#had to stay home from work today
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I just want to lay down and have a good cry I feel so helpless
#had to stay home from work today#I cant drive cant stand#there’s things that need to be places and stuff that needs to be cleaned#broken things from the cats all over the floor o can’t bend over to fix#I’m starving but I can’t COOK so I’m just eating crackers#I don’t know what caused this but this means I’ll have to go back again which I’m also dreading#it just all hurts so much#vent#delete later
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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“Damian,” Jason said, “we need to get the cat into the carrier to bring her to the Vet. Can you work on getting her inside it?”
“Certainly,” Damian replied, as he stood up. He cradled the kitten against his shoulder and crossed the room. Once he opened the door on the carrier he just… put the cat inside.
Just like that.
“I was not expecting it to be that easy,” Jason mumbled.
“Well,” Damian said with a smirk, “Not all of us are incompetent.”
“Yeah, thanks Damian,” Jason said with a roll of his eyes. He turned to the girls and said, “Okay, you two behave yourselves for Clark while Damian and I go to the vet. You can call me on the phone if you need to, but we’ll be back in time for dinner.”
“Okay,” Attie exclaimed excitedly.
Mara was standing behind Athanasia and Jon, who were both sitting on the floor, and she gave Jason an uncertain look, so Jason walked over and put an arm around her shoulders in a sort-of-hug.
“Have fun,” he said, “you won’t even notice we’re gone.”
“That’s doubtful,” she said, but she reluctantly pulled away and squat down on the ground with the other two.
“Ready Dames?” Jason asked.
“My name is Damian,” Damian said dryly, but he picked the carrier up, and walked out the front door.
“I guess that’s a yes. Thanks Clark for watching them.”
#jason and the three terrors#next chapter!#actually posted on wednesday this time lol#i got home from work yesterday and immediately fell asleep and stayed asleep untli this morning so#lol i had to write it today
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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god they’re all. snorting lines. i think i deserve a treat for staying clean and sober at this point
#cocaine tw#drugs tw#isn’t it weird. that the only reward you get is a full life the point of which you question?? isn’t it so weird and tragic???#anyway. i’m going home soon and staying clean and sober except for the five cosmos i’ve had cheers bebés but mama knows. mama is proud of me#but like goddammit. my friend snorted like three lines at work today. it’s so. it’s so scary. and crazy. and real. it’s not supposed to be#real. anyway. ANYWAY#dio.txt#i know i wouldn’t stop if i started. i’m too self destructive. and they know. so they’ll stop me from starting. but STILL. damn#being a big city boygirl has its downsides too. exhibit a
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i know i’ve said that being able to do the stereotypical insane ao3 authors notes is fun and amusing to me but can the universe NOT take that as a challenge to add more shit to my list of things to add next time i post ???? like. fucking. Calm Down Please.
#situations keep happening and i am TIRED#had to restrain a kid at work today which was AWFUL but he was trying to run into the road so i literally had to#almost cried bc of it but got the situation under control#but then when on my way to meet w coworkers to carpool to a meeting#my tire popped#super fun times super awesome super great#i mean my mom helped and we got it all fixed and handled#but basically from noon to like 6pm my mom and i were dealing w it bc everything had to be COMPLICATED#so i only just got home like 45 mins ago ish and i am SO tired holy fuck#but im eating left over orange chicken and then gonna shower and then just gonna be lazy and read and maybe write#if i have the brain power i will work on hb chp17#but i also have a 4 hour training for work tomorrow so yeehaw#its 12:30-4:30 which isnt that bad but still#im also going to my dads afterwards to stay the night and visit him and my siblings#which is a good thing dont get me wrong i love visiting them#it just means i wont have a lot of freetime this weekend to work on writing and cleaning and stuff#not the end of the world and definitely worth it to see my dad and my baby siblings#but i wish it was a 3 day weekend so i could also have a day to just stay home and do things that i havent had the time to do yk#oh well. tis life. adulthood. having to handle situations and finding the best out of shitty circumstances. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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girl. send me some fucking vampire thoughts, i'm dying.
#i'm just being dramatic but i came in early to work today and was just asked to stay late#my eyes hurt from staring at screens all day and all i want to do is write about queer vampires#today SUCKS lmao i left my work keys at home and traffic was bad and the parking garage was full#so i had to drive around the downtown metropolitan area and parallel park my fucking suv on the street#I'M JUST GRUMPY LOL I NEED TO BITE LOUIS BETWEEN MY TEETH AND SHAKE HIM AROUND LIKE A CHEW TOY
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👀here’s 👁️looking👁️ at you, kid👀
#just tryin to stay awake during my ride home pls dont mind me—#im tired. so tired. even though i did p much nothing at work today… to a degree#lord. my body aches s o m u c h from work (by work i mean yesterday’s work)#standing up to pipette over 300 samples in duplicates for the most part for around 10-11 hours isn’t fun :( sadge#at least i didn’t have to do that today (ayyy) b u t the guy who did it today didn’t have to do as many samples as i had to yesterday so-—#im just. sadded :( i stg three day weekends are both a blessing and a curse. sadded :(#though it’s not like i even had a 3 day weekend since i had to work on saturday :( hour long commutes on weekends aren’t fun :(#i just want a nice weekend too… :( i wanna sleeeeeeep#oh wow the eyes post worked i stayed awake for the ride ayyyyyy#the dude from gamushara
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trying not to believe they turnt the Internet off before they left for work. 😒
#Absolutely something my dad's wife would demand.#Keep in mind this is the same woman who took away my laptop in highschool after I missed one work assignment.#Whatever. I am using 4G.#I noticed it was off before they left and then I woke up to see I had a text from my dad telling me the Internet is off at 6 am.#Y'all I could literally just use my phone (as I am now) or play the sims 2 all day or read or#Like. It's not the Internet that kept me from going to work#Or kept me awake for to long that made me ''tired'' (I even got the correct amount of sleep)#My mental health is just shit.#And yes I already planned on going to work today.#So it's not like I was going to stay home to begin with?#When I call out it is for a day.#And yeah. I already called out earlier this month after Covid#But that's cause I was still feeling the effects of Covid.#Do cameras need a wifi connection?#If so. Maybe one of them went to check the cameras#And they actually didn't turn the wi-fi off at all.#Loon.txt
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Me when a single day alters the course of my life forever
#in a good way ofc#(gonna start rambling today was a good day)#so like. made plans last night to hop on and play some warframe with a friend#thst friend is uber cool. and also american so we dont get to vc and game togethdr much#but i woke up at 8 30#had brekkie#and got on at 9#played gamed with coolest homie for 3 hours#watched the first ep of jjk while eating food w them and takijg a breather from games#as we finished up motivation hit so i had my adhd med abt 20 mins before we finished#cut my hair so i no longer feel wonky abt the length#tried a new way of styling the cut and it works really well#then went to the mall to get some things ive been meaning to get for years#came back home cleaner my room#saw facebook advert for a job opportunity i have been seeking out for quite some time#sent in a very formal and well written email application while figuring out how to go further in depth about the things i said#went back to room and sewed on the last remaining badge for my scout uniform#checked up on fb for scout things happening tonight#hyped myself up to go#night went better than i thought it would and nobody got unreasonably upset and everyone stayed levelheaded#and!! i got secretary!! one of the four core exec roles!!!#came home and chatted to parents about an event they went to#it was just. such a good day#and now i eeby#ren rambles#OH AND NOT TO MENTION#before i came home but after scouts#i talked with my closest friends abt my hyperfixations (and the ones we share!!) and it was sososo fun#i love sharing hyperfixes with friends#<3333
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Am i going to make it
#okay i didnt sleep for 2 days#had been napping for 15 minute intervals#finally came back home from the hospital last night bc i have work today in a few hours#and oh god#i woke up like 30 minutes and i feel like absolute horseshit#and today im staying the night at the hospital again#but im feeling calm bc my mom's outlook is quite positive according to the doctors#but by jove#😭
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I hate being sick. I’m always convinced I’m faking it or that it’s not as bad as I think it is but I’m blowing it out of proportion for attention or to get out of something
#meows#I’ve had pretty bad vertigo the past 3 days#I made myself stay the first day (bad idea)#stayed home from work yesterday and now today#but ofc that little voice in my head is like#hmmm but what if you’re not as bad off as you were yesterday#and are just faking it 🤔#meanwhile if I rotate my head ‘too fast’#I get a wave of dizziness and nausea#but maybe I’m faking it. who knows#fun. fun stuff
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‘you’re all i got, cousin’ crying over richie of all people. can this day get any worse
#IF I SAID RICHIE IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPELLING CHARACTERS ON THE BEAR WHAT THEN#THIS SHOW SAID NO TWO DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS!!!#he’s still a dick tho. love him#hi i had a hellish day. being on ur period plus working bank holiday saturday lunch rush? no a slaytastic combo#saw unprecedented levels of twatism today night actually be my worst shift at this place ever#god fr saw me posting positively about work lately and went girl BE QUIET and u know what it’s crickets from my end from now on bossman#this is the first time i could NOT snap myself out of a mood bc of a customer like it was a hundred little shitty interactions#of being spoken to like utter shit and then one table just pissed me OFF like complained to my manager the works and if it had been that on#it’s own it would have been fine but it had already been building and i was like no. im done#got asked if i could stay on until 10 and i wasn’t even polite about it i just went ‘FUCK no’#almost cried on the bus home. humiliating. immediately got in an argument w my mum. thriving tbh#and then went ‘now is probably a bad time to watch THIS of all shows but oh well’ and weirdly it’s actually calmed me down bc I’m reminded#this is a universal struggle and it isn’t just me being a little bitch lmao. still sucks that my job literally consists of#‘whoever can tolerate being spoken to like dirt for the longest without snapping will get shifts :)’ like why is this behaviour allowed#why do i have to regularly day after day be disrespected and treated like im not even a person. for MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE#blowing the restaurant up im so fucking done man#the bear#hella slaves to capitalism
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nothing funnier than a cowoker who agreed that people with only "slight colds or something" should still go to work is the one who is all "no please stay away from me i don't wanna get sick" when i arrive to work sniffling and coughing my lungs out
but i wasn't dizzy, no headache nor fever so to me that IS a slight cold
funny how that works tho (:
#txts#the moment it affects them suddenly its a problem huh#anyhow pray for me that it'll be bad again tomo....today in like 6hours#and that my doc answers their phone#in that combo#bc i wanna stay home#i CAN work but it is exhausting as seen by me being tired at fucking 10pm#from a 6hour workday#if my doc cant answer their phone bc understaffed then i'd prefer to be healthy af#bc i can't get there#bc busses are striking...i think again and not still?#its an ongoing issue and i am growing a bit tired of it tbh#if i had a job i would have to commute to i'd be straight up fucked for the majority of my time since they started striking#but thats another issue#of which my sympathy is running kinda dry#glad to be out of training bc otherwise i wouldn't be able to do my 2hour school commute no matter what lol#if busses arent on strike then trains are#and you need both to go to school#rip to our 2nd yearer bc he...can not get there atm ever :D
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Month 7, day 24
Taking a break from fonts and translating on account of fuck you mother nature, and also I've missed doing actual drawing, so have some tie-down work on the "friendly" sparring match Frey won that I thumbnailed forever ago :3
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#forspoken#forspoken fan art#forspoken spoilers#frey holland#forspoken susurrus#my uterus is kicking my ass so hard I had to stay home from work today ):#on the bright side I chopped up a watermelon :D#and made popcorn :D
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Y'all I so want to participate in InuKag Week but I don't think I even have the energy to pick up a pen let alone draw stuff 😩😭
#i just got back from a week and a half learning how to drive by my brother and let me tell you he took the job VERY SERIOUSLY#which is good but he'd drag me outta bed by 8 or sometimes 6 so we could practice#plus we did a lot of stuff together or had friends of his and family come over to interact with or entertain#I actually had a mothers day drawing I got started on but couldn't finish bc we were so busy.#i still might post it tho so don't worry#and then we drove down to FL where we met up with my mom and aunt and stayed a few days#then we had to rush home because I had work scheduled this weekend#so then we got home and i had barely 45 minutes to get dressed for work & I finished work only for us to go to dinner bc it was my b-day#and then I worked again today and tomorrow will be the first day in forever where I dont need to be anywhere and meet people#oh and I also have summer classes starting on May 30th#I had a lot of fun of course and I enjoy seeing people and like my job but I'm so freaking tired guys and my feet hurt😩#so of I end up not posting any art for InuKag Week ya'll will at least know I'm not dead#i know I usually only post 1 or 2 drawings for the Week anyway but still#inuyasha#kagome higurashi#inukag#the hanyou and his miko#inukag week#inukag week 2023#story of my life
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