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#half of it probably doesn't even make sense
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Beach episode with the bad Sanses
Why does "take my idiot henchmen to a secluded beach to blow off some steam" 100% sound like something Nightmare would do? He'll bring you along too. The boys can't relax when their beloved favourite human isn't there. You're like a therapy kitten a bunch of giant terrifying fighting hounds refuse to go anywhere without.
Horror doesn't like deep water, too many bad memories of a certain fish monster, so he's staying away from the sea. But he does like the sound it makes... the waves are wonderful, they're something other than his own thoughts to concentrate on. He'll sit on the sand, with a hat over his face, listening to the ocean and enjoying the sun soaking into his old bones. Might even fall asleep. For the love of God, keep Killer away from him, his 'prank' attempts on the sleeping giant will not end well for anyone. Don't let him catch you when he's looking tired - he'll drag you up against him and snore into your hair until the sun goes down.
It's weird to see Dust without his hood. You half expected him to even wear it to the beach, but it makes sense he wouldn't. There's enough dust on that thing already, he probably doesn't want to get sand on it as well. He'll spend most of his time resting in the shade (why is he wearing sunglasses when he doesn't have eyes?), but if you ask him to, he'll venture into the sun. You're the only one who can convince him to do anything fun. Out of all of them, he's the one who'll go get you something to eat. He'll randomly disappear, then quietly return with ice cream, or crepes, or smoothies. Just three, though - one for him, one for you, and one for Horror because it'd just be rude to not get him food. He won't tell Killer where he got it.
Killer is having a great time. He will be ogling your beach outfit, it doesn't matter what it is, he'll stare and flirt as often as he possibly can. He wants to play volleyball or football, have you bury him in the sand, take stupid posed pictures, stay until sunset and start a barbecue, he's having an amazing time. This is his dream. If you can keep him company, please do, because it'll keep him on good behaviour - if you leave him alone for five minutes he's going to start annoying the other skeletons. By the end of the day someone is dunking him in the ocean, at least once. Probably Dust.
Nightmare will sit on a chair, under the darkest umbrella you've ever seen, without a speck of sunlight reaching him. He won't engage with the other skeletons at all and it seems like they know to give him his space. He'll be delighted to chat to you, if you come up to him, but other than that he just... vibes there, alone. Makes you wonder why he even came to the beach, since he clearly will do whatever it takes to avoid light.
He bought you along because the other skeletons want you around, sure. But he also bought you because he could tell you needed the stress relief. He likes just sitting back and listening to you enjoying yourself, watching the happy feelings roll off you - they're nice to see, even if he can't eat them.
Not that he'll ever say it aloud, but he planned this day out almost entirely for you.
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mymarifae · 20 hours
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yesterday someone on strawpage asked me what made me go from a dr. ratio hater to a dr. ratio enjoyer and that response took me. four hours . to put together. so you know what i'm going to share my thoughts here too. here's why i like this ⬇️ jackass a lot now!!!!!!!!!!!
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he's a tricky character! the first interactions we get with him are so off-putting and unpleasant that i feel like a lot of people are like "wow, this guy is a self-absorbed dick, i don't respect him at all. can he go away" - i know that was my reaction! and he IS a dick. but like. listen.
it's really, really, REALLY easy to misconstrue 90% of his words and actions. it doesn't help that he has the speech patterns of a haughty asshole. and it alsooooooo doesn't help that aventurine's stunt in penacony required orchestrating a "betrayal" between himself and ratio. i think some of the things ratio said during All That constitutes the bulk of most people's persisting dislike of him. So:
1. everything ratio did and said was exactly what aventurine asked him to. this was all pre-negotiated. i think aventurine's insecurities acting up and the way he started doubting whether ratio was truly just acting threw some people off as well, but there is plentyyyyyy of evidence that no, ratio does not hate him and was not waiting for the perfect opportunity to stab him in the back and rid himself of this "damned gambler" but i'll get more into that in a sec ok? i have another bullet point to make first. and it's important so read it carefully ok? promise?
2. any comments from ratio pertaining to aventurine's race were said to fuel the narrative SUNDAY was building in his head probably from the second he learned which ipc executive would be coming to penacony.
aventurine's plan hinged on sunday's prejudice. he needed sunday to think of him as a liar, a cheat, a silver-tongued honeypot - basically, every avgin stereotype floating around in the universe. he needed to invoke a sense of insult. how could someone so... despicable invade the family's sweet dream? he needed sunday to be so wound up over his presence in penacony that he couldn't resist the urge to put The Vile Avgin back in his place. idk THIS ("this" being the real world parallels of how the catholic church ethnically cleansed the rroma during the 16th and 17th centuries) is a whooooole issue in itself that i don't have the time to go into rn because we're supposed to be talking about dr. ratio. oops
anyway the important thing to understand is that ratio absolutely does not look down upon aventurine's heritage. he was acting, with aventurine's blessing, to feed into sunday's biases. and he wasn't even good at it 😭... like look at this exchange from 2.0:
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one snarky comment from aventurine and his ass is immediately Apologizing. his ass that's supposed to be acting like he doesn't respect or like aventurine At All. in fact, aventurine's "even under the watchful eye of the harmony..." comment feels a liiiiittle pointed lol. it's a subtle warning to ratio! like, "hey, dumbass, did you forget we're being monitored at all times?? knock it off."
and like this isn't even the only time ratio breaks character and puts aventurine's plan in jeopardy. he learns nothing from this interaction because it's worse next time. lmao:
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this stupid fuckignb note. is extremely significant in manyyyy ways so we have to talk about it. first of all, stopping to check on aventurine's condition and to say "tell me if you can't hold on any longer" RIGHT IN FRONT OF SUNDAY (basically, since the family was monitoring everything and a few minutes later we see one of gopher wood's birds hanging out in that general area)?? BRO
if he wanted to, this brief interaction would have been enough for sunday to call their bluff. and aventurine knew that; many of his lines here feel like attempts to redirect ratio into picking the act back up and to stop trying to help him.
next, the stupid fuckignb note's contents. yes yes the second half is very sweet and it's all anyone ever wants to talk about and i understand because it probably meant the world to aventurine especially in that moment but i need you to look at the first half
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ratio gave aventurine the answer..? he. gave him the answer. you might be wondering why this matters at all and i'll just have to redirect you to his actions in 1.6, wherein he notably refused to give any answers and let asta, stelle, and like everyone else on the space station flounder, learn from their floundering, and - ultimately - Grow
ratio is a teacher through and through. if someone isn't one of those "geniuses" he wants nothing to do with, they're a potential student in his eyes. and everything that happened in mundane troubles was the space station's final exam, so to speak. his inaction wasn't out of cruelty or because he didn't care about the fate of all the people on the station - obviously he did, because he was the one using the phase flame to teleport the missing researchers to safety...
he posited himself as a safety net in case things went horribly terribly wrong, but he left most of it up to stelle and asta, because he believed in them. they had all the information they needed; they just needed to figure out how to utilize it. and if they failed, well... they had their safety net, and failure is a learning experience too. like, ratio wants people to learn. he wants them to have all the skills and knowledge they could possibly need to take charge of their lives.
the "geniuses" of the world, the head honchos, the impossibly rich 0.0001%? whatever you want to call them, there's always this Upper Level in society that can do things "ordinary" people can never dream of doing. their way of life is simply unattainable. ratio disagrees. he believes that anyone can do anything, if someone would only take the time to teach them. and he's chosen to be one of those teachers! instead of sitting on his ass and just theorizing about a better, fairer society, he's doing what he can to make a difference.
(not so self-centered after all, huh?)
so like. when you remember how much of a teacher ratio is, like this is a philosophy ingrained in his very bone marrow, it's a pretty big fucking deal that he just GAVE aventurine the answer he needed. it shows how concerned he was! and how guilty he felt about the part he had to play!!!! his words and actions were so far removed from his actual thoughts and feelings that he literally HAD to put the whole operation at risk to remind aventurine that he doesn't view him the same way sunday did, give him a safety net, AND let him know it's there. because at this point he felt that the plan was too risky and he cared too much
like honestly i think he hoped aventurine would read the note before putting on his "performance" and readjust accordingly. but then he didn't <3 and acheron had to remind him that it was still sitting in his pocket <3 if she hadn't said anything about it i don't think he would have opened it adgsmbfdndhfbkjjbg <3 oh i love a mess <3 anyway i think this serves as a suitable refute for the "dr. ratio was racist towards aventurine" sentiment that continues to fly around in some parts of the fandom, so? MOVING ON
i ended up talking about this already, but looking more closely at how ratio looks at the world was a biiiiiig part of why he grew on me So Much. it's all actually really noble and worth admiring. again, he just talks like a dick so it's easy to get confused LMFAO
he never received nous' recognition not just because he "cares too much" (as you'll see some people vaguely claim and then not elaborate), but because he fundamentally disagrees with the ideology that allows the genius society, the path of erudition, and even nous themself to exist.
there's like... a certain "threshold" of intelligence and knowledge that nous operates off of. the unknown, the near-or-actually-impossible to comprehend, things that the average person would never be able to grasp and would never care to try because it's simply beyond them - that's all nous cares about. but ratio doesn't believe this threshold exists. he doesn't believe in knowledge that cannot be taught. just to reiterate: he believes anyone can learn anything if someone teaches them, and they will care if they know someone will be there to teach them.
but if anyone can follow the footsteps of geniuses, then Genius is no longer a superior echelon of society. the end goal the erudition seeks is no longer "beyond the limits of mortal wisdom."
nous rejected ratio because he rejected them - long before he fully understood that he did so.
i think he only ever tried to seek their recognition because it was expected so highly of him. like, he was a prodigy child, absorbing new information and collecting phds at the speed of light. of course every adult around him was like, "oh yeah this kid's a future genius society member" and then they told him this. over and over. and he was like, Okay, so this is the path i'm supposed to embark on, and i must do it and i must succeed (or i'll let them down; i'll be a disappointment, a failure, a waste of resources and all the hopes and dreams everyone's pinned onto me.)
he spent a good few years trying and failing to conform to nous' surprisingly (ironically?) boxed-in mindset. but they ignored him, probably because they predicted that even IF they recognized him while he seemingly ascribed more closely to the erudition's beliefs, he would ultimately wander off and "waste" time trying to nurture the achievements of "mere" mortals instead. and then he had to sit there and be like ok i apparently fucking failed at the one thing i thought i was supposed to do with my life, What Now
and this results in the dr ratio we meet in game. still haughty, still has an attitude problem and a bad temper, still has a tendency to talk down to people (i think though at this point his condescending tone is more of a defense mechanism and a way of isolating himself from others before he is once again rejected from a "part" of society after trying, trying, and then Failing to conform to a box), but! considerably more humble and far more focused on others than himself. he cares, ok. he cares an awful fucking lot. he believes in the good of humanity. humanity's ability to do good, to grow... to find the answers to its problems, implement them, and save itself.
plus, "character that's very admirable and very kind and loving IN THEIR OWN WAY (<- this is important because ratio isn't any of these things in a traditional sense and that's another part of why i've come to like him; it's interesting) but is cursed to just sort of talk like a total jackass forever" is an extremely entertaining concept
one other thing that's less significant than realizing ^^^^^^^ALL OF THAT. GOD .but still played a big part in my warming up to him, is how fond he is of those stupid rubber ducks and the goofy poses his statues are in. and also how his very first introductory cutscene is him playing chess BADLY (😭😭😭😭) against himself. that speaks to a sense of whimsy and playfulness that he doesn't have much of an outlet for. which i find... cute. and an aspect of his character that's a ton of fun to play around with
IN CONCLUSION: i mean he's okay i guess
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blueishspace · 3 days
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Looped Sun 13
Loop #397
Jimmy: You know what? I'm not going to lose this time around.
Scott: Oh?
Jimmy: I'm going to win this time. I'm going to be the winner of third life.
Scott: Why not? I can help if you want.
Jimmy: This will be amazing.
Jimmy: This isn't amazing.
Scott: Oh Jimmy, you know this is how Third Life ends, I wasn't going to die before seeing you win.
Jimmy: I know... but I don't want to...
Scott: It's ok Jimmy, this is just a game after all.
Jimmy:... Alright.
Loop #399
Mumbo: ... Grian, why did I found an egg under my bed covers.
Grian: I don't know what you mean.
Mumbo: Grian!
Grian: Maybe It's yours, maybe you can lay eggs in this loop.
Mumbo: ... Can I? ... Wait no, you are trying to distract me!
Grian: What? Me??? Noo.
Mumbo: That's definitely a lie.
Loop #407
Scar: Oh! Jimmy, Jimmy, come here!
Jimmy: Deputy, what's going on?
Scar: You haven't seen my theme park yet have you?
Jimmy: Do you have one?
Scar: Oh yes, come with me.
Jimmy: This is... wow. How long did this take?
Scar: Like 200 loops.
Jimmy: This is insane! This is like, as big as a server! How???
Scar: Lots of effort!
Jimmy: You got a Tumble Town inspired section?
Scar: Of course! I am the deputy after all!
Jimmy: Can we go?
Scar: Oh yes! Just remember to keep all limbs inside the minecart!
Loop #418
Grian had woken up in a gray world... He could see people and trees and animals but everything was some shade of gray. He wondered around a bit and noticed a blur, a person in a cloak running into the woods... So of course they followed them.
Grian: Hello? ... Hey? Mysterious person-
Suddenly there was a blade to his neck, a person in a cloak and hat holding it to him.
Grian: Well, that's not nice.
???: Who are you!?! I have never seen you before!
Grian: Grian, and you?
???: I... It doesn't make sense, I gave never seen you before... why did the script change?
Grian: Script... is time reapeating for you?
The stranger took a step back, face shocked.
???: How!?
Grian: I am in the same position, now I ask again. Who are you?
Siffrin: Call me Siffrin...he/they
Siffrin: I just escaped one timeloop and now I'm stuck in a different one!?!
Grian: I... I'm not the best person to explain probably but you aren't alone.
Siffrin: I'm not?
Grian: Eventually other people will start looping with you, the closer to you the likelier.
Siffrin: ...
Grian: So, can I join your little party for this?
Siffrin: I can try to convince the others but I don't... I Don't want to go into the house again.
Grian: Oh, that, don't worry I'll deal with the king myself.
Siffrin: Are you sure?
Odile: What do you mean the king disappeared and everyone was freed!??
Bookstore keeper: I don't know what to tell you, it happened in the middle of the night.
Mirabel: D-does that mean It's over? Everyone is ok?
Bookstore keeper: Looks like it.
Mira: Oh! I need to see the head housemaiden!
Odile: I can't believe this.
Scott: So when are you going to tell Siffrin that you are also looping?
Loop: When are you going to tell that watcher that you are here?
Scott: Touchè.
Loop: Of course, I'll tell them... eventually. It is much funnier this way.
Scott: Agreed.
Grian: I have a gift.
Siffrin: A gift?
Grian: You probably won't know what it is but this is a reality stone.
Siffrin: ...
Grian: You remember how to access the pocket?
Siffrin: Yeah?
Grian: Hold on to it, will you?
Loop #422
Scar: Mumbo?
Mumbo: Yeah?
Scar: I've been thinking.
Mumbo: Weird...
Scar: Wha- Hey!
Mumbo: Heh... go on.
Scar: Right, me and Grian are soulmates so much that sometimes the bond stays even if we are outside if Double Life.
Mumbo: Yes?
Scar: And you got half of Grian's soul to get cured of pigness.
Mumbo: ... Yes.
Scar: So if you and Grian share a soul then you are also soulmates right?
Mumbo: . . . I guess?
Scar: So if me and Grian are soulmates and you and Grian are soulmates then me and you are soulmates too!
Mumbo: I don't think that's how it works?
Scar: But are you sure it isn't?
Mumbo: ... Not really?
Scar: Then it totally works like that soulmate.
Mumbo: If... if you say so...soulmate.
Loop #425
Scott heard a knock...then soon after another.
Scott: Coming.
...
Scott: Who's there at this hour?
Tango: It's me, Tango.
Scott: Why are you here?
Tango: I wanted to say I'm...sorry for your loss.
Scott: Wha- oh, you mean Jimmy?
Tango: ... Yeah?
Scott: It's...ok, I'll deal...thank you I guess.
Tango: ...
Scott: ... Do you want anything else.
Tango: Uh... I... Have a weird question.
Scott: Go on?
Tango: Is...is time reapeatificating for you?
Scott: ...
Tango: It is isn't it!? I knew it!
Scott: Tango... out of everyone...
Tango: Yea- ...uh?
Scott: It's just... I have a lot to tell you but I can't right now.
Tango: Wait no, I need to-
Scott: It's late Tango, come back tomorrow, bye!
Scott: Why him!? Why did he have to start looping as well!?
He needed to calm himself, he couldn't act aggressively towards Tango the following morning and especially not in front of Jimmy. This was...unexpected but it was fine, he could deal with this.
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Also interested in Hollow Knight lore, @a-sociopath-do-your-research if you are willing to loredump in my askbox I will be very grateful.
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brekitten · 1 month
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The Therapist
There's a new therapist at school.
Normally this wouldn't really bother Peter at all, since he's never gone to see a shrink in his life and doesn't ever plan on it, but there's something... off about this woman.
She seems unassuming enough at first glance. Red hair, green eyes, bright red lipstick. But there is something in her eyes, something that Peter can only describe as a predator looking at its next prey, when she looks around the school at all of the teenagers milling about. Heck, even the way she walks makes her seem as if she is a predator stalking her prey.
It could always be some kind of power move, Peter reasons. He's met people like that before, who try to intimidate everyone around them into thinking that they are superior, that they are the apex predator and anyone who dares to cross them would pay for it dearly.
But his Spidey Sense went crazy around her.
He tries to brush it off as paranoia. He'd pulled an all-nighter last night in the lab with Tony because neither of them had been able to sleep, and he hadn't been sleeping well even before that. (Funny, how it had all started the night after he first bumped into the new therapist in the halls.) So his Spidey Sense is probably out of wack because he's tired. Simple as that.
But it seems like everyone in the school is depressed. Even Ned, who can't even muster up the energy and enthusiasm to talk about Legos or Star Wars or even the weather. It worries Peter.
Because it all started when that therapist came to the school.
He can't ignore it forever, he knows that. There is only so long his Spidey Sense can tell him that she is danger danger danger before he finally listens. He has to do something to help everyone.
So he researches.
And he falls into the rabbit hole of ghosts and ectoplasm and secret government organizations and the little, unassuming town of Amity Park, Illinois.
He doesn't sleep that night.
When he comes to school the next morning, Dr. Penelope Spectra looks him dead in the eyes, and smiles.
#dpxmarvel#peter parker#penelope spectra#peter's boutta get a crash course in ghosts and ghost fighting#he is definitely not prepared#idk why spectra is in new york#specifically midtown tech#but she is#peter starts digging into amity park#he just wanted to find out who spectra is#and he did find out that she's a dangerous “ecto-entity”#he does not know what that is until he does more research#he's very shocked to learn that ghosts are apparently real#meanwhile tucker and the rest of team phantom is freaking out#someone just hacked past the media blackout or whatever around amity park#(you can thank friday (or karen if you prefer) for that)#they're surprised to see that it's coming all the way from new york#and even more surprised to see that the hacker went for spectra's files first#almost as if the hacker was specifically looking for them >:3#maybe danny goes to investigate and finds peter#btw peter can sense ghosts with his spidey sense even if they're invisible. especially if they're invisible#they team up to take spectra down#danny helps peter make some ecto-weapons and a specter deflector or something#then they catch spectra (and bernard because he's probably there too and i'm kinda just now realizing that)#peter gives danny his phone number as thanks and tells him to call him if he ever needs anything#peter doesn't know who phantom is btw. he just knows that his new friend is a ghost that luckily knows how to use technology like phones#maybe there's even a bad reveal a little further down the line and danny calls peter in a panic because sam and tucker have done everything#they can and he needs to get as far away from amity as possible#peter is very surprised to find that his ghost friend is only half ghost and is then very ticked that danny's parents tried to capture#and vivisect him
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Special angst. Featuring touch-starved Special, homemade quintessence fuckery and lore, basically Special can't touch anyone or they die, Omega and Delta try to help.
CW : Angst, like pretty heavy angst I think, Hurt/comfort, talk of death
Ghouls are social creatures. Not all to the same extend, not all in the same way, but the fact remains : ghouls thrive in eachother's company, in the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is waiting for them, ready to welcome them.
And, ghouls are physically affectionate, as a result of this need to be close and feel surrounded by loved ones. Of course, it's a generic rule, and it doesn't applie the same way to each individuals, but, most of the time, ghouls live off of casual touch, hand holding, hugs, cuddles, clasps on the shoulders, arms slung around waists, tails intertwining.
It's Satan's best joke, really, that Special can't even have that.
That he's so fucked up that not only no one bears to be in his presence, but he could also kill the poor ghoul who'd pity him enough to try and give him a hug.
Because Special's elements are all pulling him in different direction, trying to evade the too tight confine of his body, weak fire sorrowfuly begging to be smothered out, destructive quintessence furiously grasping at every bits of vital energy it can find, literaly sucking the life out of anyone stupid enough to have any kind of skin-to-skin contact with Special.
At least it's vaguely less awfull now that he managed to contain the devastating effect of his quintessence to his body - the screams of agony of the people who tried to approach him after his summoning, Omega's pained grunts as he backed away, the soft blanket he had held out for Special falling at his feet, the sheer terror on the ancient ghoul's face as he watched the humans unfortunate enough to be in Special's quintessence's range dropping like fly, oh, Special remembers it all so well.
Six Siblings died that way, simply because they were standing too close to him. Omega was, too, and is only alive because of his highly resistant nature, allowing him to stumble back in time.
It took weeks of sitting across from Omega, safe distance between them, training relentlessly to try and tame his quintessence, before Special could evolve around people without draining them. But it worked.
Provided he stays dressed head to toe, not a silver of skin showing, of course.
Special could, theoretically, be on the recieving end of ghoul's typical affection, the soft nudges, pats and caresses rythming their lives, long as no one makes contact with his skin, long as all those displays take place through a layer of clothing.
But then again, Special can't blame them for being wary, and prefering to stay away altogether. They're right, after all. You never know what might happen, if Special won't suddenly lose control and kill everyone in a three meters radius just by existing.
Special hasn't see anyone in days. Omega said he'd come by, but he hasn't yet. Special vaguely remembers something about Delta the...water ghoul, right ? Well, one of them anyway. There's a lot of those around, Special keeps forgetting who's who, doesn't see them enough to properly remember. He sticks to the dark corners, only goes out in the dead of the night, only watches the other ghouls from afar, except maybe for Omega.
But Omega's not here, hasn't been here for too long, busy taking care of Delta, whatever that means. Special wonders if he'll come back. Special wonders why he needs Omega to come to his room, why he can't bring himself to get up and go find the quint by himself. It's not like it's forbidden or anything. He just can't do it, the thought of opening his bedroom door in the middle of the day strictly unfathomable.
No, Special, at least during the day, needs someone to open it, someone to drag him outside if he really is needed, like for interviews, because apparently he's the only fucker who agreed to do them when neither Papa nor Omega are free.
A third choice, that would probably be even further down the list of candidates if it wasn't for his uncanny ability to entertain humans, with jokes and crudes, snarky remarks masking the cracks of his shattered soul.
So Special waits, sitting motionless in the middle of his bed. He hasn't seen anyone in days. He hasn't been touched since forever. No, that's not true. Omega cupped the back of his head the last time he was here, protected by the mask and balaclava Special always has to wears, and pressed a kiss to the metal covering his forehead.
It had nearly unraveld him.
Special doesn't know why Omega still bothers with him, what sick sense of responsability pushes the quint to visit Special as often as he can bear, why he insist on being so patient, so gentle, smiling with sadness in his eyes.
Special doesn't want pity. But he could never tell Omega not to come back.
His hair is getting too long. It's itchy in the back of his neck, keeps getting stuck in folds of fabric. Special shifts uncomfortably, thinking about stealing a pair of scissors and chopping it off himself. It's always a delicate task, cutting his hair : he's not good at it himself, but whenever Omega's doing it, he has to be extra cautious, avoiding any contact with Special's scalp, not even able to properly run his fingers through it. Special's hair is never perfect, always a bit messy, as a result, but now it's even worse.
He really needs Omega to come back.
It hits Special like a freight train.
He needs Omega to come back. He needs to hear his voice, to see the lines and creases on his face, the tired slope of his broad shoulders, the softness of his eyes. Special needs his tentative, fleeting touches, needs to talk to him, needs to be carefully held, even if it's all tainted with Omega's guilt, obligation and pity.
He needs to know Omega hasn't moved on, hasn't chalked him up as a lost cause, that Special hasn't lost the only comfort life ever granted him.
A knock startles him out of his thoughts, his whole being shaking with relief at the familiar pattern.
"Spesh ? Can I come in ?"
Special nearly sobs. His voice scratches in his throat.
"Yes."
Omega slips in the room. He's maskless, and Special drinks him in like a ghoul starved. He looks tired, like he hasn't slept in days, but. He's smiling. Omega is smiling, wide an bright, eyes gleaming. It makes Special's own lips pull in an unfamiliar direction, up up up, until concealed under the mask, his mouth weakly mimics Omega's.
"I have good news for you, Spesh. Really good news. Would you let me bring someone else in here ?"
Special visibly flinches, though still half frozen, cossed-legged on the bed. Omega's face softens in that way Special yearns for.
"It's okay, it'll be fine. I promise. Do you trust me ?"
Special doesn't need to think about the answer, nodding with more conviction than he ever displayed before. It gets a soft chuff out of Omega.
"Attaboy."
The quint moves with a grace Special envies, reaching for the door and opening it like it's the easiest thing in the world. Maybe, to him, it is.
The ghoul that steps in looks just as tired as Omega, if not more, but is also sporting a smile, hair an absolute mess, looking like it got chopped with absolutely no regard for the aesthetical result, as uneven as it is unruly.
"Spesh, this is Delta, remember ? Delta, this is Special."
Special blinks, unmoving as a statue, as he often is. Sometimes, he thinks that if he keeps perfectly still, the universe will forget that he is supposed to be, and simply let him stop existing.
Delta. Yes Special remembers. He doesn't smell like most water ghouls, though, it's quite disarming.
"Hello, Special," Delta breathes, barely above a whisper, "it's nice to officially meet you."
Unsure of what to do with that soft tone, with how genuine Delta apparently is, Special looks toward Omega, silently begging for guidance. The quint goes to sit next to him, one hand brushing his back ever so slightly. Special has to bite his tongue to contain a relieved whimper.
"He's here because we discovered something, and I have a theory," Omega explains.
Delta is standing straight, hands folded behind his back, withstanding Special's wary scrunity with an easy smile. Something about him is...off, Special notes. It's not necessarily bad, but it intrigues him.
Delta looks like a water ghoul. Blueish tint to his grey skin, gills, needle sharp fangs, webbed fingers, a few fish-like scales visible on his forearms. And yet...
Special doesn't realize he's leaning forward until Delta tilts his head in amusement. He leans back immediately, clasping his gloved hands tighter on his lap.
"I think," Omega goes on, "that he might be able to touch you without consequences."
It's instinctive, the way Special stiffens, shaking his head desperately at Omega, clearing his throat to find his voice again.
"No, no, no, Megs, it'll end up badly-"
"Listen- listen to me, Spesh, listen," Omega interrupts his panicked babbling, craddling his masked face between two big hands, "i'm not pulling this out of my ass, okay ? Delta here, well, we needed a new quintessence ghoul, at least for a little while, until we could summon a new one, and...Delta volunteer for an...elemental transition of some kind."
Special blinks, shaking in Omega's grip. Well, that explains the funny feeling, the strange scent.
"But...Delta's still water," Special rasps. Omega hums, nodding.
"Yes, but not exclusively. He's not...quintessence either. It's more like...he became a vessel quintessence can pass through. He can channel it from the outside, dig it from the source rather than something within him like us quintessence ghoul do, quite literaly pull it from thin air, let it flow through him, and release it."
Special frowns, trying to wrap his mind around all this.
"But...raw quintessence, the one that is everywhere, is impossible to access to unless you are a quint, because your quintessence connects you to it, opens you a door. Right ?"
It's more words than he's spoken in weeks outside of interviews, but excitement suddenly buzzes in his body, brain finally feeded something to think about, to analyse, to study. Special is a cerebral creature, no matter what people might thing, and such an incredible discovery makes him feel almost alive.
Omega laughs, a breathless, amazed little thing.
"I know. But, apparently, we managed to crack that door open for Delta. He doesn't have much control over the quintessence he releases, but it's enough for the Clergy, for now."
Special glances toward Delta from the corner of his eyes.
"That's...you wrote it down, right ? Records of this could be incredibly useful-"
The smile he gets makes Special's heart miss a beat. Omega looks so fond, so full of love, it's almost painful.
"I did. I'll hand you my notes. But, back to you. What your quintessence does, is devouring energy out of living things-"
Special hangs his head down, shame creeping up his spine, wrapping around his throat.
"Hey, none of that, Spesh," Omega soothes, pulling his head up by the metal point of the mask's chin, "let me finish. What if someone was full of an energy they can fully dispose of ? If someone could let your quintessence take without it harming them, that means they could touch you. Delta could touch you."
Special blinks.
"But...you can't touch me."
"Because your quintessence takes the one at my core - drains me dry of a source of power so entangled in my being that losing it would mean losing me. But Delta's quintessence doesn't come from him."
Slowly, Delta comes closer, kneeling by the bed, offering his bare hand to Special, smiling, and Special- can't understand why. Why anyone would willingly take such risks - first the attempted elemental transition, now this.
Omega brushes Special's shoulder.
"Please, try it. I know...how hard isolation is for you. Please, sparkle, try. If anything goes wrong i'll pull Delta away before any real damages can be done, I promise."
The coppery taste of blood hits Special's tongue, and it's the only reason he's aware he's biting his lip. Then Delta talks.
"I volunteered, Special. I know this is going to work. I trust Omega's theory, and. I think I can trust you, too."
This time Special does sob.
"If I hurt you..."
"You won't. Give me your hand, Special, it'll be okay."
And Special is terrified. Terrified that it won't work, that he'll hurt Delta, who seems the nicest ghoul you could ever wish for. Terrified that it'll work, that the one time he manages to touch someone without killing them will kill him, that all it would take would be a brush of skin against his own to destroy him.
Despite all that, Special slowly, oh so slowly takes one glove off, revealing too-pale skin and twitchy fingers. Delta' smile widens, then the air shifts a bit, starts blurring around him. One of his eyes turns purple, his skin shimering slightly.
"It's a bit like holding my breath," the water (?) ghoul explains, "i can't keep it for too long, maybe a couple of minutes, after, i have to release it. Open the valves, kind of. But, if I just keep them open, just let quintessence flow in and out freely, like this-"
Another shift in the air. The shimer on Delta's skin dims, his features relaxing.
"Then I can keep it that way as long as i like, effortlessly for the most part. That's how we can touch. I'm ready when you are."
He's going to do this. Special is going to do this. His hand is shaky when he wraps it loosely around Delta's - ready to pull away at any moment - but the second their skin makes contact, he gasps and can't help tightening it.
Delta doesn't flinch. His skin glints a bit more, but that's it. Special's quintessence is hungrily drinking in the one flowing though Delta, but he doesn't need it. He can let Special take it.
Salt. Salt on his tongue, now. Special is crying. Holding onto Delta's hand for dear life, shoulders shaking, Special is crying, the water ghoul shushing him softly, thumb drawing circles on the back of his hand.
Omega helps unclasping the mask, watching with tears of his own as Special takes it off, throws it somewhere, who cares, where the balaclava and second glove quickly follow.
Delta opens his arm, still not letting go. Special sobs so hard he's sure it's going to turn him inside out, slidding off the bed and into Delta's firm, tender embrace, burrying his face in the water ghoul's neck, finally able to touch, to feel, truly feel.
He can't see it, but Omega's crying in earnest now, Delta fighting tears as well.
Special isn't okay. Special might never be okay, Delta might be the only person he'll ever get to touch, it might stop working at some point, there might be a catch, but oh, Special doesn't care.
He'd trade his infernal eterinity for this moment in time, folded in arms that hold him like something precious.
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alichiraku · 1 year
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Timeline - Iruka Umino
(I’ve just compiled information from various pre-existing timelines, so credits go to the Seelentau timeline and @keepyourpantsongohan​’s one!!)
I added events I thought relevant to Iruka’s story (whether because it impacted Konoha or Iruka personally). I calculated the ages by taking the Databook ages and correlating them with the first appearances in the manga which is why it sometimes differs from the other timelines (ex: Yugao is said to be 22 in the first Databook, but her birthday is on November 3rd, and her first apparition is during the Chūnin exams in July-August. Therefore, I consider her to have turned 22 the year before). 
I’ve checked this timeline a few times, but there may still be errors (or simplifications), so don’t hesitate to point them out and I’ll correct them!
Year 0 : Iruka is born (May 26).
Kohari and Ikkaku Umino are 34-35.
The Third Shinobi War begins. Around this year, Kushina (13-14) is kidnapped by shinobi from Kumo and rescued by Minato (13-14).
September 15 : Kakashi turns 5.
Kakashi becomes Genin.
Year 1 : 
May 26 : Iruka turns 1.
September 15 : Kakashi turns 6.
Kakashi becomes Chūnin.
Year 2 : 
May 26 : Iruka turns 2.
Sakumo Hatake (around 40) commits suicide.
Kakashi’s generation becomes Genin : Genma (10), Guy (7), Ebisu (10), Shizune (10), Asuma (9), Kurenai (9).
Year 5-6 :
Iruka Umino enters the Academy.
Sasuke enters the Academy at 5 and Itachi at 6. Given that war wages during Iruka’s childhood, I chose to make him enter around this age instead of later, but we have no way to confirm this.
Year 8 :
October 24 : Anko turns 10.
Anko becomes Genin.
Year 9 :
 The Third Shinobi World War ends on an armistice between Konoha and Iwa, Minato becomes Hokage.
Minato is 23, Kohari and Ikkaku are 43-44.
Year 9-10 : Births of the Rookie Nine. 
Year 10 : 
May 26 : Iruka turns 10.
October 10 : Naruto’s birth ; Kurama is freed by Obito and attacks Konoha ; death of Kohari (45) and Ikkaku (45), as well as Minato (24), Kushina (24), Biwako (55) and many others. 
Iruka’s experience of this night is depicted several times in both manga and anime, which explains the slight contradictions. The last version of the event in the manga is probably the most accurate.
Chapter 1 : Iruka is forcefully taken away from the battlefield by an unknown shinobi as he screams that his parents “are still fighting”, although it’s unclear whether he knows this for a fact or is simply in denial.
Rookie Instructor fillers : Kohari wears the traditional Konoha uniform instead of the later grey ANBU-like one (it may be attributed to Iruka’s faulty memory of the event). Iruka is sheltered with other children away from the battlefield but is implied to have escaped when he learns that the squad where his parents were fighting has been decimated. This is the last flashback we have of the event and the anime seems to imply Iruka didn’t get to see his parents again.
Chapter 503 : Kohari wears a grey uniform. She’s already on the brink of death as Ikkaku orders Iruka to flee the battlefield. Similarly to Chapter 1, Iruka is then forcefully taken away despite his protests.
The anime later faithfully animated this scene and its chronology.
October 24 : Anko turns 12.
Anko becomes Chūnin.
The Academy having been destroyed in the Kurama attack, the learning conditions of this year’s students are unclear
Year 11 :
During this year : death of Might Duy (35) protecting Guy (15), Genma (17) and Ebisu (17).
Flashbacks of Iruka joking around to amuse his comrades.
May 26 : Iruka turns 11.
June 9 : Itachi turns 7.
Itachi becomes Genin.
Around this time, flashback with Hiruzen in front of the tombstone. Hiruzen says “It’s been a year” in the English version (indicating this is after the anniversary of the attack) but “It will be a year soon” in the French version (putting the scene before the anniversary). 
November 2nd : Hayate turns 12.
Hayate becomes a Genin (ID 011671)
Iruka becomes a Genin (ID 011850).
November 3rd : Yūgao turns 11.
Possibly in the same promotion [ Ninja ID indicates that they graduated after Iruka ] : Yoroi Akado (11), Iwashi (11), Izumo (12), Kotetsu (13) 
Possibly in the same promotion [ No ninja ID, but same age as Iruka ] : Santa Yamanaka, Maen Nara, Iroha Hyūga
Year 12 :
November 2nd : Hayate turns 13.
Hayate becomes Chūnin.
Year 14 :
February 29 : Kabuto turns 10.
Kabuto becomes Genin (ID 012140).
Yugao (13 or 14) becomes Genin (ID 012161).
June 9 : Itachi turns 10.
Itachi becomes Chūnin.
Year 16 : 
April : Sasuke (5) enters the Academy, Itachi (10) becomes ANBU.
May 26 : Iruka turns 16.
Iruka becomes Chūnin. 
July 23rd : Sasuke turns 6.
October 10 : Naruto turns 6.
Year 16-20 :  Iruka (16-20) becomes a teacher at the Academy (in this post, I tried to pinpoint at what age Iruka might have become a teacher).
Year 18 :
 Itachi (13) and Obito (22-23) massacre the Uchiha clan.
Sasuke is 7, Mikoto is 35, Fugaku is 40.
The event happens between the 9th of June (Itachi’s 13th birthday) and the 23rd of July (Sasuke’s 8th birthday).
Academy days : Iruka teaches Naruto, Shikamaru, Chōji and Kiba the leaf exercice ; flashback of the Academy fight between Naruto and Sasuke 
Year 22 :
May 26 : Iruka turns 22. 
Year 23 :
Naruto Part I begins. 
January 1st : Guy turns 26.
January : events of the first chapters. Naruto (12) discovers he is the host of Kyūbi during the incident with Mizuki (27).
May 26 : Iruka turns 23.
June 11th : Kurenai turns 27.
June 24 : Hiruzen announces the upcoming Chūnin exams. All 3 rookie jōnin-sensei enter their students despite Iruka’s protests. 
The Chūnin exams begin on the 1st of July and end on the 1st of August. Orochimaru attacks Konoha.
August 3rd : Funeral for the Third Hokage
Following the destruction of Konoha, every shinobi (including teachers) has to get back in the field and take missions again.
Unclear for how long: in the third Databook, Iruka has completed 3 additional D-rank, 5 C-rank and 16 B-rank missions before being back at the Academy.
End of the year : Naruto and Sasuke fight at the Valley of the End, Sasuke leaves Konoha to join Orochimaru, Naruto leaves with Jiraiya.
Year 25 : The Konoha 11 become Chūnin.
Year 26 :
Naruto (15) and Jiraiya come back to Konoha.
May 26 : Iruka turns 26.
Year 27 :
Pain attack on Konoha.
October 8 : The Third Shinobi War begins ; Iruka goes to Island Turtle to try and keep Naruto out of the war. 
Morning of October 10 : The War ends, everyone awakes from the Infinite Tsukuyomi.
Naruto discovers he has to take classes for two years with Iruka’s help.
Year 28 : Kakashi (32) becomes Hokage ; Sasuke (18) leaves Konoha.
Year 29 : Events of Naruto: The Last.
Year 30 :
Some time before the wedding, Naruto asks Iruka to stand as his father at the wedding.
Naruto and Hinata’s wedding.
March 27 : Boruto is born.
Year 31-39 : At some point, Iruka (31-39) becomes Headmaster of the Academy. 
Year 32 : Himawari is born.
Year 35 : Naruto (24-25) becomes Hokage.
Year 39 :
End of the year : Chapter 700, epilogue. 
Iruka is 39.
Year 42 : Boruto’s generation (12) graduates.
At some point, Iruka takes care of Sarada while Sasuke and Sakura are on a mission ; he teaches her how to cook? I honestly have no idea when the novels happen and what’s going on in them and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. 
Don’t even ask me about Boruto. 
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From left to right : 5-10 yo ; 10 yo (Kurama attack) ; 10-11 yo (Academy) ; 10-11 yo (Academy) ; 12-16 yo (before or newly Chūnin) ; 16-20 yo (young teacher) ; 22 yo (Part I) ; 26-27 yo (Pain attack) ; 27 yo (Fourth Shinobi War) ; 29-30 yo (Naruto’s wedding) ; 39 (Chapter 700)
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year
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For anyone annoyed by the Tumblr changes, if you're on desktop I would recommend using XKit Rewritten (and New XKit for any other odd changes you'd like to try out, including even older aspects of Tumblr). It's the older version of Rewritten but most of the extensions on it are still supported/do work). I can't guarantee they'll definitely make a fix for it/a direct fix for this particular UI change, but it's possible that they might since they usually make extensions that allow you to essentially revert changes made to the UI. Other various UI extensions (such as old ones from Tumblr's past UIs that the extensions basically just revert you to) may also help fix up your UI.
As you might expect these extensions need to be on to work/revert the appearance of the UI (so if you turn them off you'll revert to the current state of Tumblr), but while they are on you can curate your UI to look how you want it. This goes for both New XKit and XKit Rewritten. I use both and I couldn't live without them lol. You can get some big oldies of Tumblr's, like classic search on Rewritten or the Tweaks extension (full of various UI tweaks) on New XKit (including the old shade of blue Tumblr used a long time ago that I never stopped using!).
Unfortunately I don't know of any solution for mobile if it affects mobile at any point (or if it already has), but whenever you're on desktop, I would definitely recommend both these versions of XKit. I have so many extensions from them that I often don't even realize when there are UI changes (remember how Tumblr added themes for your dashboard? I didn't even notice for the longest time because I've had New XKit on the whole time) because Tumblr's default coding is overwritten by the extensions I have on.
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It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.
Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!
Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.
one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd#dnd writing#oc: Zara#<- I guess she gets a tag now#dnd vignettes#morrigan plays dnd#ngl this vignette is the first thing that I've written in MONTHS that wasn't the product of a single session of manic typing.#so I'm very very proud of myself for that.#it's currently 4001 words long which is a decent chunk!! And there's parts at the beginning that I skipped over at the time but want to go#back and add to at some point.#plus I'm still not at the end of it yet.#there's more I want to get to.#but anyways: I wrote 231 words tonight and I would have written more if not for the DM of Rook's game finally replying to my messages.#who know maybe I'll still write some more before I go to bed. though I probably shouldn't.#the street performer annecdote was probably 20+ years ago now... probably close to the same time she got her tattoo.#(yes Zara has a tattoo. It was an impulse decision when she was young and she regrets it now. Her crew doesn't even know it exists.#it's of a mermaid sitting in a clamshell and it's on her thigh. Very much a stereotypical silly sailor thing that she got without thinking.#She definitely regrets it and wishes it were gone. But thanks to magic ink that never fades it still looks brand new. So... RIP.)#don't ask me why I know so much about Zara. The funny thing is that I don't even know her backstory. The DM is keeping it from me until we#get to the town where she is. That she somehow became the mayor of????? All I know is that she has some kind of history with Wolf.#from well before Rook ever joined her crew. And that Wolf took Rook to get back at her for it. Whatever it is.#and I have no idea how the fuck a former pirate captain became mayor of a port town lmao. In some ways it makes sense in others it doesn't.#I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.#ugh I don't wanna wait though. I've been waiting to meet Zara ever since I made Rook's character over a year and a half ago.#patience Morri. Patience.
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sysig · 9 months
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Cool guys, measured in C° (Patreon)
#Doodles#Fionna and Cake#Adventure Time#Simon Petrikov#Winter King#Mostly leftover doodles at this point - chilling (lol)#Ughhh I'm so frustrated by the first one because I'm so pleased with it but it's from a plot thread I had to cut because it suuuuucked lol#I mean it's not Terrible and I probably could reuse it elsewhere but it super doesn't fit into the timeline I drew it at >:P Rude#If I reuse it he'll look different! Ugh! The whole point is that he's cute Exactly Like That!#I got really into draw half-Winterized/Ice Kingified Simon for a bit and gosh heck his design - it never misses! Gorgeous#The rest was mostly around speculating Winter's senses returning after Everything - would it all happen at once? I don't think so ♪#I've seen one interpretation that he kept his long hair but not the facial hair :0 It's interesting to be sure!#I like the idea of him having to kinda build everything back - even if it's able to be done quickly he still has to excavate himself!#Just shoops his facial hair back inside his body egh wouldn't it be easier to just cut it lol#What's the fun in magic if you can't use it for weird stuff ♪#It was fun to draw his facial hair in stages as well haha ♫ Scraggly#Also thinking about him just a touch more in my own style - I made his tongue purpley in the silly BDG shitpost I made but still thinking!#I really like the versions of him that look frostbitten or at least with that bruised look on his knuckles and so on#Something like a nice purple lip gloss - tips of his ears - maybe even around his eyes - definitely his cheeks and knuckles#Making him look almost dead....I mean he's not an elemental :) He's a human who's only real lifeline is The Crown :)#Making him look a little more dead than Simon - it feels fitting#Speaking of - just a couple silly Simon doodles to round off#I'm too used to drawing butts as part of like exaggerated poses :P I'd like to practice a bit more#Him and Spamton lol what Is it with glasses'd long-nosed characters linked to ice magic lately having asses larger than their self worth lol
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hussyknee · 3 months
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Day probably-twenty-something-time-isn't real: this flare is not going the fuck away. Still shitting blood. Meds aren't helping. Getting less able to stomach anything. Pain is getting worse. Can barely stand long enough to shower. Probably time to do a blood test and go to the doctor now.
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So you know how there's three in-game days per real-world hour in Minecraft? For fanfiction purposes, I started making some notes and doing calculations to figure out how that would translate into things like how long was each Hermitcraft season and Life series in in-game time. You know, things normal people think about at 4 am.
And my results probably aren't anywhere near exact, because trying to hold numbers and calculations in my head is ridiculously difficult and I'm sure I've done something wrong somewhere, but they're close enough for my purposes.
But anyway, when you're writing pining and perceived-unrequited love, looking at it in terms of in-game time puts a WILDLY different spin on things, yikes.
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hippo-pot · 1 year
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i'm being so normal about OMitB. Mabel as the hearing counterpart to the Deaf character is not pissing me off. because i am normal
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zorrxchicle · 2 years
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so about that "the medieval peasant you're trying to scare with doritos is gonna make you feather and butcher a chicken and you're gonna cry" post... is the implication there that we'll have to kill the chicken ourselves? or just that we're gonna have to like, deal with a whole dead chicken? and if the latter, are whole dead chickens that far removed from the average urban usamerican lifestyle? im really lost here
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harrowharkwife · 2 years
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#god i need to go back to therapy but i don't want to unless i can find a therapist#who is experienced in working with autistic adults#i just. ive accepted at this point that om not going to get anywhere#or get anything helpful#out of therapy until/unless i start acknowledging my autism in the process instead of trying to continue pretending it's not there#like. talk therapy just isn't going to be useful for me otherwise. I've hit the ceiling in terms of what progress i can make#without turning over that log#and i just. i really WANT therapy for my autism. not in a 'fix me' sense bc there's nothing wrong with me#i love my autism#but. it's getting to be really god damn fucking painful and embarrassing and heartbreaking feeling like i can't have a fucking conversation#i just. i want to work on my social skills. they didn't use to be this bad idk what happened! the pandemic probably tbh but ugh#i just. never know what to say or how to say it and it feels like im constantly fumbling and im never paying enough attention#to the other person bc im too busy just trying to fucking listen to them and process what they're saying and figure out what to say back#and i just get so nervous about communicating correctly that what comes out of my mouth doesn't match my thoughts at all#i barely even know what i'm saying half the time and that's. terrifying#but it's just so hard finding a therapist already let alone finding one whos a) experienced in evidence based and compassionate autism care#and b) normal and not an ableist freak about it
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jabeur · 2 days
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whenever i'm with large groups of people i have at least one moment of Oh God. People Think I'm Either A Man Or A Woman. it's like getting shocked every time lmao party meme but it's they don't know i'm nonbinary
#he looked scared! like i might think badly of him or treat him differently!#i have many gay friends!#i did? kind of come out? to my coworker?#but i mean she already knew i'm gay lmao it's so obvious when you assume i'm a man that i'm not straight 😭😭#i did have to make a split second decision to say either bi or gay and i said gay 😭 i do use both interchangeably personally#bc i use gay as like an umbrella term for not straight#but i know people tend to think of only homosexual and heterosexual lol bisexual people don't exist <3#but really i didn't feel like doing a lesson on what bisexuality is if it was needed so 😭😭#my coworker was cool with it i was like i mean you probably know already but i'm gay lol and she said yeah i knew but it's your business#but um she was kinda outing our ex coworker? and i know she told me bc i'm obviously gay myself but.......#it's not cool to tell me when he only mentioned his bf to her and she said he looked scared that she might judge him.... like it's not cool#to tell period but especially since it was clearly said bc he trust *her* with the info#if they're openly out and the person already knows well ofc whatever you can talk about it but it wasn't like that so#but the thing IS....... that i only really realised she was outing him afterwards? my bad truly. i was uncomfortable in the moment#but for some reason it didn't click why til later#bc like at first i thought it was bc she said something like 😭😭 girl. how should he know you'd be cool with it. we live in This Society.#so i was uncomfy like uhhh. and i said well i mean you probably know already but i'm gay too and even if there's a p high chance that peopl#will be okay with it in this day & age (i didn't say but. bit different for trans ppl. i'm not out as trans) we can never know#so it makes sense to be scared to say it!#and she was like yes! but i am okay with it and he looked so scared! i truly know so many and i love them even more than others!#😭😭😭😭😭 she means well but seriously HOW SHOULD HE KNOW ALL THAT 😭😭😭😭 it doesn't work like that girl.....#i mean ? *i* never told her i'm gay 😭😭 and i've known her for 2 years and a half almost. this guy worked with us for like a few months#anyway i wish i was quicker to realise bc i would've told her out on it like...... really not your thing to tell other people 😵‍💫😵‍💫#still. i am glad i said it. even when it's obvious and wouldn't need telling#it's NOT easy to like. know that everyone knows. not for me at least. especially with the added layer of being trans (AND nonbinary)#bc i don't think ppl i haven't told know that. i think cis ppl are quite bad at like.. knowing transmasc ppl exist lol#so i go by he/him only in italian (no other options lol) and i'm. not really completely masc and don't “pass” super well but when#i present myself as nico and talk abt myself w masculine words ppl just either ignore that and go she! :) or think alright. (cis) gay man#and at work it's the latter after i've worked there for over 2 years. like i'm not out as trans so ppl draw those conclusions#i don't think it'd shock ppl if i said i'm trans but simply put cis ppl at least cis italian ppl dont know shit abt trans men and transmasc
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rivilu · 5 months
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Wait. Logistically speaking. Would Elluin even know how to read.
#i've had this in the drafts contemplating for days#like. he had a frankenstein creature situation of being reborn with no memory of anything.#and even if language magically stuck with him you got the First World time thing going on#something something you're alone after coming into a new existence. You're on a field. It's day. And you exist#and you exist. and you exist. and you exist. and you exist. It's day.#is it the same? is it different?#you exist. nothing changes. you slowly lose your mind. it's still day. you exist. you exist.#thorns grow around you. under you. under your skin. do you have skin? The more you struggle the worse it gets. It's still day#anything he did know he forgot at that time so#even after being kicked off to golarion it's not like he could have like. a teacher dfjg#half of it was spent in an inq asylum which was not at all traumatizing and from which he got out in a very moral way for sure#and after that he was scraping by on the streets until areelu snatched him up#like. makes sense he's be able to Speak common- as this all takes place through an indeterminate amount of years#up to interpretation since he wasnt keeping track but the post first world era alone was probably many centuries.#but when would he have been able to pick up reading? Since he'd have to do it on his own too.#not like a fucked up little not quite but mostly fey creature could go up to any temple and expect to be trusted enough for charity#the hc is that the wound winds up disguising his fey with a mortal soul business since it overshadows it. before that though nope!#he'd have been clocked as fey by anyone that can sense it even in elf form#basically. Galfrey what have you fucking done putting this guy in charge dfjghfh#maybe he can read a LITTLE. just enough to make do at first at least#would probably try to get some help on the sly because there's a minimum of two companions that should Never Know (Nenio and Daeran)#Nenio for reasons you can probably guess Daeran less because Ellu cares about being insulted-#more so because he doesn't have anything funny to retort with. like yeah i can't. kind of sad isn't it. and now the conversation is awkward#great and now i'm thinking about how much he deserved to live again#There's some great parallels with Orion actually. They were in a very similar mental place at the climax of their respective stories#dare i say Elluin actually deserved to live more. Which is why he doesn't#oc: elluin
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