#guys this is sorta important

[gently-decaying-flowers]

i love my brother

but i feel like he’s a little black and white when it comes to gender identity- which is bizarre as he’s a trans guy

i’ve changed pronouns/gender identity/sexuality a lot because idk i’m younger and trying to figure out who i am and what feels right- and he calls me the most “inconsistent person he knows”

which kinda sucks

he told me he talked to my mom apparently about how i’d benefit from just calling myself genderfluid and i have two problems with that

1) i’m not out to my mom. i love my mom and she’s so supportive but i don’t want to come out until im sure because i don’t wanna change it up on her all the time. looks like he did that for me tho

2) genderfluid doesn’t feel right to me- at least right now. it’s not my label. i’m nonbinary/genderqueer atm and i don’t wanna change because of how he thinks i should identify

there’s also the added layer that he and his girlfriend are t4t- his partner was nonbinary for a long time and now they use they/she pronouns and identify as a fem nonbinary- WHICH IS SO COOL

but that means both of their gender experiences were a bit more binary- both leaning heavily away from their agab. i think because i still like feminine things (this convo arose last night because i showed him the swimsuit i was gonna get) and im not the more common “nonbinary androgynous” presenting person- or because i don’t lean fully away from more “feminine” things- he doesn’t really understand?

i think in his mind enby is either dressing masc if you’re afab or fem if you’re amab- or the like short hair, baggy clothes, genderless being aesthetic shown in media when it comes to enby people

and all the power to them! they’re valid and amazing as who they are, but when that becomes The Look for nonbinary people it can affect peoples acceptance of enbies who aren’t like that or can’t afford to be because of money, their home life, etc.

all this is sorta to say that you don’t have to listen to what the older queer people around you think you “should be” or what it “sounds like you are” even people who’ve been in the queer community longer have had different experiences than you- and shouldn’t dictate your interpretation of your own identity

also don’t feel bad about being inconsistent!! ever!!! i like telling myself:

maybe it is a phase but it’s not just a phase. it’s the phase i’m in and i deserve to explore it and have it be respected and feel valid, even if it changes

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can't be the only one.

I’ll be honest and say I literally did base William’s face off this image…

[salmonwaterbottle]

Can I just say one of the things I’ve not seen people talk about in God Games is one of things that set Zeus off and make him do what he did to Athena was that he was possibly feeling bad about what he did to Odysseus during Thunder Bringer (ie: fucking exploding his ship causing him to wash up on Calypso’s island) one of the things he says are “You dare defy me? To make me feel shame?” because that’s what she’s doing. Shes indirectly going against something he did and giving all these reasons why his act of “defending Helios” (ish) has had negative consequences and in turn convincing everyone else the same which makes him feel not only attacked but also feel possible remorse for something he did which he can’t cope with. So he doubles down.

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[001139]

a story about a flight instructor who hallucinates his dead student

[addie4ddie2005]

Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story

[gooopy]

I almost sewed a spare button on my shirt with matching brown thread. Realized that thia shirt has traded hands dozens of times, a thrifted shirt with holes and worn out velcro. I used sky-blue thread to sew the button on, and i hope when the shirt trades hands again the next owner likes it. Id like to mend the holes soon

[thegreatyin]

completely normal roommates bonding over completely normal things like *flips through notes* murdering each other and having complicated opinions on giant alien bats

[yuridovewing]

like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao

[savefrog]

ok look ive only mostly had a passive interest in the series and only saw some of the older versions as a teen and idk it's relative popularity in anime circles cause i never hear anyone talk about Ge Ge Ge no Kitarou BUT WAS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEY MADE KITAROU'S DAD

(Pictured here as a goofy ass lil butt naked eyeball man)

INTO A GODDAMN TUMBLR SEXYMAN???????????

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

[vamp-a-day]

day 75

he'd probably recognize her if he saw her but he doesn't know her by name

[synthetic-rust]

Think I’m finally becoming happy with how I draw his nose :D

[journey-to-the-attic]

jtta newspaper club assemble!! 🗞️

designs updated! note: while mephisto is the shortest (standing) member, i also accidentally drew him a bit too small in proportion with the others. i would've resized him but it pixelates the hell out of the poor boy

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 36/52: tfw you sacrifice yourself to save a pal from experiencing The Horrors™ too early and fucking up the ENTIRE timeline

She's seen the time fracture in action. She knows exactly what it wants to do. And she knows exactly what she needs to do. The moment she sees the fracture zero in on Lucy, she's running. She drops her staff (it disappears before it even hits the ground) and relies on her instincts. Shoves her hands back as the summer sprite glamour falls. The snow jumps up to aid her, but it's not enough, it's not enough, she needs to use her full power set or it'll be too late and Lucy— She grits her teeth. No. No. She's not gonna let that happen. The snow pushes her forward as she reaches up and tears the simple silver bangle with the small hourglass charm off her wrist, tossing it down into the snow behind her. The second glamour drops. Her powers are at her full disposal once again and she is flying across the battlefield, piercing blue eyes set on the large, dark, fragment hovering dangerously above Lucy. She'll make it, but only just. "Wait!" "What are you doing?!?" "J—Winnie! Winnie, STOP." She ignores every single warning. Mel, Jack, and her Lucy fall on deaf ears as she closes the gap between the splintered piece of time and pre-Horrors Lucy. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch," she says, and springs off her pile of snow like a diver jumping the high dive, arms out, crashing right into Lucy as the fracture hits her right in the back. It's breathtaking. Literally. She can't breath. Pain blossoms. In sharp succession. Onetwothree (all THREE?? REALLY? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, she thinks) shink-shink-shink and she is bleeding, she is bleeding so so bad but Lucy is tucked up against her and is safe, she's in one piece and she is there and she is okay. They fall to the floor with a thud, rolling for a moment. She grabs the snow, stopping herself, letting Lucy go. The redhead rolls once more before managing to stop herself and sit up on her knees, watching with horror as 'Winnie' pushes herself up. A puddle of blood is quickly spreading around her, and in the distance, Mel and the other Lucy are panicking, frazzled, wands out and at the ready as they rush across the field towards them. Blood seeps between her fingers. She coughs; a dribble of red creeps out the corner of her mouth. She moves her right hand away from her chest, blood glistening against her pale palm. She winces. Her left hand is still holding her stomach tightly, glowing a light blue now. There is a sharp cracking sound as ice blossoms across her stomach, a feeble attempt to stop the bleeding. Lucy can't help but let out a sharp gasp. She looks up at her, then; a sharp, piercing blue gaze, concern lining her features. She coughs; blood splatters. "Are you okay, Luce?" Lucy doesn't say anything. She is transfixed, staring at the blue eyes, the very very familiar blue eyes. She thinks back to that familiar warm presence, acutely felt as she sought to help Jack. The warm presence that had returned every time she was near older Lucy's friend. "Jacqueline?!"

I think this is number 3?? Of 5?? Of the @kscribbs suggestions! This one is delightfully angsty. I've mentioned before about how I bug her about a "The Forgiven" AU that involves ML Lucy and Jacqueline time travelling and nonsense ensuing? Yeah! This is where this is from 🤭🤭🤭

Quick Facts:

Mel knows from the get-go who Jacqueline is. Lucy, as well, but that's because she doesn't really need to disguise herself the way Jacqueline does!

The pair of them pop into this timeline to take care of a time fracture that escaped from their timeline, and immediately get their asses handed to them bc it was stronger than either of them expected—the question is, why?

They go to Mel after that immediate defeat and stay with her while they figure things out

They both have a glamour to appear younger; the little bangle I describe? FT gives it to them to help with said glamour and make their powers seem not as advanced as they are, since they're trying to appear the same age as Forgiven!Lucy

Jacqueline has a second glamour she wove into her staff to make her appear more summer spritey than winter spritey. Since she's dead in this universe, she disguises herself as a summer sprite and goes by Winnie (short for Winifred, she claims, and definitely NOT Winter which is definitely NOT her middle name because she's definitely NOT a very alive and well Jacqueline from another universe) for reasons. Which I have. But am too sleepy today to elaborate on, lol.

Forgiven!Jack and Lucy are sus but Jacqueline is okay at keeping her true identity on the DL, probably bc Lucy and Mel are a HUGE help with that bc let's be real, Jacqueline ain't SLICK

They drag her to the Springs and then CS General after this. She is a terrible patient and her non-existence causes problems in CSG and so does she

But she'll be okay! :)

Forgiven!Lucy finds out who she is after THAT stunt; Jacqueline asks her not to tell Jack while she's bleeding out so, y'know, given the whole bleeding out thing, Lucy agrees (for now)

Jack finds out a few days later after Jacqueline does more dumb shit bc post hospital visit, she gets fed up and misses her wife and kids (that's milf jacquie babes!) and is like I WILL GO FIND THE SPLINTER MYSELF and learns VERY VIOLENTLY why the splinter is so much more powerful than they expected!

Ends up on Jack's couch with a magic shortage and it all goes down then >:)

hmm...I think I'll leave you with that!

Will I ever fully write this thing? I don't know! It's fun to theorize and entertain K with, and this drabble sure was fun, but my GOD her writing is so fucking GOOD I don't think I could match the gorgeous style at all! Please read Miller's Law if you get the chance, it's so so SO GOOD! And The Forgiven, which is an alternate ending to the Jacqueline Dies AU! Which you can find Part 1 of, Blood Upon the Snow, HERE and Part 2: Ghosts of the Past, HERE.

(Like the titles? I've been trying to name that sucker for AGES. Still not totally sold on Part 2's title, but for now it works :)

Design wise, I bugged K for what she thought ML!Lucy would look like at this point as well as Forgiven!Lucy, and she showed me some lovely little doodles and I based them off of those! I really like oldML!Lucy's design a LOT! Look how cool her hair is!

Perspectives and proportions are all off but! A) this is a SCRIMBLY! I'm not supposed to THINK about that sorta stuff! That was the POINT to them! And B) I'm only just starting to refine doodles and it's baby steps! Practise makes perfect!

Colours wise, I am going to fistfight the purples I used for older Luce bc they looked lighter based on the caps and the test lines and when I used them? YEAH. NO. WAY DARKER! IT'S TWO DIFFERENT SHADES AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL!!! One day, I'll have a full set of the alcohol based markers I like and THEN I won't HAVE that problem, IN THEORY! AH. And Mel's SHIRT is too YELLOW! GRAHHHHHHHH.

Right. So. This is the FIRST September scrimble! One more and I am caught up to where I should be next week! And I PROMISE the next two are gonna be so cute and fluffy and silly I SWEAR!

[homoeroticvillain]

oogh not really happy with this, but i finally drew rey, who is teddy's betrothed [lore dump in tags]