#had a full blown panic attack this time

[wheresmulder]

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[sskk-manifesto]

Oh yes, typical “this person (barely any much) younger than me is capable to do something I can't that's pretty trivial but that looks amazing and formidable to me and that's going to evoke in me immense dread and endless despair” 18 y/o face

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Laughing a bit because earlier I was thinking "Well, Pac's probably going to be ok since Cellbit's just attacking Federation workers and he hasn't actually "reverted back into Cell", which means Pac probably won't wind up in the line of fire," and then I remembered Pac is friends with Walter Bob (Federation worker), he's in love with Fit (Federation janitor), and Pac has a horrible habit of undervaluing himself and sacrificing himself for others' sake, and I literally went:

(Note: I do think Pac will be ok since once again: Cellbit's not reverting back into Cell or anything, and they are family, but getting caught in the crossfire is A Very Pac thing to do).

[demadogs]

sooo how long after crashing your car do you feel normal again emotionally… how many business days.

[wanderingblindly]

HI LOVE!! 💜🎧🔐 please

EMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HI ANGEL HELLO!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING

💜 describe yourself in five words or less!

I answered this one earlier with: opinionated, passionate, considerate, annoying, and affectionate, but i'm increasingly fearful that i have no idea who i am

🎧 last song you listened to

For fic purposes, I listened to About You by the 1975 for 500 total minutes yesterday (wish I was kidding). My last song for personal purposes was Uneasy Hearts Weigh the Most by Dance Gavin Dance. Side note about that, I really want to write a fic about some of those lyrics

🔐 something no one would guess about you

uhhhh well I'm painfully aware that strangers do not tend to accurately guess that I'm a straight-edge grandma who likes to go to bed at 9pm and would wither away in a bar. I get a lot of weird faces from other generally alt ppl when that comes up. Among people that know me... no one would probably guess that I have a debilitating fear of automated voices, like the ones used in amber alerts and national announcements. They send me into such a panic that I get sick and cry

[thelaughingmerman]

Last night waaaas. Bad. So bad. Negative /

I had a dream that was one part ok but 2 parts nope. In it my mom used They pronouns for me and called me benny which was like good. But I was still anxious in the dream, it was the third dream in like a week where I mentioned the prospect of having that surgery done, and for the first time in my life I dreamt my teeth fell out.

I guess I didn't sleep enough because about 4 at work I started losing balance and that sent me into a panic attack over nothing and I started having trouble breathing. And then I was like is this just anxiety and my brain was like NO you are SICK. So that made me more anxious. And I'm so overwhelmed. Like my anxiety has been so so so bad lately I'm in such a spiral and I'm so scared all the time. And I just need to hold out for a little while longer soon I can change my insurance plan through work. But it's no wonder I've been so exhausted lately.

[torahtot]

everyone daven for me i just got back from my brother's (yeshivish school) graduation and tomorrow night i have to go to Yeshivish Central for my cousins wedding

[viiwid]

4 panic attacks today🥴 I love moving I love landlords

[justtogetthrough]

Work has been insanely busy and I'm not functioning well but I have tomorrow night, Friday night, and half of Saturday to pack up as much of my house as I can because on Sunday my best friend is bringing their friend to help me move the furniture I need to sell to the main floor from upstairs and downstairs, rearrange my study, and they're gonna take back a carload of boxes to put in my apartment for me.

I just... need to get my shit together enough to have things ready for them being here.

It doesn't feel like a lot of time but my friend is so busy all the time and starting a new job on Monday so I'm just relieved and grateful they are still willing to help me and even recruited another person to assist bc I physically can't move furniture.

I don't know why they love me like they do but it's the best thing I have going for me these days.

[the-mehlwurm]

if im panicking because I heard somethibg in our apartment (maybe) am I allowed to wake up my sister and her boyfriend or is tgat weird

[headofocs-inklesspen]

Hmmm why is it always the gender related panic attack has to happen in a fucking target

[rainey-staerie-daize]

I just wanted to draw.

But then I noticed ants.

And I decided to be helpful.

Load of good that did.

[fmhobeus]

so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

[angeltism]

not 2 keep posting literally Only Vents (and like 1 normal thing once a day) but it's nights like these I reminisce about my abuser and wonder all that "what if"s

all the sui tw/cw tags r because of shit I wrote in the tags

[paralien]

what if I just kill myself in the most fucked up way possible at work. giving the guests at the hotel trauma for life when they find me in some hannibal-eque grotesque state in the lobby. would that be fucked up or what hahaha

[foxxsong]

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