#got a bitch thirsty

[sins-spookyboogie]

I just needed to post the up close version of this for reasons I will not expand on.

CR : boys over the moon

[multifandominfj]

“Against The Clock” was a horrible movie, probably would’ve been better if it were sapphic, but DAMN…

Dianna Agron kicking the CIA’s ass for covering up her husband’s death…my cup of tea. 👏🏻😮‍💨🤤

[what-yadoking-likes]

The heisters occasionally hold ‘Slides Parties’.

The premise is very simple - any heister who wants to participate as a presenter can do so. They must prepare and present a short PowerPoint presentation on the topic of their choosing - and it can, indeed, be on absolutely ANYTHING - under 10 minutes in length, and then their captive audience are free to ask a few questions before the next presentation.

Of course, sometimes the presentations descend into chaos, because the presenter is a chaotic entity - nobody expected Duke’s presentation to be of this sort.

“Well,” Duke began, smiling broadly at his audience, “it’s so wonderful to have the opportunity to talk to you all about my passion - art!

“But I am no fool. I know not everyone shares my appreciation for paintings and sculptures.” He sighed, as if disappointed in his coworkers.

“So that’s why I thought I’d share with you my favourite - and I’m trying to use language all of you will understand - horniest art.”

He clicks the mouse, and this image appears on-screen:

“First, we have Perseus with the head of Medusa by Cellini. Lovely work, truly - but perhaps we ought to rename it Perseus with a bubble butt. I believe it was Sydney who taught me that, ah, delightful phrase.”

Sydney nodded, grinning and cackling to herself in the corner, a can of beer clasped loosely in her fingers.

“Now-” Another click -

“Does anyone know who this is?”

Immediately the heisters began shouting out various theories.

“Jesus!”

“The angel Gabriel!”

“BAIN!”

Raucous laughter, followed by a hollow beep, and: “I wish.”

The suggestions continue, until finally someone gets it.

“My next Grindr hook-up!”

“Satan-”

“Yes! This is Lucifer, the fallen angel, the devil Himself.”

“Damn,” Sokol whistled, leaning forward on his knees with his elbows, “really do wish he was next Grindr hookup. He’s a... handsome devil.”

Duke managed to only show one more picture before his time was up.

“This has all been rather... male centric so far. So, how about the Ecstasy of St Teresa? Uh, literally.”

“What,” Hoxton asked, once the uproar had somewhat died down, “err. What’s got her so...”

“She’s having a religious experience, of course,” Duke answered, barely able to contain his own laughter. “She’s having a most holy, spiritual moment, Hoxton.”

[driptape]

HAPPY ONE YEAR FRIENDIVERSARY

did i rewrite this like ten times ? yes , yes , tf i did bc it keeps getting too long and idk ... as much as i love you , i'm too shy for this lol . i'm throwing up words and can't stop . annywaayy , you know my ass is super aesthetic and extra af so there's no way i couldn't not do this so get ready for a public declaration of my love . i can't remember the exact date i messaged you , but i do know it was the best decision i've made on this site . ofc , it didn't take long for me to be attached . i mean , look at our babies ... could you blame me ? this past year has been such a rollercoaster ( for both of us personally as well as our messy-ass children ) , but i'm so happy we're in it together . you're so supportive and smart and funny and kind . i live for your rants and just talking things out . i love the way your mind works and all the ideas that come . i'm reminded of how lucky i am to have you in my life every time i get a message from you . we're so similar in the most random ways and different enough to fit like a perfect little puzzle . i literally look forward to talking to you all of the time and i miss you so much when you're sleeping . truly , FUCK TIMEZONES bc i would stay up all day with you if i could . it's impossible for me to ever forget or doubt your love for me because we literally say it daily . but today especially i want and need you to know that I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH . like more than cleo and tonio ... more than oma and blake ... more than our babies combined . you said sometime in december that i'm stuck with you and you're right because i won't let you go now and i couldn't be happier . while we're mostly joking , it's still funny that we're both just as possessive and jealous of every other partner we have despite knowing our place . i can go on forever about our kids . i love getting to know you and your babies and i'm so excited for year two for us . my platonic soulmate . my bestie . my twin flame . i love ya babes <3333 happy annii !! also happy anni to our firstborns and hopefully they'll be happy for once .

[saffyink]

meet robin, my swashbuckling space pirate from a thirsty sword lesbians one shot (she/her/he/him)

every ten years or so, i redesign robin into whatever oc universe im into at the time and they're consistently a genderfucked ginger

[cloveroctobers]

Listen let’s be real here, Ivy ain’t got shit on us.

[waitingonthewind]

autism life hack: someone else in the household has had the audacity to use YOUR glass, but you dont wanna be a complete dickhole in reclaiming it? gather and wash ALL the dirty dishes so no one will notice the depths of your Problems

[the-kipsabian]

pardon me but my intel tells me kip be serving cake tonight and i am dying

[moonlightsdew]

Hey anyone feel like donating to me for Valentine's Day so I can get an Alastor body pillow-

[sins-spookyboogie]

Holy mother of Christ! I...I jus...💀💀 I'ma go die now . RIP to my sanity since these two are driving what little I had out!

How am I supposed to find somebody when these two set my standard 😩🤡.

[multifandominfj]

Like, how is this woman even real?! Seriously, I just barked at my phone. I just WHISTLED! I need to be sedated. 😮‍💨🤤😂

[writingouthere]

singlemom!reader x neighbor!sukuna. you miss having a baby and Sukuna is dying from a combination of your sexual tension, his lowkey(highkey) baby fever and the drudgery of attending a child's birthday party

cw: Sukuna's breeding kink, red flags are present and accounted for, no one gets laid tho so sad face. this actually ended up being way more sincere and heartfelt than I intended but honestly very typical of me

"Oh we're not together, Sukuna's just been letting me and Bug crash while we look for an apartment."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend, we're just friends!"

"He's actually not Bug's dad. No, no. But, they get along really well. She enjoys having someone else to hang out with aside from me, I think."

Your laughter after the last one plays on repeat as he goes to grab the two of you some refreshments. Sukuna feels like he's living the world's worst version of groundhog day, except instead of being some sad loser who relives the same day over and over, he's apparently a sad loser who is going to live the same conversation over and over again.

"Fuck this shit."

"Um, excuse me but could you watch your language. This is a kid's birthday party." Sukuna wants to ask the bitch who is correcting a grown man's language if he would mind watching his own fucking business but you seem to care about what these losers think and he won't make life difficult for you.

If he happens to step on the guy's foot as he leaves with two cups and a juice box caught in his elbow, well, his steel toed boots need the exercise.

Sukuna knew that if any of his acquaintances, he didn't have friends after all, could see him now, they would die laughing. Die ,because he would kill them for laughing, but fuck he couldn't even really blame them, even in his hypothetical.

Once upon a time, Sukuna was a feared criminal. People pissed themselves when he cornered them in a dark alley. Other bad guys would look at him and say, "wow that guy's a real piece of shit" and now look at him. Stuck at some three year old's birthday party. One more kidzpop butchering of an already shitty song away from committing another felony.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he knew he was at least getting some pussy out of it, but he had just spent the past two hours hearing you deny him to anyone who asked and it was really starting to get to him.

He knew he was being a little bitch about it, and he wasn't upset just because you weren't fucking him. He was upset that all the things you were telling people, they were technically true. He was just letting you and your daughter crash. He was just your friend, not your boyfriend. Even the comments about him not being Bug's dad, but him being positioned as some kind of really invested babysitter, those might have stung more than the ones about your relationship but you thought that was true too.

Thinking about the kid made him look for her, not that Sukuna ever wasn't aware of where you and your daughter were. It had become instinct before he was even aware of it.

Bug was laughing with some kids he recognized from daycare and others from their regular trips to the park. Her happiness was contagious and Sukuna found his lips twitching up at the ends despite his shitty mood.

Your daughter's eyes found him from across the playground. "kuna!" she called, waving her little hand at him. He waved back with his available hand and made his way towards her. She met him halfway, her little legs unsteady on the wood chips but she didn't seem to notice. She was always like that when she saw him, she ran fearlessly. Maybe she just trusted he'd catch her.

Was it so wrong of him that he didn't like the reminders she wasn't his. That it stung, not just because of his feelings but because it just couldn't be true. He might not have fathered her, but fuck anyone who said this little girl wasn't his.

"I got you a juice, you've been running around so much you gotta be thirsty."

"Not thirsty," Bug argued leaning into him. He held up his hands that were holding the grown up drinks for the two of you, and moved the package still lodged in the crease of his elbow towards the petulant toddler. "Take it, or I'll drink it."

Bug stuck her tongue out at him and grabbed it. She struggled to get the wrapping off the straw and Sukuna didn't even notice what he was doing until she had the straw stretched out towards him and he was pulling the wrapper off with his teeth. He spit it out on the ground as your daughter gave him a polite thank-you and then walked away, sipping her juice as she went to catch up with her friends.

What had become of him?

"Need a hand?" You smile at him and Sukuna hands over your cup before taking a sip of his own. There was unfortunately no alcohol in it but drinking it occupied his mouth before he acted like a pussy and asked you, "what are we?" or "should we get married?" or something equally as pathetic.

"God, I want a baby."

Sukuna almost spit out his drink but he manages to tone it down to just a little cough before turning to look at you. You don't even seem a little embarrassed which is just infuriating. Sukuna's about to make a suggestion on how he can help with that when you sigh and point to where some loser is holding their ugly baby.

"Aren't babies just the cutest, I miss when Bug was that age."

Oh, so this was just you looking at other people's red-faced brats and feeling nostalgic and was not in fact a call to action. Sukuna rolled his eyes and leaned back on the hand closest to you so he didn't touch you as he was so tempted to do these days.

"That baby, like all babies, is hideous. All they do is cry, shit themselves and vomit and I'm not even sure Bug is the exception to that and she's the best kid there is."

You look touched at his affection for your daughter but also fired up on behalf of babies everywhere.

"You can't just say a baby is hideous, Sukuna. Those are the Zenin's. Bug is friends with some of them."

"Well are the older ones cuter, because that baby looks like someone fucked one of those hairless cats."

"Sukuna!" you hiss but he sees you smile, despite yourself. "Okay, maybe that baby isn't like the cutest baby-"

"Hideous."

You continue after smacking his arm. "But Bug was cute, okay. And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom." You take out your phone and quickly swipe until you get to what you're looking for. "See, cute baby."

Sukuna grabs your phone and looks. It's not the first picture he's seen of a young Bug and he's taken his share of photos of her himself, but he finds himself taken in by it anyway.

It has to be a picture from when Bug was really young, she still had the scrunched up, red face that he associates with newborns. But he thinks you're right, she's still cute. He doesn't know if it's because he knows that baby will grow up to be your daughter, but he finds his thumb caressing her little baby cheeks, the wisps of hair he can see peaking out from where she's wrapped in a baby blanket. It's then he sees she's not alone in the picture and there's a different version of you holding her.

The thing that stands out to him is how tired you look. He thinks this couldn't have been too long after you gave birth but still, he wondered if you'd gotten any rest those first few months. You still didn't like talking about your ex, or the circumstances that had led you to his apartment, but Sukuna knew that chances are you were taking care of Bug single handedly and that couldn't have been easy, cutest kid or not.

"She was beautiful, she still is." He reluctantly hands the phone back to you and you look at the picture again, tears building up in your eyes.

"She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I wish that the circumstances were different in how I got her. Sometimes, I wonder how I'll explain everything to her when she's older. She just deserves so much better than him, you know?"

"You both do." Sukuna reaches over and brushes away one of the tears that had managed to fall down your cheek. He leaves his hand there a moment, holding your cheek in his palm, just appreciating the warmth.

"Do you want any?"

"What?" Sukuna isn't sure what you're talking about anymore. He can only see your lips right in front of him, the way that your eyelashes brush against your cheek as you blink faster and faster.

"Babies, do you want any?"

Something short circuits in Sukuna's brain and he wants to say, fuck yes.

He wants to tell you that he thinks about it every day. Every time you put Bug on your hip or send him youtube videos of hairstyles you want to try on her. Whenever it's late at night, and little feet pad out of your room and Bug asks him in the loudest whisper he's ever heard, if he can get her some water because she's so thirsty.

He thinks about it when the sun streams through the curtains of his apartment in the morning and it lights up your hair as you move throughout the kitchen, a force of nature, a creature from somewhere far too good to have ended up here with him.

He thinks about it when the three of you go out and people just assume you're a family, because of course you're a family. When you and Bug play some made up game, or Bug gets tired even though she denies it and he carries her sleeping form against his chest. When he holds her in his lap on the subway and you lean to rest your head on his shoulder and he feels like this, this is what he's always wanted.

He's not all pure and good though, because he thinks about it late at night in his bedroom too. After a day of your smiles, of seeing your thighs stretch out of those sleep shorts you started wearing when the weather warmed up, whenever he remembers the feel and smell of your panties when he's lucky enough to find a pair in the laundry basket, he thinks about how the two of you would make some really cute fucking babies.

He's imagined it a million ways. He's imagined you telling him you've gone off your birth control and you need him now after he takes you out on an anniversary dinner. Or him crowding you up against the kitchen counter and you begging him to put a baby in you.

His favorite fantasy is currently one where you get so carried away when you finally finally fuck that you don't ask him to wear a condom and he spends the whole night making sure you're nice and good and full of him and when you tell him a few weeks later you missed your period, he'll let you freak out. But then he'll tell you that he'll take good care of you, and Bug, and your soon to be little one and he'll finally have you, all of you and once you have your second, he'll knock you up again, as many times as he can because there could never be too many mini-you's running around.

At this point, Sukuna remembers he's talking to you, the real you and he swallows a few times before he speaks.

"I do," he says simply but something must show on his face because you're looking at him in a way you never have before. He hears your breath hitch and he leans in to kiss you, and you smell so good and his thoughts are consumed by the little family he just knows you're going to have when suddenly he's pelted by a variety of sharp, little objects.

Sukuna immediately holds up his arm to shield you from what he now sees is a barrage of wood chips which are being thrown at you by an army of toddlers, including your daughter.

You immediately get up and start talking to the kids about the danger of throwing what are basically large future splinters at people's faces and Sukuna is contemplating the murder of every child that isn't his own when you turn to look at him.

You're not just looking at him, you're seeing him and oh. Maybe he would be getting laid tonight, after all.

The slow burn is almost done folks.

thank you to the amazing reception to this series and the one-shot I posted(which there will be a prequel of soon!). it's literally so insane. Masterlist will be up tomorrow which I hope helps with accessibility!

edit: masterlist is up!

[getodrools]

What about sucking getos dick with Gojo instead😏

Suguru’s cock is hard. Scratch that, he's swollen—practically throbbing an inch bigger than usual from the rush coursing through him… Poor boy, he gets so overwhelmed when both of his lovers attend to him; hair falling loosely from its knot, face flushed out into a sickening pink with features either wide or squeezed tight, even his hands went pale and clammy – feeling how sweaty he's got as Getō tries to help your hips roll in tenderly mushes against his base…

He was aching the way the plush of your thighs squished around his thick and throbbing length of cockmeat. Smothering slippery folds back and forth — perk ass even bumping into the point of Gojo’s nose when you'd bottom out.

Gojo sat prettily on his knees beneath while you worked along Getō’s nth-inch bitch breaker. He was sitting almost politely too—stroking up your thighs with feathery touches, even squeezing your doughy globes to sandwich the tall man's cock… Bending the squishy flesh in and politely waiting to slob up the rest that pokes out when Suguru pushed through the sweet heat between your legs.

Satoru would swallow up that chance just to spit out more bubbly froth, making the slop all the more messy. Pussy already glistening in muck, now shimmering with your blue-eyed boyfriend's spit too. Some oozing pre-caught in the sap as well, catching it at the crown with a sensitive nub.

Gurgling at his tip and tasting nectar-like pussy sap mixed with his mess, Gojo’s nose was breathing down your ass to pop his best friend into his mouth… Not minding it one bit – everyone seemed to have gained attention – feeling Gojo huck out a wad of spit to help you grind along with more force.

Freshly warm juices mixed at your folds all while Gojo kept suckling the capped tip prodding out, up until Getō drew strong hips back again – craving more of your puffy folds to hotdog his length; leaving Gojo’s mouth open, watering with a dripping ‘o’ juncturing in fevor.

Spit adhering your perk hole dollops against Gojo’s tongue, slathering it like a cycle. A rinse and repeat. Again and again.

“Feel… s-so good baby…” Getō was panting, lost in the wet feel of two of his lovers praising his monumental cock…

You shiver against Getō. Clasping hands and hooking them over his shoulders to squeeze at the broad muscle to rub your clit and puffy mounds against throbbing veins. Rubbing like it was a bonfire ready to spark – a sort of haste, eager to make him grope at the nine clouds, just as much as Gojo wished for too.

“So… so close… I’m—fuck—almost there...” That pretty little moan you all loved dribbled out between his glossy lips.

That was your cue!

Wrecked in the way you gave the man in robes one more hot suctioning kiss before slipping down and quickly landing beside Gojo.

Of course, the blue-eyed man gave your bottom a good pat, welcoming you on the floor beside him with a sloppy kiss, “Look how messy you are.” Gojo’s tongue poked at yours, teasing the way you left a shiny trail of slime to drip along Getō.

It's about to get a whole lot messier…

You went to tease Gojo back, but he craved how it slathered well against his buds. Admiring how he lapped up the very mess you left – a thirsty soul he seemed as Gojo plugged up his mouth with what leaked in front of him.

Humming, you handle those tightening orbs swelling up too; groping at what was ready to just pop… Squeezing and tugging, even rubbing at Gojo’s throat to feel that lump intruding, you couldn't help but kiss hungrily at what Gojo couldn't fit.

Pressing with vigor at the midsection of Suguru’s shaft; breath puffing out against it in hot washes, and pretty, ridden face nuzzling in to kiss along the towering length. You lugged around at a breathless pace – skating over the saliva matting at the underside of the meaty pole in a bliss of pure devotion…

Suguru winces, but the teeth prying at his bottom lip plumps them out into a cute pucker, “C…C-cummiing…!” Suguru cries out with a heavy cock spasming against smooth fingers, fleshy mouths, and soft lips.

The long, thick cock – a slab of well-endowed cockmeat jutted. Kissing close to Satoru’s working mouth, the iron-hard girth throbbed and finally popped.

Expecting Satoru to swallow him up, a sudden palm planting at the back of your head worked quick to replace Gojo’s hot mouth. And Gojo giggles at the gag he forces your throat with to catch the first ropes of seed, though they flung through the empty air in white arcs and splattered across your face before your jaw could unhinge fast enough… The sticky mess soon splattered at the back of your throat; stringing over wet muscles in parabolas of white.

Gojo chuckles out one of those teasing chortles you'd usually hiss at, but mouth full to the hilt, all you could do was swallow up what was pouring down your weak maw…

Getō’s cock continued to throb, so was Gojo’s, laboriously at this point… All too lewd and too hot, he was marveling the meaty length swelling with each shot Suguru fired – all drawing it out with eager ministrations.

Hollowing your cheeks and slumping shoulders, you were at ease at the taste of Suguru.

Likewise, so was Gojo. He flicked out his tongue to shovel up the thick liquid draped heavily over your nose and cheeks. A mess staining the flushed skin white, almost obscuring you under its thickness. But Satoru cleaned you right up, a hungry dog soaking the slop—as thick as paint—and ran it over into his mouth.

This sight was heavenly.

Suguru’s chin tucked in, “Good job, my pretties… Now kiss, make sure to share...” Suguru slips out your mouth with a wet pop; emptied balls and thick baby batter plastered at fleshy barriers and skin made him twitch.

“Good… good…” Watching how you both twist tongues in his command, Getō was in awe!

Gaped in pure bliss at the mixing of hot cum and spit ‘till it went frothy like icing when you'd pull apart… Stings clung to your teeth every time you and Gojo opened your mouths for another slippery clash.

<– BACK: PINNED ⊹ ࣪ ˖ NEXT: JJK MASTERLIST –>

[profound-poster]

remembering why its not fun to go outside during the summer. bugs.

[neverlookatexplosions]

what my dad thinks my fridge looks like, vs what it actually looks like.

[cyberm4n]

what do you think it would be like for alastor and a reader who gets periods? Like do you think he'd be like... very fond and looking forward to that time of the month because he's a cannibal Orr? I'm very curious about this

oh i love this thought thank you anon

cw: smut, blood play?, kinda short but it's straight to the point

■ yknow that classic moment in a relationship with the whole "we can't it's not the right time of the month"

■ yeah that doesn't happen with alastor

■ he's got you on his bed, laid out on your back and he's just about to hike that cute dress of yours up when you squirm, saying that

■ he thinks for a moment, eyes narrowing when he realizes

■ "darling a little blood never hurt anyone. certainly not me" he'd say, and if you're still chill with it then he's 100% full steam ahead.

■ and now whenever you're on your period you let him know but it's really no problem to him

■ but he gets hungry ngl

■ maybe it's late and he's up in his radio booth doing god knows what when you show up, just wearing your sleep shorts and a tank

■ maybe you're a little needy, cramps can be such a bitch and you want some comfort

■ but he thinks you smell delicious, he can't resist helping you up onto his desk, tugging your shorts down

■ he's always about your pleasure but when you're on your period he eats you out like a starved man

■ he just loves your taste and it totally scratches that itch for blood

■ like he'd control himself and all that with the cannibal part but if it's really working him up then he's biting down on your thighs in between rounds

■ it's endearing in a way. like you're so tasty he has to remind himself he can't just eat you up

■ if you are one of those people where sexual activity helps you with cramps it's even better

■ but that man is not letting you go

■ as soon as you give the go ahead he's not letting you go until you've cum atleast 4 times maybe more. depends how thirsty he is

■ long story short: he DEFINITELY looks forward to your period so he can take care of you (and himself)