Tumgik
#has me worrying for my mental health
Text
Diving straight into V9 w/out rewatching the past volumes after 2 years is the weirdest feeling ever, like don’t get me wrong like I loved the 1st episode, it’s just that something was racking my brain about this that doesn’t feel right and I can’t put a finger on it.
Till I finally did my rewatch of the past 8 seasons that I realized.
It’s not even the change of environment and these wild ass new characters. It’s RUBY. Like the actual sight of her not being the perky, cheery leader that motivates everyone even w no hope left just broke my brain?? Even though I’ve been screaming for this breakdown arc every season since after v3???? It’s like my brain was used to seeing her optimistic side for the past 8 yrs that just it went “BSOD/beeboop does not compute” for 17 mins straight even though it all made sense??? I can’t even find the words to describe it somebody help me w this
32 notes · View notes
inkly-heart · 4 months
Note
please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
360 notes · View notes
moonkhao · 1 month
Text
hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
64 notes · View notes
starleska · 2 months
Text
ah, i love waking up to hate mail making fun of my art 😶 but you know, i think it speaks a lot to the emotional illiteracy of some folks that they think such a thing will get a lasting rise. who knows why they do it? is it for a cheap laugh? are they projecting because they dislike their own art? are they so personally miserable that they just want to tear other people down to fill that gaping void in their real lives?
38 notes · View notes
kingkenzieofmold · 6 months
Text
Hello! Been sick for the past 3 days and did what any artist does at one point in their lives, draw art about it. So enjoy a drawing of me in stick form suffering while bubbles talk about the past 3 days I’ve been sick.
Content Warning: Discussion of nose bleeds, sickness and mental health.
Side Note: wanted to add a bit about me going through a crisis but didn’t know where to add it. So here is some lore about me. Every time I get sick I go through a mental crisis over what ever is happening in my life. Crisis this time was me getting sick after years of not getting sick. Last time was about my relationship status I believe. Now enjoy the art, all of it is exaggerated so fear not, I have done a mental health and physical health check in. I am safe and alright!
Tumblr media
[Text: *Internally Screaming*
(Rebooted up 2DS to play Pokémon Moon Rowlet Beloved)
(They are ready to Fight God or Become God they’ll decide once they finish walking their dogs)
(Been sick for 3 days is completely over it)
(Pokémon Go addiction returned)
(Gets chronic nosebleeds. Whenever the nose is dryed out of to soft. The nose will bleed. They have bleed enough blood need for a sacrifice to a high power)
(And this was my prayer “Save me from this terrible Nightmare” the tornado - owl city)
(tiktok edits getting them through the day new crush acquired what is this madness)
(Unable to sleep for more than 8 hours they tried send help) ]
28 notes · View notes
storiesofsvu · 2 months
Text
Ontop making little changes in my lifestyle, I had exactly 3/4 of a cup of (decaf) coffee & suddenly had the energy & motivation to clean the whole house & fix something that i’d been putting off for MONTHS.
Should i have coffee more often?? 😂😂
Tumblr media
13 notes · View notes
dirtytransmasc · 9 months
Text
I can't put it into words, I have tried many times and failed, but the relationship between theon and asha means everything and more to me.
28 notes · View notes
piplupod · 3 months
Text
so there's a trans woman who goes to the centre and everyone calls her by her birthname which she is like... fine with but only because she has no choice but to be fine about it. anyways I've known her for a while through a trans group before the centre so I asked her today if she'd rather I call her by her birthname or her chosen name and she said she prefers her chosen name but I can call her by her birthname if I want and oh my god I was about to cry for her bc god I really feel that whole situation fjdkdl, I just told her "no I WANT to call you by the name you prefer, that's why I'm asking, I want to make sure it's safe for you if I call you [preferred name]" and she seemed so grateful and I'm just :') eeurrgghh i hate how we have to be grateful with crumbs !!!
its just absolutely wild to me that she's presenting femininely and wears skirts and dresses and everything and uses her preferred name when she writes her name down on stuff and yet everyone at the centre calls her by her birthname and he/him pronouns. like. how are people so fucking rude and oblivious ??? she's even worn a she/her pronoun pin to the centre like.... people are so fucking stupid about trans people I stg.
idk I'm just hoping to make her feel a bit more comfortable and maybe if I start calling her by the right name and pronouns then everyone else will too eventually because I know she doesnt feel safe correcting people. I'm not going to make a big thing of it obviously bc I don't want to put her in danger but I will be using the correct name and pronouns now that I've double-checked with her about it, and if I start feeling like it's making things worse for her then I'll check in with her again at that point. I've honestly been stumbling trying to use he/him for her when I mention her to other ppl because she is just... she/her in my brain. it's what I know she wants to use so it feel fucking awful to use anything else !!!
#and my counselor said smth abt her that rly didnt sit right with me#but i was too scared to challenge her on it and ask what she meant by what she'd said#it might just be that this woman talks too much and will talk my ear off if i let her fjfkdl#and then i wont make friends if i just sit with her every day like i was doing the first couple weeks#but smth abt the way she said smth more like... ''getting sucked into all the stuff [she] has going on''#but said in a more... eugh way#idk it set off transphobia alarm bells in my head. ''ooh man wearing a dress who thinks he's a woman how crazy and perverted'' sort of vibe#I'm just... worried. that my counselor is transphobic lmao. I haven't talked abt any of my gender stuff w her#she can she/her me all she wants lol I don't talk about gender w mental health professionals ever after that initial exp a few yrs ago#I DONT KNOW THOUGH THIS IS JUST RLY MESSING WITH ME#LIKE WHY ARE PEOPLE BEING SO WILLFULLY OBLIVIOUS ???#its really fucking upsetting and I've been trying to not let it get to me too much but jesus fucking christ c'mon people 😭😭😭#im hoping i can maybe help change things for the better bc I'll be someone on her side#since she doesnt seem to have that there. god I've cried abt this a few times bc its just awful#and it rly reminds me a bit of my own situation where i just. grin and bear the misgendering and wrong name#except im a coward compared to her fjdksl i never mention my name or pronouns#i will say though that she has consistently misgendered me no matter how often I've reminded her of my pronouns fjdksl#but like... they/them is difficult. i get that. I can't hold it against her esp bc she's in her like 50s or smth#head in my hands. i wish life were kinder to all of us. i hope one day things can be easier#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#transphobia#transmisogyny#<- for blacklists. i uhhh hope this doesnt turn up in searches but oh well !!!
11 notes · View notes
notjanine · 3 months
Text
me a week ago: i love my job!!
me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*
#like how have you hired FOUR new employees in the past year (two new providers a new admin assistant and now a CFO)#without having plans for people to level up?#also i have talked to a friend who got hired at a similar practice a few months after me and she’s already making way more than me!#and you know who else makes more than i do?#my 19yo nephew who didn’t even finish high school. to be fair he’s grinding way more than he should#but also so am i!!#my disabled ass is working 6-7 days/week almost every week and i can barely afford to LIVE in the city where i live!!!#anyway don’t mind me i’m only apartment hunting#while also knowing that my paycheck is about to be hundreds of dollars lighter every month bc my health insurance is about to kick in#right now it’s either looking like we are gonna have to live in the world’s shittiest apartment (not even in the nice part of the city) or#we might just have to find something outside the city. which would be farther from work and friends and everything#yes i am having a full mental breakdown every single day and it’s only gonna get worse bc i’m due to start pmsing any second now#and also my last day at my hospital job is this weekend#bc everyone (including my boss) has encouraged me to quit and focus on only the one job#so now that’s also at least a few hundred bucks more i won’t be making every month#godddddddd#i hate it here i hate it here#did you know? having a fulfilling job still sucks if you aren't fairly compensated???#this is also what happens when you are part of a hot girl profession where everyone else is married to husbands with tech jobs#so they don't have to worry about money like this#anyway anyway anyway#i have never had anxiety so high that i feel as if i might puke before and i used to have a panic disorder so this is a fun new experience#a nice cherry on top of the typical summer depression which is also beating my ass yet again!
11 notes · View notes
fridayyy-13th · 1 month
Text
wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
5 notes · View notes
seariii · 8 months
Text
Hum...
13 notes · View notes
vraska-theunseen · 7 months
Text
google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help
#alex talks#one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were#hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend#mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and#paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to#invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????'#and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay#overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day#honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10#leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the#most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried#hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive#worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric?#nobody reads these right
10 notes · View notes
Text
She's halfway done!!
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
tastyflowers · 2 days
Text
anyway I just had the most frustrating appointment with a doctor I've maybe ever had
3 notes · View notes
Text
That awkward feeling when a PIMI childhood friend sends you an invite to a party in the summer; but you know you’re going to be out of the cult and shunned by then.
What do I even say? Do I lie and say I’ll be there? Do I just not respond?
#exjw#ex jw#I’m not worried about this friend so much; I’m worried about the other friend#because the other friend has awful mental health and not many close friends other than me and maybe one or two other people#This childhood friend is acting very differently than how she did when we were close which could be completely normal#But she seems “spaced out” and very formal whenever I’ve spoken to her (though that could be the allergy meds doing that)#or maybe she knows through her parents through my parents that I wrote about her playlist of “inappropriate” music in my diary#and maybe she got grilled for it#It’s important to note that neither the playlist nor the YT channel were taken down. I can still find them#So maybe she’s not as “in it” as I think she is. But then again she did introduce me to her Bible study so… idk#Maybe it’s a situation of “I’ll take the husband; mom will take the wife; and you’ll take the daughter” but idk#I never had any Bible studies. I went on studies. I got a study shoved off on me when I was eighteen because no one liked her#for being “too much” and “needy” and “not following Jehovah’s guidance and using nicotine patches so she won’t die of a heart attack”#That was a barrel of fucking laughs#(I got reprimanded by the actual sister studying with her#for reading “what happens to your body when you quit smoking” articles to her and encouraging this woman to follow her DOCTOR’S advice)#But I’ve never started a study; nor has anyone passed off a study to me to keep#ex cult
5 notes · View notes
miodiodavinci · 8 months
Text
good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)
bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)
worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁
#please please please for the love of god ; ; ;#i am begging and pleading do Not let this be a repeat of last semester ; ; ; ;#this is exactly how i felt last time i got sick with covid and i Cannot afford another late start ; ; ; ;#i am. suddenly stuck by The Unwelcome Guest last week cryptically asking me when you're supposed to test for covid#and then saying 'hmm. okay. good to know.' and then refusing to elaborate#i swear. to god if she got me sick i'm#i. can't even say. i'm suddenly struck by such helpless grief thinking about how little i can do to keep her from being in my life ; ; ; ;#we literally Evicted her she all but threatened my older sibling into letting her visit weekly to take care of her potted plants#and then in october last year she was like 'my roommate has covid and i don't have money for a hotel i have nowhere to go :'('#so the agreement was she could stay for One Week#and basically she has been. on and off our couch since then.#like. only going back to her apartment for 1 to 3 days at a time before spending another two weeks in our house.#with new excuses every time.#and literally Every Time I Say No And Put My Foot Down older sibling begs on her behalf because she's busy hounding and guilt-tripping them#so like. what can i even do if it turns out she infected me with covid because she didn't care to disclose that she was feeling sick#(and decided to come over anyway)#i'm just. overwhelmed ; ; ;#i feel like crying ; ; ;#i'm already busy pre-mourning the loss of my mental health and down time with my internship starting back next week#i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks#and suffer Even More lasting lung and brain and blood and fatigue issues on top of that ; ; ; ;#a a a a a i just. feel like crying a lot ; ; ; ;#i'm already behind ; ; ;#i should ; ; ; try to work more tonight before the inevitability of it all hits me tomorrow ; ; ; ; ;
17 notes · View notes