#group writting assignments

[sleep02sunshiine]

I hate people, who fuck up a persons text when doing a pass around writting assignment.

Had to do one of those today.

Two girls completely ruined anothers girl's text by writting:

[cringe warning]

"He whispered into my ear <you are coming home with me>"

[sugar--brown]

The mechanisms were Jon's college band AU

You see this AU crossover between The Mechanisms and The Magnus archives? Yeah, I like that one.

But I prefer the two groups being only linked by Jon. So, Nicholas is not Toy Soldier, Basira/Georgie is not Ashes, etc... I just like to think Jon has the coolest friend group/family to hang out outside of work and no one except Rosie knows about the mechs.

I want to try writting a chatfic too, so here it is. It's just the first chapter but I'm so anxious that I can't continue for now...

- Monday, 06:02 - The crew of the starship Aurora

Jonny d’Ville: sent a photo

[The Magnus Institute stands tall over the photographer; they had to bend backward a bit to capture the top of the building. The grey sky of this early September morning makes a great background for the golden dome, which overlooks the institute]

Jonny d’Ville: I am here.

Ashes O’Reilly: didn’t you work here for 4 years now?

Gunpowder Tim: yeah you sound like a little kid telling his family that he arrived safe

Raphaella la Cognizi: are we ur family jon? its so sweet

Toy Soldier: Awww (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Jonny d’Ville: Shut up! You are the ones who insisted that I send you news more often.

Nastya Rasputina: Just say you are nervous about your new job and that you try to buy time by talking to us.

Nastya Rasputina: Iris whishes you good luck.

Jonny d’Ville: Are you together right now?

Nastya Rasputina: Yes Jon, at 6am we are not at work yet. Only you do that.

Ashes O’Reilly: wait hang on why are you awake Tim?

Ashes O’Reilly: I thought you were doing the night shift

Gunpowder Tim: Don’t worry big sib Alex, I go right to bed after giving some support to our first mate ;)

Jonny d’Ville: It is captain for you.

Gunpowder Tim: FIRST MATE

Nastya Rasputina: FIRST MATE

Ashes O’Reilly: FIRST MATE

Toy Soldier: FIRST MATE

Raphaella la Cognizi: FIRST MATE

Marius von Raum: FIRST MATE

Drumbot Brian: FIRST MATE

Ivy Alexandria: FIRST MATE

Jonny d’Ville: Oh! Now you are all here!

Toy Soldier: Take it as us wishing you good luck (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Jonny d’Ville: Fine. I do not have time for that anyway, I am already late.

Nastya Rasputina: You are certainly NOT.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- - 09:32 -

Jonny d’Ville: Does anyone know how to find and catch a dog without any property damages?

Gunpowder Tim: … what?

Raphaella la Cognizi: do u have some dog food with u?

Jonny d’Ville: Of course not!

Nastya Rasputina: Context.

Jonny d’Ville: Yes, right.

Jonny d’Ville: Elias (my boss) decided to assigned a third assistant to the archives. He’s sloppy, slow, clumsy and had let a dog in. It had been thirty minutes that we all try to catch it.

Gunpowder Tim: Aren’t you supposed to work in some kind of archives, J?

Jonny d’Ville: I do.

Raphaella la Cognizi: i want to meet ur new assistant

Raphaella la Cognizi: i like dog send a picture!

Jonny d’Ville: Yes, thank you Raphaella, I will. But, I really need to find the beast before it makes serious damages or my boss learns about it.

Gunpowder Tim: You didn’t see where it went?

Jonny d’Ville: Sadly, no. It went straight into the depth of the archives.

Nastya Rasputina: I can feel your anxiety through my phone. Deep breath, it’s not the end of the world.

Jonny d’Ville: It could be the end of my career.

Nastya Rasputina: No.

Gunpowder Tim: Send us a picture Jonny-boy, maybe we could help!

Jonny d’Ville: sent a photo

[The photo is a bit blurry and dark, but it’s possible to see shelves full of files and papers, boxes on the ground and a few old office furniture scattered around. On the floor, a muddy trail is barely noticeable.]

Raphaella la Cognizi: paw prints!!!!

Gunpowder Tim: Follow the mud Jonny!

Nastya Rasputina: Just treat the dog like a very active cat and bring it back outside, its owner should search it.

Jonny d’Ville: Thank you, everyone, I think I hear it now.

Raphaella la Cognizi: No prob!

Gunpowder Tim: You got this!

Nastya Rasputina: Don’t freak out and don’t overthink it. It’s just a job like any other.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- - 10:23 - The crew of the starship Aurora

Toy Soldier: Did I just miss Jon chasing a dog in his workplace?! ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

Raphaella la Cognizi: he promised to send a picture

Toy Soldier: (❤ω❤)

Jonny d’Ville: sent a photo

[It’s a closeup of the spaniel sniffing at the camera. The pavement of the sideroad is visible just like the wagging tail of the dog]

Raphaella la Cognizi: doggie! thanks jonny u made my day! pet it for me!

Toy Soldier: ฅ V•ᴥ•Vฅ!!! <3

Jonny d’Ville: My nerves are officially fried.

Toy Soldier: More than the time you asked Georgie out?

Jonny d’Ville: shut up!

Raphaella la Cognizi: come on j! it can happen to anyone no need to stress

Jonny d’Ville: I don’t need a surprise new coworker who mess things up first thing in the morning.

Raphaella la Cognizi: sounds like good story!

Toy Soldier: Yes! Tell us!

Jonny d’Ville: It’s nothing. Just Elias not warning me that I will have a third assistant. And the said assistant let a dog in the archives when he arrived. He looks clumsy, dumb, and useless.

Jonny d’Ville: I swear! He tried to buy me with a cup of tea! How disgustingly sweet is that? And he wears the most hideous and soft looking jumpers I have ever seen!

Jonny d’Ville: Disgusting.

Jonny d’Ville: Why is no one saying anything anymore?

Raphaella la Cognizi: nothing nothing

Toy Soldier: Just go back to work! ρ(- ω -、)ヾ(￣ω￣; )

Jonny d’Ville: Right. Yes. Better to get back. Have a nice day.

Raphaella la Cognizi: luv u!

Toy Soldier: (⌒ω⌒)ﾉ

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- - 12:11 - Tim to Jules

Tim: Marius

Tim: Marius my good man

Tim: Marius our real psychologist

Tim: Marius our ship doctor

Tim: Jules! It’s important come on!

Jules: Can’t I have one lunch break in peace?

Tim: Not when Jonny is dropping bombs like that in the group chat!

Jules: Let me check

Jules: Oh my

Tim: Soooooo?

Jules: yeah, the new assistant caught his attention.

Tim: just like with Jun!

Jules: like with Jun?

Tim: we never told you this story?

Jules: I know they were best friends over their mutual love of gothic, tragic, and angsty storytelling and that Jun taught him queerness but I’m not sure how it applies here

Tim: we didn’t tell you! Oh this is great! Let me tell you what happened before Jun and Jonny became Dr Carmilla and Jonny d’Ville.

Tim: well technically Jun had had already her persona but you see my point

Tim: alright so Jonny was this weird, emo, kid in first year of college. He was a mess really, worst than when you met him.

Tim: Jun was a Japanese student here in London to study for a year before going back to Japan and welcome London’s students. Exchange program yada yada yada…

Jules: I know that, you know?

Tim: shhhhhh… let me tell the story

Tim: so! When Jun started to be better than him in their literature class, Jonny was mad! I wasn’t even his friend but I could see it, the two of them spent all their breaks bickering. Jonny in his soft, shy, but angry voice and Jun in her broken English mixed with Japanese.

Jules: Wait hang on

Jules: They weren’t friends because they were good at the same things?

Jules: I thought that Jonny always treated Carmilla like some kind of idol, having a little crush on her and all.

Tim: they did after exchanging notebooks by accident! Jonny loved Carmilla’s songs so much and Carmilla loved his stories so much that they finally talked normally and became friends

Tim: and yes Jonny had very strong feelings for Carmilla from the start, but he’s just terrible at expressing it

Tim: like a kid bothering another one because they don’t know how to keep their attention on them

Tim: but I doubt it was romantic

Jules: Wait wait wait

Jules: are you implying that this new assistant Jonny just met is his new crush?

Tim: that’s what I’m asking you!

Jules: well… it’s true that Jonny has troubles to express himself…

Tim: mh mh!

Jules: but it could also be because he’s very stressed from having being promoted to head archivist and having to deal with someone new when he requested his colleagues.

Tim: yeah, “colleagues”

Jules: We both know what he means ;)

Jules: My diagnostic: we can keep an eye on it

Tim: Yesssssss

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- - 17:01 - Archives team baby!

Timothy had created the group Archives team baby!

Timothy had added Sasha

Timothy had added Martin

Timothy changed Sasha’s name for Hacker

Timothy changed Thimothy’s name for Inspector Tim

Inspector Tim changed Martin’s name for New Guy

Inspector Tim: Here we go! All done!

Hacker: Well that was quick, one minute after the workday is done. Impressive.

Inspector Tim: What can I say? I am a man of many talents! ;p

Hacker: Can’t deny that.

Hacker: But if allow me…

Hacker changed Hacker’s name for Sasha

Inspector Tim: Hey! I didn’t allow you!

Sasha: It would be easier for Martin to remember our name if we keep them written on this chat.

Inspector Tim: But he needs to know the dynamic too :(

New Guy: I don’t mind either way… whatever you prefer

Inspector Tim: Don’t be shy! We are all friends here!

Sasha changed New Guy’s name for Martin

Inspector Tim: :( :( :(

Sasha: Let’s keep it simple for now.

Inspector Tim: Alright alright but I keep Inspector Tim because I’m wonderful

Inspector Tim: So! Let’s play 20 questions!

Sasha: I thought you wanted to do it at a pub

Inspector Tim: This is the sober version, so we can compare ;)

Inspector Tim: Here’s the rules! Sasha and I know each other so we will team up. We will ask a question, you answer, and you ask a question, and we answer. 10 questions by team! Got it?

Martin: I think…

Sasha: Play without me, I’m entering the no signal part of the tube.

Inspector Tim: aw :(

Inspector Tim: Well I start then! What do you think of Jon?

Inspector Tim: Martin?

Inspector Tim: I see you typing for three minutes straight now, I’m getting worried

Inspector Tim: No pressure! You can refuse to answer.

Martin: Sorry!

Martin: It’s hard to find the right words…

Inspector Tim: Relax!

Inspector Tim: I won’t tell him ;p

Martin: I guess he’s alright… he seems professional and hardworking, I’m glad to work with him

Inspector Tim: That sounds like more a job interview but fair enough! Don’t hesitate to come see us if you have troubles, he can be a bit…

Sasha: special.

Inspector Tim: Yeah! That! But he’s nice

Inspector Tim: Deep deep deep down

Inspector Tim: (glad to have you back sash’)

Sasha: Your turn, Martin

Martin: What is your favourite band/song/music?

Inspector Tim: A safe choice but a very interesting one, very smart…

Sasha: Since I know Tim is busy googling the exact song he wants you to judge him on, I will answer first.

Inspector Tim: *thumb up*

Sasha: I like songs which tell stories, no matter the gender, I’m not a fan of generic lyrics.

Sasha: @ Inspector Tim your turn

Inspector Tim: Already?!

Inspector Tim: You lost your flamboyant speech

Inspector Tim: The archives fed on it

Sasha: Stop being dramatic and answer the question

Inspector Tim: Kay kay

Inspector Tim: It’s I kissed a girl of Katy Perry

Inspector Tim: The perfect mix of queerness for me

Sasha: Tim is pan, for context. So a song celebrating lesbian loved by a queer man is a good definition of him.

Martin: That’s great!

Martin: I mean no

Martin: Yes!

Martin: I just want to say that it’s great that you are comfortable with it

Martin: Not like you couldn’t be!

Inspector Tim: Relax Martin, I get it

Inspector Tim: And thank you!

Sasha: Really, Martin, we just want to integrate you in the group, so no stress.

Martin: Thank you

Martin: It really means a lot

[minzart]

Hi minzi, question for you: when the constructicons come into play, are they going to (eventually) admit Out Loud that reader is considered one of their creators? Or will they be tsundere about it but also, given how they are, probably fight over which of them is "creators favorite"?

Not at all, and that's bc bcbc reader has no reason to be called their creator, the constructions already existed when they met reader, so you aren't their creator

The stunticons are a case apart, since they will be made by Megatrons request, and bc Vector Sigma acted up after millenia, hence reader will help build them and that's why Menasor/the stunticons can call you creator but Devastator/The constructions won't

This isn't a creator!reader au XD, it has all this previous context, it's heavily based on G1, so if we don't see the group being currently made by the story, like the Aerialbots and Stunticons, then they already existed previously to the curent events

Creator is just a stand in for "parent" when a mech is trying to translate cybertron speech to human speech

To mechs/cybertron speech they use it as literaly: "the person that phisicaly build me/ comissioned me into existence", so Vector Sigma is the direct creator of all Cybertronians, but the head builder is concidered a creator and the person who asked for their existence the other one

Mentor can be, for translating cybertronian speech to human speech, also a stand in for parent, but for cybertronian is literaly just a mentor/person you are always seeking for advice (this I started to introduce in chapter 10 when Optimus calls Spikes dad mentor/creator, since they work togheter/he knows that a father is concidered someone that also gave you life somehow)

So like, for the Stunticons, bc it's with them that this concept will be properly explored in the fic:

Megatron is Mentor, Creator and Boss

Reader is Creator and coworker

Devastator/the constructions are mentors to Menasor (the stunticons do not accept their help easily but could also come to call them such)

Shockwave is also a creator

(Rumble is in a limbo area of creator and not, bc in the original he did steal all of the 5,but didn't modify them himself,so he kinda is a direct cause of why they exist but tecnicaly didn't realy build them)

While for the constructions, you are more like a coworker soon to be kinda friend

Since I'm not using the "fuck to generate new life" fandom interpretation, I can't use the popular "sire"/"carier" so I took some liberties and the "mentor" concept from, I think, IDW2, you know where Starscream has a "mom" so does Optimus and Megatron, Bumblebee is a mentor

While there it's more like "you are assigned Mentor since the conception of the new bot", I decided to mold it into a more "fluid" kinda relationship, you can have multiple mentors, a mentor can stop having that title if the trust if broken, you will eventually find mentors, it doesn't exactly mean mentor=creator even if it usualy starts that way

I just decided to add "creator" into the mix bc I find I found it funny to make reader a "parent" to motormaster, bc he is the green truck before becoming a cybertronian, then it escalated to "this guy has 3 parents, vector sigma, megatron and reader", then to, ok but why call creator?,then to I could complicate this to make things so fucked up when season 3 comes around in the story, to oh... I guess this is the sire/carier substitute to a race that doesn't sexualy reproduce and doesn't enter a mitosis state in this fics universe... neat

Thank you for the opportunity of rambling about the preparations for the story, sorry I'm not making parent reader to the constructions 😅 in this fic, but it just, doesn't alling with the story i' writting, hope I didn't sound mean

[fudgecicles]

Part 1: A bit LTTP, but I have been mulling over chapter 14 of Arknights, and thoughts have crystallized. My first reactions to the story was pretty positive, as a lot of the emotional beats worked on me, but I did wonder whether it worked as a whole.

Now, the Victorian arc was very ambitious, at times overly so. I think it's safe to say there are a few dead ends and turn backs in the story as the writing group tried to figure out how to handle this behemoth of a premise. It's the writing group's attempt to create a fictional civil conflict with a foreign invasion, which if you have followed any real life conflicts like that, they are actually extremely complicated and confusing to follow. While I personally like the attempt, it is not going to endear a lot of people to the storyline, and the story does creak at its attempt at juggling the details of a billion different things. It is also not helped by the fact that I think chapter 9 and 10 were both pretty messy introductions to the conflicts for different reasons for me personally. Chapter 11-14 though, each tries to bring focus to the story by aiming for a specific theme, each ending bringing the end of certain storylines to simplify the situation. In addition, you have Firelight and Babel bringing in much needed context. So, with all that in mind, chapter 14: Absolved will be the Seekers, the end of the Victorian arc, had a grand assignment. It has to close all the remaining different stories in a satisfying manner, all following an overarching theme that will satisfy its own story, but also the wider six chapter arc. It has to cover the fallout from Babel and integrate the inevitable exposition dump on the truth of originium into the wider emotional truths of the arc and the series. It has to create a rational geopolitical result for the status quo change for the Sarkaz, the Exemplars, the dukes, Dublinn, and even in a minor way, Reunion even if chapter 13 for the most part concluded its story.

So for my part, they have managed to land the plane pretty well, with a few rough spots aside. The best handled storyline is the one on the Sarkaz side. It was a good idea for Wisadel to be the emotional anchor to the overall theme of generational trauma, fate, and inheritance. She is kind of the main character of the chapter, along with Amiya and Siege. Her moment to moment dialogue is pretty funny, and her dynamic with Mon3tr and Doctor are some of the most fun I had reading this chapter. Really though, she has great dramatic moments too. I got emotional to her finally processing her grief over Theresa, and her finally getting to properly talk with Theresa in the assimilated universe. I find her character arc is beautiful, she inherited a weapon of war and got her name via war, but now she is given a hopeful name and inherits Theresa's ideal. Maybe the intent is, some day, Kazdel can follow her story writ large.

On the Theresa side of the story, she takes ownership of the fates of the Sarkaz by exorcising the Myriad Souls, the literal manifestation of generational trauma via scifi mystery technology. I found the actual concept of the myriad souls terrifying actually, a reality where some data of you is forever reliving the same trauma, and then passing that on to your descendant. The fact that seeing the truth of the myriad souls pacifies the Revenant, who ironically, his entire life was spent living in a similar state and jealous of those who passed on, was low key but very effective in driving that home. Anyways, I think it's interesting that Theresa after death chose to be ruthlessly pragmatic, and backed Theresis in exchange for being able to do this. This makes her reunion with Rhodes Island both sweet and tragic. And god do they milk the drama for all it's worth, with my personal favorite moment being the moment Amiya reveals how she knew who betrayed Babel the whole time, and that she has been grappling her image of who the Doctor is. Anyways, the Rhodes Island side unpacks the legacy Theresa left behind, how they are carrying on with her legacy despite the previous bad end, and how they have to move beyond her. As an aside, I really love Logos in this. He is badass, idealistic, a goof, and takes his responsibilities very seriously. A representative of sorts of the new generation of Kazdelians raised with different ideals via Theresa's new educational system back then, and now having the means to fight for the new ideals.

Wisadel and Theresa's stories, along with all the other stories: of Shining, the anecdotes of the previous kings of Sarkaz, the Revenant, Ascalon, Hoderer, and all the personal stories of all the Sarkaz from all walks of life from this chapter and Babel paint a very complex and complete picture of the Sarkaz. I don't know if the Sarkaz were perfectly executed through the whole series, as I wasn't sure how a depicting a group of people without a safe homeland that have parallels to a lot of marginalized groups in real life, as monstrous would go over. Especially in chapter 10, which sort felt like an Arknights Halloween episode (it was released in October!). Currently, I do find them to be very diverse culturally and philosophically, and very nuanced in how they are depicted. Especially when you see in relation to how monstrous the other nations are in their conducts, which unfortunately, is way too real. Anyways, my one take is, it's best not to compare them to any specific groups in real life, but rather take the generalities of the concept of homelessness and how wider society view those people. (There is also an interesting parallel to how the Tarans, another marginalized group in Arknights, also use the spectre of death to achieve their liberation goals, but I don't have the brain space to unpack that)

[dunilefra]

Admirable Articles of Palau's Constitution

ARTICLE IV. FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS

Section 5

Every person shall be equal under the law and shall be entitled to equal protection. The government shall take no action to discriminate against any person on the basis of sex, race, place of origin, language, religion or belief, social status or clan affiliation except for the preferential treatment of citizens, for the protection of minors, elderly, indigent, physically or mentally handicapped, and other similar groups, and in matters concerning intestate succession and domestic relations. No person shall be treated unfairly in legislative or executive investigation.

Section 7

A person accused of a criminal offense shall be presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and shall enjoy the right to be informed of the nature of the accusation and to a speedy, public and impartial trial. He shall be permitted full opportunity to examine all witnesses and shall have the right of compulsory process for obtaining witnesses and evidence on his behalf at public expense. He shall not be compelled to testify against himself. At all times the accused shall have the right to counsel. If the accused is unable to afford counsel, he shall be assigned counsel by the government. Accused persons lawfully detained shall be separated from convicted criminals and on the basis of sex and age. Bail may not be unreasonably excessive nor denied those accused and detained before trial. The writ of habeas corpus is hereby recognized and may not be suspended. The national government may be held liable in a civil action for unlawful arrest or damage to private property as prescribed by law. Coerced or forced confessions shall not be admitted into evidence nor may a person be convicted or punished solely on the basis of a confession without corroborating evidence.

Section 8

A victim of a criminal offense may be compensated by the government as prescribed by law or at the discretion of the court.

Section 10

Torture, cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment or punishment, and excessive fines are prohibited.

Section 11

Slavery or involuntary servitude is prohibited except to punish crime. The government shall protect children from exploitation.

Section 12

A citizen has the right to examine any government document and to observe the official deliberations of any agency of government.

ARTICLE VI. RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE NATIONAL GOVERNMENT

The national government shall take positive action to attain these national objectives and implement these national policies: conservation of a beautiful, healthful and resourceful natural environment; promotion of the national economy; protection of the safety and security of persons and property; promotion of the health and social welfare of the citizens through the provision of free or subsidized health care; and provision of public education for citizens which shall be free and compulsory as prescribed by law.

ARTICLE VIII. EXECUTIVE

Section 5

The cabinet shall consist of the heads of the major executive departments created by law. The cabinet members shall be appointed by the President with the advice and consent of the Senate and shall serve at the will of the President. No person may serve in a legislature and the cabinet at the same time.

ARTICLE IX. OLBIIL ERA KELULAU (Parliament)

Section 8

The compensation of the members of the Olbiil Era Kelulau shall be determined by law. No increase in compensation shall apply to the members of the Olbiil Era Kelulau during the term of enactment, nor may an increase in compensation be enacted in the period between the date of a regular general election and the date a new Olbiil Era Kelulau takes office.

by Dunilefra, working for World Politics

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

The Best of Doo Wop Uptempo 1989 Doo Wop / Rock & Roll

I think the thing that really made doo wop thrive as a genre throughout much of the 50s and early 60s was its unique implementation of layered backing vocals that were much more dynamic than typical pop vocals had been prior. Before doo wop, backing vocals across many different types of popular music largely consisted of simple harmonies that accompanied a lead singer, but with this music, something appeared to've changed for the better, and specific roles for each group member that ranged from bass to falsetto were fleshed out and assigned instead. At certain times within a song, a majority of the group might've fully harmonized, but what actually made this music so particularly alluring was when the opposite occurred: the whole group would operate as a single unit, but each member, or most of its members, would sing completely different things from one another at the same exact time 😌.

And the type of doo wop where this particularly more egalitarian style of group singing happened to predominate most was the uptempo kind, which the Rhino label did an especially superb job of showcasing here in 1989. Truth be told, this is probably one of the strongest collections of doo wop tunes that's ever been pressed to a singular disc, because while it definitely gathers together some of the biggest sellers that the uptempo style itself had to offer, like The Marcels' 1961 #1 hit "Blue Moon," it also finds room for more forgotten, but no less potent, songs that'd featured far less frequently on doo wop comps before this one too, like The Volumes' "I Love You," which made it to #22 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1962.

But I think the best song on here overall that really exemplifies this dynamic vocal arrangement that I'm talking about is probably "I Wonder Why" by Dion & The Belmonts, which happened to be the group's first single to ever chart—#22 in 1957—and predated Dion's own solo explosion by a handful of years too, as he would go on to reach #1 and then #2 with the back-to-back releases of "Runaround Sue" and "The Wanderer" in the early 60s. "I Wonder Why" is a song that really flexes its stuff unlike any other on this comp when it happens to go pure gibberish—the bass and middle parts do their own versions of "dun-duh-duh"s and "da-da-da"s, and the lone falsetto coasts above it all with some highly effective "ooh"ing and "oh"ing too. Captivating stuff that feels pretty historic!

And prior to doo wop, popular music writ large had really never had vocal group music that sounded like this before, and because all these different vocalists were all doing their own things energetically, uptempo doo wop naturally made for a nice pairing with rock & roll too, as some of these songs mixed their doo wop vocals with rock instrumentation, like "I Wonder Why," which itself sported a skipping drumbeat, and the Dell-Vikings' "Whispering Bells," which both incorporated sax and jangling guitar.

So an excellent release here from Rhino that highlights a bunch of the magic that'd been created by the uptempo wing of the doo wop genre. Rhino'd also released a Ballads comp that focused on the slower 'Makeout Point' side of this music, but while it had some unmissable hits on it like The Five Satins' "In the Still of the Night" and The Flamingos' "I Only Have Eyes for You," it paled in comparison to this release, which was far less formulaic, thanks to both its adventurous vocals and incorporations of rock & roll 😎.

Highlights:

The Dell-Vikings - "Whispering Bells" The Volumes - "I Love You" The Mystics - "Hushabye" The El Dorados - "At My Front Door" The Hollywood Flames - "Buzz-Buzz-Buzz" The Silhouettes - "Get a Job" The Flares - "Foot Stomping—Part 1" Dion & The Belmonts - "I Wonder Why" Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers - "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" Randy & The Rainbows - "Denise" The Dell-Vikings - "Come Go with Me"

[chornayadrakoshig]

I feel like the fact that ao3 is an archive definitely affects the fandom culture when it comes to criticism. It doesn't have promotios, reccomendations and other things that are more social media-y.

A lot of people in the comments talk about ff .net but my "formative years as fanfic writer" were even wilder.

My experience with fanfiction didn't start with ao3 or even ff .net - after using a few forums & blogs I moved to ficbook somewhere around 2014 (and left it about 1.5ish years ago, slowly moving my works to ao3 now)

And that site has (or had on the past, at least) multiple built-in systems for pointing out errors and giving criticism. Like you can select a fragment of the text and send the author a message about a typo or something, separately from comment section (which was helpful, occasionally, but a lot of the times annoying because apparently a lot of people can't read :) so many times I raised my eyebrows thinking why someone assumed THAT verb somehow made more sense). Or like if you pay to get your fic promoted the comment field changes to promt readers to give a separate star rating for characters, plot, etc. I also remember it having some kind of review exchange event where you'd be prompted to critique a fic you got randomly assigned (which was.... an experience.....).

While I think the general idea wasn't bad, the issue is that a lot of people don't know how to give criticism even if you ask? There are people who think if they hate something in the fic it's their right and duty to tell the author how awful it was just because. And they will be condescending and sarcastic about it. Imho that's not "constructive criticism". There are people who misread something and start to write paragraphs of criticism based on the fact that wasn't even in the text (one of my fics was mostly set in 1976, and one commenter left a whole essay on how the MC's clothing I described wasn't considered appropriate for beginning of 1960s. None of the events were set in the 60s)

And social media experience around that website focused A LOT on criticism at some point. Before on-site critique exchange existed you could find groups online for receiving critique on this site. Around 2016ish there was a boom of online "schools" for ficwritters where oftentimes people barely older then their students, maybe in their early 20s, would tell people how shameful it is to write self-insert fics or god forbid someone would think your OC is Mary Sue like it's the biggest sin on earth or just quoting some "writting tips for beginners" that they found online.

Unfortunately a lot of people who think they are giving critique are just telling their negative opinion with a sense of superiority and for some reason can't live by "don't like don't read" approach.

I'll be honest, I was perpetuating a lot if this culture too. And not only in term of comments. When moving my works to ao3, I looked through a few of my "essays" and "character analysis" and genuinely thought "damn what a sarcastic bitch you were who hurt you". I left one or two that I thought are still kinda funny at least and I've never reposted most of them.

Tbh I'm not really equipped to talk on the topic of "constructive criticism". I never learnt how to properly critique someone's work. Sure, I might be able to spot some typos; maybe some knowledge about analysing fiction is still boinking around my head since high school graduation (10 years ago, damn) - but I've never learnt how to _critique_ written work besides the tips on the internet like "say one nice thing then critique then one nice thing at the end! like a sandwich!!" and who knows how far it is from the actual critique. Definitely not me.

I just saw a Tik Tok that said writers on AO3 are not looking for constructive criticism in their reviews. I have no audience on this platform so I have to know if this is true? I've always left my pros and cons when reading a fic and now I'm concerned that the authors didn't like that.

Yeah writers are Not looking for criticism, constructive or otherwise. Unless they specifically ask for it, it’s considered rude and honestly a bit hurtful. In the least bitchy way possible, don’t do that. It’s unwanted.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Writ writing and prison litigation had shone a light on the abusive discretionary powers of the corrections system and invited the courts to scrutinize the system itself. This strategy prompted deep surveillance within prisons and a flood of administrative reports concerning the Nation of Islam [NOI]. As the group became more prominent in public discussions of race relations and its appeal among prisoners spread more widely, the state developed a framework to justify the continued suppression of Islamic prisoners.

Wardens and state prison guards authorized prison surveillance and in some cases even dedicated a staff member to internal supervision of the NOI. This surveillance was meant not only to absorb and report but also to disrupt and subvert. It provided the raw material for the production of state knowledge that could be used to quell prison activism. That the NOI constituted political subversion under the "guise of religion" became a stock phrase among law enforcement and prison officials. Through its intervention, the state assigned political meaning religious practice, further politicizing incarceration and the practice of Islam within prison walls. The buildup of a carceral state was not simply a top-down response to the gains of outside social movements or a result of federal shifts in political power. The dialectics of discipline between state actors and prisoners often produced these intersecting developments on the ground, which bubbled up to state and national policies.

More accurately than he could have known, Malcolm X wrote in his autobiography that prison officials "monitored what I wrote to add to the files which every state and federal prison keeps on the conversion of Negro prisoners by the teachings of Mr. Elijah Muhammad." Indeed, Commissioner McGinnis requested in 1960 that each prison relay names of all Muslim prisoners to the New York State Police's Criminal and Subversives Section. Within a year, prison inspector Richard Woodward began a series of monthly bulletins highlighting reports from individual prisons, national news on the Nation of Islam, and conference proceedings from the ACA. He then distributed this information to wardens throughout the New York system.

In its earliest form, state surveillance was unidirectional-from prisons to the capital. Disciplinary reports involving Muslims, group associations, names, addresses, and visitation lists were all forwarded to Albany, where they were transcribed and put into individual files with photographs and criminal records. These were in turn sent to the Criminal and Subversives Section. For example, one note from Attica read as follows:

Dear Commissioner: 'A', who was received here by transfer from the Elmira Reformatory and claimed to have no religion. It has been our experience that prisoners claiming no religion usually gravitate into Muslimism after joining the population. 'C' was received from Greenhaven Prison. He claimed his religion to be Protestant but the record card shows a keeplock for taking part in a large aggressive gathering suspected to be Muslims.

A month after Woodward's bulletins began, he reported that "many clippings have been received on the Muslim activity. They are most welcome." The inspector stressed that "information as to how a situation was handled in one institution may help in other instances." 

State surveillance relied most heavily on prison guards, who had daily contact with those imprisoned. One institution devoted a guard to making a list of all active members, searching their cells, and confiscating any literature relating to the NOI. Seized materials slowed the spread of conversions while serving as a source for state intelligence. One area of concern was prisoners' use of Arabic. The language not only had a cultural and religious function, but also stymied prison security. For example, Thomas Bratcher gave specific instructions in his letter to Malcolm X: his mother would write him of the minister's reply in red ink with "Three lines of Al-Fatihab" (referring to Al-Fatiha, the first surah in the Qur'an)." One state report said that it "would seem doubtful if the majority of the prisoners can read and write Arabic but if notes are picked up that seem to contain no meaning they would bear investigating." Two months later, six pages of Arabic to English and English to Arabic translations were confiscated.

Another surveillance strategy that relied heavily on prison guards was the scrutiny of Muslim eating habits and religious rituals. The refusal to eat pork in prisons dated back to incarcerated Muslims during World War II. At Attica, one prisoner was charged with wasting state food for throwing away his bacon. Bratcher wrote to Warden Wilkins asking for permission to carry food from the mess hall to his cell so he and other Muslim prisoners could eat after sundown during Ramadan. At Milan, where Elijah Muhammad had served time during World War II, prisoners took part in a three-day hunger strike against pork, which eventually resulted in Muslim-prepared food and a separate dining section. In California, the warden of Folsom State Prison wrote Attorney General Stanley Mosk and enclosed surveillance photographs taken by a guard. The correctional sergeant described twelve Muslims holding a meeting in the yard on "benches provided for the purpose of playing chess." As the sergeant approached, apparently snapping photos of the congregation, a prisoner proclaimed, "They want to take our picture, so let's give them a good one." Another suggested that they "face the east and pray to Allah." The group of twelve men then lined up facing east, with their hands raised waist high and palms facing the sky while one prisoner conducted prayer.

Prison officials challenged these actions, quickly seizing on dietary restrictions as a way to assess the legitimacy of a prisoner's religious beliefs. A memo from Attica stated:

In order to check the authenticity of the Muslims, each guard has been required to submit to the principal keeper's office The members who are eating pork will be... included in next month's a report on whether or not the particular prisoner in question is eating.

Several months later, another institution counted the Muslims who would not eat when pork was served in the mess mall.

Of the above total (of 70), 30 prisoners either refused their ration or gave it to another prisoner, and [an] additional 16 prisoners took their ration to their cells and only two were actually observed fasting.

Prison officials watched and recorded other religious rituals. SaMarion was charged with making "unnecessary noise" and "sloshing water around in the cell" at 5:15 A.M. despite this likely being part of his ablution and morning prayer, or fair. By monitoring prisoners eating, writings, and literature, prison guards acted as foot soldiers in the state's surveillance and persecution of Muslim prisoners.

Surveillance continued at the state and federal levels long after release. When a Muslim prisoner was paroled, the state police assigned to a subversive unit in that area would be informed "so they could keep track of him." They would also contact the parole guard so they could surveil his "activities in behalf of the Cult, both inside and outside of State institutions." If an NOI member was sent back to prison, the guard was required to immediately notify the commissioner. When Thomas Bratcher was paroled in 1964, agents at both the FBI and the BOSS were alerted and asked to run his name through their systems. 

By the mid-1960s, the Nation of Islam had a presence in major prisons from coast to coast, and the network of state surveillance expanded nationally alongside it. California had estimated a little over one hundred Muslim prisoners in the early 1960s, and New York nearly three hundred, with some prisons reporting over a quarter of Black prisoners as Muslim. Just a few years later, this number nearly doubled in New York and quadrupled in California. Some prisons began outlawing membership in the NOI, and one even established a rule prohibiting more than two Black prisoners from congregating together. The emergence of the NOI as a chief concern of prison officials is well documented in the proceedings of the ACA. Donald Clemmer, noted penologist and defendant in the Muslim religious rights case Fulwood v. Clemmer, and sociologist John M. Wilson were the first to present on the NOI at the ACA's conference in 1960. Richard Woodward quoted extensively from Clemmer's presentation in his monthly bulletin alongside a review of C. Eric Lincoln's book. By 1963, topics such as "The Black Muslims and Religious Freedom in Prison" and "The Black Muslim in Prison: A Personality Study" had surfaced as well. 

The 1960s marked a profound shift from rehabilitative strategies such as "bibliotherapy"- the use of books and education for therapy - to new technologies of violence and psychological warfare. Solitary confinement and isolation, sensory deprivation, and brainwashing were all proposed and Muslim prison litigation helped to "propel this shift." In 1961, Edgar Schein, a professor of psychology at MIT, presented a paper titled "Man against Man: Brainwashing" as part of a symposium sponsored by the Bureau of Prisons called The Power to Change Behavior. The presentations and ensuing discussion were reproduced in the official journal of the Medical Correctional Association. The conversation that followed Schein's talk immediately honed in on the question of "how shall we manage the Muslims."

Protests against racial persecution were analyzed and medicalized. As Jonathan Metzl documented

psychiatric authors conflated the schizophrenic symptoms of African American patients with the perceived schizophrenia of civil rights protests, particularly those organized by Black Power, Black Panthers, Nation of Islam, or other activist groups.

One doctor recounted that while "many of these Negro Muslims were highly intelligent...We also found that many of them had characteristics of mental disorder of a minimum degree":

We started out with the idea that these were people that formed a group of their own and that we could work with them as a group, and we soon learned that this was impossible and that what we were doing was providing a medium for their kind of illness-group illness to grow and to become more cohesive and even more difficult to work with both as individuals and as a group; and we were in a sense feeding their paranoid behavior so that each step in the direction of their goal resulted in additional demands and additional recruits because they showed strain.

Although the psychologist interpreted the Muslims' response to their situation as a form of paranoia, in essence he and the others at the conference were describing the characteristics of the dialectics of discipline, where greater repression of religious practices and political beliefs led to more resistance from those incarcerated. A group that had once been considered "model prisoners" now represented the vanguard of the prisoners' rights movement and the foremost threat in the minds of prison officials. Bertram Brown, a staff psychiatrist at the National Institute of Mental Health, ended the discussion by directly addressing the audience of prison officials: "We here in Washington are anxious to have you undertake some of these things do things perhaps on your own - undertake a little experiment of what you can do with Muslims."

- Garrett Felber, Those Who Know Don’t Say: The Nation of Islam, the Black Freedom Movement, and the Carceral State. Chapel Hill: The University of North Carolina Press, 2020. p. 70-76

[vounoura]

someone remind me later to type out a post abt how I think Tong writs are a fairly rareish occurrence within MW actually (esp. within 3E Tong, where they’re better established) bc of how every GM will have to very carefully weigh the potential consequences of each one (what new power vacuums arise with every death, how the effects of a death ripple out to allies and foes alike, and so on) and how it is rarely acknowledged that the very structure of their organization (an impartial political organization with no strong ties to any single faction yet nevertheless has some of if not the strongest control over Morrowind’s balance of power and status quo) embodies the daedric prince that sponsors them down to the very core of their being

[dxwnfxll]

hi! I'm here once again rquesting for iceboy bc hes so underrated ...underrated

how do you think he'll be with a partner? like, still an asshole or do u think he may be a lil softer?:o

also I love ur writting sm ,,

I LOVE WRITING FOR ICEBERG YEAHHH

Iceberg partner hcs (+ lil crush stuff)

-So Iceberg when you first had met him was an asshole, but with you he seemed a little..less asshole-ish?

-when he developed a *small* crush on you he began to 'deal with it' by regularly teasing you

-You could be doing anything and Iceberg was suddenly there ready to tease you about anything, he especially loved it if you teased him back

-as his crush for you got a lil bigger he began to want to be near you. All.the.time.

-he somehow got his lunch switched to yours, got assigned to your research groups somehow and even moved his in site apartment close to yours

-He'd also always find someway to bump into you, but he'd still act like an asshole. If you ran into him he'd scowl and go "watch it Y/n." Before grabbing his papers and walking away

-but as soon as he was behind you, he'd look back at you with a small blush before quickly running off

-now when you two get together..well he wasn't exactly the most romantic with it. Again this guy is an asshole so he wasn't sending you flowers and chocolates to ask you out

-he just came in your office with his arms crossed and just blurted everything out "look, i've had a thing for you for a long ass time and i think it's time we finally go out yeah? Oh here i even got a flower for you, Rights said something about you liking them."

-he totally didn't ask everyone about what stuff you like or how to even ask someone out

-once you accepted his feelings he still..kinda remained the same? He didn't do a 360 especially not out in public.

-the most PDA you'd get in a relationship is hand holding or him putting his arm around your waist when he got a lil jealous

-though when you two are alone, depending on his mood that day he can be very clingy to the point of suffocation/j or just sit near you while you two watch some random movie

-He's definitely got a softer side for you, but he won't exactly show it very often.

-He's the type of partner to act like an asshole to you but the minute you look away he's got damn puppy eyes staring into the back of your head

-so he's a mix of both, sometimes he can be an asshole to you (especially in public) or he can be soft

-he tries to not be super asshole-ish to you but sometimes he can't really control it, it's just a natural response

-if he see's he's gone 'to far' with being an asshole he won't exactly apologize, but you can mysteriously find your favorite take out on your desk tomorrow with a lil sticky note saying 'sorry'

-when he's soft it's like hell iced over (ha get it..i'm sorry) and usually those days are when he's had a rough day with Dr Gears.

-he won't say anything, if you're sitting on the couch or something he'll just plop down and rest his head on your shoulder.

-he'll wrap his arms around you while you ask "how was your day?" He won't really answer, you'll just hear a sigh and you already know "i'm sorry hon"

Hope you enjoyed!

[brownieracha]

The college experience

Pairing: OC x Lee Know

Genre: college au, angst

wc: 9.5 K

A/N: This is my fic for the clownracha fic exchange (so excited!!) and I got @simpracha as the person I had to write for!!! So the main character is kinda based on Doe uwu (look I tried). My first idea was something completly different, too complicated for me since is the longest fic i've ever wrote, so I hope you like what I ended up writting hehe. I wrote it with all my love <3 I really hope you like it ♥

Sumary: This is your typical enemies to lovers (or at least I've tried lol), where Jess wanted to have her typical college experience, but it got ruined by Lee Know. (i'm sorry i'm bad with summaries)

Tags: @simpracha @wooyussy @georgenootfound

“But I want you to go too” Chaeryeong looks at me with puppy eyes. “It’s not going to be as fun if you don’t come.” I simply sip on my coffee without giving her an answer.

“Come on Jess!” Yeji insists. “We’re going as a group, if you don’t go, we’re not going.”

For the last (seemingly never ending) 10 minutes, they’ve been trying to convince me to go to this random party they heard of on campus. I really, really don’t feel like going. I tell them so.

Also I have way too many unfinished assignments.

“What do you mean if she doesn’t go, we’re not going?” Lia blurts “This is my opportunity to talk to him!” She turns to look at me “Jess please.” I sigh.

I’m seriously about to get dragged to a party just so Lia can flirt with whoever her new crush is this week. I just wanted to have a nice coffee before class and now I’m finding myself trapped in this conversation. Perfect timing for someone to take me out, I think. Violently, preferably.

I really don’t want to go to this frat party. Where’s a bus driver charging at full speed when you need it?

Yeji looks at me with puppy eyes, and I wince. I’m far too easy for them. Their puppy eyes fill with excitement, and they know they’ve almost got me to go.

“I have to think about it” I settle with.

“Oh my god, guess who’s also coming to the party” We look at Ryunjin, who is showing us a random group chat. All we can see is a ofc I’m going! from a random number.

“Girl, I don’t know people by their phone number? Who’s that?” I squint. trying to get a good look at the profile picture.

“Someone you might be interested in.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

If my face could, it would turn into one big exclamation mark with two big fat red circles for cheeks. The girls start giggling when they notice.

“So now you have to come to the party.” Yuna says. “It’s your opportunity to flirt with Hoongjoong” I turn redder, if that was possible.

“Can you keep your voice down? I don’t need the whole building to know I have a crush on him, jeez.” I get up and grab my things. “I’m going to the library now to finish some homework, because I guess we’re going to that party.” I finish putting my things away and I put my jacket on. “But as soon as I feel uncomfortable, we’re leaving.” They all nod.

***

Later that day we all met at Chae, Lia and Yuna’s apartment to get ready all together. We all bring our backpacks with different outfits and makeup because we love getting ready together and sharing clothes. We start drinking and blasting our favorite songs while we look through outfit options. After a couple of hours of laughing and trying on clothes, we end up a little tipsy, but we do end up being ready enough to leave the flat.

Ryunjin is wearing a pair of black cargo pants, paired with a dark blue butterfly top and white platform sneakers. Lia and I are both wearing dresses (mine is red and hers is black), and we’re both wearing the same black converse model. Chae is wearing a beautiful pink skirt with a white crop top and golden heels. Yeji and Yuna end up wearing a very similar outfit, all black, edgy vibes, paired with a leather jacket each.

At last, we arrive at the house where the party is taking place. As soon as we go inside the - host? designated rando? - offers us some drinks.

“What’s in here?” I ask, smelling the cup. The smell of alcohol hits my nose in return, strong enough to make it twitch.

The boy who just gave us the cups shrugs his shoulders and goes back into the kitchen. Oh, okay then.

“If I were you, I would rather drink out of the bathroom sink.” We hear a manly voice next to us.

“Stinks from here, girls. ” I look to my left and see three men standing next to us.

“Woo!” Ryunjin goes to hug the red haired one. “What the hell? I haven’t seen you in a minute! I missed you!” They hug.

The red-haired man is well known by us, he’s been friends with Ryunjin since she started college. They’re both majoring in dance, but Wooyoung is two years older than her, so they don’t go to classes together. 

“You know, I’ve been here and there, doing lots of stuff.” He shrugs with a smile, looking between us and his friends. “Let me introduce you to my friends, but I think you already know them.” He smiles. “He’s my best friend San.” Ryunjin laughs and San winks at her. “And this is Hoongjoong.”

As soon as he introduces the last boy, I feel an elbow poking my side, and I give Yeji a warning look. Zero subtlety, this girl has. Can’t fathom the idea that not everyone wants to be put on blast in front of their crush and an entire frat.

I’ve had a crush on Hoongjoong since I first started college - he was three courses ahead of me and he was one of the students that came into our class the first day to tell us about the course. He even offered his help with anything we could’ve needed. Ever since then -  since hearing how passionate he was about producing and writing music, I’ve felt naturally drawn to him.

The conversation runs smoothly from there. After introducing ourselves, we converge in a relaxed half-circle by the left far corner of the room. It’s fun, and I laugh at the retelling of my friends’ adventures in college and the venture of adult life.

A good thirty minutes must’ve gone by, when Lia and Yuna excuse themselves.

“We’re going to try and find Jeongin.” Yuna informs. “Let’s hope today’s Lia’s lucky day.” She winks, making everyone laugh. And with that they go into the living room.

The group falls into a short-lived silence, not uncomfortable. I take one look at the inside of my cup - I still haven’t thrown it away, I don’t know why. To my right, I faintly register Woo and Ryunjin catching up.

“Jess, right?” Hoongjoong says next to me. “I remember you from your first day. You were asking a lot of questions. You were so eager to start doing things” he smiles at me. My knees nearly buckle when he does.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved music. Ever since I was very little. I started playing the piano when I was a child. My parents say I always had some kind of music on.” I smile. “And if I wasn’t, I’d just make the music myself. I still do that - it’s like my brain is a living jukebox.”

I get a little shy - I usually do, when I’m talking about myself. I instinctively look down. “I ended up settling for a music major, it made sense for me. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes, but - not with my music.” I look back at him. His eyes look soft around the edges, and I grin back at him. “Plus, it would be cool to make music that means something to someone. Music makes me happy - I want to give that happy back.”

“It’s kind of the same for me” he replies, and he’s still smiling as he does. I repress the urge to sigh lovingly - that would be embarrassing. “Ever since I started writing music, I’ve been able to express my feelings better, and-”

“And he can spend days in the studio working on a song. He’s a bit obsessive about it” a tall man appears behind him and hugs him by the waist. “I have to drag him out of the studio more often than I should.” He laughs. Hoongjoong looks down, biting his lip to repress a smile.

He’s so fucking cute.

“That’s not true.” Hoongjoong whines.

Suddenly, the other man grabs him by the chin, turning his face. Oh.

They look at each other for a couple of seconds. They’re not even doing anything, but I get the insane urge to turn around and avert my gaze. Oh wait.

The feeling flares as the taller man closes the space between them and kisses Hoongjoong.

Well. Fuck.

“Seonghwa! You made it!” Wooyoung greets the tall man. When they hear him, they separate from each other. They greet each other and Wooyoung introduces us to Seonghwa, who apparently is Hoongjoong’s boyfriend.

And apparently, they’ve been together for 2 years now. How could I not know this?

I can feel Yeji, Ryunjin and Chae staring at me from the corner of my eye. Fuck, I’m feeling properly embarrased right now. If I don’t leave right now I’m going to throw up all over Chae’s fancy shoes.

I say goodbye to everyone quickly and go try to find Lia and Yuna. I hope Lia has had more luck than me tonight.

I go into the living room trying to find my friends, but when I turn the corner, I run into a slightly taller man. I immediately stop before I crash into him. I look up to see who he was and apologize for not looking where I was going. To my surprise I find someone I wish I wouldn’t never have met.

“Oh hey, sorry, I didn’t see you there.” I say, and I try to get away.

“Hey! Jess! Wait!” I hear him calling me while I was leaving. “Wait! Can we talk?” I hear him coming behind me.

“I don’t have anything to talk with you” I turn around to face him. “You already said enough  a while ago, Minho.” And with that I turn back around and go away as fast as I can. I really don’t want to talk to him or even be in his presence.

Instead of looking for my friends I decide that it is a good time to go home. Alone. I don’t want to be here anymore. Seeing him reminded me of why I don’t like going to parties. I walk out of the house, and I see my friends as I’m leaving, but they don’t see me, so I decide to leave without bothering them.

Once I get home, I look in the mirror and I see that my makeup has smudged, I didn’t notice I was crying on the way here. I take of the rest of the makeup, put my pajamas, and get into bed, ignoring the calls and messages from my friends. Tomorrow would be a better day. I’m hoping.

The next morning the sun wakes me up, I check my phone to look at the hour and I see the messages from the group chat and calls from the girls.

I call them in order to tell what happened at the party. I press the videocall button and wait, not for too long because they immediately pick up the phone. Since Ryunjin and Yeji share a bedroom at the dorm, they appear on the same screen. They both look okay, they are the responsible ones, I’m guessing they didn’t drink much yesterday. On another screen I see Chae and Yuna, they look a bit hungover. I see myself on the screen and I wasn’t expecting to look this bad. Apparently, I didn’t take off my makeup very well yesterday.

“Woah Jess, are you okay?” Chae asks, “You look like you didn’t sleep well.” I see her worried face.

She’s not wrong though. I couldn’t sleep last night as I wanted to, all because I kept remembering all that happened last year. I was convinced I was over everything, but apparently, I’m not.

“Where’s Lia?” She’s not answering the video call and I don’t see her on Chae and Yuna’s screen. Then I remembered she was the one that wanted to go to the party to flirt with Jeongin, so I’m guessing she was lucky last night.

“Well, she hasn’t come home yet.” Yuna says, waving her eyebrows. So, I was right, she was luckier than me last night. I feel so happy for her, she’s had a crush on Jeongin since we first started college.

“Hey girls” Lia appears on the screen.

“Omg speaking of the devil. Where are you?” Yeji asks. She opens her eyes wide when she realizes.

“Do I have to say it, or do you already know what happened?” Lia whispers. We all laugh. “Let me go to the bathroom so I can talk.”

Once we’re all more calm with Lia’s news, I start telling them what happened. Since Yuna and Lia weren’t there when we met Seonghwa, I told the whole story.

“… so, when they kissed, I went to look for Yuna. And when I was going into the living room, I almost crashed into…” I stop.

“No dramatic pauses, Jess!” Chae exclaims.

“…Minho” They all become silent for a minute. They all know how much he hurt me.

It all happened when I first started college, I was so excited to meet new people, and to party. The whole college experience.

That’s when I met the girls, in my first year. I met Yeji, Lia and Yuna in class, we were paired together for a group project, and we instantly became friends. With that we started to go to parties, and we met Chae and Ryunjin. Yeji and Ryunjin were friends before that because they were sharing a room at the dorm, and Chaeryeong and Ryunjin had met each other in class. They were both doing a dance major. And with that we started going to a lot of parties together and meeting new people at every party we went to. That’s how we met Minho.

One party we went to was at this big house in which eight people lived. We were invited to it because three of our classmates lived there, Han, Changbin and Bangchan. They were known as 3Racha, and they were kind of famous in college for their music. They knew each other before going to school and they were already producing some music. So naturally I talked to them early on when I started the music major. Han and I instantly became friends, and that’s how we got invited to that party where I met the rest of that friend group. They were all very nice, Felix and Hyunjin shared classes with Ryunjin and Chaeryeong so they already knew each other. Minho was also a dance major, but he was older than them. In that party is where Lia met Jeongin and she’s had a crush on him since then.

When I first met Minho, he was nice, and since he was older than us, he showed us around. He made sure we were always safe, and he was almost like our protector. Or that’s what I believed. I started to spend more time with him and his friends, and with all that the eight of them and the six of us became close friends.

One day after a party I started to realize that I was falling for him. I told the girls how I felt about him, and they all encouraged me to go and tell him about my feelings. I wasn’t confident about it until one night.

I decided to talk with him about my feelings and maybe ask him out. I was convinced and maybe a little tipsy. So, I went over where he was, and asked him if I could talk to him in private, since he was with two friends, Han, and another boy that I didn’t know. To my surprise his response was a laugh. I was very confused, because we have talked in private before and I didn't really understand what was going on. I took a deep breath and tried again to make him come with me to talk privately. He didn’t even look at me and started laughing, again, with this other boy and all I heard was “I told you man”. I looked at Han, not knowing what was going on, trying to look for an explanation. I was starting to be mad at him, I wasn’t understanding his behavior. Han looked at me with compassion in his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re obsessed with me or whatever” What! I couldn’t believe what Minho was saying. I’d never seen him behave like that before, he was always nice with all of us, even with me when we were alone. I wasn’t falling for him for nothing. “Do you really think I was interested in you? God, you’re so naïve. Not everyone being nice to you means that they want you.”

I start feeling like i’ve never felt before, my heart was broken and I was humiliated. I paralyzed, not knowing what to do, not even realizing that tears had started forming in my eyes

The other boy and Minho started laughing and Han got up to hug me.

“Man, you’ve fucked up this time, I don’t even recognize you.” Han took me with my friends and told them what had happened, as I wasn’t able to speak. I wasn’t, my brain was still not processing what had just happened. I was really shocked. I wasn’t expecting a love confession from him, I only wanted to talk to him in private. And if he really wasn’t interested, I thought he would have told me in a kinder way. I was sad and mad at him. With that I decided that I didn’t want to go to another party if he was there. I didn’t want to see him anymore. My feelings were hurt. The next day he tried to come and talk to me, but Yeji and Ryunjin didn’t allow that to happen.

I lost contact with some of the boys, since I didn’t attend any of their parties that year. I only talked to 3Racha when we were in class, and I never came across Minho again. Not until last night.

“And when I saw him all the feelings came back, I thought I had forgotten what he had done.” I feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes. “But I guess I can’t forgive him for what he did.” I start crying. 

“Well, fuck him.” Lia said, after they all stayed silent for a minute. “Let’s go grab breakfast all together and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” I smile at her words.

I get up from my bed to get ready for breakfast with them. Being with them always cheered me up when I’m feeling down. So that’s exactly what I needed right now.

Half an hour later we all meet at our regular café place, I’m the last one to arrive there. When I get to the table where they all were I get hugged by all of them at the same time. My tears threaten to start coming again.

“If you need to cry, do it Jess. You’ll feel better after it.” Yeji says after looking at my face.

I laugh while a single tear drops down my cheek.

“I don’t want to waste another tear on that jerk, he doesn’t deserve it.” They laugh. I feel safe with them.

“Of course, girl, he doesn’t deserve anything from you.” Ryunjin holds me by my shoulder as we sit side by side.

“Let’s change the topic, shall we?” Chae claps her hands together. “Ryu, how was last night?” She waves her eyebrows.

“Ryu?!” I turn to my side to look at her. Ryunjin turns red. Another one that was lucky last night. I can’t help but feel a bit hurt, but happy for them. I wish things were easier for me, but since that night I hadn’t had luck with love.

“Well…” Ryunjin starts speaking, turning redder every second, “I met someone…and” she giggles.

“Can you go straight to the point already, please?”

“Chaeryeong, don’t be impatient.” Yeji laughs. “But, who, who did you meet?”

“I met a girl, a really cute girl and we talked for a while” she stops, her face is the reddest I’ve ever seen her. She’s always confident when it comes to flirting and talking about it. “And she kissed me” Ryunjin covers her face with both hands.

“Wow, you must really like her! I’ve never seen you like this.” Yuna chuckles. “Who is this mysterious girl? Do you have pictures?”

Ryunjin shows us her Instagram.

We stay together until lunch time, talking about different things and laughing a lot. At this point I’ve forgotten about Minho and everything that happened last night. I go home to eat something feeling so much better.

Minho POV

I hadn’t seen Jess since last year, so running into her at the party was weird for me. After being so close last year, until I fucked up. I feel so sorry for what I did to her, all I want to do is apologize. So, when I saw her at the party, that was my plan. I overheard the boys saying that she and the girls would be at the party, so I thought that was the perfect opportunity to talk to Jess. But when she ran away from me, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I feel so bad for the words I said to her, I really wasn’t thinking and maybe a little drunk. Which doesn’t justify what I did. I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me, but she deserved an apology from me, at least that. I also needed to do it, I needed to heal from my past, and she was the last person I had to apologize to.

The day after I told Jess the horrible things I did, the boys sat me down because they were done with my behavior. I was mad at them because it was none of their business how I behaved.

“I’m old enough for you to tell me how to behave.”  I left the conversation. they were no one to lecture me. But then the next day Han came into my room, and we had a long conversation. I said horrible things to him, and he did to me. We both ended up crying, and when I saw my best friend crying for the stupid things that were leaving my mouth is when I realized that I needed to do something. I apologized to all the boys for what I said the day before, and they helped me find a therapist. Because that’s what I needed.

One year after I changed. And I realized how much I hurt one of the few people that cared about me. That’s why knowing she was going to be at the party was the perfect opportunity for me.

“So, were you able to talk to her?” Han approached me minutes after she ran away from me.

“I didn’t” I look at the floor. “I fucked up so bad, I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me. But what I wasn’t expecting was her running away. I feel worse than before, she deserves an apology.”

“Take it easy and expect her to run away from you.” Han puts his hand on my shoulder “You really hurt her feelings. You can’t picture how miserable she was after what you told her.” Han was still close to her since they shared classes.

“I know! I just want to tell her how sorry I am.” I look down. “I’m going home.”

On my way home I kept thinking about Jess' reaction, and it was clearer that she deserved the apology as soon as possible. The best option to get to talk to her was trying to see her at college. And that was my plan.

A couple of days have gone by since the party and I’ve already forgotten about it. Life went back to normal, going to class and spending time with the girls.

I was going to meet them at the cafeteria after finishing my classes for the day. So after putting all my stuff in my bag and saying goodbye to my classmates, I went there. None of them were there when I arrived so I went to a table and sat there, waiting for them. Suddenly I heard someone pulling the chair next to me, so I look up from my phone, thinking that it was one of the girls. To my surprise I see Minho sitting next to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in a serious voice.

“Listen, I want-”

“I don’t care, because I don’t want to listen.” And with that I get up from my chair in order to leave. I don’t need to listen to anything he has to say. He will hurt my feelings once again.

“But, Jess, please-” He looks up, and for a moment I feel sorry for him. But I have to be strong, I’m not willing to go through the same thing I went through last year.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have anything to talk to you about, so please leave me alone.” I go, without looking back at him.

As soon as I’m out of the cafeteria I look for a bench and I sit down. I unlock my phone and look for the group chat to ask the girls if we could meet somewhere else.

I don’t want him near me for now. Seeing him is opening old wounds I thought were closed.

For a moment I felt like he had changed, that he wanted to go back to where we were before. But then I remembered the pain I felt when he said those mean words to me. I will never forget, as much as I want to. I start to remember the good times that we had together as friends, and I start to feel furious. A single tear drops down my cheek.

A few moments later they all arrive at the coffee shop we talked about. When we all have our coffee, I decide to explain what happened, since none of them wanted to ask me why the sudden change.

“So,” I start, finding it hard to explain. Lia, who’s sitting next to me grabs my arm trying to calm me down. “I- He-.” I clear my throat before continuing. “He came up to me, to talk with me.” I finally say.

“Who? Minho?” Ryunjin exclaims. “What did he want?”

“I don’t know” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to talk to him” I look down. “When I saw him there, I thought that he had changed for a moment. Then every bad memory came to mind, so I ran out. I don’t know what he wanted.” I look up again just to see Yeji’s worried face,

“Are you okay?” She asks.

I don’t know what to answer, I’m not really sure. I’m feeling so many things that I’m not sure.

“I truly don’t know” I hold back the tears that are trying to escape my eyes. “I thought I was, until he tried to talk to me.”

“Maybe he wanted to apologize.” I look at Chaeryeong as she said the craziest thing I’ve heard in a while. “I’m just saying! Don’t look at me like that. I know how much he hurt you, but maybe he’s changed.”

“I don’t want to keep talking about him, let’s do something else, please.” I say.

We end up chatting about more fun things. Since Yuna’s birthday was coming soon, we were planning a party.

“We don’t have to throw a big party if you don’t want Jess. I wouldn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She looks at me and grabs my hand. “I want all of us to have fun.” She squeezes my hand.

“I’ll be okay, really!” I know Yuna loves going to big parties and what better way to celebrate her birthday other than throwing a big party for her. “I think it will be fun actually.”

And I do think that I would have so much fun at that party. I’ll be with my friends, having a nice time without worrying about anything else. I just hope this party goes better than the last one. At least for me.

“Okay class, we’re going to do a project about music through history. This time I’ll make the pairs so there’s no problems this time.” The teacher looks over his glasses. He looks back at the paper he’s holding between his hands. “I’ll pin this paper on the board so you can take a look at the pairings for this project.” He does that and as soon as he gets away from the board, we all go to check it out.

“Jess!” I hear a voice behind me as I’m checking the paper. “We’re together!” I turn around just to see Han’s smiley face.

We get away from the people that are still checking the paper and we sit together.

“We’re going to do the best project.” Han claps excited. “I’m so happy that I get to do a project with you.” He hugs me from the side.

“Yes!” His excitement is contagious. I’m happy that he’s my partner for this project and not someone I don’t know that well. “We should meet up and decide on how we’re doing this.”

Suddenly his phone starts ringing. “I’m sorry I have to pick it up.” He gets up. “I’ll text you later.” He says as he goes out of the class.

I get up and go back to where I was sitting before, next to Yeji, Lia and Ryunjin. I find Lia and Yeji there.

“Who did you get for the project?” I ask them.

“We’re together for this project!” Lia exclaims. “We were so lucky. What about you? Who did you get?”

“Han! I’m happy to do a project with him to be honest.” I smile, remembering how excited he was to be paired with me. He was one of my best friends but after the Minho incident we hadn’t talked much, but I knew he was always there for me if I needed it.

We go where Ryunjin was talking to a boy from class I don’t recognize, it must be who she has to do this project with.

“We’re going to the cafeteria, are you joining us?” I ask her, hugging her from the side.

“I’ll go in a second, grab me a coffee please.” She hugs me back, and then turns back to keep talking to her project partner.

As soon as we get into the cafeteria, we see Chae and Yuna at a table, so we join them. We all order our coffees and Ryunjin’s. The latest join us five minutes later.

“What were you talking about?” She asks as soon as she sits down and leaves her things on the floor next to her.

“Yuna’s party.” Lia replies. “We have almost every detail planned.” We all nod.

“I have to say that I’m very excited to do this.” Yuna giggles. “It’s going to be epic.” We laugh. She always gets excited to go partying. A few minutes later I hear my phone and I check it, just to see that Han has messaged me about meeting up for the project. I unlock my phone to reply while they keep talking about the party.

I lock my phone and go back to the conversation with the girls about Yuna’s party. We have to plan this well.

“We can go tomorrow to pick up decorations.” Chae suggests.

“I can’t, I’m going to Han’s to do this project about music through history that we have to do together.” I reply. “Can you go without me? I could pick up the cake the day of the party.”

They all agree on that. The party will take place in two weeks at Yuna’s so we still have time to put everything together without forgetting about classes and homework.

Minho POV

I go inside the restaurant where Han and I decided to meet for dinner. After a day full of things, mostly classes and homework, what I need the most is to talk to my best friend. I’m still thinking about the interaction I had with Jess the other day.

When I saw her sitting alone at the university cafeteria, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk with her. And for a second I thought she had somehow forgiven me, for a moment she seemed like she wanted to listen to me. Just for a second. Then she ran away from me once again. I felt a pain in my chest when she did, when she went away without giving me a chance to apologize. When I felt that I realized that she must have felt like that when I rudely rejected her.

“Hey!” Han waves me from the booth he’s sitting at. I wave back and I go there to sit in front of him. “Are you okay?” He asks me as soon as he looks at me.

“Tired day, just that.” I sigh. “I had two different dance classes and that’s exhausting. And after that I had to study and work on a project. I have no energy left to be honest.” I rub my face with both hands.

“Are you sure that’s it? Minho, I know you and I know something is bothering you.” He does know me well. Damn. “It’s this about Jess, isn’t it?” Han is the only one who know how sorry I am for how I behaved last year. He knows what I felt for Jess, and how I fucked up because I didn’t know how to manage my feelings.

“It is about her.” I look down. “I feel awful for what I did.” I look back.

“Did something new happen?” I still haven’t told him about the other day at the cafeteria.

I nod, and I tell him about it. I also tell him how I’m feeling. As I’m telling him that I realize how easy it would have been knowing how to communicate my feelings. If only I knew how to a year ago, good thing the boys made me search for a therapist. I wish I perceived that I had a problem and I had to go earlier in life.

“You have to give her time. She was devastated when you did that. You’ll have to wait until she wants to hear you.” He was there for her, since they were good friends. “For now, keep trying, but don’t push it if she doesn’t want to talk to you. You don’t want her to hate you even more.” He laughs nervously. I know he feels awkward talking about this, and I would feel too.

I stay silent for a few minutes, thinking about everything. About how to approach her in a way she’ll feel comfortable if she can ever feel that way with me again.

“I guess I’m feeling guilty because she didn’t deserve to get her college experience fucked up by me and my stupid decisions.”

“We’ve already discussed this, don’t do that. Self-pity is not going to fix the past, you have to work on the future.”

Next day arrives and I wake up earlier than usual. I have to clean my apartment before going to Han’s house. I hate every second of it, waking up early has never been my thing. I always stay up late finishing stuff that needs to get done.

An hour goes by, and my apartment is somewhat clean, at least clean enough to me. I pack my things and go out to catch the bus to meet Han. Before going into the house, I buy two coffees since I know Han is not a morning person either and his energy is going to be low.

Just a moment before ringing the bell I realize that, if I’m going to be here, Minho is probably going to be around. I take a deep breath putting myself together, he cannot dictate where I can feel or not feel comfortable. I decided at that very moment that he doesn’t matter anymore, that he can’t hurt my feelings again. He doesn’t matter. Did it take me going back to his house to realize that? Probably, and I should have come to the conclusion earlier. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

I ring the bell and I hear voices inside. I can recognize Changbin’s loud voice, so I’m guessing he’s going to open the door. Seconds later I’m greeted by him, opening the door as I predicted.

“Hey Jess!” I hug him, and he hugs me tightly. “Come inside, Han is upstairs.” When I enter their house, I see Bangchan sitting on the sofa, so I go towards there to greet him.

“Jess! How have you been?” He gets up to hug me. I’ve missed this so much. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from them.

“I’ve been good.” I smile. Is this lying? I don’t think it is, technically I’ve been good. And bad. “I should probably go upstairs, I bet Han is waiting for me.”

“Or maybe he’s asleep again.” I hear Changbin shouting as I’m going up the stairs. I laugh.

I knock on Han’s door and enter his room, still laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, turning his head to look at me. He was sitting on the floor, with his back resting on the back of the bed. I go sit next to him, giving him a coffee. “Thanks.” He smiles. He looks tired, he had probably pulled an all-nighter.

“Nothing, just Binnie.” I say between laughs. I put my backpack on the floor in front of me and I take out my laptop and a notebook. “Yesterday I was looking at the notes the professor gave us, and I figured out how we can distribute the work so it’s easier.” I hand him the notebook where I drew a diagram on which part of the project we have to do.

We get into it pretty quickly, just talking when we have any doubts about the information we’re finding. An hour and a half later we have pretty much all the information we need. We just have to put it together and make it look presentable.

“Come in!” Han says after hearing a knock on the door. Right after that Felix’s head pops through the door.

“Hi. I baked some brownies. Do you want to try them?” He offers a plate full of them to us. He’s so nice. I haven’t tried any of his brownies yet, but if they are as good as his cookies, I bet they’re going to taste amazing. “So, how’s your project going?” He sits on the floor in front of us while we eat his brownies.

“I think it’s going smoothly.” Han replies with his mouth full. “It shouldn’t take us long to finish it.” He looks at me and I nod, the project is easier than we both expected so it should be done fast.

“I will leave you then so you can concentrate.” Felix gets up and leaves the room, leaving the brownies for us.

After another hour we decide to stop. The project is almost finished, and we need to take a break.

“Oh, Jess.” I look up from my laptop to look at Han. “Do you want to listen to the last song we were working on?” I nod and he hands me an earphone.

I’ve always enjoyed 3racha’s music, and the whole process they go through to make new songs. I find it very interesting how the three of them manage to synchronize and make such good music. Since I’ve always worked on songs by myself, I find it hard to work with other people.

“It’s really good!” I exclaim after hearing what they’ve got so far. “Now I need to listen to the whole thing.” I look at Han and he laughs.

“I will show you as soon as we finish it. I’m glad you liked it.” He hugs me. I’m so happy that I got paired with him to do this project. This has made me realize how well we work together, and how much I like spending time with him. Fuck Minho for hurting me and making me distance myself from this wonderful people.

“I should get going.” I separate myself from the hug and start putting my stuff back in my bag. He gets up and goes downstairs with me.

When we get to the living room, I see an orange ball of fur looking at us, sitting on the edge of the sofa. I immediately go over there to try and pet the little cat, and he lets me do that.

“Hello, tiny!” I say as I’m rubbing his fluffy head.

“That’s Soonie, it’s Minho’s cat.” I slowly turn around to face Han, my face holds so many emotions and I can see he’s feeling those emotions.

“Don’t look at me like that Jess. I know how you’re feeling but maybe you should let him talk to you.” Rage. Rage is all I can feel right now. Soonie jumps from the sofa he was sitting on to go somewhere else.

“I don’t want to hear anything he has to say, he already said enough a year ago. Don’t you remember?” I spit out my words. I can’t believe he’s saying this to me, he saw how bad Minho made me feel, he was there. I thought he was on my side.

“He’s changed, he’s trying to be a better person.” I roll my eyes at his words “I do remember, but he’s also my friend. He was not in the best place and that doesn’t justify what he did, but at least let him explain.” He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not my place to talk about this, this is between you and him. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, Jess.” He comes closer and hugs me.

Tears start forming in my eyes and I start crying, I have too many feelings right now to know how to manage them. I just want to go home, get in my bed and curl into a ball.

“Thank you.” I sob.

He separates from me without breaking the hug. “For what?”

“I don’t know, for being here.” I keep silently crying. “This has been too much for me, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

The day of Yuna’s party arrives and we’re all very excited. I’ve been feeling so much better after going to Han’s. We ended up talking about a lot of stuff and spending the rest of the day together, and I felt so much better after getting everything out of my chest. Since then, we have been keeping up with each other more, I’ve been to his house more often and I’ve hung out with the boys. All of them except Minho. The third time I went to their house I started to wonder where he was, because it was weird how every time I was there he mysteriously was missing, I mean, is still his house and I thought I would come across him there.

Since that day I’ve been thinking about what Han told me about Minho, not believing him that much. Not wanting to. But the thought that he might actually have changed never left my mind. What if Han was right? What if the boy I felt for was really there? I think subconsciously I didn’t want my feelings hurt again and that’s the reason why I didn’t want to believe Han. But deep deep inside I wanted to.

The party was going to take place at Yuna’s place, so we get there two hours before to get everything ready. Lia and I start placing all the decorations while Yeji and Ryunjin take care of the food and drinks. Chae makes sure to take Yuna out of the house to buy a nice birthday dress and get her hair done. Yuna wants to be the prettiest girl at the party, she wants to impress Jeongin even more. Since the last party they’ve been hanging out together more than usual, and we tease Yuna so much about it. Just like the boys tease Jeongin.

After the place is all decorated and everything is ready for the party to start, Chae and Yuna arrive there. We then start getting ready just like we used to do when going to parties, blasting our favorite songs, and having a fun time together. At nine o’clock people start arriving to the party, Jeongin, Seungmin and Felix being the first ones to arrive. As time goes by more and more people start coming and we start drinking.

“Hey!” I turn around just to see Han and Changbin coming to the kitchen, where I was alone, refilling my cup. “Jess!” Changbin hugs me. He smells like alcohol and cologne. Han goes straight where the drinks are and starts refilling his drink and Changbin’s.

“Don’t you think he’s had enough?” I ask Han, pointing my head to Changbin. Han shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He gives me a side hug after Changbin releases me.

I nod while sipping my drink. “I’m doing amazing. I’m having fun with my friends.” I sip my drink again. Well, maybe I’m also a bit tipsy.

Changbin goes back to the living room, Han and I stay in the kitchen for a bit longer, talking and laughing. I don’t really know what joke that I’m laughing about, or if I even understood it. But I’m having so much fun with him.

“I should probably go back with my friends.” I say between laughs. He simply nods and we both go back to the living room.

For the next hour I dance with my friends to every song playing, we take pictures, laugh and in that moment, I feel like I went back to last year when I became friends with them, and we will all go to all the parties that we got invited to. I’ve missed this feeling.

“I’m going to the balcony; I need some air.” I shout to Yeji, and she gives me a thumbs up as a response.

I try to get through the people to get to the balcony and once I get there, I see someone is sitting in one of the chairs there. I don’t pay much attention to who is it and I sit at the other end of the balcony. After a few minutes sitting there, relaxing, I feel the boy that was sitting there come closer to me.

“Hey.” He says in a soft voice, and I immediately recognize him. I slowly turn my head up to look at him just to confirm my thoughts.

“Minho…” I keep looking at him.

“Please before running away, I want to talk to you. You don’t have to answer, you don’t even have to listen. I just need to get it out of my chest.” He looks devastated, and I don’t know if it’s because of what Han told me or if it’s because I’ve been drinking all night and I’m letting my guards down. But I decided to give him an opportunity to talk. He sits next to me.

“Go ahead.” I turn my head back front and keep looking at the view. I don’t want to look him in the eyes while he talks.

“Uh… I… I just want to start saying I’m sorry.” He stops for a few seconds; I look at him for a brief moment and he’s also looking forward. “I’m sorry for what I said that night, I shouldn’t have told you that, it was so mean and I’m really sorry.” I hear him taking a deep breath. “I didn’t even mean those words I said, I wasn’t thinking. And I don’t want to justify myself for what I did, I just think you deserve an explanation.” I turn to look at him, my heart wanting to give him an opportunity, wanting to believe he had actually changed. But my mind is still resistant to believe it. “I wasn’t in the right place mentally and the alcohol didn’t help. I was being mean to everyone, and I wasn’t realizing it. Not until it was too late, and I hurt you.” I see a tear going down his cheek, my first instinct is to hug him, but I retract myself and I don’t do it. “All the boys talked with me that night and at first, I didn’t want to believe that something was wrong with me and that I was hurting people who loved me. After arguing with everyone, Han was the only one that kept trying to make me come to senses. And after a few weeks I reached out for help and started seeing a therapist. I’m still trying to be better, and that’s why I needed to apologize.”

We stay silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or do. He then looks at me and my heart hurts, I’ve never seen him like that. His eyes are red and swollen and tears are coming down nonstop. I feel bad for him, I don’t know what he has gone through or what got him into the place he was last year, but now I know it must have been hard for him.

“You don’t have to forgive me but thank you for listening to me.” Minho gets up from the chair and starts walking to the door.

 “Wait!” I get up from the chair and try to stop him from going back to the party. “Thank you.” We keep looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds, just before I break eye contact and get into the party again.

I don’t know how to feel, I don’t feel rage anymore, I even feel sorry for him. I’m starting to understand why he acted how he did, that doesn’t mean I forgave him, but at least I feel better after he apologized.

The last few weeks I’ve been meeting up with Minho and talking more with him. I’ve seen him more often at the house when we went there to hang out with the boys, and we’ve been talking about everything. It’s like we went back to the beginning of last year, but better.

Since Minho had started seeing a therapist, and he had progressed, it made things way easier. He would communicate his feelings and if he wasn’t having a good week, he would just say it.

And that led us to going out on a date. It all started because he invited me over to watch Felix, Hyunjin and him filming a dance they had to do for a class project.

“You’re staring.” I snap back and turn my head up to look at who was talking to me. Turns out it was Hyunjin that was taking a water break. “You can’t keep your eyes off him, right?”

I really couldn’t, he looked so good while dancing that I couldn’t stop staring. My brain was going numb watching him dance and I was having many thoughts I’ve never had about him before.

“You like what you see?” Minho smirks. I didn’t hear him coming where we were. He sits next to me and grabs his water bottle. I smack his arm in response.

I see Hyunjin leaving to join Felix at the other end of the room.

“We should go on a date.” What. I turn to look at Minho. I can’t believe he’s asking me on a date.

“Huh?” That’s all I can say.

He looks at me and smiles, “do you want to?”

Well of course I want to! But it caught me by surprise, and I don’t seem to find the words to express it.

“You can say no if you don’t want to.” He smiles. His stupid smile is making me not think straight.

“No! I mean yes! I do want to.” He laughs. “Don’t laugh!” I smack his arm once again.

I lock my phone and start getting ready for the date. I open my closet and stare at it for a good five minutes, not knowing what I should wear. We’re going to go to a restaurant for dinner, it’s not a bougie restaurant but I still want to wear something nice, but I don’t want to be overdressed. I end up choosing a cute but cozy outfit, I’m going to be wearing a nice black pleaded skirt with a white turtleneck. Since it is cold outside I’m wearing a pair of warm thighs and a pair of white leg warmers covering the black boots I decided on wearing.

I finish the final touches of my hair and makeup, grab my purse and go down the stairs of my building, since Minho has just texted me, he’s waiting for me outside.

As I’m going down the stairs, I start to feel nervous. It hasn’t hit me until now, seconds away from meeting him, that we’re actually going on a date. I check myself once more in the mirror that’s on the hall of the building, before going out.

What should I do? Do I hug him? God, I feel so nervous. “Hi!” He turns to look at me and immediately hugs me. He smells super nice.

“Hi. You look amazing Jess.” He separates himself from me. He looks so handsome. “Let’s go?” I can feel he’s also a little bit nervous and weirdly that calms me down a little.

The walk to the restaurant feels a bit awkward since none of us is saying anything. Once we arrive at the restaurant, we go to the table they’ve assigned. It’s a really nice restaurant, it looks fancy. We order our food and when the waitress leaves our table, make eye contact, without saying a word.

“Hey.” I chuckle. “Are you good? Is everything okay?” He nods.

“I feel like if I talk this moment will vanish.” He says softly and I blush at his words.

“I won’t go anyway.” I giggle and look down.

Why i’m i feeling so shy? I’ve gone on dates before and I liked other people but no one has made me feel like he’s making me feel right now, and he doesn’t even know it.

After that the date goes smoothly, jumping from topic to topic, laughing and enjoying our meal. As the time passed we started to feel more relaxed and more comfortable with each other.

I can’t keep my eyes off him, he looks so handsome, all I want to do is run my hands through his silky hair and hug him tightly. When he smiles he’s the cutest, he looks like a bunny and I can’t help but to smile back when I see him smiling.

We finish having dinner and after arguing on who’s going to pay he ends up winning. “I asked you on a date so it’s only fair that I pay.” He says while putting on his coat and I pout. We walk out of the restaurant.

“Can we go on a walk before going home? Please?” I ask, I don’t want this night to end, I want to be with him for a bit more. He agrees on that and we start to walk in no specific direction, wavering around the dimly lit streets, enjoying each other’s company without pronouncing a word.

His hand brushes against mine twice before I decide to take the lead and hold his hand. His thumb starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand. I start to feel my heart going faster at his actions. We keep walking for a bit, still in silence, until we both stop. At the same time. Like the universe deciding we need to take a step further. I look at him, having to look a bit up since he’s a little bit taller than me, and I find him already looking at me.

“Jess…” That’s all he says right before I stand on my tip toes and kiss him, just a little kiss on the lips. I couldn’t not do it, his look was saying many things.

Then he holds me by my waist and pulls me closer, my hands go to rest behind his neck, having to stand on my tip toes once again. I can only hear my heart aggressively pounding. I close my eyes as he makes me come closer to him, and our lips collide. I bury my hands on his soft hair. Finally. He licks my bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I pull his hair a little, earning a whimper. We separate after a while, when we feel like we need to breathe.

I look at him and I feel happy, like no one has ever made me feel before.

[roselevesque]

In a kinder world, the students go to class normally and Present Mic decides it'd be a great idea to give the class a song writting assignment.

It isn't necessary for the songs to masterpieces, but they must be original - musically and lyrically - as well as in English. The students can team up in small groups too of course.

Present Mic gives them a deadline to submit their drafts, so that he can check their originality before they hand in the final version. In this scenario, Izuku's misfortune shines through. A secret, personal song he never wished to see the light of day ends up being accidentally given as his draft. How? By a hurried Ochako, who grabbed the first sheet she found on the desk in his room, Izuku having asked her take his assignment with her since he didn't have time to return to his room before class after a sparring session with Katsuki.

Safe to say, on the day they must present the songs, Izuku is dying on the inside, singing "Datte Attashi No Hero" ( an English Cover ) and blatantly avoiding eye contact with a suspicious and flustered Katsuki

[dynyamight]

meet cute number 47 is interesting!

send me a writting ask

47. Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation.

“You got all that, right?” Shinsou asks, readjusting his stance, so others can leave their classroom door easily.

Midoriya hums absentmindedly. He’s still quickly jotting down the last few digits onto his planner. “And, you said tomorrow morning, around 7? At the library?”

“Yeah,” Shinsou shrugs, “Or anytime really. The deadline isn’t until next month, you know.”

“I kinda just want to get it done, as soon as possible.”

Shinsou breathes out a snort. “Figured you’d say that much. Just make sure you got my number. Repeat it, if you need to.”

“No time.” Midoriya drops his bag to the side, shoving his now closed notebook inside. “Thank you! I’ll text you later tonight!” He offers hurriedly, before taking off down the campus halls.

Shinsou’s warning falls deaf to his rushed mind.

He has to run the entire way, in order to graciously catch the last bus for the hour. Sweaty and flushed, Midoriya slumps into his seat in relief. Fortunately, he was able to cop a seat for himself, settling by the window and his backpack right next to him.

Staring out, Midoriya tries to remind himself of the rest of his priorities he needed to do.

He still needed to start on Doctor Chiyo’s online Physiology exam, and gather his notes for the open book portion. It was a bit bothersome to handle tests online, but if the rest of class prefers it, there’s nothing Midoriya can do about it.

Speaking of which, Ochako had requested for copies of those exact same notes, since apparently she barely writes anything during lectures. He wants to suggest to her to just simply take better notes, but alas, he will gladly help her out.

And, finally, Midoriya has to collect reliable, approved research articles for his and Shinsou’s debate, in their argumentative project in Communications. Being assigned “PRO SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE”, while being the most uninvolved people on the internet, Midoriya and Shinsou had a lot of work to do.

Not to mention it was already 18:00 by the time he reached the school’s dormitories. And yet, he needed to shower, make dinner, water his plants, and watch the newest episode of his favorite drama, airing tonight.

University was eating him alive.

Thankfully, he’s able to complete half of his list.

He finishes the exam with a 98%, and quickly snaps the pages of his notes over to Ochako and Iida, making sure to highlight the main topics questioned in the exam. Ochako sends a ‘thank you’ gif, and Iida texts a long, yet endearing message of gratitude.

Midoriya doesn’t have time to shower, instead blasting the TV volume loud, as he waters his indoor plants at the same time. He overwaters them a little bit, busy glancing back at the screen for too long. But, at least he’s able to watch the episode. He pouts when it ends on a cliffhanger, almost drowning his bonsai tree in frustration.

He’s only able to warm up a plate of leftovers, and read through only one research article, by the time it’s already blinking 21:30 on his phone. Sighing, Midoriya closes his laptop and grabs his cell phone instead.

An all nighter wasn’t preferable. But, if Shinsou is working overtime at his late night job, Midoriya supposes he can stay up and keep looking through more articles, until he has at least the required ten.

Flipping open his planner, Midoriya inputs Shinsou’s number into his phone. He adds his name, a contact photo of him sleeping, and finally taps a quick message.

(21:38) < You working?

When Shinsou doesn’t respond right away, Midoriya simply sets aside his phone on his desk. Stretching his arms, he sighs in defeat, now expecting Shinsou to be stuck at work.

He’s never worked at a restaurant, but he bets Friday nights can get pretty busy. And, Shinsou always complains that group outings and dates tend to stay over, even after the place is supposed to close. And, Midoriya trusts his word.

So, by the time his phone dings, Midoriya has been clicking through more articles on social media, bookmarking a few to go over later, as he went.

He lifts his phone, and with a bright screen, a message stares back at him.

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > Who’s this

Oh, he did forget to specify. But, Midoriya smiles, having a small prank in mind. There was no harm in teasing his friends, let alone Shinsou, who definitely needed a good laugh, now and then.

(21:58) < It's the cutie from your communications class ;)

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > So, no one

(21:59) < Haha! I guess you’re right about that

(21:59) < Anyways, it’s Izuku! You still working late, Hitoshi?

shinsou hitoshi (21:59) > This ain’t Hitoshi

Midoriya's face drops, blinking. Oh god, did he mistype the number?

(21:38) < Wait, you’re not???

Another text pops up, shortly after.

shinsou hitoshi (22:02) > You got the wrong number

Embarrassment burning his entire face red, Midoriya wishes he could delete himself from the world.

(22:03) < I’m so so so so sorry!

(22:03) < God, I thought I wrote down my friend’s number right

(22:03) < But, I was in this stupid rush to get on the bus that I didn’t make sure

(22:04) < And, listen, if I had missed that bus, I would’ve had to wait

(22:04) < Not like a few minutes wait

(22:04) < Like, a whole two hours wait!

shinsou hitoshi (22:05) > I didn’t ask

Deleting the conversation, Midoriya erases the new contact completely. And instead, he looks back to his planner, and retypes the numbers in his phone onto a new conversation.

Hopefully, he has typed the correct series of digits.

(22:07) < Hey, Hitoshi! It’s Izuku

unknown (22:08) > ...

unknown (22:08) > What the actual fuck

unknown (22:08) > You've still got the wrong number, you goddamn idiot

Slamming his phone onto his desk, Midoriya grabs a pillow off his bed and shoves it in his face. The temptation to scream sounds awfully pleasant, but it’s too late at night to do so. His dorm neighbors would definitely wonder what the hell is wrong with him.

What’s wrong? Oh, he has completely done one of the most dreaded imaginary scenarios in his head; text a complete stranger. Twice.

What was he supposed to do now? Never text back? Delete it? Block it?

How is he supposed to contact Shinsou now?

His phone dings again.

Lifting the pillow off his face slightly, Midoriya eyes his phone warily from his swivel chair.

That definitely wasn’t supposed to happen. Another text from the same stranger sounds a bit unheard of.

After a seconds-long hesitation, Midoriya lifts his phone and opens it once more.

unknown (22:13) > Double check next time

unknown (22:13) > You can fucking wait the two hours, dumbass

Midoriya grows a little irked. He has a bad feeling that his stranger isn’t too friendly, to say that least.

There was literally no reason to text back something so rude.

(22:14) < Well, that wasn’t nice

unknown (22:15) > Wasn’t trying to be

(22:15) < ..Are you always like this?

unknown (22:16) > Pretty much

(22:16) < That’s sad

unknown (22:17) > What’s fucking sad is that I was woken up from my sleep

unknown (22:17) > Because a damn moron didn’t write down the right number

Midoriya winces. He hadn’t even thought about the other person’s predicament, let alone if he had interrupted anything.

(22:20) > I really didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry :(

unknown (22:22) > Yeah whatever

(22:24) > You should try to go back to sleep, then

unknown (22:25) > I was

unknown (22:25) > But the same moron from before keeps texting me

(22:27) > Who?

(22:33) > Oh.

(22:33) > It’s me, huh?

unknown (22:34) > No shit

(22:35) > Right, of course. My bad!

(22:35) > I’m going to just stop now

unknown (22:36) > Thanks

(22:36) > For the umpteenth time, sorry! ><

(22:37) > Okay, Okay! I’m stopping now, for real

Midoriya desperately needs to call it a night.

After going through his nightly routine, he slips under his bedsheets, exhausted. He sets an alarm for 5:00 on his phone, hoping Shinsou will show up at the library, regardless of the missing confirmation text on Midoriya’s end.

He keeps his phone on awhile longer, swiping through his professors’ emails, before a surprising text notification pops in front of him.

unknown (23:01) > FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

(23:02) > …

(23:02) > What was that for??

unknown (23:04) > I CAN’T SLEEP

unknown (23:04) > GOD, I CAN’T GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP

unknown (23:05) > AND IT’S YOUR FAULT

(23:06) > What do you expect me to do????

unknown (23:07) > HAHAHAHA OH DON’T WORRY

unknown (23:07) > IF I CAN’T SLEEP, NEITHER CAN YOU

unknown (23:08) > AND IF YOU TURN YOUR PHONE OFF I WILL SEND HELLFIRE

(23:09) > Wait

(23:09) > No, please

(23:09) > My alarm is on my phone, I need it on

(23:10) > I need to go to an important meeting for a group project at 7:00!

unknown (23:10) > Aw, really? :0?!

(23:11) > Yeah! I really do!

unknown (23:11) > Sike. I don’t fucking care

unknown (23:12) > Hope you eat shit tomorrow

(23:13) > ..Why are you like this?

(23:13) > I could literally be a twelve year old, for all you know

unknown (23:14) > I doubt fucking twelve years do group projects

unknown (23:15) > But whether you’re a damn infant, or grown adult, I hate you

(23:16) > I wouldn’t say I hate you. That’s too harsh

(23:16) > But, wow, you are very unlikable :/

unknown (23:17) > That’s the fucking nicest thing anyone has said about me

(23:18) > It wasn’t supposed

(23:19) > Nevermind.

(23:19) > Do you have any friends? Just might as well ask

unknown (23:21) > Surprisingly yeah

(23:22) > Oh, so you also agree. That it’s a surprise

(23:22) > At least you’re self aware :0

unknown (23:23) > Yeah, they are annoying as hell

unknown (23:24) > But, also pretty good people, I guess

(23:25) > Pretty good or pretty dumb?

unknown (23:26) > SHUT IT

unknown (23:27) > Only I can make fun of them

unknown (23:27) > You. Don’t.

(23:28) > You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that

(23:29) > I’m sorry :(

unknown (23:30) > You like apologizing, huh

(23:29) > There’s a lot to apologize for tonight

unknown (23:30) > Still, you don’t have to say it every damn minute

(23:32) > You probably don’t ever apologize

unknown (23:33) > Fuck no

(23:35) > Right, of course

(23:36) > Well, you know what I need to do tomorrow

unknown (23:37) > Unfortunately

(23:38) > What about you?

unknown (23:39) > I’m covering a shift at my shit job at the ass crack of dawn

(23:40) > Unnecessary visual, but I digress

(23:40) > Uh, where do you work?

unknown (23:42) > No. I don’t even know your damn name

(23:43) > I told you?? It was in my first text

unknown (23:44) > Yeah, I ain’t scrolling

(23:48) > Well, it’s Izuku. Midoriya Izuku :)

unknown (23:49) > Great. I still ain’t giving you mine

(23:50) > ?? Is there anything I can know about you??

(23:50) > You know more about me, than I do about you

unknown (23:51) > You know I hate you

unknown (23:51) > That’s plenty

(23:52) > But, I have been staying up for you :(

unknown (23:53) > Because it’s your fault I can’t sleep

(23:54) > You aren’t feeling sleepy yet?

unknown (23:56) > ..Are you

(23:57) > I asked you first

unknown (23:58) > I asked you second

(23:59) > That

(23:59) > Look, it’s almost midnight

(24:00) > Oh, now, it’s actually midnight

unknown (00:01) > I have fucking eyes. I can see the time

(00:02) > And we BOTH have places to be tomorrow

(00:02) > So, let’s just sleep. Call a truce, please

unknown (00:03) > What about my petty retribution

(00:04) > PLEASE LET ME SLEEP

unknown (00:10) > FUCK

unknown (00:10) > FINE

unknown (00:11) > I STILL CAN’T SLEEP BUT WHATEVER

unknown (00:12) > HOPE YOU FUCKING OVERSLEEP TOMORROW

The rest of the night, Midoriya hears his phone go off, but he doesn’t bother to open the messages. Fortunately for him, the time staying awake quickly catches up to his body, the moment he shuts his eyes. And, in an instant, he falls asleep, heavy.

However, he’s jolted awake by the ringing of his phone, the tone alerting him of an incoming phone call. Banging his head on the headboard, Midoriya blindly grabs and answers his phone. “Uh, H-Hello?” He blurts quickly.

“Tch.” A low voice emits, “You owe me, Deku.”

Click. The phone call ends.

Confused, Midoriya hurriedly rubs his eyes open. Running his messy curls through his fingers, he lifts his bangs up, in order to correctly look at the time.

The time was 5:10. And, his 5:00 alarm had been off the entire time.

And, instead, that same unknown number from last night was his saving grace.

[southshorelore]

Ice Flight Exalted Guard Uniforms and Rankings

The previous iteration of these was getting rather old, so here’s a revamped overview of the structure of the IEG. 

Big Lore / Worldbuilding Dump Under the Cut: 

IEG RANKS AND DUTIES

The Exalted Guard divides its personnel into four divisions. Upon entering the guard, new exalts are given the choice between joining the Guardsmen, the Seekers, or the Recordants (though they may be lightly pressured depending on where there is need)

The Guardsmen are the most well known division within the icefields. As a whole, their duty is to keep the peace and ensure the safety and stability of the populace. Guards act as foot soldiers most of the time. They are also IEG’s interface with the public and accept tips, complaints, and reports from them, Each group of guards answers to a Captain, who commands one hall of a facility, neighborhood of a city, or stretch of wilderness. Line Guards and Line Captains fill the gaps, moving between the stations of their fellows to catch the areas in between.  Keepers are charged with controlling entrance and exit, and are stationed at gateways and choke points. In the fortress, Keepers are charged with guarding the keys to locked areas. Sentinels command both Captains and Keepers, and answer directly to the Tower Staff.

The Seekers are the most well known to outsiders, as the flight’s main interface with the rest of the world. Seekers handle the investigation of incidents, gathering of evidence or witnesses, and the movement of goods and messages. They operate in large teams of Runners who answer to a smaller group of Seekers all assigned a single task, which can be the handling of an incident, a research mission, or simple courier duty.  Trackers are responsible for assigning new tasks to Seeker teams and stepping in to assist if and when needed.  Force Runners and Investigators (Force Seekers) are those able to break away from their teams in order to pursue leads which are relevant to the guard’s interests but may not be relevant to their assigned case. 

The Recordants cover internal matters and are often seen as the less intense (and sometimes lesser) division. Their jobs are often related to upkeep.  Cell Writ is one of the least enviable duties in the guard, named for the often grueling task of walking the line and accounting anomalies. Cell writs document the day to day changes for the rest of the guard including counting absences and sick days, ensuring each item and person is where the records say they should be, reporting when the granaries are low and other less than glamourous things.  This information is given to the Recordants who compile it into the Recordants’ Report which goes to the Tower Staff. The Clerics make edits to the official records as necessary while the Recordants make or prepare changes (order supplies, request permanent transfers, etc.) The duty of Force Recordants is to intervene in violations of policy or order. They oversee the other two divisions and follow behind them to ensure they work properly.

Lastly The Tower Staff oversee the other three. One becomes part of the Staff by becoming a Watchman. This position familiarizes members from one division with the duties of the other two by making them act as go betweens. Watchmen can be called upon for almost any duty imaginable and are expected to learn quickly and be adaptable. On top of this, they are in charge of the mail rooms and armories. In each post, one Watchman of each division is promoted to Watch, Signal, or Quarter Master. These three act as the leaders of their entire division in that facility or area and report directly to the Staff Warden. Staff Warden is the leader of the IEG presence in a city, facility, or region. They pass down initiatives to the divisions through the Masters and answer only to the heads of their Ward.  The Fortress of Ends has no Staff Wardens. Instead, the Warden and Tower Captain fill this role. The Warden answers directly to Icewarden and commands the TC and all of the Staff Wardens. Warden is the only hereditary position in the IEG. Usually children of Wardens after their coming of age will be made Staff Wardens as a way to train for their upcoming role. The Tower Captain’s main duty is promotions, demotions, and transfers. The Recordants’ Reports reviewed and compiled by the Staff Wardens, are used to decide where and when to place new recruits, move existing personnel, transfer inmates and artifacts, and allow discharges. TC is appointed by the Warden, but it is traditional for the retiring Captain to select a successor. It can be anyone but is almost always a Watchman or above and often the Quarter Master.

UNIFORM SPECIFICATIONS

Uniforms are designed to be warm. Exalts come from all over the world, and even those born of tropical climates need to be able to stand guard in sub zero temperatures. The Yard Cape is the primary defense against a biting wind as well as the one thing exalts are allowed to customize (within certain bounds). 

Seekers lack much of the insulation the others have since their work often sends them to the mainland and they are constantly in motion besides. Tower Staff capes and Guardsmen capes are functionally identical from behind. From the front, an officer’s blue is hard to miss. 

Ward colors are worn on sashes, bands, ribbons and cops. These can be worn on either side. Many prefer to wear ribbons opposite their dominant hand. 

[dwellordream]

“As Henry II’s queen, Eleanor had a large staff of servants responsible for her needs who formed her own separate household within the larger royal household. Her own household imitated the larger royal one with officials bearing identical titles, her own chancellor, and numerous clerks as well as a steward, butler, and chamberlain. Because of her husband’s numerous lengthy absences from the kingdom, her entourage expanded during those periods to include numbers of the king’s men. Eleanor’s personal household did not number as many as the hundred or more persons in the service of Henry III’s queen in the mid-thirteenth century, but she probably had forty or more persons of varying ranks serving her, equivalent in size to the household of any English earl or major baron.

…At royal courts factionalism sometimes arose as ambitious relatives and courtiers following a foreign princess to her new husband’s court competed with native-born courtiers, who feared the newcomers as “an all-powerful alien faction.” This had been the case at the court of Louis VII, where members of Eleanor’s Poitevin entourage formed a clique that threatened long-standing Capetian courtiers’ influence. There was little possibility of a similar situation at the English royal court, however. When Eleanor left Poitiers with Henry for his duchy of Normandy after Easter 1154, she had left behind most of her household assembled during the two years following her flight to Beaugency to Poitou in 1152. When the couple finally set sail for England at the end of the year, she was not accompanied by the large retinue of Poitevins that had followed her to Paris as a young bride, and few Poitevins ever followed her northward to the English court in search of patronage. 

As a result, the likelihood of her creating a powerful Poitevin faction in England was slim, and her countrymen were not a factor in rivalry for royal patronage. She would be spared the hostility that Henry III’s queen, Eleanor of Provence, would arouse in the mid-thirteenth century by attracting hordes of fortune seeking Provençal and Savoyard relatives to the English court. Apart from general suspicion of the southern French for their frivolity and profligacy, no evidence survives of anti-Poitevin sentiments among native-born courtiers such as that prevalent later in the reigns of King John and Henry III, when the word “Poitevin” became a term of opprobrium. 

Despite the paucity of Poitevins in Eleanor’s entourage, she could not escape involvement in the scramble for patronage prevalent at royal courts. With an entourage equivalent to a major baronial household in size, the queen had considerable patronage to dispense, and ambitious men in pursuit of patronage from her husband would have sought her to intercede on their behalf. A lucrative queenly perquisite pursued by Eleanor’s saintly predecessor, Edith-Matilda, wife of Henry I, was the sale of influence. Petitioners seeking favors from the king or influence at court would not have hesitated to give gifts to the queen, hoping for her intercession with her husband on their behalf. 

…The only Poitevin noble known to have received a land grant in England was Eleanor’s uncle Ralph de Faye, although it is uncertain whether he ever visited there. A younger son of the queen’s maternal grandfather, the viscount of Châtellerault, Ralph styled himself “de Faye” after his wife’s ancestral lordship on the Poitevin–Angevin frontier. Holding posts in Poitou, he was more valuable to Eleanor looking out for her interests in her native county. Eleanor managed to secure for her uncle estates at Bramley, Surrey, in her first year as queen, and his lands enjoyed favors such as pardons from taxes and freedom from visitations of royal justices and foresters. 

Ralph de Faye succeeded in ingratiating himself with Henry, and he often joined the king’s entourage in France until his fall from royal favor in 1173. Eleanor took advantage of her new position to show generosity to other kinsmen belonging to the Châtellerault lineage. For Barthélemy de Vendôme, apparently related to her through Ralph’s family, Eleanor found an ecclesiastical living in England. Some time before 1173, she persuaded the abbot of Westminster Abbey to appoint him as priest of one of the abbey’s churches in Essex. Barthélemy, dean of Angers Cathedral at the time and elected archbishop of Tours in 1174, would have held the church as an absentee, finding a needy English cleric to carry out his priestly duties.

No doubt others accompanied Eleanor from Aquitaine to England, their names now lost, not important enough to be recorded in documents. She would have brought with her lesser-ranking retainers, such as maidservants, and higher-ranking Poitevins in her household would have brought along their own servants. Other elements of Eleanor’s household in England remain largely hidden, although hints survive from accounts of later English queens’ households. It was customary for later medieval queens to recruit groups of noblewomen or girls to serve in their households, forerunners of the later “ladies of the bedchamber” or “ladies of honor” of modern queens. No doubt, such aristocratic ladies could be found in Eleanor’s household. 

…One member of Eleanor’s household who seems to have played a military role is “a rather enigmatic personage” known as Saldebreuil. Possibly lord of Sanxay, an estate near Saint-Maixent not far from Poitiers, he had belonged to Eleanor’s household in Poitou since shortly before her divorce from Louis VII and was steward of her household at the time of her marriage to Henry. Suggesting that Saldebreuil joined Eleanor’s household in England for a time beginning in 1163 and continuing through 1167 are yearly payments to him of sixty shillings and ten pence from the exchequer. 

The name Saldebreuil became attached to a knightly admirer who won Eleanor’s favor with a daring deed in one of the romantic legends that arose centuries after her death. The tale seems to stress her sensuality, centering on the knight’s engaging in combat while wearing an intimate article of her clothing. According to the story, Eleanor in jest asked which of her household knights would do battle against a fully armored adversary while clad only in one of the queen’s chemises. Saldebreuil volunteered at once, and suffering a wound in the combat, was treated tenderly by Eleanor. That evening, the queen appeared at a banquet wearing the blood-stained chemise, greatly disturbing her husband, the king.

…For Henry II, having his queen live in great state with a large household of her own was part of his program of impressing his new English subjects with his wealth and power. With Eleanor’s landed income supplemented by payments from the exchequer, she could maintain a standard of living equal to that of the greatest English barons. Records of royal spending are far from complete, for much money paid in and spent by the king’s chamber, his household financial office, never passed through the exchequer and therefore left no trace on the pipe rolls. 

Yet Eleanor’s known English income, without counting other revenues left unrecorded or her receipts as duchess of Aquitaine, would have made her a personage of financial importance in the kingdom. She had sufficient funds to be a powerful source of patronage, able to purchase the loyalty of grateful courtiers, the prayers of monastic institutions, and the praise of writers. Firstly, some revenues came to the queen from her own duchy of Aquitaine, although no record of transfers of funds to England survives; and her husband controlled her ducal resources to a large extent. 

Secondly, Eleanor had dowerlands presented to her by Henry, a landed endowment presented by a noble husband to his bride on their wedding day. Once Henry won the English Crown, he bestowed on his queen some—though not all—of the traditional dowerlands of the Anglo-Norman queens, estates given by his grandfather Henry I to his two wives, Edith-Matilda and Adeliza. Eleanor’s dower included some twenty-six properties scattered over thirteen English shires, ranging from single manors to income from prosperous towns, as well as some lands in France. 

…Although it is clear that Eleanor was assigned considerable lands as dower, the degree of her control over them is not certain. Many royal estates had passed out of the king’s hands during the confusion of Stephen’s reign, and it would take time for Henry to restore his domains to their pre-civil war extent. Also a goodly portion of Eleanor’s English estates were in the hands of noble tenants who were great lords themselves, producing only intermittent, though occasionally large “feudal” payments. Supplementing funds coming to the queen from her dowerlands was additional income paid as cash from the exchequer for her living expenses, a pension or “corrody” averaging about £115 annually. In Eleanor’s early years as English queen, she issued her own writs authorizing expenditures for her household needs. 

From time to time she also received cash payments by the king’s writ for individual items, sometimes lumped together on the pipe rolls, but often specified. Still another source of income for Eleanor was queen’s gold; for every hundred silver marks paid to Henry II by noble heirs when they inherited their lands or as offerings for favors, Eleanor as his consort was entitled to one gold mark; considerably more valuable than the silver mark, equivalent to six pounds of silver. This income was important enough for the queen to have her own clerk at exchequer sessions to see to the collection of her gold. Eleanor’s total revenues amounted to a sum equaling that of the kingdom’s richest earls or barons. 

…No doubt she was equally generous with her retainers in England, both clerical and knightly. Yet nothing shows her spending in order to enlist a party or faction among the English nobility to further her interests. No doubt Eleanor did play an active part in court politics, although the evidence does not survive. She would have done well to have cultivated friendships with prominent courtiers and powerful royal administrators, but possibly she was more preoccupied with using her resources as duchess of Aquitaine to purchase a loyal band of men among her Poitevin nobility than with spending her English revenues on recruiting a queen’s party at court. Nor is there evidence to suggest that Eleanor of Aquitaine was particularly generous in making gifts to English monastic foundations, although traditionally, English queens had spent large sums founding new religious houses and adding to established foundations’ endowments.”

- Ralph V. Turner, “A Queen’s Work: Regent for an Absentee King, 1155–1168.” in Eleanor of Aquitaine: Queen of France, Queen of England

[kamabukokompachiro]

Dirty Thoughts:

Bakugo x Reader ( Gender Neutral)

1412 Words

Author words : It’s my first time writting and English is not my mother tongue so please be indulgent with me ! If you have any suggestions on how I could do a better work I’ll gladly take them ! Ho another thing "🍑" is us the reader with no specific gender and I think that’s all, enjoy bye bye !

He really thought he was discrete about it. Checking you out while you were talking with your friend group.

Starting with your legs, your thighs then he would say it but your ass too,

Never initiating eye contact with you he would advert his eyes every time you start to talk to him, only glaring at you when you tried to make jokes. He likes you heck he does but being the Katsuki we know him to be hell never tell anyone about that, not wanting to be considered a simp or anything stupid like that.

As usual while begging with the Bakusquad his eyes would advert to you and once again started checking you out without your knowledge of course but hey careful he is watching ? But respectfully of course, he is kinda a gentleman after all. Mama didn’t raise a bad boy.

🛑: “And then i- bakubro you are staring ” Kirishima started

⚡️: “Like always~ ” it was Denki turn

💥: “ The fuck I’m not ! Why would I ? ”

👽:”You kinda are, you know Bakugo if you find them that attractive why won’t you tell them? Do you want me to do it ? “ Now it was Mina who playfully asked knowing perfectly what the angry blond réponse would be.

💥: “I told you I fucking don’t check them out! Why would I go and talk with them? Fucking extra….”

📦: “Yeah….if you continue like that they would probably think you hate them or something.”

👽: “They actually does, we kinda are friends and they told me about how this mister over there was hating them.”

💥: “I’m not! ! “ Bakugo shouted a little bit louder that he ented, gaining the scared looks of his classmate, your being one of them.

🛑: “Chill bro ! That’s what it looks like ! You know they’ll never love you that way right? Be careful, they are pretty popular, I heard this Shinsou in 1B came often to talk to them, I think he will ask them out soon…”

💥: “What? That Shinsou kid? Who’s not even in 1A? Why the fuck would they go out with him? Having low standar like that tch”

⚡️: “I think he is pretty cool!”

👽: “And cute!”

💥: “If you don’t shut up right now I’ll blow your asses up !”

⚡️: “Oops looks like Aizawa sense I just came, time for torture to start, try to stay concentrated baku~ku~gooooo”

💥: “The fuck do you mean?”

🛑👽⚡️📦: “Haha”

😪: For this assignment you’ll be working by pairs. I already made the groups you can’t change, the project is due in one week until then you will not have any other homework so put your all into it, you and your partner will practically live together from now on on for a week, that’s all class dismiss

Of course the pairs were wrote on the board and of course who do you think bakugo had been paired with ?

Mhh...hey..bakugo..San…

Why the fuck are you talking to me like I’m some fucking old man? Two bad words in the same sentence?

Classy bakugo classy

I’m sorry I ...u…

wait are you stuttering ? Okay he wouldn’t admit it but that? That is so freaking cute.

He could die right on the spot, why do you look like that? All uhhg he couldn’t quite point it but that is something that made him stares at with longer than he intended.

🍑: “Bakugo go San...bakugo San?”

💥: “What”

🍑: “You are..staring…”

💥: “I’m not ! And stop calling me that !”

🍑: “Yessir !”

💥: “Hun?”

🍑: “Sorry that was a joke… so hull for the project it’s friday today so the dorms are closed I would like to go in my house but my parents are inviting a lot a family this weekend so we pourrait pas concentrate sorry BUT we can go to the library if you want maybe ?”

💥: “No.”

🍑: “Hun? Why not ?”

💥: “To much people, all the extras are gonna be there, give me your phone

S-sure!

Here, I texted you my address, tomorrow ten don’t be late !”

🍑: “Yes! See you tomorrow… and he is gone … well ! At least he didn’t kill me”.

This night let’s say that Bakugo didn’t really sleep, try to understand him please, a young boy in this age and shape ? You? How crush was coming tomorrow and you’ll be staying in is house, in his room where his bed was? He watched enough adult movies to know what could happen and let’s say that the thought of you wearing only…well nothing was enough for him to lose all track of sleep.

While our angry boy was fighting his dirty thought you too couldn’t sleep but not for the same reasons. While he was excited you were scared I mean he didn’t like you right? He could scream at you, worst even, could he punch you?? You really hope not. And that’s how you two spent your first weekend Night, basically thinking about each other.

10.00 that’s exactly the hour you rang at Katsuki houses door.

🍑: “Hello Madame Bakugo I’m listener nice to meet you !”

👩‍🦳💥: “How you must be Katsuki’s classmate enter please ! Waaa you really are cute aren’t you ?”

🍑: “N-no I’m really not but thanks you, you too are really pretty mam!”

💥: “Oi! At least you are not late, come here let’s get to my room.”

🍑: “Sure! See you mam!”

👩‍🦳💥: “I’ll go get you some snacks !”

🍑: “Thank you very much !”

You two walked together to his room, installed yourselves and started to work.

After a few hours of hard work :

🍑” Bakugo… Bakugo…….BAKUGO!”

💥:“What??”

🍑: “I finished, and you are staring...again…”

💥: “I already told you I’m not, let me see!”

🍑: “ Soooo, is it good enough ?”

💥: “Not too bad, well that concludes today’s work.”

🍑“Yeah! ... I’m so tired …”

💥: “…. Lay down…”

🍑: “ What did you say? 👁👄👁”

💥: “I said lay down if you want... I’ll get you to the train’s station after.”

🍑: “On the floor??? 👀👀”

💥: “On the bed ! You are stupid aren’t you ??”

🍑: “W-w-w-what ? No I cannot I- ?!”

💥: “I will not touch you WTF! You said you were tired didn’t you??”

🍑: “... I did...ok but...are you going to lay with me…?”

💥: “I’m tired too ! I made almost all the work!”

🍑: “No you didn’t !”

You then proceed to lay on the bed with Katsuki.

Not gonna lie, your heart was kinda racing at the moment, Katsuki’s one probably too, but he wouldn’t ever admit it !

Fuck why are you facing him?? He tough you will look at the wall or somewhere else that way he could have spied on you in all discretion.

🍑: “Bakugo..?”

💥: “Yeah?”

🍑: “Do you hate me?”

💥: “….no.”

🍑: “Then why ...why you look at me like that? Everyday at school you always look at me, even when you think I can’t see you…”

💥: “...I wasn’t really discreet about it hun…”

🍑: “No haha”

💥: “You pretty”

🍑: “What??”

💥: “You heard me now go to sleep!”

🍑: “I cannot,not after that wtf bakugo ??”

💥: “Shhht I’m tired !”

🍑: “But ?”

💥: “Shhht…. Oi..”

🍑: “I thought I should sleep?”

💥: “Fuck it! Can I...touch you ?”

🍑: “Where??”

💥: “Your face…”

🍑: “Weird…”

💥: “Yes or no dumbass?”

🍑: “Haha go for it ! But...be nice please…”

💥: “Yeah...close your eyes.”

You then Proceed to do it slowly, you shut your eyes waiting for anything from bakugo. You feel him shift and then something on your cheek, his hand you suppose. After a little while something softer again were on your lips. He was kiss’ing you and that wasn’t a dream, he really was kissing you holy fuck !

🍑: “Katsuki…”

💥: “Fuck, don’t ever call me Bakugo again go it ?”

🍑: “Yeah…”

💥: “Promised ?”

🍑: “Promise.”

💥: “Good, now let’s get the fuck to sleep!”

🍑: “Haha yeah sure, did you set up the alarm ?”

💥: “Of course! Who you take Me for ?”

That’s weird, today Katsuki was soft, the complet opposition of how he is at school. Maybe he was in a good mood because you worked well today or maybe that was just for you. Anyway Too much question too little answer but all you wanted right now was to stay in his arms and freaking sleep!

If you want the audio version of it here’s the link to my YouTube Chanel for a more immersive experience : Bakugo has dirty thoughts about you | BNHA ASMR| Bakugo x Listener https://youtu.be/h5lu-3bNrks