#going to have that same experience with the tutorial event i fear

[remxedmoon]

working on the death corridor cgs and wow it feels weird to redraw a cg you’ve. already redrawn once before

[ck4yd3-n]

THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO IN MY BSD DR ☾⋆

♡ - The Agency's café (Café Uzumaki) scent, like imagine you just went there to start your day and suddenly you get a whiff of the scent of a warming café. I've always adored the scent of coffee even in this reality. It is said the manager smells like coffee himself.. I'm gonna need a tutorial on him.

♡ - My everyday habit of going up to the Agency rooftop before shift ends and just relishing in the warmth of the sunset playing before me. The cool breeze, the painted skies, thinking about how much I've accomplished. You can't just not watch the sunset in your DR (I mean it's totally okay if you don't, watching the sunset in your home reality just feels different, yknow?).

♡ - The overwhelming amount of paperwork. I know, I know, I sound crazy, but I want to experience that relief after I finally finished covering up for Dazai's 2-week due paperwork. Might be the same as school work, but just a different feeling.

♡ - The errands.. oh, the errands. I don't care if it's something as simple as picking up some groceries, at least I'll get back by foot by the time I'm done. Walking through the streets of Yokohama while I carry the heavy load of vegetables for the Agency kitchen.

♡ - The PM/ADA nights. Please, I NEEDED a healthy relationship between the two organizations. What could be better than shifting to a reality where there IS a healthy relationship between the two? Mori is not a perv and treats Elise like his daughter.. Dazai still left the Mafia because of Odasaku (sorry), pretty sure I made Mori beg for forgiveness from Yosano and Dazai.. and now they're like popstars in the 2000s. Partying every friday night in a chosen individual's house. And the sleepovers.. I never had a sleepover outside of this reality's house before, so this is such an anticipated experience.

♡ - The fact that I can play any kind of guitar. Actually, this was always a scripted idea for all of my drs.. except for this reality. Cuz I'm too broke to buy one, let alone have time to learn. Typically the ukulele since it's small.

♡ - Using my ability, obviously. Can't wait to be the Avatar without firebending, metalbending, and not that OP. Thanks to Fukuzawa's ability to let his subordinates have better control of their ability, I won't have the fear of accidentally taking someone's air out of their lungs or drowning them like I once feared in 2020.

♡ - The midday escapes to a place that you know if you know where to find it. As I mentioned a few blogs ago, Dazai and Chuuya are my father figures—I know they aren't exactly the ideal ones, but they're better parents than my biological parents.. (in my DR, of course you'd have the trauma of a psychologically abusive household like I did in this reality✌️) and even if Dazai left the Mafia, he and Chuuya are still in touch even offering Dazai to stay in his place until he finds one himself. During their mafia days, they bought an old shed off a property and turned it into a wonderland of themselves—I'm talking about painted walls of half hearted insults, the corner of blankets, colored bandages acting like fairy lights on the ceiling, a whole pantry dedicated to crab and mackerels..? Yes.

♡ - THE EVENTS GOD YES!! Christmas in the ADA, in Yokohama while it's snowing?? YAYAYEYAYYSES. Also scripted an annual day where a member gets chosen by the spinning wheel to be mimicked (idk if I worded that right) and that chosen member is everyone's outfit for the day. For example Atsushi—everyone will either dress up as a white tiger or actually dress like him. For the entire day. From the first hour to the last hour of the shift. They'll act like them too.

♡ - The days where Chuuya teaches me how to play an electric guitar. Yes, Chuuya plays an electric guitar in my DR, fight me. He would boast to Dazai that he's more musically gifted than him, and would nudge me to show off. I took inspiration from his this reality's VA, who's also the one singing the OPs alongside Tachihara's VA.

Anddd a lot more! I really can't wait to go back home.

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

imo Quinn was really given gods hardest battles as an empath because like if Sophie was made into an empath she would have crashed out as soon as she manifested like. it's presumed (basically canon) that empaths can not only tell what others are feeling (like they can feel if someone is being sincere) but they feel what the other is feeling as well (like Keefe ending up laughing and crying when he manifested because he was experiencing others' emotions so intensely)

which, as an ability (even in the original series!!!!!), is like...holy shit. How do you even go out in public ever again. especially at foxfire where you're surrounded by hundreds of other prodigies all just feeling stuff?? and do not get me started on being in public spaces in foxfire during stressful events like finals or midterms if I was an empath I would curl up in a bathroom stall and never come out again ever. And according to Keefe, human emotions are a lot LOT stronger even to a really *experienced* empath (and experience means he has been an empath for longer and has been trained as one for longer) who KNOWS what certain emotions feel like, like happiness or anger as a spike of adrenaline and probably hundreds of other emotions (would dread or anticipation feel like you're slowly suffocating? would impatience make it seem like the entire world is slowing down around you? no one knows). Even to Keefe, with we can presume a lot of training, who knows that x feeling is happiness and y feeling is sadness, being around humans is really really hard. which means for Quinn who has not been trained, she's just feeling Stuff™️ sometimes and no one can tell her why (she's no doubt figured out that they're emotions but seriously the way Shannon wrote empaths they must be immune to pain by now bc holy shit). And if we say that something like fear or impending doom (/lh) is like a sort of pain in your chest where writers sometimes write that your heart is sinking in your chest..like I am genuinely giving Quinn a standing ovation (my ass would have googled the symptoms and thought I was having a heart attack ngl).

which is to say oh my god how did Quinn make it through the first six years after manifesting like. she may not have manifested as many abilities as Sophie but imagine if the black swan chose to wait bc if she could master control of her empathy she would be better prepared for other abilities..but like living in the human world especially after just manifesting at SIX YEARS OLD would have felt like actually dying. in my opinion she has it harder than Sophie bc at least sophies physical pain is mostly affecting her head but feelings like adrenaline, which isn't exactly pain but could be if there was enough of an adrenaline-fueled emotion, would affect Quinn throughout her entire body.

and that's not even considering the fact that she can read emotions from a really far distance...Quinn Parker tell me how you survive I direly need a YouTube tutorial stat /silly

seriously though I applaud her strength. ik her most sensitive flaw is that she's useless ability wise compared to Sophie but endurance wise she is probably the strongest of the gang which is like!!! Yes!!! she is probably the most useful person in the gang in that regard!! I absolutely love characters whose strengths that aren't the same but compliment each other!!!!!!

(sorry for the ramble that turned into an entire essay I have become quite obsessed with your rewrite)

(more asks are coming tho)

(be prepared /silly)

-📄

OKAY I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX

SO ACTUALLY HER BECOMING NUMB IS A PROBLEM LATER ON!

in fact she has to try a little bit harder, even in the beginning to read people's emotions because she's been blocking them out for so long. For the longest time, this girl had mood swings that tore her apart. She would come home from school feeling mellow, and then come home to her parents fighting and her mood would be ruined and she'd sit in her room and like. cry. (mood)

I feel like even though her and Keefe consistently beef (in like a slightly silly way) they also bond over how stressful it is to be an Empath. Like feeling other people's emotions is HARD!!

Quinn has definitely had moments where she stopped in the street and actually thought that her life was over and that this was where she died. Eventually she figured out that she was feeling people's emotions, and with Sophie's help, was able to differentiate them a little bit, but like you said, sometimes she just. felt things. And she didn't know what they were, except for the fact that it hurt.

I LOVE YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF THE EMOTIONS AND HONESTLY I MIGHT STEAL/BORROW A FEW OF THEM

Quinn also like (in my canon) has ADHD. So emotions like, for example, adrenaline, make her body go even crazier than normal. So while she normally is already jittery and kind of shaky, adrenaline amps that up to 100. During tests at school, she used to ask to take them in the hallway just because all the nerves in the room were making her so nauseous.

Quinn is honestly not even sure how she's made it this long after all the shit she goes through (the shit that I put her through cough cough) but like I'm sure she'd appreciate a YouTube tutorial as well because like she's just slugging her way through life rn, trying to not die from the overwhelming amount of emotions at any given time. Once she gets into Empathy training, it starts getting easier, but in the first book, it's a little bit of an issue that she's showing signs of starting to go numb, just from all the chaos and craziness. Like, obviously the Black Swan has protocols that they put into her genes that kind of help prevent that from happening, but they didn't really account for the fact that Quinn had to deal with hormonal teenagers and an alcoholic father on the daily. Like the amount of shit this girl had to feel every day is insane.

I HONESTLY MIGHT USE THAT LATER (the whole 'she's the most enduring of everyone' :DD) cause that's honestly so true. She's been through SO MUCH and this is before the trauma really even began.

I LOVE YOU 📄 ANON

Do not ever apologize for dumping an essay into my ask box because I LOVE reading them :DD

[somajean]

Okay. I have a weird input on this one. My younger daughter wants to be a SAHM and tradwife. Not because it is easy but because it is the "right thing for her" she says. I gave that girl every avenue of artistic and educational freedom physically possible for me to provide. And I'm not upset she chose that life- but everyone around her says that she's choosing a hard job. Cleaning all damn day and night and cooking and sacrificing your sleep schedule to a child(s) on TOP of knowing material to help them learn, on TOP of intentionally binding yourself into a financial position? Yeah. It's hard work and terrifying. I have been, and I am, a single parent. This isn't the same as a SAHM but knowing what my child saw as she grew older, she was dead set on choosing that as her career.

And make no mistake, I firmly believe it is a career. It is laborious, breakless, often thankless work. And the only reason to do it is devotion and love, or fear for your own life and future. I find nothing wrong with the career of a SAHP but I think that the tradwife trends need to show the reality of it all that even if you aren't "going out to a job" or "handling the money" you are still working, and working more hours on average than your spouse. If your job is house mouse, safety nets and government protections often won't extend to you because you "haven't worked." If anyone below me has tutorials or resources, please PLEASE chime in on this. There is NOTHING wrong with going the tradwife route. But we need to get people resources for the job and make sure they know what they are walking into. We can be the resource that floats around and helps people with these things!

From my own single parent experience? Non exhaustive list here but just general things people should know how to do or find? Budgeting, deal finding at markets, haggling if it's in your culture, local food/shelter/counseling support locations, basic sewing, basic first responder or injury care, cooking, how to properly clean, how to allot time to tasks, dealing with burnout, how to exercise in a confined space, psychiatric services for checkups on you and the kids, diet and food health (this includes how to substitute food items for different consistency or picky eaters or allergens), how to structure a time table for yourself and the kids, resources to free books and stories, how to find safe local events, schooling and zoning information (trust me you'll absolutely need this wherever you live). Anything you want your child to learn in life, you need to model it, be able to teach it, or be ready to get the resources for someone else to help your child. If there is no appropriate resource available to teach SAHP these skills for a damn hard job, then we can make the resource, make it popular and send it on its way.

man the weird new romanticization of tradwife/sahm stuff is honest to god so fucking depressing. its so fucking privileged and white and evil. imagine being given rights and then complaining about them when meanwhile there are little brown girls who cant even get an education.

there are women trapped in abusive relationships who literally cannot get a divorce and even if they could they couldnt support themselves because they werent able to get an education and have no outside work experience. very frustrating and upsetting.

like this is coming from the working wife of a stay at home spouse, like i am not the home maker, thats not what i want from my life and what makes me feel fulfilled and happy. but thats something weve heavily discussed. we have different wants and needs and priorities from our work and home life balances. my partner has options and chooses this. but it scares the SHIT out of me seeing this whole "why did we ever fight for the right to work? i want to be a brainless wifey who spits out babies and slaves away in the home and only speaks when spoken to!" bullshit actually pick up because of social media is absolutely fucking horrifying. like its unironically so fucking scary.

[warsofasoiaf]

Character Analysis: Jon Irenicus

Irenicus is a fun villain, and I think nailed one interesting element of writing down, that of bringing down the villain’s threat in an interesting and believable way. The hero typically grows in power in any story, not just in a game where your progression is literally your XP, but what the villain does, how they grow, is also interesting. If the villain is more powerful than the hero, and also does things to grow and learn, theoretically the villain should still be wrecking house. BG2 wove this into the story itself, where the more you learned about Irenicus, the less menacing he became, culminating into where he was arguably your lesser at the end: he was powerful but only aping what you were. 

Obviously, spoilers for BG2 abound.

Baldur’s Gate II introduces us to our villain almost as a cold open. Fresh off the high of defeating Sarevok, you leave Baldur’s Gate after being pressured to leave by “dark forces” and by those who suspected that you shared similar heritage to Sarevok. Seems a bit odd, honestly, to oust the Bhaalspawn with suspicion given that during the course of Baldur’s Gate I, you saved two of the Grand Dukes. It’s certainly understandable that folks would fear your heritage and you’d want to move on to greener pastures, but something more than a 3-minute cut scene would have probably set the scene better.

However, this opening, and the ‘cutscene’ that follows gives Irenicus a grand initial reveal to the player. This guy is an ultra-powerful wizard, and he speaks with a clinical detachment as he states: “It’s time for more experiments.” It’s a wonderful opening to illustrate exactly what you’re dealing with. He’s clearly interested in your godly soul, and exploiting it to some unknown purpose. What is unknown, as he gets called away by some unspecified intruders by a golem. In the next scene, magical traps are set off as an unspecified Shadow Thief gets disintegrated. Story-wise, this serves no purpose, it’s purely meant to be a way to show off the new spell effects and other cosmetic changes to the engine from Baldur’s Gate II, with the disintegration dust and the screen shaking. But it does help illustrate the power level that Irenicus is throwing around. Save-or-die spells were relatively rare in the lower level of Baldur’s Gate I, even Semaj, Sarevok’s mage companion, wasn’t firing off disintegration willy-nilly. Throwing around disintegration spells clearly shows that Irenicus is a new high-level baddy. Later we see that he killed characters from Baldur’s Gate I off-screen, Khalid and Dynahier, two of the three sets of paired companions from BG1. This gives their partners reason to join in with the player character, but it also serves to show his power; Irenicus is such a bad dude that he can wipe your party before the game starts, like he was getting coffee. It might be a cruel cut, but that’s its intent, to make the player character mad at the villain, to want to punch his smarmy face in.

Commensurate in the danger of Irenicus is the need to find out what’s going on. Irenicus clearly knows something about your godly soul and so you want to find out what he knows. Even for an upstanding lawful good character, growing in power means finding a way to effect good on a larger scale, and perhaps to overcome the evil in your tainted blood. After all, no matter how good you were in Baldur’s Gate I, you still were an incredibly powerful killer. Sure, most if not all of them were bad dudes, Mulahey the iron ore poisoner, the bandits of Cloakwood, the Iron Throne and their plans to take over the Sword Coast. But chaos and destruction follow in your wake, and that chaos undoubtedly would hurt innocent civilians; Saradush in Throne of Bhaal is clear of that enough. Even just knowing more about what is going on could better prepare you for the next Irenicus or the next Sarevok.

When you go through the starter dungeon (another piece of game design, you are being tutorialized but the pastoral instruction of Candlekeep makes no sense for someone who already had an adventure), pieces of the man start to fall into place. He holds a bunch of captive dryads as concubines to remind him of someone he lost. He keeps an immaculate bedroom for a companion that is never there, with an alarm ready to dispatch the golems to kill any who cross the threshold. There’s a woman that was in his life that is no longer there, and the loss pains him, or at least, it seems that it should. Chatter with Imoen and the dryads show that this mystery man is trying to elicit feelings that he had lost, and that’s an entirely different case of worms than pining over a lost love. There’s some element of almost-unwilling psychopathy to these actions. Other hints in this dungeon illustrate this as well. His servants, discarded in vats and forgotten about entirely, would at first evoke classical evil overlords casually disregarding their own subjects. He’s almost all of the way there, but there’s enough there that the player is suggested that there has to be something more to it than that. He does seem to have some sort of sociopathy to him, where people are objects that he can find fascinating but he has no empathy. We see this later with Wanev, who Irenicus spares solely because he was hit by a spell that left him a lunatic, which Irenicus found funny, the administrator of a jail for the insane now rendered an insane patient himself.

He is powerful though, that much is clear when you break out of the starter dungeon. His display of magic collapsed part of Waukeen’s Promenade, and when the regulatory magical body of the Cowled Wizards comes to shut it down, Irenicus is capable of swatting mages like they were mosquitos. Just like the Shadow Thieves that he had been fighting, Irenicus seems more annoyed at the interruptions than any physical threat posed by his myriad foes. He’s definitely a powerful wizard, and when he finally submits to the Cowled Wizards, he does so clearly as their superior, dragging Imoen along with him. It’s fairly plain from a game design perspective what Irenicus is doing; he’s going to Spellhold so you have to get there. Good characters want to rescue Imoen, evil characters want to interrogate him to unlock the power in your blood. Either way, the player character is given a goal, and Irenicus disappears physically from the story for the moment.

He isn’t absent though. In your dreams, Jon Irenicus waxes philosophical at the player character, evoking thought-provoking questions. He explains the paradox of your existence of being born of murder, given life from the act of taking life. He speaks about accepting the gifts that will be given to you, regardless of whether or not you want them. These dream sequences are clear upgrades in quality and presentation from the spoken-dialogue text boxes from the first game after you beat major milestones. David Warner does a great job here in delivering Irenicus’s lines, he feels like a evil mentor speaking about philosophical topics with the same detachment that he tortured the player character with in the opening. While we find out later that these dreams aren’t sendings from Irenicus but rather parts of your character’s godly subconscious, they suggest to the player going through Chapter 3 that Irenicus does indeed know a hell of a lot more about you and your godly blood, keeping the player interesting in finding out exactly what it is you need to find out. The other quests in Chapter Three don’t have much to do with Irenicus, aside from some random events with the guild war in Athkatla at night, where the player will find out pretty quick that one side is powered by vampires, the level drain and click-dialogue of “your blood is rather inviting” isn’t exactly hiding that there be vampires engaged in a secret war with the Shadow Thieves. Even then, it’s tangential. You knew the Shadow Thieves were attacking Irenicus, which suggests at least some level of camaraderie with the vampires, but as we saw with the deep dwarves in Irenicus’s lair, he doesn’t care about followers, and they might simply be disposable assets if anything at all. If you want to know about Irenicus, you’re going to have to get it from the man himself. 

Of course, as befits a high-level mage, Irenicus breaks out of the prison in a cutscene, kills the Cowled Wizards and goes back to whatever unsavory plans he thought up for Imoen, teleporting into the lobby and chewing the scenery with his “I CANNOT BE CAGED!” speech, reinforcing his position as the central big bad and confirming the Cowled Wizards as mere obstacles. This part of his plan has been made clear. Far from the meddling Shadow Thieves and Cowled Wizards, Irenicus can continue his experiments on Imoen in Spellhold, and it falls on the player character to go there and end it. Irenicus, of course, knows this too, and he makes sure he has contingency plans to deliver you to him. I’m of three minds on this. On one, he’s so powerful it seems that he is so powerful, and Amn so large, that plenty of these isolated areas within the continent would service just as well for Irenicus’s lair. Why waste time with all of this blah-blah-blah and just take what he wants? It’s not like teleport spells are beyond his ken. On the other hand, it’s a good way to break up into the freeform quest design that Chapter Three gives, offers the chance for your characters to level up and get cool gear, lets you rock the stronghold quests which definitely let you feel your class and increase replay value, and the idea of the forbidding wizard in the island lair is an excellent backdrop. On the third, it’s in-character for an immortal mage to have plans within plans, even to the point of complexity addiction, although his conduct afterward sort of torpedoes this idea. 

That is, after he recaptures you, he immediately goes back to work to his experiments, and after another trippy dream sequence with Imoen, you find his plan. His goal is to absorb your divine soul, taking it for his own. He doesn’t explain anything more, but now that he has you, he discards you just as he has so many others. Telling his sister Bodhi to dispose of you is what keeps him from being someone like the Riddler, since he’s actually going for a proper smart villain play and killing the soulless husk he leaves behind just in case he pulls a protagonist move and comes clawing back for his stolen soul. It’s Bodhi’s instability, her desire to hunt you brought on by her vampirism, that keeps you alive. After the player character becomes the Slayer, Bodhi tells Irenicus, but true to his condescending nature, he simply...ignores the PC, writing them off as someone who is going to keel over any second due to their lack of soul, completely oblivious to the fact that Bhaal’s avatar was the Slayer, and it’s clear that something is replacing the void that he left within you. The PC must effectively turn that dismissiveness against him, by releasing the imprisoned mages within Spellhold, from the powerful but mostly harmless Dili to the megalomaniacal Tiax. Yet this hard-fought battle does not end with Irenicus’s death and your victory, instead Irenicus goes to pursue his other, as-yet unknown goals while he sends another band of cutthroats to die at your hand. 

Yoshimo is sort of my feelings on this Irenicus’s Spellhold plot writ small. As powerful as Irenicus is, he really doesn’t need Yoshimo, not if he has Sarmon Havarian and so many others. Yoshimo shows up in the starter dungeon, and is useful if a bit obsequious in a “who me?” sort of fashion. He doesn’t have a really good reason to stay with the party from a story reason that he gives you. He could have said: “Hey, thanks for getting me out. Deuces!” Yoshimo’s geas gets him to want to stay with the party, otherwise he’s dead. In that sense, it makes sense for him to want to be with the group. And as the only thief who gains levels aside from the absolutely annoying Jan Jansen, he’s useful for dealing with annoying traps, because reloading a game because your main PC tripped a trap and got petrified is certainly frustrating. Game mechanics though, interfere with this. You as the player character have control over the six-person party and if you want Yoshimo to be there, he’ll be there, and if you don’t, he’ll sit in the Copper Coronet, geas be damned. He’ll stand right there until you go back in after the Underdark chapter, in which case he flops over dead and hardly anyone cares. That’s a system engine limitation certainly, but it’s remarkably clumsy. What is good though, is Yoshimo’s regret during this. He knows he has to betray you and is forced to do so, and he genuinely likes you. The writing that happens is crisp, Yoshimo truly does apologize and Irenicus backs up his dismissive assholery by telling him to shut up. When Yoshimo confronts you in Spellhold, his writing is crisp. “No redemption, and no second chances. My heart to Ilmater.” He fights you and goes down swinging (which was annoying the first time I played because he had the Celestial Fury +3). And you can actually take that heart to Ilmater, occupying a valuable inventory space through the next chapters until you can reach Waukeen’s Promenade again, where you can choose to forgive him or not, but give the heart to Ilmater either way. It would have been saccharine to restore Yoshimo, but this way, I feel, is more powerful in a world with such powerful enchantments to see the effects on the people whose lives it ruins. So the game can be clunky at parts, and Irenicus can be as well, but there’s true craft and joy in it.

Back to Irenicus though, we get the sense of more to him when we see the intro splash screen for the next Chapter. Making a dark bargain with the drow, we see that they have captured surface elves, one of whom immediately refers to Irenicus as Joneleth, suggesting a backstory far deeper as Irenicus immediately resorts to killing the prisoner after being the one to suggest interrogation instead of immediate execution, a lashing out that seems out of character for the clinically-detached evil villain we’ve been coming to know. The backstory is clear in the Forgotten Realms, the dark elves and surface elves are mortal foes and anyone who is known to the surface elves to ally with the dark elves is a great betrayal. As the PC goes through the Underdark and comes out, they are captured by the surface elves. Through a conversation with Eldoth, it can become evident that the surface elves know more than they are letting on, such as when they are the ones who suggest holy water and stakes to fight Bodhi, despite not knowing anything about either one of them. After you slay Bodhi and restore Imoen’s soul to its rightful place, you can call Eldoth out on it. Irenicus is “the Shattered One,” an exile of the elves, and it’s here that Irenicus’s story becomes apparent.

Irenicus was a powerful wizard and lover of Queen Ellesime named Joneleth. Yet in his heart, Joneleth yearned for more power and sought to take the essence of the Tree of Life, the lifeblood of the city of Suldanesselar, for himself and Bodhi. This dark ritual nearly killed many that existed within Suldanesselar, and so Joneleth and Bodhi were punished, stripping their elven nature and immortality away from them, leaving them with a mortal lifespan, thus Joneleth became Jon Irenicus, the Shattered One. Bodhi sought to become a vampire to transgress the mortal years she had, but Jon had felt that it degraded her to that of a high-functioning beast. Irenicus’s scheme was far more grandiose if also possessing an elegant simplicity: he lost an immortal soul and so he needed to take one for himself. The Bhaalspawn was the perfect choice, powerful enough to defeat Sarevok and awaken the power within, weak enough to be captured and have the divine soul snatched away. With his stolen soul freshly acquired, Irenicus now looked to the second part of himself, to revenge himself on the elves. The dark elf invasion ultimately failed, helped out by the PC butchering the leadership of Ust Natha, but Irenicus is still going with golems and summoned demons to destroy the city, usurp the power of the Tree of Life, and complete his long ago schemes. 

I... I do not remember your love, Ellesime. I have tried. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory, but it is gone... a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. The Seldarine took that from me, too. I look upon you and feel nothing. I remember nothing but you turning your back on me, along with all the others. Once my thirst for power was everything. And now I hunger only for revenge. And I... WILL... HAVE IT!!

When confronted by Queen Ellesime, she even asks if there was any part of him that remembered the love he had for her, and the PC sees that it’s her that was in his mind for the beautiful bedroom way back in chapter one. It was almost certainly her that Irenicus thought of when he was with his dryad concubines. And when she poses that question, he answers with the above quote, that he feels nothing. While it seems like this is a loss of depth, that he’s just a flat character, I don’t think this is the case. Irenicus had the chance to change, for self-reflection. Instead, he remembers it as all the others turning their back on him, without any recognition that his schemes nearly killed them. It’s the classic abuser mentality, how dare you make me do these things to you. When his victims tried to defend themselves, he lashed out and remembers only their ‘cruelty’ to him. It’s this that makes Irenicus, for all his great arcane might, so small. Where before he was this intimidating figure, now he’s a petty man, and fittingly, it’s here that you can kill him. Temporarily, at least, because there’s still one more dungeon. Irenicus and you are still battling for your divine soul, and after a few self-reflective quests of your own, you duel Irenicus, who dies pitiably, torn to shreds by demons as his power fails him. It fits the heroic and thematic heft of the arc. As you grow in power, Irenicus diminishes in threat. He was your torturer, an inhuman menace, then he became just a man, torn apart by tiny demons that you probably could take down by the truckload. 

There’s good things to learn here. Irenicus isn’t a super-unique villain, although some of the villain tropes are personalized for the sake of the Baldur’s Gate story specifics. But he does his job admirably. David Warner’s voice work, and the special effects (pretty good for when the game came out in 2000) really was able to sell Irenicus as an enjoyable villain. 

Thanks for the suggestions, Anons who were looking forward to this.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[desdamona-evangaline]

Karma, Kayano, Nagisa and Sugino were excited. Well. Kayano, Nagisa and Sugino were exited.

“Are we really going to spend our Friday night looking at bones?” Wines Karma.

“Come on, they got a new exhibit! It’s the fourth largest bone found ever!” Said Sugino.

“”I heard it’s a dinosaur hip.” Chimed in Kayano.

“Plus,” said Nagisa “Koro-sesei said it would be a learning experience”

“Fine whatever”

Kayano leapt to her feet “Forget the bones!”

Exclamations of dismay ensued. Karma had just gotten on bored.

“No, no! Apples releasing a new iPad! And giving away free ones as a promotion! All we have to do is make a video about apples to win!”

“Come on, I want to see the museum.” Said Nagisa.

“I’ll help” said Sugino. “We’ll get Okajima to film.”

“Yes! Get ready. I feel a brainstorm coming on”

They grabbed a napkin and started drawing their heart stopping Apple based videos. This would be epic. Tales of Apple drama, costumes, lighting. This would be bigger than the Titanic!

“Didn’t that sink?”

“Shut up Karma!”

Karma laughed at their antics. Nagisa on the other hand frowned. “I wanted to go to the museum. It’s closed for repairs for a week starting Saturday.”

“We can still go”

“Um....” Nagisa mumbled vaguely. Things had been a tad... awkward since Karma had come back. They hadn’t really hung out together for long since the whole.... friendship break up. He didn’t want to be stressed all evening.

“Look, it’s fine. It’s not like... a big deal.” Pointed out Karma.

“It’s just hanging out.”

“”I guess. Sure”

Kayano popped up smiling. “Aww, like a date?”

Nagisa nearly fell off his chair. Oh God. Mortified.

“No, not a date” hissed Karma. “Just. Hanging out.”

“Have fun on your .not. date.” She cooed before running for dear life. Sugino looked at Karmas face and made a swift exit. Nagisa’s was trying to fight his blush. Oh God he was all red. Idiot!

“It’s not a date.” Karma said again, rather forcefully.

“Just. Hanging. Out”

“Got it.”

“See you at 7”

Karma casually walked away praying his face didn’t rival the colour of his hair. He was not going on a date with Nagisa. And his heart certainly wasn’t beating any harder than normal. Nagisa buried his head in his school bag. It wasn’t a date. Stop panicking! What should he wear?

It took Kayano took zero seconds to convince Okajima to film their video. The thought of an IPad with high zoom camera filled him with glee. Disturbing glee but glee all the same. Nakamura’s blackmail sences were tingling. A date? Between the two most oblivious boys in the class? She new what she was doing this evening. She grabbed Hinano. Now her sights were set on the boys she needed a new accomplice. The girl was easy to convince.

“Finally!! My OTP!!”

“Whatever, bring your binoculars.”

“Trust me. We won’t miss a single second of this legendary meet up”

After school Kayano, Sugino and Okajima asked/begged/bribed Koro-Sensei to fetch them costumes. Their grand idea? An interpretation of apples through ballet. The competition would never see it coming. Kayano wore a green tutu, Sugino a red ballet jacket and shorts. Okajima stood by with the camera. The only problem? None of them knew anything about ballet.

“Don’t you like.... stand on your toes? And sort of spin?”

“I think I can do an arabesque.”

“Jumping is involved?”

The bone museum was just as eventful as one could expect. By which it wasn’t eventful at all and Karma was going insane.

“Are we done yet? It’s a rock! It’s not like it can move”

“It’s a fossil and I want to look at it a little longer”

“It’s a grey rock. I’ll find you 20 outside, can we go now?”

“Don’t you think it’s lovely?”

“It’s almost as picturesque as you my darling little bon...”

“I will hit you with the bone if you finish that sentence”

The Apple ballet plot line was fabulous. Stupendous. Electronic. But the skills? Less so.

“Just twirl. Twirl. Kayano for the love of God TWIRL!”

“I’m basically standing on my big toe do you think this is easy!”

“Sugino, you twirl then!”

No response came from the pile of body that used to be Sugino. Arabesque’s were harder than you’d imagine. Okajima dumped the camera and leapt onto the podium they were using as a stage.

“Just go on one leg and spin like this!”

Kayano didn’t know exactly what happened. After blacking out for a moment she came to under a desk, Sugino’s knee on her head and Okajima stuck in a broken floor board. Time for the good old YouTube tutorial.

Karma kicked himself internally. What was he doing? Why did he say that? This was supposed to be a causal meet up between friends and he was ... flirting? Could you even call that flirting? What ever it was it certainly wasn’t casual. Nagisa was staring straight ahead at the bone. Stop blushing stop blushing stop blushing. Karma was just teasing. This was not. A. Date. He didn’t really mean it. Blushing harder under Karma’s grin, he fought off any unacceptable emotion. But.

He had called him lovely.

Hinano and Nakamura lurked behind a display of elderly bow ties. They came armed with a romance magazine including a stage by stage guide to love. Stage one. The Compliments. Already a solid start. Hinano screamed internally.

“Lovely?” Thought Nakumura. Interesting choice. He’d have to up the anti if he wanted to get anywhere with Nagisa. The boy was completely oblivious. Get down on one knee and he’d ask if your shoelaces were untied.

“I’m hungry.” Announced Karma, formally ending their bone viewing.

Since it wasn’t a date they didn’t plan on getting dinner anywhere fancy. What they were getting was barbaque food. From a literal hole in a brick wall. The smell alone was enough to throw romance out the window.

“It smells like..”

“Best not to think about it.”

“My leg is broken”

“Your leg is not broken”

“It’s broken!”

“Sugino your fine! Do the jump!”

“I swear to God Kayano I quit!”

“If you quit I’ll make you wish you’d never been born!”

All in all, thought Okajima to himself, letting the camera roll through out the afternoon showed scenes more entertaining than traditional ballet ever could.

“That is the most disgusting food I’ve ever seen” hissed Hinano.

This couldn’t be right. Even Karma couldn’t be idiotic enough to bring a date to this mess of a restaurant. They were sitting on the side walk for goodness sake. And the guy running the place looked like he was considering a murder. Come to think of it that’s probably where the meat came from.

“This tastes terrible Karma. Amazing job!”

“Karma laughed and took another bite of the thing that resembled a burger. See? They could hangout. No feelings. Just good friends. Nagisa was just a good friend who was illuminated by the white street light like an angel. Who’s eyes almost glowed and who was sitting close enough to Kiss...”

“OTP for life!!!” Hissed Hinano as Nakamura punched the air. 10 more inches. 5! 4, 3, 2

Nagisa’s phone made all 4 of them jump.

He answered to hear Kayano’s frantic whispers.

“We need help. Susan needs a hospital!”

“Hospital? Who’s Susan?”

“We were pirouetteing” explained Kayano as she dodged a thrown plate, “and Sugino accidentally threw me into a tree, the branch broke and I fell on a deer. Her antler broke! Her names Susan and she’s trying to kill us!”

“I don’t think girl deers have antlers”

“THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE TAKING FROM THIS CONVERSATION!”

“Alright I’m on my way. Karma, we need to go save Kayano and Sugino from a distressed deer.”

“Sure” he muttered. “Why not”

Nakamura comforted Hinano. She would kill that deer with her own bare hands. Or maybe with a baseball bat.

It took a long time to get the deer into an animal hospital. He (or she) was a biter. The nurses criticised Karma’s method of transportation. In fairness it did look pretty odd when they arrived dragging a basket full of deer tied up with fairylights. But, as Karma argued, they did arrive at their destination. All they had to do now what wait as the nurses got the animal painkillers and possibly anger management therapy. Now Nagisa, Kayano, Sugino and Karma were in the waiting room recovering.

Exhausted Nagisa rested his head on Karma’s shoulder. Not in a romantic way or anything.

“Awww” cooed one lady.”Your such a cute couple”

“Oh! No.” Said Nagisa quickly lifting his head.

“We’re just friends.”

“Why?”

“Ummm”

“You’d be great together” man joined in.

Karma shook his head “no, all the dating stuff wouldn’t work out”

“If I may chime in,” Said another guy in a hat.

“Are you avoiding romance because of your fear of separation?”

“My what?” Karma looked personally insulted. “I don’t have a fear of separation”

“Listen young man” said a women behind Nagisa.

“You need to reassure that red headed fellow you will always be there for him.”

“I don’t want to talk about this” said Nagisa, mortification flooding through him.

“Perhaps that’s what’s driving you apart” said hat guy. “Your worried he won’t appreciate and except your efforts”

Sugino and Kayano took turns holding vending machine popcorn.

“No, I just don’t want to date him. Karma’s my friend”

“Is he. Or is he just putting up with you” asked some girl to the left.

“Excuse me?”

“Hey, I’m just telling you what you tell yourself buddy”

Karma stood up angrily. “Let’s stop this right there, our love life is none of your business”

“So you do have a love life?”

Two nurses restrainted Karma from attacking the hat guy.

Nakumura crashed through the door with Hinano at her heels.

“Everyone shut up! It’s time for your moment! Stage 3 happens 4 hours into the date! You have 86 seconds!”

“The hell are you talking about?” Yelled Karma as Nagisa buried his head in his hands.

“Oh God!” Screamed one women, “It’s about to get real!”

“Lady you need to chill” hissed Sugino through his popcorn. “Karma! This is your time! Tell him how you feel!” Wailed Hinata.

“What is going on?” Whispers Nagisa.

“It might be too late soon!” Called hat guy.

“Am I dead?” Whispered Nagisa.

“Do it! We support you!” Yelled the nurse.

“Am I in hell?” Nagisa asked himself.

“Take the initiative Karma! Kiss him!”

Kamra threw himself at Nakamura with the sole intent to kill.Nagisa tackled him.

“No killing Nakumura. Or me after this”

The audience gasped. Hinata cheered. Kayano clapped. Nagisa kissed. And kissed. And kissed.Silence. Staring down at Karma Nagisa waited for his fist. It never came.

“I can’t believe this was our first date. Do-over?”

The whole room cheered.

The next day Karma and Nagisa headed out for first date round two. Nakumura and Hinata spread the news. Kayano and Sugino met to discuss their aid to the Karmagisa cause. It was worth it, even though they never got an iPad.

Then Sugino frowned

“Hey, what happened to Okajima?”

Okajima bowed as he received his prize. His short film “What two mental ballerinas would do for an iPad” won him first place. Life was good.

@darlingimawitch

[memoriesoffear]

Dear Memories of Fear staff: What were some of your favorite games to translate?

We have written down our favorite games to translate underneath a cut.

===============================================

KulaRose:

Of the games we worked on, I can easily pick out my top three that I adored as a translator:

Toilet in Wonderland: - This one was a challenge due to the memey quality of it, but I loved the utter crack nature of the game, and translating scenes like that of the Soccer Kid and his Doctor Dad was a load of fun. Even the non-translation aspects, like Mira herself and the overall world made it a treat to work on and made me excited to translate it.

Peret em Heru: For the Prisoners: - Honestly, this was very likely my favorite title to work on, both for its setting and because I had way too much fun translating Tsuchida and Kuroe's interactions. I can’t think of any other duo where the dialog just came to life right in front of my eyes as much as those two’s speech that was just dripping with underlying aggression. The rest of the cast’s little quirks were a lot of fun to translate as well and it just left me wanting more Peret em Heru. It’s a game that I was really sad to see come to an end, both as a game and as a translation project.

The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba No. 2: - Characters, characters, characters. That’s the name of the game here. Just like with Peret em Heru, I loved translating the characters and, again, just like Peret em Heru, I LOVED translating the aggression between Tsubaki and Natsume. I think I just have a thing for barely contained rivalries/rage. But yes, once again, I love translating characterizations and this game had it completely in spades. So much is going on beneath the surface of this case which gave many chances for the characters to shine. Naturally, Inaba and Arimura’s natural ability to play off of each other was amazing in this game and highly enjoyable. You should notice a trend at this point that I really enjoy translating a ragtag group of misfits a lot.

===============================================

enigmaopoeia:

Here are the games I have personally loved working on: Ghost School: - This game stood out to me because of the graphic work I had to put into it. There were a couple of disembodied voiced lines in this game which had no subtitles provided because it was meant for an audience who would understand the language. Thinking on how to handle this, I was inspired by XSEED Games’ work on Corpse Party (PSP) where they provided subtitles on the upper corner of the screen whenever this happens. So taking that inspiration, I was able to insert subtitles into the game to help the many players who do not understand spoken Japanese, that way they can obtain the same full experience as those who do understand the language. Because I feel it is important to make sure all dialogue is understandable, any time I am faced with a game with spoken dialogue and no subtitles, I will do my best to provide them every time.

Peret em Heru: For the Prisoners: - It was my first time working with the RPG Tkool Dante 98 II engine and I really enjoyed learning it, especially when there were no English written tutorials out for it. There is still a lot I would like to learn about the engine, but I am happy with what I have accomplished thus far. While it's probably not possible, it makes me wish that I could port CORPSE-PARTY (PC-98) to that same engine, since it's a much easier engine to work with.

The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba series: - I am a big fan of murder mystery stories, so it was a lot of fun for me to work on these games. So much so that I even wrote out timelines for No. 2 and No. 3 that way when I worked on it, I could make sure there are as few plotholes as possible. I also loved helping out with the bug fixes and I would send my reports back to Inui, the game developer, of Suika Bar. If I had to choose one game that in the series I loved working on most, it would be The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba No. 2 due to the amount of characters and interactions.

===============================================

Ajogamer:

CORPSE-PARTY ZERO: - This one was my second playtesting project ever, so because of that, it made it enjoyable simply due to my mindset, where playtesting still felt fresh and new me, but I was also a bit more confident due to having a prior project under my belt. In addition, CORPSE-PARTY ZERO was a project where I wound up finding a lot of issues to report, but they were usually simple enough that re-testing them and making sure they were fixed didn't wind up becoming frustrating. As a result, the project was one that felt fairly satisfying to work on. I also liked that the game had a lot of variations with its events, which made it feel like there was a good amount to explore and consider while testing.

Toilet in Wonderland: - This one was rather enjoyable for a couple reasons. For one, I was rather happy to simply have the chance to work on it at all, since it was a game that seemed relatively obscure and with little info on it even among the Japanese RPG Maker fandom, so when I first discovered it and played it for the first time, it almost felt like I was uncovering something lost. As a result, helping Toilet in Wonderland get localized in English was exciting, since it was an opportunity to give this little-known game another chance at some exposure. The game itself was also fairly fun to work on, since with how odd and surreal it was, its plot and dialogue were more of an unknown than usual, going into it. As a result, I was initially a bit unsure how much the dialogue would add, but I wound up being really pleased by its dialogue, since it was just as goofy and humorous as the game's its surrealistic visuals and events, and it felt like it made me appreciate Toilet in Wonderland anew. Between its surreal areas and that consistently silly dialogue, it was also fun to work on. It made polishing up its dialogue feel a bit different than with our previous, projects (which were generally a bit more serious in tone), and I even found replaying the game (as is always necessary as a part of the QA Process) a lot of fun, since its silliness never failed to make me smile.

The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba No. 2: - While The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba series was fairly enjoyable to work on in general, The Mystery Files of Detective Inaba No. 2 was my favorite to work on of the bunch, since it was a game that really emphasized its writing, along with having a large cast of characters, most of which had plenty of dialogue. As a result, I felt like there was more of a need than usual to consider each character's unique way of speaking, and there was a bit more time spent tweaking dialogue to make sure that was consistent all throughout. In addition, it was interesting making sure all the story details and character accounts were properly conveyed and matched up in our translation. The game also had some nice jazz music, which was pretty catchy and pleasant to listen to even on my 2nd and 3rd times running through the game to playtest it. Peret em Heru: For the Prisoners: - This one was exciting to me for a few reasons. For one, Peret em Heru was another where the character voices were a bit more of a consideration, since its characters are pretty distinct and with some stronger personalities in the mix, so it was fun seeing their unique voices shape up in English, and then helping tweak and polish up their dialogue (especially so for the characters that were a bit more cheeky or blunt, which is quite a bit of the cast, heh). In addition, Peret em Heru was a game with a good deal to see and test, between the different characters to make use of in combat, their variable fates, and the entire command-based system for dealing with obstacles and solving puzzles, all of which made the playtesting process interesting and fun. Being a PC-98 game, it also felt like a more unique project to work on, since it makes it feels a bit different than your usual RPG Maker game, and well... I also just really love the PC-98 aesthetic. Speaking of, I really loved this game's aesthetics and atmosphere in general, and they never failed to suck me in each time I replayed the game to playtest. Lastly, Peret em Heru is also a game that especially impressed me, so I was also just excited to get a chance to work on it and bring it to an English audience!

===============================================

[wehavethoughts]

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel Review!

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Publication date: 04/17/2018

ISBN-10: 1328764524

Print length: 289 pages

Website 

Rating: 5/5 Hotteok’s

Summary: How to Write an Autobiographical Novel is an essay collection by Alexander Chee. He shares life events ranging from his teen years to current life: growing up as a biracial person in Korea and in the U.S., working as an activist in the LGBTQ community in San Francisco, struggling to make ends meet as a young writer, publishing his first book and much more.

Content Warnings for How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: the author shares his childhood sexual trauma and discriminations that he faced as a gay man.

Alexander Chee is a Korean American queer writer who has written the novels Edinburgh and The Queen of the Night (both of which I haven’t read yet but are definitely on my To-Be-Read list). I had heard about him through other Korean American writers, who all described him as a generous, kind-hearted, and talented author, colleague, and mentor. Of course, I do not know him personally, but through the small aspects of his life and thoughts that he shares through social media platforms, I could understand what they might mean. For example, I was finding warm joys watching his tiny kitchen scrap gardens grow.

So I finally set aside some time to read his essay collection, How to Write an Autobiographical Novel. It was in May 2020, two months into the COVID-19 lockdown in the U.S. Looking back, little did I know that the pandemic would keep me in isolation for the entire year, but back then I was already pretty devastated and shattered from helplessly watching the life I had envisioned for 2020 disappear right in front of my eyes. I was in search of a voice that could be with me through those dark days. Not something grand that could fix the state I was in, but something that could simply just sit with me. And I cautiously thought Chee’s words might be that.

The title of the book may make you think that this is a book with tips, guidance, and tutorials on how to write one's autobiographical novel. However, it is not that. It is a collection of essays with autobiographical events with the author's thoughts and insights on his personal life, as well as his nation's political events. Though, a short essay with the same title is included in the collection, which almost reads like a poem about the experience of writing an autobiographical novel.

In this collection, he writes honestly and beautifully about his life experiences, ranging from his stay in Mexico as a young gay man (“The Curse”), Taro-reading in college while trying to navigate through the grief from his father’s death (“The Querent”), his writing class with Annie Dillard at Wesleyan (“The Writing Life”), and cater-waiting for William F. Buckley, who had written an op-ed advocating “for the tattooing of people with AIDS on their buttocks and wrists” (“Mr. and Mrs. B”).

Each essay left me so overwhelmingly emotional that I had to take a break, especially the essay “1989”. In it, he shares the story about his participation in the march in San Francisco “to block traffic to protest government inaction in the face of the AIDS epidemic” on October 6, 1989. He ends the essay describing how he was standing at an ambulance with his unconscious and injured friend. He was told to put his hand on the ambulance so the police won’t arrest him. He writes: 

“I stand there, my hand on the ambulance, and a television news crew arrives and asks me to describe what I’ve seen. As I tell the story, I keep my hand on the ambulance the entire time. After they leave, I think about how, up to now, I have thought that I lived in a different country from this. But this is the country I live in, I tell myself, feeling the metal against my fingers. This is the country I live in.” 

Through his powerful storytelling, I almost felt like I could feel the metal too, as I read that last paragraph over and over again. Going through the unbelievable pain and grief at the end of May this year in this nation, I kept thinking about this essay. Tony Morrison wrote in 2015 that difficult times are precisely “when artists go to work... We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.” ("No Place for Self-Pity, No Room for Fear,” The Nation, March 23, 2015) There is still so much grief, and so much work to be done, but I’m grateful that those like Chee will be with us through their writing as we move toward healing.

In an interview with Subway Book Review, Chee mentioned that during this pandemic, he is holding onto words from authors who have gone through difficult times and picked East Goes West as the book he was relating to. (East Goes West is written by the first Korean American novelist, Younghill Kang. You can read more about Chee’s thoughts on East Goes West here.) To me, Chee’s How to Write an Autobiographical Novel was that book. If you are looking for a book that can help you navigate your own feelings, especially after this strange, lonely, and challenging year, I would highly recommend this book.

tldr: The author Roxane Gay writes on Goodreviews that this book is “nuanced, sophisticated, intelligent, intimate, sincere essays about writing, identity, and being alive” and I cannot agree more.

p.s. I have also read good reviews about the audiobook version narrated by Daniel K. Isaac. I will definitely be checking it out, too!

p.p.s. Here is another excerpt from the book. In the essay “Girl” he talks about Halloween in 1990 when he spent the night wearing makeup, a shoulder-length blond wig, a black turtleneck and leggings. Attaching as a postscript as I cannot fathom any words to accompany it, but would just like anybody reading this to feel all the feelings as I did.

“In this moment, the confusion of my whole life has receded. No one will ask me if I am white or Asian. No one will ask me if I am a man or a woman. No one will ask me why I love men. For a moment, I want Fred to stay a man all night. There is nothing brave in this: any man and woman can walk together, in love and unharassed in this country, in this world—and for a moment, I just want to be his overly made-up girlfriend all night. I want him to be my quiet, strong man. I want to hold his hand all night and have it be only that; not political, not dangerous, just that.”

[zorovevo]

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[zodiacrant]

Stereotypes explained:

Sagittarius

Bites more than they can chew: Sagittarius loves to explore and wants to learn from things but they prefer to go to the top and all the way instead of going slow and learn. So say if they play a new video game they’ll skip the tutorial and play the game on the highest level.

Word vomiting and doesn’t know their place: Sagittarius have a sense of ideals that people may not understand but they apply, so say they heard you talk about someone then in front of that someone you were acting nice they get angry because they feel lied to and manipulated. Sagittarius believes in the hard bitter truth over the sweet lies so they won’t change that just because you don’t feel so, however like any person they can violate other people’s space or privacy but they’ll understand and respect you if you tell them off.

They live in their own world in their head and think everything in there is the same as the entire world logic: aren’t we all? Expect they don’t shy away from it and may over confidently voice it.

Capricorn

Emotionless and cold: “the most ruthless were the most kindest “, something I believe is the case with many earth signs and especially Capricorns. It may seem like they don’t care but it’s mostly a defense mechanism which they use to make sure you’ll go all the way for them so they’ll show you their more intimate self.

Workaholics: Capricorns May be driven towards success but not all their goals and dreams are academic or typical kind of jobs. It may seem to some that all they care about is work but they just want to fulfill their dreams.

Boring: I never understand why some people describe a whole sign as “boring”. Just because they don’t want to party every night or sneak out at night or skip school doesn’t make someone boring. Just because they don’t want to do what you wanted or them having different interests doesn’t make them boring.

Aquarius

Would do anything to be different: we all want to be different in way or the other, however it seems this stereotype comes from either a place of misunderstanding or envy. Aquarius tend to have a lot of eccentric and bold appearance and very off the wall ideas so they tend to be interested in unconventional things like art, which lead them to be quite competitive and frustrated with people not understanding them or people trying to be “cool” by being unconventional and eccentric.

Doesn’t care about anything or anyone: it may come off as such but Aquarius cares a lot actually, from people who drive crazy to those who dont say thank you when you open the door Aquarius cares about a lot of things and how they affect the world and the bigger picture so it may not look like it but they very much do.

Uncompromising and doesn’t give people a second chance: Aquarius expects people to deliver when they ask them for something or they’re working with them, they up hold themselves and others to a standard where they have to make it work or not do it at all.

Pisces

Always daydreaming: I don’t know about this and I have never known a Pisces that daydreams a lot but I have met those who forget a lot, so for as far as I know they might be trying to remember something.

Weak and a sensitive snowflake: Pisces can be sweet but calling someone weak because they’re kind or considerate is a cheap shot.

A stoner: really! Do I need to explain why this one is wrong.

Aries

Angry and short tempered: Aries is a very chill person and if you see them angry often that means they either love you so they show you their emotions or hate you and you piss them off often

Strong headed and likes to be the best: as a cardinal sign Aries is prone to be competitive and wanting to win, however, it doesn’t necessarily means that Aries would tear people to be the best and that they have to. I don’t find being strong headed as a bad thing, I find as an asset that needs to be controlled.

Bullies and dictators: a very disgusting stereotype that was put on Aries, some would even hold them accountable for certain actions that were made by a certain asshole. Stop.

Taurus

Lazy and loves to eat a lot : one of the zodiacs most known stereotype, I actually find it very funny that a very hard working sign get to be called lazy for loving to relax, Taurus is a sign of habit but that doesn’t mean they sit on their ass eating all day in matter in fact most of the Tauruses that I know ended up being successful at a younger age and got their shit together earlier and faster than their counterparts so I find it quite ridiculous.

Hates change and rigid: Taurus is a very stable sign and get very comfortable when they’re happy in their position, however you haven’t lived until you saw a Taurus change up, they changed completely and I mean completely and I am not only talking hairstyles but also friends and styles and even jobs. Yes they hate change but when they do it’s like taking the ground and flip it upside down.

An asshole towards others and doesn’t respect other opinions: as a fixed sign Taurus doesn’t take apposition very lightly, but unless they ask you for your opinion they really don’t want to hear it and unless you’re better than them at that certain thing then they’ll never going to take your advice and move on and I actually like that about them.

Gemini

Always talks and doesn’t shut up: here we’re at the most hated sign. Gemini’s have a very quick yet short term thinking span so when they get excited or talk about something they let it all out so they won’t forget about it or get over, and personally I love someone who can hold a conversation with anyone since I find it difficult myself.

Two faced and cheaters: we need to pump the brakes on this one because it’s very disgusting to call someone these things because of their sign and people actually made a sport out of making fun of Gemini’s. Gemini loves to fly and doesn’t like to be stranded and settle when they think there’s something better for them and if you’re not then they’ll leave.I have never met a cheating Gemini, all of those that I have met are actually loyal to a fault, they stand up for their friends even when they know their friends are wrong, they even stay in a horrible relationship just because they don’t want to break someone heart and give respect to their relationship.

Liars and make stories up: I think we’re all guilty of adding spice or over exaggerated a certain event to make it more interesting but Gemini’s are terrible liars and that’s why they get caught when they do, however that doesn’t mean they’re all liars just because whoever the fuck said so on their page.

Cancer

Cry babies: Probably second to Gemini on the most known stereotype, I find cancer emotionaly intelligent which most people lack. Emotional doesn’t mean someone who always cry but rather someone who understands their emotions and can describe them very well so I don’t see them crying as weakness but rather a way of relief that I wish I had honestly

Always jealous: cancers are known for their protective behavior and sometimes it may come off possessive and that it comes from a place of Jealousy but they mean well as they tend to be fearful of their loved ones get harmed or hurt. In a relationship a cancer wants to be with their partner and experience things with them so they might have a fit if you’d leave them to hang out with someone else and yes they would be jealous over you since they love however it may come off as very ridcal and immature but if they didn’t care they wouldn’t be a pain in your ass

Insecure: just like with emotions cancers are open about their struggles and tend to express them early on more so than the other signs. Just like any person they might feel not good enough or that they’re a failure and so on, but cancers care a lot about making something to fullest. As a cardinal sign they feel insecurities very often and can’t help but express them since it’s in their nature.

Leo

Narcissistic and self centered: a big misconception about Leo’s that they’re self absorbed, think they’re the best and doesn’t think about anyone else, but actually they feel very much like the worst so they act like the best to help them feel otherwise. As of the narcissistic claims Leo’s might be proud but narcissism requires a whole different kind of doucheness, as a fixed sign Leo’s are stubborn and might come off as stuck up but it’s just their confidence and big personality.

Lazy and big procrastinators: like the lion Leo’s have their ways, they love to sleep and eat and chill but when it comes down to it they turn it out and go all the way.

Must be the queen B and demands attention: this one is very stupid in its self because they associate mean girls from movies to Leo’s and I honestly have no words

Virgo

OCD: this is a mental illness and many people get offended by this whether they’re Virgos or someone who actually suffers from OCD, and I don’t tolerate such insensitivities and inconsiderate behaviors.

Stuck up: this might come from Virgos love for success, as an earth sign Virgo might come off insensitive and monotoned but it’s just how they’re and they don’t mean it to come off as such , since all earth signs value work and this might be seen since they have a confident attitude.

The mean kid in school: just because they associate signs with certain movie stereotypes that doesn’t make it applicable to a whole sign.

Libra

Whores: why? No really why? This is very gagging and not in the good way. Just because they love to look good doesn’t mean they’re asking for it.

Manipulative: Libras calm nature and hate for confrontations and loudness make them look manipulative and doing something under the table when all they want is to get out of the situation

Sympathy seekers: Libras are known for their diplomatic approach and because most people are not sometimes they want to feel understood on how they want to be say both of their friends friend but keep out of their drama without looking bad

Scorpio

Any kind of criminal label you could think of: doesn’t need an explanation to see why it’s stupid and unnecessary.

Addicted to sex: sex is a very instinctive thing but we don’t need it. Addiction to sex suggest that there’s a problem hence the word addicted and so also with this I don’t need to explain this besides that people have sex with who they want so mind what’s going on in your pants and you’ll get a significant other instead worrying about others sex life

Satan: .............................what?

So these are all the big stereotypes I know there are more but I wanted the most known and the most disgusting so let me know about other stereotypes and tell me what do you think is the reason behind each stereotype.

(please follow and share your dirt on the signs ☕️. )

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

How I escaped my 'cult' in lockdown

▲ The Peace Palace of the Korean messiah, Lee Man-hee, is lower left. The Moon’s $1billion palace is upper right.

______________________________________

Jasmine*, 20, a former member of the South Korean Shincheonji Church, recalls her experience of detaching from the group due to Covid-19

The Telegraph, London, UK     1 July 2020

By Anonymous author

I was recruited into a cult during my second year at university, although I didn’t realise it at first. What started with a chat with two charismatic young recruiters outside the Salford University library last March lead to my attendance at Bible study meetings and services. I was in deep grief for my dad who died suddenly in 2016, and I was vulnerable.

Members of the Shincheonji Church of Jesus drew me in by asking some very big questions, such as: “If you could have coffee with God, what would you ask?” They asked me a lot of questions about myself, and seemed so interested in me. My recruiters came across as serious theologians with a big commitment to promoting world peace, and they were offering friendship, too. They seemed to have the answers to some big issues, and they did it all with subtlety and skill.

Very quickly, I was attending Shincheonji meetings, sermons and study groups for several hours each day. I was feeling a part of something, and it felt good. I learned that it was a Christian group founded in 1984 in South Korea by a messianic figure, Lee Man-hee, who believes that only he and his followers will survive the end of the world – they are obsessed with ‘End Time’. The Shincheonji position themselves as a Christian group who carry out social work and cultural events, and they are known for holding big athletics festivals in South Korea. There are more than 250,000 followers worldwide, and they are on a mission right now to recruit more and more from UK universities.

There were about 40 of us in my group and we were broken down into ‘cells’ of five with a leader and assistant leader for each. I became our cell’s assistant leader after few months, and I ran my own bible studies group after I had been trained.

Gradually, I was distanced from my friends and my mum, a nurse who lives in Surrey, and before too long the Shincheonji had taken over my life. I was spending 90 per cent of my time either in cult meetings, going out evangelising or attending the twice-weekly sermons, which were held in a local business park. My university work began to suffer. I was sleeping just four hours a night. I was exhausted. This is one of the reasons recruits stay loyal. They find they don’t have the time and energy needed to think properly and rationally assess what they have become part of.

All of my previous ideas about my faith and God had become replaced with the group’s beliefs, which were that we were helping to bring about world peace and that only we would survive the end of the world. Walking away would have been very difficult because I would have to ‘unlearn’ what I had been indoctrinated into.

But everything changed in February when news broke about coronavirus. I was already feeling very uncomfortable with some of the things I was having to do, such as policing the new recruits I had brought in and reporting them to our cell leader if they broke the rules. They might have met with a member of the opposite sex after the 10pm curfew, not turned up to Bible study or meetings, or not sat properly in the praying position, which is that you to have to kneel with the left hand on top of the right. Or they might have not said ‘Amen’ after a leader had spoken, or not done their homework. The rules are all set out in a PowerPoint early on in the recruitment process, and then repeated verbally until they have sunk in. They are very rigid about every single rule as it is a way of controlling people, even down to what you wear to the sermons – everyone has to look the same in white shirts and back trousers.

I really hated policing new recruits and I was having doubts, but you are conditioned to ignore your instincts and not to ask questions.

Then, one evening in February, I saw on the BBC News that the Shincheonji in South Korea were being held responsible for an outbreak of Covid-19 there, by holding tightly packed meetings and refusing to stop. I remember being very shocked. How could committed Christians do something that was putting lives at risk? We knew that lockdown was coming soon to the UK and I had started to feel extremely anxious. Were we going to be expected to carry on attending sermons after lockdown, and put our health at risk?

At the same time, my tutor expressed concern that I was missing tutorials and getting behind with my work. She suggested we meet. My friends were asking lots of questions about where I was and I just told them I was busy. We believed that only those who were part of the Shincheonji were going to be saved when the pandemic hit. After the news from South Korea broke and deaths from Covid-19 were being reported every day, we believed that God was close to picking just the 144,000 of his devotees who would survive and live forever, in line with old testament teachings from Revelations. What would happen if I wasn’t one of the chosen ones? Would I die? I almost didn’t leave through fear. I was absolutely terrified. I couldn’t decide what to do.

Later in February, we were all sent a message on the Telegram app – it’s more secure than WhatsApp – that all meetings, services, recruitment, Bible studies were cancelled because of Covid-19. Everything went online, but the virtual sermons had none of the power of an actual live service, which involved about 40 of us singing, swaying, praying and clapping, with some members so moved by the singing they openly wept. The emotion and the sense of importance and ceremony that the live sermons evoked was missing.

We watched pre-recorded sermons by Lee Man-hee, but the more they were repeated, the less impact they had – he wasn’t making any new recordings. By this stage, my doubts were overwhelming me, but I carried on taking part in everything online. I still felt under scrutiny from my leaders when I saw them on screen instead of live, but I found I could fake a decent “Amen” online far more easily than face to face.

Not being able to go out evangelising meant that we all had a lot more time at our disposal. I began reading a lot about the Shincheonji, that they are widely believed to be a cult. I couldn’t believe what I had become a part of, and I knew I had to get out. I just wasn’t sure if I had the strength. I wasn’t at all sure I could manage it. I had no one on the outside to rely on or who could help me, because no one knew about my other life. The Shincheonji are highly secretive and some believe that the devil will find his way in if you tell non-members – so I didn’t.

Just before the UK went into lockdown, I met with my tutor and told her that I had been a member of the Shincheonji for over a year. She was the first person I had told, and I broke down in tears. She immediately got me connected to the university’s wellbeing team who put me in contact with the Family Survival Trust (FST), which helps cult victims. Thanks to their guidance, I cut all my ties with the cult, changed my phone number and took myself off all social media. Then I got on a coach and went home to Surrey.

I later learned that two leaders had turned up at my university demanding to see me. They then went to my accommodation but my old flatmates turned them away. I had forgotten to block the cult leaders from my uni email and they emailed me quite a lot, and it frightened me because they can be so persuasive. The whole time on the coach home I was quite paranoid about being followed, and when I got home to Surrey I was constantly looking over my shoulder, but my mum calmed me down. They had had such a grip on me, I was frightened they wouldn’t let me go. I was in a terrible state at first because I didn’t know what I believed any more. I had believed everything they had taught me, but I now knew it was all untrue. My trust had been absolutely broken.

Life has been difficult in lockdown, but I feel free. I can sleep and spend time at home. The real me is returning and life is going back to normal. It’s terrible that so many lives have been lost to the coronavirus, but what happened during the pandemic gave me the freedom I needed to help me realise what had been done to me. The cult make you feel that they are your family. I lost a part of myself. My identity was all bound up with the cult, and I had no thoughts or beliefs of my own. Now I am back with my real family, and I am free once more to make my own decisions. I know of one other woman who left when I did, but I don’t suppose we were the only ones. I bet more have left since.

When I found out who I was involved with, I was shattered and broken. I am still in a state of shock, but it is receding. I couldn’t have done this interview a month ago. I didn’t know where I belonged at first, but the Trust has introduced me to other cult victims so I don’t feel so alone. I will find it hard to trust people again, to get close to anyone. The hardest part of the whole experience was when I felt I was losing my relationship with my mum. But I'm also sorry to have missed out on the social side of university, while I lived a secret life inside the Shincheonji.

You can be the smartest person on campus, but the recruiters can still get to you by making you feel special. The Shincheonji have been recruiting at universities in Birmingham, London and Manchester for over a year, telling young people they are on a mission to save the world. If coronavirus hadn’t happened when it did, I think I would still believe that.

*Names have been changed

As told to Lynne Wallis

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/escaped-cult-lockdown/

Rival Korean messiah builds workshop next to UC / FFWPU Cheongpyeong Center

Video of Messiah Lee Man-hee arriving at LAX, California, April, 2017

Korean messiah, Lee Man-hee, (Shincheonji) on takeover mission in New Zealand

Coronavirus Spread by a Second Coming ‘Cult’ Has Put South Korea on ‘Maximum Alert’

▲ Bo Hi Pak, the right hand man of Sun Myung Moon, is standing next to Lee Man-hee (wearing a red tie). Mrs Pak is wearing the pink outfit. Kim Nam-hee, with a pink scarf, was the wife of Mr Lee. The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Little Angels was being celebrated.

[tiffanytheswiftie]

So every year on my birthday I kind of like to recap my year, and since I'm turning 29, I decided to model this year's after the Elle article Taylor Swift did at 29 entitled "30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30."

@taylorswift @taylornation

1. It's okay if people don't get my interests.

Over the years, I sometimes tried to hide my interests because I was worried people would think they were weird or wouldn’t understand them. It always seemed like a lot of my interests fell out of the “ordinary” interests of those around me. But I’ve learned that’s okay, and it’s okay if people don’t get it. If I enjoy it, that’s all that matters. Like the song says, if it makes me happy, it can’t be that bad.

2. I can love my body while also wanting to make it healthier/look better.

I have struggled with body image and my weight for the majority of my life, and I have always believed the biggest struggle was the mental aspect of it all. I thought I could only appreciate my body once it got to how I wanted it to look (which, it never has). I hated it. However, I realize now that the best way to improve it, is to love it, and appreciate it for what it does for me already.

3. It's not malicious to cut out toxic people.

Cutting out toxic people is hard, but necessary. I’m not calling someone up and saying, “I’m never talking to you again,” or completely ghosting them, however I no longer involve them in most aspects of my life. It’s freeing and better for my mental health.

4. Traveling is so important.

It’s no secret that I love traveling. I want to visit every continent (minus Antarctica), experience different cultures, see history, and experience new things. It’s important to open up my mind and broaden my horizons, and something I recommend everyone to do. It’s good to meet people from all over the world who live different lives and come from different lifestyles and philosophies. Plus, traveling is just so fun! Like Donna says in Mamma Mia 2, “life is short, and the world is wide, I want to make some memories.”

5. My path can and will change often.

When I first started trying to decide on a major for college, I seriously thought about at least 12 different career paths. And what I chose wasn’t even included in those at the time. Point is, my path will change often. My dreams will change often. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I failed, it just means my path has shifted onto something different. My initial dream may have just been setting me up to go down a certain path.

6. My life isn't on a timeline.

Honestly this is probably the hardest lesson I had to learn. Everyone, myself included, seems to put life on a timeline. I thought by a certain age I had to have a degree, I had to be married, I had to have kids, I had to have traveled to a certain amount of places, etc. and if I didn’t then it just wouldn’t happen. I hear people talk about other people and where they are in life. But no one’s life is on a timeline, and everyone’s big moments will happen differently. The only time it’s ever really “too late” is when I’m dead. And I’m not dead. I’m very much alive.

7. I need to be able to look forward to things.

Sometimes life can seem monotonous. Every day looks the same, and it can really wear me down. I always try to make sure I have something to look forward to. It could be something big, like a trip or Christmas, or something small, like watching a new movie. Either way, I keep a countdown app in my phone, and I look at it on days I feel like my life is doing nothing. I always make sure there’s something I can look forward to.

8. It's possible to be both brave and terrified.

My mantra in life has always been “Fearless.” I got it from a Taylor Swift quote when I was about 17 years old that says, “Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” While I’ve always loved that quote and have used that word to overcome fears, it took me awhile to actually be able to fully embrace the idea of being fearless.

9. Water is good for the soul.

Drink water. It’s not only good for the soul, it’s good for staying alive. Hydrate before you die-drate. There’s nothing more satisfying then getting a big gulp of cool water.

10. I shouldn't care what people think of me.

This is something we’re preached our entire lives, yet often we still worry about the people who judge us. And that’s crazy. I only get one life and going through it worried about what someone thinks of me is a stupid way to live.

I think I can best sum this lesson up with the words from Sebastian Stan in Houston, “Don’t care about what other people say about you, just really don’t give a damn…you have to ultimately go ‘I’m doing this’ and people aren’t going to like that. Not everyone’s going to like what I do. So…who gives a f***? You know, if it feels good to you, and you’re helping somebody, or you’re not harming anybody, you’re being kind, you’re being considerate, then that’s it. That’s all you need.”

11. If someone judges me for my appearance, they are the ones with a problem.

One thing that has hindered me through the years is my fear of someone judging my appearance. I’ve let it affect every aspect of my life. For so long, I wouldn’t go to certain events, talk to certain people, participate in certain activities, travel certain places, date, go to restaurants, do fun things like dancing or swimming, etc. (and some I still don’t) because of being afraid people would judge how much fat is on my body. And I recognize that’s not a good way to go through life, and if someone judges me for that, they are the ones with the issue, not me. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “Focus on what your body does more than what it looks like doing it.” And I’ve been trying to live those words.

12. I need to live in the present, not the future.

I tend to freak myself out by thinking either too far ahead or about things that haven’t (and might not) even happen. I think about what age I’ll be in 10, 20, 30 years. I’ll think about what might go wrong with something at some point. It’s not healthy, I will drive myself crazy overthinking about this. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to live in the now. It’s good to have future plans or be prepared for the future, but never forget to live in the present. Focus on the now. Live now.

13. It's good to try different things to figure out if I'm interested or not.

It’s so good to try different things out to discover if it’s something I enjoy or not, something I want to pursue or not, etc. It’s so easy to sign up for a class, look up a tutorial, or just get out and try. I have tried a lot of things in my life that ended up not being what I decided to put all of my energy into, but that’s a good thing. I don’t have to ask myself “what if?” and some of it I still enjoy doing as a hobby.

14. Writing is good for my mental health.

If you follow me on any social media, or are reading this right now, then you probably know that I tend to write things out often. I enjoy writing. It’s one of the ways I express myself, and it’s good for me. It’s therapeutic. I write when I’m excited, happy, or sad. I write out poetry or songs or just short little essays. I enjoy it, a lot, and I’m glad I’ve embraced it.

15. Read as much as possible.

Reading is good for so many reasons. It makes me smarter, it makes my brain more active, and it takes me into different worlds. It also lets me experience things or understand things I might not have otherwise. It helps to stop my mind to slow down and focus on one thing. Reading is important for everyone. It can be a novel, a short story, a magazine, whatever. Just read.

16. A good night's sleep can make a huge difference.

Trying to get a good night’s sleep just makes the next day better and is good for my mental and physical health overall. I’ve had crazy sleep schedules, sometimes from work hours but mostly because I’m an anxious night owl who pushed myself to stay awake and watch movies rather than going to sleep. I honestly feel better now that I’ve got myself on a better sleep schedule.

17. I should push myself out of my comfort zone but also know my limits.

I would have missed out on a lot if I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I hope to do it even more in this next decade. It’s good to run towards some of the things that terrify but fascinate me. However, it’s also good to know that everyone has limits. It’s good if I can recognize situations or places that always make me feel uncomfortable and to try and keep myself out of that environment.

18. Music and concerts are therapeutic.

Music has been a part of so many aspects of my life (as it is for many). It’s played on road trips, at parties, at big life events, in my room, in the movies I love watching, and the list goes on. It’s no surprise that music is therapeutic and something so many people can relate to and love. One of my favorite parts about music is getting to go to concerts. Taylor Swift, Julia Michaels, Aly & AJ, Miranda Lambert, Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and Selena Gomez are just some of the artists I’ve been lucky enough to see in my life, and whose concerts let me really let loose, and just be in the moment and feel all the feelings. And that’s great, and something I hope I get to experience quite often in the next decade and beyond.

19. It's important to be knowledgeable about the world.

This can be looked at in two different ways.

On one hand, learning about other cultures and places is interesting and important on opening up the mind and broadening horizons (kind of like what I stated about traveling). It’s cool to see how people live, talk, what customs they have, etc. and to recognize that while we’re all different, we also all have a lot of things in common.

On the other hand, it’s important to be knowledgeable of the issues in the world. It’s good to know what big concerns there are and learning about them so I can see where I stand on it as well as knowing what I can do to help people. For example, with refugee crisis, knowing what is going on in their country and what they are facing so I can look into what I can do to help provide assistance (such as donating, raising awareness, praying, etc. We can all do something). It’s important.

20. Be active in politics and be respectful with politics.

Being active in politics is vital to helping shape the present and future. Being educated about issues, empathizing with people, being aware, opening up my world to be bigger, and having an open mind is all important when approaching politics. It’s also imperative that I make sure I am always respectful when doing this. If I disagree with someone, I don’t attack them. If someone attacks me, I ignore them. If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Don’t play stupid games.

21. Dog videos and cat videos will always make me feel better.

There’s not much to say about this except it’ll always make me happy and dogs and cats are so cute and deserve all the best things in the world. Also please send any and all dog and cat videos my way.

22. It’s so good to get to meet people from different backgrounds, lifestyles, cultures, etc.

Through traveling and living several different places, I’ve been lucky enough to meet people from all over the world. This has opened up my mind and has helped me to be able to recognize the different issues people face. It has helped me see so many lifestyles and values and I have learned a lot about the world through these people. I am thankful for them.

23. Being open about mental health is so important.

I have social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, AKA anxiety and depression. I’ve talked about this a lot in the past few years, however it took me awhile to get to that point. I was first diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I finally was able to be open about it and talk about it (and I have to thank Jared Padalecki for being a huge reason I was able to do that through his words and Always Keep Fighting campaign).

Mental health isn’t just about diagnosable disorders, though. Everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical health. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be treated as so. It’s okay if a couple days need to be taken to feel better. It’s okay to not be okay, as cliché as that sounds. The more open people are about mental health, the more awareness there will be, and that will lead to healthier minds.

24. Encouraging friends is something that should be done daily.

Let me repeat that, ENCOURAGING FRIENDS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE DAILY. Everyone needs encouragement. Uplifting others is the easiest thing a person can do that can make such a big impact. Uplift them, encourage them. I am genuinely so proud of so many of my friends, and I try to tell them that often.

25. Watching movies will always be my joy and therapy.

I watch a lot of movies. A lot. And it’s because I genuinely love them. I find so much joy and entertainment being able to escape into different worlds and lives and situations for a couple hours. I also turn to them when I am sad or dealing with anxiety and depression and need something to help me. They are therapeutic. They are fun. I am thankful they exist, and I don’t care if that sounds weird to someone (see #1). I also love learning about them and knowing different aspects of them, such as how a scene was filmed or how an actor approached the character. Random challenge: when watching one of your favorite movies, take yourself out of the story for a minute and just watch the characters on screen as actors. It’ll blow your mind on how talented they are.

26. Creativity can be expressed in a lot of ways.

I’m a relatively creative person and sometimes it feels like I can’t find a way to express that, which makes me go crazy. I used to think I had to have a specific and grand outlet in order to express creativity, but that’s not true. I can express my creativity in the clothes I wear, the things I write, in painting or making bracelets, in photography and videography, or even in every day conversation. There are so many ways to express it, and none of them are wrong or not enough. I’ll do me and you do you.

27. It's good to have people who inspire me, but I shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

A lot of different people inspire me. Some are family, some are friends, some are musical artists, some are actors, some are YouTube creators, some are activists, some are just random people on Instagram or Twitter or wherever, and the list goes on. And it’s great to be inspired by other people. It’s nice to have people to look up to or who inspire me to be myself or express myself. However, it’s always important not to put them on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect. We’re all people.

28. Be kind, be empathetic, be patient, but stand up for myself.

Kindness, empathy, and patience are all things we should strive to have. I always try my hardest to be kind to everyone (sometimes I fail, like everyone, but I try). I have realized I have a lot of empathy, which is great and I’m thankful that I have that. I’m working on patience with myself, but I do try to be patient with other people. However, I also need to know when to stand up for myself. Sometimes people mistake kindness for weakness and try to push me down; I shouldn’t let them do that. I can still be kind while standing firm.

29. I may never understand a struggle someone's going through but that doesn't mean it's not real.

Often times when people talk about their struggles, I see others say, “well I have never experienced that or have seen that so it must not be true.” And that’s a poor way of thinking.

For example, as a white person, I’ll never fully understand the struggles and obstacles that racial minorities face. But it’s so, so important I still recognize that those struggles and obstacles exist and do my part in trying to help improve them. Another example is that a man will never fully understand the struggles and obstacles I face as a woman, but they should still recognize that those things are real.

30. I know that age is just a number and turning 30 next year just gives me a new decade to look forward to.

And last but not least, turning 29 shouldn’t be a scary thing. Age shouldn’t make anyone sad or feel like they have failed at life or something for not reaching a certain point (see #6). People put too much emphasis on age sometimes and it’s ridiculous. I’m 29. I’ll be 30 next year. It doesn’t mean anything except that I’m given a new slate to start a new decade of my life, and that should excite me, not scare me. So here’s to 29, I hope my last year in my 20s is great…but I have a feeling my 30s will be even greater.

[katarinachui]

a guide to surviving your first year at university: things i learnt during my first year

I remember my first day of university. I was sitting in the car as my mum drove me to the place where I would spend the majority of the next four years of my life in. I might have looked calm, but inside, I was panicking. Big time.

Change can be a scary thing; but that’s what’s needed in order for you to grow, mature, and progress through life. We are wired to adapt, and despite my fears and uncertainties, I soon settled into the normal routine of university.

Life is all about growth and change, and arguably, most of that change happens right around now. Though this whole new world of freedom may seem enticing and shiny, but it also means that we are responsible for our own health and wellbeing, which brings me to my first point: Your mental health is far more important than your grades.

University is great, but it may also be stressful as you are in an entirely new environment. Talk to your TA (teacher’s assistant) or professor if you’ve got any concerns about your grades or the course. If you feel like you’re not at your best or that your mental health is not doing so well, take a breather. Read your favourite book. Go take a nap. Do something that will clear your mind, even just for a little while. Your studies will be waiting for you when you get back.

In my first year, I was very worried about my grades, up to the point where I would choose to sacrifice sleep just to squeeze in a few more hours of studying in. But here’s the secret: your third and fourth-year grades are far more important than your first-year grades. Just because you ought to do your best doesn’t mean you also ought to sacrifice your health. Though your GPA is important, don’t stretch yourself too thin. You know your own limits and at what stress level you perform best at.

Meeting new friends might be scary, but it’s also what makes the university experience better. Go to welcome day/orientation or any event geared toward first-years. That is the perfect opportunity for you to meet new people and make friends. If your university does tutorials/labs, which are smaller classes from your lecture with a TA, it might be easier for you to befriend your classmates because it will be the same fifteen people for a whole semester.

Keep track of all your due dates – have a sticky note, journal, whatever. Though it may sound like a bore, end-of-term-you will be grateful. It’s going to be hectic, and there will be a million things that will be due. Having something to keep track of all your due dates will prevent you from panicking after realising you have a big project due tomorrow and you haven’t started.

Make/join chat groups of your classes. The buddy system is REAL in university. I took an introductory physics course in my first semester, and without my friends and the people in my group chat, I probably wouldn’t have walked away with the grade I got.

If the prof uploads lecture slides, don’t write down the notes they show on the screen. Either just listen or write down the stuff they say that isn’t on the slide. The only exception to this is if they upload incomplete lecture slides, which will be announced in the first week of classes.

You’ve probably heard this before, but don’t skip the first week of classes. It’s usually just going over the syllabus but sometimes they already assign homework or readings. I remember I had a professor in one of my classes just skip the introduction of himself, the TA, and the syllabus and head straight into lecture. It’s rare, but it does happen.

Usually, in a larger university/class, TAs will be the ones marking your work. They are your secret weapons. You can ask them for help/feedback on your outline and generally they will be happy to do so.  I’ve also had some TAs who would look over my draft and give me pointers—not every TA does this, but it never hurts to ask.

I first developed this list when a friend from high school asked me to give him tips on doing well in university; after I told him everything, he told me that that was a lot of things to remember. It probably is, but like I said earlier, humans are wired to change and adapt. It’s in our blood. You’ll get the hang of it, I promise. And if not, just remember that it never hurts to ask for help. Professors and TAs, contrary to film portrayal, are usually decent human beings who want to see you succeed, and they’re always happy to talk to you during their office hours. (I’ve actually had one prof who told me how usually no one shows up during office hours so she’s always happy to see students show up at her door. She also told me that she likes to use those hours to get to know her students more. Hint hint!)

And last of all, please remember that education, especially post-secondary education, is a privilege and not a right. For many youths around the world, they are denied the opportunity to continue their education, be it a family, personal, economic, or outlying factor. Keep this in mind next time you skip your classes because “you didn’t feel like it” – not only will you be disregarding this privilege, you are also wasting an opportunity many only dream of.

[ashworthbeatty1-blog]

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Fallout 76 lacks the compelling and complex narrative necessary to appeal to numerous of today's gamers. Mouse aim in certain feels like it somehow went backwards from what it was in Fallout four. Personally, it feels like I cannot physically get the slider for mouse sensitivity low enough to match the sensitivity I have in other games. Even worse, it feels like there's just enough built in mouse acceleration in Fallout 76 to make me regularly fallout 76 download query my sanity. It is not game breaking, but it really is annoying when you are trying to line up headshots and attacks on the fly, particularly thinking about a lot of the iron sights on weapons really feel like they're just subtly off from exactly where they need to be. 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A lot of people will keep in mind their favorite characters from earlier games, but that no longer exists right here. Fallout 76 is a seriously shoddy attempt at attempting to cash in on the multiplayer survival industry. Fallout with buddies is an intriguing notion on paper, but we can not believe of numerous a lot more techniques that Bethesda could have screwed it up. Each and every online aspect of the release is half-baked and poorly implemented, but even as a single player experience, Fallout 76 would fall flat thanks to its archaic design and astoundingly poor globe constructing. If you actually, actually enjoyed the gameplay loop of Fallout four and want to share it with buddies, you might just locate nuggets of fun scattered throughout, but even then, you are much better off waiting to see whether Bethesda can fix the game's unforgivable technical efficiency. Fallout 76 is a stain on the developer's record, and one particular that will not be easily scrubbed clean. Gone are the myriad characters that make "Fallout" so memorable. Gone is the principal narrative thread major via the game. Gone is any semblance of cohesion — this is a game about taking on fetch quests, finishing How to Download Fallout 76 those fetch quests, and then perhaps listening to an audio log that's supposed to stand in for an actual story with written characters. Fallout 76 compromises on a lot of stuff classic to Fallout” just to hold up with the multiplayer hype. The game keeps looping via the very same ‘explore, kill, explore' routine more than and over once again, and following an initial tutorial, you happen to be even bound to forget that you have some primitive sort of base constructing in the game. The quality of the quests have fallen also challenging, and the game planet feels barren even when there are a couple fallout 76 download of individuals logged into the server. I even got into a server where I was literally the only individual playing. The lack of NPCs genuinely delivered a low-blow to the game. With no the presence of charming NPCs to ease your transition into the world and events, the Appalachia wasteland comes off as the most uninspired setting in a mainline Fallout game to date. Such a shame really since there are a couple of cool locations like the Mothman Museum and Wavy Willards waterpark. Developed by Zenimax On the internet, a new studio founded precisely to make this game, it was also criticized from the extremely start for becoming a big departure from preceding Elder Scrolls installments. When it launched on Computer, Elder Scrolls On the Fallout 76 download web received mixed reviews, as well, due to bugs and other problems. The developers stuck with it, even though, and constantly delivered fixes and new content till it became one of the ideal games in the genre. Bethesda Game Studios, the award-winning creators of Skyrim and Fallout four, welcome you to Fallout 76, the on the web prequel exactly where each surviving human is a true individual. Operate with each fallout 76 download other, or not, to survive. Below the threat of nuclear annihilation, you'll knowledge the biggest, most dynamic globe ever created in the legendary Fallout universe. There are a lot of locations to discover in the Fallout 76, even though a handful of locations are fairly safe, others are property deadly monsters. The monsters are doubtless the only components of Fallout that think hot and fuzzy. These monsters are quite Fallout 76 Download inventive and typically, the stuff nightmares are made of, that is a decent factor. There is all the time a relentless fear of anything lurking about in the wasteland, that's an additional welcomed Fallout connected emotion. That is one particular of the things that stands out most to me about Fallout 76. Even folks who had no interest in video games prior are interested in this a single due to the fact it is the very first to show off their geography and culture. I spoke with a doorman for 15 minutes about how excited he was to see the location where i can download fallout 76 he worked at in a video game. It really is one thing I take for granted in NYC playing by means of Marvel's Spider-Man recently made me recognize just how much I was utilised to seeing those buildings and streets in the games I play.

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Emotional Numbness

Weekly Discussion

At some point or another we’ve all heard these words before:

“Suck it up princess!” “Be a man!” “Stop being a cry-baby,” “Get over it,” “Stop being so sensitive,” “Get thicker skin!”

While these words were likely spoken without consciously intending us long-term harm, they nevertheless point to a common and undeniably tragic truth in our society: that expressing your emotions is a sign of weakness, rather than strength.

If you were born into an emotionally repressed culture that valued the “masculine” ideals of efficiency and logic, it is likely that you struggle with some level of emotional numbness.

If you were born into a family that shunned any form of strong emotional expression, it is even more likely that emotional numbing is an issue for you.

And if you experienced an extremely traumatic life event that was simply too overwhelming for you to handle (from which you haven’t recovered), I can almost guarantee that you suffer from emotional numbness.

So how does emotional numbness impact virtually every part of our life? And what advice can I share with you after going through my own struggle with this issue? Keep reading and you’ll find out.

What is Emotional Numbness?

Emotional numbness is a defense mechanism employed by the mind to avoid intense and overwhelming emotions such as fear, hatred, jealousy, and grief. When you go emotionally numb, you lose the ability to feel and experience your emotions on a psychological and emotional level. In this sense, emotional numbness is often clinically connected with dissociation, which is the disconnection from one’s memories, identity, environment, body, or senses.

What Causes Emotional Numbness?

As with most issues, emotional numbness goes back to childhood and the way we were raised by our parents. Being abused by our parents physically, emotionally, sexually, psychologically, or spiritually can contribute towards our inability to self-regulate emotions, which results in emotional numbness. Feeling alienated or disconnected from one or both of our parents, or family at large, can also contribute towards emotional numbness. Being punished whether directly or indirectly for expressing our emotions in childhood also creates emotional numbness.

Numbing our emotions may also start after a severely traumatic experience, such as witnessing acts of violence, being assaulted, experiencing rape, suffering intense loss, or anything that we didn’t have the capacity to psychologically and emotionally handle in the moment. For this reason, emotional numbness is often a symptom of PTSD and various anxiety disorders.

Emotional numbness is also influenced by our culture and wider social circles, particularly those that emphasize being stoic, rational, and emotionally invulnerable (e.g., British, Chinese, American, Russian).

The Danger of Emotional Numbness

If you even have the slightest inkling that you might be emotionally numb, it’s time to listen up. Emotional numbness is not a small character flaw or minor area of self-growth to improve in – it is a serious problem which needs to be addressed immediately.

Speaking from experience, emotional numbness has formed the root of many issues I have faced (and still continue to face) in my life. Due to my upbringing in an emotionally stunted, dogmatically religious family whom I felt disconnected from for the majority of my life, I never learned how to handle strong emotions. I was punished verbally, emotionally or physically anytime I expressed strong emotions, and freethinking or any form of dissent was rejected, resulting in being ostracized.

The combination of having a British father and a mother who was traumatized by her own emotionally unstable mother – on top of an oppressive fundamentalist religion – led to grooming me as a stoic and “stable” person who was taught that expressing emotions was not only bad but shameful.

As you can see, sometimes there are numerous factors at play that may contribute to your inability to regulate intense emotions, and therefore resort to unconsciously numbing them. In my case, I learned that strong emotions = punishment in one form or another, and so I learned that they were dangerous to experience.

The danger of disconnecting from your emotions is that it can lead to a host of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual issues. Such issues may include dysfunctional coping mechanisms (obsessive compulsions), mild to severe depression, spiritual emptiness, inability to enjoy life, inability to form close and fulfilling relationships, disconnection from inner self, confusion, irritability, fatigue, addictions, chronic illnesses, and somatic illnesses (illnesses produced by the mind). In extreme cases (and I’m talking about situations where emotional contact is nil), emotional numbness can lead to acts of cruelty.

Why is it ‘the Secret Illness’?

I call emotional numbness the secret illness because it is so pervasive in our society, and so socially acceptable, that it often flies underneath the radar. In a society that largely doesn’t know how to handle strong emotions in healthy ways, being stoic and “level-headed” is valued – yet this very same calm and collected facade often conceals unhealthy detachment from one’s feelings. Thus, emotional numbness is a secret illness because so many of us struggle with it, yet don’t even realize that we have it until chronic issues start emerging.

13 Signs You’re Struggling With Emotional Numbness

Emotional detachment is not always a bad thing. It comes in handy when you need to maintain boundaries, avoid undesired energy overload from others, and even help others in crisis situations. But emotional detachment turns into its unhealthy twin (emotional numbness) when it becomes an automatic inner defense mechanism. “What’s so great about feeling strong emotions?” you might ask. The answer is that without feeling our emotions, we don’t have the capacity to live and learn from them or experience the beauty and depth of life.

Here are some of the most significant signs of emotional numbness that you should look out for:

Inability to express strong negative or positive emotions

Inability to “fully participate” in life (i.e., feeling like you’re a passive observer)

Feeling that life is like a dream (a sense unreality)

Living on autopilot

Lack of interest in activities others find enjoyable

Feeling distant from others

The tendency to withdraw from friends and family members

Emotions are only felt in the body as sensations, but not by the mind (or else are completely muted in the body and show up only as illness)

Dislike of people who express strong emotions (both positive and negative)

Not feeling anything in situations that would usually generate strong emotion

Panic or terror when strong emotions eventually breakthrough

Feeling empty inside

Physical and emotional numbness or “flatness”

In extreme circumstances (such as in PTSD sufferers), emotional numbness may even influence the desire to commit suicide. If you are considering suicide, please seek out support immediately.

How to Overcome Emotional Numbness?

Like any psychological defense mechanism, emotional numbing can be complex to deal with, and often requires support from a trained professional such as a therapist.

If you feel that emotional numbness is significantly impairing your life, please do an act of self-compassion and seek out support either locally or online (there are even free counselling services online).

For the time being, here are some helpful practices which I have personally found to increase my ability to feel, cope with, and express strong emotions:

Anchor yourself to your body. As mentioned above, emotional numbing is connected to dissociation (mental disconnection from one part of yourself). In my case, whenever I experience strong emotions, my automatic response is to either (a) only feel the emotions in my body, not my mind, or (b) to have a complete meltdown. In both cases, one of the best self-soothing mechanisms I’ve learned is to anchor myself to my body through mindfulness and physical contact. Similar to what a mother does with her child, I tightly but gently hold one area of my body – usually my hand or stomach. This method helps me to feel contained and grounded in my body. I also recommend using shapewear or a pressure vest to help you in extremely emotionally turbulent periods to anchor yourself to your body (here is a good example of shapewear). Shapewear is used by women and men to keep “love handles” and other body parts slim and defined. For our purposes, shapewear is like a hug to the body that will help you feel safe and ‘held together.’ Pressure vests are a little more expensive and they are used by people with sensory integration disorders (such as autism) to relax.

Deep breathing. Whether used alone or in conjunction with the above-mentioned technique, deep breathing is a simple and easy way to help you mindfully move through whatever you’re experiencing. This practice is particularly useful when intense feelings such as fear or rage break through. There are many books out there that talk about the importance of deep breathing (such as this one), and there are many online tutorials with breathing techniques. I recommend sticking to something simple, something you don’t have to think about too much, and something that doesn’t feel forced. The point of deep breathing isn’t to follow someone else’s technique perfectly, it is to use your breath (in whatever way suits you), to calm your mind and body. Also, I recommend breathing slowly, deeply, and softly instead of forcing deep breaths (which can increase anxiety) – let your breath be natural. Read more about how to relax using deep breathing.

Keep a journal of sad thoughts. I realize this suggestion may sound a tad bit melancholic, but it’s a practice worthy of your time and effort, particularly if you’re wanting to feel and express your emotions. Journaling is also a powerful form of shadow work (a way to express what you would usually suppress). In a physical journal or online diary, spend five to ten minutes every day writing down something which triggers even the slightest pang of sadness in you. For example, you might write down a memory of your dog who died, an issue in the world, something someone said to you, a scene from a movie, a daily struggle or virtually anything that is upsetting (or what you imagine would be upsetting). Creating a sad thoughts diary has two main benefits. One, it helps you express your emotions, even if in an indirect way at first. And two, it acts as a catalyst for feeling and letting out your emotions, particularly when you need momentum (I’ll elaborate more on this soon). Always try to finish your sad thought journaling with something uplifting, like reading the uplifting news subreddit, spending time with someone you love, playing with a pet, or watching something entertaining on YouTube or Netflix.

Catharsis (let it all out, baby!). When emotionally numbing ourselves becomes our default defense mechanism, we tend to have a huge amount of suppressed emotion lying just beneath our conscious awareness. In order to safely and effectively express your suppressed emotions, try some form of catharsis. Catharsis may involve screaming into or punching a pillow, using your sad thoughts journal (mentioned above) to stimulate sadness and crying, intense emotional-fuelled exercise, impassioned dancing, or dynamic meditation. Regular catharsis should be a must on your journey. Without regularly ‘letting it all out,’ you run the risk of experiencing the repercussions of festering emotions (i.e., depression, emptiness, chronic illness, etc.).

Yoga and self-massage. Yoga is a well-known way of helping to clear and balance your energy. Not only that, but yoga often has a way of releasing emotions stored in the body. I recommend doing slow and gentle forms of yoga such as Hatha yoga for at least ten minutes a day. Remember, the goal isn’t to become some Instagram-perfect yoga star; it is to connect with your body, mind, and heart. The truth is that our unexpressed and repressed emotions are often stored within our bodies. I like to think of our bodies as being reflections of our unconscious mind: they are maps that help us to figure out what we are keeping locked away, and what unresolved issues we need to face. In my article about chronic muscle tension, I list the nine types of emotions trapped in different areas of the body. In order to release these emotions, I regularly use something called the ‘Acuball’ to introduce fresh blood flow and energy into these tense areas. I like the Acuball because it gives me a deep tissue massage, while also helping me to stay grounded in my body, relax, and release pent-up stress. (You can get the Acuball here).

Creatively express your feelings (or lack thereof). Write a song, doodle in a journal, paint a picture, create a collage, find some way of expressing what emotion you last felt. If you struggle to feel anything at all, express that artistically. Grab those greys and blacks and turn that damn page into your own work of art. Pay attention to how you feel afterward. Does even the slightest feeling of satisfaction enter you? Journal about these emotions.

Take care of your inner child. As it was your child self that likely copped the trauma that caused you to default to emotional numbing, take care of this part of you. Practice inner child work and find ways of comforting and nurturing this vulnerable place within you. You may even like to create empowering affirmations for your inner child to help him or her access emotions. For example, you might repeat to yourself when you are in a difficult circumstance, “It is OK for me to feel,” “It is safe for me to feel sad,” “My anger is valid,” “Being vulnerable is being strong,” and so forth.

Dedicate space and time to feeling. In our busy lives, it is very easy to numb and distract ourselves with social media, the TV, shopping, food, social commitments, and other things that constantly cause us to look outside. Looking inside is much harder and requires far more self-discipline, hence why most people don’t do it. If you are serious about overcoming your emotional numbness, you will need to dedicate space and time to all of the activities I have mentioned in this article. If you struggle with self-discipline, I recommend making yourself externally accountable by joining a meditation group or other practice to help you turn inwards. Please don’t skip this step, it is imperative that you spend time exploring your inner self, and in particular, what you are repressing and why.

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Emotional Numbness Q&A

Here are some commonly asked questions about emotional numbness. Hopefully they’ll answer any remaining concerns or thoughts you may have about this topic:

What causes emotional detachment?

The simple answer is trauma. Usually, emotional detachment (or numbness) can be linked to early childhood experiences such as being abused mentally, emotionally, sexually, or physically. However, not everyone who experiences emotional detachment had tough childhoods. Sometimes, other traumatizing experiences later in life can trigger emotional detachment as a protective mechanism (such as divorce, job loss, rape, illnesses, war, etc.).

Can numbness be a sign of anxiety?

Yes, emotional numbness can mask intense feelings of anxiety – it’s the mind’s way of protecting itself from being flooded by overwhelming emotions. Numbness is a primal reaction to fear and is also known as the freeze response. There are three main reactions to anxiety-provoking situations that we have: fight, flight, and freeze.

How to fix emotional numbness?

To fix, or rather regain the ability to feel again, it’s important to be gentle with yourself. Try reconnecting with your body, practicing deep breathing, doing some catharsis, journaling, and creating a safe environment for yourself. Seeking out professional support is usually crucial, as emotional numbness is usually a major sign of a traumatized nervous system. To regulate your nervous system, you need a safe holding environment, which a professional therapist/counsellor can provide.

[zorovevo]

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thinking that they will always have a chance to get out of position before it reaches max loss.

program for learnomg options trading Tennessee Why Size Matters - Especially In Options TradingIn my previous article I wrote about how style drifting could kill your trading account.

(For the record, I don't usually trade biotech's because of all these wild card factors)Putting it all TogetherRelative sizing is one of the toughest things to get right as an investor or trader. If you invest for a long enough time. you're bound to get it wrong on some positions. The key is trying to get a deeper understanding of the risk associated with the position, what option factors influence (time, volatility, stock price movement) it and how. For me, I like to play the number's game and let the probabilities work out. by sizing my positions with the max risk already set in place. However, I understand that some of you have a little bit more risk tolerance than me. so I wanted to show you what else to consider when taking on more risk by sizing up. Obviously experience is the best teacher.

options trading income Tennessee 60 x the multiplier of 100 shares = $4,860However, the option investor is only willing to risk $1,000 on the position on a $50,000 portfolio.

For example, they could come out and say that will not have their results ready and change the announcement date to something else. Those who bought option premium will see the value of those options lose a lot of value because of the volatility crush. (For the record, I don't usually trade biotech's because of all these wild card factors)Putting it all TogetherRelative sizing is one of the toughest things to get right as an investor or trader. If you invest for a long enough time. you're bound to get it wrong on some positions. The key is trying to get a deeper understanding of the risk associated with the position, what option factors influence (time, volatility, stock price movement) it and how. For me, I like to play the number's game and let the probabilities work out.

swing trading options course Tennessee Obviously experience is the best teacher.

theoretical. The only thing that matters is what you can buy or sell at. Are you giving yourself enough margin for error when looking at the volatility?Over the last year, UVXY has had 23 (+/-) 10% single day moves or greater. In addition, option volatility can really take off in this ETF. For example, on 7/24/14 the 30-day option volatility in UVXY was 105. 3%. on 8/1/14 the 30-day option volatility was 158. 63%. on 8/4/14 the 30-day option volatility went down to 132. 1%. on 8/5/14 the 30-day option volatility was back to 152. 1%Pretty wild.

books on options trading for beginners Tennessee Of course, some listen.

so I wanted to show you what else to consider when taking on more risk by sizing up.

advice for options trading Tennessee You see, I've already outlined my line in the sand.

Again, the investor in our example was probably thinking now is a good level to short some premium. However, they wasted all there bullets without any room for error. Going all in or full size was not the right play in this situation. You see, it's important to have some kind of perspective and understanding of the stock or ETF you're trading. The type of move we saw in UVXY is not uncommon relative to how it trades. The option investor should have been aware of this and sized smaller. Putting volatility levels into context is essential if you're going to be using options to express investment ideas. Examine the time frame?In my previous article , I share a story of one of my trades, where I had to close out a position because I was leaving to go to a dentist appointment. I bought back some short puts for $0. 10 expiring in an hour. those options that I bought back ended up closing deep ITM. Again, near-term options have the potential from being deep OTM to deep ITM very quickly (and vice-versa). Position sizing is critical for near term options. it doesn't matter if you're buying or selling premium. In many cases, if I do buy premium on an option expiring in a short time frame. I'll make it a binary trade. Basically the premium spent on the position is what I'm willing to lose. For example, if options are $0. 50 and I want to risk $500 max on the trade. I will buy 10 contracts. If I get my move.

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