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thetriggeredhappy · 3 years

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recently rediscovered your blog and read the fic from your dad spy au where scout starts out as the "guard" and then becomes scout from there and lemme tell you that shit put me on some s-tier brainrot. like a cranial decay type beat.

i had a concept in my head that instead of being hired as a guard, he could have been hired as a right hand man to the administrator like pauling, because i think hed be awesome in that position. like imagine having a personal merc who can get in fast and out even faster. but maybe he would stay in the base like the rest of them, sort of like a secret on call intel gatherer, who also maybe sometimes has to dig a couple graves. and also like, nobody on the team expects anything from him at first because its this 20 year old newbie kid. hes dressed in his formal clothes and he talks like somebody from relatively around boston but not quite. i can just imagine one day he comes back during a team dinner with his shirt half untucked and stained with blood, hair disheveled as he asks soldier if he can borrow his shovel, or him debriefing them for a mission when miss pauling is busy. same vibe as the fic i mentioned before but scout gets to have a job as cool as miss paulings. honestly id write it myself if i didnt have the attention span of a fly

anyways your scout content gives me life thank you

scout teamfortress but 20% more competent standing next to miss pauling teamfortress while she's doing her job and doing like silly quips and otherwise contributing nothing like it's a buddy cop film is literally my fucking ideal

(warnings for some canon-typical violence)

“Oh, Pauling, it’s good to see you again,” greeted the chairman, smiling in an imitation of a grandfather and clasping her hands perhaps too-kindly considering she barely knew him. “Young as ever, and still so stylish, I see. And who’s the new fellow?”

“He’s just here to help with transport, Mr. Montgomery, nothing unusual,” Miss Pauling replied, returning his smile and adjusting her glasses. “Heavy cases, you know how it is.”

“Of course, I remember you almost toppling clean over last time we made a trade!” Montgomery agreed, frowning at the memory. “You’ll pull a muscle that way, better to be careful. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man. And your name?”

“Mr. Normandy, sir,” the new kid replied easily enough despite his slight East Coast accent, giving the man a firm handshake, expression neutral and stony, the picture of professionalism. Internally, Pauling breathed a sigh of relief.

“Firm grip there, young man,” Montgomery praised, nodding approvingly. “Tennis player, perhaps? Or golf?”

“Baseball, sir,” he replied, still evenly. “First baseman.”

“Ah! Of course! Were you any good?” Montgomery joked.

“At everything but playing in front of the crowds, otherwise I’d be in the major leagues,” he replied, tilting his head just slightly to imply that he was joking, his sunglasses glinting at the movement, and Montgomery barked a laugh.

“I like this one, Miss Pauling!” Montgomery said, and Pauling just barely caught herself from physically relaxing at it.

“We do too, Mr. Montgomery,” she agreed. “I was under the impression that you’re very busy today, so we won’t keep you for too long, we just wanted to sort out the final details surrounding the manufacturing rights for the—“

“—Pacific Northwest branch, up into British Columbia and Alberta, of course,” Montgomery agreed, nodding faintly. “Of course, of course.” He turned to regard his own man in a dark suit, the one standing to the right, who appeared to be unsuccessfully trying to stare down Normandy, who was completely ignoring him. “My briefcase, please.”

The man handed over the briefcase, and Montgomery put it on his desk, opening it and pulling out a sheaf of papers. “All our requests are submitted and approved, at this point we just had a few dustbins to take care of regarding initial percentages and making sure everything is wired to the correct accounts, which names are undisclosed, things like that,” Pauling explained as he glanced through the papers.

“Right, right, everything looks good here,” the man murmured, nodding to himself, sending his long-white hair just ever-so-slightly out of place. “I’m assuming these more sensitive documents should be sent some way besides through the mail?”

“If you finish them today I can take them with me, otherwise either me or Mr. Normandy can return to pick them up at your convenience,” she replied, to which Normandy gave a singular nod.

“Oh, it would only take me a short while,” Montgomery said, waving a hand. “We have a lovely lounge just down the hall from here if you’d prefer to wait there, it should only take me ten, fifteen minutes at most. In the meantime, I do believe there’s also the manner of payment for services rendered.”

Miss Pauling tilted her head just slightly to one side, confused.

“I arranged with Helen already,” Montgomery explained, not looking up from where he was initialing a few things. “The payment, rather than being wired, she asked to be made in material investment. A venture of mine from years ago that she’s willing to sit on. Rather than gold or bonds, she agreed to take some old currency of mine that my family collected, from early 18th century New Zealand and Australia. Monetarily it’s worth around the same, and I’m quite a bit attached to it to be entirely frank, but it was at her request to buy the whole collection from me, and after years of the work we’ve been doing together, well, I’d never trust it with anyone else.”

He gestured to the other man, the one on his left, who stepped forward to hand him a manila envelope, which he passed to Pauling.

“Inside is both keys, the door alarm codes, and all other security information for the building where the collection is being stored. They’ll ask for a few codes and confirmation of identity, only because several other art collections and artifacts are being stored there by other affluent individuals such as myself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling said, taking the envelope gratefully.

“Think nothing of it, my dear. Helen talked me into it all her own,” he said easily enough. “Now, gentlemen, if you would let Miss Pauling and Mr. Normandy into our lounge? I should have these wrapped up before any of us can even think about lunch, eh?”

One of the suits showed the two of them through the doors and down the hallway, through two doors bracketed by similar suits who simply nodded politely at Pauling and ticked their chins at Normandy as they passed them.

Normandy posted up beside the door for all of three seconds before they shut and Pauling pulled her glasses up, rubbing at the bridge of her nose and making a vaguely distressed noise. He then promptly relaxed, instead leaning his hip against an armchair probably worth the same amount as a small car. “So, uh, we’re glad that he’s giving us a bunch of commemorative coins from when dinosaurs still walked the earth?” he asked just below normal speaking volume, eyebrows raised.

“Yes. Very glad. Because unlike about six people total on the planet, he hasn’t figured out yet how valuable those are.”

“What, is a picture of a kangaroo on some copper really gonna make up for a couple hundred thousand American dollars?” Normandy asked, sounding doubtful.

“Not copper. Something else,” she replied. “I can’t tell you much more about it other than that, but these coins are made of something priceless to us. And to the Administrator.”

“…Love? Memories? The magic of family?” he joked, cracking a smile, and she rolled her eyes, moving to open the envelope and start reading the papers inside. “Hey, uh, not to question whether my job should exist, but what the hell am I doing here, exactly? Besides carrying a briefcase. Like, chivalry isn’t dead but I really don’t think you need me carrying your bags and holding the door for you.”

“You’re helping with security, basically,” she replied, adjusting her glasses to squint at tiny handwriting about the collection. “Mr. Montgomery is trustworthy, but he mostly hires out to… well, people like us. His security detail is mostly people we’d rather have screened, freelancers, stuff like that. A lot of people we contract out to are like that. Most of them have heard about me and know better than to try and pull something, since I can hold my own pretty well, but if they haven’t, seeing a second person might persuade them to think it over again.”

“Oh, so I’m like, uh, when it says ‘tow zone’ next to the no parking signs even though nobody checks, or when they’ve got a camera in the corner of the store that isn’t even plugged into anything,” he said, and the looked up at him, confused. “Like, uh, what’s the word… I’m a casual deterrent.”

“Sure,” she said, because it sounded like he knew what he was talking about, shuffling the papers back away and closing the envelope again, making a note to ask the Administrator if she should change their current containment procedures to be closer to Mr. Montgomery’s. “Just… if there’s a fight, you deal with it, otherwise you just stand there and look like you’re paying attention.”

“That’s what the sunglasses are for,” he agreed. “I was blinking morse code at the guy across from me literally the whole time.”

“You know morse code?” Pauling asked, surprised.

“Just the alphabet, ‘S.O.S.’, and ‘ass’.”

She rolled her eyes again, and that’s when the door opened.

She expected Mr. Montgomery, not one of the men in suits. “Excuse me, both of you, if you don’t mind,”the man said, accent having the slightest English tilt to it, a Londoner if Pauling had to guess. “You’re Miss Pauling, the Mann Co. affiliate, yes?”

“That’s me,” she agreed, hesitant, and glanced at Normandy.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. Mr. Montgomery have you the wrong envelope on accident,” the man said apologetically, extending a hand forward. “We apologize for this unfortunate mix-up, it’s really quite embarrassing, but those documents are sensitive and we’ll be needing to see them back now.”

Pauling looked at him, and within a moment, shifted her expression. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she agreed, nodding. “No, right, of course. These aren’t the papers for the currency collection?”

“I’m afraid not,” the Brit agreed, head tilting just slightly, hand still extended, moving a fraction further forward.

“Well, thank goodness we figured out now and not with us halfway back,” she joked, and moved to hold the folder closer to her body. “I’ll take this right back to Mr. Montgomery, then.”

“He’s sent me to correct the error,” the man explained simply.

“Right,” she said, and saw in her periphery that Normandy had already started sneaking a hand in towards his primary, clearly having pieced together something she was only suspecting. “We can bring this to his office, then, right down the hall.”

“You misunderstand,” the man said, taking a step forward again. “I’ll be taking it to his office myself.”

“That’s funny,” Pauling said. “I didn’t realize you had clearance to be in there. Or to be carrying a semi-automatic instead of a standard handgun.”

The Brit reached for the semi-automatic, and before he could even get it out properly, Normandy hit one clean shot to the side of his head and another to his thigh, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Pauling had only as far as pulling her own handgun free, thumb on the safety, and breathed a sigh of relief, glancing over at Normandy, shifting to more comfortably hold her gun. “Quick reflexes,” she noted.

“Just noticed a lot sooner, maybe,” he shrugged, stepping forward to glance over the body, tucking his gun back away.

“What was your hint?”

“He’s here to give us the right folder, yeah? Well, why were his hands empty, then?”

She was just starting to nod and realize that as well when a second man shouldered through the door, holding a gun at the ready. Normandy scrambled to draw his own, but Pauling fired a shot into his knee, shoulder, and neck to send him dropping before he was even close. “There’s quick on the draw, and then there’s prepared,” she said pointedly. “Gotta think of if there’s more than one, new guy.”

He nodded, and drew his gun again, bending to hit the guy on the ground at the temple hard enough to knock him out if he wasn’t unconscious already. He then glanced up at the sound of a shout from the other side of the door, two men shouldering through, guns drawn but lowered. It was only the firm eye contact they made with both her and Normandy that made her pause the millisecond it took to realize these ones weren’t trying to kill them.

“Pauling, what on earth is going on here?!” Montgomery demanded, entering the room and staring with wide eyes at the bodies on the ground. “What could’ve possessed you to—“

“He was trying to run off with these documents,” she explained quickly, gesturing with the envelope. “He knew whatever was in here was valuable.”

“He drew his gun, sir,” Normandy added, tipping his head down towards the body, and Pauling glanced down as well and found herself a little surprised. He’d rearranged the man just slightly, apparently, adjusting the arm to be holding the gun a bit further outward. “Other one was aiming to kill.”

“My, my,” Montgomery tsk’d, shaking his head as he surveyed the scene. “What a mess. My apologies, Miss Pauling, Mr. Normandy.”

“It’s alright, but you need to start doing more thorough checks on your staff, Mr. Montgomery,” Pauling stressed.

“He’s only been here two weeks, sir, he was one of the men we hired in a hurry after the incident last month,” one of the bodyguards said, and Montgomery shook his head.

“Thank goodness nobody was hurt,” he sighed. “Mutiny, and besides that, they’re bleeding on my carpet. Here are those papers, Miss Pauling—what a day, eh?”

“It’s really alright, we handled it,” Pauling assured him, giving her bravest smile, a little exasperated now.

“Right, right, you and the first baseman,” he agreed, and Normandy fought back an actual smile.

“If you’d like, we can take care of those for you,” Pauling said, gesturing at the bodies. “To pay you back for the carpet and the scare.”

“Sounds fair to me,” Montgomery agreed, clearly relieved.

“My dad’s gonna be pissed, by the way,” Normandy was so helpful as to say on the way back up the path to the base. “And you’re fielding that.”

“About the suit, or the fight?” she asked, glancing at his clothes where he was somewhat covered in a fine dusting of mud and grime from the gravedigging, shovel still in his free hand.

“Both. Mostly the fight. Your fault for saying it’d be an easy one to start with,” he said.

“If it was going to be that much of a problem, you wouldn’t have gotten this job. I’d just have made you go do dishes all day or something,” Pauling replied.

“Point taken,” he said, walking ahead to get the door, holding it open for her. “Wait, we’re allowed to mention what we do, right? Just not names?”

“Or locations, even with travel distance. Round up to the hour if it comes up,” she replied.

“Sure, sure,” he agreed, trailing a step behind her as she led the way through the base.

In the common area, there was a bit of a ruckus happening. Soldier, Heavy, and Demo appeared to be having some kind of arm wrestling competition on a rapidly-toppling table, the Engineer was on a stepstool trying to fix the ceiling fan, and Sniper appeared to be half-watching the beginnings of an argument between Pyro and the Spy regarding use of the oven as Medic patched up a burn on his arm.

“Hullo,” Sniper greeted the two of them, sounding a little bored, Medic giving them a brief, polite nod. Normandy’s eyebrows were raised pretty far as he surveyed the room.

“Hi, Sniper,” she greeted in return, then cleared her throat, raised her voice. “Team meeting in five minutes! New mission for next week!”

Groans from the room at large, the eight mercenaries starting to finish up what they were doing and filing out. Spy moved over, glancing over Normandy and starting to talk to him in rapid-fire French, picking smaller bits of gravel off of his suit as they walked.

“Alright,” she addressed the room, Normandy peeling off from getting mother hen’d by Spy to stand next to the blackboard with her. “Monday, you’re all going on a transport mission. Getting the truck from point A to point B with everything in the boxes intact. Already we’ve had to put up with some people trying to get ahold of these things, so bring your guns.”

“Oh, our guns, you said? Lads, this is a serious one, keep your heads on a feckin' swivel, she’s sayin’ we might even need guns, can you believe it?” Demo faux-gasped, and chuckled when Spy bopped him on the arm, rolling his eyes at the Scot's theatrics.

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved off, flipping through the papers a bit. “So Engie, I’ll need the keys to the truck, me and Normandy are going to be loading those tomorrow, all of you need to be at this drop point bright and early.”

“How early?” Heavy rumbled.

“Six. Hour and a half of drive from here.”

Some complaints from the room that she sighed at.

“Hey, hey, calm the hell down,” Normandy cut in, and she glanced over at him where he had his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. “You chuckleheads get to have all eight of you to unload the damn thing, me and Miss P gotta do all the rest of this on our own and probably kill twenty guys on the way there and back. She had to be up at 6 AM, workin’ since 7 AM, lunch break at noon and nothin’ else, and we just got back now at, what, fuckin’, 10, 11 PM? Any of you work her shift and then see if you even got the energy to complain about wakin’ up early, how about that?”

The room went utterly devoid of complaint or backsass. “Thank you, Normandy,” she said politely, and he just nodded once, glancing off to the side. “Anyways, anything new on this end? Spy, how are you adjusting?”

“Very well,” he said simply. “I have nothing pressing to say. Once I’ve been updated from the stock weaponry provided here to my requested preferred weaponry, I believe I should do just fine.”

“I see you already have Herr Normandy digging graves,” Medic chimed in. “Straight into the hard labor, ja?”

“Eh, hey, y’know, it’s why they keep us young people around,” he shrugged, grinning, and there was a brief uproar to drown out Medic’s entirely offended scoffing and Spy’s snort-laughing.

“Get ‘im, lad!” Demo cheered, and Normandy indeed looked fairly proud of himself.

“Monday, transport mission,” Pauling noted over the noise, writing it up on the chalkboard to hide her own smile from the room. “Normandy, you and me are doing the boxes tomorrow. Everyone on the same page? Good. Dismissed. Oh, and Pyro—stop taking the fire alarms down when they beep. They’re beeping because you light things on fire in the base. Do that outside.”

“Oh, hey, uh, helmet guy, All-American Beef,” Normandy called, and Soldier straightened up. “Here’s your shovel back. Gettin’ my own tomorrow.”

 Soldier walked directly over to him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a high honor, Cadet,” he said, tone grave. “Do not take this responsibility lightly.”

“I, uh, I won’t?” he said hesitantly, and blinked a few times as the shovel was carefully taken from him before it was promptly marched from the room in double-time. Only then did Normandy look over at her. “So he’s always like that?”

“You’ll get used to it,” she assured, dusting chalk from her hands. “You should get to sleep soon, we have to be up early.”

“Sure thing, Miss P.”

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #my fanfiction #dad!spy #father-son bonding au #shut up me #que?#in this au he picks a fake name like she does. later i think demo starts calling him norman and some of the others do as well as goofs #also apologies for montgomery i couldnt quite get away with not naming random rich guy. just barely scraped by with guards one through four #everybody talks

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mariequitecontrarie · 5 years

Text

Put Me In, Coach: Part 2

Summary: The Golds run into "Coach David" Nolan in the grocery store and Rumplestiltskin is seized by a bout of jealousy. A/N: Because I love jealous Rumple + Belle showing him how unreasonable he’s being. ;) Written for the June @a-monthly-rumbelling: "That's the least romantic thing you've ever said to me." Thanks to @galactic-pirates for listening to me drone on about baseball.

On AO3 | Part 1| Part 1 on Tumblr

“Well, Rumple, what do you think?”

Belle plopped two quarts of Maine blueberries down on the conveyor belt, sweet little purple globes that heralded the last weeks of summer. Tonight, Henry was having a sleepover with Gideon at their house and she wanted to attempt a homemade blueberry cobbler for dessert.

Blueberries, not apples, were Henry’s favorite fruit, a preference his mother Regina didn’t appreciate, but was a great source of amusement to the rest of the family.

Rumplestiltskin sighed heavily, pretending to be put out. “Sweetheart, if you want to bake, I’m here to coach you on to victory.” He grinned. “For better or worse, remember?”

She stuck out her tongue at him, making him chuckle.

On this go-round, he’d have to pitch in as more than just chief taste-tester if they wanted to avoid the oven fire they’d had the last time she baked.

His wife possessed many wonderful qualities, but kitchen skills were not among them. When they’d lived together in the Dark Castle, he used to hover in the kitchen doorway for the sheer pleasure of watching her burn everything from chicken to cakes to carrots. He’d developed a particular talent for rescuing her meals in the nick of time.

Once, she’d singed her fingertips in the fire and he was so furious with himself for allowing her to be hurt, he’d locked himself in his tower for the rest of the night. Belle had stormed up the stone staircase holding a tray of tea and cakes and banged on the door until he relented. That evening, she’d spent hours reading to him from one of her favorites while he crowded next to her on the settee, dutifully eating burned scones and turning pages to protect her injured hand.

Who said dark magic never amounted to anything good?

He deposited sacks of flour and sugar on the conveyor belt, as well as vanilla ice cream. Whether the icy treat would be topping for the cobbler or their alternate dessert remained to be seen.

“Oh, goodie, you remembered the one with the vanilla beans.” Her face shone with pleasure when he showed her the black carton. It was so easy to make her happy.

“Where’re Gideon and Henry?”

“Still in the candy aisle.” He shrugged. “I gave them permission to choose one item.” The register dinged as the cashier rang out the customer in line ahead of them.

“Hey, Belle, Gold.” David Nolan slid a bottle of milk and a carton of brown eggs into a shopping bag. We just got back from our week at the beach and I’m here for the necessities.”

Rumplestiltskin felt a stab of envy. The domestic errand did nothing to diminish Nolan’s masculinity. He was every inch the golden god, his tanned arm muscles straining against the confines of his short-sleeved polo shirt. He’d bet David Nolan never worried about how he looked in a pair of bathing trunks.

“Nolan.” Suddenly grouchy, he crossed his thin, pasty arms, safely encased beneath his many layers of Armani. He normally didn’t break a sweat, even in the deep August heat, but today perspiration prickled the back of his neck. He rested a warm hand on top of the ice cream to cool himself.

“Haven’t seen you since the Golden Nuggets team awards dinner at Tony’s,” David said. “How are you guys?”

“David, hi. Gideon’s around here somewhere.” Belle poked her head above the register endcap and scanned what she could see of the candy aisle. “He’s been working on his swing and I’m sure he’d like to show you.”

“His game has come a long way.” David flashed a proud smile. “But I’m in a hurry. Maybe I could stop by and give him some pointers next week?”

Rumplestiltskin scowled and drummed his fingers on top of the ice cream carton. He’d like to offer Nolan some pointers of his own. Like on how to take care of his own family and leave his alone.

“Mary Margaret’s waiting in the car, so I’ll get right to it,” David said. “Now that baseball season’s over, we’ve decided to charter a football program. Neal Junior is excited to play quarterback. Would Gideon be interested in joining the team?” David accepted his change from the cashier, and the conveyor belt whined as Belle and Gold’s small collection of groceries wobbled toward the register. “It’s tag, not tackle.”

Rumplestiltskin wondered if that was meant to be reassuring.

He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Did the man need to coach every sport known to mankind? Perhaps Storybrooke needed tennis, golf, volleyball, and wrestling programs as well. And American football? It was a brute’s sport, and the Underworld would freeze over before he’d allow Gideon to play.

Belle hummed in consideration. “We were going to sign Gideon up for some indoor batting sessions, but we might introduce him to some other sports, depending. Rumple, what do you think?”

He couldn’t believe Belle was even entertaining the notion. “Why not take them down to Fortune’s Rocks for surfing lessons instead?” he suggested, clamping down on his back teeth.

Sarcasm hung in the air like fog and Nolan’s brow furrowed in confusion.

Fortune’s Rocks was an inlet a few miles down Storybrooke’s coast, a place where rough sea walls crashed sharply against enormous, craggy boulders. The locals knew Fortune’s waves were only for the most experienced, danger-loving surfers. Every summer, some poor unfortunate soul was injured or worse on its punishing rocks.

His wife pressed her lips into a thin white line. “Thanks for the offer, David,” she said. “We’ll get back to you.”

“No problem. Don’t wait too long, though. Practice starts next week.” Unflappable as ever, David exited the store with his groceries balanced on one arm, he free hand raised in a little wave.

Once the princeling had disappeared, Belle sighed. “What was that all about? I thought you liked David.”

“He’s tolerable.” Rumple huffed. “Tag or not, American football is too dangerous. A sport designed for those whose brains are in their biceps.” And for those who are strong and brave.

He crossed his arms again. He really needed to get into the backyard and work on his own tan. Somewhere in the bowels of the basement there was an old set of dumbbells. Perhaps he should start sneaking into the basement to lift weights instead of spending the wee hours spinning.

“It was only an offer, love. We could have politely said ‘no, thank you,’” Belle said.

He hated how measured and reasonable she was acting, but he couldn’t very well confess it was David’s handsome masculinity that had put him in such a foul temper. “He was certainly looking well after a week at the beach,” Gold allowed grudgingly.

“Yeah, he’s a hot ticket.” The elderly cashier, who had a shock of bright red hair and wore a nametag proclaiming her as Dora, jawed on a wad of bright pink bubble gum.

Ignoring Dora’s comment, Belle turned away from the groceries to run her hands up and down his chest. “It’s not a competition, Rumple. Not a fair one, at any rate.”

“True.” He was nothing special to look at. Bland as white toast and just as dry. He cracked jokes about being irresistible to women, but he recognized the truth as well as anyone else. People were attracted to his power. Only Belle had ever cared to peel back his layers to understand the quiet, fragile man beneath.

“I suppose David’s nice looking enough if boyish charm interests you.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Not me. I prefer a man with a leaner physique.”

Heat toasted Gold’s cheeks, making the cool grocery store feel like a sauna. “Sweetheart, that is the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me,” he drawled, covering his surprise.

As usual, his wife had read him like one of her well-loved, careworn books. Sometimes her innocent sweetness stupefied him. Who in their right mind would prefer Rumplestiltskin to Prince Charming? Then again, his Belle had always been an unusual creature.

“You know what I mean.” She moved her nails along his collarbones in teasing scrapes, her breath a lascivious whisper against his neck. “Wiry. Distinguished. And incredibly sexy in my favorite paisley tie.”

“Indeed,” he managed around a gulp.

“Anyway,” Belle turned to Dora, still making a show of fixing his tie. “I don’t think David Nolan is the cheating type.”

The cashier was gaping, the sticky mess of bubble gum half hanging out of her mouth. Whether she was shocked by the way Belle was touching him or her directness regarding David Nolan’s lack of availability, Rumplestiltskin couldn’t be sure.

Gideon poked his head around Rumple’s side and Belle stepped back. “What are you guys talking about?” Their son heaved an enormous package of Skittles on the conveyor. “Cheating?”

Uh oh. A change in subject was desperately in order.

“Did you two commandeer the largest bag of candy in the store?” Gold reached down to ruffle Gideon’s curly hair and then reached up to do the same to Henry.

“This and blueberry cobbler with ice cream.” Henry’s grin was triumphant. “Only the best when I sleep over, right Grandpa?”

He couldn’t resist smiling back. When it came to these boys, he was a complete marshmallow. They all knew the candy and the ice cream were insurance policies in case Belle’s latest baking experiment went awry. “That’s right, m’boy.”

Dora rang up the enormous bag of candy with the rest of their order. “Your total is $14.47,” she said, two red spots coloring the centers of her cheeks.

“They’re talking about cheating,” Gideon told Henry. “Like at a game.”

Rumplestilstkin felt his lips twitch. “Who said anything about cheating?” He handed the cashier money for the groceries. He turned to Belle, hoping for help with Henry and Gideon, but she shook her head and smothered a giggle. Very well; he’d torture her with tickling later.

“You did,” Gideon reminded him.

A dog with a bone, Rumplestiltskin thought darkly.

“We didn’t mean that kind of cheating,” he said, then instantly regretted it. Why in the name of all the realms was he still talking?

“What other kind of cheating is there?” Gideon frowned.

Growing exasperated, Rumplestiltskin pinched the bridge of his nose. Their son’s dogged determination was a trait he’d inherited from both he and Belle. Today, it was not serving his father well. “There’s no cheating. No one is cheating.”

“Right, Grandpa.” Henry winked. “You mean this bit right here at the baseball games?” He wriggled his fingers and waggled his eyebrows.

Both boys blinked at him with feigned innocence. Gold was nonplussed. Why hadn’t it occurred to him that Henry might put the pieces together?

“Well, I…” For once the silver-tongued Rumplestiltskin was at a loss for words.

Faced those trusting expressions, mocking or otherwise, he found he couldn’t gloss over the truth.

He was caught.

Together they bagged their groceries in silence and stepped out into the sunshine. The late August breeze was a welcome refreshment to his heat-prickled skin.

“Relax, Papa.” Gideon ambled through the parking lot at his side, his long-suffering sigh far beyond his eight years. “I know all about you helping our team sometimes at the games. Everyone does. Even Coach David.”

Henry nodded in agreement.

“What?” It seemed his secret help was no secret after all.

“Whenever we needed to score, somebody would get a super awesome hit,” Gideon said. “Like Roland and me did in our last game.”

“Roland and I,” Belle interjected.

Oh, now she wanted to be part of the conversation. Mrs. Grammar Police!

Speechless, Rumplestiltskin studied the pavement as they began the two-block walk home. It seemed Neal was right after all. He was not as clever as he’d believed.

Gideon slipping his small hand into Rumplestiltskin’s larger one and squeezed his fingers. The childish comfort touch soothed his bruised ego.

“No worries.” Gideon clucked his tongue the way Belle did whenever their son awoke from a bad dream. “When I grow up you won’t have to help me anymore. I’ll be awesome at magic. But not better than you, Papa.”

“No, of course not.” He managed a weak smile. His body had continued moving down the street but he felt like his mind was still back on the sidewalk outside the store, slack-jawed and confused because Gideon wasn’t upset with him.

Although he and Belle had agreed never to discuss his cheating with Gideon, the lie had still bothered him. But he’d convinced himself that should Gideon ever learn the truth, the consequences would be catastrophic. Instead, his beloved boy was brushing off his interference as if it were nothing.

“You won’t need magic for baseball,” Belle said with motherly authority. “You’ll be able to win without any outside assistance.”

“Absolutely!” Henry looped his arm around Gideon’s neck and gave him a noogie until the younger boy howled with laughter and twisted out of reach. “Magic is a tool, not a crutch, right Grandpa?”

A lump formed in Rumplestiltskin’s throat. There was far too much compassion in his grandson’s knowing look, but even as a precocious ten-year-old, Henry’s wisdom and empathy had always been extraordinary. Rumple supposed being the son of two magical mothers made him uniquely qualified to mentor his much younger uncle Gideon.

“That’s right.” Rumplestiltskin cleared his throat, eager to move on to a lighter topic. His lips quirked and he looked at his wife. “Unless we’re cooking with your grandmother. Then we need to call on every spell in the book.”

“Henry agreed to call me Belle years ago,” she said with emphasis. Her eyes were alight with indignation but her lips were pursed with repressed humor. “As for you, there will be no blueberry cobbler!”

Rumplestiltskin gave a mock gasp and as their laughing and teasing continued, tension fell from his shoulders like scales. Arm-in-arm with his wife, he shook off the unwelcome weight and strolled past the baseball field feeling lighter than air.

Up ahead at the intersection, David’s truck trundled by, but the jealousy that had boiled up so quickly in the grocery store had evaporated, at least for the moment. Some insecurities would never die, but as he carried their groceries down the sun-soaked street and basked in the love, compassion, and laughter of his family, Rumplestiltskin was nothing but content.

###

#rumbelle fic #rumbelle #a monthly rumbelling #rumplestiltskin x belle #rumbelle fluff #gold family fic #baseball fic #gideon gold #henry mills #mqc writes #put me in coach

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evstenroos · 3 years

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IT'S TIME TO UPDATE YOUR APPRAISALS

From the archive: February 27th, 2020

THE RISING COST OF PALLADIUM

Palladium, a shiny white metal in the same group as platinum, is now the most valuable precious metals, with a recent shortage driving prices to an all-time record breaking high.

The cost of palladium has jumped by more than 25% in the last two weeks alone, and almost doubled in value over the last year, making it more expensive than gold...

MEET THE TEAM: WARREN SMITH, MASTER ENGRAVER AT THE COAST HANDWORKS CO.

Born and raised in North Vancouver, BC, Warren Smith is a journeyman machinist turned goldsmith, master hand engraver revered for his meticulous attention to detail and outstanding artistic designs.

"Growing up, I lived across the street from Robert Davidson and Bill Reid, two famous west coast artists. I was influenced early on by the artwork in their houses. It led to me being interested in and studying art as a teenager, primarily north west coast work.”

Warren went on to become a full journeyman machinist, melding his love of art and metal together while continuing to practice engraving on his own. When he was offered a job as head engraver at a company in Vancouver, after walking in to ask a few questions about tool design, Warren saw it as an opportunity to gain more technical knowledge and accepted.

“I would start my days at 5:30 in the morning and finish around 10 at night, in order to learn while working.”

It was during his time in Vancouver that Smith met Ellinor, who was also working with a different jewelry company.

“Her and I would meet through the phone to work on various projects. When she went out on her own, she called me to work on some of her pieces and I said yes. Ellinor is a dynamo and I can’t say enough good things about her. She is inspiring, her enthusiasm is incredible, and she is one of the hardest working people I know in this business. She places a lot of trust in me and allows me a lot of creative freedom on our collaborations, and I think that’s how you get the best pieces.”

After 12 years in Vancouver, Smith decided to branch out on his own and now works from his ranch/studio in the Okanagan Valley. He has engraved thousands of unique pieces for jewellers, gunsmiths, private collectors, and many celebrities, including David Bowie, John Travolta, and Sylvester Stallone. In 2012, Smith began offering his engraving services directly to the public.

“When I stopped working under the umbrella of a company, I was no longer conveniently located and it was only my reputation on the line. The fear that people wouldn’t like my work and that they wouldn’t come, meant the quality of my work had to increase immensely.”

Warren has studied and mastered several distinct art forms and engraving styles. To this day he is a devout scholar of Heraldry, Calligraphy, European and American Scroll Work, and the Native formline art style of the Pacific Northwest. A selection of Warren’s original works can be purchased online at The Coast Handworks Shop along with an assortment of blank signet rings and bands tailor-made for custom engraving based on customer input.

Learn More About Warren’s Work

KIRSTEY JANE, PHOTOGRAPHER & FOUNDER OF SUPER CORPORATE PEOPLE

Kirstey Jane has always loved taking pictures. Before moving to Calgary and opening her own photography studio, Kirstey split her time between working in London’s restaurant and nightlife industry and taking photos.

“I had a career in training and development but there were just so many actors, dancers, and performers who needed photos for their portfolios. I would photograph them and weddings and corporate events on the weekends and in the evenings.”

In 2001, Kirstey left behind London’s hub of fashion and media agencies to come to Calgary and start a family. But, when she arrived, she realized the photography industry in Alberta was going to be very different. “London was very exciting and fashion-focused. There was a lot of attention to detail, the city was busy and thriving. But here, people wanted pictures of their dogs,” she laughs. “And no one had a website for their work. It was all through the yellow pages.”

Although Calgary lacked a strong online photography community, it didn’t take long for Kirstey to find a niche for herself.

“The corporate, business-side of things in Calgary was very male dominated and it was a blur of golf shirts, chinos, and coffee mugs. I wanted to put a spin on it and help people ramp up their business image. I was able to find clients and build up my portfolio mostly by word of mouth. People would see my pictures on someone’s desk or business card and I would be referred to them.”

But as digital cameras became more and more accessible, Kirstey had to continue distinguishing her business from emerging photographers.

“It’s not all about how great the pictures are. In my opinion, it’s 20 percent technical skill and 80% people skills. You have to know how to talk to people, how to resolve problems, and how to navigate a business.”

When Kirstey met Ellinor, through a mutual friend over ten years ago, the two instantly clicked and began working together. You may recognize Kirstey’s work from EVStenroos editorial campaigns and more recently, our 10th anniversary party.

“You don’t find work like Ellinor’s often, especially in Calgary," Kirstey says. "I can’t remember the first shoot we did together, whether it was business or social, but we really connected. She has a keen eye to detail and is very visual. She liked my photos, and I didn’t have to explain much to her. We do the same work, just in different trades.”

Learn More About Kirstey’s Work

#archive

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bbcbreakingnews · 4 years

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Jarryd Hayne marries Amellia Bonnici in a secret ceremony on Central Coast

Rugby league star Jarryd Hayne has married his long-term partner Amellia Bonnici in a secret ceremony, just a month after announcing their engagement.

Hayne, 32, and Bonnici, 29, the mother of his daughter Beliviah Ivy, 4, tied the knot at Pullman Magenta Shores resort, on the New South Wales Central Coast, on Tuesday.

In the scorching heat on Australia Day the couple’s service was intimate and low key, with a group of roughly 50 family and friends, including fellow NRL stars, attending.

Hayne wore a creme suit, open white shirt and sunglasses, smiling as he stood under a floral archway waiting for his bride.

Bonnici looked elegant in a white dress and with her hair pulled back to show off her pearl earrings.

Rugby league star Jarryd Hayne has married his long-term partner Amellia Bonnici in a secret ceremony at the Pullman Magenta Shores resort in NSW, just a month after getting engaged

After being together for tumultuous five years, Hayne and Bonnici tied the knot in secret

Hayne checks his phone as he and Bonnici sit on the back of a golf cart on their way to have photos taken

The deeply religious Hayne – who is a former Hillsong regular – chose not to have the ceremony in a church, instead saying their vows beneath a white floral archway in the resort garden

Hayne wore a creme suit and open white shirt, smiling as he stood beneath the flower archway waiting for his bride

Bonnici (pictured) looked elegant in a white dress and with her hair pulled back to show off her pearl earrings

The glamorous 29-year-old lifts her dress up as she walks towards the ceremony at the Central Coast resort

Hayne’s father Manoa Thompson (second from left) watches on as his son stands waiting for his bride

The deeply religious Hayne – who is a former Hillsong regular – chose not to have the ceremony in a church, instead saying their vows beneath a white floral archway.

Those in attendance sat on rows of white wooden chairs spread throughout a grass area in between the resort’s villas.

While the ceremony was shielded from public view, there was no relief from the sun, with temperatures soaring into the mid-30s by mid-afternoon.

Hayne’s mother Jodie, his father Manoa Thompson – himself a former NRL star – and his half-sister Evie Thompson all attended.

Also among the crowd was Hayne’s former Parramatta teammate Tim Mannah.

It is understood only a select number of guests were told about the location prior to the Australia Day wedding.

The remainder of those invited were told to meet at a certain location, where a bus collected and took them to the Pullman resort.

The couple’s decision to tie the knot comes after a relationship full of up and downs.

Hayne and Bonnici only announced their engagement on Australia Day, sharing this photo on Instagram

Hayne opted for all white for his special day, wearing chinos and a white suit jacket, with a shirt and white rose

The newlyweds walked away from the ceremony to enjoy a drink, with Bonnici’s bridesmaid helping to lift up the train of her wedding dress

Hayne’s half-sister Evie Thompson (in orange) joined the newlyweds as they headed off to have photos taken

Guests at the ceremony joined in the relaxed theme of the wedding with their bright coloured dresses

It is understood only a select number of guests were told about the location prior to Tuesday, with the rest being taken by bus to the resort

A large stand of flowers is carried into the ceremony on Tuesday afternoon

Hayne and Bonnici met on Instagram in early 2016 and just a few weeks later she was pregnant.

The footy star had just returned from a highly publicised stint with the San Francisco 49ers in the NFL signed a $1million-a-year deal with the Gold Coast Titans in the NRL.

But while Hayne lived it up in the sunshine, Bonnici stayed at home with her family to look after the couple’s daughter.

Hayne was released by the Gold Coast in late-2017 and returned to Parramatta.

In December that year he was accused of sexual assault in the United States, claims he vehemently denied.

Hayne eventually reached a settlement with his accuser in 2019.

Bonnici has stood by Hayne over a tumultuous few years, including throughout a NSW District Court trial for sexual assault last year (Pictured are the pair walking into Newcastle Court)

Bonnici and Hayne met on Instagram and just a few months later welcomed a daughter, Bri

While Bonnici stood by him the controversies continued to come, and on Grand Final Day in 2018 he allegedly he was accused of sexually assaulting a woman at her home near Newcastle.

He faced a NSW District Court trial in 2020 during which Bonnici stuck by his side on the way into court each day.

The jury were unable to reach after a two-week trial and were discharged. A new trial will be set for 2021.

source https://bbcbreakingnews.com/2021/01/26/jarryd-hayne-marries-amellia-bonnici-in-a-secret-ceremony-on-central-coast/

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jimmydemaret · 4 years

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hunty-booboo · 4 years

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Las Vegas Hidden Secrets for Tourists

Even within the city that in no way sleeps - in which restaurants, bars, nightclubs and grocery stores hardly ever near. In Vegas, even 24 hours is every now and then still not enough time. With a lot to do and till a sunrise to do it, why waste time in Vegas identifying what to do? If you have been to Vegas before and you're interested in attempting some thing new or maybe you're greater interested by sorting out backstage of Sin City, you have come to the right place. Here's some guidelines and tricks EVERY local knows.

CLUB HOP cach danh lo ngay nao cung trung If there's one Vegas membership you can not leave out, it is the XS Nightclub positioned in the Wynn Casino. If you are not from Vegas, you'll locate yourself paying a pretty penny for now not just access to the XS nightclub, but in all likelihood every membership in Vegas. The excellent factor to do is to connect with a nightclub promoter. You can find plenty of promoters soliciting alongside the streets of the Las Vegas Strip. You'll know them with the aid of their three piece fits, handing out cards and wrist bands hollering to the public about their free bottle service and limo rides. If you've got been to Vegas you understand precisely who I'm speakme approximately. Sure, they will seem a touch at the shady side, but as a nearby, I can let you know - those workers are respectable. Club promoters aren't the shady avenue hustlers and swindlers they seem to show. They are truely employed by using the casinos to carry people into their clubs. You see, soliciting on the Strip is illegal in Las Vegas and so, how are those promoters getting away with it? Well, who do you think is jogging the city? The Las Vegsa Strip Casinos! Talk to those promoters, good buy a chunk, hook them up with a pleasant tip and you will receive reductions on pretty much something. Looking for unique VIP carrier, all you have to do is ask.

It's beginning to become common information: the two:1 ratio is rule. If you will the membership with a set of humans, there wishes to be a ratio of at the least 2 guys to one woman if you want to growth your probabilities of having in. Use this records on your benefit. Also, membership promoters can hook you up even better in case your institution can abide by this rule.

WHAT TO DO BESIDES CLUB?

You're not confined to simply night golf equipment even as in Vegas. The sports available to you within the town of lighting fixtures are countless. Why no longer check out a Vegas Strip pool party like the Encore Beach Club. Domestic to DeadMau5, AVICII and other first rate electronic track DJs. Again, membership promoters are the people you need to speak to for discounted access and bottle service.

Or, why no longer take a two hour helicopter journey to the Grand Canyon and walk alongside the Grand Canyon SkyWalk? Experience the phantasm of floating over the canyon as you tip toe onto a obvious floor suspended 500 ft above the base of the Canyon. If you do not experience like flying all of the way to Arizona, you may always hover over the Las Vegas Strip in a chopper whilst toasting bottles of champagne. And, you could locate all of this, at the Las Vegas Boulevard.

If you want to "aid the financial system" or buy groceries but, you are on a budget, hit up the nearby's favored - The Premium Outlets placed in downtown Las Vegas. They're known for the excellent selection of stores and ridiculously low expenses on items you won't discover anywhere else. I as soon as purchased 2 pairs of footwear, 3 pairs of jeans and a pair of shirts occupied with underneath $a hundred - all name logo stuff too! Plus, the Premium Outlets mall is positioned at once on the brink of traditional Downtown Vegas where the cocktailes are reasonably-priced and the table games brag $5 minimal plays.

The strip golf equipment in Las Vegas are said through many to be the nice inside the international. Looking for the maximum suitable girls, then Spearmint Rhino is wherein you need to be. Right across the street is the Deja Vu membership, an 18 and over all-nude strip membership, the simplest one in Vegas. All your free access and loose drink reductions on the Strip Club could be provided by means of your street corner membership promoters. Oh yea, suppose of those membership promoters as the gate manner to reductions and the undergound. Whatever it's far you are looking for, probabilities are, they recognize.

GETTING THE MUNCHIES?

Las Vegas is thought for a number of the nice meals within the world and recollect, the Casino cafes are open 24 hours a day. Buffets just like the unknown Rio Seafood Buffet are, guaranteed, high-quality. Here's a brief tip: sign up for a gamers card every time you go to a new on line casino. Sometimes, simply by means of signing up, you may get a loose buffet dinner, like at the Silverton Casino. Also, with these player's cards, you could rack up points which could later be used totally free gaming, loose meals and other perks. You're going to should spend a couple of dollars playing to earn factors, but in case you're going to gamble anyhow, why not stack up factors to your card and win some thing each time?

A region you furthermore mght want to test out is the name of the game pizza spot within the Cosmopolitan. It's at the 1/3 ground subsequent to the pool tables via a hallway you will in no way guess brought about probable the excellent pizza in Vegas. Find a hallway with a checkered ground that looks as if it is only for personnel.

A Vegas winter can be mighty bloodless and once in a while a bowl of true Japanese noodle soup will keep you stage. Try the Monta Noodle joint on Spring Mountain and Decatur. If you need mother and dad, this is it. Delicious red meat, duck, or chook noodle soup served hot and fresh.

DOWNTOWN VEGAS LIVES

The Fremont Experience has come to be the icon for Downtown Las Vegas. Here, you may test out unfastened live tune suggests, grasp your self a delectable cocktail, a fried twinkie, you may strive your success on a $3 BlackJack table and if you obtain not anything to lose, zipline throughout Fremont Street. What many human beings don't know is that Downtown Las Vegas obtained a large $17 million facelift intended to restore Classic Downtown Vegas. So, you will be pleasantly amazed via the points of interest, made over antique timer casinos, like Golden Nugget's water slide through a shark tank, and truly the low low expenses.

If you're attempting to find something to do in the afternoon, take a gander on the Arts District also located Downtown. Here, you'll discover beautiful avenue graffiti painted on historic buildings and artwork interwoven into the town's structure.

On First Friday, the Arts District becomes a sidewalk facet show packed with road performers and artists growing stay art work on the market. Bargain for an original piece made by means of one in every of Vegas's very own. You may also want to test out the Cornerstone Art Gallery a low forehead avenue artwork current gallery of exquisite pieces.

At night, The Griffin Club, The Beauty Bar and the latest installment to what's going on in Downtown Vegas, Insert Coins, cram hundreds of devoted birthday party human beings and drown them in alcohol while damn the pix off the wall with the track of stay local DJs.

CASINO HOP

Hopping from Casino to Casino is the game we like to play. But, in case you do, obviously, you need to make sure you're carrying lots of coins. And, if playing is your component, be sure to recognize that the chances on the Strip are constantly going to be in favor of the residence. Of course, each casino has the percentages in their favor, however in keeping with local Las Vegas gamblers, you may have higher luck attempting your good fortune in the off-the-Strip Casinos together with The Orleans, The Gold Coast and any of the casinos in the downtown area. True, those off-web site casinos won't be as glamorous, but if you're right here to win, they are the location to be.

Las Vegas is and always may be the amusement capital of the arena. If you really want it, you will discover it in Vegas. Just make certain to take care of the enterprise employees, the hosts, waitresses, card sellers and so forth. Due to the fact the way to benefit VIP status right here in Vegas isn't always constantly through your pockets. If you show Vegas and it is human beings love, you will benefit special get right of entry to to the metropolis's riches - loose tables at golf equipment, unfastened liquids, loose limo rides, free food, and loose entry to almost anywhere you could imagine. Sometimes, you can even frolic in the perks of the VIP that even most Vegas locals can not get entry to. Just play your playing cards proper. Make certain human beings in Vegas recall you so you can for all time be taken care of.

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bangkokjacknews · 5 years

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Thai tourism industry and how the Thais are ruining it

The Thai tourism industry has been suffering over recent years, despite the claims of the Tourist Authority of Thailand.

And this is largely the fault of the Thai people themselves and their behavior towards their fee paying guests. Recently a tourist who turned off a moped because he said it was too loud was left dripping in blood when the furious rider punched him in the back of the head, during a holiday in Thailand. This is typical behaviour for the average Thai man who specialise in the cowardly strike from behind on old men, or women, who have had one too many and are ill-prepared for such an assault. Often with a crash helmet or wooden club. You never see Thai men being 'offended' by young, fit and sober chaps. You won't find them attacking anybody who can defend themselves, even from behind and with a helmet. Instead, they run away. Last year Chiang Mai started a campaign to try and lure back Chinese tourists, whose visits have fallen significantly lately. The drop in visitor numbers is thought to be related to the Thais’ constant criticism of the Chinese on social media, causing the them to boycott Thailand. Why have Westerners stopped going? And this is something like the reason the Americans stopped going there in numbers a few years ago. And the British, Australians & Europeans. The attitude of the Thai authorities and, in some cases the population, towards their guests is driving people away. The fifteen-year prosperity, thanks to the wealth Westerners brought in by the billion that looked, only a few years ago, as if it would never end, may well be ending. Take a look at tourism over the last forty-years and a pattern emerges. In the 1970's the early package tours took wealth and prosperity to Spain's, previously undeveloped, Costa del Sol region. The Coast of the Sun was cheap, easy to reach, beautiful, unspoiled and safe. The Spanish welcomed new customers to their bars, taverns, hotels & beaches by the million. And, of course, the crooks moved in too. The pickpockets, the muggers, the taxi driver scams, the water-ski scammers (you damaged my ski, that's $50, gracias). Waiters watered down wine, shops short-changed. Every non Spaniard was an opportunity and the Spanish police were bought and paid for. In on it - up to the nail-bag. So were the authorities. Ugly hotels went up, the beautiful shoreline was ruined, the seawater polluted, condos were bought and never built. Now-famous time share scams were established. . Golf club memberships were sold, to courses that would never be played. Nightmares were had and tears flowed. Greed flourished and wealth changed hands. https://bangkokjack.com/2019/06/19/epidemic-tourist-death-in-thailand/ The Crooks Then the foreign crooks all moved in and gun-fights were common. Taxi drivers cheated, robbed and raped. And the tourists were all chased out of town. People just stopped going there. First the Americans left. Then the British and other Europeans. The Japanese, so affluent during the 1970's & 80's, stopped going. The Russians had a brief look around, after their borders opened in the 1990's, but it was too late for Spain by then. There was no way to change the attitudes of the people by that time. A whole generation had grown up thinking tourists in numbers had always been there, and always would be. But the Russians also found somewhere else to go before long. Spain then spent the next twenty-years with its collective arms out saying, 'where you go, please come back handsome man.' But no-one goes back there now. Not in any numbers anyway. Spain is broke. The money is gone. Buildings lay derelict and a decent condo can now be picked up from a bank for the price of a medium sized car. And it serves them right. Spain was onto a good thing in the 1980's. And they thought it would last forever. But people who are abused, everywhere they go in a country, just stop going there. The tourist dollar went to Greece instead during the 1990's and exactly the same thing happen there too. Now their elderly scavenge for food in street bins and you can buy a decent apartment in Athens for pocket change. But, who would? The gravy train pulled into Turkey next, for a brief while, until the same thing happened there and tourists were chased away by robbing, thieving locals who thought they knew a good thing when it walked past them at night. Who, in their right minds, would go on holiday to Turkey now? Fifteen years ago (or something) the same gravy train left western stations and pulled into Thailand. Is any of this sounding familiar yet? https://bangkokjack.com/2019/08/25/beer-t-shirts-illegal-thailand/ So what is going on? It doesn't take long for the so-called quality tourist to be driven out of town. Parts of Thailand today mirror the Costa Del Sol during the 1980's. And I don't just mean the once beautiful coastline through Naklua and Wongamat that is now so badly scarred by high-rise chicken boxes. And nor do I just mean the polluted seawater, thanks to cheap drainage. It is every baht bus driver who pulled away without giving change. It is every chicken vendor who charged the white face more than they saw the person before them pay. And all the gold stealing ladyboys in the dead of night and every traffic ticket that is issued unfairly. Your Man in the Orient - Albert Jack It is every motorbike taxi driver who beat up and robbed a drunk tourist instead of helping him home and every bar worker who added tabs to a bin. And the tour guides who refused to help a stranded tourist because 'he didn’t pay for a tour guide. Next time he come he pay for tour guide. He learn his lesson and more money for us. Why should we help him now?’ I will tell you why, my lovely. Because he isn't coming back. There is no next time. The next time his (or anybody he knows) cruise ship docks in Laem Chabang Port him and his wife will stay on board, in the casino, and not come to Pattaya or Bangkok. The next stop for them is Saigon. Because you think he 'learn his lesson' sitting, sweating like a farmer, outside Mike's Mall having missed his bus. And you won't take him back to the ship on your half-empty, air-conditioned, tour bus because 'he no pay for guide.' He learned his lesson alright. 'He no come back' - ever. That is why you should have given him a lift, and been nice. And multiply that example by tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Maybe millions of times over the few short years the gravy train has been coming to Thailand. It is every single thing, big or small. Because every time anything like this happens someone goes home and tells all of their friends, on Facebook, ‘don’t go there, go somewhere else instead.’ Most Thais are lovely people Now, obviously I don't mean everybody in Thailand are mistreating their guests. I don't even imply it is anybody outside the tourist centres. It is not that many inside towns like Pattaya & Phuket either. But it is enough. The small minority that are causing people to go home with a bad experience. Just as it was in Spain, Greece and Turkey.. And the Thai police do nothing about these people. Instead the tourist is usually blamed in some way. In Thailand the paying customer is always wrong. And imagine those bad experiences being shared many hundreds of thousands of times by modern social media users in all corners of the world over the last five years. As it is in China, right now. https://bangkokjack.com/2018/11/05/thai-politics-red-shirts-yellow-shirts/ They just don't understand it do they The people seem unaware of any of this. Chiang Mai deputy governor Mongkol Suksai tried to calm feelings down in the province when he said 'it is just a significant difference between cultures which, on many occasions, we Thais are not accustomed to. That is why it is vital that we make them understand how Thai people are. It is our job to show them what is acceptable, and more importantly, what is inappropriate in Thai culture.’ I am afraid not, Mr Governor. You couldn't be more wrong than that. It is an Olympic gold medal effort in being wrong. Who the hell made you deputy governor? The Chinese, Indian and Arab tourists are the level you are at right now, in terms of visitor. They are the customer. They bring the money. This is what you are left to work with. Europe, America, Australia and Russia have all been chased out of town, to Vietnam perhaps. Hurried over the border. This is what Thailand have right now. It is you who must adapt your service to suit the Chinese. If you want them to keep coming. Because if you don't then your tour guides, who have all been learning Manderin over the last twelve months, had better start learning Arabic, Hindi and Urdu instead. And it will serve them right too. Because that is what is coming next. Just ask the Spanish, the Greeks or the Turks. (First published as 'Are Days Numbered for the Thai tourist industry - August 2016) Report by Albert Jack https://bangkokjack.com/2019/08/28/top-scams-in-thailand/ – – You can follow BangkokJack on Facebook, Minds & Twitter. Or join the free mailing list (top right) Please help us continue to bring the REAL NEWS - PayPal Read the full article

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myanmarvisa · 5 years

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Top tourist destinations in Myanmar Myanmar, the official name of the government in West Asia known as Burma, is a must-see for travelers like Buddha and the beach, although not naturally in that order. This country is home to thousands of Buddhist temples. There are also white sand beaches in the Bay of Bengal and the Andaman Sea. The country is slowly becoming a tourist destination, so travelers who want to experience a familiar destination in Burma may want to visit right now. Overview of top travel destinations in Myanmar:

1. Bagan

Tourists passionate about Buddhist temples, pagodas and pagodas recommend these days in Bagan because they contain more than anywhere else. The most popular letter in Myanmar is the capital of the First Burmese Empire from the 9th to the 13th centuries. The place Marco Polo previously described as a "golden city" had 13,000 Buddhist temples during the eleventh century. There are still thousands of temples, stupas and stupas, including the Ananda Temple, famous for its brilliant golden towers.

2. Golden Rock

Rock Island, or the city's famous Chaitya Yozedi, is amazing. The pagoda (Jedi) sitting on the cliff appears to be falling from the edge of the mountain. They are covered with golf leaves. Locals believe that the reef is 1,100 ft (3,600 ft) above sea level and is well protected by Buddhist miracles.

The tower is said to have hair. A visit to this place is a Buddhist tour of Myanmar. Golden Rock is about 5 hours from Yangon and requires a visit. The staircase leads you to the pagoda complex which has many scenic spots and Buddhist temples.

3. Shwedagon Pagoda

Shvedagan or the Great Dragon Tower is considered the most sacred place in Myanmar Buddhism because of Buddha's hair and other religious artifacts. Pagoda is located in Sing Tara Hills, Yangon, the largest city in Myanmar 2,500 years ago. Over the centuries, the tower rose to 8 to 99 meters (26 to 366 feet).

Although the origin of Schwedagon has long been lost, it is speculated that the pagoda was first built in the Bagan period from the 6th to the 10th century. Covered with gold leaf The pagoda is covered with 4,531 diamonds. This unforgettable place has many temples, statues and stupas. Those who come to the tower are expected to enter the temple barefoot, following the dress code (pants are preferred, elbow-length T-shirts).

4.Town carat

Built with a refined volcanic plug, the Tangkarat Buddhist monastery is one of the most fascinating places in Burma. To reach the monastery, visitors must climb the 777 steps to the top. Many monkey readers are looking forward to being treated along the way. From the top of Town Carat, you can enjoy a panoramic view. You can see the ancient town of Bagan and the many isolated peaks of Mount Popa cone, the volcano that actually made the plug volcano.

5. Inle Lake

Inle Lake is one of the most attractive visitor destinations in Myanmar. In addition to the scenic nature of the lake, the lake attracts tourists from the old-known Old Man house in Hmong. A typical day trip on a lake with a long, narrow motor boat is located at the northern end of Lake Inle Lake.

These trips are available in small village seminars, various pagodas, and perhaps in the market. Tourists like to see fishermen using their unique craft techniques, and other lake residents like to eat fruits and vegetables in a floating garden.

6. Mrauk U

Mrauk U is an important archaeological city. Because of the thick walls, it was designed to protect the temple from the wind. Stone temples are found along the coast. The medieval city was once the largest capital city and commercial city of Aracan. To reach this remote location, you will be able to sail on the Karai River for 4-7 hours. The traveler may be able to bring rain gear to this area, but it is averaged 1.2 meters (4 feet) per year.

7. Ngapali

Nagapali brings the two worlds of Southeast Asia together. The capital of Myanmar, the blue waters of the Bay of Bengal, and the luxurious hotels are dotted with white sandy beaches.

Great place to relax and unwind. Unlike the fishing village environment, local restaurants provide daylight and also feature taxis. Locals believe the city is named after Naples, Italy (Naples). Most people visit Nagapali from November to March. The rest of the year is a small beach town.

8. Shwenandaw Monastery

Shwenandaw Monastery is a historic Buddhist monastery in Mandalay. This important building is known as the Golden Palace and is located in central Myanmar. His son was originally part of the Mandalay Palace and was the royal family of the king. After his death, the son moved out of the palace because he thought he had the spirit of the king.

Later it became a monastery. The building was once covered in gold, but now most of the gold is inside. The exterior is covered with gorgeous teak sculptures representing Buddhist mythology. Gorgeous sculptures made of other materials, such as stones, can be found throughout the building.

9. Ayeyarwady River Cruise

Myanmar's long river Ayeyarwady, also called Irrawaddy, started from the upper Himalayas and began cutting off Myanmar on the way to the Anand Sea. It can be navigated by large ships and ships at low altitudes and is rapidly becoming popular for river cruise destinations.

The cruise runs between Mandalay and Bagan. Both cities have many temples, pagans, and statues. Between the two terminals you can visit the river village, cruise without observing the dolphin tubes and go through ġunglijiet and deep diapers.

10. Shwemawdaw Paya

It is said that Shwemawdaw Paya has its name, the great golden god, because it can see a bright golden cover about a mile away. The diamond's diamond surface also produces some sparks. It is 114 meters (375 feet) high and is the tallest temple in Myanmar. This is especially important for Buddhism because it contains many works by Buddha. Located in Baguio, this 1000-year-old complex is decorated with small pagodas, covered with gold, statues and grandstands.

#myanmarvisauscitizen #myanmarvisaapplicationform #myanmarevisaprocessingtime #myanmarvisarequirements

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idontevenwannaknow · 6 years

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misssportsmadam · 7 years

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Tagged by the beautiful giraffe! @nice-garry thank you!

Are you named after someone? Nope.  When was the last time you cried? Cried of laughter today.  Do you like your handwriting? Yes!  What is your favourite lunch meat? Chicken. Lucky I work at Red Rooster!  Do you have kids? Nope  If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah I would be.  Do you use sarcasm? All the time!  Do you still have your tonsils? Nope. Taken out of me in 2003.  Would you bungee jump? Scared of heights. So noooooo!  Favourite cereal? Weetbix.  Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Always.  Do you think you’re a strong person? Yes I do.  What is your favourite ice cream? Anything chocolate or mango  What is the first thing you notice about people? What their eyes look like.  What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? Nothing. I love myself wholeheartedly. :)  What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? Dark denim and brown Blundstone boots.  What are you listening to right now? The sporting probe with Roy and HG. (The besttt!)  If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Ummm. Haha the purple one?  Favourite smell? Freshly cut grass, cattle trucks, wool and dogs.  Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother last night.  Favourite sport to watch? All sports except golf. (If I HAD to choose, NRL, cricket, swimming and netball)  Hair colour: Chocolate brown  Eye colour: Hazel (changes every day.)  Do you wear contacts? No  Favourite food to eat? Roast lamb  Scary movies or comedy? Comedy  Last movie you watched? Miss Congeniality  What colour shirt are you wearing? Navy blue  Summer or winter? All the seasons  Hugs or kisses? Hugssss  What book are you currently reading? Murder on the Ballarat train and Banjo Patterson poems  What do you miss right now? Someone I hardly know 🙊  What is on your mouse pad? It is a physical Brumbies jersey  What is the last tv program you watched? Anh’s brush with fame. (Check it out.)  What is the best sound? The sounds of home.  Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Both equally!  What is the furthest you have ever travelled? Gold Coast 🙈  Do you have a special talent? (SFW) I can physically show you my heartbeat on my wrist. (NSFW) I can lick my own nipple.  Where were you born? Hospital

I tag @all-rounder-insane @brandnsaad @glenn-maxwell and anyone else who wants to do it!

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worstshowever · 8 years

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Alante & Nevaeh

“Alante & Nevaeh”

Season 6 Episode 2

Original Airdate: March 8, 2017

More Appropriately Titled: Kissin’ Cousins

This season has been full of mooks so far. Here are two more.

Alante emails “A small town guy with a big time love.” Nev immediately finds a way to make this all about him. He shares his dream car is a Cadillac Alante. Wow, big surprise. I learned something about Nev I neither asked for nor wanted to know. Alante is from Saginaw, Michigan. The crowd goes wild because 90% of America’s catfish are in Michigan. For eight (!) years, Alante has been in purgatorial relationship with Nevaeh. Ross and Rachel suggest she could be the female Nev. Please, for the love of God, I do not have the mental strength to handle two Nevs.

Alante has gone to meet her multiple times. However, something always popped up that prevented them from meeting, which is completely shocking and unheard of. He says she disappears for weeks at a time. I also do that, but that’s because I’m rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.

They get Alante on the horn. He met Nevaeh online when he was a senior in high school. They spoke for years, but it only got serious when they swapped heart and kissy face emojis.

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert*

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons:

1) Millennials are stupid. 2017 is stupid. The future is stupid.

2) The art of communication is dead. Aristotle would be horrified.

3) My mom literally just told me she needs attention.

Alante and Nevaeh have Skyped, but she’s always been in a pitch-black room. Nev musters up the strength to talk about someone other than himself. He asks Alante if he sees how suspicious all these moving pieces are. Alante says, “I try not to think of it like that.” I don’t think he’s thought much about the mechanics of this relationship.

Nev starts rambling some garbage about how this will be the one! She will be who she says she is! It’s mad trash. This is why you should sign my WhiteHouse.gov petition to have me replace Nev. Max completely ignores Nev’s barf-worthy sentiment because he, like myself, has common sense.

They're off to see the wizard.

They arrive in Saginaw. Surprisingly, Nev rings the doorbell instead of letting himself in uninvited. After chatting for a few minutes, Max does something very Nev-like and asks if Nevaeh’s tiny girl brain is capable of keeping up with Alante’s highly intellectual wit. Trust me, he’s no rocket scientist.

Alante tells Phoebe and Joey that he and Nevaeh spoke all day long until Jimmy Hoffa here suddenly disappeared for months at a time. She would reappear and pick up the conversation as if nothing had happened. Way to keep the upper hand, girl.

Alante has seen eight photos of Nevaeh in the last eight years. The stress of not knowing her is causing him hair loss. He was recently hospitalized due to the stress she brings him. I dead-ass don't even have a joke for this. Some people deserve to get catfished. We’ve seen plenty of bozos over the years deserve it. Nev definitely deserved it. Now this guy (eight years!).

Nev drives recklessly through a parking lot and then they arrive at their off-brand Starbucks. Alante sends Monica and Chandler all the dirty deets and we learn Nevaeh has two phone numbers.

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert*

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons:

1) He should know better. Midwesterners are smarter than folks from the rest of the country. Think about the mental fortitude it takes to endure a -30 degree winter. It takes some brains to do that and not die. As a midwesterner from the greatest state in the union (Illinnoying), I am ashamed.

2) I have nothing for this point. I did, but it’s in an argument with someone about how it’s pop, not soda. Politely, of course.

The google image search yields results. Nevaeh is really Audrey. She has 13,000 Instagram followers. As they look through her Facebook, a producer tells them how to insert their usernames into the URL to look at their friendship and see what they've posted to each other. They marvel as if this is a great hack. However, Facebook has a button called, “See Friendship.” This is a prime example of why no one, especially the kale eating, trendy exercise-doing west coast, can measure up to the great midwest. If you want kale in the midwest, you gotta farm it. But I digress.

Alante and Nevaeh have 46 mutual friends, which is a lot for a fake profile. All their mutuals are in Saginaw. They send out the Catfish miranda rights to all 46 friends.

They google the phone number, excuse me, ONE of the phone numbers and learn it belongs to a Latoya in Saginaw. They do their super cool cutting edge new hack and find she and Alante have 23 mutual friends. I don't think this means anything at all and has contributed nothing to this search but what do I know. I only went to one of Newsweek’s top high schools and one of Forbes’ top 50 colleges. Both in the midwest.

One of their 46 new best friends messages them back, so they decide to come on too strong and give him a call. Royon tells Rachel and Monica he was recently flirting with Nevaeh on Facebook.

Max then says something so white, it’s wearing a polo shirt on a golf course; “She’s hollering at guys in Saginaw.”

The next morning, Nev tells Max he continued on with Nev’s Catfish, written, directed, produced, and hosted by Nev and nobody else. He spoke to two more fellas from Saginaw. They both said Nevaeh flirted with them on Facebook. I do not know if the intended purpose of sharing this information was to show the wide net cast by this catfish or to needlessly slut-shame her, but either way, they achieved their goal.

They head over to Alante’s house. He’s hosting a barbecue. The guests of honor lucky enough to meet handsome, rational Max are Alante’s brother, Joe, and his godsister, Ericka. Ericka’s chest and shoulders are all tatted up and I think women who tattoo their chest are mad brave. She says she hopes Alante gets the closure he needs because eight years is quite a long time to string someone along. She is also positive Nevaeh is a girl. I love this juicy lil diddy, so keep it in mind as we continue on this adventure.

Joe and I have almost the same pair of glasses, so I’m going to trust whatever he says. As he puts nearly a whole hot dog in his mouth, he tells Nev he hopes Nevaeh can cook. Maybe I won’t trust what he says because that’s really not our top concern right now.

Ross and Chandler sit down to show Alante the deer they shot on their hunting trip. As they open Audrey’s (the real girl’s) blog, the recoil hits Alante right in the eye. Nev shows Alante his and Nevaeh’s mutual friends. He asks if he recognizes anyone. Wow, c’est incroyable, Alante recognizes his Facebook friends. Nev then takes a tone as if Alante was the one who asked such a stupid question. To kick him while he’s down, Nev tells Alante Nevaeh is flirting with other fellas on Facebook.

They show him Latoya’s Facebook. He does not recognize her. MTV plays an angsty song about pain and love lost.

Nev shoots the ole gal a very demanding text. Right as Alante falls apart emotionally, Joey and Monica decide to leave. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Cool glasses, huh? However, mine are gold all the way around.

In the car, Nev gets a call from Seiairah, Nevaeh’s friend. She asks to meet them. The goons are concerned this is a trap. A trap for what. You’re two grown men with an MTV camera crew. What’s gonna happen to you.

They meet Seiairah at what I can only assume is an abandoned gas station where teenagers smoke beer at night. Seiairah is good friends with both Nevaeh and Alante. She says there’s more to Nevaeh than they know and she wants her to come clean. She offers to call Nevaeh since Ross and Phoebe have been unable to get in touch with her. Sieairah does the job MTV is paying them a million dollars to do. Nevaeh will meet them at a park in an hour.

They meet up with Alante and, shockingly, Nev breaks character and doesn’t storm into his house uninvited. Alante confirms he knows Sieairah and she has a big crush on him. Sieairah looked like she was 16, so naturally, Nev says something gross and disgusting. “A little young. She’s cute. Not sure what your hangup is on that.”

*Looks into the camera like Jim Halpert*

I look into the camera like Jim Halpert for the following reasons:

1) I am disgusted.

2) I am appalled.

3) I am legend.

Max does not touch this with a ten foot pole because he’s not a human dumpster fire.

The squad arrives at the park. Nev’s gross comment is followed by something equally cringeworthy. Nevaeh is Ericka, Alante’s godsister. I don’t totally know what a godsister is, I barely know what god is, but if you were raised together and/or have “sister” in your title, should you really be in a romantic relationship.

Ericka says this was a lesson Alante needed to learn. Eight years ago, Serairah had a crush on Alante. To prove he was a dirty dog, Ericka made the Facebook page to show her he talks to other girls. She says she continued the page for so long at Sieairah’s direction and chose her side over Alante’s as some sort of womanly solidarity. Nev calls her on her bullshit.

Nev takes Alante on a man walk to discuss man topics as men. Alante maintains he never had any feelings for Sieairah and never led her to believe he did. Handsome, thoughtful Max stays with Ericka. She tells him she never came clean because she wanted to let him down gently. What’s more gentle than a national television audience and the court of public opinion!

The next morning, Nev performs a classic Nev action and barges into the house without knocking as if he is claiming it under Taliban law. He calls Ericka to come over and “talk calmly.” Nev finds all women to be hysterical and incapable of controlling their emotions.

Ericka has arrived and she knocked like a normal person who wasn’t raised in a barn on the Upper West Side. She says, “If you hurt me, I’m going to get you.” Yes! We’re finally getting somewhere. I wanna know the petty reason someone stuck with catfishing for eight years.

Back when Bush was still president, Ericka began dating one of Alante’s friends. We learn he was a dog and Alante knew but didn't warn her. They dated on and off for seven years. At that point, it’s Ericka’s fault. Come on. This guy wasn't into Ericka and Alante knew but didn't tell her.

Ericka gets honest and says she loved the attention she got from being Nevaeh. The two establish their friendship is over and Ericka leaves in tears.

Three months later, Ericka and Alante are on the Skype together. His dad passed away and mourning brought the two back together. Ericka is expecting. Nev practices his best gotcha journalism when he asks who’s the father. He looks like a local Toledo reporter who once had New York City dreams. Nev was sure he was going to end the episode with an M. Night Shyamalan twist. Nice try, Nev.

Recommendation: 3/5 Would Recommend. I'm a fan of any episode in which we meet a middle (wo)man before we meet the catfish. Plus, this one had a good creep factor because of the godsibling aspect. However, their relationship was not high-drama enough to justify eight years. That's fucking insane.

Final Thoughts: I apologize for the quantity of rants and advertisements promoting the midwest. However, I do NOT apologize for what I said. Midwest is best. Follow me on Twitter @MaeveMcDonough I was just told by my boss to clean it up, so you know it’s good.

#catfish #catfish the tv show #catfish recap #catfish season 6 #alante and nevaeh #nev and max #max joseph #nev schulman #mtv #comedy #comedy writing #tv recap #reality tv #humor

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ellenesh-blog · 4 years

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You dont get a degree in coaching

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billyagogo · 5 years

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Every Will Smith film performance, ranked

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Every Will Smith film performance, ranked

The Pursuit of Ranking Will Smith’s Performances

Everett Collection (2); Zade Rosenthal/Columbia Pictures

How do you rank the performances of a man who has done it all? Played the devil? Check. Played a rapping fish? Check. Played a superhero? Check. Played a cop/government agent? A lot of checks. But in honor of Will Smith’s 50th birthday, we took on the impossible task of going through all of his film roles (sorry, Fresh Prince) and coming up with the definitive ranking of his cameos, awards nominations, and franchises. Let the pursuit begin.

31. After Earth (2013)

What else could be last? The actor himself has called the out-of-this-world flop the “most painful failure” of his career. In M. Night Shyamalan’s sci-fi film, Smith literally takes a backseat to his son Jaden, considering he’s basically just sitting immobilized throughout. The elder Smith doesn’t have to utlilize his patented charm in every film, but his performance here is next level flat, almost robot-like (He, Robot might be have been a better title).

30. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

On paper, Will Smith playing an ESPN reporter in an Anchorman film sounds like something I dreamed up. In reality, be careful what you wish for. Not that Smith is bad, it’s just a wasted opportunity, just like the entire Anchorman 2 fight scene.

29. Where the Day Takes You (1992)

Despite Smith already being a Grammy-winner and TV star, he’s barely in his film debut, which stars the likes of Dermot Mulroney, Sean Astin, and Ricki Lake. Smith is fine in his very brief screen time as a crippled homeless teen, but if it wasn’t him in the role, you wouldn’t look or think twice about the character.

28. The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)

Smith’s impressive run to end the 20th century comes to a screeching halt in 2000 (don’t blame Willenium) thanks to his first big screen swing and miss. While Smith is the title character in Robert Redford’s golf drama, he plays second fiddle to Matt Damon, not even showing up until 33 minutes in. The film has been criticized for its use of Smith as the “magical negro” and, unfortunately, he isn’t able to help raise the material above the stereotype.

27. Shark Tale (2004)

For his sole foray into animation, Smith voices a scheming, rapping fish named Oscar (too bad the film was only nominated for an Oscar). There’s really not much else to say as it’s exactly what you would think Will Smith voicing a rapping fish would be like.

26. Made in America (1993)

Smith’s second go-around on the big screen finds him playing fifth banana to Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Danson, Ted Danson’s cowboy hat, and Nia Long. And maybe for the only time in his life, Mr. Suave is a nerd, which he really dives into during a very awkward sperm donor scene where he literally does a Scooby Doo, “Huh?” The best thing to come out of this movie is setting up Long’s Fresh Prince run as Will’s girlfriend. (The worst thing: Ted Danson in blackface.)

25. Hancock (2008)

Frank Masi/Columbia Pictures

Easily the biggest disappointment on this list. Even though it was released pre-superhero film boom (two months after Iron Man), it’s unlikely that Hancock would have succeeded at any time, because it just isn’t that good. Don’t get me wrong, the concept is great. Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero is a winning idea. The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired. And for once, the biggest problem might be Smith, who doesn’t get to showcase any of the reasons that we love him, instead being saddled with a bland, blank slate.

24. Suicide Squad (2016)

Smith’s second entry into the world of superheroes was about as successful as the first, as in it made a lot of money and wasn’t well-received by critics. A quick summary of Smith in Suicide Squad: He’s ripped, he continues to have good chemistry with Margot Robbie (their first pairing is still to come), and he’s tasked with delivering the often-mocked line, “So we’re some sort suicide squad?” Other than that, nothing Smith or the movie does has anyone anticipating the previously announced sequel.

23. Men in Black II (2002)

Melinda Sue Gordon/Columbia Pictures

The weakest of the three Men in Black films suffers for many reasons, including becoming too cartoonish (did we really need Nick Cannon, Martha Stewart, and Michael Jackson cameos?) and, more importantly for our purposes, not giving Smith and his character, Agent J, anything interesting to do. A lot of the fun of the first film was Smith as the new guy and his shock and awe to the discovery of alien life, but with that gone, there’s no interesting trait to replace it. We wouldn’t mind if they neuralyzed our memories of MIIB.

22. I, Robot (2004)

After fighting Miami drug dealers, aliens, more aliens, the government, cowboys, George Foreman, more aliens, and more Miami drug dealers, Smith took on the next logical opponent: robots. In the sci-fi film I, Robot, he plays Del Spooner (top five Smith character name), a sideways beanie-wearing cop who hates robots. That’s not ideal when his most crucial relationships are with a robot and a cat. Smith gets to be angry and frustrated, but it’s one of his most forgettable roles and films.

21. Seven Pounds (2008)

When a film starts with the main character calling to report his own suicide, it’s unlikely that you’re in for an uplifiting ride. And that’s definitely the case in Seven Pounds, which finds Smith moping his way through it until he kills himself via jellyfish (yes, really). The No. 1 takeaway might actually be that for one of the few times in his career, Smith is outshined, with his Men in Black II costar Rosario Dawson doing the honors here.

20. Collateral Beauty (2016)

Barry Wetcher/Warner Bros.

Don’t let this photo fool you — take away the first two minutes and Smith is almost entirely sad, depressed, and silent during this poorly-received drama. Until the film’s last 30 minutes or so, Smith is more of a plot device for the star-studded supporting cast. But, the appearances of “Love,” “Time,” and “Death” eventually bring him alive, leading to some strong emotional moments that come a little too late to help Collateral Beauty sneak into the top half of Smith’s peformances.

19. Wild Wild West (1999)

Hot take: Smith isn’t bad in Wild Wild West. Let’s be clear, Wild Wild West is bad, like really bad, but its star isn’t. While Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, and Salma Hayek all scored Razzie noms for their performances, Smith didn’t (I’m blaming Kline for Worst Screen Couple) and that’s because he was far from the problem, coasting on his charisma and ability to pull off a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a jacket with no shirt. And if I’m being honest, I’m definitely giving extra points for the “Wild Wild West” theme song and the memorable MTV Movie Awards performance. A horse! Sisqo! Stevie Wonder! On second thought, maybe those should have been Smith’s costars.

18. Jersey Girl (2004)

It turns out that Will Smith is really good at playing Will Smith. In 2004, he took a break from blockbusters to cameo in Kevin Smith’s critical and commercial disappointment. Smith’s sole scene finds him navigating between comedy and drama, both saying he’s “ridiculously” hung and giving the sentimental parenting speech that inspires Ben Affleck’s character to give up the fast-paced corporate lifestyle in order to be a better father. Bonus points for Smith’s amazing 2004 movie star outfit!

17. Winter’s Tale (2014)

Another cameo, another critical and commercial failure. But in Akiva Goldsman’s film, the actor plays the complete opposite of Will Smith: Lucifer. For the only time so far in his career, Smith takes on the role of a true evil person/being (a hitman with a heart of gold in Suicide Squad doesn’t count) and it was nice to see him briefly deviate from his movie star formula. The face-off with Russell Crowe’s demon is initially unremarkble, until Lucifer launches into a fierce and scary tirade that is unlike anything Smith has ever done.

16. Men in Black 3 (2012)

Wilson Webb/Columbia Pictures

After being good for at least one movie every year during his peak, Smith’s four-year absence from the big screen for some reason comes to an end with Men in Black 3. It’s unclear who wanted or needed this film, but it’s still an improvement on its predecessor for a few reasons, all of which were related to Smith. There’s a fresh dynamic for Smith to play with as Josh Brolin stars as young Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones); Agent J’s amusing bewilderment is back; and the big final reveal gives Smith a nice emotional moment that neither of the first two films had.

15. Bright (2017)

Another instance where the execution doesn’t live up to the promise. Smith playing a grizzled, mustached veteran cop in a film from the writer behind Training Day sounds like a home run. And yet, the only thing knocked out of the park is a fairy (“Fairy lives don’t matter,” apparently). While the script and Joel Edgerton’s makeup do Smith no favors, he comes out mostly unscathed, doing his best to ground a story about orcs, elves, and a magic wand.

14. Gemini Man (2019)

A for effort? Smith pulls double duty in Ang Lee’s thriller, playing both Henry, an aging assassin, and his younger clone, Junior, who is sent to kill him. Unfortunately, the script doesn’t live up to the promise and mostly impressive CGI (the final scene is laughably distracting). But, Smith, like in many of his recent films, does what he can, bringing a real weariness and fatigue to Henry, while delivering an innocence to Junior that we’ve rarely seen from the actor.

13. Aladdin (2019)

“A little Fresh Prince, little Hitch, and a whole lot of attitude.” That is how Will Smith’s take on Genie was described more than a year before the film came out. And, honestly, the only thing that could have gotten me more excited was if you threw in “a little Bad Boys.” But, even without some Mike Lowrey, Smith put his own spin on Robin Williams’ iconic character and made Aladdin fun and entertaining for every second he was onscreen. And, more importantly, Will Smith is rapping again!!

12. Concussion (2015)

Melinda Sue Gordon/Columbia Pictures

“Tell the truth!” Smith’s character Bennet Omalu memorably demands of an NFL employee who is denying football’s effects on the brain. Well, the truth is that Concussion is a bad movie full of reported inaccuracies that is only watchable because of Smith’s understated performance. For once, he isn’t sad, funny, or cool; he’s determined. And like his past portrayals of real-life figures, the actor earned a Golden Globe nomination for the role.

11. Focus (2015)

The return of cool Will Smith! For some reason, after building a career on his charisma and charm, Smith went away from it for basically a decade, opting instead to be sad (Seven Pounds), dark (Winter’s Tale), or just straight boring (After Earth). But with Focus, at least very temporarily, Smith became cool again. (Following up with Concussion, Suicide Squad, Collateral Beauty, and Bright is why I say “very temporarily.”) Over the years, Smith has had hit-or-miss chemistry with his love interests, but the pairing with Margot Robbie is definitely a hit and initially gave one reason to be optimistic about Suicide Squad.

10. Bad Boys II (2003)

Columbia/Everett Collection

Eight years after first riding and dying together, Smith reunited with Martin Lawrence for Michael Bay’s high-octane sequel. Once again, Lawrence gets to be the real comedic star, while Smith is the movie star. The nonstop action doesn’t leave much room for Smith to stretch his acting muscles, but the back-and-forth between the two actors is a high point and maybe the most rapport that Smith has ever had with a costar (sorry, Tommy Lee Jones and Jada Pinkett Smith). Now if only we could finally get Bad Boys III before they are too old for this s—.

9. Six Degrees of Separation (1993)

Just before Smith catapulted to movie stardom in summer blockbusters, the rapper surprised audiences (and Hollywood!) in a truly dramatic turn, taking on the role of a young, gay con artist. Starring as the shady Paul, Smith plays a character playing a character and he more than holds his own against Ian McKellen, Donald Sutherland, and Stockard Channing, who he says he fell in love with after getting too into character. The one knock against Smith here is his reported refusal to kiss Anthony Michael Hall on the advice of Denzel Washington as to not damage his movie star appeal. (C’mon, 1993.)

8. Men in Black (1997)

While Bad Boys and Independence Day had Smith trending up, Men in Black is when he officially became a movie star. After Chris O’Donnell and David Schwimmer passed on playing NYPD cop-turned-rookie Agent J, Smith was somehow the next logical choice, turning in a character and performance that neither of the first two choices could have. Whether he’s cracking jokes or shouting in both fear and amazement about the presence of aliens, Smith shines bright.

7. Bad Boys (1995)

Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock

Arsenio Hall’s hilarious mistake is Will Smith’s gain as the Fresh Prince gets his first chance to be a big screen leading man. And he makes the most of the opportunity, oozing with swagger as ladies man Detective Mike Lowrey. But just like in the previously discussed sequel, Michael Bay’s buddy cop vehicle sets up Martin Lawrence, who was headlining his own sitcom, to be the real star. Don’t worry, though, because Smith got the last laugh with Bad Boys kicking off an epic four-year run and setting him up to soon become Hollywood’s most bankable star.

6. Independence Day (1996)

No offense, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, and Randy Quaid, but we kept wishing to go back to Smith, who doesn’t show up until 25 minutes into Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi classic. While the role of pilot Steven Hiller is just part of an ensemble, Smith is no doubt the true star, dominating every scene he’s in and nailing one-liners. “Welcome to Earth,” he says after punching an alien. “Now that’s what I call a close encounter.” Now that’s what I call a movie star-making performance.

5. Ali (2001)

Frank Connor/Columbia Pictures

Maybe the greatest compliment that can be paid to Smith’s performance as Muhammad Ali is that I can’t imagine anyone else playing the boxer. In many of his films, it’s hard to see past Will Smith. “Oh, that’s just Will Smith with a badge.” But here, you just see Ali. And the Academy agreed, giving Smith the first of his two Oscar nominations.

4. Enemy of the State (1998)

It’s not often that Smith plays an everyman. His first three lead roles featured him as a badass cop, a badass pilot fighting aliens, and a badass secret agent investigating alien activity. Here, in the underrated gem from director Tony Scott, he’s a lawyer who just happened to be at the wrong lingerie store at the wrong time. Not able to just skate on his charisma, Smith excels as being overwhelmed and out of his element. It might seem strange that a performance like this is above Ali, but often times pulling off a smart, action-packed thriller is even tougher than a biopic.

3. I Am Legend (2007)

Barry Wetcher/Warner Bros.

Smith has had great chemistry with costars over the years, whether it’s Martin Lawrence or Tommy Lee Jones or Margot Robbie, and that streak continues in I Am Legend, even if the chemistry is with a dog and a mannequin. The magnetic actor has given heartbreaking perfomances before, but none like Dr. Robert Neville, who very might be the last man on Earth. During one 10-minute stretch, Smith shows enormous range as he is forced to put his dog down, and then emotionally unleashing on a female mannequin. It’s quite possibly the best work of his entire career. Legendary, indeed.

2. Hitch (2005)

Barry Wetcher/Sony Pictures

Disclaimer: I’ve been accused a time or two of talking too much about Hitch, a.k.a. the greatest rom-com ever made. But it’s for good reason! The only full-on rom-com of Smith’s career came a few years after the peak of his powers, but still in the midst of his prime, and he gets to perfectly play many versions of the date doctor: charming Hitch, allergic reaction Hitch, flustered Hitch, embarrassed Hitch, nerd Hitch. And it’s almost impossible to pick just one scene to highlight; it could be meeting Sara (Eva Mendes) for the first time, or teaching Albert (Kevin James) how to dance, or Hitch and Albert kissing, or the speed dating confrontation. You know what, just go watch the whole movie and fall in love all over again.

1. The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

It seems fitting that Smith’s best and worst performances featured him acting alongside his son Jaden. As you’ve noticed, I’m not a big fan of sad Will Smith, but this is the exception to the rule. Throughout the film, he wears his pain on his sleeve, constantly breaking your heart, whether he’s giving away his character’s last $5 or locked inside a subway bathroom, crying and holding on tight to his sleeping son. The emotional portrayal of homeless salesman/aspiring stockbroker Chris Gardner earned Smith the second of his two Oscar nominations, and hopefully not his last.

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jimmydemaret · 4 years

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rickhorrow · 6 years

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15 TO WATCH/5 SPORTS TECH/POWER OF SPORTS 5: RICK HORROW’S TOP SPORTS/BIZ/TECH/PHILANTHROPY ISSUES FOR THE WEEK OF AUGUST 13

with Jamie Swimmer & Jesse Leeds Grant

Golf and tech engines are revving for the second annual Indy Women in Tech Championship Powered by Group1001. Boasting a $2 million purse, dozens of the world’s best female golfers, and a classic location – the Brickyard Crossing Golf Course, designed by Pete Dye – the Indy Women in Tech Championship also shows off a unique week of tech and STEM focused events for women and girls. Indy Women in Tech makes an annual commitment to support local initiatives financially and through marketing platforms surrounding the LPGA event with a particular focus on expanding the reach of robotic programs in schools; expanding STEM days; helping to create programs that enable professional, full-time athletes to gain the network, confidence, support, and skills to enter the full-time workforce; and creating initiatives aimed at women who have been away from the workforce and equipping them with the skills needed to use tech as a vehicle back to the workforce. Leadership at all levels is also an important component of this event. While the ability to lead and influence is apparent on the PGA Tour – as we saw during Sunday’s PGA Championship final round, as winner and likely Player of the Year Brooks Koepka battled timeless Tiger Woods – the LPGA has been missing a true icon for some years. Here’s hoping one comes into sharper focus this week in Indy.

In the wake of this past year’s FBI scandal that took college basketball by storm, the NCAA has unveiled a series of rules changes aimed at cleaning up and reforming the game. According to USA Today, the NCAA is broadly promoting stricter enforcement of the rule book, tougher penalties for violations of such rules, and adding independent investigators for “complex” cases. In such instances, NCAA investigators will now be allowed to “accept information established by another administrative body, including a court of law, government agency, accrediting body or a commission authorized by a school.” One of the biggest issues going forward now is how USA Basketball, the NCAA, and NBA work together on implementing these changes. Under the new rules, elite high school basketball recruits and college players will be eligible to be represented by agents who are certified by the NCAA; the NCAA has tasked USA Basketball with selecting which players will be allowed to sign with agents, but it wants “no part” in bearing such responsibility. The changes are being hailed as “enormously significant” by those in college basketball, though they likely will not be implemented until 2022 at the earliest and still need to be ironed out.

Los Angeles Rams Owner and American billionaire Stan Kroenke has agreed to pay $777 million to buy out Alisher Usmanov’s stake in Arsenal to become the club’s sole owner. According to the London Times, Kroenke’s business, Kroenke Sports & Entertainment, reported that Usmanov accepted the offer, which values the London-based Premier League club at $2.3 billion. The two billionaires have been battling each other for control of the club ever since they initially invested back in 2007; “Kroenke has been Arsenal’s majority shareholder since 2011 and is planning to make offers to the club’s number of remaining small shareholders to take complete control.” The capital needed to fund the takeover will likely come from a mix of Kroenke’s personal money and from raising capital – $58.2 million of his own money will be used and the remaining $721 million will be borrowed, “which he says will not be borrowed against the club.” This marks the latest move by Kroenke to expand his sports business empire, but Gunner fans are not happy with the move, citing Kroenke’s concern for the bottom line over trophies won.

With the recent release of the upcoming season’s NBA schedule, the league is betting on LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers to attract a crowd everywhere they go. According to the Los Angeles Times, the Lakers have lost a significant amount of public intrigue since Kobe Bryant’s retirement a few years ago, but they are “officially back square in the public eye.” Christmas Day, always known to feature marquee matchups, will pit the Philadelphia 76ers against the Boston Celtics in a heated East Coast battle, followed by the Oklahoma City Thunder against the Houston Rockets, and capped off with a matchup between LeBron’s Lakers and the reigning NBA Champion Golden State Warriors. Some have questioned the league’s scheduling decisions though, specifically why the Lakers open the season on the road instead of at Staples Center and why the Warriors-Rockets, Lakers-Celtics matchups are not being featured on Christmas Day. In a league that is so driven by fan engagement and television ratings, the NBA had to make some tough scheduling decisions – some to the chagrin of loyal fans.

Mississippi has become the fourth state to legalize sports betting in the wake of the Supreme Court’s recent decision. According to JohnWallStreet, Mississippi now follows Nevada, New Jersey, and Delaware and has opened sportsbooks at Beau Rivage Casino in Biloxi and Gold Strike Casino in Tunica – both properties owned by MGM Resorts International. State laws will require anyone wanting to make in-game bets to “visit their local casino as mobile betting will be restricted to those on the casino’s physical premises.” Currently no other states in the South offer legalized sports betting, though neighboring Alabama has more illegal college football bets per capita than any other state in the country. While MGM has the first-mover advantage in Mississippi, William Hill has gone to greater lengths to establish itself; the company has already announced partnerships with 11 casinos around the state. Mississippi’s advantage as the only Southern state with legalized sports betting is expected to last for at least one year, but could be longer.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is calling for more consistency when it comes to the ongoing national anthem dilemma in pro football. According to The Ringer, Rodgers agrees with San Francisco 49ers CEO Jed York’s comments about halting concessions during the playing of the anthem before games. “Everybody in the stadium stands and does the exact same thing,” said Rodgers. “You have people in the concession, people in the bathroom; you’ve got cameramen on their knee watching. You can’t have it one way or another.” Rodgers went on to underline the looming misconception about why players protest the anthem – not to protest the song itself or the troops serving our country, but to protest social inequality and racial injustice. NFL Hall of Famer Jim Brown chimed in, noting that he personally would never take a knee during the playing of the anthem. “I am not going to denigrate my flag and I’m going to stand for the national anthem,” said Brown. “I’m fighting with all of my strength to make it a better country, but I don’t think that’s the issue.” With the NFL’s regular season kicking off in mere weeks, the league is running out of time to hammer down a solid anthem plan.

In honor of the new Premier League season kicking off across the pond, let’s take a look to look at some of the financials behind the world’s most lucrative soccer league. According to the London Telegraph, since its humble origins back in 1992, the Premier League has grown to nearly unrecognizable heights. Heading into this year’s campaign, the total value of shirt sponsorship was worth more than $388 million, reflecting the league’s increasing global appeal. That number is not only representative of the league’s popularity, but of the ever-evolving and changing business climate in which its teams operate. The Premier League’s founding “coincided with the electronics booms,” by the fact that by 2002-2003 six telecoms and media companies had their names on team’s shirts, but has since grown well beyond that. Nowadays it is easy to see the geopolitical influence and the “rise of the Middle East” being reflected by the Gulf’s two biggest airlines – Emirates supporting Arsenal and Etihad sponsoring Manchester City. The new big trend in the Premier League is gambling entities. With their continued rise in popularity and the recent Supreme Court decision in the U.S., expect sports betting sponsorship to grow in the UK as well.

The Atlanta Braves have two things to be happy with these days – their on-field performance and their bottom line. The Braves are currently battling it out with the Philadelphia Phillies for control of the NL East while also reporting significantly improved financials from last year. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, over the first three months of the season the team “showed a modest increase in revenue and a surge in profit.” The team’s revenue from Q2 was up $6 million compared to last year’s number – $182 million this year versus $176 million last year. The really impressive number is the club’s profits; last year the Braves reported a loss of $1 million, and this year they are reporting a quarterly profit of $37 million after depreciation and amortization. Braves owner Liberty Media said the increased profits were “primarily driven by higher revenue and reduced operating expenses from lower player salaries due to the acceleration of player salary expense in previous quarters as a result of released and injured players.” Business continues to boom around SunTrust Park, with a new 140-room hotel coming to The Battery. If the team keeps winning expect the money to keep coming.

Adidas is expected to meet year-end financial targets after reporting stronger-than-anticipated Q2 profits. According to CNBC.com, the sportswear company was expected to register $448.7 million in net profit this past quarter, but that number came in at $484.6 million, up 20% from what analysts predicted. Sales were up 10% to $6.14 billion, beating the expected 8% rise. Adidas said that it was “taking a medium triple-digit million euro impairment regarding its Reebok brand after the German Financial Reporting Enforcement Panel disagreed with how the firm calculated historical book value.” The move is not expected to have an impact on the year’s final financial numbers. Adidas, the official sponsor of this summer’s 2018 FIFA World Cup, saw its marketing spend and jersey sales increase thanks to the tournament. Despite Nike coming out as the real winner from Russia with three of the four semi-finalists and both finalists donning the swoosh over the three stripes, Adidas sold more than eight million jerseys during the World Cup and appears to be in good financial standing.

ESPN continues to add exclusive content to its new OTT platform, ESPN+. According to JohnWallStreet, the sports network has announced a new multi-year deal with Italy’s top soccer league, Serie A, to broadcast matches in the United States, with most airing on ESPN+ and a Match of the Week broadcast on either ESPN or ESPN2; the matches will also be available in Spanish on ESPN Deportes. The deal was struck before Serie A’s first match and will kick off with Ronaldo’s Juventus debut on August 18. Additionally, ESPN inked a new seven-year deal with Top Rank Boxing, replacing the four-year agreement that the two sides agreed to last summer. The “new pact calls for ESPN to bring fight fans 54 cards per year, 36 of which (includes 24 international cards) will be exclusive to ESPN+ subscribers.” Though still in its infancy, ESPN’s OTT platform is one of the few bright spots for the network. In fiscal Q3, ESPN’s advertisement revenue decreased, programming costs increased, and its television base shrunk, but ESPN+’s affiliated fees helped the company post mid-single digital revenue growth, rising to $15.23 billion.

The Washington Redskins, a club that once prided itself on having a season ticket waiting list that included as many as 200,000 names, are scrambling to not only attract new fans, but to hold on to current ones. According to the Washington Post, the Redskins have recently begun advertising single-game general admission tickets for the upcoming season instead of “continuing their long-running claim of a season ticket waiting list and a resulting lack of inventory.” Just two months ago, the club admitted that its “mythical” waiting list no longer existed, trying to push to reengage with fans as opposed to keeping them at a distance. Along with ending its waitlist claims, the Redskins are offering season ticket holders discounts ranging from 20-50% on all food at FedEx Field when they scan their mobile or paper tickets after placing an order at a concession stand. This approach of intimately catering to its fan base comes as a drastic change in strategy from previous years. Without a playoff win in over 10 years, the Redskins are looking for alternative ways of getting people in seats on game days.

With the 2022 Beijing Olympics only four years away, NHL legend Wayne Gretzky is being tasked with helping to grow the game in China. According to ChinaDaily.com, Gretzky has been appointed as a global ambassador for the KHL Chinese Kunlun Red Star. In his role, Gretzky will help develop a comprehensive youth development program in China, visiting the country in mid-September to make promotional stops in Beijing, Shenzhen, and Shanghai. China “is seeking to boost hockey in a country where winter sports participation remains in its infancy.” While this is certainly going to be a challenge for Gretzky, the NHL has already begun trying to tap into the market from a grassroots level. For the second year, the league is holding promotional games in China, when the Boston Bruins square off against the Calgary Flames in Shenzhen, coinciding with Gretzky’s mid-September visit. With a population of nearly 1.4 billion, China presents a massive opportunity to spread the game of hockey. While it certainly won’t be easy to do, it seems fitting that Wayne Gretzky is the one tasked with this.

LionTree has become a minority investor in Ripken Holdings LCC, the parent company of Ripken Baseball. According to SportsBusiness Journal, LionTree, a global investment and merchant bank, has strategically decided to invest in Ripken Holdings in an attempt to help “jumpstart an expansion of Ripken’s youth baseball operations.” The amount invested by LionTree has not been disclosed, but the capital will be put toward developing more youth baseball complexes around the country; Ripken Baseball currently operates such facilities in Aberdeen, MD; Myrtle Beach, SC; and Pigeon Forge, TN. “Adding a minority partner gives us an infusion of capital where we can now really expand the model,” said Ripken Holdings CEO and MLB Hall of Famer Cal Ripken Jr. “And with LionTree, this is also a firm that has a lot of digital expertise and allow us to grow that part of that online content and teaching business, too.” Ripken Baseball has long been a pioneer in trying to grow baseball at the youth level, helping MLB overcome one of its biggest hurdles – youth engagement.

ATP/WTA BNP Paribas Open tournament Owner Larry Ellison has become an investor in the reform project for the Davis Cup. And according to the Desert Sun, this means there may be an "even greater possibility" of bringing the event to the California desert as early as 2021. Ellison, the "wealthiest man in tennis," and among the world’s wealthiest people, became an investor in the 25-year, $3 billion partnership between the ITF and investment group Kosmos that is "expected to reform Davis Cup into a one-week event." Ellison purchased the BNP Paribas Open and Indian Wells Tennis Garden in 2010, and has since "invested substantially into making the March event into a marvel within the sport." The Kosmos/ITF Davis Cup reform project "will create a season finale with 18 tennis nations and their individual tennis stars playing at world class venues." On August 16 in Orlando, it "could become more clear whether this could eventually bring more world class tennis to Indian Wells when the ITF votes on whether to accept the project proposal.” The event, as envisioned by the reform project and Ellison, could generate significant revenues for tennis development worldwide.

PHIT America released its Inactivity Pandemic’ Report 2018 last week, and the results are grim. The organization reports that 7% of American children are physically active to CDC standards, while the number of U.S. children who are active three times a week has dropped to 23.9%, a decrease of 15% in the last five years; core participation in team sports in the U.S. is also down for the fifth straight year. Said PHIT America Founder Jim Baugh. “Do we really think Americans are going to put down their smart phones and tablets? Will schools suddenly start putting daily P.E. back in our schools? Hell no! The competition is going to get stronger. And the sports and fitness industry must respond.” On brand campaigns to get more children playing sports, Baugh questioned, “Are they really just PR programs for their brand? What is their cost per participant? I bet it isn’t close to the PHIT America formula, which is less than $10 to get a kid physically moving while at school. If PHIT America had access to those brand funds, their ROI would be much better. And, perhaps, more kids would be fitter.

Tech Top 5

DraftKings launches first sports betting in New Jersey. Online fantasy sports provider DraftKings has announced the launch of DraftKings Sportsbook, making it the first company to offer legal online and mobile sports betting in New Jersey. The move comes two months after DraftKings officially applied for a sports betting license in the state after laws restricting wagering on sporting events were relaxed in the country. DraftKings says that it has used insight into the habits of American sports fans to tailor its sportsbook app and online platform to their preferences. The service will give users the ability to place multiple types of bets, including live in-game bets, on both major and niche sports taking place locally and internationally. In addition, the app and website will allow consumers to toggle between the company’s fantasy sports and sportsbook platforms, enabling them to place a bet and then draft a fantasy line-up with one click. While its sportsbook is currently only available in New Jersey, DraftKings is prepared to act in response to the legalization of sports betting in other states across the U.S.

European Championships launch VR app. The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) has launched a virtual reality app to accompany the ongoing multi-sport European Championships. The European Championships Lounge has been released and made available to EBU member broadcasters, offering viewers an innovative way to take in the sporting action, which is taking place in Berlin and Glasgow. Individual broadcasters have been given the opportunity to personalize the VR experience to meet the nations’ requirements, using it as a supplementary tool to attract a new audience. More than 50 hours of content from the track and field events at Germany’s Olympic Stadium have been made available on the app, as well as other competitions’ live feeds, leaderboards, and statistics. The VR platform can be purchased in Google, Apple, and Oculus stores. Stefan Kürten, director of EBU Sport said, “This approach will drive new audiences to the coverage, creating a massive footprint across all screens, supporting and helping our member broadcasters and partners to the fullest.”

Eleven Sports makes Facebook UK free-to-air partner. Eleven Sports has confirmed a partnership with Facebook that sees the social media platform become the broadcaster’s free-to-air (FTA) partner in the UK and Ireland. As part of the agreement, at least one match per week from both La Liga and Serie A will be shown live and free of charge on Eleven’s UK Facebook page, with a selection of games from the rest of the company’s top-flight soccer portfolio to be made available on Facebook across the season. Cristiano Ronaldo's anticipated Serie A debut is one of the opening games selected for live streaming on Facebook, with Juventus’ trip to Chievo being shown on August 18. In addition to the live matches, in-game highlights and clips, weekly review shows, and socially-led content will be published on Eleven’s Facebook page to help drive interaction and engagement. The deal comes after Eleven announced it would show the first two rounds of the 2018 PGA Championship on its Facebook channel.

Sportradar is valued at $2.4 billion. Private equity firm EQT has sold a minority share of sports data and integrity company Sportradar to Canada Pension Investment Board (CPPIB) and Silicon Valley-based growth equity firm TCV. The investment sees CPPIB and TCV become strategic partners of Sportradar in a deal which values the company at $2.4 billion. Under the terms of the deal, Sportradar founder and chief executive Carsten Koerl will retain his entire ownership position and continue to drive its future development and growth. EQT will also reinvest a portion of its sale proceeds into Sportradar. “CPPIB and TCV are both known for extensive global tech experience and a track record for working alongside innovative management teams to help achieve their long-term vision,” said Koerl. “Having two new investors with a strong North American footprint is ideal given our increasing focus and expanding operations in the U.S.” Sportradar has a number of high-profile partnerships within sport, including agreements with the NBA, NFL, and FIFA.

Seattle Seahawks and Sounders implement screening technology. Seattle’s two remaining men’s major league sports teams have partnered with screening company Clear to bolster fan security at their shared CenturyLink Field home. The NFL Seattle Seahawks and MLS Seattle Sounders have followed the lead of the MLB Seattle Mariners to introduce Clear’s fingerprint recognition technology at the venue’s security entry checkpoints. The deal is designed to allow fans to enter CenturyLink Field more easily while also using the system to purchase concessions and make payments. The Seahawks are the first NFL team to implement the platform, which was used for the first time at the team’s preseason game against the Indianapolis Colts. The Sounders are the fourth MLS team to install the technology. In order to enroll and use the system, kiosks will be situated around the stadium, where fans will have to answer questions and create a biometric account by scanning their fingerprints. Clear Sports membership is free.

Power of Sports 5

Aaron Rodgers talks Wounded Warrior Project in new video. Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is one of four professional athletes featured in Sharpie’s Uncap the Possibilities campaign, which looks at how each athlete is inspiring positive change through their chosen charity. In the video series, releases in partnership with The Players’ Tribune, Rodgers talked about how his grandfather served in the Air Force and was active duty during World War II. He came home with a Purple Heart and a Silver Star. His service was “one of the greatest achievements of his life,” Rodgers said. The Wounded Warrior Project works to help veterans live life on their own terms by providing free programs and services in mental health, career counseling, and long term rehabilitative care. In a statement Sharpie said, “It’s this natural talent that has enabled the quarterback to orchestrate countless thrilling come-from-behind wins in the closing minutes of the game. And Aaron’s chosen charity, Wounded Warrior Project®, is all about the strong comeback that the wounded veterans it serves can experience.”

Shane Victorino visits Boys and Girls Club. Shane Victorino hasn't been a Phillie since 2012, but with his retirement set, he was back in town to visit the place that, after a nearly $1 million donation to help with renovations in 2011, now bears his name. Victorino toured the facilities and checked in on summer programs. He discussed some of the younger kids' artwork with the artists themselves. Other than a 2008 World Series championship, Victorino said, being able to give that to the Nicetown community is what he's most proud of when he looks back at his time in Philadelphia. "To be able to give back and embrace a community, especially here in Nicetown, it meant a lot," Victorino said. "This is it for the rest of my life and hopefully many years beyond that. When I renovated this building, it was 100-plus years old. So, hopefully for the next 100 years, this thing can provide a safe haven and somewhere for these kids to come and enjoy themselves.” While the Shane Victorino Nicetown Boys & Girls Club renovations have been his signature project, Victorino has also been involved with clinics and projects in his home state, Hawaii.

NHL All-Stars golf for mental health. Toronto Maple Leafs center Nazem Kadri will be joined by a number of NHL all-stars for the 6th Annual Nazem Kadri Charity Golf Classic at the Sunningdale Golf and Country Club. “I think we’re really trying to focus on that stigma and I still feel like there’s more awareness to be raised,” said Kadri. “We’re really trying to focus on that this year.” The Nazem Kadri Foundation is a proud support of local Canadian charities and strives to give back to the community by raising awareness and funding to aid important causes.

Semper Fi 5k charity race becomes RaceThread partner race. RaceThread, the most comprehensive searchable directory of races from every sport, partners with Washington D.C charity race Semper Fi 5K Run/Walk, an annual 5K race that benefits the Semper Fi Fund, a non-profit organization that provides financial assistance and support to wounded, critically ill, and injured members of the military. The partnership with the race directory and the local charity race provides a premium access account free of charge as well as gives the run/walk participants a way to provide feedback on the race. With more than 55,000 races, RaceThread allows athletes of all abilities to search and find the next race that’s perfect for them based on the race’s profile and reviews. From the most scenic run to worst post-race food to the best finish line medal, RaceThread provides logistics and previous participants’ thoughts all on one page. To keep the directory up to date for users and allow race directors complete control of the race information, RaceThread partners with race directors who can claim their race profile and in doing so, update the information, attract new athletes, and create an online hub for participants.

Chris Paul donates $2.5 million to Wake Forest Basketball. Former Wake Forest University superstar and hometown hero Chris Paul is donating $2.5 million to support Wake Forest Basketball. The Houston Rockets point guard’s latest donation to his alma mater – the largest ever by a former basketball student-athlete or any alumnus under the age of 35 – will ensure that future generations of Demon Deacons can succeed on and off the court. Paul’s leadership gift demonstrates significant progress in fundraising efforts to transform the men’s and women’s basketball clubhouses with expanded and enhanced locker rooms, nutrition resources, and treatment areas. The new Chris Paul Locker Room for the men’s team will be named in his honor. “Giving back has always been important to my family and me, and Wake Forest is part of my family,” Paul said. The recent investments towards improving Wake Forest Athletics are amazing, and now is the time to give back in a meaningful way.”

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