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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

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An Introduction to Heroes and Monsters

Summary: Y/N is about to learn what goes bump in the night, and just who bumps them back.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: None really. Kissing, brief making out. Brief show level violence. Descriptions and discussion of going into shock. Soft!Dean, Comforting!Dean, Some stressful/tragic situations. (No MC deaths.)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 3, 518

A/N: So, I’ve decided to do all 30 of these writing prompts. I may miss a day here and there, but I’m going to try to do one a day, and I will be completing all 30 no matter what. They won’t always be in order. This fic will be for the prompt: Write about a girl's night.

Hope you enjoy! I will be putting together a Masterlist for all 30 prompts and adding it to my main Masterlist.

A/N 2: K, this is a prequel to my very first prompt story:

First Time for Everything

I got quite a bit of feedback from that story asking for more with them, to find out how they met, and then some fics showing more of Y/N's "firsts" with Dean. So, I'm planning on doing that. This one is the prequel of how they met. Hope you enjoy it! Sequels will be forthcoming.

Both beautiful text dividers, both below and at the bottom, were created by @talesmaniac89.

Sitting on the couch, cuddled up next to Dean as he scanned through Netflix for something to watch, Y/N found herself looking up at his profile and marveling at what a difference a year could make.

It had been just over a year ago that her life had changed, just over a year ago that she met the man beside her and started down the road that would lead her into his arms.

It had started with a bachelorette party.

***

"Oh, holy shit, ladies! Don't look now but two of the hottest men I've ever seen just walked through the door."

Trisha's warning not to look, of course made the other five women simultaneously turn their heads to stare at the door. A collective gasp confirmed that the two men entering were, in fact, incredibly fine.

Y/N felt her mouth pop open as she watched the two strikingly tall, beautiful men stride towards the bar.

Holy smokes, did guys really look like that in real life?

The table of women, here for Trisha's bachelorette party, immediately turned into giggling but crass middle-schoolers. They began debating which of the men was hotter, and what their most remarkable attributes were.

"I wanna climb the taller guy like a fucking tree." Lydia said. "And look at his hair! It would be perfect for tugging on while he goes down on you."

But Franny was shaking her head. "No, the other guy gives me major, 'Fuck me, Daddy' vibes. I'd do WHATEVER he told me to do."

They all laughed and Y/N laughed along, pretending she knew what all the other women were talking about as they slipped into a conversation about sex in general, comparing notes.

At twenty years old, she was still a virgin, even more embarrassing, she'd never even been kissed. It was the very last thing she wanted to admit to this group of confident women while they discussed good and bad sexual positions.

She knew them all from work at the Red Door Diner, but she was the newbie to the group, so she didn't know them well. She was just very grateful to be included and was trying not to come off as completely naïve and boring.

She was still relatively new to all of this. Growing up in an incredibly strict, religious household, meant that she was very sheltered and knew next to nothing about sex - or about dating and men for that matter.

But she was trying to learn.

It had been very scary to leave home last year, against her parents wishes. They'd warned her that if she left, she'd be on her own, and she wouldn't be welcome back under their roof.

But Y/N could no longer take the stifling oppression and miserable life that awaited her if she'd stayed. So, she left, with barely the clothes on her back as possessions.

Her mother and father had kept to their word and she hadn't spoken to them for more than a year. She was happy on her own, but it did get lonely.

So, she'd been very grateful when Trisha had kind of taken her under her wing at work and then invited her out with them tonight. She said all she wanted for her bachelorette party was just a fun girl's night and Y/N wasn't a hundred percent sure what all that would entail.

But so far it was a lot of fun. She mostly just stayed quiet and nodded along to the references she didn't understand, trying to absorb everything around her.

While the rest of the group were two or three martinis in, Y/N still couldn't drink. She had a stamp on the back of her hand to warn the bartenders not to serve her.

But she'd never had a drink before, so she didn't really mind sitting out of the drinking games and staying sober.

The women had returned to the subject of the two hot guys sipping beers barely twenty feet away.

"For me, it's his ass." Sylvia was saying, as Y/N tuned back into the conversation. Sylvia nodded towards the shorter of the two men and let out a long groan. "Just imagine grabbing onto that thick, juicy backside while he's balls deep..."

She trailed off, clearly lost in her own imagined scenario. The other women groaned in commisseration.

Trisha leaned over to Y/N and gave her shoulders a squeeze. "What about you, sweetie. Which sexy stud do you prefer, and why?"

Y/N felt herself flush under the friendly scrutiny of the other women. She shrugged. "I don't know. They're both really good looking."

The women weren't about to let her give a cop out answer, and they cajoled her and teased her until she was laughing and covering her ears.

"Okay!" She called out, caving under the pressure. "I like the one with the short hair because..."

But the truth was she couldn't pick one thing. She liked the curve of his smile, and the broad set of his shoulders. She loved the way he talked with his hands and the way his face was so animated while talking with his companion. She found something comforting in the size of his massive hands, like they'd keep her safe. There was just something about the way he held himself, tall and strong, like he'd act as a bulwark against all the bad things. He seemed steady and reliable.

The thoughts were silly and ridiculous to project onto a guy she hadn't spoken a word to, but everything in her life was so unsteady and unsure these days, maybe she just liked the idea of someone covering her in safety.

But she couldn't say any of this to the boisterous group so she just shrugged again and spoke quietly. "He has a nice smile."

To their credit, none of the women teased Y/N for her somewhat vanilla answer. They all agreed that yes, he definitely had a beautiful smile.

Y/N smiled at all of them. Tonight was awesome.

But the night was just starting.

Eventually, about an hour later, the two men left the bar together and the women lamented the loss of their eye candy, but continued to laugh together, telling stories about terrible customers and bitching about the chauvinist cook that worked with them. By the time they called it a night, Y/N was exhausted, but very pleasantly so.

Trisha asked if Y/N could drive her home in her own car. She hadn't had as much to drink as the others, but she didn't want to take any chances.

"Just crash at my place and I'll drive you home tomorrow morning." She suggested to Y/N.

Y/N agreed and they made sure all the other women had been sent away in taxis before they began to make their way to where Trisha was parked, a little ways away from the bar, down a side street.

As the women approached the car, something flipped over in Y/N's stomach, a sixth sense that likely saved her life.

Because when the monster attacked from nowhere, she quickly dodged right, out of some inborn instinct, jumping out of its path. Trisha did not have the same instinct and in seconds the monster tore into her throat.

The evil thing looked up at Y/N where she stood silent and frozen. It was the sight of its face, wormy with veins, it's weathered-looking skin dripping with Trisha's blood, that started Y/N's screams.

She backed away and tried to run, but in seconds he was pouncing on her. He knocked her down and rolled her onto her back. She screamed again as his bloodshot, inhuman eyes raked over her.

His black, rotted mouth was just going for her throat when he suddenly let out a scream of agony and burst into flames. A half second later he was ripped off of her, thankfully before he could catch her on fire.

She watched his grotesque, screaming body flail around on fire for a few seconds before he fell, charred and burnt, onto the street.

The silence that followed was all consuming and Y/N began to see black edges around her vision.

Just before she passed out, she looked up to see the two gorgeous men from the bar standing over her.

She gave a small, out of place chuckle.

"Hey, I know you." She mumbled before the world went black around her.

When she woke up, the first thing she noticed was the smell of leather, and it was a homey, comforting scent that momentarily staved off the terror just waiting for her to open her eyes.

When she did eventually open her eyes, she realized she was lying in the backseat of a car and she sat up quickly, desperately hoping she'd been dreaming. But when she looked out the open door of the car she saw the two men about thirty feet away, digging a hole in the ground.

They were in a wooded area, somewhere far from the street where Trisha had parked.

Trisha.

When the thought of her friend came to mind Y/N gasped loudly, remembering in horror, the way the monster had immediately ripped into her.

Both men looked in her direction. The short-haired one patted the other on the shoulder and climbed out of the hole they were in.

As he approached the car, Y/N swung her legs out of the door, considering whether or not to run. But she wasn't sure her legs would support her.

Seeming to read her mind, the guy put up his hands, palms out towards her. He stopped three or four feet from her and got down on his haunches.

"Hey sweetheart, it's okay, you're safe."

He put one hand on his chest. "My name is Dean." He thumbed back towards the other guy still digging the hole. "That's my brother, Sam. What's your name?"

Y/N struggled to understand what he was saying. It was as though he was speaking a foreign language that she had to translate in her mind before she could respond.

"Y/N." She finally croaked out.

He smiled gently and she was reminded that he really did have a beautiful smile. "Hey, Y/N. You need to know you're safe now. I promise."

Y/N frowned as she looked over Dean's shoulder. Then tears came to her eyes as she asked a question she already knew the answer to.

"Trisha?" She asked him anyway, tears clogging her throat.

Dean glanced to the side briefly, before looking back at her. He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

The tears overtook her and Y/N buried her face in her hands. The truth felt as though it was burning a hole in her mind. Something icy began to seep into her bones and she started shaking uncontrollably, her stomach lurching.

"Shit." She heard Dean curse quietly and then she felt him come closer. When she pulled her head up from her hands it was to see him wrapping his black denim jacket around her shoulders.

She looked up at him through teary eyes. "Thank you." She whispered, just before she bent forward and threw up on his boots.

Dean jumped back a bit and she was mortified. "I'm so sorry." She muttered, her voice tiny and pitiful.

But Dean waved away her concern. "Don't worry about it, kiddo. I've been covered in a lot worse over the years."

He moved to the trunk and came back with a cold bottle of water which he handed to her, getting back down on his haunches. Y/N took small, sputtering sips, it felt like a lot to try and swallow; she had no breath.

Dean took the bottle out of her hand and set it down. He took both her hands and sandwiched them between his. He caught her gaze and stared deeply into her eyes.

"Y/N, you're going into shock. Now I need you to focus on something, okay, and breathe."

She shook her head, she couldn't focus, the world was spinning completely out of control. There were monsters lurking around in the dark? For real? No, it wasn't possible! And how could she breathe when the air was so thin?

But Dean was nodding at her. "Come on now, kid. Look, do it with me, okay. Just in," he breathed in deeply. "And out."

He repeated the action, encouraging her to try and do it with him. She finally managed to suck in a breath and then let it go. The next breath came a little easier, then another and another. Soon she was breathing normally again, although her mind still reeled and she was still shaky.

"Good girl." Dean praised, squeezing her hands between his. She remembered feeling like they were hands that would keep her safe. She was suddenly marveling at how prescient her thoughts had been. It was Dean who'd set the monster on fire, Dean who'd ripped it off of her body.

And now, it was his hands that were soothing her, steadying her, acting as a bulwark against the panic and terror that wanted to take over her mind.

She looked at his beautiful face and took comfort in the absolute calm she found there.

Then his brow crinkled slightly. "Hey, what did you mean when you said you knew us?"

It took Y/N a minute to remember what she'd mumbled when she first saw them, just before she passed out.

She answered automatically without thinking. "Oh, we saw you in the bar earlier. We were ogling you both and each deciding which one we liked more."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and a surprised smile curled up the corners of his lips.

She closed her eyes as it registered in her mind what she just said. "Sorry, that was probably rude."

He chuckled softly and tilted his head. "Well, it just depends...who'd you pick?"

She surprised herself by smiling slightly. "I picked you."

Dean's answering smile was wide and sweet. "Well then, it's just fine, sweetheart."

After a moment's silence, Y/N shook her head, desperately trying to make any of it make sense in her mind.

"What was that thing?" She asked Dean.

He licked his lips and looked at the ground for a minute before capturing her gaze again.

"It was a rugaru."

For the next fifteen minutes, Dean explained that monsters were in fact, very real. He told her that he and Sam were hunters and they tracked down and killed evil things. He assured her that the likelihood of her ever encountering another monster was very small. He explained that most people would never come in contact with a monster in their entire life, so the chance of it happening to her twice, was incredibly slim.

But she couldn't help but hear what he wasn't saying; it was unlikely, but not impossible.

He took his time, explaining things to her, speaking slowly and making sure she was able to keep up with what he was telling her. She nodded along, accepting what he was saying simply because she had no other option. What else could she do but believe?

Finally, Dean gave her hands one last squeeze and then stood up. "I'm just gonna finish helping, Sam. Drink your water and close your eyes. I'll be back right away." He said and strode quickly back to where Sam was standing.

The brothers finished up their work, and packed up the car. Dean got Y/N's address, and tucked her into the backseat with her water bottle, still wrapped up in his warm jacket. She wasn't sure whether she dozed off a little or whether her exhausted mind simply zoned out, but before she knew it they were at her place.

Dean helped her out of the car and walked her to her apartment. Her building was more like a motel than an apartment complex. Her place was just a tiny bachelor suite; the living room, bedroom, and kitchen were all one room, with a separate bathroom. It was all she could afford.

She took her key out and tried to fit it into the lock, but her hands were still shaking too badly to manage it.

"Here." Dean said gently as he took the key from her and slid it easily home. He pushed the door open and went in ahead of her. She followed him meekly into her own home.

She stood frozen just inside the door while Dean flipped on all the lights and then walked silently through her tiny apartment disappearing into the bathroom for a moment. He came out and opened her few kitchen cupboards, looking through them, before he finally came back to the entrance and looked inside her small coat closet.

Finally he nodded and turned back to her. "Everything's good, kiddo. Nothing lurking."

He was quiet for a second and then took hold of her chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"Hey." He said to pull her attention to him. When she was looking into his eyes he continued.

"Sam and I are going to take care of everything with Trisha. Notifying her family, all of that. We're going to say that you were both attacked by some random animal, but you got away. So, I highly suggest you take some time off of work to try and heal."

Y/N nodded, still fairly dazed by it all and hoping she'd wake up soon.

"Give me your phone." Dean ordered and she handed it over without question. Maybe it was still the shock coursing through her body, but she trusted Dean implicitly.

Actually, she thought, I trusted him before I even met him.

Dean passed the phone back to her and pointed to two new contacts he'd added: Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester.

"Winchester." She said quietly.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that's us. Now I want you to promise you'll call if you need anything, okay? And I mean it, anything. We live just up in Lebanon, and I can be here in an hour. Okay?"

Y/N nodded, but that wasn't enough for Dean. "Promise me."

Y/N gave a small smile, inexplicably moved by this relative stranger's obvious concern.

"I promise."

Dean nodded and then squeezed her hand one last time. "Take care, kid. Be safe."

She nodded again and he left. As the door closed she realized she'd forgotten something. She turned back to the door and wrenched it open.

"Dean!" She called to him. His long strides had already brought him halfway back to his car, but he turned around and walked back to her.

"I forgot to...I forgot to say thank you for saving my life." She said as she pulled his jacket off of her shoulders. "And I forgot to give this back to you."

Dean took the jacket and shrugged it back onto his shoulders. She shivered slightly without his borrowed warmth. He ran his palms up and down her upper arms.

"No problem, sweetheart. Now go back inside before you freeze to death."

Y/N nodded shyly as he dropped his hands, and she dashed back inside. Shortly after closing the door, she heard the rumbling engine start up and then drive away.

She looked down at her phone and Dean's name. She wasn't going to call him, she was sure. She was probably never going to see him again, she'd just push tonight behind her like a bad dream.

***

As it turned out, however, fate had other plans for her, and barely a year later, her whole life had changed because of Dean Winchester and her introduction to heroes and monsters.

Her little bachelor suite was gone; home was the bunker now. Gone too were her days of pouring coffee and collecting tips. She was a full-fledged hunter now.

She continued to look up at Dean's profile as she sat beside him and finally he looked down at her with a questioning smile.

"Hey, kid. You good?"

Y/N smiled widely, amazed by her answer.

"So good." She said and pulled him close, kissing him softly and melting as he deepened it, tongue sweeping across her lips. She moaned softly and opened for him immediately.

He pulled her into his lap so he had better access to her lips and then her throat and then the delicate skin just below her collarbone where he sucked bruises into her skin.

He pushed his hand up under her shirt and grasped her breast.

Y/N gasped in surprise; it was the first time he'd touched her like that.

He pulled back, and his jaw was clenched tightly as she ran her fingernails through his stubble, loving the raspy sound it made.

"Sorry," he said hoarsely, "got a bit carried away."

He kissed the tip of her nose and leaned his forehead against hers.

She was breathing rough as she kissed him again, fast and hard before pulling away and asking him to continue. "Think you could get carried away again?"

His eyes were dark with lust and they made her shiver. "Are you sure?"

"Completely." She said and then leaned up to whisper in his ear. "I'm more than ready to share another first with you, Dean Winchester."

NEW TAGS:

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#30 days writing challenge #dean x y/n #dean x reader #dean winchester fan fiction #spn fan fiction

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mtdthoughts · 3 months

Text

The Twins' Relationship Pt. 10 (Migi & Dali Analysis)

This is Part 10 of the discussion of the twins' relationship and its evolution throughout the story.

Click here to return to the top of the thread (Part 1)

Note that I will use scenes from both the anime and manga wherever I see fit, and of course spoilers are discussed.

This post will be about Episode 10, where Migi's strengths really begin to shine.

After the twins returned to find out they were wanted by the police, they agreed to expose the Ichijos, though Dali had a problem revealing themselves to Akiyama.

It's clear that Migi has changed compared to the start of the story, because he was able to accept love from the Sonoyamas and Akiyama, and now he wanted to help his brother experience this too.

Dali, on the other hand, struggled with this, because for the longest time he thought that he was strong and that he didn't need anybody, only to realize how painful his loneliness was after he almost lost Migi. Perhaps he felt ashamed (shown with his crossed arms?) that he didn't realize this sooner, and perhaps he felt bad for deceiving Akiyama for so long, maybe fearing that Akiyama wouldn't accept a deceitful boy like him. He knew that Akiyama could be trusted, but rather it was himself that couldn't be trusted.

Nonetheless, Migi was able to reassure his beloved brother that he would be accepted, and his warmth was able to help Dali (temporarily) overcome his (self-esteem) issues, which we'll see again later on in the story.

Then, when Maruta arrived, Dali hid again because he did not trust him (and neither did Migi), but after Maruta's desperate (but clever) Morse code trick, the twins finally had their team of trusted friends.

I do like how Migi compliments Dali when he's not around, which just confirms how he has always admired and looked up to his older brother.

I also like how the twins looked at each other with the same smile on their faces after seeing how Akiyama and Maruta accepted them. It just shows that even though the twins are very different, they are still very similar at a fundamental level, as they were happy to know that they were able to craft genuine companionship.

During the mission to infiltrate the Ichijo house, Migi saved Dali from falling by repeating the counterweight trick that they've used before.

I've already discussed this scene in my post titled "Proof of Growth", but in case you haven't read it, I've pointed out that through this courageous act of love repeated through his instincts, Migi has proven that he was determined never to lose Dali again, and that he was serious about fighting for his brother's happiness. Dali couldn't be happier to see how much his brother has grown compared to before, though he's unwilling to let go of his pride as the older brother by throwing a jab at Migi about his weight.

Later, the twins and Maruta plotted to take Eiji hostage to coerce Reiko to confess her crimes.

There's not much to say about this scene, but it just highlights the roles that the twins serve in a team, where Dali is the leader and strategist (i.e. the "brains"), while Migi is the supporter (i.e. the "heart") of the team.

Afterwards, the twins had a brief conversation on what to do with Eiji as they carried him away.

After being saved by Eiji twice, Migi understood that Eiji shouldn't be the target of their ire, and perhaps he wanted to convince Dali to forgive Eiji to avoid going down a dark path again.

But unlike Migi, Dali's resentment was more deeply-seated, as he blamed Eiji for their suffering. Still, he knew that Eiji saved Migi before, and he realized that seeking revenge almost caused him to lose everything that mattered to him. Thus, Dali was conflicted, which was why he asked Migi for his opinion (the only opinion that matters to him!).

Lastly, we get quite a funny interaction where Dali made a goofy face for the first and only time in the series.

It's clear that Dali is a lot more concerned about appearances than his brother (otherwise, why would he hate the mosquito costume?), as Migi had to plea with Dali in order to do something that Dali doesn't like. Surprisingly, Dali complied, and Migi was both shocked and happy to see that his usually dignified brother would humor his request by making such a stupid face. It's such a huge contrast to the early chapters where Migi had a fear of upsetting or disappointing Dali, and I think this interaction just shows how he was able to overcome this.

#migi and dali #migi to dali #analysis

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beyond-dusk · 1 year

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Paranormal Lockdown - S3E4

I figured since I've already done posts featuring Buzzfeed Unsolved and Ghost Adventures, I figured I would keep the ball rolling and find other shows that investigate Bobby Mackeys.

As a side note, to keep things brief I cherry pick the moments I can discuss using established facts. I don't like spending time making fun of people like this when they pretend to feel a ghost in the room, its just not worth it.

---

Oh my god! I looked for a picture of the rooftop to help identify the different additions to the buildings over the years but I couldn't find a good picture. I should have watched these ghost shows as a visual reference!

---

So it turns out that one of the men who was on the Ghost Adventures episode covering BM's is the host for Paranormal Lockdown. Not only that, it was the was the dude who said that a spirit that followed him home after the hunt ruined his marriage. Ghost Divorce.

---

I do want to thank this show for not bringing up satanism when they first introduce the story of Pearl Bryan. They did slip up by saying the murder followed a botched abortion, which Scott Jackson planned to do, but it never actually happened (the coroner made note that there was no trauma beyond her decapitation and cut hand, and that her baby was healthy when she died).

---

"But as Nick and Katrina dug deeper, they found that the facts of Pearl Bryan's death may conflict with the rumors."

Wait so they ACTUALLY did research? Is this going to be a nice post and not me getting angry over dumb satanic rumors???

---

So this nice looking gentleman is said to have done extensive research in to Pearl Bryan's murder and I'm already in love (intellectually, though if I was 40 years older...). They don't show much of what he says but now I'm determined to find a way to contact him to compare notes.

---

So they clearly establish that there is no factual basis for Pearl Bryan's head being thrown down the well! I only used that idea as part of the Dusk comic to give the story a short plot, but in reality it's very, very, VERY unlikely that her head ever entered that building. My personal theory is that Jackson threw it into the Licking River like he did with her luggage.

---

So during the clips of the Ghost Adventures episodes, Bobby Mackey mostly talked about what he's heard happened at the club but he says he doesn't believe in ghosts. Here, he seems to say that he heard rumors of the building being haunted all the way back when he bought the building in 1978. This is the first time I've heard this and I'm intrigued.

---

OH MY GOD THIS WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT PANEL IN THE COMIC. I NEED TO WATCH SHOWS LIKE THIS TO GET VISUALS

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Okay, so I did make fun of this guy for blaming ghosts on his divorce, but I have to give him credit that he climbed into the fucking well and looked around inside it. I don't believe its a portal to hell but damn, its unnerving.

---

So this show did much, MUCH better dealing with the facts. Instead of interviewing some asshat author who claims Scott Jackson was a satanist and killed Pearl Bryan as a sacrifice, they met a real historian and asked him about the case. I learned that there were already rumors of the building being haunted before Bobby Mackey took over and that makes me happy.

Nick Groff, I'm going to stop making fun of you for your ghost divorce. You went back and dispelled some of the rumors and I always give people who do that credit.

#bobby mackeys music world #paranormal lockdown #pearl bryan #ghost hunting #paranormal #haunting #true crime investigation

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opinated-user · 2 years

Note

About Lily’s talk on toh fandom racism. I guess Lily doesn't understand the root of the problem. People like white characters more because they have more dimension not because of race. Compare Amity's and Hunter's abusive families, their constant struggles and how many viewers can relate to it, to Luz who has... nice mom? And was bullyied but kinda wasn't we've never seen it? That's it. She's generic quirky girl. Her dad's death pops out literally one time and it's never mentioned after. Gus is boring, and Willow had potential but was forgotten. There's just so little to work with. Not even gonna talk about Eda and her family issues and parallels to chronic illness. So the main question is it truly wise to blame the fandom when the creators themselves don't give POC characters interesting conflicts, backgrounds or just some screen time ? ;)

i disagree on various points with you, anon, but i'll try to keep it as brief as possible: 1. the idea that abusive families=more relatable is inherently flawed by itself. if all you see when looking at luz noceda is a "generic quirky girl", that's is your opinion, but there's more to her than that, even more that what LO gives her credit for when she just wants her to be happy sapphic with no further issues. many kids can and do relate to her struggling to fit in, being the child of immigrants, living without one of their parents, wanting to scape to another world where she wouldn't be so different, but the show takes it one step further and tells us directly that life can't be solved as easy as that, that even if life is boring, mundane and not magical we still have to live with it. i could go on about how compelling i found the arc of her reconnecting with her mom only to realize what many children have to find out the hard way sooner or later: that her actions have consequences and those consequences can hurt people, just like it hurt her mom. but if you really want more insight into luz as a character, there are plenty of videos on youtube and i'm sure posts that could explained it better than i could. the same could be said about Willow slowly finding her way to grow from the shy girl of the first season into a brave leader or gus struggling with the pressure of being a child prodigy. LO is right that both of them could have been given more of a spotlight and actually deserved it because there is a lot of potential for the both of them, but she's wrong when she doesn't blame Disney for it and instead makes it the sole fault of the creator. 2. LO's actually right that there is racism in fandom... but not because hunter exist or teenage girls likes him, but because racism exist everywhere. it's a systematic issue that everyone is exposed to and can manifest in million different and insidious ways that sometimes aren't as easy as who loves more what character. she's wrong that everyone who likes hunter must do it for racist reasons, just like she was also wrong that people only liked reylo because racism. her own friend Carrousel ships huntlow herself so i assume that she must like hunter on some capacity. but as we have discussed before on this blog, LO doesn't know how to talk about systematic issues nor cares to. what she wants is to point fingers at someone and nothing else, be it to the creator that was treated unfairly by her employer but it's still her fault somehow, to the teenage girls having a crush on a fictional boy or any other group of people/individuals that she can point as the problem, one that we just need to get rid of to have everything turn out alright. all the while never even proposing a real solution herself. more people liking gus or skara won't solve racism in fandom. she putting down hunter constantly at every opportunity she has won't solve racism in fandom. it's doubtful that fandom even can solve the problem of it's own racism at all. but we do have alternatives that BIPOC fans have been trying out for years: blacktober, race bending, challenges, zines, hashtags, give more attention to POC creators, works of POC and spread the word about any of this initatives so more people can join in. LO already talks about how she never reads fanfiction (unless it's about Sylvannas, her favourite white undead character), she doesn't care about theories and it seems she only shares fanart she just happened to come across so of course she either doesn't know about any of them or doesn't care. she barely is on fandom for anything else that enjoy underage sapphic cute couples, there is no real motivation for her there. talking about how other people should like more POC characters more than white ones will never be enough. appreciating POC characters (only black in the case of LO) without dragging a white one too could be a fine start but it's just that if you don't then procede to try to give the spotlight to the actual real POC in fandom that have been ignored, when not harassed and mistreated because of not being white.

#lily orchard

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magicline · 2 years

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Yumekuro • Link (Rainbow-coloured Wedding Road) Sun Route Meister Story Translation Part 1/3

(A/N): It is recommended to read the story with in-game voiced lines ! Beware of spoilers and enjoy reading ^_^

⚠️ STRICTLY NO REPOSTS !

An Important Job.

Several days later—

The day of the wedding ceremony produced by Over The Rainbow guild has arrived, many officials had gathered in front of the cathedral.

Emma : Lagoon-san, Adel-san!

Link : Both of you, good work ♪ Were there any problems with the parade car and costumes?

Lagoon : Ah. I’ve done my final maintenance check, and I’m in a good mood.

Adel : There were no problems with the wedding outfits. Since those were made by me, it’s not going to be anything else but the best.

The tailor from a royal guild called Yume Tsumugi, Adel-san was in charge of making the bride and groom’s wedding outfits for the ceremony.

After we had a brief discussion about the ceremony, I left the both of them……

Link : Lagoon-san and Adel-san, seems like they did so many adjustments until the very last minute of the ceremony.

Link : I’m wondering, did I get a good night sleep last night?

Emma : In that case, I’m worried about Link’s well-being (if he did get enough sleep).

Emma : You were too focused while editing, you tend to forget to eat your meal and misses your bedtime.

Link : Ahaha… I know I have to be more aware, but eventually I lost track of time and I find myself fully immersed in it.

Link : Sometimes after I pulled an all-nighter working as a technician, I almost forgot to switch my hair colour.

Emma : The hair colour you’re wearing right now, it looks different compared to the colour you usually use for live-streaming. You look more matured now.

Link : Really? Plus you look different today.

Link : The hairstyle and the hair ornaments, they look good on you. So adorable!

Emma : ! Ah, thank you.

Link : Ah, I’m guessing the way of speaking is not really suitable?

Link : It’s not that you don’t look pretty in your usual style, it’s just that you look more beautiful when you’re wearing a different style……

Link : Hmm, how do I describe it?

Emma : You don’t have to think too hard about it, I fully understand what Link is trying to say…

??? : …Fufu

When I heard a giggle, I turned around and see Lady Dora in her beautiful gown with Anthony-san leaning onto her.

Anthony : I’m sorry. I wanted to say hello to Link and the others—

Dora : We accidentally heard your conversation… Both of you seem very close.

Link : Lady Dora, Anthony-san. Congratulations on your marriage.

Emma : Congratulations.

Anthony : Thank you very much. The video of wedding ceremony rehearsal, it was very helpful to us.

Dora : Thanks to you both, we had no problems during the ceremony.

Link : We are glad we could be of help.

Emma : Yeah, I’m glad we could help you on your important day.

Anthony : The couple looked so happy in the video, which, made me thought if I was watching a real wedding video.

Link • Emma : ……!

Link : Uh…. We are honoured. We’ll take care of today’s shooting too.

Link : We will capture the best moments in your life, so you will have memories you can cherish forever.

Link said while glancing over the piles of equipments he brought, that will be used for live-streaming.

Emma : The wedding video shoot that will be taken today, we will send it to you on a later date.

Link : You allowed us to broadcast the wedding ceremony Magic Line, so we want to thank you!

Link : As you can see, it is difficult to show everyone the whole process of the ceremony… I can assure you, there’s a lot of people wanting to watch the ceremony.

Anthony : Not to forget, thank you very much for your great suggestion. I look forward to working with you.

Dora : Also, I’m looking forward to the wedding video too.

Left with smiles on their faces, Anthony-san and Lady Dora proceed their way into the cathedral.

Emma : (To ensure there’s no defiencies, I’ve checked the equipments many times while we were at the apartment…)

Link • Emma : You know, Emma. / Hey, Link.

Link • Emma : ……

Link : It’s nothing… I was going to ask you if you could give the equipments a final check?

Emma : Well then, (is there anything else that concerns you) Link?

Link : Ahaha, I knew it!

Link : I’m well-prepared, so I’m confident enough that I won’t fail.

Link : It’s just that when the job you’re going to do involves someone’s important life experience, I get nervous.

Emma : Yeah, because making mistakes is not an option.

Link : Agreed. Let’s do our very best from now on, so we could prevent mistakes from happening ♪

To be continued…

(A/N): If there are misspellings, mistranslations etc. please let me know and excuse me. 🙏

Next chapter : Sun Route Part 2

#yumekuro #dream meister and the recollected black fairy #ymkr #yumekuro translations #ymkr translations #yumekuro link #ymkr link

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jyslifetimes · 1 month

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Yin & Young Podcast EP 71 Aileen Cho - Intergenerational Trauma, Marriage, and Healing

youtube

We’re so happy to have Aileen Cho, a licensed therapist based in the Southern California area, as our guest this episode! Aileen is a 2nd generation Korean-American clinician that offers psychotherapeutic services in both English and Korean. In this podcast (a first for Aileen) she shares her personal and professional insight into intergenerational trauma, marriage challenges, and the various ways she helps individuals to find their own way to heal.

Aileen’s website: https://www.aileenbcho.com/

Contact Aileen (currently not accepting new clients until Sept. 2024): [email protected]

Highlights:

00:00 James gives a brief intro of Aileen. They met at the Asian American Theater Festival at UCSD.

01:45 We do a check-in. Aileen is very pregnant.

04:25 Born in LA, her mother's family were North Korean refugees and shares a story about her paternal grandfather who was sold as a child slave to a Japanese family.

07:00 Discusses how she was born into intergenerational trauma due to her family’s history. She is the keeper of stories for her family.

09:45 Started off in acting and theater in college, while also going to therapy.

11:25 After college: Her shift to the mental health field and eventually getting her Master’s in Drama Therapy.

12:40 Intergenerational trauma:

Separation of North and South Korea.

The way we rear children is influenced by our own trauma.

16:00 Advice to young people deciding about whether to go to therapy.

20:20 How were your first steps into therapy?

23:11 Finds that Korean American therapists are rare in her field and overall there’s a dearth of Asian American therapists.

25:25 More Asian Americans are going into clinical practice as well as seeking therapy. Most of her clients are now Asian Americans.

28:27 Mental health issues particular to Asian Americans.

31:55 Aileen’s Time Capsule Theory in regards to immigrants and the children of immigrants.

36:10 How to get boomer parents into family therapy.

37:35 How has being a therapist and going to therapy affected your own relationships?

40:50 Challenges with married life.

48:05 Communication issues with couples.

49:50 In the current social climate, the pressures of expectations of marriage has never been higher. Recommends Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.

57:27 Collective grief and drama therapy.

What do you to stay balanced? (59:40)

Language corner （01:02:27):

Circumstances that bring people meant for each other together; destiny; connection.

Mandarin: 緣分 (yuánfèn)

Korean: 인연 (inyeon)

Empathy*

Korean: 공감 (gong-gam). From the hanja 共感, gung6gam2 in Cantonese, gònggǎn in Mandarin.

*Aileen shares that the word “empathy” comes from the Greek words “in” (em) and “feeling” (pathos). Compare this to Korean, empathy = 공감, which is “communal" (공/共) + “feeling” (감/感). Shows individualistic vs collectivist cultural differences in the languages.

01:09:17 Aileen and her husband have inherited her mom’s secret kimchi recipe.

———

Follow and connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, Youtube: @yinyoungpodcast

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Like/comment to helps others find our work! Yin & Young is produced by James Y. Shih and Daniel Yin. Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/yinyoungpodcast

Email: [email protected]

#yin young podcast #podcasts #language #Therapy #drama #theatre #trauma #relationships #marriage #psychotherapy

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soliloquyepistolary · 2 years

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Something inside me is still beholden to you. I can’t help but reveal myself. I have been subconsciously comparing everyone I’ve met since you, to you. I have had long, deep discussions with many people but no one leaves an impact like you do, however brief our conversations are. I can’t help but feel a little guilty for what I am creating but if I detested it so much I would place my focus elsewhere and be done with it. But it is not done. Something needs to play out. It feels like it’s time to go home.

Reality is so fluid. When I had that dream of JD this week, I went to the campus library to do assignments in the morning because there was no class and he came up t me and sat right next to me. He didn’t need to, since he had his own laptop with him and it’s not like we had any real foundation of acquaintance that would necessarily prompt this behaviour. We then proceeded to chat a little and help each other out with assignments and it was nice.

Also over the past few weeks, for some reason a female customer kept coming to mind but I had forgotten her name. I knew it started with an N. It weirdly annoyed me that I didn’t know her name, I wanted to test my memory I guess and in random moments I would keep trying to guess it. Then on my first day back at work, she actually shows up toward the end and she was the only customer of the day who I had a proper conversation with, who remembered me and seemed happy to see me. She knew I hadn’t had the vaccine and expressed that she was also skeptical about it. Then a little altercation happened with disgruntled member of the public who interrupted our conversation and I don’t think the timing of it was an accident. Now I see why I had those dreams of speaking out in 3D when I don’t agree with something. Did I come back to do a life review regarding standing up for myself and others? But wasn’t I doing that anyway?

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downeypike7 · 2 years

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whisker-biscuit · 3 years

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The Birds, The Bees, and The Bottles

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T for mild language and discussions of underage drinking

Summary: Two teens are caught trying to sneak into a bar. Bob finally has a conversation he’s held off for far too long.

Because herbaphony is not the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family.

-------------------------------------

Bob’s phone rang at two in the morning. Judging by the jolly ringtone of Helmut singing Strawberry Fields Forever, it was his personal phone instead of his work one, and that was the real tip off to things being very, very wrong.

He woke up and groggily pulled out of his still-slumbering-husband’s arms to answer the little thing going off on his nightstand.

“H’lo?”

“Bob!” Truman’s voice came out far too loud for the time of night, and far too stressed. “Bob, I’m so sorry to wake you, but something happened with Lili. I need you to pick her up for me, please.”

The older man sat up, much more awake as worry and fear immediately rolled in his gut. Helmut finally began to stir beside him, sensing his partner’s agitation.

“Truman, what’s going on? Pick Lili up from where?”

“The city’s police precinct on Abbey Avenue. She – she called me, but I’m out of state and I wouldn’t get there for hours at least even if I left this instant. She’s not in danger!” He added hastily, hearing the concern before Bob could even voice it mentally. “She didn’t get hurt! She’s just…”

The way he tapered off, the way he hesitated, said more than words could.

“She just got herself into some trouble, and she needs someone to go get her.”

Helmut was sitting up now, and Bob felt the question cross their mental link.

What happened?

Truman needs me to pick Lili up from the police station.

“I’m up, I’m on my way right now,” He responded to his nephew verbally, heaving himself out of bed. His husband followed suit despite still looking extremely puzzled, bless him.

“Thank you so much, Bob. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The older man waved a dismissive hand even though Truman wasn’t there to see it. “Family is s’pposed to do that for each other anyway.”

“Did I hear that right? Our peppy petunia had a run-in with the law?” Helmut asked as soon as his partner hung up. He paused, and in a lower tone – “she didn’t kill anyone, did she?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious,” Bob said, pulling a coat on over his sleep shirt. “But something tells me we still have a few things to worry about. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Ohohoh, no, don’t even think about hoofin’ it without me. We both know I’m the better driver.”

“Neither of us are very good drivers, Helmut.”

“Exactly! That little bit makes all the difference!”

The herbophanist sighed, charmed despite himself and the situation. “Alright, alright. Let’s not keep her waiting.”

The police precinct was nearly dead at this time of night. While it would’ve felt eerie to anyone else, Bob was grateful for the lack of people, and not just because he was still an introvert of the highest degree.

Two teenagers awaited them in the lobby, sitting on a bench together. One was hunched over and burning a hole in the ground with his downcast eyes. The other sat straight up, defiant, holding a glaring contest with the officer standing over them. When Bob entered the room first and met his great-niece’s eyes, her self-assuredness wavered for a brief moment. She hid the slip-up behind a wall of indifference.

“Lili,” he said softly. Then, just as softly but with a gruff tinge of surprise; “Razputin.”

There was no accusation in his voice, but the former scowled harder and the latter looked like he wanted to employ his invisibility. Bob studied them both a moment before his husband appeared and broke the tension with his mere presence.

“We’re here to bust you out, kiddos!” He announced with spread arms, cheerfully ignoring the looks he received from every person in the room.

“Are you Truman Zanotto?” Asked the officer who finally broke his gaze away from Lili to give them a disapproving once-over.

“No, I’m uh, I’m Bob Zanotto, and this is Helmut,” came the awkward reply. “Truman called me to pick Lili up. She’s my great-niece.”

A few seconds of silence passed as the officer made no move to do anything with that information. Bob cleared his throat.

“We’re, uh, listed in her emergency contacts for school?”

“I see. If you can just fill out some paperwork first, we can release her into your custody.”

The herbophanist watched the way Raz seemed to sink further in his seat at the mention of family contacts. The Aquatos were also out of state right now too, if he remembered correctly. Perfect timing for two minors getting up to mischief.

Well, up until they were actually caught.

“And…Razputin, too?” He asked, catching the teen’s startled gaze and giving him the mental equivalent of a thumbs-up.

The officer raised a brow. “Is he related to you, too?”

“Well, uh –”

“Yep!” Helmut interrupted, strolling right up to Raz and giving him a merry clap on the back. The teen had a physique comparable to most adult Olympic athletes, but even he nearly toppled forward from the force of such a big man. “He’s my third cousin, twice removed. Big family. Very close. Holidays are an experience, lemme tell ya!”

“Fine,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, okay, I’ll make sure he gets cleared for release too. I’ll be right back.”

He stalked off, muttering something about it ‘being too damn early for this’, and the older couple turned to face Raz and Lili. Helmut steepled his fingers together to rest against his mustache.

“So! Now that Officer Spoil-Sport is gone, are we allowed to know what heinous crime has been committed in the night by my favorite pair of mischief-makers?”

The two glanced at each other. Raz was the one to break their silence.

“We, uh…got caught sneaking into a bar.”

Cold heat rushed through Bob’s core. Helmut blinked once, twice, then let out a boisterous chuckle.

“That’s it? Jesus! From the way you two were acting I thought you’d robbed the First National Bank.”

“…Helmut.” His husband murmured. The psi-king lost his mirth as he caught Bob’s eye.

“Ah…w-well, y’know, while I’m certainly glad we won’t hear about a righteous homicide in the news tomorrow, forgery ain’t exactly a humble hobby either.”

“It was just two IDs,” Lili muttered under her breath. “Not a big deal.”

The ice in her great-uncle’s heart turned frigid, but before he or Helmut could say anything to that, the officer was back. He shoved a handful of forms under Bob’s nose and the herbophanist fumbled to grab them before they all tumbled to the floor.

“Uh, uh, thank you.”

“Alright, we’re putting the pause on this conversation to make you free citizens again, but don’t think that means we’re done with it.” The Psi-King gave the teens the sternest look he could manage. “As soon as we get in the car, you two will have a lot of explaining to do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Uh-huh.”

------------------------------------

No one spoke a word as they got in the car and started the drive back.

Raz seemed content to continue his efforts to blend in with the background of his seat, still not meeting anyone’s eyes, and Lili stared out the window with her chin in her hand, leaning against the car’s backdoor and letting the lights of the city bathe her in neon sickness.

Helmut, bless his soul, dutifully kept the radio going while he drove, changing the station to something more mellow whenever a song started getting a little too upbeat for the collective mood of the vehicle. Bob sat in the passenger side with his arms folded awkwardly. His brain was buzzing, dreading the inevitable conversation he needed to have with his great-niece and trying to figure out how he was going to go about it.

It surprised them all when Raz spoke over the music.

“It was my idea.”

The two adults glanced at each other, then through the rearview mirror at the fidgeting teen.

“Your idea to go looking for a drink? Or to sneak into a bar to do it?” Helmut asked, turning off the radio.

“Both.”

He still wasn’t meeting their eyes. Bob sighed through his nose.

“I don’t believe you.”

Razputin’s head finally snapped up to stare at him in shock for the fast call on his bluff. “I’m telling the truth!”

“I think you’re only telling part of it, kid.”

“No! I’m telling all of it.”

“Razpu-”

“Oh, come off it, Raz,” Lili snapped a little too loud, making the whole car jump. “Quit trying to take the fall for me. It was my idea to try the stupid fake ID thing, okay? Happy now?”

“Wh – uh, who said anything about being happy about it?” Helmut asked, legitimately confused.

“Look. Neither of us had anything to do tonight, and we were bored, so Raz suggested getting a drink somewhere, but Adam and Lizzie are out of town so we couldn’t ask them.” She crossed her arms and spoke without any inflection. “So, we went out but no one would let us do anything cause we’re minors. I thought that was stupid, because we’re agents same as any of you, so I came up with the sneaking-in part. We only got caught cause one of the bartenders recognized Raz from a show.”

There were a lot of loaded things to parse through from that explanation, but Bob’s mind stalled on one particular detail.

“Adam and Lizzie give you two alcohol?”

“Not…often,” Raz admitted. “Just once or twice, when we asked.”

“Do you mean like, a literal once or twice, or a…an estimated once or twice?”

“Did Dad put you up to this?” Lili shot back. “It was just a few times, like he said. What’s with the inquisition?”

“…Lili –”

“Raz.”

“Okay!” Helmut proclaimed as he slapped his hand against the steering wheel in boisterous aggression. “Who wants some ice cream?”

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Cause I’m really feeling some chocolate-vanilla swirl right now. Basic bitch style. Right? Who’s with me?”

Silence.

“Great! Look at that, open Dairy King right there, better take advantage of this opportunity before it slips through our fingers like the melting ice cream we’re all gonna have in about five minutes!”

The psi-king swung into the parking lot in a frenzy and herded the car crew inside before any of them could come out of their shock long enough to protest. It was only as Bob was staring up at fifteen flavors of oversaturated sugary goodness that he realized what had just happened.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief over his husband’s diversion. The tension that had been boiling over was cooled significantly by the sudden non-sequitur, and while the teens were rather half-hearted about picking out their sweet treats, there was no longer a risk of an explosion happening.

Metaphorically and literally.

Helmut caught his spouse’s eye with a meaningful look at Lili the moment all of them had their orders in hand, then slung his arm around Razputin’s shoulders and steered him away. “C’mon my lad! Nothing like the cool night air of three in the morning to keep your Hurricane ™ properly chilled!”

The poor boy had no choice but to let himself be pulled outside, leaving the two Zanottos standing awkwardly in the dingy restaurant. Bob gave a nervous scratch at his chin under his beard.

“How about we, uh, find a seat somewhere?”

Lili couldn’t fully cross her arms while holding ice cream, but she did a good job of making it work anyway. “Sure.”

They sat in a booth in the farthest corner from the front counter. Both great-niece and great-uncle stared at their respective sweet treats as if they could teleport them out of this situation. Bob glanced out the window and saw Helmut and Raz standing outside of the car. The former was on one knee with his hand on the teen’s shoulder, speaking earnestly but inaudibly, and the latter was scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the asphalt.

“Are you going to lecture me?” Lili finally cut through the silence.

Bob turned back to her. “No. Not really.”

“No?” She broke her gaze away from her ice cream just a little bit, eyeing him with surprise. “Then why did Helmut take Raz and leave us alone?”

She was so perceptive, so smart. And yet, still so young.

“Well, I… I still want to talk to you about what happened. I’m just not very, good, at this kind of thing.” He took his spoon and absentmindedly began drawing a flower in his soft-serve. “You already know what you did wasn’t a good idea, right? So I don’t think a lecture would help things any on that front.”

She didn’t respond. He continued.

“It’s less about the fake ID and more…the reasons you made the fake ID. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so, but I know what I’m doing, Uncle Bob. I’m not going to drink irresponsibly.”

The herbophanist shook his head. “But you’ll do irresponsible things to be able to drink in the first place.”

“That’s not –” Lili didn’t have a good rebuttal. She folded her arms and grumpily started eating her cherry chocolate delight. “Whatever. It’s two different things, anyway.”

Against his better judgement, Bob began picking at his own food as he thought about how best to bring the subject back up without making the teen defensive again. Spoons clicking against teeth was the only sound between them for a solid minute.

Finally, an epiphany.

“Did Truman ever…tell you anything, about your great-grandma?”

The girl paused with a bite halfway up to her mouth. She frowned, confused. “Grandma Tia? Not much. Just that she died when he was a baby.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.” He ran a tired hand over his face. The ache in his heart might have long-since healed into a scar, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when pressed. “She passed away when I was nineteen. The doctors told me it was liver failure.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Lili’s mouth thinned and she put her spoon down, uncomfortable.

“When I…found out the reason behind her death, I was horrified by it. It didn’t make sense to me why she would willingly do something that hurt her so badly, especially when I was right there to love her and help her. It felt like a betrayal that she never got help or made herself stop. I was…disgusted by the mere thought of doing anything like that.”

Bob took a moment to breathe and wipe his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but better safe than sorry.

“It sounds pretty hypocritical when I say it now, doesn’t it?”

His great-niece only gave him a hesitant look.

“Anyway, uh, where was I…” He worried his lip. “Oh, right. I told myself that I’d never touch the stuff after that. I was angry at what she’d done, and I was determined not to have the same ‘weakness’, so to speak. As you know, it, uh, it didn’t last long. I was at a college party barely a year later when I was invited by some friends to drink with them. I didn’t make human friends very easily back then – actually, I still don’t – so I was a little desperate to keep them. It turned out to be pretty hard whiskey, so I got hammered.”

The man leaned back in his seat, staring at the patterns in the booth table.

“Back then, no one really knew how alcoholism could run in a family. Everyone thought it was a personal choice to keep drinking. It wasn’t even classified as an addiction yet. So I didn’t know how susceptible I was, or how careful I had to be. I’d spend months not having a single drink, thinking I was fine and could handle myself, and then I’d get plastered for a week at parties and bars and God knows what else, and it would take me even longer to get myself to stop again. It was like that even when I was with Ford and his gang. It wasn’t until I started dating Helmut that I started trying to change those habits. I’d never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally that I wanted to be a better person for them, until him. And it worked for a while.

“Well, barring our wedding, of course. I got shitfaced at the reception. It was embarrassing afterwards, but Helmut told me it made our cake-eating ceremony a hell of a great time.”

Lili snorted, and it was accompanied by a tiny upturn of her lips. Then it dropped as her expression became solemn. “And then…everything with Maligula happened, right?”

“Yeah. I think you know the rest of that story.”

“Uh-huh.”

Great-niece and great-uncle sat together for a while, just thinking about it all.

“I know I have to be more careful drinking than a lot of people, Uncle Bob,” Lili finally said at length. “My dad warned me about it when I was old enough to ask.”

“Truman is a good dad,” he murmured in response.

“The best dad.”

“Definitely the best dad.”

More silence.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and him,” she continued. “Or scare you. I know it was dumb to do what we did tonight.”

Bob looked at her, and she gave a conceding sigh.

“Okay, it was dumb to do a lot of what we’ve been doing with this stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m not being careful.”

“Kid, it’s not always just a matter of being careful. I thought I was being careful. I thought that for years and years, and when I finally realized I wasn’t, I convinced myself I could stop any time I wanted to, and kept up the same patterns anyway. That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I’m just worried about you.”

Lili closed her eyes with a grimace. “I know. I’m sorry, Uncle Bob.”

“Hey, kiddo, look at me.” He waited until she did so. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not disappointed, either. That’s your dad’s job. I get it, is what I’m saying. It gives you a buzz, and it’s fun and exciting, and you just wanted to have a good time with your, uh…”

Bob leaned in a bit, and dropped his voice to a stage whisper.

“Is Raz still your boyfriend?”

“Wha –” her cheeks went red. “Yes, he is!”

“Alright, sorry, I’m just always out of the loop. No one ever tells me when these things change or not. Anyway,” he continued before she could get brighter than the cherries in her ice cream. “I’m just saying that you gotta be more than careful with this kind of thing. Everyone should be, really, but especially people like us. Plants aren’t the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family, unfortunately, so we just have to be aware of it and act accordingly.”

The teen turned this over in her mind. He could practically see the gears moving. When she looked at him again, it was with a slow, contemplative nod.

“No more late-night bar-hopping?” Her great-uncle asked.

“No more late-night bar-hopping.” She answered, sincere.

“Good.” He looked outside. Helmut and Raz were both lying on the front of the car, pointing out stars to each other. The sight made him smile. “Come on, we’ll work on that whole thing about Adam and Lizzie giving you alcohol another time, when it’s not three in the morning. For now, let’s rejoin our boys again and go get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Lili slid out of the booth and tentatively took her family member’s hand. His fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. “And...thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“Well, what can I say. Us weird Zanotto plant people hafta look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

They walked out together, hand-in-hand.

------------------------------

A/N: I knew from promotional material that we'd be going into the mind of someone struggling with alcoholism, but Bob's Bottles punched me hard in the gut. It's probably my favorite mind in the game, both because it's visually gorgeous and because it hit a little close to home with some of the themes, like generational alcoholism and how the addiction can make someone a shell of themselves.

I wrote half of this three weeks ago and then found myself really struggling to finish it because it brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I'd sorted through a long time ago.

Psychonauts, man.

#psychonauts 2 #psychonauts 2 spoilers #Bob Zanottto #Helmut Fullbear #Lili Zanotto #Razputin Aquato #Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear #psychonauts

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blackcatfromthevoid · 3 years

Note

Hi, I'm new to your blog and really love it!

Could you with a headcanon about a predator trying to court a S/O that is trying to court them as well? Like he gives her a skull and she makes him food?

Hi! And thank you so much! I'll try my best with these headcannons

(Sorry this took so long I had to get my creative juices flowing)

You courting your Yautja and them courting you at the same time:

Confusion- At first the both of you are aware of your feelings however neither of you are entirely aware of the others courting methods

At first things started off small. Your Yautja friend would hunt game animals from earth and gift them to you. It wasn't uncommon for you to see the polished skulls of deer, moose, etc, placed nicely as a centerpiece in your living room. You were uncertain as to why they started to give you such gifts. You knew it ment something important in Yautja culture though. Little did you know, they were trying to court you.

You knew how you felt about them so eventually you return affections in your own way. You couldn't hunt like they could but there was perhaps something else you could do? You settle on the idea of fixing meals for them. I mean they were a big alien warrior and they have to eat, right? So everytime when they returned to your home you always had something nice and hot for them to eat. You were happy they always accepted the meals you made.

Your Yautja friend enjoyed these meals and was thankful for them of course. They were confused as too why you started feeding them though as they usually found their own food. This made them wonder, was this a form of human courting? The thought made them very excited and determined to bring you only the best trophies.

Things went on like this for a while. More trophies appeared around your home and more meals were being made. Things naturally escalated. The trophies and meals got more elaborate and grand. Soon it was like you were becoming a chef and your yautja was making a museum out of your home.

The both of you realize what was going on rather quickly after things picked up. One day the both of you confess that each other needs to have a talk. So the both of you take a seat in the living room ready for the big discussion.

Your Yautja friend speaks first. They explain very directly that all those trophies was because they wanted you as a mate. They got all those various different skulls and such to impress you of course. Only the best for who they're courting. Since you didn't reject their gifts they just kept on giving. They do admit to being unsure whether you felt the same way or not.

You confess that you suspected that might the reason why they'd started but wasn't entirely sure. But you also admit all those delicious meals you prepared for them was your own way of flirting back. You were aware receiving these kind of gifts from a Yautja was very important so you wanted to give back you said. But you had no idea what to give so you defaulted to something everything needs, food.

There was a brief moment of silence after you both confessed. The air was awkward until it was broken up by your Yautja friend laughing. You were pretty surprised since you've never heard or seen them laugh, so you just sat there stunned.

After they stopped laughing they explained that the both of you were courting the other but neither was totally sure. They compared this to one of those "movies" you told them about. You began to laugh too.

It was funny the both of you tried courting the other without words. Both of you picked up on the others actions and both of you had uncertainty about each other. But now that you've both chatted about it, the air was clear. Now you both had that nagging question in mind. Will you be my mate?

You blurted out the question. You ask, "So are we going to be lovers now or..." It was pretty frank but both you were dying to know. It doesn't take long for your friend to reply with a trilling yes.

Ecstatic, you jump up and hug your now mate. At first they're a little surprised at first but they wrap their big strong arms around you too. You both share a long warm embrace, with deep purrs bellowing from your mate.

After you both let go, your mate asks what that if that's a common way for humans to show affection. You say yes, you're curious as well so you ask how do Yautja commonly show affection. They simply say, "Like this." Next thing you know your small face is being cupped in their giant hands. They lean in and gently rest the crest of their head upon your forehead. You lean your head towards theirs too. After a while you both pull away from each other.

"Wanna know one more common form of affection? " you ask them. They're eager to learn so they quickly say yes. "Lean a little closer to me," you tell them. They do that and you put you hands on their broad shoulders. Despite them leaning over for you they're still super tall. Standing on your tippy toes you manage to place a kiss on their crest. They look a bit confused by this at first. But it quickly turns into enjoyment.

"What is this action called?" Your mate questions. "A kiss," you reply. "I like this kiss gesture...will you give me another?" They say. "Of course! As my mate you are granted with infinite kisses!" You say going in to smooch them again.

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

#alien vs predator #avp #predator #yautja #exophilia #ask #request #my writing

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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

Text

Suicidal Misunderstanding XXI

Part I - - - - - - - - Part XVIII - - - - Part XIX - - - - Part XX

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

“This is Master Kit Fisto, requesting permission to land.”

“Hold on one moment please, General Fisto.”

A crackling sound filled the air while Ahsoka bounced her leg anxiously up and down in the copilot’s seat.

“I’ve been told to redirect your shuttlecraft to auxiliary seven. Sending coordinates now.”

“Aux Seven?” Kit frowned at the comm. “Are you certain? That’s a deployment pad.”

“Affirmative, High Council Orders. You and Commander Tano are to land on aux seven. Have you received the coordinates?”

“Yes, yes- I know where I’m going. Thank you. Over.”

“Over.”

Ahsoka shot the Nautolan Master an anxious look.

“Maybe they realized Obi-Wan’s injuries were actually an attack and they’re redeploying me and Skyguy to go after the jerk responsible?” the Padawan asked hopefully.

Master Fisto grimaced. “I would hope they’re not sending you out into the field so soon but I suppose the Ghost Nebula crisis has been escalating. Ahsoka...if they are assigning you a mission and you’d rather stay at the temple-”

“I should be with Master Skywalker and the 501st,” Ahsoka said resolutely. “I shouldn’t have left them in the first place. Skyguy said I could help the war and see Lee Char and I just-” Ahsoka cut herself off with a slight snarl.

Kit sighed. “You’re a remarkable padawan and commander. I simply wanted to let you know I’m happy to support you if you wish to rest.”

The young tortugan bounced her leg a little more. “Thank you Master Fisto, but I’m fine.”

They spent the rest of the short flight in silence. When they finally reached the landing pad, they were met by a small contingent from the 501st, as well as Master Windu himself, who greeted them with a short bow and a placid expression.

“Master Fisto, Padawan Tano, I trust your flight went smoothly?”

“Yes, Master Windu,” Kit and Ahsoka said in unison.

“Padawan Tano- is there any thing I should be aware of that would prevent you from shipping off with the 501st? I regret that you won’t have time at the temple but...situations are escalating rapidly and it’s been agreed that the best place for you is onboard the Dauntless.”

Ahsoka straightened her spine. “I’m ready for my next mission Master Windu.”

“Sir-” Captain Rex interjected, “Does this mean that General Skywalker isn’t stepping down from command anymore? Surely you’re not shipping Ahsoka off alone?”

A muscle throbbed in Master Windu’s forehead. “General Skywalker’s status is classified.”

Captain Rex opened his mouth.

“As is General Kenobi’s. You will simply have to trust in the High Council’s decision. Padawan, follow the Captain to his transport shuttle. Master Fisto, you’re with me.”

Ahsoka started to move in a daze but Kit stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“Mace- surely you can tell young Tano more than that before sending her out- she’s already partially informed regarding the situation with Master Kenobi. I realize time is of the essence but a Padawan’s place is with their Master, correct?”

The troops shifted and Captain Rex openly scrutinized General Windu. The Jedi looked calm. Too calm. He was hiding something. Obviously.

“I’m afraid it’s all classified, including what you’ve already been told. All I can tell you right now is... to trust in your General.”

Rex, already close to his breaking point, snapped at Windu. “Are you talking about Krell?! That demagolka is-”

“Watch your language, Captain.”

“Yes, sir.”

Master Fisto frowned heavily “Mace, I’m not comfortable with this. As a fellow council member, I ask we delay sending Ahsoka until we’ve had a chance to discuss things further- I’m happy to fly her to a rendezvous with the 501st if that’s what we decide.”

Windu shook his head firmly. “I’m afraid that time of the essence and the matter isn’t open to discussion. You have your assignments. Padawan Tano will be technically placed under Master Krell’s watch, though I’m explicitly assigning her to focus on her duties with the 501st. Padawan, you’re to focus on your military responsibilities with Captain Rex, not training with Krell; he’s received a copy of my orders in the regard. Everyone needs to trust that the council has- a bigger picture than any one campaign, or any one person.”

A hint of frustration crept in Master WIndu’s tone and Ahsoka swallowed down her bitter thoughts.

“Yes, Sir,” she said, saluting the Master of the Order with military precision. Rex snapped off a salute as well, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder before guiding her away.

“Mace, what the-”

“Not here.”

“I’m not-”

“Not. Here.”

Master Fisto cast one last look at the retreating 501st before chasing after the Human Jedi Master, the force too turbulent to tell him if it was the right decision.

To Kit’s continuing dismay, he was led not inside the temple, but to a nearby speeder. Mace was dead silent for the short walk, gesturing silently to enter. Kit’s lips tightened but he climbed in, a temple guard starting to fly the moment the doors shut.

“Mace-”

“Read this,” Master Windu said brusquely, pushing a datapad into the Nautolan Master’s hands.

Master Fisto scanned the screen, large eyes growing wider the longer he read.

“No!” Kit gasped, floundering in the force for reassurance, but Mace’s shields were like durasteel. Kit softened slightly.

“Master Kenobi...you really don’t know where he is?”

Mace stared out the window.

“Keep reading,” he said hollowly.

“...You think he might attempt to assassinate Dooku? AND the Chancellor? By himself?”

“He was...disconnected from reality at points,” Mace said carefully. “He was aware of that fact, but seemed to blame the Sith and the Politicians for the war. His...trust in the Order is severely shaken.”

Kit continued to scroll through the pad, pausing and reeling in horror. “He stabbed Skywalker?!”

Mace nodded tersely. “And now Skywalker’s AWOL as well. He handled Obi-Wan’s initial...breakdown as well as can be expected, given the circumstances, but his continued shocking behavior after waking up...Skywalker was already severely shaken before Kenobi got to the worst of his ramblings.”

“Force,” Kit said heavily, rubbing his forehead.

“I know I wasn’t fair to Padawan Tano, but the council felt the need to get her off planet and away from specifically dangerous elements.”

Master Fisto groaned, leaning back. “I can’t believe the expansion region is considered a safer option than the temple.”

Kit looked out the window. “Mace...why are we heading to the Senate Rotunda?”

Windu seemed, impossibly, to tense up even further. “I need you to brief the Chancellor on Kenobi.”

Kit’s head whipped around, tentacles flailing behind. “I just landed on planet,” he responded in disbelief. “Wouldn’t it be better for someone was actually there to do that?”

“I can’t,” Mace said, a hint of anguish breaking through his shields and voice, before his jaw clenched shut.

Kit drew back, alarmed by the falter in stoicism.

Master Windu’s collected himself with a shaky breath. “I have to ready the 187th; with Kenobi and Skywalker out of the picture we need every General on the front lines now. I’m sure the Chancellor will agree, once you brief him on how dire the situation is.”

There was a short pause as the two collected their thoughts.

“...The last few days have been hell, haven’t they?” Kit asked quietly.

The Harrun Kal Jedi chuckled darkly at that. “They’re nothing compared to the shit-show that’s about to unfold.”

Master Fisto bent over, dropping his face to his hands.

Windu steeled himself before continuing on. “I need you to organize the Chancellor’s defense. Try to stress to him that he should be guarded by a Jedi at all times- tell him- tell him whatever you have to about Kenobi, so far he only knows that he was ill, but you’re authorized to give more details than I previously disclosed- his medical file is attached. Tell him our worst suspicions if need be. The fact that you’ve been off-world...makes you...above suspicion in some respects. I’m...sorry Kit. I know I’m throwing you in without proper support but...it’s the best I can do. You’re going to have to explain to the Chancellor how stretched thin we are.”

The Nautolan smiled weakly. “You don’t have to apologize, Mace, you’re the one heading to the front.”

Mace didn’t reply.

The speeder arrived at the Senate Entrance.

Kit steadied himself, grabbing the datapad and holding it like a shield as he marched inside. The speeder peeled away, heading back to the temple. Master Gallia pulled off the temple guard mask, frowning even as she navigated back the way they came.

“I don’t like this plan,” she protested again.

“Neither do I,” Mace agreed. “Do you have a better one?”

“We don’t know that Sidious’s mental abilities are that strong,” she said desperately.

“We don’t,” Mace agreed again. “All we know is that he’s subtle enough to conceal himself from us for over a decade while gradually steering us towards destruction, and also powerful enough to defeat us all in combat.”

Adi Gallia took a long meditative breath, desperately seeking calm as the force roiled, massive waves of upheaval rippling across the galaxy.

XXII

#star wars #star wars au #time travel #star wars fanfiction #angst with a happy ending #suicidal misunderstanding au #my au #star wars au no 27

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alltooreid · 3 years

Text

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

In order to keep Y/N safe from danger, Spencer vows to keep their relationship a complete secret from everyone they know. However, as their romance gets more serious, Y/N and Reid begin to realize that no matter how in love they are, they may have been doomed from the start.

A/N: Back at it with a hopefully very angsty fic! This is of course inspired by the Taylor Swift song, but you don’t need to be familiar with the song to read and enjoy! Also I made a playlist for this one shot, which you can find here (its best if you listen to it in order and of course you don’t have to listen as you read, but if you enjoy that kind of thing, I thought it would be fun). Additionally, in order for the timeline of this fic to make the most sense, I’m choosing to ignore the Lauren Reynolds subplot, because trying to incorporate it and explain it would be distracting and unnecessary in my opinion. Thanks for reading!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Type: Angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Content Warnings: Some cursing, general fighting angst, discussion of pregnancy, brief mention of abortion (follow up is left intentionally ambiguous, based on your own desires and beliefs you are allowed to decide where that aspect goes (pro choice tings))

“I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?”

Spencer Reid hated funerals.

Somehow he felt he was always invited to one, and no matter how hard it was for him to be there, he always made every effort to go. So when Hotch had to plan Haley’s funeral, Spencer knew he had to go, no matter how much he would hate it.

He looked down to the grass as his supervisor cried over his now dead wife, the most emotion he had seen from him ever. He refused to look up and watch, although there were at least a hundred people there to mourn Haley, this moment felt innately private to Hotch. Spencer didn’t think it was his place for his eyes to intrude.

So he stared at the lawn and got lost in his own mind.

Right then and there he realized he never wanted to go through what Hotch had to go through. No matter how many philosophers described love in the most beautiful, enchanting way, Spencer didn’t want it anymore.

He didn’t want to go through a heartbreak, because how worth it could it be?

Of course, all information he had in his repertoire pointed to the claim that it was worth it. Yet he couldn’t pay attention to Oscar Wilde, trying to tell him that “hearts are made to be broken,” or E. A. Bucchianeri screaming that “grief is the price we pay for love.”

All he could see at that moment was the most stone-faced man he had ever known, breaking down in front of everyone he knew over the woman he loved.

At that moment Spencer Reid vowed to completely give up on love. He would become the best profiler to ever live. People would compare him to Jason Gideon, but Spencer Reid would win every time. Spencer wouldn’t let himself be like Gideon and get so hung up over a person that he couldn’t ever work anymore.

So when Spencer left the funeral and went to bed that night, he was confident that he would sleep alone like that forever. It was comfortable like that and he was happy. Who needs to be in love?

Not Spencer Reid that’s for sure.

Well, until three months later, when Spencer Reid met Y/N Y/L/N.

She was beautiful, and Spencer knew he wanted to get to know her the first time he laid eyes on her.

But he was doing such a good job recently…. Even Hotch was impressed with his work ethic. The only one who had talked to him about his lack of emotion was Penelope, she seemed concerned when Spencer told her he didn’t want to meet let alone go on a date with the cute nerdy barista from her go to coffee shop. Spencer refused to reason with her, he was too focused on proving himself to Hotch and the rest of the team.

Even though in the back of his mind, Spencer knew he had already proven himself to the rest of the team, now he just needed to be good enough for himself.

A truly impossible task.

But he was still trying to do it, so he didn’t talk to the barista at the new coffee shop he was trying.

He wasn’t expecting her to try and talk to him. Maybe that’s why he was so willing to give up his own reasoning.

“That’s a lot of sugar, sugar. Are you as sweet as your coffee?” she said, giggling as she did it. She knew the line was cheesy and stupid but she had been eyeing Spencer Reid since he came in and knew she needed to get his attention. Luckily, he couldn’t help but laugh.

Their first date was right then and there. They got distracted and talked till closing, Y/N’s coworkers noticing she was actually putting herself out there and deciding to pick up her slack so she could continue.

“So are you going to call me Dr. Reid or were you just leading me on for 3 hours?”

“Of course I’ll call you, how else am I going to get you to watch Doctor Who?”

Y/N smiled, “Well I know this is kind of forward, but I have this art exhibit tomorrow, I would love to see you there. But don’t over think that! I’ve invited pretty much everyone I know. I have a bet to win amongst the other art students, whoever has the most people come to see them wins one of those giant Costco sheet cakes. I need that sheet cake Spencer.”

Spencer smiled, “Well, I am from Vegas . . . Maybe I could help push the odds in your favor.”

“Well I can’t wait to see you there. Tomorrow, 6 pm, I’ll text you the details.”

It was only when he laid down to sleep that Spencer remembered his philosophy on love, but strangely, he did not care.

He may have been trying to freeze his heart, but Y/N was coming in with a blowtorch.

And he didn’t mind. In fact he unlocked the door to let her in.

So when he arrived at work the next morning, he fully intended on going to her art show. He thought about what flowers to bring her. . . was this a date? Was last night a date? Were roses too strong a message? He couldn’t do anything red, it was too forward. Pink? What if she saw it as stereotypical because she’s a woman, maybe she hates pink?! Yellow Tulips were safe, but if he got her yellow tulips then she would think they were just friends and Spencer didn’t want to be just friends.

His internal debate was interrupted by none other than Penelope Garcia, but not to interrupt their paperwork day with a case, but to make an announcement to the bullpen.

“Hello my loves! I have an interesting idea for some team bonding tonight, my favorite barista and dear friend has invited me to her school art show. Of course she needs the most support humanly possible, so you all need to come with me and look at cool art!”

“Who’s this friend of yours Penelope?” JJ asked.

“Oh Jayge you’ve met Y/N! She’s lovely and I’m sure an incredible artist. You guys will all love her!”

Suddenly Spencer remembered Hotch and his broken down faces at Haley’s funeral. He remembered his philosophy on love and his fear of heartbreak.

But he also remembered how alive he felt with Y/N. How the way she laughed like a little kid and how that made him feel giddy. He remembered how she was always so interested in what he had to say. He remembered that he really liked her.

And at that moment, Spencer realized that he did not have to choose between being in love and keeping his heart safe from the devastating heartbreak of seeing his true love die. He realized that the reaper could only find Haley because Hotch let people know they were together Because everyone knew of Hotch’s wife, she was in constant danger.

Maybe if he kept Y/N secret he could still be with her.

“Spencer! Did you hear me?”

“No, um sorry Garcia what did you say?”

“I asked if you were going to come to Y/N’s art show, you know you too would make such a cute couple! You should totally come.”

“I actually can’t, I’m not feeling well.”

She sighed, “That’s what you said last time I tried to get you two together 187 . . . Do you want to talk about anything Spencer? You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I’m fine, I just have a headache. I don’t want to go out tonight.”

She rested her hand on his shoulder for a second, before following Morgan to the kitchen. Spencer knew she was going to say something to him, but he didn’t care. He had found the perfect solution to his conundrum.

And he knew exactly what flowers to send to Y/N.

Y/N texted him thirteen times, and waited an extra hour after the open house closed in case he showed. So although she went home empty handed, one person away from enough cake to feed fifty, she received a call from Spencer Reid.

“Hey, where were you tonight? I was looking forward to seeing you.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, something came up, but I have something for you! Are you still there?”

“Oh no, I just got to my apartment. I can send you the address.”

“I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

And five minutes later Spencer was at Y/N’s door, with Chinese take out and white peonies, a flower known for its apologetic symbolism.

Y/N blushed, “You didn’t have to bring me flowers Spencer . . .”

“Well I wanted to bring some to your show, but I figured this could be the next best thing . . . And maybe we could eat some of your Costco sheet cake afterwards. Sounds like a balanced meal to me.”

“Although I love that idea, I unfortunately came home tonight sheet cake-less.”

Reid frowned, “How close were you? Would I have made any difference?”

“Oh no!” Y/N lied, “I was way off, don’t even worry about it.” She smiled, “I’m just excited that you're here right now.”

Spencer blushed and looked down at his feet, “Well I’m excited to be here.”

Four months after that night, Y/N asked Spencer a seemingly stupid question while they were eating take out at her apartment. “Spencer, I love takeout and all but we haven’t gone out in public together since the first time we met. . . Call me stupid but I’m starting to wonder if you don’t want to be seen with me.”

Spencer sighed, “Y/N, it’s not that it’s just . . . complicated.”

“I just don’t get it. Am I the second woman or something?”

“No! Absolutely not! You are my one and only flower,” he said, smiling and then leaning in to kiss her nose. She giggled in response, but quickly remembered the serious nature of their conversation. “Y/N, you know what I do for a living.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

“Not too long ago, my boss was targeted by a serial killer who made it his mission to make his life miserable. In doing so he killed his wife. I just . . . I don’t want that to happen to you Y/N. I think I’m falling in love with you, and I can’t put you through that.”

“Spencer . . . I love you too.”

So no matter how badly Y/N wanted to tell her family, or update her Facebook status, she respected Spencer, and although she didn’t completely understand his concerns, she wanted him to be happy.

So she spent ten more months like that, catering to Spencer Reid’s peace of mind. Pretending to smile as he told her stories of all the funny things his team members did, all about their partners, and their love lives.

A couple times now, Y/N asked Spencer if she could meet them, but Spencer always shot it down. When he first mentioned the idea of keeping their relationship a secret, Y/N had secretly hoped it would be one of those things that was forgotten about within a week or two. But no. It had been many, many weeks, and Spencer still didn’t want to be seen in public with her.

And by now that was all she wanted. To go on a real date, to introduce him to her friends, to actually be able to tell her coworkers that something did come from that guy she hit it off with.

Everyday, Y/N felt she did the same exact thing, she went to work, would come home and if Spencer was still in Quantico, she would convince him to come over. (They had been dating for over a year now, and Y/N had never been to his apartment. She didn’t even know where it was). If Spencer did come over, he would usually bring some kind of dessert with him, and they would talk and be merry in their own little secret oasis. A couple weeks ago, Y/N started to get this uncomfortable, uneasy feeling that encompassed her whole body, her whole being. Every part of her was trying to tell her that Spencer Reid was not the man for her. And even though she was still very much in love with him, she agreed.

Although she loved Spencer for the person he was, the man who brought her every different flavor of cheesecake from the bakery across town (one a day for fifty nine days straight), the man who begged her to make him a painting for valentines day instead of buying him a present, the man who cried when she did and laughed when she did and-

There were a lot of things to love about Spencer Reid, but there were a lot of things to hate about their relationship.

She hated the time she bought a gold locket in the shape of a heart, and put a picture of them in it so she could keep him with her all day long, and he made her return it because it could fly open and someone could recognize him. She hated the day she came home with a little beige kitten named Betsy and Spencer made her give Betsy to her sister so that he wouldn’t get cat hair on his clothes and have to answer a million questions. She hated the time Spencer missed her birthday weekend because he had a case and couldn’t give an excuse to why he couldn’t go. She hated that Spencer was her entire life, while she seemed like just an inconvenience to his.

And most of all, she hated that she loved him so much. Because deep down she knew that she could never leave Spencer Reid, but she also knew that there was no way they could last if nothing changed.

Just then Spencer knocked on her door, she had offered him his own key many times, but he declined because he didn’t want anyone to see it on his key ring and ask what it was for. She let him in, and right away his fun perky smile dropped. “You’ve been crying. I can tell.”

“Is that the kind of thing they teach you in FBI school?”

“Yes actually, but that’s not the point,” he said, dropping his bouquet of red chrysanthemums on Y/N’s coffee table and grabbing one of her hands with both of his. “Talk to me Y/N.”

She sighed, “I love you Spencer, but I just don’t know if we can do this anymore.”

“What do you mean flower?”

“Spencer we’ve been together for over a year-”

“One year, two months and five days,” he corrected.

“Yes, yes that. We’ve been together for one year, two months and five days but no one except us knows that.”

“Y/N I thought you were okay with that, I just want you to be safe.”

“I thought I was okay with it but,” she paused, afraid of what she wanted to say, “I’m not Spencer, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I love you, and I want to be with you. To really be with you. What happens if we ever get married, do we have to get eloped, would you even let us get married because you need someone else to watch? When do I get to tell my mom I’m in a relationship? What if you get hurt out in the field, and no one has heard of me, let alone knows to call me, and we never get to say goodbye? How far do you plan on taking this?”

Spencer grew flustered, “Um, I- I don’t know? I didn’t know you were even thinking about those things.”

“Do you think about those things? Things like getting married?”

“You’re the love of my life Y/N, of course I do.”

“Well then something needs to change. We can’t live like this anymore.”

“Things will get better Y/N, I promise you, we’ll start small but I’m going to make this better for you. Actually, um we can start right now,” he started digging through his messenger bag. After a minute, he pulled out a smaller gold heart locket than the one you had originally purchased for yourself. “I, um I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but I feel like now is the best time. I couldn’t find the same one, but it’s the same picture inside.”

She teared up, “I love it. It’s perfect. Here, put it on me.” She turned around and pushed her hair to one side so that Spencer could clasp the delicate chain around her neck.

They kissed, and afterward Spencer spoke, “I hate to ruin this moment, but I’ve had to use the bathroom ever since I got here.”

Y/N laughed, “Ok go, I’ll be waiting.”

While waiting for her love to come back, Y/N admired her flowers. Ever since Spencer began to get her different flowers to symbolize different things she had developed an abnormal botany fascination. She would always beat Spencer to explaining the symbolism of her latest bouquet, so she already knew the red chrysanthemum was a symbol of prosperous, passionate love in most countries. However she also knew that in Italy, chrysanthemums were a death flower, given only at funerals.

Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if some unconscious part of Spencer’s genius brain was beginning to feel the same way she did. Three weeks later nothing much had changed in the state of Y/N and Spencer’s romance. She was still unheard of in the eyes of the BAU and two nights prior Spencer had stopped her from calling her mother to tell her about him.

And then Y/N discovered her sick, uneasy, all over body feeling was not just her incredible intuition.

She was pregnant.

She had taken a couple of tests a while prior and could just now get into the doctor to get it confirmed. But it was official. She was pregnant.

As soon as the nurse confirmed it she broke down crying. And when she asked her a couple more questions, she broke down even further. “Are you currently in a relationship?”

“No,” she sniffed.

“Do you know who the father is?”

“I don’t know,” she sobbed.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know where you want to go from here, but there’s a lot more options that you may think. Everything will be okay.”

Y/N still cried the whole way home.

She spent the rest of the day thinking about how to tell Spencer, and then overthinking what he would say.

She knew Spencer loved children, but he couldn’t even manage to tell people she existed, how was he going to explain a long term relationship and a baby?

It would have taken decades for Y/N to prepare to deliver this news, but Spencer showed up at 8:19 pm.

“Hi flower! How are you today?”

“I’m pregnant.” She blurted out, she was not planning to do it exactly like that, but she panicked.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant Spencer.”

He sighed and ran one of his hands through his hair, “You could get an abortion?”

Y/N lost it. “Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me Spencer?”

“I don’t think a baby is going to be very easy to keep a secret Y/N.”

“Is this how far you’re willing to go Spencer? You want to keep me hidden so bad that you want me to get an abortion? Are you insane?”

“You’re right, Y/N, I’m sorry, we’ll figure something out.”

“No, you’re wrong there Spencer. I’ll figure something out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I love you but, please just get out of my apartment.”

“Y/N please don’t do this, I love you, we can make this work. I know I haven’t been doing the best job for these three weeks, but just give me a little time and I promise we can do this.”

Y/N wiped tears from her eyes, then reached her thumb up to Spencer’s face, wiping his cheek. “Spencer, it’s not a matter of how much I love you or you love me. Sometimes, things just aren’t made to work out. We gave it a good run, but no matter how hard we love each other, I don’t think either of us is happy.”

“But I don’t know how to live in a world without you in it, flower.”

“I’ve never been in your world Spencer, after tonight, nothing in your life will drastically change. You don’t have to worry about living in a universe without me because you’ve already been doing that for 15 months.”

“Please don’t do this, can we just give it another try?”

Y/N wrapped her arms around him, “That’s all we’ve been doing.”

The couple stayed in silence like that for a couple of minutes before Spencer spoke. “Can we just stay here for one night. I can’t believe I never got to do it.” Spencer had never spent the full night at Y/N’s place because he always worried that he would forget to answer his phone and the team would try to come to his apartment to tell him they had a case.

“You know we can’t do that Spencer,” she sighed, knowing she had to stay strong and act on her own best interest, but she also loved Spencer. “But you can stay here, if you want.”

He thought for a moment. “Okay, um do I need that key you always offered me? To lock up when I leave?”

“No, the front door locks automatically when you close it, you just have to make sure you have everything before you go.”

And so Spencer slept in Y/N’s bed, for the first time, without her in it.

And Y/N called the one person she knew Spencer would never try to track her down to to avoid exposing himself.

Penelope Garcia.

She of course let Y/N stay with her for the night, and although she would eventually, Garcia did not pry when Y/N said she didn’t want to talk about what was going on. So Y/N walked to her apartment with peace of mind, she knew that although she had a lot to think about, for the time being everything was going to be just fine.

On the way to Penelope’s apartment, Y/N saw a flower vendor. She couldn’t help but stop by and pick up a bouquet for Penelope, but more so for the symbolic meaning.

Daffodils and daisies.

The flowers of new beginnings.

“I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I'd hold you as the water rushes in If I could dance with you again”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

holly’s tiny taglist: @reidingmelodies @hercleverboy

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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The Art of Subtlety in YSBTLF

Now I have yet to really talk about Betty and her development. Currently I'm on the episode where Betty goes to the bank to secure a loan through Terra Moda and it got me thinking.

Slowly we've been seeing the change from Armando's behavior towards her. Now it's been very subtle. One of my favorite scenes that display's the subtlety of his behavior is when Betty and him are being driven around by Don Hermes.

Right as they are leaving the building where they went to sign some documents to start the process of Terra Moda seizing Eco Moda Betty and Armando are talking.

She often jokes about her ugliness and as a person who in society has been outcaste by the mere fact I'm fat, I get that. We don't use it as a way to downplay our worth, better yet to find the humor in something that hurts us deeply. This is something Betty does often. Usually Armando agrees or goes along with it. The scene however caught my attention because after Betty jokes that she didn't get hired due to her ugliness she laughs and walks away and Armando stays behind and nods slightly, as if understanding that her ugliness could cause that BUT we then hear Don Hermes lovingly say "My beautiful daughter, did everything go well?" and Armando's face lights up. He sports a slight smile and stares at Betty as she laughs and tells her dad that everything went well.

The more I watch this show the more I realize that we see a lot of contrast between Betty and Armando's personal lives. While Betty's parents are very present in her life, constantly at the fore front of her ethics and morals as well as there to keep her grounded and realistic, though at times one can assume over baring and over protective, her parents love her deeply and you can tell. They treat her as their most precious possession.

However Armando's parents are a different story. His father always expects the worst of him, his mother coddles him but with conditions. His parents are only ever shown or involved when it comes to the company and/or his relationship with Marcela. Often when they do talk it's always about the company or again the relationship he's in with Marcela. It never goes more than that. We don't see them interact outside of that which causes that parental relationship to seem cold and distant. Kind of like a trophy child. Not really there to celebrate or show love when times are bad. Just there when things are on their terms. They show more interest in Daniel, Marcela, and Beatriz than they do to Armando and even then it's not saying much. In shorter terms, they suck.

So this scene in particular is one of my favorites for that reason. We see Armando, who at first was annoyed and being all pipirs nice to then engaging in conversation, joking, and letting his guard down and that's the thing. Often we see Armando with his guard up but around Betty slowly we begin to see him let his guard down.

Now in particular the reason why I bring this up is because from the get go I've always been interested in the complexities that Armando's character offers, but Betty is this different story. While Armando is complex in dark ways, Betty is complex is light ways. Her complexities aren't a form of harm rather a form of self preservation but still seeing the best in people, while Armando's complexities are in self preservation at the cost of others.

They both struggle in a sense with self worth. While Betty's self worth is rooted in her image and the way society treats her due to her not being societies beauty standers, Armando's self worth struggles are deeply rooted in his person's worth. Meaning that he doesn't find himself worthy as a human if he isn't succeeding, which makes him extremely arrogant. Betty's insecurities make her extremely humble and though being humble isn't a bad thing when there is no balance, her self worth is to the ground and due to this she allows people to step all over her and she often is a people pleaser because of this.

She lets people push her around and doesn't stand her ground when people are rude to her about her appearance. She does when it comes to her work but not as person and because of this she begins to idolize Armando because, unlike everyone before, he sees her as a person, when it comes to work.

This draws the lines, clean and crisp lines.

At work Armando defends her. He defends his decision to hire her. He defends her degrees and her experiences as an economist. This means a lot to her, because as mentioned before, she wasn't getting hired due to her "ugliness" and here comes a man that looks past that and hires her over the pretty one. We understand Betty's crush. We understand why she begins to idolize him even though he shows really crappy behavior at times.

First he constantly yells at her, laughs behind her back, allows his best friend to secretly see her as if she were this attraction in the tent of strange and ugly phenomena at the circus. To then being subtly annoyed when certain people mock her and make fun of her, though this gets him half points because he still allows his best friend to do this.

To end my analysis of Armando's behavior towards Betty up to this point I'll say that as this continues Armando begins to soften up towards her and while no one else picks up on it, Betty does. Which feeds her idolization of him.

Up to this point of the show Betty has been unconditional, even when she has needed to set aside her true feelings for him, she places his before her own. With Claudia, instead of ruining his night she stayed in the room all night long to which later we see Armando feel guilty over it but he gets no gold stars over that. That was a dick move.

Betty constantly shows loyalty, unconditionality, support, and most of all, team work. When he fails she always places herself to take the blame with him. She doesn't let him feel alone in his failures. Betty truly shows to love him. As a friend, as her boss, and as a girl who idolizes him and this moves him because to this point Armando hasn't had that. His parents do not show him unconditionality. His fiancé shows no team work or support and his best friend... he sucks. He is a terrible friend. Here is this girl who gives him all of this and for what? She doesn't ask for anything in return except to work for him. That's why we see the subtle change in him and Betty deserved that and more.

When they went to that cocktail with RagTela, where Armando started to hit on Ms. Colombia, I forgot her name, Betty doesn't seem jealous or hurt by that. In fact she seems unbothered and stayed in her lane, once again the lines being crisp and clean. However later on, when Betty tells Armando that they've got a meeting with Macro Textil and she sees Armando's face light up and ask how he looks, we see a subtle change, jealousy. She showed some of that with Claudia but Armando probably interpreted that as Betty being frustrated that due to that she had to sleep in the office that night. Here he doesn't pick up on it. She laughs dry only to cover her tracks and gets the man his cologne and throughout their meeting with Macro she shows to be a good wing-woman, minding her business of course.

Now let me skip some scenes. They're trying to negotiate a payment plan with Macro Textil. At this point what Armando has said isn't very convincing and Betty steps in, our bright Betty manages to say stuff that makes them think over their offer. At this point Armando has had all eyes on Ms. Colombia but he turns to watch her, with a slight smile on his face, a brief second of staring at her lips and completely absorbed into what Betty is saying and doing.

Now I want to bring us back to the main scene of this post. Betty sitting across her old boss. We have seen two scenes of her old boss and her interact before. Not only to drive the plot, but I believe to show the difference between a boss who was fond of Betty, after all he did say he was happy and pleased to help her with Terra Moda after being her boss for two years and a boss who is... more than fond of her but confused about it(to be fair Armando is so stupid when it comes to feelings the dude isn't even aware he's got them to begin with.) Betty's behavior is respectful and friendly towards her old boss. You can tell she's comfortable talking to him and so on and her old boss is the same. He's respectful and friendly towards her.

Why do I think this is important to the plot of the story?

It got me thinking. When I was working I got pretty close to my manager. He was married and older than me and we got along great. We talked, we joked, we had work discussions and we'd talk about life and stuff. However it was always very respectful and friendly, like a boss and their employee. My manager was very gentleman like. He didn't let me carry heavy stuff(As a fat woman I'm not used to that lol) however the line was there, Boundaries were there. Obviously we didn't have conversations that were too personal or even that personal at all. I could see Betty and her ex-boss being the same. A simple boss to employee friendship but if I had a... ship of sorts with my boss like Betty does with Armando my sensors of red flags would be blaring.

Think about your greatest friendship with one of your bosses. It's respectful and friendly but you don't cross lines, right?

Now I keep comparing their behavior to my manager's and mine.

That is why they show us, unlike with all the other Banks Betty has talked to, their interactions. To show a clear and distinct line of work related ships. Her ex-boss is truly fond of her but he doesn't cross boundaries and neither does Betty.

My ex-manager was respectful and we talked like an older brother and younger sister would. That was our work dynamic.

Betty's behavior has always been respectful and friendly towards Armando. Their work dynamic has been that she's the smart one and he's the pretty one and it works for them.

Betty's emotions start to blur when Armando's behavior towards her starts to blur. We go from seeing back to back scenes that show separate life styles and personal lives to having them blend in and once their personal lives begin to blend in so do their work lives.

During this day, before Betty goes to talk to her old boss, we are shown the scene when she tells him that Macro Textil was on their way to sign a contract with them that very day. Armando is between Betty and Mario and he talks to Betty. Constantly saying "Betty we did it!" and things along those lines but after each sentence he goes to Mario and repeats the same thing up until he goes to hug Betty.

[EDIT: This allows us to view Armando's personal dilema. Your brain often blurts the first thing that comes to mind and seeing as Armando isn't that bright when emotions are involved, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind and that is Betty. His first thought is to talk to Betty, to celebrate with her (since she is the reason why that business deal is even happening) but he is prioritizing her, picking up on it and then going to his best friend to celebrate it as well. It shows us subtly the change in him.]

He doesn't even do that to his best friend. Once again, the lines blur. Armando is the first person in this work related relationship to blur the lines and Betty follows suit.

Yes, the hug was work related. Yes he was excited over the fact they could release the new fashion collection they'd been working on BUT he hadn't done that for other deals that they had managed. He didn't do that with the first collection he launched. He's hugged her, up to this point, two other times. Once after the meeting with Daniel where Betty gave him lessons on economics and later when Betty was crying.

This is their third hug. I'm not reading into that hug but what follows before and after.

As I said when writing we're told to keep what drives the plot, character development, and overall story; everything else is thrown out the window. So these subtle changes, behaviors, and quirks we begin to see coming from Betty's interactions with Armando explain why it was so easy for her to be manipulated by this man. They are important because they are meant to show us what is okay and what is not. What is normal and what is not and in small ways their work dynamic begins to shift and the first person to do that is Armando.

because he didn't feed the illusion of love when that sinister plan was created, he fed it when he started to get confused about her. When he started to blur the lines.

Betty didn't just idolatrized him because he defended her work. She did it because he fed her feelings towards him. When Betty showed loyalty he showed to be more fond of her. He went from constantly yelling at her, being indifferent towards her, to trying to watch his tone and temper. When Betty showed unconditionality he showed kindness. When Betty showed support he showed loyalty and little by little we begin to see these two blur the line between personal and work.

The changes are really subtle that they fly over your head but when you pay attention to the actual story and not the romance you can tell when they start and that is one reason why I love this novela because very much like real life these changes are subtle.

Betty's love was really subtle and you can pick up on when she starts to fall in love, whereas with Armando his change goes from being so subtle that you're confused yourself to it being so bam in your face you can't deny it.

In any aspect their relationship begins to blur during these episodes and the clear contrast of that is with seeing Betty interact with her old Boss at the bank.

In the future episodes this theory is proven right when we no longer get clear cuts of scenes that show the difference between their personal lives better yet we get a very muddy and blurry view of their personal and work lives.

Betty's moral, ethics, and emotions begin to change when Armando begins to change. Up to this point Betty has been consistent with her morality, though close to stumbling her father has been there to keep her on the right path. She has been the sweet and loving person she's always been but her character has been consistent up to this point and it's important to note that and why everything that happens after this is the way it is because as an audience we have been warn over and over again and so have these characters but just like in real life we don't always pay attention to the subtle changes until their domino effect starts to make too much impact.

also sorry if this doesn't make any sense it's currently 6:40 am and I've been writing this since like four lol.

#ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea #don armando #armando mendoza #analysis of ysblf #armando ysblf #betty pinzón solano #betty ysblf #don hermes #nicolas mora #marcela valencia

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astrognossienne · 3 years

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tragic beauty: lupe vélez - an analysis

“I had to play with boys, girls found me too rough.” - Lupe Vélez

This is an analysis I’ve wanted to cover for a while for quite a few reasons. Primarily because, in a few ways, I see myself in her and, as such, feel the need to defend her and assert her true legacy: as a pioneer. Which brings me to the main reason I wanted to do this: to correct the scurrilous rumours about her premature death cooked up by a hating ass imbecilic Aquarius whose infamous book doesn’t deserve to be named. So if you want to hear the truth about this lady, read on.

Known as the “Mexican Spitfire”, Latin bombshell Lupe Vélez was (an to an extent, still is) a much-maligned and terribly misunderstood woman. A true Cancer, she was a force of nature and unconsciously antagonized others and made them uncomfortable because of her authenticity to herself and her emotional nature. Born during a storm, she had a naturally stormy personality. She could be hilarious and charismatic one moment, and depressive and vicious the next. Instead of anyone trying to understand her, they just stuck her with the “spicy fiery Latina” stereotype, not knowing or caring what was behind it. The harshness of her life before stardom may explain some of her fearsome, yet fun, personality; she grew up with violent trauma – watching her father kill and almost be killed during the Mexican Revolution. She also is believed to have had undiagnosed bipolar disorder, which would explain her extreme moodiness and outbursts.

One of the first Latina actresses to make an impact in Hollywood, she was subjected to the racist, sexist Hollywood tropes that forever typecasted her—she was called “senorita cyclone,” and the “hot tamale”. The Hollywood press willfully misunderstood Vélez’s sex positivity and consistently portrayed her as a woman who took great pleasure in her body, and indeed, the tempestuous Vélez had numerous affairs, including a particularly torrid one with a young Gary Cooper, and a tumultuous marriage to “Tarzan” star Johnny Weissmuller. But in 1944, at age 36, she found herself pregnant with the child of a little known-actor name Harald Ramond, who would not marry her and this reality made her come undone, and like my other baby Carole Landis, she succumbed to an drug overdose. Her promiscuity, right or wrong, became part of the way her stardom was packaged and promoted. Also, the press naturally compared her to (and pitted her against) Hollywood’s only other female Mexican star—the “high-class” and elegant Dolores Del Rio. The press couldn’t even find sympathy for her even in death and a false story was printed that she drowned in the toilet after vomiting up a spicy Mexican dinner. Her death is parodied and mocked to this day. Again, she’s a true Cancer in the sense that the same imperfections that everyone else has, she is seen as less than human for having them. I hope to help right that wrong by honoring Vélez for being the trailblazer that she is. At any rate, Vélez would seem to be a prototype for contemporary female stars, from Madonna to Rihanna, who have proclaimed their pleasure in their body and their sexual liberation — a pro-sex activist before her time, doomed to suffer the rejection of a more puritanical age.

Lupe Vélez, according to astrotheme, was a Cancer sun and Leo moon. She was born María Guadalupe Villalobos Vélez in San Luis Potosí, Mexico, to young upper-middle class parents. Her father, Jacobo Villalobos Reyes, was a colonel in the military, and her mother, Josefina Vélez, was an opera singer. They also had another son, John and daughter, Annette. The Villalobos family were considered prominent in San Luis Potosí and most of the male family members were college educated. The family was also financially comfortable and lived in a large home with servants. As a young girl Lupe showed an interest in performing, but her father was outraged at his daughter’s “low-class” dreams, and forbade his daughter from being in show business. All that changed during the war. Her family was in a state of upheaval—the Mexican Revolution was happening, her father had been presumed dead in the war and all their money was gone. While most of her family members were too proud to get jobs, a teenage Vélez did just that, supporting the family by working as a saleswoman in a department store. She then finagled an audition with a local theater. However, her father was indded alive and well and soon returned home from the war. Because at that time becoming an artist and coming from a well-to-do family was seen as embarrassing, her father refused to let her use his last name in theater, so she used her mother’s surname.

She proceeded to seek out venues where she could dance the then-popular “shimmy.” In 1925 she was cast in the big stage revues Mexican Rataplan and !No lo tapes! and became a big audience favourite. Her name got around to American stage star Richard Bennett (father of American film stars Constance and Joan Bennett), who was looking for a Mexican cantina singer for his new play. Lupe traveled to Hollywood but was rejected for the part for being too young. While in Hollywood, Lupe met film and stage comedienne Fanny Brice, who took a liking to Lupe because of her sparkling personality. She put in a good word for Lupe to impresario Florenz Ziegfeld (creator of the Ziegfeld’s Follies), who could use Lupe in one of his Broadway musicals. However, MGM producer Harry Rapf heard of Lupe as well, and offered her a screen test. When producer Hal Roach saw the test, he immediately signed her to a contract. Vélez soon made her major film debut in Douglas Fairbanks’ action-romance The Gaucho in 1927. The film was a huge hit and Vélez was an overnight sensation.

Along with her professional life gaining steam, so did her love life. Vélez sought out some of Hollywood’s hottest men, which wasn’t hard for a hot and sexy number like Lupe; men flocked to her like bees to honey. She was romantically linked with Gary Cooper, Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, cowboy Tom Mix, “Tarzan” actor Johnny Weissmuller, Errol Flynn, John Gilbert, Henry Wilcoxon, singer Russ Columbo, Randolph Scott, author Erich Maria Remarque (who wrote All Quiet On The Western Front and later married Paulette Goddard), Clayton “Lone Ranger” Moore, director Victor Fleming (director of Gone With The Wind), and boxers Jack Johnson and Jack Dempsey.

One of her first conquests was cowboy star Tom Mix. She also had an with newcomer Clark Gable, who cut off their romance because he was afraid Lupe would run all over town discussing their sexual secrets, which she did. Soon she had a torrid affair with comic genius Charlie Chaplin in 1928. Lupe revitalized Chaplin’s libido after he had gone through a torturous divorce from his wife. Whatever time she had for the many men in her life, that same appreciation didn’t extend to other women and she would frequently battle with the other females with whom she had to work with and would often threaten them; when she was starring in director D.W. Griffith’s Lady of the Pavements, she had to co-star with an actress named Jedda Goudall, whom she hated, and the two had a ferocious cat-fight on the set. When she made her final appearance on Broadway in the Cole Porter musical “You Never Know”, Vélez and fellow cast member Libby Holman feuded viciously. The feud came to a head during a performance where Vélez punched Holman in between curtain calls and gave her a black eye, which pretty much ended the run of the show. Vélez was territorial about the men in her life, she was vicious toward any woman who might be competition for her man or an acting role. She mocked Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, Katharine Hepburn and Shirley Temple, and her arch nemesis Dolores Del Dio by doing imitations of them.

When she was cast in the film The Wolf Song in 1929, she met Gary Cooper and immediately started what would be her first widely publicized romance. Theirs was a one-sidedly volatile relationship; he would often appear in public with scratches and bruises. One time, she attacked him with a knife during a fight. He needed stitches. By the end of their time as a couple, Copper had lost 45 pounds and was physically exhausted. He was ordered by the studio to take a vacation. As he boarded a train, Vélez shot at Cooper but missed. Lupe soon moved on to other men; she had a thing for fighters. In addition to having a brief fling with boxer Jack Dempsey, she conducted a flagrant, but secret, affair with the black boxer Jack Johnson. In those days, blacks and whites almost never conducted sexual affairs out in the open. She met Olympic swimming champion Johnny Weissmuller at the hotel where she was staying that was owned by film star Marion Davies. One problem: Weissmuller was already married. But no matter, he dumped his wife for Lupe and married her October 8, 1933 in Las Vegas. Theirs was not a happy, serene marriage, and they constantly battled, with Lupe filing for divorce several times in 1934 and changing her mind each time. Weissmuller’s patience was so strained he dumped a plate of salad on her head at Ciro’s nightclub. Finally, in 1938 she filed a petition that was finalized in 1939.

After having many hit pictures with MGM, they unceremoniously dropped her. The excuse was that the studios were no longer going to make Spanish versions of their films and there was no longer a need for Latin actresses. Vélez returned to Mexico in 1938 to star in her first Spanish-language film. Arriving in Mexico City, she was greeted by 10,000 fans. The film La Zandunga, was a critical and financial success and Vélez was slated to appear in four more Mexican films, but instead, she returned to Los Angeles. She soon went to RKO Studios and starred in the B-movie The Girl From Mexico. Despite its lowly status, the picture became a tremendous hit with audiences. RKO rushed her into another film, this time called Mexican Spitfire, playing an emotionally volatile singer named Carmelita. The 1940 film became another smash for Lupe. The Spitfire series of eight slapstick comedy films rejuvenated Lupe’s sagging career. In late 1941, she had an affair with writer Erich Maria Remarque whose wife, actress Luise Rainer later wrote that Remarque told her “with the greatest of glee” that he found Vélez’s volatility hot.

At this same time Lupe took on another lover in the form of a French 27-year-old bit actor named Harald Ramond. He was a strong and controlling man who knew how to tame Lupe. After she discovered that she was three months pregnant, she announced her engagement to Ramond without his knowledge or consent. When he learned of her pregnancy, he refused to marry her. Deeply hurt and stunned, she felt backed into a corner; she knew her career would be ruined in Hollywood if word got out she was pregnant and unmarried. It just wasn’t done in those days. And despite her wildness, Lupe was a devout Catholic, so abortion was out of the question. She could see only one way out: suicide. On December 18, 1944, at the age of 36, Vélez swallowed 70 Seconal pills, she lay down on her pink satin pillow on her over-sized Hollywood bed and arranged herself like a movie star, with her hands folded across her chest and went into an eternal sleep. Dramatic to the end, Lupe went out of this world in glamorous style. She left a suicide note addressed to Harald, which read:

“To Harald, May God forgive you and forgive me too, but I prefer to take my life away and our baby’s before I bring him with shame or killing him. How could you, Harald, fake such a great love for me and our baby when all the time you didn’t want us? I see no other way out for me so goodbye and good luck to you, Love Lupe.”

THAT is the truth. But the bottom line is: how she lived her life as well as the circumstances around her death are all irrelevant at the end of the day. What matters is the loss of a great multi-talented, pioneering Mexican star and a legacy unrealized and stunted by a world that wasn’t ready for her.

Next, I’ll talk about the most famous of her paramours, the yin to her yang, a perfect example of the special chemistry that Taureans and Cancers share, the strong, silent hero of the silver screen: Taurus Gary Cooper.

Stats

birthdate: July 18, 1908

major planets:

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Leo

Rising: Gemini

Mercury: Cancer

Venus: Leo

Mars: Pisces

Midheaven: Pisces

Jupiter: Virgo

Saturn: Aries

Uranus: Capricorn

Neptune: Cancer

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot: She may have seemed at times to be a shy, vulnerable, romantic individual who only wanted to please, but underneath she had a voracious appetite for adoration and respect, and would not stop until she got it. Without a doubt, she had a very warm feeling for others, and domestic security with plenty of happy togetherness is high on her list of priorities. When it came to cooperation with others, however, she had her limits because she was profoundly individualistic and, albeit in a charming manner, she insisted on doing things her way. Ultimately the most important thing for her was believing in herself and being true to her standards and aspirations. Most of all, she needed to fulfill her creative potential, which was like an intimate companion with whom she shared her life. You nurture it, protect it, and then you show it off, and whatever walk of life you are in, you tend to be a fine performer.

This gave her a lot of self-respect and a touch of vanity as well, and her emotional sensitivity combined with her underlying imperiousness tended to impress others and made them take her seriously. She was a devoted member of her flock, and she zealously and jealously protected and promoted whomever she was devoted to. When it came to developing her own talents, however, she seemed to know that she had to pull away in order to grow into her greatest self. Others may have thought she was a bit of a show-off but that was not the case: she simply had a deep sense of the importance of her own creative talents, and she felt only half alive if she did not honour them. Although she was pretty sensitive to criticism or rebuffs, she was just as committed to honesty and personal integrity; and despite her vanity, she eventually learned to laugh at herself.

She had a very good memory and found it easy to learn subjects that interested her. She was very kind and thoughtful towards others. Her imagination was very keen, but if it got carried away, she may have experienced irrational fears. Even though she may have tried to maintain a scientific and objective outlook, her mind was actually dominated by her emotions. When it came to careers, she may have felt initially vague or confused about what she really wanted to do. She was eventually forced to give up her career of choice by events out of her control (as was evidenced by the tides turning from the “Mexican spitfire” female ideal due to the changing of the times). There was probably some element of self-sacrifice involved somewhere in her choice of career (the element of sacrifice being that she had to sacrifice her child, and ultimately her life, in relation to her reputation as an unwed mother as well as her unborn child’s reputation as an illegitimate child). She had good technical and scientific ability due to her, at times almost fanatical, attention to detail. She was also fastidious when it came to matters of health, diet and appearance. She was not afraid of work and was very resourceful and capable. She also worked well in a team. She became very annoyed if somebody else questioned the way that she operated. Her energy levels were somewhat inhibited, her self-confidence reduced, and her ambitions restricted through fear of failure. Times of strength and weakness alternated within her. Even though her decision-making ability could be ineffectual through over-caution, she often seemed to be placed in situations where a quick decision was needed. When she succeeded, it was mainly through her own efforts. She also showed a tendency towards wanting to start at the top, wanting to avoid the hard work that gets you there.

She belonged to a generation with a rational and logical attitude to life. There was a conflict between tradition and convention, and the experimental and unconventional. As an individual, she had to learn to strike a balance between the erratic and the conventional. As a member of this generation, she had the ability to come up with original ideas which could be of practical value. She was part of a very artistically talented and creative generation that wanted to escape from the demands of the world around them into a world of excitement and glamour. She was part of an emotionally sensitive generation that was extremely conscious of the domestic environment and the atmosphere surrounding her home place and home country. In fact, she could be quite nostalgic about her homeland, religion and traditions, often seeing them in a romantic light. She felt a degree of escapism from everyday reality, and was very sensitive to the moods of those around her. Bow embodied all of these Cancer Neptunian ideals. As a Gemini Plutonian, she was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, she showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, she questioned more and learned more. As a member of this generation, having more than one occupation at a time would not have been unusual to her.

Love/sex life: It wasn’t easy to be passionate and emotionally explosive and also hold on to her dignity, but this was what she wanted to accomplish. She tried to conceal the pulsating softness of her sexual nature behind a façade of control and bluster. She thought that her display of strength and jolly self-confidence would hide her vulnerability and her susceptibility to virtually any sexual diversion. Of course, no one was really buying this cover up. They saw the luscious edges of her erotic hunger peeking through her disguise. That’s why they were all so anxious to be around her. The biggest problem in her sex life was how to deal with change. She loved it and she hated it. She loved following the lead of her feelings and surrendering herself to the moment. Too much consistency, even loving consistency, was apt to leave her bored and dissatisfied. But she also saw change as a threat to her sense of control and to the emotional security that she valued so highly. Because of this duality in her thinking, her reaction to changes in her sex life was abrupt, contradictory, and (horror of horrors) a little undignified.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Gemini

Lilith: Libra

Vertex: Scorpio

Fortune: Gemini

East Point: Gemini

Her North Node in Gemini dictated that she needed to prevent her idealism from influencing her thoughts to such a high degree. She needed to consciously develop a more clear-minded and analytical approach involving her thought processes. Her Lilith in Libra was definitely working overtime here. Relationships somehow caused her to err, and her partner choices caused much suffering. She expressed herself through others. As a lover, she was aggressive, yet co-dependent. As a mistress, she was not above trying to cause a divorce, which she did with Johnny Weissmuller and she ultimately became fatally despondent when she found herself pregnant with a bit actor's baby. She used her good looks as a weapon to help her get ahead in the movie industry. Also, Lilith in Libra strangely enough, manifested itself as a sort of lighter female Capricorn archetype, and she pulled herself up by the bootstraps in a rather glamorous way, going to work after her father left the family unit. As such, she exhibited graceful gumption right until the very end. Her Vertex in Scorpio, 5th house dictated that she had a desire or continual need for feeling irresistible and irreplaceable on all levels of intimacy, whether spiritual, intellectual, emotional, or physical. From the fires of hell to the heights of heaven, the further and deeper the range of interaction she could experience with another the more fulfilling. She had a childlike orientation, in all of its manifestations, toward relationships on an internal level. That implicit trust, or perhaps naivete, that was instilled in our childhood persisted far into maturity. The concomitant explosions and occasional tantrums when these constructs are violated also accompany this position. She had a need for fun, creativity, and excitement in a committed relationship, no matter how many years it has endured. She often had deep fears, typical of children, of abandonment, as well as a need for universal acceptance, no matter how she acted, which she needed her partner to respect and nurture, rather than rebuke, especially in adulthood. Her Part of Fortune in Gemini and Part of Spirit in Sagittarius dictated that her destiny lay in travel, education and communication. She was able to overcome enemies by her words and by her writing. Happiness and fulfillment came from being able to express herself fully. Her soul’s purpose lay in seeking truth, justice and fairness. She felt spiritual connections and saw the spark of the divine when she studied, broadened her mind through new philosophies, or looked for inspiration outside the home. East Point in Gemini dictated that she was often insatiably curious and loved to collect little bits of (what seemed to be useless) information and trivia. Her interests were quite varied, and she may have been somewhat scattered. Sometimes her curiosity could appear cold and callous as her level of objectivity was potentially high. There was usually an openness to learning in any situation.

elemental dominance:

water

fire

She had high sensitivity and elevation through feelings. Her heart and her emotions were her driving forces, and she couldn’t do anything on earth if she didn’t feel a strong effective charge. She needed to love in order to understand, and to feel in order to take action, which caused a certain vulnerability which she should (and often did) fight against. She was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. She generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. She was exciting to be around, because she was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, she could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Ultimately, she chose the latter. Confident and opinionated, she was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because she was bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—she was bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at her best, her confidence and vision inspired others to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves. ��

modality dominance:

mutable

She wasn’t particularly interested in spearheading new ventures or dealing with the day-to-day challenges of organization and management. She excelled at performing tasks and producing outcomes. She was flexible and liked to finish things. Was also likely undependable, lacking in initiative, and disorganized. Had an itchy restlessness and an unwillingness to buckle down to the task at hand. Probably had a chronic inability to commit—to a job, a relationship, or even to a set of values.

house dominants:

2nd

3rd

1st

The material side of life including money and finances, income and expenditure, and worldly goods was emphasized in her life. Also the areas of innate resources, such as her self-worth, feelings and emotions were paramount in her life. What she considered her personal security and what she desired was also paramount. Short journeys, traveling within her own country were themes throughout her life; her immediate environment, and relationships with her siblings, neighbours and friends were of importance. The way her mental processes operated, as well as the manner and style in which she communicated was emphasized in her life. As such, much was revealed about her schooling and childhood and adolescence. Her personality, disposition and temperament is highlighted in her life. The manner in which she expressed herself and the way she approached other people is also highlighted. The way she approached new situations and circumstances contributed to show how she set about her life’s goals. The general state of her health is also shown, as well as her early childhood experiences defining the rest of her life.

planet dominants:

Neptune

Mercury

Sun

She was of a contemplative nature, particularly receptive to ambiances, places, and people. She gladly cultivated the art of letting go, and allowed the natural unfolding of events to construct her world. She followed her inspirations, for better or for worse. She was intellectual, mentally quick, and had excellent verbal acuity. She dealt in terms of logic and reasoning. It was likely that she was left-brained. She was restless, craved movement, newness, and the bright hope of undiscovered terrains. She had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. She likely had strong leadership qualities, she definitely knew who she was, and she had tremendous will. She met challenges and believed in expanding her life.

sign dominants:

Cancer

Gemini

Leo

At first meeting, she seemed enigmatic, elusive. She needed roots, a place or even a state of mind that she could call her own. She needed a safe harbor, a refuge in which to retreat for solitude. She was generally gentle and kind, unless she was hurt. Then she could become vindictive and sharp-spoken. She was affectionate, passionate, and even possessive at times. She was intuitive and was perhaps even psychic. Experience flowed through her emotionally. She was often moody and always changeable; her interests and social circles shifted constantly. She was emotion distilled into its purest form. She ventured out to see what else was there and seized upon new ideas that expanded her community. Her innate curiosity kept her on the move. She used her rational, intellectual mind to explore and understand her personal world. She needed to answer the single burning question in her mind: why? This applied to most facets of her life, from the personal to the impersonal. This need to know sent her off to foreign countries, where her need to explore other cultures and traditions ranked high. She was changeable and often moody. This meant that she was often at odds with herself—the mind demanding one thing, the heart demanding the opposite. To someone else, this internal conflict often manifested as two very different people. She loved being the center of attention and often surrounded herself with admirers. She had an innate dramatic sense, and life was definitely her stage. Her flamboyance and personal magnetism extended to every facet of her life. She wanted to succeed and make an impact in every situation. She was, at her best, optimistic, honorable, loyal, and ambitious.