#haha omg it's 20 paragraphs

[technecat]

Uh, buckle up, it's a long one.

I got an upper endoscopy today. That's the one where they stick a camera down your throat and look at your esophagus and stomach and you have to do a full fast (not even water) beforehand. I can't tell you much about the procedure part because I was so exhausted that at the first hint of sedation, I was OUT. What I can tell you is how badly I messed up preparing for this thing that went perfectly, smoothly, 100% fine.

I have Anxiety. I like to give it the capital A out of respect, but also because it's part of GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is my official diagnosis. Those of you with GAD probably know why I'm specifying, but those without are probably confused at why I'm specifically mentioning GAD instead of just anxiety. Pack in because we're talking about brain feelings and emotions for a sec.

So, GAD is a funky thing because it basically amounts to: A Low Level of Anxiety All The Time: But No Reason, Just Because. It's just like having a layer of anxiety on everything all the time, no triggers required (but things are still triggering! Trust me!). I take medication for it and have been for the past 20 years. It helps a lot! I live a pretty low-anxiety life with meds and the tools I've gained from therapy over the years. If I may toot my own dang horn, I am pretty good at handing my anxiety.

What I'm not good at handling is unknown experiences. I like to have trial runs of things. I like to practice. I also like to know as much as possible about a thing before I try doing it, so that I can have some modicum of control over my emotions and actions when I do it. Now, this isn't to say that I am not extremely adaptable to new situations because- whew- I can adapt to anything as a new normal in about a day, no problem. I'm great at mentally placing myself in a new situation ahead of time and getting comfy.

Which is why the sheer amount of anxiety that I endured in the 24 hours before my procedure was strange. I had already read up on the procedure, talked over the phone with the nurses, and planned out my preparation phase. I was not worried about it going poorly and I was only slightly concerned about being uncomfortable. "Normal people" amounts of anxiety over a new thing. NBD. Really, I wasn't nervous about the medical procedure at all.

What I was nervous about was...the fact that I should be feeling nervous about the procedure. And here's where GAD really gets ya'. The only anxiety trigger was that I was feeling too calm about the whole thing. And again, anxiety folks probably get me here, but it's freaking wild to realize that you are anxious because you feel like you have to be, and not because you have a reason to be. Like my brain was kicking me for slacking on my fight or flight.

Yesterday, the day before the procedure, was a fairly normal Monday for me. Back to classes, back to reminding students that it's not time to relax yet because our final project starts next week, trying to get them to critique each other's work even though it was Senior Skip Day (no one warned me) so a quarter of my students were gone. I was busy with grading and planning out next week, so I didn't really have a chance to think about being nervous for more than a few minutes. I even talked to a coworker at lunch who'd had the same procedure and walked away unscathed and unable to remember any of it.

By the end of the school day though, I could feel it setting in. I was getting a pretty bad migraine (unusual for me on a Monday; my chronic migraines are on a Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday cycle right now) so I guessed it was probably stress and went home right away to lie down.

I did not get back out of bed until this morning. My migraine attack got so bad I was nauseated most of the evening, which really isn't what you want when you can only eat solid food until 8 PM that night, but my brain and my stomach were fighting each other tooth and nail for no reason so I managed a few bits of a tortilla with cream cheese in it, some pear-apple sauce, and 4 oz of oat milk with a little protein mix in it. I topped it all off with a liquid antacid right at 8 so my efforts would not go to waste, and then was only allowed water until midnight.

A little aside here to say that I don't eat a lot but I take small meals quite often. I generally do: liquid breakfast, second breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and sometimes another snack/light dessert if I can squeeze it in. I'm not able to eat solid food in general before 7am or after 8pm. All of this is a result of having a very fast metabolism and what I'd always been told was borderline hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). I always wake up extremely hungry and thirsty and sometimes even dizzy and cranky and can rarely wait more than an hour to have breakfast. If you're following along, you might guess what my next big problem was.

It's now 10 PM the night before and I have sipped a bit of water and taken my normal medication, but nothing else. I've been lying in bed reading WebToons for about 5 hours. Normally, I would already be asleep as I get up at 7 for work, but my appointment wasn't until 8:45 the next day so I decided- bear with me reader, I'm sorry, hindsight is 20/20- I decided to stay up as late as possible so I could force myself to sleep in until the last moment and not have to deal with feeling hungry.

I should count myself extremely lucky that I have had the great fortune in life to have forgotten that hunger makes it hard to sleep. I went to bed at midnight out of sheer exhaustion and woke up...at 7am when my alarm went off. I managed to fall back to sleep until the 7:30 "you're about to be late, leave now" alarm went off and my brain said OK, it's Tuesday let's go. I could not fall back to sleep and what sleep I had was not quality (you never get really good quality sleep from exhausting your brain into it).

So now I'm: hungry, dehydrated, about 3 hours underslept, and extremely, extremely tired and sore from the migraine I had the night before. (Another small aside: the last phase of a migraine attack is the postdrome a.k.a the hangover phase. It feels exactly like a bad hangover and mine usually last around 12-48 hours.)

I am so pissed off and exhausted I have tears in my eyes. I have royally screwed this whole thing up for myself already and it was only partially my fault (partially just bad migraine luck) which made me even angrier. It took me 10 minutes to get dressed because my postdrome brain fog + drowsiness + hunger meant I couldn't focus on anything, let alone finding clothes to put on my body. I kept snapping in and out of being nervous and being too tired to be nervous.

The 20 minutes in the waiting room is absolute torture on my migraine-fried brain. They have a morning news station on the TV that is blasting political attack ads and local news. It switches to a morning talk show with a lady who screams every word she says. Someone nearby is letting their kid play an iPad game with the volume all the way up. I have literally curled up on a chair shielding my eyes from the florescent lighting. My partner is there with me, but he can't do anything to help my brain stop being a stupid baby. I can't sleep because I can hear every damn noise and conversation in the room and see the lights through my eyelids. I was, as they say, extremely overstimulated.

When they call my name I hear it but my body refuses to move. My husband shakes me but it's still impossible for about 10 seconds. I mentally note that my blood sugar must be extremely low-- while simultaneously my partner mentions to the nurse that my blood sugar is low. I have trouble standing and have to lean on him until they get me a wheelchair. They take my blood sugar and it's fine. "It's actually very good! It's 93", chirps the nurse. I don't know what that number means because, like it mentioned, I was only ever diagnosed with borderline hypoglycemia and just always assumed my blood sugar was the problem.

The rest of the stay was uneventful. Like I said at the beginning, everything went smoothly, I don't remember anything from the actual procedure beyond being hooked up to an IV and told to lie on my side. I very briefly spoke with the doctor who apologized that I had a headache from my migraine and when I told him I was used to it he frowned and said, "I don't like that you have gotten used to it". Me neither, bud. But what I remember saying aloud was "it's fine, I'm fine".

I woke up back in the room I started in with my husband sitting in the same place and the nurses popping in and telling me to rest as long as I needed, but also I was good to go whenever "and eat soft foods for a while". I don't remember getting home, only that I had a smoothie and took a 4 hour nap immediately. I am hungry but otherwise unfazed.

Except...the blood sugar thing is still bugging me. And it was bugging me the whole time I was lying in the bed trying to let the IV do its job and chill me out. If it's not my blood sugar dropping that causes me to be so sluggish in the morning, or cease functioning properly if I don't eat every 2 hours (4 maximum) then what the heck have I been dealing with for 20 years?

I've only been diagnosed with chronic migraine since 2019 and they only started being chronic in my 30s; before that, attacks just happened occasionally. I had them misdiagnosed them as food poisoning and sinusitis several times. (If you get sinus headaches a lot, look into seeing an ENT and Neurologist, you might be surprised. And yes, migraine attacks can cause nasal congestion!) So, migraine doesn't seem like the long-term answer even if it may have been the reason why I had issues today. So I guess once we figure out what's wrong with my stomach, I'll need to go to the doctor again and figure out what's wrong with...whatever is wrong with me.

Anyway, I don't have a fun way to wrap up this story, I just wanted to share it with y'all.

[weer02]

Psst! If it's all good, can I ask you some q's from that post? 10, 17, and 23?

@chichiricatsan Thanks for replying to my ask! To be be honest, I relate to your answer to the 6th question, especially proofreading and editing, ugh! And for me as a non-native speaker, it's the constant uncertainty if the grammar and sentence structure is correct D:

Surprisingly writing is going on good, chapter 20 is a few paragraphs away from being done! It might come out somewhere around next week, yay finally!

Now, I'm gonna answer to the questions! Hope it won't come out too mono-thematic, 'cause the only thing I have to talk about is my current caulscott fic :d

10.How often do you stick to your original plot?

I barely stick to the original plot. The only thing that the first outline and the final outline have in common is the core relationship, beginning and the ending, though the ending has a lot of new things added in the final version. It's like hmmm... it's like the destination in the final version is the same as it was in the original, but the journey is completely different. Omg, I hope I make sense with this!

17. What/Who influenced you to start writing and why do you write?

This is gonna be an easy one — caulscott stories and my overall fascination with the dynamic of this ship.

23. Tell me about your newest WIP idea. Even if you haven't written it down. Even if it will die in a matter of days.

Sadly, I don't have any new WIP ideas. I never thought about myself as a "full-time" writer, my fic is more of like... one-off fun project that came with the caulscott brainrot, haha. Who knows, maybe I'll get struck with an idea one day, 'cause despite all of the struggles that come with it, writing is very fun and fulfilling. I'd love to do it again!

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

I was legit crying REAL TEARS reading the last chapter oh my god!!! Squealing and making too much noise for my dark 3 am bedroom lol

“George, the first boy Matty ever kissed; George, who showed him what love was. George and his eyes, his hands, his mouth and the rest of his body, that body Matty had at some point convinced himself might have been sculpted and breathed life into especially for him.”

This bit in particular is what made me start crying. Insane and out of this world and mind blowing writing!!! I will always be a team George girlie but I love love love your dedication to Matty and Ross’s relationship in this story holy moly! They’re all hot AF. All the details and links in every chapter just blew me away. Thank you SO much for writing and posting.

I think I would just pass away with delight if you ever wrote/posted that delicious couch threesome alternative scene. Pls let Matty show both boys how much he loves them ugh I was holding my breath the entire time. I’m also team Matty has way too much history with both band mates for him to pick just one to be intimate with/ be in love with and they’re all okay with that!!! I know not everyone feels the same way lol Although I love Ross’s possessiveness and faithfulness and the awareness that George and Matty’s relationship will never not be the healthiest given everything stacked against them (cough charli cough) is a big factor too.

Looking forward to a potential sequel and anything else you write for the 1975 fandom ❤️I’m still losing my mind over the Matty and Ross Malaysia kiss like come on!! “try not to make out with Ross for 20 years” babes just say that you’ve kissed like that before, we all know haha thank you again for giving me something to look forward to every Monday for the past 6 months omg I’m dead

yours was one of the first anons I got and I'm sorry I'm getting to it so late but I read it while on a work retreat thing this morning and I wanted to give it the recognition it deserved

yeahhh that George bit was hard to write but so so needed, I was pushed to add it and I'm so glad it's in there now because it's one of my favourite paragraphs in the whole chapter 💔

glad you enjoyed the sex scenes and adding another tick onto the tally chart for the threesome--maybe I should do a ridiculous poll to figure out how many people want it and if there's actually anyone who doesn't want it, would it be interesting?👀

I'm also happy to hear I have you on board for anything else I might bring to the fandom, I have many ideas and a world of possibilities now and I can't wait to get started on more. taking a short break for now, but I will definitely be back soon!

also yeah Matty is a dirty dirty liar and we all knew that but omg PANTS ON FIRE for claiming that he and Ross never snogged before, it was way too practiced to have been the first time sorry everyone

[tosuckmyweenis]

omg i dig it 100%, i love rough play and i definitely love being manhandled by leon ^^

class is over so i figured i might finish up a paragraph or two before heading back to lunch haha (i am deranged for even thinking about writing in my 20 measley minutes of lunch)

ALSO!!! i had this other thing where he *kinda* does something while you're asleep, he *was* aware that you had birth control (at least that's what i'm thinking of doing) and so the least he could do was fill you up before heading down to the hotel's lobby for some breakfast hehehehe

oinko

I just woke up and the fact that this wasn't my reality is 🙄

Somno is something I do want to get into eventually 👀

He'd definitely bring you breakfast in bed after 🤭

[look-at-the-soul]

Hello! It's gossip girl🥰 Ok so idk if you'll see this but I can't send stuff to your other side blog idk why tumblr is weird. And I guess first off yes! I did see that this account got put in jail and boo tumblr!!😭😭 Hopefully it will get fixed soon!! It seems like it's doing that kind of stuff a lot more recently!! 😭

Family time was fun!! I was traveling back all of yesterday and I love flying but it's also stressful 😂😂 But I had a great time with my family! I loved getting to see my sister I'm still not super use to being away from her!

Also I'm glad my rambling doesn't bother you😂 sometimes I feel like I get off track a lot😂 But yes I'm also glad there are no limitations on word count! It took me a bit to figure out that feature (it can be finicky when I'm using it online) it means I can leave detailed stuff😂

And yes! Posting something only to realize some words are wrong a few hours letter is the worst😭 I'll defiantly have to look up that wpswriter too! It sounds good! I think I've tried using the unsaved document recovery thing on Word a few times but my problem comes with not saving it enough to make the save useful😂 I need to save like every other paragraph instead of every few of them😂

AND OMG PUPPYSITTING!!! That sounds so fun🥰🥰🥰 I hope that's going well!! Also I hope your brother has fun at the F1! I've heard those are super cool!!!

and lol😂 my weather has been pretty similarish. I'll go to my first class in a sweatshirt and still be cold and then by my third class it's like 20 degrees hotter and humid😂😂

❤️❤️

Hey GG!

I can see the messages on my original blog (there are other things I can’t do), I think it was around Oct 19, weird thing is most of the blogs are released a couple of days - or a week later, but not in my case… so I hope you get to see this.

Are you having a good Sunday? I hope so!

I’m so happy to hear that, family time is always a good time 🙂 aww that’s cute! She must be a good sister then, I just stole borrowed a necklace I gave my mum for her birthday, and I’m just glad I don’t have to share it with any sisters 🤷🏻‍♀️🙊 haha (don’t worry my mum will get it back).

Not at all!!! But I feel bad I don’t get to reply you sooner. But you never could never bother me, you’re always welcome here. Good thing ey? At least tumblr won’t limit us on asks 🙃🙃 it would be a nightmare (don’t give them any more ideas)

Apart from being the worst, I feel bad for writing things that just don’t makes sense, but autocorrect has its own mind 😂 oh no!! Have you lost loads of work then?? 🤯 please do! Every paragraph is super valuable and important! 🤗

Thanks 😊 he’s a sweet little thing, I’m taking him for a walk later. It is!

There’s a local saying here that says, you have to be ready for any kind of weather during the day, so bring a Mary Poppins bag with you 😂 how is college going?

Lots of love your way!

[nettlestingsoup]

Hi, I'm sorry if this is weird or anything, I actually rarely use Tumblr so I don't know if this is the right way to do it but I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love your writing on ao3!

I'm really looking forward to what you'll write next, not to put any presure on you! Please take your time, writing isn't easy!

I will be leaving comments on your fics but I want to read them again first to do it properly.

I wasn't sure about sending this but then I saw your post about Merlin and I knew I had to, it's a sign hahah. It's such a comfort series and Morgana was my favorite growing up.

I'm rambling at this point but I just wanted to let you know that omg the way you write!!!! I'm in love. And I will leave comments to let you know on your fics as well, just give me some time haha

Also the writer game sounds fun so can I ask number seven? You can pick which fic, I'm just curious. And if that's too difficult, which I understand, you've written a lot, could I ask number twelve?

Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

hi! good evening! sending asks is a really great way to say hi to someone on tumblr, so 10/10, you're doing great!

thank you for the compliment; i have a few things in the works right now that i think could be finished within the next few months if i push, so hopefully i'll be able to post something on ao3 again soon! i really miss it to be honest.

if you leave comments i will absolutely reply to them, but i currently have a bit of a backlog (i got it down from about 60 to about 20 which felt great) so it may take me a while! i love getting comments though, so please don't let that deter you.

i may have to ask you to pick a fic for number seven... i've written so much and so many different genres that choosing one favourite line/paragraph is just... impossible. i love a lot of things i've written but i love them all for different reasons. as for a headcanon... i'll probably keep writing chan and seungmin as slightly sad. i do it a lot, and it's just easy to give them that personality trait for plot reasons.

and yes!!! merlin!!! i was obsessed as a kid and me and my coworkers are rewatching bits... morgana was one of my first crushes i think, i just didn't realise because i was ten and no one had told me i could have a crush on a girl yet. it's a great show. i still can't bear to rewatch season five.

thank you for this ask! it was a lot of fun and it's lovely to meet you <3

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #5

Satan: Using Microsoft word

*moves an image a mm to the left*

All text and images shift. Four new pages appear. Paragraph breaks from Union. A swarm of commas buzzes at the window. In the distance, sirens.

•

Asmodeus: Just learned that my “pupil” is a muscle and that means that fact about your eyes dilating when you see someone you like actually means that you’re subconsciously and uncontrollably flexing at your crushes whenever you see them

Mammon: Kind of like a butthole!

Asmodeus: Thanks

•

Leviathan: My stomach growled super loud in French omg

Leviathan: I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak French. It growled in French class I apologize

Satan: Bonjour

Beelzebub: Le growl

Diavolo: Hon hon hon feed me a baguette

Lucifer: Why do I even go on this website

•

Solomon: My friend who works with clowns says that mimes came first so technically clowns are just scene mimes

Satan: Your friend who works with clowns

•

Mammon: How can lawyers argue without crying?

Satan: I am a lawyer and let me tell you it gets like super close dude

•

Simeon: You know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big for it?? What is it???

Barbatos: Hermit crab??

•

Belphegor: As a college student my favorite words are “cancelled” and “free”

Satan: Free pizza is cancelled

Beelzebub: Why would you even say something like that?

•

Simeon: Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particularly bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while laying face down in the dirt

•

MC: Ways to look more angelic

• carry flowers everywhere

• Pink or gold eyeshadow

• Wear long ankle dresses

• Soft humming

• Have a pink glowy blush

Raphael: • Wield a flaming sword

Leviathan: • Be covered in eyes

Simeon: three pairs of wings

Mammon: Wheel

Michael: Announce your arrival by screaming “FEAR NOT!” everywhere you go

•

Mammon: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we do the even know each other?

Leviathan: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

•

Satan: Sorry I have bubonic plague I can’t hang out tonight

Solomon: Aw rats

•

Satan: My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it.

Belphegor:

Someone: Hey, can I borrow a pen?

Me, getting a bag of pens out: Absolutely not, perish

•

Satan: 8 years old. College reading level. The weight of the world is on my shoulders.

Leviathan: 20 years old. Illiterate, the weight of the universe has given me chronic back pain

•

MC:

Mosquito: *about to bite me*

Me: umm I have a boyfriend

Asmodeus: *little giggles* daddy’s the only one allowed to put their mouth on baby girl - baby girl

MC:

Me:

Mosquito: yikes

•

Satan: Throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up

Solomon: Throwing handles at people who need to get a grip

Leviathan: Throwing refrigerators at people who need to chill

Mammon: Throwing scissors at people who need to “cut it out”

Diavolo: Throwing clocks at people who need to get with the times

Beelzebub: Throwing matches at people who need to get fired up

Belphegor: Throwing a brick at someone to kill them

•

Mammon: Idk how I’d survive without water

Barbatos: You wouldn’t

Mammon: Haha. I feel like that sometimes too. Glad someone loves water as much as I do :)

•

Leviathan: My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke with my family

Leviathan: They seem like nice people

•

Mammon: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Mammon: Homiecide

Lucifer: Murder

Mammon: Homiecide

Last • Next

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[jthebeauty]

Hi hi! I’m gonna ask multiple questions from the lil ask game cause I’m nosy HAHA but also cause I really respect you as a writer and I’d love to know how you’d answer these 😗❤️

Do you prefer to edit as you go, or once the piece is finished?

Best writing advice for other writers?

If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

omg hi sister wifeeee! thank you so much for the kind words omg?!?! 🥺i respect you more than i respect myself as a writer NGL SDSKNDKFJDGNDD 💙

20. Do you prefer to edit as you go, or once the piece is finished?

tbh both! i always make sure to re-read a fresh sentence (or paragraph) to make sure it makes sense before moving on (my brain is just wired like that). and as much as a i HATE proofreading, i always read over the finished piece because i hate typos so much... they make me so freaking embarrassed. 😭 i'm very much of a perfectionist when it comes to grammar/things making sense & i really can't help it. 😖

29. Best writing advice for other writers?

omg hmmm. i would say to indulge in whatever tickles your tastebuds! if angst is your fave genre to write, then write it! if you're the only person within your friend group who likes taboo shit, then who tf cares! write to your heart's content & remember that it's okay to write self-indulgent shit all the time— the writing world is your playground! also don't worry if your writing makes you cringe, it's so natural. i cringe all the damn time smh.💙

6. If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

something like this NJDFGSNEBF

AND THIS ASJBDFJKNSA

I PLAN/BLUEPRINT MY SHIT YES. IT'S A MESSY PROCESS BUT IT COMES TOGETHER IN THE END SDNFGKDS.

i do “fill below”s when i feel sleepy or suddenly uninterested or unable to continue. so i just jot down the stuff in my mind so i can continue from when i stopped!!!

[weyheyjxlya]

０４． Ｏｕｔ ｏｆ Ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒ

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌

*•.¸♡ synopsis ♡¸.•*

You came to watch the Schweiden Adlers vs. MSBY Jackals with your childhood best friend Yachi and the squad. First-year squad. And that includes Tsukishima Kei. That tall, blonde, gorgeous, salty, and once was yours but you got to let go four years ago. With hearts thumping loud and thoughts screaming out on its own. “I miss you. I’ve missed you to the point that I can’t breathe. I miss you, please be back” These words are just waiting to be spoken like some kind of soulmates telepathy. Will they be able to say it? Will they still be able to fulfill that promise? or…

*•.¸♡ warning: manga spoilers! | curses

*•.¸♡ reminder: every chapter has its own music to listen to. just click the lyrics  which is the first quoted paragraph right after the banner. listen to it while reading the chapter if you want to. after this au is done, I'll compile all songs and create its own playlist in Spotify that you can listen to.

m.list | 03 | 04 | 05

“No matter where you are You'll always have my heart No matter where you are I'll love you from afar”

"and I refuse to drink with anyone who doesn't appreciate Kahlua and milk" Tsukishima exclaimed "Stingyshima," you mumbled thUd pshshshshshshhh Suddenly, the sound of magazine dropping startled the four as Tsukishima dropped his pamphlet due to the shock that the person that he didn't see nor hear for the past four years was now in front of him breathing and still, ever so lovely. His heart sung a lullaby as the sight in front of him tug his heartstrings. His ears rung as he heard your voice like it’s some sweet melody. He felt his blood rush through his veins as he registers your image through his brain. You've changed. Physically but not wholly because he hoped that you're still the same person that he fell in love with. You looked happier. He knows that you're a renowned writer now and now achieving the dream that you've discussed with him over the time that you're together. You looked blooming. With no hesitation, he fell in love with you over again. "Ahh, It's Y/N, she's here. Finally, you're here. I've missed you love." he thought to himself sweetly. "But you looked so fine right now. Maybe you've got someone greater right now. Damn, he's so lucky. Maybe I just don't dwell in your life anymore." he realizes as sadness pooled his heart suddenly from the thought that there's no more hope of loving you again anymore. His inferiority complex got its way again. ~~ "Uhm, earth to our Stingyshimaaa" you've jokingly said as you tried to keep things natural. You and Yachi waved your hands to him in unison whilst Yamaguchi's helping Tsukishima with his dropped business. Tsukishima pretended as if nothing happened as he fixed his posture as soon as he took the pamphlet from Yamaguchi's hand and adjusted his eyeglasses as he continued to dwell himself into the pamphlet. "Oh, you're back," Tsukishima uttered calmly but his stomach's lurching from the thought that he can never feel your hold again. 

Everything's kinda uncomfortable because you're not in the same class with your childhood best friend Yachi. But no, you've decided to be strong, like headstrong! "I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN!" you kept on to yourself to the point that it's starting to be your daily mantra from now on. So you fixed yourself, your posture, and you got rid of that uncomfortable state of yours and have started to look around the class and just started observing.

From:  You

To:  Yacchan  (｡♡‿♡｡)

Subject:  Separated

Why are we separated Yacchan?? (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

~~~

From: You

To:   Y/N-chan  (｡♡‿♡｡)

Subject:   Re: Separated

I don't even know but any guys over there? (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

~~~

From:  You

To:  Yacchan  (｡♡‿♡｡)

Subject:  Simp

Hmm I see one. And he's beside me. 

He lookin sooo fineee...  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (ﾟοﾟ人))

~~~

From: You

To:   Y/N-chan  (｡♡‿♡｡)

Subject:   Re: Simp

⊙.☉

Chattering voices flooded, arms linking its way to another, utensils clacking, and bentos making its sounds around the room, you felt uncomfortable again. "Urgh" you exclaimed to yourself as loneliness and sun rays kept making its way onto you. "Huh?" suddenly, heat crept its way onto your ears and cheek as this tall and blonde guy that you're talking about with Yachi opened his book and slouched his body onto the table with a book in his hand as he swiftly blocked the sunrays that have been annoying the hell out of you since earlier. "Tsuki!! let's eat lunch!!" the green-headed boy exclaimed as he happily approached and invited this unknown specie. "Shut up Yamaguchi" he swiftly shut him down. harsh geesh. "Gomen Tsuki!!" he apologizes "But may I ask? aren't you hot from that sunray that's been hitting you? how long have you been sitting there? Do you want to transfer at my seat?" he continuously asked "Nah, I'm focusing here and sunlight directly produces my body's vitamin d requirement. So just shut up." You silently giggled upon his response to who is it? Oh, Yamaguchi. It's so damn good but you're thankful. Thankful for his wonderful action for you. "Wait? is it really for me?" you stuttered, suddenly waking yourself up from daydreaming. "Nah, hahaha maybe that's just a usual setting for him way back junior high" you reasoned out as you thought that this wonderful boy's actions aren't for someone like you. So you just kept on observing people, but despite taking back your wonderful thoughts about him. Still, this so-called Tsukishima piqued your interest and started doting your attention to him.

Classes started fine and good. You got comfortable with people inside your class. You didn't encounter any problems because you are indeed an independent woman! You can carry yourself in all kinds of situations because that's how adaptable you are. You're adaptable to situations because of your environment and how you're supposed to be like that. Everything's normal until you came on par with somebody. Everybody in your class is scared of how heated your rivalry is when class recitations are starting. It's known among teachers and students. L/N Y/N who excel supremely in studies and does crazy stuff to get by. On the contrary, Tsukishima Kei who's calm, goes by the principles. and doesn't give a fight. Doesn't give a fight. Most frequently, Tsukishima, your rival always admits his defeat as he doesn't put up much effort as he always says that he cannot overpower you that has superior intelligence than him who just read and goes by the principles.

"Come! Sit here Y/N-chan!! Yachan!!" Yamaguchi shouted over the chattering sound around the gymnasium while pointing over the bench where Tsukishima is sitting. While settling down the bleachers and preparing for the match that's about to start in about 20 minutes. You felt your phone vibrating.

"Oh gotta go down for a while. Omi-kun just texted me and I'll surprise him from the back and wish him good luck for the game," you told Yachi excitedly "Omi-kun? Do you mean Sakusa Kiyoomi?" Yachi asked and you nodded excitedly "OMG, HOW COME?? AND OMI-KUN? THAT GERMAPHOBE? YOU GOT TO BE CLOSE WITH HIM?" Yachi asked shockingly and she cannot believe whom you're acquainted with.

slap

"YAMAGUCHI! Do you have any beer left there? May I take a little sip? Oh, Hitoka-san, you love museums, right? I can get you discounts for its admission fees. Even for its events and else. I can get it for you. You can even take Y/L/N-san with you. I'll be working there next year anyway." Tsukishima halted with the sound of a pamphlet closing combined with a clap from the sound of his hands clashing together.

*•.¸♡ a/n: ahck one week with no update huhu sorry minna-san!! got caught up with exam and job applications. gomen. will do my best for the next one. n e way, love my experiments with this chapter. i did two generations of texting. first is by email and next is the modern one. that's a cool experience, I would say haha. so ya, thank you minna!!  it's tomorrow huhu  (╥﹏╥)

*•.¸♡ taglist ♡¸.•*  @maviiiiic @differentballooncollection @keikink​ @kodzu-ken​ @soleil-sole (will still tag u hehe :3)

[sunbellylou]

ask for writers !!

thank you @tomlinvelvetfics​ for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).

my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.

my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?:  i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?

3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.

also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!

8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?  i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?  i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?:  definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.

and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.

and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?:  ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always

24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?:  just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.

and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments. 

30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures. 

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…" 

The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat. 

"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand. 

“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be. 

“You got me there.”

not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished: 

Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.

best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home: 

Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him. 

5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss​

6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons

8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe 

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss 

[sableflynn]

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like) + 6.What character do you have the most fun writing? + 20.Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like): idk i don’t get proud of individual sentences/paragraphs, i’m just like...proud of the overall work i guess? sorry i’m trying really hard to not be self-deprecating and be like OH I CAN’T SHARE ANY BC I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THEM haha. but it’s more that i can’t think of any particular lines on the fly haha

6.What character do you have the most fun writing?: I love all my crew and meanies but I think Darya is super fun to write because she just. doesn’t know how to shut up to save her life, she’s just at 100% at all times always going for it. so aggressive so impulsive but so cheerful. love her lol

20.Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about: bro. bro. brosy. please don’t think i’m deep enough to have meta about my writing omg. i’m just a dumbass throwing words onto a page and hoping they make sense. uh i guess i would say that for me, out unseen is me taking the string of whumpy scenarios i play in my head every night and wrangling them into something resembling a plot, and i’m always torn between trying to actually make it more plotty and just wanting it to be shallow and self-indulgent haha. hence why it’s a mess but it’s my mess!          

[lingling40hrs]

Types of Comments on Classical Music YT

1. a n g e l

“1 - Allegro Moderato 0:04

2 - Canzonetta: Andante 19:50

3 - Finale: Allegro Vivacissimo 26:53”

need i say more

2. Twosetter

- “Who’s here from twoset”

- “He practices 40 hours a day”

- “Lmao the violist in the background at 4:20 kinda looks like Brett”

- “She can play 15 notes a second”

- Literally knows nothing of the piece/composer, but knows very much about memes

- Likely to be found on Ray Chen, Hilary Hahn, or Janine Jansen vids (or the one vid of Sumina Studer playing Pag Caprice 5)

3. Theory Nerd

- “The shift to the relative minor followed by the picardy third at 6:96 is genius and very well done”

- no comment on the performance or the piece or anything, just theory terms

- crams as many big words into one sentence as possible

- only has like 3 likes and probably no friends

4. Wholesome

- Really respectful

- Types out like three paragraphs

- Includes the history of the entire piece and composer

- One of the top comments

- Thanks the person who uploaded it and is really excited to be able to easily access the recording

- No profile pic and has their real name as their username

- Most common

5. Salty violinists

- Most likely found on child prodigy videos

- Complains about not practicing instead of just practicing

- Self esteem has hit rock bottom

- Has made it part of their daily routine to cry in the corner over how they’ll never achieve anything in life because it seems that they’re always behind everyone and no matter how hard they try they’ll never be good enough. not that i would know anything about that, moving on

6. Memer

- “OMG bach i’m ur biggest fan pls come to toronto”

- “Only 1700’s kids will remember this”

- Has an actual sense of humor outside of ‘interesting’ and ‘sacriligious’

- Also one of the top comments

7. omg such a nerd uwu

- “Is it weird that I’m 14 and I like this?? 😂😂 lmao I’m sorry I’m such a nerd”

- Has ended up on r/im14andthisisdeep and r/notliketheothergirls

- only found on the most mainstream pieces

8. Normie

- “Lmao I’m just here cause I heard it on a commercial”

- “Hey its that one cello song”

- Calls it a song

- Most commonly found on Tchaik’s Romeo & Juliet Overture saying they found it through spongebob

- Travels in groups

9. Weeb

- Similar to normie (travels in groups)

- Probably here from Your Lie in April

- Annoys everyone else in the comments

- Only found on the pieces played in YLIA

- The rest of the comments that aren’t them are comments complaining about them

10. Flexer

- Responds to everyone’s compliments to the performer with “haha yeah it was great i was there”

- “I met Hilary Hahn 60 years ago yeah she was pretty cool”

[x-ladydisdain-x]

7, 19, and 28!

7: Which character that you’ve written is most like yourself? I haven’t written much lately, that’s not fanfiction, but there is one character, her name is Loriell, that I used for venting quite a lot (like, I’d just write a random scene and pour out my problems through her), so she ended up becoming very similar to me, since she was built off of my rants. In fanfic? I usually only write Sherlock and John, and neither are much like me.

19: Do you write multiple works at the same time? HAHA omg I have so many WIPs that I occasionally go back to and edit or add one more paragraph or something. If that counts, then I work on like 20 things at the same time. But I usually only focus on about one or two main projects at once.

28: What’s your inspiration for writing? Ooh, good question. Music is a really big inspiration for me, and basically whatever I’m feeling. I find, the stronger my emotions are, the more inspired I am to write.

Thanks for the asks!! <33 :))

[jaygrl22]

Fun meta asks for writers: 2, 4, 5, 6, 19, 20, because I’m a greedy bitch and not ashamed of it :D

@whether-morning-whether-night​ you may be a greedy bitch but I love you for it 💕💕💕

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

No matter what story I’m working on, I always find myself looking forward to certain scenes. For example, I always love when the main character starts to realize that their love interest might... actually... like them... too? Because it’s super fun to play with those intense moments of omg!!omg!!omg!! mixed with that painfully uncertain doubt. I also love any time a character’s walls get to be down with someone they care about (love interest or otherwise) because I love the tender feelings that come out when our guards are down.

For more concrete answers tho, here’s what I’m currently most looking forward to in my 3 current works in progress:

Monsters & Mystics: Amethyst is currently very nervous over how/if things will be able to go back to the way they were before she turned venomous, and I have a scene in mind where Edward does something quite small but it just screams “I want you in my life & I’ll stay by your side no matter what as long as that’s what you want” and it makes Am feel overwhelmingly loved and emotional and asdfghjkl;asdfghj *flailing arms* Yes.

A Devereux Never Forgets: At this point, I just wanna get the second chapter DONE. But I'm most excited for things that won’t happen until a bit later, like Audrey "holding on” to something important that belongs to Harry, hiding an animal in her dorm room, the Malfoys vacationing in/near her hometown during the summer... Just lots of stuff that I have actually get to.

An Affinity with Fire: The great thing about this wip is that it time jumps every chapter, so I can literally write and post whatever I want whenever I want. But I do still want some build-up to certain things (cuz then otherwise there’s no payoff and what's the point?) like certain traumas Elia has experienced, explosions between her and Cullen in the past, them working through it (and failing but trying again), and them being genuine about their feelings. idk the whole thing is just so cute (and painful) to me 🥰

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Oh gosh... uhhhh... I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. uhhhhh... I was working on An Affinity with Fire last so let me post something from there:

Her fingers trembled as she laced her boots. When was the last time a vision had left her so frightened? Was it the first time she dreamt of the Archdemon flying overhead? The bloodshed at Kinloch Hold? The coming of the war?

All of them shook her to her very core. And yet this one was worse. Far, far worse.

Ash and blood covering the scorched earth. A devoured sky. Millions of deaths across the world playing out in a single instant; each dying scream colliding into one thundering cry. The world in red, bloody chaos. The Fade itself torn asunder. A sea of demons kneeling before a tall, misshapen creature; a dark god, a king of evils, a monster of impossible power.

She shuddered. “One thing at a time,” she told herself. “One foot, then the other.”

Johanna’s advice from all those years ago came back to her. “There’s no sense tripping over your trousers to get to the future on time,” she’d said with a grin.

Elia smiled at the memory until a knock came at the door.

I feel like most of my writing is very... not mundane necessarily but really just focused on capturing what’s happening in the moment. So it’s not very... full of imagery, I guess? but this^ feels very illustrative and I like that. 

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

This is really hard to answer for me because I always start out a character by giving them a piece of myself so that I can identify with them, and then let grow on their own from there. 

So like in M&M, I gave Chris my preteen anger issues, I gave Cypress my desire to have a “normal” life, I gave Dale my childishness & heart on my sleeve, and I gave Amethyst my overthinking & (unintentionally) my depression. But the characters have become their own people now, so even the traits that I share with them are different. My depression and Am’s depression manifest differently, Chris uses her anger while mine just consumed me, etc. etc.

But if you really forced me to pick, it might be... idk maybe Amethyst? Or that might just be because I write from her perspective anyway so I’m already used to wearing her shoes? idk. Honestly it changes every time I think about it haha

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

Dale tends to be a lot of fun because he’s always willing to go that extra mile (because he knows he can get away with it). He’s a total dork and just so fun in general. I love getting to be a little wild with him.

I’m also really enjoying writing Elia in AAwF because she is a fascinating character no matter where I’m at in her story: as a child she’s completely out of her element, as a teen she’s a piss poor mage who's always just barely able to skirt by, trauma for d a y s in her late teens/early 20s, forced to deal with boys/men she once loved but hurt her in different ways, falls back in love with one while Thedas is literally on the verge of collapse. Just fun times all around, really.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favorite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

My characters are always sighing, nodding/shaking their heads, or rolling their eyes 😂 I always have to comb through my rough drafts and ask myself, “Okay, they literally did this TWO SECONDS AGO and THREE TIMES in the last page. How can I change these up but still show what they’re feeling?”

I also think I focus on eyes a lot but I’m a fanfiction writer so what do you expect? at least I generally stick to one shade

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh gosh... I know I have a lot of things I could talk about but I’m drawing a blank... uhhhh... 

One thing in M&M that I really like is that readers get to learn as it goes along. I sometimes sprinkle in real-world Wiccan/witchcraft practice stuff into what’s going on and that helps me sort of... ground this supernatural world, in a way? Like it gives me limits and guides with the non-Essence witches and that’s very helpful.

I might go off a little more on some of these answers at some point but right now I’m very hungry and need to get out of bed ahah 😅

Thanks for asking me stuff!!!💕💕💕

[inkslingerharry]

this is another rant about my friend who i recently made a post about bc sometimes he does stuff and my petty self needs to vent about it

i went to start this off by saying that i genuinely do enjoy talking to and spending time with this friend, he just happens to do stuff that i find weird or he acts a certain way and it bothers me. again, he really is my friend, i do care about him, but every single person does something that we’re annoyed by lol

so a lot of the time whenever i ask him how he’s doing he responds with “i’m not sure yet” or “i don’t know” ya know something along those lines. well one time he said that and THEN he texts me “i don’t mean to change the topic, but [one of our other friends] isn’t feeling good and it would be good for you to reach out to her. i’m not trying to deflect my own issues but i don’t want her feeling poorly either” and i was like uhhhh ok like thanks for telling me and then he said “i know how i feel now. i feel fucking awful” and i was like oh uh why is that and he SAID “I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don’t like when my friends feel bad and the same for when I can’t do anything to help them” (that is 100% word for word i literally copied and pasted it) and i was like...... dude... i said something like “well like you said you can’t help it so i wouldn’t feel this bad about it, especially when people just need bad days” then he quickly changed the subject lskdjfa

and he changed it by asking what i was up to so i was like “just watching videos” and he was like “what videos?” like... we are just not on that level of me being like “here’s an exact title of video i’ve been watching” you know so i told him “just some youtube videos, not much” and THEN he says “Alright, I get it, I’ll take the hint, have your privacy.” like......... i literally put down my phone and sighed like i’m SORRY i didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you i was watching “NYC cycling incidents compilation 6″ like idk what to tell you!!!!!!!!! and he’s done this before like he asked me what songs i’ve been listening to lately and i said something like “oh some new stuff i’ve found recently! stuff that i don’t really listen to tbh” and he was like “like what songs?” like...... normally i’m very happy sharing what music i’ve been listening to but!! (this will be another paragraph so i’m sorry) considering he doesn’t listen to the music i already recommend him i don’t understand why he cares!! and why does he need exact titles omg

okay this one has a death tw!!!!! so both him and i are ~mentally ill~ and we can relate on a lot of things that deal with that!! but sometimes... he takes it.. too far lol he jokes about death quite a bit and not in the typical sense like ‘omg i’m gonna die’ like... ‘i chose a history major bc if i can’t find a job to pay for everything i need to live i can just die slowly’ and it’s always super morbid and weird and kinda makes me uncomfortable especially bc he also jokes about my death :))))))) haha yeah!! fun!! like i told him that it sucks working but i kinda have to do it bc.. money!! it’s needed to survive!! and he went “Naw only if you plan to survive for any real length of time, death is cheap” and he always jokes about me dropping out of college and just making small jokes about me dying which isn’t the biggest deal for me personally but it’s also like... why are you saying that to your friend who has mental illnesses luv lol

he’s also lowkey stubborn? like sometimes when he’s not feeling well i suggest some activities to do as distractions and he shoots them all down so fast like i’ll suggest painting and he’s like “i can’t do that bc i have high standards for my painting and i know it’s going to be bad and i know i shouldn’t feel that way but i do” so i’m like... ok.... reading? and he comes up with another excuse and i’m like omg ok so taking a walk? and he has ANOTHER excuse so i’m like ok i understand wanting to sulk in your sadness but you have said that you wanted to get better but if you purposely do nothing about it why are you complaining about it to me :/

it’s also awkward holding a conversation with him bc he texts weirdly like... i’ve been making it more my language in these rants but the way he texts it’s not like “omg that’s hilarious” it’s like “Let’s see, right now I am doing nothing besides texting you and a few others. I am on a couch and not very active. For tonight, I plan to eat another meal today at some point, but other than that not much. And in life in general I have no idea but I’m gonna keeping for at least another 10-20 years and see how I feel then.” (that’s another copied and pasted text) like... he uses punctuation very carefully which puts me off and he phrases everything weirdly!!! and he says he wants to have a conversation with me when it’s good with his schedule and his “conversations” are just him interviewing me lol like he asks my favorite shows, movies, colors, books, but it doesn’t flow naturally, it’s just him going “what are your favorite movies?” and i answer and he goes “what is your favorite color?” like why are you interviewing me lol

okay about the music thing when i first met this friend he listened to ONE BAND..... ONE. when i asked him why he gave me a bullshit answer and he knows some classic, older songs, but VERY little. like idk why he didn’t know basic songs that are on everyone’s “classic hits” playlist SO i was like holy shit i’m making him a playlist of songs that he should know!! obviously it’s biased bc it’s songs i listen to and whatnot. i WRITE that shit out while also making it on spotify in case he makes an account or something. i make a key.. a LEGEND with different colors meaning different things i put fucking washi tape on that thing and i hand it to him and i can 100% tell he is not interested. but i give it to him anyway and WEEKS later (like over a month later) i ask him how much he has listened to and he said he didn’t listen to ANYTHING so i’m heartbroken like that fucking sucks to make a playlist for someone, introducing them to new music that you personally love and they literally don’t give a fuck lol so i went “...oh..” and bring out my phone bc i’m 1) pissed and 2) very sad that he did this and he can totally tell that i’m upset so he’s like “well... the list is in my room but i did take a picture of it so i can start listening to it” and i was like hmm ok and lowkey ignored him well i told my friend about this and she was APPALLED she was like “omg fuck that what’s the name of it” and i renamed it to her playlist on spotify and that was the only thing she listened to for weeks on end and she constantly complimented it so i love her omg and i can 100% guarantee that he has still not listened to all of it lol oh well!!!!