#guilt guilt guilt

[purrdle]

You had one job Donnie

[emprcaesar]

the way you have unrelenting guilt is so sexy!

visual poetry of the dog by oatmilklady on insta

[lauryn-order]

Anyway. I went on my first first date in years yesterday. It’s not gonna work out, I didn’t feel that romantic spark/chemistry I’m looking for, but he was very sweet and kind and we had good conversations.

Also, I’m proud of myself for going, trying, and putting myself out there.

Be proud of me too?

[whinlatter]

Do you have a planned set of chapters for Beasts?

Ohhh man, that is a very good question, and one I’m feeling stressed about. Originally I set out do to eight chapters + a prologue/epilogue (in my mind, chapter one is a prologue more than a proper chapter). As you can probably see from the fact I’m about to start chapter six, the fifth proper chapter, in a fic that will cover a school year (September-July), and in the narrative we’re currently in, er, the first week in October (😅) I’m not sticking to that. I’ve split a lot of chapters into two, so my plan currently is - loosely - fifteen proper chapters at the maximum, plus the short prologue and a short epilogue (the HP fandom loves those, right?) I’ve also drafted and written a few little one shots from alternate POVs at different points in the fic that can be standalone pieces or slot into the arc of the fic, that I’ll try to put out alongside the relevant chapters of the core fic. I really hope that that’s not too maddening an answer and that doesn’t fill you with despair!

[formerly-anonymous-now-me]

Splintered Heart

All the sins I ran away from finally catching up to me

Grasping at my splintered heart

My senses left me weeks ago

Rushing down this road where every fork leads to

My end my end my end

Begging to get caught red handed

Pleading for a trial by fire

[fuckingwhateverdude]

on guilt and desperation, september 2022

[thewilddoghaunts]

They wanna know why I did what I did -

Well sir, I guess there's just a meanness in this world

[summerdawning]

[alexa-crowe]

Champions Do Get Happily Ever Afters

The harsh Fereldan winter has given way to spring once more, leaving sprouting flowers and weeds in its wake. It’s strange to think that they have a house, now, just for the two of them. (And the dog, she’d nagged him about, in that mirthful jesting that they did so well together.) Just Hawke and Anders, in the end. Well, it was the three of them. Not anymore.

“You want to go back?” he’d asked, both of them stripped naked and attempting to hide from a hot Antivan summer under the bedsheets of their room at an inn. “You told me Kirkwall was your home.”

“It was,” Hawke had replied, and for a moment, she’d seemed angry with him, but as swiftly as the expression came to her face, it left. “My home is with you, now. My parents hid us all in Lothering until the blight. Three mages, three children... Our situation has to be of a similar difficulty.”

Anders smiled wistfully and took her hand in his, brushing his lips against her knuckles. “If you believe we can make it work, I won’t say no.”

Now, she’s outside planting flowers. It’s painstaking work, and he sets the dishes to wash themselves as he heads outside. Lilacs, Anders observes. Of course she’s working, even though he advised against it. But he’s just being overprotective, he knows; he’s still not used to the freedom and the pure...serenity that comes with not having to watch your back every second of the day.

Hawke nods. “Do you know what day it is?” she asks, squinting up at him through the sunlight. He shakes his head as she takes a swig from her water skin. “The anniversary of the destruction of Kirkwall’s chantry.”

“Ah.”

“I’m planting these in remembrance for the lives lost. They didn’t deserve to die.” They turn saddened gazes on the flowers. “But someone had to.”

Anders had tried to keep her out of it, but she’s never failed to remind him (if gently) that he made the wrong choice. It’s only ever come to a head once, when he’d been down during the winter months and and she’d been overemotional—well, they hadn’t known that she was overemotional at the time, but in hindsight, it made sense.

“I was worried sick for you, day in and day out!” she’d cried out, tears in her eyes. “I would have done it differently, yes, but I still would have done it!”

“I was trying to protect you!” he’d shouted back. That was also new, not feeling Justice/Vengeance inside of him any longer, occupying a small tendril of thought in the back of his mind at all times. A miracle in and of itself, but also a bit lonesome.

“And I wanted you to trust me!” Hawke had screamed, and that had stopped Anders in his tracks, forcing him to stop pacing and face her. “I only ever wanted you to trust me...” She turns away from him, covering her face with a hand. “You knew that I was dedicated to the cause, and I respected that you didn’t want to get me involved because it made sense—that—that I was too known to help right. I believed you when you said that I was doing much and more by simply being a mage in a position of power.”

“Hawke...” he’d whispered, heart shattering in front of his eyes.

“You didn’t trust me, Anders! Your girlfriend, your partner, and you fucking lied to me and... Maker, but I thought that after everything we’d gone through together, every private thought that I shared with you and only you—all my frustrations with Elthina, and Aveline, and Fenris, and fucking Sebastian. I would’ve thought that you would’ve trusted me enough to come to me with your plan. You knew where my loyalties laid. And you fucking lied to me.”

Anders had turned her around and pulled her into his arms as she began to sob, caressing her head and pressing kisses to her temple. “I’m sorry,” he’d murmured.

“You’re all that I have left in this world, Anders. I want freedom for mages but I need you by my side. I always have.”

“Just you and me, sweetheart,” he agrees, guiding her forehead to his. “And the dog.” She’d let out a watery laugh at that, and suddenly everything that had felt so big just moments ago felt small—felt manageable.

“Is she down for a nap?” Hawke asks, drawing Anders out of his memories.

“Yes, thankfully. The dog’s with her now.”

She chuckles and shakes her head, standing up. “He has a name, you know.”

“What can I say? I’m a cat person—always have been and always will be.”

“Maker...” Hawke mumbles with a smile on her face, a hand going to her wide-brimmed straw hat to tilt it back as she steps in close. Her wedding ring glints in the sunlight before the shade dulls it.

“One of the Elden’s cats just had a litter. I think I’ll stop by tomorrow and get one. I caught them in town earlier and they said they had their hands full with them. They’re even tabbies!”

She leans forward and presses a kiss to his lips. “The dog could use a friend, I think.”

“So when I do it, it’s a problem, but when you just call him ‘dog’ it’s fine.” Anders brings his arms to the small of her back, pulling Hawke in for another kiss.

“You’re catching on,” she giggles, pulling him into the house by his hand. “It’s such a beautiful day. We’ll have to take the baby out later after her lunch.”

Anders nuzzles the back of her neck and brings his hands to her hips as she takes off her hat and mud-proof boots. “We should probably start calling her by her name now that she has one.”

Hawke sighs. “I’m not sure if we should start with her full name or go straight for a nickname. My parents never really did nicknames with anyone but each other. When we were younger, Carver and I used to call Bethany ‘Bethy,’ but that’s it.”

He hums, starting to sway them side to side. “I’ve...” Anders chuckles. “I was going to say that I haven’t spent much time with children, but that’s not true. They came to the clinic often enough. But I’ve never spent enough time around them to see them really grow up. Though, I suppose everyone else will just call her Leandra, so a nickname could just come later.”

Hawke hummed her assent, turning her head to kiss him. “Well, she’s asleep. I say we take advantage of that...”

“Ugh, Maker, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for a nap in my entire life.”

[vamprisms]

adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy

[solreefs]

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

[emprcaesar]

thanks @yourlipisbleeding for the incredible response to my text message it was very girlcore

[flouryhedgehog]

Turning off the reblogs on this. At the time I wrote it, it felt like what I needed to say. There's not as much activity on the post now, but when there is, I feel...sort of hollow. We're so far past the point where this even means anything.

Y'all remember "cops aren't supposed to kill guilty people, either", right?

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to die beneath the rubble of their homes.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be shot with expanding bullets that cause massive tissue damage leading to amputation.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to have their flesh burned away with white phosphorous.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve their fishing boats blown up.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to see their husbands and fathers executed in front of them along evacuation routes.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve an anonymous phone call threatening to destroy their lives and families.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be detained for years without charges.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be tortured, starved, and sexually assaulted in prison.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be deprived of water.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve their olive trees to be uprooted while they look on.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve sixteen years of blockade.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve to be prevented from traveling for lifesaving medical care.

Palestinians who have done something wrong don't deserve this genocide.

[laguz]

women’s flat chests

STOP REBLOGGING THE GUILT TRIP VERSION. THIS POST OFFICIALLY HAS MORE NOTES. YOU GUYS ARE IN TIME OUT AGAIN SMH

[formerly-anonymous-now-me]

Red

Please don’t let me be the reason for more blood

I want happiness, happiness

At the expense of no other

That’s a mighty big, no—

An impossible request

That which I desire is that which ends me

I want guilt free wish fulfillment

But that can’t exist here; I know too much

I’ve a running tally, keeping track

Of how many times I’ve been the villain

I’m dripping red already

Add any more and I’ll drown in it

[thottybrucewayne]

You have to recognize your capacity for harm. You cannot omit the harm you've done to others to remain "good." Anybody can be a bigot. Anyone can be an abuser. Anyone can harm anyone at any time even those who have been harmed themselves. The world is not made up of victims and villains only, this is life, not a Saturday morning cartoon and you are a human being who can or maybe even has hurt others and you HAVE to acknowledge that to learn to be better.