#gus marcus peterson

[wellcomeoneileen]

POST 1/? ON PROCESSING QAF

The show’s ending was more sad than bittersweet to me. I really love heart wrenching and bittersweet and knew QaF would be, so I was surprised at how perturbed I was at Brian’s ending.

Many, many people have thought long and hard on this, so please accept this thought train as more of processing for myself and less as me thinking I’m adding something new/profound to a fandom I literally just joined.

There was a thematic letdown to the whole season and a technical letdown to the very last few minutes. Combined, I left with a sour taste in my mouth.

This post regards the thematic letdown, and the technical letdown can be found in this tag/later post as well.

The show built up to Brian’s big come to Jesus moment for four seasons, then went sidewise in season 5.

That’s because what I thought was his come to Jesus moment and what the show did were totally different. I never felt monogamy or settling down was the core issue for Brian in his view of self or in his relationships with other. I thought it was clear that was a proxy battle, and we were leading up to the bigger, real self-examination.

However, in this email from a show-writer, I think the writers really did see Brian as primarily needing the journey of romantic love, instead of needing an overhaul of his whole worldview: https://queerasfolkfans.livejournal.com/2034990.html

They seem to think Brian was a mostly happy guy, needing to better appreciate romantic love. He grew in that regard, and from it, learned to apply that to other relationships too, and then chose to still not place romantic love as his priority, but at least understands why it was important to have experienced romantic love. That’s not a bad arc, actually. That’s also…not Brian’s story?

My personal key issue, and what I feel like was many other fans, is not that he started and ended the show single, dancing, and proud to be different. The issue is that he started and ended the show lost, hurt, and unhealed.

Why did S5 treat examining his upbringing as something that wouldn’t matter?

Why did S5 end with Brian saying he would visit Gus all the time, Michael saying he wouldn’t, and Brian resigning himself to that?

Why did S5 tease us with Brian and Ted, but didn’t give substance to their friendship?

Ironically, it was the show that gave all of Brian’s conflicts, inciting incidents, and motivations be wrapped around his romantic arc. This shortchanges the viewers. The show writer may say viewers are ignoring Brian’s own wants by wanting him in a relationship, but the show itself didn’t let S5 Brian really have any depth unrelated to Justin. Even growth unrelated to Justin himself had Justin as some sort of impetus.

In S1, Brian only cares about his job and sex, and to a lesser degree, the gang. He gets more and more perspective as the show goes on. Critically, he loses both his wealth (Stockwell firing) and sex (testicular cancer) before season 5. The natural next question for S5 to tackle is, okay, if life isn’t exclusively about money and sex, what is it about?

Because the show didn’t allow Brian to examine this for himself, the obvious answer is Justin, the only other thing Brian has ever been passionate about on screen. But that’s a resounding no in-show. Okay, Michael and/or Gus? Also, the show said no.

So….what does Brian have going for him, then? The show only said “no” they didn’t dig deep enough to say “yes” to anything.

It’s like, the show said at the start, Brian cares only about youth and wealth and those things can’t sustain you. Agreed!

Then, the show said during its duration, romantic love can’t sustain you. Agreed!

But then…it stopped there? What IS sustaining Brian?? It was so obviously set up to have him embrace his community, particularly, Gus, and move beyond the reactionary, traumatized kid he started the show as.

In a good environment, young people can explore several aspects of themselves. Whatever myriad of values they have, they can find outlets for it. And Brian does clearly have several values:

Competitive, creative, problem-solver, likes a challenge, protective, stubborn, a love for flaunting the rules, and a struggle between independence and love of close-knit community.

But the abuse, rejection, and homophobia of his parents did not allow him time to safely explore these facets of himself. He had to quickly cling to whatever would give him positive attention, and he built his life around reactivity to what his parents valued.

He did not get the chance in childhood to deeply know himself. Season 5 would have done well to allow him to explore more of himself, and detach himself from simply doing things he parents would hate, and discover what he, regardless of what they may think, does love. He was primed to do in S5. But they just had him react out of fear more. His wild lifestyle and his settled down lifestyle were both fear-based reactions to trauma in his life.

He took up with tricks out of fear of losing Justin to Hollywood, then he proposed out of fear of losing Justin (and Michael). I would have loved to have seen Brian be allowed to make choices without being put in a corner first. That would have been wonderful character development and allowed more depth to him.  AND if those choices weren’t relationship focused until the end of the season, even better. The whole season could have been “If I am no longer THAT, then what am I?” and it didn’t have to have relationship drama until the end for a grand finale.

Ironically, the show itself was only reacting instead of finding their own stance, just like Brian. They wanted a character who wasn’t only into his romantic love. But they never said what he WAS into. 

In S5, they were perfectly setup, but totally fell short of completing Brian’s arc. He starts the show prioritizing sex and money. He does seem to learn that’s not sustainable. He wrestles with prioritizing romantic love, and the show says that doesn’t suit him. And yet, at the end, Michael and Gus are in places that Brian can’t really touch. So, we don’t know what exactly he should prioritize. What’s his new value set? His worldview? Literally, what will he does with his time now??

By all means, allow Brian to live a non traditional life! But they wasted time with going back and forth on MARRIAGE instead of letting us see Brian try and fail and learn what a life looks like not centered on money, sex, or childhood trauma.

Next posts will detail what I think are reasonable plotlines for S5, the small technical issue for the big last scene flop of S5, and will dive deeper into my thoughts on Brian’s value system that I mentioned in passing here :)

[pentosesuga]

Esophagus Peterson-Marcus

[madsworld15]

New One-Shot: every day in every way (Brian/Justin)

I have written so much in the last few days, I'm proud of myself. This is my 5th prompt submission for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. This one is for the prompt: It seemed like a good idea at the time. (Prompt #6) [5/21 for me personally]

Brian groaned. He was already regretting the choice he and Justin had made. Telling Mel and Linds that they’d take an 8-year-old Gus for a whole week seemed helpful at the time. Now, in the harsh light of day – because Gus wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn – Brian was regretting his decision. Justin on the other hand seemed to be enjoying it. He was currently in the kitchen whipping up some blueberry pancakes for Gus as the child giggled at something Justin must’ve said. 

Brian stumbled into the kitchen and glared daggers at the back of Justin’s head as he listened in on their conversation.

“What do you want to do today, little adventurer?” Justin asked, flipping one of the pancakes. 

“Can we go to the Bronx Zoo?” Gus’ face lit up, “I wanna see the snakes!”

“We can if your Daddy can stop glaring at me and pour himself the coffee he needs.” Justin replied without turning to face Brian. Despite not seeing it, Brian knew his partner added a wink at Gus for good measure.

Brian poured himself a cup of coffee and stepped forward to be right up against Justin’s back. He placed his cup down on the counter, slipped his hands around Justin’s torso, and kissed the blond on his neck. He then looked at Gus with a smile and a wink of his own.

“Do you think we can leave Justin at the Zoo with his relatives?” Brian asked his son with a smirk as Justin discreetly smacked him in the side.

Gus looked between his Dad and Justin, confused. He shook his head, clearly trying to make sense of everything.

“Jus, does your mommy and daddy live at the zoo?” Gus asked.

“No. Your Daddy is making a rude joke. He’s saying that I’m related to one of the animals that lives there. Not sure which one.” Justin shrugged.

He placed a plate of pancakes in front of Brian. Brian looked down at the plate, then back to Gus.

“You want more pancakes, kiddo?” Brian lifted up his plate in offering.

Gus shook his head, “Those are yours, Daddy. Jus made them specially for you.”

Brian frowned down at the plate in front of him. He rarely ate carbs like this, but anytime Gus came for a visit, Justin insisted they eat similar to Gus for comfort reasons. Justin figured the boy was still young enough that spending time with his dad, away from his moms was nerve wracking enough.

An hour later, Brian was finishing up his skincare routine when Justin rounded the corner, into the bathroom with a pained look on his face. Brian paused what he was doing, turned to face Justin, and raised a questioning brow.

“Don’t be mad.” Justin quickly blurted out. “Gus wanted to hang up his drawing on the wall in the living room and so I decided to let him, supervised by me of course.” Justin’s voice was quick and nervous sounding.

Brian put down his cream and stepped into Justin’s space, wrapping his arms around him in a reassuring embrace.

“Okay. What happened?” Brian whispered, his chin leaning on the top of Justin’s head.

“He fell off the chair by accident. He landed on his elbow weird and now he’s crying. We might have to go to the ER.” Justin pulled back and made eye contact with Brian. He was biting his lip nervously. 

Brian wanted to yell and scream in frustration, but instead, he took a deep breath and squeezed Justin’s biceps in comfort.

“Accidents happen Justin.” Brian finally replied, he wanted to say more, but worried that if he tried the wrong words would come out.

With that, he moved past Justin toward the living room. Gus was sitting on the couch, an ice pack held against his elbow, and tears streaking down his face. Brian crossed to his son and crouched down in front of him. The tears in Gus’ eyes broke Brian’s heart. He was still learning how to be a good father, but no matter what he never wanted Gus to be upset.

“Looks like you got yourself into quite the pickle, Sonny Boy.” Brian placed his hand gently on Gus’ face. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Gus started crying in earnest once more.

“We thought it was a good idea at the time.” Justin looked just as aggrieved as Gus did. Brian smiled and shook his head at his two boys.

“I’m sure it would’ve looked great on the wall. Too bad you fell.” Brian shrugged, he was using his gentle tone to distract Gus as he assessed the injury for himself.

“Can we still put it up?” Gus looked at Brian with his biggest puppy dog eyes, and the older man knew he wasn’t immune to what his son was asking. 

“Of course. As soon as we get back from the doctor. It looks like you might’ve broken a bone in your arm.” Brian gave a tight smile and then added, “I’ll even let you eat a popsicle on the way to the hospital.”

“Really?!” Gus’ eyes lit up with excitement.

“Really.” Brian nodded, “Go grab one while Jus and I talk.”

Gus gingerly walked off to grab his favorite popsicle flavor from the stash in the freezer. Justin looked at Brian appraisingly. Brian knew Justin was trying to decipher how he really felt about the situation, but if he was being honest, Brian didn’t even know.

“Seriously, Justin, this isn’t your fault. Accidents happen.” Brian reassured his partner. 

Justin shook his head, still looking supremely guilty. “I could’ve been the one to hang it. I shouldn’t have let Gus do it.”

“Do you really think you would’ve stopped Gus? Stubborn, independent little fucker that he is?” Brian poked his tongue into his cheek before leaning over and placing a kiss on Justin’s lips.

“No, probably not.” Justin agreed with a reciprocal kiss. 

“So, who is calling Lindsay?” Brian gave Justin a pleading look, but based on how Justin laughed, patted his chest, and walked away Brian knew he was on his own.

“Okay, I’ll call her after we see the doctor.” Brian rounded up Justin and Gus to head out the door. “Let’s go.”

Brian smiled as he observed Justin walking up the block with Gus holding his hand. When Gus had been born eight years before, Brian had been terrified at the prospect of being responsible for another human being. Now, he couldn’t imagine not having Gus in his life. Brian was so grateful he’d been given the chance to be an active father in his son’s life. He was determined to be better than his father had been.

“This doesn’t make you Jack.” Justin’s voice whispered in his ear, suddenly next to him once more.

Brian smiled despite the insecurities rolling through his gut. “I know.” 

[lostcol]

queer as folk rec list (#1)

Wooooo finally, sorry it took so long @bethespark ​ ♥

(This is also... inspiration for @eusuntgratie , but no pressure, we’re all well aware of your completely normal and sedate decent into hockey rpf that has consumed your soul and fic life.)

This will be the first post of a few; when I was going through my QAF bookmarks I came across way too many fics I want to rec. No real theme to these, there’s a variety of topics/themes/vibes.

ALL FICS ARE BRITIN/BRIAN X JUSTIN <3

The One Where Justin Loses His Hearing by LaVieEnRose

Series summary: AU after Season 4. The year Justin turns 23, he and Brian get the news that over the next year he's going to gradually lose all of his hearing. The series tracks the next years of their life as they manage their new reality, after-effects of the bashing, their eventual move to New York, and their ever-evolving relationship. Told in first-person chapters from their points of view and some outsiders, with some angst, a lot of hurt/comfort, and loads of humor. Never any big relationship drama, always disability-positive, and no one ever takes themselves too seriously. This isn't a WIP, per se, because all the stories are their own complete thing. It's just a collection of stories in a universe, so it's not going to have some definite end.

Absolutely my #1 rec. Listen, I know you’re going to open it and go holy shit this girl’s insane; it’s a series of one shots set in a universe, currently at 157 one shots and over 800,000 words. But because it’s a series of self-contained one shots, there’s no need to read it all, rush through, whatever. It’s amazing and so so worth it. Just check out the first fic, trust me. Most fics are M, some T, one or two E.

A Queer as Folk Halloween by Brynneth

Rated E, 4K, canon compliant

Summary:  A Halloween costume party, Brian and Justin style. Which of them will win the bet to decide what costumes they will wear?

This is possibly the first fic I read involving subspace. Funny and hot.

Sunshine is a Fucking Dick by Frayach

Rated M, 4K, canon compliant

Summary: Hurt/Comfort? Hurt/Comfort's bullshit.

Brian has cancer and the only way he’ll accept his Sunshine’s help is if he’s a dick about it. This is so good, I’ve reread it a bunch of times.

Contacts by LaVieEnRose

Rated G, 800 words, canon compliant

Summary: Over the years, they saved each other under different names.

What it says on the tin. How and why they’ve saved each other under different names in their phones over the years. Very cool character/relationship insight.

Fatherhood by PrettyTheWorld and TrueIllusion 

Rated M and E, 94K, 5 one shots (so far), post-series

Series summary: A series of one shots that focus on Brian's relationship with teenage Gus.

Really good series set post-series, Justin and Brian are living in NYC and Brian’s son Gus, who was 5 when the show ended, is a teenager living in Canada with his moms. Brian sometimes struggles to navigate parenting a teen, but he’s grown a lot and is determined to have a good relationship with his son, unlike his father’s relationship with him. On the softer side, some super sweet moments, some angst, some humor. 

[behindthesefangirleyes]

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

By SilverShadow1

“I won’t lie and say it’s easy.”

“Few things in life are. I’ve found what counts most is being easy on ourselves.”

OR

Gus doesn’t believe in labels; he believes in fucking.

[xroub]

Every QAF Relationship: [9/?]

[sunshinecollectoriii]

Happy Fathers Day

To all the fathers and father figures

💙💙💙💙

[babylonights]

everyone talks about future!britin fluff and everything but no one pays attention to the fact that gus is 19 right now. imagine gus trying to explain Among Us to brian

[briansjustin]

QUEER AS FOLK (U.S.) -> 1.01

[brlankinney]

queer as folk the book | lindsay with gus 👶🏻

[hamliet]

Lindsay and Melanie: The Illusion of Control

Okay, so since I already wrote an analysis of Michael's arc in Queer as Folk, I figured I'd move onto the next main character that gets a lot of flack: Lindsay Peterson. But also Melanie Marcus, because their arcs are intertwined as much as Brian's and Justin's.

That said, there's going to be a serious aspect of critique here, because unlike with Michael--whom I genuinely think is one of the best written characters--Melanie's and especially Lindsay's characters do have some very obvious writing flaws. (I also already touched on this--briefly--here.) However, they also have some very clear strengths in their writing that I find intriguing, so let's dive in.

Again in my analysis of Michael (and Justin and Brian), I talked about the overall motif/theme of illusion vs. reality. That is something also very present in Lindsay and Melanie's respective arcs, where it takes the form of the illusion of control. Control is the primary flaw for both women, but it manifests itself differently.

Lindsay: wants to control her image

Melanie: wants control of the world around her

Lindsay: Infuriatingly Right, and Wrong

Marianne: Is Lindsay one of those people who's always infuriatingly right?

Oh, Lindsay. She's kind to those around her, and she's often right. But her rightness comes from her empathy, which also can become her greatest weakness... because she knows she's often right, and she knows she's compassionate, she can then try to please everyone and thereby please no one.

In season 1, Linds doesn't want to upset Brian or Melanie regarding Gus, and therefore creates more problems. Neither Brian nor Melanie were wrong in what they were feeling, but how Brian went about it was wrong. It's Lindsay's desire to be the perfect friend to Brian and girlfriend to Melanie that keeps her from being decent at either at first.

When Linds hits a rough point, her default is to go into image-control mode. She can't risk losing the house after she and Mel break up in season 1, so she finds a gay man and opts to marry him for convenience. She'd get to keep the house, and he'd get to stay in the country. But it's all a fraud and also highly illegal. Still, Lindsay goes to great lengths to invent a fake relationship to make this work, and would have gone through with it had Brian not intervened.

That's why Lindsay deciding to propose to Melanie in season 2, at her sister's third wedding after her sister's atrocious patronizing insult, is so powerful for Lindsay. It's such a taboo, and yet a beautiful moment. She's shattering her image, and her family's image (which is indeed what her mom, Nancy, goes on to bewail).

As we go on to see, Lindsay has always struggled with trying to earn her parents' approval. They judge her sexuality and don't even consider Gus their grandson.

Lindsay: It's not about the money. It's about... Mel: Love? You want them to show you the same attention that they show Lynette... Maybe we have to prove more afford. We've never really asked them over to see how we live. Meet our friends. Which makes us same guilty as they are. Lindsay: So, what are we do? Mel: We invite them over and throw a little party. Lindsay: You aren't serious! Mel: If they could see that we're a real family, with a real life, just like your sister, then they might feel differently.

But they are a real family, and they have real lives with or without Lindsay's parents' permission. Lindsay's arc in season 2 shows her letting go of expectations, as her parents fail her yet again and show that the reason Lindsay focuses so much on image? Is because they do the same.

Mel: Lindsay's been working her ass off for you. Would it have been so f*cking hard to show up? Nancy and Ron: Language! Mel: Your excuses are bullshit. All she wants from you is to show her a little support.... Look, I know what you think about me. I'm the slick Jew lawyer come to shake you down for a few sheckels. The d*ke who corrupted your daughter. Well, you're wrong. I'm Lindsay's loving partner, and Gus's adoring mother. And I know that I will never cause him the pain that you've caused her. He'll never have to wonder whether or not I love him.

"Language" when you've just lied to your daughter to avoid going to a simple party at her house is a real laugh.

When Lindsay and Melanie's wedding starts to go wrong, Lindsay wants to call it off because she thinks it's just not supposed to happen because they're gay. Fortunately, again, Melanie and Brian intervene to save the day. But this incident reveals how deeply ingrained the self-loathing, shame, and struggle to conform to an image of what a wedding/life should be are in Lindsay. Thus, it makes sense that she'd backslide in her arc at times... although the backsliding isn't always handled well.

We then also see Lindsay getting Brian to fake being her husband to get Gus into school. The narrative then denies Gus in favor of a same-sex couple, teaching Lindsay a valuable lesson: be yourself, regardless of image. But that's hard to keep up in a world that is so toxic.

When Lindsay becomes an art seller in season 3, she makes great strides and is highly successful, earning a good impression in those around her. She also pushes that season for Brian to be the father for her and Mel's next child, even though neither Melanie nor Brian are excited about this possibility. The point is that Lindsay keeps saying she wants Brian to father their second child because "our kids [should] be related."

The irony, of course, is that Lindsay's own blood relations ignore her at best. Her family is with those around her, a found family. Hence, it's good from this perspective that Lindsay supports Melanie choosing Michael as the father.

However, once we get into season 4, Lindsay finds herself facing a new temptation: a man, whom her mother would approve of (as seen in season 5, she does). But said man is horrible, cruel, and openly misogynistic.

It also says something about Lindsay's self-esteem that she had sex with a man who literally just wanted to turn a lesbian. Gross. Of course, Lindsay wasn't interested in that and regretted it immediately, and affirmed that she was a lesbian (yes, bi erasure comes into play here, but people are what they say their labels are). Yet still, it's ironic and sad that the idea of looking "as she should" causes the family she does have to fall apart.

Does the cheating plotline with Sam work for her arc? On paper, I do think so. In the context of the story as a whole and the world it's created in, it's not the best choice for where they could have taken her arc, imo. By not the best, I mean "laziest." They got where Lindsay needed to grow and got the challenge, but could have done it in a far more unique and interesting way that didn't come with icky subtext.

When Lindsay then leaves Melanie, it also makes sense and could be seen as growth for a time. Mel lashed out at her in ways that were both fair and unfair, and Lindsay didn't have to sit there and put up with it after a certain time. It was good for her to show Melanie that she couldn't lash out at Lindsay in her pain.

Melanie: Hurting, or Hypocrite?

My initial reaction to Melanie's response to Lindsay cheating on her with Sam was that she was being totally hypocritical. And she was. But, I actually think it could have worked for her character arc... if it had been explored on a deeper level. (It also wasn't the only way to have her grow, so... I think they should've gone with another plotline, but if they wanted to go with this one, it actually really could have worked, and does to the extent where it doesn't completely ruin her or Lindsay's arc, which was impressive because in less skilled hands it for sure would have.)

Let's back up and talk about what Melanie's arc was about. I've already said it was about control, which, if we had any doubts, Lindsay clears up for us:

Melanie: If you would've listened to me and done what I said, we wouldn't be playing this game of, "Baby, Baby, Who's Got The Baby?" Lindsay: That's what's killing you, isn't it? It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody agreement. It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus, not getting her way, not having complete control over everything. Well, tough shit, ya don't!

But why does Melanie want control so badly?

We'll start off with Melanie's antagonistic relationship to Brian. No, this isn't making Mel's arc about Brian, but about foiling.

Despite claiming to hate Brian, Melanie really only hates him not because of jealousy for Lindsay, but because she has a lot in common with him and doesn't like to see that. Brian doesn't control the people around him, that's true, but Brian is the sort who acts like he doesn't give a care about anyone until all of a sudden, he's sacrificing everything to make them happy. Melanie's the same. She claims to hate Brian, but is willing to represent him pro bono when he's falsely accused of sexual harassment.

She denies some of the best parts of herself, and feels a constant need to prove she has the right to exist and live and love. That's also the crux of Brian's issues: feeling the need to prove the right to live, without realizing that you don't need to earn life.

Hence, Melanie learning to accept Brian and tolerate him (albeit with the same sardonic eye rolls Brian employs with 99% of his loved ones) is symbolic of her learning to accept those parts of herself she doesn't want to accept. When she denies this, she pays the price. For example, when Melanie chooses Michael over Brian to father JR... yeah, you're not gonna hear me defending Michael here. At all. Mel's at first worried about having a repeat of Gus, but Brian had grown and would never have put her through a custody battle.

Melanie accepting Brian also shows Melanie how to grow: she needs to let go of the need to control others, which is partially what she does in the end of the series. She can't control Lindsay or whom Lindsay is attracted to, she can't control the fathers of her children and the roles they play in their kids' lives, but she loves them. Because she loves them, she has a way forward.

Melanie's way forward has always been through Lindsay. Their marriage storyline in season 2 ties into Melanie overcoming her flaw as much as it does Lindsay. When Mel tells Lindsay that while she initially said there was no point in getting married, she meant because straight people wouldn't give them permission. But as she then tells Lindsay:

Mel: That's not quite true... we wouldn't give ourselves permission.

Mel tries to control those around her out of fear of herself, and her being accepted by Lindsay despite losing self-control (via her affair in season 1), and then by marrying Lindsay, was always her path forward.

However, Brian's influence isn't perfect. Him telling Melanie she needs to play the game--the same advice she leaned into when defending him in season 1--backfired when she pushed Lindsay to do the same with Sam. In a sense, this could be seen as a way of asking Lindsay to reconsider Melanie's perspective.

Melanie's issues with playing the game are directly tied to her identity: she's a Jewish lesbian, and she has always felt different because of it. Lindsay's parents constantly put her down, people invalidate her as a woman because of her endometriosis and fertility struggles, and she loses opportunities at work for her orientation. Every time she defends herself, she falls back on her identity. See the above quote where Melanie tells off Ron and Nancy, and also Mel's response to the Petersons freak-out over Lindsay proposing to her (where she says that of course the Petersons "blame the Jew").

From this perspective, Melanie's utter freak out at Lindsay's infidelity makes a ton of sense. She's always comforted herself that she isn't alone: she has Lindsay, who is also a lesbian and loves her. But is she enough? How can she be in a world that tells her she's wrong? (It's also not a coincidence Mel is the character who frequently brings up straight white male privilege.)

But then Lindsay gives into her worst flaws. Melanie is terrified of losing her, and she pushes Lindsay away (hey, Brian-esque tendencies: kick them out before they leave!). When Melanie tells Lindsay off, it's with a scathing speech about how she's always known exactly who she is:

Mel: it gave you a chance to contrast and compare and come to the conclusion that given the choices, you still prefer me!

Lindsay: That part is true.

Mel: Well, it isn't true for me. I know which team I play on. It's not a choice or a preference. It's who I am! It's who I've always been. A rug muncher, a muff-diver, a cunt-lapper, a bull, a lezzie, a d*ke!

Lindsay: What do you think I am?

Mel: Don't ask me to make up your mind for you. You have to do that all by yourself.

Lindsay: I'm a lesbian.

Mel: Not if you're having sex with a man, honey!

Yes, Mel's reaction is biphobic. But it also makes sense from the perspective of being pregnant, doing a very traditionally expected feminine thing, and then finding out someone she's always felt she wasn't good enough for cheated on her with a man Lindsay's family would be all too happy to see her leave Mel for. I mean, that's what Mel directly tells Lindsay:

Mel: There's nothing I can do that'll ever make you feel completely happy. You'll always feel unsatisfied and I'll always feel like I'm not enough. Lindsay: That's not true. Mel: Bullshit! Of course it is! Otherwise none of this would've happened!

This could have worked fairly well as an exploration of concepts like biphobia and Melanie's own self-esteem issues, but it was mostly not addressed. In an ideal version of QaF, all of this could also have then been used to explore Melanie's complicated feelings about being a mom, a lesbian, and a successful lawyer. But, it wasn't.

Along those lines, it does make sense that needing to play the game in a legal sense had legal consequences for Melanie (custody). But again, this wasn't dealt with on a deep-enough level to have emotional impact, or to feel earned instead of feeling like tacked-on drama (that was somewhat unfair, too; give Mel a break!)

Lindsay, Melanie, Debbie, and Jennifer

Lindsay and Melanie also foil Debbie and Jennifer, the two other moms with arcs in the series. All four are good mothers. Two are outspoken (Debbie and Mel), two softer (Lindsay and Jennifer). Two attempt to control others albeit out of love and fear of being hurt (Melanie and Debbie), while two want control of their own image (Lindsay and Jennifer).

For example, Jennifer literally tells Craig not to tell anyone about Brian and Justin's relationship because "that's the last thing we need, for anybody else to know!" Thus, it's also fitting that Jennifer ends up in a slightly transgressive relationship of her own at the end of the series (with the much younger Tucker). Letting go of your image to be yourself is the best way to love others, and yourself.

But Jen and Melanie have similar views of Brian and a similar arc in season 1. Through learning to accept Brian, Melanie learns she isn't perfect and accepts this, and Jennifer learns to grow. Lindsay and Debbie are similar too in how they always accepted Brian as he is. However, Lindsay and Debbie's arcs are both about how they need to accept they aren't perfect, either (and again, their empathy/being right is at once their greatest strengths and their greatest weakness, because it makes it harder for them to look at themselves and be like: am I the bad guy here?) For more on Deb's arc, see here.

Considering these four women are all such obvious foils, more interaction between them would've been nice.

Why Mellinds' Writing Flaws Stand Out

It's not that I think Melanie and Lindsay's arcs themselves are bad technically speaking--clearly, I don't think that. I also don't think there's a huge gap in writing quality between them and some of the male cast. However, there is a reason that people tend to pick up on the issues in their arcs more, and that has everything to do with the lack of good representation--not just in the world, but specifically in Queer as Folk.

There are three main female characters (Lindsay, Melanie, Debbie), of which only Linds and Mel are queer. There are only four female characters with long-running arcs (add Jennifer to the previous three). Each of the main four female characters' arcs? Is primarily explored through their motherhood and relationships with men.

Not Great. (Daphne is a great side character, but she doesn't really have her own arc, which is a shame; I think a lot could have been done here especially when it comes to intersectionality.)

While Debbie's writing is some of the best in the series, she's still straight, as is Jennifer. I don't so much think I would change the overall directions of Melanie and Lindsay's arcs, but there needed to be another queer female character (cis or trans) to add diversity and avoid a "one size fits all" portrayal of women's desires. Because there isn't, the show comes dangerously close to this perspective, which is at its core very much the exact opposite of its message: we don't all have to be the same to be human. QaF says fuck one size fits all, after all! I kinda wish Leda had stuck around...

Now, this could work since it is, after all, just a story, and stories aren't inherently obligated to show you a perfect kind of representation for everyone... but QaF did hold itself up as breaking boundaries and pushing a progressive narrative. Which, it did. But of course, this also means its flaws stand out more.

Illusion vs Reality

The idea of "control" is something very human. Don't we all want some control over our own lives, our futures, over what the world thinks about us? Thus, Lindsay and Melanie's relationship journey ties into the concept of what it means to be human, which is QaF's main theme. Being human means you can't control things except yourself, and even then there are limits (diseases, bodies and brains that get injured). And even self-control isn't a guarantee, which is why we need the people we love around us.

When Mel and Linds move to Canada in the season finale, it's a healthy decision for them. No, they haven't completely overcome their flaws. They probably won't, because no one ever will in this life, but they can grow all the same. They're moving to a place where they are more supported, a place where they can make their marriage legal (a callback to how, when breaking up over Sam, they remarked how they were lucky they couldn't marry legally because they didn't have to go through a divorce; now they do, assuming they legally marry which seems pretty obvious). There, Melanie might find it a healthier environment to begin to heal and feel less like she has to be on the defensive about her identity. There also, Lindsay has completely left her biological family but will keep in touch with her found family, as she and Mel assure Deb "we wouldn't be family without you."

No, it's not perfect. There are no guarantees. Nothing is solved, and Canada will have its own problems undoubtedly. But keep trying for a better world, for a safer environment, to be aware of your own limits and need for a healthier place, to want to raise your kids in a better place--that's all love in action. Love is active in Queer as Folk far more than it's an emotion. It's a decision. It's hope put into actions. It's faith. And that's beautiful.

[stitchedopen]

Anybody around to talk Queer as Folk?

Because it’s been how many years now since I first watched it, but I STILL get all fucked up whenever I think about it. And I’ve been thinking about it A LOT this weekend. 

[madsworld15]

I’ve been struggling with my mental health the last couple of days. So, I wanted to share a bit of my next fic in the hopes people get excited for it. And as such encourage me to write more.

Fic Summary: It’s early 2016 and Brian and Justin have full custody of Gus while he attends a prestigious Art & Science High School in NYC. One day his friend Isaac shows up asking for a place to stay after his dad hit him. Brian and Justin readily provide shelter to the young teen.

Is this why you didn’t come to school today?” Gus asked in a hushed tone.

Brian caught Justin’s attention and motioned for him to follow him into the front sitting area, letting the two teens remain at the kitchen island to talk. Justin followed without a word. He knew that Brian’s dad used to beat on him when he was Isaac and Gus’ age, but he never expected Brian to be so quick on his feet to help Isaac. After all, Hunter had been a different brand of abused teen, and Brian hadn’t really gone out of his way to help him.

Maybe it was the meek nature of Isaac versus Hunter, who had been loudmouthed and brash. He wanted to ask Brian why this kid was different, but based on Brian’s closed-off body language, Justin’s questions wouldn’t get him very far. Even without saying anything, he knew that Jack Kinney was at the forefront of Brian’s mind.

“Hey, Jus.” Gus’ quiet voice broke Justin out of his thoughts. He realized he had started to stroke Brian’s hair during their quiet reverie.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Justin gave the young teen his full attention.

“Can we still make pizzas? I think it would be a good distraction for Isaac.” Gus looked nervous like he wasn’t sure how to act in the situation.

Justin gave him a big smile and jumped up. “Absolutely. Let’s go.”

Brian didn’t move or even acknowledge that he’d heard anything Gus had just said. Despite being a bit concerned, Justin left him to his thoughts and went to engage the boys in an hour of pizza dough rolling and baking.

[lostcol]

Chapters: 13/? Fandom: Queer as Folk (US) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk) Characters: Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk), Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk), Todd (Queer as Folk), Daphne Chanders, Emmett Honeycutt, Michael Novotny, Ted Schmidt, Debbie Novotny, Cynthia (Queer as Folk), Ben Bruckner, Lindsay Peterson, Melanie Marcus, Gus Peterson-Marcus Additional Tags: What-If, Season/Series 03, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, Sick Character, Love, Smut, Fluff, Seizures, Epilepsy, POV First Person, POV Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk), Some Humor, Nightmares, i say 'medical emergency' but i promise it's nothing too dramatic, Panic Attacks, Canon Divergent, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, I'm pretty sure it's lighter than the tags make it sound Summary:

What if, a few weeks after Justin left Ethan, Justin had a medical emergency at Babylon and Brian happened to be there?

[unclescurvy]

2019 Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet

QB

12 Patrick Mahomes (KC)

- 

7 Ben Roethlisberger (PIT)

10 Deshawn Watson (HOU)

11 Aaron Rodgers (GB)

9 Matt Ryan (ATL)

9 Jared Goff (LAR)

7 Cam Newton (CAR)

9 Drew Brees (NO)

6 Andrew Luck (IND-INJ)

 -

10 Carson Wentz (PHI)

11 Russell Wilson (SEA)

12 Philip Rivers (LAC)

6 Mitch Trubisky (CHI)

7 Jameis Winston (TB)

7 Baker Mayfield (CLE)

12 Kirk Cousins (MIN)

10 Tom Brady (NE)

6 Josh Allen (BUF)

4 Sam Darnold (NYJ)

8 Dak Prescott (DAL)

9 Andy Dalton (CIN)

10 Nick Foles (JAX)

4 Jimmy Garoppolo (SF)

10 Joe Flacco (DEN)

11 Eli Manning (NYG)

6 Derek Carr (OAK)

5 Matt Stafford (DET)

 -

8 Lamar Jackson (BAL)

11 Marcus Mariota (TEN)

12 Kyler Murray (ARZ)

5 Ryan Fitzpatrick (MIA)

10 Case Keenum (WAS)

 -

10 Dwayne Haskins (WAS)

5 Josh Rosen (MIA)

6 Jacoby Brissett (IND)

11 Ryan Tannehill (TEN)

9 Taysom Hill (NO)

4 Nick Mullens (SF)

-

RB

11 Saquon Barkley (NYG)

7 Christian McCaffrey (CAR)

9 Alvin Kamara (NO)

 -

7 James Conner (PIT)

4 Le’Veon Bell (NYJ)

 -

10 Leonard Fournette (JAX)

7 Nick Chubb (CLE)

 -

11 Derrick Henry (TEN)

12 David Johnson (ARZ)

9 Todd Gurley (LAR-INJ?)

9 Devonta Freeman (ATL)

8 Ezekiel Elliott (DAL-HOLDOUT?)

9 Joe Mixon (CIN)

10 Phillip Lindsay (DEN)

10 Sony Michel (NE)

12 Melvin Gordon (LAC-HOLDOUT?)

 -

8 Mark Ingram (BAL)

11 Chris Carson (SEA)

12 Dalvin Cook (MIN)

6 David Montgomery (CHI)

5 Kerryon Johnson (DET)

6 Marlon Mack (IND)

12 Damien Williams (KC)

6 Josh Jacobs (OAK)

11 Aaron Jones (GB)

6 Tarik Cohen (CHI)

10 Lamar Miller (HOU)

 -

6 LeSean McCoy (BUF)

10 Derrius Guice (WAS-INJ?)

7 Ronald Jones (TB)

10 Miles Sanders (PHI)

10 Duke Johnson (HOU)

5 Kalen Ballage (MIA)

12 Austin Ekeler (LAC)

5 Kenyan Drake (MIA-INJ)

 -

10 James White (NE)

4 Tevin Coleman (SF)

10 Jordan Howard (PHI)

10 Adrian Peterson (WAS)

4 Jerick McKinnon (SF-INJ)

11 Rashaad Penny (SEA)

10 Chris Thompson (WAS)

7 Kareem Hunt (CLE-SUS 8)

4 Matt Brieda (SF)

6 Mike Davis (CHI)

7 Peyton Barber (TB)

9 Giovani Bernard (CIN)

6 Nyheim Hines (IND)

11 Dion Lewis (TEN)

9 Latavius Murray (NO)

9 Darrell Henderson (LAR)

8 Tony Pollard (DAL)

7 Jaylen Samuels (PIT)

4 Ty Montgomery (NYJ)

12 Justin Jackson (LAC)

12 Carlos Hyde (KC)

10 Royce Freeman (DEN)

11 Jamaal Williams (GB-INJ?)

6 Frank Gore (BUF)

8 Gus Edwards (BAL)

10 Devontae Booker (DEN)

9 Ito Smith (ATL)

12 Ameer Abdullah (MIN)

6 Jalen Richard (OAK)

9 Malcolm Brown (LAR)

-

WR

10 DeAndre Hopkins (HOU)

11 Davante Adams (GB)

9 Julio Jones (ATL)

9 Michael Thomas (NO)

7 Mike Adams (TB)

 -

7 Odell Beckham, Jr. (CLE)

7 JuJu Smith-Schuster (PIT)

6 T.Y. Hilton (IND)

12 Keenan Allen (LAC-INJ)

12 Tyreek Hill (KC – SUS? TRADE?)

6 Antonio Brown (OAK-INJ)

12 Adam Theilen (MIN)

9 Cooper Kupp (LAR)

 -

10 Julian Edelman (NE-INJ?)

9 Brandin Cooks (LAR)

12 Stefon Diggs (MIN)

5 Kenny Golladay (DET)

9 A.J. Green (CIN-INJ 3)

7 Chris Godwin (TB)

12 Mike Williams (LAC)

9 Tyler Boyd (CIN)

8 Amari Cooper (DAL)

9 Robert Woods (LAR)

 -

10 Will Fuller (HOU)

7 D.J. Moore (CAR)

9 Calvin Ridley (ATL)

6 Allen Robinson (CHI)

7 Jarvis Landry (CLE)

11 Tyler Lockett (SEA)

10 Alshon Jeffery (PHI)

10 Courtland Sutton (DEN)

5 Marvin Jones (DET)

11 Sterling Shepard (NYG-INJ)

10 Emmanuel Sanders (DEN-INJ)

12 Sammy Watkins (KC)

 -

11 Marquez Valdes-Scantling (GB)

10 Desean Jackson (PHI)

4 Robby Anderson (NYJ)

12 Christian Kirk (ARZ)

7 Curtis Samuel (CAR)

10 Nelson Agholor (PHI)

4 Jamison Crowder (NYJ)

4 Dante Pettis (SF)

6 Devin Funchess (IND)

10 Dede Westbrook (JAX)

10 Keke Coutee (HOU-INJ)

10 Josh Gordon (NE-SUS)

6 Tyrell Williams (OAK)

8 Randall Cobb (DAL)

10 Chris Conley (JAX)

6 John Brown (BUF)

5 DeVante Parker (MIA)

12 Larry Fitzgerald (ARZ)

10 Trey Quinn (WAS)

11 Golden Tate (NYG-SUS 4)

4 Deebo Samuel (SF)

8 Michael Gallup (DAL)

9 Tre’Quan Smith (NO)

6 Anthony Miller (CHI)

11 Corey Davis (TEN)

7 James Washington (PIT)

11 D.K. Metcalf (SEA)

7 Donte Moncrief (PIT)

4 Quincy Enunwa (NYJ)

9 Mohammed Sanu (ATL)

7 Breshad Perriman (TB)

5 Kenny Stills (MIA)

12 Demarcus Robinson (KC)

8 Marquise Brown (BAL-INJ?)

10 Paul Richardson (WAS)

11 Adam Humphries (TEN)

-

TE

12 Travis Kelce (KC)

10 Zach Ertz (PHI)

4 George Kittle (SF)

 6 Eric Ebron (IND)

9 Jared Cook (NO)

7 O.J. Howard (TB)

11 Evan Engram (NYG)

 7 Vance McDonald (PIT)

12 Hunter Henry (LAC)

10 Jordan Reed (WAS)

11 Delanie Walker (TEN)

11 Jimmy Graham (GB)

 8 Mark Andrews (BAL)

7 Greg Olsen (CAR)

11 Will Dissly (SEA)

6 Trey Burton (CHI)

12 Kyle Rudolph (MIN)

8 Jason Witten (DAL)

10 Dallas Goedert (PHI)

9 Austin Hooper (ATL)

7 David Njoku (CLE)

-

7 Cameron Brate (TB)

6 Darren Waller (OAK)

9 Tyler Eifert (CIN)

10 Noah Fant (DEN)

5 T.J. Hockenson (DET)

6 Mo Alie-Cox (IND)

10 Matt LaCosse (NE)

5 Mike Gesicki (MIA)

-

K

8 Justin Tucker (BAL)

9 Greg Zuerlein (LAR)

9 Will Lutz (NO)

10 Stephen Gostkowski (NE)

 -

10 Ka’imi Fairbairn (HOU)

12 Harrison Butker (KC)

12 Kaare Vedvick (MIN)

11 Aldrick Rosas (NYG)

11 Mason Crosby (GB)

8 Brett Maher (DAL)

11 Jason Myers (SEA)

9 Giorgio Tavecchio (ATL)

12 Michael Badgley (LAC)

 -

12 Zane Gonzalez (ARZ)

6 Stephen Hauschka (BUF)

7 Graham Gano (CAR)

6 Eddy Piniero (CHI)

9 Randy Bullock (CIN)

7 Austin Seibert (CLE)

10 Brandon McManus (DEN)

5 Matt Prater (DET)

6 Adam Vinitieri (IND)

10 Josh Lambo (JAX)

12 Ty Long (LAC)

5 Jason Sanders (MIA)

6 Daniel Carlson (OAK)

10 Jake Elliott (PHI)

7 Chris Boswell (PIT)

7 Matthew McCrane (PIT)

4 Robbie Gould (SF)

4 Jon Brown (SF)

7 Cairo Santos (TB)

7 Matt Gay (TB)

11 Ryan Succop (TEN)

10 Dustin Hopkins (WAS)

4 Taylor Bertolet (NYJ)

-

DEF

6 Chicago

 -

9 LA Rams

7 Cleveland

10 Jacksonville

12 LA Chargers

10 Houston

12 Kansas City

 -

5 Miami

10 Denver

4 NY Jets

12 Minnesota

11 Seattle

7 Pittsburgh

10 New England

10 Washington

9 New Orleans

8 Baltimore

9 Cincinnati

[xroub]

random thought: what/who would justin be to gus when he’s older? how would he introduce justin to people? family friend, uncle? because even when justin and brian get married (and YES they do) I really don’t think he would call him any kind of “dad” variant