#happy tears this time though
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There's something so wonderful about being in love with your own story. You don't have to love the writing, the wording, the structure specifically, and you can find flaws in whatever way you want, but loving the concept, loving the fact that you're writing it and it exists in the world and you're just having fun with the process of creation - it's so delightfully freeing.
#my writing#*cries in writer*#happy tears this time though#even if no one else likes this fic I love it enough for a hundred people#so it works out#i so rarely allow myself to like my own work that it always takes me by surprise when i do
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I was today years old when I found out about the Binghe cameo in MDZS...
#BINGHE WHAT WERE YOU DOING#why were you at an inn crying over sqq#svsss#mdzs#help im in tears#i picture sqq leaving to go do something with sqh#but the day trip turned into a 3 day trip and now binghe is Not Happy#he could go chase after sqq but he doesn't want to intrude on Friend Time#even though shen qingqiu would be happy to see him#and so he can do nothing but sob at an inn u_u#if this wasn't enough there's lwj getting drunk in the bg
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BODY // GRAVE
#horror#body horror#gore#body dysphoria#grass draws#living in this kind of existence is the original horror#if I’m being real#i hope that I can stop feeling as though I need to tear through my skin one day.#I want to be born in a world that doesn’t try to step on your throat all the time and I want to be born into a world that#affords you grace. affords you patience and time.#the total loss of identity in the struggle to find it and I think sometimes that one day I’ll wake up and thinnk ‘I can’t go on’#but most days it feels like I don’t know how to do anything else#except persist meaninglessly#happy pride 🌈#LMAO
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Realized this while playing Birushana. Tomomori. You know.
#birushana#birushana rising flower of genpei#otome#wizardess heart#shall we date#blanking on what other morally controversial otome games ive played#but seriously that trope of “im lowkey obsessed with the heroine and even seeing the hate in her eyes as she looks at me is perfect.”#to “i would love to see what other expressions i could bring her to make-”#ALL the way to the final installment of “oh. when she smiles.. when shes happy.. and looks at me with such happiness?#that is the best expression she has ever made. she looks beautiful like that... everything else pales in comparison- no.#i actually dont care to see her tears or to have her look at me in anger ever again.“#and just. falling in love with her happiness and doing everything they can to make her smile and laugh among other things??#because they feel really good doing it??#sorry i know thats common with villain love interests but im REALLY a sucker for it okay i cant help it#but also no seriously what other games like this have i played again?? i havent played any of the villain routes in hakuouki yet#but i feel like this trope is probably in there so.#hakuouki#JUST THE LOOK OF SURPRISE ON THE LOVE INTEREST'S FACE WHEN THEY SEE THE PROTAG SMILE AT THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME#AFTER ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SHOWING FEAR OR HATE#I LOVE IT AAUUUGHHH#oh!! thats right!#steam prison#paradigm paradox#piofiore#BECAUSE YANG I FUVKING LOVE YANG EVEN THOUGH HES AWFUL UGH#even if tempest#ill tag that in here too bc Tyril was that way for a hot second in the beginning of his route/timeline when he was first meeting Anastasia#i definitely know theres more but damn#anyway#we support character development in this house
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I got word that Thomas and Guy-Man were at the Interstella 5555 screening in Paris today as it was happening and i had to excuse myself to the bathroom at work to cry a lil about it cnfnfjmdmdmd
#happy tears btw#or emotional tears i guess#just overwhelmed hahaha#helppppp#daft punk#thomas bangalter#guy manuel de homem christo#I hope they had a nice time#busy p was there too he introduced the film!!!!#t and gm didnt want any attention or press though and godbless#interstella 5555#wide release please please please
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im only 3 episodes into (live action) one piece but binks no sake will not leave my head. lmao
#the actual lyric track of this is tuned for once!! it sucked. i hate tuning#if i was like actually musically creative in any way i would make some banger shit fr#but instead i have to spend 2 hours looping the same 10 seconds of binks no sake on spotify to figure out the damn background music#anyway. back on that vocaloid grind (said shakily as though through tears)#there are 7 tracks to this and my janky ass stolen copy of vocaloid 4 was NOT happy about that. she crashed several times#vocaloid
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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GGS TEAM PAST!!!
#DUUUDE THIS WAS SO FUN#dreadful#veji#art#splatoon#splatoon 3#grand festival#grand fest splatoon#Man I shed like a few tears by the end of the reveal news thing#Like not out of sadness cause my team lost but just from the joy that all this happened and I was here for it.#I never got to experience splatoon 2’s final fest so I’ve waited 3 years for this and I’m…. Just so happy!#If you couldn’t tell from the colours in the drawing I’m team future btw#I laughed so hard seeing the results lol we got NOTHING#Oh and I guess I should put my reasoning for my pick of future#so here it is:#I picked it because the future scares me. But it’s gonna happen anyway so I might as well look forward to it#I can’t let myself worry about where I’ll end up and who I’ll be when I’m older#But I do need to keep looking forward#I also chose it cause of deep cut. Like that was a big factor in my choice#Their music shaped my tastes. I just love it so much#And sure the characters themselves aren’t as fleshed out as the other idols#But they still mean a lot to me as splatoon 3 is the game that got me into the franchise#Even though I played 2 before 3 could never fully enjoy it as I came too late#I missed every splatfest cause I got it a year before splat3#So I could never connect the way I did to 3#Hearing anarchy rainbow for the first time changed me man. I fell in love instantly. It just means so much.#As an autistic person I actually surprisingly don’t really stim that much. But hearing anarchy rainbow just… flipped a switch.#I couldn’t stop moving. Literally like DJ Octavio man. It was a crazy experience to just feel like I had to move.#to walk around or something. To wave and flap my arms. Copy their dances. It sounds a little weird and childish when it’s written down#But it’s true. Splatoon’s music showed me that my autistic stimming was something I should embrace.
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flashing colors & loud audio warning
remixed a dust dust curse animation meme on scratch ^_^
this is just so. billy core to me. hes miserable horray
code: YEET_THE_TIGER (scratch)
art: kitteqq
#brickbattler#billybloxxer#william billy bloxxer#bettybloxxer#bethany betty bloxxer#defaultguest#roblox#roblox fanart#roblox art#fanart#flashing#flashing lights#artists on tumblr#illustration#scratch#animation meme#crowpost#crowart#this frustrated me to nooo end i have so many bitter and painful things to say to this guy and this project#prject took like the whole day i mean in the span of 12 hours it was painful. also first introduction remix to scratch itself as a website#also messed up the first project and had to export inport everything into another remix project bc i messed up the code#and i didnt know how to evne fix that sooo back at it again. sigh#i hope this guy stays miserable forever in that sealed area#tagging his trio bc they appeared briefly btw lol#i got it done tho!!!! finally!! crossed off smth on my to do list at least so my future self can be happy#brief notes but like snzz his outfit is mostly teared up and gonna have to be restitched constantly#also that he would . keep his trios belongings... hat. or cape. or something.#its a shame that betty doesnt have any items to hold onto like how default does#betty and billly do wear the same outfit though. i wonder that if billy ever looks into his reflection and is reminded of betty every time
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it's finally the 24th here so happy birthday to the incredibly talented and charismatic Shinya <3
(rollerball gel pens, coloured pencils, water-based markers, flower petals)
#i just finished this drawing today (the 23rd as of writing this) and had to do most of it while i was riding as a car passenger#cuz i didn't have any other time to make progress on it tbh (this week has been so busy 😩)#suffice to say that gave me an extra challenge so i'll blame all errors on that and not on my habitual struggle to capture shinya's feature#fr though i need to draw him more often so i can actually get better at capturing his likeness#it'd been years since I'd used water-based markers but that's all I have on hand atm. trying not to tear the paper was a struggle 😭#happy birthday shinya#shinya#shinya dir en grey#dir en grey#metal#vkei#musician#fan art#fanart#art#traditional art#lisa's art#scheduled
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beaut 🐎 🍂
#new car!! but I’m mourning my old one#I’ve cried twice about it pls#sentimental to a fucking fault#everyone should start out with a used little car with a cd player she was so beat up but so loved#cars been there for the last six years through so many moments#happy and sad and tears loss and laughter#she held up and protected us through so much#so many deep talks and star watching and laughter in that car#so much damn food eaten in there (and spilled)#bared witness to a lot but she needed more work than I could do and it was time#I would’ve made my friend take her if I knew I would be this sad about it#it’ll get easier though just feels like a loss of a friend right now#they said she was going to auction not destroyed so maybe she'll be someone else's first car#new babe is badass she’s so beautiful#will fill her with memories too#she can’t ever replace her but I love her already and I’m excited for all the adventures we’ll see together#right in time for fall too#have to decorate her and put love into her like the other#idk how to act with a brand new car my other one had like 125000 miles like huh!#my radio didn’t even work (again)#| miss her little crusty ass!!!!!#here's to a new season though of change and growth and feeling safe out there 🖤🧿#(almost got a green one but it wasn’t the right shade in the sun) but she was pretttty#saw the most delicious green one with big olllll tires maybe in the future
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Live 'Be (Acoustic)' reaction:
#Hozier#Wasteland Baby!#Be (Acoustic)#I cannot be calm or coherent about this I woke up to see the vinyl and merch release and listened to Be#and WOW if I was shaking before I listened out of excitement#I am now trembling like a leaf. WEEPING real tears. my heart was racing. sobbing. nauseated. jumping up and down.#HOW am I supposed to go to work today and act normal??!!#Wasteland Baby! my beloved you will always be famous happy 5th anniversary to all those who celebrate <3 <3#for real though I am never going to emotionally recover from this#I mean “true to the time and the place you've been given”#“YOUR HEART IN THE WORLD AND A WORLD THERE WITHIN” !!!!!! Andrew?????
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOLIDER!!!!!
#screaming crying#i'm so glad it's jaheira and karlach who spoke up#that is their mom and their girlfriend. hello#what a beautiful moment#you have a birthday now!! 7 marpenoth baby!!!!#oc baelfire#i am. so emotionally attached to this durge#i stopped playing this save for a month bc i wanted to write fic of the night after they killed gortash#but i decided i'll just finish & take a lot of pictures#maybe screenrecord though it's laggy#just so i have references#i just have not had the brain power for any serious writing#but hopefully soon#god this line genuinely made me tear up. happy birthday soldier augh#what if baelfire was willing to die then#finally understanding karlach's choice to die in faerun rather than go back to the hells#& knowing that she won't have much more time left herself but maybe this is how it must be#they will die together and save baldurs gate in the process. and in death they will be free#but baelfire gets a second chance. why not karlach? she deserves it more#and what's the point of living if they can't spend the rest of their life with her#durge#the dark urge spoilers
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not me and my manager trauma bonding over mommy issues 💀💕 i love her aksksk oof i had to go smoke and Think after this one
i love when our one on ones are basically like lol i don't have much 2 talk about this wk and we get like 40m to hang n talk after getting work stuff out the way. she is such a sweetie and so fun (❁´◡`❁)
#i talked about my intro 2 adulthood and what it was like around before/when i left home and how my sis was just 10 when i left#so we never rly got to be close n i just started talking 2 her this year. but the last thing i told my mom was she lost her son forever#and that she better not fuck up with my sister - and she took it to heart fr which was Great for my sister.#she grew up v loved and supported and idk as the eldest u have complicated feelings being the experiment child.#and as an older sibling u are genuinely happy ur younger sibling has it so much better but there's this disconnect where u both have#Very very different feelings about ur mom and family in general ig. but it's from having lived different lives and idk.#she relates though 😔💕 oldest sibs rly b dealing w moms that tear them down then watch w bittersweet feelings that ur sibs get a better#life. my life itself is fine lol im kinda stoned (｡ﾉω＼｡) but like. a good loving childhood. support. community n never feeling like#there's Nothing for u here. she's turning 21 in December it's crazy how time flies. I'm glad she's doing good but I'm just thinking about#how we had Very different lives and stuff going on in our late teens 😮💨#bless my manager fr i'm glad we got to get into it !! 😹 i can see why i miss her when we don't get to meet for the week
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in my head i call boromir "babe" and faramir "poor lil fuckin meow meow" and i think this is my canon event
#lotr#lord of the rings#boromir#faramir#am i wrong though. those are like. their official titles /j#im sorry i don't know enough about faramir i've been head over heels/stupidly in love with his brother for almost half a year#(that's crazy)#but they both deserve the world#let them be happy PLEASE#anyway im still in tears over the osgiliath flashback can you tell#but at the same time if you crank up your volume you can hear me yelling “FUCK OFF DENETHOR GODDAMNIT”
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I was thinking about how hug-y opla luffy is and I realised that if you strictly consider instances in which he meant to hug someone and not just hold them (so take out every single time he's picked up someone and either lugged them around or flung them across a battlefield) in the manga he hasn't actually hugged that many people at all, has he
#off the top of my head i can remember#chopper right after the second round of the davy back fight#chopper flings himself at him and luffy goes through the whole talk with foxy after while hugging him#it's SUPER cute and also I'm pretty sure the first time luffy hugs anyone in the manga after shanks loses an arm for him#ace. we all know when.#sabo! when he finds out he's still alive!!!!#and zoro when they meet back up in wano#not to zolu but that's the only hug luffy starts himsef that doesn't involve copious amounts of tears#he's just extremely happy to see zoro !!!!!! can't blame him I'd be as well#these are genuinely the only times i can remember him hugging someone in the whole 106 volumes of manga?#though i had forgotten about the chopper one until i reread that arc so maybe there's more I'm forgetting#ah allow me to zolu again but isn't that amazing that oda obviously doesn't think about hugs as something luffy would do casually#but still drew luffy fling himself at zoro on sight after a few weeks of separation#ah#AHHH#anyway yes very interesting#you'd assume with that personality luffy would be hugging people more often and yet#that said a lot of people hug luffy while luffy just lets them hang off him and goes about his way#so he IS pretty casual about hugs#he just doesn't start them or partake in them a lot#i had never realized honestly#very very inchresting#coming back to this a trillion years later to add that he hugs von chan in impel down!!!!#extremely important so let's jot that down
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