her hand in his when he stepped into the living room.

"Daddy is resting. Junie and Michelle are staying here with him," she said.

"You want to stay longer?'

"No. We can go. I'll come back over tomorrow. Junie is handling everything. Daddy is letting him too."

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

They bid everyone farewell and returned to their townhouse. When Erik had showered and gone to bed, N'Jobu rested with Califia in their bedroom.

"You think you're ready for things like this, but when it finally happens…it feels so unexpected. I know she wasn't going to be here forever, but she was such a huge part of my life…a huge part of who I am. I miss her so much already."

"You and Erik were her heart and she's in a special place now. You heard what Erik said. Rest in that love."

"I will. I will."

He stroked her hair and held her hand against his chest.

"When should we prepare to leave for good?" she asked

"The next three months. We should begin sorting and packing. Not a lot, but things you want to take with us," he said.

She nodded.

"Do you want to sell the house?" he asked.

"No. I'd like to let Junie or Michelle stay here and take care of it. Keep it in the family. My father may want to sell Nana's house. Now that she's gone, it may be easier to convince him to come with us. We have options. No rush though."

"Erik is so ready," he said.

"I am too."

He stared at her. She ran her fingers across his naked chest and pressed her cheek against his.

"I feel this surge of movement in me. Like I can't sit still…this need to move far away is swirling in me. It's not even about going to Wakanda, but just getting away from everything, taking Erik someplace where he can be free. Be a child for as long as we can let him be one."

She lifted her head to look at him.

"You do whatever you have to do to make that happen for him."

"I will."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

She dozed in his arms and he spent the rest of the night listening to her deep breathing.

###

Sao Paulo felt different.

There was crackling energy in the air.

Califia felt it all around her.

As she walked the streets with her father and Erik, their energy was different too. Although Nana's death was months ago, their family had bounced back into joy again being around Soliel, Aunjanue, Marisol, and Besouro.

So much eating. So much drinking.

Capoeira.

She couldn't record enough video of her father and Soliel's father playing with Erik and Marisol. Her fingers were blistered from drumming and playing the berimbau as her son flipped and fought with the best mestres on the planet. Their world seemed even more complete when Bakari joined them with Shavonne.

For once, Califia's soul was at ease. N'Jobu was there with them. Even with Nana Jean gone now, life was perfect.

They rented a little house near Soliel and her family, and N'Jobu quit his job. He created fake reports to be sent to Wakanda, and they lived it up in Brazil. He allowed her to listen in on some of his secret talks with his War Dogs even though she didn't know the language. He hid nothing from her.

Their temporary home in Sao Paulo was small, but Califia and Soliel had planning meetings for the big march there. Activists were fired up, and not just for Negra Lia. Three more police brutality cases had occurred in the states and another in Sao Paulo where a young teen was killed in her own yard when the Sao Paulo policia federal bullied and threatened smaller groups of protestors trying to support the upcoming larger march. Chasing young people through the streets, the policia federal shot bullets that struck the girl in her own yard. The child wasn't even part of the protest, just playing in her own yard and minding her own business.

The city was ripe for change. Not just in Sao Paulo, but everywhere.

Califia and Erik watched groups of Maori protestors doing sacred Haka for Black people killed in the United States. Indigenous people from Australia pointed out their own history of white and state violence against their own aboriginal people. It was a global pandemic of police violence against black and other non-white people everywhere.

Erik tried mimicking the Haka that he saw, and went online to learn more about it. It was the ferocity in the Maori people's eyes that enamored Erik. Especially when the Maori women did the Haka. The exaggerated rolling of eyeballs, the strong slaps to the chest and legs, the tongues thrust out and the loud shouts invigorated them both. The brandishing of the short patu clubs made Erik's eyes shiny with admiration.

"It looks like they are calling all the Gods in the world to come down!" he said in an excited voice as he shared video clips with her.

The fight was happening everywhere, and Sao Paulo was on the verge of exploding with the calls for justice floating around them. The kinetic energy to force change rippled through Califia's family.

She felt it from N'Jobu most of all.

When Erik was fast asleep, N'Jobu would be between her legs, his grunts and groans behind gritted teeth and fisted hands made her orgasms so intense she couldn't even see straight. They fucked like they were in college again, so much so that poor Erik made it a point to go for long walks away from the house in the morning because they were so loud.

Tangled up in sweaty sheets every morning, Califia would hold onto N'Jobu as his sated body pressed all his weight on top of her. He didn't even speak English to her when they made love now. The language of his homeland dripped from his lips and into her ears, and when he pulsed inside of her, all thick and juicy, the contractions of her body overwhelmed her.

They were blessed.

She was turned on by the aggression in his voice when he spoke to his followers. Rubbing his shoulders when he barked orders over his secured comm tab gave her a small glimpse of what he must be like when he was in Wakanda. The way the other Wakandan voices capitulated to him made her panties wet. She couldn't help it. Nothing on God's green earth was sexier to her than a man with total confidence and bass in his voice. He had even started wearing his gold panther teeth openly around them. The moment he shook off pretending to be a barber, she saw him step back into who he really was. It took her back to the time when she saw him in D.C., the time when she and Bakari saw him in his full glory.

Sometimes, when Erik was away with Marisol, Califia would lay in bed and listen to N'Jobu conduct his secret meetings online. If he sat in a particular chair in their small living room, she could leave the bedroom door open and watch his profile. His face was…fuck…his face was everything. His voice was everything. The clicks and growls from his language had her fingers busy flicking her clit and manipulating her soaked folds. She would pat her vulva and watch him, feeling the slick of her fingers get wetter the more he spoke. Covering her mouth with her hand, she would hide her intense release so as not to disturb him. This, in turn, would make her want to serve him.

She was compelled to be subservient to him.

Pussy dripping, she'd often walk into the room while he spoke and bring him things. Water. Snacks. She'd sit near his legs on the floor and rub his feet for him, or stand behind him and massage his scalp. She once was bold enough to wear nothing but his t-shirt while kneeling before him and taking his dick in her mouth. He muted the communications that day and allowed her to suck all up and down his erection while reports were given to him. When the call ended, he stayed in that dominant role. Barking orders at her to suck harder, take his length deeper. With those gold teeth in his mouth and that regal bearing of his just sitting in an ordinary chair, Califia saw him as more than a Prince. He was her King. She was more than ready to bow down to him.

He forced her to climb onto his dick and he sat back and made her work him over. He didn't move a muscle and she rocked and swiveled her hips, her smooth vulva so sticky with fluid from her own body. His dark eyes raked up and down her body and she whimpered as her pussy gushed all over his dick. His face looked hard, mean in his sexy way and she knew for a fact that he expected her to obey his commands to fuck him good. The brat in her came out, and when she switched up her wiggling and it displeased him, he reached up and yanked on her hair.

She bounced on him and he loosened his grip on her braids, but then she slowed down and he grabbed her throat. His heated gaze told her he was upset with her behavior on his dick and once he began talking to her with clenched teeth in Wakandan, she held still and listened. He still didn't move under her, and the raised anger in his voice spurred her to higher levels of bratty behavior: she broke eye contact with him.

A big no-no.

N'Jobu pulled her off of his girth and pushed her down onto his lap. His palm spanked the brat out of her until she was crying tears of torturous pleasure.

"Fuck me right!" He demanded.

She lifted up from lying across his lap, her ass cheeks hot with exquisite pain. He leaned back in the chair again and didn't assist her crawling back on top of him.

She bounced on him the way a King deserved to be served, his pants punctuating his own pleasure. The tipping point came for him when he watched her pussy clench around him and he gripped her waist tight and finally thrust up into her. She hung onto him as he cursed at her in Wakandan until he seized up and spurted hard and deep.

He made her lick all her juices from his dick before demanding that she sit on his lap while he took more calls. He fingered her pussy the entire time and dared her to make one sound as he did. She kept quiet and he punished her folds with frisky fingers for hours, only releasing her when they heard Erik returning from Soliel's.

He was everything and more to her, and he fell right into his royal status with her supporting that authoritarian energy.

Bakari joined her at the planning meetings for Lia's protest march. They were three days from the actual march and had already hit a snag. The police wanted to know the march routes ahead of time, and the core leaders were reluctant to give them.

"We could give them fake routes," Califia suggested, "or just a half-assed map."

"There's no way to control how many people show up. Or who will follow a sanctioned route," Soliel said.

Erik sat next to her as the fifteen adults in the room murmured among themselves on what to do. They needed a permit to fill the streets but many didn't want the authorities to know all their moves. At that moment, their permit was being held up.

Besouro stood next to Soliel, his face carrying a scowl.

"We march against our enemy and we have to give them a map of our plans?" he snapped.

Many agreed with him.

Califia stared at Soliel. Since Lia's death, she had taken on the role of community leader filling the huge vacuum Lia left behind. She could see the stress and worry on her sister's face. Aunjanue walked into the house with two more women from the community.

"There are policia federals outside," she said.

Califia and Bakari went to her windows and looked out. An unmarked car was parked down the street. Two white men dressed in jeans and soccer shirts walked across the street giving occasional glances to the house. A light-skinned woman stood next to another car talking on a cell phone, but she was no one Califia had ever seen before. N'Jobu swept the house for bugs every time they left their temporary home, so she wasn't worried about them hearing what was said inside.

She checked her own cell and let N'Jobu know the house had eyes on it. He had gone to get food for the meeting with her father and was due to return soon.

Bakari turned to look at the group.

"The eyes of the world will be on these marches. We know that there will be many around the world marching in solidarity. I say give them the routes so we can get the permit. The routes won't matter. If they plan on targeting any of you, it will be in front of the world," Bakari said.

Soliel glanced over at Erik.

"I don't think children should be there," Soliel said.

"What?"

Erik's voice piped up fast. He had been silent for most of the meeting, taking in all the ideas and suggestions.

"I want to march," he said looking up at Califia.

"I agree with Soliel. We use our children to do our battles with us and they end up getting hurt or traumatized. We should tell everyone to keep them at home. Just adults," Aunjanue said.

"Mom…that's not fair," Erik whined.

"JaJa, nephew, you are brave and strong and we all know you loved your Auntie. But these police are beasts here. They murdered a girl already—"

"Aunjanue…"

Califia gave a stern look to her friend.

"Cali, our children deserve to be children. Not warriors," she said.

"I agree," Bakari said.

"Man…"

Erik pouted and he sat back further in his seat crossing his arms.

"I'm not letting Marisol go," Soliel said, "It's too dangerous."

"Mom—"

"Erik, let the grown-ups talk. You are here to just listen right now," Califia said.

"We just want to protect you, Erik," Bakari said.

"You can't protect us all the time. That girl who died was at home. She wasn't in the streets. They will get us no matter where we are. I know you guys don't want me to see violence or get hurt, but I've already seen the worst of it. I was there when Auntie died. I was there when they bombed the street. They kill us here, and they kill us back where I live. I'm not scared to die. I want them to see that. I'm a kid, but I'm already a warrior. Mom, you raised me to be a fighter. Why would you make me sit in the house?"

"Because you are my son, and I want you to live to become an adult. I know you want to show your love for Lia, but this could get ugly—"

"It ain't fair…it ain't fair!"

Erik jumped out of his seat.

"JaJa."

N'Jobu's voice froze Erik in mid-stride.

Bakari walked over and took bags of food from N'Jobu as Dante walked through the meeting group carrying more bags to the kitchen. Califia reached out for Erik and pulled him back toward her and hugged him around his waist.

N'Jobu took in the room, and then his eyes fell back onto his son.

"There is a time for children to be children and a time for children to become adults. My, son, this is the time for you to be our child—"

"Baba—"

N'Jobu held up his hand.

"You will not go to the march, JaJa. Not this time," he said.

Califia felt Erik's body shake with anger and disappointment. She stood up and held his hand.

"C'mon…come with me," she said pulling him toward his room. N'Jobu followed her and closed the bedroom door. Erik turned and faced them both with his fists clenched.

"You said I could march before we came here," Erik said.

"That was before all the other killings," N'Jobu said.

"They kill us all the time. It doesn't matter—"

"You matter to us," Califia reasoned.

"And Lia mattered to me. All of us. I want to go. If you are both there, it'll be okay."

Erik's face wavered between wanting to cry and being full of hot anger.

"Baby, Lia would want you to be safe. Not going to the march doesn't mean you won't show the world that you care about justice…it's just that our children suffer so much trying to prove their humanity too, and you don't need that pressure. The adults need to do the hard work so you don't have to. I think you're worried that you'll disappoint Lia's memory, but you won't. Things have shifted in a serious way and these cops down here JaJa, they can be worse than the ones at home—"

"All cops are bad, Mom. No matter where they are. You say that all the time. They are all the same."

"I know I say that, and it's true, but the level of hate for us because she has been elevated in the world along with so many others…it's going to be tougher to keep you safe."

"Then you shouldn't go either."

Califia looked over at N'Jobu.

"We will go and you will stay. You can be mad. Upset. You can even feel angry with us for a long time afterward, but we make decisions for you because we know what is best. We love you. We protect you. We shape the world for you, my Son. Allow us to do this. In the future, you can march with us, but right now…for this particular event—"

N'Jobu's kimoyo beads lit up.

Erik stepped closer to them as they all watched the subtle glow of lavender on N'Jobu's wrist. N'Jobu held a finger to his lips and tapped a bead.

They heard the stern voice of a woman speaking rapid-fire Wakandan.

N'Jobu spoke to her and it sounded like he was giving orders. The call was short and when N'Jobu touched his beads again, his face looked determined.

"Klaue will be in Wakanda. Next week."

His eyes held Califia's and she felt a rush of adrenaline. They would leave for Malta soon.

"We're leaving?" Erik asked.

N'Jobu touched Erik's shoulder.

"Soon enough. JaJa—"

"Okay…okay, Baba. I won't go to the march."

Califia gave a sigh of relief. She couldn't focus on the work of organizing if she had to battle her son too.

"Thank you," Califia said to her son.

N'Jobu hugged Erik and pulled Califia in close too.

"Hey, we're ready to eat if you guys want to join us."

Bakari's voice rang out behind the bedroom door.

"Here we come," Califia said.

They walked out as a solid unit and enjoyed plates of steak and rice with the other organizers.

Soliel designed a mock-up of the protest route on her laptop and N'Jobu kept his eyes on Califia the rest of the night. They allowed Erik to stay among the adults and she was glad that he accepted not participating. She kept peeking out of the window with Aunjanue.

The undercover police were still lingering.

Soliel gathered the activists back into the living room and had three of them stand before the group wearing black coverings over their mouths and white paper pinned to their chests with black target rings painted on it.

"Lia always said we will always be a target if we don't speak out. This is what some of us will be wearing to the march. What do you all think?" Soliel said.

The others nodded their approval and someone suggested holding their hands bound in front of them to show that they were still treated like slaves.

It was going to be a long night.

She kissed Erik on his forehead and held him closer to her body.

Chapter 29 HERE.

###

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@thewaysheis—awkward

[my-emotional-self]

The Soulmates Part 2

Mood Board by the wonderful @princess-evans-addict​

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: swearing, past talks of domestic abuse, mentions of physical assault, drug use

Summary: Being born with the words of two soulmates was rare, and you were one of them.  You had no idea that when you started a new job as Pepper Potts’ personal assistant you would end up finding both of your soulmates.  Things start off great, but what happens when Steve and Bucky find out about your double life and your side job?

You were still on the floor, dazed from everything that just happened when the sound of a pair of heels were heard down the hallway.  

“Rosalie?” Pepper’s concerned voice filled your ears.  

Steve and Bucky each lent a hand to you.  With a weak smile, you placed your hands in theirs as they lifted you from the floor; it felt like electricity jolting through your body at their touch.  

Just then, Pepper appeared, worry etched on her face.  “Oh my god are you alright Rosalie?”  She took in your flustered appearance, along with your shirt and face being drenched in water.  “What happened?”

“It was my fault Pepper,” Steve spoke up.  “We were both rounding the corner and I wasn’t paying attention and we kind of collided.  I spilt my water on her and she fell down.”

“Are you hurt at all doll?” Bucky asked, the coy little pet name sending shivers down your spine as you turned to look at him; his brows scrunched together.  

You quickly shook your head. “I’m-I’m okay.  Really,” you stammered out quickly.  “I just-I just have to get these to Bruce. Excuse me.” With rapid pace, you turned on your heels and scurried off towards the elevators to get to the lab.  

Once inside, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.  “Is this really happening?” you said aloud to nobody but yourself.  You had just found not one of your soulmates, but both of them.  Never in your life had you dreamed this would have happened; you just weren’t lucky enough in the cards that were dealt to you that was your so called life.  You did everything you could to try and have a somewhat decent life growing up, even with your parents the way they were.  You went to school and got good grades; helped your siblings out with their homework; stayed out of your parents’ ways.  But the dream of finding your soulmates was lost to you at a very young age. Now, you didn’t know what to do.  

~~~

Bruce was very thankful that you delivered the papers to him, but now you had to go back to your office and you were nervous.  You had to admit, the moment you turned and walked away from your soulmates, you felt a tug at your chest; your heart wanting you to stay close to them now that you finally found both of them.  But at the same time, you were nervous, scared even to let them in.  

It had been that way for you ever since your senior year of high school six years ago when your parents and siblings died in a car accident.  They were all going out for ice cream that night, of course except for you, but you were used to that by then.  But it was your dad who was going to be driving and he had been drinking all day. You begged your mother for her to drive, but she didn’t listen.  Instead, you had a black eye from your fathers backhand and a police officer at your door later that night tell you that your family had perished; all because your dad drove while intoxicated.  

Ever since that day, there was a wall built up around you.  Sure, you were friendly none the less and you loved how easily you got along with Pepper, but that was all on the outside; on the inside you kept to yourself, not caring to talk about your past.  

Yet here you were, stuck between a rock and a hard place.  You had not one, but two soulmates in your life now.  

As you made your way back to your office, you kept thinking about what life would be like with them, the thoughts giving you an immediate headache.  While you were grateful to have found them, it was also a lot to take in. Hell, it was your first day on the job and you were just getting used to things moving in the right direction for you!

Back in your office, you quickly got to typing up reports for Pepper, needing to keep your mind preoccupied for the time being.  Before long, Pepper came into your office, a smile on her face.  “It’s time for lunch.  We catered in from a really amazing Italian restaurant.  Let’s head to the kitchen before Steve and Bucky eat it all.”

At the mention of your soulmates names, your heart leapt in your chest.  As much as it was overwhelming, there was also that need to get to know them; that pull.

The food smelt amazing when you walked into the kitchen.  Sure enough, Steve and Bucky were already sat down at the table with plates full of pasta and pizza.  You couldn’t help but see out of the corner of your eye, Bucky nudge Steve, making Steve look in your direction.  You could feel both their eyes on you as you turned your back to them, plating a slice of pizza for yourself.  

“I know you guys already bumped into each other earlier, but this is Rosalie Smith,” Pepper began to introduce you to Steve and Bucky once you two sat down across from them.  “She is my new personal assistant.  We all know I could use all the help what with me planning the wedding and all.”  It was all over the news last week; Tony Stark and Pepper Potts getting married. You thought it was about time that someone like Tony had settled down.  

Shyly, you smiled at the two super soldiers across from you, nodding your head.  

“I wanted to apologize again for earlier Rosalie,” Steve spoke, your name coming from his lips sending a shiver down your spine.  

You waved him off with a response, “It’s quite alright Captain Rogers.  No harm done at all.”

His lips tugged up to the side; his cheeks blushing.  “Please, call me Steve.”

Throughout the rest of lunch, you kept peaking up and looking at your soulmates.  What you found was utterly beautiful.  You could see the love Bucky and Steve had for each other; it was practically oozing out of their pores.  It made you somewhat jealous; that they had each other their whole lives, well, when they were younger at least and then after Bucky was found by Steve.  

Knowing the history of Captain America and Sargent James Barnes was a part of every schools history curriculum.  If you were being honest, you loved reading up on their history all throughout school; you found it fascinating.  And now, as fate would have it, they were your soulmates.  

~~~ Later that day you were finishing up your work when you looked at the clock, realizing you were done for the day. Grabbing your purse, there was a soft knock on the door and you whipped your head up to see who it was.  Lo and behold, it was Steve and Bucky; both smiling at you.  

“Hey there doll,” Bucky began to speak.  “Stevie and I were wondering if we could take you out tonight to dinner to get to know one another.”

Your eyes grew wide at his question.  Sure, there was very small chit chat at lunch earlier, but after seeing how happy both Bucky and Steve looked together, you figured they didn’t want you as their soulmate; that they were happy enough with just the two of them.  That thought nagged the back of your head for the rest of the day before finally realizing that you would be just fine with that. Yeah, you were lucky enough to meet your soulmates, but you didn’t want to intrude on their happiness.  

“No,” the word tumbled from your mouth.  

“No?” Both of your soulmates said at the same time; their arms folded across their chests as their brows were furrowed with confusion.  

You inhaled a deep breath. “Wait-what?”

Steve chuckled, shaking his head.  “We want to take you out to dinner tonight Rosalie.  We want to get to know our other soulmate.”

Your heart rate increased as you wiped your sweaty palms over your jeans.  “You-you WANT to get to know me?”

“Of course we do.  We didn’t think we would ever find you.”

You looked down at your lap, shaking your head.  “I thought-I thought maybe you guys were happy enough without me.  I saw how genuinely happy you two were at lunch and I thought maybe you didn’t want me to be a part of that.”

The two soldiers rushed into the room, each of them kneeling on one side of you.  “Doll,” Bucky said, his flesh hand placed tenderly on your arm. “We’ve been dreaming of this day for years.  We knew we could never be complete without you.”

You felt your chin begin to tremble and you took a deep breath, looking up to the ceiling as you didn’t want to cry in front of Bucky and Steve.  Your whole life you had to be strong, for yourself, and now it felt like your walls were beginning to crumble just being around Bucky and Steve; you weren’t ready for that yet.  

“Umm, that’s really sweet. But-but I actually have plans tonight. I’m sorry,” you whispered the last part.

“Oh,” both men spoke and you could hear the sadness in their voices.  

“Yeah, I umm, I actually get together a few times a week with some friends of mine and tonight is one of those nights.”  While you did have something planned for tonight, you didn’t have any friends, but it was an easy lie you used many times in the past.

Steve let out a sigh next to you.  “What about tomorrow night?”

You didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow night, but you were still scared; scared about how drastic your life was going to change from here on out.  For so long you’ve been on your own and while it was lonely, you had grown used to it.  But now you had both of your soulmates and they wanted to be with you.  You were going to have to take things slow.  

Taking a deep breath, you nodded your head.  “Tomorrow sounds great.”

~~~

By the time Daniel dropped you back off at home, you didn’t have much time to get ready for the night; there was a bad accident and you were stuck in traffic a lot longer than you wanted to be.  Quickly you opened up the drawers of your dresser and pulled out an outfit for that night, along with a black bobbed wig.  Rushing into the bathroom you grabbed your makeup bag off the counter before locking up and heading back onto the streets of New York City.  

Looking at the time on your phone, you cursed under your breath knowing you were already five minutes late.  Luckily, where you were going was only four blocks away from your apartment so you hauled ass.  

Stopping in front of the building, you caught your breath before heading towards the back and knocking on the door.  

“You’re late,” Tommy barked as he opened the door for you.  He wasn’t a man you wanted to fuck with.  Granted, he took you in to help you out, he wasn’t someone you wanted to cross or he would send his men after you.  You learned that the hard way when you had to call in sick one night as you had food poisoning.  He sent his men to visit you the next day and after they left, leaving you with a few bruises, you never called in sick again.  Every day you came into work, you were terrified of Tommy, but after your first dance of the night, that always ebbed away when you saw how happy he was.

Scurrying by the balding man, you replied, “I know.  I’m sorry.”

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head.  “You’re lucky I like you kid and you are only a few minutes late.  Get ready.  You’re on after Darla.”

Giving him a smile, you made your way to your vanity set; the music thrumming through your veins as you felt your body release all tension and relax.  You changed into a pair of black fishnet stockings, a black thong over that and a hot pink t-shirt that you cut so short you could see the underside of your breasts when your arms were raised.  

Putting on your black wig, you smoked out your eyes with black eyeshadow before grabbing a cigarette and lighting it.  Closing your eyes, you took a deep drag before blowing it through your lips; opening your eyes to look at yourself in the mirror.  

“Looking good kid,” Tommy said with a wink, setting down a small mirror with white lines on it.  “Have at it.”

You give him a sinful smile, giving him your cigarette to hold as you plugged one nostril with your finger and inhale the line on the mirror.  “Mmmm,” you sighed in happiness as the cocaine high took over your body almost immediately.  

Tommy handed you back your cigarette as you smoked it down quickly, knowing you only had mere minutes before taking the stage.  

Stubbing out the butt of the cigarette, you could hear the DJ begin to talk into the microphone. “And now, what you all have been waiting for, Nikita!”  Once you heard your stage name, you knew it was time.

Standing up, you strutted your way out of the room and onto the stage in your seven inch heels. Glancing around the main room, you smiled to yourself at how packed it was tonight; you were going to make good money tonight.  

With the cocaine high rushing through your body, you felt even the confidence coursing through your body. The stage is where you felt like you belonged.  There was something about you that when you put on your outfit and wig, you come alive; and you loved this feeling.  

Lana Del Rey’s ‘Gods and Monsters’ came over the speakers as you placed your hand on the pole in front of you.

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[snowrubies]

Vibrations

MomoxSana

You know there are just some things that Momo thought she would never do like go to space, suddenly combust, or step foot in an adult store. There's a first for everything it seems because Momo was standing right outside of "Eve's Paradise" an exclusively female sex shop.

She wasn't dared to do this or just happened upon it. No, she was here of her own free will, and for a reason. Her career has been largely successful over the last few years. She was swimming in popularity, but her love life was seriously lacking. Not a single person man or woman had asked her out even, on account of the fear of being attacked by the fans for 'taking their precious baby Momo away'

So, that's why she was here. Screw love life. She hadn't been able to have an orgasm in months. She was literally rotting away because of the largest drought ever. No, drought doesn't even cut it anymore. It is like being in the Sahara Desert for five years without water. She needed an orgasm, or twelve, and she needed it yesterday

She walked through the door a little nervous that someone would recognize her through the contacts and wig. What a mess that would be. 'Pop Star seen in a lesbian sex shop'. The lighting was scarce at best. There were a few rooms at the back labeled 'Private, see associate for entry'. An accurate description of the walls would be like a candy shop that only sold suckers. The walls were labeled with things like Venus butterflies, vibrators, strap-ons, BDSM accessories, and not your average sex toys. A sales women came up to her, quite enthusiastically, and said "Welcome to Eve's Paradise is there anything specific that you are looking for".

Once Momo gathered her pride and smashed it with a hammer, she said "I just...nnneed something."

The sales women looked like she pitied her. "Oh, honey. Tell Moonbyul what's wrong."

She couldn't find what to say to her. She couldn’t just say 'I'm a famous pop star that hasn't been on a date in years and really needs a good orgazm.' "I'm in a drought." She settled on telling her.

Oh, ok. Do you have any preferences?"

She did and that was the problem. She needed something different. Something that she didn't already have in her growing collection of sex toys. " I need something different."

Moonbyul immediately steered her toward the section labeled 'not your average sex toys.' She pulled out a box and asked "How do you feel about pain?" The box was full of clamps.

Momo was appalled that someone could like such a thing. She shook her head no."Alright then. How do you feel about giving up control? "

Momo's eyes popped up at the suggestion. She wondered how that could work since she had to do it herself. " Oh, yes. You like that idea. So, now the question is how...OH! That'll work. How about phone sex?"

Momo was unamused, "I don't think that will solve my problem." She could just do that herself for free. Millions of people would give there lives for such an experience with her.

"No, dear. This is no ordinary vibrator. It will definitely work." She handed Momo the box.

The title read 'magic act'. She read the back of the box,'Do you want that magical moment? Are you tired of the ordinary? The the magic act vibrator and headset is for you. This device comes in two parts, a six inch silicone vibrator and a wireless headset. This device has no controls or an on switch. You have no control over it, but someone else does. You simply have to put on the headset, push the button below the left ear, and wait.' Momo was intrigued by this. She smiled a little, and Moonbyul steered her over to the cash register. "That'll be 159.96. And thank you for shopping at Eve's Paradise. May all your endings be pleasure filled."

And that is how she ended up here. Momo was sitting on her bed cross-legged staring at the box. 'why did I even do this? This a new low even for me... But it can't be that bad right? I'm kinda desperate.' She grabbed the box and opened it. She pulled out the headset first, which looked surprisingly exactly like her head microphone she would wear for performances sometimes mixed with headphones. She pulled out the vibrator next. It was no different than any of her others except for a small wire running down the middle.'That's probably how it's controlled.' She then pulled out a very little piece of paper labeled directions. She read, "1. Put on headset. 2. Get comfortable. 3. Push the button under the left ear. 4. Wait. Well that seems simple enough." She grabbed the headset. Put it on. Laid down on her bed. Pushed the button and waited. It only took a few seconds..

"Hello." A very confident, feminine voice sounded through the headset.

" Umm...hi?" Momo was terribly nervous. She'd done it by herself many times, but adding a different person was nerve-wracking.

She heard a little restrained giggle. " You sound nervous."

" I've nnnever done this before." Oh great now I am stuttering. She probably thinks I'm a little virginal girl sitting here in white who just mistakenly turned this thing on.

" Really? Not even with a girlfriend?"

"wha - girlfriend?! Why would I..." This woman was obviously very blunt. I suppose you would have to be in her line of work.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you would have been into girls given the circumstances."

" That's not... No I mean I really do...But just so bluntly...I.."

She giggled again."You sound so cute. So, in the interest of getting to know you, how about we play a game? She you don't feel so awkward hmm?"

Relived for a change in subject Momo said, "That sounds like a great idea. What do you-"

The woman interupted her. "Let's play truth or dare. I'll go first. Let's start with something harmless. How do you like to be touched?"

Momo's eyes went wide, "That doesn't seem harmless to me."

"It'll be very useful for me later, but you could always go with a dare."

This woman had such arogance in her voice it made Momo shiver. "I think that would be much worse. Hmm...let's see. I guess...I like...light teasing touches." This was quite possibly the most embarrassing thing she had ever done. She was just waiting for her to laugh.

"hmm...so you like being teased. I'll remember that."

That shocked the embarrassment right out of Momo. This woman was positively wicked. "I guess it's my turn. What would you do i-"

"I choose dare."

"But I didn't even finish my question. Hmf." She pouted.

"Now, now. Good girls don't pout and whine darling."

"How do you know I was pouting? Fine. I dare you to tell me where you are."

There was a short pause,"I'm not supposed to tell you that, but my house in Korea." She wispered the last part. "Now, as for light touches, might I ask where you like thoes touches?"

"You may not."

She clicked her tongue a few times." How am I supposed to help you darling if I don't know where to touch."

" I'm sure you could figure it out." She sure as hell wasn't going to tell this woman specifics.

" Is that a challenge?"

You could almost be certain that she was smirking. Momo didn't respond to her.

"Challenge accepted. Lay down, close your eyes and let me do all the work. Don't be afraid to tell me what you like."

Momo did as she was told. She heard rather than saw the vibrator move towards her face. She breathed in and out feeling like a nervous child. Her earlier nervousness had been replaced with a new sensation. She couldn’t focus on anything other than the anticipation.

She wondered what this woman looked like. She seemed young, fairly cocky, but somehow graceful.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of circles being drawn on her stomach. "How does that feel?"

Momo unconsciously opened her legs a bit. The rod slowly made it's way up her body between her breasts. She wanted to rip her clothes off and feel these delicious little vibrations right on her skin, but she was left immobile after the first touch.

The rod moved past her breasts and rested on her pulse point for a while. "That feels good."

A smug laugh, "See, now was that so hard?"

Momo could picture this phantom woman above her now. Her soft hands in her hair while she sucked on her pulse point and collar bone. She wished she would go lower, even just a little bit.

"Take off your top darling, if it is still on. You might as well get rid of the bottoms as well. Save us some time." You could hear the shuffling on the other end of the line.

Momo was quite glad at the moment that she didn't wear a bra today. It just made it that much easier and faster. The cool air pricked at her overheated skin. She felt that just a single touch could make her explode. The rod moved slowly over to her mouth. Momo didn't and still doesn't know why, but she took that rod right into her mouth.

"You are beautiful." the woman said almost as if she knew what she'd done.

The rod moved down to her collar bone. She let out a strangled little moan. She felt like she was going to die and they hadn't even gotten to the sensitive bits yet.

"No. If you are going to moan, let me hear it. Don't restrain yourself."

When that rod made it's way down to her breasts, she didn't restrain herself. She would only draw cirles around them. She started pleading the woman to touch her nipples. "Hmg...please." She couldn’t bring herself to actually say it.

"Now darling, how am I supposed to know what you are pleading for if you don't tell me? You must tell me clearly and extra points if it's done dirtily."

She didn't want to, but she couldn't take it. " I want you to touch me."

"But where and how, my darling?"

Darn. She couldn’t get away with just that. " I...I want...I want you to...touch...my-"

" Your what darling?" She moved the rod dangerously close to her nipple then pulled it away.

She exploded. " Damn it! I want you to touch my nipples! I want you to touch me, fuck me, just do it for the love of God!"

" I give that answer a solid 6. You can do better than that." She ran the rod so lightly over Momo's nipple, so she could hardly feel it.

Looks like she'll have to bring out the big guns. " Ohhh god. Please touch my nipples. Make them red and raw. Don't stop there though. I want you to feel how wet I am for you. I want you to fuck me hard. I need you to." Momo could hear heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

Pant "You are" Pant " doing this wrong. I am supposed to be arousing you." She swallowed hard. " 10 dear. A solid 10."

"hmm!" She could finally feel those glorious vibrations on her nipples.

" I want you to imagine my lips. Right there."

Oh and she could. Just imagining her tongue rapping around her stiff rosy nipples was turning her into a moaning mess. She couldn’t stop the waves of euphoria traveling straight to her core. She wanted to see this woman desperately.

The vibrator abandoned her nipples and went down to where her panties should have been, if they hadn't have been violently torn off earlier. Momo shuddered at the fact that soon she would be feeling these vibrations in criminal places.

"Should I do it? Are you ready to be fucked?"

She didn't answer. It slowly, agonizingly kept going down.

" I would positively love to run my tongue over your gorgeous pussy. Sing for me angle." She just barely touched her clit a pulled away.

"Ahhh? Why did you stop?"

"I plan to stick to what I said . Remember? You like being teased." She ran it over her clit a little harder this time.

"Ahhh! Please more." She greatly regretted tell her she liked to be teased.

She moved the rod in a line from the bottom of her slit all the way up to her clit. " Oh darling surely you didn't lie to me, but it seems like you want things a little rougher." To further prove her point she pushed down on her clit hard.

Momo let out an ear shattering scream. Surely the neighbors heard her. Thank God the members weren't home. "What whould you do if I said I did?"

"It is my job to pleasure you princess. I would do whatever it is that will make you scream."

The tip just barley lined her entrance. She moaned loudly, and then it slipped inside her, easily, dripping with her natural lubricant. She heard a rather feminine squeal from the other side of the line. At least she knew she wasn't alone.

She wonered if this was a regular occurrence or something reserved solely for this particular call, something that had never happened before.

"You're beautiful."

Momo exhaled. "You – You don't know that."

"You're beautiful," she repeated.

She had neither the time nor the focus to argue her point. She could feel the vibrations deep inside her. She grabbed the corners of her bed with both hands, steadying herself as the device surged in and out. The first few times, it went all the way in and then all the way out, teasing her and testing her. She was grinding her teeth, aching for release, aching for the moment her senses would come together and then fall apart.

The device move around inside her. Hitting her at different angles until Momo let out a high pitched squeal.

" There it is." Her mystery woman said.

Once she found that spot within her it was all over. She pounder her hard making sure to hit that spot every time. She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew she needed something harder, darker, and faster, and lord she was giving it to her.

Momo dug her nails into the bed as she slid in and out of her. The force combined with the second-by-second collision of what was happening and the possibility of more, had her delirious. There was only the growing chance that one of these thrusts would eventually unravel her from the bottom up.

She breathed out, moaning and gasping for dear life.

She hoped these sounds turned her on. She hoped these sounds drove her over the edge of no return.

She hoped these sounds would ingrain themselves into the depths of her memory, where she'd be forced to remember this night, where she'd be forced to remember her.

In the mist of all of this, she felt a little glimmer in her stomach. A little ember that was being fanned into a wildfire that exploded every nerve in her body.

Momo tossed her head back, knocking the daylights out of her as she slammed it against her bed. She cried out – chest heaving and heart racing – caught in wave after wave of rapturous triumph. Her face and hair was covered in sweat. She shook and quivered and practically bit a hole through her bottom lip.

The feeling consumed her wholly, so much so that she barely registered her partner's mirroring reaction.

The world came crashing down moments latter. She was still Momo the famous pop idol. She was still in her room. She was still in a call with a stranger that turned her inside out.

She could hear the woman's breathing calm down. This stranger. She could easily be a stalker, or a murderer. The thought scared her but excited her all the same.

"It's technically against the rules to ask this, but I would love to do this again. My darling baby Momo."

That's it. Her life was over. Might as well hand in her resignation now. She knew, and there is no way anyone would keep quiet about this. " I beg you. Please don't say anything about this."

She laughed a little. " Momo you are so dense. This could ruin me to. Actually, I am quite surprised that you don't recognize my voice. Goodnight my little song bird."

"WAIT!!!" She had already ended the call. "Shoot, I didn't even get her name. How could this ruin her? I'm the famous pop star here. Oh, the headlines tomorrow will be atrocious."

Momo was interrupted from her panic by her cell phone ringing. "Oh a text."

Sana:

Momo, make sure you turn off the headset to save battery life.

" There is no fucking way."

[honeybammie]

every day & always › jeon jungkook › pt.2

↳ part one, part three  ↳ when the time comes for jungkook to take over his father’s role in the min gang, he has second thoughts about the man he wants to be, but you’ll do everything in your power to make him stay.  ↳ mafia!au jungkook, angst  ↳ wc: 4,893 ↳ note: i forgot that i meant to post a new part today until like 10 minutes ago so this isn’t edited and i am posting from my phone so i’ll have to go back and fix some things later i’m srry

Yoongi returned the following afternoon, having spent the previous couple of days checking on some of our assets on the outskirts of the city. I heard him whistling down the hall before he waltzed into my office, brown paper bag in hand. His relaxed shoulders meant he would have no bad news, which I was thankful for. Since Jungkook had left the day before, I couldn’t stop wondering what he was going to do.

“You know that whistling shit creeps me out,” I said to my brother, who came right up to my desk and sat on the ledge, welcoming himself to a cigarette. “What’s in the bag? A severed hand?”

He set it in front of me, covering the paper I had been writing. “Open it and find out.”

I glared at him, but he only jerked his head toward the bag. There was no distinct flesh smell filling the room, so I took my chances and glanced down inside. Takeout. A plastic container with noodles and beef inside.

“You’re not funny,” I told him while removing the contents and throwing the bag in a waste bin. When we were younger he once brought me a finger, shoved it in my face while I cried and screamed for him to take it away, and I constantly reminded him that I had yet to forgive the incident.

“I’ve been gone three days and brought your favorite meal and don’t even get a thank you?” he asked, pressing a hand over his heart and pretending to be hurt.

“It’s a tough life,” I said, shoveling bites into my mouth and hardly chewing. I had been so caught up in work that I’d forgone lunch. “Is everything going well out of town?”

He nodded, taking a drag and exhaling a lazy coil of smoke. “Nothing to report here. Did anyone give you a hard time while I was gone? Need to rough anyone up?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, obligated to tell him about Jungkook, but I feared what he would say. “Depends on what you define as a hard time.” Yoongi raised his eyebrows, urging me on. “Jungkook came by yesterday, and he’s having…doubts.”

“Doubts?” Yoongi echoed, like it was a dirty word. I was trying to tread lightly, but it was Yoongi’s job to turn every seemingly small detail into a big deal. There was no such thing as being too careful.

“He’s not sure he wants to be involved in the syndicate anymore.” I stretched the truth further than I should’ve. Jungkook would do anything to leave, but I believed he could still be won over, especially when he was stuck between his own life and someone else’s.

“Those are some serious doubts,” Yoongi said. As my stomach sank, I tried to convince myself that it was just because I had eaten too fast. “What did you tell him?”

“His problem is that he doesn’t want to kill anyone.” More or less. “I told him that if he got over it and killed just one man, we’d never ask him to again, and we’d put him on one of our business paths. I told him that if he leaves, the Park Clan won’t hesitate to come after him and his family. He wants to know if there’s a middle ground, one that doesn’t involve blood.”

“Doesn’t involve blood?” Yoongi laughed, a roar coming from deep in his chest that vibrated my chest, instilled me with the knowledge that I had been right to tell Jungkook there was no easy way out. “He can be a meager associate if he wants, but he’d have to find a soldier to work under. Even so, as much as we try within our means to protect our associates, they aren’t members. The Parks could put a bullet between his eyes and there’s nothing we would do. And we’d have to kick his mother and brother out of their current home, since we provided it for them. They wouldn’t be safe, either.”

I nodded along, having been aware of all of those things. “If he’s an associate, he might put off his fate for a while, but he’s valuable to the Parks. He’d end up dead all the same.”

“He could kill his father’s murderer,” Yoongi suggested, as if I hadn’t already.

“I mentioned that to him.”

“And?”

I backed myself into a corner for this one. If I told Yoongi that Jungkook would be willing to kill his father’s murderer, there would be no need for this conversation in the first place, and if I said that Jungkook wasn’t willing, Yoongi would throw him out on the streets in a heartbeat: no man was worth having who wouldn’t avenge his own family’s death. “He…didn’t say much,” I lied. Right through my teeth. “We had a pretty long talk yesterday, and I think he’s going to consider his options.”

“His options are to kill or be killed,” Yoongi said. I had said so, too, but hearing the words out of Yoongi’s mouth made them all the more real, falling into my lap with a gravity heavier than all the deaths that had come before. We had seen my father’s death coming for months, preparing ourselves in every way possible, but Jungkook’s death was coming out of nowhere. I didn’t want him to die hating me.

“What’re his odds of evading the Parks?” I asked. “If he leaves, I mean.”

“There are none. They’re barely human, that clan, and they’d sniff him out in a day. Even if a miracle struck him, his mother and brother wouldn’t make it out, and the Parks would use them as bait to bring Jungkook back.” Yoongi flicked the butt of his cigarette into the trash, and before I attempted to speak, a dark expression fell over his eyes, a black curtain at the end of a tragedy, when the audience sits dead and still.

“What?” I had never seen this face from him, but I knew it from my father. I was trying to place the times I had seen it.

“If he leaves, the Park Clan will find him. And they won’t just kill him. They will break his bones and cut off his hands and carve out his soul. He’ll spill everything he knows about us, eventually. He’d get people killed.

“Or he’ll run to the federal government—that’s his only hope from the Park Clan. The feds would put his family in witness protection in exchange for information. He’d get the two of us arrested, and who knows how many others.”

In Yoongi’s pause, I remembered where I had seen that look on my father before. It was the face he made when he realized he would have to kill a member of his own clan, and I knew Yoongi’s next words before they spilled over his lips.

“If Jungkook leaves…we kill him.”

A scream bubbled in the back of my throat, begging no, no, no while I choked down promises I had made. To protect. I would have to get Jungkook to stay with us, no matter what it took.

Out loud, to Yoongi, I said, “Okay.”

“You can��t tell him. You know that, don’t you?” Yoongi’s voice was low, dark. It was customary to kill members who betrayed the clan or were even suspected of betrayal. This wasn’t new. We had been doing it for centuries, but the thought of Jungkook being on the receiving end had me dizzy, like I was bleeding out of an invisible wound.

“Of course I know that,” I scoffed at my brother, never showing internal conflict on my face. I hadn’t even tugged on my earring— had I? “I’ll call him in tomorrow and try to get an answer.”

“No.” Yoongi waved away my request. “I’ll talk to him. You’re too easy on him, always had a soft spot. I’ve been hoping it’s still in him to be one of us, but I’d like to see for myself if his spark is there.”

I stiffened because Jungkook won’t sugarcoat his thoughts the way I had to Yoongi. My brother would know I lied, and once he knew that Jungkook had no intention of avenging his father, Jungkook would be stripped of the clan. And his life.

“Have it your way.” I forced myself to shrug, hiding my cards from Yoongi. I had never lied to him, not since we were children. My father stressed the importance of trusting each other above all else, and that if our relationship were ever to cave in on itself, our organization would as well.

As soon as Yoongi left, I found myself digging through files of our member’s and associate’s addresses, flicking past H’s and I’s until I landed on J. I had to see Jungkook tonight.

I had never been to Jungkook’s apartment since he moved out of his father’s three years ago, but I quickly found out he was housed adjacent to the streets where he smuggled and sold drugs, or snuck into busy stores to nab something we needed, a permanent borrowing. A lot of our young soldiers lived in the area, but despite the fact that it was claimed Min territory, I left home in disguise. Long trench fluttering around my calves, bobbed wig, and glasses to mask the top half of my face.

Jungkook didn’t recognize me, of course, and hadn’t been expecting anyone in the dead of night. I heard his footsteps approach, a pause as he observed through the peephole, and then nothing.

“It’s me,” I hissed. “Open the door. We have to talk.”

The lock clicked, and Jungkook swung open the door, rubbing an eye with his free hand. “I was trying to go to sleep. This couldn’t wait until morning?”

“No,” I said, walking past without asking to enter. His living room reminded me of him, black couch and gray walls unwelcoming at first glance, but there was something in the smell and the shape of the room that made the quaint space look like home. He was wearing a black t-shirt, gray sweatpants, his usual color palette, and he still looked like home.

“The get-up is a little tacky, don’t you think? Looks like something out of a bad movie,” he commented as I removed my wig and glasses.

“Honestly?” I threw both onto his couch. “Do you take any of this seriously?”

“What? We’re not in your office anymore. This is my apartment, and I still can’t talk to you like you’re a normal fucking person? I can’t joke about a stupid wig?” He stood in the foyer, arms crossed over his chest, letting me into his house but not any further.

“Your life is on the line, and you’re making jokes.” I was raising my voice already, something I hadn’t permitted myself when we were in my office, but I was desperate. I didn’t even have a concrete plan or a script to go off of, just hoped that he would take whatever bone I threw him.

“I have to keep myself sane somehow, don’t I? If I spent all day thinking how I might be dead in a week, I wouldn’t be able to leave my bed.” He pulled at the roots of his hair, already at the end of his rope. “Are you here just to yell at me? Remind me how I’m an idiot and a coward?”

For a moment, I regretted coming, remembering how hopeless he was, but fear of his impending death kept me from leaving. “I’m trying to save your life,” I said, using all of my strength to keep my voice from wavering. “Yoongi’s going to call you into his office tomorrow.”

“And I’ll tell him the same thing I told you: that I want out.”

“You can’t do that!” I cried, involuntary, and raised both hands to cover my mouth. I wished we were back in my office, where I knew my role and how to practice it over him. This place smelled too much like him and looked too much like him and I was pale in the face of it. “If you tell Yoongi you want to leave, he will let you, and you will die. Your mother and your brother will die. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for them.”

“You’re not supposed to care.” He took one step towards me and stopped, like he hadn’t meant to, like the draw was invisible and he had no control. “If someone who isn’t an official member wants out, you’re supposed to let them go back into the streets to fend for themselves. If a member wants out, you’re supposed to kill them. No questions in either case. The only people you’re supposed to care about in this entire world are the ones who swear themselves to you, and I won’t.”

“What will it take?” I asked. He cocked his head at me—out of pity, not curiosity, I realized with dread—and took another step forward, then another. “You won’t make it out there. The Park Clan will get to you. If you think you can escape them and catch a plane somewhere safe and beautiful, you won’t, and—”

He had stopped, forced himself to, with only one more step between us. Up close, with the tilted window shades casting opalescent moon shadows over his face, I saw the resignation of a man who was already dead. He had let go of my hand years ago, when we stopped running, and now he was weaving his fingers with fate’s.

“The Parks won’t ever get to me, will they?”

My heart stopped. I felt it. My blood ran cold and the room fell apart underfoot, leaving only him and I, suspended together in death.

“You said during our meeting that they would torture me until they got the information they wanted. Later, I realized you and your brother would never let that happen. If I leave, you kill—”

“Shut up, Jungkook. Shut up.” I clamped one hand over his mouth and one at the back of his neck, standing toe-to-toe with him now. “I wouldn’t. I won’t. Every day and always, remember? Remember?”

He didn’t shove me, didn’t even let anger pool in his eyes. He just raised a hand, removing mine from his mouth, and squeezed once before letting go. “Not you, specifically. Maybe Yoongi himself, or another one of your hitmen. Every day and always ends with death. You’ll have kept your promise just fine.”

My knees buckled and met hardwood floor, face in my hands. He hated me for so, so many years, that I didn’t even know what I was doing on his floor, didn’t know why I hadn’t volunteered to kill him myself, but here I was, begging him to change everything he believed in. I hated him with half my heart for being an embarrassment and a coward, and I loved him with the other half because I was one, too.

“I need you to do me a favor.” He sunk down on the ground with me, pushing locks of hair from my face to restore a shred of my dignity. “My mother and brother—I have enough money for two plane tickets to the other side of the world. Give them those tickets. Get them out of here safely, please, so they can have another chance. Once they get where they’re going, they won’t be your problem anymore. Just this one last thing.”

“I can’t. I won’t. Not if you die.” I shook my head, despising myself for telling him no, but his family was the only leverage I had, my only means of keeping him with me. “You join us, and I’ll tell you where they are, and you can make amends and live happily with them in your life. Isn’t that worth it? To live for them?”

“Not if I have to kill a—”

“Grow up, Jungkook. Your father’s murderer is going to die whether you’re responsible or one of our hitmen. His life is already gone, but yours doesn’t have to be.”

He sighed, the sound heavy with so much pity. “Get up,” he said, standing and offering me a hand but I pushed myself up by my own strength because his hand in mine was too much, too intimate. We sat on the couch instead, where I wouldn’t have to rely on my feet to hold me up but could still straighten my back and feign a sense of power. He had done this intentionally, I thought, because he didn’t want to see me weak. He knew I needed to look like I had a purpose. “You’ve always said the best kind of man is one who dies by his beliefs, and the worst is one who lives by others’, and that’s what you’re asking me to do.”

“Call me a hypocrite, then.” I snapped. “Tell me I don’t have what it takes to be boss, or that I’ll never be like my brother or my father. You were right, yesterday, when you said you were the weakness I have never been able to get over, but what you didn’t get is that I’ve stopped trying to.”

He leaned his side into the couch, resting his head on the back of the couch and inhaling, deep, like he wanted to memorize the smell of his life and keep it with him afterwards. “I’m sorry,” he said. That was all. He was done fighting.

I was not. “Do you want to die?”

Jungkook’s eyes fell shut. I remembered him saying he had been trying to sleep before I came, and I had to be tiring him beyond measure. I was ready to repeat my question when he opened his eyes again, only partway, and stared right at me. Right through me. “There’s only one thing I want less than to die, but it’s the one thing you’re asking of me.”

“Could you be happy, do you think?” I copied his position, resting my head close to his and watching him watch me, reminded of when we used to love talking to each other so much that we’d fall asleep unwillingly on the couch or the living room floor of my home, and we’d wake up hours later with a blanket draped over us. “After initiation. If you could run your own club or casino, and find a girl who’s either okay with what we do or is involved in it herself, and have a million fucking kids—”

“I only wanted two.”

“Shut up. I’m talking,” I scolded, but the faintest traces of a smile appeared at the edges of his lips. Breathtaking. “If you could have all that, could you be happy?”

“I said I don’t want to raise my kids with a criminal father. Or put my wife through what my mom did. But maybe if I married within the syndicate, or tried to raise the kids so they could have a better life, then maybe. I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. That fantasy’s gone.”

“You won’t kill? Ever?” I asked.

He shook his head, the faint echo of ever leaving his mouth.

“That’s the only thing you wouldn’t do to save your life?”

He nodded.

“Then would you lie?”

I could barely stomach the question, knowing what it would mean if he said yes, knowing that I was ready to keep a secret for the rest of my life if it meant he would do the same.

“What’re you talking about?” he asked, fully awake now given the change in pace. No more killing. Just a lie, one lie, one monumental lie.

“I’ll kill him. The man who killed your father. I’ll do it, but we’ll say that you did it and no one will know any better and you’ll be initiated and you’ll be one of us and protected. And you can have the whole world, but no one can find out.”

Jungkook could turn me in right then if he wanted to. Maybe he was part of a covert operation this whole time and his apartment was bugged with microphones waiting for me to confess to the greatest sin of all. A traitor to my own blood. Willing to build a soldier into a king on a throne of falsehoods. I’d be killed. Yoongi would have no choice, and Jungkook would smile over my grave knowing that he had taken me down, like he had wanted all along.

But there was no gotcha, no sudden burst of light or noise or pain, just a silent apartment with a foolish boy and a foolish queen. We had always been quite the pair.

“What if someone did?” he whispered, like he too was scared of spies in the midst of the dust collected on his coffee table. “What if someone ever found out?”

“We die.” No use in sugarcoating since he was already familiar with the concept. “You have to be willing to live with it—the shame, the possibility that we could fuck up and someone could find out.”

“What do you think are odds are of survival?” he asked. An improvement. I could almost see him coming back to life, right there, blood rushing back into his face and the taste of plasma under his skin.

“Fifty-fifty: either we pull it off or we don’t.”

We would be a gang of our own, the two of us, like the old days when we hid ourselves within blanket forts and conspired against evil. Maybe we were evil. My family name would be stripped from me if anyone was ever to find out, and I would be buried—if even—in an unmarked grave far from the generations of Min men and women before me. The tiger with its amethyst eyes would be scraped from my skin, raw, and I would be forced to watch.

But if no one knew— I’d continue having everything I had ever wanted, and Jungkook would have the same with his wife and his kids. Wherever my father was, maybe he’d understand since he had been the one all along who said every day and always and I was only fulfilling the first promise I ever made.

“How do we pull it off then?”

I smiled first, and he followed, easy smiles that wouldn’t last, but we were here now.

“Tomorrow, when Yoongi calls you into his office, you tell him you’ve made up your mind, and you want to kill the man. Whatever he asks, just make him believe you want to be one of us. Talk about honor and duty and vengeance and family—you know how. I’ll write up your assignment and give it to you. The day of the assignment, I’ll say that I’m going out for the day and staying in a hotel or hanging out with strippers or—”

“Strippers? Taehyung’s not good enough for you?” Jungkook snorted.

I pinched the skin of his arm. He slapped my hand. We traveled back ten years for a single moment. “One of these days I’m going to cut off one of your fingers, and you’ll learn when it’s your turn to talk. Anyway. You’ll take my car, head out somewhere remote, wherever I tell you to. I’ll take your car, and I’ll do the job. Then I’ll come out and find you, and we’ll trade cars back, and you’ll tell Yoongi that it’s been done. The news the next day will confirm that he’s dead, and if anyone sees the car leaving the scene, it’ll be yours.”

“What if anyone sees your face?” he challenged.

“Theoretically, there wouldn’t be any witnesses, but…” I trailed off, almost tugging on my earring but not needing to. “I do have other tacky disguises I can put together. A man’s wig, a suit, and a pair of your sunglasses ought to keep any bystanders off my trail. No one will be close enough to tell that I’m not you. Whenever you go back to Yoongi, you’ll just have to be wearing the same kind of suit, and I’ll give the glasses back.”

He was studying me like I was either a madman or a genius, but centuries have proved there’s hardly a difference, the two caught in permanent, blissful embrace. “You think we can pull that off?”

I shrugged. Yes. No. Even if we did it might not be worth it. We might suffocate on our own shame. “Only one way to find out.”

“What do we do after?”

“I start you off working at one of our casinos, I guess, or a strip club, depending on which you prefer and who you want to work under,” I mused. “You’ll have to answer to a few other higher-ups, and you can’t talk to them the way you do with me. Not if you want to stay in one piece.”

“I’ve been working under half a dozen different capos over the years, and they never cut me to pieces.”

I raised my eyebrows. “So it’s just me, then?”

“I’ll start following decorum better when we’re in public, but if you’re ever in my apartment again, I reserve the right to speak informally. I’m still older, after all,” he said. I bit my cheek to hold back a comment about how he could only afford this ratty home because of the jobs we provided him. I didn’t want power over him, not here at least. “I’d prefer to work in the casino, too, if that’s possible.”

“No strip clubs?” I pretended to pout. “You might meet your future wife there.”

“I’ll take my chances, thanks. My future wife could come by the casino, too.”

“Looking to marry a high roller? Fair enough. Your children will be spoiled.”

He shook his head, laughing—laughing. I hadn’t made him laugh in years, and I felt like I had just walked into frigid ocean waters, struck stupid with shock before I eased into calm familiarity. For a moment I even forgot how much time had passed since we had been this way, like the chasm from the last years had never been there at all, but it was, even still.

“Jungkook?” I whispered. His eyes found mine, still crinkled at the edges. “What do we do after? Us. I’m still the same person you hated.” Maybe he did even now, but I didn’t care to guess anymore. All I could remember was Jungkook’s face in my office when I told him Yoongi and I didn’t keep track of the number of murders we signed off on. “After this, I might be even worse, and I’m not going to change what I do. I’ll spend the rest of my life killing people and letting other people kill people and committing a million other crimes to uphold an empire.”

Uncertainty crossed his face again, his confidence from the past couple minutes wasting away. “It’s an empire that I’m a part of,” he said. “You’re not the only criminal.”

“That’s not what I’m asking. Your crimes will never be anything next to mine.” I would drown in the same blood that would never touch him. “Will you hate me for what I do?”

“What you do isn’t who you are. Killing people isn’t who you are, it’s just—” He tripped over himself, trying to justify what he desperately hated. “I hate what you do, okay? The murder part, at least. I can live with screwing people out of money or selling drugs. But I don’t hate you. I won’t.”

I didn’t say anything, satisfied with the improvement, but Jungkook must not have liked the silence because he continued. “I don’t…I don’t think we’ll be friends after this, though. You know? We’ll be connected forever between our past and our secrets, but the excitement of all this will fade and we’ll probably have that kind of chummy boss-employee relationship where we catch up once in a while but mostly we just smile at each other when you give me orders.”

He had always been the one in dreamland, with my feet kept firmly on the concrete, so I had no idea what shifted now. All I knew was that I hated his vision for the future, so much so that I reached for my wig, tucking my hair back into the cap in preparation for my exit.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, sitting back up. In retrospect, I didn’t know what answer I expected him to give, but I’d hoped for something more than the dull pleasantries exchanged between a boss and a worker.

“You said you were tired,” I pointed out, slipping the sunglasses over my eyes before he noticed my disappointment. “Besides, we have our plan, so it’s time for me to head home.”

He hurried after me to the door, stepping between me and my exit. “What did you want me to say?” he demanded. “That everything will be the way it was when we were young? That we’ll stay up until the break of dawn laughing like the rest of the world doesn’t exist? That we’ll be best friends all over again?”

“Grow up, Jungkook.” I waved him out of the way, pushing the door open myself. The one thing I was good at was talking down to him, but it wasn’t a skill I wanted to have anymore. “I never wanted to be your damn friend.”