#goodnight elisabeth

[kronprinz-rudolf]

Egidijus Bavikinas as Der Tod/Mirtis Jurgis Jarašius as Rudolf

[uploaded with master's permission, do not repost]

[lucyrose191]

BROKEN DECISIONS: HEALING| T.WOLFF

Pairing; Toto Wolff x fem!Schumacher!reader

Summary; You had learned to channel the pain from Toto’s actions into the need to protect and love your child. You were healing but will that be affected by Toto finding out the reason you suddenly disappeared?

Warnings; Age gap mentioned but not specified. Fluff.

Author’s Note; I know I said I’d post a Seb fic before this but this was so much easier to write and I had a lot more motivation for this. Possibly a part 3 if you want.

F1 Master List, Part 1

September 2024

The pain that had consumed you so overwhelmingly all those months ago had seemingly disappeared as you stared down at your daughter who lay in your lap, eyes closed as she slept peacefully, subtle puffs of air released as her chest raised every few seconds.

The thick tufts of bright white hair that sprouted from her head marked that little Alina Elisabeth was most certainly a Schumacher.

Maybe you should feel guilty for the relief that settled in you at the lack of resemblance she shared with her father but the love you felt in your heart as you stared down at the person you cared the most for in this world shrouded any negative emotion you could possibly feel.

The loneliness you had felt was also no longer lingering in your chest, your family had been your rock since the moment you arrived in Switzerland, your mother especially. Mick ensured her was there for you too, even though he was busy with the world endurance racing, he made sure he called frequently and tried to visit when he could.

You sent him a photo of his new niece as soon as you could after giving birth to her and he was already besotted and excited to meet her.

The pain from birthing her had also long been forgotten, unlike the memory of holding her for the first time.

It was hard to describe the rush of emotions that were bursting beneath your skin. You would go to hell and back again if just to experience this for the rest of your life, to continue living in this bubble of warmth and completion.

There was the slightest bit of lingering sadness towards the knowledge that Toto hadn’t been by your side yesterday and witnessing his daughter being brought into the world, maybe it was even unfair that he had been robbed of that opportunity but then you remembered how you had tried to tell him the news of your pregnancy before you left and how he refused to listen.

You weren’t going to beg and plead for him to listen to what you had to say, no matter what there news was.

You had a lot more respect for yourself than that.

It didn’t matter anyways, you didn’t need him and you’d ensure that Alina didn’t need him either. You have full confidence in your ability to raise her alone and give her the best life she could possibly have, a life that would provide her with opportunities others could only imagine having.

November 2024

Alina Elisabeth Schumacher was now two months old and each day it felt as though your love for her multiplied.

Even through the rough patches where you seemed lost in knowing what she needed or what was wrong, it didn’t deter you in the slightest. You had smiled more in the last two months than you had in the last ten years and it felt riveting.

Never would you have thought that a child could fill a gap in your life that you didn’t even know existed but here she is and your heart is full.

Your life felt whole and complete and you owed everything to her, to your little girl who had fixed your healing heart without even trying, just by simply existing.

Today was an important day, Mick was coming home after finishing the world endurance season, which he had performed amazingly in, and it was going to be his first time meeting his niece in person.

You had FaceTimed so much in the last few months, Mick hadn’t wanted to miss any part of his niece growing and so every night at around six he’d ring so that he could say goodnight to her, no matter what time is was where he was at.

Alina loved her uncle already.

It was around 2pm when you heard the front door open followed by the sound of bags dropping to the floor and Mick walking into the kitchen.

You didn’t waste any time in wrapping him into a hug. "Hey, how are you?"

Mick tucked his head into the crook of your neck and tightened his arms around you. "I’m great, it was amazing but how are you, are you okay?" He asked, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders as he looked you up and down.

You smiled at him in pure happiness. "I’m amazing, she’s amazing. Come and see her," you told him and grabbed his hand, pulling him upstairs to your room.

Alina was napping which is all she ever did at her young age but you didn’t care if she woke up because the look of awe on Mick’s face as he set his eyes upon her would make it worth it.

"She’s tiny," he whispered, reaching a finger inside the cot and smiling as she wrapped her fist around it. "She looked so much bigger over the phone, she’s beautiful, Y/N, really." He looked up at you and smiled.

"That’s because she takes after me," you smirked and he rolled his eyes, slowly pulling his hand away before turning to you.

"Do Mum and Gina know?" He asked.

You didn’t need him to emphasise, you both knew what he meant, the unspoken topic that neither of you brought up throughout your entire pregnancy and even after.

"No," you replied honestly, swallowing uncomfortably.

"Y/N-" he sighed.

"Don’t," you cut him off. "He didn’t want to know, Mick. He didn’t care and I’m not going to beg him to."

The sympathetic look he gave you in response to the defeated words you spoke filled you with the need to cry but you didn’t.

You simply stood there for a moment before sighing. "I think I’m going to quit."

Mick gave you a look of horror. "What!?" He whisper shouted. "You can’t, you’ve been with Mercedes for nearly a decade!"

You shrugged. "I don’t want to work for him anymore, not when he is adamant on acting as though he didn’t give me the wrong impression, as though I don’t have his daughter at home who he doesn’t know about because he didn’t care enough for me to tell him."

He didn’t say anything, knowing that your point was completely reasonable. He just hoped this didn’t ruin everything you had worked for.

December 2024

You walked side by side with Mick through the pits of the Yas Marina circuit in Abu Dhabi, drawing quite a bit of attention to yourselves, not only because this is the first glimpse anyone has seen of you all year but because of the three month old you held in your arms.

You walked into the Mercedes garage as though you weren’t about to reveal why you hadn’t participated in this season, pretending you didn’t notice how everyone paused what they were doing to stare as soon as you crossed the threshold.

Their stares burned into your skin but none more than Toto’s, you felt the trail his eyes left across your entire body and the way they settled on the sleeping baby in your arms.

You ignored the burning sensation he was leaving on your skin, instead focusing on the mechanics and other team members that were approaching to speak to you and introduce themselves to Alina.

It was around twenty minutes later before you were left alone, Mick took this opportunity to take Alina to go and show her off to anyone who would give him the time of day, you loved how much of a proud uncle he was.

"Can we talk?" His voice was low and gravelly in your ear as he spoke in a hushed whisper, startling you momentarily.

You scoffed and shook your head. "You weren’t up for talking in January, I’m not up for talking now."

"It’s important," he tried to reason and you laughed.

"What I wanted to say was important but you didn’t care, what was important to me wasn’t important to you. It’s not nice being on the receiving end of that, is it?"

You had hit the nail on the head with that one and by the stunned silence Toto was confined into, he knew that as well.

"Please, I know I don’t deserve it but can you please just come and have a civil conversation with me in my office," he pleaded, knowing that he really had no leg to stand on because he was the one that was completely in the wrong.

You wanted to make a comment about how poetic it was that he wanted to go and talk in his office, just how you did all those months ago and yet you had no luck but you didn’t.

You relented and agreed but that did not mean you were going to be easy on him.

You sighed and stood up from your seat, following him to his office.

You refused to speak first as he shut the door which resulted in a thick, heavy silence for a couple of minutes as you both stood there, Toto staring at you whilst your eyes strained on the ground.

"What happened in Abu Dhabi last year-" he started causing you to look up at him, not expecting him to even bring that up considering how certain he was to avoid it before.

"It wasn’t a mistake, I just- I spent two years fighting my feelings for you because you deserve so much more than I am. The baggage I come with- I’m divorced twice and I have kids and I’m so much older than you and you deserve so much more than to be with a man that comes with all that and can’t give you everything."

You stared at him blankly though you were surprised that he had supposedly felt something for you for an entire year before you noticed anything.

"I never thought of you as anything but my boss and a friend but then last year, the way you looked at me and the way you acted, I thought you liked me and it confused me, my mind was baffled the entire season but no matter what you caused me to feel, I fought against it but then with his forward you were in Abu Dhabi, you made me think you actually wanted me and even if you didn’t then that’s fine but what isn’t fine is leading me on with your stares and your touches and then leaving me alone in a hotel the moment I gave in and even after that when I tried to speak with you, you ignored me and dismissed me. Do you know how used and disgusted I felt?"

You knew the look of guilt on his face wasn’t fake but that didn’t change anything, his guilt was nothing compared to what he had put you through.

"I thought I was doing what was best for you," he replied defeated, knowing how pathetic he sounded and how weak his response was.

"I couldn’t look at myself without feeling the urge to throw up after the way you left me there and it was all down to your insecurities which are ridiculous by the way. I can’t believe you think I’d care about how many times you’ve been married or how many kids you have or how old you are, I only ever wanted someone who loved me and treated me right, you could’ve done that but the man that spoke to me in January, I’ve never seen you like that and that man is not someone I would ever be with."

"You didn’t deserve that," he replied in agreement. "I was overwhelmed by the guilt I felt for leaving you there and trying to ignore my feelings for you which I thought were wrong to be feeling but it is not an excuse for the way I spoke or dismissed you, it was wrong of me. I’m sorry."

"I know," you shrugged. "But I don’t forgive you, not right now at least."

Toto shook his head. "I’ll earn your forgiveness." He said confidently.

"Okay." You whispered.

The air between the two of you shifted as Toto looked at you apprehensively, shifting on his feet. "Your baby-" your heart thumped loudly in your chest. "Is she?" He asked, not needing to continue.

You weren’t going to deny the truth and so you replied honestly. "Yes, it’s what I tried telling you in January."

The look of anguish that appeared on his face was heartbreaking to see because you could tell he truly regretted his actions but it was simply the consequences of his decisions, he was still able to make up for it.

"What did you name her?" He asked quietly.

"Alina Elisabeth Schumacher, Elisabeth after my grandmother."

"You chose well…. Could I meet her?" He asked carefully, not wanting to overstep with you but of course you would allow him to see her, not only because your daughter deserved a chance to have a father but because you knew he was a good father and he would’ve been there had you been given the chance to tell him of her.

"I’ll go and get her." You told him, swiftly walking passed him and out of the door.

It was George that happening to be holding her as you re-entered the garage, the man looking up at you with a pleased smile. "Y/N! I’m happy your back, am I getting my beginner back next year?" He asked as he handed her over to you.

You smiled weakly and shrugged your shoulders. "I’m honestly not too sure yet, George but I’ll let you know."

"No worries," he waved you off. "She’s beautiful by the way."

You thanked him before turning away and heading back to Toto’s office.

Alina was wide awake now and her dark eyes were looking around curiously as you walked through the small corridor.

As soon as Toto’s eyes laid upon her you practically saw how he immediately fell in love with her, his eyes softened as they took in her features, probably trying to find anything that resembled himself.

"I think she has your eyes, but that’s about it," you commented lightly causing him to laugh.

He stepped forward and held his hand out for her, smiling and laughing as she reached out and grabbed his finger before shoving it into her mouth.

He looked at her in awe, as if he couldn’t believe she was a part of him. He reached out with his other hand and tickled her cheek with his finger causing her to gurgle around his hand.

"You can hold her," you told him, lifting her out towards him. He looked at you unsurely but you encouraged him with a nod and that was everything he needed to take her into his arms.

Alina threw away her grip on his hand as he held her and instead pressed both of her hands into his cheeks and pressed her face up against his causing you both to burst out into laughter which resulted in her copying you.

"She’s so small," he muttered almost to himself but you heard him.

"She didn’t feel it when I was pushing her out but she does look it," you joked but also serious, it had hurt like hell.

The mention of her birth spiked a sudden interest. "When was she born?" He asked.

"September 3rd, she was two weeks late, didn’t want to leave I suppose so I had to get induced."

He looked at you worried. "You didn’t do it alone, did you?"

You shook your head, "No, don’t worry, my mum was there with me."

"That’s good," he replied, pulling away from Alina’s grabby hands and instead brought her into a hug, resting the side of his head against hers.

God did he look good holding her.

Alina cooed and babbled as she lied her head on his shoulder and reached her hand up to grab his ear and pull on it.

The immediate connection between the two was impossible to miss and it was sad they had both missed out on this but you refused to let yourself feel guilty about it.

"Thank you for this," Toto’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. "I know I don’t deserve it."

You shook your head. "You deserve a relationship with her, no matter what I wouldn’t have kept her from you."

He smiled and tightened his hold on Alina, still struggling to believe she was really his.

He had four kids. Wow.

He did not want to think about how he was going to explain this one to them.

"We should probably go back out there, there’s still a race that’s about to start." You mentioned, hating to break him out of his bubble but he had priorities.

After much coercing, you managed to get him out of his office but he kept his hold on Alina, he didn’t think the team would suspect anything, they probably just thought he wanted to hold her but even if they did have suspicions, he didn’t care.

Everything felt right as he held her, now he just needed to make it up to you and he would do everything needed for you to forgive him because he wanted this, he wanted you and this family you had created, no matter how long it took.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

People who asked to be tagged or asked for a part 2:

@pear-1206 @luckyladycreator2 @urmotheris @lightdragonrayne @viennakarma @woozarts @carolloliveerr @nuggetvirgo @myescapefromthislife @minkyungseokie @oatmealandsugar @hc-dutch @arieltwvdtohamflash @grayxiu @bigsimperika @emilyval1 @eternalharry @msbyjackal

[best-yandere-tournament]

Also, potential list of the yandere characters under the read more!

1. Cutthroat from Akudama Drive

2. Belphegor (Obey Me)

3. Griffith (Berserk)

4. Mimimi, Hypnosis Mic

5. Zenos yae Galvus from Final Fantasy 14

6. Shion Sonozaki from Higurashi

7. Yandere-Chan from Carflo + co's Yandere High School Minecraft Roleplay series

8. Luo Binghe, Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

9. Monica Campanella, Baccano!

10. Creed, Black Cat

11. Seiko, Blood on the Tracks

12. Makima, Chainsaw Man

13. Mao, Code Geass

14. Mariko Shinobu, Dear Brother

15. Mika Harima, Durarara

16. Akito Sohma, Fruits Baskrt

17. Shigure Sohma, Fruits Basket

18. Yuno Gasai, Future Diary

19. Satou, Happy Sugar Life

20. Yukako Yamagishi, JJBA Diamond is Unbreakable

21. Himiko Toga, My Hero Academia

22. Haru, My Little Monster

23. Oz, Pandora Hearts

24. Kuroi, Thou Shalt Not Die

25. Seishirou, Tokyo Babylon

26. Kish, Tokyo Mew Mew

27. Asami, Audition

28. Lucille Sharpe, Crimson Peak

29. Alex Forrest, Fatal Attraction

30. Jareth, Labyrinth

31. Annie Wilkes, Misery

32. Evelyn Draper, Play Misty for Me

33. Charlie Stoker, Stoker

34. Nellie Lovett, Sweeney Todd

35. Victor Frankenstein, The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein

36. Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame

37. Erik, Phantom of the Opera

38. Fu Shenxing, Who is the Prey

39. Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

40. Joe Goldberg, You

41. Missy, Doctor Who

42. Lestat, Interview with the Vampire

43. Kilgrave, Jessica Jones

44. Masato Kisaka, Kamen Rider 555

45. Siyun Baek, Dreaming Freedom

46. Tomoya/Sam, He’s Harmless I swear

47. Morae Baek, I don’t want this kind of hero

48. Lady, I don’t want this kind of hero

49. Yuta, Kubera

50. Thaddeus, Madame Outlaw

51. Yunsu, Trapped

52. JD, Heathers

53. Erik, Yeston and Kopit Phantom

54. Der Tod, Elisabeth

55. Callisto, Villains Are Destined to Die

56. Hannibal, Hannibal

57. Reinhart, I failed to oust the villain

58. Yul, Secret Alliance

59. Hananoi, A Condition Called Love

60. Naoka Ueno, A Silent Voice

61. Sumireko Hanabusa, Akuma no Riddle

62. Esdeath, Akame ga Kill

63. Dracula, Bram Stoker’s Dracula

64. Mashiro Mai, Dead Tube

65. Monika, Doki Doki Literature Club

66. Lucy, Elfen Lied

67. Juvia, Fairy Tail

68. Mimi. flip flappers

69. Akise Aru, Future Diary

70. Elena Aoki, Gleipnir

71. Hades, Hadestown

72. shuu iwamine, Hatoful Boyfriend

73. Luka, Alien Stage

74. LT. Oscar, Lupin the III, The Woman Called Fujiko Mine

75. Sumin Jeong, Marry My Husband

76. Reiko Ichijou, Migi and Dali

77. Diane Selwyn, Mulholland Drive

78. Harry MacDougall, Outlaw Star

79. Root, Person of Interest

80. Jackson Rippner, Red Eye

81. Kozue Kaoru, Revolutionary Girl Utena

82. Seyoung Jin, Surviving Romance

83. Sudou Kayo, Tailer of Enbizaka

84. Hayase, To Your Eternity

85. Tooru Mutsuki, Tokyo Ghoul RE

86. Kichimura Washuu, Tokyo Ghoul RE

87. The Creature, Lisa Frankenstein

88. Pig, Disco Pigs

89. Shinpei, Firefly Wedding

90. Aiko, Goodnight Punpun

91. Sal, Wadanonara

92. Jung, Cheese in the Trap

93. Khalid, From a knight to a lady

94. Margot, Gremoryland

95. Bibi, I love Amy

96. Kairos, I Shall Kill that Sweet Devil

[marilynthornhilllover]

~•Hey guys just wanted to inform you that I'm currently suffering from a minor back injury so for now I'll be posting gwendoline christie photo albums since you guys absolutely LOVE thoses but until I go on my vacation then I will be back to posting stories! New stories!~•

Stories Coming soon!!

Mortica x fem! Reader [smut]

Larissa weems x fem!reader [smut]

Gwendoline christie x god daughter reader [fluff/Comfort]

Olivia benson x fem!reader [fluff/comfort]

Jennifer aniston x fem! Reader [fluff/comfort]

Adele x fem! Reader [fluff/comfort]

Lana del rey x fem! Reader [fluff,comfort, almost smut]

Bella heidi x fan fem! Reader [comfort/fluff]

Melissa schemmenti x fem! Reader [smut]

Melissa schemmenti x fem! Reader [fluff]

Rebecca welton x fem! Reader [smut]

Rebecca welton x fem! Reader [fluff/comfort]

Elisabeth mitchell x fem reader [fluff]

Lady lesso x fem! Reader [fluff]

Jan Steven's x fem! Reader [smut]

Gwen x fem! Reader [ fluff/smut]

Andy x fem! Reader [fluff/smut]

I know this is a lot of stories! But theses are just some that's been on my mind, and I'd like to write out my imagination😅 but anyway! I'll try to write 2 maybe 3 or more, if I can when I'm on vacation and when I'm not I'll, try to write during my spare time even though I'm like always busy😂. Oh and do take in mind that when I do get the chance to write theses out they will not be in the order that they are in now! BTW if you see a story that you like in the list above you can send my a request on what you might want me to add! :)))) goodnight my darlings~♡~♡

[totowlff]

extra — you can’t shift the tide

➝ after a long day, what toto wants most is to get to his room and rest. but he has one more unfinished business to take care of.

➝ word count: 1,1k

➝ warnings: none

➝ author’s note: double update today, with an extra and a new chapter. by the way, we already have two unpublished chapters ready and they are amazing! enjoy this extra!

JUNE, 2015

Toto rubbed his eyes and checked the clock on his phone. 

It was getting late — probably well past time for him to head back to the hotel for the evening, but it was so easy to get caught up in his work sometimes. But, he needed to force himself to stop — his son, Benedict, was waiting in the garage for him, after he’d asked to stay behind to watch the mechanics working on Lewis’ car after qualifying today. Benedict was probably wanting to go back to the hotel sooner than later.

Toto gathered up his things, turned off the light in his motorhome office, and headed downstairs. He waved goodnight to the cleaning staff that were getting everything ready for tomorrow, and headed out across the paddock to the garages. 

He spotted Benedict in the back of the garage. He was exactly where Toto left him, in a seat behind the mechanic workbay. It looked like he was dozing off a little. He had his head propped up on his hand. His hand kept slipping, allowing his head to dip, which would rouse him briefly, until the cycle would repeat again. 

“He must be tired”, Toto thought, chuckling a little. “Dozing off with all of this noise”.

He crossed the garage, nodding hello to a few of the mechanics, and softly jostled his son’s shoulder a bit. 

Ben jolted with a start, despite Toto’s attempt to wake him gently. He looked up at his father and blinked, momentarily confused. 

— It’s time to go — Toto said — I know it’s been a long day, so let’s go back to the hotel and get some sleep. We have an early day tomorrow.

Ben stretched and yawned before standing up, and followed his dad out of the garage, waving goodbye to the mechanics still busy at work on Lewis’ car. It would be time for curfew soon, anyway, and the cars would be covered with their blankets for the night, not to be touched until the next morning. 

They walked back to Toto’s car in silence.

— Did you have a good day today? I’m sorry that I ended up being so busy and didn’t get to spend very much time with you — Toto said, as they settled in, and Toto started the car. 

— Yeah, I had a really good day — Ben said — Watching the mechanics work was fun, and I liked seeing the cars. I’m glad Elisabeth brought me to see the McLaren MP4/2B. Those old cars are so cool, and they’re so different from the ones now. And it was nice to see Niki again.

Toto couldn’t help but feel a bit of excitement when his son mentioned Elisabeth, unprompted, like he had. He knew that she had been nervous about whether or not his kids liked her. As confident as he was that they did like her, there was still a nugget of doubt at the back of his mind. It was normal to be worried about it, he assured himself. He’d even spoken to his therapist about it, and she assured him that it was expected that he’d feel a bit of apprehension when introducing them to someone new. Elisabeth wasn’t new to them, per se, but her and Toto’s relationship was getting serious — almost “this is your new stepmom” serious. 

His kids meant a lot to him. They were the most important people in the world to him, other than Elisabeth. The kids liking her as his friend from work was a different matter altogether than them liking her as a possible future stepmother. 

Ben and Rosi had met Elisabeth long before they started dating. After the relative disaster of introducing his kids to Aurélie, the woman he dated for about eight months before he and Elisabeth got together, he knew he needed to treat this situation with some delicacy. 

He’d never wished that he could read his son’s mind more than he did now, because he was so curious as to what Ben’s thoughts were on the matter. 

In most cases, he preferred to take the direct approach to resolving problems and asking questions, but it felt a bit different with his kids, at least with something like this, since the direct approach had failed so spectacularly when he’d introduced Aurélie as his girlfriend. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake twice in such a relatively short span of time.

— So, did you like hanging out with Elisabeth and your sister for the day?

— I did — the boy said — Elisabeth is nice to talk to. She knows a lot about cars, and… I don’t know, I guess it seems like she likes talking to Rosi and me. Like, she asked me about my F1 in Schools project, and most people don’t even know what that is.

Toto relaxed a little. That seemed like an endorsement, a step in the right direction. Toto trusted his son’s judgment. He liked to joke sometimes that Ben was his junior advisor, but at the core of it, he meant it. Ben may have only been fourteen, but his entire childhood was shaped by Toto’s parenting missteps and his divorce from Stephanie, Ben and Rosi’s mother. He’d gone through a lot, but Toto always marveled at how emotionally intelligent his son was because of it. There was never any way to hide his feelings from Benedict.

For that reason, he tried to shield his kids from as many of his personal dramas as possible after the separation and subsequent divorce. He dated a few women, even before Aurélie. He cringed whenever photos of himself with whatever woman he’d been out on a few dates with ended up in business and social magazines in Vienna, but there wasn’t much to be done about that. He never introduced any of the other women he was dating to his kids. Not before Aurélie, and what happened with Aurélie was exactly why.

He took them all out to dinner. They’d gone out to a pizza place in Vienna’s Innere Stadt near Toto’s penthouse called Trattoria Santo Stefano. The kids loved pizza, he thought, and there were lots of lighter options if Aurélie didn’t want the carbs. She was a fashion model, and she had to pay attention to what she ate, and she usually declined most of the restaurants suggested, with the fare being too rich. It hadn’t bothered Toto at first — he liked eating healthy, but he still liked the experience of dining.

Their outing didn't go badly, he thought. However, during dinner, Ben and Rosi were very obviously bored and indifferent to her presence, and Toto struggled to keep conversation flowing between his children and his girlfriend. It wasn’t surprising — she didn’t really make much of an attempt to interact with either of the kids. Toto tried not to fault her for it, because he knew that Aurélie hadn’t been around pre-teens very much and probably just didn’t know what to talk about. But, still, it did bother him that she more or less treated them like wallpaper, and would look startled whenever Ben tried to participate in their conversation. Rosi mostly ignored them and focused on her dinner. 

After that dinner, Toto asked his kids what they thought of his girlfriend directly, eager to get their opinions.

Rosi didn’t have much to say, and said that she wasn’t really paying attention, and that she was a bit bored. 

Ben’s response, however, was more lengthy. 

— I don’t know why she didn’t want to talk to us. I kept trying to respond to her questions, but she kept looking at me funny. I feel like she didn’t really want us there. I don’t know why you like her so much, dad.

It stunned him at the time, and it was why he was a bit cagier about asking now. He’d underestimated how smart and perceptive Ben was, and should have realized then that his relationship with Aurélie was going nowhere, but at the time, he convinced himself that they’d all come along to like each other. 

— It will just take some time, but you’ll see, she’s wonderful — he told them.

Toto realized now that he was just trying to convince himself, more than he was trying to convince his children.

Silence hung in the air in the car between them for a few more minutes, with nothing but the hum of the engine as Toto drove down the Spielbergstrasse. He was keeping his eyes focused on the road, watching for the shine of eyes from the roadside, just in case a deer or some other critter would try to cross. It wasn’t something he ever had to worry about in Vienna. 

— Is Elisabeth going to be there tomorrow? — Ben asked, quietly. 

Toto furrowed his brow at the question. 

— Of course she will be, Benedict. She’s part of the team. Did you not want her to come?

— No! No, that’s not it. I… Can I ask you a question?

— Of course — Toto’s hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as he snuck a quick sidelong glance at his son, but he tried to remain composed. He was probably just as nervous as Ben seemed to be.

— Is Elisabeth your girlfriend?

Toto felt his face blanch and his stomach lurch. 

— Why are you asking? — Toto said. He was trying to keep his voice even.

— Well… You were working in your office one day when Rosi and I were at your place. Your phone was in the living room, and it rang. Rosi went to bring it to you, but the call went to voicemail. We saw that your wallpaper had changed, and we know you don’t know how to change it. And it was a picture of two wine glasses, and I noticed one of the glasses had lipstick on it, so… We figured out that you had a girlfriend.

Toto’s head felt like it had been replaced with a balloon, filled with helium, trying to float away from his neck. Guilty as charged — he definitely didn’t know how to change his phone’s wallpaper. Elisabeth had done it for him because she thought it was cute.

— We’ve noticed some other things, too. Like the furniture being rearranged in your apartment. You haven’t moved your furniture since you first moved in. And the way you talk to Elisabeth… We’ve been around people on the team a lot, and we’ve never seen you talk to anybody else you work with like you talk to her. And that song you were playing on the trip up from Vienna. Rosi and I were sure it was because of her.

Toto sighed. He and Elisabeth had tried so hard to hide it from the kids, because of how things went with Aurélie. Toto didn’t want to bring someone new into their little family so soon, and Elisabeth didn’t feel ready, either. 

And yet, they Ben and Rosi had seen right through it.

— Yes, Benedict. Elisabeth is my girlfriend.

More silence in the car. 

— Are… You upset with me? For not telling you?

Toto could see Ben turn his head.

— No, dad. Rosi and I like her, and both of us want you to be happy. Plus, she’s nice to us, and doesn’t ignore us like the last lady did. And you’ve been a lot happier lately, too.

Something warm bloomed in Toto’s chest. He couldn’t help but smile. 

— I’m glad you like her, Ben. You and your sister are… You’re the most important people in my life, and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that you two didn’t like.

— Is that why you broke up with the last woman? — Benedict asked.

— Well — Toto started to say, but Ben continued.

— Because… You didn’t seem all that happy when you were with her. Not like you do now, at least. You really like Elisabeth a lot, don’t you?

Toto couldn’t get the smile off his face all of a sudden.

— I love her, Ben.

[bmpmp3]

a quick cover feature this weekend, mostly because i am very sleempy. BUT please enjoy a couple versions of Usseewa (うっせぇわ) by Ado that i like!

We know this song, it was like number one on the charts for a while in Japan if I remember correctly? Jesus christ 333million views.......... ALSO if i remember correctly it was kind of controversial? Mostly with like, parent groups or something, which just makes the song work more honestly LOL awesome. This song rules, the lyrics rule, its so biting and sarcastic, Ado's vocals rule, her switches between her growls and her operatic tone all the way to a seething breathy sound, Syudou's production rules with the thumping beat and the odd, like, halloween-y synth line in the background?? It all rules. We know this. We know this.

Now I'm a sucker for producer self-covers. I love them forever and always <3 This is kind of mostly a vocal synth music (and vocal synth music adjacent like Ado herself getting her start in uttatemita covers and Syudou being a prolific vsynth producer) phenomenon but I love that vsynth producers will just sing their own songs as a side thing, sometimes they're not the best singers but it's still really charming. Syudou is notably a good singer though, and he has his own solo singing work as well (yacchattawa is a personal favourite) so his self-cover of Usseewa is really fun!

He has a really distinct, high, nasally tone with some great voice breaks and like, squeaks at some of those high notes, really great! And that second verse's near-maniacal and giggly sound rules.

Here's a vocal synth cover I really like, a cover using the Neutrino voicebank Yogatari Tobari by AgentAsteriski!

I fucking adore Tobari. I do wish she had a dedicated singing voicebank on a vocal editing software, or hell, I'd take a frontend for Neutrino itself hjkfjsfdsfds I'm scared of the lack of UI... I'm scared... She has her A.I.VOICE1 text-to-speech bank which can work with like, kotonosync I think? But I really love her voice and her character and I want her on everything LOL

Specifically, as AgentAsteriski points out in their description, she kind of yells in her Neutrino voice which rules, and works especially well for covering a song like this! Really fun, I love it a lot. Tobari Nation Rise Up!!!!!!!!!!!!

And one more cover, this one's really silly as it's a straight parody, but this cover by Hiroko Kachi, a musical actress, playing as the titular character from the musical Elisabeth:

HONESTLY MY memory of Elisabeth is very vague from watching a very crunchy upload of a Takarazuka version years ago so I'm missing half the jokes BUT I do love the jokes I did get and I love how unhinged she got about it LOL awesome parody concept, really fun and fantastically sung~

THAT IS ALL I wasn't lying about being very sleempy,. Goodnight my friends (yells "shut the fuck up" and dies on impact)

[kuuyandere]

hi again

its night for me when i say this so i'll say goodnight, i wonder when it is for you. anyways. i think its silly you called me a lurker, how cheeky. i applaud you for being empathetic to others and answering their questions or giving them the attention or consolation they wish they had when they're spiraling, its tender honestly.

so, i know most people want to know whats going on in your head in an nsfw type of way, but it doesnt really interest me (sorry lol), so i wanna ask you different questions

what show have you been watching lately? do you like to read? i'm pretty sure youre in uni (so am i), do you find it difficult to make friends as an adult (i know i do.. its so much more difficult than sharing your lunch with another kid back in elementary lol), also are you excited for autumn?? whats your favorite season?

okay enough of my 21 questions, i hope you have a good, whatever time it is for you, :p-

-<4 anon (yes its meant to be <4)

Good morning (in my time), <4-Anon. I do try to be supportive, thank you. And there is no need to apologise, you are free to consume or not consume whatever material you wish!

My replies to your questions are a little long, so they are under the cut.

I have not been watching much recently- I usually don’t unless I have a break (hence why my to-watch list is immeasurably long). I finally got around to listening to the German version for Dracula the Musical and it is really good! Also, I have been introduced to Elisabeth the Musical, which I will also probably binge in the near future because the tune of “Die Schatten werden länger” gets stuck in my head despite not knowing what the lyrics mean. And I do enjoy reading, although it has been considerably more difficult to pick something up in recent years (for mental health reasons I suppose).

Yes, I am a university student, and I hope your midterms are going alright if you have them. I do find it more difficult to form connections as an adult. It is a lot harder to stay in touch with people without constantly seeing them like in elementary school. Most of my acquaintances are from my place of work or clubs I go to rather than my classes.

I am very excited for autumn, and I would say it is my favourite season with winter as a close second. It is the perfect temperature with a beautiful aesthetic. I still need Halloween costume ideas though, so feel free to give me recommendations (my darling proposed Ghostface from Scream for obvious reasons, but I think that will be pretty common).

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

ELISABETH I LOVE YOU TOO AND I JAVE VARELY SLEPY THID WRRK AND CANT KERP MY EYES KPEN. GOODNIGHT

[wonderlandleighleigh]

♪

We couldn't all be cowboys

So some of us are clowns

And some of us are dancers on the midway

We roam from town to town

I hope that everybody can find a little flame

Me, I say my prayers,

Then I just light myself on fire

And I walk out on the wire once again

[blacktopmemories]

Playlist for Saturday, October 28, 2023

Slowdive - "Prayer Remembered" Blood Chill - "Assume" The Brook and the Bluff - "Knock" Arlo Parks - "Weightless" Counting Crows - "Goodnight Elisabeth" Maritime - "We Don't Think, We Know" Courtney Barnett - "City Looks Pretty" Teenage Wrist - "Diorama" Beach Fossil - "Don't Fade Away" Blonde Redhead - "Melody Experiment" Elliott Smith - "Don't Go Down" Gomez - "Cry On Demand" Fruit Bats - "We Used to Live Here" Frightened Rabbit - "Woke Up Hurting" Truth Club - "Suffer Debt" Land of Talk - "Rainbow Protection" Ratboys - "It's Alive!" Glassjaw - "Pompeii" New Found Glory - "Better Off Dead" The Get Up Kids - "Action and Action" Ships to Roam - "1950" Teenage Fanclub - "It's Alright" Metric - "Nothing is Perfect" A Giant Dog - "I Believe" Cage the Elephant (feat. Alison Mosshart) - "It's Just Forever" This Frontier Needs Heroes - "George Cloony" Anna Waronker and Craig Wedren - "No Return" (Theme to "Yellowjackets") xo - b.

To download or stream the show, click here!

[inapat16]

Similar stories of girls in uniform: 1. Mädchen in uniform

Portraying two women loving each other on screen has not always been an easy thing, and we can even say that, unfortunately, it is still occasional today. But there is a recurrent narrative form that allowed some movies to depict lesbians in cinema, more or less clearly. It came from the literary genre of the “boarding school story” that became popular in the late XIXth century and at the beginning of the XXth. In this genre, there are in particular similar stories written by women about their teenage years in all-girl boarding school and their awakening to love in this feminine context. Because these books were well-liked, some directors decided to adapt them on screen.

One of the first to be adapted for the cinema was the German play Gestern und Heute (“Yesterday and today”), written by Christa Winsloe in 1930. It depicts the awakening to love of Manuela, a teenage girl in a Prussian boarding school, towards one of her teachers, Elisabeth von Bernburg.

It was first brilliantly adapted by Leontine Sagan in 1931 under the title Mädchen in uniform (“Girls in uniform”) which was a huge commercial success at the time and was really appreciated across Europe. Its popularity is in particular due to the fact that it is a talking picture. It was released at the beginning of the sound era, but if some of these films had really theatrical stagings, this one is played more authentically, almost in the same way than what we can see in contemporary cinema, so it aged well. This movie is also singular with its all female cast! It treats its female characters with great respect, which can be a bit surprising for the time considering the subject, but it is most likely because Christa Winsloe, the writer of the play which was inspired by her life, and Leontine Sagan, the director of the movie, were both lesbians.

This movie may seem modern for its time (especially the scene where the teacher comes to say goodnight to the heroine by kissing her) but the context of Germany after World War 1 helped to produce such a film: it was the Roaring Twenties.

If today we can be shocked to see an adult seducing young girls, and also sense the imbalance in this type of relationship, it was absolutely not something that was discussed at the time the movie came out. The critics of the time did not mention that aspect of the movie at all. If the movie was later put under censorship, it is not for its luxurious aspect but because it also condemns fascism. When the German Reich appeared in 1933, they even tried to burn all of the existing prints of the movie but, fortunately, we are still able to see it today.

Maybe that was what the director had in mind in the 1958 remake, Mädchen in uniform, directed by Géza von Radványi. This version, in colour, is really softer on all its political aspects. The choice of the young actress Romy Schneider, who had just finished portraying the Empress Elizabeth of Austria in Sissi, also shows that this film was thought for all kinds of audience. The condemnation of Prussian fascism is softened, and the lesbian aspect of the movie is less visible: the teacher Elisabeth Von Bernburg can be seen as, instead of a lover, a motherly figure.

Nevertheless, this version is still beautiful and allowed another generation to discover this story, which helped the first movie to gain a cult status.

These two examples of boarding school movies are not the only ones to depict women loving each other, and I will continue with another similar story adapted from another book next time!

Zoé Richard

[sleepydrummer]

I hope you’re resting quietly I just wanted to say Good, goodnight Elizabeth Goodnight Elizabeth

Goodnight

[farfal-la]