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dying-suffering-french-stalkers · 3 years

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Finally watching Goodbye Partner! I’m watching the dub, but I have the subs on so I can read the date/location popups and signs, so I’m getting a bit of dialogue comparison. I’ll probably go back and watch a few scenes with the original audio as well (Kiyoshi Kobayashi my beloved).

Here begins the liveblog, but all in one post and under a cut so it’s not as insufferable:

Starting strong with a heist escape sequence as per usual! As far as openings go, it’s hard to go wrong with that.

Oh, hello, literal actual Chopin courtesy of a timeskip/flashback.

What are these RWBY-ass CGI piano hands?? Y’all warned me and you were not kidding. Traditional rotoscoping would never hurt me in this way.

CUSTODY_OF_CHILD.JPG

Lupin playing in those see-through inflatable “hamster” balls skdfjskjdflsl

Intricate Rituals. Jiglup gunplay confirmed

Epcar’s delivery here was so much more aggressive than Kobayashi’s.

“Area 61, Colorado” just say Cheyenne Mountain

EDWARD ZNOWDEN

Fujiko really is terrible with kids

Listen, I love a good Dutch angle, but I’m starting to feel like I should set up a CinemaSins counter at this point. I’m glad to have some shot variety but there are other compositions, you know.

Motorcycle Jigen returns!!

Loving this little Morricone shoutout, which I unfortunately cannot seem to find on YouTube.

[strangled Goemon voice] “MISTAKE.”

God. GOD. Tony Oliver’s delivery in the betrayal scene is so good. Lupin is clearly not buying it at all and is quite willing to play along with whatever the hell this is - until Jigen shoots him right in the heart. That’s going to hurt a lot more than literally when he wakes up, though 1) given that the movie’s barely begun, I’m guessing he’s still not completely buying it (rightfully so) and is gonna look into this and 2) unfortunately this franchise isn’t known for actually digging into all the delicious angst and implications it likes to sling around. Cowards.

Also, I like that Lupin seems to be wearing a navy shirt and pink tie like he had in early Part 2 instead of the blue shirt/yellow tie he has in the other Red Jacket movies. Not sure why that’s what they went with but I’m down.

Okay, I went back and watched the betrayal scene in Japanese and OOF, it hits DIFFERENT to hear Kiyoshi Kobayashi deliver those lines. He’s so utterly casual about it and it’s all the more angsty since he’s, y’know, a million years old, so here his Jigen sounds much more tired/resigned compared to Epcar’s brasher gunman.

The way that the shots focus on not only Jigen, but also Fujiko when the boss asks about the betrayal...nice. Fujiko doesn’t know for sure if Jigen killed Lupin, but I imagine such a possibility would shake her at least a little - not just because she cares for that silly monkey man, but because that partnership has been a surprising constant in her life. If even that could finally crumble, her natural cynicism is about to get a whole lot deeper. Morbidly, she wants to know if Jigen had the balls to do it. It’d be a hell of a lot more kindred spirit between them than she ever expected if so. It’s a shame this plot wasn’t used in a Koike movie; it would’ve been great to see the deliberate parallel/foil from TWCFM continue.

“Why don’t we talk about your future?” the boss says as Jigen’s whole demeanor screams What future? Even though Lupin isn’t dead and Jigen has his reasons for why he did this, Jigen hardly expects forgiveness after all this. Lupin may be alive but Jigen has just killed the best thing he ever had and he can never get that back (except he can, because movie and long-running franchise, but y’know, Watsonian vs. Doylist).

The Dark Crystal (1982)

HATSUNE MIKU??? ACTUAL HATSUNE MIKU????? (just her voice but aksdjfkajsdkfjaklsjdfljasjdflajsdf)

Ohhhh, the Lupin & Clarisse / Jigen & the kid’s mom (still haven’t heard her name lmao) parallel was just uncalled for, my heart

Let Jigen wear burgundy more often

...Mr. Epcar, I love and respect you, but is it too much to ask that you vary your inflection a little more? Where’s the PATHOS?

Slightly cried instantly, “The Wendy lady lives.” Then Peter knelt beside her and found his button. You remember she had put it on a chain that she wore round her neck. “See,” he said, “the arrow struck against this. It is the kiss I gave her. It has saved her life.”

BLACK JACKET

Burgundy suit + round glasses Goemon!!!

There’s no way Pops is getting his job back after this one

Goemon: [turns his usual hot girl swordsmanship up to 11]

Lupin: Well mark me down as scared AND horny! dot jpeg

Again with the CGI hand crimes.

Wow he straight-up said Jigen was cheating on him

Ah, see, that “waste of oxygen”/“huge mistake” bit of dialogue is the kind of inflection I like to hear.

WarGames (1983)

It took me entirely too long to realize the president was supposed to look like H.illary.

Goemon: [slices open a door for Fujiko]

Fujiko: “Oh, you.” <3

This is all very action-heavy and surprisingly decent for a Lupin film so far, but uh. why is Jigen once again a side character in his own movie?

Ayyyy, nice reference to Zantetsuken’s composition from Part 1. Still insane that they melted down three awesome swords to make a different sword though.

Goemon snarks back to robots confirmed. Not that Lupin would ever be stupid enough to buy an Al3xa/etc. but can you IMAGINE

JAZZ PIANIST FUJIKO! Fujiko having actual interests and hobbies!!!

Comrade Emilka

TRIPLE PARALLEL WITH JIGEN & ALISA NOW

They just?? left Jigen in the middle of the desert after the absolute minimum discussion of All That???? That’s...on-brand actually but give me the angst this plot device deserved >:(

Michelle Ruff I would die for you

This variation on the main theme is my favorite. I’ve probably listened to it about a thousand times at this point but I finally got to hear it in context.

Welp, that was one of the better Lupin movies I’ve seen, but I do wish they’d done more with the whole Jigen betrayal thing that ended up being more of a subplot. Thank goodness for fics that do the work.

Edit: “There are about four different plots going on at once in this movie, and they forgot to focus on the one that’s in the actual title.” - @theimpossiblescheme

#lupin iii #goodbye partner #jigen #long post

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sucuretcannelle · 3 years

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I will pay the person who goes through the dub, finds quotes and matches them with the anon it fits best... I'll pay you $150

I'm too lazy so I mostly did eggman

----

Prompt:

"Tails, listen to me. I know who your mother is and— *dies*"

"Martha, what have you been tweeting about...WHAT THE FUCK, IS THAT SHADOWS DICK?"

"Why is my body doing this thing? I'm like a puppet on a string bririrbbriri you see that? Look at that!"

Noodles:

"Shoot me, you fucking coward. Do it! You won't! I have no reason to live anymore."

"I am going to kill you..........and then kill you again."

Al:

"You have 13 seconds till the island fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch. You have done nothing but destroy my life and I hope you both die."

"If you say please stop one more time, I'm going to piss my own ass."

"I peed on your wife robotnik, she's mine now."

Gabe:

"I gotta get on that plaAaNe 🏃‍♂️"

"Who is this red stripe mohawk—why you got hot sauce on your hair cuz, what's wrong?"

Writer:

"Get the fuck out or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fuckin face, I swear to gosh I'll do it you bitch, get out!"

"What the fuck— why does tails have the fucking weed?"

Citypop:

"I miss my wife, tails. I miss her a lot. I'll be back."

"Let me check her Twitter page on my holographics"

"Go ahead, I have 50 alternate accounts."

Watermelon:

"I put hot sauce on everything. From Twinkies to milk. It's what I do!"

Bella:

"I'm taking over Victoria's secret, I'm taking over best buy, the news is mine, and everyone else can leave. You see that planet? IM TAKING IT TOO! It looks like a fucking walnut— BOOM AND IT BUSTED A NUT THEN AND THERE"

"Hey bitchessss, didn't expect to see me?"

"YOU FOOL I HAVE 70 ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN!"

Cup:

"That's right little girl, I hate you and your stupid nose. I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone."

"I'm taking over your worlds, I'm taking your tv, I'm glitchin it! They call me the glitch, do you know why they call me the mother fuckin glitch? Cuz I glitch the tvs out."

"Get out of here you thotass bitch you still owe me $100 anyway, we need to go."

"I've come to make an announcement, shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife And he said his dick was 't h i s b i g' and i said 'thats disgusting' so I'm making a call out post on my Twitter.com, 'shadow the hedgehog you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like— that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like 2 balls and a bong..."

"—I'm gonna fuck the earth, this is what you geT MY SUPER LASER PISS. EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH, IM GONNA GO HIGHER, IM PISSING ON THE MOOOON"

Eyes:

"*struggling to remember the password to the twitter account*"

"I have no character motive 😔"

"What are you two fucking talking about?"

Cinna:

"aUUGH MY BONES! I know i shoulda— *intense coughing* WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

"AND SHE HAD A DIAMOND IN HER VAGINA?"

Orion:

"I hope you're ready to die it's gonna be like evangelion get the fuck out."

"...I fucked your wife 😐"

Atlas:

"ouch ouch ouch 😐"

"please stop, your mother would be very disappointed"

"as you can see, twitter went through a bunch of updates. This one, is that one that makes me go away from yo bitchass."

Nash:

"FUCK YOU MOON YOU NEVER HAD THE CHEESE I WANTED"

"Did you see that hot jpeg footage that just—"

Universal:

"You thought you were gonna escape and I knew you were gonna fart in here so I had to put up a fuckin seal!"

"Now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too."

Shrimp:

"Shadow! Get back here right now! Shadow! What the fuck?!"

"How do you think I feel about being cocked by a hedgehog!?"

Ikea:

"Don't gamble my life for a piss rock!"

"It's been 17 days, I'm still trying to get out of here"

Mary:

"So if I've had enough you took my wife, you fucked my crops, I'm takin ya life"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK MY WIFE"

That one anon:

"How did you know my middle name 😕"

🕳️:

"I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN! OH MY GOSH IM SO S I C K."

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love-sapphirerose · 4 years

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Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon Episode 23

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/review/yashahime-princess-half-demon/episode-23/.170583

For me, a key part of writing these weekly reviews is breaking down the plot and themes of each episode. Now, I'm trying my best, dear readers, but more so than even the worst of the episodes that preceded it, “The Princesses Strike Back” really does feel like a bunch of random scenes that were haphazardly slapped together with no rhyme or reason to speak of. I'd be lying if I told you that I fully understood what was even going on, by the end of things, but I guess I'll give it a shot?

We open in the present, with Mr. Kirin bumping into Sota and his little family to ominously inquire about Towa's whereabouts. Here is where I will be as fair as I can possibly be and highlight the one moment of the episode I liked, where Sota blames Towa's extended absence on a medley of random illnesses, just like Kagome's folks did back in the day for her. That was a cute callback, and what I wouldn't give for a version of Yashahime where we got more connections to the original series like it. Mr. Kirin also takes a moment to point out the spooky demon comet in the sky to Sota, but Sota can't even see it, so the only reason this scene exists is to establish that Kirinmaru has some kind of cross-temporal connection with his…what? His doppelganger? Descendant? Time clone?

Who cares! The show definitely doesn't, since it immediately transitions to Kirinmaru meeting up with none other than Sesshomaru's Mother, whose name is…”Sesshomaru's Mother”. Very creative. Anyways, here is where Kirinmaru and Sesshomaru engage in some incredibly vague conversation that nearly explains what our villain's motivations are beyond simply murdering SesshMoMaru's grandkids, but nope. That would make too much sense, so the show decides to skip all of that and introduce the Windmill of Time, which as best as I can tell is a completely new thing that is not a holdover from InuYasha, and all of my Googling of “time windmill” only turned up some obscure non-fiction books. What is the Windmill of Time? I don't know! All that Kirinmaru mentions is that Sesshomaru has been seeking something called Akuru's Pinwheel. What is that? I don't know! Later on, we see a kid named Akuru with a pinwheel that Sesshomaru completely ignores so…yeah, no, I've got nothing.

Now, here's where we need to double back a bit; this episode is titled “The Three Princesses Strike Back”, right? What are they striking back against? That one, at least, is simple enough to track: The girls are taking the fight back to Zero, and Setsuna even has the mysterious “Blood Blade” to add to her fighting repertoire. The last fight with Zero was a relative highlight of the series' back half, so at this point I was still wondering if the show could manage the same trick of being sort-of decent twice in a row. It turns out the exact opposite happened, instead; once the girls arrive at the burnt-out ruins of the old Grampyasha manor, the episode takes a full nosedive in quality and basically devolves into utter nonsense.

Here's the shakedown: After a bunch of lame banter between the girls, Zero, and Riku, the pirate boy eventually reveals that, now that Moroha and Setsuna have arrived with their Red and Gold Rainbow Pearls, he's gathered every one of the lost gems to return to Zero. She was apparently unaware that this plot was even in place, and reacts very angrily, though she ends up taking the Rainbow Pearls back anyways. Now, the show has repeatedly claimed that the Pearls are the source of her demon powers, except she's had demon powers this whole time, and when she finally does reunite the collection of off-brand Infinity Stones that Yashahime has been building up for twenty-three weeks now, the grand result is…Setsuna killing her in less than a minute, with a single blow from her Blood Blade.

I'm not kidding. After all of the hullabaloo Yashahime raised over “Rainbow Pearl, this” and “Rainbow Pearl, that”, Zero ends up getting one-shotted by Setsuna and dying in Riku's arms. Does…does Yashahime realize how inconceivably stupid this looks from the audience's perspective? It gets worse, too: When she dies, Zero's spirit is whisked off to the underworld, where she gets into a very long back-and-forth with SessMoMaru about the respective pain they suffered over Grampyasha's stepping around over the years. The conversation doesn't go anywhere at all except for Zero freaking out when SeshMoMaru accuses her of indulging in petty “human” emotions. Oh, I guess there's the teensy detail that we learn of how, when Zero dies, Rin also must die, so Sesshomaru pops in to use the Tenseiga's life-giving powers on Zero's corpse.

In all of this chaos, Rin wakes up with the goofiest look on her face for all of five seconds or so, and then immediately dozes off without a single word when Zero comes back to life. Rin isn't the only victim of the episode's truly terrible artistic gaffes, though; there's one shot of Zero's dead body that literally looks as if someone cropped a JPEG of the character from a different scene into the frame, and then flipped it on its side to make it look dead. It has to be seen to be believed:

Look, I know it's COVID times, and I know that animation is one of the most difficult and underpaid jobs pretty much anywhere, but for real. Yashahime. What the heck are we doing here? And then, when Zero wakes up and angrily demands the Rainbow Pearls from Riku, despite them being just a couple of feet away on the ground, only to have the about-face interrupted by Kirinmaru descending from heaven like some kind of Hot Topic Emo Demon Jesus? I ask again: Just what in the heck are we doing, Yashahime?

The preview for “Sesshomaru's Daughter” has an ominous mood that goes so far as to foreshadow that Setsuna is going to die, and it bills itself as “The final episode”. On the one hand, please God, yes, let this finally be over! On the other hand, there is no universe wherein Yashahime can satisfactorily wrap up its story in a mere 22 minutes. We're one week away from the finale, and I'm not even sure that the story has started, yet. I don't know what I fear more: The possibility that Yashahime might truly attempt to conclude this terrible, terrible story for good in just one week, or the possibility that there might be more weeks, months, or even years of Yashahime yet to come…

Odds and Ends

• I damn near forgot to mention that, when Zero is revived and raging at Sesshomaru, Towa's inner-monologue pops in, and she muses, “Living in the world is hard. If you don't follow the set rules, you're treated as an outcast. I was so tired of it when I was in the other world. What Zero is feeling now is probably like how I felt back then.” This is, generously, one of the most inane and incompetent bits of writing I've seen in, God, I don't know how long. It's even worse than that wretched non-sequitur about Towa being too addicted to her cellphone from Episode 14, and that's really saying something. I'm far more accustomed to Yashahime's flagrant, spiteful disregard for “making sense” and “letting its characters sound like functional human beings”, so I guess it didn't hit me quite as hard.

#anti yashahime #anti hanyo no yashahime #anti sunrise #anti towa

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shanie-the-toyaddict · 3 years

Note

1, 9, 15, 17, 21, 25, 26, 29, 33, 41, 46, 48, 54, 59, 68, 73, 81, 96, 98

😊

Oh my word! That's a lot!

Ok, here goes.

Behind cut for length

1. Name - I prefer Shanie but my parents call me “Mis”. Well, my mom calls me “Mis” my father calls me “Pooch” which I despise. Just stick with Shanie.

9. What did you study - I changed majors midway through college. I started out as an art major focusing on computer animation. That didn’t work out at ALL. Turns out I sucked ass at computer animation. Too much math involved. So I switched to a major in teaching with minors in history and popular culture. Unfortunately I failed at that too and, while I did graduate, it was with a degree in “Planned Program” which is a polite way of saying “General Ed”. I did earn my two minors though, so I guess that’s something!

15. Relationship Status - Single. Very Very Single. I haven’t had a single date in about 10 years. By the looks of it, I’m going to stay single.

17. Do you have a crush - Do celebrities count? If not then no. I don't even know anyone IRL to have crushes on. I legit have nobody in my IRL life outside of my parents and my case manager. Kind of hard to have a crush when you don't have any friends or even acquaintances.

21: How was your day - Well, today I got nothing accomplished. I did have a meeting with my case manager, so that was nice. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and infodump on (which she lets me). Outside of that I woke up, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, had a nap, and went to Dairy Queen for ice cream on the way home. Unfortunately, DQ is on the far side of town and by the time I got home, it was melted. So it went in the fridge to eat later once it refreezes. Outside of that it was a pretty boring day.

25. Your fears - Whoo-ee. Ok. So coming in with the borderline I’d say my biggest fear is abandonment. That just comes with the territory. After that I have a huge fear of storms and waking up in a fire, both brought about by recurring nightmares. I also have a fear of flying (too much Air Crash Investigations) and I hate elevators. I’m not claustrophobic mind you, I just have a fear that they will fall on me. Anything over 3 stories and I’m having an anxiety attack. There are other, lesser fears but those are some of the big ones.

26. Your dreams - Well, in a literal sense, my dreams are wild, crazy adventures that I get most of my fanfics from. From a metaphorical standpoint I really don’t have any. I’ve given up on hoping for anything good in my life. I’m too busy trying to get from day to day to indulge in long term planning. I know it seems terrible, but it’s the truth.

29. Hobbies - Obviously action figures, that much is clear. I collect and customize them to display in my apartment. I also like making digital art (sometimes) and am starting to get into illustrations/artwork. However, I don’t have a tablet/pen for the computer so everything is done with the mouse and GIMP (which makes it difficult). I’m an avid collector of digital media. Some of my big ones are Doctor Who DVDs, Wrestling Entrance Themes, and Official Xena Photos (not the physical ones, jpeg scans). I used to be big into Wizard101 and, while I don’t really play anymore, I still like following the game on YT and on here.

33. Languages you speak – Only English, except it’s a very specific English. I usually speak what’s called the “Yinzer” dialect which is a dialect that is unique to the Pittsburgh region. That’s why you see me use the word “Yinz” a bunch. That’s our word for “You guys” or “Y’all”. However, while most of my speech is Yinzer, I have watched enough British TV in my lifetime to have picked up some Brit speech. It confuses the hell out of people when I use it because you’ll have me say things like “My apartment needs cleaned” and then follow it up thirty seconds later with, “I’m rubbish at cleaning.” My mother has picked up on this and sometimes calls me her “British Daughter” because of it.

41. Your Device Background – My phone’s lock screen is a picture of Shane in his Roman Centurion outfit from the one Royal Rumble photo shoot. My phone background is a checkered wallpaper with “SZ” on it for Sami Zayn. (That one might be getting changed if he stops being Sami.) And my computer background is just a night sky over the mountains. I rarely ever see my computer wallpaper so I don’t mind that it is a generic background.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done – You know how Lucy breathes fire on Xena? I taught myself how to do that. That wasn’t bright to begin with but it was made so much worse that I was underage and couldn’t buy Bacardi and was using lamp oil instead. I was young and dumb.

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life – Funny thing, I’m a sucker for strange foods. There was a list going around that said “How many of these weird foods have you eaten” and I think I had eaten all but six of them and that was only because I didn’t have access to them. I’m proud to say that, since then, I’ve knocked Quail Egg off the list! Turns out the local Japanese restaurant served it. So that knocked it down to five. Still need to get ahold of some gator meat and haggis. I’d love to try Foie Gras but it’s just so damn unethical that I don’t know if I could bring myself to eat it. Pheasant is another one that I’d love to try but I can’t convince my parents to buy me one (and I’m far too poor to afford it myself). But, yeah. I love strange foods. I’ll pretty much try any food once if I know it’s safe to eat.

54. Any tattoos or piercings – Unless you count partially pierced ears then no. And my ears are only partially pierced because after I had them done they got infected so I tried to let them heal shut. They ended up not closing fully and now, if I’m not adverse to a bit of pain, I can still wear earrings occasionally.

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like – Judas is my guilty pleasure song. I know Jericho is a douchebag and I have tried to hate the song but I can’t. I end up singing along every time.

68. Favorite Movie/Series - Hmm... well, my all time favorite movie is definitely “The Towering Inferno”, hands down. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen that. I’m a sucker for disaster movies and, in my opinion, that one is the cream of the crop. I actually like it better than “The Poseidon Adventure” simply because I think the movie is inferior to the book. That said, I’ve also read both of the books that “The Towering Inferno” is based on and I like the combined movie better than them. Favorite series, however, I don’t think I have one definitive favorite series. I’ve had favoriteS like Xena, Buffy, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc, but I’ve never had one all time favorite.

73: Favorite Greek God – Oh geez. Hmmm... You know, I’m going to have to go with Hermes here, primarily because I have this theory that he is the god of the internet. I know there was no internet in ancient Greece but, frankly, Hermes is the god of commerce, communication, travelers, and thieves. While it’s true that Hephaestus is the god of technology and would probably be the god of computers, I fully believe that Hermes would be the patron of the interwebs.

81 Favorite Books – In all honesty, going to college for 8 years burned me out for reading and now I can barely bring myself to read a comic book. For this reason, most of my favorite books come from childhood. My all time favorite book as a kid was “Flight #116 Is Down” by Caroline B Cooney. It was a disaster story about plane crash in a young woman’s back yard. Somehow, everyone didn’t die – a fact which was called out in the final pages when a fireman says that the crash was extremely odd because “usually they’re all dead.” That book might be another reason I’m terrified of flying. Other favorite books of mine was the “Fear Street Saga Trilogy” (Not the Fear Street Series, the trilogy that served as the origin story). I also like the Hitchhikers Guide saga but when I found out that Douglas Adams died before he could finish the saga, I stopped reading after book 4 so that the story had a happy ending. Novelizations in general are a big thing for me too, I’ve read some really good ones over the years and it’s fascinating to see how they differ from the movies they’re based on.

96. Hero or Villain – Well, if my dreams are anything to go by, I’m a villain at heart. I know, weird right? You all think I’m such a nice person but really, I have a huge dark side to me IRL and, if I was in a world where superheroes were real and I had superpowers I would almost certainly use them for evil. Or, at the very least I would use them to force social change ala Dr. Horrible.

98. Shapeshifting or Controlling Time – SHAPESHIFTING! Oh my goodness shapeshifting! I would love that so much! First of all, I wouldn’t be this huge anymore. I could be as heavy or a skinny as I want. Also, I wouldn’t have to worry about looking old or losing my hair! Plus, can you imagine the cosplay potential!? Forget dressing as the 13th Doctor, I AM THE 13th DOCTOR! That would just be the best!

PHEW! That was a lot! Thanks so much for the ask! This was fun. I love ask games.

#ask games

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sephythespooky · 4 years

Text

reader insert: back in black mesa

PART 2

Passport acquired, but what now?

words under cut

“Here,” Tommy gently pressed the document into your hand. “Show this to Benrey. I’ll handle e-everything else.” Seeing how pale your lips were, he frowned, then hugged you tight. “It’ll be o-okay, friend. W-we’re the science team! We can do any-anything!”

Reluctant, you stepped out of the hug when Tommy released you and held out your passport at Benrey, whose bright eyes hadn’t left you since you picked it up. “yo, man....that seriously you? you look, uh....look a bit shit in that photo, not gonna lie.”

You look at the photo and snort. It’s your school photo from years ago, the one you hated most. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Agreement, that was something you knew Benrey didn’t get a lot of from Gordon. But he seemed to like it, grinning with his razors before gently shaking Dr. Coomer out of the repetition of what you now realize was the Wikipedia article for lockers. “old man, like, i get it, but we gotta, uh, gotta do stuff now.”

The white haired scientist shook his head, turning to you and lighting up, “HELLO PLAYER!” He called, then seemed confused. “I should know your name. Why don’t I? Hm...”

Tommy interjected as Benrey began circling you, tilting his helmet this way and that as he analyzed your form, “Dr. Coomer, w-we don’t know them yet. We’re supposed to be waiting for Mr. Freeman!”

“yo, feetman? where’d he go?” Benrey asked, suddenly more interested in what Tommy had to say than in you.

You watched as Dr. Coomer looked between them, then snapped his fingers, “Oh! that’s what I’ve been wanting to say! HELLO GORDON!” He grins, then slumps a bit, “Oh...but he’s not here. I still have to give him his interest playcoins.”

“Dr. Coomer?” you ask softly, almost afraid to speak up, “How did I end up here? Gordon finished the game. You guys should still be with him, but now you’re with me?”

The older gentleman chuckled, “Not to worry, Not-Gordon, we will figure this out. I do love a good puzzle! Let’s get Bubby and have a good ol’ chat about it.”

“least i don’t have to watch you. like i did him. you’ve got your passport,” Benrey still pushes you ahead of him and you squeak, rushing forward to hold onto Tommy’s sleeve.

Tommy moves so you can hold hands, and he swings his arm a bit, sunny smile in place, “We’ll be careful with you, I-I promise! Nobody will be doing any OSHA violations with me on the-the case!”

His presence was comforting, even if you were more than aware of his lack of gun-safety training. But there weren’t guns right now. At least besides the ones you could access.

The closer you get to the test chamber, the more tense you get, so you yelp when Benrey TELEPORTS in front of you and stands in the doorway, “dudes...these are the guys. i told you about them. not thinking about....about anything besides froot loops.”

The basic guards are unaffected, and the door opens behind Benrey with no other fanfare. Dr. Coomer laughs, “Well, I do love sugary cereal with colorful mascots. I prefer Frosted Flakes, though.”

“you would, old, old grampa man.” and then he’s gone, running ahead of you with that cackle that shook a nervous laugh out of you when it used to make you happy.

“Um...would...would petting Sunkist help you? He’s a good boy, and I-I always feel better when I pet him,” Tommy offers and you nod before he can even finish. Sunkist is immortal, and well trained. You’d pet the dang JPEG but you have a feeling things will be different for you in here.

“Okay. I’ll call for him once we find Bubby,” you’re getting close to his room, you think, but being so very near the test chamber is enough to make you jitter.

Your group enters the room with many scientists and you hear Bubby, “GOOD GRIEF! Not only are you late, but you brought an entourage. What kind of bastard are you?”

The yelling makes you flinch, and Dr. Coomer says helpfully as he takes hold of Bubby around the waist, pinning his arms, “Hello! We’re here to fetch you for a confab. We have to figure out how we help our new friend here and then get back to Gordon.”

“Gordon?” Bubby questions, his struggles against Coomer slowing until he’s finally released. “Wait. That’s right! Then why are you wandering around with that fucking idiot Benrey?!”

“bro, not cool.” Benrey hides behind you and blows a raspberry at Bubby. “came here tryin’ to be a great cool and you’re being mean. dr. mean man.”

“I live mean, and you tried to kill me! And everyone else!” Bubby huffs, waving his arms around and fire glinting off the tips of his fingers. “Someone explain this to me!”

Tommy takes a deep breath before he speaks, “Bubby, I know it was scary, but Benrey’s our friend. He only acted weird on Xen because it amplifies negative emotions. That’s why we felt so afraid and hopeless, otherwise it’d be pretty funny for Benrey to be so big, right? And, and fun to jump around like Moonshoes!”

“He has a point, Bubby.” Coomer takes a seat, and you follow suit, even if Benrey does leave and go sit on top of one of the other scientists who, for some reason, are not paying attention to your group. “I would have loved to see how my Power Legs did with the low gravity.”

“Well...I guess a little murder between friends isn’t that big a deal. And we didn’t die so we’re good for now. Maybe,” Bubby makes the hand sign for ‘i’m watching you’ toward Benrey, who is too busy tea bagging the scientist in mid-air to notice.

“Have,” Tommy looks at you hopefully, “Have you seen Mr. Freeman since my birthday party? Dr. Coomer tried to send him a message, but we’re not sure if he received it.”

“I have,” you say, closing your eyes to try and relax yourself, “Gordon Freeman is a streamer on Justin TV, like I am. I actually was...streaming myself doing this!”

“Good for him, he lived his dumb dream,” says Bubby.

“you’re streaming this, friend?” Benrey hops off the scientist and shuffles over, “you ever stream heavenly sword?”

“I haven’t yet,” you admit, “but I only heard of it through you talking about it to Gordon, so it took me a while to get hold of the game. I was planning on doing that next week.”

“nice,” the guard flops on the ground, just spread out all over. “m’gonna take a nap now. it’s boring without feetman here to bug. no offence, bro, but you’re too nice.”

“None taken,” you huff, very cautiously giving a pat to his helmet. You get a chuckle out of it.

“I hate to admit it,” Bubby isn’t looking at any of you, picking at the sole of his shoe, “but Gordon’s at least somewhat competent a leader.”

Tommy raised his hand, and Coomer gave him a nod to continue, “Mister....Mister Freeman might know what to do so we can get our friend out of here. But how do we tell him we-we need help? Oh,” he remembered something, then called out “SUNKIST!!!”

A woofing came, and you were suddenly bowled over by a large golden retriever.

“Good dog! Sunkist, you should let our friend up and sit with them. They’re, they’re very nervous.” Tommy giggled sweetly as Sunkist backed up and let you right yourself before laying his big head in your lap. You gently rub your hand down from his head to his shoulders, finally glad for your ability to touch things here. Even through your gloves, you felt how soft Sunkist’s fur was, how warm and strong the body beneath. Tommy had been more than right that Sunkist would make you feel better, and you murmur soft nonsense to the sweet pup.

“Can,” you’re nervous as you begin, “Can I ask why the other scientists don’t seem to notice us? They didn’t seem to really interact with Gordon, or you guys either.”

“I don’t know,” Bubby says as he waves a hand at the folks near the computer in the corner, “Somehow we’ve woken up and have some personality. These goons are dull as dishwater and twice as boring.”

“guuuuuuuuys,” Benrey whines loudly, “unless you know something about games or how to talk to freeman, i don’t caaaaare.” You pat his helmet again, getting a grumpy hurmph and a heavy hand falling on your knee.

“Why are you asking me? I don’t know! It’s not like I have his phone number!” Bubby snaps in response.

Dr. Coomer said with a perk of his head, “Our friend is a streamer, though. Does that mean you and Gordon work in the same department?”

“N-no,” you giggle a bit at the idea. “We all work in our own homes, or in office spaces we rent with others in small groups. Gordon has no idea I exist. He’s far too popular to bother with me.” But an idea comes as you speak and feel the steady, gentle weight of Sunkist on your lap, “But maybe my chat could go raid him? He might be streaming now and if they would go talk to him about this....maybe he’d listen?”

The team nods, and Tommy questions, “Didn’t you say you were streaming before you came here? M-maybe they’re still listening!”

“Might as well try,” you take a deep breath, “Guys in the chat, if you can hear me, go find Gordon Freeman on here. Message him, donate, do anything you can to get his attention on this stream! We need his help or....or I might never get out of here.”

You could only hope that your words got through...and that Gordon was in a mood to listen.

#hlvrai #reader insert #tommy coolatta #benrey #dr. coomer #bubby #sunkist

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bitchesofostwick · 5 years

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Hi! I really like all your insight on DA characters and how you write them and since you have characters who romanced both Cullen and Alistair... what's your take on whole "Cullen is Alistair's clone" and "they are the same" thing? What in your opinion are major similarities and differences (personalities and romances)? What's the thing that is the most tricky when you write them?

hey anon! first of all, thank you! ☺️

to address your questions, alistair and cullen are not at all alike...like, at all. they have completely different personalities. and to be frank, the only similarities they share are getting nervous around pretty people and being a part of the chantry system, once. otherwise, they’re two fundamentally different humans, and anyone who thinks otherwise harbors a gross misunderstanding of their characterization.

the main difference you can see, very early on in both of their lives, is the power of choice. from when he was only a baby, alistair didn’t choose anything for himself. he was carted off to eamon and isolde, who treated him like shit and carted him off the the templars in turn. for most of his life, alistair doesn’t choose to make things happen. this continues even through the events of DAO. alistair loses his father figure. alistair is made king. alistair is asked to perform the dark ritual. alistair is the object of so many actions, rather than the other way around, so you can see the pride and love he has for the things he CAN choose for himself, namely the grey wardens and, possibly, a warden who romances him.

cullen, on the other hand (while being a victim of circumstance in many situations), has much of his life dictated, whether directly or indirectly, by his choices. he is a templar because he wanted to be one. he rises to the rank of knight-captain in kirkwall because he is complicit in meredith’s actions, and because he does his job very well. he is commander of the inquisition because he made the conscious choice to accept cassandra’s offer and break away from the order. i’m not at all arguing that everything that’s happened to him is his own fault (it’s obviously not), but he has the agency to make things happen in his life where a lot of times i believe alistair does not.

when it comes to other differences, i mentioned earlier that the wardens and possibly his LI are the first things alistair really has the opportunity to be loyal and amicable to. he speaks well of eamon in DAO, but not as one would speak of someone who he really, really cared for. he’s not attached to the order or the chantry. he’s skeptical of many things outside the wardens. but cullen tends to be faithful and loyal to a fault, be it to the chantry or the order or a cause he is convinced is good and right, and it takes a lot for him to finally see the errors of his faith.

i also find it unfair to compare them when the respective games we see them in the most have them at such different ages. in DAO, alistair is only 20. he’s spent his entire life either being neglected or being a part of the chantry system he wanted to part in. he hasn’t had time to grow into himself yet. he wears his heart on his sleeve and makes many choices or says many things based on his emotions. when we see cullen in DAI, he’s 30. he’s been through shit. he’s not baby DAO cullen anymore, he’s ben affleck smoking dot jpeg cullen. every choice he makes is calculated and based on personal experience (even if these experiences are emotionally charged at times). he finds it difficult to open up to anybody. he’s serious and abrasive and a softie when he finally gets comfortable around someone, where alistair is jokey and sarcastic and finally calm and serious when you’re close enough to him.

their romances are often compared because they play into the tragic past, heart of gold sort of trope, and yeah, okay, i see these similarities. but at the same time, look at where they are in their lives. alistair’s absolutely like yeah okay you’re cute and you’re the first person i’ve connected with like this, the world is ending but i like you a lot. he’s nervous and awkward and inexperienced because he’s young. but then look at cullen (and i’m entering headcanon territory here). cullen, who’d never allowed himself the opportunity to fall in love, or even the distraction of entertaining the thought. cullen who’s devoted everything to the group he was a part of or the cause he believed in and never wanted anything for himself, finally meeting the inquisitor and allowing himself to want something, to fall in love. he’s awkward and nervous and inexperienced just like alistair but not for the same reasons, i don’t think.

as for tricky things when it comes to writing? it’s hard to say. i’ve had a lot of practice with both. alistair is a joy to write because of how funny he is but you have to remember that he hides behind his humor. he’s not childish. he’s afraid, or on edge. cullen is fun to write in a different way. he’s not serious all the time but when he jokes, it’s so serious that you might miss it if you’re not listening. they show (or hide) their pain in different ways. just look at cullen’s canon dialogue “i will endure it.” it’s poetic in its scene but it’s also like the serious equivalent of “guess i’ll die” or “this is fine.” alistair would sooner use sarcasm or bitter quips to cover his inner pain or turmoil, cullen approaches it as “i’ve made my bed, now i’ll lie in it.”

anyway, i’m rambling now, but thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk about two of my very favorite characters! tl;dr alistair and cullen are very different and this is why.

#alistair theirin #cullen rutherford #dragon age #alistair #cullen #anonymous #answered #long post

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