#good morning. i’ve been v good abt getting everything i need to done lately so

[raiiny-bay]

:-)

[dreammutual-remade]

mua!you and lucas

request: hi may you please do a bullet point scenario about lucas and his girlfriend who is a make up artist for nct. thank youu- anon

word count: 3.4k

a/n: anon !!! thank u for requesting I lowkey struggled with this concept bc I was like uhhh how r they gonna u know,,, do the affection but once I figured it out this was so fun to write !!! I love Lucas hehehehehe. also I realized when I was picKINg this gif that I forgot to include the filming of the yearbook shiygeidfhvf pretend it didn't happeN okay

ps I have 8 requests as of now and I promise I will get to all of them pls have patience w/ me ily all <33333

good evening, Thots

let us dive in, shall we

alright so you had been doing makeup since you were a wee lass !!

of course it was , pretty terrible but like practice makes perfect and now you’re an absolute LEGEND

one of your friends convinced you to start posting tutorials and have an instagram acc dedicated to your Iconic Looks and the rest was history !!!!

you started getting hella attention everyone loved you bitch !!!

so you started advertising you were like ayy if y’all need your makeup done , hmu i am Skilled

at first you started out doing other gals makeup for formal dances and whatnot

then you climbed your way up the celebrity ladder and now you’re a god damn nct makeup artist ?????

things you did: THAT

alright so you got hired just in time for cherry bomb promotions

you took a look at some of their past looks and ,,,,, you were horrified honestly who did that to them

SM CAN GET FUCKED

anyways you Turned Their Shit Around and had them lookin bout fine as hell

all the boys had been super awkward around you at first and it was soooo funny

because you were pretty used to being v close to people you don’t know well

from all the years of doing other people’s makeup now you just go right in

you got real close to mark and he squeaked and like pressed himself back into the chair

like ? shouldn’t he be used to this by now ???

johnny was the only one who was cool with you the first time even if he was an absolute SLEAZEBAG

“sorry if i get all up in your face i’m just trying to keep your eyebrows FLEEKY U KNO WHAT IM SAYIN”

“nah i don’t mind having a face like yours that close ;)))))”

“oops didn’t mean to bump into your knee like that”

“that’s okay my lap is always open for u :}”

he’s the worst god i love him

you’re on the younger side too so he’s all,

c̢̖̲̹̞̰̪ͅa̫͠l̶̜̞l̠̝͇͠ ̪̙͕̲̫̯m̙̪͖e̱͙̦̳̦̝͢ ͕̼̳̰̞o̹p҉͖̘͙͍̞̲p͍̙͙͙̹̖͞a҉̠͓̠̜͕

and you’re all

NO

taeyong asks how old you are and as soon as he finds out you’re younger than him he becomes your mom

you’ll be doing his makeup and he’s like okay but have u eaten today ??? you look too thin please eat

“one: stop moviNG IM TRYING TO CONTOUR YOU and two: please are u my damn grandmother i’m FINE i’ve eaten plenty :&&;&,$,”

you and haechan just roast each other the whole time

“yet another pimple i see, hyuckie, have you been keeping up with the skincare regimen i sent you home with?”

“first of all, fuck you, second of all, you sent me home with a piece of paper that said ‘you can wash your face to get rid of the acne but there’s nothing you can do about the ugly’ you evil WITCH”

but it’s all in good fun and you and hyuck are besties at heart and can tell when it’s not a good day for teasing

whenever you can tell he’s down you make sure to be extra playful when you’re putting on his makeup, tapping him on the nose or tickling his ear with your makeup brush til he giggles

i’m soft gOD

THIS ISNT A DONGHYUCK FIC I GOTTA CHILL

the rest are pretty cool with you too!! yuta is a worse flirt than johnny though it’s like unnecessary but it’s funny and you know he’s , mostly kidding, so you let it slide

anyways !!! cherry bomb is coming to a close and you did That the entire time you had them absolutely GLOWING

but then you get some emails from your boss talking about a new NCT U song/concept that will be filmed toward the end of the year

((i think that’s when it was filmed ?? i’m so sorry if there’s inaccuracies in here i’m very bad with dates :’-)))))))

they tell you you’re traveling to the UKRAINE

THATS FAR

and VERY COLD

they also tell you that they’re gonna be debuting two new members in this unit and you’re a little Nervous since you’ve only been doing 127’s and Dream’s makeup for the past like , half a year

(u were responsible for the we young era,,,,, god bless u)

but you’re also excited because they described the concept to you and you’ve already got ideas to make everyone look Hot and Badass

your boss sent some predebut pics and said the new ones were Yukhei and Jungwoo and, wOW THEYRE PRETTY

jungwoo looks absolutely soft and squishy so you’re a bit worried about making him look ,,,,, BOSS but yukhei.

is a whOLE MAN

he’s got big eyes and lips that give him softer features but , the look in his eyes and like his cheekbones and ????? wow you’re gonna turn him into Daddy Material

anywhom

the time has come and we are on our way to the ukraine !!! yeehaw it’s cold as balls out here

you arrive and get to stay in the hotel for a night before you gotta Get To Work

you arrive bright and early with all your beauty products

you , as the resident makeup artist, look cute as hell even if you are rather cold

your nose is tinted a bit red even tho you have foundation on rip

you set up your little station in the main tent because they’re gonna film all the outdoor parts first

jaehyun walks in first with winwin and they he looks scruffy af

“jaehyun you DOLT did you not shave ??? you know that tickles my hand when i’m trying to make you hot”

“i’m already hot”

“uh huh go shave your face i guarantee you don’t want me to try”

“ugh, yes ma’am”

“hey winwinie~”

“good morning !!!”

winwin is Precious and Easy To Work With as usual

mark comes in next and he’s flustered and cute AS USUAL

of course he’s comfy with you now but you enjoy making him flustered

“mark, baby, you’re GLOWING today!!! go off king”

“y/N PLEASE ENOUGH”

doyoung comes next and his Flawless Skin makes the process so much easier for you ugh

reLEASE THE SKINCARE ROUTINE

COWARDS

anywhom you get to meet jungwoo next !!!

FUCKIN UWU

his blue hair ,,,,,,,, amazing

he’s so sweet and releases little breathy giggles every once in a while when the brushes tickle him

you’re finishing up with jungwoo when, the Man Himself literally stumbles into the tent

“hyUNG are you almost done we’re bout to film man”

and he is absolutely Large and you are , very appreciative god damn

even barefaced this man baby looks GOOD that is not fair :-(

“lucas!~ you still have to get your makeup done but i think y/n was almost finished. are you?”

jungwoo turns to look up at you while he asked and you, have to exercise GREAT restraint not to talk to him in a baby voice

so you just nod and then give him a once over and tell him he can go ahead to wardrobe

you wave yukhei over and you’re like hey uh ,,, yukhei? or should i call u lucas ?!/!:&:&

he cackles and asks you to call him lucas and asks your name and how old you are and what your star sign is and your favorite color and your nct bias

(when you tell him you love them all equally he’s all like Not For Long 

>:-))) soon i shall PREVAIL)

basically he’s questioning you and you’re like oKAY PLEASE IM TRYING TO MAKE YOUR FACE BEAUTIFUL

“my face is already beautiful thank u very MUCH”

“you boys are all the same jaehyun  already pulled that shit today, LAME”

he pouts and you tap him on the lip with the handle of your makeup brush and then Get To Work

you truly have him lookin RIGHT wooo shit he looks good

and as you’re doing it your brain is like that clip from sponge bob where squidward is like oh NO he’s hot !!!! :(

you’re doing his eye makeup and you’re standing, in between his legs like they’re so long and in the way it’s the only way to get close enough to to do it well and you’re highkey, Blushing

he’s literally just staring up at you while you do his makeup and your hands are starting to shake what business does he have with such big brown puppy dog eyes :((((

“hey quit staRINg at me dude”

“ am i making u,,,, nervous ;)”

“, YES pls stop :((“

“aw i’m srry :((((“

pouts AGAIN and you shove his shoulder a little for making fun of you

when you finish you just kind of nod and he takes that as a go ahead and like SPRINGS up

and you’re standing very close so he almost knocks you the hell over

you tip backwards and he grabs you by the waist to steady you while you basically grab handfuls of his clothes to keep you upright

there’s a pause where you guys are just.. pressed together before you fly apart and lucas awkwardly rubs the back of his neck like nervous boys do in movies AW

“i really gotta stop knocking people over i almost took oUT jungwoo earlier srry abt that :’-))))))”

you’re like haha it’s fine :’-))))))))))))))

it’s really awkward so he yeets out of there just as taeyong strolls in looking entirely too smug

“so, you’ve taken a liking to our newest member hmmmm ??”

“aw no jungwoo is just so cute !!”

“quit playing dumb you knew what i meant”

“okaY but literally nothing happened please don’t make this a big deal”

“it’s a big deal bbg it’s tOO LATE NOW”

you sigh and then do his makeup pretty quickly since even barefaced he looks unreal

fckin anime character

okay everyone is now made up and dressed (jaehyun came last freshly shaven , looking like a bar of soap as usual) and you’re on standby outside to fix any little blemishes they may get while filming

everything is pretty good because most of the boys are used to wearing makeup but lucas is Dumb and just like ?? rubs at his eye and wipes half of it off ????

you sCREECH as he’s doing it and he jumps and is like ??? what is it what’s wrong with you

“what’s wrong with me ??? wHATS WRONG WITH YOU I WORKED HARD TO MAKE YOU LOOK THAT ETHEREAL DAMNIT”

you have to fix it on the spot so y’all can stay on schedule so he does that thing where he stands with his legs super far apart so his face is level with yours

his legs are so far apart in order for him to be short enough rip (.... literally. pray for his pants u guys)

you fix up his eye and warm him that you’ll give him a black eye with your fist instead of makeup if he messes up your Artwork again

the shoot goes really well and you get to know lucas and jungwoo better throughout the rest of the filming

things are…. tense between you and lucas but not in like a bad way more like a we are both sort of attracted to each other and unsure what to do from here way

lucas gets braver as time passes and has become wayyyyy more flirty

the tension just sort of transforms to hardcore flirting and little fleeting touches jskdkfk

you havent stopped blushing for like 4 days straight

as you do his makeup he’ll stare up at you with fckn awestruck eyes and one of his hands will drift up to circle around your wrist as you tilt his head this way and that

its a GIANT hand too I just wanna mention that they're very nice hands thank you for your time

as you do his makeup you’ll purposefully let your hand linger on his neck and use your thumb to caress turn his jaw

when you stand between his legs to do his makeup he’ll scoot to the edge of the chair to get as Close As Possible until your hips are almost touching the inside of his thighs ???:$&:&:@:@

SPICY

but eventually the shoot is over :(((( rip

buT no worries ;))))) black on black is being filmed in like a month and you’ll see his goofy ass soon heheh

highkey black on black makes u , Hot And Bothered like the part where lucas is on the floor and doing thaT THING

YALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

he highkey gets up and is like

did u like that babygirl ~~~ 😤😘💕🤪😩

and you just stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his tongue out at you and it’s Juvenile

“JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY!!!!”- johnny, from across the room

you: Red

lucas: wheezing

you guys pull all the same touchy flirty bullshit for this MV filming too and all the boys are like o.o

“hyung are u dating our makeup artist(¬‿¬) ” -chenle

“god i wish”

“what”

“i mean , no”

and now BOSS has been released and you’ve gotta do his makeup for all these stages and you two just , keep dancing around each other

when the boys get their first win for BOSS tho lucas is sO HYPE

because it’s his first time really performing live and they WON AND ???? THIS IS CRAZY

and he’s so happy he’s like shaking and he bursts into the dressing room after they all come off stage

he makes it there before everyone else because he RAN like a dork

you’re packing up all your stuff and hear the door open and you turn around to congratulate the boys but it’s just lucas and he runs in and pICKS YOU UP

he spins you around and sets you down and is like

JSDKSJDK Y/N WE WON ????

and you’re like

OMG YEAH I KNOW IM SO PROUD OF U ??!:&:@.

and then he just kisses you right on the lips in excitement

it’s just a press of lips and it was barely a kiss since he was still smiling so hard

his smile fades after and he looks , terrified

you also are terrified because ?

he’s Done It Now

the imaginary LINE has been CROSSED

but like, the barrier is broken now right ????

yolo

so you just shake your head and flick him on the nose

“damn you could have taken me to dinner first”

he laughs nervously because you haven’t made it clear whether or not you’re going to murder him and, That’s Scary

but you giggle and press up on your toes to kiss him more gently and tell him it’s okay and you like him and if he likes you back that would be GREAT

and he just smooshes you against him really hard and presses at least 26 kisses to your cheeks and it tickles and you’re like heY STOP THE LIPSTICK I PUT ON YOU WILL STAIN ME

“i like u too,, HEHEHHE”

“god you had to ruin it by cackling like the wicked witch of the west didn’t you???”

“absolutely, sweetheart :)”

okay the rest of nct u is on the way so you quickly agree that this should be a Semi Secret relationship because he’s so new to the scene and he’s probably not even allowed to date rn lol

but he INSISTS that he can treat you well no matter what and who are you to stop him honestly

he’s so blatant with the touching while you do his makeup now though that although you haven’t explicitly told anyone ,,, all the members of NCT know

he just loops his arms around your hips and pulls you close and blatantly admires you while you’re concentrated on his makeup

squeezes your ass every once in a while which makes you squeak and slap his shoulder

that little SHIT

one time taeil caught you sneaking in some food for lucas during dance practice and was like

“honestly just come in we all know you’re in a relationship gOD it’s so obvious”

so now you come to dance practice all the time with food for him and extra for the other boys

he’s always jealous

literally all the time

you’ll be doing marks makeup and hyping him up as usual

(baby bOY DESERVES IT)

and lucas will be :(((((( y don’t u say that stuff to me

“i literally say that and more to you and about you”

“okay but why not only me :(((((“

“oh my god”

or when you bring food he’ll be like NO she brought this for me go away you commoners !!!!!

honestly you feel like you’re taking care of a toddler sometimes except he’s HUGE

you have to be like

“now lucas, sharing is caring and i brought enough for everyone stop being gREEDY”

any free time he has he comes to your apartment

mainly because you guys want to be mushy and coupley and not have to listen to all the members whining and fake gagging

he’ll knock on your door at midnight with a blanket in hand and fresh out of the shower and looking CUTE

“can i sleep over :(((( i cant sleep without you:((((((“

BITCH

your heart melts oh my shosjdjdjckf

and this boy basically can’t sleep without you now because he sleeps over so much im emo

at first he insists on being the big spoon every time but after awhile Sleepy Baby Boy Lucas reveals himself

when he’s super tired he’ll just let himself in and climb in your bed and plant his head on your chest and his arms around your waist and just sigh contentedly

if he can’t sleep he’ll steal your hand and place it on top of his head and nudge you til you start running your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp

uwu this is so cute

loves to hold your hands whenever possible

you guys can’t really go on dates since the relationship is Super Secret and he wants so bad to show you off but he CANT :/

so he just pretends y’all are out on the town and holds your hand at home when you’re just chillin

has taken to putting things you need in very high places so he can come up behind you and reach over your head to hand it to you

okay but like once in a while you both do your best to have a Normal Date where you go out doors you just have to be

Incognito Mode

so summer dates dont really work out since it’s hard to hide your identity when you’re not covered head to toe because it’s HOT

they’re mainly winter dates like ice skating and hot chocolate and fall festival stuff !!!!

he insists that you go to any festival in town like INSISTS

festival for a random and obscure flower?? you best believe you’re attending and going home covered flowers

he tried to make you a flower crown but it kept falling apart so he just stuck flowers all up in your hair AWE

forced you to pose so he could take pictures of you

(he made it his lock screen !!!! uwu)

this boy just, loves you so much and the day he tells you is when you’re both sick and dying because he got a cold and then gave it to you so you’re both laying in bed feeling Terrible

you’re laying there and feeling lightheaded and too hot but you’re both Clingy so you still hold hands at least lmao

and lucas tugs on your hand and you flop on your side to look at him expectantly

“yes, lucas?”

“hey”

“hey”

“guess what”

“hmmmmm what”

“i love you”

“oh, me too”

“like you love me too or you love you too”

“U2 is alright i guess”

“no i mean do you love me or yourself”

“both”

“sweet, self love is important too”

and theN YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE PASS OUT HEHSHS

WHO CONFESSES THEIR LOVE LIKE THAT ????

when you wake up you feel slightly better and look over and see Your Man sprawled out over the bed with one arm haphazardly thrown over you

he rlly can’t sleep without a hand on you that is so so cute fuckdjkdjd

you remember confessing your love to each other in a delirious and feverish haze and snicker because it was RIDICULOUS

you gently turn to face him so you don’t wake him up and trail your fingertips up his arms to trace his features

his eyes flutter open and he’s literally unreal like he looks like an angel

and he smiles all sleepy like and brings his hand up to capture your wrist and kiss your palm

“good morning i’m no longer fucked up on theraflu and i love you”

“good morning i’m also no longer fucked up and i love you MORE”

he scoffs dramatically

“not possible !!!!!”

“is too !!!”

“is nOT”

“IS TOO”

“IS NOT”

and so on :-)

[kairoth]

Could you do all of the questions?

heyhey! yea! done on my laptop :>

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?♥ usually more milk but then i try to fix the ratio and it ends up being more cereal asfh

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?♥ eehhh sometimes

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?♥ mostly just pieces of paper lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?♥ with LOTS of sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?♥ yes. it's gross

6: do you keep plants?♥ yea!

7: do you name your plants?♥ ofc i do

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?♥ music mainly. like you'll know my mood by knowing what song i listen to

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?♥ ye ~

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?♥ my side usually but i move a lot in my sleep

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?♥ bongwater,,

12: what’s your favorite planet?♥ saturn! and pluto,,, and jupiter ahh

13: what’s something that made you smile today?♥ thinking about puppies !!!!!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?♥ idk? messy

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!♥ apparently you get taller in space

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?♥ this is boring of me but i like plain ol' pasta with butter and salt the most

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?♥ white with purple ombre !

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.♥ HHH when i was 6 months old i ate a spider and anyone who knows about it never lets me live it down

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?♥ i try to keep em and write in em but i often forget

20: what’s your favorite eye color?♥ mmm i can't choose, they're all great !

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.♥ oof my batman backpack that i gave to my dad. that thing went through A LOT. my new one is really good too tho. it's just red and black but it's served me well.

22: are you a morning person?♥ depends on if i've gotten a good night's sleep and if i'm particularly excited for the day!

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?♥ sleep, listen to music, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?♥ yea. we don't talk anymore tho. i miss him

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?♥ nowhere? i've never broken in before

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?♥ i always wear my vans til they fall apart. my current pair are space themed bc ofc

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?♥ juicyfruit ig?

28: sunrise or sunset?♥ sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?♥ ASFH UHM idk?? them just being themselves is enough for me to smile over them

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?♥ yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.♥ i wear mismatched socks all the time but like they do match each other somewhat. like. i have a bunch of stitch socks and i don't wear their match but i'll wear another stitch sock with it.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.♥ uhh me and two friends played never have i ever over kik once and long story short we learned a lot abt each other. some things we never wanted to know

33: what’s your fave pastry?♥ idk! i like danish pastries pretty well tho

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?♥ teddy!! i got him when i was 5 from my cousin for like a nickel. he's just a standard lil brown teddy bear. and ofc i still have him asdgh can't sleep without him. i even bring him to sleepovers

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?♥ yea! i use them when i can

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?♥ EDEN. and crywank generally fits me too

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?♥ i like it to be clean but often it just gets cluttered and i don't have the motivation to clean it

38: tell us about your pet peeves!♥ uhhh i hate rude, arrogant, judgemental people, disloyalty, uhm, the sound that weird plastic makes, uhhh idk

39: what color do you wear the most?♥ mostly black and white

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?♥ my solar system bracelet! i saw the post for it on tumblr and sent it to my mum, and she ended up getting it for me for christmas!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?♥ we were liars by e. lockhart. if i had to choose a fave it'd be that one. i sobbed for days after reading it. i think it kinda did smthn to my soul

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!♥ i do not sadly :

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?♥ my mum, i think ?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?♥ oof, when harley was still here. it was a nice day, the sun was shining through my window, birds singing, EDEN playing softly, and harley was all cuddled up on my chest with his head tucked under my chin, purring away.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?♥ depends. i try to evenly listen to my instincts and to logic

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.♥ my friend used to make a lot of bone puns bc of undertale and sans and one of my faves is "wasn't that HUMERUS"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?♥ SEAFOOD it's grrrrrrrrrrroooooooosssss

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?♥ death. and yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?♥ haven't bought many of those, i mostly listen to spotify :0 i did get the vinyl of black parade that mcr was giving out for the anniversary !

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?♥ crystals ig? pokemon cards, pens, books. uhh. i have a lot of paper and notebooks lmao

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?♥ mm. good times by all time low.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?♥ uhh idk i like all of em

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?♥ heathers is epic and i love christian slater but also his voice is hilarious, beetlejuice was good and amazingly weird, and i've no seen the other two yet.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?♥ HHH. the other day my mum's friend was talking abt how she's having problems with renters and she looked like she was gonna cry but it was more frustration than anything so idk?

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?♥ man idk it's prob somethin big but i don't remember

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?♥ ? idk. it depends ig?? like for my one friend i love that he loves animals, for my other i love that she loves music. for one i love her kindness and outward innocence and i find it hilarious when she actually shows her angry or sassy side.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?♥ god i love bohemian rhapsody. so good. so catchy. the best. me and my former bff used to sing it all the time

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?♥ mmmm idk :0

59: what’s your favorite myth?♥ i love myths abt creatures! my faves are about the fae folk.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?♥ idk :0

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?♥ uhh just a basic gift card ig. and uhm idk?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?♥ mm if i have juice i'll drink it!

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?♥ i try to keep them organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?♥ it's getting late and it's kinda cloudy and grey

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?♥ yeaa.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?♥ mmm idk! maybe lots of purple and light blues? :0

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?♥ bad. i've always been nervous with storms and whatnot and those kinda days just make me jittery.

68: what’s winter like where you live?♥ well for a while it actually is winter and gets cold. but it's florida so ofc it goes back to being hot af.

69: what are your favorite board games?♥ i've always been fond of sorry sliders and candy land

70: have you ever used a ouija board?♥ NO AND I NEVER WILL. my mum and aunts did once and HHHHHHHH they ended up with a possessed barney doll

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?♥ earl grey ! i really wanna try lavender tea tho

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?♥ yea but i don't often actually do it

73: what are some of your worst habits?♥ i sleep and procrastinate too much but i'm trying, i pick at threads a lot hhh,

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.♥ ok uhh. they remind me of a canary bird. i associate them with yellow and pink. they're super sweet. always helpful. sad and i wish i could help them more. all in all a v good friend and v good person.

75: tell us about your pets!♥ OOF OK GET READY. syd: sydney, my man. the big orange floof. meathead. he likes to stand up and hold onto your shirt or pants and it's cute but also CLAWS. v smart, knows that if he annoys me enough i'll open my door for him. maggie: pretty pretty princess. also the grossest princess. beaut white, brown capped fur and green gold eyes and cutest lil meows. bean: has two thumbs, one is teensy tiny. meows are like inaudible. usually grumpy and will run if you pet her. only accepts affection when she's sleepy. sebastian: the real grumpy cat. russian blue boy. has a hard time jumping correctly now cos he's old. always talking and complaining. likes pets. will fight you. ash: scaredy boi. dark as night. murrs instead of meows bc he wasn't raised by other cats. rarely purrs but you know he loves you. likes head bumps. will scratch you if you're not paying attention to him. can be a bully. arrow: FAT. has scabs bc he keeps scratching himself,, why boi why (we think he's allergic to smthn). meows LOUDLY. eats everyone's food. likes to go outside. once got stuck in the same tree twice. shelby: old girl. jack russel. super hyper but also LAZY. only sleeps under blankets. gets jealous. will force her way onto your lap. the smelliest dog in existence i swear. emmy: chihuahua. grumpyyyy old lady. always telling people to shut up (mostly shelby). cute tho. has seizures sometimes. will purposefully use the bathroom on the floor where you'll step or on something of yours if you upset her. moriarty: my snek! good boy. likes to be under his paper towels. smol. has a cute face. percy: GRUMPY leopard gecko. she's a blizzard morph and she looks purple. so grumpy aaaaaaaaah. red: my betta girl. the other girls with her (blue and esme) died. she comes up to the glass to say hi to you. oscar the grouch: hedgehog. SO GRUMP. he literally turned his entire house around so you can't see him. rude. lillith, yuki, and star: ferrets. inseperable. good little catsnakes who i love. yuki has a thing for feet and shoes. star messes with the dogs/cats by nipping them. lillith is good but bites a bit hard. the chickens: we named them after the avengers. cap can die. literally she hates me and my mum she tries to fight us. RUDE.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?♥ yes. schoolwork

77: pink or yellow lemonade?♥ i like both !

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?♥ uhh hate club ig? idrk?????

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?♥ mmmMM my former bff used to be very supportive of my clinginess and she would be talking and i could just like hold my hands out to her or hug her and she'd be totally ok with it and not even pause talking. the best thing ever tbh

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?♥ two walls are light grey and the other two are a slightly darker grey! i chose it :> i wanted a good neutral color besides beige or white.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.♥ mmm. like the sun shining through the branches of the trees.

82: are/were you good in school?♥ i mean?? ig? i get ok grades (mostly Bs) but i always procrastinate assignments cos i'm lazy and unmotivated

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?♥ ooohh my fave is from life starts now by three days grace. i actually made it my theme once on chrome

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?♥ yea! i wanna get a lot of space related ones! and maybe the chip number of my boy harley

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?♥ mm. i read webcomics! a fave of mine is stutterhug by samantha davies on taptastic :>

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?♥ uhhhhhhh i don't know any off the top of my head and i looked it up and it says american idiot by green day is one and i love them so? yeah

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?♥ THE CROW. and the last unicorn!! both so good

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?♥ i've always been fond of symbolism

89: are you close to your parents?♥ i'm close to my mum! not so much my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.♥ woodsboro, maryland! that's where my aunts and cousins live. i love going up there!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?♥ idk! my mum did bring up going somewhere this year tho

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?♥ barely even a pinch. unless it's spaghetti and that powdery parmesan cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?♥ wellll we shaved the sides and back so it's just long at the top and flipped sideways

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?♥ ? it was my mum's boss's birthday a few days ago :0 we all had lunch together and she asked me what name she should call me by. i love her tbh

95: what are your plans for this weekend?♥ hopefully i can go see the puppies !!!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?♥ procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?♥ infp, leo but i relate more to my scorpio chart, and hufflepuff!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?♥ i've never actually been hiking!! and tbh i enjoy pretty much anything long as i'm with someone i like!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.♥ jupiter by EDEN, leech boy by crywank, lost//found by EDEN, boats & birds by gregory and the hawk, and saturn by sleeping at last. a lot of others too ahh

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?♥ five years in the past. i could fix a lot of things that happened.

[jaeminlore]

enemies to lovers!jonghyun

a/n: for razzle dazzle anon!

i don’t talk about shinee that much but they’re my second bias group they mean the absolute world to me

and this one is for the softest boy in the world i love him so so much

anyway let’s get to the rivalry

wedding planner!jonghyun is known throughout all south korea as the best in the world

everyone wants him to plan their weddings, from idols to comedians to actors to politicians: there isn’t anyone on earth who doesn’t want jonghyun as their wedding planner

he’s just that good like he knows which colors go together he knows which caterers are best he knows the best deejays

there’s nothing he can’t do especially with florist!jinki and cake designer!taemin by his side, not to mention dress designer!kibum and mixologist!minho always ready to help for a discounted price

which the clientele obviously don’t know about

the boys work for other wedding designers too, as well as different events that their job calls for

so most of them are in the know when it comes to who is who in the event planning business esp kibum

actually it’s just kibum

you’re a wedding planner from your own country, but because of your amazing skills you’ve been invited to korea to help plan a wedding for this super famous actress who is getting married

and jonghyun thought he was a shoo in for that job so he’s a bit ??? when the news comes out that the “best wedding planner in the world” had been booked

because tbh he thought that was him

taemin in the bg: no no ur just the most famous in korea,,, there’s a difference

anyway jonghyun is mad bc you’ve essentially stomped onto his turf and are now taking his very rich clientele like it’s not going to slide

so he finds your number and calls you up

“y/n’s wedding event service, what can i help you with?”

and jonghyun is like cut the speil lady i know you’re out for my title

nd you’re just what title? who are you??

this did offend jonghyun that you somehow didn’t know his voice over the phone so he dramatically replies “this is jonghyun obv,,, the best wedding planner in the world”

but you must not notice the hostility in his voice bc you reply, “dude i love you! you’re like my hero when it comes to weddings,,, all my weddings are inspired by you”

jonghyun kind of wants to be flattered bc no one has ever told him smth like that before and also your words made his heart race with joy but he’s going to keep his cool and still play the “i hate you” card

“so it wasn’t enough to steal my ideas, now you have to steal my clients?”

nd you’re like wtf is wrong w you dude it’s just a wedding and you think about being civil with him since you look up to him but now you want to bite back with the same venom he shot at you

“maybe if you’d make your rates a bit more affordable, people would have the money to choose you over me”

“my prices are reasonable!”

“maybe to politicians and millionaires?? but people with basic income do not want to spend the amount of money you charge to have a wedding... esp if they’re trying to save money”

jonghyun feels INSULTED and ASHAMED bc he thought his prices were pretty good

“my prices are some of the lowest rates in south korea”

“well it looks like you’ve got a bunch of greedy wedding planners then bc you charge almost double what i charge in my country,,, that’s why they asked for me instead.”

jonghyun isn’t sure he can change his prices like the last thing he wants to do is make his clients broke but he also doesn’t want people to think he’s cheap

he almost wants to ask you how you do it: stay afloat at low prices and still able to pay rent

but he’s still angry and annoyed w you so he resists and hangs up on you, not feeling up to talking to you

so after that you sort hate jonghyun too like why did he have to be so rude to you??

but fast forward to a few days before the wedding and your florist cancelled???? and you have no idea what to do bc the whole theme of this wedding was floral paradise and you can’t have floral paradise without the floral

and you have no idea what you’re doing like you can’t find another florist this late in the game that will agree to give you a ton of flowers on short notice

they’d have to work overtime and it’d be such a chore and you feel at such a loss

your first overseas wedding and you were so excited bc your work would finally be in the news and more people might ask for you by name

all that work down the drain bc a florist who quit for unknown reason

you feel like crying and for some reason you pick up your phone and call jonghyun

yeah you sort of hate him but he’s also a fellow wedding planner and he’s the closest one you can go to right now who probably has advice

and it’s late when you call so his voice is super groggy and low “hello?”

you’re shaking like your anxiety is to the max and “jonghyun? it’s y/n and —”

“are you crying?” his voice is v soft and sweet like suddenly he doesn’t sound so mean

“it’s just that my florist cancelled on me and the wedding is in two days! how am i supposed to find a florist who will give me a whole truck load of flowers in two days?? the theme is based around flowers and if i fail this one no one is ever going to trust me again i’ll be known as a failure and an untrustworthy planner”

and jonghyun just kind of shushes you like “look you’re really tired and worried, but you need sleep okay? get some rest and meet me at the park on maple at around eight o'clock”

he doesn’t really give you time to agree but for some reason his words calm you, and you think jonghyun might actually help you

the next morning you grab all your planning stuff and head over to the park, hoping that jonghyun didn’t send you on a wild goose hunt just for fun.

when you finally spot him, he’s sitting around with four other guys and like five or six dogs running around and chasing each other

when you see jonghyun you lowkey gasp like wow he’s v handsome irl too bad he’s so rude to me

but then he smiles and walks up to you, looking sort of nervous “hey, um, these are my friends. jinki here is a florist and if you want, we can all pitch in and get the decorations ready for the wedding using the flowers he has”

you genuinely don’t know what to say like you sort of thought jonghyun was just going to make a laughing stock of you but he hasn’t

“aren’t you going to tell me that you’re a better planner than me?”

jonghyun shrugs “i mean, i am, but as a planner i know that it’s important that every wedding goes off without a hitch. i will push away my feelings for the good of the wedding”

it’s not the apology you wanted but you have more important things to worry abt so you’re like great!!! let’s go!!!

and turns out jinki is super sweet and owns this really small flower shop and it’s filled with a bunch of pretty arrangements and stuff

and he was more than ready to give you a helping hand

you gave him all the blueprints and drawings you had ready and jinki was like !!!! i can do this !!!!

and he shows you all of the flowers he has and all the different ways he can arrange them

so you two plan centerpeices and aisle markers and stuff

once you’re satisfied you show it to the other boys and everyone gets to work replicating all the pieces

and you’ve also got to make your own banners like you have to find siLK

and kibum is like dndnsnnsks well i have a ton in my office i’ve got eggshell and pearl and cream and lavender and rose and —

jonghyun cuts him off like we’re on a schedule buddy!!!

so jonghyun decides to take you to kibum’s house since he needs to drop all the puppers off anyways

they’re a bit of a distraction at the flower shop since taemin and kibum can’t seem to leave them alone

and when you arrive you see the pearl colored silk and immediately know it’ll go with the flowers

so you grab it and drape it across the edges of kibum’s desk “so imagine this is the aisle and it dips between each pew with a lil bouquet matching the bride is holding it up”

and as you’re talking you get this huge smile on your face and jonghyun begins to feel bad for being so rude to you over the phone bc

rlly you’re just like him: someone who wants to make others happy

and you both only have the bride and groom’s best interests at heart

it shouldn’t matter who is planning the wedding as long as the couple is happy

but jonghyun keeps this all to himself like he has some pride yknow

he helps you cut the silk and fold it neatly so that it doesn’t get messed up on the way back

and when you guys arrive everyone is amazed bc the colors look rlly beautiful together like all the boys are lowkey getting emo

esp jonghyun he always gets really emotional when he helps w a wedding bc he kind of dreams of his own and he can’t wait for it to be perfect and beautiful and amazing

most importantly he can’t wait to have someone by his side who makes him forget the beauty of flower arrangements and dresses and cakes

anyway so it takes well into the night before all the arrangements are finished

and the boys are already planning on helping you place them in the church and reception hall the next day bc you’re on a time punch and this was all the florists’ job

so they come over and everyone gets started on a different section of the church

jinki tells you and jonghyun to go to the reception hall and set up the centerpieces and everything

jinki lowkey ships the two of you okay

at the reception hall you both just set up the flowers and hope everything will be done before the rehearsal dinner that night, or else you’ll have to tell the bride that she lost her florist

you’re hoping she’ll never find out abt your screw up

when you guys are done you just sit and breathe bc …. finally ….. it’s over and you can rest

jonghyun is sort of close to you like his arm keeps brushing against your shoulder and you catch him more than once stealing glances at you

“thank you,” you say, bc you can’t really put into words how much his help means to you

he nods, “yeah, i guess when the couple books a sucky wedding planner, a mistake like this is expected”

you think he’s being legit and turn your head, almost sad that he still hates you

but he’s smiling at you, a teasing glint in his eye

you push him like dude that wasn’t cool i’m still on edge

but jonghyun keeps talking like “yknow, since i saved the day, it’s rlly only fair that you take me to the wedding as your plus one. that way i can make sure you don’t screw anything else up”

you glance at him again, and notice his ears have turned a bit red “you mean as a date? are you asking me to ask you on a date?”

“no,” he scoffs, “i’m telling you that you should repay me by making me your plus one”

“but essentially you want to date me”

“no i don’t,” he says, but he’s smiling and you find yourself unable to keep your own grin back 

“fine then. jonghyun, do you want to be my plus one to the wedding? i’d really love it if you were my date.”

jonghyun is lowkey super happy that you’ve agreed and reaches for your hand like “well if you insist”

it’s all kind of history from there

let’s just say you’ll have to be planning another wedding soon

;)

jk jk

the end

[kitjoy]

This could be fun or extremely sad

1: Name: Jess 2: Age: 17 3: 3 Fears: Wasps, Small spaces and idk 4: 3 things I love: My dogs, My cats and movies 5: 4 turns on: Hair pulling, Dry humping, Kissed against a wall, Moaning lol 6: 4 turns off: Dirty Talk (not a big fan), Feet, Cockiness, Guys who STOP TALKING TO YOU STRAIGHT AFTER YOU GOT OFF WITH THEM  7: My best friend: Meg and Emily  8: Sexual orientation: Um probs like Bi or something but 90% attracted to boys 9: My best first date: Aint had one tbh 10: How tall am I: 5′5 11: What do I miss: Not having responsibilities  12: What time were I born:  3pm 13: Favorite color: Yellow 14: Do I have a crush: Nah 15: Favorite quote:  A lot of movie quotes 16: Favorite place: Home 17: Favorite food: Italian food 18: Do I use sarcasm: No(!) 19: What am I listening to right now: Hold on- SE22 Mix 20: First thing I notice in new person: Usually mouth or eyes 21: Shoe size: 7 22: Eye color: Hazel 23: Hair color: Naturally Blonde/Brown but Grey atm 24: Favorite style of clothing: Oversized jackets are my shit 25: Ever done a prank call?: Yeah when I was like 12 27: Meaning behind my URL: Just liked the sound of it 28: Favorite movie:  Die Hard 29: Favorite song:  Changes all the time 30: Favorite band: ^ 31: How I feel right now:  Eh 32: Someone I love: My Momther 33: My current relationship status:  Singleeee (and have been for abt 4 yrs??) 34: My relationship with my parents:  Ok I guess 35: Favorite holiday:  Either Halloween or Christmas 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: Arrow of my hip, Something to do with my zodiac of my ankle, Ears pierced 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: A drawing my mum did when she was my age (The dragon on a The Clash CD cover) 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Don’t remember 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?:  Barely remember him tbh 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: Nope 41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Nah 42: When did I last hold hands?  Agesss ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?  Depends if im late or not 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?  No but I need to goddamn 45: Where am I right now? My bedroom (as always) 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Myself I’m pretty responsible when drunk imo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Fuckin loud hell yeah 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yep 49: Am I excited for anything? V festival and a J Cole concert I’m going to :DD 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? FUCK no 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Not so much nowadays 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Last weekend 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Wouldn’t care lmao 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Yup 55: What is something I disliked about today? Nothing yet but it’s still early 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Ri Ri or Chance the Rapper I lov them 57: What do I think about most?: Probs my future 58: What’s my strangest talent?:  Can crack almost every joint in my body 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Nah I think they’re all valid 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind 61: What was the last lie I told?: That I didn’t have weed on me lol 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Who even talks on the phone anymore 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Yes to ghosts, idk to aliens 64: Do I believe in magic?: Nah 65: Do I believe in luck?: Not really 66: What’s the weather like right now?: Sunny but windy 67: What was the last book I’ve read?: 1984 (and still haven’t finished it) 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: Only when I have a full tank in my car  69: Do I have any nicknames?:  Used to be called Jep 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?:  Ripped my toenail half off once (: 71: Do I spend money or save it?: Try to save it 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: Yeah 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: Yeah my candle jar 74: Favorite animal?: Hmm dogs and cats are cool but I love leopards 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Playing Sims 4 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?:  Probably Trump or something 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Freedom By George Michael 78: How can you win my heart?: Be attentive to me and don’t be fake  79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: Baddest bitch there ever was 80: What is my favorite word?: Goiym 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr:  Don’t really have a top 5 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Waddup wanna hang? 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?:  Apparently I do I found out recently 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Either invisibility bc I’m a nosy bitch or levitation 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: How are you feeling? 86: What is my current desktop picture? Deadpool 87: Had sex?: Nah 88: Bought condoms?: Nope 89: Gotten pregnant?: No 90: Failed a class?: not yet luckily 91: Kissed a boy?: Yah 92: Kissed a girl?: Yah 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Nope 94: Had job?: Yep 95: Left the house without my wallet?: I do it all the time 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: No way 97: Had sex in public?: Nope 98: Played on a sports team?: Does a school team count 99: Smoked weed?: Hell yeah 100: Did drugs?: Only weed 101: Smoked cigarettes?: Yeah 102: Drank alcohol?: Ofc 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: No way couldn’t like without bacon 104: Been overweight?: Nope 105: Been underweight?: Yeah but that’s just my body type 106: Been to a wedding?: Yep 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Literally everyday :/ 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: Probs when I was younger 109: Been outside my home country?: Yah 110: Gotten my heart broken?: No 111: Been to a professional sports game? Don’t think so 112: Broken a bone?: Luckily no 113: Cut myself?: Yup 114: Been to prom?: Yeah 115: Been in airplane?: Yeah 116: Fly by helicopter?: No I wish 117: What concerts have I been to?: Olly Murs and JLS concert (I’m cool), and V festival 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Nope not yet 119: Learned another language?:  I’m ok at German I guess 120: Wore make up?: Yep 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Not yet but I’m working on it lmao 122: Had oral sex?: Nah 123: Dyed my hair?:  Multiple times 124: Voted in a presidential election?: No 125: Rode in an ambulance?: No 126: Had a surgery?: Yep 127: Met someone famous?: Nah 128: Stalked someone on a social network?:  Who hasn’t 129: Peed outside?: Yah :/ 130: Been fishing?: Yeah 131: Helped with charity?: Yes 132: Been rejected by a crush?: Not directly 133: Broken a mirror?: Nope 134: What do I want for birthday?: Erm probably like money or a sick 18th party when I can then drink (legally)

[avpdalec-blog]

answer ALL of the questions. all of them

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

... what is there not to like abt him? he’s hot as fuck, he’s incredible, he’s intelligent, he’s creative, he’s caring, he’s supportive, he’s understanding... like? honestly what is there not to love? he’s my angel !!!

02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?

everything abt me bothers me BUT nothing is hurting in particular

03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?

probably that i missed my boyfriend/you even tho he/you was/were literally on call right next to me

04: what are you listening to?

I.S.W.M.U.O.M.W.N by nicole dollanganger

05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?

having to go for job interviews (when i finally hear back from the jobs i’ve applied for that is)

06: where do you think your best friend is right now?

p sure he’s (you) in his room ?? talking to me on skype?? ;-)

07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?

no

08: favorite song?

right now, my favourite songs are  I.S.W.M.U.O.M.W.N by nicole dollanganger, nitesky by robot koch, and all the king’s horses by karmina

09: kiss on the first date?

too awkward for that

10: is there one person you want to be with right now?

yes :-( always

11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?

not really, no, since university didn’t work out for the second time, i’m in debt, and i don’t have a job. the only thing i’m happy w is my boyfriend/you ♡♡♡ everything else is p much a shitshow

12: is there something you would like to say to someone?

aside from, to my boyfriend/you, that i love him/you more than life itself, no

13: what are three things you did today?

slept, ate, drank

14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?

both? idk like having someone over makes me feel more comfortable bc i’m at home and Safety, but i also like getting away from my family/my house some times

15: what is your favorite kind of gum?

spearmint

16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/girlfriends?

lol no

17: what is on your wrists right now?

nothing on my left, hair ties on my right

18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?

yeah and somehow i ended up dating him ??  and meeting him irl ????? wtf ?????

19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?

i think so ahaha :-)

20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?

*everyone

21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?

yeah

22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?

no

23: how have you felt today?

relatively ok? my mood has been flip-flopping a lot the past week or so bc pms and that good ol’ depression but generally today i’ve been ok :-)

24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?

i’d put it towards my plane tickets for august to see my boyfriend/you

25: what is wrong with you right now?

i need to pee but i can’t be bothered to move 

26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?

my family tbh

27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?

jamba juice (i had to look it up but i love fruit smoothies so !!)

28: why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?

idk it wasn’t much of a healthy relationship and in the end the effort was all one-sided (*coughiwasputtinginalltheeffortcough*) ... plus we were both assholes post-break-up and the damage is done but Oh Well thanks to all that i found someone waaaaaaaay better :-)

29: how late did you stay up last night and why?

until, like, half 3/4 in the morning? bc i was watching shadowhunters and hemlock grove with my boyfriend/you ;-)

30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

like, two seconds ago pffd

31: what were you doing an hour ago?

probably packaging up my boyfriend’s/your valentine’s day gifts so i can send them tomorrow

32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?

aside from mine and my boyfriend’s/your 6 month anniversary on the 12th (6 months aaaaa !!!!), nothing rlly

33: are you wearing jeans right now?

yup

34: are you a patient person?

kind of depends? generally no

35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?

well i’ve been in my current relationship for almost 6 months so yeah

36: favorite color?

egg-shell blue, forest green, and grey

37: did you have a dream last night?

probably, and knowing my dreams it was weird as fuck

38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

jeans

39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?

yeah my boyfriend/you :-(((((( it’s my constant mood

40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?

my boyfriend/you !!!

41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?

nothing bc i’m already v taken by someone else and also just don’t talk to me pffd

42: do you like meeting new people?

lol no way - not irl anyway

43: are you afraid of falling in love?

i was but not anymore

44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?

that escalated quickly out of nowhere

45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

yep !!

46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?

i literally have avpd

[assholemurphy]

so, i’m dying.

lol, not rly. except, yeah, kinda.

my gallbladder has finally fucked itself into a coma and only wakes up to force me to projectile vomit myself into oblivion whenever i consume solids. and on occasions, liquids, if it’s rly cranky. that’s my life now.

i have managed to eat 2 hot pockets, some chips, abt 8 jalepeno poppers, and three eggrolls (and keep them down) in the past 2 weeks. all that i’ve been able to keep down has happened in the past 24hrs. i’m not sure how i managed it, tbh, but it wasn’t without a fight. other than that, i have not digested anything but liquids in the past 2 weeks. i cannot think straight, i can barely form words in my head, let alone say them out loud. this is not fun and i don’t like it. it was one thing to choose not to eat (tho, rly, with an ed, it wasn’t exactly a choice, ya feel?) and to choose to purge, but now that i have no choice at all, i’m so fucking pissed off. like, part of me is happy bc i’ve lost 5lbs already, even with being bloated from constant puking, but like, more of me just wants to survive so i can work on my goddamn finals. which are all due this week. and none of them are done. (except the one that was due last week, managed to do that one, luckily).

pretty boy took me to the er on sun night bc i can’t keep anything down and it’s only gotten worse since they released me. we got there right as the docs were changing shifts, so the first doc was rly narcissistic and full of himself and the second he heard me say ‘i’ve got atypical anorexia b/p subtype’ he was like, ‘ah, yes, it’s all in your head, this is your fault’ which even made pb annoyed bc he apparently can tell the difference between what’s currently going on and my (his words, not mine) ‘crash diets’. but he was p sure the doc didn’t like me bc i called my primary doc (who was supposed to get me scheduled for an ultrasound to get this taken care of almost 2 months ago but didn’t bc he didn’t believe me when i said (having opinions from 2 previous docs) i had gallbladder issues, so he ignored it) an idiot for, ya know, ignoring me when i told him something was wrong. but docs are assholes, they don’t like it when you’re right abt something they can’t see themselves. so i’m switching primary docs asap. this guy’s a fucking joke.

(it’s also been almost three weeks since the pharmacy faxed him paperwork abt the insurance company not wanting to pay for my adderall prescript bc i take 3 pills a day and they only wanna pay for 90 in 75 days (yeah, not even 2 pills a day, like this shit doesn’t work for five hours max). he still hasn’t filled it out. it’s fucking finals week and i’ve got maybe 6 pills left. how fucking grand. so that’s gotta be sorted at the same time he gets me a surgeon’s appt.)

so the guy had me pee in a cup and gave me fluids/anti nausea meds (which were nice, helped me keep down a bit of food sun night). then he basically told me ‘it’s just cyclic vomiting, you’ve just got to break the cycle’ but he was leaving so he was going to let the next guy discharge me. thank fucking god, bc otherwise, i’d probably be dead in a couple weeks.

so this next guy is eccentric af, this whole hospital is a circus, it’s fucking great (no sarcasm, i love quirky ppl). he checks out my cup of pee and orders some blood tests (that the other guy didn’t even care to do), then he comes in and talks to me and he’s fucking great, a+ doctoring, love this guy, sadly, he doesn’t have a private practice, but apparently the nurses get asked if he does all the time. how do i know? my mother asked, bc she liked him. i trusted him. i trust no docs, ever. but this one is good. he says there’s def something wrong, def not just my ed, and orders me an ultrasound for the next morning. good, great, getting this show on the road. he understands my concerns abt my primary doc and offers to explain the results of the ultrasound to my mother via phone mon night. so she calls, he tells her i’ve got ‘sludge and wall thickening’ which are Bad(tm) esp in combination with me not being able to eat anything for over a week and a half.

so, now i’ve got to talk to a surgeon and get my gallbladder removed. as i fucking figured i’d need months ago (during the summer, with my pain and stuff). now this vomiting thing has been happening at least once a semester for abt 2 years now. no one has known what is wrong. ‘it’s acid reflux, take these pills’ ‘these pills don’t work’ ‘welp, idk ^.^’ and so forth for 2. fucking. years. now i’ve got confirmation that my gallbladder is bad. like ‘could explode and kill me’ bad. this is great, i can finally get something done abt this.

except.

except it’s finals week and no only am i running v low on adderall (i just took a pill for the first time since fri morning just a few hours ago) and i’m now fatigued and unable to eat with 4 projects left to do. all of which require a fuckton of concentration. concentration i just don’t have even with the adderall bc i haven’t actually eaten much food lately and can’t fucking think at all. like, every time i eat, it comes right back up.

so, i’ve been sleeping a lot. great, right? except for ya know, all the work i’ve got? nope. i can’t sleep for longer than 4 hours without having night terrors. like BAD ones. i’d tell you abt the one i had when i slept last (from 5:30p to 8:30p) but it would require a whole host of trigger warnings just to give a summary. but it fucked me up badly. and they’ve been getting progressively worse. i dreamed my dog died. i dreamed my apartment was possessed and the demon was trying to kill me. i’ve dreamed of animal abuse and murder and even worse things that leave me fucking shaking when i wake up. but i’m so tired that i keep falling asleep anyway, no matter how scared i am. and i stay asleep, until my alarm goes off, then i shut it off and fall asleep again (into a different night terror). there is no stopping this. my body is dying and it’s telling my brain i’m in danger so my brain is trying to scare me. it’s working. i’m well aware i’m in danger but there’s nothing i can do until my mom sets up a surgeon’s appt for me. i’ve got to remind her to do that tomorrow. i’d do it myself, but i’m far to fucking out of it currently to talk to a medical professional in any capacity.

but throughout all of this, i’m falling further and further behind on my final projects. i’ve got a 10min play analysis due tomorrow at 10:30a (which i’ve got to work on tonight). then i’ve got to finish my stagecraft project (which requires that i go to the shop 3 more times so i’ve got to do that at like 11a tomorrow, then 12p thurs, then like 7p thurs, but i’ve got to find a shop employee to go with me, apparently, and i’d take goldilocks, but she obvs doesn’t want to do it, so i might ask pb or mary, if i have to). then i’ve got to do my monologue assignments for acting i (i’ve got one almost fully memorized, i just need to refresh, but i’ve got to memorize another one, read the play it’s from (i’ve got to buy the ebook), and do an analysis over it before thurs at 10:30a). then my intro to theatre final is due last, but it’s p big and i’ve got to do a lot for it. like 7pg paper plus a ‘previous action’ script (i’ve got to write up a script showing what happened before the play itself starts). i’ve got a SHITTON of work to do and only 9 hours for the sa final, then 24 hrs for the acting i final, then 26 hrs for the itt final, and somehow i’ve got to find at least 3 hours for my sc final. all while trying to get sleep and not eating anything.

plus i’ve still got to do some loan stuff with finaid this week.

i emailed my profs telling them what’s going on, but they’re not going to accept any late finals, so idk why i bothered. (i haven’t heard back bc i just emailed them like, an hour ago and it’s 1a). i CANNOT fuck up this semester bc i won’t get finaid anymore if i do and i can’t drop out. so like, i’ve got to get everything together, but i’m just so fucking sick and everything is overwhelming. i’m going to do my damnedest to get everything done, but idk if i’ll be able to. i rly don’t know.

i’m so fucking stressed over this shit, which is only making my gallbladder issues worse, so it’s a losing battle all around and i’m drowning. honestly, if i had the money, i’d pay for someone to do this for me, but i can’t and i wouldn’t anyway bc like, i’m not putting my name on anything i didn’t do myself out of some bullshit pride thing i’ve got going on. my pride’s gonna get me killed one day, i just know it.

but, tonight, i’m gonna work on my script analysis final and pray to god i can get it done in time. i’ve got like 2 hours left on my adderall, maybe 3 if i push it. i need to make a plan of attack for everything and get to work.

i’m not going to fail this semester if it fucking kills me. and it actually might.