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iwillstealyourjawbone · 9 months

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My fic for the MCYTblr Holiday Exchange! For @hydrobugz, beta'd by the wonderful @blocky-tides

Grian Dreamslayer, Ex-Watcher and Evo Admin, was bored. His executive function had decided that he didn’t need to be productive in the time he had set aside for working. No, instead his useless brain thought that what he really needed was to lie on some chests and let his thoughts run, because that always turned out great.

He considered going to bother X, but didn’t want to get up from his (uncomfortable but simultaneously the only place he could be without becoming even more restless and despondent) sprawl across one of his several chest monsters.

He was just dozing off when he was QUITE RUDELY awoken by one ImpulseSV yelling in his ear.

“Grian Grian Grian Grian Grian wake up! Wake up!”

Halfheartedly swatting him away, he rolled over to try to see what was going on, but forgot that he had sprawled on the edge of his chest monster, and fell flat on his face. Onto Impulse’s boots. 0 stars, would not recommend. The laces hurt your face. Grian should make laceless boots, they’d be better to fall on.

“Gri? You gonna move, bud?”

Oh yeah. Impulse.

“No, I live here now.”

Problem solved. Grian wins. At life. Yeah.

“Grian, I will call Gem. You don’t want to get Gem angry, right? Remember what happened to Etho. You need to build the back of Dwayne. It’s an eyesore, and Scar just built a castle, you can build half a base,” Impulse said, presumably staring down at him with a stern look on his face.

“Nooooooooooo :(“ Grian whined, pouting. Rolling closer to Impulse so that he laid curled around Impulse’s legs.

“How did you make that sound with your face. Grian. Grian how,” Impulse said, a look of utter horror written across his features.

“Don’t worry about it!” Grian said, grinning in a way that stretched his void-black eyes just so to strike fear into even a mines-hardened dwarf like Impulse.

“Grian,” He half-pleaded, half-sighed, a weary look on his face, the look of a man who has seen the Horrors (Grian, sleep deprived).

“:)”

Suffice to say, Grian didn’t have to finish the back of his base, and instead chugged a Slowness potion right after a Weakness to send himself into the closest thing he had to the sweet release of death on a respawn server, sleep. Doing that in the middle of the day had the unfortunate side effect of making him wake up at 3 AM and go for a night walk, terrifying Cub, who just wanted some water.

“Hey Xisuma!” Grian said, sock-sliding into the room where the poor overworked admin was sitting at his desk doing smart-people work.

“What now, Grian,” Xisuma sighed, already anticipating Grian’s antics, spinning around in his gamer chair. (He denied it’s true nature, but Grian and Pearl had gotten it for him in the first place, it was supposed to help with posture, and the description that the seller had given it was ‘Posture Correcting Chair for Gamers’, so there Xisuma)

“Your desk is very messy for someone who works on code, notably not on paper,” Grian said, fully off-topic from what he originally came in to do.

“Why are you of all people here, Grian? Normally you avoid me at all costs until you’ve finished the back of your base, which you haven’t done. So what is your plan here, Gri?” Xisuma said, tenting his fingers like one of those old-timey movie villains.

“You look like that old guy, what's-his-face … DR EVIL! That's it. You look like Dr Evil. You know, from the movies?” Grian clapped his hands in a satisfied manner at having figured that out. “Anyways, I was wondering for no particular reason if you knew how to sew or weave anything, just for funsies.” Grian tried to look innocent, but Xisuma had seen him in the midst of prank wars several times too often to be fooled, and had to clean up his messes far too many times.

“Grian, go build your base. I can tell from experience when you are hiding something or trying to get out of doing something, and right now, I see both. Stop procrastinating.” Xisuma said sternly, turning back to his Very Important Server Business and leaving Grian to find his way out of his base.

“Fine, I’ll just ask Pearl, I didn’t need you anyways, Ixay-Soomay-Vhoyad. Harrumph.” Grian muttered, standing there for a few moments waiting for Xisuma to change his mind. When Xisuma didn’t, Grian turned around, striding out of the base, arms crossed and nose scrunched up angrily.

Grian shot off a rocket to propel himself over Decked Out 2, taking a moment to admire just how much effort had gone and was still going into it. He waved to Tango, who was working on the exterior of the base, doing a loop-de-loop in the air as the blazeborne smiled up at him, then continued on his journey to the lands of Soup, also known as Gem, Impulse, and Pearl’s bases.

A few minutes later, he alighted atop the great alien fungus that one PearlescentMoon called home, and (after sneezing a few times, alien pollen apparently still triggers allergies) began trying to get his friend to snap out of her building focus.

“PEARL HELP!”

That should do the trick.

Sure enough, a second later he spotted her take off from her workplace on some rocks, and fly towards him.

“Grian, what? What’s happening? Why did you yell? Are you okay?” She said, landing next to him with her sword out, scanning the area for any danger.

“I didn’t want to walk around looking for you, your base is too big!” He said, bouncing over and bumping his head against her shoulder affectionately.

“Grina, you scared me, jeez. You are such a nugget.” She chided, putting her sword away and slumping.

“Sorry… anyways, do you know where I can acquire a bolt of fabric large enough to cover an area the size of the back of a base, for reasons of shenanigans?” Grian asked.

“Oooo, what shenanigans? I want in!” Pearl replied, excited with the prospect of a reprieve from her work.

Grian hesitated. Pearl was one of the most dedicated builders on the server, and he knew from personal experience that she was more than capable of knocking some sense into him if she thought he needed it.

Pearl gave him a knowing look, “You’re procrastinating.”

It wasn’t a question.

“My base,” Grian sighed. The cat was out of the bag, he might as well go all in.

“Gri, I’m not going to lecture you, because I know you know what I’m going to say, and when Xisuma gets on your tail about it you’re going to hear the unabridged version whether you like it or not. Now, all that said, what were you planning on doing with those large amounts of fabric?”

“I was going to fashion it up into a cape to cover the back of my base and call it finished,” Grian said, slightly sheepish but knowing that Pearl would find the idea hilarious.

Sure enough, Pearl bonked her head against his and let out a laugh, “Gri! Oh, that’s amazing.”

He was about to ask if she would help him even still when she grabbed his arm and started dragging him over to her giant mushroom house.

“C’mon Grian! We’re having SOUP!”

[JoeHills] hey grian, are you available to help me get wood? behind cleo’s base

[Grian] sure! omw

Grian rocketed through the Nether tunnels, beautifully built by Tango and his helpers, and one of the best ways to get around. As he came up on Cleo’s portal, he sent a quick message to Joe.

[Grian] @ cleo’s portal

[Grian] almost there

Shaking off the vertigo that always accompanied going though Nether Portals, he emerged into the daylight, only to be met with a stern looking XisumaVoid and one JoeHills standing behind him, looking slightly ashamed.

“Sorry, Grian! He made me do it.” Joe said, running back to his base.

“Grian,” Xisuma stated. “You can’t put it off forever, the season’s almost over. You and I both know it will haunt you forever if you don’t finish before we leave.”

He was right, however much Grian didn’t want to admit it.

“I know, but ‘Suma-”

“No ‘buts’, Grian!”

Hehe. Butts.

“Fine, I’ll go try and get some work done, but you know how it is. No guarantees, never guarantees.” He said, all the defiance seeping out of him and leaving a quiet tiredness behind.

“That’s all I can ask for, Grian.”

“Do you have chocolate to give me in exchange?” Grian asked, not expecting anything to come of it but still wanting to try.

“I have chocolate!” Cleo said from around the corner, having apparently been there the whole time.

“Give please,” Grian said, making grabby hands towards her, moving on quickly from her eavesdropping and leaving the bad vibes behind, he didn’t need that in his life.

The chocolate was very good, it was the fancy dark chocolate that melted on your tongue and that Grian would kill and die for.

“Cleo, we’ve talked about this! Listening to other people’s conversations is not okay.” Xisuma said, not over the negativity. He needed some crystals, Grian had heard somewhere that citrine might be good for calming? He wasn’t sure. It helped with something!

“Chocolate?” Cleo asked, ignoring Xisuma, he wasn’t the boss of her. Snapping off a piece, she handed it to the admin.

“Are you trying to bribe me?” Xisuma asked incredulously.

“Is it working?”

In the commotion of an increasingly weary Xisuma trying to impart some life lessons onto Cleo, Grian managed to slip away and headed back to his base to ‘work on his base’ (aka go find Jellie for some stress relief).

Grian rolled over in his bed, groaning as the sunlight hit his eyes. He usually had the curtains closed, that’s weird.

“Grian! Wake up!” Gem exclaimed.

Why was Gem here?

“All the Hermits are here! We’re going to help you build your base!”

Okay then.

Wait. What? His base?

“Pearl, X, and Joe helped arrange it! It’s our Hermits Helping Hermits project this week.”

That makes sense.

Gem ran outside, and Grian followed somewhat bemusedly and still tired from being abruptly woken up. As he stepped out onto his scaffolding, he stopped dead in his tracks.

All the Hermits were there. Gem wasn’t kidding. Cub and Cleo seemed to be competing over who could place trapdoors the fastest, while Joe fueled both the argument from the sidelines working in a crafting table where he was rapidly filling double chests with materials.

To their right, Impulse, Etho, and Tango were laughing while Bdubs squawked indignantly, most likely the (lighthearted) butt of a joke.

Directly beneath them were Mumbo and Scar, who seemed to have gotten distracted, with Mumbo looking over Scar’s prosthetic supports for his back and legs while Scar waved his hands as he did when he was off on a tangent. Even from a distance, Grian could hear the words ‘Stormtroopers’ and ‘rides’, so he could make an educated guess that he was talking about Scar’s recurring hyperfixation, Disneyland.

The other Hermits were scattered around, all laughing and chatting and working on parts of the base.

He was snapped back to the present by Xisuma and Pearl landing right in front of him and Gem. Pearl beaming and Xisuma’s body language conveying happiness too, albeit a little more reserved.

“Pearl, ‘Suma, this is amazing! I- You- Why-. I have no words.”

Not knowing how to articulate the unabashed joy he felt at all his friends coming together to help him, he surged forward and enveloped them both in a hug.

He stayed there, trying to regain his composure, for longer than he would like to admit, but eventually he pulled away.

“C’mon, nobody’s working on the roofs yet!”

#hermitcraft #grian #holiday exchange #my first fic :D #happy holidays yall #have some fluff

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