#gotta get them something you made urself

[kats-midnight-shitposts]

My friend’s birthday coming up

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

*me visibly vibrating in excitement ready to send that HAPPY BIRTHDAY text at exactly midnight - then deliver a hand written card sealed with wax and flowers (decorated ofc), alongside a store bought gift, a handmade gift, some dried flowers, and perhaps a baked good all together as one present in a gorgeous box I’ve been saving for years*

[unproduciblesmackdown]

no, More active effort, More conscious consideration

[inyomamasbed]

a/n: I accidentally deleted the request but someone asked for: "chigiri,friends to lovers" if u see this thanks for requesting,its my first ever "xreader" i hope it doesn't suck that much.

character:Chigiri Hyouma

content:fluff,a bit of angst,but mostly fluff

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡

ﾟ。 Friends to Lovers w/ Chigiri ♡ ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

As friends

•As we all know chigiri has been popular as soon as he got into highschool for his talent(and for his looks obvi)so you probably heard of him before becoming his friend

•I think it would have been hard to be his friend

•Before his knee injury, because of his football skills he always thought of himself as superior to others but i feel like he was also modest about it.

•His personality was kinda a 50/50

•After the injury that feeling of superiority crumbles but he had a hard time and ended up building walls around himself

•So yeah,to become his friend you would have to be really patient

•But lets say that u managed to overcome this arduous task and became his friend(yay!!)

•You guys would probably spend lunch together in silence enjoying eachothers company or have some small talk

•If you're somebody who's into "having a good apparece" you would probably talk about fashion,hairstyles,etc.

•I feel like before going to Blue Lock he couldn't really open up about football bc it made him remember his past

•So if you two probably didn't talk about football much and it would be better for the friendship

•He appreciates you for still being by his side since you're probably one of the few people that still recognize him for who he is,after his sister and mother. That's probably when he started to feel something for you but he kept it low-key bc he really didn't need to get hurt even more tbh😔🫂

•Also bc he wouldn't want his family to find out bc they would tease the crap out of him

•I JUST KNOW THAT HE'D BE THE TYPE OF FRIEND THAT WOULD BUY YOU SOMETHING WARM TO DRINK WHEN ITS COLD OR SOME SNACKS,OR THE TYPE OF FRIEND THAT WILL TELL U THE TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR BC HE KNOWS THAT IT WOULD MAKE YOU IMPROVE EVEN IF IY HURTS

•love him frfr

He starts falling for u

•I feel like with Chigiri u probably fell first but he fell harder

•You fell first but when he had girls drooling over him and he rejected all of them bc he wanted to focus only on football,gotta admit,it scared u

•And when them fake ass bitches left bc he stopped playing soccer it just felt wrong

• +100 points for u for being considerate of his feeling

•So the both of u kept ur feeling for urself and expected them to just fade away since u two we're already friends,but surprise surprise,they didn't left and u were stuck with them. Especially when he left for blue lock without saying much,u just thought about moving on but who can tbh

•Chigiri liked u for ur kind,positive and cheerful personality,the perfect energy that he needed when the world seemed against him.

•He probably realized how much he liked you when he was in Blue lock very far away from you,when no one was there to tell him that's everything was going to be fine.

•When he managed to get his hands of his phone he texted hai family and you

•You were surprised and happy that he remembered you and so was him when u texted back

•You both promised eachothers and you were gonna meet up as soon as possible

•and y'all did

•You two decided to meet up at a cute coffee shop to catch up and it's exactly what happened,you guys clicked and ended up talking for hours.

•You we're nevrvous about meeting him again since ur crush was still there but it was a relief that he was doing better and seeing him talk about football again with happy eyes

•Yup, everything was fine and you started hanging out more often when he had time

•Everyone around you probably thought you two were dating

•Everything felt so natural that u both forgot that none of y'all confessed💀

•He was so stressed about it cuz he wanted to be more than friends but didn't know how to tell u

•He was thinking to hard about it at the point that the next time u guys met up you noticed he was acting a bit weird: he was avoiding eye contact,he wouldn't even make the mistake to be close to u and his answers were really dry,but sometimes you could see him blush a little bit and noticed how sometimes his ears would get red

•While he was fighting himself to choose how to tell you about his feelings to you just managed to obtain mixed signals

•so confusing ikr

•So one day when he was taking you back to your house you decided to ask him about it

~imagine this:

You guys were side by side walking towards your house,none of you were talking,it was a bit awkward ngl.

The sun was saying its goodbye and it was getting cold but it didn't bother you since all the toughts that were going through your head were distracting you.

You stopped walking and he noticed so he stopped too after taking some steps ahead.

"Y/N..? Is everything ok?" Chigiri asked with his calm voice,but he looked at you with a bit of concern since you weren't answering.

He took some steps to get closer to you and that's when you said:" Chigiri can i ask you something?"trying to not look at him in the eyes.

"Sure" he said.

"Is everything ok between us,you've been acting a bit distant lately,did i do something to upset you?" You said,proud of yourself for managing to say it without stuttering or sounding desperate.

There was a bit of silence and you were ready to just move on and tell him that you could just walk by yourself from here.

You looked at him and it was your first time seeing him with a face color that matched his hair.

"..I'm sorry,that's the total opposite of what I'm trying to do" he said with a quiet voice audible only to you

You stayed silent waiting for him to say more.

"Actually Y/N(🤓), there's something I've been wanting to tell you for the past months"he said.

You were looking at him with eyes full of hopes that something might change from today(spoiler: it did)

"I like you..I've been liking you for a while to be precise,I don't know if it's the right time or if you-Are you crying?"

He notice you trying to opress your sobs,without much success.

"Was my confession that bad?" He asked with a nervous smile on his face.

It wasn't,in fact it was the best thing you've been told this past months.What a relief,you felt like you could finally breathe.

"No. No,it was good. Pretty good actually" you said while trying to get rid of the tears at the end of your eyes,while having a big smile printed in your face.

"It's such a relief,I'm glad" you said.

"So..Do u feel the same?" he said while coming closer to u,wanting to hold your hand.

"Isn't it obvious?" You said while laughing a bit,he also laughed,feeling at ease in the moment.

•and y'all started dating. Happy ending yay

a/n: Should I do a part.2 with chigiri as ur bf?lemme know. Thanks for reading.

[pupkashi]

Some drabble ideas cause why not :

- His s/o buying super expensive stuff for Satoru

- Imagine how he would react the first time you call him by pet name (or surname like 'Toru or 'Ru🥰🥺)

- Taking a nape w him

- How he would react the first time he sees u on ur periods, and how he'll treats you

- Where he likes to being kissed/touched

All these for Gojo cause we'll never have enough of him (and I love the way you write him<3)

anon u are an absolute genius ✍🏼✍🏼✍🏼 also I’m in tears bc of ur compliment i am gonna print this and hang it on a wall <3 also got a bit carried away w some of these 🤭

okay but 1) he would definitely love whatever u get him but scold you because he wants you to save ur money and spend it on urself but on the inside he is cheering and giddy because omg did you save up for a gift just for him :’ ))

rest are under the cut <3

2) i think he’d freeze a bit when you first call him toru and just drop everything and look u in the eye and make you say it again because his heart just burst and the only way he’d continue to live is hearing u say that again, after that he doesn’t respond to gojo coming from you anymore sometimes he’ll even ignore you calling him satoru because he wants you to call him ‘toru or the pet names you call him like angel, honey or sweetheart (which started because you said he eats so much sweets his heart might as well be a conversation heart)

3) i headcanon that satoru is the worst to nap with and i will die on that hill,, he will spend the entire time you’re supposed to be napping giggling and being overly affectionate, then when you say you have to go do whatever it is you gotta do he pulls you down and says ‘really this time’ so u set a timer and then when the timer goes off he just shuts it off and coaxes u back to sleep until you wake up naturally two or three hours later and his excuse is “how am i supposed to live myself knowing my lover is tired? you need rest I’m doing you a favor <;3”

4) not the best when he first finds out ngl 😭 i feel like he’d be weary around you at first because doesn’t wanna put you in a bad mood but then you cry because you think hated you and then as time goes on he figures out when to be clingy and when to give you space ,,, will buy you those plushies that you can heat up from cramps and lots and lots of pain killers ,, will make you tea to help with cramps ‘i saw a video saying this tea with honey is really good for cramps so i made you some :3’ ,, definitely indulges allllllll of your cravings especially those that also satiate his sweet tooth ,, overall very caring and i will def make a headcanon abt this on its own 😭😭

5) i am a firm believer that gojo loves, adores even, nose kisses !!!! a small smile on his face and he has to stop himself from practically squealing when you lean over and press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose <333 >.< loves when you kiss his forehead too or his knuckles when they’re a little red or bruised after a bad fight, specially after you’ve just finished wiping the blood away and wrapping them :((( ,,, he loves when you touch / play with the hair at the nape of his neck, he just feels so close to you and so relaxed and god he never wants to leave your arms </3 also loves when you scratch his back before going to sleep or when you squeeze his thigh when he’s sitting next to you also secretly loves when u smack his butt when he’s bent over doing or getting something but he will never tell u that ,, loves loves loves !!! when you touch his abs or chest,, his confidence will just shoot through the roof when your hands begin wandering down his abdomen during a make out or cuddle session, never failing to smirk and say ‘like what you feel’ to which you’d either indulge him or scoff and roll your eyes, pulling your hand away only for him to whine and put your hand back saying ‘okay okay I’m sorry please don’t stop’ ,,,, lord have mercy

[plutoons]

Can you do a tutorial on how your art process is done I’m about to quit on Art everything I make fucking sucks .

hey anon !! My art process is almost non existent cause i haven’t been able to stick to One definitive way and i don’t want to cause i think its limiting. I still have a long way to go for improving my skills and learning new things and figuring out different styles !!

Heres a quickk drawing showing what my “main” process is

This is something i generally have stuck to for most of my posted drawings (i can post things specific to some drawings on a separate reblog ^^ im just to lazy to get pictures of em for examples rn)

Doodle !! I cant visualize shit, and usually have a very vague idea of what id like to draw Or just nothing at all. So I doodle messily with expressive gestures till’ i find something that sticks

choose one final concept/sketch and clean it up a lil so i have a way better idea of what im getting myself into

Base colors cause i hate doing lineart. So i just go straight into colors casue its fun and i like fun!! Right on top or on a diff layer it doesnt matter. I color pick with my eyes and put base colors or anything i think it would be cool. No pressure and it can messy cause I’ll clean it up and figure shit out later

fuck around and find out (rendering ig)—> i cant explain it super well or definitively. I just layer and throw colors on top till im satisfied or Done with it. I flip my canvas a bunch or check my values to make sure the results come out to look more coherent regardless of the mess of color

Im just a simple person and cant handle something that requires too many steps or things that havta be done Just right so this works for me atm. This may not be your jam but finding a process in that works for you through trial an error is just a part of art. Do what works for you!! I think experimenting is so important even if it sucks in the end

(more Words / “advice ?” under cut)

I have so many shitty drawings and sketches and even colored things that outweigh the tiny bits of art i decide to show off

I totally get that creating art can get really discouraging at times; not getting the results you want when you want them no matter how much effort you put in just sucks, but it won’t always be that way :] even if it takes you 10 years to find your groove and see improvement or 2 years, it’ll happen. I find that i’ve only improved when i actively didn’t give a fuck about how my art looks and only cared that i was having fun through it all, and thats hard cause perfectionism is a bitch and its hard to get rid of. You could improve with studies and daily practice for sure but moving towards improvement can be as fun and light n breezy as you want to make it, like taking a break to explore different hobbies or changing up mediums or fucking around and experimenting with it can help !!! Allow ur art to be bad; cause fuck it, at least you made something and thats really really cool. Once you cut urself some slack it’ll be easier to improve upon your skillset and slowly but surely get to where you want

Sorry im a bit tired idk if this is coherent so heres a more direct thing i’d like to say:

Maybe ur art isn’t where you want it to be rn and ik it can kill ur motivation to keep going at it (i’ve experienced this feeling a lot and im sure so have many others). But you gotta ease up on urself and stop worrying about results so you can allow yourself to experiment and have fun!! And its hard getting into that mindset but you gotta keep trying and you’ll find it getting easier

[king--of--ducks]

DAILY— or— er— I guess I can’t really call it a ‘daily offering’ anymore because they don’t happen daily… I kinda fell off the band wagon w/ that one, my bad.

*ahem* uh— anyways! I’ve been passively following the recent events for some time now trying to think of something to help, and I think I’ve got something.

I made these! They’re two necklaces, one for you and one for Charlie when u get her back (cuz u will I bet, cut urself some slack, u and everyone u know r trying your best). But they’re not normal, each of them has a button in the middle that when it’s pressed activates like… almost a GPS. Um… you know those like— old people ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ necklaces? Like that! When one is activated, the other vibrates, and will be able to tell you where the other is. That way if ur ever in a situation like this again where one is in danger, all they gotta do is press the button, and your necklace will bring you the last location that person was. (The golden part on the apple and the middle circle on the sun are the buttons 😉)

So, I guess it doesn’t rlly help now. But… Just… it’s an investment for the future I guess. Good luck boo, and please take care of yourself. You really are better than you give yourself credit for.

🍎Thank you! They’re beautiful and helpful!🍎

[xxbl00ds0akeds3raxx]

hey, fifi? seraphina? my love, my one and only… we really need to talk.

i was reading through your old posts and i found some REALLY weird stuff there.

like, okay, i know we’ve talked about ur other… flings before. i’ll tolerate them for you, you still know that. but.. what’s this about working at the brothel??? PLEASE tell me someone was joking writing that… in all of those asks… this has to be some weird joke, right???

at least with ur modeling and streaming, i can keep you safe. no one can hurt u there. but the brothel? sure, the whole town is crawling with rapists, but why would u intentionally go where they’re all gathered??? u even SAID that u KNOW it’s unsafe. why do u keep working there? it has to be a joke. if it’s not, u need to quit.

please. I can get us a flat or something since u can’t stay at my house. or get my parents to like u more. It’ll just take a bit more time. u don’t have to keep working to earn money. or at least not there. i could keep us safe, and happy… i just don’t know why u don’t trust me to do that!!

…i need to go look through the rest of ur posts now too. don’t block me, i have other accounts too, you already know that. u can’t keep hiding these things from me.

is there anything else u want to admit now too?? u know i'll find out eventually.

i’m TRYING to be good for u here. but it’s getting really fucking hard. i'm just trying to protect u.

…please reply.

- kylar

hhh hello kylar! my love, my pretty boy!!! umm!! tha thing abt my old posts is that they r old! ^.^ no need to look through the rest of them. not that i'm hiding anything from u— i just think we should talk b4 u... mmm, rile urself up more maybe ??

ofc i have no reason 2 lie to u sooo ahaha... ^_^ yes, i used to work at the brothel. i mean...,, i technically still do but mostly just to restock the facilities! i dont dance anymore. except for fridays,,, but all of that is very meticulously planned out and none of it is real! just a show!! briar makes sure it's safe 4 me bc umm the audience rlly likes me and i make her a lot of money so i can't just... quit really–

i don't have 2 fuck anyone there anymore, so its okay, right?? i could go over tha terms n conditions of shows w/ u if it'd make u more comfortable ??? ^^' i swear ik what i'm doing & i am being safe now, i didn't tell u bcos i knew u wld get worried and i never want to make u upset im sorry :((

baby, that sounds wonderful but... how would you even afford a flat— ? i mean, i could pitch in of course, but i still have to pay off bailey :/ and i have 2 be responsible 4 robin as well,,, u know im working hard 2 get on ur parents good sides but it will take time ಥ_ಥ

i do trust u!! i know u have my best interest in mind <3 it's just that um... sometimes wat u want isn't... realistic- like,,, even if i did quit, the problems wouldn't go away. i made my bed n now i gotta lie in it & until i have tha resources to cover it up,,, its smth we have 2 live w/ 〒▽〒 ghhh im sorry that i've dragged u into all of this :( i will make it up 2 u i promise !!!

u are being so good and i'm so proud of u, i love u so much <3 plz be patient w/ me, i'm also trying,,,

[youremyheaven]

HEYYYY [insert whatever pet name u like] it's ur venus stellium anon from last month.. do u remember me? sorry life happened 🤩 n i've been pretty low energy so i didn't get around to bothering u. I've been looking at yt vids of some of my chart placements lately and i've discovered something funny (along with other developments like me. I've been looking at ur blog the past one or two days a little and I obvs haven't made my way through the whole "backlog" but some silly thoughts:

I didn't know u were bi! For some reason I felt a little awkward talking about this because I didn't want to be That Person lol (aka everyone was talking about guys and I didn't wanna weird anyone out 😔) but my exes were women 😂 supposedly I gave them daddy energy lmfao I hate it because I wanted that from someone. I talked about them a bit vaguely but it might've sounded worse under the assumption of it being a man. (Unless I didn't say much and just forgot)

I've been reading celebrity gossip and only now realised how people - even the most successful - can have it so truly bad when it comes to romance and idk it made me a little apathetic and allergic to it. Not in a "im swearing off of it" way but in a "im no longer going to expect it in my life. If I get surprised, yay for me. Otherwise eh." (my mind's at a weird place though so it'll probably change when other things calm down, don't worry about me 🫶 this is all about the hypothetical future anyway because I'm not looking for a relationship rn)

Sorry u got hate about ur blog. I can understand anon got upset but the unkind language was uncalled for.

I came across the ask about nodes conjuncting big 3 and one of mine does; i can assure u (and the hate anon) that yes, this particular example (me) DOES happen to be cray cray 😭

This is related to the yt vids and point 2: My charts basically say I'll have an okay enough career, but the romance department would be dodgy because I will never be satisfied by anything anyone does for me (to put it shortly) 😂😂 that had me a little shocked at first but then I was like u know what we kinda knew this.. let's just focus on that career instead LMFAO

HARD AGREE WITH U ON THE FLIRTING IN NON-ENGLISH. I gotta be honest I cringe if I hear flirting in anything other than English (I've only ever been exposed to it in that language) but I read a fic (english) once where this man called his lover "meri jaan" and it had me in a DAZE FOR DAYS (excuse the lame pun pls) SO YES I AGREE W U. I've been collecting other little terms (just 1 so far) that I've seen people around me using affectionately and they're sooo sweet.

I HOPE U'VE BEEN WELLLLLL. I'm away from tumblr lately so I probably won't be able to send u asks in the near future but I hope u stay safe and take care of urself 💖💖 BYEEEEE

HEYYY bbg 🥺

I thought this was going to be astrology related but you're just checking in on me 😭😭😭😭and I feel so touched 🥺🥺🥺

1. About being bisexual

I feel like there are definitely different dynamics at play bc I do attract more butch leaning women who want to be my daddy 🫣🙈 but whenever it's a femme x femme dynamic, I always feel like I become the more dominant one and I do kinda hate it 😭😭

It just wears me out to be the giver tbh 🙃 especially because I already assume that role in so many other areas in my life, I just want to sit back and be babygirled 😭😭 this is why despite being attracted to women , relationships with women don't really work out for me 😭😭

it's all a matter of luck when it comes to love and relationships and sometimes things find us unexpectedly.

what I've learnt from some of my recent experiences is that someone can do all the right things, give you princess treatment and all that yet not make you feel anything 😭 so to be physically attracted to someone, emotionally in- sync with them, AND have a healthy relationship,, it's all down to luck 😭

2. not u calling yourself cray cray 😭😭

majority of people in this world are not living happy lives, be it with regard to love, career or family. To even have one of these things going well is a huge blessing ✨and while it's possible to have all of them, it's okay to not beat yourself up for achieving all 3 in one go.

One of my dad's childhood friends, remained unmarried into her late 40s. This is veryyyy unusual in India and she's not from a bougie artsy family where such things are chill or anything either. She, however, had a brilliant career and is a civil servant and rn she's in a veryyy high ranking position because she's worked her way up. Everybody around her pitied her (for being single and childless) but she was just out there making $$$ by the time she hit her late 40s people stopped pestering her because by that point, it's kinda "too late" to settle down. BUT GUESS WHAT HAPPENED??? she met a reallyyyyy cute Swiss-German man who was visiting our state/city and she happened to be the one showing him around?? (someone linked them up basically) and that wonderful meet-cute led them to marriage in like 2 months lol ,,, this lady who had been single for 47+ years found the right guy and married him in less than 2 months???? Isn't that sooooo romantic??? It's all about timing 💛💛 and now they've been together for a decade and spend most of their year travelling the world ✨and are very much in love

So different eras of our life will have us focusing on different things. Rn it's probably best to make that $$$ and focus on yourself. Love will find you when it needs to 💛✨💛

3. About flirting in non-English

JAJAJSJ yess I used to cringe 😬 hearing Desi flirting across languages 😭but now I feel like I've finally decolonised my mind to find it cute 😭

My ex was Tamil and he used to call me "bomma" which means "doll" in Tamil ,, I had a flop talking stage with another Tamil guy who used to call me "Kitty kutty" ("little kitty") and idk if it's a Tamil guy thing but they go hardddd with their affection through terms of endearment

Flirting in Hindi is always fun bc it's all "aapka this, aapka that" (using honorifics) and respect turns me on i guess lmao 🤭🥵 Idk if this is just a Desi thing but yk how men start calling you madam and ma'am 😌yeah I live for that shit 🤭🤭 they'll be like "madam is still getting ready" and I'll be like 😍yes the hell I am 😍😜

4. Thank you so much for checking in with me angel 🥺🥺 I appreciate it and you soooo much 💛💛💛 you're the sweetest

I'll take care of myself 😜 😌and I hope you do as well!!! 💛💛 May the rest of July be wonderful for you ✨

[heesulovebot]

8 shows to get to know me

my bae sufa @heart-ming didn’t tag me but let’s just say they did teehee. i literally mostly watched kdramas before i started bls so this list will admittedly be kdrama centric 🫣 in chronological order (i think):

that 70s show: has this show aged well? no. but there are still so many iconic moments that it holds a special place in my heart. twelve year old me would race home after school to watch re-runs. twelve year old me also thought peak romance was eric and donna dancing to abba’s fernando in the drive way in front of the vista cruiser 😭😭 

reply 1988: i never thought reply ‘97 could be topped (esp after the disappointment of ‘94) but reply ‘88 knocked it out of the ball park completely. i loved every single character sm, it rlly felt like home :’) and rip to those who had sls but i’m different 💅🏼 (jk i usually have a chronic case of sls dsjkfnksjd but everything in this drama made sense, esp deok seon and taek). who else was there for soompi forum user @ packmule using colour-theory, dialogue, and frame analysis to guess who the husband was before the show finished airing???? packmule on soompi forums u will always be famous xoxo

my mister: the grip this show had on me should be studied like. i made my first fandom sideblog for this show?????? i wrote my first fanfic for this show??????? dskjfnkdjnsk the scene in which park dong hoon sits in his living room after everything is finished and then bursts out in tears and then the background music cuts off and we just hear him sOBBING in silence...... i will never recover, i fear

2gether: speaking of shows that had a grip on me ksdjfnkdsjnf i gotta be real and add this to the list since y’all who have been following me since this era bore witness to my absolute obsession. i def can objectively say that 2gether is not a good show but tine and watine remain a special place in my heart forever ♡

ofcc & cherry magic: LOL I’M CHEATING AND PUTTING THESE TWO TOGETHER but they’re both about gay salarymen so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk there’s just an underlying sadness to both these fluffy jbls that i fuck with heavy      

i told sunset about you: no matter how much beef i have with p’meen, p’boss has done nothing wrong in his life ever and itsay tehohaew remain my babies. y’all alrdy know itsay had me in tears weekly (i still remember watching ep 4 during class time ((covid college core)) and then my prof started saying something after i finished the ep and i BURST into tears and haven’t recovered since tbh)   

to my star 1&2: god daseul invented cinema and romance, actually. this show (s2 particularly) had me on twitter spaces talking about jiwoo and seojun’s depth and complexity for 8+ hours 💀 i literally could write an entire thesis on it—have probably, if u combine my tumblr tags and tweets 😭😭😭 tms surpassed my 2gether rewatches (which @phukaoapologist & @pranpat can attest that is A LOT), and will always remain that bitch

the glory: every girliepop has a lil’ bit of blood lust in them. sometimes u need a cute lil’ revenge drama on ur list and a man that would tell you that he’d kill for you xo

tagging!: @nonkul @itoldsunset @phukaoapologist @pranpat @earthpirapat @dirhwangdaseul @ohmybitna @jaehwany @junghaesin @fordallan @deshimango @kinnkittisawasd @freensrcha @jiustian i’ll only tag a few since i bet a lot of ppl have alrdy done this but if u want to and i didn’t tag you consider urself tagged ♡

[blamemma]

Not sure if you answered this before but based on your latest bookish asks, what are your top book recommendations? 😌

i have definitely answered this before but cannot find it anywhere in my books tag oops so i dont think i ever tagged it correctly but oH NO a chance for me to talk about my favourite books what a shame???!!!!! anyway book recs under the cut x

ok so i'll try and do this succinctly cause i can talk about good books for hours and hours and what made me so enamoured with them so ok lets go.

bewilderment by richard powers - go into this knowing nothing apart from it centers around a single dad and his son who is concerned about animals and the climate crisis. do not google more about it, do not look for spoilers, just let powers take you on this slow journey of a father and son and all that comes with that....thrust it into the arms of my flatmate with these same words and he kept on asking me questions because he couldn't work out some things in the book and then one night at about 12:30am i get a knock on my bedroom door cause he finished it and we talked for hourssss about it.....just please....read it

at swim, two boys by jamie o'neill - no one is surprised to see this here, maybe look up some of the trigger warnings if there are things you avoid in books for this one, but yeah, two boys, dublin, in love with each other but not acting on their feelings, learning how to swim and forging a bond so strong :)) still thinking about it still aching

the seas by samantha hunt - i think she's under 200 pages?? if not only slightly over.....quick fast paced weird read about a fucked up girl who believes deep in her heart she's a mermaid, flew through this one, really weird concept that was explored thoroughly well

the idiot by elif batuman - i often forget about this one because i read it during the hazy depressed days of first year uni but i know it shaped me, i know it clawed at me, and i know i really want to re-read it soon....a good book if ur lost in ur twenties i think xx

drive your plow over the bones of the dead by olga tokarczuk - much like bewilderment, dont google this one for more than the synopsis and let urself wade through the first 50 pages cause god from there....chefs kiss....a feminist murder mystery fuck YES (and thats a really simple description of what it is)

crossroads by jonathan franzen - aight so you take a heavy religious family with a pastor for a father but ooft the father is cheating on his wife and the son is addicted to drugs and the daughters had enough of her family and is in love with someone she shouldn't be and the mothers done some questionable shit in her past......yeah thats MY kinda family saga....each chapter follows a different member of the family and through these lil snippets u really start to see the inevitable breakdown of a family that on the outside looks perfect

babel by r.f. kuang - look, i gotta give it to the tiktok girlies here......they're onto something here......devoured this beast of a book like there was no tomorrow and went through a full array of emotions with all the characters.....superb book, truly deserves all the hype its been given

(lol reading back through all these and i think what we can comfortably say is i LOVE a sad book keep ur happy emotions away from me)

HONORABLE MENTIONS GO TO: mayflies by andrew o'hagan; the death of vivek oji by akwaeke emezi; shuggie bain by douglas stuart; my brilliant friend by elena ferrante (can not yet recommend the full quartet because i've only read the first two....but yeah.....good shit)

[hijinxensues]

The Cloaking Brooch Dilemma - Part 8

RotTMNT Donatello x OC!AFAB

Synopsis: Donatello considered himself, nay, deemed himself the greatest mind of his generation. He was known for his skills as a scientist, inventor, engineer and was a technological genius. Dare he throw in that he was a damn good brother and held the title of being ¼th ‘Protector of New York City’.

He could barely fathom that he didn’t piece together that the pretty barista he was falling for was simultaneously his gaming buddy (might I add, for the last eight years) and was working for Big Mama.

At this very moment, Donatello was sure of two things in his life. One of them being his life was a joke and the second being that he was fraternizing with the enemy.

All because he decided to run errands whilst donning his cloaking brooch.

Warnings: Aged-Up turtles, fluff, Half-Yokai OC, AFAB OC (does use she/her/they pronouns in writing), swearing, light angst

FIRST

PREV

NEXT

Ch 8 – Magenta

Despite your best efforts to convince Donnie to stay as the night closed in on the both of you, he politely declined saying that he’d make it home and that he was absolutely tougher than he looked. While he didn’t give off ‘string bean’ vibes, Donnie was very lean; you made a mental note to start feeding him more.

After ensuring he got home safe and bidding him goodnight, you cleaned up after yourselves and made yourself comfy in your own bed.

letty: not to give you a big ego or anything, but its like super lonely without you here lmao also vacuum up after ur rabbit fur ffs, why I also gotta clean up after YOUR shedding

gigi: my ego is so fucking large right now, also I pay for most of the groceries so. u can deal w the shedding ty bb

gigi: i will admit that i, too, have separation anxiety LOL its too late for me to make it over there

letty: donnie mentioned something about ‘portal magic’ or whatever being pretty common amongst yokai, maybe make urself useful and learn some, or better yet find someone who can do it for you

gigi: got, it will find hot boyfriend to portal me to ur place. Bc that’s SO easy. Also how was loverboy tonight?

letty: OMF I had a panic attack and then we like…semi cuddled or smth? Our shoulders were touching EEEE

gigi: THE SHOULDERS BABE!! youre ridiculous lmao im going to bed now, will swing by idk whenever ill just show up, night lov u bb

letty: ya whatever u got a key. that u got cut for yourself lmao

letty: NIGHT love u too

You rolled your eyes and made yourself into a little burrito before tucking your phone under your pillow and settling in. Having Donatello actively in your life the past few weeks was a bit of a whirlwind, getting past the initial shock of it all, the two of you established a bit of a routine and fallen into a rhythm. There were evenings where you had night shifts or he was just busy with family, but you’d made time to video chat or text almost all hours of the day and then to see each other at least every few days, schedule permitting.

Were you two…seeing each other?

No, that would be ridiculous. The prerequisite of two or more people seeing each other with romantic intentions would be that all parties would be in consensus to said suggestion prior to moving forward with it. On top of that, all parties would also have to be honest…guilt gnawed at you your hand finding it’s way to one of your ears and tugging gently. The ‘Cloaking Brooch Dilemma’ would have to be addressed sooner or later, but when? It felt like too much time had passed to just casually bring it up. Would he think you’re a liar? Worse, would he hate you for lying by omission? You should’ve just made the reveal the same night you found out he was using ‘Othello’ as an alias.

Sighing, you closed your eyes and let sleep take you. It was a problem for another day.

--

You hadn’t heard much from Donnie during the day, (he did have other obligations than answering your text messages back, unfortunately). Wiping the counter down at Rendezvous, you get a ping on your phone.

gigi: we out of milk can u get some on the way home plz

letty: we?

letty: WHOS ‘WE’? you and me? U don’t live there

letty: u fucking moocher

letty: also yes lactose free? venmo me bitch

After receiving a thumbs up emoji from your rabbit counterpart, you focus back on tending to the coffee machine and cleaning up. There wasn’t much longer to go until your shift here was done, you’d get a little bit of a break then you’d have a shift at the Grand Nexus. Making a mental note to put up milk in between your jobs, the telltale ring of the door goes off making it known someone’s come in.

“Hi, welcome to- oh, hey! It’s been a while!”

Your hands make quick work starting a latte for him and grabbing a cinnamon bun. You give him a once over which causes you to pause your rapid muscle memory. Your regular normally wore a black mask to cover his nose and mouth but he was without it today and you were met with a very familiar shade of green and purple. The purple clad individual was sans his goggles and in place a black beanie, but with his drawn-on eyebrows on his purple bandana, this was without a doubt, the terrapin who you’d had, not one but two, run ins with at Tio Huesos’. He looked so casual bundled up in his coat, faux fur lined the hood, his bottom half in well-worn dark grey sweatpants and then boots with dark purple socks poking out the top.

Thinking back to the other times you’d seen him previously, how have you not recognized him sooner?

You honestly weren’t sure how to feel, he’d always been a quiet and well-behaved regular. He’d never given you a hard time and had always given a nod or a half curtesy smile before heading out with his goods. Frustration brewed in your chest thinking back to all his attitude outside the Rendezvous walls.

“Hello,” his voice cracked, he smoothed over his neck with a hand and cleared his throat, “Salutations!” he tried one more time with a nervous chuckle and an awkward smile. You were almost tempted to think he was cute. Almost. “Tonight is an exceptional night for a stroll and a coffee, don’t you think?”

This was a very different version of the turtle you previously had run into with your rabbit ears equipped. Thinking back, he was much more nervous now than you’d ever seen taking in account the times he’d come by the coffee shop over the years, and he’d never previously tried to initiate small talk with you in the past.

“The same as usual, right? I’ve already got it going.”

He deflates, smile quickly replace with a tight-lipped nod. Eyes darting everywhere but your own as he paid for his order. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he stiffly made his way to the other counter to wait for his order.

Holding back a groan, you got his order ready, guilt seeping into your bones as your curt response wiped the smile off his face. He does have a pretty smile. Biting back a scowl you mentally reprimand yourself for thinking any boy with pretty eyes that paid you any attention was cute.

“Ah, sorry sir,” you start slowly, “just having a long day.”

You slide over two cinnamon buns instead of one, “An extra for you on the house.” Twirling a bit of hair around your finger, you tug lightly and offer as bright of a smile as you can muster to turn the mood around.

The terrapin almost fumbles his coffee cup as he puffs his chest out with a newfound confidence. ‘Oh god, there he is’, this energy was what you associated with him at Tio Huesos. He was but a shade away from exuding an air of arrogance.

“But of course! I did not at all take the pervious interaction personally in any capacity! Ha ha!”

Two things were made instantly clear to you.

1)     Purple Turtle was a shitty liar.

He pulls a giggle out of you, and you catch his grin widen marginally as his fingers clench and adorably thrum on the pastry box.

2)     You were too soft on Purple Turtle. (Note to self: Be an asshole and commit to it.)

He glances down at your nametag, and the gesture oddly reminds you of Donnie, “Violet, have a good evening.”

“You as well, sir.”

The terrapin struts out of the shop quickly and with purpose, a bit of a bounce to his step a stark contrast from his more subdued and jittery movements coming in. You almost miss him fist bump the air as he turns the corner and is out of sight.

‘You’ve been invited to ‘Girls Night!’ group chat’

Rapid pings happen on your phone as April, Sunita and Usagi spam the text thread. Quickly, you put the group chat on mute and save both girls numbers into your phone. Pocketing your phone to clean up after your mess you made another mental note to try your best and actual conversate and cultivate new relationships with Usagi’s other friends.

The rest of your shift goes by uneventfully and your co-worker comes in to relieve you as you clock out. Waving them a goodbye, you gather your things and head home to rest up before your night shift at the Grand Nexus.

--

Your apartment is rabbit-less when you enter, and you put the milk away in the fridge. Your nose twitches as you walk around the space, ‘I probably just missed him’, your sense of smell was slightly heightened post-mutation and you didn’t put it to use often but it was useful when needed.

‘125 Missed Messages’

Snorting you press the record button to record a voice note, “Hey girlies, sorry was at work. Just got home, but also going to head out to work again in a little bit. Uh, got the milk, Gigi. Also, lets plan for hanging out? I can host, my space is small, but it’ll be cozy! Hope yall don’t mind rabbit fur- Gigi is shedding.” Letting the voice note send, you prep another, “Also, 125 missed messages!?”

A voice note from Usagi pops up, “Venmo’d you for milk. Yes, catch up on the chat while you get ready for work. I’ll swing by later, probably? Love you.”

April: yall are too cute!! reminds me of my siblings but much less violent and annoying

Violet: LOL, how many u got?

Sunita: she has like, 4 brothers.

Four!? That would make April one of five siblings, in this economy? In New York City?! Settling into your couch cushions you catch up on your missed messages and send a few voice notes back to them.

April: okay, so girls night on Thursday? that gives us all a few days to prep and book off work!

Sunita: Already in the calendar!! SO EXCITED

Usagi: i’ll be there early to help set up the apartment

Letty: YAY okay sounds good yall, will talk later, just getting ready 4 the night shift

Getting ready you put your things together and leisurely pull out a post it-note and start writing to let Usagi know when you’d be home and to throw the garbage out when he got in. Sticking the note on the fridge, you double then triple check you have everything for your shift then set off to your destination.

--

“Did you ever find out what that turtle Yokai was snooping around for?” Draping yourself across the magenta chaise you play catch with yourself and a crumpled-up piece of paper. Catching the ball in your hand you make the next toss into a nearby waste basket.

The loud smack on the table startles you enough to almost slide out of the chaise.

“No, we didn’t. He was seemingly snooping around for nothing; nothing was out of place. Nothing was missing. It was virtually untouched.”

Odd, but what did you know about hero and villain affairs?

Usagi had pretty much confirmed that he was one of the color-coded vigilantes that saved the city from the alien invasion a few years back and so you were reticent to think he was doing something with malicious intent. You were very well aware through the grape vine that Big Mama was…’sketchy’ to speak plainly. If anything, ‘sketchy’ was a very watered-down descriptor of the woman.

Secretly, you hoped he got what he needed the last time so you wouldn’t need to be caught up with him again. You really did like the job at the hotel. The grandeur of the hotel used to make you feel out of place, but now it felt cozy to be surrounded by such warmth from the richness of the velvet furniture and the overdressed patrons.

The telltale flickering red light catches your attention and you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “Hello, front-“

“Intercom girl, I was hoping I’d catch you.”

How he was able to tell it was you based on two words alone stumped you.

The florescent blue clouds your vision as the line goes dead and the blue clad terrapin walks through and closes the portal behind him. A hand finds your emergency button immediately; however you find yourself not wanting to press it. Ears swiveling, you do a once over the lobby to confirm there was no other employees in the vicinity to see this. Your hand knocks over the switch for the security cameras trained on the front desk and you lie to yourself that you did it by accident.

Sticking your neck out for a stupid, blue turtle wasn’t on your to-do list today, but here you were.

“I think you already know what I’m going to say, but how can I help you?”

“You know, Intercom Girl, I can call you ‘Intercom Girl’ right? I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he flashes a grin at you that would surely make someone else swoon (but not you, purple was more your color), “The names’ Leo and I believe you and me might have a mutual friend.”

You follow his gaze to the button on your wrist to notify the staff and you guess he catches the way your eyebrows furrow uncertainly so he follows up with a, “I don’t bite, promise.”

“You’re going to need to give me more than just your name and an ominous mention about a mutual friend.” Rationally, you could guess he was talking about Usagi, given that Usagi himself confirmed the terrapins did takeout at Huesos. However, Leo could also be alluding to April or even Sunita? Though, those choices were less plausible since there was only one instance where you’d met them.

“We’re also on a time limit before someone comes down to check on me, so talk fast.” Pressing him for time seems to be the right play as he deflates momentarily as the jig is up. He glances around the same way you did before and leans in close, “So,”

“So?”

“There’s this,” he runs a hand down his face and you don’t miss the way his cheeks are dusted with pink. Gesturing with your hand for him to keep going, he refuses to meet your eyes as he continues, “Rabbit Yokai at ‘Run of the Mill’.”

You were calling Usagi once you got off the clock.

“And you’ve come to me to confirm that we’re mutuals or?”

He fidgets with the wrappings on his arms, “I’m usually much more suave than this,” he chuckles nervously and pulls at an invisible collared shirt.

“Are you? Because it looks like rabbit got your tongue.” Confidently you smirk at him with your play on words.

“I can respect that, honestly. I made an IHOP joke last I saw you so I definitely deserved that. Point is, I’m just making sure he’s safe.”

Scratch that, you were calling Usagi the moment Leo left.

“Safe? Where is he? What’re you on about?” Panic shows itself in the way your fingers go to your pocket to grab your phone to contact him. Leo’s gaze hardens as he stares down your jittery form, “You work at the Grand Nexus, who’s owned by Big Mama- one of the biggest crime lords for the Hidden City. Can’t be too careful.”

“And? Usagi’s my best friend!” your mouth is too fast for your brain and you’ve revealed the only real leverage you had against him, “Are you accusing me of putting him in danger because of my night job!? How do you even know we know each other?! I would’ve heard about you if you were important to him.”

Usagi would’ve told you if he was seeing someone, especially if it was this guy. Right?

The doubt that’s sowed into your head is blinding and doesn’t help you think straight as you press the emergency button Leatherhead gave you.

“You should go. Don’t come back.”

Leo’s gaze doesn’t leave yours, his expression unreadable, as he opens his portal and walks through.

--

Your apartment door almost comes off the hinges with how violently you unlock and push it open. Your rabbit counterpart yelps and flops onto the floor unceremoniously from the couch. Usagi’s has his hand to his heart, he breathes heavy and fast, “What the fuck is going on!? It’s like, 1am in the morning!”

“I don’t know, you tell me! Do you happen to know a ‘Leo’? That’s also a turtle? Because I’ll tell you what there’s probably not many of those around!”

A flash of recognition runs across his face as he catches his breath, “Well, yeah? He comes to Tio Huesos’. Why did you have to give me a heart attack, for the second time, at 1am in the morning to ask that question!?”

Tears pinprick at your eyes as you collapse beside him on the floor and recount the encounter with Leo to Usagi, bottom lip quivering and tears painting your cheeks. “Do you not trust me?” Warm arms engulf you, “Letty, I trust you with my life. Leo can get overprotective-“

“So, you do know him?!”

“I do! But like, casually? I was actually waiting to see if it’d get more serious before I outright told you.”

“But we tell each other everything.” Her admission is barely a murmur. 

“We do, and I was wrong to keep it from you even if that wasn’t the intention. You know how quickly I catch feelings and I really just wanted to be sure before I brought it up this time. I’m so sorry, Letty.” Sputtering out a watery laugh you clutch at his sweater, “Lest we forget, Gerard the Frog Prince, your last ‘true love’.”

There’s a playful bat at your head and a tug on your ear, “Listen, I deserve that but also fuck you.”

The air in the apartment is much lighter as the two of you sleepily clutch onto each other, seeking warmth and comfort. Usagi reaches for the comforter and a few pillows, “We can do a pillow fort tonight?”

Wiping away your tears onto Usagi’s sweater you nod and get up to help him drape sheets over a few chairs before grabbing a few fairy lights from your bedroom to rig on the inside. You rummage for a few more comforters since you were too lazy to move your mattress and make a little den.

“Leo would have a fit if he saw this, he’d think we’re dating.”

“He knows I only like guys, but also, I definitely have to talk to Leo about whatever the fuck just happened, because you are the farthest thing from a threat. I think his family just has messy history with Big Mama.”

You snort, “Yeah, get your man babe, he’s out of control. You should also ask how he knew where to find me?”

“Well, he’s a ninja so I think he probably followed you. Maybe he’s seen us walk home together or something, I’ve brought you up very vaguely in conversation.”

Humming, you concede, that made a lot of sense, “That’s deeply unsettling. Speaking of turtles, my regular came in today and guess what? He’s the purple turtle from Tio Heusos I ran into! He didn’t recognize me obviously, but it was whack. I felt like I was in the matrix.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

Yawning you pull out your phone to see an onslaught of messages from the group chat and Donnie. You open Donnie’s text thread and start typing.

letty: had the craziest fucking day, I don’t think you’re awake but missed you today

letty: also my dishwasher is broken, can you come over and fix it plz lmao tyty my lil techie

donnie: Please do not ever call me ‘lil techie’ ever again.

letty: it’s your new rap name, but also go the fuck to bed

donnie: I missed your presence today as well and do tell me about your day later today. I am heading to bed now, but I’m glad I caught you. And yes, I will fix your dishwasher.

letty: perf, youre the best but u knew that already

‘Letty sent a photo attachment’

letty: check out this blanket fort, made it w gigi night lil techie

donnie: 3 things: Love the addition of fairy lights, fuck off and goodnight.

Usagi’s ears flop over your shoulder and you watch his even breathing signaling he’s gone to sleep already. You dim your fairy lights, get comfortable and let sleep take you for the night.

TBC

[iwaasfairy]

Fae fae when did you learn to draw digital? Like do you have any tips I’ve been practicing but honestly it’s so hard haha

I remember sometime early 2021 I think you did a lot of haikyuu art and it was amazingggg wow

-🪐 anon

fAE FAE pLS dgusgfus I LOVE THAT??? heLP but uhmm honestly i think the main reason why my art looks better now is because i've been practicing my basics a lot? and like, its a constant battle to get better and hate your old art yk,, but i'm glad i did it and i can't wait to see how much i'll improve in the future! BUT! as for practicing tips, i would recommend splitting up exactly what you want to tackle first.

digital drawing is a very different skill than sketching. coloring is a very different skill. backgrounds are a skill in itself. drawing bodies,, etc etc etc,, and it was really frustrating to draw sometimes bc it feels like they all go hand in hand? but splitting them up and practicing solely on that- can really help make it feel more doable yk

also drawing on paper is v helpful to me personally. get urself a practice sketchbook, even tho they are two separate skills they kinda are tied together. if you improve one it will also show in the other

and yEA i did do some art in 2021 that i was really proud of. but i do gotta say looking back, those arts took me like 72 hours and so much references that it always felt extremely overwhelming and scary to draw. i like them a lot still, but i dont remember finding it very fun to draw back in 2021

and sometimes it's embarrassing for me to look back at old art and not shudder in shame, but the fact is,, that i was happy with my drawings back when i made them. he reason i'm not happy with them anymore is bc i've practiced, and become better, yk? for fuck sake, atsuko used to look like this (left) and now he looks like that (right)

be a little kind to yourself. it's hard to admit that you can be good at and suck at something at the same time. your improvement will be directly linked to how often you can stomach to be bad at something tbh hahahah i stopped coloring the way i used to in 2021 because i loved doing it but i actually sucked at it. and im still in the middle of practicing coloring, and most of what i draw is ugly and i hate it,, but thats okay. i hopefully will find value in it once i start noticing some improvement

anyway sorry for the ramble the point is, find your weak points and target them. and then, practice. practice practice practice. dont believe these tiktok artists who say "oh i started drawing in 2021" and bust out the most amazing portraits in the history of ever. that isn't the reality for most people;

[bellamygateoldblog]

girls gotta start acknowledging that no they wouldn't feel better and more 'feminine' when they shave if the social structure to MAKE them feel like that wasn't already in place. girls gotta start thinking critically about WHY they 'feel better' when they wear makeup and shave and get surgery and inject shit into their faces to dissolve whatever else. it's not a choice. you can still do it whilst acknowledging that these things don't exist in a vaccum and they're patriarchal ideas ingrained into both ourselves and society and doing them anyway doesn't make us bad people because its literally not our fault and it's really fucking hard to unlearn and undo and being honest and NOT willfully ignorant and faux feminist abt it is gonna help other girls way more than whatever the fuck we're doing now. NO plastic surgery shouldn't be fucking normal. beauty standards should not be so engraved in public consciousness and all-consuming to the point people feel unworthy if they aren't meeting the standards of beauty. NO women don't "HAVE" to shave, no one is forcing their hands BUT the social pressure to concede and shame around it is really powerful and makes us anyways. Like this is driving me fucking crazy. The blind fucking feminism of being like 'ugh if a woman wants to wear makeup she can you're taking her autonomy!!!!!! it's abt CHOICE!!!!!! I ALWAYS feel better when I shave and that's just MY preference so I do it' like how about acc taking a single second to think abt what ur saying and realise that you feel better about wearing makeup and shaving because that's what's expected of you and by doing so you're fitting nicely into the mould society made for us all to fit into and no women are BuLLyInG you or jUdGiNg yOuR pReFeReNcEs or being misogynistic somehow for 'not respecting feminine women' we're all fucking brainwashed and trying to just support other women in ways that aren't just encouraging them to hide and distort themselves like saying you don't need plastic surgery baby you're fine as you are is now seen as being like OH SO YOURE AGAINST WOMEN MAKING THEIR OWN CHOICES TO PERMANENTLY ALTER HER FACE IN PURSUIT OF BEAUTY STANDARDS THAT ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE EVERY DECADE? SHAME ON U. Instead of being like yea get that potentially harmful procedure to feel better abt urself idk...I prefer for women to take steps to love themselves in their OWN skin they already have and steer them away from living under the oppressive weight of social expectations and I still shave and I still wear makeup sometimes and I still like to look nice and dress up but I'm also trying to unlearn the NEED to do this to feel worthy and talk to other women about the reality too and not just sit back and watch all of this get normalised and accepted from ppl being like its 'none of my business' because YES thats true but also arent yall fucking sad thay this is the reality plaguing your fellow women? Dont u just wanna be something a little different and tell her her natural nose is fucking gorgeous (bc it is) and its all very complex and I prefer being honest about why I do what I do and not just pretending and trying to gaslight myself I to thinking this is my choice and that I would still choose to shave my entire body of my own accord if I didn't have someone whispering in my ear constantly that if I don't im not a real woman or I'm unclean etc etc ???????????? i love and empathise x100 my fellow women but some of yall so fucking irritating and give me genuine headaches. Get real queens xoxo

[honeyfallen]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ( gimme five. from not via )

omg hi not via im ur biggest fan, ,, these are just for u tho u better be sleeping <333

this isnt something ive seen a whole lot as of a late but sometimes its very easy to see when ppl dont consider others on here like, , , Real Actual people and thats !! strange!! just bc u met someone on the internet and they are not Face to Face with you doesn’t mean u can just treat them how u please bc there arent like “real life” repercussions for u

kind of going off that but it can be really exhausting to always be reaching out to people only to get limited or cut off responses that just make it feel like someone is Uninterested . like i can be guilty of this!! 100% i am not going to sit here and say that i haven’t been on the other end of things and im trying to get better about it too!! but when ur constantly the person messaging someone to talk or check in or plot or Whatever, ur gonna get tired and like do that less and less and it’s really disheartening! like again, we all have lots of other stuff going on, im not saying u need to make urself available to someone when u dont have the time or mental capacity, but just one message here and there can make a difference, fuck knows im depressed as shit and have my moments of isolation too, its just hard if u feel like ur the only one making an effort

idk if this is unpopular or anything but i find it a lot easier to like,, write with ppl if im like,,, friends or just friendly with someone? i totally understand that not everyone here is looking for Friends or anything, sometimes ur just here to write and that’s fine and i’m like, not going to Not write with you bc ur not talking to me ooc all the time, but idk, it’s just nice to learn about y’all outside of ur muses and ur writing and it makes me a tiny bit more ,, comfortable? to approach ur writing and stuff? 

cliques are annoying, they can be offputting, but people writing more with their friends than with ppl they dont know isnt always a bad thing kjfdngfdgf i like to branch out and meet new people but i also have people that im just generally more comfortable with and that replies come to more easily for that! i promise im not here to make anyone feel left out, we’re all like,, mostly mentally ill and sometimes u gotta curate that space

darby already kind of said this but the way ppl pay female ocs dust sometimes, , ,,,,,,, i know i like,, mainly write a Man,,,,,,, but not that long after i first made elijahs blog i made a solo one for a lesbian oc i had and yknow what,,, yeah!! its the like specifically women that cant be shipped with Men that often dont get as much going on and u dont!! need to have a romantic ship to establish some fun and interesting dynamics between people!! elijah as a character is terrible abt distinguishing between platonic and romantic affection bt some of my favorite dynamics for him are ones that are strictly platonic or familial, theyre really fucking fun to write and should!! also be considered, just bc u cant ship ur character with another doesnt mean u cant find some fun shit to write / plot

[breathplayed]

69 and 76 for the ask game. take care!

THANK u lovely u too!!!! also Heh heh sixty nine

(69) how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel? oh jesus yeah. i actually like. this is embarrassing idk but when i write i kinda do Method Acting. i imagine the course of the character's story and how it's made them feel and shaped them, and i immerse myself completely in how i think their mental state feels like im trying on their persona, it's literally like i am roleplaying/LARPing them in my head, i try to pretend im them and how they are feeling and experiencing everything. no matter what emotion i write, if its sad or angry or scared or whatever !! i usually write in long multiple hour stretches bc i have worked myself into that characters headspace and i gotta keep going while im there

in some ways it helps because im like... not wondering how they're feeling, i Am feeling it . im pretending to be the character and even making expressions and shit (fun fact i took acting lessons and did theater for like 3 years in my early teens so it probably comes from there. bc i Remember them telling us to make urself BE the character and feel what they're feeling to understand and play them. lol) but it also hurts sometimes, i took a hiatus from tlg for a lot of reasons but one of them was that ch17 was So Fucking Hard to write. tlg!jimin's head is a Lot to be in and i felt overwhelmed, i wasnt sure i could tackle trying to like.... translate the horror/emotion of the grief of Faking Ur Death that vmin feel down into written word well enough. i was already really intimidated wondering how i could pull that off, and i wasnt ever like "oooh yeah i want to go work on that right now" bc it meant having to Be in that headspace lol. i only write tlg (or really anything super angsty) when i get inspired to imagine their feelings from like, daydreaming while driving listening to the playlist. me writing something emotional means i have to make myself feel that emotion so sometimes when i am in a rly good mood im like yeah.... writing isnt happening today, the Emotions wont go onto the page, sorry everypony

(76) what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? LOVE villains i smiled seeing this one again i love that u wanted to know this. answered it here!

[xodaisiesxo]

day -

i still speak well of you. when i tell others about what happened, they think of you so negatively. which i understand because they don’t know you. friends of yours try their best to understand and assume your reasons for leaving but they try not to think negatively of you - which i appreciate. i tell people, as much as i still didn’t get closure on why you really left / run away, i tell them that i still understand you. maybe it’s because you’re just dealing with so many demons in your head, maybe i did something like constantly pushing you to get married & whatever, maybe you feel that you’re not worthy of me, or maybe you’re just not strong enough for me/us anymore.

i can always assume and try to analyse the reasons on why you left me, but the truth only lies with you. of course i do get frustrated and annoyed that i didn’t get closure with alot of things. but when i think back on what happened on 20/9/22, seeing you in that state, it showed me how hard the decision was probably for you to make. & kudos to you, for making sucha hard decision for yourself, for us. takes a lot of strength to walk away from me - someone who you loved (i hope). so i don’t blame you fully. i understand you wanted to put urself first even if that meant that you had to walk away from this relationship. i wish i was strong enough to did that, but maybe i loved you too much? “sometimes it hurts more to stay” ? haha.

i don’t know if this decision that you made is the best decision for us, for you, for me. but if He made this happened, i guess i gotta trust. it’s hard, it’s depressing that things turned out this way. but i have to have faith and trust in His plans for me. He has better plans for me & He knows what is best for me. plus if we are really jodoh, nothing can come in our way and we will eventually find our way back to each other again. i hope you’re always thinking of me, and missing me. just like how i am. </3