#gosling cousin

[allpromarlo]

lions division title is upon us

[grantmentis]

2024 Ice Hockey Women's World Championship: A Primer

When: April 3rd to April 14th. The schedule here will tell you when games are taking place both in your local time and venue time.

Where is it taking place?: Utica, New York

Where to watch:

For the first time, we will have ALL games broadcasted in USA and Canada. I am not sure how many games are going to be broadcasted outside North America, but we can reasonably assume they will at least carry their home country games

TSN will carry all games in canada

NHL Network and ESPN+ will carry a mix of the games together. See The Ice Garden's Michelle Jay's tweet for the schedule of which games are where.

SVT (Sweden)

Discovery (Finland)

Czech TV (Czechia)

Magenta (Germany)

TBS (Japan)

Swiss TV (Switzerland)

If you are not in any of these countries, or you are but are struggling to find a way to watch, please feel free to DM me and I will do my best to find you something

What is the tournament format?:

There are two divisions, Division A with the five ranked teams going into the tournament and Division B with the next five. Each division plays a round robin style ranking round, and at the conclusion the bottom two teams in Division B will be relegated, while the rest automatically make the quarterfinals. Quarterfinals will go A1-B3, A2-B2, A3-B1, A4-A5. In addition to the finals for gold that will take place, there will be a bronze medal game and a fifth place game for ranking. Standings will use a three point systems.

Who is in each division?:

Division A: USA, Canada, Czechia, Switzerland, Finland

Division B: Sweden, Japan, Germany, China, Denmark

Who are each teams?

Here is where it gets long. Below the cut I will tell you each teams roster, how they did last year, their reasonable goals, notable roster changes, and three players to watch. I will do my best to keep this informative, but brief.

USA

Roster:

(Text version available here)

2023 Result: Won Gold

2024 goals: Win gold again

Notable roster changes: This team continues to go very very young. Abby Roque is the most notable roster omission here. Top defender Lee Stecklein is also not on this roster, due to her taking a break from the National Team. Amanda Kessel was also left off, but she has not been active within the last year as a player, so not entirely surprising.

Three players to watch: Grace Zumwinkle has been one of the stars of the PWHL so far, and is likely to get more responsibility on the national team than ever before, so keep an eye on her and how she may translate her successful season to the tournament. Rory Guilday may only be 21, but she is heading to her third senior world championships, a long time favorite of the team USA coaching staff with her shutdown defensive skills who they'll hope can take another step this tournament with Lee Stecklein absent. Joy Dunne is the youngest player on this roster, just 18 years old coming off a 24-18-42 season in Ohio and a national championship. This will be her first senior level tournament, and I'd expect her to get ample offensive opportunities.

Canada

Roster

(text version available here)

2023 result: Silver

2024 goals: Gold

Notable roster changes: Micah Zandee-Hart is the most surprising one after being on the roster for a few years. Claire Thompson is absent as is Rebecca Johnston, but that is more expected while Thompson is finishing medical school and Johnston has not played in the past calendar year. Cousins Nicole and Julia Gosling join the team after strong rivalry series showings.

Three players to watch: Natalie Spooner is the front runner for PWHL MVP, so everyone will be watching to see if she continues to score at the rate she has been. Expected number one overall pick in the upcoming PWHL draft, Sarah Fillier, will be playing in her last showing before the draft happens as she finished out her college season. Nicole Gosling was the highest scoring defender in the NCAA this year at Clarkson, going 14-25-39 in 40 regular season games, so seeing how she impacts this blue line is a must watch.

Czechia

Roster

(Text version available here)

2023 result: Bronze

2024 goal: upset their opponent in the semifinals and make the finals

Roster changes: The bad news is top defender Dominika Lásková is out with injury. The good news is star goaltender Klára Peslarová is healthy unlike last year, as is blueline mainstay Tereza Radová. Alena Mills retired from the national team. Kristýna Pátková did not make the team this year, in her place comes Boston University commit Anežka Čabelová who had a stellar U18 worlds. Karolína Kosinová did not make the team, in her place is HV71 assistant captain Klara Seroiszková.

Three players to watch: 17 year old Adéla Šapovalivová was the highest scoring u18 player in the SDHL (Sweden's highest level league) this year and one of their top scorers in general going 11-18-29 in 32 regular season games. She was also a key part of the U18 team that upset Canada in the semifinals to advance to Czechia's first ever u18 final. With Mills retired, she will get more minutes at her third (!!!!) senior worlds. Next up is Klára Peslarová, and if you're not familiar with her game, she is straight up a top five goaltender in the world. She just came off a stellar season with Brynäs IF in Sweden where she had a .935 save percentage in 20 games, and has been consistently stellar on the international stage as well like when she had 55 saves against the united states at the olympics. Kateřina Mrázová is a fantastic playmaker has been a bright spot on a Ottawa tam that has struggled to find itself, and is also one of the most veteran members of this squad. If they win, she'll have to lead the way.

Finland

Roster

Text version available here

2023 finish: Fifth Place

2024 goals: Bronze

Roster changes: Two of their key offensive pieces Elisa Holopainen and Michelle Karvinen, are back and healthy this year! Susanna Tapani is also back on this team. Those are three absolute big pieces that completely change this roster for the better. A few depth roster forwards were left off in their place, most notably Kiira Yrjänen. Defense has more shakeups. Sini Karjalainen is a notable omission and long time defender Rosa Lindstedt retired. Eve Savander, Oona Koukkula, and Siiri Yrjölä slot in.

Three players to watch: I've consistently been a very big Elisa Holopainen fan and I think she's one of the best players in the world and not talked about nearly enough. Just as she began to really shine in the international stage, she got hit with injury, but as she's come back with year she dominated Finland's league going 32-25-57 in 19 games. I think I've put her as a player to watch like every year I've done a preview and I'm going to keep going it. Finland has faced a lot of questions about their goaltending following Räty and the team going their separate ways, but right now, it is Sanni Ahola's crease to lose. She was stellar in the three games she started last year for Finland in the world championship and was solid for st cloud state with a .935 save percentage in 17 starts this year. With Lindstedt's retirement, Krista Parkkonen will see more minutes, coming off a breakout sophomore year in a university of vermont program that's developed a decent amount of international blueliners.

Switzerland

Roster

(Text version here)

2023 result; 4th place

2024 goals: bronze

Roster changes: quite a lot of shake up. no Caroline spies as their mainstay backup, Alexandra Lehmann takes her place. No Sarah Forster, who wore an A and led their defense last time around. She only played 7 games in SWHL this year, so likely injury is at play.

Players to watch: it is, of course, the Alina Müller and Lara Stalder show until it isn’t. So, besides them, the players to watch are Andrea Brändli is another “top five goaltender in the world” to know, sporting a .937 in her first year playing in Sweden post a stellar college career. 18 year old Ivana Marie Wey just had a great year playing pro as Stalder’s teammate and will be important for the next Swiss wave. With no Forster, Lara Christen will take on a lot of the top defensive minutes most likely.

Sweden

Roster

(Text version available here)

2023 results: sixth

2024 hopes: return to group A

Roster changes: no Sarah Grahn which isn’t entirely expected but still a big change, in response Ida Boman gets the call. No Fanny Rask or Olivia Carlsson, who retired.

Three players to know: Ebba Hedqvist is a 17 year old elite center coming off a great performance at worlds and has an eye for playmaking that will be critical for Sweden. Maja Nylén Persson is the #1 defender of team Sweden that has consistently been the top defender by points in the SDHL and won defender of the year in 2022-2023, and she is only 23 years old. Another part of Sweden’s insane center depth is Lina Ljungblom, who will likely play in Montreal next year and had 46 points in 36 regular season games. In the various tournaments/friendlies that Sweden has played leading up to this (ie five nations cup), she has 10 goals in 15 games. These three players are truly some of my favorite in hockey right now

Japan

Roster

(Text version available here)

2023 result: 7th

2024 hopes: return to group A

Roster changes: honestly we mostly running this back. One or two u18 add ins but overall the same as 2023

Players to watch: stop me if you heard this before but Akane Shiga is very good. The PWHL Ottawa player is the only player from Japan to score against the USA, and will continue to be japans biggest threat. Another big player is Haruka Toko, one of the SDHL’s top scorers this year who had established herself as a top talent in the last two years. This year, the 27 year old had 13 goals and 30 assists in 36 games in Sweden this year. She was one of seven players in Japan to play in Sweden this year, a year that saw a new high in Japanese players going overseas to play. That also includes my last player to watch, Yoshino Enomoto, who played in switzerland and still put up around a point per game on a team that struggled (they folded in the offseason then came back and built their roster late and were ultimately relegated, but she was a bright spot in her first season there)

Fun fact: did you know three pairs of sisters play on this team? Akane and Aoi Shiga, Haruka toko and Ayaka Hitosato, and Rio and Riri Noro

Germany

Roster

(text version available here)

2023 Results: Eighth

2024 Goal: Make quarterfinals and avoid relegation

Roster changes: Both goalies behind Abstreiter last year, Chiara Schultes and Johanna May, did not make this roster with Hemmerle and Loist taking their place. The d core remains the same besides Daria Gleissner taking Heidi Strompf's place. National team vet Marie Delarbre is absent with injury, Sonja Weidenfelder did not play hockey this year and her status is uncertain, and Anne Bartsch did not make the roster. In their place we have Emily Nix, Lilli Welcke, and Lucia Schmitz.

Three players to watch: Luisa Welcke was with Germany last year, but has a second season in the NCAA under her belt and a nice depth player performance at Boston University. She will have more chances to show off her offense this tournament than in the NCAA, and I'm excited to see what she can show. Jule Schiefer had a revelation this year in the German league. From last year where she only scored 4 goals in 20 games, this year she scored 22 in 24. Let's see if she can continue this at worlds. Nina Jobst-Smith will play big defensive minutes for Germany after finishing her fourth season at Minnesota Duluth, this time serving as an assistant captain, and was nominated for 2023-24 All-WCHA Third Team. She's a two way defender who will be taking on big responsibility for Germany as she has in the past.

China

Roster

(Text Version available here)

2023 result: Promotion from Division I

2024 goal: Make quarterfinals and avoid relegation

Roster changes: Oh boy. So, like, a lot of people, and here is why: up until this tournament, China allowed dual citizens not born in China to play for them. This includes some players you may know from PWHL/NCAA like Leah Lum, Hannah Miller, Rachel Llanes, and Tia Chan. Going into this tournament, they changed the rules and those players will not be eligible, so it is a significant roster shakeup.

Three player to watch; This team is very young. Yifan Wang is 16 years old, and in her international debut scored 10 goals in 5 games in the WJC-D2A U18. This is obviously a gigantic step up in competition and very hard for a 16 year old to be playing against adults on the highest level stage of women's hockey, so I don't imagine she'll get a TON of ice time, but she is worth looking out for. Xin Fang is the veteran and star of this roster, who had 2 goal and 2 assists in the teams D1A tournament that earned them their promotion. 17 year old Dartmouth commit Grace Zhan is who I expect to be their starting goaltender. Born in Beijing, she spent the past year playing Minnesota High School Hockey and put up top numbers in a league that sees a lot of NCAA recruits.

Denmark

Roster

(Text version here)

2023 Results: Promotion from Division I

2024 hope: Make Quarterfinals and avoid relegation

Roster changes: Long time national team star and centerpiece of the team Josefine Jakobsen will no longer play for Denmark, though she will continue her club career.) Otherwise, despite some depth changes, it is mostly the same lineup.

Three players to watch: Frederikke Foss had a great year at Shattuck St Mary's u19 program and has committed to UMaine, and may be able to spark some offense Denmark will desperately need without Jakobsen. Silke Lave Glud will also be expected to carry the offense after her stellar year in the Tier 2 league in Sweden, and lead the way for younger players as one of the most experienced members of the team. Goaltender Emma-Sofie Nordström's performance at the D1A worlds was a big reason for their promotion, and she is coming off a great sophmore year at st. lawrence university where she had a .931 save percentage in 36 games and 7 shutouts. If Denmark wants to stay in the top division, she will need to steal a game for them.

[mosticonicbirdcallbracket]

MOST ICONIC BIRD CALL BRACKET: ROUND TWO: CANADA GOOSE vs. BLUE JAY

IN THE BLUE CORNER, from wetlands, fields, and golf courses across north america, give it up for the mighty CANADA GOOSE!

as anyone unfortunate enough to tangle with this beast knows, this is a fearsome bird that commands attention in the ring. not just content taking on other birds, canada geese are also known to attack humans, hissing and charging at anyone who gets too close to their goslings. less terrifying than that hiss is their characteristic honk, a throaty, hoarse noise that is primarily made by males of this species. don't miss your chance to witness the power and prowess of this feathered fighter. the canada goose is here to show the world that it's the top bird in the ring, and it won't stop until it's claimed victory!

IN THE RED CORNER, please welcome to the ring the brilliantly blue, the bold and brash, the blue jay!

the blue jay may be a corvid, but it's flashier and louder than its crow and raven cousins. this bird has striking blue feathers and a gull-like shriek that is unlike any other. the blue jay is a master of intimidation, using its piercing gaze and raucous calls to strike fear into the hearts of its opponents. this competitor is even known to imitate the calls of different hawks well enough that it's difficult to tell what bird it's coming from - something the blue jay is certainly smart enough to use to its advantage. this bird is a true champion and is here to take on all challengers!

[comiiical]

In honor of Upload season 3 being out, like for a starter from:

Stephen (Robbie Amell, Froy Gutierrez, Oliver Stark, Rudy Pankow, Chris Evans, Casey Deidrick)

Luca (Max thieriot) - His Twin

Bellamy (Grant Gustinm Rome Flynn) - Younger brother

Preston (Matt Cornett, Ed Skrein, Grey Damon) - His younger brother (although he has his own starter call so for him that one may have priority)

Allen (Brant Daugherty) - His next younger brother

Eric (Chris Wood, Lucien Laviscount) - His babiest brother

Jace (Dominic Sherwood) - His adoptive brother

Phillip Halliwell-Ward (Paul Mescal) - His son

Eri Halliwell-Ward (Danny Griffin) - His son

TJ Halliwell-Ward (Will Poulter) - His son

Sebastian Halliwell-Montgomery (Jack Gillinsky) - His son

Roman (Luke Mitchell) - His best friend

Astor (Mason Gooding) - His best friend

Frey (Dacre Montgomery) - Past life’s lover

Colt (Ryan Reynolds) - His brother-in-law

Prue (Jensen Ackles) - His dad

Andy Jr (Chris Hemsworth) - His cousin from dad's side

Piper (Murray Bartley) - His uncle

David Nolan (Josh Dallas) - His uncle

Wyatt (Jeremy Allen White) - Cousin

Mel (Tom Holland) - Cousin

Phelan (Frank Grillo) - His uncle

Teddy (Max Riemelt, Joshua Orpin) - Cousin

Derek (Tyler Hoechlin) - Cousin

Phoenix (Matt Daddario, Joshua Bassett) - Cousin

Percy (Greg Sulkin) - Cousin

Parker (Brenton Thwaites) - Cousin

Peyton (Gavin Leatherwood) - Cousin

Page (Tahmoh Penikett) - Uncle

Owen (Tom Hardy, Pablo Schreiber) - Cousin

Joel (Glen Powell, Michael Provost) - son of Owen

Tanner (Jacob Elordi) - Cousin

Keith (Nico Greetham) - Cousin

Henry (Ronen Rubinstein,Karl Urban) - Cousin

Brendon (Leo Howard, Oliver Jackson Cohen) - Cousin

Kody Jr (Tanner Buchanan) - Son of Tanner

Piers (Christopher Meloni) - Gramps

Alan (Tom Welling) - Distant ancestor

Charles (Craig Parker) - son of alan

Ken (Wes Chatham) - Son of alan

Xander (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) - distant relative

Colt (Ryan Reynolds) - Brother in law

Clive (Jake Aunstin Walker) - Son of Dacre

Yorick (Ryan Gosling) - His familiar

Penn (Oliver Jackson Cohen) - Long distant relative direct descendant from his uncle's past life

Porter (Max Irons) - Long distant relative direct descendant from his uncle's past life

Pascal or Prescott (Robert Buckley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan) - direct descendants from his father's past life

Patrick (David Harbour) - ^^ and the uncle of the ones above

Xavier Johnson (John Krasinski) - second uncle once removed

Bruno Johnson (Charlie Cox) - second uncle once removed

Gerard Johnson (Derek Theler) - second uncle once removed

Dacre Ward-Johnson (Boyd Holbrook) - second uncle once removed

JJ Johnson (Dylan OBrien) - second uncle once removed

John Johnson (Drew Starkey) - second cousin once removed

George Johnson (Harris Dickinson) - second cousin once removed

Because It is impossible for me to have them all open, I will stick to the few first set that are chosen, and stop there, if someone else is chosen and I don't haev a back and forth reply, then I will close that and make the starters for those I haven't made. I may do exclusively one liners as my brain is not in the right place right now though.

[weclassybouquetfun]

Hannah leading the TED LASSO pack.

Doing tourist tings.

"We saw you from across the bar and we like your vibe.."

With TED LASSO ending (and it is ending. I don't care about all the hedging that still persists about, "We told *this* story", the show's done. They need to hush their butts with that) it's time to look towards the future. What is on the horizon for AFC Richmond.

The cast next gigs...Oooh whee, what's up with that? What's. Up.With.That?

-Jason Sudeikis will appear in Charlie Day's directorial debut FOOL'S PARADISE.

-Hannah Waddingham: Will co-host Eurovision next month, appears in the four part Masterpiece mini TOM JONES

, will appear in THE FALL GUY with Ryan Gosling, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING Part 2, will have a Christmas special and will do voicework in Dan Harmon's animated series for Fox KRAPOPOLIS (alongside Matt Berry and Richard Ayoade) and voicework in 2024's animated film GARFIELD with Chris Pratt voicing the titular lasagne loving cat.

-Brett Goldstein: Brett will also do voice work for GARFIELD. He's also currently writing series two of Apple+'s SHRINKING

-Toheeb Jimoh can be currently seen on POWER on Amazon Prime. He's currently in rehearsals for his return to the stage in ROMEO AND JULIET for the Almedia Theatre.

-Nick Mohammed: Unsure whether the series that he created/writes and stars in INTELLIGENCE will be renewed as a series or as a wrap-up film, Nick has other works going. He costars in MAGGIE MOORES directed by John Slattery (MAD MEN) and stars Tina Fey and Jon Hamm; he will do voicework in the sequel to CHICKEN RUN titled CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET and he has a role in the upcoming Disney+ historical series THE BALLAD OF RENEGADE NELL which will star Alice Kremelberg (ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK), Frank Dillane, Joely Richardson and Craig Parkinson.

-Jeremy Swift: Will do voice work in the animated cat caper 10 LIVES joining Bill Nighy, Sophie Okonedo and Simone Ashley. Jeremy also joins the Disney Descendants universe for the musical DESCENDANTS: THE RISE OF RED. He currently has a cd out.

-Phil Dunster: Phil is sticking around Apple TV+ for the time being as he joined series two of their drama SURFACE which stars Gugu Mbatha-Raw (the first season saw her opposite Oliver Jackson-Cohen).

-Juno Temple: Juno was already in the DC universe with a role in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, but now she joins Brett and Cristo in the Marvel world with a role in the upcoming VENOM 3. She also has a role in the upcoming EVEREST about George Mallory's attempt at scaling the mountain. It will star Ewan McGregor, Sam Heughan and Mark Strong. However, before all that, expect to see her in series 5 of FARGO.

-Cristo Fernandez is a jobbing actor. You will hear him in TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEAST as Wheeljack

he will do voicework in SCOOB! HOLIDAY HAUNT, he appears in four shorts, the feature 3 FLOWERS and it was just announced that he's joining series 3 of Apple TV+'s ACAPULCO and the Disney+ adaptation of ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY.

-Moe Jeudy-Lamour (Thierry Zoreaux Van Damme) will costar in the sequel to cousins Stephen and Robbie Amell's film CODE 8. It will be released on Netflix.

New Village People has dropped.

-Moe Hashim: Moe will costar in Roland Emmerich's gladiator series THOSE ABOUT TO DIE.

-Charlie Hiscock: Will appear in Yorgos Lanthimos' POOR THINGS alongside Margaret Qualley, Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe and Mark Ruffalo.

-Sarah Niles: Will turn up in the long gestating reboot of THE TOXIC AVENGER starring Peter Dinklage, Jane Levy, Elijah Wood, Kevin Bacon and Jacob Tremblay. She can currently be seen in ITVX's RICHES.

-James Lance: Always one for voicework, James has lent his talent to the short HANGING which is the writer debut of background Greyhound Joe Street (far right).

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Chapter 11 on AO3

“Slower, girl. Slower! By all that is holy – do they not read books in Kerak?”

Sibylla lay sprawled on her bed, half-buried under a heap of tasselled cushions and silks. She had been complaining of a headache all day, but when she heard Isolt and Fenie approach, she feebly lifted her head, keeping a hand pressed to her brow to prevent her cold compress from slipping. “Ah,” she said, sinking back into the mattress. “There you are. I need some refreshment to combat all the words that child is butchering.”

Seeing Isabella cringe in her high-backed chair, Isolt very nearly cringed along with her. Her own truce with the queen still stood on shaky legs, too new to carry much weight, and Isolt was still frighteningly aware that Sibylla was watching her every move.

She had, after all, admitted to it herself.

“I saw you, you know,” Sibylla had mentioned casually one evening out in the gardens, mere days ago. Hitching up her skirts with one hand, she had sat beside Isolt on the rim of the trickling fountain, close enough that their knees touched. “You and my esteemed cousin, at my lord husband’s tourney. You seemed rather … familiar with one another, non?”

It had taken Isolt her all not to drop the embroidery she’d been working on into the water. Yet something in her face must have betrayed her, for Sibylla had smiled at her, with the deceptive mildness of a cat that has placed its soft paw on the mouse’s tail. “Oh, don’t look so caught out! Thought you were being discreet, poor gosling, did you?”

Isolt felt as though a rug had been pulled from under her feet. “My lady,” she stammered, curling her fingers round the cool stone of the fountain’s ledge. “Madam, I hardly –”

She and Lord Tiberias? In some small corner of her mind, of course, she had expected that such an accusation might be levelled at the two of them eventually. After all, they saw each other often; and though they took some precautions with choosing the time and place for their meetings, none of it was clandestine, exactly. Why, Tiberias was a married man! And he did not strike her as being of the unfaithful sort of husbands that prowled about court, chasing after every skirt. Besides, he was so much older than her. And even if – if one of them were to even consider – surely, then, he’d prefer someone else. Some older lady, perhaps, whom he’d known for years; a grave and much more worldly-wise person than her, who’d whisper daring, heated words into his ear at night, but would dress again at the crack of dawn and return to her husband’s quarters with scarcely a perfunctory peck on her lover’s cheek. Or perhaps -

Isolt had reined in her shameful fancies with some effort before they galloped away with her entirely. But when she had looked up again, her cheeks were burning, and she’d known Sibylla had her precisely where she’d wanted her.

“I must admit,” Sibylla had said, idly trailing a hand through the leaf-strewn water, “it quite surprised me the old fox still shows interest in you. Be warned – he has a habit of dropping people once they have served their purpose in his schemes. And I cannot for the life of me see what advantage an insignificant thing like you might win him, at present. Not with my husband, that’s for certain, what with your connection to William Marshal! If it were influence he wanted, my lord Tiberias had better seduce Reynald’s horse than bother with the likes of you.” A pensive expression crossed her features; she gave a shrug. “Well, I suppose his years are beginning to mellow him. You have some little charm, I grant, when you choose to put some effort into it …”

Perhaps it was the veiled jab at her pride that made Isolt find her voice. “Nothing untoward has passed between the count and I, Your Grace,” she said, hoarse but firm. “I assure you.”

Sibylla had laughed at that, somewhat shrilly, as if she found Isolt’s desperation both familiar and hideously entertaining. “No assurances needed, ma chère. I heard of those poor young fellows you recently jilted so recklessly. That fierce little German – and one of Scandalion’s scions, was it?” Her gaze grew sharp. “Just out of curiosity, was my cousin the one who convinced you to set your sights a little higher?”

Set my sights a little higher? Isolt had almost recoiled. She knew everything was a game of ambition in this place, all the perilous climbs and descents from the cradle to the grave, but she had ill considered how her own actions would be read. She believes she deserves better, the silly chit. That was what Severijn had said about her decision, quite deliberately within hearing range, and she’d seen him preen when his friends had jeered. And yet, deep down, wasn’t that exactly what she believed? That she deserved a life without the constant jingling of fear at the back of her skull, beside someone who didn’t trample on her views, her trust? Someone to whom she was more than a mere connection made with some other man, some prize to be won?

Read the rest here :)

[feydfuckernation]

i love my cousin's wife but i will literally never forgive her for saying she refused to see barbie because ryan gosling is an ugly old man. ma'am he is 43 years old.

[bubblebuckys]

my recent sierra six kick, a fever, and watching barbie before taking a nap, made for a hell of a dream lmao

im putting this here so i can go back and remember this dream but also if anyone is interested in taking a look and maybe having a little giggle

i was a new barbie in barbieland, specifically the ordinary barbie gloria pitches toward the end of the movie and so i wasn’t always as bubbly as the other barbies and had ordinary hobbies and an ordinary home and job. so i felt like i couldn’t relate to the other barbie and kens even though they tried befriending me.

so they still invited me to all the parties that i never went to, except for the latest one because i was trying to fit in more. but apparently i wasn’t the only party irregular. enter: trained agent ken, who received a depression-barbie-slash-lucas-lee-style introduction, zoom-ins and explosions and all. he’s quiet, he’s mysterious, guarded, and, yes, very much just court gentry renamed as ken. apparently he and ryan gosling!ken were distant cousins.

i was at the sidelines of the party avoiding the choreographed dance—and my feelings about not knowing the steps as the others did. everyone else not part of the dance (but definitely aware of it’s steps) was excitedly greeting six/ken, so glad he made it back safe from his last mission. they asked him how it was, if he ever got injured during, if he had a gun, if his enemies had guns. has he ever gotten shot? how does that even feel? he understood their fascination because there aren’t weapons in babieland and it was just child-like interest, but it was overwhelming for him nonetheless. because, reminder, this ken is quiet and mysterious.

and so he managed to escape the ones asking questions and now, he, too, was avoiding the dance. turning away whenever any of the other barbies and kens got close enough they would have recognized him if he hadn’t. at one turn mermaid!barbie had been behind him, just about to make eye contact so he jumped behind the tree that i had been leaning against on the other side of and so he hadn’t seen me. i jumped and spilled whatever drink i had onto the floor and turned just to see who had bumped into me.

six!ken felt bad when he heard my drink fall because he knew how extravagant the clothes were and so he stayed so he could apologize instead of running before i noticed who he was. none of the drink actually fell on my clothes though, so he saw that while my outfit was pretty it was not as outrageous (i wouldn’t use that word but i cant think of a better one) as the others. he also realized he had never met me.

i forget what i said but I was a little rude, which kind of impressed six!ken, im guessing because everyone is so nice in babrieland that he hadn’t been expecting that?, but other than that he disregarded it. he bluntly stated that i was new, and after some attitude on both ends we introduced ourselves. ken decided to stay talking to me because after i learned about his job i only made a comment about it sounding dangerous before i moved on.

we spent the rest of the night talking casually, nothing too deep, and by the end of it i was invited to stay for girls night. i promised i would stay next time because it was way past the time i usually went to sleep, and then six!ken offered to walk me home even though i just lived down the street (his spidey-senses were tingling)

BUT! in the middle of the night someone broke into my house and they were trying to kidnap me. i was fighting but obviously i was not a fighter. which is when six!ken showed up and fought off the four strange men, where he came from we dont know, and he told me we had go to the real world to hide and get answers.

and unfortunately that’s when i woke up :((

(also this is never explicitly mentioned but six!ken is regularly going to and leaving the real world and somehow its not messing up reality ? but wtv. and this is basically where the sierra program came into play in this universe lol. since we have that part in barbie where the cia/fbi calls mattel to let them know a barbie is on the loose we know they are aware of the possibility of these dolls coming to life. and because the sierra program is just the cia using people who have no record of existence to complete missions off the books, who’s a better candidate for that than a fucking ken doll, right?)

[brookswackermanfeetcam]

I was actually pretty hype about the Barbie movie when it was announced because well I’m just a girl and then the plot was revealed and it was like. Oh that’s stupid. And then the movie came out and people were saying it was basically an ad idk it’s probably not that severe because obviously a lot of people liked it too but the general public is often wrong. Also I don’t like gosling he’s always reminded me of the cousin I don’t talk to

[grilledkatniss]

What reminds you of home?(not the house, just things that remind you of the feeling) Do you believe in astrology? Now, say three nice things about yourself.

Don't think I have a home or some feeling I associate with home. I have like.. idk a few moments in time when things felt just right and I guess I felt safe and healthy and loved and normal, like a small period of time before middle school, and that's probably why I don't remember much of it but get a sense of comfort and simplicity. Like as if there was a right way to do childhood. Some smells and tastes and sounds take me back there. The summer mostly. But there's no specific place to be reminded of. Come to think of it maybe like summer camp or my aunts house when we'd travel there during most summer vacations, before it got too expensive to afford for 2 grumpy adults and 3 no longer toddlers. Like the smell of gasoline reminds me of being in my aunts car with my sisters and my cousin coming back from the mall where they painted whiskers on our faces bc they were doing promo for some local children's movie we couldn't afford tickets for.

I don't believe in astrology but I love constellations and a clear night sky far away from the city lights. I actually have been sleeping on my parents backyard these last few days just so that I could fall to sleep looking at the stars. There was also supposed to be a meteor shower going on this week but didn't see any meteor showering anywhere. When I was in high school and depression and anxiety weren't real words in anyone's vocabulary in a small conservative town for a lonely awkward mopey girl, there was one star I named Lauren that I'd always be eager to see and talk to. I'd be like "it's the second shiniest star on that side, far removed from the rest and the moon". It didn't occurred to me till years after that like... the earth rotates on itself and also around the sun, and the moon around us as well, while outter space "stays put" (it doesn't either) so of course the star wouldn't be in the same place all year round and couldn't use the moon as a reference point.. and I legit would cry when I couldn't find it. But also like up till the second year of college I thought the moon being right on top of you meant it was midnight, like the same logic as with the sun so feel free to judge my dumb ass.

I'm mostly always well intentioned, and empathetic but in a weird logical way. Like someone having x feelings and x reactions makes sense to me in x context taking into account x precedent and x experience etc, you know what I mean? I don't tend to get caught up in my own feelings anymore.. no one but my ex can really say I'm a mean person and mean it. (But he can go fuck himself, acting like Ryan Gosling's character in the second half of the notebook, absolute victim of neglect and accusing me of breaking his heart for sport, the manipulative lil shit). Let's say those are three different unrelated nice things about me.

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at home:

Ok, I have two parents and they both have two sisters. (My poor dad, since all of his dogs and cats and children are also biologically female, but honestly he’s really enjoyed his relationships with my married in uncles or my male cousins and expects his children to be competent and independent) So the actual meat of the story is that three out of my four aunts were in town this weekend, on top of me getting both of my siblings in town at the same time.

Notable events:

Middle sister is actually working on a really cool buffalo bones archeology project.

Youngest sibling got their drivers license. (Absolutely hates driving, which is completely understandable, I hate driving in general as well)

My aunt who lives in the same city as me had a GIANT birthday bash (basically all 20 of us went to the movies and then to my mom’s house)

I’m about 80% certain that my bisexual cousin is slowly introducing us to the dude who is his actual boyfriend but is currently just passing off as his friend from work.

My aunt from out of state got me sick and I literally passed out on a couch and sweated out a fever during a party of 20 people and my mom’s only comment was “I’m so glad you’re comfortable and safe enough in my house to crash that hard with that many people around”

My grandpa walks three miles every day and knows exactly where the baby Canada gooses are (and I suggest you let that one marinate) ALSO, he knows where all the turtles and ducks and herons hang out. We saw four turtles, five goslings with parents, six pairs of mated mallards, one lone female mallard, and one blue heron.

Zelda puppy was very very tired after four days of playing and three mile walks, but my fur sisters (my mom’s dogs) are very grateful that she’s back with me and husbo now.

Overall it was a great weekend and I’m so happy to have had so many people in town and hanging out at the same time, I just wish I hadn’t gotten the flu right in the middle of it.

[papillon82fluttersby]

Famous Five Art Nostalgia #16 – Part 3

Introductory post

Part 1

Part 2

Five Go to Billycock Hill – Le Club des Cinq et les papillons

Original publication date: 1957 (UK), 1962 (France)

(Cover art by Jean Sidobre, 1983)

Plot summary (adapted from Wikipedia):

The Five are camping on Billycock Hill, near the farm of Toby Thomas, a boy who goes to the same school as Julian and Dick and loves jokes and pranks. The Five meet Toby’s parents, who are very welcoming, as well as his little brother Benny, who never goes anywhere without his pet pigling Curly.

(Holiday planning!)

(Off to Billycock Hill)

(Five meet Toby’s adorable little brother, Benny – Timmy seems very intrigued by the little boy’s pet pigling, Curly 🐷)

(Poor little Benny is often the recipient to Toby’s practical jokes and pranks!)

(On the way to find a nice camping place up Billycock Hill – Timmy’s heading the way along with Toby’s collie Binky [Clairon])

Toby is delighted with his visitors and wastes no time showing them around, such as leading them to a lovely pool where they can enjoy a refreshing swim, although they soon get told off by an Air Force officer for trespassing on military property. They also meet the eccentric Mr Gringle, one of the owners of a nearby butterfly farm, who gives them a visit.

(Meet Mr Gringle)

(Toby delights in practical jokes, in this case scaring the girls with a fake spider 🕷️)

(Toby brings the Five to a lovely pool, ignoring the “DANGER – KEEP OUT” sign in front of it… what could go wrong?)

Back to Billycock Farm, the Five meet Toby’s cousin Jeffrey, a flight-lieutenant at the neighbouring airfield.

(A zoological interlude: “Tea was now ready and they all drew up their chairs. Benny wandered in with his pigling 🐷 under his arm, and set it down in the cat’s basket, where it stayed quite peacefully, falling asleep and making tiny, grunting snores. / ‘Does the cat 😺 mind?’ asked George, astonished, looking at the basket. / ‘Not a bit,’ said Mrs Thomas. ‘It had to put up with two goslings 🪿🪿last year in its basket – and something the year before…’ / ‘A lamb 🐑,’ said Toby. / ‘Oh yes – and old Tabby – that’s the cat 🐈– didn’t seem to worry at all,’ said Mrs Thomas, pouring out creamy milk for everyone, even Cousin Jeff. ‘I once found her curled up round the goslings one morning, purring loudly.’”)

A big storm occurs that night, and the campers’ evening gets disturbed, first when they see Mr Gringle’s associate Mr Brent roaming the area, supposedly looking for moths, and then when Timmy puts up a fuss at seemingly nothing, before they all hear the sound of an aeroplane flying away.

(A stormy night...)

(... really stormy!)

The weather is still rainy in the morning, so the Five decide to go visit a local tourist spot: Billycock Caves. At some point during their visit, they hear some horrible whistling noises that scare them away.

When they hear from the radio that Toby's cousin Jeff and a fellow pilot, Ray Wells, are reported to have defected and stolen the newest aeroplanes that were being developed at the airfield, the Five and Toby are shocked. The media later reports that Jeff and Ray crashed their planes and drowned at sea. Toby refuses to believe that Jeff was a spy.

(The military police interrogate Mrs Janes, who works as a servant at the butterfly farm)

After poking around and talking to Mr Gringle, the children realise that the so-called “Mr Brent” whom they saw during the stormy night was an impostor, and that something fishy is going on at the butterfly farm. That night, Julian, Dick and Toby do some snooping around there.

(Investigators deep in discussion…)

(Julian and Dick on a mission)

(Julian espies Mrs Janes’ son at the farm)

They learn from Mrs Janes, the house servant, that her layabout son Will has been hiding four men who have been watching the airfield day and night. The Five bring this information to Toby’s father, who gets in touch with the police, and it is confirmed that the two pilots who died were spies, but that Jeff and Ray are prisoners at an unknown location.

(Five on their way to Billycock Farm to bring news about their investigations)

As the Five attempt to comfort Toby while helping around at the farm, they realise that little Benny and his pigling have disappeared. They search for the missing pair all around the farm, and finally find Benny next to the entrance to Billycock Caves, upset that the pigling “runned away” inside the caves.

The pigling does find his way back to the farm on his own later on, with a message leading the children to find Jeff and Ray imprisoned in Billycock Caves. The prisoners are rescued and all ends well!

(Heroes of the day!)

~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

[lila-rae]

Because @jechristine hates me, she asked me to pick my top 9 films. It’s like picking my favorite children out of hundreds. So here’s a top 9 but they’re not ranked in any particular order cause it’s impossible. Also pretty sure this list would make Scorsese cry.

Up the first 10 minutes of the movie is the best storytelling I’ve ever seen in a movie, and if you don’t agree you’re just wrong

Juno this movie balances the seriousness and implications of teen pregnancy and adoption with such peak 2000s teen humor. My love forever

Love & Basketball Monica & Quincy forever. It’s where my childhood friends to enemies to lovers and back and forth all started. It’s messy but so is real life

Crazy, Stupid, Love a great movie. Ryan Gosling has abs, they do the dirty dancing lift, the backyard scene. It’s just so good. My husband and I rewatch all the time.

Romeo + Juliet Shakespeare’s words but make the setting modern. It’s where I fell in love with a young Leo. Plus that scene with the aquariums while I’m kissing you is playing. It’s so tragic and beautiful

Team America: World Police it’s South Park with puppets. I think I first watched this at like 12 or 13 with my older cousins (sorry mom) and it was my first rated R movie. It’s just a movie shitting on American foreign policy and I appreciate that.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail How can you not love this movie. It’s so absurd and I’m in stitches every time I watch it.

My Girl if I want to cry I put on this movie. His fucking glasses 😭

Fantastic Mr. Fox I blame my Wes Anderson loving husband but we quote this so much “that’s just weak song writing, you wrote a bad song Petey” that I think part of my love is because it’s a part of our relationship. But it is a fantastic (no pun intended) movie.

Honorable Mention (because I can’t choose just 9 I’m sorry)

But I’m a Cheerleader pretty sure this movie told me I was bisexual before I knew myself. The call was coming from inside the house. But it’s a classic and hilarious.

Spider-Man: Far From Home this would have been in the top 9 if not for NWH. It was my comfort movie I used to watch at least weekly and now 😔

That was brutal.

[mentoslol]

SO SO SO tempted to pirate the Barbie movie but my cousins want to watch it together when we are all together in like two weeks but idk if I can wait that long 🫠🫠🫠 like it looks so good and I love Margot Robbie and people are saying that it’s really really good and that Ryan gosling was born to play ken and stuff like UGHHH don’t do this to me

[academicvulture]

Open mouth, insert foot...

Dear readers, I regularly tell my housemates (often amidst please for forgiveness) that I have a strong genetic predisposition to foot-in-mouth disease. Today, I describe to you the symptoms of a flare-up.

On a zoom call with my Dad’s side of the family, we were discussing the rapid transition of Canada Goose goslings from endearing yellow fuzzball to awkward grey gangle, a long-running debate on the overall adorableness of the pestilential beasties (said adorableness is scientifically proven to be inversely proportional to the proximity of the observer). I, a grown adult distracted by the crochet project I’m hoping to finish today, had not a single precautionary thought before tossing out “well, teenagers just aren’t attractive.”

In the awkward pause that followed, I wondered if my joke about the awkwardness of puberty for all animals had been misunderstood or just fallen flat...

...Then someone pointed out… my youngest cousin—present on the call—is still a teenager.

Open mouth, insert foot—the usual routine. Readers, how I scrambled to backtrack. How I panicked! I explained I didn’t, I really didn’t mean, I had forgotten; I turned it back on myself, saying how awkward I was, how thoughtless. I tell my roommates, I said, that I have a genetic predisposition to foot-in-mouth disease.

No, I’ve made a mistake. Let me clarify. Eighty percent of my living patrilineal genetic relatives were on that call, including both grandparents. And both of my parents. And I said I had a genetic predisposition to foot-in-mouth disease. So no, reader, it’s not accurate to say ‘open mouth, insert foot.’

Rather, it's open mouth, insert foot, chew.

I texted my Mom after. Among other things, I assured her I meant it as a patrilineal genetic condition. She, dear woman, married into this family many decades ago; she said, trust me, I know.

[loumands]

Prayer circle for Ryan Gosling pulling off Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny