#had with peanut butter (peanut paste)

[dinokiwii]

Jefferem peanut butter baby

FINE WHATEVER

thank fucking god they didnt know each other when they were kids

[bobmckenzie]

Bob takes up a sudden interest in my hiking outfit hiking lol

[shigussy]

discovered a food allergy by eating it(again)

[phanboyo]

You know it's bad when you can't decide which you relate to most, "what door? The door to the miCROWWAVE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" or "I say—I think—I haven't—look, I have trouble even mentioning, even saying to myself in my own head the number of years,"

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

I really hope I don't forget to do a voice comparison thing when I go on T

Although, I do have some clips of my voice already, so if I do forget then I can use those 💪

Also when I get top surgery, I'll do shirtless pics after the scars heal up!!

(I had to wear my binder for a long time yesterday, I was so sweaty 😭 don't wear your binders for too long because it can also constrict your breathing! Also I tried using the trans tape stuff but... I move around a lot and it's not sticky enough for me hrrrghhhh 😭)

[danakin-skywalker]

happy ween 🎃

[jellybeanium124]

I got sick right when I needed to go grocery shopping too which is just like... the worst timing -_-

[patheticlittleguy]

stepping out of the woods- The first chunk of Peanut Butter's recovery story. Splitting it up because it's too long for tumblr's text editor?

Jaime sits on her front step, smoking for the first time in several months. She leans heavily against the exterior wall of her house, her scalp aching from all the bobby pins that her costume requires. The trailer park sounds like a car radio thumping in the distance, and exhaustion, and a single, distant songbird. The cigarette is the least self-destructive desire she's had this evening. She misses her ex, Noah, and the way he'd kiss her after they had a screaming match.

To her right, the edge of the trailer park is marked by a copse of trees. On the other side of it is an office building, and some buildings that Jaime doesn't know the uses of. She sees a figure in the trees. A person moving slowly forward. If they are a resident of the trailer park, they're not someone that Jaime has met. He has dark brown hair on his arms that makes Jaime suspect that his long blonde hair is dyed, but it's knotted and shiny with oils. The person also has shorts and a t-shirt, but one arm across their chest, the way Jaime sometimes does when she answers the door and remembers she doesn't have a bra on.

The person steps onto the dry, brown grass of the property, and crouches down low. She looks up at Jaime through a curtain of dirty hair, with big brown eyes. Jaime knows that expression, and turns her head slightly to look at the backyard of the next trailer over. In the periphery of her vision, the person sits, staring. They look old enough to be in college, but look at Jaime like a scared child.

After a long pause, Jaime looks directly at her, and says, "you stared long enough?"

The person meets her gaze, and then ducks her head down, and then looks back up. Maybe the girl is tripping, Jaime thought. Or maybe she needs help.

Jaime finds the gentle voice that teenagers tend to be receptive to, and says, "what's caught your attention, then? Something on your mind?"

Again, the girl ducks her head down, and then runs her fingers through her hair. They only reach down to her cheek when they are stopped dead in the mats. She glances up and down, between the ground and her hair, the hand tangled in it, her hair, the ground, her hair, Jaime, her hair, Jaime, the ground.

"Hey, sweetheart, can you look at me?" Jaime puts out her cigarette. The girl looks up at her. "I'm Jaime. You got a name, sweetheart?"

The girl mouths something, looking puzzled. Her gaze drifts to the side. Jaime suspects more and more that she's on something. Probably psychedelics. Maybe with a side of the sort of problems that substances can't fix. The girl is skinny as anything, and there's a hell of a cut on her foot.

Jaime sighs. "Come here, sweetheart. I don't bite." For a long moment, she thinks the girl didn't hear, or wasn't going to listen, but then she shifts forward and crawls. Up close, Jaime notices that the thick hair on the girl's upper arms have dark spots. The girl carries her body low to the ground, like a wary animal.

The girl comes up to the bottom of the stairs, and leans back into a squat. She grips the railing in one hand, and rests the other on a stair. She ducks her head down for a moment, and then looks up at Jaime. She scrunches up her nose, and snorts, like she's trying to get a bad smell out of her nostrils.

"Yeah, I know, sorry. Cigarettes smell pretty bad, huh?" Jaime watches the girl clamber up the stairs to get right up in Jaime's face. This close, the girl smells like sweat, mostly, but also disinfectant, and a little like an unwashed dog.

The girl reaches up and touches Jaime's hair. It's in need of a wash, too, but just from the typical sweat and oils of a long day at work. She dyed her ringlet curls bright blue to attract the attention of little kids, since she does birthday parties. The girl brushes her fingers through it like she's never seen anything like it.

Jaime feels the need to say something, and then the girl starts scrubbing her scalp. Jaime sighs. "Aw, hell, you're a sweet kid." She turns her head to look the kid in the eye. "You sure you ain't got a name?"

Her hand drifts down to her side. She shrugs. Her eyes start darting around again.

Jaime sets a hand on the girl's scalp, and scratches it gently with her nails. She's gotten a good look at her eyes at this point, and the pupils are even sizes, so at least the spaceyness isn't brain damage. She leans into Jaime's hand, shameless as a dog getting a good brushing. Given the polka-dotted body hair, that comparison might be more accurate than Jaime thinks.

Jaime looks the kid up and down one more time, knowing that she's already getting attached. With the hair tucked back, it was easier to read the kid's face as masculine. He has an adam's apple, and a pale, thin scar on the bridge of his nose that goes all the way to one cheekbone. They look a bit like a lost hiker. A really, really lost hiker.

She sighs. "You need a bath, sweetheart. You wanna come inside?"

The kid glances up at the door, and looks at Jaime with an expression that's a little too sad to be neutral. They shrug.

"You have somewhere else to go?"

The kid pulls away from Jaime's hand, and wraps their arms around themself.

Jaime pats her knees, and then stands stiffly. Her knees crackle as she stands. "Oh, I'm gettin' too old." She holds out a hand to the kid, who seems to have no name, no home, and no voice. "Let's get you cleaned up, and then I'll scrounge us up some dinner, alright?"

[continued here] (or see my pinned post for the masterlist)

[coern]

[beaversatemygrandma]

So my ancient boofer here, who knows nothing but sleep and spaz for a treat or walk, needs a treat toy or puzzle toy. And I have no idea what to get her.

Tabby is 14 and couldn’t care less about toys anymore but immediately sits up to beg on her haunches when presented food. And everything I’m finding is for very small dogs. (I guess she’s just uncommonly old or smth but she’s puppy.) *baby kitten and thigh for scale

Anybody with an old dog have advice on a treat toy?

[chekovsphaser]

I will say Americans really Got It with peanut butter and jelly.

[rhosgobelbun]

steve's been knocking on doors trying to find eddie. he would be annoyed that all he's found are couples and groups in states of undress but this is some random house party, so it's what steve expects.

plus he's too relieved that he hasn't walked in on eddie being a part of any of it.

steve knows it's gross to feel this way. he trusts eddie 100%. it's not right to let past relationship problems cloud his judgement when it comes to what he has with eddie - who hasn't given him any reason to doubt.

but eddie is so new. been together for only 2 months now new.

and tommy was so old. childhood friend/fucked up situationship for 10 long years old. just ended for good a year and a half ago old.

so even though he knows, hopes, prays, that it's ridiculous to compare the two together, steve still checks the bathroom and makes sure the man on his knees in front of some blonde cheerleader isn't his boyfriend.

and then promptly ducks down to avoid a brush the blonde cheerleader throws at him.

'sorry!' steve apologizes. he hurries to slam the door closed and makes his way to the very last room at the end of the hallway.

maybe he left? eddie didn't want to serve here anyway, rich druggie clientele be damned. so even though they came together, maybe eddie had an emergency and-

steve cuts that thought off because well. he found eddie.

'baby!!' his boyfriend exclaims, alone, sitting on the floor in the middle of some random strangers room with a jar of peanut butter. he's got a spoon full of it half way up to his mouth and his eyes are red.

at least 4 brownies deep red.

the wave of relief he feels is actually pretty concerning, but steve will think about that some other time since he's too busy trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the long haird idiot looks.

'eddie, what are you doing?'

eddie looks guilty and for a split second steve thinks maybe he did walk in on eddie with someone else. (maybe he's waiting on them? maybe they already left?)

then eddie holds up the jar of peanut butter and says in the saddest voice, 'i needed it stevie, i don't remember how long it's been since i've had peanut butter. but i didn't think you'd find me! stay back! don't you come any closer!'

so this whole time while steve's been worried that eddie was off doing what tommy used to do to make him jealous, eddie just snuck off and hid away to eat peanut butter because steves' allergic.

starting to snicker, steve goes to sit across from him. 'i can be around it babe, im not gonna die.'

eddie rushes to close the jar, spoon shoved inside and all. he gives steve the stink eye. 'i know what peanut allergies can do to some people. i refuse to watch you blow up like a tomato.'

steve rolls his eyes and reaches out, acting like he's gonna touch the jar.

eddie yells. jumping to his feet, he scurries out of the closet like an over grown rat, 'steve harrington this is exactly why I was trying to eat this away from you!'

steves laughing now, giggling like a hyena. he can't believe he ever doubted this man.

later that night - after eddie has showered and brushed his teeth at least three times - when they're tucked away in eddies room under the covers, steve talks to him about his freak out. eddie apologizes for leaving him alone at a strangers party like that. he holds him close, gives steve a ton of kisses and promises to create a DND character that represents tommy.

'i'll turn him into a toad and kill him off in the most gruesome way imaginable. he'll be murdered to death, the kids will be traumatized. it'll be great. just you wait and see, my love.'

[asexualjedi]

Was reading something that like 50-60 percent of food allergy skin prick tests are false positives? And if u have a positive for a food that you haven’t reacted with that’s a false positive? Idk I slathered some peanut butter on my arm for 10 minutes and nothing happened. I have my first allergy shot appointment the 4th I think I’m just going to grill the doctor and beg for answers/what to do. I feel like I’ve gotten conflicting advice. The papers they gave me said to ignore food at level 3 and 4 but the nurse said I would be fine if hadn’t had reactions before but she also said it might be causing my heart burn and ahhh!!

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

realized today that maybe the the psych guy was right and I don't have ADHD, just that my symptoms are caused by chronic pain

[strawberrysainz]

picture you. lando norris

“ a particularly lovely day spent in london with your beloved boyfriend. plus, you can’t get enough of each other. ”

lando norris x reader

a warning — smut. 18+! minors dni. crude language, alcohol consumption, mentions of food.

The first thing you could smell was the traitorous scent of a freshly-brewed coffee that morning. He was sitting at the little table that you had always thought never fit the overall aesthetic of the kitchen.

He was typing on a laptop when you entered. “Lando,” you murmured. He looked up, and even when trying to scold him, your heart skipped a beat when he pushed up those glasses that made him ridiculously good looking. “Hmm?”

“I thought we agreed to stop the coffees for a while, didn’t your trainer suggest it’s better for your nervous system…?” Suddenly you were shy. But the feeling soon dissipated when his mouth moved from sipping the drink to a smirk. “Babe.” You could tell he felt a little guilty, though, and he tried to hide it by looking back at his laptop.

You shook your head as you moved around him to look out the window. Early mornings in London were your favourite; it was the first time that he had come to stay at your place and not his during a break. You could hear the neighbour’s kids playing outside, revelling in their Saturday morning.

You turned to watch him crack his knuckles as he poured over what looked like a lengthy email. He started chatting about something and you sort of tuned out, watching him flex each finger. When he stretched out his hands, something made your stomach flutter.

The coffee did indeed smell good, and you ended up taking the mug from him, your fingertips brushing lightly. Even after months of knowing him, you still blushed like a kid when he looked at you. You took a sip and set it back down on the table.

“Are you hungry? I could make you-“

He was looking at you over the edge of his laptop.

You shook your head. “No thanks.” The thought of Lando Norris standing there in your kitchen making you eggs and toast was too much to bear.

He watched as you boosted yourself onto the kitchen counter. “You’re so funny,” he murmured and you shot him a look before pulling out your phone.

“I love the view out of the window.”

You looked up (as if it hadn’t been the background to your entire childhood) and looked at him, nodding. “The best view of the house,” you smiled.

“I don’t think so,” he was getting up to run a hand up your leg and you pushed him away, giggling. “You’re awful. What’s your plan for today?” You ask.

“Not much. Emails. Then gym at 4.”

You found yourself gazing at him again and zoned back in when he called your name again. “Sorry?” You blushed a little.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to do anything today if you’re not busy.”

“Oh.” You paused. “I wanted to go grocery shopping. But that’s probably boring for you.” You let out a little giggle at his face. He always looked so endearing when you thought you were being boring.

“Any Saturday spent with you is never boring.” He was giggling and you swatted his chest as you walked past. “Calm it.”

He grabbed you. “Hey,” he whispered, arms wrapping around your waist. You smiled at him. “Hey,” you replied softly. His lips pressed against yours and you melted a little. “Let’s go do your boring grocery shopping,” he joked and picked up the car keys. You ran to change out of your pajamas.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

You put on an Otis Redding album, murmuring along before you were at the local Tesco. You picked up a basket and he linked his arm through yours.

As Lando was checking through the different options of sugar-free peanut butter, you got on your tiptoes to pick the jar of crunchy peanut butter off the shelf. His hand rested on your lower back as he reached for it.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

You were curled up on the couch as he kept on sighing with the emails. You paused your TikTok scrolling. “What’s up?”

“These people are fucking crazy.” He sighed and shut it closed.

You laughed and he did too. He wrapped his arms around you. You could hear the dog barking next door.

“Have I ever told you…” he began kissing your cheek. He was kissing your neck now and you were curling into his touch. “Hmm?” You said, absentmindedly, and he laughed against your neck. “Stop zoning out.”

“I can’t help it!” You protested. “You make my mind go blank when you start looking at me like that.”

He took that as a very big compliment and started pulling you into his lap.

You were interrupted by a knock on the door and you pulled back, staring at him quizzically.

“Fuck. Nutritionist.”

You flicked his ear and laughed when he pulled you up from the couch and kissed you deeply. You pushed him away.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

A few hours later, you were standing in the bar with him and sniffling along to the singer. He was singing along, quietly, like everyone else with a beer in hand, and he was standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. Two friends had invited you last minute and you had ditched the night in to come and support this upcoming band.

“Love you,” he whispered and you leaned up to kiss him.

The singer pointed at the two of you and you both smiled wide.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

In the car on the way home, you pointed out the lipstick that stained the top of the collar of his shirt. He grinned.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

He was pushing you against the wall and you were protesting, making him lock the front door and take you out of view from the glass panel. Rain was beginning to patter against the windows and you shivered deliciously as he ran a hand up your shirt.

“Can I make it up to you for this afternoon?” He murmured, head burying into your neck, and you were muttering something stupid, nodding, and his hand was running under your skirt and he grasped the lacy edge of your underwear on your hip, his hands warm and his heart beating fast.

His lips were pressing against yours and your bodies were moving fluidly, in sync, his touch earth-shattering.

Leading you to your bedroom, he pushed you back against the sheets, your hair fanning out, contrasting the crisp white.

Sliding off your skirt and your underwear, his eyes were dark, a cheeky grin on his face before his lips pressed against your lower stomach, then to your thighs, and the cocktails were making you grip his hair and shove his face in between your legs. He moaned at the rough action, and your heart dropped hearing the vibration against your pussy.

“Pretty,” he murmured before he was groaning about how wet you were and you might have been on fire the way his tongue was moving.

“Just… there.” You gasped and whimpered and you were on the edge of the precipice before he was gone, and you took a deep breath, prepared to beg.

He moved up again and he was kissing you; you could taste yourself on his tongue and you were helping him take off his jeans, and his underwear, and you took his hard cock in your hands, swiping at your pussy before grasping him, up and down. When he felt your arousal on his cock he let out a loud moan, and you wanted him so desperately you might have sacrificed anything.

“Baby,” you murmured, and his hips were moving before you went let go and get on your knees; he was moving you into his lap and he met your entrance. You moaned, and he was bouncing you up and down on his cock.

“Oh, you feel so good,” he sighed, and you were agreeing loudly before you felt that familiar tightness in your stomach and you were all open mouths and whispering wildly dirty things before he was murmuring for you to come and you obliged, falling apart on top of him as his finger went to meet your clit, and you wriggled with nearly too much pleasure. Then his breath was faltering, and his hips were slowing, and you felt him come inside you, moaning into his ear as his big hands gripped your shoulders.

He kissed you, pulling you into him. “Love you, baby.” He whispered, and you were giggling, out of breath.

⛲️💫🍵🏹

The coffee machine was the first thing you went for the next morning, and as he appeared in the doorway of the homely kitchen with a stupid little look of strictness on his face you laughed out loud, offering him his cappuccino, a peace offering.

hope you enjoyed ⚡️❤️‍🔥🙏 please like, comment and reblog!!! soooo appreciated.

masterlist

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny is desperately running away. Not from a robber, they’re not much of a threat to him anyways, but from a really intense Batman.

“Oh my ancients,” he muttered as he sprinted away from the dude swinging above him. “Can you please go away?! I already paid you back, dude!” Danny raised his voice at the swooping figure above him. He wished he could go ghost, but that would break his cover so fast as a “meta” or whatever.

“Stop running,” Batman landed in front of him, growl reverberating around them.

“Stop chasing me then! It’s bad manners!” And Danny’s from the midwest, so that’s an actual concern.

“How did you find Two-Face?” Batman loomed before stepping back when Danny’s shoulders curled inwards.

“Oh. Is that what this is all about?” Danny huffed. “It was self defense! And… the pun was too good to not, you know? Yeah, no, I had to. Prime opportunity.”

The cowl might hide it but Danny always knew when people are doing that nose pinch of exasperation. It’s a talent he carefully cultivated through shenanigans and puns.

Batman? Definitely inwardly pinching the bridge of his nose.

“How did you find him? Harvey Dent is a dangerous criminal.”

“In my defense,” Danny started, like a teenager caught guiltily shoving the entire cookie jar into his room instead of leaving some for the rest of the family. “He found me first. Well, no, he found the kids first. He started it!”

Batman somehow raised an eyebrow. How the hell does he do that?? The cowl covered the entire upper half of his face! Danny squinted at him. Is Batman a meta?

“Listen, I didn’t start it, but my sister sure as heck taught me how to end it. It’s not my fault Dent couldn’t handle a beat down. And I told you I was gonna pay you back for that one (1) Big Dent! If you wanted cash, you should have said so!”

“Hrm.”

Maybe it was the fancy gear. Maybe it was the pointy head thing. Batman reminded Danny way too much of Vlad and he got the ick.

“Okay, well, good talk, bye!” Danny ducked and ran, faster than he had before.

Batman grappled up and forward, trying to grab him. Danny, with years of dodge training under his belt and impeccable teenage instincts of gtfo, managed to dodge Batman’s reaching hands with a hollered “OPE!”

“Bye! See you never!” Danny ducked behind an alley and turned invisible as Batman swooped past.

When he was sure the vigilante was gone, he slowly faded into the visible spectrum.

“Jeez. Better warn Amy about this. Maybe I should hide in Crime Alley until this blows past.”

——

Gotham’s underbelly had a new tale to sling around their bars that week and a new demographic to be wary of.

The Terrors, the kiddie gang that ran perpendicular to Crime alley, was preyed on by Harvey Dent.

“What do you think you’re doing to them?!”

“Ahhhhhh!!!” Harvey screamed, flailing as a creature of shadows and claws- god damn those sharp ass claws- descended upon him, scarring it just one side but both sides of his very vulnerable face!

“Back the hell off of my kids, you fashion reject!”

As for Harvey… well, he’s developed an aversion to the smell of peanut butter and small children.

——

Batman, hunting down Danny because he’s worried about the endangered meta kid: you left me a Dent.

Danny, because he sees a vigilante bum rushing him: I have no cash! That’s the only way I can pay you back rn!

——

Batman, trying to lecture Danny about safety because he’s a worried batdad:

Danny: ew a rich stalker trying to be my dad!

@tricksterwitchkat can you tell I’ve been thinking about your pun for days? This is for you, thank you so much for that pun, it made my entire week.