#gosh I hate rue

[sincerely-sofie]

Ruby anon again! I’m glad that I haven’t been interrupting your creative process or intervening at all. I can’t wait to see what you do with Ruby and her siblings!

The siblings, btw, were a piece of work for me to write and develop until I decided to peace out on really doing anything with them. The only two things I remember about them really are:

• They’re bounty hunters and their parents did the same thing to them that they’re doing with Ruby. They’re repeating behavior taught to them and they legitimately think they’re helping Ruby. I scrapped that idea quickly because I felt like that could push out the problematic “the abused become abusers” message and that it could possibly make the siblings sympathetic, and I did not want to make them sympathetic in even the slightest way. Anything I had involving the backstory of Ruby’s siblings and/or what happened to their parents was just tossed out after that.

• I thought about the siblings having opposite personalities and looks: one is more loud and aggressive and the other is more quiet and passive aggressive. One is shiny while the other is not. One is the physical abuser while the other is the emotional abuser. Despite their personalities contrasting, they get along well with each other. I wanted it to symbolize that abuse can look different, but it’s still abuse and can often come with other forms of it. I was still on the fence about that idea because I wasn’t sure if I liked it.

I hope you can write the siblings better than I ever could. I can’t wait to see more of your work! It’s amazing! I hope you have a good night. ^^

OHHHHH MY WORD I CAN’T BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW AMAZING THESE NOTES ARE AND HOW EXCITED I AM TO INCORPORATE THEM

I love the idea of the siblings embodying different forms of abuse and the significance of how their differences ultimately play off each other in a way that they get along swimmingly. That’s a brilliantly layered piece of storytelling, you’re a genius! And thank you for the compliment, you’re super sweet :>

Real quick, an important thing to note about the possible problematic message that “the abused become abusers”— it’s a heartbreaking fact that many cases of abuse are generational in origin. The documented fact that domestic abusers are frequently victims of corporal punishment is one of the most devastating examples of this. To write a couple of characters who reflect this fact doesn’t automatically push out the idea that the abused become abusers— heck, it could be written as an important insight into the devastating effects of abuse and how it impacts its victims, and how breaking the chain of abuse is even more significant than its already seen.

Just because you write a reason for a character to be a horrible person doesn’t mean they’re automatically sympathetic, or even that they’re sympathetic in a bad way. Villains people can relate to are very powerful from a writing perspective because they make the reader stop, stare into the abyss, and see it staring back at them. A sympathetic or “understandable” villain who is still clearly villainous is terrifying compared to one that’s cartoonish pure evil. I can’t think of anyone who wants to blow up the universe, but I can think of a good few people who are xenophobic to the point of dehumanizing even themselves through their hatred. An origin story isn’t always an excuse. Sometimes it’s nothing more than an explanation— a cautionary tale that says “this could be you, so watch yourself.”

The fact that this is a possible backstory for Ruby and her older siblings is very relevant to Twig’s character in particular. I haven’t talked about Twig’s aunt Rue or mother Rowan’s backstories very much, but Rue was very similar to Twig while growing up— and Twig resembles Rue as a child more than she does her own mother. In a piece I haven’t finished yet, there’s a flashback that reveals the lighter that featured so heavily in the abuse Twig suffered is printed with her grandfather’s initials. Ruby and Twig could talk for hours, I think, about the torrential emotions that come from knowing your tormentor was a victim as well.

[tthesongofachilless]

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

♟️ — relationship: Max Verstappen x fem!teammate!reader

♟️ — face claim: Pinterest

♟️ — WARNING: This smau includes hate, death threats and sexism.

♟️ — a/n: thank you everyone for the support recently! Its been a wild ride making this, so I hope you enjoy it! For requests on my next smau, feel free to put in an ask! Enjoy

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 384,752 other liked..

f1: F1 BREAKING: Y/n Y/l/n signs with Redbull! ✏️

view comments:

user1: WHAT HUH WAIT WHAAA

user2: RUE... WHEN WAS THIS?

user3: IM SHAKING

redbullracing: welcome 🫶🏻

user4: OH HELL NO

user5: checo come back the kids miss you (im the kids)

maxverstappen1: 👋

user6: i thought we were getting a maxiel reunion..

user7: she's a fucking rookie what do redbull expect is gonna happen

user8: the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself 😔😔😔

yourusername: 🫶

user9: shut your goofy ass up go to Williams instead they will LOVE you there

yourbestfriend, landonorris and 23,038 others liked..

yourusername: trying to live my life till the fullest until my trainer forces me to stop 🙈

view comments:

user10: oh don't worry girlie you'll be back to living your life till the fullest in no time

user11: gosh lando in the likes she's already tryna bag every driver

user12: all i wanna know is how does y/n make that many cups of coffee and not finish any of them?

user13: cant wait to see her make a post talking about her leaving F1

user14: y/n is about to become the james charles of f1

yourbestfriend: miss you xxx

yourusername: miss you more!!!

—

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 197,296 others..

f1: 👋 Hello Max, Hello Y/n! Who's ready for our opening round of the season?

view comments

user20: gosh she won't even let the photographers get a good picture for the official f1 insta

user21: did they..... arrive together...?

user22: uhm!!! who is this girl!!!! where is checo!!!!???

user23: max run

redbullracing: Hello, f1!

yourusername: ME!!!🙈🙈🙈

user24: shut UP ALREADY

schecoperez and 482,074 liked..

f1: CONTACT! 💥 Max Verstappen is okay, safety car is deployed.

view comments:

user25: im going to murder y/n.

user26: turning the tv off it isn't worth watching anymore

user27: CHECO IN THE LIKES HAHAHA

user28: hey y/n do a mazespin

user29: redbull shaking in their boots

landonorris, redbullracing and 963,285 liked..

f1: Y/N Y/L/N, A FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIX WINNER!

view comments

yourbestfriend: THAT'S MY GIRL

redbullracing: 👊👊👊

user30: ugh

user31: can't wait for her to crash at every other race!

user32: wondering how the haters feel now...

yourusername: I FEEL AMAZING 🥁🥁

user33: kill yourself

yourusername posted a story!

caption: I'm winning

tagged: maxverstappen1

view comments

maxverstappen1: uhm you cheated

yourusername: you literally ate one of your cards

user34: leave that man alone

user35: jump out of the bus

maxverstappen1, taylorswift and 38,284 others liked..

yourusername: Taylor was right! Haters gonna hate hate hate while I'm just gonna shake shake shake!

view comments

user36: she's so annoying

user37: she's a swiftie? Gonna stop listening to Taylor now 🙉

taylornation: glad we could help 💕

user38: are we not going to talk about the second picture

user39: im scared for that mans wellbeing

maxverstappen1: 🏌️ Score!

user40: MAX RUN

—

— 7 Months later..

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 918,024 others liked..

yourusername: wanna die but at least I've got my boo 💐

view comments

yourusername: you deserve so much better baby 💕

maxverstappen1: 👫 twinssss

user44: I'm sorry YOU SAY TWINS IN THAT YOU WANNA DIE OR YOU GOT YOUR BOO

user45: girl has been through it all in the past few months

user46: show them that they're wrong!!

user47: who is the boo?

user48: ugh such a pinterest lifestyle

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 486,019 others

f1: Our final race of the season is upon us! Who will take the title? Verstappen or Y/l/n?

view comments

user50: if y/n manages to win the title in her rookie year despite all the hate she's getting I'm going to be so proud

user51: both deserve it so much 🧡

redbullracing: We are happy either way!

user52: DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

user53: y/n prove the haters wrong!

liked by 401,851 others.

F1: RED FLAG 🚩 Mick is okay.

view comments

user54: SHITTTT

user55: Mick baby you need a new seat

user56: doesn't this now make redbull 1-2?

user57: yeah! y/n is leading while Max is second

liked by 1,052,852 others

F1: We go racing again in Abu Dhabi! Y/n is leading with Max in second and Lewis in third.

view comments

user58: YOU GOT THIS Y/N!!!

user59: Lewis could do so something really funny now

user60: MAXIE 2024 CHAMP

user61: last race with Lewis at merc... im not sad... no...

user62: im shaking

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 4,952,012 others liked..

F1: OUR NEWEST WORLD CHAMPION, Y/N Y/L/N!

view comments

user64: fucking bitch

user65: YESSSSSS

user66: UGH

user67: the way max looked at her when he got out of the car 🥹

user68: can't tell if she used him to get the wdc or if they are actually in love

user69: MAX AND Y/N OH MY GODD

user70: 💕

yourbestfriend: AHDHDHHGDDHHD IM GONNA DIE

yourusername, redbullracing and 6,308,157 others liked

maxverstappen1: Y/n, I've loved you since I first met you in our junior years. Your personality matches mine, and I could've never asked for anyone more beautiful than you. Please let us grow old together and look back on these moments and laugh.

Love you, world champion. 💛

view comments

yourusername: 💛 Gosh I love you come back to our room let me kiss you

user71: "let us grow old together" max what if I just died now

redbullracing: So happy for you both 💛

user72: THE THIRD PICTURE?

user73: gonna cry myself to sleep

user74: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE

user75: UGHFHFHFHD

— fin 💐

— ♟️ a/n : thank you all so much for reading this! This took a while to make, as i was really stuck on how to progress the story further without making it too short. Again, if you have any smau requests, feel free to put them in my asks! Love you all 🦅🦅

[rztaros]

: love 2 hate me

synopsis. oh, how you hated the ares’ daughter so bad, you wish you could never see her again. though, it seems as you encounter her more and more, you begin to see her in a different light. pairing. clarisse la rue x hades daughter!reader genre. fluff wc. 4k+ in queue. bags by clairo, hydrangea love by tomorrow x together, but not kiss by faye webster, && snooze by sza . . . 💿 notes. 💬 lowercase intended, maybeee ooc clarisse idk, and reader is close friends w percy

how to help the palestinians. brands to boycott support the people of palestine w/ shams akel moveon petition to pres. biden donate esims to gaza

there are around 170,000 words in the english language, yet you were unable to string any of them together to express how much you wished you could never see clarisse la rue ever again. you wished you could just hit her with a chair, and hopefully splitting her head open. there was never once a moment where she was not difficult.

everything clarisse could do, you could do better—well, that was what you thought at least.

of course, you despised her, and she despised you.

clarisse, most of the time, enjoyed the competition and the rush she received whenever you and her were contended against each other. she even liked the look on your face every time you lost to her and the pride that'd engulf her.

that unbearable grin, along with her vicious, boisterous laugh she'd hold every time you lost to her. often, your facial expression garnered a snicker from her, one that replayed over and over again in your poor head.

there was barely a chance you'd ever have to work with clarisse, let alone have to talk to her, you thought. however, you were proven wrong, very wrong.

"can you stop speakin' just for one minute? you're giving me a headache, gosh," you'd groan, gradually losing focus on the primary task. rolling your eyes, you'd shoot a sharp glare at the ares' daughter, your face not indicating any kind of amusement.

she'd scoff, taking a step closer to you, her eyes trailing from your eyes to your lips. her gaze, piercing and intense as ever, bored into yours. it was as if her gaze was a magnetic force, luring you in.

for a moment, it'd seem you'd see clarisse in a different light. as much as you hated to admit it, she was attractive. her eyes held a devilish stare that you could get lost in.

clarisse seemed like some sort of corrupted angel, almost supernaturally beautiful, and she was unnervingly unforgettable.

the task you were once immersed in, was now long forgotten as you'd roll your eyes once again. cursing her over and over again inside your head, you'd try to bring your attention back to the task. who knew you would be paired up with clarisse, the absolute bane of your existence?

"you don't have to pretend you hate me so much, sweetheart," clarisse drawled, her eyes just as stunning as she was, "c'mon, just admit it," a sharp, vicious chuckle escaped her. what irked you most wasn't clarisse herself, no—it was her knowledge of you. it was like she knew you were never one to back down from a challenge, more so, if it meant you'd beat clarisse la rue.

clarisse, who you have barely ever started a "regular," friendly conversation with, somehow managed to wring out every drop of patience inside you. "gods, you're just as weak as i thought you were, y/n," she'd tease, flashing a faint, sleazy grin at you, and in contrast to her grin, you'd scowl at her gestures.

sighing, you'd try to avoid clarisse's actions, your eyes flickering to the fields, far from the two of you. as you looked out afar, noticing a figure who seemed to be a guy, clarisse would speak up, snapping you out of your trance, "stop lookin' at that guy, and pay attention, jeez," she'd murmur. her voice was distinct from the rest of the times she spoke to you—she sounded vulnerable, weak even.

"what, you jealous, la rue?" you'd retaliate, now having that same grin clarisse once wore. you'd snicker, clearly amused by the girl's gestures.

you'd notice clarisse's eyes widen, just for a small moment, as if she had something to hide. she'd quickly become defensive, snickering, "what would i even be jealous of? the amount of times you've lost to me? yeah, for sure," clarisse would argue.

just nodding at her defensiveness, you'd dismiss the situation—maybe you were just reading into things too much. though, her shift in demeanor was drastic. nonetheless, you'd just ignore it.

there was an unexplainable feeling clarisse experienced as she stared at your figure, her gaze deep. as much as she thought you were infuriating, you were irresistible, even for her. she knew as much as you were different from the rest—never backing down from a challenge when it involved her— she won't think about you at all, she wouldn't allow herself too.

as you two trailed down the fields, you'd pull clarisse to a spot crowded with flowers. "get me a few flowers," you'd murmur blandly, crouching down to admire the rows of hydrangeas. your eye would glisten at the sight of the prosperous, radiant petals.

clarisse scoffed at your demanding tone, "flowers?" she questions, eyebrows furrowed and knitted together. "never thought you out of all people liked flowers."

the nerve of this girl, you thought, your face morphing into one of judgement, "what do you even know about me, la rue?" you'd tut, watching the ends of clarisse's mouth quirking up, forming a gleaming grin—one you wish you could just get rid of and never see again.

her gaze would fixate on the flowers, and, she'd huff, begrudgingly crouching down besides you. her face was excruciatingly close to yours, inching closer by the second. her sinfully intoxicating aura encases you, "calm down, jeez, sweetheart," the nickname rolled off of her tongue smoothly.

your palms push against her chest, eyes darting everywhere but clarisse's unbearable grin, "just get me the damn flowers," you'd mutter, stepping back as you realized the proximity between you two. she'd chuckle softly at your embarrassed state, shifting her focus back to the flowers.

as you observed them silently, so did clarisse, her gaze never leaving the hydrangeas. clarisse would bring her hands to a selection of hydrangeas that were about to bloom, and trying to be as tender as she could, she'd pluck them.

clarisse would shove the flowers into your arms, rolling her eyes, "happy now?" she'd question as she looked in your eyes for any signs of content—not that she wanted your validation in the first place.

you'd let out a giggle, beaming an animated smile, gazing at the hydrangeas adoringly, "very much so."

"you ever gonna pay me back?" clarisse would question, wiping the dirt off of her hands, and stuffing them into her pockets.

there it was again, a moment where clarisse was somehow unable to shut up.

"already askin' me on a second date? how romantic, la rue," you'd bite back, rolling your eyes.

clarisse would swivel her body towards yours, "oh, don't be so conceited," she'd remark. you'd mumble a curse under your breath, getting up from the ground, and quickening your step.

as soon as you were out of view from the ares' daughter, the expression on your face loosens, now holding a smile you fought back when you were with clarisse. how could clarisse, out of all people, make you smile and feel as if a weight shifted off of your chest?

that awfully interesting girl sure made your heart tremble at just the thought of her.

"next week, same time," clarisse would shout from afar at your disappearing figure, a wide grin plastered on her face. it felt like a whole new sensation for her; to want to see you again, and even more, even though you've just left.

while at the dinner pavilion, you'd converse with percy, dissolving into giggles and laughter. you'd take a bite out of your meal every once in a while, too immersed in percy's stories.

whenever you hung out with percy, it felt like a breeze; you two were able to connect with each other, and understand each other while both being forbidden children. he acted like a little brother to you, and you didn't mind at all.

afar, a not-so-exhiliterated girl stared into the oblivion, her jaw clenched—that girl was clarisse, of course. just the sight of you and percy together made her mouth run dry.

leaning against a pillar, clarisse would roll her eyes at the two of you. she wished she wouldn't have to listen to you and percy laughing loudly. clarisse would cross her arms, a few of her siblings besides her chatting about who-knows-what.

there was no way you were laughing at percy's jokes, clarisse thought. she didn't think he was that funny, so why were you practically hyperventilating as you laughed at his jokes?

soon, one of her siblings would notice, "what's got you so upset? you can't even stand y/n, let alone talk to her."

"because they're so fuckin' loud—she was laughing so loudly, i mean what could he have said that made her clutch her sides like that!" clarisse would blurt out, her eyes narrowing as she'd try to catch a better glimpse of you and percy.

as you got up, going to get a refill of water, you'd pass by a solemn, stoic clarisse. she'd stare at you in silence, almost as if the world only revolved around the two of you. her eyes were hooded, scanning your facial expression for any indications.

just as you were about to round the corner, the daughter of ares' would obstruct the pathway, her arms crossed and her thumbs pointing upward.

"get out of my way, la rue," you'd mutter, sending a glare at clarisse.

a chuckle would escape from clarisse, as if everything was a game to her. "calm down, pretty girl, no need to be so cruel," she'd remark, her grin wide.

you'd stare at clarisse for a moment before looking away, pressing your lips together. "don't bullshit with me, clarisse," you'd retort, your tone as sharp as ever.

clarisse's eyes were etched on your lips, a broad, lingering smile on her face. "relax, i was just gonna ask if you're still up for this week." she'd chuckle, noticing your tense demeanor. "i would've already told you if i wasn't going, so move out of my way," you'd grumble, rolling your eyes at clarisse's infuriating gestures. it was like clarisse was always besides you in some way, annoying you just for the fun of it.

with clarisse's eyes sparking with amusement and the corners of her mouth curling upward, she'd glide effortlessly out of your way but not before patting your shoulder, squeezing it just a bit.

by far, clarisse was one of the most aggravating person you knew.

"sooo… what are you doin'?" clarisse's irritating, yet captivating voice rang through your ears. your eyes would follow her as she'd plop herself smugly besides you on the bench.

your gaze would be fixed upon the lake, barely noticing clarisse besides you despite the warmth you felt while besides the girl. as you spoke up, it was barely audible, "just lookin' at the lake, la rue." as much as you wanted to scoff at clarisse currently, you couldn't.

she'd nod, her eyes accompanied with a warm and understanding gaze—one you were stunned by. nevertheless, you'd flash an awkward, crooked smile at the girl. the silence between the two of you was new. usually, either you or clarisse would start up banter, arguing with each other left and right, no matter what; it was like your guys' dynamic.

clarisse would inch closer to you, making you hyper aware of every little movement she made. the closer she was to you, the more it was difficult for you to conceal your nervousness.

how could you be this nervous with a girl you're supposed to despise? it made no sense for you to be nervous, as you did despise clarisse, but there was something that always lured you back to the daughter of ares'—something unexplainable.

you could almost feel your heart jumping out of your chest when clarisse turned her head, meeting your gaze. her eyes locked onto yours, and her focus shifted.

her eyes would subtly trace contours of your lips with an unspoken curiosity. the proximity between the two of you created a magnetic pull, drawing the both of you in.

the faint hovering of her fingers on your knuckles only caused you to shift in your seat. knowing if you leaned forward, you two would be entangled in each other, so you'd try your best to refrain from doing so. your mouth ran dry just from the sight of clarisse this close up.

as soon as you heard a scream from afar, you'd snap out of your trance, your hands flapping up to push clarisse gently enough to make sure it didn't look like you two were entangled with each other.

it'd take you a few minutes to settle down, as your breath was heavy. you'd ignore the way clarisse would complain about being shoved "harshly" for no apparent reason, despite the fact you were gentle with her.

you'd frantically mumble an incoherent excuse, suddenly getting up, and sprinting away from the girl, leaving clarisse with a dumbfounded expression. as soon as you reached your cabin, you'd plop onto your bed, rubbing your temples.

as you sank into the mattress, your mind would instantly be swarmed with thoughts about clarisse and the previous encounter. you'd grunt, wishing you weren't like this—wishing you didn't have to think about the frustrating, yet glorious girl.

with a distant gaze, you'd stare at the ceiling, lost in contemplation with a subtle smile on your lips. a soft sigh escaped from you, and you'd glance over at the hydrangeas, the very same ones clarisse handed you.

as your eyelids grew heavy, the quietness of the night enveloped you. the tension in your body gradually melted away, as the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest signaled your peaceful slumber.

the next few days pass, and you couldn't help but feel pity for clarisse. every time you'd look her way, it'd seem as if she was sulking. as much as you wanted to tease her, you just couldn't bring yourself to.

inevitably, you'd just avoid clarisse, trying to give her space. and as you avoided her, the curly-haired girl avoided you as well.

today was no difference. you'd be training with percy, reveling in the jokes the boy would crack up in between breaths.

sure, you enjoyed his company, especially on days like these, but nothing could fill in the clarisse-shaped hole in your heart. nevertheless, you'd feel somewhat a weight shift off your chest as you practiced with percy.

once the two of you were breathing heavily, hyperventilating, and barely able to move, you both would lay on the ground, paying no attention to the sounds of swords clashing from afar.

as you looked around the crowd of campers, only one camper caught your eye, and it was clarisse, of course.

clarisse was a sight—even when she was fuming, she was drop-dead gorgeous. from her dark eyes to her brawny form, her beauty emitted resilience and allure.

no matter what facial expression she wore, it'd seem as if you were drawn to all her features. you’d say her beauty and determination was what left an inevitable impression on you, but you knew there was much more than that; after all, clarisse was practically the girl of your dreams, but you couldn’t admit that—not when you both held the relationship of supposedly hating each other.

staring into the oblivion, your eyes were practically beaming with infatuation for the daughter of ares'. percy would nudge you playfully, snapping you out of reality, as he spoke up, "y'know, you could just talk to her, right? i mean, i know she's not the best person to be around, but i'm sure you'll be alright," his tone as optimistic as ever.

you'd scoff, "what would i even say?"

in response, percy would just shrug, "go with the flow or something." and with a huff, you'd take percy's suggestion, heading on over to where clarisse and her siblings practiced at.

you'd stuff your hands into the pockets of your jacket, slowly taking steps to clarisse's direction. each step carried reluctancy, and you'd glance at the ground, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze.

approaching clarisse, her back would be turnt towards you, and just like anyone who had a death wish, you'd tap on her shoulder lightly. she'd snap her head to you, her breath ragged.

"what do you want?" clarisse would mutter, her voice not as dry as she wished it were. rather than it coming out as a demand, it'd come out as a vulnerable mumble—one clarisse wished she could dispose of herself.

you'd take a step back from the curly-haired girl, giving her some space. "just… wanted to talk," you'd mumble as you watched clarisse's face contort into a faint smile. though, as she realized she was smiling, she'd immediately wear a dull, stoic expression.

"then talk," the daughter of ares' grumbled, her arms crossed against her chest.

"just… wanted to say sorry for the other day, clarisse." you'd mumble, glancing at the ground, as you waited for clarisse to speak up, or at least nod, she'd look at you, her expression dumbfounded.

clarisse would raise an eyebrow, as if she was suspicious you were playing a cruel trick on her, "you're really apologizing to me?"

"what else does it look like, la rue?” you'd mumble, rubbing your temples. even when you felt sympathy for the girl, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at her skepticism.

as much as clarisse wanted to be mad at you, wanting to just shove you out of the way, just like how she did with percy, she just couldn't. it was like everything was different with you; everything with you was like a breeze, even if she constantly teased you.

"so you really are apologizing to me," clarisse would inch closer to you, her lips tightening into a thin, unwavering line. her gaze would bore down, almost as if to challenge you.

for a few seconds, all you could hear was the deafening, unbearable silence that followed.

"i guess i forgive you," clarisse would mutter nonchalantly, though her attempt to be nonchalant was shattered by the subtle grin she held and the twinkle in her eyes.

glancing up at clarisse, your eyes would widen in sheer disbelief. clarisse, the same one who was short-tempered, forgave you and didn't hold a grudge against you. speechless, all you could do was close the distance between the two of you, pulling clarisse into a heartfelt embrace.

with warmth radiating off the embrace, clarisse would huff, wrapping her arms around your waist. her gaze would soften at the sight of you burying your head against her chest, almost as if you were eager to hug the curly-haired girl.

breaking the silence, clarisse would speak up, "never thought i'd be huggin' you," she'd chuckle. you'd roll your eyes, grumbling against her chest, "never thought so either."

despite clarisse knowing she should let you go, she doesn't; instead, she holds you tighter by the waist, as if you were gonna escape out of her grasp. she savors the moment, uncertain whether or not you two would return to the bickering the next day.

lifting your head up, you'd notice the way clarisse's eyes glimmered with warmth and compassion. gradually, you two would let go of each other. clarisse would rub your sides, her touch tender-like. your cheeks would heat up at her warm touch, and you'd beam a gentle smile at her.

the fact you were meant to hate the curly-haired girl was long forgotten, and now, all you could think about was how tender she was towards you.

realizing evening was soon approaching, clarisse would whisper, "it's getting late. maybe i could walk you back to your cabin, y'know—just for safety."

you'd raise an eyebrow at the girl wanting to walk you back for "safety," knowing she just wanted to walk with you to talk to you more. however, you'd nod, a quiet chuckle escaping your throat.

clarisse would flash a sly smile at you as the two of you walked side by side together. as the both of you were met by the door of your cabin, you'd plant a chaste, quick kiss onto clarisse's cheek. you'd enter your cabin, leaving the daughter of ares' flustered, yet love-struck.

as the sunlight filtered through your windows, you'd wake up with a groan, groggily sitting up. by the time you were barely awake, your ears would ring at the sound of knocking against your window. you'd groan again, wishing you could have a moment of silence till you saw clarisse through your window.

from your view, all you could see was clarisse clutching something you couldn't depict in her arms. as you'd slide your window open, you'd be greeted by the daughter of ares standing firmly in front of you. you'd groan, rubbing your throbbing head. even tired, you couldn't help but giggle at the sleazy grin clarisse wore.

as you scanned clarisse's figure, your gaze would be on the bouquet of flowers the girl held in her arms. "had good dreams, pretty girl?" clarisse drawled, as she climbed into your bed. noticing your sleepy figure, she'd ruffle your hair.

you'd nudge clarisse's shoulder playfully, grabbing the arrangement of flowers from her. as you admired the different kinds of flowers wrapped, clarisse would await your reaction; she was unsure if you loved them, or if you were disgusted. the daughter of ares' hoped it was the former, her eyes scanning your facial expression.

you'd release the bouquet of flowers, and suddenly wrapping your arms around the curly-haired girl's neck, the distance between the two of you barely an inch. "never thought you'd be the type to give flowers," you'd whisper, a throaty chuckle escaping from you.

clarisse would push forward, pulling you in closer. your noses were now touching, and all you could think about was clarisse's beauty. her fingers would caress your waist, rubbing your sides.

as you close the gap between her lips and yours, pure ecstasy ran through clarisse's veins. your lips would be smooth, falling apart at the brush of clarisse' lips, welcoming her as her fingers grasped your hips. it's like heaven on earth, and clarisse wished she could have you by her side every second of the day. she wished only she could have the privilege to kiss you whenever she wanted.

clarisse never expected the two of you to be together, and she doesn't even know how it happened. she never expected this to be more than what she thought it was—merely a game, and a way to bother you every day, but here she was, barely able to keep her hands off of you.

pulling away, you'd feel clarisse's hot breath hitting your lips. the daughter of ares would cock her head to the side, her lips slightly downward as she groaned, "c'mon, sweetheart, just another kiss."

you'd roll your eyes before planting a kiss onto clarisse's cheek. giggling at her antics, you'd mumble against her neck, "so, is it safe to say you're my girlfriend now?"

a low, throaty chuckle escaped clarisse's lips, carrying a hint of amusement. her laughter would leave you confused. to you, her chuckle was a soft melody. "you're really gonna ask me that after we've just kissed?" clarisse would raise an eyebrow.

"shut up," you'd lament, your palms placed flat against her chest. her eyes were etched on your lips, as she suppressed a cocky grin at the way your eyes dimmed at the sight of her façade.

clarisse pulled you closer again, giving you nothing but teasing glances for you to initiate the kiss. indulging in the curly-haired girl's antics, you'd softly press a kiss onto her lips. "can't believe you're this clingy," you'd tease, flashing a grin at the girl. again and again, you'd press kisses onto her lips, and each time, clarisse would savor the moment.

you couldn't help but let out soft giggles at the simple, utterly ironic thought of the daughter of ares tempting you like a sinner but treating you like an angel.

the effect she had on you was everlasting, just like how it was when you two first met. and to be able to kiss you whenever, was a dream clarisse finally fulfilled.

tell the truth, i look better under you

i can't lose when i'm with you

[kotylynnemerrill]

Gosh...yet another chapter I really struggled with for some reason - y'all...wtf.

But here it is - please send me your opinions/feedback.

Your words I hold forever Ch. 4

May 10th, 1968 5:30 pm

Lexi's heart hammered in her chest as she shut the front door to her house and grabbed her bike. She walked it down the small step off her porch and quickly mounted the top-tube seat, thankful it was made for people like her who mostly wore skirts. She peddled fast down the familiar street, the pace easily matching her heartbeat, obviously more than a little excited to get to her destination.

She wasn't in the habit of lying to her mother. She really wasn't. Used to, Lexi could count on one hand the amount of times she had seriously lied to her, but over the past few months that number had been growing.

And true to her nature, of course she felt guilty about it. She hated lying to her mother and sneaking around. Then again, she had never had a reason to do such a thing...till now - but fuck it. Cassie did it all the time. Why couldn't she?

Lexi had covered for her sister plenty of times over the years...the only difference was Suze Howard didn't rely on Cassie the way she did Lexi. To get the shopping done, to get dinner started, to make sure the bills were paid on time, to make sure the house was clean, to -

It didn't really matter. Lexi felt like she had a life of her own for once and she was going to live it. She was tired of feeling guilty and selfish for wanting things for herself.

Fez didn't make her feel that way.

So she told Suze she was going to stay over at Rue's house, being the start of summer break and all, and promised to be home before noon the next day.

Suze had actually been pretty excited, "Oh good! That sounds like fun! You girls haven't done that in a while." A gross understatement but 'that' situation was...improving, to Lexi's profound relief. She really had missed Rue.

She hadn't told Rue about her and Fez...yet. she would, of course... eventually. But there was a nagging feeling in Lexi, telling her it was still too soon. She didn't want to unravel the delicate nature of their recently renewed friendship by revealing she was now sleeping with the guy who used to sell her drugs.

And, selfishly, she wanted fez all to herself. She finally had something that was hers, just hers, and she wanted to keep it that way...just a little while longer.

She had never been in love before - thought she had been - once, but Lexi quickly realized that wasn't the case at all. A very short lived crush.

Fez however was definitely something different and as hesitant as she was to put such a label on this thing they had she couldn't help coming back to that little four letter word.

And in just a week there was the very real possibility that it would all go away. A reality she had been made aware of just two days prior, sitting on the dark floral couch in his living room.

Lexi was still a little hurt he hadn't told her about the draft card sooner. They had been doing this tango for months now so why hadn't he?

He didn't really have an explanation for her that night when she had asked - demanded why he hadn't told her, but there was a look in his eyes...a pleading for her to understand. He was scared...a feeling she didn't think he experienced often.

She had cried, the anger morphing into helplessness. She felt as if this part of her life was made of egg shells - one wrong move and everything would crumble...this thing they had started.

Lexi remembered the way he had taken her hands in his, "I don't want to lose this, you gotta know that. What we got goin on...it's been great" he had said, but there was nothing he could do...nothing that didn't end with some serious repercussions.

Lexi reached the small unit on the south side of East Highland within fifteen minutes - record time. She quickly dismounted and leaned her bike against the side of the steep concrete stairs and made her way up to the front door.

It didn't take long for Fez to answer the door, wearing a simple green t-shirt and dark joggers with white strips going down the sides.

"Hi" Lexi sucked in a deep breath...he looked good in green, really good.

"Hi." He leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his lean chest...casual - cool as a cucumber. He smiled, giving her a once over that caused the hairs on Lexi's forearms to rise, like when you touched the carpet and everything you touched afterwards seemed to give you a little zap. "I was beginning to think you might still be a little mad at me"

Lexi moved closer towards him, folding her own arms over her chest. She tilted her head a little, pausing a moment before answering.

"Hmm, a little." Her lips slowly lifted into a smile. "You wanna make it up to me?"

"You have no idea". Fez took hold of Lexi's hand and playfully tugged her inside.

* * * * *

10:47 pm

"Baby..."

"Hmmm..." Lexi was warm and content, her eyes closed as she rested comfortably against Fez's warm torso. Fez nuzzled his chin into her shoulder, his beard tickling the bare skin there. She fought the urge to swat at his thigh.

"Whatchu thinking?"

Lexi lazily opened her eyes at the soft rumble of his voice. Turning her head slightly, she gave a light kiss to the thick scruff of his bearded chin.

"Not sure I'm really thinking much right now - thanks to you."

"Oh yeah?" She could hear the smirk in his voice...obviously quite pleased with himself. Lexi gave into her urge and pinched his thigh before settling herself deeper under the sheet that covered them - embarrassed.

Fez let out a laugh and brought his arms around her, bringing her closer to his body.

"You better change that tone. You're lucky Kitty is gone for the weekend and Ash sleeps like the dead" Lexi scolded before giving a big yawn.

"Mhmm." Fez began rubbing his hands up and down her arms when Lexi grabbed one of his large hands in hers and placed it in between them to her chest where her heart was.

"Was there any...pain this time?". He asked softly.

Lexi shook her head and sighed, "hmumm. It was perfect"

"Your heart still goin like a hummingbird.."

"Is it?"

"A little bit" Fez mumbled. Lexi repositioned herself to where she was on her other side between Fez's legs. She wrapped her arms around him as best she could and placed her head back on his chest. The beautiful lub dub sounded steady and strong. She closed her eyes, letting the sound wash over her.

"Seriously, whatchu thinking? " Fez asked again.

"Hmm...I don't know" she wasn't sure how to answer honestly. "It's more of a feeling really. Sounds silly but...it's like my mind is...well, Its hard to describe. There's this quote by novelist, Laura Marney, and it goes 'No matter who you are or where you are, instinct tells you to go home.' and that's kinda what this feels like, like I've been drawn here" she patted his chest "like I've come home in some weird way."

"For real?"

Lexi looked up at Fez panic setting in briefly. She was probably sounding a little crazy "I mean I know it sounds super cheesy to put it that way...but, yeah...".

""It ain't cheesy...if that's how you're feelin." Fez gave her a little squeeze.

"It is cheesy" Lexi huffed " but...I've never felt this content before...with anyone. Or myself for that matter. Never really allowed myself, you know"

"Me either..." Fez kissed the top of Lexi's hair as she tucked her head under his chin.

"I'm gonna hate every minute you're gone...you know that right?".

"Me too. But it's either this or jail if I get caught skippin out. Neither option is appealing you feel me?"

"I'd get to visit you in jail at least" Lexi replied without skipping a beat.

"I tell you what...you set aside your differences with the big guy for a while...send him a prayer in my favor every once in a while, and Ill do the same...increase my chances".

Lexi snorted, tried to ignore the dive her stomach did at his words. She adjusted her head, her eyes flicked up to his face when he remained silent. His eyes were focused on her, dark and shiny amongst the shadows that blanketed his face in the dimly lit room. "Seriously?"

"Shit...it couldn't hurt." He gave a small shrug.

Lexi settled her head back in its spot under his chin.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

She wasn't really sure what made her think of it, but the sudden realization hit her - in the five months they'd been 'talking' it never occurred to her to ask him this...it felt suddenly important she know.

They had talked plenty about her aspirations of becoming a writer, college and her dream of one day moving out of California but what did he want for himself?

"Imma ignore the fact you changin the subject right now, but yeah I think of the future. All the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So I guess you like, have a plan then?"

"Not like a plan plan... But I've been thinking about living on a farm, you know."

"I don't really see you as a farmer." She giggled slightly at the thought.

"Yeah - fuck it. Horses, chickens, goats...have a little family."

"Sounds nice. Okay...how many kids."

Fez smiled "ion know...at least two. I wouldn't mind a couple of girls runnin around. It'd be cute,

you know..."

"You don't want a boy...carry on the O'Neil family name?" Lexi half joked.

"Hell nah..." Fez chuckled shaking his head. "My luck he'd be just like Ash."

Lexi snorted. Ash wasn't so terrible though. He had actually started to acknowledge her presence when she came over without any prompting from Kitty or Fez. Granted the majority of the time he would still glare, but...still a win in her book.

She knew he had had a rough start to life, having been unceremoniously dropped off at kitty's literal door step at a very young age. He was just trying to figure things out. Lexi admittedly had a little string attaching her heart to the grump...to kitty as well. They both fulfilled something she so desperately wanted from her own family.

"I've always had this plan...have three kids by the time I'm thirty, focus on being a good mom and get them through school. Then I'd still have time to focus on my writing...or, whatever it is I end up doing."

"Damn you really got everything figured out huh?"

"Hmmm..." Not everything...

If only there was a way he could stay....

*******************"*

Lexi walked up the gravel driveway, a smile playing on her lips. Leaves crunched beneath her boots with each step and she pulled the flannel she wore tighter around her shoulders. Pumpkins lined one side of the driveway, each with a different jack-o'-lantern smile carved into their front (some more intricately than the others). One in particular definitely had been done by a small child, the lines were wobbly and chunky in spots.

Raising her hand to shield her eyes from the Sun she focused on where she heard the sound of a high-pitched cackle. There, just past the green Cadillac parked in the driveway, she spotted where the noise had come from instantly as it sounded again.

A man stood in the yard with a small girl in one of his arms, her small hands planted on either side of his face. They both had red hair - his a darker shade than the girls but close enough in color to have no doubt where she got the fiery curls from.

He held her tight with his forearm and a hand securely under her red clad bottom. With his other hand he held the small hand of an older boy, though it couldn't have been by much. He too had red hair the same shade as the man's, and curly.

In front of them was a pen of goats bleating excitedly, eliciting shrieks from the young children. The boy held something in his hand the goats wanted, they stuck their heads through the opening between the bars of the pen to get at it. Some kind of treat apparently.

He dropped some of the treat onto the ground and out of nowhere a brood of chickens swarmed the boy's feet making short work of it.

"Ohhh!" The boy let out another cackle.

Lexi's smile widened and she continued forward, daring to get a little closer.

"Oh! That's okay bud. We can share with the chickens too." The man spoke to the boy. He nodded and dropped the rest of the treat on the ground for the chickens to finish off.

The goats weren't too happy about losing their snack and belated even louder in protest. The man let out a laugh as the girl in his arms jumped at the loud sound. She let out a sharp cry, moving her hands down so they could wrap around the man's neck. He easily hoisted her up, holding her closer.

"It's okay baby girl. Hey, they sound just like you when you get hungry." The man let out another laugh before giving the girl a kiss on the top of her hair. She let out another cry in protest, obviously not amused by the man's jest.

The boy suddenly looked up as Lexi reached the caddy and she stopped dead in her tracks. Large, ocean blue eyes stared at her and a wide smile spread across the boys face, showcasing cute deep set dimples.

"Mommy!" he yelled. The man and girl turned their heads at the same time in the direction the boy was looking.

"Ma!" The girl began to bounce excitedly, forcing the man to let go of the boy's hand so he could hold the girl with both his arms. Lexi noted she had the same blue eyes - all three of them did. And now with all of them looking at her she noticed they all shared the same spattering of freckles too.

The man smiled at her then and started walking towards her. Lexi's own mouth lifted into a bright smile as she moved forward to meet the trio.

* * * * * * * *

Lexi's eyes shot open, a deep inhale of air forcing its way into her lungs. She exhaled shakily. She could still smell that 'farm' smell...hear the sound of those kids laughing. Their eyes...his eyes.

Fez's arms tightened around her waist and she felt the scratch of his beard against her shoulder blade. She relaxed into his touch, letting her heart slow its erratic rhythm.

Lexi wouldn't say she had a lot of vivid dreams, but this one...

She wasn't an expert on dreams either, but she knew remembering them meant something, the powers that be were sending you a message or something.

What did this dream mean then? Some kind of hidden desire? 'A dream is a wish your heart makes'...isn't that how the lyric went?

Lexi had to stop herself from laughing a little at the sudden train of thoughts assaulting her mind. She glanced at the small clock on the nightstand next to the bed, it's bright green numbers red 3:52 am. Lexi let out a soft sigh.

A puff of air ghosted across her back and she inclined her head to look at Fez. Oblivious to the world. His doll-like eyelashes fluttered and her heart squeezed.

Considering their conversation earlier...maybe that was it. People often dream about things they recently talked about, the things they did that day. He had mentioned living on a farm and kids, it was still on her mind as they fell asleep apparently. That's all it was.

She rested her head back down on the pillow with the annoying realization she wasn't going to be falling back to sleep anytime soon.

It really had been a nice dream though.

[atamascolily]

princess tutu re-watch, episode 17

Evil Raven: where the FUCK is that heart, I'm so hangry right now

Rue: Uhhhh, Princess Tutu keeps interfering, and--

Evil Raven: DADDY DIDN'T RAISE NO FRIKKIN' WHINERS, GET OUT THERE AND BUST YOUR BUTT TO BRING ME MY DINNER

meanwhile, back at the ranch, Ahiru is internally googling "how do I deal with demonic possession?" and coming up with zero hits when she is interrupted by a dramatic dude on a bull. Somewhat surprisingly, the bull is not also a student.

OH SHIT IT'S THIS GUY HAHAHAHAHA

between his declaration that he is "a true prince" and his lackey fanning rose petals around him, he'd fit right in on Revolutionary Girl Utena

Femio (for that is indeed his name): I'm a real Don Juan! Time to up my game and speak mostly French in spite of my obviously Spanish theme!

gosh, Ahiru is spending a lot of time naked in this particular out-of-the-way fountain.

Ahiru tries to convince Rue not to be evil, but their tete-a-tete is interrupted by Femio dancing to "I'm Sexy And I Know It" while his lackey carries a boombox on his shoulder

Rue: Wow, I hate you, great job.

Femio: Ohohohoho, another conquest!

Femio invades the dance studio half-naked and demands a solo, lolololol, and does the Robot and the Electric Slide to demonstrate.

Femio: EYYYYYYYY, MACARENA! stikes a pose

Femio: Alas, I am too avant-garde for this studio--the price of following my HEART--

At the word "heart", Mytho wakes up from his coma enough to sign I LOVE YOU PLEASE SEND HELP before collapsing

everyone thinks Ahiru and Femio should date solely for the drama, lololol

Neko-sensei: Amazing technique, Mytho, but I'd prefer if you survived your next performance.

Evil Mytho drags Rue for offering to get a heart by herself

Rue: Trust me, I have just the sucker in mind

Fakir: WHO KEEPS VANDALIZING BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY?

creepy cryptid at the window: lolololol!

Uzura: surprise drum solo zura!

random megane guy from previous episodes: WILL YOU BE QUIET ALREADY?

(for better or worse, "love-love-zura" is one of the things that immediately comes to mind whenever I think of this show)

Rue's seduction attempt falls hilariously flat because Femio can't handle the concept of monogamy, lololol

Fakir (holding a squirming Uzura): WHO TAUGHT YOU THOSE WORDS, YOUNG LADY?… oh, no, is this Charon's payback for all the times I sassed him as a kid??

Forced to choose between Tutu and Kraehe, Femio.exe has stopped responding. He is trampled by the running of the bulls as Tutu and Kraehe gracefully leap to safety

Kraehe: you know what? Fuck it. vanishes in a flock of crows

Tutu: My work here is done. graceful curtsey

Fakir: where the hell did all these bulls come from?

Ahiru: Literally no idea!

Uzura: RIDE 'EM COWBOY ZURA! Fakir: Ignore her, she's just doing it for attention. I did the same thing when I was her age.

Ahiru re-enacts Mytho's message and Fakir.exe has stopped responding. The bulls shuffle ominously, sensing weakness.

Ahiru: Oh, did I forget to mention, it's from Mytho!

Fakir: Holy shit, do not scare me like that!! I thought I was going to have to deal with FEELINGS!

Mytho: Too bad you didn't have enough… animal magnetism to capture that guy's heart, Rue. *rimshot*

Drosselmeyer: OOOOOH, nice one! Hahahaha, you're so fucked!

[licncourt]

Hiiii!

I just finished your excellent fic "Begin Again" last night and wanted to thank you so much for writing a beautiful fic where both Louis and Lestst have their voices perfectly, and in which they heal together and insist on working on their relationship in stead of giving up ❤️.

I have a question about something though. In the penultimate chapter they stand in front of the statue of Claudia in the garden (very emotional moment), and they talk about her. They talked about her being innocent and dying an innocent. Is their view of her the rose-tinted view of fathers who love their child beyond anything or did they see her manipulations of them when they all lived at Rue Royale as justified? And also the fact that she hated them both at some point, but she chose Louis cause hes easier to manipulate. Or did they forget about all that because it didnt matter to them in the grand scheme of things?

Oh my gosh, this is so sweet 😭 Thank you so so much for reading and for letting me know you liked it! It means the world to me ❤️

In that passage I was actually referring to the fact that she "died" when she was turned (since the body dies during the transformation). Vampires are always discussed as being the living dead both in VC and in pop culture in general, so I thought maybe it was a comforting idea for them that her first death was the one that matters here.

Her human life ended while she was still innocent, and the vampire Claudia who was made a monster without her consent and burned in Paris is maybe absolved of what she became.

[humanoidtyphoons]

finished the main story of wished you were dead.

in the end, never quite believed in the love story, bc yes they met and fell in love as children, but the damage done as adults… i just… idk. couldn’t root for it. if they hadn’t met as children, they wouldn’t be in love as adults imo. i couldn’t believe that they re-fell in love tbh, so i’m kinda irked. (*looks wistfully at castaway diva*)

but i thought rue’s transition from hate into something more peaceful and healing was good and believably paced, and that it took up a good chunk of the story.

i liked that karloi recovered at a slower pace, but i also think it skimped a bit on the ending tbh? i wouldn’t have minded a couple more chapters focusing on karloi becoming healthier towards himself is all.

i would have maybe had karloi abdicate, but that’s just me.

the early chapters of claustrophobia were the best, ngl. rue being angry and rage fuelled once she was freed from her imprisonment was fab too and good for her for murdering her abusive dad tbh!!!

it was a frustrating read, but honestly i enjoyed the rollercoaster emotions towards karloi. what he did was unforgivable in cruelty, but he does go through an incredible amount of suffering which… almost makes up for it. not completely, but. almost tbh!!!

7/10, tbh.

gosh, i’m in the mood to eat makjangs tbh!!! i need that ott drama-rama!!!

[ridzakun]

there’s only one character in the whole serie that i care about

[nerdnonymous-plus-ttrpgs]

ACOFAF EP. 8 LIVE REACTION

A little personal but your gurl has been DOING THE MOST this week hahaha I'm so glad and thankful for this series as my reward 💗

FINAL RUMOR PHASE???

‌Captain Hob may leave the Bloom early? 🥺

‌DEV PATEL AND MICHAEL B. JORDAN PFFFTT

‌NOW I NEED THE GREEN HUNTER ADAPTED

‌LOU'S RUMOR THOOOO

‌WITH WANNESSA???

‌Squak is in a LOT of rumors y'all

‌THE JEREMY RENNER HATE HAHAHAHA

‌VISCOUNTESS GRABALBA IS ICONIQUE

‌I NEED DEV PATEL AND MICHAEL B JORDAN TO REPLY TO THESE LETTERS STAT

‌THE SIDES HAVE 2 LINES BYE

‌I NEED ANOTHER RUEHOB LETTER

‌THE COUSIN'S RELATIONSHIP 🥺💗

‌FUCK THE THEORIES WERE RIGHT,, ‌HOB AND LADY SYLMENAR???? 😭

‌OSCAR GIVING AN ENCOURAGING (?) SMILE

‌OH BRENNAN IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY

‌FUCKING WUVVY!!!

‌FIRST LINE FROM RUE'S LETTER AND IM ALREADY DEAD

‌"THIS IS THE PERSON I LOVE" IM DEAD I DIED

‌BRENNAN'S REACTION IS ALSO KILLING ME

‌CAPTAIN KNICKOLAS PNACKLESS HOB??? 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣

‌IMMA EAT WUVVY I SWEAR TO GOD

‌DAMN THE BETRAYAL, I THOT WUVVY WAS SUPPORTIVE OF RUEHOB 😭

‌BUT YA KNOW, TENSION

‌LOU AND OSCAR'S INTERACTIONS ARE SO CUTE

‌OHHH BABY THIS RUE AND CHORUS MEETING IS HEATING UP, I MEAN BRENNAN AND SURENA'S REACTIONS SAYS IT ALL BABY

‌FOR LOVE, THEY SAID

‌THE AUDACITY

‌"WE DIDN'T SAY THAT." "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO." WHOOOOOO BABYYYYY

‌ALL I WANNA DO IS BE CONSOLED BY HOB 😭😭😭😭

‌THE HEAD TILTS

‌HOB CRYING???

‌THE HORSE IS WRACKINGSPELT!!! THANK GOD

‌BINX AND HOB ARE GOLD

‌"HEY LISTEN, I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE AT THE BLOOM LAST NIGHT" 😭😭😭💗💗

‌NOW BINX AND HOB ARE JUST CRYING ABWT BEING IN LOVE BYE

‌SANDHERA 🤣😭

‌OH NOOO OSCAR IS TEARING UP

‌OMG RUE AND ANDHERA MOMENT???

‌OH BRENNAN/HOB IS MAKING ME CRY NOW

‌EVERY DELIVERY FOR "HOPING FOR MORE" IS A PUNCH TO MY STOMACH AND HEART YUP BRENNAN'S PAYING FOR MY THERAPY AS ALWAYS

‌OMG BINX'S OFFER? LETS GO LETS ALL MIGRATE TO THE COURT OF CRAFT

‌LEGIT PILLAR BOY, WHERE?

‌OHHH BOOOOY, ANDHERA IS KILLING IT

‌28 POINTS???

‌HEROISM?? BYE

‌I CANT BELIEVE THE COUSINS WERE KICKED OUT

‌IM SORRY Y'ALL, I DONT HAVE COMMENTARY THAT MUCH EVERY TIME THE COUSINS ARE ON HAHAHA ITS BECAUSE IM SO ENAMORED BY THEM AND THEIR SHENANIGANS, OKAY??

‌LOCATE OBJECT???

‌"YOU DIE WITH THIS SECRET" GSBWHWBSBSJSBS

‌OH THEY'RE MOVING IN TO ANDHERA'S

‌A NAT ONE???

‌FINALLY WE'RE RECRUITING THE COUSINS

‌GOSH THIS IS SO FUN, HONESTLY PROBABLY SECOND FAVE EPISODE AFTER EPISODE 6

‌OMG IS HOB FINALLY GONNA FIGHT APOLLO???

‌OH THEY ALL LOOK BEAUTIFUL BUT AABRIA WOW

‌"DOES HE LOVE ME MORE THAN HE LOVES BEING MAJOR?" OOOHHHH SHIIIT

‌PENIS LOL

THE HOLD ME LINE BYEEE

‌THE AIRRY PEARRY REVEAL???

ALSO: BEHOLD MY DOG 🫶 HE WAS ALSO EXCITED FOR MORE ACOFAF HAHAHA

[roguelioness]

writing tag game

Tagged by @ejunkiet, @noire-pandora and @thevikingwoman - thank you ♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68. The number would be higher if I transferred a bunch of my tumblr fics there, but I haven’t gotten around to it (and I don’t know if I ever will!)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

826,525

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

 A Whole New World  (Dragon Age, Solas x OFC)

Deja Vu Jamais Vu  (Mass Effect, Thane Krios x OFC)

For Goodness Bakes (Dragon Age, Solas x Lavellan)

The Dread Wolf Took Her (Dragon Age, Solas x Trevelyan)

A Single Arrow (Dragon Age, Solas x Trevelyan)

(side note: I’m very surprised by the last two! Both of them were written when I first joined the fandom and I’m not very fond of them, but I haven’t deleted them because they show me how far I’ve gotten along in my writing journey. I’m also rather surprised that some of my other longer works haven’t gotten as much attention... oh well!)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I answer most comments (with a noticeable exception). I struggle with replying to comments but I try to do my best to do so - getting a comment makes me incredibly happy and I want to let the commenter know just that :D

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

A lot of my angstiest works were also my very first works, haha. I temper my angst with fluff these days :) 

That being said, here are some:

Solas ends up killing Trevelyan - A single arrow

Post-Crestwood feels - Rue

Solas loses Lavellan to his plans - Solace sought

Solas and Lavellan lose to Falon’din - In the grip of death

Some of those are better than others (a couple make me cringe, but that’s part of the writing journey I suppose!)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most - of not all - of my stories these days are happy endings. I refuse to have it otherwise!

For Goodness Bakes is my happiest ending so far, I think. There are some rough patches but it ends in a very fluffy way. The Inquisition Job also has a happy ending, which for a Cullenmance is to be expected, but it’s still fun :)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I don’t think I’ve written crossovers so far, but I do have a Stardew Valley/Dragon Age one planned for the future.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. A Whole New World had a period where I would get negative comments, and anon hate on Tumblr. It’s part of the reason I had to turn on comment moderation, and why I don’t respond to comments for that fic.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh gosh, yes. Are there different kinds of smut? I have no idea. I try to write hot, emotional smut, but whether that comes across I don’t know.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, no, and I hope that isn’t the case. Writing is so hard and takes so much effort, it would be such a slap in the face to have something stolen. I hope people don’t do that - what a terrible thing to do.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I imagine it would be quite tricky planning out characters and plot? Would each author write a chapter? Not sure how that would work, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it if there was a good way to go about it.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, though if I’m being honest, it would be a tie between that and Solas/Trevelyan. There’s just something about an ancient elven god falling in love with someone who belongs to the race he believes caused the downfall of his people... I haven’t written it because I would be terrible at it, but it does capture my imagination.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

My very first longfic (now deleted) was a Solas/Trevelyan soulmate AU that suffered from the too much syndrome, and as a result I had to can it. I have a soft spot for it because a lot of ideas I had in that story I’m proud of, but I just don’t think I can finish it - it would take way too much work, and I have other ideas that interest me more.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Plot. And dialogue, maybe.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Emotion. I know what the character feels but it’s quite the challenge for me to show it. I’ve been trying to work at it but it takes a lot of effort. 

Description is another part that I struggle with - I often wish I had a way with the pretty language/phrases I read.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m guilty of doing this! One thing I’ve come to realize is that having a different language in the middle of a story can be quite immersion-breaking, so lately I’ve tried to use only words/phrases that are part of canon and are well known. I’d much rather use italics to depict a different language - it does the same job but won’t leave the reader struggling to translate.

As far as using other languages - might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t see the harm. Ideally, it would be good to have a native speaker help with the translations, but translating itself takes time and effort and should be appreciated.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh man, I don’t want to choose - I put in a lot of effort into all of them and I love them the same! (The one-shots, on the other hand, are a different story lol).

This might be strange, but I’m quite proud of Resurrection. It’s a very different story idea and writing style, and I’m pleased with how it turned out. I’m also happy with Succumbing, a Solavellan vampire AU that was my first attempt at writing horror. Lastly, my DAI:NPC ficlet series is a very self-indulgent attempt to explore the random characters you encounter in Inquisition (though I’ve had to pause it on account of not having screenshots - maybe I can pick it up again at some point!)

Tagging @ma-sulevin, @kagetsukai, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @redinkofshame, @bearlytolerant, @shannaraisles, @galadrieljones, @cleverblackcat, @hoochieblues, @rhetoricalrogue and anyone else who wants to do it (consider yourself tagged!)

[jmblyajones]

Eagles: Valentines (4x2)

1. I know that’s right! Andres better make an honest man outta Sam and put a ring on it!! 😌

Andreas… deny deny deny!! I mean what are you going to say? “I went to put a cap in Jack’s ass and instead he put a cap in mine.” Admit to NOTHING.

2. “Do you understand” Nothing I hate more than a condescending asshole. Let’s see how his mouth moves when Klara replaces him.

She probably wouldn’t because she’s focused on saving jobs… but that doesn’t mean she can’t demote him. People like that, you gotta get rid of immediately because all they’ll do is undermine you and get people on their side to overthrow any of your decisions as HEAD of the company

3. Jack for jail guys! What kind of libel laws do you guys have in Sweden huh?

4. Elias one piece of chocolate is not bad for you. Dark chocolate is actually pretty healthy. Idk why he’s making a big deal out of this. He out of everyone should know how good chocolate is for you….

and your heart.

There is this capital A awkward silence because Elias and Amie still think they’re slick enough to date secretly. Ludde practically set y’all’s first date up. Come on now 😂

5. Why is Klara giving Elias longing looks… I was gonna say it’s weird but maybe it’s not. That’s her recent ex so I guess.

I see omar likes powerful women. Or maybe he wants a sugar momma.

6. Felicia and Naima… Something (l)gbt just happened… yup yup yup. I know y’all felt it too!

7. Amie and Elias are took cute with these googly eyes across the room. 🥺

8. Y’all tell me you girls ain’t seen Felicia in weeks??? Come on man 🤦🏾‍♀️

A card? If y’all don’t take y’all asses down there and go see her!

9. Don’t play in my face. I know y’all saw that! That hand sweep to hand hold??

10. Mats should let Ludde borrow his lawyers to sue Jack for libel! I’m so disgusted.

11. Ted you dried out piece of human garbage. Ted really used his last two remaining brain cells to make a meme about domestic violence. How are people even laughing and sharing that shit??

I finally see another negro on the show and he out here jumping folks.

I HATE, I HATE, I HATE people who jump during one on one fights! It’s pathetic! 3 on 1 are you kidding me??

12. Ted really just called Klara a bitch for telling them to step off. Can we get the misogynistic dbag off the screen? NEXT CALLER!

Klara did not just tell this boy she got his mama on speed dial.

13. Elias got Amie going all the way around the world for these roses lol.

Aww oh my gosh he got her skis 🥺

Amie why you bring up Klara? lmao. He wants the world to know he love you girl.

SKATING INTO A KISS?? THAT LOOKS SOO SMOOTH 😍😍

14. Y’all had to squash the even slight chance Klara and Ludde might crush for a minute. This is hilarious but i’m with it. 💀💀

15. Y’all gon put a burger in front of this boy 🥴 He looks like he is about to spaz the fuck out oh my gosh…he looks ill.

What the hell has he been eating this whole time?? nuts and berries??

Amie is so quick to peace out chile meanwhile this boy is having a panic attack in the middle of the street.

I am wondering if Amie always being on go to cut and run is because she has some flashbacks to the whole Felicia and Ludde situation. It makes sense. My girl just doesn’t want to get hurt again.😭

16. Klara.. before you take this boy up there, Imma need Ludde to read that letter… I mean we don’t need his face to trigger her or something. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Wait Amie mentioned road trips and I just had an idea… What if there was a mini spin off with Amie and Elias in the US!! I’m reminded of what Euphoria did with its little extra episodes with Jules and Rue. Man what if we got some side episodes of them two road tripping? Or Amie preforming and Elias playing hockey in America!?! Oh that would be sooo TIGHT!!

[sun-daisies]

euphoria s2 ep7 thoughts

ok took some breaths after the euphoria ep so here's all my silly lil thoughts

they're literally not even fully formed thoughts I have no analysis breakdown or anything its literally just my screaming

fayeee :( she rlly grew on me this season I genuinely rlly like her and I hope she does the right thing poor girl looks like she's gonna vomit the whole episode

also fezco in a SUIT dressing up all nice and asking "you think other people will think im handsome?" ahsfjdhgajsha I love this man he bought her flowers and everything I still think fexi is a lil weird but its sweet nonetheless

ashtray I fear for you my guy and honestly fez too I am so fucking scared for fez please let them both make it out of next ep alive pls pls pls

rue and gia :((

rue and her MOTHER omg that conversation killed me poor Leslie :(

also rue's reactions throughout the whole play are GOLD

maddyyyyyyyyy gosh her and cassie's friendship was so genuine and so strong :((( not them basically being sisters goshhhhh and im so glad that the show is focusing on their friendship rather than nate

also maddy after last episode... like girl ur good atm but like. im very worried about how what nate did to you last ep will fuck you up.

cassie in the school bathroom forcing herself to smile/practicing her happy reactions while crying ashgjdsahgj STOP :((( god she's not okay

the FOOTBALL scene had me cackling but also really not cool of lexi to out nate like that :/ and im so torn too because this season did a lot of nate's perspective on things and why he is the way he is and sort of giving us the chance to empathize with him so I feel AWFUL when something like this happens to him but at the same time all the terrible things he's done to maddy specifically (jules and cassie and fez and probably like everyone else too but ESPECIALLY maddy) are absolutely unforgivable.

also......... everyone was saying last week that ep 6 hinted that his dad sexually assaulted him but? I wasn't so sure? I thought the shift in his childhood was when he found the tapes and all that. and now everyones like this ep confirmed that but? the whole sequence where they suggested it was so haphazard (a nightmare, or how memories blur together to create something ugly) that it could just be his subconscious or whatever idk do you know where im going with this? my brain is so tiny

anyway LEXI god I would have hated doing theater with her :) but I love this character trait for her we love "a blind three year old could do a better job than you"

also mad respect for lexi I love this observer with my whole heart...... but also..... rlly cant get behind the blatant "here are people we all go to school with, and here's shit that I know about them" like exposing them to the entire school idk it feels really icky :/ but its also super in character for a high schooler to not think about the repercussions or how that could affect others (yes she did technically worry herself sick over it BUT. peer review? maybe? like have someone else read it and be like uhhhh really obvious that this is your friends?) IDK I just felt icky about that

ETHAN PLAYING ALL THE PARTS omg this kid is going to be on broadway

*snorts* lexi's mom is fantastic. not exactly mother of the year by any means. but god her reactions in this play were golden

sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy sydney sweeney needs an emmy

and finally

julessssss :( can someone pls check in on her can we please check in on her I am begging I am pleading please she's not okay

[abracalista]

okay so you know how some people say how suffering feels holy if you do it right?

well, i'd like to present my argument on how this is DEAD wrong!!!

right so basically i think everyone has this mindset that suffering is supposed to look pretty, effie stonem from skins, rue from euphoria, lisa rowe from girl interrupted. that type of suffering. the type that's fucked up enough for you to think 'wow that sucks' but toned down enough for you to think 'but i could fix that!'. like, for example, i have either bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder based on extensive research i've been doing, and it fucking sucks. it's not pretty and it's not fun. it feels like i'm in a constant state of decay, and i know for a fact if one of those 'broken people are beautiful' people actually saw what it's like, the moodswings the obsession the constant need for reassurance that you actually care for me and you're not faking it, they'd leave in an instant.

anyways, enough about that. let's talk about love.

love feels holy. love in itself, as a concept, is just beautiful, isn't it? the idea of somebody holding you close to their heart, of trusting you and caring for you is so raw and religious.

romantic love is what most people think of when someone says 'paint me a portrait of love'. but, what about familial love? the love of my mother's hands as she makes a batch of bryani, the love of my sister as we talk like we're two sides of the same coins, the love of my grandfather's poems, hidden within a legal notepad. and platonic love? the love of a friend who writes you notes which make your heart feel light in which seem like centuries, the love of another who you hang onto as you both laugh loudly over a funny story, the love you share as you quietly hold them as they cry and they know you understand, they know you care. love for oneself? love as you watch a show you loved when you were a kid, love as you manage to get out of bed, love as you laugh and let yourself smile, love as you feel the sun on your face and infinity in your heart and you feel light, happy even.

does suffering give you that?

anyways this was really long but um i hope you have fun reading this!!!

love, j.d

NO? PEOPLE THINK SUFFERING FEELS GOOD?

sorry i’m still bamboozled people think suffering feels holy

OH LIKE DRUGS AND LIKE BEING OUT OF YOUR MIND I STRAIGHT UP THOUGHT LIKE PULLING YOUR ARMS OUT OF YOUR BODY AND I WASBSO SCARED FOR PEOPLE

oh no :( both BPD and… BPD don’t sound fun at all. it’s a tough thing to go through as well :(

i really hate the saying “broken people are beautiful”. i understand it’s a form of encouragement but like, it sucks. it doesn’t work like that and it kind of encourages people to be broken and it’s like gosh. oh the faking it sucks i know the feeling. obviously not to your extent but it’s so bad innit? it’s like your life is shattering and you’re desperately picking up the broken pieces and my god does that suck (and i do care for you, alright? if you ever doubt that just hmu ok?)

love IS beautiful. every aspect of the warmth and appreciation is beautiful. even just thinking someone loves you is enough to probably fuel me for a week. it’s beautiful and it’s fantastic

SBISJAK < FAMILIAL LOVE 3 it’s so cute and sweet when your family gives you their all and sometimes you take it for granted but it’s SO CUTE

you’re right platonic love reigns all. the way someone can care for you so intimately without ever probably even doing anything is so PERFECT AND SWEET i love everything about it. and oh the FLUTTERING is so nice

i never even thought about love for tangible things but you’re so right it feels so good

suffering doesn’t and i’m SO GLAD you talked about this

i really did love reading it!!

love you lots!!

kei <333

[chasing-classics]

I See You, I Love You- Lexi x Reader

Pairing(s): Lexi Howard x Reader

 Warning(s): language

 Summary: Lexi has been in Cassie’s shadow for as long as she can remember so she’s given up on the idea that you, her best friend, could ever be interested in her. At the winter formal, you show her exactly how you feel.

 A/N: Lexi Howard is a fucking saint and she deserves the absolute best! She needs more love lol

 ‘’What did you think of the dance?’’ you beamed, sitting down next to your best friend.

 Lexi offered her signature smile, that little twinkle in her eyes shining bright and taking your breath away.

 ‘’You were great, as always,’’ she nodded, holding her geometry book to her chest as she smiled down at the floor.

 That was typical Lexi. She and you came from two completely different worlds and personalities. You were outgoing, the class clown and the life of every party. Lexi was the bookworm, the quiet girl with the heart of gold. And you loved her more than anything in this world. You had become fast friends with the Howard sisters, Cassie and you had similar interests and personalities so you two clicked immediately in elementary school. Nearly everyday after school was spent at your house or at the mall growing up. You easily considered Cassie one of your best friends, but it had been Lexi you had fallen in love with.

 Unbeknownst to you, Lexi had fallen just as hard. She remembered feeling something different towards you growing up, but watching all of the attention Cass would get from guys and the pressure from her mother to ‘’bag a man’’ made it difficult to come forward with her feelings towards you. It wasn’t like her mom was homophobic or anything, and she absolutely adored you and was charmed by your witty humor, but she had always been in her sister’s shadow for as long as she could remember. How could she suddenly, after ten years of friendship, come clean about her feelings towards one of her closest friends? How could she possibly jeopardize that, when she was so used to being second-best to Cass? How could you ever see her more than what she was; plain-Jane Lexi.

 ‘’Are you going to the formal tonight?’’ you playfully bumped her shoulder with yours as you two took your time walking to your car.

 ‘’Yeah, want to pick me up?’’ she smiled, tucking a tendril of wavy brown hair behind her ear.

 ‘’Abso-fucking-lutely,’’ you grinned, opening the car door for her.

 This was it, this was going to be the night you were going to confess your feelings to Lexi. After you had chickened out about asking her to the formal, Maddy, BB, Kat, and Cass all gave you the stern pep-talk you so desperately needed. ‘So are you just going to wait around until some loser makes a move on her?’ Maddy scoffed. Your eyes furrowed in both jealousy and protectiveness. ‘It’s true, I saw Chris Rivas talking to her in P.E today,’ BB added, taking a hit of her vape. You clenched your jaw at the thought of that meat head anywhere near Lexi. Cassie grabbed your hand encouragingly, a small smile on her glossy lips. ‘She likes you back, y/n. Just. . .just tell her how you feel.’ And so you were. As you walked up to the porch of the Howards’ house, makeup done to your liking and your dress looked absolutely stunning.

 ‘’Y/N! Oh honey you look stunning,’’ Miss Howards exclaimed, the typical half-empty wine glass in her hands. You smiled, giving her a hug as she welcomed you inside. Cassie came down the stairs first, dressed in a simple but elegant blue gown. You squealed and hugged your best friend, the two of you trading compliments and joy.

 ‘’Oh my gosh, Lex,’’ Miss Howards’ voice broke the two of you apart, you turning around to look up the stairs. Your jaw dropped and you swore your heart actually stopped beating for a few seconds.

 She was beautiful. She looked like a princess, only better. She had an embarrassed smile on her face, her cheeks quickly turning into a rosy pink color. You smiled when you noticed her nose crinkle up, the same way she always did whenever she was embarrassed.

 ‘’You look beautiful,’’ was all you could manage to get out, still in a daze. She laughed a bit, looking down at the ground. Neither of you noticed the knowing smile on Cassie and Miss Howards’ face.

 ‘’Take good care of my daughter, y/n,’’ she called out as the three of you flooded into your car. You gave her a cheeky grin, nodding as you made sure Lex and Cass were buckled up.

 ‘’Always!’’ you called out, watching the older woman put her wine glass away to wave to you three.

 The gym was packed, sweaty bodies were dancing and grinding in every which way you could imagine. You were currently sitting at the table with the girls, smiling as Lexi played and toyed with your charm bracelet out of boredom.

 ‘’I’m going to go get a drink, Rue, you should come,’’ Jules announced, causing you to quirk a brow.

 ‘’Huh? Ohhh, Oh! Yeah! Coming,’’ Rue grinned, winking at you.

 ‘’I should go apologize to Ethan,’’ Kat sighed, offering you an encouraging smile.

 ‘’I’m going to go kick Nate’s ass, enjoy you guys,’’ Maddy sent a quick smile as she glared daggers at the Neanderthal currently fingering some random blonde on the dance floor.

 ‘’I’m going to suck dick,’’ BB coughed, smirking as she blew out a cloud and swayed away with some random baseball player.

 ‘’I’m going to watch,’’ Cassie was the last to leave, the two of you now alone in your big empty table.

 ‘’Well that’s weird,’’ Lexi laughed, raising an eyebrow in confusion at the dispersed group. You shrugged, smiling back at her. ‘’You still got me,’’ you offered. Lexi nodded, smiling and leaning closer to you. You felt your face flush as you realized how close you two were, and the two of you cleared your throat; praying that the other couldn’t sense how fucking nervous you both were. ‘It’s now or never,’ you relented in your head. You turned in your seat so that you completely faced Lexi, her sitting up straight as she noticed your change in attitude.

‘’Y/n? You ok?’’

 ‘’N-no. I mean, yes! Well, sort of. Fuck this isn’t how it was supposed to start,’’ you huffed, pinching your brows together in frustration. You froze when you felt Lexi’s soft hands hold yours down from your face, her eyes searching yours as if she could read your thoughts.

 ‘’How what was supposed to start?’’ she asked softly.

 You thumbed at her hand, sighing. You looked her right in the eye, taking a gulp and trying to remember the girls’ words of encouragement.

‘’Lexi. . .I’m in love with you.’’

 Her eyes widened in shock, her grip on your hands became slightly looser as your heart clamored in your chest.

 ‘’I’ve been in love with you since fourth grade, when you helped me the day Nate Jacobs gave me a bloody nose from that football. I loved you then, I loved you when you could barely say one fucking sentence the day you got your braces, I loved you when you told me Rue couldn’t kiss for shit, I loved you when you came over at my house in the middle of the night crying about your dad, I loved you when you made me chicken noodle soup when I was sick with the flu last summer, and I love you now. I probably always will. I love everything you do and I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you without making it weird between us, because I’d hate myself if I ever lost you. . .and now I’m rambling, but. . .it’s true. . . I love you.’’

  You felt your body shake as Lexi processed  your words. On one hand the weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. The burden of carrying such a heavy secret had finally ceased to exist, dissipating into thin air. On the other hand, though, you were terrified of what Lexi’s reaction would be.

 ‘’Y/n. . .you don’t mean that.’’

 You were crushed, physically deflating. ‘’W-what?’’ you whispered, trying not to allow your voice to crack. Lexi shakily sighed, eyes glossy with unshed tears as she looked at the dance floor to avert your devastated gaze.

 ‘’My whole life, I’ve been runner up. I’ve never been enough. Nobody has ever really seen me. And you, you’re so wonderful. You shine in a crowd, everyone loves you. Everyone sees you. And as much as I love you too. . .which I do. I fucking love you so much, I’m not enough for you. I’ll never be enough,’’ tears streamed down her pale cheeks and when you went to brush them away, Lexi sniffled and pulled away.

 ‘’Lex. . .I want this, I want you. Why can’t you see that?’’ you whimpered, heart breaking at the sight of her crying.

 ‘’Y/n, I’ve never been enough for anyone. Not my parents. Not our friends. I don’t want this to be the same,’’ she was close to sobbing as she stood up, pushing her way through the crowd toward the exit.

 ‘’Lexi!’’ you called out, panicking. You had come this far, confessed this much. You couldn’t let her leave feeling like this, like you didn’t see her. Without thinking, you made a bee-line for the stage, abruptly cutting off the DJ and grabbing the microphone.

 ‘’Hello? Sorry, sorry guys I just. . . I really need to say something,’’ you exhaled, closing your eyes momentarily to gather your courage. You opened them and right away found Lexi, stunned and tears running down her cheeks as she looked at you like you had lost your mind. At this point, you weren’t sure she was wrong.

 ‘’That girl over there, the one in the black dress. With the most beautiful fucking eyes and smile you’ve ever seen,’’ you started, someone moving the spotlight so that it rested on Lexi’s general direction.

 ‘’Yeah, that’s her. Lexi. Listen. . .I don’t know if she’ll hate me for doing this. And if you do, Lex, I understand. But the last thing I’m going to do is let you leave without showing you how much you mean to me. I’m not afraid if the whole fucking school knows it, I’ll say it to anyone who will listen. Lexi Howard is the most beautiful, the most down-to-Earth, kindest, funniest, most loyal person you’d ever hope to meet. Those are just some of the reasons I fell in love with her when we were in fourth grade. And as much as I thought I loved her back then, that’s absolutely nothing to how much I love her now,’’ tears cascaded down your cheeks, you felt the entire school looking at you but all you focused on was Lexi.

 Her mouth hung open, tears still glossy in her eyes as she stood there, listening to every word you said. The shadow of a smile on her red lips.

 ‘’You’re worried that you’re not enough for me? Lexi. . .you are everything. I see you, I love you. And I’m not going to stop just because you’re scared. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to prove it to you that I’m not going anywhere,’’ you smiled through your tears. You could vaguely see her smile, hands covering her mouth soon after as she began taking small steps towards you.

 You gently handed the mic back to the DJ, who you could’ve sworn was choking back a few tears of his own (whether it was from being faded or actually moved by your speech, you didn’t know) and began walking towards Lexi. Nothing around you mattered other than the girl you were walking towards. Not the whole school who was clapping and cheering, not the girls crying out of joy and merriment, not even the fact that your makeup was absolutely fucked due to your emotional outburst.

‘’Lex please don’t hate-‘’ your eyes flew open when she tackled you into a mind-blowing kiss, her hands caressing the back of your head as she crashed her lips onto yours.

 You quickly kissed back, holding the side of her face as the world completely faded from your view. You didn’t know how long you stood there in the middle of the dancefloor, kissing your dream girl like it was a bad high school musical deleted scene. But you didn’t give two shits.

‘’I love you too,’’ she whispered, staring into your eyes as you held each other. You nodded, smiling as a new wave of tears threatened to escape. She smiled back, the two of you kissing and smiling, wrapped around in each other’s gentle embrace. Wrapped around in the start of your new forever.

[princesstutuheadcanons]

Interesting Thought: Princess Tutu Manga

I found out about the manga for princess tutu extremly late lol. i had thought that it didn’t originated from a manga rather just an anime, - you know like *some* anime do.

but i was wrong, and dear gosh, i should have read the manga first before watching the anime because i have to admit..it’s much better then the anime itself, - read me out, now hehe..please ;;-;;. i have found out how mytho has more expression, isn’t a robot even though he got his stinking emotions in the anime..!!! in the manga his emotions show, his upset feeling goes out on the end chapter of the manga and it’s so adorable. nice, refreshing to see from him.

another thing is that fakir...um he is kind of the same, but different, he has no feelings for ahiru at all in the manga so he originally was just a knight for prince mytho, OF course he did have relations with tutu, like their good stance with each other, doesn’t hate her at all. if i am missing something else about his personality contray to the anime please do reblog and share away. i am only going based off the knowledge i got haha, and my memory is fart.

uhh ---- OOOH right..! rue has a type of (it’s like the same with the anime but *not* like that) rivel with the romance in the manga, which is good because she has more expressions, she is there and ends up befriending tutu - as to the anime she hates her, till the end when she gets what she wants becauseherpersonalitygarbagandtheendingwasbullshi- *ahem*...excuse me, hahaha..;-;;.... in the manga i will admit that i like rue more than the anime, because she’s not a overly selfish, obssessed crazed girl that doesn’t care for mytho getting his emotions - life back, seriously if you go back to watching the anime, you will notice these things even when she is back to her normal self.

like i kid you not - rue is like the back up home girl you call for help,, even tho she after the same man as you are - i just love her <3. i know she starts off horribly but she develops her character naturally not ...horriblbad ugh let me stop. to further add on; mytho doesn’t end up with rue at all nor did he fall in love with her,...seriously i read the finale chapter, found out that his feelings go more stronger towards ahiru because she is the person that care for him, sacraficed alot and he just feels so much comfortable around her. he even got his feeling for love by her only, (((i know that rue would’ve done it but she got captured, was done on purpose because Mizuo wanted this to happen))) no offense to rue in the manga, she’s great character but she isn’t the one, it is more implied on how mytho likes ahiru more. -

(like look at this gorgeous ahiru x mytho content >:DDD)

my back up for this statement is here;  Mizuo did something very adorable at the very end of the chapters she draws mytho x princess - not as tutu/mytho *but* ahiru and mytho together :”)...it was sooo adorable <3 yes i *know* that none of the two girls ends up with him but that major hint that the artist did for mytho x ahiru. it could’ve been more apparent that Mizuo would’ve made it obvious that mytho didn’t choose a girl by the end of the manga. an idea would to draw one side of mytho x ahiru and mytho x rue - fortuantly she chose to just do one pairing. another thing; it’s even hinted out that in their original draft they wanted ahiru, mytho to be together but it ended in a tragic tale unfortantly he doesn’t end up with anyone because there was no other female rivel just ahiru. - anyway now for manga pages :DDD

[sazandorable]

magnus archives end of the decade ask meme which im just gonna answer entirely bc it’s really cool!!

the archivist: when and how did you get into tma?

June 2018, so I’m at about 18 months of obsession now (and have literally been thinking about it at least once a day every day since). MAG104 Sneak Preview was the first episode that I had to wait for after being all caught up; it dropped right on my birthday, and gosh what an episode!

sasha: which episode you were most afraid of on your first time listening?

MAG018 The Man Upstairs and MAG024 Strange Music were the ones that most scared me, though others have unsettled or fucked me up more. 024 is now one of my favourites and does nothing to me anymore, but 018 still holds the title of most unpleasant, I think. I hate neighbours.

tim: at which part of the decade do you think tma would've scared you most and/or which part would it have scared you least?

I AM REALLY GLAD I ONLY HEARD THE MAN UPSTAIRS AND CONTAMINANT AFTER I MANAGED TO MOVE OUT FROM THE MOULD-RIDDEN FLAT I LIVED IN IN 2016-2017

For some reason though I think I’d have been completely immune to the scary elements while I was studying abroad in London in 2010. 18-19 yo Aza was an unwisely fearless idiot.

martin: which entity(s) would you have been an avatar of at the beginning of the decade? at the end?

Probs would have been a big fan of the Spiral or Stranger

basira: did you meet any new friends through tma?

Yes!! Basically 80% of my twitter friends and all of my discord friends are from TMA(/RQ). I’ve met up with quite a few IRL once or more and had a great time. (... I also dragged quite a few old friends into TMA, including some of my oldest best friends who are not big in fandom.)

melanie: out of the podcasts you've listened to over the past decade, how does tma compare among them?

Best overall, on all accounts, be it writing, plot, worldbuilding, natural-sounding dialogue, voice acting, editing, pacing, character development, handling of exposition, soundscaping, representation, humour...

to note, i’m not a huge listener of podcasts, but I’ve listened to WTNV, TPP-Juno Steel, Wooden Overcoats, and last week I binged the first two seasons of The Bright Sessions and was really enjoying it... and then it blindsided me with straightness I just absolutely couldn’t swallow, instantly dropped it and haven’t picked it back up x’’D Anyway, imo TMA beats all these shows on most if not all accounts; it also (imo) avoided losing steam and turning into a repetitive rehash of itself after a season or two, and doesn’t ever feel too fanservicey (to note, i’m fucking thrilled at no one being straight on Mars, TPP just happens to be just a little too campy for me). It also has a fantastic feeling of everything tying together and making you work and engage with the content, which I haven’t yet encountered in other podcasts.

(I also feel like RQG is better on all accounts than TAZ-Balance, the only other actual-play podcast I’ve listened to yet, although I really enjoyed it too.)

elias: did any episodes remind you particularly of any memories you made over the decade, whether scary or not?

MAG048 Lost in the Crowd, as well as the S3 mini arc of Jon travelling the world, reminded me of my own travels, although I had never gone on an entire vacation alone — it inspired me to start doing it, though, so now relistening to MAG048 reminds me of specific memories of travelling alone!

MAG053 Crusader and MAG064 Burial Rites reminded me of my time studying Egyptology and archaeology in uni >w< I came very close...

and MAG081 always reminds me of my own childhood curled up in public libraries.

georgie: what did you do while listening to tma? did you listen with friends or other people?

I usually listen to podcasts while doing chores or cooking, playing video games, or in public transport. In the case of TMA i also binged it at work. Consequently, I have specific memories of:

cooking meat while first listening to MAG018 The Man Upstairs

while cooking, cutting my finger deeply while listening to MAG034 Anatomy Class

my face lighting up while walking in the middle of the street as Melanie described the giant fucking thing in space in MAG106 A Matter of Perspective

reshelving books alone at work while relistening to the same episode an hour later and bursting into tears upon catching that holy shit is Jon ace

and I associate TMA with Stardew Valley and Breath of the Wild.

daisy: over the past decade, did you visit any of the locations featured in the statements?

I’d already been to London a lot. I’ve been to some places mentioned in passing like Lyon, Oxford, Edinburgh and Florence.

Post listening to TMA, I’ve made a point of going to the Tate Britain and see the Panopticon whenever I’m in London, and last time I was in Paris, for the francophone meet-up, we went to see the Rue Lagarde from MAG134! (Also Oscar Wilde’s grave for the RQG fans)

leitner: did you do anything this decade you wished you'd listened to tma before doing? likewise, did you do anything that you wish you'd listened to tma after?

God I’d have liked to have TMA while I was staying in London in 2010. Also wish I’d already found RQ in general and “had” it to help me through 2015.

Otoh it’s probably good I only found it after I was done with my librarian studies because it would probably have influenced me to stick to my original desire to go into archivistics or museum sciences, and I’m not sure I would actually have liked that as much as I enjoy being a public librarian instead.

michael: did the "influence" of any entities feature prominently throughout your decade? which ones?

Lonely, but in a positive way! Well, I’ve fucked a few people over, but that was self-defense, toxic relationships I had to cut off. Overall I’ve grown into my independence and am very happy about it!