#happy birthday to the boy who cries when he’s overwhelmed and tells his friends he loves them and is honoured to serve with them

[autisticlancemcclain]

happy birthday to the boy with the biggest bleeding heart in the universe. keith kogane i love you

[thenovelartist]

Boys as Dads - Tears of Themis Headcanons

I've been sitting on this for days, writing it after @luke-appreciator mentioned the boys as dads and henceforth planting the idea in my mind.

Luke

LOOK! Luke is living past his three year “time limit” goshdarnit! He gets to see his kids grow up!

And he has several of them with his MC (I’m thinking four or five.)

They were all mostly planned. (They were just rolling with however many they were blessed with until they decided to stop.)

When his first child was born, he cried. He didn’t think he’d get this opportunity, but now he’s a dad and feels overwhelmed by the blessing.

He is as involved in his kids’ lives as he possibly can be.

He’s the dad that will teach his kids how to fix everything.

Totally the hands-on dad of wrestling and headlocks and ruffling their hair.

Yes, even his girls, but in a slightly different context. Uses those moments to teach them self-defense. (Yes, he’ll do that to his boys, but he’s more concerned about his girls.)

That said, he’s very protective of his kids and wants to give them all the knowledge he can to make sure they can keep themselves safe.

Will try to get his kids into Sherlock Holmes.

One of his kids is named John after John Watson. It was actually MC’s idea, much to Luke’s surprise and delight.

When he’s away on mission (which already makes him sad because he doesn’t like being away from his precious family), he hates it when he has to go full dark mode. Because he’d at least like to call them and tell them good night if he can’t be there.

The king of pictures.

There are cameras scattered throughout the house so he can easily steal a picture whenever he wants to.

Will put together scrapbooks upon scrapbooks of photographs for all kinds of events. The kids get in on these activities, and it has become a bit of a family event to arrange the pages together.

Not a day goes by he takes for granted. Does not matter if he’s cleaning up diapers or one of his kids is sick or he’s having to do damage control when something gets out of hand. He cherishes all of it.

Vyn

I see Vyn having one or two. Both were totally planned.

Mostly, he just sees children as patients, but now, he’s got two children he actually raises.

And the moment his first child is placed into his arms, he realizes with sickening clarity that his actions have a direct impact on their lives.

While he knew that beforehand, there was a moment it clicked, and Vyn felt himself change that day.

He strives to be the best father he can, minding everything he does to lead by example.

He didn’t have the greatest childhood, meaning he does everything he can to make sure his kids never have to experience the things he wished never happened to him.

He’s a bit of a helicopter parent despite knowing he needs to not be. All he wants to do is protect his kids, is that so wrong?

However, because of that, he happens to understand and sympathize with parents more now. His kids wrecked him in ways he didn’t think possible.

It’s a bit of a learning experience for him to allow his kids to learn on their own. He knows so much and wants to just tell them everything they need to know, but realizes that he can’t do that. He has to let them learn and grow in their own ways.

He wants to give his kids the best, from quality schooling to extracurricular activities. But he’s also is more than happy to teach them their way around the kitchen and garden as well as play games and do puzzles with them.

Also really enjoys reading them books at bedtime. A habit that will linger around for surprisingly long while.

He’s the dad that is glad to help with homework whenever they need it.

Always offers to listen to them and talk them through things. It would be pretty shameful if the psychiatrist couldn’t help guide his own kids through their own mental hurdles.

And he knows he did something right because his kids are comfortable talking with him about a lot of things, even in their teenage and young adult years.

Ends up the dad who has the best life advice that his kids eventually learn to always listen to even if they don’t appreciate it when they’re younger.

Artem

Ends up with a large family, both adopting and raising his own.

Probably two of their own, and two or three (or four… maybe five) adopted.

The kids they had were planned; the ones they adopted… not always. It tended to be a “this one grew on you unexpectedly” situation.

Loves all his kids equally, whether they’re his own or adopted.

Super supportive dad. Probably spoils his kids in praise and hugs.

That being said, he won’t coddle them. He’s all for supporting them, but knows when to allow his kids face the negative consequences of their actions. He’s an attorney, after all. This is his “justice” side showing.

But he’s fair. He will guide them the best he can but will let experience be the teacher if he needs to. And if experience is the cruel teacher of the day, he’ll be there, whether to pick them up, dust them off, and offer hugs or to talk them through how to best navigate the consequences and avoid the situation next time.

His schedule revolves around any and all events in his kids’ lives. Which, considering the size of his family, is a balancing act.

Days off are sacred. That is his time to spend with his family.

Nightly family dinners are a big thing in the Wing household. Game nights on weekends are even bigger. And louder.

He’s the dad that can go from tutus and tea parties to action figures and lego sets. Whatever his kids are up for, he’ll gladly participate.

Every year, for each kid’s birthday, will spend one-on-one time with them and do whatever they want to do for an entire day. With a big family, especially with the adopted ones, he knows it might be easy to feel lost in the crowd and doesn’t want any of his kids thinking that.

Once a year, they go on a week-long vacation somewhere in nature. No phones, no technology; this is family bonding time and time for kids to just run around and be kids.

All in all, grade A dad.

Marius

Ends up with two or three.

The first one was a surprise, and likely one more after that was not planned, either.

But the moment he holds his first child, a switch goes off in his mind and Marius matures, knowing he’s got not only his girl to protect and keep safe but now a helpless little one who’s wholly dependent upon him.

He’s probably the second most hover-y of the boys behind Vyn. And that’s less because he’s a helicopter parent and more because he knows he’s a target for people and is very concerned for his kids’ safety. So he’s hypervigilant of everything, including what school they go to, who they’re friends with, where they go, etc.

Their house… oh my…

He’s an artist, and he will inspire that in his kids. There’s paint, stickers, crayons, and markers freaking everywhere.

Oh, and art taped to practically every wall. And a few in his office.

Marks every major event down on a calendar. His assistant knows there will be hell to pay if there’s a scheduling mishap.

Never let him help with homework (unless it’s art). Because he’s the guy who will teach his kids the smartass answers to some questions, even if it gets his kids in trouble.

(Spoiler: his kids never mind and instead pick up his bad habits.)

(Much to MC’s chagrin. Will make Marius go sit in the corner, much to his children’s delight.)

Will put his kids into any extracurricular activities they want growing up.

Totally spoils them in that way.

But the minute they turn into little shits about their wealth? Say good bye to your technology for the next few days. Marius is all about spoiling his kids, but not rotten. Even he hates snotty rich people he has to deal with, and he’s not gonna let his kids be like that.

Loves spending time doing things with his kids. Up for anything from the midday ice creams when mom told them no to spontaneous adventures. Oh yeah, he’s that dad.

[svchengss]

two halves | l.mh

PAIRING. mark lee x reader

GENRE. fluff, heavy angst

WARNINGS. major character death, grief

WORD COUNT. 2.4k

SUMMARY. right after his death, mark watches how you cope with the loss

A/N. i saw this one tiktok and it kinda inspired me to write this

// just to let you guys know, reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !! thank you for reading :D

white walls, white room.

mark scrunched his face, his eyelashes slowly fluttering open, the dark brown iris adjusting the size of the pupils due to the brightness of the walls reflected upon it. a soft groan vibrating from his throat, he assessed his surroundings where nobody or nothing else is present. he looked down to inspect his clothing, hoping that it would give him any clue of this room or space he’s in - an all white outfit. this scene looks exactly like the one in the movies where the characters realize they are dead. except this time, he really is.

THE REALIZATION.

the muffled sounds of cries and sobs rang through his eardrums, triggering a reflex to wake up from the state that he thought was a slumber. he is lying on the hospital bed with the light blue clothing piece, faint light illuminating the space where people are huddled up around him. he waved his right hand in the air to let them - who he later remembered as his family members and friends, know that his eyes are already open. nobody moved even the slightest, the atmosphere being very much dead, scent of medicine intoxicating his mind.

then he saw someone who he holds very dear to his heart - you, enter the hospital room, dropping onto her knees as soon as she saw his state of condition. in an instant, he shot up from his lying position and ran over towards the crying you, shoulders shaking and all. bringing his hands to hold you in his embrace, not even a glance spared by you brought a hundred and one questions to him. why didn’t anybody acknowledge him when he woke up? why can’t you feel his touch?

“mark lee. time of death, 10:23 pm,” the tall doctor with glasses rested on the bridge of his nose announced before leaving the room, holding the clipboard close to his chest. mark gauged the monitor screen next to the bed, the line indicating his heartbeat is no longer showing spikes going up and down - instead becoming a flat line, deafening beep present with it. then he sees himself still laying on the white sheets, eyes still closed and no signs of breathing evident. a surge of panic rushed through his veins.

this can’t be real.

mark rushed into the bathroom, a surprised gasp leaving his lips. his body is semi-transparent, the shape of the toilet bowl can be seen through his left shoulder. his body shakes with terror, slapping himself in the cheeks multiple times just to make sure that this whole fiasco is just a nightmare.

oh my god. no, this is real.

mark stood in the back of the crowd, witnessing the funeral of someone and that someone being him. of course, he’s never expected to get the sight of his own service. his mother is standing beside you, her hands rubbing circles onto your back in an attempt to calm your mourning state. you’re still looking ever so pretty, a black chiffon dress on your body with white pearl necklace on your collarbones and your wavy black hair hanging down your shoulders. not that anybody else would notice, it’s someone’s death after all.

“stay strong, y/n. he will always be in our hearts,” the same rhythm of sentence in tones full of pity being directed towards you. mark’s sister enveloped you into a warm hug despite the chilly atmosphere, whispering comforting words into your ears before getting into the family’s car. you’re not going back home, not yet when you still feel reluctant to let him go.

“why did you leave me?” the only coherent words from your hoarse voice can be heard. mark, who is crouching next to you, is holding his tears back. instead, he sends a sorrowful smile - not that you can see him anyway. is there any way to let you know of his presence?

“goodbye, love. i’ll see you tomorrow. i promise,” you dusted the back of your dress from any dirt or debris, leaving a rose on his tombstone. the thing is, he doesn’t want to part from you. and that’s why his figure is seated beside you in the cab. he grazed his thumb on your knuckles, making you feel tingles rushing through. you pushed the slight thought away, you must be tired to be feeling things.

you slowly opened the door to your apartment, you and mark’s to be exact. the whole house is making those memories make their presence in the back of your head again. the kitchen where you two baked cookies for christmas last year. the bedroom where you snuggled upon his chest, not wanting to start your day just yet. the piano where he sang those cheesy songs for you. the living room where you slow danced at 3 in the morning. his favourite mug resting on the countertop, probably will not be used again. this whole situation is too overwhelming for you. you feel weak.

with each day passing by, you didn’t even miss one without a visit to his resting lot. you would tell him stories of how your day went or something that you read which would made him ponder. the words carved on it are already etched onto your brain.

mark lee. a son, a brother and a loving partner.

the clock hanging on the grey wall has it’s arms stretched out to display the time - two in the morning. you can’t sleep just yet, not having any for the past few days even. dark circles are appearing around your eyes, not yet recovered from the puffiness from all the crying. mark’s heart aches everytime he takes upon your state. he feels very guilty, not that death was his choice after all. it’s simply fate, a cycle of life, a destiny that every single creature on this planet will end up with.

you’ve taken the whole month off work, still feeling ever so helpless. in fact, you can’t even remember the last time you’ve stepped out of the apartment, the night before his passing perhaps? you’ve completely shut yourself out from any interactions - deactivating your social media, not accepting any calls. you just need time to heal.

as if you’re being controlled by some type of mastermind, you shoot up on the balls of your feet, pulling away from the couch. those images of you slow dancing with mark, hands in each other’s holds, your chin rested in the crook of his neck and being ever so engrossed in love are coming back more often now. you trudged to the vinyls arranged neatly on the shelf, picking one before placing it on the turntable - frank sinatra, one of his all time favourites.

holding your hands up at about his usual height, you start twirling around. you can almost see the outline of his smile, his features right in front of you. except, he is. he’s been observing your moves the whole night. mirroring your current position, as if you can really see him, it’s a miracle for him. overjoyed actually, he doesn’t realize the salty tears streaming down his cheekbones and so are yours.

“thank you for coming, dear. it’s a pleasure seeing you in what, weeks?” a laugh escaped the woman’s lips. you reciprocated her hug before stepping into the living room. it’s been a long time since you’ve been here, was it in january? mrs. lee had invited you over for a simple dinner, checking up on how you’ve been. you can see that the family is still struggling over his passing, the way his sister’s eyes are not twinkling as usual makes it hard to cover up the lie.

“you see, this was on his high school graduation day. he was very happy that day, doing all sorts of dances and stuff. finally escaping from hell as he said,” she giggled. she’s been displaying all sorts of memoirs to you, photo albums and photographs scattered on the wooden floor. to be honest, you’ve never seen these before. all smiles mark lee, easy to notice among the crowd. not that he’s changed, he’s still that boy now. mark just sat on the couch - his favourite spot, observing the throwback session going on. if he’s still here, his sister for sure is going to tease the hell out of him.

“he told us so much about you, you know? as if everything reminds him of you, that boy is lovestruck. really,” that sudden confession made your tongue dry, unable to find a perfect response. you were really that special to him.

“drive safe honey, you can come over whenever you want. you know you��re always welcome here, right?” mrs. lee handed you the small box filled with some things you’re going to keep. she kissed both of your cheeks, mr. lee standing behind her giving you a small wave. a small smile crept up onto your face before igniting the engine, turning your wheels out of the housing area.

the netflix show is playing on the television, the faint voices of the characters playing in the background. you’re sitting on the floor, flipping through the photo journal you two decorated throughout your one year of relationship. you can see his little scribbles and doodles, often a little dinosaur symbolising your always grumpy personality.

in one photo, a golden birthday hat is nicely placed on your head with him kissing your right cheek. you remember clearly, a surprise party for you last year. in the following ones, they are mostly candid shots - you blowing out the candles while he looks at you full of love, him eating a portion of your dish while you pout your lips. you would say it was the night of your life, spending it with the guy who stole your heart.

the next page of the journal is a shot of mark taking a photo of you in the park. you suppose it was taken by donghyuck? that one picture of you was stuck as his lock screen wallpaper for a while, you remembered getting so embarrassed over it. mark would give you the same excuse every time you questioned him about it, implying that the sight of you would light up his whole day. cheesy really, but that was what remained as memories of the past, tied neatly in your heart.

the rain trickling against your window eventually made you doze off to wonderland, creating the perfect chance for mark to browse through the journal in your hands. carefully lifting it from yours so that you won’t be stirred from your sleep, he settled down in the space beside your sleeping figure. slowly turning the pages, he smiled fondly at each photo holding a thousand moments that can’t be recreated ever again. some of them would make him giggle. he kneeled down slightly to place a soft kiss on your forehead, making you squirm a little due to the faint touch.

“give him a chance. i’m not saying that you should forget mark but it’s been months, you should live up a little,” yerim’s voice sounding concerned from the other end of the line. perhaps she’s right but you just need more time. but how much longer? you’re afraid you yourself have no specific answer for that enquiry.

you’ve been feeling better by now, welcoming people back into your life and carrying out the same daily routine of yours. going to work, buying groceries, going to the drive-thru and whatnot. of course, the void is still obvious - coming back home to an empty atmosphere instead of him waiting for you on the couch, sometimes dozing off, no more weekend cafe runs. but at least you’re trying your best. you bid your goodbyes before tapping the red button, ending the call. plopping the device onto the mattress, you stared at the white ceiling, deep in your own thoughts.

you should give him a chance. live up a little.

yes, you should.

getting hold of the phone and immediately opening the messages app, you searched for jungwoo’s number. he’s been trying to take you out for dinner for a while now. you still remember his exact words, whenever you’re ready he’s always there, waiting for you. you’re not really sure about that particular question but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, right?

typing in the words ‘okay, sure’ is already a pressure for you but you still proceeded to press the send button. glancing at the clock showing the time, the notification ping redirected your focus onto the screen.

jungwoo: cool, is tomorrow night okay with you? i’ll drive, of course :)

tomorrow night. okay, tomorrow night.

an elegant red gown is wrapping your curves perfectly, a thin necklace with the seashell charm around your neck while your lips is decorated with the dark red tone, highlighting your poise appearance. hearing the doorbell ring, you tidied up the dresser as your eyes landed onto the picture frame holding a photo of you and mark. a sad feeling crept into your heart but you pushed it away, opening the door to reveal jungwoo in a black and white tuxedo.

you would say that the dinner went well, none of his questions or chatters crossing any borderline. he’s just so polite, even you are amused. feeling comfortable with his presence, the small gap in between is eventually closing down since you’ve learned so much about each other during the other few dates. one night completely changed it for you, him offering you a dance at some event he’s bringing you with.

you observed that his moves are slightly similar to mark’s - not completely of course, mark’s is very unique and very…mark-ish. for the first time ever in the recent turn of events, you flashed a genuine smile. one that is not just for show, one that only comes out when you’re truly elated, one that you only manage to give to certain. mark just observed the scene from a distance, admiring how you’ve managed to find the spark of happiness you once lost.

alas, mark saw his other half become full again with another, her eyes twinkling with the same joy but this time, it’s not him in the reflection.

[letarasstuff]

Girl meets World

(A/N): This was requested by an anon and is based on a show named 'Boy meets world', tho I never watched it so I went solely with the summary from said anon. I hope you still like it :)

Summary: Spencer's daughter is not ready for her first kiss. But are her classmates fine with that?

Warnings: Mean kids, angst but fluff at the end

Wordcount: 1.6k

✨Masterlist✨ ___________________________

Being on the not so popular side in school is not particularly hard, but it doesn’t exactly make things easier for (Y/N). That’s why Spencer was happy to hear from her invitation to a classmate’s birthday party.

“You call me and I’ll get you. I don’t mind if it’s in ten minutes or in two hours. Whenever you feel uncomfortable or you are done with peopling, it’s fine wanting to leave. Ok?” Her father tells her, sitting with her in the car in front of the birthday girl’s house. “Understood. Thank you, Dad. I see you no later than ten. Love you!”

Off she goes. Spencer watches (Y/N) going up the path to the front door, a bright colored bag with a gift in her hand. He considers driving up to Penelope’s apartment, which is only five minutes away, and cries with her over his daughter growing up with a tub of ice cream in both their hands. A second later the father puts his plan into motion.

Meanwhile (Y/N) is inside with a bunch of people from different classes. All those kids already make her nervous. But she is determined to make it through the night. After all, the girl doesn’t want to be seen as a baby that gets overwhelmed by a room full of human beings.

At first it isn’t that bad. (Y/N) finds a few classmates she has a class or two with and they converse. Until someone screams “Let’s play Spin-The-Bottle”. Now the eleven year old kind of feels like she is on a movie or a show. What’s next, she has to kiss the boy she has a crush on since the beginning of the school year?

Still all of the children gather around in a circle and a bottle is placed in the middle. “The rules are simple”, a kid explains, “The bottle chooses two people. They get five minutes in that closet over there.” Right, just like she predicted. (Y/N) is hesitant. They are too young to do something like that. Once again she doesn’t want to be the party pooper, so she sits down between two classmates.

Every time the bottle spins a dread weighs down in her stomach. (Y/N) is only eleven years old. Is she even ready to have her first kiss in a closet? Shouldn’t it be out of love, willently without anybody forcing two random people to such an act?

Seems like the others think these rules are fair and square. Everybody is participating with the utmost joy. Maybe it’s just her, who grew up with romantic novels written by people who not even her Grandmother witnessed alive being read to her for bed night.

Deep into calculating the probability of the bottle pointing to her, it needs a few shouts and a nudge to get (Y/N) out of her head. “Looks like it’s your turn to go into the closet”, her neighbor says to her, gesturing to the bottle, which in fact points towards her. The girl swears that the color of her cheeks is even darker than a tomato.

Shyly she gets up to the wardrobe. The remaining girls nod encouragingly while the next person is chosen by the bottle. Luckily it’s not the boy she has a crush on, this would be like in a fanfiction, too much like a cliché.

Just a few seconds later she finds herself in the closet. Is it appropriate to make a joke about coming out of the closet?

“Well, here we are”, the other boy says. (Y/N) thinks his name is Tyler. “Yeah, I guess.” She shuffles her foot and scratches her neck. “So, shouldn’t we kiss or something?”

Geez, that boy is out for action. “Uhm, what about if we do not? I’m not ready for that and no offence but I want my first kiss with somebody special and you are just a boy from my grade and there are no feelings between us and I need that special moment, because I’m a hopeless romantic.” The girl says all of this in one breath, making her speech pace compete with her father’s.

But Tyler smiles. “It’s okay. I get it, really. I won’t tell anyone. We can just sit here and talk until they knock. How does that sound?” (Y/N) smiles and nods. They sit down on some boxes and just laugh quietly about anything and everything they tell each other.

As soon as they have to come out of the closet, the other kids bombard them with questions. Tyler shuts all of them with one answer up. “A lady and gentleman are quiet and enjoy themselves.”

The rest of the evening goes relatively uneventful. There is a nice buffet and after that the kids watch a couple of movies until the first parents show up to pick up their children. Spencer is relieved to see his daughter so energetic and happy after the party.

“And then we played spin the bottle like in a teen movie. Dinner was also really nice and I think I made one or two more friends. Isn’t it amazing, Dad?” He answers her enthusiastically that he is in fact very happy for her. And Spencer is. But it kind of also implies that she grows up, a fact he doesn’t like.

The party was on a Saturday night and now it’s Monday, the first day after it. (Y/N) is ecstatic to go. In her mind her classmates finally accepted her for who she is. But as soon as she enters the school yard the kids from her grade look weirdly at her.

Immediately the girl’s mind goes into panic. Has she something on her face? Is it the way she dresses? Or is it some- The kiss. Or technically the not kiss.

“Hey Reid, I heard you are unkissed. What about I show you in the janitor’s room? Do you also want rose petals and candles laying around?” Someone starts to taunt her. The bystanding classmates begin to laugh.

(Y/N) has to listen to similar comments for the rest of the school day. A few boys from her science class make kissing noises whenever the teacher isn’t near them. Tyler once catches her eyes, mouthing an apology. But it’s not relevant to her at this point. The only thing that counts right now is getting through the last class without breaking down in front of the others. She can’t show them any more weakness.

When his daughter comes home, Spencer is already there. Hotch gave them an early off, since the last few cases were draining for all of them.

Instead of greeting him with a smile and the definition of happiness she enters the apartment with the biggest frown the father has ever seen on her face. “Hey Dad”, (Y/N) flatly says before disappearing into her room.

Confused, he assumes that she just has to do a load of homework, so he lets the girl be for the next couple hours. But as the clock is pushing near dinner time, he begins to worry.

“Sweetheart, I thought about cooking pasta for tonight. Do you wanna help me try Uncle Dave’s new recipe?” He asks at her closed door, respecting her privacy. There is no answer, just a sniffle from the other side. This alarms Spencer. “Sweetheart, may I come in?”

A few seconds pass until a faint “Yes” makes its way to his ears. Inside (Y/N) sits on her bed, her eyes are red from crying. “Oh Sweetheart, don’t be upset. Whatever it is, we can fix it. Tell me, what’s wrong?” The young doctor tries to console her. It’s always more difficult to calm your own family down than any stranger he meets on a case.

“I-it’s stupid. I don’t know why I’m upset over this.” (Y/N) frantically wipes the leftover tears away. “Hey, don’t say that. Your feelings are valid. You can be upset about anything you want, ok? If you don’t want to tell me about it, it’s fine. But I promise you that I’ll value whatever you say.”

The girl nods, finding her composure. “I- At the party we played Spin-The-Bottle and whoever was chosen had to go into the closet with the second one and kiss. I-I was in there with a boy named Tyler, b-but I told him I wasn’t ready. H-he was really sweet about it and respected my reasons. Dad, I’m not old enough and it wouldn’t be anything like I imagined my first kiss would be. But now the whole school or what feels like the whole school makes fun of me a-and I was so embarrassed.”

Spencer can feel her pain. Kids can be worse than professional torturers, he witnessed both first hand. “Oh Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’ll think of something about it. How do you feel about coming with me into the office? The others are missing you, especially Emily. She has a ton of pictures of Sergio she wants to show you. And for tonight we get your favorite take out and watch a movie of your choice, ok?”

(Y/N) smiles at the thought of the pictures she is going to see. “Yes! Can we get pizza and watch Lion King?” Even though it will be the fifth time they watch this movie this month, Spencer is happy to do anything his daughter wants. She has him wrapped around her finger.

So not long after this heartfelt conversation they sit on the sofa in the living room, crying their eyeballs out after Mufasa died. He deserved better.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[mostlikelytofangirl]

How do you think things would have gone if JGY's father had actually loved him (we can assume the paternal instincts kick in a little while after they met)?

- Regular Anon

OMG literally everything would have been better XD.

We are gonna have to do some mental gymnastics here, but let's pretend that JGS is not that much of an awful human being, and while he is a cheater and whatever, he does care about his children.

So this kid appears at his door the day of his son's birthday, he claims to be his son too, and while JGS is wary bc he's still a manwhore in this AU, he does let him in to listen to what he has to say and... everything adds up. The pearl, the place, the timeline, even some physical ressemblance. Yes, this scrawny boy is his son.

Cue parental instincts kicking in.

This MY kid had just lost his mother, is obviously malnourished in some way and definitely has had it rough. We can't have that for a child of Jin descent! He quickly instructs the servants to run a bath for the boy, get him proper clothes and feed him. JGS goes to rejoin the celebration bc he's not dumb enough to cause a scene during the party. Once it is over, MY is taken to him again, JZX is confused bc this is not the horse he expected as gift; instead, his dad goes full Happy Birthday, son! Your present this year is a brother :D.

It's all a mess; Madam Jin is outraged, JZX is... still confused, MY is a little scared. But his father stands between him and his raging wife. MY is as much his son and JZX, they were even born on the same day, but to placate Madam Jin, it is agreed that JZX will be treated like the first born and totally still the heir. And that's how MY's birthday gift was a father and a gege and a new home and name: Jin Ziyao.

That evening little JZY is given everything his mother promised he would get: a big, warm bedroom all for himself, nice expensive clothes, servants at his disposition. He cries at how overwhelming it all is and how much he wished his mother would be with him, but he is also so, so happy and so grateful to his father, who sits with him that night, trying to sooth him and ease him into his new life. His new family needs a time of adjustment, he explains, but he can be friends with JZX and Madam Jin is not going to hurt him bc his father won't let her. JGS tells him of the things they'll have to check on the next day: making the addition of Second Young Master Jin official and public, start a proper education and training... all things JZY is excited for and promising to do his best to honor his new family.

JZY sticks to his father like glue whenever he is not busy with his new tutors and instructors. JGS notices that sadly his new son started cultivation a bit too late (not as late as canon so he still gets stronger here), but he is amazing at administrative functions. JGS knows an asset when he sees it, and while he's not going to stop JZY's tratining as a proper cultivator, he does shifts his education into a more scholar and state focused one. JZX might be the golden boy of Lanling, but JZY is extremely capable and will be the perfect political right hand for his brother. JZY is more similar to JGS than JZX anyways: cunning, diplomatic, practical. JGS may have a bit of a soft spot for him.

Slowly, JZX and JZY start to warm up to each other too (more like JZY doing the heavy lifting of pushing through JZX's awkwardness and peacock attitude), and JZX eventually realizes that his new didi is better company that his brute cousins —he even stands up to those when they bully JZY. Madam Jin is another whole story, but apart from being nasty to him, she at least can't lay a finger on the boy. JZY calls her mother through his teeth and would make absolutely sure to never be alone with her.

When he grows up, he goes to Gusu with JZX, and he's in charge of not letting JZX get in troubles with his poor interpersonal skills; however, thanks to JZY's influence at home, there's minimal problems with other boys. The Yunmeng bros still dislike JZX on principle, but they become friends with JZY super quick, with him being from Yunping and the only one capable of stomach their spicy ass food. NHS instantly adopts him as gege too bc JZY is legit interested in the arts as well and is willing to side with him and give in to his whining. While he does tag along and has fun with the other young masters, JZY also puts special attention to his education. LQR loves him, that's his best student in a very long time, and never has he been happier to write to JGS to sing JZY's praises.

Bc they have their birthday on the same day, ppl often ask if they are actual twins. JZY is, at first glance, the most qualified, why isn't he the heir. But that's something JZY never considered. He already has everything he wants, his brother was raised for it since he was born, and he has the charisma and character of a leader, he just needs to mature. It's his birthright as legitimate son, JZY would never take that from his Xuan-gege. JZY knows his father expects him to be the diplomatic arm of Lanling, to support his brother and work together for the glory of the Jin clan, and JZY is nothing but a filial son.

War happens, and both JZX and JZY are comanding the Jin forces. JZY stages an entire fall out with his family, makes gossip flow about a power struggle (why should JZX be heir?) So he can put on an entire lie for the Wen and allow him to infiltrate. He wins them the war.

3zun sworn brotherhood still happens bc his time as a brilliant student in Gusu made him befriend LXC back then. Out of sheer luck, JZY was visiting Yunping/SiSi around the time LXC was on the run, he still saved him. Through NHS and LXC he met NMJ, who was impressed by how a brat almost his brother's age was so capable and smart. During the war, the three of them were an amazing team of power and strategy.

Now. Bc JGS has good and safe plans for both his sons here, he doesn't use JZY for his schemes, he cannot risk the life or reputation of the son who actually has a head for politics. However, JZY is too smart to not know the kind of stuff his father is doing, and he can't ignore how it all will turn into bad news sooner rather than later. As Second Young Master Jin (with actual backing from his father), he outranks Jin Zixun, and sees that prisoners camp issue in private, listening to what the cultivation world has to say about it. He stops the abuse of the Jin soldiers and put the prisoners at the disposition of the sects. Yunmeng Jiang takes them in. Which score them points for the engagement, win-win. Also whatever issue the Nie have with it, that's between them now.

To placate his father's ambition tho, he puts extra effort into gaining the Jin sect a good reputation among sects big and small, being charming and an excellent man in negotiations (he may or may not have tweaked some things in the Jin's favor, but nothing's perfect lol)

JZX married, JZY still organized the wedding but with actual authority. He was one of the first to hold JL when he was born.

Bc he was fighting on the Jin front, he never met Qin Su outside of political gatherings. They never fell in love, and Qin Su never knew of who her real father was, but she didn't need to bc she already had a good father.

Eventually, JGS discovered another son of his. He brought him to Koi Tower right away and treated him just like he had treated JZY; MXY's young mother became a concubine since she came from a good family. The boy was renamed Jin Ziyu and he followed both his two gege like a duckling, playing with JL and letting Yanli-jiejie help him with make-up.

When the XY issue happened, JZY didn't know why his father kept the guy, and JGS didn't tell him either. Since the Burial Mounts siege never happened, there was... not much of a reason to keep him around despite his demonic cultivation; there wasn't WWX legacy for XY to work with bc WWX was still very much alive and spoiling JL rotten. So, for the sake of peace with the Nie, JGS let JZY convince him to depose of him, even letting NMJ do the honors (Sorry XY!! I just don't know how to make you fit here orz).

He still was in charge of retrieving his father from brothels and do damage control bc he's the most filial son. But other than dragging his old man's drunk ass back home at 2 am, calling for Xuan-gege and A-Yu for help bc JZY is still the shortest brother, he would live the happy and safe life of a Second Young Master, never again knowing of hunger and cold and humiliation bc his father had many, many flaws, but always did right by him, and A-Yao never doubted his love.

... someone plz write this now, I made myself sad.

[atinymommy]

𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒅𝒅𝒔 ༄ 𝒋𝒉𝒔

🍼 ⇢ ˗ˏˋ — JUNG HOSEOK; j-hope

☁️. . . ⇢ happy hobi day! i'm aware that this is a new years au but let's just not talk about it ok? difnfkskdkcj✧ ೃ༄

╰┈➤ cussing; MAJOR teasing;

nipple stim; hickeys; groping;

grinding; pegging;

fingering; slight exhibitionism;

degrading; aftercare;

petnames

(a/n: die is the plural of dice, just to avoid confusion lmao nobody dies in this story wodncnsjsj)

"i hope you're ready." you teased, smirking, as you shook the two cubes in your fist before rolling them over the table. both pairs of eyes hawked over each side the die rolled onto, until it came to a stop. it was hard to miss the smile that quivered at hoseok's lips.

both of you were intoxicated. the intention was only to celebrate being roommates for a year while it was moments before the clock struck into 2021. this had started two hours ago and ended up being a lot more than just two people rejoicing in abiding under the same roof.

hoseok had started talking about this game his friends had bought him for his birthday, with the biggest flush of red marking his cheeks and ears. you've always thought he was the cutest. he was the best roommate you could've ever asked for, and honestly a really good friend too.

which is how you both had ended up on the floor, snacking on some junk food and sipping on some alcoholic beverages. tonight you two had gotten as honest and open you probably ever will. hobi told you that he didn't date much because he didn't like the pressure of being the one to take charge. you nodded, agreeing with him about how frustrating the role men have to play in relationships are. two opposites ranting over the same topic.

"okay, got ahead." hoseok giggled as he removed his sock and wiggled his toes in your face. if you weren't under the influence, you would have found this less comedic and definitely wouldn't have popped one of his toes into your mouth for a mere millisecond. "that was by far the weirdest sensation i've ever felt." his face was red with laughter.

weakly you reached for the die and strewed them over the tabletop.

the laughter died out and the both of you just stared at each other - the die engendering a thick room as either of you processed the outcome. "w-we don't have to play anymore if you don't want to..." hobi's usually stentorian voice thinning at the end of his suggestion.

possibly it was his sudden shy behaviour around you or the lack of sincerity in his voice when he spoke those words but you drew closer to him, bringing your face directly in front of his. "why? are you scared, hobi?" you taunted, observing his eyes widen and the air caught in his throat. slowly you brought your lips to his ear, whispering, "unless you want to stop..."

hoseok closed his eyes and went for it. your taunting tone mocking him into acting on his true desires in that moment. he did as the die had dared him and he began nibbling on your neck, hearing you gasp lowly in his ear motivated him. when you ran your fingers through his hair was when he began to suck harshly, causing you to tug at his roots and moan as he brought blood up to the surface.

he pulled away, needing to refill his lungs and to evaluate the marks against your skin. you, yourself, wanted to see so you looked for your phone and opened your camera. smirking, you touched the area along your pulse. "not bad for someone who didn't want to play."

you put your phone away and hobi was already throwing the dice again.

the male gasped when he read them. lick + nipples.

"i-i don't kn-ow, y/n..." the male seemed unsure and fidgety, but the hard on in his pants betrayed him.

"i'll show you mine if you show me yours?" you suggested, to which he nodded in agreement to. both of you folded your fingers under the hems of your shirts, anticipating. "one.."

"two... three." you lifted your shirt over your head, throwing the clothing item aside, and looked over to hoseok. your eyes took him in for a moment. your heart was racing at the thought of him eating up every crevice and bump on your body but, thankfully, your mind was too fogged and occupied at the moment. instinctively you reached for him, feeling his heart beat under your hands as you roamed his chest slowly, and he just gazed up at you.

you took his face in your hands, locking eyes with him and seriously informed him, "if you want to stop, tell me." he only smiled at you and lightheartedly replied with, "don't ruin my fantasy now."

this ignited you. hobi openly admitting having sexual thoughts about you made you go feral.

hastily you pulled him down onto the floor until he was under you and you brought your lips down to his collarbone,  you littered kisses along it before making your way to his buds. your hand massaged his side as you flicked over his nipple. his made him gasp.

hoseok shut his eyes and allowed you to do as you wanted with him. he lay there, whimpering when your flattened your tongue against the sensitive nub. he bit his lip when you blew cold air over the now wet area before you teasingly kitten licked the other nipple. he moaned, throwing his head back and began squirming under you. you sat up, straddling him, with a smirk. "did you like it that much?"

"too bad it's over." he heaved, trying to catch his breath again.

smiling, you got off of hobi and found your way back to the die. you rolled them once again. you could sense the boy's relief with the probability that had played out as he went back to sitting on the couch.

massage + ass.

you crawled onto hoseok's lap, placing your knees on either side of him and he cupped your ass. he lightly rubbed over your jeans, feeling unsure of himself and slightly awkward.

"c-could you take your jeans off? you can s-say no." he looked away from you, glancing to the side at a low angle. his cheeks felt numb with all the blood rushing to them.

you stood, reaching for your button and removing the bottoms. he only stared at your feet, where you kicked away the clothing, and felt too shy to see you. just his imagination was enough to build this tent in his pants, he couldn't imagine how his body would react if he could eat up every inch of you.

unfortunately for him, you weren't having it. "look at me," you scowled, folding your arms and leaned onto your hip. hesitantly he obeyed and ran his eyes over your figure. hobi couldn't help himself when the whimper left his lips and his cock twitched. "shit..." he whispered lowly to himself in awe.

you inched onto his lap again, comfortably avoiding his boner, and his hands naturally traced up your thighs.

"this is by far the most uncomfortable thing i've done this year." he mentioned as he began to knead your ass. rolling your eyes, you leaned towards him and captured his lips with yours. while running your fingers over the nape of his neck, you pushed down onto his heat. hoseok moaned into you, squeezing you harder.

he felt a tingle in his body and your movements fogged his mind. his thoughts had left him. all the knew was you.

you waited until his eyes shut to pull away. smirking, you casually walked back to the table where the die lay. hobi groaned loudly, flexing his thighs in frustration, "you are the biggest fucking tease!"

chuckling, you threw the die. butterflies fluttered in your stomach when they land on suck + thigh.

"hmmm, i'm going to enjoy this." you taunted, watching him read over the two words etched into the plastic cubes. hoseok gulped, for the tenth time in the last half-hour.

his hands trembled as he took off the last item of his outfit — only leaving him in his underwear, just as you were. he only sat there, blushing aggressively, as you oogled over him. you appreciated his sculpted legs, softer tummy and broad shoulders. "so that's what you've been hiding under there this whole time, angel?" he was taken aback by the petname. it made him even more excited.

"p-please touch me, mommy." hobi pleaded, biting his lip to hold back tears. he was so overwhelmed. he just wanted to be yours in this very moment. all he could think was you.

slowly, you crawled over to him on the floor. "since you asked so nicely, i think i might." you could see the relief on hoseok's face.

you pushed his knees apart, getting a full view of the lewd sight before you. he mewled and tried to cover himself up but you swatted his hands away. "don't hide my property from me," you snapped. "this pathetic cock is mine. you are mine." the male felt weak; just from a few words he felt as though he could cum right then and there.

he moaned when you began placing hot kisses along his inner thigh, lightly brushing your nose against his heat before moving away again. hoseok's muscles contracted under your touch while you sucked on the inner most sensitive area and he let out a throaty moan as you massaged his bulge. "ah~ yesss- t-hank you-"

you removed his boxers. his cock straightened out and met his abdomen with a light slap. hobi pulsed between his legs, and you were about to lick his flared tip when he called out, "no! wait! ah~ i-i neeeeed you. let me f-eel you mommy! p-please! i've been a good boy!" he was whiny and desperate.

this was a sight you never thought you would have seen in a million years: your roommate spread out on the couch in front of you, naked, and begging you to fuck him. you weren't complaining either.

"stay here." you demanded while you made your way into your room and scratched for your strap in your drawer. the few minutes it took for you to put it on and return, the time felt twice as long for hoseok.

you spun the male around, pushing him forward and telling him to lean onto the back of the couch. obediently he got into position, rolling his hips back to show you his puckered hole. grabbing the lube, you lathered your strap and fingers in it before slowly sliding one finger into him. he sighed in bliss, wrapping himself around you as you reached your knuckle. "m-more!" he cried out to you.

adding another finger, you began to finger him. he moaned and hunched over the furniture. "yes~ ah- it feels so good mommy." he panted.

you scissored your fingers until you felt him stretched enough. he whimpered with how empty he felt without your fingers. it wasn't long until you eased your strap into his tight hole.

hoseok arched his back and curled his toes as he swallowed you up. you snapped your hips into him suddenly, resulting in the the loudest and most unholy sound to emit from hobi. his whole body fell forward as you pounded into him. he had to hold onto the couch as you railed him.

you felt sympathetic towards your neighbours since the walls weren't soundproof at all but that didn't bother hoseok. his moans filled the whole floor probably.

your nails dug into his hips as you pulled him back while your hips rocked forward. hobi felt so wonderfully out out control as he surrendered his body to you — to use, love and bruise.

out of the blue, his phone buzzed as namjoon's caller id popped up. smirking, you passed it to him without losing your pace and dared him, "you should answer it."

"y-you're lit-erally fucking railing m-me! no!"

"be a good boy and try not to let him know what a slut you are." you sneaked over his shoulder and tapped the answer button. alarmed, hoseok put the phone to his ear, trying to keep his breathing far from suspicion. he bit his lip in an attempt to hold back his moans.

"hello?"

"hey! look, the clock is about to turn into the new year and i just wanted to say i love you man..." hobi tried his best to focus but his body betrayed him as a knot began to form in his stomach. he wasn't listening to his friend anymore. he shut his eyes as his high approached, and moaned softly enough for it to not be picked up on the phone.

"i- i- fuck!" hobi tried to talk to him but his thighs were trembling as you continued to hammer his prostate. he unexpectedly moaned the loudest he had that evening, as his cock spewed all over the couch. "mommy!"

you leaned over and whispered into his ear. "you couldn't help but let everyone know who's fucking you this good, could you, kitten? couldn't even ask for permission?" he whined in reply, too weak to answer you.

"hello? j-hope are you okay? hey!" you snatched the phone from the lump of a man hobi had been turned into and pulled out of him gently as you walked away. "hey joon, hoseok isn't feeling too well. he had too much to drink. sorry about that."

"oh okay, i'll call again tomorrow. i mean later." you glanced at the clock and it was true. hoseok came into the new year.

(a/n: don't come for me😭😭😭😭 that was an impeccable joke right there🤡😎)

"alright then, happy new year joons." you greeted.

"happy new year, 'mommy'." he teased before hanging up.

immediately you rushed to hoseok who was still in the same position you left him and carried him into his room. "shhh you did so good. i'm so proud to have an angel like you. what did i do to deserve you, hm? i didn't mean it when i called you those names. you mean so much to me."

hobi smiled at you, half asleep, and whined for you to cuddle him. and you did just that.

[tsumuki]

haikyuu boys as different types of love languages

a/n basically the boys i think most embody the 5 basic love languages; super random but

physical touch as sugawara koushi

constantly touching you in some way whether it be patting your head, holding you hand, rubbing your back

greets you with a hug and kiss every morning and every night when he drops you off

also guides you by having his hand on the small of your back in the hallways, so it’s not as obvious as holding hands

but in private he’s all over you, laying on top of while you have your arms and legs wrapped around him, when you’re cooking he’s hugging you from behind, or when you’re working he’ll take your hand and use the excuse “i can type with one hand”

“koushi i cant breathe” you say as he lays on top of you, in attempt to cuddle you.

“it’s okay you can die like this” he says as he nuzzles further into your neck. you hit his back lightly, letting out an airy laugh. his warmth spreads through your body and you inhale his scent.

he gets up and looks at you as he flips you over, so now your laying on his chest and straddling his waist. “better now?” he says with a cheeky grin.

you feel your cheeks heat up as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face closer, teasing him as your lips brush against each other.

“so that’s how you wanna play?” he questions as he quirks his brow, he moves his hands lower to your waist pulling you even closer.

“two can play at this game babe.”

words of affirmation as oikawa tooru

oikawa is no stranger to self doubt and insecurities, but since he knows what it feels like, he never wants you to feel that way

tells you everyday that he loves you, even if you guys are fighting, he will make an effort to send at least a text, reminding you that he loves you

reminds you every morning how beautiful you look, definitely a great hype man.

knows that his fan girls can be a lot sometimes, so he puts in extra effort to reassure you he only has eyes for you

you felt pathetic, crying on your boyfriends bedroom floor pouring out your insecurities. his fan girls were so beautiful, thin, and what were you?

his heart aches as he wraps his arms around you, cooing in your ear. if he could take the pain away he would, but he can’t. so he speaks up instead,

“baby, you know what i love about you?” he waits for a reply, continuing when he’s met with silence,

“i love when your eyes light up when you talk, or how you look when the moon lights your face when we walk at night.”

he hears your cries start to soften, his heart warming as he continues.

“i also love how your cheeks lift when you smile, or how your hair flows when you let it down” he kisses your head,

“baby i could go on, but we’d never stop. i know how you’re feeling, but if you remember anything i tell you tonight, remember, you’re my world. if only you could see yourself from my eyes, you’d love yourself beyond compare. and i’ll always be here to remind you of what you’re worth”

he kisses the top of your head and lifts your head up so you meet eyes, “okay?”

“okay.”

quality time as kenma kozume

introverted bby so he prefers staying in with you, usually orders food and listens to you ramble about your day or whatever else is on your mind

isn’t the most talkative, but a great listener. when you’ve run out of things to talk about you two just enjoy each other’s presence while doing your own thing

always makes an effort to walk you home after school so you can spend more time together

will sometimes show up to your house unannounced and lays on your bed while you do homework or talk to your friends

you don’t have to be talking to each other, but he’s comforted knowing you’re around

“hey babe” you say as you enter his room, he greets you back as you make your way to his bed. he lifts up his arms allowing you to rest your head on his lap.

“how was your day” he says, eyes still glued to his monitor. you rub his thigh and start your ramble about today’s stories, but then you stop. worry creeping in about talking to much and potentially annoying him since he was gaming.

“why’d you stop, i’m still listening babe”

although it’s small, you can’t help but feel your heart swell knowing you’re not a bother to him, even with your constant rambling.

not long after you two fall into a comfortable silence and you get up and pull out your work from your bag and mindlessly start. you notice kenma starting to dose off, soon he’s the one who rests his head on your lap.

you sigh contently as you bring your hand to his hair and play with the ends, he hums when he feels your touch. you smile as you push your work the the side and you close your eyes as well, dosing off as well.

you can always finish your work later, you think to yourself as you slip into unconsciousness, your hand still playing with kenma’s hair.

acts of service as iwaizumi hajime

isn’t the best with words so decides to let his actions do the talking

does small things like walking you to class even if his class is the other way or walk you home even if he’s tired from practice

i also believe he’s a great cook, so he prepares lunches and snacks for you while he’s making his

also when your sick he’ll pick up your work from your classes, prepare some food for you, and will care for you while you’re sick

or when you’re stressed w school or work he’ll tidy up your room / house so you come home to a clean space so you’re able to relax. overall motherly af

everything was falling apart. no matter how much you tried to balance out your school, work, social life, and clubs it never worked out, something was always overlooked and missed.

you received many texts and reminders from iwaizumi to not over work yourself. although you knew you should’ve told him, you hid it from him, not wanting him to worry. he has been working so hard with his work, that you don’t want to add any stress. so you put on a smile.

you groan as you clock out of work, making your way back to you and iwaizumi’s apartment. once you get home you’re met with a delicious aroma. you’re confused, to your knowledge iwaizumi had been working late tonight.

you make your way into the apartment to be met with iwa’s back to you, as he cooks something on stove. you scan the apartment to see your books and papers organized and everything that littered the floors and tables, put away and tidied.

you exhale contently, your heart swelling at the sight as he turns around and pulls you into his arms rubbing your back. the simple act makes your eyes water.

“i know how stressed you’ve been. you don’t have to hide it” is all he says, and your few tears turn into sobs. he stays silent as he continues rubbing your back trying to sooth you, letting you know he’s here. once your tears dry he kisses your temple.

“i have a bath running for you babe, wash up and we’ll eat when you’re done” he says as he kisses you again, “and i’ll bring your clothes, they’re in the dryer”

you feel your eyes water again, not because of stress or sadness, but because you can’t contain how much you truly love him. you smile and nod, pulling him to hug him again.

“thank you so much.”

gift giving as akaashi keiji

mans is a sucker for cheesy romantic stuff

brings you a bouquet every time you guys have a date, isn’t necessarily the biggest bouquet but makes an effort to bring you one every time

goes ham when it’s your birthday, christmas, valentines, etc. holiday? you better prepare to be bombarded with gifts.

also loves taking you shopping. you always tell him he doesn’t have to buy you anything but insists. and when you see something you like but decide against getting it, he’ll buy it for you the next day

even small things like when he’s walking home and he sees a stuffed bear, he’ll buy it for you saying “it reminded him of you and he absolutely had to get it” or picking up your favorite snack and bringing it to you at much

you always tell him he doesn’t have to get you anything to be happy but he insists, that doesn’t mean you don’t shower him in gifts as well

you’re rushing through your apartment as you’re putting the final touches on your outfit for you and akaashi’s date. you jump when you hear the doorbell.

you swing the door open to be met with a face full of flowers. you blush at the sight, no matter how many times you’ve received flowers from him, you’re still flustered. you gesture him to come in, taking the flowers from his hands, thanking him.

“hey babe you look great” he says as he kisses you on the cheek. you smile back as you put the flowers into the vase with the preexisting flowers.

“you know i’m gonna drown in flowers one day if you keep getting me them babe” you say in a joking tone, he chuckles with you, “at least you’ll die a beautiful death” he retorts, laughing as you lightly hit his shoulder

he smiles as he takes both your hands, looking you up and down, “beautiful absolutely beautiful” he says, voice full of admiration. your heart swells at his simple words. “only for you” you say with a smile resting softly on your face.

“you know what would make it better though?” he asks, you shoot him a confused look and he reaches in his pocket pulling out a small velvet box.

your eyes widen and heart drops as he reveals a simple ring. he laughs at your obviously shocked expression, “hey it’s just a promise ring,” he starts, worry slightly seeping from his words, “don’t worry, this is just as a reminder, that i’ll love you forever” he finishes as he slips the ring onto your finger

you feel your eyes slightly water at his words, feeling overwhelmed with your emotions. cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a kiss.

“so promise you want drown in my flowers before i make it a real one” he says with a cheeky grin

“promise.”

[blush-and-books]

The End of Julie and the Phantoms - A [very long] Theory

The core of this theory was inspired by many posts that I have seen saying that Julie’s “everything was a dream” shirt may have insinuated that nothing happening on the show is actually reality. I brought my series finale pitch to my dear friend @willexx who then helped me develop this headcanon into something I cried about during lunch. 

It starts out pretty heavy, but there are some little light things here and there because it’s what the himbos would have wanted.

We start here:

In the last episode, the boys are ready too cross over. It’s an emotional moment for everyone, they’re crying, Julie is sobbing, and we as an audience have definitely seen better days. With one last “we love you, Julie,” a flash of light overtakes the garage space, blinding our screens. 

The scene flashes to Julie lying in bed, waking up from her ringing alarm. 

She is visibly confused, clearly wondering how she got to bed when the last thing that she remembers is the boys’ painful departure. When she reaches for her phone to turn off her alarm -- it’s a school day -- she quickly notices the date:

It’s the same day in 2020 that she met the boys, that she was going to clean out her mom’s garage, and that she had to perform to keep her spot in the music program. 

So, none of it was real?

Not exactly. 

The experience was a sort of dream-like saga that was designed for her to be able to grieve on her own, and rediscover her voice in her own way. But just as the panic sets in that it was a complete figment of her imagination, the feeling of cold metal on her left hand becomes too hard to ignore: One of Luke’s rings. 

Reggie’s leather jacket is hanging in her closet.

Alex’s fanny pack is slung across the back of a chair. 

But when she runs downstairs, clad in her dinosaur slippers, rushing to the garage to see if the guys were there -- they aren’t. They have crossed over. 

As she moves through the day, she’s a new Julie, but everything else is the same. Instead of a baseball cap and low ponytail, Julie throws on her black jeans and Reggie’s leather and lets her hair run wild. She’s displaying a confidence that Flynn hasn’t seen in a long time, that seemed to have hit Julie overnight. 

Julie sings Wake Up in music, and keeps her spot in the program. She doesn’t oogle Nick in the halls and she tells Carrie off when there’s an attempt at an insult made. 

Real or not, the boys helped her. They did their job. 

When she gets home, and Ray irks her about cleaning the garage or selling the house, she is quick to insist that she doesn’t want to move and that if he needs her for the rest of the night, she’ll be in her mother’s studio.

There aren’t any instruments except for the piano, and the space has the original layer of dust that it had before her and the guys started using the space again. Julie feels empty. But she reminds herself that the ring on her finger is real, extremely real, so she retraces her steps that she had taken in the first episode and tracks down the Sunset Curve demo CD, puts it in the stereo, and plays it. 

Nothing happens. Or, at least -- nothing that she could see.

The camera pans up as Julie is hard at work to organize the garage, and we see the boys in the chairs on the ceiling, watching over her fondly. 

~This is where @willexx started to throw in some epic ideas~

The boys are real, and they have crossed over, which renders Julie unable to see them. However, in her reset reality without them, no one remembers Julie and the Phantoms or the fact that the boys existed in the first place. The boys, while she can’t see them, visit her and try to make contact with her as much as they can, even though their times with her are limited since they are supposed to be on the other side.

She’ll feel a ghost of a touch on her hand or her hair, and know that Luke is there. When she’s in the car and the radio is on a country station, she knows that it’s Reggie. In a journal for school, a small “okay” will be written in the corner of a page, and it is Alex. These little notes keep her going, and she’ll just sigh and say “my boys,” and leave everyone around her confused. 

Sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, the demo tape can be heard playing in the garage. Somehow she’ll get filled with hope that if she runs into the garage, the boys will be there rocking out without her like she used to scold them for left and right -- but no one is there. Ray comments that the stereo is broken and Julie has no choice but to nod along. 

One day she finds Luke’s songbook that had been buried in the plastic garbage bags of the boys’ belongings. She still brings Unsaid Emily to his parents, and she cries herself to sleep that night. 

When Julie blows up as a solo artist, she actually records Unsaid Emily, and she records Bright, and all of the other songs that her and Luke wrote together. Luke Patterson is in the writing credits for many of the songs, where Trevor never bothered to list him, and a part of Luke is at piece. 

On the two year anniversary of Rose’s passing, Julie finds Luke’s “angst flannel.” Ray asks where she got it; she tells him a thrift store. But it feels warm, like all of the guys are there, hugging her. 

Another morning, she could swear that Luke and Reggie are strumming out Flying Solo on level one volume, and once again finds herself darting to the garage with no good excuse except to keep her hopes up. They, unsurprisingly, aren’t there -- but a note is, that says “you’re a star, Jules. We love you.”

The handwriting is messy. She knows it’s from Luke, who probably fought the boys to even write the note because he just wanted to talk to her even though they need to move on and his handwriting is awful. The note gets tucked into the pocket of the flannel, and when she needs to be reminded that she’ll be okay, she pulls it out of the pocket and holds it tight. 

Before every show, she reads the note, and mumbles a little prayer to them wherever they are -- even if no one else believes they are real. 

When Luke’s flannel starts to lose it’s original sweet scent of Emily and Mitch’s house, Julie spends an hour crying on the floor of her bathroom. A faded orange beanie appears in her room the next day. 

Little notes from Luke appear here and there, but never from any of the guys. In the shadows where she can’t see them, Alex tells Luke that in order for both themselves and Julie to move on, Luke needs to stop leaving her notes -- so most of the ones that Julie finds are even more messy than usual, like Luke was trying to write them without the guys noticing. 

During one of their forbidden conversations, Julie says to Luke: “hey, I never told you this before... But I’m so glad you’re here. I don’t know what I would do without knowing that you guys were still around. I think I would have lost my mind, and would have been convinced that I went crazy.”

Luke could have ran to Alex, repeated Julie’s tearful words, and given the drummer a fat “I told you so.” But he doesn’t. Julie’s validation is the only validation that he needs. 

Whenever her and Carlos and Ray make an extra seat at their dinner table for Rose, Julie imagines, deep in her mind, that it is for Reggie too. Reggie deserved a seat at their table; deserved to be a part of their family. A family that would have loved him.  And when a fork falls off of the table, Julie knows he’s there. One day, Julie asks Ray how he would have felt about having another son. He responds confused, and Julie gets tears in her eyes, and neither of them bring it up again.

When Julie and Flynn go to Pride together, Julie wears Alex’s fanny pack even though she hadn’t gotten any signs from him since they had all moved on. He still doesn’t reach out afterwards, too overwhelmed by her gesture to think of a way to properly extend his gratitude and love for the girl who is keeping his spirit alive -- but Luke lets her know that he was grateful. 

Luke still visits Julie like he visits Emily and Mitch. And on Luke’s birthday every year, Julie goes to a little bakery after school and buys herself a cupcake; sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to light a candle and sing happy birthday. When she lights the candle, the candle gets blown out. Every year after that first year, she gets candles that you have to turn on and off so that Luke can’t ruin the moment. 

(He ends up throwing the fake candle on the ground out of retaliation.)

Julie is so emotionally stable for the most part that the complete change is a shock to Ray. He tries to ask her what happened, but she always acts like nothing happened and then hides in her room for hours. Sometimes, she makes random little comments out of the blew and Ray has many conversations with Victoria on whether or not he should have Julie seeing Dr. Turner again. 

At her first solo concert, Julie walks into the dressing room to find “Stand Tall” written three times, in three different handwriting styles, in red, pink, and blue. The message in blue is the messiest by far, and is followed up with a heart. 

The name of Julie’s first album is Phantoms. 

[queenmolina]

bobby was in the system 

i’m going into detail about how i imagine it just because that’s what anon asked me to do - if you think this might be upsetting then i advise you to stop reading here <3

i’m going to preempt this with some disclaimers

- i’m british so my pov of the system will be wrong, i’m not even going to try and translate it

- i’m not picking out sad/tragic things to be deliberately upsetting for the sake of an angsty backstory, this is just genuinely how i choose to imagine it happening 

- this is a compilation of my friend and i semi-projecting onto our shared comfort character. im more than happy to share this because i really like this take for bobby, but please be sensitive in any comments you might make in (more for other people’s sake - im comfortable to discuss any of the content)

bobby doesn’t remember his parents. he lived with them for a time and from what people have told him, they were a really happy family. his mom was a therapist and his dad was an author. there are photos of the two of them smiling happily at the camera - some even had a small, baby-faced bobby bouncing on their knee, though they called him robin. it’s on all of his certificates, all of the documents. his name is robin. it doesn’t feel right

when he’s three, bobby’s parents pass. he thinks it must have been some kind of accident - to take them both in one go - but he doesn’t get offered any explanation. he’s almost immediately fostered into a family but there’s so many kids there that it’s basically a foster home. he’s one of the youngest and is immediately babied by all of the older kids which is where he starts to be selective about physical affection/contact with other people

he stays there until he’s six. all of the kids there get moved about when their ‘parents’ (it’s what the kids were told to call them but it never really applied) decided they actually weren’t cut out to look after a dozen children and threw in the towel

six year olds are a bit middle of the range in terms of how quickly people foster/adopt them but bobby’s gained a bit of a reputation for being ‘tricky to manage’ because he’s so fussy - he’s not fussy, he just wants people to stop mollycoddling him and give him some peace and quiet. he stays in a foster home for a year until eventually a couple take him in. but it doesn’t last long - they say bobby acts out and all of a sudden he’s back on the front step with his shopping bag of possessions and they’re passing ‘robin’ back as though he’s a library book and not a child

from the ages of eight to twelve, he gets passed back and forth from one place to the next. some are better than others, obviously. there’s the malone’s where the only other kid is their 17 year old biological daughter who thankfully doesnt much care for ambushing bobby like some of the others had. there’s the harper’s where bobby’s surprised they even passed the social worker visit because the house is a tip - but the carers are nice and he has his own room. there’s the vegaro’s who he even allows himself to hug when he had to leave. the rest of them aren’t even worth remembering. they never lasts, even the nice ones always go wrong. he’s back in the foster home every time he begins to get settled

when he’s twelve, the rate at which he gets fostered slows again. he sidles along with the older kids who seem to have given up hope and spend their days causing trouble or sneaking out of the home just because they can. bobby doesn’t go with them for a few months - until he realises that it’s fine. no one will care if he disappears for a few hours. will they even care if he doesn’t come back at all?

on his thirteenth birthday, one of the carers helps him gather his stuff from his bunk and shove it all into a bag. he’s fed up of trying to find a real home so when a woman shows up to take him, he doesn’t even try for a smile

it’s his aunt. his biological family. she has the same soft features as his mother in the photos and the same dark, pin-straight hair. somehow it manages to hurt more when she wrinkles her nose at his attempts of a conversation

her husband is nice. jerry, his name is. a portly man with a receding hairline and a frequent habit for offering bobby a sip of his beer. he’s not related to bobby by blood but it’s nice to feel like someone’s on his side

his aunt hates him. she doesn’t say it out loud - not when bobby’s in the room - but he sees how she looks at him. he hears her arguing with jerry about him sometimes and saying nasty things about his mother too. she and jerry seem to fall out a lot

she leaves one day. and doesn’t come back.

for once, bobby doesn’t get sent back to the foster home. if anything, he feels more welcomed once his aunt had gone. he and jerry feel like family - a little strained but bobby thinks that must be how all families feel. they watch tv together and even share hobbies. jerry even bought him a guitar, something brand new and for bobby and not second hand. bobby was worried he would have to give it back when the time came for him to return to the home but that wasn’t something to worry about right now. he meets jerry’s friends and family and for once, bobby feel like he has a family of his own

this is also the longest he’s ever stayed at one school. he thinks he might be making friends (he can call them friends this time, they’re not allies. they’re friends)

when he’s fifteen, jerry passes. he hadn’t been very well, it had been getting worse. bobby had seen that it was coming and had half-packed a bag before it had even happened

his new friends from school come to the funeral and sit with him on the front row of pews. alex - who was a foot taller than the rest of them - cowers a little from all of the attention. luke pulls at his sleeves and collar, clearly uncomfortable in the fancy get up, but he offers a sad smile whenever bobby catches his eye. reggie isn’t sure what to make of the whole thing but he can see that bobby’s upset and their shoulders knock together whenever reggie wants to remind him he’s not alone. at one point, bobby even takes reggies hand in his. he would be embarrassed or uncomfortable at the contact except he’s lost his family and he’s probably going to lose his friends too

instead of going back to the group home, he’s asked to move in with jerry’s mother, althea

she has a pretty big house and a garage which she converts into a space for bobby to hang out. he’s still unused to having his own room so to have two feels a little overwhelming. he invites his friends over to fill the space and when luke asks to start a band, bobby allows him to convert the garage into a makeshift studio. althea doesn’t mind, in fact she encourages it.

bobby isn’t the best at putting his thoughts into words but he can put them into action so when the boys start having trouble at home, he makes one thing very clear: the studio is their home. the studio belongs to all of them and if they ever need a place to stay, they should stay here. this is their home, where they’re loved and looked after. bobby tells them this in fewer words but he hopes they understand

(he’s not sure why the boys are so upset about their home lives - bobby would do anything to be with his parents. that is until he sees alex stifling hot tears or luke choking up over his test results or reggie knocking on his bedroom window at two am, desperate to escape the noise. then he gets it)

luke moves in and bobby starts carting his dinners to the studio to eat. althea pretends not to notice that there’s another boys clothes in her laundry loads and just starts doubling bobby’s food portion to make sure they both get enough

then it goes wrong. and bobby loses another family.

althea teaches him things to keep him distracted. she shows him how to knit, teaches him more tagalog, more recipes. it does nothing to make him feel better but he could never tell her that. he’s grateful for every moment she spends with him. she didn’t owe him anything and yet she took him in. the least he could do is try to smile and forget about his boys for a moment. for her. 

she’s the one that encourages him to keep creating music, to make them a legacy they can be remembered by. it doesn’t work out that way in the end and she’s the only person that understands how the guilt weighs him down quite so much

years later, when he’s told that he’s going to be a father, his first thought is to run. he can barely cope with being responsible for himself, let alone another person. but it wasn’t his choice, she was going to have the baby. he was going to be a father

carrie is three when her mother leaves. it feels like another cruel twist of fate, like a knife in his gut. he always wondered when it would be his turn to go. he’s 29 and maybe he should’ve gone 26 years ago with his parents, or 14 years ago with jerry, or 12 years ago with his boys. but he would not let carrie have his struggles. so he cries to althea alone and puts on a brave face for his daughter

[samirant]

Getting this juuuuust under the wire. HAPPY BIRTHDAY @naomignome!!!

Day 621

At the newest round of giggles down the hall, Brienne took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was the Thorn President-Elect, not their den mother. Their quiet study area on the second floor of the house, once filled end to end with studious sisters, had dwindled down to only her and a few others. Truth be told, Brienne was done with her exams, but was sticking around until their last member was finished, just in case of last minute nerves.

Most everyone else was packing up and blowing off steam. And giggling. A lot.

“Brienne,” someone hissed from down the hall. “Come look!”

She reluctantly got up, cast a glance around the room and decided that if they needed her, she wouldn’t be far. And if she was able to clear out the noisemakers? Bonus.

Elinor grabbed her hand once she came into view and pulled her to the front window. “Some Sigma got strapped in!” she gleefully reported.

“Really?” Brienne drew up to the glass and craned to see down the block, where a herd of guys in red shirts was lugging an item - well, a person - between them. She’d seen it a few times over the last couple of years, but while it was a… celebration of sorts, it wasn’t a dignified one.

Jaime and his cohorts had insisted it was a cherished tradition, but Brienne always thought it was a little mean to duct tape a newly engaged man to a slab of lumber and then cart him around campus before delivering him to his intended.

Okay, so it was a little funny.

Still mean, though.

Curious, Brienne squinted at the crowd of men and asked, “Who is it?”

“Can’t tell yet,” Meera replied. “Did you hear of anyone planning to pop the question?”

There was a chorus of no idea and I don’t think so’s and Myranda sniggered something about someone managing to get their MRS degree right under the wire. It was perhaps unkind to agree with her, but Brienne had seen a rash of quick engagements from other houses at the end of each semester and couldn’t necessarily say Myanda was wrong and then suddenly someone gave a muffled scream and another girl loudly shrieked and then, as one, every single sister on the landing turned in one direction.

Hers.

Brienne took a small step back, from them and from the procession that had made it to the Theta front lawn and stopped there. Her voice quavered to match how her knees had gone watery. “What?”

Wide eyes met hers for a solid two seconds, all of them frozen in place, and then Elinor trilled, “You and Jaime are ENGAGED?”

It broke the standstill and they descended on her from every angle, with demands for an explanation, calls of congratulations, some happy cries of I KNEW IT and more hugs than she’d received in the last six months combined, not counting from Jaime.

Jaime.

What.

The.

Fu-

“Jaime,” Brienne nearly shouted, and broke away from her ecstatic sisters and their pleas to see the ring. What ring?! she wanted to shout, but “I need to go check on Jaime” came out instead.

They stampeded down the stairs after her, but she legged it with a determination that had her first out the door, where she nearly slammed into Addam where he was about to knock and Brienne demanded, “What did you do?”

“Well, may I be the first to offer my congra-” Addam fell sideways into some shrubbery when Brienne elbowed him out of the way. Served him right.

“HEY!” came the loud cheer from her brother frat, with fists pumping in the air and a fair few jumping up and down, all of them surrounding Jaime, who hovered roughly a foot above everyone else due to the position they’d put him in. Duct taped him in. Same difference.

Jaime caught sight of her and wiggled in what would have been a frantic motion if he hadn’t been duct taped so securely. She couldn’t guess how many rolls they’d used, except that it was nearly from neck to toes, with tiny strips of his clothes peeking through where the tape didn’t completely overlap. His eyes were big and pleading and he would definitely have been giving her some sort of explanation if one large piece of silvery tape wasn’t keeping his mouth steadfastly shut.

Pod, not reading Brienne’s horror at all, dropped to one knee and held out a pair of scissors to her as the other boys yelled out Sigma! Theta! Sigma! Theta!, the cries taking on a higher pitch as the Thetas joined in and Brienne had to take yet another deep breath to skirt around all of them to get to Jaime and to slooooowly peel away the tape from his face.

“Jaime,” Brienne said as she did it, with a calm that unnerved even her. “What is this about?”

“Hell if I know, they jumped me out of nowhere,” Jaime rasped out and glared at everyone else. Raising his voice to be heard over the clamor, he asked, “Does anyone else want to explain?”

“You can’t be that pissed,” Addam said as he approached, brushing away leaves and twigs from his clothes. “You were the first one to break out the tape when it was Bronn’s turn.”

“That’s because he was actually engaged,” Jaime said in vicious, seething tones, enough to make everyone around him finally go silent.

Addam faltered and then waved his finger between the two of them. “You mean, you two aren’t…”

“No!” Jaime and Brienne retorted in exasperated tandem.

Whirling on Lancel, Addam said, “You told me they were!”

“You took his word for it?” If outright indignation were enough to break Jaime’s bindings, Lancel would have been in real trouble, but Jaime could only wiggle in place some more. “Lancel?”

“But you said so!” His cousin looked startled and skittered backwards when Brienne took a step towards him. “He did! Yesterday!”

“Well, that’s news to me!” Jaime thrashed around with little effect and Brienne returned to his side, carefully taking the scissors from Pod’s slack grip as she did.

“And me,” Brienne said as she started carefully snipping away. She had to set a hand on Jaime’s chest to make him stay still, continuing on when he did. It took more effort to ignore the assembly of friends encircling them, listening with rapt attention.

“Start running, Lancel,” Jaime ordered but Brienne fixed a glare on the Lannister cousin, freezing him in place.

“He did, though,” Lancel whined plaintively, apparently deciding Brienne was his last chance for refuge from Jaime’s anger. “Last night, we were all shooting the shit and I told him what my dad said and Jaime said it was true.”

“I said what?”

Brienne patted his chest and took another long breath. “Lancel?” she said as evenly as possible. “Explain.”

“Our dads were talking about all of us,” Lancel nervously began. “Uncle Tywin was telling my dad how much he likes you for Jaime, how you suit each other” - Jaime’s chest went still under her hand and then he moaned an almost indecipherable oh good gods - “and I told Jaime about that and he said-”

“I know what I said!” Jaime tried to interject, to no avail.

“-he said, ‘yeah, I’m going to marry that girl’,” Lancel finished triumphantly.

“Oh,” Brienne said. It came out far more softly than the blaring cacophony in her head. It came out again, without her say so. “Oh.”

Then she turned and focused on freeing Jaime, not looking him in the eye as he called Lancel an idiot with renewed passion.

“So you… didn’t propose?” Lancel backed away slowly.

“I think you just did it for me, thanks,” Jaime said sarcastically. He sounded like his first point of order would be to wrap his hands around his cousin’s neck but when Brienne finally let his hands loose, they fell to his sides and she could feel his eyes on her. “Brienne?”

“It was a misunderstanding, it’s fine,” she said quietly and started sawing away at another chunk of tape. Jaime reached out, his hands going over hers and he asked, somewhere past her, “Can we get some privacy, maybe?”

There were several awkward moments as most everyone found something better to do - and likely far away from Jaime’s retribution - but when it was discovered that the post Jaime was attached to still needed support to stay upright, Addam braved coming close and said, “I’ll hold it up, but I’m not even here, I swear.”

“Uh-huh,” Jaime muttered as Addam held his hands against the back of the post and then turned his head to stare in the opposite direction. When most everyone else scattered, Jaime looked back at her and said, “Sorry about all this.”

“Don’t apologize.” Brienne gave undue attention to where his shoulder was still strapped down. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jaime sighed. “Then why does it feel like I did?”

“Because it’s your family members that tend to do some real questionable shit?” Addam suggested.

“I’m sorry, I thought you weren’t here,” Jaime snarled over his shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry. Not here starting… now.”

Brienne laughed under her breath and put her forehead against the shoulder she freed and Jaime tilted his head down to rest on hers.

“This isn’t how I thought I’d ask,” Jaime murmured against her hair and Brienne was too overwhelmed to feel surprised anymore. She’d be a liar if she claimed she never thought of their future; surely Jaime had, too. “Thought it’d be a while from now. Less public, less telephone style through my dad and cousin and maybe less duct tape, too.”

“Well, good news,” Brienne said against his shirt, “you haven’t asked.”

“That’s true. I haven’t asked,” Jaime said and she felt him nudge his nose against her head and Brienne smiled as she tilted her face up. He kissed her, sweetly and with promise. “And you haven’t said no.”

“No,” Brienne replied. “It seems I haven’t.”

[sequinsmile-x]

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - Chapter 9

Rating: Mature (smut in this chapter)  Words: 7,261

Read it on a03, or below the cut

Let me know what you think :) 

October 2003

“I am going to kill her.”

Aaron turns from where he is preparing drinks for some of their guests to see his wife standing behind him, fury on her face and their 1 year old settled on her hip. He immediately knows who she is talking about.

He sighs as he abandons his task. “Em, sweetheart, love of my life.” He tugs her towards him and settles his arms around her and their son. “It is your birthday, and this little one's first birthday.” He says, tickling Theo’s side to get a laugh out of him. “Your mother has been here for all of 20 minutes, what has she said to have you considering murder already?”

She huffs out a breath. “She said I coddle him too much.”

Aaron’s eyebrows raise at that, not expecting Elizabeth to have commented on Emily’s parenting. It was something the older woman usually stayed away from, a silent acceptance that her daughter was a better mother than she ever had been.

“All that happened is he wanted to be picked up, so I did. And then she said that.” She carries on, clearly more upset than annoyed by her mother’s comment. “In front of everyone I might add.”

“Em.” He tucks some hair behind her ear, getting her attention to be focused back on him. “You are an excellent mother, please don’t pay any attention to her.”

She lowers her gaze from his and clears her throat. “I know I’m probably a bit over the top.” She says, as if he hasn’t spoken at all. “But we waited so long for him, and went through so much.”

“Emily.” He tilts her chin towards him, makes her look at him. “You are an excellent mother.” He repeats. “To both Theo and Jack. Don’t let her get to you okay?”

She nods and clears her throat. “Okay.” She looks back out of the kitchen over her shoulder. “I don’t want to go back out there.”

“You and Theo are the main event, you have to go back out there.” He reasons with her pressing a kiss to her lips. “Go see the team, I’ll put Jack on Elizabeth duty.”

She smiles at him and kisses him quickly before leaving the room, talking to Theo as she rejoins their friends and family.

Jack runs past the kitchen, so Aaron shouts for his attention. Jack walks up to him, a questioning look on his face.

“I need you to distract Elizabeth, okay?”

Jack sighs. “Why? What did I do wrong?”

“Jack, that's rude.” Aaron chastises whilst smothering a laugh. “Please.”

“Was she being mean to Emily again?” Jack asks, concern spreading over his face, his eyebrows tightening in a way that was so Haley it made Aaron’s gut twist.

“I think Emily is just a bit overwhelmed, and you know how they get to each other.” He says politically.

Jack seems to think about it for a second, before nodding. “It’s going to cost you two boxes of Lucky Charms.”

Jack leaves the room, leaving a very confused Aaron behind.

“I think I just got bribed by my 10 year old.”

__________________

November 2003

They are eating dinner all together when it happens. Aaron has Theo on his lap, giving Emily a break so she can eat a meal that wasn’t cold for once. Emily is telling him a story about Derek and Spencer’s antics in the office, a child friendly version since Jack is sat right opposite Aaron, when Theo wriggles out of his fathers lap.

“Ok, buddy. Down you go.” Aaron says, briefly putting his fork down as he settles the one year old on the floor, assuming he was after the toys that were scattered around the dining room.

Instead, Theo walks over to Emily, like he had done it a thousand times, and places his hands on her thighs, clearly wanting his mother’s attention.

The rest of the Hotchner’s speak almost in unison.

“Oh my god, did he just walk?” Emily asks, dropping her own cutlery down, abandoning her meal immediately.

“Shit, he did.” Aaron replies standing himself.

“I’ll go get the video camera.” Jack says, running off in search of it.

Theo looked incredibly confused over why everyone was suddenly looking at him so intently, and when Emily stands herself, he falls down, landing on his bottom, and he cries.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Emily croons as she picks him up, pressing a series of kisses to his face to cheer him up, knowing he really wasn’t hurt. She looks over at her husband. “Aaron, he walked.”

“Got the camera.” Jack says as he runs back into the room, camera on and recording and Emily smiles at him.

“Thanks, Jack.” She hands Theo over to Aaron. “Aaron, you take him, let's see if he does it again.”

Aaron nods, taking Theo and taking a few paces back from Emily, setting Theo on the ground. He stands there for a moment, looking confused.

“Go to Mama, buddy.” Aaron encourages, pointing at Emily who was crouched on the ground, arms out.

That, as Aaron expected it would, has Theo smiling and walking slowly over to Emily. He almost trips over a couple of times, unsteady on his feet, but he makes it, falling forward into his mothers arms.

Emily scoops him up and kisses him repeatedly, tears falling down her face as she does so. “Oh my sweet, clever boy.”

Theo tilts his head at her and places a hand on her cheek. “Mama sad?”

She shakes her head at him and presses a kiss to his face before looking over at Aaron and Jack, both beaming at her. “No, Theo. Not sad at all.”

__________________

February 2009

Emily really tries to not roll her eyes as Aaron insists on putting the car seat with Amelia down on the porch rather than let her hold it for the 10 seconds it will take him to open the door.

“Doctor's orders, sweetheart. No heavy lifting.” He says to her as the door opens and he picks the carrier back up.

She does roll her eyes that time as she walks past him. “Aaron, she’s not even 6lbs. I don’t think that counts as heavy lifting.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow at her when she winces as she sits on the couch, her c-section scar pulling. If she had the strength she would have got up and hit him, and throwing something at him was out of the question because he was holding Amelia. So she settled on just glaring at him.

“Jessica will be here soon with the boys.” He says as he lifts Amelia out of her carrier and brings her over to Emily without her having to ask. “They are both so excited to see her.”

“I know, Theo wouldn’t stop talking about her when I was home a couple of nights ago.” She takes Amelia into her arms, still blown away by how tiny she was. “I’m so glad you’re home, baby. No more nasty hospital.”

Emily thinks it must have been the longest week of her life, watching her tiny little girl in the NICU, her breathing suddenly becoming a problem on her first night in the nursery. Emily knows she’ll always remember the moment when the doctor came into her hospital room, where she was still recovering from surgery herself, and explained that Amelia needed a little extra care.

A combination of the pain, the hormones and the fear that there was something seriously wrong with her baby had left Emily inconsolable. Aaron sat next to her, his arm wrapped around her, as he asked the doctors the practical questions. Strong and dependable, and right by her side as he always was.

After too many nights sleeping on an uncomfortable bed in Amelia’s hospital room, Aaron having only convinced her to go home once, she was grateful to have her daughter home.

“She looks just like you.” Aaron says, stroking a finger over the baby’s head.

“You said the same about Theo.” She teases, looking up at him, a happy but sleepy smile on her face.

“You have seen our son right? He’s your double as well as your shadow.”

Amelia sneezes, drawing attention from her parents back to her. “I always forget how fucking cute it is when they do that.”

“Now she’s no longer living inside of you, you should probably work on cursing in front of her.”

“We managed to make Theo’s first word ‘mama’ despite my love of the word fuck.” She says, smirking at him when she curses again. “I think we can do it a second time.”

“Oh no, her first word is definitely going to be ‘Dada.’” __________________

May 2009 They get Theo to bed with a story from Emily, his concern about her going back to work manifesting in him all but refusing to go to sleep. The knowledge that when he woke in the morning his mother wouldn’t be there making him more difficult than usual.

She closes his bedroom door softly behind her, making sure he doesn’t wake back up as she sneaks out. Emily yawns as she walks to their bedroom, exhaustion seeping into her very bones. Amelia did not enjoy sleep, or at least seemed to consider it some kind of challenge to stay awake as long as humanly possible.

She enters her bedroom and sighs when she sees Aaron pacing the room, Amelia still very much awake against his chest. He turns to look at her, a tired smile on his face. “I think it’s fair to say she’s officially the most stubborn Hotchner.”

Emily laughs as she walks over, another yawn escaping her as she wraps her arms around her husband, resting her head on his chest next to where Amelia was. “If I feed her she’ll fall asleep.”

He hums and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Sounds good.”

He passes the baby over, to Emily who whispers to her daughter as she takes her into her arms. She settles on her side of the bed and sits up against the headboard, readjusting her shirt to feed Amelia. She leans her head back and closes her eyes.

Aaron joins her in bed, sits up next to her as she nurses their daughter. “You ok sweetheart?”

She nods and lifts her head to look at him. “Just thinking about tomorrow.” She looks back down to the baby in her arms, who was already drifting off to sleep. “I hope it’s an easy day. No big cases. Just lots of paperwork and an evening back here.”

He leans in and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “You do remember it's the BAU right?”

“Shut up, Aaron. Let me hope just for a second, ok?”

He suppresses a laugh and watches as Amelia finally succumbs to sleep. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” __________________

“Emily.” Jack’s voice is gentle but it's enough to wake her up. She blearily opens her eyes and sees her step-son standing next to her side of the bed. She shifts slightly, feels Aaron’s grip on her waist tightening, a gentle pull of her body back towards him that was strong enough to move her despite the fact he was sleeping.

It was the only time he was really touching her, his instinct in his sleep was still to seek her out, to pull her into his embrace. When he was awake it was a different story. He’d avoid her affection. Something he had never done, shying away from gentle touches to his skin, or kisses she tried to press to his forehead or cheeks. The joy of being reunited, of all of them making it, had faded into the awkwardness of learning how to be around each other again, and it hurt her more than she would care to admit.

“Jack.” Her voice cracks, sleepiness still present at the edges of her consciousness. “Is everything ok?”

“Theo is having a nightmare, I can’t wake him up.”

Emily gets out of bed quickly, carefully removing herself from her husband's grasp in an attempt to not wake him up. She follows Jack to the room he and Theo were sharing and her heart clenches in her chest when she can hear him whimpering in his sleep. She sits on his bed next to him and strokes her hand over his head, running her fingers through his hair. The sight of the cut on his forehead still made her breath catch.

“Come on sweetheart, you need to wake up.” She strokes his cheek with one hand, and rubs his back with the other, gently bringing him back to consciousness. He wakes up, eyes shooting open as he looks at her. “There you are, sweet boy. You’re ok.”

“Mommy?” He sits up and throws himself at her, seeking solace in her arms. Emily wraps her arms tightly around him, feeling him press his face into her neck, his tears wetting her skin.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” She presses a kiss to the side of his head. “Mommy’s here.”

“George said you were dead.”

Emily tightens her grip on her son, her hatred for Foyet burning through her veins. “He lied, honey. I’m right here.” She soothes him enough for him to pull back and look at her and she smiles at him, she runs her thumbs over his cheeks to wipe away his tears. “Do you want to come in and sleep with me and Daddy?”

He nods enthusiastically, tightening his grip on her again. She stands, lifting him onto her hip. He was really too big to be carried like this now, making her glad it was only a short walk back to the room her and Aaron were sharing. Theo rests his head against her shoulder and she presses a kiss to his head, and speaks words of comfort against his skin.

Emily turns to Jack who was still standing by the doorway. “Will you be ok?”

He nods. “Yeah I’ll be fine.”

She smiles at him and walks past him, grasping his arm briefly as she does so. “Thank you.”

Emily reenters the main bedroom, frowning when she hears crying as she walks in. She finds Aaron standing, Amelia crying in his arms. As soon as the little girl spots her mother she starts to squirm and reaches for her, more tears appearing on her face.

Emily sighs as she places Theo on the bed, placing the already sleeping boy under the covers on her side of the bed. Once he’s settled she looks up at Aaron, and sighs when she sees Amelia is still reaching out for her.

“I only fed her just before we went to bed, so she should be ok until morning.” She walks over to where he is standing, a still struggling Amelia in her arms. “She doesn’t do well in new places, or with new people.” She curses herself as soon as she says it, her exhaustion making her brain short wire. Things she wouldn’t usually say slipping past her carefully constructed walls. The way he looks at her cracks her heart. “Aaron, I didn’t mean it like th-”

“It’s fine, Emily.” He says, passing the screaming Amelia into her arms.

Once she has Amelia in her arms she presses a kiss into the baby’s head, shushing her as she tries to calm her down. She doesn’t miss the pain on Aaron’s face when she looks back up at him, the way he frowns at her when she can almost instantly soothe their daughter when he hadn’t been able to.

It breaks her heart too, memories of the relationship Aaron and Amelia had before all of this, before Foyet, floating around in her head. Images of how he had been the only one who could get her to laugh when she first started doing it, dragging the sweet sound out of her as often as he could. She remembered walking into their living room to find Amelia doing tummy time and Aaron laying on the floor right in front of her, whispering nonsense to their daughter.

In the two days since they had been reunited they hadn’t addressed it, hadn’t acknowledged that Amelia didn’t recognise him, how hurt he was by it, and that he would have to start that relationship from scratch.

“It will get better, Aaron.” Emily says, gently rocking the baby and rubbing her back as she tries to soothe her back to sleep. “It will just take a bit of time.”

“Yeah.” He says simply, looking away. “I’m going to go make a drink.” He points towards the main suite. “Do you need anything?”

She shakes her head, resists telling him that it’s 3am and they should just go back to bed now that the kids are settled again. “I’m ok, thanks.” She leans forward, closes the gap between them and presses a kiss to his cheek and ignores how he flinches away before he leaves the room.

Emily settles Amelia back into her crib before she climbs into bed next to Theo. The little boy immediately seeks her out in his sleep, his hands digging into her pyjama shirt as he moulded himself against her. She wraps her arms around him and closes her eyes, hoping sleep would find her easily.

When she wakes in the morning, Theo is still pressed close to her, and it’s clear Aaron’s side of the bed has not been slept in. __________________

Her parents show up at the hotel that evening, and Emily doesn’t think she’s ever been hugged so fiercely by either of them. The 6 months it has been since she last saw them is not the longest she has ever gone without seeing them by far, but it was different. She’d felt it too.

Theo and Jack are next, pulled into equally adoring embraces by their grandparents. Elizabeth and John both barely cover their upset when Amelia shys away from them, her face buried into Emily’s neck.

Emily is grateful that for once, her mother pays attention to the look she gives her, the silent request to leave it alone.

They spend a few hours together. It’s awkward, and if her parents notice the way Aaron is acting, how he keeps distancing himself from her, they don’t address it. When Theo gets too tired to keep his eyes open, falling asleep against John’s side, Emily gets him up and leads him to bed.

“Mommy, can I sleep with you and Daddy again?” He asks gently, almost embarrassed by the request.

She bends down to his level and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Of course, sweetheart. But it’s going to be a little bit before we go to bed, ok?”

“Emily.” Aaron’s voice makes her whip round to look at him, the annoyance on his face confusing her. “Can I have a quick word with you?”

“Yeah, ok.” She turns back to Theo and smiles at him. “Why don’t you stay out here with Grandma and Grandpa for a bit, I’ve got to go speak to Daddy.”

They walk into their bedroom, and she sneaks a glance at a sleeping Amelia in her crib as he closes the door. When she turns to look at him he looks angry.

“Aaron? What’s wrong?”

“He can’t just sleep in here every night. You have got to stop coddling him, Emily.”

Her eyebrows raise at that, defiance washing over her face. “Coddling him? This would be the second night.” She crosses her arms and tries to keep her cool. “He’s my son. He is upset and confused by everything that’s happened. You didn’t see how upset he was when he woke up last night. So if he wants to sleep in our bed until he’s feeling more settled then that’s what I’m going to let him do.” She runs a hand through her hair. “We don’t even have Archie to defuse it, I left him behind in all the panic.”

He wants a fight, she can tell. The tension radiating off of him in waves. “It’s not just Theo. It’s all three of them. They are too attached to you.”

She tilts her head at him and furrows her brows. “Of course they are attached to me, I’m their mother.”

“You’re not Jack’s.”

She can’t help the gasp that escapes at that, the words he’s only ever thrown at her once before. When Haley had just died and they were trying to find their footing again. She turns to leave, knowing that if she said anything further it wasn’t going to help.

“It’s not like you to walk away from a fight.”

She stops in her tracks and turns to look at him, indignation all over her face. “No, it isn’t. But I did. I tore our family apart because you asked me to leave, and now we are living with the consequences of that.” Emily blows out a breath, tries to calm down. “It’s not my fault Amelia doesn’t recognise you, Aaron.”

He hates that she knows him so well, that she can so easily get to the bottom of what is really upsetting him. “What are you saying? That it is my fault?”

“You started a war with a psychopath that you couldn’t finish. And me and your children had to live with the consequences.” She shakes her head at him. “And if you think for one second that it was easy, you are deluding yourself.”

He opens his mouth to say more, to throw more barbs her way, but the door to their room opens and Jack is standing there, a nervous look on his face. “We can all hear you.”

It’s enough to snap them both out of it, Emily sighing when she thinks about the fact her mother of all people would have overheard everything that had been said. She looks back at Aaron who won’t meet her eyes.

“I’m going out.” Aaron says, leaving the room before she can protest. Emily closes her eyes to stop herself from crying, not wanting to break down in front of Jack and with her parents in the next room. She looks at Jack and tries to smile, mutters an apology as she fails to do so.

Jack nods at her before following out after his father. “Dad, wait. I’m coming with you.”

__________________

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Emily turns to look at Derek, who was standing behind her with his arms crossed and a concerned look on his face. “Yes. I think I need to do this.”

Derek stares at her a second before looking past her to the medical examiner, giving the other man a quick nod. The medical examiner opens a door to a small room and leads them in, a body covered in a sheet laying on a metal table in the middle of it.

Emily can’t help the gasp that escapes her when the sheet is pulled back, the mess of Foyet’s face being brought into view. She closes her eyes for a second and takes a deep breath before making herself look again.

He was unrecognisable. His face was a mess of bruising, dried blood and broken bones and teeth. She couldn’t believe that Aaron, a man who had always touched her so reverently, like she was made of precious jewels, had done this. That the same man who had comforted their children with such tenderness over the years had beaten this man to death, and clearly kept going much longer than was necessary.

She can’t blame him for it, not for a second, because she knows she would have done the exact same thing.

Emily takes a step forward, gets slightly closer to Foyet, and leans down to him. “You lose.”

She walks out the room without looking back. __________________

When Emily gets back to the hotel she sees her mother sat out in the living room, Amelia in her arms, Theo nowhere to be seen.

Elizabeth looks up at her and smiles. “That didn’t take long.”

Emily smiles and nods walking towards the couch. “Thanks for watching them.”

“Did you get what you needed from it?”

“Yes.” Emily replies, sitting next to Elizabeth. Amelia immediately reaches for her mother as soon as she is close enough. Emily smiles as she takes her into her arms, pressing a kiss to her dark hair as she does so. “I think so anyway. Where’s Theo?”

Elizabeth smiles at the mention of her grandson. “Your father is reading him a story, hopefully he’ll fall asleep in his own room tonight.”

Emily sighs. She had left so soon after Aaron and Jack had that there hadn’t been the chance for this conversation earlier. “Mother, please-”

“I’m not criticizing you.” She interrupts, placing a hand on her daughter's leg, trying to soothe her in a way that had never really existed in their relationship. “I promise.”

Emily stares at her, tries to find some of the underlying passive aggressiveness that usually existed in her relationship with her mother. But she found nothing except concern, and something that looked like sympathy. “Ok.”

They sit in silence for a moment, both laughing when Amelia suddenly hauls herself up on Emily’s lap, hands tangling in her hair as she balances herself. Emily smiles at her daughter as she replaces her hair in Amelia’s hands with her fingers. Her heart clenched as it always did when her baby’s hands grasped on tight.

“She’s changed a lot.” Elizabeth says, briefly running a hand down Amelia’s back.

Emily nods. “Yeah, well that’s what 6 months does I guess.”

“You’re still angry at him for asking you to leave.”

Emily turns to look at her mother, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not-”

“You are, and I can’t blame you. I would have been too.” Elizabeth smiles at her. “I was angry. I went to visit him in the hospital the day after you left.”

She frowns at that. “You did?”

“I did. And then I understood.” Elizabeth can’t help the laugh that escapes when Amelia suddenly launches herself forward, head resting on her mother’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. You both just need to talk to each other. You’ve always got through everything.”

Emily smiles, tightening her hold on her own daughter as she settles into her. “Careful, Mother. It’s starting to sound like you actually like Aaron.”

Elizabeth smiles at that. “And he can never know.” __________________

They drive in mostly silence after Jack gives him the street address to the apartment they had stayed in during their time in witness protection.

Jack looks at him for a long moment, contemplating if it was really his place to say anything about the argument he had overheard. He turns back to look out the windscreen before he talks, and watches as the city gives way to countryside, memories of the drive out here for the first time seeping in. He remembered Theo and Amelia crying in the back seat. Theo because he had some vague understanding they wouldn't see their father again for a while. Amelia because she absolutely hated car journeys.

Mostly Jack remembers catching Emily’s eyes as he looked into the back of the car, how sad she looked despite the encouraging smile she plastered on for him.

“I think you need to give Emily a break, Dad.” He finally says. “She did her best.”

“Jack, it’s complicated.”

“I know it is, but none of it was her fault.” Jack replies. “Or yours.” He adds quickly, not missing how Aaron’s hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. Jack clears his throat, an admission leaving his lips before he even realises he was going to say it. “I made her cry once.”

He watches his father frown at that, a question on his face. “Jack?”

“I accused her of sleeping with Sam. I knew she wasn't. I also said she wasn’t my mom.” He says, reminding Aaron what he had overheard earlier. “I just wanted to hurt her so I felt better. It didn’t work.” Jack looks out the window, avoids looking at Aaron. “I think you and me have that in common.”

There is a pause, and Jack swears he hears his dad mutter something about therapy being worth every penny before he speaks loudly enough for him to actually hear. “How did you get so smart?”

Jack smiles at him, and for the first time since he heard Emily and his dad argue he feels relief in his chest. “I’ve had three pretty great parents.” _________________

The apartment is smaller than he imagined it being, the space not seeming enough for his wife and children to have lived in for so long.

It’s clearly been abandoned. There is food left out on the kitchen counter, toys scattered through the living room and he can imagine the panic Jack must have felt when Foyet walked in, claiming his parents were dead.

“It’s a shithole, huh?”

Aaron turns around to look at his son, raising an eyebrow at his turn of phrase, Jack’s only response being him holding his hands up in surrender. Aaron then spots something orange sticking out from under the couch. He bends down to get it, his sore ribs protesting the action, and he picks it up. The fur of the stuffed cat is slightly rougher than he remembered it being, another six months of being fiercely loved by Theo wearing it down slightly.

“Hi, Archie.” He says. “It’s been a while.” __________________

When Aaron and Jack get back, Archie tucked under her husband's arm, she’s reminded of when they left the toy on a plane years ago. Theo was so small then, Amelia not even something they had considered they could have.

“You went to the apartment?” She asks, a frown on her face. She hadn’t been sure what to expect when he had stormed out hours again, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“I wanted to see it.” He says it's like the most simple thing in the world. “Why don’t you go give this to Theo.” He hands over the stuffed cat and she nods, sneaking quietly into the room Jack and Theo were staying in and smiles when she sees her son fast asleep. She places Archie next to him and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Emily turns when she hears noise behind her, and she sees Jack holding a sleeping Amelia in his arms, Aaron behind him with the portable crib the hospital had provided in his hands.

She frowns slightly. “What’s going on?”

“Jack said he’d take Amelia so we could talk.”

Emily turns to Jack. “Are you sure?”

Jack nods, placing his sister in the crib once Aaron sets it down. “Of course.”

She pulls him into a hug. “Thank you.”

They walk over to their room, making Jack promise to come get them if there is an issue with either Theo or Amelia. The door closes behind them and it’s instantly awkward, she stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at anything except him.

“I’m sorry.” He speaks first. “I was out of line earlier.”

She looks at him. “I’m sorry too.” She swallows against the lump in her throat. “I hate this Aaron. I hate that this feels so awkward. It’s never been like this.”

“I hate it too.”

She takes a step towards him. “Then you need to tell me what you’re thinking. I’m a damn good profiler, but I can’t actually read minds.”

He smiles at her, closes the small gap between them and grabs her hand. “I killed a man.”

“I know you did.” She says softly, gripping his hand tighter.

“I didn’t have to kill him.” He says firmly, his voice emotionless. “I could have stopped, and I didn’t.”

“I know.” She repeats, and she smiles sadly at him when he looks at her. “I made Derek take me to see Foyet’s body when you were gone today.” He opens his mouth, words of what she is sure are anger about to spill out. “I needed to see him, Aaron. I had to see it for myself.”

He clenches his jaw tightly for a second before releasing it, nodding at her.

“I’d have done it too.” She says, running her thumb over the knuckles he fractured on Foyet’s teeth. “I’d have killed him. Without a second thought. It doesn’t make you like him.” She cups his cheek. “You are not the same as that man.”

He sighs at that, resting his forehead against hers. “He gave me the same scars as him.”

Emily feels like her breath stutters in her chest, the realisation that was what he had been thinking about all this time hitting her like a truck. “Aaron.”

He pulls back from her, completely removing himself from her grasp, and he unbuttons his shirt, revealing the pattern of scars on his chest. Mixed in with large purple and black bruises she knows are from the final showdown with Foyet.

There was some redness to the scars, raised and slightly puckered still, but she imagined they looked better than they once had. Not for the first time she wishes she had been there with him when he was healing, and she hates that he went through so much alone.

She reaches out and touches one of them, runs her finger over the healed skin. He flinches under her touch and she pulls her hand back.

“Em...”He looks away from her, as if shielding himself from her reaction. Like he had spent the last 6 months convincing himself that anything Foyet had done to him would make her love him less instead of more. It makes her want to go back to the morgue and get a couple good hits in herself, fiery protectiveness for the man who had given her everything licking at her insides. She gently reaches out for her husband instead. Tracing a finger softly over one of the scars before she looks up at him.

“Baby.” She puts a hand on each of his cheeks and makes him look at her, her thumbs tracing his cheekbones. She feels tears gathering in her eyes, and she shakes her head at him. “They don’t matter. I’m not looking at them and thinking of him. I just see you. Just like I always have.”

He stares at her for a moment, as if he is trying to gauge if she is telling the truth, and then he surges forward. His hand tight in the back of her hair as he kisses her fiercely, pouring half a year's worth of love into it.

Emily loses herself in it, letting herself be overwhelmed by the kisses he presses to her lips and down her neck, his hands wandering up the back of her shirt, spanning the whole of her back in a way she has spent months dreaming of. Her memory hadn’t served him justice and she has to choke back a moan as his thumbs graze past her breasts.

Her brain comes back online when he presses her into the bedroom wall, a laugh escaping her mouth as he sucks on her pulse point. “Aaron.” She pushes at him slightly, grabs his face in her hands and runs a thumb over his bottom lip. “Honey, we can’t do this. You’re injured.”

He turns his face to press a kiss to her palm. “Em, please. I just need to feel you.” He presses his lips to her throat and her eyes close, the heat climbing in her body overwhelming.

She wanted him too, so much. This final reaffirmation that they had lived, they’d survived something awful and somehow, by some miracle, still had each other.

“I want you too. So much.” She says, her hand travelling to the back of his neck. “But let's take it to the bed ok?” She pulls him forward to lean his forehead on hers and smiles against his lips. “I don’t think either of us are quite up for fucking against the wall tonight.”

He pulls her tighter to him, and leads her over to the bed without another word, taking her shirt off as he does so.

They lay on the bed together, hands exploring and rediscovering each other slowly. Peeling off their remaining clothes as they go. She feels like her body is on fire, his revenant touch making her shudder.

He sucks a bruise on her shoulder and she decides she’s had enough. Emily pushes him back onto his back and swings a leg over his lap, both of them groaning when she settles over his lap, a jolt of pleasure runnin through both of them. Aaron makes a move to sit up and she gently pushes him back down, linking her hands through his, their fingers intertwining.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” She whispers as she leans down purposely not leaning on his purple mottled skin, kissing him hard on his lips.

She sits back up and sinks onto him, almost biting through her lip to prevent herself from crying out at the feeling. She stays still for a second, allowing herself the chance to adjust, to enjoy the feeling. Then she starts to move. He sits up suddenly, wraps his arms around her and ignores her protests.

“It’s worth it.” He says into her neck, pressing kisses into her skin. “Always...always worth it.”

She nods, unable to argue with him. She moves her head back so she can kiss him, wrapping her arms around the back of his head as she does.

They fall apart together, swallowing each other's moans as they do. Emily rests her forehead against his, breathing heavily as she tries to regulate her emotions. Tears spring to her eyes before she can stop them, and a sob escapes her just as quickly.

“Oh, baby. It’s ok.” He says gently, hugging her to him. He kisses her forehead before pulling her head towards his chest. “You’re ok.”

“I missed you so much.” She cries against him, fingers clawing at his still sweaty back. “So fucking much.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of her head, feels his own tears flood his lash line. “I missed you too.” He strokes the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. “But I’m here. We’re here. It’s over.”

Emily pulls back from his embrace and he immediately cups her face, wipes away the tears on her cheeks despite the fact he knew they’d be instantly replaced. “It’s over.” She repeats back to him before resting her head against him again. “It’s really over.”

He nods, their foreheads clashing slightly. “I love you, Emily.”

She laughs, like it’s the most obvious thing he had ever said, and she palms his face, cupping his cheek. “I love you too.” __________________

She demands to go to the house the next day, just the two of them. He’s unsure at first, doesn’t know if it is a good idea. But she is insistent, and he has never been one to deny her. Elizabeth and John come back around to stay with the children, both Theo and Amelia hesitant to be separated from their mother. It had led to a lot of tears, some from Emily although she would deny it if he brought it up, but they left eventually, a promise that they wouldn’t be long hanging in the air.

Emily is out of the car and through their front door, crime scene tape was still hanging from the frame, before he even had the car parked up. He walks in after her and finds her sood in the doorway of their dining room.

“I used to love this house.” She says without turning to look at him, eyes fixed on their dining room floor where he had left Foyet’s body only three days beforehand. “It was the first place that ever felt like home to me.” She sniffs, the heel of her hand coming to her cheek to wipe away a tear that he can’t see. “I loved our apartment, it’s the place where we became us. But this is the house we bought to have a family in. Even though that never quite turned out the way we thought it would.”

“I’ve always loved it too.”

She looks at his knuckles, still swollen, cuts standing out against his skin. “Theo took his first steps here.” She looks back at the floor. “I’d always think about that when we had dinner as a family. How he shuffled out your lap and just started walking.” She bites her lip, chin wobbling as she remembers the moment that seems so long ago now. “Now all I can think about when I stand here is that you beat a man to death. Or that the last time I came home and I found our living room stained with your blood.”

“Em.”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault.” She finally looks at his face, takes one of his bruised hands in hers and delicately runs her thumb over his damaged knuckles. She sees the doubt in his eyes, the concern she had caused with their crossed words the day before and she's so mad at herself for it she could cry. “None of this is your fault.” She emphasises. “ I just don’t think we can live here anymore.”

He feels relief he wasn’t expecting, a tension he hadn’t realised was in his chest starts to fade at her words. His time alone in the house, and the events that had bookended it, had tainted it for him. The innocence that had once lived in the walls of their house, their sanctuary from the horrors they saw in their work, torn away. “Then we find somewhere else to live.”

She looks at him with curiosity in her eyes, and she tilts her head slightly at him. “You say it like it’s simple, finding somewhere we can call home.”

“Em,” He runs his hands up her arms, finally settling on her shoulders as he pulls her into a hug. “You and the kids are my home, you’re all I need.”

Emily holds him just as tightly. “You’re mine too. I think you always have been.”

__________________

One Month Later - December 2009

Amelia is standing on his thighs, hands squishing his cheeks when he gets the call. JJ’s name flashing across his screen automatically makes his heart drop. The last he’d heard from Emily they had caught the guy. His motivations for one of the murders were still unclear, and Emily was driving with one of the local detectives and the unsub to take him into custody.

She’d even commented that she would be home for putting the kids to bed on her first case back at work. She had asked Derek to take the lead for the first couple of cases back, so she could readjust to it after such a long time away.

He balances Amelia with one hand, the little girl still not quite able to stand completely by herself yet, and grabs his phone to answer it. “JJ, what’s wrong?”

“She’s ok.” JJ starts off, sounding unsure over the phone. “She said not to call, but I thought you’d want to know.”

“JJ, just tell me.”

JJ sighs, as if preparing herself for his reaction. “Emily’s been in a car accident.”

[mystical-flute]

Hustling For the Good Life (SFWeek Day 3)

No Curse (Our World) AU or Season 3 AU

@mysteryandnonstopfun

AO3 || FFN

Emma’s stare was harsh and aimed in the direction of her parents and Regina. “We can’t.”

There was absolutely no time to argue. Pan’s curse was steadily drawing near, the sky already taking on a dark, ominous hue, swallowing up the buildings and people that had called Storybrooke home for twenty-eight years.

“Emma, you have to go. It’s the only way to keep Henry safe!” Snow protested.

Neal turned away from the small family, and looked at Belle. “Are you going to be okay, Belle?”

“Don’t worry about me. Your father would want you and Henry to be safe, Bae,” she said. “Besides, Snow has been kind enough to allow me to stay with them… if we’re able to get back to their castle.”

So much was unknown about what was going to happen. Neal was worried he might throw up.

He put on a brave smile that he knew neither of them bought.

“You guys need to hurry!” Ruby suddenly cried, glancing over her shoulder at the purple storm clouds racing toward them. “It’s almost here!”

Neal squeezed Belle’s hand and turned to Emma and Henry. “Let’s - let’s get to safety, then.”

He should have been happy that the life he and Emma deserved to have was within his grasp, but like everything with magic, the price was too damn steep, and it wouldn’t be worth it.

They might not remember Storybrooke, but he knew the pain in Snow, David, and Regina’s eyes would never leave.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” he said, passing Regina on his way to the bug.

“Just keep Henry safe. Please.”

“You know we will.”

Neal gave Hook one final glance, and a single nod of acknowledgement before he got in the passenger’s seat once Henry was safely in the back. He and Emma clasped their hands over the gear shift, the familiar rumbling of the bug almost making him smile as Emma began to drive.

None of them took their eyes off the mirrors as their loved ones -

“Em? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, glancing at her. “Allergies acting up?”

Emma took her hand off his, using it to wipe her eyes before she pulled to the side of the road. “No - sorry. I just got a little overwhelmed at the thought of our apartment in Boston. We’ve lost everything, Neal. Our clothes, our furniture, our pictures - ”

“But not our lives,” he said, rubbing her back. “Emma, we’re lucky we weren’t home when the fire broke out. We can replace the stuff, but we can’t replace each other.”

Henry looked up from his game. “I’m not reenacting those baby pictures.”

Neal snort-laughed. “You don’t have to, bud. But just be aware that your mom and I might take a few extra pictures of you for the foreseeable future.”

Henry scowled, rolling his eyes, and immersed himself in Zelda again.

Emma chuckled. “New York then. Almost home.”

---

“It’s a boy!” the doctor announced, Henry’s cries cutting through the air.

“Healthy pair of lungs on him,” the nurse chuckled, rubbing him down. “Oh darling, it’s okay. Let’s get you to Mama, hmm?”

Emma and Neal, two terrified eighteen year olds, were in shock as the nurse laid him in Emma’s arms.

“H - hi baby…” Emma whispered as his cries slowly died down and he stared at them with wonder in his dark eyes. “I’m - I’m your mama… and that’s your daddy…”

The first year had been rough, of course. They lived in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment in Tallahassee, waitressing and whatever else they could find. They clawed and saved whatever they could, to give Henry more than what they’d had.

But more important than things, was love. Henry had two parents that loved him more than anything in the world, which is much more than Neal or Emma could say for themselves.

They were happy, most of all. Yeah the apartment was a squeeze, and there were on and off issues with bugs, but through it all, the three of them were happy.

They married when Henry was three - a small ceremony in Boston after they’d moved there for Emma’s job. He’d gotten a better job not long after that, as a photographer, and he was really, really good at it, like Emma was good at tracking down criminals.

And so the little family moved up in the world. From a one-bedroom apartment to a two bedroom, they could buy new toys and clothes for Henry instead of hoping they found something at a thrift store or garage sale. It finally felt like they were where they were meant to be.

Emma’s twenty-eighth birthday came and went, and Neal felt a twist of guilt in his gut when August’s voice echoed in his head.

The problem was, Neal hadn’t heard anything from August. No postcard, no email… nothing. No information as to where this supposed curse was?

So how was he supposed to get Emma to her supposed destiny if he didn’t know where he was going?

He had a job, a family. They couldn’t just drive across the country and hope they got lucky.

Then there had been the fire, the spring after Emma’s birthday. They’d been on a camping trip in Maine, Neal taking photos of the coast and Emma insisting Henry needed less time in front of the screen, when they’d gotten the call.

Everything in their apartment was gone, the building itself almost totally a loss.

He’d been transferred to New York.

So they’d started over, again.

New York had been good to them - incredibly so.

The magazine he’d gotten a job with had offered to pay for their rent for two months while they got new furniture and settled into the city.

Henry was thriving in school, making friends and joining the art club. It was everything Neal had ever hoped for.

And after they’d settled in, new furniture and wardrobes abound, they had received a call from one of Emma’s contacts with the NYPD. A two year old girl had been found in an abandoned apartment. No family that the cops or child services could find, and the girl didn’t say anything other than her name - Audrey.

So they’d taken her in, adoption paperwork being expedited given the strangeness of the situation.

All she had to her name was a pink baby blanket, not unlike the one Emma had.

It felt like fate, adopting Audrey the way it happened.

Or something else, but Neal pushed that thought aside as he situated her in her chair, watching as she carefully fed herself.

Emma slid into the seat next to her, a plate in her hand.

“Busy day today?” she asked.

“Nah, just editing the pictures from the Elton John concert last night. I can do it from here,” he said with a shrug, glancing over at a knock on the door. “I got it.”

When he pulled the door open, he’d wished he hadn’t.

“Baelfire.”

He felt the color drain from his face. “Hook. What the hell are you doing here?”

To his shock, Hook actually looked relieved to see him, like it hadn’t been 200 years since they saw each other. Like they had actually been friendly last he saw him. “I came to get you three, Baelfire. To take you home.”

“Home? You must be insane. I am home.”

“Emma’s parents need help, Baelfire. So does your father.”

His eyes narrowed. “Did August send you?”

Hook’s face radiated confusion. “Who’s August?”

That was a no, then, and that didn’t make Neal feel any better about Hook being here. He shouldn’t even know what he looked like - he’d been fourteen when they last saw each other! “Why should I believe you? After everything? And why would you give a damn about my father?”

“He saved my life.”

Neal laughed, then winced when he remembered Emma and Henry were only feet away. “Why would he save you ?”

Hook shrugged. “I was collaterally saved.”

“As always,” he spat.

“Dad?” Henry called. “You okay?”

“Just a second, Henry!” Neal turned back to Hook and narrowed his eyes. “Get lost. Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it.”

Hook sighed, holding out a piece of paper. “Fine. If you change your mind, I’m staying here.”

Neal frowned as he took it, watching Hook disappear back down the hall. How had Hook been able to get a hotel room?

This was weird, and despite his instincts telling him to stay away from anything related to the Enchanted Forest, Hook had mentioned Emma’s parents. If they were involved in this, maybe there was more to Emma being left on the side of the road.

So, with Henry at school, Emma at work, and Audrey at daycare, Neal did what his brain was yelling at him not to do, and wandered to the address Hook had given him. To his surprise, it wasn’t a hotel at all, but an apartment building. He was let in no problem, and stood in front of the door.

Why was this familiar?

He pushed the door open, and resisted the urge to toss his keys on a nearby table (why had he wanted to do that?). Instead, he picked up an envelope that caught his attention, dropping it in shock.

Why was his name on it?

He left the envelope on the floor, glancing again around the apartment, and his heart stopped.

The yellow dreamcatcher he and Emma had snatched was hanging from a window. Rushing to it, he lifted it into his hands, afraid it would break.

It should have burned in the fire. How was it here?

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Hook’s voice rumbled from the doorway.

Neal spun around. “Hook, what the hell is this?”

Hook didn’t answer, instead, he pulled a vial of blue liquid from his pocket and held it out. “Your memories of the past year have been erased, Bae.”

“Neal.” He made no move to take the vial.

Hook sighed. “Neal. Please. You have to trust me.”

“Why?”

“It’s like I said - Emma’s family is in danger. A witch is plotting something against her parents. I only just escaped in time before they were sent back to Storybrooke.”

Neal bit his lip and looked around the apartment again. That might explain why he never heard from August, but getting Emma to do anything regarding her parents would be worse than pulling teeth.

He took the vial and drained it, lurching back in pain when the memories began to flood in.

Oh no.

Neal’s eyes were wide with horror as they settled down, and looked up at Hook again. “Killian…”

Killian grinned. “There you are, lad.”

“How’s Belle?”

Killian had a hesitant look on his face. “She’s… as well as she can be. Your father is alive, Bae, but he’s missing, and with Emma’s parents in danger - ”

“The witch might have something to do with it.” She probably had something to do with it, really. “What about Emma and Henry’s memories?”

Hook pulled out two more vials, his face sad. “I’m sorry I had to wake you up, Bae.”

He sighed, remembering the devastation before they’d crossed the town line, Emma’s tearful, almost childish refusal to leave her parents, and the broken look Regina had tried to hide when Henry wasn’t looking. “Don’t be. This is… going to be for the best.”

What it meant for him and Emma, time would only tell.

The Bug was quiet as they raced through the night, back to Storybrooke. Hook, Henry, and Audrey were asleep in the back, but Neal was wide awake.

“Emma…” he said quietly. “About us - ”

Her head snapped over, visible confusion on her face. “What about us?”

“I mean… the marriage, the amount of love we have for each other - ”

“False memories or not, the love I have for you is real, Neal Cassidy,” she said. “I was going to meet you at Granny’s, give you that second chance before Pan’s curse. Although… I guess that was a second chance too.”

Neal smiled, relieved. “So you wanna stay married to me?”

Emma smiled back. “Neal Cassidy, I’ll marry you in any lifetime.”

[thegraystreaks]

hi everyone, i have been plagued with some Very Painful Thoughts™️ about percabeth post-tlo/pre-hoo. i don’t have the energy or emotional capacity to turn them into a fic but theyve been bouncing around in my head for a week and i need someone else to hurt with me. if you’re just trying to be happy today and celebrate our boy’s birthday in peace keep scrolling but if you want to Hurt come with me on this journey!!!

annabeth post-tlo is Clingy with percy...and he loves it but he’s also a little overwhelmed/confused, bc it’s like...all the time. she's always touching some part of him, holding his hand or tucked into his side or brushing her fingers across his arm

and he cant believe that she wants to spend time with him as much as he wants to spend time with her, that SHE’S the one always suggesting they sneak off to the canoe lake during those last two weeks of camp (not just to kiss, although they do a lot of that, but to talk and hang out without prying eyes)

he keeps catching her looking at him with some strange expression he cant quite decipher but it’s full of emotion and he doesn’t know what it means!!

and it finally all comes out when he wakes up from a nap (hello curse of achilles!!) and she’s there, running her hands through his hair (his gray streak in particular bc duh) and she’s crying

he panics for a sec bc whats wrong?!? but he just holds her and says “hey, it’s okay, i’m here, i’ve got you” and she just cries harder and finally says “i just can’t believe you’re still here”

and she tells him about how she was terrified for years that she was gonna lose him, her best friend, when he turned 16. (might i remind you!! chiron showed her the full prophecy when she was 10!!) she’s an exposed nerve, a ball of emotions..... our weepy annabeth just crying and crying and “i can’t believe you’re still here, i can’t believe i get to keep you”

percy’s mind is reeling about what it all must have been like for her, and she says “some days it hurt to even look at you. you were right there, and i was mourning you. you were right there and i missed you already.”

and percy gets it then, why she always needs to be near him these days. to remind herself he survived, that he’s still here

percy thinks about what it would be like becoming her best friend, spending years attached at the hip like they were, developing feelings for her, all with the knowledge of her most-probable death at 16

he thinks it’d be like growing up with a knife in his chest that no one else could see, like feeling it twist every time she smiled at him. remembering her fate in the middle of an everyday conversation and feeling like he’d been slapped across the face

she tells him she’d constantly teetered between trying to ignore her feelings and praying to every god to protect him. she’d pray for them to give her more information about the prophecy, pray that there was some double meaning in the prophecy she just didn’t understand yet

DONT think about him holding her, comforting her, saying “you don’t have to miss me anymore. i’m right here.” DONT think about him promising, “i’m not going anywhere”

and WHATEVER YOU DO please DO NOT THINK ABOUT hera taking him away from her a couple months later, hera breaking that promise for him

god i was gonna stop there but like...annabeth during those months?? working herself sick, throwing herself into plans for the argo ii, learning everything she can about roman mythology, grilling jason about everything he remembers about camp jupiter

before they learn about camp jupiter’s existence, during an update meeting on the search for percy, some dumbass suggests “maybe he left on purpose...maybe he doesn’t want to be found” and annabeth LOSES IT

she screams, throws something at their head, and storms out, and all she can think is he said he wouldn’t leave, he said he wasn’t going anywhere

it’s clarisse who finds her at the shore of the canoe lake

annabeth gets out, “oh, fuck off, clarrise” between sobs

but then....clarisse comforting her? rubbing her back?? “i know he wouldn’t leave you, wise girl, not on purpose” (the nickname slices through annabeth like a blade) “i’m on your side, okay? percy was a pain in my ass, but he’s my pain in the ass, and i don’t want him out there annoying gods know who else. we’re gonna find him, just so that i can beat him into a pulp for disappearing on you”

and if i think any harder about grover and sally and tyson and annabeth leaning on each other for support, being sad and terrified together, and the whole camp rallying around them and caring for them i’m gonna give myself an aneurysm.....so i'll stop there

if you made it this far congrats!!!! i mean this in the nicest way but i really hope you’re as sad as i am about all of this. xoxo

[anxiousstark]

Hello yes, can I put in a request of Reader joining the Pogue group two summers after the whole John B incident and one morning when JJ notices the Chateau void of anyone he gets panicked and when reader and the rest of the group comes back he just embraces all of them and quietly says, “I thought you left without saying goodbye.” Please and thank you.😘😘

Not meant to say goodbye | JJ MAYBANK

Warnings: Angst, swearing, mentions of abuse, anxiety, and panic attacks. It ends on fluff. Not proofread, it’s 2 am right now. First time writing for JJ Maybank. Hope you guys like it.

Word Count: 1253

All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.

BIG MASTERLIST

Last night JJ Maybank was embraced by the cold yet comforting sensation of fresh sheets. He couldn't help but fall asleep with a peaceful smile on his face while his hand tightened around your hips. Your hands had caressed his blonde locks, listening to his serene breathes until he was completely asleep. After making sure that he was in a deep slumber, you had decided that you could close your eyes.

But now, JJ Maybank was striving to continue sleeping, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that he felt in his chest. The fresh sheets that had embraced him last night luring him to sleep were now hot. His half-unconscious body seemed to tangle on them. He was suffocating. His deep blue eyes opened, he was staring at the ceiling, coming quickly to his senses and noticing that you weren't beside him.

Where were you?

He got up from the bed as quickly as possible, trying to maintain the calm and not agitate his breath even more.

When he came out of the room that he shared with you, his heart went even crazy, and he believed he could die from how fast it was beating.

No Pope, no Kiara, and even worst. No sign of you.

JJ's right hand went to his throat, he couldn't breathe. His other hand tried to support his body, holding onto the wall, but his shaking legs made him fall to the ground. His feet forced him to move, to 'crawl', resting his back against one of the walls. He hadn't notice, but tears were running down his cheeks. Where were his friends? Where was his family?

His sobs got violent, vision blurred by the big drops of water that threatened to continue falling.

A sound was ignored, too busy trying not to choke while crying. "JJ?"

His eyes focused on a blurred figure, blinking away the teardrops he was able to recognize Pope. He couldn't stand when Pope Heyward would talk about his future, because JJ was terrified of the future, and he still had to decide what he wanted to do with his life. Pope Heyward would do so many great things in his life. He would build his own life, far from the Outer Banks. That terrified JJ. Everyone would move forward while he would stay in the same old place. He was sure his fate was to be alone in the Outer Banks, stuck.

"JJ, dude. What's wrong?" His friend was so worried about him. He had gone out with the two other girls. JJ sleeping meant that they were able to go and buy everything they needed to surprise the Maybank boy for his birthday. They hadn't thrown a party in so long, mostly because one person was missing. John B. Routledge. They were shattered by the disappearance of John B and Sarah Cameron. They missed them so badly, and they just hoped that they were safe and alive. But JJ seemed to be the most affected. John B was the first person JJ Maybank went to when he couldn't stand his dad's beatings, he was the person who offered his place as a safe home for him, he was the person who believed in JJ Maybank like nobody ever did.

The blond got up from the ground, his sobs now loud, not being able to control how agonizing were the sounds coming out from him, and how much pain he was going through. He hugged Pope, who hugged him back as strongly, feeling how devasted JJ was.

His body shook uncontrollably, face hidden on the crook of his neck. Before the boy could ask where he was, Kiara Carrera made an appearance. Her eyes wide open when he saw both friends hugging each other, the blonde boy looking more vulnerable than ever. She let the bags she was carrying fall to the ground, probably breaking the eggs they were going to use to bake JJ's favorite cake. She didn't have to think twice or get an explanation of what was going on. Her arms ended up around both boys, holding the blond boy especially close.

Kiara Carrera was a special girl. JJ was grateful that she was part of the pogues. He never expected a Kook to be so down to earth. She broke all the stereotypes JJ had about pogues. He still couldn't stand those rich brats, but he could stand Kiara. She never made them feel inferior for having more money than they did. She never judged him, even though he committed so many mistakes. She was there to guide him, advising him of what was correct and what was wrong,

"I-I thought you guys left." His voice trembled as his body did too. His sobs became even louder, making his friends' hearts break. Kiara couldn't contain the tears that glistened her eyes, the same happened to Pope.

"What's going on, guys?" A sweet voice but full of worry interfered with JJ's cries.

Y/N Y/L/N. JJ had been so scared to open up to her. He was frightened. After John B's disappearance, he was even more afraid of opening up. But what the heck could he do when Y/N came stumbling into his life and creating the desire to love and be loved?

Every night he would look at the stars, smiling softly while the breeze caressed his face. He would think about John B coming back, and he would repeat over and over again in his head how that moment would be. He would hug him tightly, maybe punch his stomach for leaving, but also holding him tightly. He would proudly introduce Y/N to John B, and he knew he would be so happy for him because JJ finally found someone that made him feel like Sarah Cameron made John B feel.

"JJ, baby." Your voice was a mere whisper, eyes getting teary even though you didn't understand the situation. But seeing the love of your life sob violently while holding into your friends was overwhelming. You run to them. They let you get in between them, so you were completely clutching into JJ. "What happened? What is going on?"

"I woke up," Your hands rubbed his back, giving him the comfort he needed to continue. "And you guys weren't there. There was nobody." His eyes searched deep into yours. Your lips pecking his softly, trying to calm down his weepings. "You didn't leave a note. You always leave a note when you leave."

You had left a note, telling JJ that the three of you were going out to buy all you needed for the entire week, without mentioning that you guys were going to buy some stuff for his upcoming birthday.

Kiara looked around, she had seen you leave a note for JJ, knowing he would get anxious when seeing the Chateau empty. But you guys didn't expect him to feel so frail. Kiara noticed that the window was open, the wind had must have knocked the note out of the table.

"I thought you left without saying goodbye."

You cried loudly. "I would never leave you, JJ. I would never leave you. We are not meant to say goodbye, okay?" Your hands grabbed his face, thumbs rubbing his cheeks. "I'm so sorry we scared you like that. I love you, JJ Maybank."

You would never leave him. Nobody would take you away from him. Nobody.

That night was spent hugging each other, comforting hugs, non-timid hands clutching, and expressing feelings of love and friendship.

[imaginedxlan]

Ghost of You (Luke Patterson)

a/n: I’m really taking the multifandom thing to the extreme huh? Well this is my #first julie and the phantoms imagine because that show is so gas. Also ghost of you by 5sos is also gas and it made me cry to think of this song and the boys so i just had to do something.

25 years ago, y/n was dating the frontman of the band Sunset Curve, Luke Patterson. Now, a quarter of a century after his untimely death, she sees what she can only assume to be his ghost in a new band and is reminded of the days when she loved him and how she processed his death at only seventeen.

y/d/n = your daughter’s name

Warnings: death, depression

_____________________

It’s a Saturday morning when your daughter comes running in to show you some YouTube video on her iPad. You can’t really understand what she’s saying, just things like holograph, hot boy and band. When she finally calms down and presses play on the video you see a young girl, no older than fifteen, singing with a beautiful voice. Your daughter has never really been one to show you random videos, not that this girl wasn’t a good singer, but you’re confused as to why she would have taken the time to run from her room to show you this video.

Then you see it. Just as the chorus of the song begins to play, a band appears around her, full equipment flashes in completely out of nowhere. There he is. You can’t believe your eyes. As your daughter begins to point out the boy wish the shaggy brown hair and glowing smile and how ‘hot he is’ you feel nauseous. Luke Patterson, front man of Sunset Curve and your deceased boyfriend.

“Turn that off, y/d/n.” You say sternly as your mind begins to cloud. This had to be some sort of dream, or nightmare. Seeing Luke’s face after so long, feeling like you had been transported right back to 1995, it was all too much. You had tried so hard to move on, to heal from the sudden loss of him, but seeing him like this brought back the hurt all over again.

“Mom? Are you alright?” Your daughter asks, still not pausing the video. “It’s just a video, I don’t understand.”

“I said turn it off!” You never meant to sound so harsh, but the queesy feeling in your stomach only worsens the more you hear the rasp in his voice, so clear compared to the only CDs you’d kept throughout the years. “I need to go lay down.”

July 30, 1995

This worst day of your life, standing next to your parents and his as you struggle for a breath. Only eight days have past since the fateful night that was supposed to be your boyfriends big break but ended up taking his life. Your arms are folded tightly in front of you as you attempt to stop the endless stream of sobs rolling from your lips. Staring at his casket, side by side with Alex and Reggie’s, made you feel sicker than any flu you’d every caught. The pastor walks ahead of the crowd in front of the three wooden boxes that held your very best friends.

“My friends, we are gathered here today for a number reasons. First, we are here to pay our tribute to three young men, all full of talent and promise, who have been taken from this earth far too soon. Reginald Peters, Luke Patterson, and Alexander Mercer.” When he calls the names of the boys, you only cry harder into your fathers shoulder. Only seventeen years old and you had already suffered the worst loss you could ever imagine. “We are also here to comfort the families of these boys along with their loved ones. Not only have we sensed our own personal feelings of loss over Reggie, Luke, and Alex’s passing, but our hearts have been drawn toward them, and will continue to be with them. We are here to seek comfort, as our hearts ache over this inconceivable loss, and we hope that these young men will find eternal rest, wherever they may be.”

With your heart heavy, so say your final goodbye to the boy you love most in this world. Placing a hand on his casket, the tears do not stop rolling down your cheeks. You feel a hand grip your shoulder and turn to see Mrs. Patterson, her eyes red and heavy like yours. You embrace the woman and cry into each other for a while, unable to break from the closest person to Luke. You hold her hand, his father on the other side of her, as they lower him into the ground. You replay the last moment you spent with him in your mind, wishing him luck before they went for those stupid fucking hotdogs before the show, telling him you’d be cheering him on from the wings. The Orpheum was their dream and they never got to play it.

You couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of loss, not that you were expected to. The weeks you spent laying in your bed, staring at the Sunset Curve posters and polaroids from concerts and rehearsals on your walls, turned to months. You didn’t cry, there were no more tears left in your body. Those photos are all you have left of him, that and their CD that played on repeat all day and night. Your parents were probably sick of it by now but they didn’t dare come in to tell you to turn it off. They did come in to tell you when dinner was ready and ask if you wanted to see any of the countless friends that came to comfort you. They would sit on your bed, listening to the voice of your now dead boyfriend and cry with you. They try to get you to leave the house, come with them on a walk or get breakfast at your favorite diner but it was no use. Any place you go will bring up a memory you have when Luke was there with you, smiling that bright shiny smile of his.

You eventually did go outside, having to start and finish out your senior year without him. No homecoming, no prom, no graduation. The school held memorials for the boys, they hung portraits and painted murals but it just made you more numb to the feelinh when you saw his face. Nothing made you happy anymore, you put on a face to keep your friends, parents and newly appointed grief counsellor from forcing any pills down your throat to fix the chemical imbalance that came from losing the only light on your life. They called it complicated grief, it was persistent and crippling, but you refused to take any pharmaceuticals. You feel semi-responsible for not being there to tell him hotdogs from the back of a car was a bad idea, you feel like you have to sit with this ever present sinking feeling. You spend Luke’s birthday with his parents every year, remembering the last birthday you spent with him and trying your hardest to smile at the memory of the boys smashing his cake into his face at some random stop on tour, but you can’t.

Present Day

You find the video that your daughter showed you earlier today, Julie and the Phantoms they were called. You had pulled the shoe box out of your closet, the one filled with concert t-shirts, polaroid’s and posters from the best days of your life and went through them for the first time in a long time. Your husband knew Luke, he went to your high school and then college. He knew what his death did to you and he understood that Luke Patterson will always have a piece of your heart. He doesn’t mind, he supports you on the hard days, his birthday and the anniversary of his death, and he pushes you to grow and heal from the pain. You needed someone like him in your life, he was good.

“We buried you.” You whisper as your finger comes into contact with the screen, staring at the face of the seventeen year old boy you lost in 1995. Your daughter explained it was a hologram, that the girl who was singing had programmed them into her stage, but you watched every single Sunset Curve performance and it looked nothing like any one you ever saw. You were staring at the ghost of him. Your hand reached for your favorite polaroid picture of him, all sweaty and gross after a show with the biggest smile on his face. “We buried you, Luke.”

Your husband had already seen the video by the time he came home from work. He held you while you cried, swearing he was a ghost. He told you over and over again that he was just a hologram, and you eventually stopped fighting him. Your daughter was confused, you never told her about Luke or the boys, it was just too hard. In the morning you went through the box again, this time stopping on a disposable camera photo of the two of you holding each other backstage just before a show. When you looked closer at the photo he was wearing the same blue hoodie he was wearing that night.

July 22, 1995

Sound check is only a few minutes away and you sat on a big red couch in the backstage area of The Orpheum with the boys. You were cuddled into Luke’s side, hearing his heartbeat racing at the thought of getting on stage in less than an hour.

“I can’t believe we made it,” Alex muses, fiddling with his drum sticks. “Sunset Curve, playing at the Orpheum.”

“Tell your friends.” Reggie adds, making the group laugh. “I can’t believe it either. This is going to change everything.”

Bobby nodded with the boys, so did Luke. You looked up toward him, in awe of how far they’ve come. “Hey, I’m really proud of you.”

He looks down to you and pulls you tighter into him before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Wouldn’t be here without you.”

“As if,” You roll your eyes. “I just told you Sunset Curve sounded better than Sunset Curb, and Alex was already pushing against curb.”

He just smiles, and rests his head on top of your. “We have to go soon. We’ll probably get something to eat beforehand, so I’ll see you after the show. I love you.”

“I love you more, hot shot.” You reply, lifting your head to leave a soft kiss on his lips. The boys let out a collective ew to which you respond with your middle finger, no words. “Go kill it, you know where I’ll be.”

“Don’t move!” Reggie shouts as Luke is about to get off the couch. He pulls out a camera from his backpack and brings it to his eye. “You’ll want this for the slideshow when I make my speech at your wedding.”

You and Luke roll your eyes before he brings you closer into his side, flashing his award winning smile. You hold him tight and stare up at his beautiful face when the flash of the camera goes off. He plants one more kiss on your temple before getting up.

The four boys filed out of the backstage area and onto their respective spots on stage, Luke turning around to send you one last wink before grabbing his guitar. Not even an hour later, the sound of sirens bring you the worst news you could ever fathom. They were dead, the three of them were dead and you never even got to say goodbye. You and Bobby stand shocked while the officers explain what happened, your first thought being this is some huge prank they’re playing to get their nerves out before the show. But it wasn’t. They really died that night and you’re left wondering what you could’ve done different so he would still be here. So Reggie could have actually made a speech at your wedding, what you could have done to build a life with him instead of losing him at seventeen. 

Present Day

You spend a long time deciding what will make you feel okay after this. You had spent years avoiding every aspect of life that would remind you of your lost love, but now his ghost, or hologram, is an internet sensation. While it broke your heart to see him again, doing the thing he loved most in this world, it forced you to look back on your time with him, to look through all the memories you made with him and you were grateful for that. You find that the young girl, Julie, goes to school with your daughter. You decide that direct contact between a fifteen year old and a forty-two year old stranger would be far out of your comfort zone. Settling on a letter that your daughter will pass along to her, you sit down to write.

Dear Julie,

      My name is Y/n, I’m y/d/n’s mom. This may seem a little odd that  your classmate’s mother is writing you a note, but I have to thank you for something. In 1995, I lost someone very special to me, a few people actually. They were in a band called Sunset Curve, maybe you’ve heard of them. Y/d/n showed me your performance, all I can say is wow. You are an extraordinarily talented girl, not only musically but your holograms are awe-striking. When I saw the figure of my late friends come on to screen, you have no idea what kind of joy that brought me, to watch them perform again. I was with them that night, the night of The Orpheum. They were one step closer to stardom before it all ended, if they were able to see that your music was bringing them back to life I’m sure they would be shouting and carrying on like they always did. You allowed me to get one last chance to see them perform, something I always wished I could see. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’m not sure how you managed to create them and bring them into your show, but however you did it you brought some peace back into my life. After watching your video, I was finally able to face the past, something I have been struggling with for years. If you ever had any questions about the boys or want to see some memorabilia I’ve kept all these years, feel free to reach out. Again Julie, you don’t know what your video gave me, I am forever grateful for you and your technological skills. I hope success finds you, thats all Sunset Curve could have ever dreamed of.

Best Wishes,                                                                                                      Y/N

[ayatosmlktea]

best boyfriend series | kirishima

A/N: So there is a list me and the gal pals have compiled of who we think are the best boyfriends in the entire world. I haven’t been in a thirsting mood for so long probably bc im mad ✨depressed✨ so the only thing on my mind is soft boys and how amazing they are. This is the most writing I've done in months but I wrote this for Bri’s birthday a while back and am now sharing them with you bc we could all use some wholesome kiripima 

I wrote these as the thoughts came to my mind so...its not really organized ANYWAY enjoy!

- Your sense of humour and easy going personality is what draws him in even if he doesn’t realize it to be love in the beginning

- Even when he’s training with bakugou his eyes are always searching you out, the way you handle your quirk takes his breath away he just thinks you look so badass in combat

- Every time you ask if he wants to study together his heart starts racing so fast it feels like it’s going to burst out of  his chest and he has to fight back the blush that burns the back of his neck and ears whenever you giggle

- As you and Mina become closer, you start hanging out more with the bakusquad.

- Kiri finds himself getting increasingly distracted by you, he notices every little thing like the way your eyes shine whenever you smile, the way cover your mouth when you laugh which bothers him because the entire world deserves to see how beautifully radiant you look when you’re happy

- He notices the way your body language changes when you’re tired, how your attitude gets a little grumpier when you’re hungry and through learning all of that Kiri steps in to make you whole

- When you’re tired he passes you his notes to copy after class just giving you a knowing smile and ignoring the way his heart flutters when you stare at him like he’s your knight in shining armour

- He doesn’t like the way that Denki and sero playfully flirt with you, it makes him feel weird although he knows he has no right to be jealous so he ignores it

- During your second year you start dating Shinsou and Kiri can feel his world come to a halt, his heart plummets into this stomach but he puts on a fake smile and tells you that he’s happy for you and he hopes Shinsou treats you right

- You don’t seem to notice the way the light in his eyes is gone, how much more time he puts into training now that you’re busy with your new relationship and as bitter and mad as he wants to be he knows you deserve to be happy, even if it isn’t with him so he pushes his feelings down and acts like he isn’t being punched in the gut every time you kiss shinsou and not him

- Your last night in the dorms before summer vacation Kirishima finds himself being woken up by a quick series of knocks on his door

“Denki I told you already pennywise is not under your be-” he stops mid sentence when he finds you outside of his door, sniffling with red rimmed eyes

- He’s barely awake and processing what’s happening as he opens his door wider so you can come inside before one of the teachers catches you out of bed and on the boys side of the dorms

- He can hear that you’ve been crying and are still trying not to when you apologize for waking him up so late but you didn’t know who else to go to and suddenly his entire body is burning with anger when you tell him that Shinsou broke up with you

- He can’t help but let out a broken laugh, Shinsou never deserved your heart in the first place. If he couldn’t see how dedicated you were to the people you loved, how you cared for your friends and put their needs above yours, how incredibly talented and hardworking and beautiful you were then he was the dumbest man alive

- You’re suddenly quiet and Kiri realizes that he’s said all of that outloud and the overwhelming urge to disappear consumes him. He was sure that you were going to get up and walk out and never speak to him again but you don’t

- Instead you ask if he means what he said so quietly he can barely hear it and despite how hot his cheeks are burning with embarrassment he tells you he does

- He stops you when you lean in to kiss him and his heart hurts when he can see the rejection and embarrassment paint your features but he tells you that it’s not because he doesn’t want to kiss you, because of course he wants to, but he doesn’t want to take advantage of your feelings when you’re going through an emotional time

- You two spend the summer hanging out- just as friends, he wants to give you time to get over Shinsou because the last thing he wants is to be your rebound

- But with every day that goes by he finds it harder not to kiss you, not to hold your hand, not to text you every second of the day, not to tell you that he loves you

- The realization that he loves you doesn’t scare him, but it is the first time he admits to himself and accepts it rather than trying to bury it and so after he walks you home and you turn to go into inside he grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a kiss

- It’s not the most coordinated kiss but it sets every nerve in his body on fire and you’re both clinging onto each other like it’s your only lifeline. You break apart with the biggest smiles on your face and in that moment Kiri knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life with you

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- Well i wasn’t planning to write all that so now let’s get into WHY he’s the best bf

He’s 100% devoted to you, literally you could be in a room full of fkn models and his eyes would be focused on you because he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman to walk the earth

Any other relationship you’ve had in the past does not even come close in comparison to how Kiri treats you

- He would give up his life to make sure you’re happy, seeing you upset breaks his heart because he cannot stand the sight of you crying. It literally tears a whole in his chest

- If it’s within his power to deal with, he will make sure that whoever hurts you does not make the same mistake again. Maybe its a little unethical to use his pro-hero status to strike fear into the heart of creeps who won’t leave you alone at work, or the girls who enjoy gossiping about your relationship behind your back but he does not give a single fuck

- Your happiness comes before his and if you aren’t happy, he’s not happy.

- If he hears people talking about your relationship and making it seem as though you’re only with him for the fame or money he’ll tear them down with the brightest smile on his face not missing a beat

- While he acts all big and scary fighting villains, when he comes home to you at the end of the day he is the most cuddly person you’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter how exhausted he is, he always grabs you in for a hug and doesn’t let you down until he’s satisfied.

- Kiri is really big on skin to skin contact, expect him to constantly be slipping his hands under your shirt and wrapping his arms around you at the most random times

- When you guys are getting ready to sleep he’ll pull you snug against his chest and bury his face in the nape of your neck,

Your scent helps him fall asleep, not in a creepy way but in a ‘you’re safe and here with me so i can close my eyes knowing that everything is okay’ kind of way.

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- In my humble opinion, once kiri catches feelings for you they’ll never fade

- Even if you fight, it only reminds him of everything you two have built together and that you’re worth fighting for

- You hear a lot of your friends complain about how their boyfriends never listen to them, or how they don’t know what they like, you watch them shamelessly flirt with other guys and wonder what it must be like to be in such an unsatisfying relationship

- Kiri knows you better than you know yourself, he’s so in tune with you and your body that you don’t even need to ask him to do anything, he just knows

- He remembers little dates that most boyfriends dont, your first kiss, your first date, the first time he said “i love you” outloud

- He also is the first one to say it and it happens when you’re just hanging out in his room

- He’s known that he’s been in love with you for months but didnt want to say it too soon and have you freak out but after nearly six months in it’s driving him crazy not being able to tell you he loves you

- When he does your eyes glisten with tears and he freaks out thinking that he’s said too soon until you’re crushing him in a hug and tell him that you love him too

- When you’ve had a bad day at work or life is just becoming too stressful for you to deal with he puts everything else on hold to comfort you

- Makes you your favourite meal for dinner, gets your favourite show ready to watch after your shower and massages your feet while you snack on some ice cream for dessert

- Ever since you’d started dating Kiri had a habit of “accidentally” forgetting his hoodies at your place, spraying them with a bit of extra cologne while you were in another room

- He loved it when you wore his clothes, it filled him with a feeling he couldn’t quite describe but it solidified in his mind that you were his

- After almost four years of dating he knows that he can’t spend another second without you being his, forever

- He stays up all night looking at engagement rings but none of them are good enough for you so he does a little more research and finds a place that makes custom rings and has the date the first time he kissed you engraved on the inside of the ring

- He 100% cries the second he sees you walk down the aisle, if he thought you were beautiful before, there’s nothing else that compares to you on your wedding day

-  Everything else drowns out around him and the other thing that matters is you, sliding your rings onto each other fingers and sharing your tearful vows and then you’re pronounced husband and wife and his entire being is elated

- He kisses you with a passion and fervour you’ve never felt before, like he’s pouring his soul into the kiss , every promise he’s ever made and will make and all the things he can’t find the right words to say are transmitted