#guys . . . pls . . . it's been 6 years since you announced this game . . .

[sage-nebula]

Every day is suffering when you're a Hollow Knight fan. (Happy for y'all in the Hades fandom, tho.)

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hi, Connie. I know it's been a while since you did any headcanons and idk if you still do them, but I'm curious of your opinion. I realize the wall is one giant quarantine bubble, but the people are still free to do as the please inside it. How do you think each of the chocobros would handle an Insomnia-wide quarantine like what's going on in most of the world right now? What if one of them got sick (assuming a FFXV equivalent of COVID-19?) How would Regis, as King, take care of his people?

PS: Aparently the Keep Reading line is having some troubles. May appear right under the question (how did it get THERE?) or nowhere at all lol pls forgive tumblr he trying. 

HEEEEEEEEEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s definitely been a while since I did any headcanons, but that’s because school has kept me busy like crazy, and when I have spare time, I put it into my two big fanfics going on (I don’t want people to wait too much!) but I’ll definitely keep doing these, every single one of them, until I finish, even if it takes me years and years <3

The ask prompts are one of my favorite things in the world so of course I’ll keep them going!

HOH

YOUR PROMPT IS SUPER INTERESTING!!!!! AYYYYY, let’s see what this raccoonie brain has there!! 

FFXV Insomnia in a quarantine

First things first, the government

Regis, as King:

Regis is going all the way into making sure EVERYONE can stay home.

Regis is going to ask the other countries to lend Lucis money. As in. M I L L I O N S.

“Your Majesty, you ARE aware we’re nowhere half to repaying that debt in a near future?”

“THIS IS A LITERAL PLAGUE WITH NO CURE YET THAT’S KILLING DOZENS SOME OF WHICH THEIR FAMILIES CAN’T SAY GOODBYE TO AND YOU W O R RY  A B O UT   T HE  E  C O NO M Y   ¿¿¿? ?!??”

Regis has brain and, most importantly, humanity. He’s definitely going to put the country in debt for the next 15 kings is that helps people right now.

Mostly because he’s aware it’s no one’s fault. 

Regis is announcing what he’s going to do to keep people safe publicly:

The next three months of any loans are forgiven. Mortgage, rent, water, electricity, and all the public services will be free for the next three months. If you own any debts, be it a house or a little clock, you don’t have to pay on the next 3 months, and instead that amount will be divided into future months in small amounts so it’s recovered in the medium or long run. No one needs to spend one gil in any of the basics, don’t worry about that, it’s covered, government’s got you, SO PLEASE STAY HOME. 

Regis is aware that some people can’t stay home because what little they earn is what they spend in basic food; Regis is going to spend lots of the money he burrowed in them.

Regis is going to pay as well to teachers and artists for online classes and entertainment, because he’s aware of the mental/emotional distress people can be in after certain time indoors. 

Regis is going to put most the money in the medical and cleaning services.

Regis is going to keep online and phone polls for people to fill in particular cases (I still need to go out because I need to go look after my mother each friday, I still need to go out because I need to go get medicines each certain time at this district) so the Citadel’s intel know best what to do.

Regis is going to make sure to have teams sanitizing public transport and places everyday.

Regis is a no-game man, dammit.

((Regis is the reason Insomnia only needed three months before being free))

Makes sure the media broadcasts not only the death cases, but also and most importantly the healed cases. Not gonna let the media get stupid with this for money or paranoia, no sir

Noctis, as prince

DID YOU THINK HE WAS JUST GOING TO MOP, THIS IS THE PRINCE

(Remember the game tells us he was a damn good prince as in politically? what a bean <3)

Noct was taken more off guard; Regis acted immediately like a (good) madman, Noctis still needed a bit to process it

Noct is who comes up with some ideas that Regis puts into action (the phone/online polls, the online classes, for example)

Noct too manages some of the intel going on during quarentine to see how the city is progressing and how else they can help.

Noctis is in charge of the interviews along the...health minister (?) everyday, while Regis stays at work and intel.

Noctis makes sure to do a livestream each certain days to greet the people, answer questions, or just have a bit of fun, and to remind them to stay home and to keep the spirits up. We know Noct would rather rot in boredome in his sofa because Sleepy Boy, but he knows the effect he has on his people, so he does the livestreams for them; to keep them entertained, informed, and simply to keep them sane.

Noctis came up with the idea of making an app/text service for those that suffer of domestic violence; “staying home” sounds easy to him because he has a huge house and a good family, but he’s aware that not do everyone. 

(Putting a keep reading here)

Noctis

Sleeps it away lmao

Honestly Noct doesn’t have much troubles with the whole “stay home” thing. He likes home. He LOVES staying home. LET HIM STAY EVEN AFTER QUARENTINE IS OVER.

Noct has videogames and his bed. You don’t need to tell him twice to stay home. 

Noct sleeps most of the day. 

Noct decides to not shower everyday.

The only trouble Noct goes through is that his room starts getting super messy everyday and Ignis isn’t going to appear to help him out. 

Noctis spends his time doing homework and mumbling about how “teachers didn’t use to give us this much homework until quarentine, this is just their excuse goddammit fuck this shit”

I feel you Noct

Besides that, videogames, trash food, and sleeping.

It’s 9 pm, he’s in pajamas. That he hasn’t taken off in three days. 

It’s 6 am and Noct is out of bed. He hasn’t slept since 2 am.

What is this guy’s sleep schedule.

Despite the careless and carefree attitude, Noct still worries. He still has to stay the most informed, as the prince, of the international and national situation, and it sometimes gets stressful.

When Noct sees numbers grow and a gloomy future, he gets stressed but won’t say it; that careless attitude is his way of coping. Like pretending it’s not true.

Noct worries about the poor, too, and the low and working class. He too came up with more ideas along with Regis to keep them safe too and not force them to work while the middle and upper classes stay indoors like it’s not the big deal.

Noct thinks a lot about Prompto. He knows he doesn’t need to go out too much, but he also knows how much of a terribly, horribly emotional distress Prom is in when staying at his house for too long.

Noct takes up on video-phoning Prom, everyday. His best boy can’t be sad, stressed, or messed up, and he’s going to keep him sane and cheer him up everyday. 

Noct may or may have not ended up inviting Prompto to spend quarentine at the Citadel with him. He hadn’t finished saying it when Prom was already at the Citadel’s door asking to be sanitized before going in.

If he got sick, everyone around him would be more scared than him LMAO

“OHNOTHEPRINCEISILLHE’SGOINGTODIEIAMNOTREADYFORTHISNOOOOOOOOO” 

Noct: so can I skip online school like this?

He’d be looked after with almost paranoia, there’s only two of the Lucis Caelum alive and honestly losing the heir and only one that can have kids at this point to the virus woulnd’t be very epic on history books

Noct IS worried, just pretending he’s not. 

Noct is going to avoid Regis LIKE A PRO. He’s going to ask to live somewhere else, will ask to sanitize his room and keep it locked, will ask that Regis gets nowhere near ANY of his belongings. Basically, Noct is going CRAZY over avoiding Regis...so Regis doesn’t catch it :’’( 

What a pure bean

Even if Regis tries visiting him, and even if the whole place is sanitized and like a little bubble away of the rest of the world, Noct will still not want him to come inside. 

Honestly, this is going to make Regis really, deeply sad and maybe even hurt. He wants to stay positive, but he keeps thinking of what if Noct dies to it, and not only dies, he’d also die without having held him for a last time or seen him.

They meet through the window. They phone each other and just touch through the closed window... :’) </3

Noct knows he may be over protecting Regis, but he’s honestly not going to have it any other way. He has way more than enough watching his old man grow old too fast from the Ring to run the risk of giving him this stupid virus. If he has to make his old man sad in order to keep him healthy, SO BE IT. 

Ignis

He’s fine.

He’s just so cool with this.

“Ah, of course. A plague. It was our turn, as was expected.”

...w...what are you talking about, Ignis.

He’s barely impressed. 

Master of following instructions, they told Ignis to stay home and THAT he did.

The store? The neighbor? Just an inch outside his main door? NO. THAT’S NOT INDOORS.

It’s not that he’s paranoid, he’s just not bothered by the idea fo not going out and he knows that the more he stays home the faster this will pass that he just. Stays in, sometimes not even looking out the window for a day or two.

Ignis still phones Noct each two days to remind him his room is messy do something because I won’t, or do nothing, the cockroaches will help you with the crumbs and leftovers in a day more.

Ignis isn’t bored. He still has home office and paperwork to do, the poor, young, miserable thing. 

In his spare time he likes doing stuff he likes, as he normally didn’t have the time to do. 

Ignis is making sure to call the other chocobros to make sure they’re ok. He’s particularly attentive to Prompto.

Boy is having video calls with Gladio because Best Friends. 

Ignis attempts to do as your raccoonie; will try to finish two-week worth of his paperwork in one or two days t o have the rest of the time free LMAO

(I hope, unlike me, he’s succeeding at that)

Ignis worries mostly about others and the outside Lucis. He takes up on the advantage of being bros with the prince to suggest something, that Noct can suggest to Regis to make it better for as many people as possible.

If he got sick, he’d attend hospital and not go out until he’s 100% okay AND spent 2 weeks with no fall back into it. 

He’d thank the doctors and nurses like every five minutes honestly. Iggy appreciates they’re doing such high risk job, keeps admiring them. Dammit.

He would accept no visits. Is it the prince? tell him to FUCK OFF. 

Mostly the throne family Ignis won’t dare visit even after he’s healed.

“IGNIS IT’S OK YOU’VE BEEN FINE FOR A MONTH”

“TALK TO ME WHEN QUARENTINE IS OVER AND/OR THERE IS A VACCINE, GET THE FUCK OFF MY FRONT YARD”

Ignis is not overly worried about the illness. He has stupidly strong defenses and can see himself getting out of this. He worries just what’s normal but keeps spirits up with all the numbers of healed cases.

Go Iggy! 

Gladio

Surprisingly, he’s taking this really well.

Gladio’s sort of more scared than the rest at the news; he was so prepared for physical enemies, the idea of an abstract, non-physical one suddenly sweeps him off his feet.

But he handles it well. So long he doesn’t watch the news.

Gladio won’t listen or read the news on the virus; he’s aware of it, he’ll take care and be careful, but he won’t read or hear numbers or updates, he’ll just live this out until it’s over.

Gladio takes his mind off it with indoor exercising, lots of it. 

Gladio’s job was mostly physical, so he takes on the advantage that he has nearly no chances of home office to do stuff he likes; mostly, this nerd will drown in history documentaries on KupoTube, will watch the equivalent of Disney and Dreamwork movies, will read like the world is ending, and will take up on online courses.

He likes crafts. Okay? Leave him alone and let him give his baby steps into watercolor painting. 

Gladio is video calling Noctis. To force him to exercise LMAO

“OY, NOCT, THIS IS PRE-RECORDED, DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT? COME BACK HERE TO YOUR COMPUTER OR IT’LL BE WORSE”

Gladio is holding back a Desperate-To-Go-Out Iris.

She’s not irresponsible, she just HATES INDOORS LET ME GO OUT IT’LL BE JUST AROUND THE BLOCK

Gladio’s not letting Jared go ANYWHERE

“SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU AND I DIE, YOU STAY HERE, I’LL GO BUY GROCERIES AND DON’T YOU DARE GET ANYWHERE NEAR ME AFTER I’M BACK UNTIL I’VE SHOWERED”

Gladdy it’s ok :’)

A bit paranoid when it comes to others, though will still be a bit paranoid about himself.

Gladio is mostly calm about it; just a few times every now and then he’s stressed and a bit too troubled for an easy sleep.

Video calls Iggy every day because Best Friends.

Iggy keeps him sane, the baby :’(

Honestly, Gladio also makes sure that Ignis is ok. Ignis is always looking after all other three, but Gladio is who’s most aware of looking after Ignis. Ignis won’t say it, but he’s probably feeling very lonely after a month indoors, as his family won’t pay much attention to him. Gladio’s making sure to keep him happy, distracted, and in good spirits, and in company.

If he got sick, he’d probably have a very bad emotional time at first.

Gladio would cry and think nearly for sure that he’s dead already.

Not like in drama, he would seriously get sad and be very, very scared :’(

Same than Noct, he wouldn’t let Clarus near him or any of his belongings, nor Jared. Not Iris either, of course, but he worries more for the older men.

Gladio would probably not do very well emotionally in hospital. He’d spend there the necessary time, but then he would probably like most to be in an apartment for himself if available or in his room without letting anyone near. 

Gladio will keep thinking of the chances to live or die, of how scary the idea of a virus with no cure is, will get really gloomy and negative on it.

His family try to provide emotional support, but every time they call Gladio just drowns himself in ideas like what their family would do if he died and it just makes him sadder

The doctors and Iggy are what keep his spirits up, to be honest.

The sadness lasts the first days. AFter that, Gladio’s going to handle the ilness like a DAMN WARRIOR

“YOU INJECT THAT THING, DOC, BRING IT ON”

A new treatment and the consequences are unsure? BRING IT ON.

Whatever it is, Gladio’s HEAD IN FOR IT

Baby boy just needed some time to process it. After that he’s just taking it so lightheartedly, even the doctors get cheered up at his bright attitude towards it.

“You’ve progressed on a 1%”

“HELL YEAH ONE PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!! :D”

What a beautiful boy omg

Prompto

This one is the chocobro that REALLY gets hit by quarentine.

Prompto’s not hyperactive, he can stay indoors if they ask him to...the problem is his house.

Prompto gets easily anxious staying at home for too long. He spent his childhood locked away in there, isolated. No parents, no friends, nothing. He stayed locked away in what was the toughest moments of his life. He doesn’t hate indoors, he hates indoors at his house. It brings all of that back.

Prompto’s trying to keep all the lights on to make it less like in his childhood; gets easily guilty remembering the huge debt the King put himself into so he doesn’t have to pay for electricity and now he’s wasting it. 

Prompto gets easily anxious around food nowadays. Remembers it was staying indoors doing but eat what got him so fat and lonely.

(Prommy it’s ok, fat is not bad :(( this poor angel )

Honestly Prompto’s so busy emotionally stressing over being indoors at his house that the pandemic in the world isn’t even super concerning, it’s just as if there was a storm outside; he knows it’s bad and that not everyone can stay safe from it, but he’s just worried in his own situation at home.

His parents get to stay indoors with him for home office, which is as good as it is bad.

For some reason it’s not so comforting because it makes Prompto think of how absent they used to me. For some reason, it also IS comforting because unlike his childhood, at least they’re there now.

Prompto tries to make the best out of this and tries bonding with them when they’re not busy.

It actually works <3 They don’t get overly emotional or anything but they get to spend some good time together, watch movies, talk more, etc.

It helps Prom with the food issue that Dad does the cooking this time.

Good as his parents are with him during quarentine, it’s home, like the physical place what keeps gnawing at his emotional health.

Prom is going to try EVERYTHING to keep himself distracted. 

Iggy phones him constantly, which helps a lot. Noct videocalls him everyday, which really keeps him up.

Prom is taking BUNCHES of online courses and classes, bECAUSE THIS BOY LOVES DOING AND LEARNING STUFF

Week 6 of quareantine, Prompto has made his own jacket out of kitchen towels. It’s...actually impressive.

If he got sick, he too would be paranoid.

More than sad, Prompto would be openly scared and nervous.

EXTRA

The chocobros as a Four:

They’re having online video parties and meetings.

The four got a pizza each. They’re video meeting, and pretending it’s the same pizza lol

“YOU ATE THE LAST SLICE HOW DARE YOU, I TOLD YOU I WANTED IT!!! >:’‘(”

The guys are showing their quarentine achievements to each other.

“Look, I’ve let my feet nails long because I don’t need shoes anymore and I shaped them like I’m a dragon haha”

“Oi look, I learned a new trick with my yo-yo”

“Look how GREASY my hair is right now haha. what do you mean if I’m attending the national interview later like this, of course I am”

The chocobros are sending each other online courses that they think the others or one of them will like

They’re having one of those online movie in different computers together. 

Also multiplayer games because they can.

Ignis wins every time. 

The chocobros are playing a 4-members Squad mode in Battle Royale games. Noct and Prom are okay. Ignis is the Pro. Gladio is the bait.

Iris:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cor: 

Cor is surprisingly calm about this.

Cor is spending his time meditating.

Cor has barely any paperwork, as his work is mostly physical, so he gets a lot of time free with Regis’ politics for a proper literally-no-need-to-go-out politics. Meditation that is.

Cor is phoning Prompto each now and then, too. 

Prompto would answer happily that he’s fine and with no virus. Cor finally once tells him he’s not asking if he’s ok about the virus. Prom needed no more explanation and just said he was ok, if a little sad.

Cor is working out at home.

Cor is getting bored.

Cor is reading, watching series, or meditating, or cooking just for the sake of it.

Cor just has one problem.  He’s a workaholic. You give him no work, this man starts slowly having a meltdown and descent into the abyss of madness. He needs to die of stress, how else do you expect him to live?

The first weeks were fine. After the first few weeks Cor starts getting anxious about needing work to do.

Cor you stupid thing 

Cor is starting to get distracted in meditation because he keeps getting anxious about working in something.

Cor starts phoning Regis.

“Do you have any paperwork for me now?”

This is every two days. 

Regis COULD have given him something. Regis doesn’t. Cor needs to learn to know how to be AT PEACE FOR FUCKING ONCE.

Cor is making paperwork up to work on lol

Cor was diagnosed with the virus. They put the virus in quarentine for its safety. 

[naehja]

ace attorney

1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? Well I love them all. I love AA2 a little less that the others.

So

1)  AA3/DD

2) AA1/AJ/Spirit of Justice

3) AA2/ PL vs PE (more because I was never able to finish it)

2. Favourite case? Hum It’s hard to choose. In AA1? Rise of Ashes + Whe we defend Miles. aa2? Circus case. AA3? All of them. AJ? The last case. AA5? Every case of the game. AA6? Hum...I says that one where Trucy is accused. 

3. Favourite defendant? 1) Will Power 2) Athena and Simon  3)  MAAAYYYYYAAA (please can you stop to be accused one time by game? thank) 4) Trucy 5) Ron Delite 6) Iris 7) Feenie

4. Favourite prosecutor? 1) Miles 2) Simon 3) Franziska 4) Klavier

5. Favourite ship? NaruMisu  (Asouryuu for DGS)

6. Favourite victim?  Mia Fey - Misty Fey (can you please STOP killing maya’s family? thank)

Also 

Clay

7. Favourite murderer? Grant (he scared me first time i played). 

The Murderer in the Circus case was great too but it was so freaking SAD.

Kristoph was scary in his own ways. A vilain who hads never explained his reasons. A vilain who has killed, manipuled, abused and a lot of other thing and never explained WHY.

Good vilain.

I hate him so much.

8. Favourite assistant? ALL OF THEM

9. Favourite witness? Olbag, and Larry

(also the parrot)

10. Favourite quote? “Almost Christmas meaning that it was still not Christmas” and the “udapted auptosie report”

YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…?

11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? Justice for All, I love the Circus case but it’s the only case that I love in this game. I admit that the first one was terrible and that the tutorial one is hilarous but....the last was....I didn’t like it.

12. Least favourite case? Farewell, My Turnabout

13. Least favourite defendant?

It would be nice if Maya was not a defendant anymore. Maya, stop being accused of murder dammit!

Seriously Matt Engarde.

14. Least favourite prosecutor? GODOT!!! Payne is the tutorial prosecutor so we forgive his bad sides but Godot? 

SAYING THAT MIA DEATH IS PHOENIX’S FAULT AND THAT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE FOR PROTECT HER?

DOING NOTHING WHEN HE KNEW THE PLAN AND KILLING MISTY IN FRONT OF MAYA, ADMITTING THAT HE KILLED MISTY EVEN IF MISTY COULD HAVE RESISTED TO DAHLIA’S SPIRIT OR THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN PEARL?

Yuta comes in place 2, because he has triggered Athena’s trauma IN PURPOSE for trigger a breakdown and that was not cool.

Payne is the place 3 but he’s the tutorial and he’s cursed since 100 years to never be able to beat a nuruhodo (phoenix’s family) XD

15. Least favourite ship? KristophxPhoenix or DalhiaxPhoenix

16. Least favourite victim? The guy from Mia first trial. Terry Fawles. Also the Attorney who has been killed by Yogi in A-3.

17. Least favourite murderer? Hu....How was his name...the detective in AA3? Atmey (even if his plan was freaking clever)   ? Also the murderer in AA1-1 (boring). 

Yogi was boring too, until he finally stopped act like a idiot and assume his reponsabilities.

But the FIRST? THE ONE THAT I HATE THE MOST?

DALHIA!!!

I HATE HER SO MUCH.

18. Least favourite assistant? I love everyone of them.

19. Least favourite witness? Haha...Generally they are great. But I’ll say the Orca XD (a least the parrot could talk)

20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? The Bad ending in AA2

The panties thief too

DO YOU PREFER…?

21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? Phoenix

22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright?  

*softly* how dare you make me choose?

Monster!

23. Investigations or trials? BOTH. Well except if Payne is the prosecutor. I rather investigate that dealing with him.

24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? Feenie or Hobo? Both are awesome. The first is adorable dumbass in love, the other is so sassy and depressed. I love them both.

25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? Klavier.

Kristoph can burn in Hell with Dalhia and Manfred.

26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? Sadely I never played investigations =(, so Ace Attorney

27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama or Athena’s Mood Matrix? ALL OF THEM

28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies?ALL OF THEM

29. 3D models or sprites? 3D are nice, but the remake in HD are great too

30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? BOTH! Her relation with her sister for the first, and his sassy mode in AJ. 

MISCELLANEOUS

31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?  I’m happy that he stopped to be a depressed hobo in DD. He breaks my heart in AJ.

32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? I WANT TO PLAY TT

33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? Maybe it will happen in 2021 for DGS 1 and 2, the rumors seems more accurate this time. (see the news about the hack of Capcom)

34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? YES YES YES A new Investigation with Phoenix, Franziska, Trucy, but then Athena, Fay and Klavier would follow Edegeworth too (he can’t have holiday with his husband, daugther and sister, right?)

A spin-off with Apollo would be nice too but with no Trucy, No Athena, no Klavier?

I would  pass.

Or maybe spin-off with Mia; with Phoenix as student/co-council but without Maya or Miles then

so I would pass too.

35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? It’s nice =) Some characters have a awesome theme XD

36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? I think that getting Apollo out of the story was a mistake TT

37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction?

38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction?

39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? YES!! YES!! Imagine Alfendi as inspector of the case XD

40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? We have one. It's super cool =) and there are fillers about baby Miles, Larry and Phoenix. Nick literally wrote a love letter diffused to radio to Miles XD And the whole cas with Iris? AWESOME!!

41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? They are cool =)

42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutors role? If Phoenix is the adversaire, we couldn't win XD (welcome in Miles hell guys) Also it would mean all our clients would be guilty right?

43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? YES!! It's just a shame that you have to pay “so mcuh” for them when you already pay the game. But Phoenix defending a orca? Phoenix speak wedding with Miles? TAKE MY MONEY!!!

44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? Sad. Very sad. Now it would be great if she could talk to her kids. Phoenix is nice to respect her will but both Apollo and Trucy deserve to know.

45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? More Athena, More NaruMitsu. AND APOLLO BETTER TO RETURN!!

46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? Why not do a movie with Rise of Ashes? =) Or a New Storyline But the story better to be cool.

47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? Like the anime we already had. The live-action wasn't so cool, compared to the anime.

48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) Hum. Professor Layton again. OR a time travel crossover with the Great Ace Attorney. OR Detective Conan.

49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) Olbag is a gift!!! Larry is a treasure!! Lotta is funny =)

50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? OMG YES YES 1000X YES. I mean have you seen Athena trauma?

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.

Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.

----

Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.

anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that

everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic

everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time

this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash

"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""

"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"

aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh

"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"

"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"

mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk

all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"

and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds

pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn

aizawa  helps him up off the floor

"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"

mic "youre amazing"

aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering

aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments

consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 

this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course

so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement

"he might actually do it!"

"who might do what"

allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa

"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"

and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot

hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"

he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"

like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"

allmight just nods sagely

"young midoriya be like that sometimes"

pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child

for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s

also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy

aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room

"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"

and like everyone is so lost no one questions it

bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him

please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly

monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line

during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"

and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box

all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet

"im quirkless you nonce"

"oh,,,"

"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"

"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"

"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"

"wait what"

izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa

you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"

"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"

mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"

there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”

please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"

aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"

he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it

soup cryptid

please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is

“haha he’s just being friendlyL

“aizawa i literally want to marry u”

“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”

in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly

and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks

also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong

izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk

stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"

",,, where are your parents"

"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"

izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes

tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her

bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train

and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like

"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"

everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk

hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"

they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there

aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."

“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”

“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”

“my boy,,,,,l

"what, ochako lives alone!"

"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"

aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now

allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"

"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  

mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing

afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O

for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother

consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that

if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things

tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel

inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables

just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots

the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch

izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"

hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"

izuku just looks stary eyed

"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"

"deku wtf"

"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"

“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”

"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"

mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that

so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him

1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously

and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet

aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale

okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it

,,,,,c

cook?

izuku just has a totally blank face

"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"

"raw."

"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”

"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"

"it wont kill me though"

"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."

“but vegetable??? good????”

"kid do you even fucking like any of this"

"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"

yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying

aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”

izuku: *surprized pikachu face*

please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"

oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice

also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"

bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"

aizawa "WAIT WHAT"

whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔

izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"

and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"

",,,"

"thats what you taught us sensei!"

"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"

"and?"

"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"

"i can put some back if you want?"

"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"

[wkemeup]

The Witness (6)

series summary: After witnessing a Hydra hit and the handsome, borderline endearing cop who had become a regular at your bar takes it upon himself to ensure your safety off the books, you learn to rely on someone else for a change and find you don’t mind it at all. Not when it’s him.

pairing: detective!bucky x reader

word count: 7.2k

warnings: descriptions of violence, angst angst angst SMUT (18+) 

author’s note: thats right! update two days in a row! couldn’t leave you guys hanging too bad 😅I love seeing your comments so pls let me know what you think!

series masterlist // previous chapter

Bucky dove behind the police car, shielding his body from the spray of bullets lodging in his direction. He curled against the tire, wrapping his hands over his head as he shot a glance at Sam who was groaning on the pavement next to him, having just thrown his whole body up and over the trunk of the car. Bucky knelt on his knees, trying to get a better look at his partner to assess for damage.

“You okay, Wilson?” Bucky shouted over the gunfire, ducking down when the whiz of a bullet flew by his ear. Sam groaned but he rolled onto his side, yanking his handgun from his holster.

“Where the hell is our backup?!” He shouted as he jumped up and fired three shots over the trunk of the car before dropping back to the ground, back pressed against the frame.

“It’s been three hours, man. They ain’t comin’,” Bucky grunted. He looked down at his wrist for the fifth time in as many minutes. It was coming on eleven, and he should have been to your bar two hours ago to relieve Parker. Bucky clenched his jaw.

“She’ll be fine, Barnes,” Sam repeated, having said it at least ten times so far, eyeing the way Bucky couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off his watch. “Parker won’t leave just because you don’t show up.”

Bucky nodded. He gave the kid a lot of crap, but he knew you’d be safe with him. Plus, he was pretty sure Parker had a bit of a crush on you anyway. He might enjoy the extra time. Though, he hoped you wouldn’t be upset with him for failing to tell you or Parker that he wouldn’t make it tonight. He and Sam were too far out of range for Peter’s walkie to pick it up and with the heavy rain of gunfire, a quick call or text wasn’t an option.

It was supposed to be a simple in and out.

One guy; an old hydra affiant who had supposedly been out of the game for years. Sam had got word from one of his informants that he might have some information on the gunman from the alley, could possibly even identify you as the witness. Bucky couldn’t take the chance he was bluffing, so he grabbed Sam and went to have a ‘conversation’ with the man that led to a shootout in the middle of the street.

Nothing was ever easy with Hydra.

Four men were currently firing from inside the house, using windows for leverage and ducking behind the walls. Bucky and Sam had yet to get a decent shot in, though Bucky’s shoulder got grazed pretty early on. Dispatch wasn’t coming through, so Hydra must have figured out a way to jam the reception. The only message he had time to call in was to Steve, telling him they’d arrived at the house. No one knew they’d been held up in a rain of bullets since.

It went on for hours. Long past midnight and Bucky had stopped checking his watch.

Sam was in the middle of another round of shots when his gun stopped firing. He was out. The pause it took him to realize was too long before a bullet dove itself through his arm.

“Shit!” he cursed, grabbed onto his bicep as he slumped down to the ground. Blood oozed through his fingers. Bucky reached out and hastily ripped a section of his shirt and wrapped it around his partner’s arm, pulling tightly as he tied it, causing Sam to wince.

“Don’t fucking move,” Bucky ordered. The gunfire had ceased in the meantime. Bucky slowly laid down on the pavement, ignoring the look Sam was throwing at him, and kicked up at the side view mirror with all of his strength. It popped loose and jutted into the air before falling back into Bucky’s lap. With a triumphant grin, he readjusted until he was seated with his back on the car again.  

“What the hell are you doing, Macgyver?”

“Watch and learn, asshole,” Bucky grinned, holding the mirror up above the car. Through the reflection, he spotted a shimmer of light in the top right window. “Gotcha.”

Bucky sprang to his feet and fired a single shot where the glare had been. A hand slumped over the window pane.

“Goddamn,” Sam laughed, shaking his head. Bucky bent down to take cover again as the firing resumed. “I can’t believe that worked.”

“You should learn to trust me, partner,” Bucky taunted and Sam rolled his eyes in such a way it was probably painful. Bucky held up the mirror again and proceeded to take out another two of the men. Only one remained.

“On your left!” Sam shouted, but he wasn’t fast enough before Bucky was kicked hard in his shoulder, causing his gun to slide out of his grasp and a few feet away. He slumped onto the pavement with a groan.

“Come on, pig!” The man jeered, holding his fists up as he nudging Bucky with the side of his foot. “Get up!”

“You sure you don’t want to fight my partner? He’s a lot easier of a hit than I am,” Bucky grumbled, throwing a teasing look in Sam’s direction as he stood. Sam narrowed his eyes in annoyance just as Bucky winked. He took the moment of surprise and sent a fist barreling into the man’s jawline.

His hand stung as he pulled it back. This guy was no joke. Standing at least a half foot taller than Bucky and with the kind of look in his eyes that said he wasn’t going down easy. He came at Bucky with a roar and Bucky ducked his jab. When the fist came at him again, Bucky wasn’t quick enough, and it collided hard against his cheek bone before the other barreled into his ribs. Blood pooled in his mouth as he bit down on his tongue.

“Shit, Barnes! Step it up!” Sam shouted from the sideline.

“Shut the fuck up, Wilson!”

Bucky spit a glob of blood onto the ground and ignore Sam’s gag of disgust. Bucky managed to get another swing in at the man’s cheekbone before he kicked Bucky hard in the stomach. He stumbled back a few paces, grabbing onto the edge of the car for support. Sam narrowed his eyes, urging him on and Bucky groaned.

The man charged again and this time, Bucky went for his knees. This guy clearly spent too much time on arm day and ignored his lower body, and it gave Bucky the perfect target. A solid kick to the man’s knees and he lets out a shout in pain and dropped down. Bucky ran up behind him, snaking an arm around the man’s neck and yanking hard, squeezing as the man clawed at his arms. He dodged the man’s swings up at his face and he continued to squeeze.

Then, the man slumped, dead weight in Bucky’s arms and he dropped him to the floor.

“Fuck,” Bucky exhaled, panting hard as he wiped the trail of blood from his cheek.

“You kill him?” Sam asked quizzically, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

Bucky shot him a glare. “He’s just unconscious. Need one of these assholes to talk, don’t we?”

Sam studied the man lying on the ground before he eventually shrugged. “I guess.”

Bucky reached down and dragged the man’s arms behind his back, cuffing him to be safe. With all of his strength, he dragged him over to the police car and shoved him in the back seat. It took almost as much exertion as knocking the man out. Once the man was locked in the back, Sam was in the front seat, messing with the radio to try to get it back online.  

“I’ll try and call Steve,” Bucky suggested, reaching for his phone in his back pocket. When he pulled it out, his screen was illuminated with dozens of notifications. “What the-“

Hey Detective Barnes, it’s Peter. It’s 9:15 and you’re not here yet. Just checking in. Miss Y/l/n is in a weird mood...

Hey Detective B. Peter again. It’s 9:30 and I’m getting nervous. Y/n is drinking… should I be worried?

It’s 10:00 and I haven’t heard anything…

I’m freaking out a little here...

Bucky scrolled through the dozens of text messages, small ones in between where Parker asked for an update, where he was at, telling him what number drink you were on. Bucky’s heart was racing faster than it was when the bullets were firing in his direction.

Then, he landed on the final text.

Hey Dt. B. It’s 10:30. I just got dispatched on a 273D and I’m the only backup in the area. I have to go. No choice. I can’t get ahold of anyone else. I’m so sorry. Y/n said she’s alright until you get here. Please come soon.

Bucky didn’t even have a chance for the wave of panic to pass through him before he finally noticed the small, red notification in the bottom corner of the screen.

A voicemail.

From an unknown number.

You.  

Twenty-seven minutes ago.

“Shit!”

Bucky ran to the passenger side of the car, sliding over the hood of the car and nearly losing his balance as he scrambled to open the door. He threw himself inside the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Sam was giving him a curious look from the driver’s seat as Bucky’s hands were starting to shake.

“Drive,” Bucky could barely get the word out.

“Dude, are you-“

“Y/n called. T-There’s a voicemail. Twenty-seven minutes,” Bucky rasped, the fear so evident in his voice that Sam immediately dropped the wires in the radio and pulled the door shut. The car roared to life as he shifted it into gear.

“Well, listen to it!” Sam demanded as he slammed on the gas and pulled the car out onto the street. Out on the main road, they were weaving in and out of traffic, the siren wailing in Bucky’s ear through the open window shattered in the crossfire.

Bucky nodded, more unnerved than he had been in his life as the momentum of Sam’s driving shoved his body against the door. His hand was shaking, but he was able to press down on your message. It set it to speaker.

The automated voice announced he had one new message at 2:14am.

Then,

“B-Bucky, please,” your voice echoed through the speaker and Bucky clamped a hand over his mouth to keep himself from screaming. “I need you to answer. P-Please, Buck. Shit. He was here. He was just here!”

“Who’s ‘he’?” Sam interrupted, but Bucky shook his head frantically. He didn’t know.

“Please, I need you,” your voice cried, and Bucky felt a pang so violent in his chest he was sure it would give out. “C-Call me back. I’m -- fuck-- I’m scared. Please. I don’t know what to do. No one’s-- no one’s here. It’s just me. Bucky, please. You promised you’d answer. You promised.”

The message ended and Bucky could barely keep it together. He clenched the phone in his hand, Sam watching him nervously from the corner of his eye as he drove, and Bucky let out a scream that tore through his vocal cords enough to burn them raw.

He was panting, lightheaded, by the time he clenched his jaw again. The siren and rips of wind through the broken windows the only sound breaking the otherwise tense silence.

“I’m sure she’s still at the bar,” Sam offered hesitantly. “She said ‘he was here.’ As in no longer-“

“Just fucking drive!” Bucky bellowed, left hand gesturing aggressively towards the road as the right anxiously swept his hair from his eyes. Abruptly, he slammed his hands against the dashboard. “Fuck! Fucking hell! This is all my fault. Goddamnit!”

Sam stole a glance in Bucky’s direction as he took a sharp right turn. “You don’t know what happened yet. She could be fi-”

“What if she’s not there?” Bucky sounded years younger. The fear laced in his words enough to startle his partner. It was unlike him. Sam hasn’t seen him shaken like this since – ever. He slumped down into the chair, hands clenching at the fabric of his pants, searching for grounding. “God, what if she’s-“

“Shut up,” Sam snapped, slamming on the horn when the car in front of them didn’t move fast enough. “Stop making assumptions. We’ll get to the bar and go from there, you hear me?”

Bucky nodded, though it didn’t ease the dryness in his mouth or the racing throbbing of his heart. As Sam drove, Bucky tried to call your number back but you didn’t answer. He’d catch the first word of your answering machine, hang up, and call again. It was no use.

The car skidded in front of your bar with a piercing screech and Bucky was out the door before Sam could even put the car in park. He barreled through the front door, shoving his shoulder against the frame, only to find it unlocked as it tore open easily.

“Y/n!” he shouted, the crack in his voice unnoticed as he desperately scanned the empty room. “Y/n! Please! Answer me!”

Gun in his hand, only less than a handful of bullets left in the chamber, Bucky raced behind the bar. He dunked underneath but you were nowhere to be seen.

Sam raced in behind him. “Where is she?”  

“I don’t--” Bucky was shaking his head, trembling hands running through his hair as he tried to catch his breath. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Sam said calmly, slowly lowering his hand as if easing on a break. “I’ll check the closet. Go to the back office.”

Bucky nodded, feeling slightly relieved at the direction. He jogged back to the office and jiggled the handle, only to find it locked. Bucky narrowed his eyes.

“Doll?” he called. No response. “If you’re in there, move away from the door.”

Again, nothing.

He waited ten agonizingly long seconds as Sam regrouped behind him having found nothing in the closet and kicked the door with all of his strength. It swung open and slammed forcefully against the adjacent wall with a loud BANG. Bucky stumbled into the room, eyes scanning frantically when he felt Sam’s lay carefully upon his shoulder.

He looked up at Sam inquisitively before he followed his partner’s gaze to the glimpse of a shoe hidden behind the desk. Bucky inhaled a quivering breath as Sam nodded and stepped back towards the door to give his partner space. Slowly, Bucky walked towards you, view still obstructed by the desk. The floor creaked under his shoes and he winced at every sound.

He came up to the side of the desk and he took in a sharp intake of air. Careful not to startle you, he lowered himself to his knees. You sat with your back against the wall, clutching a thin, small, paper card in your hand as your phone sat on the ground next to you, dozens of missed calls illuminated on the screen. Your eyes were staring off far beyond Bucky’s shoulder, almost like you were in a daze.

“Y/n?”

You didn’t respond. Bucky swallowed, quaking as he reached out gather one of your hands in his own. He clasped it gently, both hands surrounding it as he rubbed small circles on the skin. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. Tears welled in his eyes. You didn’t react in the slightest.

“Doll, look at me,” he pleaded, his voice breaking. “Please.”

A flicker of realization and gradually, your eyes trailed over to his. Bucky clenched his jaw, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

“Bucky?”

Your voice never sounded so sweet as it did in that moment. He let out a heavy exhale and nodded feverishly, pressing another kiss to your hand.

“Yeah, doll, I’m here.”

You paused, furrowing your brow. You reached out towards him with your free hand, brushing impossibly soft traces along the side of his cheek, just under the busted skin and along the bruising forming along his jaw.

“Your face,” you exhaled, concern replacing the numbed expression you wore. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing. Nothing, sweetheart, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” Bucky quickly replied, reaching for your hand laying upon his neck and bringing it back to his lap. He took a deep breath. “Are you okay? What- what happened?”

Your gaze fell to the floor and you pulled your hand from his, wrapping your arms tighter around your knees. “You didn’t answer.”

Bucky’s heart dropped.

“You said you would answer if I called, and- and you didn’t pick up.” Tears brimmed in your eyes and you moved to tuck your face behind your knees. You shuddered as the sob crawled its way up your back and Bucky was certain he’d never feel worse than he did in that moment.

“Shit, I know, doll, I know,” Bucky whispered as you let out cry that cut right through him. Guilt filled and racked in his chest as he reached towards you and pulled you into his arms. You came willingly, hands clenching at his shirt, tears dampening the fabric the tighter he held you. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

Lips pressed to the crown of your head, Bucky murmured apologizes again and again until you cried what was left in you, until nothing else would come out and your throat had gone dry. He rocked you back and forth, brushing away the tears in his own eyes with the end of his sleeve.

What felt like hours later by the time you settled down again, Bucky was humming softly, fingers trailing through your hair and rubbing patterns in your back. You sighed and Bucky could feel the gentle movement of your body against his. He pulled back, only enough to see your face. Tracks of tears ran down your cheeks, glistening in the dim light. Tentatively, Bucky reached out and brushed the wetness from your face with the edge of his thumb. You sniffled, and tucked your head back into the crook of his neck. Your breath warm on his skin.

“His name is Brock Rumlow.”

Bucky closed his eyes as he exhaled. He knew Rumlow. Nothing more than a thug by his standard, but a high-level hitman for Hydra nonetheless. He had been charged with at least seven murders in the last year, none able to stick when evidence would turn up missing or he’d have an overly convenient alibi he didn’t have the night before lock up.

He wasn’t the guy making the decisions. He was the enforcer.

“He doesn’t know I’m the witness,” you continued before Bucky could say anything.

“You’re sure?”

“I don’t think he would have let me live if he did,” you said calmly, too calm for the words that left a shattering ache in Bucky’s chest. A shiver crept over your skin and Bucky held you tighter. He was sure he’d never let go again.

***

You wanted to hate Bucky. You wished you could despise him for leaving you to face Rumlow on your own, for failing to answer when you called after he promised he would, for making it so incredibly hard to feel anything other than singular, overwhelming relief upon seeing his face.

He didn’t let his touch fall away from you for even a second since he found you curled up under the desk in your back office. Not when he helped you back to your feet, half carrying you out towards the bar. Not when you noticed Sam leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest as he waited patiently for you to emerge. Not even when you reached out to hug him and Bucky’s hand stayed in contact with your shoulder, exchanging an unreadable glance with his partner.

Sam had left to take the Hydra affiant they had been caught up in taking down back to the station before you even knew the difference. He was still bleeding through the thin bandage of Bucky’s ripped shirt wrapped around his arm. Sam noticed your stare and waved you off, telling you it was a ‘battle wound for the ladies’ but you still found yourself searching for Bucky’s hand when a pang of guilt swarmed in your chest. His fingers intertwined with yours easily and you could feel his thumb gently running back and forth in hopes to sooth you.

He didn’t let go when you crawled into the back of the police car and were surprised to find Bucky sliding in beside you as Sam jogged around to the front.

On the drive to your apartment, Sam told you where they had been all night, why Bucky couldn’t have possibly been able to hear the phone ring over the rain of gunfire, and how desolate he had become when he realized what happened. Bucky had his jaw clenched as Sam spoke, staring out the window, and you found yourself squeezing his hand to draw his attention back to you, though it proved futile. His kept his stare on the blurring lights as they drove past.

Sam pulled up to the stoop of your apartment and shifted the car into park. He glanced back over his shoulder at Bucky. “You need any help?”

Bucky shook his head and Sam hulled himself out of the car to unlock the door for you. The cool air hit you harder than you anticipated as the door pulled open and you shivered, pausing a moment as you looked up at your front door. Bucky nudged you carefully with a whisper in your ear to ‘go on, doll. I’m right behind you.’

Standing on the sidewalk, you felt incredibly exposed and found yourself leaning into Bucky when he pulled himself out of the car behind you. Bucky reached out, shaking Sam’s hand firmly, before Sam slid back into the car without another word.

“My keys,” you realized, feeling for your back pocket to find it empty, “they’re at the bar.”

“I have mine,” Bucky eased. “Sam’s going back to the bar to close it up for you and he’ll grab them.”

You nodded, watching as Bucky pulled a ring of keys from his pocket. There were five on it. He must have seen you eyeing it because he added, “yours, mine, and my locker down at the station.”

Trying to push aside the weak feeling in your stomach, you let him gently pull you towards the door, hands still intertwined. He fumbled with the first key as he shoved it into the lock on the front door. You slipped your hand from his to give him more leverage to work at the lock and missed the warmth of it immediately. He didn’t waste a second in grabbing your hand again once he shimmied the door open.

He switched to the second key and undid the locks to your apartment door, twisting smoother this time since Bucky had replaced the locks nearly a month prior. The door pushed open and he gestured for you to walk inside. His hand fell away as you worked to shrug off your jacket and kick off your shoes. Bucky twisted the deadbolt and slipped the chain over the frame of the door into place.

You walked further into the apartment; arms folded over your chest. You turned slowly.

“You won’t-” you took a deep breath, desperate to avoid his eyes. “You won’t leave, will you?”

“Of course not,” he replied quickly, like it was the easiest thing he’d ever said. He shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Even if you asked me to, I’d probably sit outside your apartment door all night. I can’t imagine leaving you after what happened.”

You nodded, finding yourself growing used to the way your heart never seemed to settle around him. As Bucky started to pull off his jacket, wincing somewhat as he did so, you started to retreat back to your room. You rummaged through your drawers until you found an old t-shirt and baggy sweatpants big enough to fit Bucky. They looked a little large, but it would beat sleeping in slacks and a half-ripped button down.

“Here,” you offered, holding out the clothes for Bucky. He eyed them, a flash of hurt lingering behind his stare as he took them from you.

“Old boyfriend’s?”

You shook your head, almost amused at the question. “A friend’s brother left them behind a few months ago when they came to visit the city. I don’t really... do boyfriends.”

Bucky smiled at that, nodding in thanks as he gripped the clothes at his side. He glanced over at the living room. “I’ll go ahead and take the couch, if that works for you?”

“Sure,” you nodded, trying not to sound as disappointed as you felt. “I’m going to go change and I’ll grab you some sheets.”

You shuffled off to your room and closed the door behind you with an anxious exhale. Quickly, you changed into a cotton short-sleeve shirt bearing the name of the nowhere town you had visited with your father in the week before he was imprisoned and a pair of sleep shorts. You gathered several blankets from the closet, unsure if Bucky ran cold or warm at night, and made your way back out to the living room.

Bucky was sitting on the couch, his slacks hung over the chair in the kitchen as he discarded his shirt directly into the garbage. He was breathing heavier than usual as he tried to pull the t-shirt you had given him over his head, but slumped his arms back to his sides with a pained groan before he could pull it on.

That was when you noticed the deep red gash along his outer edge of his arm. You gasped, and Bucky winced at the sound, having not realized you were watching him.

“You were shot?” you stammered, eyes wide as you rushed towards him and sat next to him on the couch, body facing his as one leg tucked under you.

Bucky shook his head, trying to pry your hands away as you reached to touch him. “It’s just a graze, doll. I’m fine.”

You bit down hard on your lip as your eyes trailed down his exposed torso. Markings of purple and blue littered upon his skin in parallel to the bruising upon his face. Fingertips reached out and brushed against the colored skin, goosebumps trailing in the wake. He shivered.

“Jesus, Buck,” you exhaled. You pulled your hand away, tucking it in your lap. He had already managed to find your first aid kit as it sat on the coffee table next to you. You reached for the disinfectant and started to unscrew the cap.

“You don’t gotta do that, Y/n/n. I can get it myself,” Bucky sighed, though he made no movement to stop you. You brushed the gel onto the edge of a cotton swap and raised it to his arm. You rested your wrist on his forearm, eyes glancing at him for permission before you went further. Bucky nodded and you began to brush the gel along the wound.

You tried to ignore the groans he let out and the way his hand curled into a fist as you worked. You moved quickly, covering the wound, and pulled back.

“I’m not a doctor, but I don’t think you’ll need stitches,” you said, setting the swab on a tissue and began unpacking a bandage. You pulled away the papers from the adhesive and slowly pressed it against his arm. His hand came up suddenly and he held it against yours, pressing against the bandage.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his hand curling under yours and gripping your fingers. He let it drop away just as fast. “You shouldn’t have to be taking care of me. Not after what I did.”

You swallowed, watching as Bucky’s eyes fell to the ground. You reached up, letting your elbow set gently against his shoulder as you ran your fingers through his hair. The tension in his muscles slowly started to relax and he closed his eyes, leaning into the touch.

“If there was any excuse to not answer that goddamn phone of yours, it was this,” you said sincerely. “Besides, I’m okay.”

“Are you?” Bucky countered, turning to face you and you pulled your hand away. “You never actually told me what happened.”

“He just asked me whether I knew anything about Charlie. Ordered a drink. I had to, uhm,” you brushed your hair behind your ear, nervously, “flirt with him to draw suspicion from myself,” you said, shivering at the memory and subverting your gaze from his. Bucky’s eyes narrowed and you saw a subtle movement in his jaw line where he clenched the muscle. “I can still feel his grimy hands on my-”

“He touched you?” Bucky gaped and you shook your head.

“Not like you’re thinking,” you clarified quickly, though it didn’t seem to ease him at all. “He just... The way he was looking at me, I knew if I could subvert his attention elsewhere, he’d leave. Men like that, they don’t put much stock in women they’d rather fuck. But... God, Buck, I swear it's like I can still feel him.”

Bucky was gripping at his thigh so tight were sure his nails would dig through the sweatpants and break skin. He couldn’t look at you, his breathing picking up in pace as he shook his head back and forth, subtly, like he was talking to himself. You reached out to sooth him but he flinched away.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I should’ve been there,” Bucky said, standing to his feet and pulling away from your outstretched hands. He started pacing back and forth down the walkway between the kitchen and the living room, hands raking through his tussled hair.

You scurried up from the couch, standing off to the side as you watched him. “Bucky, it’s not your fault. You were being shot at for God’s sake.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he argued, his bare chest rising and falling at a near rapid pace. The colors of bruising upon his skin palpable in the dim lighting. “You should have never been alone. And Parker-”

“It’s not Peter’s fault either and you know that,” you snapped, though he didn’t let up.

“This could have been so much worse! Don’t you get that?” Bucky lashed out, throwing his arms out to the side and wincing at the effort. He planted his feet. “Rumlow could have found out who you are and he could have –,” he shook his head unable to finish the sentence. “I could have lost you and I can’t-- I won’t let that happen. How can you stand there and- and tell me it’s not my fault when I failed do the one goddamn thing I swore I would do? How can you even look at me? How can you possibly trust me again?”

You had crossed the hall before he had finished speaking and suddenly you were standing inches away. The heat of his heavy breaths warming your skin as you ran a gentle hand up along his stomach muscles, careful to avoid the bruising, tracing up along his chest until you let it settle against his neck, cupping the side of his face.

“Look at me and believe me when I say this,” you urged, your other hand reaching up to hold the other side of his face and drawing his attention to you. Blue eyes boring into yours. “You have not lost me. I am right here, Bucky, and I trust you with my life.”

“But-”

“No,” you retorted. “No exceptions. Tonight was a nightmare of bad timing and no one’s fault but the Hydra assholes that got us into this mess.”

Bucky swallowed and you could feel his muscles contracting under your palms. You readjusted your hands, sweeping your right over his forehead to push his hair from his eyes, before settling against on his jawline.

“You’ve done more for me than anyone else ever has. You’ve been so incredibly selfless and kind through all of this. Somehow, I can’t even remember what my life was like before you and I… I don’t want to,” you confessed and Bucky took in a sharp inhale, wide eyes flashing to yours. You sighed, running your thumb soothingly along his cheekbone, just under the swollen wound. “One missed call isn’t going to change that.”

A pause of silence as Bucky contemplated your words. He took a deep breath, sad eyes staring down at you, though he tried his best to force out a smile.

“You forgive too easy, doll.”

You shrugged, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Only when it’s you.”

Your gaze flickered down to his lips; parted slightly as he exhaled, his tongue tracing over the crack in the skin. He was watching you so tenderly, a semblance of awe and disbelief colored in the shades of blue. Impossibly slow, you leaned forward, your nose brushing his. A gasp escaped you as he snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. He groaned slightly, loosening his grip on you for only a moment, adjusting to favor the bruising on his ribs.

He nipped at your lips, hesitant, burning with anticipation; so quick that he did it again before you could ache for more. He paused, lips touching yours ever so slightly, breathing against one another until you grew too inpatient and compelled yourself closer. Your lips meld into his, pulling and sucking sweetly against his mouth.

Bucky let out a moan that sent a shiver down your spine as he stumbled back against the wall, hitting it with a thud. Strong, rough hands ran under your thighs and he tugged, urging you to help give him leverage he needed. You jumped up, hooking your legs behind his waist and he spun you around, holding you up against the wall to offset your weight, his hands held firmly on the curve of your thighs.

He kissed you hungrily, like he has been waiting for years, unable to get enough as he sucked on your lower lip, drawing a whimper from you. Your hands raked through his hair and along his shoulders. There was too much of him you hadn’t touched, needed to touch. You needed him closer, as close as two people could be. This wasn’t enough. You needed more.

His tongue ran over your lip and you parted your lips further, grinding down against him as his tongue brushed yours and he flinched at the sensation, squeezing at your thighs. When you were breathless, you moved from his lips to pepper kisses along the blue marks of his jawline, over the shadow of hairs of his beard, down his neck, to the sweet spot near his collar bone that made him shiver. As you nipped at him, he pulled you away from the wall and carried you down the hall to your bedroom.

He laid you down on the top of your comforter carefully, a soft smile on his swollen lips as he brushed the hair from your eyes. It was a soft, tender moment; finding yourself lost in the warm blue of his eyes.

Then, Bucky crawled over you and settled on the bed beside you as you grasped him by the side of his face and brought him back to your lips, unable to stand another second not touching him. Laying on your back, he leaned against you, your left side compressed by the length of his body as he wove his thigh between your legs. You pushed up against him and he let out a carnal groan. You could feel how hard he was against your thigh.

His hand trailed down over your t-shirt, hand roaming up under the fabric to your skin. Goosebumps littered in his wake as his hand caressed your side. You kissed him harder, sucking at his lips and biting down ever so slightly when you wanted him to move his hand along your skin more.

Slowly, his hand began to travel down to the waist band of your shorts and you were shaking with need. He paused just before he could slip his hand down where you needed him most and pulled back abruptly from your lips.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” he panted, nervous blue eyes searching for resistance in your expression he wouldn’t find. “Tonight’s been... a lot and, and maybe it’s just the adrenaline-”

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” you begged, the words falling from your lips before you could stop them. “I don’t want to feel him anymore. Please, Buck.”

Bucky swallowed, nodding in a gentle kind of understanding, though his eyes fell away from you, not fully understanding what you were asking of him. You set your hand on his cheek, drawing his attention back, thumb brushing over the stubble on his jaw. The way he looked at you, so sweetly and full of an adoration you had only seen glimpses of behind his cover of flirty jokes and light-hearted teasing, was enough to make your heart overflow.

“I only want to feel you,” you urged, your voice just above a whisper as you dared to meet his eye, finding comfort in the shades of blue. “Just you.”

A flash of awe washed over him and his lips parted in disbelief. He exhaled, a subtle shake of his head as if trying to convince himself of what you had said. Bucky leaned down to kiss you, chaste and gentle, before he set his forehead against yours.

Then, as you hummed softly in contentment, his hand slipped under the fabric of your shorts and beneath your underwear until they traced at the outer lips of your core. You grind down against his hand, kissing at his jawline to compel him further. His fingers parted and dipped between the folds, running a long stripe up to your clit, causing you to shudder at the sensation.

Bucky kissed your forehead as he rubbed circles in the wetness, spreading it, before he sank his middle finger into you. You moaned, bucking your hips into his hand as he curled his finger at the knuckle, brushing over the spot that made your legs quake. He pushed in a second finger, pulling in and out, curving inside your walls.

"Shit,” you cursed, eyes closing as Bucky started to kiss at your earlobe.

His thumb pressed on your clit and you let out a whimper, biting down on your lip. It was the only sensation you could register. Bucky. Only Bucky. His lips on your neck. His heart pounding loudly in your ear. His breath on your skin. His fingers inside you, bringing you to the edge.

The pressure at your core was building, threatening to release as Bucky pumped his fingers harsher, circling firmer at the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Bucky,” you gasped, walls beginning to clench around him. One hand grasped at the sheets, bunching it your hand, desperate for relief, as the other wove around the nape of his neck to his hair, pulling at the short strands to hold him against you.  

“I know you’re close,” Bucky mewled, panting against your collarbone. He pressed a kiss to your jawline, breath hot on your skin. “Let go, sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

The ache released in waves of pleasure as you cried out, tucking your face into the crook of Bucky’s neck to muffle the sound. His fingers worked you over, prolonging your peak as long as he could. Though now he moved at a slower pace, careful as to not overstimulate you. He kissed sweetly at your neck as you gathered your breath.

“God, you’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, though it was so soft you almost didn’t hear it, like he had said it aloud by accident. There was a subtle ache in his voice, almost pained as he said it, but you were too dazed to catch it.

You looked up at him longingly, bringing his lips down to yours to kiss him affectionately and he smiled against your mouth. He pulled his hand away from your core and you missed it instantly.

Mind clearing from the rush of your high, you started to reach for the waistband of his sweatpants, desperate to pull him closer, to touch him, to make him feel as adored as he made you. Your fingers only brushed the skin above the grey elastic band before he recoiled and pulled away sharply.

You narrowed your eyes, confused as you watched Bucky swing his legs over the side of the bed and spring to his feet, adjusting the band of his sweats to sit higher on his waist. He swallowed thickly, eyes darting over towards the door and back to you lying on the bed, waiting for him.

“Bucky?” you asked slowly, apprehensively, “What are you-“

“You should get some rest,” he interjected hastily, dipping down to kiss your forehead before he started rushing towards the door.

“Wait!” You jumped to your feet, throwing yourself from the bed and darting after him. You planted yourself between him and the door, blocking his escape. Your heart began to sank when it occurred to you, he couldn’t meet your eye. You ran your hand up his arm soothingly, hoping to draw him back to bed. He clenched his jaw, turning away from you, almost as if he was fighting an internal war with himself.

“Let me return the favor, at least.”

“It’s not about favors, doll. You don’t owe me anything,” he said dejectedly, tucking his hands into his pockets and an ache burned in your stomach when you realized he wasn’t just talking about the sex. Following the movement of his hands, your eyes glanced down and saw the prominent outline of his arousal through the fabric of the grey sweatpants. He was hard, painfully so, but still, he wouldn’t let you touch him.

A sharp pang of realization. He didn’t think he deserved it. He was still punishing himself.

“Bucky,” you pled, fingertips brushing over his hardened length but he flinched away from you. “Please, let me-“

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he muttered, pushing past you as he slipped out the door, closing it sharply behind him.

You stared blankly at the white wooden door, heart aching as you listened to his footsteps pacing back and forth in the hallway restlessly. Reaching out carefully, you pressed your palm against the frame, as if it were a life line to him, as if it would bring him any source of comfort, and let out a heavy sigh. You backed away and let your hand fall away from the wood, heading towards your bed.

The soft echoes of Bucky’s footsteps lulled you to sleep.

part seven

tags 🌸 @sweetheartbarnes / @musiclover1263 / @pies-wands-and-more / @buckygrantbarnes / @mywinterwolf / @breatheeagainnnn / @jewelofwinter / @lumar014 / @alohafromhell1 / @bucksandroses / @teardropcup / @beautiful-aravis / @me-chi / @somewereinthegalaxi / @marvelfansworld / @whyamidoingthistomyselfhelp / @deanwinchesterswitch / @yourwonderbelle / @fairislesheets / @brokeinflight / @verygraphicink / @lollipopdomination / @emotionallysalty / @forsaken-letters / @kasimagines / @captain-hammer-of-asgard / @ashlieadelia / @ladymelissastark / @panic-naran / @pinkisokay / @jsmith509 / @hennessy0274-blog / @littlemsrantsalot

(hope I fixed the tag problem! let me know if you weren’t notified!)

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description) 

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

[buttercream-imagines]

I watched Joe’s live stream so you don’t have to (play by play reactions)

- announcement is a 24 hour livestream on ThatcherJoeVlogs on Friday starting at 6:00pm UK time (1:00pm EST) ft guests and Joe signing a lot of Username:Uprising

- I wish I had friends I could have a sleepover with and watch the livestream dude that would be so fun

- throwback to #1Dday I couldn’t even last seven hours with One Direction how the hell am I gonna do 24 hours with YouTubers

- just kidding I’m about to be dedicated as fuck

- Jack and Joe from 12:00-3:00 am

- #unpopularopinion I like Joe’s mustache

- my poor baby and his infected gums he was so ill he almost passed out whenever he ate cuz the pain as so bad fuck I want to hug him

- Joe speaking foreign languages is my aesthetic (and it reminds me that I really need to brush up on my spanish)

- “I’m trying to set up other things for the future cuz, you know, you never know how long this whole YouTube thing is gonna last before I’m back on the ol’ roof”

- “it’s getting to the point where I really do want a girlfriend”

- well I’ve always been at the point where I want to be your girlfriend so I don’t understand why this is such a predicament for you when I’m always available so quit complaining and hit me up

- no but really I want him to be happy and I think he would be so happy in a relationship so he’s just gotta get someone awesome

- (like I wasn’t mad when Caspar got with Maddie cuz she’s great so Joe needs someone great)

- main channel might become a lower priority in the future

- “And I’ll see you in the future with a Sugg Sunday Special. Who knows when it’ll be. I don’t wanna say that there’s gonna be an end to Sugg Sunday but... I don’t know. I’m not as fussed about that channel as much, which is a shame cuz that’s my main channel. I don’t know it’s been so nice to have a week [...] where I haven’t thought about that kind of stuff”

- obviously the idea of irregular Sugg Sunday Specials is sad but the idea of Joe putting out things because he feels obligated to and not because he enjoys them is even more sad

- “Wow that was deep whoa I went off! That’s what happens when Harry Styles starts playing music I start talking about proper stuff that I don’t normally speak about”

- yes, Harry Styles’ album was playing in the background throughout the entire livestream

- Kiwi is his favorite song (I shit you not that’s my favorite too it’s such a bop)

- serious Joe makes my heart feel warm

- he wants to raise a family in the countryside omg raising kids in the countryside he’s a country boy at heart

- “No iPads, no YouTube, no YouTube until you’re 12″

- “The dream is be able to have a lake and my dad can live in a little cave in the garden and look after the lake”

- honestly I love Joe wow

- HE DOESN’T LIKE THE WORD BUTTERCREAM GANG OR BUTTERCREAM SQUAD

- “We started it as like a little internal thing that we called ourselves and it spread and people call us the buttercream squad and I’m just like ugh it makes me like cringe out a bit whenever I hear it even though it’s what we call ourselves I guess. I don’t really call it that anymore”

- he starts the story of how they started to call themselves that at 28:38 of the video I’m not even going to try and summarize it ya’ll should just watch that bit

- okay but him, Conor, Caspar, and Mikey were the original four and that is so fucking random to me

- for some reason I just got really bummed out that he doesn’t like that name like okay Joe I literally have a blog dedicated to it so what the fuck am I supposed to do now

- he said none of them expected anyone else to start calling it that

- literally you’re all Internet sensations you should’ve known it was gonna get blown up when you gave yourself a name so honestly you brought this upon yourself lmao

- wOW MY HEART ACTUALLY IS BUMMED THAT HE DOESN’T LIKE IT

- also Byron is a member of their squad and literally none of us even talk about him/know him

- (side not Byron is hot as hell)

- I’m dead at how we all cling to whatever they say like the SECOND they tagged #buttercream on a photo we all went off

- I’m have an existential crisis wow

- “I just miss Jaspoli. That was my favorite, back in those days”

- I LEGIT THOUGHT I WAS GONNA CRY JUST NOW WOW MY HEART I MISS THOSE DAYS TOO JOE FUCK BRING IT BACK

- GO ON A JASPOLI TRIP PLS

- he wants a pet pig ??

- he’s gonna hang out with Brit soon !

- I ship him and Brit I have since the Jaspoli Coachella days (#unpopularopinion ??)

- literally the second I typed that he made a comment about it oh sorry sorry didn’t know that was a touchy subject

- reminder once again that I am single and available

- okay but they FaceTime every week for hours and that’s goals ???

- my jaw dropped at this bit he said he wants to stop going on nights out and start going to dinner parties and such, that he’s done with the night scene

- I thought he was joking but he was dead ass serious oh my god he’s growing up that felt weird to hear him say that

- “when the time’s right and it’s the right person” he’s a romantic person

- 52:58 through 53:05 is a joy

- “I’m a giver, not a receiver, take that as you will”

- he keeps getting shaky and he thinks it’s because he hasn’t eaten all day and it really worries me

- he’d like to live with both Oli and Josh (separately) and says that they’re both very mature

- his favorite YouTubers are the Sidemen and Caspar

- someone told him to collab with Kian and JC and he completely ignored it lmao

- HE SEES OLI AS A LITTLE BROTHER

- “I feel like I’ve watched him grow from like a little baby seed to like an oak tree. To see him do so well for himself now and he’s in a position where he’s just loving it and I’m so proud of him. I feel like a proud older brother and he’s said he sees me as like an older brother. We’ve had a lot of heart to hearts and stuff and he’s so good for advice. Even though he’s like my younger brother I go to him for advice a lot of the time cuz he’s been doing YouTube longer than I have and he’s just very knowledgeable about everything and he’s very sincere he cares about people a lot he puts others before him a lot of the time and he’s a genuine friend for life”

- THAT HAD ME SO FUCKING EMO

- it takes him a long time to open up to people, he’s usually quite shy when he meets people for the first time unless there’s that instant “chemical spark”

- he talked about being nice to people and compared life to climbing up a tree and how you should be nice to everyone you pass on your way up because if you’re not and then you start to drop, the people you pass won’t be there to grab your hand and stop you from falling

- in girls he looks for someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously, not too obsessed about themselves

- obviously first attraction is important but ultimately it’s about the personality (said every guy ever tbh) and then mentioned how if looks are that important to you it means you probably care more about how other people perceive you and your girlfriend than how you feel about your girlfriend herself

- “I want to find someone who can only add something to my life. Someone who improves my life and makes me a happier person. At the moment I’m a really happy person so anyone who has that affect to make it better is the one for me”

- reminder once again that I am single

- like I’m not drop dead gorgeous but I’ve got some stuff to offer I have nice eyes and good hair and my personality is great aside from the occasional down periods due to mental illness but you know we all have our flaws

- he talked seriously quite a bit in the stream and I’m really digging it I like serious Joe

- someone asked for advice on having a crush on your ex and he talked about moving on because it’s probably not good for you but then he said “unless you think they were the one”

- one of the best relationships he’s ever been in has been with someone older than him

- “Maybe I need to go for a cougar. Any 40 year old ladies?”

- *awkward laugh* “I’ve just admitted to a live stream that I’m after a mum. No I’m only joking. Imagine that I could end up being your dad”

- Poop Scoop with Brit on Friday

- he’s in no rush to have children

- “I’m fortunate enough to act like an immature child and get away with it a lot of the time”

- he doesn’t really want to settle down/get married anytime soon because he meets new people everyday and the idea of getting really settled down scares him because he never knows who he’s going to meet the next day

- “that’s why I’ve never- well not that you know of- had any public relationships”

- what the hell does that mean Joseph

- “I’m very good at keeping it all under wraps”

- WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN JOSEPH

- he’s literally so hungry he’s shaking Josh hurry up he needs food

- “I hope Caspar’s there cuz I haven’t seen him in bloody ages and I miss the ol’ boy. I miss the bloody weirdo”

- he loves livestreams because it’s the closest we can get to all sitting in a room together and “having a good ol’ standard chit chat”

- reminder of the 24 hour live stream on ThatcherJoeVlogs starting at 6:00pm UK time (1:00pm EST)

- “New vlog soon. New gaming video soon. I’m back. Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere. I’m still loving life. And more importantly, you’re all bloody legends.”

---

that was a lot there you go (or you could just watch the live stream idk)

also I wish I knew people who lived near me 😭 I would so fucking love to have a sleepover and make good friends and watch Joe

[zombolouge]

The longest tag ever

Tagged in this by @illneverrecover who is basically my nurse sister and also a blessing and I love her. She didn't technically tag me to do it but I'm sick so I didn't realize that until I was halfway through answering OOPS NOW IM COMMITTED I'm writing this while high on cold meds AND on mobile so pls excuse all abnormal levels of stupidity THE LAST: 1. DRINK: water, THE LIQUID OF LIFE, BLOOD FROM THE SURGING SEAS WHICH SHAPE OUR PLANET WITH TIDES THAT DANCE TO THE RHYTHMS OF THE SULLEN, SILVER MOON. You know, after it's been filtered a bit tho. 2. PHONE CALL: My mom, a week or so ago. I called her to tell her I got tickets to go see Queen in concert because I knew she would appreciate it ^_^ 3. TEXT MESSAGE: my roommate texting me two taco emojis to announce dinner 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Oh god I don't remember probably Rush but I'm real high on NyQuil so idk 5. TIME YOU CRIED: Saturday. I cried through the whole first half of the Roger Waters show, ESPECIALLY when they played Wish You Were Here (guys I lost my shit and have no shame it was awesome) HAVE YOU: -6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nope 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: yup yup YUP 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Yes 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: a person? No. Pet? Yes. Of all the weird tragedy I have dealt with in life, the death of a loved one has been strangely absent 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: YUP 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: nope LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: turquoise, grey, and blue IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yes! Mostly online tho 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Lol I do this most of the time when I GM so yes 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yeah, but I don't really care lol 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Uh....I don't know I'm not existential enough rn to answer this one 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: Uh????? I have no idea 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: Lol I have done no smooching and I don't even know who the fuck is on my Facebook anymore GENERAL: 22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: No idea 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: three cats: Lucifer, Bubbies, and Fritz 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Nah 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: I got really sweet and lovely gifts from my friends and laid low to let The Accursed Time pass, then I went to take myself out for a steak dinner and watch a live show of MBMBAM. 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: lol I have slept all day because of the cold so I have no fucking clue 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Sleeping 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: My trip to San Diego in July. I CANNOT WAIT IM VERY EXCITED. 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: March of 2015 :( 30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: I wish I could spend all day writing. 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING RIGHT NOW: a toddler giggling bc she's running around naked 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Yes...what a weird fucking question tho 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: Sinus congestion 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: probably google idk 35. MOLE/S: I don't think so 36. MARK/S: I have a scar on my knee from skinning it twice in the same spot in the same week, and a scar on my arm where I fell on a fork. Not much else tho 37. CHILDHOOD DREAM: to be remembered 38. HAIRCOLOR: Red. REDHEADS FOR LIFE. 39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short 40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yes, everyone. I have a crush on everybody and I love you all so much 41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: that I'm creative and emotional. I like that I experience all my feelings at an 11 42. PIERCINGS: none 43. BLOODTYPE: no idea 44. NICKNAME: Zom 45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single 46. ZODIAC: Pisces 47. PRONOUNS: she/her 48. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Galavant, Firefly, Eureka, American Gods, Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy 49. TATTOOS: none but I have a list of tattoos that I want to get when I have the money 50. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right 51. SURGERY: none 52. HAIR DYED IN DIFFERENT COLOR: Been dying it red since 8th grade 53. SPORT: I like watching sports with other people that like sports. I don't gravitate to it on my own but love to get into it with other peeps 55. VACATION: I've had a few. I took a trip to Canada last year, and THIS year I'm going to: San Diego, San Francisco, and Japan ^_^ 56. PAIR OF TRAINERS: ...p...Pokémon? MORE GENERAL: 57. EATING: food?? I like buffalo wings. I'm currently eating donuts 58. DRINKING: nothin 59. I’M ABOUT TO: watch the Bachelorette with my roommate and hate on Lee, who is the ghost of a plantation owner given form again. Racist motherfucker 61. WAITING FOR: Saturday, when I get to see Queen in concert 62. WANT: to be able to write for a living 63. GET MARRIED?: sure, if the right person comes along and they want to, but I wouldn't lose my shit if they didn't 64. CAREER: I am a Microsoft slave by day and writer by night. I look forward to the day when it's just "writer of all kinds" WHICH IS BETTER 65. HUGS OR KISSES: BOTH AND YOU CAN NEVER MAKE ME CHOOSE 66. LIPS OR EYES: eyes 67. SHORTER OR TALLER: I’m very short and I'm attracted to very tall because the tol and smol aesthetic must be adhered to 68. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older, but age is just a number. It depends more on who they are not how old they are. 70. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: uh...I'm gonna go with personality. 71. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: both us goid 72. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Lol I equate physical affection with my emotional attachment so hookups are a BAD SCENE for me. Relationship pls 73. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: depends on how much wine I've had HAVE YOU EVER: 74. KISSED A STRANGER: No. 75. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: ye boi 76. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: No, but I've only been wearing glasses for a year or so 77. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yup 78. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: No 79. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Yes 80. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: YUP 81. BEEN ARRESTED: NOPE 82. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yeah 83. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: lol YUP DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. YOURSELF: when I can get my brain to shut up for long enough, yeah 85. MIRACLES: maybe 86. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Yes 87. SANTA CLAUS: No 88. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: yes 89. ANGELS: Uh...idk??? No idea man OTHER: 90. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: I'm so not gonna pick and choose, I have a few best friends 91. EYE COLOR: green :) 92. FAVORITE MOVIE: The Last Unicorn There I did it even tho nobody wanted this IF YOU WANT TO DO IT CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED BC I LOVE YOU. YES, YOU. YOU DON'T THINK I MEAN YOU, BUT I DEFINITELY DO.

[liveonlinematches]

Via Scott Morris Created on: December 20, 2017 nine:02 pm Final Up to date: December 20, 2017 nine:02 pm

Deficient efficiency

Manchester United fanatics have grew to become on one participant after his very deficient efficiency within the Carabao Cup conflict towards Bristol Town.

That participant is Zlatan Ibrahimovic after he struggled to affect the sport within the striker position.

The Swedish ahead was once beginning his first sport since struggling an enormous ACL harm and was once even captaining the aspect.

Zlatan unquestionably didn’t do too smartly below the power and struggled to get the ball down when he did get it.

He misplaced ownership on various events and couldn’t stay the ball at his toes, along with his contact all the time very a lot off.

That left the Manchester United fanatics on his again at halftime and rightly so, with their efficiency in every single place the pitch doing little to take the top off Ibra.

The aspect had been not able to wreck down lower-league aspect Bristol Town even with the plethora of attacking ability on display.

Anthony Martial, Marcus Rashford and Zlatan Ibrahimovic will have to be greater than sufficient to place a cup tie like this to mattress however it wasn’t the case.

Each Zlatan and Rashford did come shut despite the fact that, the previous having a deflected effort onto the bar whilst the latter having his tough strike cannon off the interior of the publish.

Despite the fact that, this is unquestionably no excuse for Manchester United fanatics as they grew to become at the Swedish celebrity.

Guy United fanatics activate Ibra

It’s secure to mention that Manchester United fanatics aren’t essentially the most affected person bunch.

That supposed that social media was once now not more than pleased at half-time when the aspect had failed to attain towards Bristol Town.

Now not best that, they unquestionably weren’t more than pleased with Zlatan Ibrahimovic on his returning to the beginning lineup.

See what they needed to say underneath.

The remark I’ve with Ibra: he appears to be like meek. Which is totally at odds along with his complete “lion” character. I believe he’s completed TBH.

— Alex Shaw (@AlexShawESPN) December 20, 2017

I’m hoping I by no means see anyone confer with Ibra as “King” once more. He’s were given the facility of Victor Anichebe. Guy is done.

— Öliver. (@UtdOliver) December 20, 2017

My favorite factor about Zlatan Ibrahimovic is you lot would possibly ease up on Romelu Lukaku when Ibra reminds you that he’s the shitter finisher.

— CR (@CR689908) December 20, 2017

My favorite factor about Zlatan Ibrahimovic is you lot would possibly ease up on Romelu Lukaku when Ibra reminds you that he’s the shitter finisher.

— CR (@CR689908) December 20, 2017

Ibra suffering towards a membership who’re best related on account of purpose GIF’s. That is what he will get for being an absolute weirdo.

— Jake. (@YedIin) December 20, 2017

Ibra is solely unhealthy now. So unhealthy

— Mamaa (@ama_kusi) December 20, 2017

Ibra is so fucking shit

— Pogbesque (major were given suspended) (@PogbesqueV3) December 20, 2017

“Give Ibra a while to get again in shape”, aight 1st of all, he’s now not 25 you recognize. He’s right here on restricted time, why the fuck is that this guy on our payroll so he can get again into form for his MLS journey? Embarrassing, fuck him off. Simply play Martial prematurely after we leisure Lukaku.

— Simply Joe. (@DutchMaldini) December 20, 2017

It’s like Ibra thinks defenders will have to simply get out of his approach as a result of he calls himself a lion. Doesn’t even attempt to take them on.

— ManUnitedTalk (@ManUnitedTalk) December 20, 2017

Diabolical actually. Martial the one ahead attacking with urgency. Ibra, as I’ve been announcing for weeks, enjoying like a bloke five/6 years previous it. Sure he had a nasty harm. No that doesn’t imply we will have to stay him out of sympathy and he DEFINITELY will have to now not be beginning video games.

— Jaydn (@JaydnMUFC) December 20, 2017

You spot Ibra pls depart

— Dieudonne (@DidiM_93) December 20, 2017

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